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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 96,274

Journal Archives

Dumb Criminals: Why Yes, That *IS* An AK47 In My Pants

A 19-year-old man is facing grand theft charges after he was seen stuffing rifles down his pants at a pawn shop in Davie, according to court records.

Marlon Paul Alvarez, of Fort Lauderdale, made his first appearance in court Wednesday where Broward Judge John Hurley expressed concern about Alvarez's behavior.

"You allegedly went into that pawn shop and removed an AK-47 rifle on display and stuck it down your pants," the judge read from the arrest report. "After a while, [you] pulled it out, put it back, then grabbed another assault rifle off another display [and] put that down your pants."

The owner of Public Pawn and Gun at 6798 Stirling Rd. noticed Alvarez limping out of the store with the assault rifle down his pant leg about 11:30 a.m. Tuesday, police said.


Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Man Pulls A Real Life Walter Sobchak And Destroys Wrong Car

MANATEE — A Bradenton man, accused of having a personal vendetta against a friend, was charged with felony criminal mischief after deputies said he smashed the windows out of a car, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

Ryan T. Smith, 22, was arrested at 12:30 p.m. Tuesday in the 300 block of Cape Harbour Loop, deputies said.

The victim, who knows Smith, told deputies he was at home when he heard a car door outside his bedroom window. The victim said Smith began smashing the windows of a vehicle with a baseball bat but it wasn't that of the intended victim, who drives a similar make, model and color vehicle to his neighbor's vehicle.

The victim told deputies Smith has a personal vendetta against him. The friend later wrote on his Facebook page Smith smashed his neighbor’s car because he thought it was his.

Read more here: http://www.bradenton.com/2015/05/12/5795657_bradenton-man-charged-with-felony.html?rh=1#storylink=cpy

Dumb Criminals: Two Men Rob Fast Food Joint, Trail Of Macaroni Salad Leads Cops Right To Them

A trail of macaroni salad led police investigators in Livingston County to three suspected burglars on Sunday.

Deputies of the Livingston County Sheriff's Office responded to a burglary at Build-A-Burger Restaurant in Mt. Morris at 6:30 a.m., after the owners reported their surveillance system and cash register were missing.

The investigation led police to the Greenway Trail, a hiking and biking path, where they found cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and "a steady trail of macaroni salad," according to a news release issued by the office.


On Mother's Day John Oliver Slams US Laws Regarding Paid Maternity Leave (NSFW)

And come on, what's classier than taking mom to Hooters for Mother's Day?

Dumb Criminals: Lawn Mower Theif Drives New Mower Off Store Lot, Goes 10 Miles Before Getting Caught

LEXINGTON — Driving a mower off the lot landed a Cozad man deep in the weeds with law enforcement.

Gursham D. Gillett, 49, was arrested Wednesday after allegedly stealing a riding lawn mower from Wal-Mart last weekend. He has been charged with one count of theft by shoplifting, a Class IV felony, and one count of criminal mischief, a Class II misdemeanor in Dawson County Court.

According to court records, police were notified of the theft of a Murray brand lawn mower from the Wal-Mart at 200 Frontier Street in Lexington early Saturday.

Security footage from early Saturday morning revealed that the suspect had entered the store and fueled up the lawn mower before cutting the retaining chain link fence where the mower was stored. He then fled on the mower, stopping to cut another fence on Interstate 80 before driving out of view of the camera.


Miley Cyrus, Joan Jett Start Charity Aimed At Homeless LGBT Youth

From bringing a homeless teen onstage at the MTV Video Music Awards to slamming the Indiana governor over the state's controversial religious freedom law, Miley Cyrus isn't afraid to tackle pressing social issues head on. With that in mind, the Bangerz singer has established the Happy Hippie Foundation, an organization that aims to bring awareness towards issues affecting homeless youth and other vulnerable populations such as the LGBT youth community.

To help raise funds and awareness for her new foundation, Cyrus has teamed with Facebook for the Backyard Sessions, which will find the singer teaming with another artist for a unique performance filmed in Cyrus' own backyard. Joan Jett, Ariana Grande, Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace and Melanie Safka are among the artists who will collaborate with Cyrus for the sessions. Each video will debut exclusively on Facebook with an option to donate toward the Happy Hippie Foundation.


Classy move I must say!

Duck Dynasty Musical To Close After Vegas Flop

The show won’t go on for “Duck Commander Musical,” the Las Vegas show about the Robertson family featured on A&E series “Duck Dynasty.”

The musical, which is based on a book written by Willie and Korie Robertson, will close on May 17 after less than a two month run.

According to the show’s website, it “transports the Louisiana bayou to the stage in a captivating 90 minute show- seasoned with all the southern spirit and down-to-earth humor you’d expect from America’s most famous rednecks, the Robertson family.”


The sooner these phony bigots go away the better.

John Oliver Slams Pearson And The Standardized Testing Industry

Once again, nailed it.

Dumb Criminals: Man Arrested After Liking His Own "Most Wanted" Picture On Facebook

A man featured on the Cascade County Crime Stoppers Facebook page as an April "most wanted" suspect and who apparently "liked" the Internet post appeared in court Monday on a $2,500 warrant.

Levi Charles Reardon, 23, was arrested Friday evening without incident, according to police records. The records indicate he had two warrants for his arrest.

Reardon made an initial court appearance for felony forgery (common scheme). His arraignment is scheduled for May 7.


Stephen Hawking Gives Existential Advice To One Direction Fans

Even one of the most brilliant minds in the entire universe has a sense of humor.
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