Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumThere's still time to prepare for the : "2012 State of the Union Drinking Game"
Will Durst
2012 State of the Union Drinking Game
By Will Durst | January 23rd, 2012
What you need to play:
Four taxpayers: One white, Wall Street type in full suit and yellow power tie (MBA Guy); two ordinary folks sporting jeans, one in blue work shirt, other in white shirt (the Jeans); and one person wearing clothes that look like they were used for floor covering at a tire-changing shop for a minimum of three months, with belt, shoelaces, socks and underwear confiscated (Rags). Except for MBA Guy, game is non-gender or race specific.
One large screen HDTV tuned to speech. 42-inch or larger. Game played behind coffee table three feet away.
One regulation shot glass per person. Everybody brings own, placing it on coffee table. MBA Guy gets first choice among assembled. White shirt picks next, then blue shirt. MBA Guy takes last shot glass as well, and Rags either rents it from him, finds a replacement or drinks out of own cupped hands.
Everybody antes up 20 bucks. Cash. Except MBA Guy, who tosses in hand-made voucher. Preferably crayon.
Two packages Litl Smokies in bowl with favorite BBQ sauce.
One package round toothpicks.
One bottle small-batch Kentucky bourbon.
Two six-packs beer apiece. Rags gets whatever is on sale, i.e. Heilemans Old Style Ice Dry Light. MBA Guy gets choice of import. The Jeans get domestic, and must go to store to purchase and carry provisions.
Rules of the game:
1. As soon as president says State of the Union is good, but could be better, last person to eat three Litl Smokies on toothpicks has to drink three shots of beer.
2. Every time Barack H. Obama says compromise, first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking two shot glasses of beer.
3. If either Vice President Biden or House Speaker Boehner gets caught napping on camera, last person to sing Wake Up, Little Susie drinks four shots of beer.
4. Whenever Mr. Obama says word jobs, everybody drinks shot of beer. If he hits 10, throw used toothpicks at TV and first to stick one within outline of his face doesnt have to drink two shots of bourbon.
5. If Chief Executive winks and/or points at Michelle, all four players blow kisses. Drink shot of beer for every generals star sitting within two seats of First Lady.
6. When Obama speaks about sacrifices made by our brave troops, last one to leap to attention and salute must drink shots of beer for entire duration of standing ovation.
7. Every time Barack uses phrase offshore banking accounts, clasp a Litl Smokie between the teeth and swordfight others. Losers drink 3 shots of beer and eat sausages. Winner can spit his out.
8. Whenever Obama makes reference to faith getting him through tough times, last person to fall to knees and shout Hallelujah! drinks shot of bourbon.
9. If president relates touching heartfelt story of somebody denied health care, Rags gets to kick everybody else once. Twice, if subject of anecdote is in audience. Three times, if he/she is sitting next to astronaut.
10. When Barack H. Obama mentions bipartisanship, last person to pretend to faint drinks three shots of beer.
2. Every time Barack H. Obama says compromise, first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking two shot glasses of beer.
3. If either Vice President Biden or House Speaker Boehner gets caught napping on camera, last person to sing Wake Up, Little Susie drinks four shots of beer.
4. Whenever Mr. Obama says word jobs, everybody drinks shot of beer. If he hits 10, throw used toothpicks at TV and first to stick one within outline of his face doesnt have to drink two shots of bourbon.
5. If Chief Executive winks and/or points at Michelle, all four players blow kisses. Drink shot of beer for every generals star sitting within two seats of First Lady.
6. When Obama speaks about sacrifices made by our brave troops, last one to leap to attention and salute must drink shots of beer for entire duration of standing ovation.
7. Every time Barack uses phrase offshore banking accounts, clasp a Litl Smokie between the teeth and swordfight others. Losers drink 3 shots of beer and eat sausages. Winner can spit his out.
8. Whenever Obama makes reference to faith getting him through tough times, last person to fall to knees and shout Hallelujah! drinks shot of bourbon.
9. If president relates touching heartfelt story of somebody denied health care, Rags gets to kick everybody else once. Twice, if subject of anecdote is in audience. Three times, if he/she is sitting next to astronaut.
10. When Barack H. Obama mentions bipartisanship, last person to pretend to faint drinks three shots of beer.
Extras:
Before speech, everyone writes down who they think is giving Republican response. Anybody who correctly identifies person doesnt have to watch.
MBA Guy takes home all the money and the Jeans pay off voucher.
Leftover bourbon, beer and Litl Smokies go home with Rags after he/she washes dishes in front of TV.
The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today. Check out the website: Redroom.com to buy his book or find out more about upcoming stand-up performances. Or willdurst.com. Or dont.
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
3 replies, 1770 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (3)
ReplyReply to this post
3 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
There's still time to prepare for the : "2012 State of the Union Drinking Game" (Original Post)
Mira
Jan 2012
OP
Enrique
(27,461 posts)1. that's pretty funny
Atman
(31,464 posts)2. The rules are too complicated.
I think I'll just get shit-faced and scream at the teevee. IOW, pretty much like a normal night watching MSNBC.
.
JNelson6563
(28,151 posts)3. #9 is my favorite