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Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
December 28, 2013

Target Could Be Liable For $3.6 Billion Due To POS Terminal Hacking

Target said on Friday that it is actively partnering with the United States Secret Service and the Department of Justice on the ongoing investigation into the malware that affected Target’s point-of-sale system in U.S. stores. The company can’t say anything further, as the Secret Service wants the details of the forensics and investigation under wraps.

"We take this crime seriously. It was a crime against Target, our team members, and most importantly, our guests. We’re in this together," said CEO Gregg Steinhafel days ago. "We recognize this issue has been confusing and disruptive during an already busy holiday season. We want to emphasize that the issue has been addressed and let guests know they can shop with confidence at their local Target stores."

According to SuperMoney, Target may be facing a fine of $90 for each cardholder’s compromised data, equaling a hefty if not scary $3.6 billion USD liability. That’s in addition to civil litigations, fines from banks and credit card institutions, the cost of re-fortifying its network and related security evaluations, and more.


December 28, 2013

San Diego Man Buys IPod Classic And Finds Box Full Of Erasers. Twice.

MISSION BEACH, Calif. (10News) - The oddest thing happened to a Mission Beach man this Christmas. Twice.

Jim Nevarde bought an iPod Classic for his wife at the Mira Mesa Target. However, when she opened it Christmas morning all she found was school erasers and index cards.

“About five of them fit exactly in the space where the iPod goes,” he said.

“It was a little strange,” understated Nevarde, who just spent $293 on the iPod and its warranty. “Obviously, somebody got in there and rewrapped it with shrink-wrap.”

He had to wait until Thursday to return the erasers and hope someone believed him.

“It is a crazy story,” Nevarde thought as he walked into a different Target store, this time in the Midway area.


December 27, 2013

Alabama Lawmaker Proposes Legislation Backing Duck Dynasty Star

Source: CNN

(CNN) - The controversial comments about homosexuality made by "Duck Dynasty" star Phil Robertson have come up in conversations across the country in the past two weeks and may make its way to the Alabama state legislature next month.

Republican state Sen. Jerry Fielding plans to introduce a symbolic resolution in support of the Louisiana family's patriarch.

What Robertson said on homosexuality, Fielding told CNN Friday, is "supported by the biblical scriptures."

"For too long, the silent majority has remained silent when we ought to be speaking up" for what Fielding described as a Constitutional right to speak one's mind.

Read more: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/12/27/alabama-lawmaker-to-propose-legislation-backing-duck-dynasty-star/

They just don't get it do they? And now they're wasting government time on this crap?
December 26, 2013

Amazon Pulls Novelty Jesus Toaster, Annoys Company

he Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation is annoyed with e-commerce giant Amazon (AMZN). Sufficiently irked, in fact, that it is yanking its popular toasters — including the best-selling Jesus toaster — from the online retailer.

Vermont Novelty says that its Jesus toaster — which toasts an image of Jesus into bread slices — was ranked as the 32nd top-selling toaster on Amazon this holiday season. But now, the Jesus toaster, along with the company's other novelty toasters that produce toasty images of President Obama, the Virgin Mary, Sarah Palin and assorted other icons, won't be sold on Amazon any longer.

The company alleges that Amazon has refused to cough up half of the revenue from two weeks of sales because those sales have exceeded the "limited velocity amount."

By exceeding that amount, Vermont Novelty incurs an account review. The company's CEO notes that the delay — which has happened at the end of two consecutive years — damages its cash flow. The company also complains that Amazon pockets nearly $8 out of each toaster sale.


I think I saw Jesus Toaster Pull at Coachella last year!
December 25, 2013

Dumb Criminals: DUI Suspect Calls Friends To Pick Her Up - Who Are Subsequently Busted For DUI

READINGTON TWP. — The arrest of a local woman here on drunken driving charges led to the arrest of both people who went to pick her up at the police station for the same offense, police reported Thursday. Police gave the following account:

The vehicle stop that eventually resulted in three arrests took place Monday, Dec. 16, around 1:45 a.m., when Patrolman Patrick Brown stopped a car for swerving on Route 22 east at Route 523. The vehicle was driven by Carmen Reategui, 34, of Whitehouse Station.

Brown had Reategui perform a series of standardized field sobriety tests, which she failed, police said. Reategui was arrested and taken to headquarters for processing. She ended up charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol, failure to stay in her lane and failure to provide a vehicle insurance card.

Reatequi then called Nina Petracca, 23, of Dunellen for a ride. Once Petracca arrived at the station, Patrolman Peter Serrone started explaining the potential liability form to her.


December 20, 2013

My picks: The Top 10 Stupid Criminals Of The Year

If there's one thing I love it's stupid criminal stories and there were no shortage of them in 2013. Starting with:

10. Two Swedish Thieves Steal $1300 Worth Of Ice Cream, Surprised To Find It Melted


Our first stupid criminal story of the year takes us to Stockholm Sweden, proving that the dumb crime happens all over the world. What happens when you steal Ben & Jerry's and leave it out in the sun for a few hours? I wonder...

9. Man Steals Truck To Be On Time For Court Hearing Regarding Previous Car Jacking:


Car jacking + stupidity + court hearing does not equate a good combination. That's what this criminal did in Redding, California. It's a colossal Grand Theft FAIL.

8. Sword Wielding San Antonio Restaurant Robber Demands Free Tacos Or Death


While "Free Tacos Or Death" would make an awesome band name, let's not forget that bringing a live samurai sword into a restaurant and demanding free food will not always end well.

7. Burger King Manager Steals From Restaurant To Teach Other Employees Lesson About Stealing


Cue Arrested Development's one armed subordinate of George Bluth, J. Walter Weatherman - "And that's why... you don't steal!". Perhaps this restaurant owner could take a lesson from the one armed man.

6. Drunk British Man Caught On Tape Attempting To Have Sex With Land Rover


We go across the pond to Springsfield, Hollywell, England for this one. A man was seen after hours loaded attempting to have sex with a parked Land Rover LR2. And that isn't all of the story either!

5. Miami Man's Instagram Account Gets Him Charged With 142 Felonies


Back in the states, here's the first time Florida shows up on the list! OK word to would-be dumb criminals out there - don't mix your idiocy with social media. There's nothing good that will ever come out of it. OK?

4. Teenage Crooks Take Incriminating Selfies Before Robbery


As if we need further proof that dumb crime and social media don't mix well - we go back to Scandinavia for this gem of a story involving teenage crooks, some petty theft, and well, pure idiocy.

3. Oregon Man Attempts Robbery Of Gun Store With Baseball Bat


The second time the West Coast makes an appearance on this list! We go to the Pacific Northwest and Oregon where we learn that if you're going to attempt to rob a gun store, use a gun people! It only makes sense!

2. Man Tells Judge He Thought You Could Only Be Arrested For Night Crimes


We go to Cleveland, Ohio for this one. Perhaps one of the dumbest criminals this year, or any year, he thought he could get away with day time crime. To quote the movie Super Troopers "Oh I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert."

And the number one stupid crime of 2013 is........................

1. Soldier Films Wife Having Sex With Dog For Distribution On Internet


We go to North Carolina for this one. I really don't have anything to add to this story except for three words: what. the. fuck.

That's it for dumb criminals for 2013! Hopefully 2014 will see no shortage of dumb crime!

December 20, 2013

The Top 10 Weird News Stores Of 2013

A certain part of the male anatomy figures prominently in the Top 10 Weird News Stories of 2013 -- and if you can't guess what body part that is you clearly don't live on planet Earth.

Let's just say man's best friend often lets him down. We're not saying plenty of women didn't embarrass themselves into our Weird News Top 10, but they were once again vastly outnumbered.

Indeed, 2013 might be the Year of the Snake, according to the Chinese calendar. But to HuffPost Weird News, it's the Year of the Penis.

Penis-Shaped Church

God is in everything, even the design of the Christian Science Dixon Church in Illinois. “We didn’t design it to be seen from above,” church officer Scott Shepherd told the media. Amid public debate, church officials decided not to alter the church's shape. It was designed that way for a very good reason -- to preserve the life of a tree, seen in this picture. In a related story, the Church by the Sea in Maderia Beach, Fla., had no explanation why its house of worship was shaped undeniably like a chicken. (Read More)

Man Erects Middle Finger Salute To Ex-Wife

When love ends, it never ends well. Alan Markovitz bought a home in Bloomfield Hills, Mich., next to his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, and he proceeded to build this 12-foot bronze statue of a middle finger. "I'm so over her," he told Deadline Detroit. "This is about him. This is about him not being a man." Markovitz paid $7,000 for this work of art. Certainly, he could have spent less on aggressive therapy and medication. (Read More)

Man Loses Life Savings, Wins Banana With Dreadlocks

Henry Gribbohm of Epsom, N.H., complained to police after he lost $2,600 -- all his savings -- at a "Tubs of Fun" carnival game. Gribbohm won a Rasta banana plush toy, but he was expecting a lot more. "They explained to me I was going to get all my money back," Gribbohm told WMUR, "I was going to get an Xbox Kinect . . . They lied to me." Better luck next year. (Read More)

The rest: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/15/top-10-weird-news-stories_n_4449418.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

But don't think this is the end of Weird News for 2013 yet!
December 19, 2013

Real Life Walter White Sentenced For Meth Possession

You've probably read a lot of stories about a "real-life" "Breaking Bad" in which a chemistry teacher sells methamphetamine, or a father sells meth to help his family, or someone related to a cop gets into the business.

Yeah, well nice try, other stories. This is the story of a guy who is actually named Walter White doing what Walter White did on the show.

Click here to see the Great Falls Tribune play it totally straight as it reports that Walter White was sentenced to nine years for possession of meth for distribution, plus three-and-a-half years on weapons charges.

U.S. District Judge Donald Molloy held White responsible for the distribution of 32 and-a-half pounds of meth, a quantity he called "extraordinary."


December 19, 2013

Dumb Criminals: UK Man Charged With Masturbating While Driving

A 49-year-old man spotted indulging in a sex act while driving naked along a busy motorway got carried away in a ‘messaging conversation’, a court heard.

Neal Marshall, of Strawberry Green, Whitby was seen by a HGV driver as he performed the sex act while driving his Ford Escort naked down the M56 in Chester.

The 49-year-old appeared before Chester magistrates charged with an act of outraging public decency after exposing himself on August 8.

Marshall, who was convicted of the same offence back in 2008 at Stafford Crown Court, was handed a 12 month community order and a 12 month supervision order during the hearing yesterday (Wednesday).

He was also ordered to pay £85 costs and a victim surcharge of £60


December 19, 2013

Dumb Criminals: Man Robs Bank, Is Later Robbed Of Stolen Loot

When Arlington police found Larry Poulos walking in his apartment complex with a bleeding head injury, he told them he had just been robbed, federal court records show.

What Poulos didn’t tell them was that the robbers took cash he had just stolen after robbing a credit union about 100 yards away, according to court records.

Federal court records describe the following series of events:

On Tuesday, Poulos walked into the Educational Employees Credit Union on Southgate Street in Arlington and handed a teller a deposit slip with the word “bomb” written on the back.

The teller at first thought it was a joke but then realized it was a robbery when she looked at Poulos. He handed her a plastic bag while keeping his other hand at his waist, “leading her to believe that he had a bomb or some other weapon.”


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