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jmowreader

jmowreader's Journal
jmowreader's Journal
April 27, 2015

The GOP wants to get rid of "winner take all" presidential elections? Here's what I want...

Five simple things.

1) get rid of the electoral college, a system designed for an America that communicated by handing letters to horsemen. Presidents should be directly elected by the people.

2) move the general election to the first Saturday after Independence Day. The November election date was set in an era when America was largely agrarian and the only time a farmer could justify leaving his spread to go to town for voting was after the crops were in. We spend all this time and trouble pumping up our most patriotic holiday; let's take advantage of it and schedule our most patriotic act for the same time frame. Winners will take office on October 1 of that year.

3) create a national primary election day on the first Saturday in April. No candidate may officially declare for the primary until the first Saturday in January.

4) get rid of the dark money and 527 groups. Instead, allow deep-pocketed donors to contribute unlimited funds directly to candidates. Campaign ads will then be structured like pharmaceutical ads...but instead of telling you to seek medical help if the candidate makes your erections last longer than four hours, they will have to list, in order of dollars contributed, everyone who helped pay for the ad.

and

5) no elected official may run for a higher office while serving as an incumbent. Any incumbent who wants a better position - a Congressman who wants to be a Senator, say - must request his or her governor appoint someone to serve, pro tempore, until the elected incumbent is either elected to the higher office or leaves the race.

April 25, 2015

Bruce Jenner really disgusts me

The guy was the World's Greatest Athlete at the 1976 Olympics...and he took up SMOKING?



Someone send Skittles to Jenner's house. This cannot stand.

April 23, 2015

A riddle for today

You need to get a wolf, a side of beef and Ted Nugent across a river. Your boat will hold one of them. If you take the beef first Ted Nugent will kill the wolf. If you take either Ted or the wolf across, the beef will be eaten. You are not allowed to shoot Ted. How will you do this?

April 21, 2015

Is this the year Barroid Bonds loses the single-season HR record?

In 2001, Barry Bonds hit 73 home runs.

This year, Nelson Cruz of the Mariners is projected to hit 100.

Discuss.

April 19, 2015

How do non-official holidays work?

Like...oh, say, if International Stoner's Day is on a Monday, as it is this year, is it acceptable to celebrate it on the weekend?

April 16, 2015

On the 150th anniversary of his death, Lincoln becomes a Democrat

Join us now as we meet with the Sixteenth President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, as he returns from the grave for a moment of historic import...

Seven score and ten years ago, John Wilkes Booth shot me in the back of the head. At the time, I was a member of the Republican Party; in fact, I was the very first president from the Republican Party.

During my time in office, the Republican Party stood for freedom and equality. It no longer does; it has turned into a gang of thieves, bigots, theocrats, despots and oligarchs. I can no longer stand idly by and watch my good name be used to support rash, unbridled criminality. I have therefore decided to change my party registration to Democratic. The Democratic Party is what the Republican Party once was and will never be again.

I have been made aware the current atrocity that has stolen the name of a once-proud party has named its fundraising dinners after me. Quit it. Now. Next time I hear of a "Lincoln Day" dinner that isn't packed with Democrats, I'm going all Shiloh on your asses.
April 11, 2015

You will completely believe why Idaho is about to shut down its child support enforcement system

Sharia law.

http://cdapress.com/news/local_news/article_4a5de293-57b0-5234-afe5-e88150e5b1ee.html

Idaho uses the federal government's interstate child support enforcement system - which makes sense because it keeps deadbeat parents from fleeing across the state line. The feds are demanding the states come into compliance with federal guidelines if they want to keep using the system, so the Senate introduced Bill 1067...

https://legiscan.com/ID/text/S1067/2015

which cleared the Senate unanimously.

Then it got to the House, where one Senator Sheryl Nuxoll - the Michele Fiore of the Idaho legislature - pointed out the federal system is tied into the Hague Convention on International Recovery of Child Support and Family Maintenance...which counts among its members the Islamic states of Bosnia and Albania. OMG This Will Bring Sharia Law To Idaho!

And the House tabled the bill.

(Edited to correct the house that nut Nuxoll sits in...)

April 9, 2015

Warning to Inland Northwest DUers: DO NOT buy from Whispering Larch Farm

Whispering Larch Farm is a CSA who trades at the Sandpoint, Idaho, Farmers Market. It is owned by one Christopher Herndon.

He posts on the cdapress.com message boards as "StandforTruth."

He is EXTREMELY anti-gay...Matt McLaughlin, the California lawyer who filed the Shoot the Gays Initiative in California, has nothing on ol' Christopher. A couple days ago a high school student who is tired of being bullied over being gay wrote to my paper...you can read his letter here:
http://cdapress.com/opinion/letters_to_editor/article_0c7c5146-dd85-11e4-9014-8f659a0a5971.html#user-comment-area
Ol' Christopher told him he needed to repent and God would take away the gay. Ugh.

He is also anti-abortion to an extent beyond that of rational man; one of his favorite things to do is to picket the "abortion mills" (his term) in Sandpoint. Since the closest Actual Abortion Clinic to Sandpoint is in Spokane, and the closest Idaho-based abortion clinic to Sandpoint is 423 miles south of Sandpoint (there are only three in all Idaho - one in Meridian, one in Boise and the third in Twin Falls) one may correctly ask what the hell he is doing. Well...he's picketing pharmacies. In his eyes, there is absolutely no difference between someone who stocks shelves at a drugstore that sells Plan B and Dr. George Tiller.

Now, it COULD be entertaining to go to the Sandpoint Farmers Market, look over the produce then tell him you can't buy anything as covered with hate as the shit in his booth...but it would cost me four gallons of gas to do so, and if I really wanted to use four gallons of gas it wouldn't be on that.

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