July 31, 2020

Fauci Would Have Thought Twice About Career in Medicine Had He Known It Meant Talking to Jim Jordan

Fauci Would Have Thought Twice About Career in Medicine Had He Known It Meant Someday Talking to Jim Jordan

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Friday that he would have “thought twice” about pursuing a career in medicine had he known that it would lead to his talking someday to Representative Jim Jordan.

Speaking to reporters after his congressional testimony, Fauci said that, during his appearance in the hearing room, he had been revisiting the series of life choices that had resulted in his being forced to hear Jordan speak.

“I could have done so many other things with my life,” the esteemed virologist said. “I could have been a firefighter. I was actually a pretty good dancer back in the day. I could have given that a shot.”

Reflecting on those roads not taken, Fauci added, “Had I chosen any of those fields, you can bet your bottom dollar I wouldn’t have spent today having to listen to Jim Jordan. Those are minutes I’ll never get back.”

Fauci clarified that he was “very grateful” for his career as an an epidemiologist but added, “Let’s not kid ourselves. If I were a professional dancer, there’s about a zero-per-cent chance I would ever be in the same room as Jim Jordan. Oh, well—it is what it is.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/fauci-would-have-thought-twice-about-career-in-medicine-had-he-known-it-meant-someday-talking-to-jim-jordan

July 31, 2020

Reporter Who Broke Gohmert Coronavirus News Shares Reports From GOP Staffers - All In - MSNBC

Jake Sherman: “I’ve gotten emails from across the Capitol—people with comorbidities, preexisting conditions who are forced, or let’s say, heavily encouraged to go into the office during this pandemic. And who are chided for wearing masks.” Aired on 7/30/2020.

July 31, 2020

Morgan Freeman Reads Rep. John Lewis' Last Words - The Last Word - MSNBC

In a special Last Word, Morgan Freeman reads the words of John Lewis’ final essay, which he requested be published in the New York Times on the day of his funeral: “Together, You Can Redeem the Soul of Our Nation.” Aired on 7/30/2020.

July 31, 2020

Steve Schmidt On Trump Attack On Democracy: 'This Is An Autocratic Moment' - All In - MSNBC

“He’s attempting to sow chaos, sow doubt, question the legitimacy of the democratic process,” says Steve Schmidt of Trump’s latest threat to democracy. “He is an illiberal man, this is an autocratic moment.” Aired on 7/30/2020.

July 31, 2020

VoteVets - Puppet

July 31, 2020

John Oliver - Last Week Tonight - The Great Mask Debate

One of the "funny bits" from this week's show...

July 31, 2020

Seth Meyers - Trump Suggests Delaying the Election, Which He Can't Do: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at the president suggesting delaying the November election, which would be a flagrant violation of the Constitution and the law.


Late Night with Seth Meyers is supporting City Harvest to help those in need during the COVID-19 pandemic. City Harvest is New York City’s largest food rescue organization, working to end hunger throughout its communities by rescuing 66 million pounds of food each year and delivering it, free of charge, to hundreds of food pantries, soup kitchens and other community partners across five boroughs. Click the button on the above/below to donate or visit https://www.cityharvest.org/.

July 31, 2020

Seth Meyers - Trump Questions Why Dr. Fauci Has a Higher Approval Rating - Monologue 7/29/20

Fred Armisen, Art Aficionado: Dempsey and Firpo by George Bellows



Fred Armisen describes the history behind a famous piece of art by George Bellows titled Dempsey and Firpo.

July 31, 2020

The Daily Social Distancing Show - Breonna Taylor: Who She Was, How She Died, Why Justice Is Overdue

Here’s the story of Breonna Taylor: who she was, how she was killed, and why justice for her murder is beyond overdue.


Donate to support the NAACP Legal Defense Fund: dailyshow.com/LDF

July 31, 2020

The Daily Social Distancing Show: Bezos's Ex Spreads the Wealth & Trump Shrugs Off Bounty Hunters

This year’s Emmy nominations give major props to Black actors, China pulls some seedy stunts across the U.S., Jeff Bezos’s ex-wife MacKenzie Scott spreads the wealth, and Trump shrugs off reports of Russia placing bounties on American soldiers.

Donate to support the Equal Justice Initiative: dailyshow.com/EqualJusticeInitiative