This historical picture creeps me right the fuck out

[ismnotwasm]

I mean, good lord, the women looks terrified, but trying to hold it together, you know?

And the title "Chinese Beauty in Europe 1958 "



http://www.vintag.es/2014/04/chinese-beauty-in-europe-1958.html

[malthaussen]

1. Looks more like "steadfastly ignoring" to me.

But from the looks on the faces of the guys, I'm thinking it's not "Hallo, luv" coming out of their mouths, but more like racial epithets.

They also look French. Maybe she's really Vietnamese? It is one of those pictures that would probably tell an interesting story if we only knew it.

-- Mal

[ismnotwasm]

2. I think her features are more classically Chinese

And I don't think the guys are saying anything racial---well perhaps a mix of racial and sexual, there is definitely leering- but whatever they are saying doesn't appear welcome.

And I agree if I was a writer it's the kind of picture you could base a story on, and I'm sure it has it's own story.

On edit I take it back-- she very well could be Vietnamese, which would fit with the timing of the French 'interventions' in Vietnam. Which of course were precursors for the Vietnam war.

[malthaussen]

9. There's a definite leer on the guy on the left...

... but the downturned lips of the other two seem more like they are affecting disgust or repulsion. Something about their faces, anyway, makes me think they are not regarding her as a sex object.

Creepy picture, anyway. I bet she'd like to tell them to fuck off, but is too socialized for that.

-- Mal

[seabeyond]

10. what women try to explain to men, that men ignore or simply do not get, is it is about insult.

even yelling nice tits, i could hit that, date me or suck my cock, or even just a blatant look, it is all a disgust or repulsion, in the want. this is not about a man on the street getting off by attractive. this is a man being dominate, insulting.... humiliating or in his way controlling and dominating a stranger. there is simply not a single ounce of respect.

then men tell us women that start experiencing this from 11, 12 thru out life, that we should be complimented.

there is NOTHING complimentary in it. not meant to be complimentary. why the fuck would ANY man tell women that we should feel complimented, when it is all out of disrespect.

what world does a man live in to suggest when another person is being disrespected, they should some how twist that around to a compliment? only in a mans world that refuses to even a little try to grasp what it is about. and the years, decades women experience this behavior.

[malthaussen]

11. Well, obviously men would tell you to enjoy it because they do.

Groupthink has always intrigued me. I think 90% of socialized male behavior in public is based on an assessment of how they will look to other men. I can't speak for their behavior in private, but I would assume the private is informed by the public. And a lot of what is thought to look "good" to other men involves objectifying, arrogance, and lack of respect, not just based on gender, but based on any number of other qualities arbitrarily chosen. It's fascinating -- in a train wreck sort of way -- that a socialized individual would rather fit in with whatever the group is doing, however disrespectful or repellant it might be, than act civilly. The alternative, however, is not to be socialized, which also has the extra benefit of rendering one a target. (The same may be true for female social groups, but I don't have any expertise there.)

I remember once looking up the meaning of the word "cupcaking," which was current slang a few years ago (might still be, for all I know). Seems it meant "Paying more attention to your girlfriend/boyfriend than other people in a group." What intrigued me about that was that it was a pejorative term, ie it was somehow wrong to pay more attention to the gf/bf. The Group is all. With males, anyway, groupthink can easily lead to feeding-frenzy-like behavior. Scary stuff, frankly.

(Hey, here's sexism for you: spell check thinks "bf" is just fine, but doesn't like "gf.&quot

-- Mal

[seabeyond]

12. that is exactly what it is, we all know it. it is men showing off to other men to prove they are men

and how totally fuckin pathetic is that. that a man needs to prove his manhood to his fellow friends but insulting and being disrespectful to women. and that in essence is the bottomline to misogyny in our world that permeates.

as i say, we all know it. so why pretend.

call it what it is.

dont tell me it is something it is not, to coddle the male ego cause of HIS need to constantly prove his manhood to his friends.

[malthaussen]

13. I find the flipside equally maddenning, though.

I am always kind of shocked when a woman says she is "flattered" when a guy hits on her. "Well, I like to think men find me attractive," one women of otherwise-feminist leanings told me when I ask about it.

I mean, men think about sex every two minutes, so I hear, and when the urge strikes it doesn't matter if the object is a woman, a cow, or the knothole in a tree. What's so flattering? "Flattery" is also an interesting word choice, since by definition flattery is falsehood. "I like to think men pretend to find me attractive?" That's just... odd. But obviously ingrained and indoctrinated behavior. And our culture worships "attractiveness," however defined, way too much anyway.

As for the dishonesty, you know the answer to that, too. The last thing a tender ego can admit, it that it is tender. Deary, deary me, it is so HARD to be a male.

-- Mal

[ismnotwasm]

14. I shocked more than one male (and female) friend

When I told him that sexual desire was not a compliment to me (other than my husband--that's a different topic). They literally didn't understand it. When you go through life being an object of value assessment based on looks/weight etc. and you have that epiphany of how much bullshit it is, being desired sexually becomes something ugly, and that's very, very sad when you think about it.

It would be a better world if we separated value from desire, as well as ego, in the sense of "I had that" or "I'd hit it" to use slang to make a point

[redqueen]

3. Yep, she is as stiff as a board.

The opposite of relaxed and casual.

And now I have "Just a Girl" in my head again. Cause they all sit and stare with those eyes

[ismnotwasm]

5. Thanks--now I have it in my head

At least it's a good song

[seabeyond]

6. did i hear a part in there about stepping out in the world and harassment? cause man. for men to

tell us this does not happen. or rarely. for a singer to write a song about it pretty much is a huge ass indicator that when men tell us that they are full of shit. not that we women, who experience it, did not already know.

[ismnotwasm]

7. This is a song from 1995

It was a big hit. What we fight against is huge.

[Flatulo]

8. She does look stiff, but her quiet dignity comes through. I bet she has a fascinating life story.

I worked with a few guys who came here after the war; boat people as it were. They could all write books about their experiences. They arrived here with nothing but the clothes on their backs, yet within 10 years they had Ph.d's in chemistry and physics.

They're amazing people - if she is indeed Vietnamese.

[seabeyond]

4. this would be a good picture for the men that defend this behavior, saying how it is no big deal,

to actually look. look closely. look how they have made this woman uncomfortable. her mere existence allow men to make her uncomfortable. not having the right to walk thru her day, without three or more asses, making her uncomfortable in her day.

cause

their right to be asses trumps.