2016 Postmortem

Coyotl

(15,262 posts) Sat Oct 22, 2016, 08:51 AM Oct 2016

ONION: Trump Campaign Training Poll Watchers To Spot Any Suspicious Skin Colors On Election Day

Trump Campaign Training Poll Watchers To Spot Any Suspicious Skin Colors On Election Day

HARRISBURG, PA—Instructing volunteers to remain alert and pay close attention to every individual who arrives at their voting location, the “Trump Election Observer” section of Donald Trump’s campaign website reportedly trains supporters to spot any suspicious skin colors they may see on Election Day, sources confirmed this week. “Keep an eye out for any of the skin tones appearing on the list below, none of which are allowable on November 8,” read the webpage in part, reminding volunteers that watching out for certain suspect and disreputable complexions was the only way to ensure the Republican nominee had a fair shot at winning the election. “Be on the lookout for these two shades in particular, as they have historically proven to cause significant trouble. And remember that whenever you spot a dubious-looking skin pigmentation at your polling place, immediately confront the problem head-on.” The site further stated that should a volunteer happen to notice a significantly high number of suspicious skin colors at their precinct, they should call their local Trump field office immediately so the campaign could formally contest the polling location’s results.

Satire is always best when indistinguishable from the truth.

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