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Initech

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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 93,526

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Dumb Criminals: Cleveland Medieval Swordfighters Call Cops Over Stolen Weed

WESTLAKE, Ohio -- A Bay Village man who told police that he and a friend had been robbed -- but failed to tell reveal that the robbery took place during a drug deal -- appeared in Rocky River Municipal Court on Tuesday.

Police said Sebastian Wozniak and another man were robbed when they tried to sell marijuana to a group of teenagers. When police questioned him and the other man about the robbery, they neglected to say that the theft took place during an attempted drug deal, police said.

Wozniak was charged with trafficking marijuana, obstructing justice and possessing criminal tools. Those charges were bound over to a Cuyahoga County grand jury, but were eventually returned to Rocky River Municipal Court and reduced to misdemeanors. He pleaded guilty to the reduced charges and on Tuesday the case was set for sentencing.

Klier faces charges of trafficking marijuana and obstructing justice. Both charges have been bound over to a Cuyahoga County grand jury.

http://www.cleveland.com/westlake/index.ssf/2014/01/two_men_neglected_to_tell_inve.html


The 34th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards Have Been Announced

Jaden Smith’s “After Earth” and Johnny Depp’s “The Lone Ranger” among (dis)honorees

Adam Sandler dominated the Razzie Awards Wednesday, as voters for Hollywood’s most dubious honor, showered “Grown Ups 2″ with eight nominations.

The annual awards recognize the worst movies and performances. Sandler’s comedy sequel was panned by critics, earning a doleful 7 percent “fresh” rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and now is in the running for Worst Film, Worst Actor, and Worst Supporting Actor and Actress for Taylor Lautner and Salma Hayek. If Sandler wins Worst Actor, it will be his third victory in a row, coming on the heels of “That’s My Boy” and “Jack & Jill.”

WORST PICTURE

AFTER EARTH

GROWN-UPS 2

THE LONE RANGER

A MADEA CHRISTMAS

MOVIE 43



WORST ACTOR

Johnny Depp / THE LONE RANGER

Ashton Kutcher / JOBS

Adam Sandler / GROWN-UPS 2

Jaden Smith / AFTER EARTH

Sylvester Stallone / BULLET TO THE HEAD, ESCAPE PLAN and GRUDGE MATCH



WORST ACTRESS

Halle Berry / THE CALL and MOVIE 43

Selena Gomez / GETAWAY

Lindsay Lohan / THE CANYONS

Tyler Perry / A MADEA CHRISTMAS

Naomi Watts / DIANA and MOVIE 43



WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Lady Gaga / MACHETTE KILLS

Salma Hayek / GROWN-UPS 2

Katherine Heigl / THE BIG WEDDING

Kim Kardashian / Tyler Perry’s TEMPTATION

Lindsay Lohan / IN-APP-PROPRIATE COMEDY and SCARY MOVIE 5



WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Chris Brown / BATTLE OF THE YEAR

Larry the Cable Guy / A MADEA CHRISTMAS

Taylor Lautner / GROWN-UPS 2

Will Smith / AFTER EARTH

Nick Swardson / A HAUNTED HOUSE and GROWN-UPS 2



WORST DIRECTOR

The 13 People Who Directed MOVIE 43

Dennis Dugan / GROWN-UPS 2

Tyler Perry / A MADEA CHRISTMAS and TEMPTATION

M. Night Shyamalan / AFTER EARTH

Gore Verbinski / THE LONE RANGER



WORST SCREEN COMBO

The Entire Cast of GROAN-UPS, TOO

The Entire Cast of MOVIE 43

Lindsay Lohan & Charlie Sheen / SCARY MOVIE 5

Tyler Perry & EITHER Larry the Cable Guy OR That Worn-Out Wig & Dress / A MADEA XMAS

Jaden Smith & Will Smith on Planet Nepotism / AFTER EARTH



WORST SCREENPLAY

AFTER EARTH Screenplay by Gary Whitta and M. Night Shyamalan, Story by Will Smith

GROWN-UPS 2 Written by Fred Wolfe & Adam Sandler & Tim Herlihy

THE LONE RANGER Screen Story & Screenplay by Ted Elliott, Justin Haythe & Terry Rosso

A MADEA CHRISTMAS Written by Tyler Perry

MOVIE 43 Written by 19 “Screenwriters”



WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL

GROWN-UPS 2

HANGOVER III

THE LONE RANGER

SCARY MOVIE 5

SMURFS 2

http://www.thewrap.com/razzie-nominations-adam-sandler-grown-ups-2-dominate-worst-honors/


Pastor Who Is 49ers Superfan Gives One Minute Sermon So He Can Watch Game (video at link)

Pastor Tim Christensen has taken 49er Faithful to a whole new level. A diehard 49er fan since his days growing up in the Sunset District, the Lutheran minister had a mighty conflict Sunday: services at his Gold Hill Evangelical Lutheran Church in Butte, Mont., were scheduled to begin at the same time as the 49ers’ playoff game against Carolina.

Not to worry. Pastor Tim, a 1978 Lincoln High graduate, stepped onto the altar, asked the congregants if they were aware that there was a football game going on at the moment, asked if they would like to be forgiven for their sins — they responded in the affirmative — and he said, “OK, you are.”

He then invited the people to receive bread and wine, does a “Kaepernick” biceps-kissing move, pulls apart his vestments to reveal a 49er t-shirt, says “I’m out of here” and walks off the altar.

http://blog.sfgate.com/49ers/2014/01/13/pastors-passions-god-and-the-49ers/

Dumb Criminals: Parrot Rats Out Mexican DUI Suspect To Police: "He's Drunk!"

A Mexican motorist was busted drunken driving after his pet parakeet ratted him out to police.

Guillermo Reyes, 49, was pulled over by traffic officers at a routine alcohol checkpoint in Mexico City last week.

As he got out of his blue Chevy to be tested, cops heard a voice saying: "He's drunk, he's drunk."

RELATED: MAN BUSTED FOR THROWING PARROT AT COPS: POLICE

At first, they thought someone else was inside the vehicle.

But, on closer inspection, they were stunned to see it was Reyes' beloved bird turned snitch.

El Universal reports that Reyes was indeed found to be drunk and was subsequently arrested.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/parrot-rats-driver-cops-drunk-article-1.1578921#ixzz2qOWITG2Q


Police Find Real Blue Meth In Albequerque, NM

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — Reality in the illegal drug world is mimicking fiction.

Kevin Abar, assistant special agent in charge of Homeland Security Investigations in New Mexico, says distributors are selling methamphetamine tinted blue in the Four Corners region.

That mirrors AMC's hit drama "Breaking Bad," which depicted an Albuquerque-based meth operation that cooked up the drug with a blue hue.

Abar says tinting meth blue is a way for distributors to advertise and brand their product.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/14/blue-meth-new-mexico_n_4596108.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news


Dumb Criminals: Mayfair, PA Police On The Lookout For "Swiss Cheese Pervert"

GENTLEMEN prefer blondes. This guy prefers Swiss.

As in cheese - the kind normally found sandwiched between corned beef and rye on a Reuben. But this particular man is using his dairy products to satisfy a different craving.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the "Swiss Cheese Pervert" has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

According to the group, the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/news/20140112__Swiss_cheese_pervert__terrorizes_Mayfair.html#QmwwzMp8afTbk1lh.99


Dumb Criminals: Teenage DUI Suspect Hid Treasure Trove In Rectum

Pennsylvania police found something else when they took a suspected teenaged drunk driver into custody: buried treasure.

Back in December, Christopher Scheller, 18, appeared intoxicated after he crashed into a tree in southern York County, Harrisburg’s WHTM-TV reports.

After being taken to a hospital, X-rays discovered something odd in Scheller’s rectum. A closer look uncovered the following:

– Four bracelets
– Four necklaces
– 11 ladies rings
– A socket wrench
– A bag of synthetic marijuana

Investigators believe he stole those items and quickly stashed them in his bum when officers first approached him.

He has been charged with theft and DUI and remains in custody on $75,000 bail.

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2014/01/10/police-find-treasure-trove-in-teens-bum/#19536101=0


Alan Keyes Asks Jesus To Help Him Impeach Obama

Ever since the 2004 senatorial election, Alan Keyes has devoted himself entirely to hating Barack Obama and trying to undermine him as much as possible.

This has included challenges to his birth certificate and the oath of office, peddling conspiracy theories, and of course, calling nonstop for his impeachment, most recently calling on Americans to elect an entire 2014 congress based on the one single issue of trying to impeach Obama and remove him from office.

Apparently, Keyes has had a difficult time trying to get anyone beyond the usual anarchists, fascists and psychopaths to support his effort.

Nothing else could explain why, in a column at (where else?) WorldNetDaily, Keyes, after the usual rantings and ravings about how Obama is a "hardcore socialist" who, "as gangsters typically do, they encourage whatever vices they can manipulate" and has "worked to disparage, undermine and discard the U.S. Constitution," Keyes calls on Jesus Christ to aide in his impeachment efforts.

http://www.examiner.com/article/alan-keyes-calls-on-jesus-christ-to-help-him-impeach-obama


Really???

Children's Fight At Chuck E Cheese Turns Into All-Out Brawl

"Food was flying and drinks then she took the metal thing off the table and threw it," she recalled, adding that one of the family members pulled out pepper spray, affecting everyone inside the restaurant.

"I was just thinking a gun was going to come out next. Thankfully it didn't," she said.

Most of the people involved in the fight left before Fort Myers Police arrived. No arrests were made, and the restaurant kicked out anyone involved.

Chuck E. Cheese released the following statement in response to the fight:

"We are deeply saddened that individuals would choose to behave in this manner in front of children and families. We take altercations in our stores very seriously and have spent more than $15 million to date on measures to help ensure the safety of our guests. As an environment dedicated to serving young children and families, Chuck E. Cheese's will not tolerate violence of any kind in our stores."

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-buzz/huge-brawl-breaks-chuck-e-cheese-yet-again-152826986.html




It's Official: Time Travellers Don't Use Twitter

It's the science news you've all been waiting for: Time travellers do not use Twitter.

That's according to an experiment to discover if anybody jumping between the ages has ever let word of their travels slip by referring to events which have not yet happened on social networking sites.

Spurred on by a discussion at a card game last summer, Astrophysicist Robert Nemiroff and a team of researchers based at Michigan Technological University reasoned that if future generations had found a way to go back in time, they might leave clues to their adventures on social media websites. Unfortunately, after searching for terms relating to two recent events - Pope Francis and Comet ISON - there were no references to the former. One reference to the latter was probably just a fluke.

http://www.kansascity.com/2014/01/06/4733113/back-to-the-future-time-travel.html


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