WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The health-care bill passed by House Republicans earlier this month offers no coverage for injuries suffered as a result of body slamming, according to a report issued on Thursday.
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Costs associated with body slamming, such as X-rays to the elbow and other injured body parts, would have to be paid for out of pocket under the G.O.P. plan, the report says.
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Finally, the report finds, the G.O.P. plan offers no preventive treatment for the severely disturbed people who are the root causes of most body-slamming incidents.

“Medical studies have shown that the costs associated with body-slamming injuries could be greatly reduced by putting the people who cause them in a place where they can do no harm to others,” the report says.
Satire from The Borowtiz Report

NEW YORK ― Hillary Clinton continued her informal speaking tour on Wednesday night, criticizing the Trump administration and hitting back at the idea that women’s issues are only relevant to progressives on the coasts.
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“For a lot of women, it stung to realize that perhaps our country hadn’t come as far as we hoped; that not only are sexism, racism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia still with us, but they run deep,” Clinton said. “And a lot of troubling ideas have been elevated in the weeks and months that followed, including the ridiculous, insulting notion that we only care about women’s rights in certain parts of our country ― not in what some in the press call ‘real America.’”

Clinton pushed back on the idea of a stark divide between that “real America” and the cities that house what the right likes to call “liberal elites,” pointing out that millions of men and women participated in the Women’s March across the country, even outside of urban centers like New York, D.C., Chicago and L.A.

“People care about equal pay everywhere; child care and health care, everywhere; reproductive health care, everywhere,” Clinton said, urging people to continue “reaching out” and working to bring people who share those basic values across the nation together.
via Huffington Post