Bonhomme Richard sailor charged with aggravated arson, hazarding

Trump the Paratrooper

So it seems that after Trump got reinstated, his first stop was to Fort Bragg because they have a great golf course there. Ivanka told him, “but daddy, you have to visit the troops if you don’t want the fake news to say bad things about you.” So, off he went to Green Ramp to meet some troops.

He found the 82nd Airborne’s most important jump master standing next to a captain and told him, “ I’m going to be the greatest jumper in history. None of you will ever be greater than me. So, tell me how to jump out of a plane.”

The jumpmaster pointed at a C-130. “Mr. President, that’s a plane. You get in it. When it gets to where you need to go, someone will tell you to jump, and you jump out.”

“And then what?” Trump asked.

“And…that’s it. It’s real easy. Anyone can do it.”

Trump ran off toward the plane screaming, “Everyone’s going to know what a great jumper I am. You just watch.”

When Trump was out of earshot, the captain turned to the jumpmaster. “Sergeant, shouldn’t you have told him about parachutes?”

“Nope.”

Capitol invader busted by Bumble match

Oh lord...Boebert tweeted her "prescription" to BDS

BDS = Boebert Derangement Syndrome.

On the list of verbal diarrhea is “tell the Karens to chill out.” Interesting coming from one of the worst Karens in America.

She also said something about rewarding work, not staying at home. Apparently she’s having trouble hiring people who will work for tipped minimum wage.

I have a better cure for BDS: vote this useless eater out of Congress next year if we don’t expel her sooner.

No seat is safe when Ohtani is at the plate

Seattle’s T-Mobile Park features a dining venue called the Hit it Here Cafe. No one ever hits it there, so a couple fans decided the seats next to it would be a nice safe place to take in a little baseball.

Naturally, Shohei Ohtani decided to hit it there. Those poor fans were left scrambling so they didn’t get hit.

It’s only the sixth time anyone’s ever hit into the upper deck in the history of that ballpark.

After this season is over, President Biden should invite Ohtani to the White House. After four years of Trump and a year of pandemic, Ohtani is exactly what we needed to recover as a nation.

I've been reading up on toluene diisocyanate

And you're thinking, "what the hell is toluene diisocyanate?" Polyurethane foam is made out of four chemicals: that one I just named and that we'll call TDI from here on in; a "polyol" like ethylene glycol; the catalyst 1,4-diazabicyclo[2.2.2]octane (better known as DABCO) that causes the first two chemicals to link together; and a blowing agent like carbon dioxide or water that makes the polyurethane foam up before it gets a chance to cure.

There are reports that TDI causes neurological damage.

TDI is used to make the foam that Mike Lindell uses to make his pillows.

Is it possible that Mike Lindell's insanity is from the chemicals he uses to make his lumpy pillows and not from the drugs he used to do or the company he currently keeps?

I was a bit of a Karen last night

So I had a really long day at work and decided to go to Carl’s Jr. for lunch. I ordered, and while they were putting it together I noticed something on the menu. So I called one of the employees over.

“Can I speak to your manager? Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

So the manager comes out. “May I help you?”

“Yes. Could you call corporate and tell them their electronic menu says (named three items) are free?”

“What do you mean?”

“Turn around and look.”

She did. Next to the three items were the prices: $0.00.

She then started laughing. “Oh my god. I never noticed that before! Yeah, we’ll get that fixed right away. Thanks!”

Hawaii begins accepting vaccine cards on July 8

How I improved the lives of the citizens of my state

The old situation: Idaho Law required that when someone bought a car, they had to take it, in person, to the DMV for registration to have the VIN inspected...and they of course charged you to walk outside, look at the VIN plate and say "yes, that's what it is." (However, they didn't inspect mine when I registered my new car...there was a huge antimask protest going on in the courthouse parking lot and the employees refused to leave the building, so they took my paperwork's word for it.)

During the pandemic you had to make an appointment to do this, and appointments were scarce. The result was that lots of people were running around on extremely expired temporary tags.

Me being a generally helpful person, and knowing that our state legislators read the newspaper, before the new legislative session kicked off I wrote an editorial saying that it would make life far easier for Idahoans if Idaho dealers were able to use a form on the DMV's website to file for registration and title. We published it and I thought nothing would come of it. After all, making life harder for Idaho's two abortion clinics and further relaxing Idaho's almost-nonexistent gun laws are far more important than saving a third of the state's population from having to spend a day in a DMV office.

Well...a few weeks ago I started noticing something about the temporary tags people are being issued: they don't have an expiration date scrawled across them in Sharpie anymore, they have what looks like a plate number on them. So I got close to a car that has one of them on it and..."plates are on order" is printed on there.

I visited the DMV's website and now on the homepage there's a link Idaho dealers can click to order license plates for customers' cars.

So, yesterday was the Fourth of July Parade. Our managing editor was named Citizen of the Year, so he was in the show. (Today he told me it was a "real strange feeling" being in a parade.) So I'm talking to him about the pictures he'd like me to take, and I just casually mentioned, "hey, you remember that editorial I wrote back in January that said the DMV needs to let dealers register cars online? Well...guess what they're doing now." He got this huge shit-eating grin on his face.

I may not have been the entire reason they made the change, but I like to think I at least had a part in it.

Oh lord: MTG wants to be on Jan. 6 Commission