Sheldon Adelson Says No Republican Candidate Worth Buying (Borowitz Report :-) )

[hue]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/03/sheldon-adelson-says-no-republican-candidate-worth-buying.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz+%2853%29

Sheldon Adelson met several 2016 G.O.P. candidates available for purchase over the weekend, but decided to buy none of them, Adelson confirmed today.

After hearing speeches by Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, and several others who were for sale, Mr. Adelson concluded that none of them are worth owning.

“I don’t want to spend millions on another loser,” said Adelson, who purchased both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney in 2012.

[handmade34]

1. especially with a

no returns policy...

[Earth Bound Misfit]

2. *ROFLSNICKER*

“a third-rate grab bag of has-beens and dimwits.”

[flamingdem]

3. leeeewsers

[Gothmog]

4. I love good satire

[Cal33]

5. Adelson has some sense, at least --all business sense, of course.

[eppur_se_muova]

6. He'll buy several, and see which one works out. He can afford it.

Deciding what to do with a mere $100 million doesn't really even qualify as an important decision for him.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

7. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?

Or at a very reduced cost.

Sure it's satire, but it strikes pretty close to the truth.

[polichick]

8. lol - so true!