January 28, 2012

Bulwer-Lytton Contest Winners 2011 - I can't believe I missed it this year!

Some highlights:

The victim was a short man, with a face full of contradictions: amalgam, composite, dental porcelain, with both precious and non-precious metals all competing for space in a mouth that was open, bloody, terrifying, gaping, exposing a clean set of asymptomatic impacted wisdom teeth, but clearly the object of some very comprehensive dental care, thought Dirk Graply, world-famous womanizer, tough guy, detective, and former dentist.

Basil McDonnell

Vancouver, B.C.

Within the smoking ruins of Keister Castle, Princess Gwendolyn stared in horror at the limp form of the loyal Centaur who died defending her very honor; “You may force me to wed,” she cried at the leering and victorious Goblin King, “but you’ll never be half the man he was.”

Terri Daniel

Seattle, WA

Napoleon’s ship tossed and turned as the emperor, listening while his generals squabbled as they always did, splashed the tepid waters in his bathtub.

John Doble

New York City

The Los Angeles morning was heavy with smog, the word being a portmanteau of smoke and fog, though in LA the pollutants are typically vehicular emissions as opposed to actual smoke and fog, unlike 19th-century London where the smoke from countless small coal fires often combined with fog off the Thames to produce true smog, though back then they were not clever enough to call it that.

Jack Barry

Shelby, NC

Maggie said they were birthmarks and they very well could be, but the three very small black moles in a horizontal line just above her right eyebrow looked like an ellipsis to some, but to others who did not know what an ellipsis was, they looked like three very small black moles in a horizontal line just above Maggie's right eyebrow.

Betty Jean Murray

Richland, TX

Wearily approaching the murder scene of Jeannie and Quentin Rose and needing to determine if this was the handiwork of the Scented Strangler--who had a twisted affinity for spraying his victims with his signature raspberry cologne--or that of a copycat, burnt-out insomniac detective Sonny Kirkland was sure of one thing: he’d have to stop and smell the Roses.

Mark Wisnewski
Flanders, NJ

As I stood among the ransacked ruin that had been my home, surveying the aftermath of the senseless horrors and atrocities that had been perpetrated on my family and everything I hold dear, I swore to myself that no matter where I had to go, no matter what I had to do or endure, I would find the man who did this . . . and when I did, when I did, oh, there would be words.

Rodney Reed
Ooltewah, TN

As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand—who would take her away from all this—and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.

Ali Kawashima

Greensboro, NC

Deanna waited for him in a deliberate pose on the sailor-striped chaise lounge of the newly-remodeled Ramada, her bustier revealing the tops of her white breasts like eggs--eggs of the slightly undercooked, hard-boiled variety, showing a nascent jiggle with her apprehensive breath, eggs that were then peeled ever-so-carefully so as not to pierce the jellied, opaque albumen and unleash the longing, viscous yolk within--yes, she lay there, oblong and waiting to be deviled.

Meredith K. Gray

Ithaca, NY


And the winner:

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

Sue Fondrie

Oshkosh, WI


http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2011.htm

January 26, 2012

Would the world be better with or without Christianity?

Thought Experiment:

Let's just say we could convince every Christian that Christianity is untrue, a myth, and convince them not to practice it. Similar to a question Prof. Dawkins once asked Christopher Hitchens. But let's postulate for a moment that this could be achieved. Would it do any good? Would it do any harm? Or would it do nothing?

I opt for the latter. In reference to Dawkins' quote that "for good men to do evil, it takes religion," I argue lots of things can trigger a good man to do evil. Psychoses, hallucinations, fear, and the influence of drugs can make a person commit evil. And when I mention fear, I am not referring to Xenophobic fear, but more the 'seeing a shape moving in the night, and you shoot at it first' type of fear.

Christianity, and all religions for that matter, are pretty much what the believer makes of them.

Yes, there are cultic tendencies, and these are never more apparent than in Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christianity. But in the end, these are more the fault of authoritarianism, of cult of personality or manipulation. The same thing happens at a Lyndon LaRouche movement, or a Maoist uprising, or in North Korea.

But many people choose religion for mundane reasons. The believer likes the congregation, or the church has a great youth program, or the believer really likes hymns. Or, as in many cases, the believer wants to change the world for the better.

Now, I am not advocating theism with this thread, but at the same time I am not viewing Christianity as all good or all bad. It is a tradition conceived at a time before germ theory, before genetics, before the theory of evolution - even before we knew the Earth was round. Like any tradition, it has changed with time, and has had reactions against those changes.

As any revolutionary will tell you, large sweeping changes usually don't occur during times of oppression, but during times when certain freedoms were extended, then taken away. Think the US after WWII, USSR after Glasnost, and a current example is Syria.

And of course, with every large sweeping change there is a backlash. But I digress.

Your thoughts?

January 22, 2012

I Am Proud to be 'Of This World.' POTW.

Anyone here ever see the "NOTW" stickers on the backs of cars, usually with some kind of crown of thorns or cross motif?

Fundie slogan: it stands for "Not of this World."

They believe something mystical happens when they dedicate their life to Jesus, walk down the sawdust trail, and - PRAISE THE LORD! - they are now an official member of True Christianity. Born again. If they're Pentecostal, they have to speak in tongues (babble incoherently) aka baptized in the spirit - but I digress.

They are then one of the elect, and are 'not of this world,' because the world is really evil, and Satan's Place (kind of like Peyton Place, but with a lot more sin) and they are not of here.

Christianity is, after all, at it's core a misanthropic philosophy. And it's the pitfall in thinking of every religion. That there is, out there, a reality that is more real than the one we are experiencing. And as long as you do everything decided in some very old books, when no one had photography, or a reliable method of recording data, or any knowledge of anything other than what they could see and hear. Run on sentence, I know.

But I am Proud of this World!

I am ALIVE - NOW - HERE

As they say any day above ground is better than one under it.

And I am immensely lucky to be here.

Of course, if I weren't here I wouldn't be anywhere would I ?

January 22, 2012

Bansky and Danger Mouse - "That's Hot" - your thoughts?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5310416.stm

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharl/sets/72157594266743665/

January 21, 2012

I am fucked up out of my gourd. Please help me remember this...

Please help me remember to love my kids...

Please help me remember to love my wife...

Please help me remember my music...

Please help me remember my album...

Please help me remember...

I am only, that which, I, am.....

January 20, 2012

I think that MLKjr, Roosevelt (both),Malcolm X, and all writers on the 'fringe'...

Did more for America than anyone in the Main-Stream Anything!

Seriously this is where we shine....

January 17, 2012

Burt Bacharach - Make it Easy on Yourself

Let me start by saying I grew up with this album.

As early as I can remember, we traveled in either the Saab or the Dodge Van. This was pre-minvan. This was 1973-79.

Anyway, dad liked playing Wagner and Country. Especially Merle Haggard's "Okie from Miskogkie."

He was not an Okie who moved to Bakersfield during the Dust Bowl, but a Military Brat from the midwest who moved here after having one too many miserable winters in the midwest.

Besides, during the 50s and 60s, SF was about as pleasurable on all accounts as you could imagine.

Anyway - nuff about my dad.

Let's talk about my mom....

She grew up in Flint, MI. Second and final daughter of a seamstress and an auto worker of Polish/Jewish decent. Catholic, however.

Equal Rights for women seemed unattainable.

She was a Stewardess (now called "Flight Attendant&quot for a major airline.

You could not ask for a more prone-to-sexual harassment job.

The TV show Pan Am barely scratches the surface in her opinion.

Anyway, rebelling against dad became a spectator sport.

This is where Burt Bacharach comes in.

Remember what I said about dad and Wagner/Militant Country (even if Merle was pulling a Colbert.)

Anyway, this was her protest against dad's Wagner and Wingnuttery during the 70s.

And I liked it. Damn, if Burt Bacharach wasn't catchy shit!

This was the soundtrack of the grey Dodge van in the mid-to-late seventies.

January 13, 2012

Anyone here, deep in their heart, an Anarchist?

I don't mean necessarily politically, but one who holds deep feelings of anti-authority.

One who believes authority and respect should be earned and not simply given

One who detests authority of all forms, and sees it as the ultimate corrupter?

One who feels that more work gets done in a communal fashion, than in a hierarchical one...

Because that's me

January 13, 2012

Pete Seeger did anything and everything he could

If we could only be like that

I am not like that - I am lukewarm, when it comes to action, at best

But I would bet most of you are too, in your own ways

Pete Seeger showed up and showed US our better selves

He taught us how to play banjo and sing, at the least

--------------------------------

Let's let 2012 be a year when we allow the best of ourselves to thrive

Let's let 2012 be the year when we, the people, take charge

Seeger is getting old

Soon he won't be with us

If you can't die for something, you must live for something

This is the spirit of Steinbeck, Hemingway, and of course Pete Seeger

--------------------------------

The Paris Commune and the Second Spanish Republic had two things in common. The first, was the fact that they sought the opinion of everyone. Anarchism, Socialism, Communism, Social Democracy, and Republicanism all were encouraged, invited and made the decisions.

The idea is that the workers should make decisions about their conditions.

We could all learn, and succeed with that.

Yes, these attempts were quelled, but we will always want this.

A fair deal.

We just want a fair deal, that is all.

And if we band together, we can get it.

January 7, 2012

Maude from "Harold and Maude" was an anarchist! In the best sense of the word.

One of my favorite movies.

Maude is Emma Goldman, transported to the 70s. Mikhail Bakunin without the beard.

Examples:

Maude: [gesturing to a sick tree growing through a sidewalk] Harold, we have *got* to do something about this life.
Harold: What?
Maude: We'll transplant it. To the forest.
Harold: You can't do that.
Maude: Why not?
Harold: This is public property.
Maude: Well, *exactly*.

Harold: You hop in any car you want and just drive off?
Maude: Well, not any car - I like to keep a variety. I'm always looking for the new experience.
Harold: [smiling] Maybe.
Harold: [more seriously] Nevertheless, I think you're upsetting people. I don't know if that's right.
Maude: Well, if some people get upset because they feel they have a hold on some things, I'm merely acting as a gentle reminder: here today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things *now.* With *that* in mind, I'm not against collecting stuff.

Maude: [to a motorcycle officer] *Don't* get officious. You're not yourself when you're officious - That is the curse of a government job.

Maude: You know, at one time, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing... oh my, how the world still *dearly* loves a *cage.*

Maude: Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.

Maude: Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much *life.* Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully.



Harold is who we are.

Maude is what we all wish we could be.







If you haven't seen this flick, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go right out and see it.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6bseuc3iRNw/TaH6qWvl78I/AAAAAAAAABw/yxj1i3rywhw/s1600/Harold+and+Maude+1971.jpg