Obama's Best Jokes From His Gridiron Speech

[MindMover]

President Obama poked fun at the Washington press corps, Republicans, and himself at the annual Gridiron dinner. Here are some of the best jokes from his comedy routine:

On the sequester: "I know some of you have noticed that I'm dressed a little differently from the other gentlemen. Because of sequester, they cut my tails. My joke writers have been placed on furlough. I know a lot of you reported that no one will feel any immediate impact because of the sequester. Well, you're about to find out how wrong you are."

On Marco Rubio (after pausing to drink from a glass of water): "That, Marco Rubio, is how you take a sip of water."

On mixing up Star Wars and Star Trek references: "After a very public mix-up last week, my communications team has provided me with an easy way to distinguish between 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars.' Spock is what Maureen Dowd calls me. Darth Vader is what John Boehner calls me."

On Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward: "I know that some folks think we responded to Woodward too aggressively. But hey, when has -- can anybody tell me when an administration has ever regretted picking a fight with Bob Woodward? What's the worst that could happen? "

On his special someone: "Now I'm sure that you've noticed that there's somebody very special in my life who is missing tonight, somebody who has always got my back, stands with me no matter what and gives me hope no matter how dark things seem. So tonight, I want to publicly thank my rock, my foundation -- thank you, Nate Silver."

On his new administration: "With all these new faces, it's hard to keep track of who is in, who is out. And I know it's difficult for you guys as reporters. But I can offer you an easy way of remembering the new team. If Ted Cruz calls somebody a communist, then you know they're in my cabinet."

On Joe Biden: "Look, it's no secret that my Vice President is still ambitious. But let's face it, his age is an issue. Just the other day, I had to take Joe aside and say, 'Joe, you are way too young to be the pope.'"

http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2013/03/14/obamas-best-jokes-from-his-gridiron-speech.htm

Read full transcript here ; http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/barackobama/a/Obama-Gridiron-Speech-2013.htm

http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2013/03/14/obamas-best-jokes-from-his-gridiron-speech.htm

[Whisp]

1. These are great, thanks. n/t

[onestepforward]

2. I would love to see the video,

but I can't find one.

[lovemydog]

3. I'm pretty sure there's no video

since this is the dinner that's supposed to have no reporting. I think there's another dinner later in the year that is similar and does get on video. Can't recall what it's called. Hope that helps a bit.

[onestepforward]

4. That's what I thought.

Thanks for confirming it! I think it's the Correspondents' Dinner that has video.

[lovemydog]

5. Yes, that's it!

& you're welcome.

[hack89]

6. "thank you, Nate Silver."

do you think Nate's star can't ascend any higher?

[Paulie]

7. Awesome!

All were excellent!

[4_TN_TITANS]

8. Too young to be the Pope....