Share your memories -- "I Remember When..."

[Sparkly]

I am so excited tonight, experiencing not just the making of history, but the making of progress American mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, great-great-grandmothers -- as far back as we could count -- FOUGHT for.

Even in our own lifetimes, things have changed -- especially for those of us over 50. I know we have much farther to go, but tonight let's celebrate what we are witnessing. I keep thinking, "I remember when" ... "and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!!"

I remember when I wasn't allowed to wear pants to school -- only skirts or dresses -- and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!!

I remember when sexual harassment was the norm, going to work was like going into battle and there was NO recourse at all -- and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!!

I remember when "What do you want to be when you grow up?" wasn't even asked of us girls, and the choices were secretary, nurse, teacher, or ballerina -- and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!"

I could go on and on... But I would love to know what you remember, while we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!!!!

[WhiteTara]

1. What I thought of instead is the empowerment

of all those women in Congress. They will really for the first time have a voice and be heard. I was listening to Claire McCaskill and it made me think of all those strong democratic women who will be able to perhaps move an agenda.

But, on the memory side, "women weren't insurance agents" "girls didn't go to veterinary school"

[Sparkly]

2. Sorry to reply to my own thread, but just heard another one --

Brian Williams -- "When the next president puts his or her hand on the Bible and takes the oath of office"...

His OR HER just got real. Remember when "HE" was the norm that stood for everyone? I just dealt with a document today referring to me in the "general HE."

I remember when children's books featured male characters 90% of the time, and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president! (And my daughter caught me making Piglet a "she.&quot

I remember teaching pre-school children a song about animals, and made some of them "she." A little boy asked why I was making some of them "girls," and as I answered, the little girls in the class looked at me with the most amazing wide-eyed smiles... and now we're on our way to electing America's first woman president!

Sorry. I can't help myself. I am very happy tonight!!!

[Skittles]

3. I remember in 1993 being told I had to wear a dress/skirt to work

yes - 1993

in high school I was asked why I wanted to take a fourth year of math, classes that were usually reserved for "men who wanted to be engineers"

[Sparkly]

10. Oh yes -- math class...

When I got an A on a trig test, the teacher sarcastically tacked it to the bulletin board.

I was stellar at geometry, and the teacher would have me go to the cafeteria each day to get him cold milk for his lunch. I had to walk past a line of boys AND another teacher who harassed me about "milk" because I have breasts.

One of those teachers was having sex with another student, but in those days it was just life...

And now, we're on our way to electing the first woman president of America!!!

[BlueMTexpat]

21. The "casual" everyday

sexual harassment ... if we said anything to anyone, people would respond with "what's the big deal?"

[Sparkly]

30. Or "You can't SMILE?"

"F'ing bitch..." and worse.

[oldtime dfl_er]

4. when I went for my first job interview

In the 1970s, I was interviewed by a gentleman (?) who spent half the the interview telling me that I looked like, and reminded him of, Charo (google her, young'uns). I knew then that I wouldn't get the job.

[Sparkly]

11. Oh geez...

I remember being asked if I had a boyfriend, EVERY time.

And now we're about to elect our first woman president!

[ismnotwasm]

5. I remember PROTESTING that wear a skirt shit when I was a just a little girl

Bunch of us brought pants to school and put them on. We got in trouble for it too.

[Sparkly]

12. My older sisters did that, too!!

In high school (guessing 1970) they had a "walk out" at a predetermined time when girls stood up and left whatever class they were in, went outside and... I'm not sure what else they did, but it was a shock to all the adults -- a major rebellion!

[BlueMTexpat]

6. I remember when ...

- I wasn't allowed to wear pants to classes in high school, in college, and when I wasn't allowed to wear pantsuits to teach classes

- public school teachers who got pregnant (heaven help them if they were unwed!) could work until the fifth month maximum and then had to resign their posts completely with no right of return despite the number of years they had taught; they could reapply for their job in the following academic year, but there was no guarantee that they would be rehired - for anything, despite their qualifications and experience

- I had to use my own sick leave days so that I could care for my children when THEY were ill (no parental leave)

- I was criticized for taking any job at all because I should have left it open for any man regardless of qualifications or experience; this was because "men had to support a family," notwithstanding the fact that I was the sole support of mine

- I was hired with less prestigious job titles and less pay than my male counterparts even though I was doing as much work (or more) and had as many responsibilities (or more) and I was still expected to "help THEM out" no matter how much it would inconvenience my own schedules/projects

I could go on and on and on ... as I am sure too many others like me can.

While I have been fortunate enough to work with and for many more men who are/were truly decent human beings in every respect than for those who aren't/weren't, too many of us - myself included - took the system for granted.

Hillary never took the system for granted, challenged it, and pushed the envelope until today, despite having tried very hard and failing once before. This is indeed a BIG effing deal! I'm SOOOOO proud to be WITH HER!!!

[radical noodle]

9. Your list is so close to mine!

I guess all of us had very similar experiences.

[Sparkly]

13. Wow-- and I hear you!!

You lived important history. I hope you kept a journal or will write about it going forward!!

Hm... We need a blog.

[radical noodle]

7. I remember when...

...my mother was the only mother in my class who had a job outside the home.

...when the only goal my female classmates had was to get a husband.

...when my boss told me he would pay me more if I was a man because men had families to support.

...when female accountants come wearing heels to my office in an ice storm because it was required by their firm (I wrote a letter to the firm and got that rule overturned).

...when a single woman who was pregnant had to hide out somewhere until she gave birth and then come back pretending nothing happened.

...when my married teacher was forced to quit her job when she became pregnant.

...when my first husband's grandmother did her gardening in a dress, hose and heels.

...when girls were told to take typing and shorthand in high school if they wanted to work.

OMG... so many memories. I was born in 1947.

[BlueMTexpat]

15. You are SO right

Our experiences were very similar. I was born in 1943.

I also remember when I discovered (in high school) that my grades on science tests were not as high as those of the boys even when my answers were correct - often more correct than theirs because I explained my work. The excuse given to me by my male teacher was that he only gave As to the boys in the class because I would be taken care of by my husband and the boys needed good grades to go on to college.

As it happened, I did marry after undergrad studies, but then went to grad school and, for the most part ended up supporting Husband #1 and our children until we finally decided to separate amicably after 13 years. I then went on to a grad business major and, while working at a better-paying job than teaching, met Husband #2. Then I went to law school. H#2 and I are still together after nearly 35 years.

I have been one of the very fortunate ones. Too many of my high school female classmates fell victim to that science teacher's self-fulfilling prophecy and stopped their formal studies after high school altogether. There was very little difference between them and me except that my parents had instilled a desire and a responsibility in me to study so that I could take care of myself - at the very least - and at best try to do some good in the world beyond my immediate surroundings.

[oldtime dfl_er]

32. ((HUGS))

I remember when -- LONG after high school -- I discovered I was GOOD at math. I was taught to hate it, and to hate most sciences, and to fear it. I never did well in math classes, and it's only on looking back that I can see clearly I was fulfilling others' expectations of my abilities.

[BlueMTexpat]

33. I hear you about "hating" and fearing math when I shouldn't have!

I had one experience that was very surprising for those days. I spent my last two years of secondary school at a private Catholic high school in a small city (a BIG step up from my previous rural experience) and the only "counseling" we got was in the form of a civil servant from the state employment service who would come in and administer a series of aptitude tests to the seniors and then provide us with a brief counseling session afterwards to discuss the results. Of course, students today receive - or are supposed to - such guidance long before being seniors.

Most of my friends had their sessions before mine and had reported that they were counseled in the usual fashion: telephone operator, stenographer, secretary, teacher, nurse, etc. At my session, the first question the interviewer - who was male - asked was "Why do you hate math?" I was taken aback and mumbled something about its being the discipline that I felt least comfortable with and he said, "I don't know why you should feel that. You did very well on anything related to math and you had the highest score in analytical reasoning in the class." We were 250 in all and the school was co-ed.

He was not talking about advanced math, e.g., calculus, trig or physics, but merely the basics, especially the written math questions. He then continued by saying that I should really consider being a lawyer - which was absolutely the furthest thing from my mind! In fact, I was so conditioned to fulfilling "customary expectations of my abilities" that I was not even flattered to be singled out in such a way. I didn't appreciate being "different."

That man, whose name I never remembered, was a hero in a way he will never know. Even though I didn't appreciate his advice at the time, after a very long and winding road over many years, I ultimately did become a lawyer.

Those of my classmates from that high school who followed the more customary paths invariably excelled at them and many went on for further studies. Some actually and eventually became successful businesswoman as well, who created and ran their own businesses. We were for the most part taught not to believe in ourselves. Thankfully, many of us learned to.

I am so thankful that young women are encouraged to be who they want to be today. I hope that many of Bernie's women millennials will ultimately realize just how much has been accomplished by people like Hillary and other women so that they simply can take such a thing for granted.

[Sparkly]

18. Wow!!

I remember a lot of that too (I was born in 1957).

Gym locker room conversations: "What are you doing after June (graduation)?" It was ALL "Who are you marrying?" I said, "I am going to college -- not sure after that." "Oh, so you want to be a CAREER GIRL?"

"Career girl" - LOL! It was a common term at the time!

I remember a girl dropping out of high school when she got pregnant, explaining matter-of-factly that her father said if she wants to have sex, she can't be in school or live in his house, and she's pregnant so he says she wants to have sex... I've often wondered what happened to her.

Yes -- women worked for "pin money," right?!?!!

And OMG typing and steno! Someone along the way advised me NOT to take "Business Typing" in high school, but "Personal Typing" instead -- and never to admit at all that I could type!! Of course, every job interview started with a typing test.

[DURHAM D]

8. Yes, not only no pants on campus in college but

no pants at work. Hose and pumps required.

I remember when I could not get a mortgage in my own name without my Dad as a co-signer.

I remember when I had to have an illegal abortion.

Sexual harassment was the norm at work and we had no recourse but to change jobs and hope we got lucky.

I remember that the only career choices for women were nurse, librarian or teacher.

I remember when your dad, brother or boyfriend had to take your car to the mechanic.

I remember when date rape did not exist.

I remember when a woman's prior sexual activity was admissible at trial.

I remember when rape was ignored.

I remember when domestic violence was not considered a crime.

and a thousand other things

[BlueMTexpat]

17. Ah yes, the $$$ spent on hose.

LOL, I remember being hugely excited about panty hose so that we didn't have to wear girdles or garter belts as well.

Thousands of other things come to mind ... each of us has a mother lode of experiences just waiting to be mined.

[Sparkly]

24. Ah yes...

I've lived it with you -- rape was ignored; domestic violence wasn't a crime... And car mechanics, computer "geniuses" etc. STILL talk to my husband rather than me (and if he isn't there, they dismiss me, add extra charges, etc.).

Please write it down. Already, the backlash is sweeping our experiences under the rug.

But tonight is a victory - We're on our way to electing our first woman president, and I am celebrating!!!

[Walk away]

14. I remember making coffee every morning for the men in my office...

men who had the same position I had in the company even though they were paid more, got to leave early to go home to their wives and expected to be promoted while I did most of the work.
Three years later I was promoted to V.P. of Operations and every one of those men worked under me. What happened? They brought a woman as CEO and she developed and promoted based on merit.

[BlueMTexpat]

19. Great to hear about your

vindication!

[Walk away]

22. Later I found out the corporate world sucked, I quit and opened my own business...

but it was an eye opener. I made it a point to treat everyone as equals...except Republicans.

[BlueMTexpat]

23. Even better!

Congratulations to you!

[Sparkly]

31. You GO!!!

[Sparkly]

25. I love your story!!

[Sparkly]

26. I hear you, CountAllVotes.

I don't know your circumstances, but one thing I do know is that you are NOT a "complete failure." You are a survivor.

The "secretary, nurse, teacher" is what I learned too, but I guess I learned "ballerina" from a musical jewelry box -? And that seemed nice, so...

I agree that there's a new code of conduct in place now -- the 1970s Women's Movement has been met with a HEAVY and well-funded backlash, burying our experiences under heaps of scorn.

You hang in there. When Hillary Clinton is President of the United States, centuries of sexism are going to crest into a turning point.

And sisterly love is here for you.

[femmocrat]

20. I have the same memories as others of my generation.

I loved science and wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was in 10th grade, I had straight A's, including honors math and science. I applied for a summer science camp and my rejection letter said, "Sorry, but we don't accept girls." Kind of like Hillary's inquiry about becoming an astronaut!

I followed the usual path and became a teacher, which was one of the few opportunities for college-educated women in the 1960s. College was a very male-dominated and oriented environment. Girls were still considered "coeds" and it was pitiful to not be engaged and planning a wedding your senior year!

When I was teaching, we had to wear skirts, pantyhose and heels. No slacks, no open-toed shoes. I had to go on a year-long maternity leave, but didn't lose my job, just my seniority. Our union finally got a little nerve and fought for us to wear pants-suits. Had to be a matching set!

Life is so much better for young women today. Hope they appreciate what we and our fore-mothers and sisters went through!

[Sparkly]

28. Awesome history, femmocrat!!

Unbelievable for many people today. (No open-toed shoes?!!)

You said, "Hope they (young women today) appreciate what we and our fore-mothers and sisters went through!"

I don't think most do... The backlash has erased our experiences -- the "new" thing is to be "post" all that now, just like being "post-racial" pretends the past is over, with no shadows - some people are just oversensitive or something (or "reverse racist&quot . Same with feminism -- all a reaction to something imaginary, and we're just crazy, angry man-haters.

[BlueMTexpat]

34. + a million! eom

[brer cat]

27. Fun thread, Sparkly.

Born in 1946, I share many of the memories listed up thread.

One no one has mentioned yet: In high school PE we were not allowed to participate during our periods. At roll call, we answered "M" instead of "here" so the teacher would excuse us. We are soon to have a postmenopausal woman as President.

[Sparkly]

29. OMG! Similar memory...

We had a sleazy male teacher for swimming, in high school, and had to wear very old one-piece swimsuits with no elastic left. He made us lie on the tiles outside of the pool and practice the breast stroke, frog legs or something, while he walked around looking at us -- totally humiliating.

As you said, menstruation was the only way to get out of participating (in or out of the water). I used it a few too many times, and at the end of the semester he said if I did NOT participate that day, I would FAIL. Smart girl that I was, I asked if that meant that if I DID participate, I would PASS? He said yes -- if I participated that day, I would pass.

I participated. He failed me. The ONLY "F" on my high school transcript.

But I sure learned a lesson.

[BlueMTexpat]

35. LOL, you just reminded me

that when I was in junior high, we were assigned this matronly - and only later did I realize - fundamentalist Christian PE teacher.

She literally would not let us females do ANYTHING in PE more strenuous than shuffleboard or rolling a big medicine ball around, so it didn't really matter whether some were "M" or not. Her explanation for that was that she didn't want us somehow to "damage" our ability to have children.

!!!

Even in my rural backwater, that one lasted only a year. I can only imagine the vapors she must have undergone over the years with the rise of our wonderful women athletes!

[mercuryblues]

36. I remember

having to move out of my home, when my Mom got divorced. Even though she worked a good union job, single women were not allowed to have a mortgage in only their name.

So I will revel in Clinton being the main occupant of the most famous house in this country is a woman.