Jill Biden, Master of King Fu!!!

[Bucky]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/03/04/jill-biden-joe-biden-protesters/

I scrolled past the story a couple of times on Facebook because I thought it was a The Onion piece. No man, it's some motherlovin' King Fu shit in real life!

Jill Biden’s epic tussle: In split-second blocking maneuver, she protects husband from lunging vegans

Suddenly, a protester rushed the stage wielding a “Let Dairy Die” placard. With the vegan protester just a few feet from her husband, Jill Biden clutched her husband’s right hand and interposed her body between him and the woman lunging at him.

About 10 seconds later, another anti-dairy industry protester stormed the stage. Reacting with lightning speed, the former second lady swung around, extended her arms, grabbed her by the wrists and then blocked her with a stiff-arm.

Wincing, she pushed the woman back as her husband and sister-in-law looked on with concern during the sudden confrontation.

Suddenly, three vegan-ninjas summersalt rolled off a nearby balcony, brandishing bunches of carrots like nunchucks, and began to circle the vice president. With panther-like efficiency, Professor Biden sprung into action, diving towards two of the veganninjas, springing up like a parkour dancer, and scissor kicked them each simultaneously in the jugulars, snapping their necks like they were pods of green beans. Then seamlessly she pulled a razor-sharp emery board from her purse and tossed it straight at the third veganninja, driving the death spike through his eye.

No sooner had Professor Biden let out a sigh of relief, than there was a thunderous rumbling that shook the auditorium like a small earthquake. It was Doctor DeathPeta in her giant battle droid... and she was stomping menacingly toward a small crowd of orphans... Professor Biden had only seconds to react...

[emmaverybo]

1. Oh, that was brilliant!

[Bucky]

5. Thanks. I'd totally binge this Netflix show

I'm seeing Ming-Na Wen as Jill Biden. Morgan Freeman as Joe

[Demsrule86]

2. You are too funny.

[Cha]

3. lol!

Rofl! Ninji Jill Biden!

[Firebrand Gary]

4. Please, someone create a Jill Biden Meme

[blue-wave]

6. All Laughs Aside

I'm concerned for Joe's and Jill's personal safety and everyone else around them. It is time for him to request Secret Service protection. Until he gets that protection, it's time for his campaign to seriously step up his security. I've worked as volunteer advance staff for national politicians in the past. This is no joking matter. It should have never happened.

I also believe that any serious contender should have Secret Service protection. So yes, that includes Bernie and Warren. Let's have the good debate, but let's be safe in the process.