Street Harassment: Is a Man Running Over a 14-Year Old Girl for Refusing Sex Serious Enough?

[redqueen]

Trigger warning.




Soraya Chemaly is one of my favorite people.

Me, again. Time for another, "please take street harassment seriously" post.

Earlier this week a man in a car pulled up next to a 14-year old girl on a street in Florida and offered to pay her $200 to have sex with him. Some people would say that's a compliment. It's part of being out in society, learning to deal with people, navigating relationships between men and women. Or, at least that what many commenters on articles I write about street harassment think. That or maybe they're thinking, "She must have looked like a prostitute," and well, you know.

...

We hear about cases like this with dulling regularity and, undoubtedly, we don't hear about even more. Just a smattering of examples:

- In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.

- In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request.

- In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.

- Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.

- In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.

- In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.

- Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.

...

As Holly Kearl, founder of Stop Street Harassment and author of the new book 50 Stories About Stopping Street Harassers, puts it, in her tireless crusade to make people pay attention:

While public harassment motivated by racism, homophobia, transphobia, or classism -- types of deplorable harassment which men can be the target of and sometimes women perpetrate -- is recognized as socially unacceptable behavior, men's harassment of women motivated by gender and sexism is not. In reality, like other forms of harassment, street harassment is bullying behavior motivated by power and disrespect.

...

Street harassment is serious because it is a symptom of much deeper problems having to do with civic life, public life and people's rights to privacy, autonomy, violence and safety. But, as is clear as the noses on our faces, it's also often dangerous in and of itself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/street-harassment-is-runn_b_4004394.html

[DURHAM D]

2. not even remotely funny

[seabeyond]

3. wow. why dont you self delete. offensive in too many ways. nt

[ismnotwasm]

4. Of course not

Remember "that's the way things are, other assault victims and what about the men" blah blah blah...

Plus she shouldn't have been walking there, it's her fault-we don't know the whole story-there's no such thing as rape culture-the majority murder victims are men what about the men and just in case, what about the men-it's natural to "lust" after 14 years old so it's natural to run them over because biology.

Bullshit piled on top of bullshit piled on top of bullshit.

[seabeyond]

5. ya. it is exhausting. i tell you. all the way back to our unevolved self of the 60's, 70's, 80's,

men were not thinking and saying this bullshit. all that, just being a men was not a concept developed yet. it is odd. there was sexism, but it was not like it is today. today it is the redefining a man in such a manner that is all about dominate and control, verbally and story telling. whereas back then it was male dominance and control simply as the way it was.

(ya, this is messy, just thoughts being put out)

it is like the men could be "benevolent" to women because they just were superior. smarter. more capable.

now that men are no longer "just superior. smarter. more capable.", they are trying to force it to work thru the media, social media, aggressive, controlling, violent porn and domination in other manners in such an in our face way. to gain all that back. cause they lost the control of the woman staying at home, out of the work force, no expectations on the man to be more.

ya know.

it is uglier now, in ways.

same thing. just uglier.

[ismnotwasm]

6. And stupider

And as much as I'd love to as stupid never wins we know that's unfortunately not true.

On the other hand, I take great joy in being a feminist influence on my kids and their friends and their kids.

[NuclearDem]

7. What rape culture?

[BlueToTheBone]

8. My beautiful young niece lives in a large city and rides her bike alot

one day as she was riding, a guy stepped out from the sidewalk and slapped her as she rode by. I have to say, I love her freedom and life but I am terrified of the terrible dangers in living as a single woman in a big city. She works nights and for awhile she was riding her bike late at night. That was really hard not to freak out. Now she has a car and is much safer.

[seabeyond]

9. wow. so many stories i have heard on du... not to mention, personally experienced.

but never anything so physically violent.

[BlueToTheBone]

10. I know. It seems to be "the thing" to do

there. She says it happens to a lot of people, but that is horrible. I have nightmares for her. She has angels all around her and seems to be unafraid.

[JoeyT]

11. Quite a bit more serious than you'd think would be necessary to get people to acknowledge it.

The progression of harassers targeting their victim seems to be a lot like extreme sports junkies. They have to ramp up the harassment because what they were doing before isn't giving them the same thrill. That's why even the most innocuous seeming harassment isn't really so innocent: Because it's a stepping stone to bigger and nastier things.

[hue]

12. These assaults Are about deep, basic misogynous/hatred for women.

It is a rudimentary ingredient in almost all religions, corporations, governments, institutions (including all modes of media outlets) & pundit mental templates.

[seabeyond]

14. why, though??? i ask seriously. hatred is manifested from fear. wtf is all this fear men live in.

that is what i am looking for. that is what i want to know. why the fear. where does it come from

raising boys, i did not see any development of it or a reason for it. seeing how the majority of abuse, torture and death come from the hands of men excuted on women, one would think that that hate/fear would be an over all feeling of what women feel about men. but there is not that. there may be fear of individual men. but not an over all fear/hate of men.

so why this hate?

[hue]

17. Here are some stats: Men tend to rape young women--who have never threatened them

http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html

Fact #1: Over 22 million women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

Fact #2: 18.3% of women in the United States have survived a completed or attempted rape. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

Fact #3: Of the 18.3% of women who have survived rape or attempted rape, 12.3% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped, and 29.9% were between the ages of 11 and 17. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

Fact #4: Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)

Fact #5: One out of every five American women has been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. (The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)Fact #6: Approximately 1,270,000 women are raped each year. Another 6,646,000 are victims of other sexual crime, including sexual coercion, unwanted sexual contact, or unwanted sexual experiences. (Department of Justice 2010).

Fact #7: 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12; 29% are age 12-17; 44% are under age 18; 80% are under age 30; ages 12-34 are the highest risk years. (Department of Justice 2010)

Fact #8: Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. (Department of Justice 2010)

Fact #9: Most female victims are raped before the age of 25, and almost half of female victims are under the age of 18. (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010). Fact #10: Females ages 12 to 24 are at the greatest risk for experiencing a rape or sexual assault. (Department of Justice 2001)....

[Bernardo de La Paz]

13. Below the level of violence, many men just don't get the relentlessness of harassment

[seabeyond]

15. a favorite. a fuckin' favorite. we had a thread on this cartoon a couple years ago.

the number of men that came on the thread and blatantly told women this does not happen. they have never seen it. so it means it does not happen.

cant be that the men are immune to it, that it could happen right in front of their face, but is insignificant to them so the can honestly say it does not happen.

didnt matter that the strong, almost complete majority of women have said the experienced it from young teens thru out life.

simply... it does not exist.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Shit I'm a grandma and it still happens to me.

I'm thinking of gaining more weight as an asshole buffer.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

18. Don't gain weight. Wear pillows! :P

[ismnotwasm]

20. Heh!

[seabeyond]

19. twice in a couple days. now, they are still a decade and two older than me. would never be a man

my age. so it is really putting them as old farts. but... fuckin twice in a couple days.

the first cornered me and i was stuck there.

the second rounded on me and started the game. before filtering i asked increduously... you hitting on me???? shocked the shit out of me the aggressiveness of his tall frame, approaching me, hitting on me at the same time, in a fuckin business. from there it went down hill. and resorted to him hurling insults at me.

odd, odd. so fuckin odd.

how dare i let him know i was really not appreciating or in the mood for his game.

[hue]

21. bottom line I don't think this is about sex. Think it's about power>that they can do what they want

It's about acting on their fantasies-->using us/females through a sexual modus operandi as as objects of control & power gratification.


If they really wanted just/pure sexual gratification they would develop a relationship with a partner and experience physical intimacy. But no, this is not simply about sex.

[seabeyond]

22. you are correct of course. and most of us recognize this. then the men like to pretend

otherwise once they are called on it. but no. there is nothing about it that is complimentary. it is all about them and their ownership of a woman. fuck that shit.

[hue]

23. "fuck that shit" Ditto!

[redqueen]

24. Intimacy? That's for *girls*.

Modern manly men like porny sex with wimminz who accept that men are dominant!

(sarcasm... mostly)

[hue]

25. Actually not so "manly" if they can't get it up with an equal partner--just sayin'

I know your response is mostly sarcasm, yet for anyone who reads this thread: someone who always likes sex or can only have sex with someone who accepts that they are dominant is a very insecure person.

[BainsBane]

33. no question about it

They are trying to compensate for their own sense of powerlessness and insecurity.

[BainsBane]

29. It works

That's why so many survivors of childhood sexual abuse are overweight.

[orpupilofnature57]

26. This is a story about schizophrenic rapists.

[redqueen]

28. No, it's an article about street harassment.

Perhaps you need to read it again.

[underthematrix]

27. I thought 14 was still defined as a minor

[ismnotwasm]

30. That stops nobody

People who are going to harass women-or girls aren't going to ask permission first.

[seabeyond]

31. you will hear women after women tell this story. most of us experienced this starting about 12. ya,

that would be well under age.

[ismnotwasm]

32. 12 is right

It was a friend of my fathers, so go figure. He didn't recognize me I suppose.

[BainsBane]

34. 10 yrs, in my case

I guess because I developed early.