Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumA Clarification from Mitt Romney - (it's about poor people) as told by Andy Borowitz
LA JOLLA, CA (The Borowitz Report) Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today released the following letter to the American people:
Dear American People:
Yesterday, comments I made about poor people made me look terrible. This always seems to happen when I say what I really believe.
The fact is, I do care about poor people. Thats because Im poor myself, when you compare me to Mark Zuckerberg.
According to most projections, Facebooks IPO should net Mr. Zuckerberg a personal fortune of $28 billion. I couldnt make a pile of dough-re-mi like that even if I fired people twenty-four hours a day.
Now, lets take a look at Mitt Romneys net worth: a measly $200 million. Now do you see why I consider myself poor? Compared to Mark Zuckerberg, Mitt Romney is practically a crack whore.
Now, Im not going to sit here and envy a rich person like Mark Zuckerberg. Thats exactly what President Obama wants poor people like me to do. Mark Zuckerberg made his money fair and square, by creating useful products like imaginary sheep and angry birds. Say what you will about Facebook, it has totally revolutionized the way we waste our lives.
The fact is, if youre poor in America, you should do what Mark Zuckerberg did: create a social network. Ive just started my own, called TwoFaceBook. With TwoFaceBook, your profile doesnt stay the same for more than two seconds.
In closing, theres one more reason I dont worry about poor people. They have Groupons.
Vote for me,
Mitt Romney
www.borowitzreport.com
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
5 replies, 1782 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (9)
ReplyReply to this post
5 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
A Clarification from Mitt Romney - (it's about poor people) as told by Andy Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Feb 2012
OP
liberal N proud
(60,334 posts)1. LOL
BillyV123
(26 posts)2. Trump endorses Romney BECAUSE...
...he heard Romney actually HAD...BARACK'S REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE!
Romney Ads Slam 1 Adulterer While He Kisses The Ass Of Another! Thoughts at 3 A.M. And Now, A Word From An Asshole! http://thoughtsatthreeam.blogspot.com/?spref=tw
classof56
(5,376 posts)3. Andy scores again!
K, R and a big
tabatha
(18,795 posts)4. TwoFaceBook LOL
I do believe Borowitz has coined an apt phrase word for Romney.
JNelson6563
(28,151 posts)5. lolz "Mitt Romney is practically a crack whore."
rock on Andy!