Initech
Initech's JournalPaging Stephen Colbert: New Hampshire Police Blame Recent Wave Of Car Break Ins On Bears
The break-ins have been reported over the past several weeks. Multiple cars have been targeted and damaged, and its all happening in the same neighborhood.
Ted Phillips truck was one of them.
"Both doors were open when I came outside, said Phillips.
So was a Pontiac Vibe driven by Stacy Sand.
"She came in and said, 'I think you need to come out here,'" said Sand.
No car suffered more damage than Terry Leavitt's.
Read more: http://www.wmur.com/news/bear-responsible-for-car-breakins-in-north-conway-police-say/25903582#ixzz31dxTc1UW
Call Stephen Colbert quick!
Dumb Criminals: Louisiana Man Drives Drunk To Police Station To File Report
Online booking records indicate Patrick Ruffner of Gonzales was in the East Baton Rouge Parish jail Monday with bond set at $1,000.
Trooper Jared Sandifer says Ruffner called state police Saturday, saying his vehicle was struck by a hit-and-run driver on Interstate 10 in Baton Rouge. He was told to come to Troop A's offices to fill out a crash report.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/12/patrick-ruffner-_n_5311537.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news
Donald Sterling Doubles Down On The Racism In Anderson Cooper Interview
In the interview with Anderson Cooper that aired Monday night on CNN, Sterling said Johnson, who is HIV positive, is not "a good example for the children of Los Angeles."
"He's got AIDS," Sterling said. "... Is this someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed of himself. I think he should go into the background."
Immediately following the conclusion of Game 4 between the Miami Heat and Brooklyn Nets, NBA commissioner Adam Silver released a statement, once again apologizing to Johnson on behalf of the league.
"I just read a transcript of Donald Sterling's interview with Anderson Cooper and while Magic Johnson doesn't need me to, I feel compelled on behalf of the NBA family to apologize to him that he continues to be dragged into this situation and be degraded by such a malicious and personal attack," the statement read. "The NBA Board of Governors is continuing with its process to remove Mr. Sterling as expeditiously as possible."
http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/10921035/donald-sterling-banned-los-angeles-clippers-owner-says-magic-johnson-not-good-example-los-angeles-kids
Florida Man Sent To Hospital After Attempting To Have Sex With Beer Can
Beer can - Photo: AnArt.
The unnamed and rather embarrassed man from Barto reports to have been out in the town trying to find a lady friend to mate with, when he came home on his own, on Wednesday.
The Florida man said that he was "extremely horny". That's when he grabbed an empty beer can, and began to "try to make love to it".
http://www.whizba.com/article/51711008638/Weird/Florida-man-tries-to-have-sex-with-beer-can-ends-up-in-hospital./#.U3FB49FlA0M
The US Air Force Is Not Afraid Of Godzilla
"He shoots friggin' lightning out of his mouth, he kills kaiju, he can go into space, and he can fly with no wings. Japanese tanks, helicopters, and artillery can't take him out. Even when they were able to kill him, he comes back to life," Chief Warrant Officer Bryan Campbell told HuffPost Weird News.
"I don't think the Air Force could take Godzilla, and I don't even think the Army or anybody in the world could take him," Campbell added.
Dad's right (and he can totally beat up your dad). Godzilla is nearly 350 feet tall and was born from nuclear waste. Nukes won't work. F-15s won't work. And .50-caliber machine guns sure as hell won't work -- Godzilla beat Mechagodzilla.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/air-force-claims-could-take-godzilla_n_5289086.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news
Dumb Criminals: Couple Accused Of Having Sex On Church Lawn In Front Of Wedding
As one couple exchanged vows at a Salt Lake City church altar, police say they were called to break up another couple engaging in sex acts on the church lawn.
An officer flagged down by a wedding guest outside Sacred Heart Catholic Church reported seeing the two transients in the throes of passion about 6 p.m. Saturday.
"I walked over to the couple and I physically saw the sex act," Officer Rich Stone wrote in a graphic, detailed police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/cops-break-couple-sex-act-church-lawn-article-1.1781710#ixzz31BkthmX0
Florida Cops Accused Of Breaking Into City Hall To Use Bathroom
The report, prepared by Lt. Josh Cramer of the Office of Professional Standards, states that a door lock that leads to City Hall "was allegedly manipulated and defeated at the hands of" Ross Johnson and another detective, whose name was redacted from the 20-page document.
Johnson is no longer employed with the Bradenton Police Department, officials confirmed Monday.
The investigation started after City Clerk and Treasurer Carl Callahan complained to Police Chief Michael Radzilowski, according to the report. Callahan reportedly provided a USB storage device containing City Hall surveillance footage.
Read more here: http://www.bradenton.com/2014/05/05/5138481/bradenton-police-detectives-under.html?sp=/99/100/&ihp=1#storylink=cpy
Dumb Criminals: 7 Year Old Brings Grandma's Heroin To School
Read more from WFMZ.com at: http://www.wfmz.com/news/news-regional-southeasternpa/grandmother-arrested-after-7yrold-brings-heroin-to-school/25815172
Connect with us! Facebook/69WFMZ or @69News
OK let's get one thing straight about this Monica Lewinsky Crap.
Yes it's slut shaming. Yes it's a shitty situation.
But let's not forget what it really is. BULLSHIT. Pure unaltered, straight from Bullshit Mountain, grade A , 100% cold filtered bullshit.
It's meant to distract us and keep us divided while the powers that be quietly nominate a puppet like Rand Paul who's a yes man and caters exclusively to the best interests of the corporate criminals. While we're fighting about events that happened 20 fucking years ago, the Republicans are getting ready for a sweep of the House and Senate this year and a landslide victory in 2016. It's an effort to discredit Hillary Clinton from running. That's all it is. The media, the corporate criminals, the Kochs, they want Rand Paul, and with full control, he'll be way more dangerous than any number of George or Jeb Bush's.
Is that what you want? Let's stop playing into the bullshit and get out there. Back to posting.
Boston Bruins' President Denounces The Fans' Post Game Racist Tweets
"The racist, classless views expressed by an ignorant group of individuals following Thursday's game via digital media are in no way a reflection of anyone associated with the Bruins organization," Neely said in a statement issued by the team. Game 2 is Saturday.
Subban, who is black, scored his second goal of the game at 4:17 of the second overtime. Afterward, users on Twitter posted racial slurs disparaging him. Subban's younger brother, Malcolm, was drafted by the Bruins in the first round in 2012.
http://espn.go.com/boston/nhl/story/_/id/10872728/2014-stanley-cup-playoffs-boston-bruins-cam-neely-blasts-fans-classless-views-pk-subban
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