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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 93,510

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Easthampton Kid Gets Tongue Stuck To Metal Pole, Rescue Workers Called In

Firefighters in Easthampton, Massachusetts, were called to help extricate a student’s tongue from a metal pole at White Brook Middle School this week, The Republican reports. The student’s age and gender were not released, and Fire Chief David Mottor told the newspaper that firefighters freed the frozen tongue by pouring hot water on it.

The incident is straight out of the movie A Christmas Story (1983), in which a character named Flick is triple-dog-dared to touch his tongue to a metal pole on a cold day. Triple-dog-dares being to children what free fedoras are to creepy pickup artists, Flick cannot resist, even though he knows deep down it’s not going to turn out well. Sure enough, his tongue gets stuck to the pole.


Dumb Criminals: Staffordshire Woman Catches Boyfriend Cheating... With Her Dog

A Louth man admitted having sex with his girlfriend's dog after a video of the act was found on a mobile phone.

Wayne Bryson, 19, Harvey's Lane, admitted performing an act of sexual penetration with the Staffordshire bull terrier on January 17, contrary to the Sexual Offences Act.

He also admitted to possessing 315 grammes of cannabis bush on January 22 when he appeared before Skegness Magistrates' Court.

Nick Todd, prosecuting, said Bryson’s girlfriend was looking for some photographs on an old phone of Bryson’s when she saw the video of him having full intercourse with her dog.

Read more: http://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/Louth-man-admits-having-sex-girlfriend-s-dog/story-20612351-detail/story.html#ixzz2tLDBZMJv

Race Horse Tests Positive For Viagra, Trainer Under Investigation

Renowned quarter horse trainer John Stinebaugh has been suspended for 16 years, fined $40,000 and ordered to forfeit $8,000 in purses after four horses under his care tested positive for Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra.
Quarter horse trainer John Stinebaugh has been suspended for 16 years, fined $40,000 and ordered to forfeit $8,000 in purses by the New Mexico Racing Commission. (Courtesy of Greg Thompson/StallioneSearch.com)

Quarter horse trainer John Stinebaugh has been suspended for 16 years, fined $40,000 and ordered to forfeit $8,000 in purses by the New Mexico Racing Commission. (Courtesy of Greg Thompson/StallioneSearch.com)

New Mexico Racing Commission executive director Vince Mares said the sanctions were issued Monday by the Sunland Park board of stewards after a Saturday hearing.

The discipline stems from four horses testing positive for the drug during July 5-6 trials for the $1 million Rainbow Futurity and $1.05 million Rainbow Derby at Ruidoso Downs.

The Association of Racing Commissioners International lists Sildenafil as a Class 3 drug that carries a Class A penalty – the most severe of three categories of recommended penalties.

Sildenafil citrate, the active ingredient in the human erectile dysfunction drug Viagra, is illegal in horse racing, because it increases cardiac output and can boost a race horse’s on-track performance.


Dumb Criminals: Chula Vista Church Thief Arrested After Taking Selfie At Scene Of Crime

CHULA VISTA — This was one selfie the taker probably regrets.

Adam Howe, a suspect in a Chula Vista church burglary, was arrested this week after police found a photo he had apparently snapped of himself on a cellphone left at the scene.

Howe, 26, is also wanted on felony theft charges in Indiana, authorities there said.

Chula Vista police responded to a report of a ransack burglary Monday night at Hilltop Tabernacle Church on L Street near Third Avenue, Capt. Lon Turner said. The incident happened sometime after 10:30 p.m.

The church building had been broken into, as well as an RV that was parked nearby. A laptop computer was taken, along with cash, several purses and watches.


Sinkhole Opens Up In National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Swallows 8 Rare Corvettes

BOWLING GREEN, Ky. (AP) — A sinkhole collapsed part of the National Corvette Museum in Kentucky on Wednesday, damaging eight there but not shutting down the facility.

Museum spokeswoman Katie Frassinelli said six of the cars were owned by the museum and two — a 1993 ZR-1 Spyder and a 2009 ZR1 Blue Devil — were on loan from General Motors.

Bowling Green city spokeswoman Kim Lancaster said the hole opened up at about 5:40 a.m. CST Wednesday, setting off an alarm and a call to the fire department. Frassinelli said no one was in the museum at the time.

The hole is in part of the domed section of the museum, and that area will remain closed. That's an original part of the facility for which was completed in 1994.

Frassinelli said the rest of the museum was open Wednesday.


Dumb Criminals: Wisconsin Man Accused Of Throwing Ribs At Cars

RACINE (WITI) — 34-year-old Sharquon Liggins faces a misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct for allegedly throwing pieces of meat at passing vehicles.

According to the criminal complaint in this case, police were called to S. Memorial Dr. for a report of a man throwing meat as passing vehicles. When the officer got on the scene, he found “approximately 15 – 20 pieces of frozen meat which looked like pork ribs in the roadway. The pieces of meat were scattered across all four lanes of traffic.”

The investigating officer located a plastic grocery bag with more frozen pork ribs in a front yard nearby — and determined Liggins lived at that home.


New Zealand Airport Authorities Confiscate Donkey Penis

A declaration of food items revealed an unusual delicacy during inspections at Wellington Airport.

Ministry for Primary Industries staff confiscated a donkey's penis after a Chinese man re-entered the country late last month.

The 29 centimetre-long penis and other donkey meat items were destroyed as they were deemed to be a biosecurity risk.


Dumb Criminals: Texas Man Wearing Banana Costume, Carrying Visible AK-47 Arrested For Soliciting

A Beaumont, Tex. man was cited by police on Saturday for standing at an intersection in a banana costume with an AK-47 rifle strapped across his back.

The man was promoting the grand opening of the Golden Triangle Tactical gun shop, store owner Derek Poe told 12 News Now. The man was holding a sign for the newly-opened store along with the rifle.

The 18-year-old man had a drum magazine with a 50-round capacity attached to the rifle, police told 12 Now News. He was detained briefly and cited for soliciting near a roadway, a police spokesperson said.


Dumb Criminals: Chainsaw Weilding Gas Station Robber Caught Wearing Flower Pot On Head

6AM, UPDATE: An Ipswich teenager is accused of going on a drunken late-night chainsaw rampage inside a petrol station while wearing a flower pot on his head.

Police rushed to the 7-Eleven service station on Ash St, Flinders View, following calls for help from two terrified shop attendants.

It will be alleged the man - who was wearing a flower pot over his head in an attempt to conceal his identity - entered the store about 4.30am on Monday, while two staff members were cleaning a coffee machine.

Wielding a chainsaw which was running at the time, the man lunged at the store attendants, who retreated into a back room.


Fox Business Channel Host Claims The Lego Movie Has A Liberal Agenda

On Fox Business Channel Friday morning, host Charles Payne went on the attack. With a banner reading “Hollywood Hates Business” under him, Payne began his rant, showing a crazy level of disconnect. Showing a short clip of “The Lego Movie” villain, President Business, he noted that the animated character “looks a bit like Mitt Romney.” Um. If you see your corporate leader-cum-failed Presidential candidate in an animated blocky, Lego character… That’s on you.

Payne’s guest, media analyst Paul Dergarabedian, tries to answer Payne’s question…

“Why is the head of a corporation, where they hire people, people go to work, they pay their rent, their mortgage, they put their kids through college, they feed their families, they give to charities, they give to churches — why would the CEO be an easy target?”

… but he can’t. Oh, he gives it a good Fox Business spin. But in the end, all he can really say is that ”The Lego Movie” will get kids “thinking about business.” Now, that is how a desperate Fox talking head spins something. Gotta give the guy an “A” for effort.


Now I really want to see it!

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