Rantings of an Aboriginal Feminist

[ismnotwasm]

This a cool blog from an Austrailian Aboriginal. I'm always looking for viewpoints, and this woman is very insightful.

Turning 35 and the quandaries of reproductive "choice"
(This piece was initially featured in a zine from the "Campaign for Women's Reproductive Rights Melbourne" published in March 2013. For further information on the group or how to obtain a copy of the Zine which features a number of other pieces on Reproductive Rights, please check out their page on Facebook, or via Twitter @CWRRmelbourne

Turning 35 for me is now not even two months away, and with the amount of things attached to this age when you're a woman, I'm both excited and apprehensive. You see, I remember sitting around when we were teenagers at high school, talking about sex as teenagers do. We had been told, for example, that whilst our male classmates were currently hitting their sexual peak, women hit theirs in their mid-30s. I'm fairly certain that a good portion of that knowledge is complete fallacy that may or may not have had something to do with discouraging teenage girls from having sex by perpetuating myths that they simply wouldn't enjoy it until they were much older, but I'm no sexologist. One thing that I do know is that 35 was always explained to us pretty much as “ground zero” as far as a woman's fertility goes. From here onwards biological findings state that it decreases at a much more rapid rate making it more and more difficult to conceive, even with assistance. Additionally, there is more of a chance that the egg a woman beyond 35 ovulates will have autosomal abnormalities so the chances of having a miscarriage are higher.



I've never given having children a serious amount of thought, and all of a sudden, as I get closer and closer to this magic number, I'm supposed to be taking the whole idea a lot more seriously and I don't even know where to begin. I've always been ambivalent about having children, and whilst I have been told by far too many people that I have a natural nurturing side, I haven't necessarily felt a need to channel that nurturing in to children of my own. Yet at this point in time I am feeling an extraordinary amount of pressure to become less ambivalent about child-bearing, whether it's from society wondering what the hell a 35 year old woman is doing showing no signs of settling down, or family who have taken it upon themselves to make comments on my childlessness. Honestly, as part of an Indigenous Australian family I thought I may be buffered from this a bit due to the fact that culturally I'm already a mother, and a grandmother, but apparently I am missing out on something huge, or so I've been told, and I won't be complete if I don't have children. Yep, even with kinship at play, it still seems to be rather unthinkable that an Aboriginal woman hasn't given having her own children much thought.



Additionally, I have been pregnant once, and am already down a fallopian tube because of it (so knock another 20% off my soon to be plummeting fertility). That traumatic experience gave me a bit of a reality check about the less publicised side of pregnancy; what can, and occasionally does, go wrong. Plus it left me, at a most critical junction of my life (as I had just left a long-term relationship only 3 weeks earlier), completely and utterly powerless to make any sort of choice at all on my pregnancy. I couldn't choose to continue on and face the task of being a sole parent head on, nor could I choose to terminate and just rebuild my life as a single woman. The choice was gone. Honestly, I would have hoped that those family members and friends who knew that I went through this would perhaps lay off the “when are you having a baby” talk, but they haven't and if anything it has made them seek “solutions” for me just in case. Everything from sperm donation to IVF have been suggested. If anything, I think my history makes it all the more urgent in their minds.

http://blackfeministranter.blogspot.com.au/

[niyad]

1. k and r

[Bonobo]

2. Yes. It is a rant with little point. nt

[ismnotwasm]

3. *sigh*

[MadrasT]

4. ...said a person who has never had to contemplate pregnancy.

[Bonobo]

5. Yes, it is completely irrelevant to a husband.

My wife living or dying in childbirth is COMPLETELY irrelevant to me.

I never gave it a single thought.

[MadrasT]

6. Not the same, never will be, and I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you over it. n/t

[Bonobo]

7. Me neither.

But my opinion of the 4 paragraphs posted has nothing to do with it.

The piece is a long-winded bore with very little point except a verbalization of her concerns of getting pregnant.

All I said was that it was about very little and I wish to add that it is boring and overwritten. It is a blog post.

[boston bean]

8. Don't like what is posted here? Stop visiting.

easy peasy.

[Bonobo]

9. I commented on a post.

Big deal.

Try taking a pill if you're overwrought and stressed out, BB.

[boston bean]

10. Bonobo was blocked from the group.

for this particular post:

9. I commented on a post.

Big deal.

Try taking a pill if you're overwrought and stressed out, BB.

Reasoning for group members:

It's disruptive to the group to assign emotions to members in this group, that are just untrue and are unfounded. It was a personal attack.

[hlthe2b]

11. Why some can not come here and politely express a counter opinion just escapes me.

But, the only conclusion one can form from those who do not is that their entire motive is to disrupt. sigh...

[ismnotwasm]

13. Good.

While I don't pay much attention to that particular poster, I want to point this out;

What I found interesting about that particular blog entry, and the reason I posted it was this POV;
(bold is mine)

Honestly, as part of an Indigenous Australian family I thought I may be buffered from this a bit due to the fact that culturally I'm already a mother, and a grandmother but apparently I am missing out on something huge, or so I've been told, and I won't be complete if I don't have children. Yep, even with kinship at play, it still seems to be rather unthinkable that an Aboriginal woman hasn't given having her own children much thought.

In the thread I started about Helen Mirrim's choice to be child free , a very good discussion evolved about the pressure's American Women feel to have children, with shared experiences from a quite a number of people as it made the greatest page. It saddens me (to say the least) to see the the viewpoint of a Aboriginal woman of color trivialized, for expressing her opinion. Given the history of Aboriginal Australians, I would expect far better from anyone. ANYONE.

[BainsBane]

14. I fail to understand

what was so objectionable or controversial about that blog entry.

When I find something troubling, I at least say why. Some seem to simply dump all their anger in a post without explaining what their point of disagreement is.

[ismnotwasm]

15. Just stirring it up I think.

I got involved in GD for more than I usually do because of it though.

I like feminist viewpoints from all over the world and from different cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. It's irritating to see them dismissed. Especially with histories like this ( articles is 3 years old)

JANUARY 2, 2010 12:07PM
The Abuse of Aboriginal Women In Australia

From 1909 to 1969, it was the official policy of the Australian government to forcibly remove the mixed race children of single Aboriginal women - many of whom were conceived by rape. The children were placed in orphanages and with church welfare groups, until the '50's when placement with white families became more mainstream. The justification for the policy was that Aboriginal women were incapable of raising their children properly. These children are now called the Stolen Generations.

The Aboriginal Protection Act took an estimated 1 in 10 Aboriginal children away from their single mothers. It was far less common for children from two parent families to be removed. No court order or allegations of neglect were needed - if the child had white blood, it was possible to breed the aboriginality out*. Although on the surface this appears primarily an issue of racism, the blanket assumption that Aboriginal women were incapable of raising their children alone was as intrinsically misogynistic as it was incorrect. And not much has changed.

Today in some remote Australian communities, statistics show that Indigenous women are 45 times more likely to be a victim of domestic violence than non-Indigenous women. In my state alone, Aboriginal women are 10 times more likely to be a victim of sexual assault than women of other races and are much less inclined to report sexual violence. Past policy has created an atmosphere of mistrust and segregation that pervades the entire Indigenous community, but women in particular.

In 2008, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the Aboriginal people for the crimes committed against them. The prior government introduced wide scale alcohol and pornography bans for remote communities in the hope of ending the violence and sexual abuse of Indigenous women and children. It hasn't worked and it will continue to fail until the Australian government becomes serious about change, and begins to listen to what Aboriginal people want for themselves.

http://open.salon.com/blog/natalie_b/2009/12/30/on_misogyny_doin_it_backwards_and_in_high_heels


I think he saw a women talking about not bearing a child, decided to toss out some trouble and missed the larger point I was trying to make.

[BainsBane]

16. I don't see why he should care about

women who don't want to have children. I find it very odd.

[ismnotwasm]

17. I don't think he does care

It was an odd move on his part.

[JTFrog]

12. GFY.

Good For You.

Your talent for insulting women and dropping divisive turds in the punch bowl is finally paying off.