Music for pre-teen girls

[gollygee]

Do you remember the music you listened to when you were that age?

I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but my daughter is really into One Direction. When I listen to the music, the theme of the songs generally seems to be: "You have really low self-esteem, and that's awesome."

One is called "You Don't Know You're Beautiful", which on its own didn't bother me, though it does have that theme, but the new one is this kind of stuff:

I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you’re perfect to me

I talked to my daughter about why I don't like these lyrics, and she said she doesn't really like that particular song (Little Things) anyway.

I just wish there were songs for pre-teen girls that were empowering and wouldn't make her already worry about squeezing into jeans. Does anyone else have a daughter this age? Can you recommend music that is empowering AND that they'll consider cool?

[Stargazer09]

1. I wish I could help

My daughter is 13, and One Direction is her favorite band at the moment. I'm not sure she's even listening to the lyrics. She just enjoys the music and how "hot" the boys look.

[seabeyond]

4. and this is a really good point. i have always been into music and i do not listen to words

my bad. i am all about the beat and rhythm of the music. dancing. letting it get inside and feeling the music. i spend more time making up the words to the song.

my 15 yr old teen gave me an mp3 player for christmas. put old and new bands on. he picked out wonderful music for me. they find empowering music for me that is more rebellious. i will have to listen again and come up with the bands.

[Stargazer09]

28. I think it depends

On the song and the music. Sometimes, the lyrics are what move me, and other times, it's just the music.

It's wonderful that your son gave you such a great gift!

[seabeyond]

30. i was surprised. then realizing he had picked out the music was great. boys and hubby knows what i

like better than i do. i never remember names of titles and artists so really hard. they remember for me.

[gollygee]

10. Music is my daughter's hobby

Specifically singing and piano. So she does listen to words. I wish she didn't.

[Stargazer09]

29. I understand

Like I said, I wish I could help.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

2. A humorous thought...

...If you can stand anything a little country is "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks.

Apologies for the theme.

[seabeyond]

5. i have to listen to that group, just cause they stood up and spoke out. i havent.

i kinda stay away from country. but i hear they are not so much the whine, drinking beer, heart broken country.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

6. Have a link

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dixiechicks/goodbyeearl.html

[seabeyond]

9. i have read what these women think about politics. what happened to them.

just an over all feel of them, and they are certainly strong, vocal women. why i enjoy them so. BUT, i have never listened to their music.

firstly, what a fuckin' twang. lol. how fun is that

but... earls gotta die. lol. these women do not mess around.

bet they are still in trouble with the fan of country base with this song.

thanks. that was really fun. they are as vocal in song as they are in RL

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

13. My wife loves that song.

You're welcome.

[seabeyond]

15. does she pick moments to blurt out in song... earls gotta die... ??

lol

i do that with different songs. one is, when i am impatient, wasted days and wasted nights, i spent lovin' you....

i dont know why i do this, but i do. anyway, years ago, hubby said he didnt appreciate it. sounded like i was talking about my marriage. lmfao. i had never thought about that. so i stopped. but every once in a while i still belt out that song. my oldest son will call me on it. again, lmao. my youngest will giggle.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

18. yes, at times

I'm okay with that as long she doesn't refer to me as her first husband.

[seabeyond]

19. so so funny. that is too cute. thanks discntnt. nt

[seabeyond]

3. my boys were pulling out music from todays artists for me to listen to. there was one band that

seemed to feed into that. i remember with that band specifically i told sons that i did not like it because it seemed to play the darkness of insecurity and pains... and teens have enough they are dealing with, they do not need to morosely be in that shit. i do not remember the band

[Helen Reddy]

7. I offer this.

Graphic warning:

The lyrics are inconsequential, but the imagry is amazing and not-so-subtle.

Dedicated to young ladies everywhere who have been perved upon.

ps. Once again, graphic imagry warning, please sensor before showing to your young daughters.

[seabeyond]

11. wow wow wow. lol

wasnt that fuckin' interesting. wow. lol

what was this all about, but, in all its oddity i really liked it.

[redqueen]

8. Maybe Pink?

It's pretty rough. Culture is what it is, so even most female artists reflect what they see all around them.

What I did is just let them listen to whatever they and their friends like, and used lyrics as teachable moments.

It's sad, cause those lyrics to that you don't know you're beautiful song are so messed up.

It reminds me of the part in that Ways of Seeing program, where he talked about how men make a woman's looks the most important thing about her, then criticize her for 'vanity' if she happens to meet their desired ideal.

It's important that she turns heads, is beautiful, etc... but heaven forbid she is aware of doing so, cause that's bad and... makes her... ugly?

[seabeyond]

12. stupid girls. a very favorite.

[redqueen]

14. Yep, and also Most Girls.

[seabeyond]

16. i hadnt heard that one.

i watched the video first, then read the words.

all about strength

very good. very powerful. i love strength in the physical... along side of within.

thanks.

[ismnotwasm]

17. Too long ago for me

Little girls get crushes ala Justin Bieber.

I was teasing my grandson about wanting to be like him--- he's an awesome guitar player for a 13
year old and thinks he's going to be a rock star, so he made me listen to one of Biebers songs.

He got his revenge.


I just googled it, and couldn't find anything that wasn't ABOUT sexism in music. I'll keep looking

[seabeyond]

20. my youngest had real issues with beiber and twilight in middle school a couple years ago

they were big, working to the girls, shirtless on twilight and the girls all over it. the boys had a HUGE issue with it in middle school. the time when that crap matters because they are at the puberty age. the boys did not like it at all. also was a peek into what they give girls. was an interesting time for us in conversation.

[Helen Reddy]

21. Not to toot my daughters horn but...

She will be 13 in a few days, and has had her own feminist blog for nearly 3 years now. She really could care less about Justin Bieber, or the newest boy-be-cute dujour. Her eye for clarity in the world surrounding us is to be admired and blows me away time and time again.

She will be a good voice for standing up for women's equality, yet she also understands we seem to be fighting for things we have had in the past, ie Roe v. Wade.

[gollygee]

22. I'm glad to hear that

I hope my daughter gets more critical as well. She doesn't like Justin Bieber at all. She takes a lot of music lessons, so she listens to a lot of show tunes (which can be problematic sometimes too) and classical music (and of that, the music with lyrics is often in languges she doesn't understand anyway.) But she also listens to some pop music, such as One Direction, which she loves.

I know the music I listened to when I was her age was at least as bad. I guess I should just keep talking to her about it so she learns to question these types of lyrics on her own.

It's just a bummer to hear her listening to music with a message like "You don't like yourself and that's why I like you."

[Helen Reddy]

23. With you as her parent,

she will do very well in her life. She sounds observant and already shows great capacity to "question".

[ismnotwasm]

24. That is completely awesome

I have a lot of faith in young people; I don't like the way they're depicted as shallow or self-centered. That's so often NOT the case and I love to hear about things like this.

[Helen Reddy]

26. I have faith

in many of the young folks, especially girls. However, very concerned about so much sexuality everywhere we turn. Sex sells hamburgers, cars, insurance, you name it. By "sex" I mean scantily clad young women (typically).

Thank you for your kind response.

[seabeyond]

25. a blast. i have often thought i would screw up a daughter. lol. i do much better with boys.

BUT... i have nieces, two different disinterested moms for different reasons that i have had to step up and parent. thru their teens is when i would think that man, damn good thing i had boys. now, one is 24 and one 20 and they talk to me and blow me the fuck away, literally. i do happy dances. these girls are so grounded and vocal and clear in what they are saying, they are all feminist. though i do not know if they would take the titles. expectation how how society and men should treat them.

i can say, i am very proud. teenage on one of them, i was very worried.

[Helen Reddy]

27. Oh seabeyond.

I have very little doubt you would have made an excellent mom to girls. You are a fantastic human being and a great role model here at DU to younger would-be feminists.