Mike Pence: "That's not the Negan I've come to know"

[Miles Archer]

*****PLEASE DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN LAST NIGHT'S "WALKING DEAD" BECAUSE YES, THERE ARE SPOILERS*****

No link yet because I made it all up.

CNN OHIO - On a campaign stop earlier this morning, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence took a moment to discuss last night's Season 7 premiere of the AMC show "The Walking Dead."

"Look," he told reporters, "I know that we all witnessed some possibly inappropriate behavior last night, but I'm here to tell you that regardless of what Negan did on camera, this is not the man I have come to know. You can tell by his interactions with the Saviors that he is a family man, that family comes first, and that engaging in a little bit of inappropriate rough-housing certainly does not reflect who Negan is when I am with him. He is punctual, efficient, and keeps his word. You saw what happened when Daryl jumped him after he murdered Abraham. Didn't he tell Rick's crew that there would be consequences of such actions? And there were. He set a policy and followed it to the letter, just as President Trump and I will do when we are elected on November 8th."

Pence continued, "And regarding that scene when he dragged Rick into the RV. We have no idea of what fully happened inside, because there was no hot mic to pick up his off-the-cuff remarks. He could have offered Rick a cup of coffee or some words of encouragement. If you have two men in an RV, or a bus, or any other vehicle, and there is not a hot mic present, I don't think you have any reason to speculate or make false accusations. I've spoken with Negan, and he told me that if anyone was offended by his actions last night, he's truly sorry, and hopes this will not discourage anyone from allowing him to proceed with his long-range plans. He's a man who gets things done, unlike Hillary Clinton, who has accomplished nothing in her 30 years of alleged public service. We need a man in the White House like Negan...er, I mean, Donald Trump...who will end the corrupt system of politics as we know it and make America Great Again. Thank you."

Negan could not be reached for comment.

[DK504]

1. Brilliant

At least you can reason with Negan.