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Initech

Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
May 14, 2014

Paging Stephen Colbert: New Hampshire Police Blame Recent Wave Of Car Break Ins On Bears

NORTH CONWAY, N.H. —An unusual string of car break-ins has brought in officials from New Hampshire Fish and Game because the likely burglar is a bear.

The break-ins have been reported over the past several weeks. Multiple cars have been targeted and damaged, and it’s all happening in the same neighborhood.

Ted Phillips’ truck was one of them.

"Both doors were open when I came outside,” said Phillips.

So was a Pontiac Vibe driven by Stacy Sand.

"She came in and said, 'I think you need to come out here,'" said Sand.

No car suffered more damage than Terry Leavitt's.

Read more: http://www.wmur.com/news/bear-responsible-for-car-breakins-in-north-conway-police-say/25903582#ixzz31dxTc1UW




Call Stephen Colbert quick!
May 13, 2014

Dumb Criminals: Louisiana Man Drives Drunk To Police Station To File Report

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) — Police say a 31-year-old man has been arrested after he drove to a Louisiana state police headquarters while drunk to file an accident report.

Online booking records indicate Patrick Ruffner of Gonzales was in the East Baton Rouge Parish jail Monday with bond set at $1,000.

Trooper Jared Sandifer says Ruffner called state police Saturday, saying his vehicle was struck by a hit-and-run driver on Interstate 10 in Baton Rouge. He was told to come to Troop A's offices to fill out a crash report.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/12/patrick-ruffner-_n_5311537.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news


May 13, 2014

Donald Sterling Doubles Down On The Racism In Anderson Cooper Interview

Banned Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling said Magic Johnson isn't a good role model for the children of Los Angeles, making the comment to CNN in the same interview where he also asks for forgiveness for the racist comments he made in leaked audio recordings that surfaced last month.

In the interview with Anderson Cooper that aired Monday night on CNN, Sterling said Johnson, who is HIV positive, is not "a good example for the children of Los Angeles."

"He's got AIDS," Sterling said. "... Is this someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed of himself. I think he should go into the background."

Immediately following the conclusion of Game 4 between the Miami Heat and Brooklyn Nets, NBA commissioner Adam Silver released a statement, once again apologizing to Johnson on behalf of the league.

"I just read a transcript of Donald Sterling's interview with Anderson Cooper and while Magic Johnson doesn't need me to, I feel compelled on behalf of the NBA family to apologize to him that he continues to be dragged into this situation and be degraded by such a malicious and personal attack," the statement read. "The NBA Board of Governors is continuing with its process to remove Mr. Sterling as expeditiously as possible."

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/10921035/donald-sterling-banned-los-angeles-clippers-owner-says-magic-johnson-not-good-example-los-angeles-kids


May 12, 2014

Florida Man Sent To Hospital After Attempting To Have Sex With Beer Can

A man from Florida has been taken to hospital with severe cuts to his genitalia.

Beer can - Photo: AnArt.

The unnamed and rather embarrassed man from Barto reports to have been out in the town trying to find a lady friend to mate with, when he came home on his own, on Wednesday.

The Florida man said that he was "extremely horny". That's when he grabbed an empty beer can, and began to "try to make love to it".

http://www.whizba.com/article/51711008638/Weird/Florida-man-tries-to-have-sex-with-beer-can-ends-up-in-hospital./#.U3FB49FlA0M


May 10, 2014

The US Air Force Is Not Afraid Of Godzilla

Master Sgt. Jason Edwards got closer to victory when he suggested bringing in the Power Rangers and Tom Brokaw to the fight. But what the two airmen don't know is that there has been plenty more artillery fired at Godzilla over the years, and he's never really been taken down (Did his body regenerate? Did he die? Don't argue). So this reporter decided to bring out the big guns -- a U.S. Army Reserves Chinook pilot, and my dad -- to answer the question: Can the Armed Forces kill Godzilla?

"He shoots friggin' lightning out of his mouth, he kills kaiju, he can go into space, and he can fly with no wings. Japanese tanks, helicopters, and artillery can't take him out. Even when they were able to kill him, he comes back to life," Chief Warrant Officer Bryan Campbell told HuffPost Weird News.

"I don't think the Air Force could take Godzilla, and I don't even think the Army or anybody in the world could take him," Campbell added.

Dad's right (and he can totally beat up your dad). Godzilla is nearly 350 feet tall and was born from nuclear waste. Nukes won't work. F-15s won't work. And .50-caliber machine guns sure as hell won't work -- Godzilla beat Mechagodzilla.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/air-force-claims-could-take-godzilla_n_5289086.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news




May 9, 2014

Dumb Criminals: Couple Accused Of Having Sex On Church Lawn In Front Of Wedding

A moment of passion can strike just about anywhere.

As one couple exchanged vows at a Salt Lake City church altar, police say they were called to break up another couple engaging in sex acts on the church lawn.

An officer flagged down by a wedding guest outside Sacred Heart Catholic Church reported seeing the two transients in the throes of passion about 6 p.m. Saturday.

"I walked over to the couple and I physically saw the sex act," Officer Rich Stone wrote in a graphic, detailed police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/cops-break-couple-sex-act-church-lawn-article-1.1781710#ixzz31BkthmX0


May 9, 2014

Florida Cops Accused Of Breaking Into City Hall To Use Bathroom

BRADENTON -- Two detectives with the Bradenton Police Department are under investigation after they allegedly broke into Bradenton City Hall after hours on Feb. 7, leaving the building unlocked for the weekend, according to an internal affairs report.

The report, prepared by Lt. Josh Cramer of the Office of Professional Standards, states that a door lock that leads to City Hall "was allegedly manipulated and defeated at the hands of" Ross Johnson and another detective, whose name was redacted from the 20-page document.

Johnson is no longer employed with the Bradenton Police Department, officials confirmed Monday.

The investigation started after City Clerk and Treasurer Carl Callahan complained to Police Chief Michael Radzilowski, according to the report. Callahan reportedly provided a USB storage device containing City Hall surveillance footage.

Read more here: http://www.bradenton.com/2014/05/05/5138481/bradenton-police-detectives-under.html?sp=/99/100/&ihp=1#storylink=cpy


May 9, 2014

Dumb Criminals: 7 Year Old Brings Grandma's Heroin To School

A 56-year-old woman is facing charges after police said her 7-year-old grandson took her heroin to school. Police were called to the Caln Elementary School at 3609 Lincoln Highway in Thorndale, Chester County, on Friday , after police found several packets of heroin in the boy's first grade class. Pauline Bilinski-Munion told police she 'lost track' of the heroin at her house in the unit block of Woodland Avenue in Modena while she was babysitting the boy and a one-year-old baby on Thursday, according to court documents.

Read more from WFMZ.com at: http://www.wfmz.com/news/news-regional-southeasternpa/grandmother-arrested-after-7yrold-brings-heroin-to-school/25815172
Connect with us! Facebook/69WFMZ or @69News




May 7, 2014

OK let's get one thing straight about this Monica Lewinsky Crap.

Yes it's slut shaming. Yes it's a shitty situation.

But let's not forget what it really is. BULLSHIT. Pure unaltered, straight from Bullshit Mountain, grade A , 100% cold filtered bullshit.

It's meant to distract us and keep us divided while the powers that be quietly nominate a puppet like Rand Paul who's a yes man and caters exclusively to the best interests of the corporate criminals. While we're fighting about events that happened 20 fucking years ago, the Republicans are getting ready for a sweep of the House and Senate this year and a landslide victory in 2016. It's an effort to discredit Hillary Clinton from running. That's all it is. The media, the corporate criminals, the Kochs, they want Rand Paul, and with full control, he'll be way more dangerous than any number of George or Jeb Bush's.

Is that what you want? Let's stop playing into the bullshit and get out there. Back to posting.

May 4, 2014

Boston Bruins' President Denounces The Fans' Post Game Racist Tweets

WILMINGTON, Mass. -- Boston Bruins president Cam Neely on Friday denounced those who directed racial slurs at P.K. Subban via social media after the defenseman scored in the second overtime to lift the visiting Montreal Canadiens to a 4-3 victory Thursday night in the opener of an Eastern Conference semifinal series.

"The racist, classless views expressed by an ignorant group of individuals following Thursday's game via digital media are in no way a reflection of anyone associated with the Bruins organization," Neely said in a statement issued by the team. Game 2 is Saturday.

Subban, who is black, scored his second goal of the game at 4:17 of the second overtime. Afterward, users on Twitter posted racial slurs disparaging him. Subban's younger brother, Malcolm, was drafted by the Bruins in the first round in 2012.

http://espn.go.com/boston/nhl/story/_/id/10872728/2014-stanley-cup-playoffs-boston-bruins-cam-neely-blasts-fans-classless-views-pk-subban


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