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Government Housing Structure Infested with Criminals and Rats

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A government-subsidized housing structure has fallen into a dangerous state and has become thoroughly infested with criminals and rats, a leading congressman warned on Saturday.

The building has become “the territory of vicious gangsters who roam freely and consider themselves above the law,” Representative Elijah Cummings, a Democrat of Maryland, said.

The congressman added that notorious gang members took over the housing facility in early 2017 and have “spread terror and despair” there ever since.

“People are scared to be there,” Cummings said. “Hundreds have fled.”

He said that the horrific conditions within the housing complex are one of the nation’s worst-kept secrets. “Many of the people who have fled over the past two years have written books about it,” he said. “But the criminals continue to run wild.”

The congressman said that he was speaking out for the benefit of the residents in his Baltimore, Maryland, district. “I am alarmed that the nation’s worst breeding ground for crime is less than fifty miles from Baltimore,” he said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/government-housing-structure-infested-with-criminals-and-rats



Photograph from Getty

The Smothers Brothers mark their CBS firing 50 years ago

NEW YORK (AP) — Getting fired from work isn’t usually a cause to celebrate. But the Smothers Brothers aren’t your run-of-the-mill comedians.

The duo has stepped out of retirement to commemorate the day 50 years ago when CBS canceled their show over their political impudence.

Tom and Dick Smothers — aged 80 and 82 respectively — reunited Monday for several appearances at the Chautauqua Institution and the nearby National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York.

“It’s really an honor to be honored in this way,” Tom Smothers told The Associated Press on the eve of the events. “At least we’re both alive and not having someone speak for us. We can mumble our own way through.”

The two discussed their firing in an onstage discussion and later unveiled a display of archival material they donated to the center, including their iconic red suit jackets, Tom’s guitar and Dick’s bass, scripts and creative papers, and legal documents.


Read more: https://apnews.com/6e2df9337df04d459f66d519d1daa5aa




FILE - This Oct. 29, 2002 file photo shows The Smothers Brothers, Tom Smothers, left, and Dick Smothers at the Kennedy Center in Washington for the Mark Twain Prize for Humor Award ceremony honoring Bob Newhart. The duo has stepped out of retirement to commemorate the day 50 years ago when CBS canceled their show over their political impudence. The pair reunited Monday, July 29, 2019, for several appearances at the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson, File)