Believers sure can dish it out, but they can't take it.

[Curmudgeoness]

I have several friends who are constantly sending me angels and prayers and all the bullshit emails about how wonderful god is. They do this knowing that I am an atheist. They do this even after I have let them know that I will just delete the email without reading it and that I do not want them.

So I had one too many of these assinine emails, and I send one of the jokes I saw here to these people. I cannot tell you the shitfest that I started! What the fuck makes them think that what they send me isn't just as offensive to me as the joke was to them?

This makes me wonder what the hell is going on. I am puzzled by their reaction....and I chose a rather mild joke. Is it that they don't really believe me? Is it that they think they are doing me a favor trying to save my sorry ass, but I am just being mean? Or is it that they can't take a joke?

Jeez louise.

[Angry Dragon]

1. Tell them to read their Bible where

god tells them to turn the other cheek

[Curmudgeoness]

3. How about the part

about not praying in public like the hypocrites.

But I think that would just piss them off even more, calling them hypocrites. There is no win in this.

[PVnRT]

26. I prefer the part about being blessed to be persecuted in Christ's name

[Warpy]

2. "Now you know how I feel about the mails I've asked you not to send

and if you insist on sending me any more of them, I will put you on block. If you need to contact me, you can pick up the phone or spend money on a stamp."

Then hit "reply to all."

It works like magic. I've only had to block two people over the years. Then the word got around and nobody sends me right wing or religious crap any more.

[Curmudgeoness]

4. I will try that "now you know..." part

but a few of these people are not ones I am willing to block. There are some people who mean enough to me that I still put up with these emails. It is amazing that we are able to be close friends, but we never broach the subject of religion when we get together. It seems more of a passive-aggressive thing that they do it from a distance, but never to my face.

Wait a minute. That passive-aggressive thing pisses me off. WTF.

[Warpy]

5. Exactly, which is why I did follow through with block

I did take one of them off block after a month of promises not to send any more horseshit, apologizing for not respecting me enough to avoid it in the first place.

You have to bludgeon these people to get through to them. You've got their attention. Now follow through to get rid of email clogging rubbish.

[Starboard Tack]

10. It's a tough one

I would ask them politely to refrain from the emails as you find them offensive. If they don't want to be offended in return they should stop.

[Curmudgeoness]

17. That was the point, I had done that.

I have been clear that I don't want them, they are waiting their time and mine, and it just makes me more anti-religion instead of moving me to "see the light". That didn't do anything. This might have, we will have to see.

I was just amazed at how offended they were, and they just don't see it from my side. Sigh.

[Starboard Tack]

18. I guess they missed the "do unto others..." lesson in Sunday school.

If you really want to keep these people as friends, you might try a novel approach. Invite them over for a bible reading/study session and cherry pick the most outrageous shit you can find.

[Curmudgeoness]

20. Bwahahaha, yep,

that would keep them as friends! But it would be fun.

I have to keep these people as friends, some have been in my life for years and are always there for me. But beyond that, this area is so religious that I would be alone all the time if that was a criteria for friends. Let's put it this way, I am subjected to long drawn-out prayers to the Christian god when I go to Democratic dinners here. Ugh.

[darkstar3]

6. I would have thought you'd learned that from back in the day in R/T.

Were I in your situation, I might send the following message:


Hmm...so the sauce for the goose wasn't good enough for the gander, I guess? That's fine, because I can't really say I'm surprised.

I suppose I could take the high road here and simply apologize for offending you, and then refrain in the future from sending you such things, all the while having my inbox stuffed with your continued forwards that strike the same note with me as my joke did with you.

I could take the high road...but the high road doesn't go where I want it to.

Instead I think I'll use this little flap as an object lesson in the fact that we should ALL be more careful when we hit the "Forward" button on email that has a few too many "FW"s and "RE"s in front of it. Aside from the fact that we all end up getting the same Maxine joke* or funny cat six times before it's all over, some of the people in your contact list may not share your point of view, and therefore all you've done is upset one of your friends or family members.

So please, consider treating your chain email like the chain letters of old: with a large grain of salt and a sturdy "wastebasket".

*Maxine jokes, BTW, are generally more annoying than angels.

[Curmudgeoness]

7. Oh no, you don't get away with that...

I love Maxine. I could be Maxine---the old Maxine who always had a cigarette and bunny slippers. Maxine, the original curmudgeoness!

Actually, you have composed a very good reply to the shock and disgust that I am getting. I will borrow that.

Yes, you'd think I'd learn. It just made such perfect sense to me at the time.

[darkstar3]

8. Darkspouse said the same thing when she read over my shoulder.

The problem is, the Maxine jokes I've been exposed to by my family have been ripoffs of the comics that carry the most jingoistic, right-wing, hate-filled screeds you've ever read.

You're right, the original Maxine was funny. But don't count on the email forwards you get with joke comics starring her to resemble anything but the artwork.

ETA: The funny thing about my response is that it is what I would like to say to a lot of people who forward shit to me, but I know I couldn't get away with it. I'd take so much shit at the next family holiday I can't even tell you.

[Curmudgeoness]

9. Well, you see, I have already opened that can of worms

so I figure that a "polite" apology/statement will go over their heads in some of the remarks. Also, I will amend it to suit what I have to say----but the bulk of your statement is great.

And if you are not willing to use your statement, believe me, don't play games with these people. Oy.

[WillParkinson]

11. +Infinity...

I love this reply.

The only people I have contact with in my immediate family are my mom and aunt. The rest of the family I have little use for and, it seems, we share the dislike. When they ask my mom for my e-mail address she politely tells them, 'no, he isn't interested' and lets it go at that.

It's worked great for many years.

[rrneck]

12. I usually tell a few nice clean jokes first

to soften them up, then hit 'em with something really filthy and offensive.

Hilarity ensues - at least for me.

[Curmudgeoness]

21. Interestingly, these same people

can send some of the dirty jokes and pictures right after their little angels. So I assume that filth will not offend them. Just anything to do with anti-Jesus or anti-god.

[HopeHoops]

13. Just tell them Jesus talked to you once. He said the entire Bible was meant as a slapstick comedy.

Then don't say anything else. Let them fight over the idea while you relax and enjoy a beer.

[Curmudgeoness]

22. ................

[MarkCharles]

14. As an atheist, I have no problems getting...

emails from my THREE Christian minister relatives, and my 10 or 12 relatives that follow that faith.

I know they know all about me, and they only send me Christmas greetings or Easter greetings. I can live with that.

They don't send me their latest religious kick or fad or whatever. They know better.

They accept me as I am, and I do the same for them. It's only fair. Fortunately, only 2 are sisters. One is retired and the other keeps her faith in her church, except for Christmas and Easter, which, I guess, are still big days of the year for her, and despite her living within a large predominantly Jewish community, somehow atheists need to hear about her emotions about Christmas still.

[Curmudgeoness]

23. Oh, to only get these at Christmas and Easter!!!

I guess that your friends and relative are more considerate than mine. Or maybe mine just love me more----so they are worried about my eternal soul.

[rexcat]

15. I have a cousin...

who "friended" me on facebook. Every other post was about Jesus. It was annoying and once I made a retort on one of her posts. My comments went right over her head along with several of her friends. At that point I came to the conclusion that she was not very intellegent and wrote her off.

Later I posted a comment about conservatives (my friends on facebook are way left of center) which she took personnally and I got snarky with her after her initial reply to my post. She "defriended" me right after that. No big loss to me.

[Curmudgeoness]

24. Facebook can be a wild and crazy place.

I also have shitfests going with conservatives there. Not that I want to-----it just happens.

Personally, I have one person who does all the religious posts, and I just went and hid all her posts....so if I am curious about what is going on in her life, I go to her page. Or I don't see any of that BS. Interestingly, this is not one of the people who sends me prayers and angels----she does respect that I do not believe.

[awoke_in_2003]

16. like you said in the thread...

it is passive-aggressive. You are wrong, you are a heathen. If they only bombard you with bullshit long enough you will see that for yourself. I am lucky, though- I come from a family of heathens, and don't have any uber-religious friends.

[Curmudgeoness]

19. I guess I am a heathen

depending on the definition you want to use. Unconverted person who does not believe in god----ok. Uncultured, uncivilized barbarian----I will not own that definition. (And isn't this the definition the god-fearing people choose to use?)

[awoke_in_2003]

25. I was not trying to insult...

I hope I did not come across that way. I just wanted to say that people like us have people around us who think they know better for you- they don't. I understand you, and hope you do me- you old curmudgeon

[Curmudgeoness]

27. Not at all offended.

It actually made me look for the exact definition, since I always think of the "uncivilized" definition. I learned something new. That is not the only definition, and yes, I certainly can be classified as a heathen. I am beginning to warm up to it.