Retreating Clinton Campaign Torches Iowa Town To Slow Advance Of Sanders Volunteers (The Onion)

[Bubzer]

HUMBOLDT, IA—After making sure to douse every home, farm, and business located in the municipality with gasoline, retreating Clinton campaign staffers reportedly set the central Iowa town of Humboldt ablaze Friday to stem the advance of Bernie Sanders volunteers. “Once we received word the Sanders campaign had begun canvassing in nearby Fort Dodge, we only had a matter of hours to burn everything to the ground,” said communications director Jennifer Palmieri, who tossed a lit torch through the window of the town’s hardware store before rushing over to help a group of Hillary for America workers erect a roadblock made of dead livestock to prevent all entrance to and exit from the city. “With so little time left before voting day, we simply can’t allow them to establish a foothold in this part of the state. Besides, you can’t convince anyone to caucus for Bernie Sanders if the civilian population is gone and all that’s left is smoldering rubble.” At press time, Clinton campaign staffers were spotted rigging a nearby bridge with C-4 as they hastily retreated to Algona.

http://www.theonion.com/article/retreating-clinton-campaign-torches-iowa-town-slow-52261

For those who're uninitiated, the onion is a humor site... sometimes political humor such as the above.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

1. This is hilarious, and actually a chance for both sides to get a laugh. nt

[Bubzer]

2. +1

[youceyec]

3. Good

BS supporters probably had a back up plan just for this kind of scenario but WHATEVER SLOWS HIM DOWN IS A GOOD THING!

[Hortensis]

4. Important right-wing sources reveal a secret email stash

Is now also believed to have been destroyed by the fire and lost forever. Indictments for the murder of Vince Foster are expected momentarily anyway.

[Electric Monk]

5. Did you know there is a town called Clinton, Iowa, Pop 27k?

(k&r)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinton,_Iowa