DOOR!

[sufrommich]

Sorry,couldn't resist.

Recent research out of Purdue University suggests that many men experience lower self-esteem after having a door held open for them (particularly if the door holder is another man — sorry, ladies, I was jumping the gun before) because they either a.) feel feminized or b.) think that the door-opener is suggesting that they're too weak to do it themselves....



There is a down side to "seemingly innocuous but unexpected helping behavior that violates gender norms," Purdue University psychologists Megan McCarty and Janice Kelly write in the journal Social Influence. Their results suggest even a simple act of kindness can convey a negative message—He thinks I'm weak!—which can lead to increased self-doubt.

For their research, McCarty and Kelly observed 196 people as they entered a building on campus. A male member of the research team accompanied each unwitting subject as they approached the door. With half the subjects, the male researcher got a few steps ahead and held open the door for the person behind him. With the other half, he would enter the adjacent door at roughly the same time, not interacting with the subject at all....

For the most part, there was no notable difference between the women who had had the door held for them and the women who opened the door for themselves. Male participants who had had the door opened for them, however, reported much lower self-esteem than those who didn't.

http://jezebel.com/looking-to-emasculate-a-man-open-his-door-for-him-1530071133


My favorite comment from the article:
I'm not freaked out by a woman holding a door for me, but I am horrendously terrified walking beside someone you don't know while heading for the same door, that causes a ton of stress in my life. Should I hurry up to get there first then hold it open? Is that weird? What if I drop back a step or two? Will they open it for me? How thankful should I be? What if someone is coming out and the door is already open? Should I say after you? Or maybe just do that sweeping arm half-gesture? Should I take off at a dead sprint to open up a gap? What if there are two layers of doors? If I go in first should I hold open the second set? What if I let you in first, should I expect the second set to be help? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[sufrommich]

1. I have a request from Seabeyond to add this,I quote:

"ba ha ha ha ha."

[arcane1]

2. Who are these idiots?

Jeez, it's a freakin' door. Maybe I'm just accustomed to it- the one who gets to the door first usually holds it. Gender doesn't even enter into it.

Some people must have very fragile self-esteem.

[sufrommich]

3. I agree,most people will open

the door for the person behind them. I think opening the door for "the weaker sex" went the way of the fedora and the girdle.

[Blue_Adept]

8. It must be the location?

It makes no sense. Over my 43 years, I've had many an opportunity to hold doors open for others at all sorts of events that I was going through to myself, and men, women, kids... everyone holds doors open for each other and have for quite a long time. I've never seen anything untoward about it, whether at a store, the movies, school events... It's like they must be searching these kinds of people out or are just lucky enough to find them each time.

[UtahLib]

4. I think I saw the post that inspired your OP.

It seems to be a favorite derailing tactic. Makes me wonder if their might be a surgical procedure for removing a door from ones' craw.

[sufrommich]

5. Lol. nt

[longship]

6. I generally hold a door open for anybody who is close behind me.

It's just the polite thing to do. When somebody holds a door for me, I say, "Thank you."

[sufrommich]

7. Yep, I think most people do the same. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. it is just the humane thing to do for another human.

Gender has nothing to do with it. We are in the 21st century, right?

oh yeah ...

and

Doors!

[longship]

17. That's my reading of it. Indeed! nt

[geek tragedy]

9. saw this on FB/raw story on posted in GD

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024562555

[Sarah Ibarruri]

11. I have never been one to let the door crash into anyone's face, so I always keep the door open

to avoid that.

I'll continue to do it - I don't care what anyone says, I'm not about to let a door slap anyone in the face. It's just simple politeness and kindness, and we are supposed to live in civil society, so it makes perfect sense to hold doors open for others.

[redqueen]

12. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

BWAAAAHahahahahahahaha!

[Squinch]

18. I'm dying over here!!!

[RBStevens]

19. ...

[BainsBane]

24. I need that.

I want to post it everywhere. Can I? I'll give you credit. I probably can't wait for permission. Okay, I already posted it once, but I want to post it another time.

[RBStevens]

26. It's all yours - do with it what you will.

[BainsBane]

27. Good. I'm up to three now

I do site my source. Footnotes are everything.

[Squinch]

28. I think it should be posted whenever the subject comes up!

[BainsBane]

29. Agree

Do you want to do the honors with TSS?

[Squinch]

40. I just saw this. That's a good idea!

[RBStevens]

42. I'm kind of thinking that it won't be coming up again for a while

if you know what I mean...

Actually I'm not a big fan of posting pics/memes instead of taking the time to write out a cogent post, but in this case I make a big exception - a DOUBLE DOOR sized exception.

[Squinch]

43. I tried that for a loooong time to no avail. So then I just decided to have fun with it. But I see

what you mean about it being unlikely to come up again, so maybe we should let it lie.

[RBStevens]

44. Sorry Squinch - I think you misunderstood me?

I mean that Bains Bane has used it already and I do think that the meme should be used at will when the stupid DOORS thing comes up in order to mock it!

It's a lot better than yet another picture of another scarecrow.

[Squinch]

45. Ohhhhh! I thought you were referring to Skinner's comment to BainsBane.

[cinnabonbon]

32. I am dying.

[progressoid]

13. I held a door open for a man, and then he held the inner door open for me.

Now we have to get gay married.

[ismnotwasm]

14. I work in a busy hospital

Know what we do? The doors to the stairs--We give the door a extra "push". So whoever is a second or two behind can grab it---gender means nothing. People in wheelchairs or other devices or have children have precedence in the entry doors-- which are automatic.

Occasional you'll find a polite women or male open the for for a crowd of nurses or Residents obviously headed in the same general direction. I have experience such politeness by both women and men.
I hold doors open for people all the time. It's called "courtesy"

I don't get the door thing. Why some guy would hold open a door in the name of gender, but not courtesy?

[BainsBane]

15. Free yourselves from patriarchy, guys

It's just a door. Whoever gets there first holds it open. Don't stress. It's only a fucking door!

[UtahLib]

16. The doors issue aside,

I see the tuffs are beginning to swarm Bjorn's thread to discredit the issues the OP is addressing. So very clever to insinuate that the recs are coming from sock puppets, don't you think. Of course, that may be strictly for the benefit of anyone who hasn't yet caught on to their agenda.

[BainsBane]

20. Is that the new story?

Desperation is the mother of invention.

[UtahLib]

22. Partly - #310 nt

[BainsBane]

23. Yes, I saw. I answerd.

No shock about who the poster was.

[UtahLib]

25. Yes, very predictable. nt

[A-Schwarzenegger]

21. All this is even more complicated

when it's a door of perception.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

30. You just said a mouthful. Wow.

[sufrommich]

31. Dude,you are freaking me right out.

[seabeyond]

33. i am so sorry women. and like one woman running around the board saying... i did it, was me

me me me, i did it.

i have to admit. i am the "door" issue woman. totally my bad.

i just did not know that men held onto this cry of DA DOORS. "da doors. i hold a door open for a woman and she has a melt down. THAT is what feminism gives us". i didnt know. has never been in my life. never heard a man flip out over it. never saw a woman have a melt down over a man holding the door open. OMG... i even taught my very young boys to hold doors open for all. they loved the experience of independence going into the convenient store at 5 and beyond, by themselves... they would struggle opening that ole door and then wait and wait and wait holding it open for anyone that appeared they may be approaching that door. until i would finally yell at them to GET IN THAT STORE and let that door go. it was a hoot. and loved it. the boys would have a blast and the little old ladies would melt all over them. well, there you go. i guess that is a different version of a melt down, but it was all in beauty, kindness, fun.

i was totally clueless.

when i walked into the thread of benevolent sexism and a poster asked what it was, i put little thought into my post. i gotta admit. cause i was pretty sure the man didnt give a shit. and he didnt. so i thru out a couple fast, non thinking examples. easy to grasp. opening doors, holding out a chair. you know. women can open a door, and they can seat themselves without help. i held no judgment on these acts. simple example, only. and i did give a thorough definition and link to more indepth thought on benevolent sexism. and boom... that was it. the end.

all about da doors.

how many years has it been?

no one ever talks about the other example holding the chair for a woman.

so.... my bad. didnt know this was gonna end some people world, simply saying, da doors. my bad.

[seaglass]

34. I think DOORS has officially ended today sea.

[RBStevens]

35. But, but, but

Ah, the power of a silly meme.

[RBStevens]

36. Also about the chair holding thing

nobody talks about that because it is totally antiquated and people don't do it anymore except maybe a maître d at a fancy restaurant.
Everybody holds doors for each other all the time so some people can say *well, in my experience women have been bent out of shape because I held a DOOR for them* and that's kind of hard to dispute except for to say that it's not your experience.

IOW it'd be silly to say *women get all bent out of shape when I hold the chair for her* because well, nobody does that anymore.

ETA - I think I'm going to shout DOOR every time I type it from now on

[BainsBane]

37. New Poutrage: da Bear opens da doors

&feature=player_detailpage


Heart attack ensues:

[RBStevens]

38. Women -

[sufrommich]

39. Lol! for both of you.

[RBStevens]

41. I wanted to do the CHAIR one with a bear

but I couldn't find a funny enough bear.