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Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:23 PM

The Purity Test

Let's listen in as 3rd Way Al helps a young, naive Jimmy explore the strange and wonderful world of the New Democratic Party.

"So, why do you want to join the Democratic Party?"

"Well, I guess I don't agree with the Republican view that corporations matter more than people, the military is..."

"You don't like corporations?"

"I just think they have too much power over government"

"Don't you think the government needs expertise of corporate CEOs to help formulate policy"

"But their expertise is building personal wealth for a small closed group of private investors not in soc..."

"Don't you believe in the free market?"

"Umm... I guess but there needs to be limits and regulation..."

"That sounds like communism, besides, Wall Street takes the risks, they should reap the rewards"

"But their risks are backed by money taken out of our pay chec..."

"Let's move on, what were you going to say about the military?"

"Well, it's crazy, the wars, the spying, police, tortu..."

"Don't you think we should defend ourselves?"

"Yes, but I don't believe having NSA reading my families email makes us saf..."

"You have something to hide?"

"No, but having access to all that information is inviting abuse and corr..."

"It's just metadata. So, what don't you like about torture?"

"It is clearly a primal method of revenge, there are so many better ways to..."

"If your 12 yr old daughter was about to be attacked by terrorists and you had to torture someone to stop it, wouldn't you do it?"

"But that's a silly, cartoonish fantasy, something you see on a TV show, it isn't reality..."

"Maybe your daughter isn't being attacked by terrorists right now because our patriots at CIA use torture to extract vital information."

"Really?"

"Maybe you're too radical to be a real Democrat."

"Look, I'm not applying for a job... don't you want my vote?"

"All I'm saying is, get rid of the looney left purity and you'll get along much better around here."

"WTF!"

"Just listen to yourself, you sound like some 60's hippie..."

"And you sound like a douchebag..."

"Calm down, you people need to get over it. This is the new reality."

"You people...?"

"Ever hear the President use the L word? Hillary? You're not some FDR socialist are you?"

"What's wrong with FDR, I thought he was a Democrat?"

"And Lincoln and Reagan were Republicans"

"Wait, Reagan?"

"Reagan is a good image to associate with. Lets people know we are serious. Besides, trickle down gets a bad rap."

"So, to be a New Democrat, I have to
- embrace corporate power over the legislative process
- support citizen surveillance
- accept Wall Street deregulation, torture and trickle down economics?
- admire Reagan for his positive association

You learn quick, but there's more than that
- appreciate the beauty of corporate run prisons and schools,
- understand how sending jobs to Asia builds a robust middle class,
- believe in the importance of taxes breaks for the oil and insurance industries
- adopt self-regulation as a means to protect the environment

"That sounds like a purity test"

"It's worth it in the end"

"How?"

"We win elections"

"But you got blown out..."

"Tell that to President Obama, with a capital D. And, according to the National Committee, the mid term loses were vindication that our strategy is working"

"It was pretty close considering Romney made such an ass out of... well I guess I'm misinformed"

"There's a lot you seem to be misinformed about.

"But how is this different than Republican philosophy..."

"You don't think a woman should have the right to choose?"

"Yes, she should but..."

"You want Republicans to win?"

"No, but, um, I think I have to go now. Thanks for your help."

"Anytime, can you give me some cash to help the cause?

"Uh, sorry, I'm broke."

"You get a sticker with a D on it..."

"Sorry, no money"

"OK, don't forget to vote."











39 replies, 5642 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 39 replies Author Time Post
Reply The Purity Test (Original post)
whereisjustice Jan 2015 OP
Demeter Jan 2015 #1
djean111 Jan 2015 #2
Enthusiast Jan 2015 #4
Enthusiast Jan 2015 #3
Enthusiast Jan 2015 #5
sabrina 1 Jan 2015 #6
cheapdate Jan 2015 #7
CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2015 #11
NYC_SKP Jan 2015 #16
CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2015 #19
cheapdate Jan 2015 #18
CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2015 #21
Cosmic Kitten Jan 2015 #15
cheapdate Jan 2015 #20
JTFrog Jan 2015 #23
sabrina 1 Jan 2015 #28
L0oniX Jan 2015 #34
Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2015 #8
whereisjustice Jan 2015 #9
Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2015 #10
paleotn Jan 2015 #24
aspirant Jan 2015 #27
zeemike Jan 2015 #12
L0oniX Jan 2015 #13
Jackpine Radical Jan 2015 #32
Scuba Jan 2015 #14
Maedhros Jan 2015 #17
onecaliberal Jan 2015 #22
paleotn Jan 2015 #25
Jackpine Radical Jan 2015 #33
SamKnause Jan 2015 #26
sabrina 1 Jan 2015 #29
arikara Jan 2015 #35
rhett o rick Jan 2015 #30
MannyGoldstein Jan 2015 #31
whereisjustice Jan 2015 #36
demwing Jan 2015 #37
whereisjustice Jan 2015 #38
historylovr Jan 2015 #39

Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:28 PM

1. I truly wish this was satire

 

but I know it isn't.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:34 PM

2. Not satire. Reality. nt

 

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Response to djean111 (Reply #2)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:59 PM

4. Exactly—reality.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:58 PM

3. K&R! This post deserves hundreds of recommendations!

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:00 PM

5. This should not be hidden away in this group. It should be out front and have 100s of recs.

Hear me?

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Response to Enthusiast (Reply #5)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:23 PM

6. Maybe, but I think it might sound a little bit too familiar 'out there'!

It's definitely an excellent piece of truth through satire though.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:25 PM

7. Gloom and doom.

Wow. Democrats really suck, huh?

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #7)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:48 PM

11. Your post was alerted on, and here are the results:

I was Juror #1:

Automated Message
AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service

Mail Message
On Sun Jan 4, 2015, 04:28 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

Gloom and doom.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1277&pid=2549

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

This person is trolling for a fight, shouldn't be allowed in this forum.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Jan 4, 2015, 04:35 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Trolling for a fight? I don't think so. Let it stand.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #11)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:29 PM

16. Hey, sister!

 

Happy New Year!

Thanks for posting the results!

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #16)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:37 PM

19. Happy New Year too you too, my dear NYC_SKP!

I like people to know when they've been alerted upon and the jury came in in their favor. I've had a few happen that way for me, and I always appreciate it.

You don't find out, otherwise.

Back atcha, babe!

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #11)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:37 PM

18. Thank you for that.

I believe everyone here is aware of the ideological divisions within the Democratic Party.

The Democratic Party is still the party of Alan Grayson, Kieth Ellison, Al Franken, Elizabeth Warren, Sherrod Brown, Ron Wyden, Mike Honda, Donna Edwards, Kirsten Gillibrand, Chris Murphy, and many more.

The path forward is to strengthen progressive voices inside the party. Maybe it's a lost cause and maybe it isn't, but the premise of DU is that it isn't a lost cause.

Constructive criticism is a good thing and is absolutely necessary. But not when it succumbs to naked cynicism.

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #18)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:39 PM

21. You're very welcome!



I agree with your assessment of the Democratic Party.

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #7)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:18 PM

15. Did you forget the "sarcasm" smilie?

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Response to Cosmic Kitten (Reply #15)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:38 PM

20. I suppose I did.

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #7)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:51 PM

23. You Better Believe It! n/t

 

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #7)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 12:36 AM

28. Not Democrats, The Third Way!

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Response to cheapdate (Reply #7)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 11:56 AM

34. We love our oligarchy selected Democratic puppets.

 

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:30 PM

8. Nice job!!!

 

My answer to this part:

"Don't you believe in the free market?"


Offer this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1022162

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #8)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:32 PM

9. "lawless market" - very good way to put it, I have not heard that before, eom

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Response to whereisjustice (Reply #9)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:37 PM

10. I hope it becomes the standard response.

 

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #10)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 10:00 PM

24. Should be. It fits very well (nt)

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #8)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 11:38 PM

27. LOVE IT

one by one,we can change the conversation

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:55 PM

12. Nice job.

And we have all heard those rationalizations before right here.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 08:59 PM

13. Are you Manny's understudy? If so congrats ...you NAILED IT! ...and thank you. +bunches.

 

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Response to L0oniX (Reply #13)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 11:47 AM

32. Actually, I had to scroll back to the top to see if I had missed Manny's name.

Yeah. You got it.

K&R of course.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:04 PM

14. Brilliant, accurate parody of exactly what is wrong with the Democratic Party.

 

Thanks whereisjustice.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:35 PM

17. It's amazing how, when put into context, the modern Democratic platform

 

reveals itself as what it truly is: utter bullshit.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 09:44 PM

22. Ding ding ding....

We have a winner. Perfect example of reality.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 10:03 PM

25. One of the best parodies of third way dems I've read in awhile.

you are spot on. cheers!

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Response to paleotn (Reply #25)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 11:48 AM

33. Parody?

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Sun Jan 4, 2015, 10:32 PM

26. The Republican Party

has veered so sharply to the right I don't think they should be called the Republican Party.

I think the Tea Party represents the true Republican Party in present day.

The Democratic Party has veered so sharply to the right, they have become the Ronald Reagan Republicans.

The Progressives, Greens, and Democratic Socialists, and Socialists stick with their platform and continue to be marginalized and demonized.

The Dirty Fucking Hippies were right !!!

That's my 2 cents.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 12:43 AM

29. Brilliant! The Third Way really doesn't like Democrats, especially the Progressive kind. In fact

they wrote an article saying so not too long ago.

So what are they doing in the Democrat Party?

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Response to sabrina 1 (Reply #29)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 04:44 PM

35. To take it over

They want to take over the party so that it doesn't matter which one wins in the election.

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 01:30 AM

30. Well done. Thanks for posting. nm

 

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 02:11 AM

31. Hmmm...

 



Regards,

TWM

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Response to MannyGoldstein (Reply #31)

Mon Jan 5, 2015, 07:59 PM

36. lol, I'm glad it isn't the campfire scene... that's a good one for TPP, eom

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Tue Jan 6, 2015, 12:24 AM

37. Bravo. You deserve our 2nd Pin of the week!

 

Thanks for this post whereisjustice, you post will stay pinned till Monday 1/12/2015.

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Response to demwing (Reply #37)

Tue Jan 6, 2015, 01:59 AM

38. You are very welcome and glad to be of service, eom

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Response to whereisjustice (Original post)

Tue Jan 6, 2015, 04:46 PM

39. Brilliant!

Sadly, true, but brilliant nonetheless.

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