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Gender: Female
Hometown: Illinois
Home country: USA
Member since: Mon Nov 10, 2003, 12:24 PM
Number of posts: 29,097

Journal Archives

Broncoscopy tomorrow.

Then I wait 1-2 weeks for the results. I am beyond anxious.

A broncospopy on the 20th?

And then a pulmonary function test on the 27th?

All these people do is test me. I have yet to have any treatment. I told my doc about my symptoms and that I thought I had lung cancer on the 26th of July. I am going to die before I have any treatment at all.

If I was scared before,

now I am terrified.

I don't know how the people here keep up their spirits.

I thought I was getting a pulmonary function test today. Instead, it was just another consultation. The pulmonologist was upset that things were delayed by three weeks. Now she just delayed them more. I am getting a covid test on the 24th and a pulmonary function test on the 27th. I thought my lung cancer had not spread. So did my primary care doc. Now it looks like it may be in my spine. I don't know yet. If it is, they cannot remove it. I will get chemo and radiation only. The only thing I can do is wait.

We don't know what kind of lung cancer this is. We don't know if it is stage three or four. I am beyond anxious.

Update on my cancer

I have a pulmonary appointment on Thursday, Sept. 15. There is a tumor in my lower left lobe of my lungs. She (my primary care doc) says it is large, 3.3 x 2.8 cm and it is cancer. Lower lobe tumors do not metastasize as often.

It has not spread into my back. They caught it in time. The treatment I am having is a broncospopy.

I will be getting treatment and I should be able to heal.

I have had one and one-half cigarettes since July 26th, and I am done smoking. I don't care how many cigarettes my husband brings home. That is over.

I am feeling good about things. I know I can beat this.

This is supposed to be an important post,

due to its number. Maybe I should not overshare, but I am terrified.

I have lung cancer. Yes, I smoked for most of my adult life. I have quit many times, unsuccessfully. I swear it is hard because there is another smoker in the house. When I decide to cheat, I just reach out for my hubby's pack of smokes.

Please send prayers, healing vibes, whatever you think will help. I have a great deal of guilt and fear.

I have a couple of other medical problems that may or may not be connected to this, I don't know.

I fell on August 8 and had a brain bleed. I got up in the night to use the bathroom. There are boxes and bags strewn around our house because the kitchen and laundry room are being remodeled. I ended up in the hospital for five days. I had already had the CT scan, where they found the lung mass. They did not schedule me to go back until 9/7. I will find out then if this is malignant, I think.

A whole month! That terrifies me. Maybe I am too far gone to be helped. I am 74. The mass is greater than 8mm and is a solitary pulmonary module.

Maybe 74 is too old to ask for help.

I am also being scanned for compression fractures to my spine. I have osteoporosis. This is the third time I have had compression fractures. I hope the cancer has not metastasized to my spine. I picked up a microwave and carried it back to the kitchen because my husband would not help. It was too much for my back. He cooperates when he feels like it.

I will not know results until 9/13. That is a long time.

I will keep you posted. I am only asking for support, not medical advice. I am sure I will have all sorts of doctors weighing in.

If I sound critical of my husband, well, I know he is in shock, too. He does not know how to react.

The republicans are sending migrants

to New York City and DC. There must be something we can send them. Can anyone think of a way to "thank" them?

This is an older article,

but it shows what should be done during a school shooting:


Dixon is close to me. It is the hometown of St. Ronnie. However, it does have a vital and growing Democratic minority and an activist group loosely affiliated with Indivisible.

Only a few members of my family

want to talk about my brother's death. He died the last week of August.

My cousins change the subject. My mother says she thinks about him every once in a while. She is like TFG, a malignant narcissist. My brother did not like her very much. She talks about everything but his death. My youngest brother has been very matter of fact, but does not want to share any feelings.

My brother had a good friend, Karl. They met through work. Karl is odd. My SIL and I are pretty sure he is on the spectrum. I have always liked him and shared a bond with him and his wife. He will talk to me about my brother's death and how we both miss him. Karl will share, and he is not even family.

My daughters and my husband are just as disappointing. No luck there. My son called me and shared some of his feelings. Then he came out to visit with me. He is a little better than the rest of them. He helped his sister a lot when her first husband died. He took care of the many practical details. We all supported her. We spoke with her daily for a long time. Now there is nothing.

My brother and his wife had been separated, but not divorced, for many years. His youngest daughter took care of a lot of the details. But his children and wife have nothing to say. And one of his daughters should know better. She lost her husband two years ago. She has three young children. She has had all kinds of support.

Other than Karl, I feel like I am sitting on an island.

Madigan indicted!


Former House Speaker Michael Madigan has been indicted on criminal charges as part of an ongoing federal political corruption investigation, sources say.

The once powerful politician has been charged with a racketeering conspiracy and bribery with longtime political condifant Michael McClain.

Madigan is now one of the most significant politicians in Illinois history ever to face criminal charges, despite having left office more than a year ago. The news is the culmination of one of the most significant, expansive public corruption investigations Illinois has seen in years, already leaving an indelible mark on state politics by knocking Madigan out of power on January 2021.

The powerful Southwest Side Side Democrat had held his seat in the state House of Representative since 1971 and served as speaker for all but two years between 1983 and 2020.

Holy shit. I never thought I would see this.

Thanks for the hearts!

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