Al Howard (funny guy, musician, record store clerk) checks in (hilarious) on the election

[ghostsinthemachine]

I've been posting some of my friend Al Howard's musing over the years here on DU. He is a musician in a number of San Diego based bands, The Midnight Pine, The K3 Orchestra and others. He also is a record store clerk at a used record store on Ocean Beach (because he is an unknown musician). He is also a hysterical writer.
This is his latest.

It seems like unless we find out that Hillary Clinton murdered JonBenét Ramsey or she beheads Ellen on a live airing of her show while declaring her allegiance to Isis, she will become president of the United States of America. Shit, she might be able to do both of those things and still win, finally drawing to conclusion the most bizarre election until 2032’s Pauly Shore vs DMX in the famed Weasel vs Dog grudge match election, where campaign slogans like “Make America Black again”, “I was in Son in Law”, “Where my votes at nigga” and “Biodome 2? Lets!” are thrown around in the media. Sure Hillary Clinton is kinda like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wonder bread, without the peanut butter and absent of jelly, but Donald Trump is like a burrito, but instead of black beans, it’s dog doo, instead of cheese it’s Paris Hilton’s last call bile and instead of tortilla, it’s the skin of a child, and no one wants a child skin burrito, especially with no guacamole. I hope I haven’t jinxed this by making a somewhat declarative statement. I’m not thrilled with either candidate and I miss Bernie Sanders like I miss Deadwood, the 90s and Bill Hicks combined, but I’m pretty sure a Trump presidency would destroy the earth somehow and I’ve still never been to Yellowstone. But there was a point to this post I veered away from as I started contemplating DMX’s stance on immigration reform. Now that Trump has uncorked the hatred of a shaken up bottle of cheap Champagne, where does it all go. As much as I’ve managed to make light of his repulsive campaign, there’s a lot of stirred up venom and vitriol that’s been given new life. Because none of this ends election day. If anything, it begins. Beliefs don’t die easy, even when they are misaligned with the trajectory of our social evolution. But Donald Trump is a key step in our growth. Because he’s a conversation catalyst. We’re now talking about hard subjects that we reluctantly mention. I’ve had friends open up about abortions this week. We’re acknowledging our varying levels of islamophobia in a country built on immigration. Something as seemingly innocuous as the concept of “manterrupting” is on the table and it’s something I catch myself doing all the time that a woman once tried to make me aware of but I probably cut her off as she was telling me. We are the static and strife before a change. It was never supposed to be easy. So for now, I’ll enjoy the humor of hearing Donald trump say “nobody has more respect for women than I do.” I’ll laugh today, we’ll work tomorrow.

[ghostsinthemachine]

3. Monday bump (nt)

[SticksnStones]

4. I am sooo over the "I don't like either candidate" posts

Thinly disguised as a pro Hillary post.

Delete this nonsense.