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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-10: The Trumper Games: You're Fired! Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-10: The Trumper Games: You're Fired! Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Who wants a billion dollars? Because that’s the award our show is giving to someone who fills out a perfect bracket. Wait what? My producer Carlos is telling me that there are no perfect brackets anymore. I mean come on, who didn’t have Virginia picked to go all the way? Damn you UMBC!!! Thank you sound effects guy! Just kidding, that was the upset of the century and I watched every second of that game. And no we don’t have a billion dollars to give away. We barely have a hundred. Come on, when you have a budget of zero then sacrifices have to be made, people! Do we have time for the thing? OK good. Hey people – enough of the fan theories! So of course Marvel drops the trailer for Avengers: Infinity War this weekend. Which – by the way – it looks fucking amazing. I mean come on, who doesn’t want to see that Spiderman and Dr. Strange scene? Or that scene with Thor surrounded by lightning? Or Iron Man and Peter Quill in the same room? But really – we don’t need your 40 minute analysis of a 2 minute trailer! OK? Seriously, don’t you people have better and more constructive things to do? Well besides watch us, I mean! And I mean this really happens every single time a blockbuster movie comes out. The trailer is 2 fucking minutes! And just watching the trailer on Youtube, you soon thereafter get bombarded with hundreds of videos of people mindlessly delving into every minute detail of the trailer. It’s madness. It needs to end now! What? I mean just because we see toddler Groot doesn’t mean we need a play by play analysis of it like it’s the final play of the Super Bowl! Stop it people, just stop it! And no I don’t need your prediction videos about what you think is going to happen in Avengers: Infinity War. And I’m a huge fan of the Marvel Universe. Can’t we just sit back, watch movies and enjoy them anymore? why does everything have to have a playbook analysis? I mean it’s just madness. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he takes a long look at the history of our current Vice President Mike Pence:

Ed. Note – We are *NOT* going to cover the Austin bombings. It’s a horrifying story and making fun of it would again violate policy that we don’t make fun of events like this. That would be beneath us.

Taking the first slot this week – is of course our president Donald J. Trump (1) who occupies only a single slot this week. He’s named the latest tributes in this year’s exciting edition of The Trumper Games – Rex Tillerson and Andrew McCabe! Taking the second slot this week is a pro Trump research group called Cambridge Analytica (2), and whew, if you think there’s collusion going on, these guys are taking it to a whole new level! In the third slot this week is the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin (3), who handily won reelection this week which means 6 more years of sheer terror! But would you be surprised he rigged his own election? We’re not! In the 4th slot this week is West Virginia coal mining CEO Don Blankenship (4) who launched a bid for senate. Yes, these assholes just wont go away! Taking the 5th slot, we’ve got the return of “How Is This Still A Thing” and this time around we’re going to talk about a pair of incidents and ask “Swatting: How Is This Still A Thing”?At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all the wacky things the Christian right is up to this week in “Holy Shit” (6), and this time around, our resident pastor is going to go looking for demons. Because they exist, apparently. In the number 7 slot, we’ve got an all new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” (7) and this time we’re going to ask “WTF is going on with Stan Lee?”. Yes, the Marvel legend is in some deep trouble and we’ll tell you all about it. At number 8 is the Alt Right – we’re going to tell you about their plans to launch their own conference along with Richard Spencer’s terrible no good very bad day. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is a new round of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to get drunk and enjoy a burger prepared by Pasadena’s own Flippy The Robot (9). And finally it’s the long-awaited tip off of our Stupidest State Contest! This week it’s Round 1 Week 1 which will see Iowa battle Kentucky for the king of the Batshit Conference, while Montana will be bringing their big guns against Arizona in an old west duel to the death! Plus we’ll have a live performance from the legendary Arcade Fire! Wait, they were just on Saturday Night Live! What are they doing on our crappy show? Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Ah it’s time for the latest round of the Trumper Games! Wait, give me a second.

Welcome to the latest round of the Trumper Games! Mmmm… yes…. Mmm… yes! Hey Charlie! Why must you give me the cheap champagne? I want the good shit! Much better! So we have the latest two tributes who are descending upon the capital have been eliminated! And we will tell you all about it because it’s insane. This week – not one, but two tributes – one hailing from District 5 South, the other hailing from District 7 – Tribute Tillerson and Tribute McCabe. This isn’t a mere edition of the Trumper Games, this is the Trumper Games: You’re Fired! So who is behind door number one?

This week, amid more than a year of a record-setting number of firings and resignations for the Trump administration, one of the biggest names yet was given his dismissal. Namely, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, whose firing was publicly announced on Tuesday. But on Friday, in a meeting with reporters, White House chief of staff John Kelly reportedly revealed how Tillerson was fired, and the details are about as awkward as it gets.

The meeting Kelly participated in was reportedly off-the-record, which means those reporters who were actually invited were bound not to publicly divulge or detail its contents. Since then, however, multiple outlets (including The Daily Beast and Axios) that weren't in on the meeting have reported on what Kelly said, citing sources familiar with the contents of the call. Since these outlets were not invited to the meeting, they are therefore not bound by it being off-the-record.

As such, The Daily Beast reported on Friday that Kelly discussed what Tillerson was up to when he got the news he'd been fired, and from the sounds of things it was pretty unceremonious. Specifically, Kelly reportedly said Tillerson was sitting on a toilet when he got the call, suffering from an upset stomach while abroad in Africa on official business.

Mmmmmmmmmm… yes! Mmmmmmmmmmmm…. Yes! My pretties, the latest tribute – who was from District 5 South, was eliminated while he was on the toilet! Because in the Trumper Games, anyone can be fired at any time for any reason. Doesn't matter if you're taking a shit or you're getting shit on by a porn star. Hey everyone has something. And this might be the most President Trump thing that has happened since President Trump took office! By the way we have to show the brilliant Saturday Night Live intro from this week which featured John Goodman as the now former Secretary Of State:

That line from John Goodman was brilliant! “One minute you’re the head of a $50 billion corporation, the next you get fired by a guy who used to sell steaks in the mail!”. So who is the latest tribute to take his place in the Trumper Games?

Of all of CIA Director Mike Pompeo’s qualifications to serve as secretary of the State Department, one of the most meaningful in terms of his relationship with the career foreign service may, improbably, be his service as a U.S. Army officer.

From my own 32 years as an American diplomat, including a stint as deputy executive secretary on the seventh floor of the State Department, I observed that Secretaries George Shultz and Jim Baker, both Marine Corps officers, had a genuine appreciation for the work of the officers who staff the bureaus, just as they had for their troops in combat.

As a graduate of West Point and having served as a U.S. Army officer, Pompeo will have a similar in-bred instinct to reach far down into the bureaucratic structure and make every part of the State Department feel that they are, once again, considered a valued part of his team implementing our country’s foreign policy.

As the secretary of the State Department involves deputy assistant secretaries, country directors, desk officers and foreign affairs specialists in formulating policy options and providing in-depth background information to him, morale will soar.

Well, considering that Trump and his Infowars cabal broke American diplomacy it’s going to take a hell of a lot to fix it, Mikey! But Tillerson wasn’t the only tribute eliminated this week! Who is the latest to go in this week’s Trumper Games?

It's hard to say exactly why former top FBI official Andrew McCabe was fired Friday night, hours before he was set to retire with full benefits. The top line from the man who fired him, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, is that McCabe authorized the FBI to talk to the media about a Hillary Clinton-related criminal inquiry, then “lacked candor” when internal investigators asked him about it.

That's all we know for now. The details aren't public because the Justice Department hasn't yet released a report from its own internal watchdog.

The lack of transparency on McCabe's firing leaves room for both sides to say this is really about Russia.

McCabe has said his firing is the latest salvo in an “ongoing war” on the FBI and the special counsel investigating Trump-Russia connections. President Trump immediately pivoted from McCabe's firing over how he handled an aspect of a Clinton investigation to attacking the entire FBI for its ongoing investigation of him.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. So my pretties FBI investigator Andrew McCabe, was the latest tribute to be eliminated from the games! And the president has spoken! Yes, our dear leader aired his grievances with this particular tribute from his favorite means of communication – the tweet!


To which the president followed it up with:


But it’s not over! We will keep you posted on the latest tributes and developments happening in the Trumper Games! So why was Tribute McCabe eliminated from his competition in the games? There are many theories on that!

While it might be too early to label fired former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe a victim, there is without question one victim in this story: the American people, who have been left to form opinions without benefit of the facts.

With all eyes on the Justice Department’s Office of Inspector General and its forthcoming report on the conduct of FBI officials during the 2016 investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server, Justice leadership chose to act on a subset of the IG’s findings and fire McCabe without providing underlying details.

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[font size="8"]Cambridge Analytica
[br] [/font]

So the guy who currently calls himself the president of the United States – Donald J. Trump, will repeatedly remind you that this is a witch hunt, and that there’s “no collusion!”. And of course Trump doesn't know anything. In fact he is the man who knew too little, and he knows so little that he's forced to just come up with bullshit excuses. Like he did on Monday:


The only real conflict of interest sir, is your office. Thank you! Because this week, Facebook let go of a long time collaborator called Cambridge Analytica. You might not know the name but after this week, it should be forever engrained in your brains:

A former Cambridge Analytica employee accused the data analytics firm of mishandling the personal information of more than 50 million Facebook users in an effort to help Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Christopher Wylie, who helped found Cambridge and worked there until late 2014, told ABC News the company would use the information, including Facebook users’ hometowns, friends and “likes” to influence the behavior of potential voters.

“Cambridge Analytica will try to pick at whatever mental weakness or vulnerability that we think you have and try to warp your perception of what’s real around you,” Wylie told ABC News in the interview. “If you are looking to create an information weapon, the battle space you operate in is social media. That is where the fight happens.”

That is a good point, sir! But there’s far more to this evil act from Facebook and Cambridge Analytica that could possibly do some long term serious damage. Oh and guess who CA’s chief financial backer was? Yup!:

A powerful but previously obscure online data mining firm bankrolled by Albuquerque native Robert Mercer has been thrust into the media glare following revelations that it harvested Facebook user information to help propel Donald Trump into the White House in 2016.

Robert Mercer, a Sandia High School and UNM graduate turned New York hedge fund titan, reportedly plowed $15 million into Cambridge Analytica, which helped both the Trump campaign in the U.S. and the Brexit movement in the United Kingdom. The Journal profiled Mercer and his Albuquerque connections in November.

According to Forbes magazine, Mercer donated $24.6 million to the Republican Party in 2016. He has reportedly invested $10 million into Breitbart, the conservative news site. Financial journals place his net worth at from $900 million to more than a $1 billion.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Well if this is true then Robert Mercer not only violated Facebook’s terms of use, he may have committed some light treason on top of that! But how deep does this thing go? It turns out that Brexit may have been compromised as well!

THE HEAD OF the British parliament’s media committee has accused Facebook of misleading lawmakers by downplaying the risk of users’ data being shared without their consent.

Conservative legislator Damian Collins said he would ask Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg or another executive to appear before his committee, which is investigating disinformation and fake news.

Collins said Facebook has “consistently understated” the risk of data leaks and given misleading answers to the committee.

“Someone has to take responsibility for this,” he said. “It’s time for Mark Zuckerberg to stop hiding behind his Facebook page.”

So Robert Mercer and Facebook may have… just may have committed some light treason. Actually, it may be full bore treason. Oh by the way conservatives – there is no social media conspiracy surrounding conservatives getting shit canned from Facebook and Twitter. You’re getting canned because you’re hateful dicks! Stop being hateful dicks and we’ll stop reporting you! This is getting scarier and scarier and it looks like a whole bunch of people are going to go down for this. Not in that way, sir! Of course they’re going to deny it, because, why not?

Cambridge Analytica, a data analytics firm used by the Donald Trump campaign during the 2016 elections, insisted on Saturday that it did not misuse or hold data obtained from Facebook FB users, despite having been sanctioned by the platform for doing so.

On Friday, Facebook announced that it had suspended Cambridge Analytica , suggesting the firm had not been honest about deleting user data sent to it by the makers of a popular psychology test app.

That particular app, called "thisisyourdigitallife," was itself banned by Facebook back in 2015. However, the social network has accused Cambridge Analytica of holding that data, despite assurances to the contrary.

"Several days ago, we received reports that, contrary to the certifications we were given, not all data was deleted," Facebook said in a blog post . "We are moving aggressively to determine the accuracy of these claims. If true, this is another unacceptable violation of trust and the commitments they made."

Cambridge Analytica now finds itself in the middle of a political firestorm, amid a roiling debate over 'information warfare' that is being used to influence the electoral process. It stands accused of harvesting Facebook user data to profile voters that that were ultimately targeted by the Trump campaign, which spent over $6 million on information obtained by the firm.

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[font size="8"]Vladimir Putin
[br] [/font]

Meanwhile, in Russia… um, we should pay far more attention to what’s going on in that country than we are right now. Because it’s fucking insane. So the real president of the United States, Vladimir Putin, is the new leader of Russia. But of course like all things involving Putin, it’s not without some shady fucking activity surrounding it. And I mean would you be surprised that Trump called Putin after the election and the NSA, FBI, and CIA all explicitly warned him *NOT* to do so? I mean he's under investigation for Russian collusion!

President Trump did not follow specific warnings from his national security advisers Tuesday when he congratulated Russian President Vladi­mir Putin on his reelection — including a section in his briefing materials in all-capital letters stating “DO NOT CONGRATULATE,” according to officials familiar with the call.

Trump also chose not to heed talking points from aides instructing him to condemn the recent poisoning of a former Russian spy in Britain with a powerful nerve agent, a case that both the British and U.S. governments have blamed on Moscow.

The president’s conversation with Putin, which Trump described as a “very good call,” prompted fresh criticism of his muted tone toward one of the United States’ biggest geopolitical rivals amid the special counsel investigation into Russia’s election interference and the Trump campaign’s contacts with Russian officials.


Yeah so that happened. Trump is seriously that guy - if you tell him not to do something, he will do it. Don't push the button. Sure, he'll push that fucking button all right! So here’s how the whole Russian election went down.

(CNN)Sunday's landslide election that handed victory to Russian President Vladimir Putin was "overly controlled" and "lacked genuine competition," international election monitors said Monday.

Michael Georg Link, who led a team of observers from the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE), said election day was conducted professionally and in an orderly manner, but that the vote was held on "an uneven playing field."
He pointed to the extensive media coverage given to Putin on tightly controlled state-run television, the main source of political information in Russia.

"Where the legal framework restricts many fundamental freedoms and the outcome is not in doubt, elections almost lose their purpose," Link said Monday at a news conference in Moscow.


Oh sure who needs fair competition when Vlad has been known to literally murder it? If you’re running against Putin, you might want to have professional food and drink tasters, and maybe a professional car starter on hand 24/7. We’re just saying. You got to protect yourself. And come on in a very one sided election, do you really need exit polls?

Moscow (CNN)Vladimir Putin has extended his grip on Russia for another six years after an overwhelming victory in Sunday's presidential election, a result that was never in doubt.
With 99.8% of the votes counted, Putin won with 76.7%, according to Central Election Commission data. It means Putin will rule until 2024, when he will be 71 and obliged by law to step down.

Putin sailed to victory against the backdrop of wall-to-wall support from state media and with no serious challenger. His nearest rival, Communist Party candidate Pavel Grudinin, won 11.79%,while ultra-nationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky took 5.7%. Former reality TV presenter Ksenia Sobchak was on 1.7%, while veteran liberal politician Grigory Yavlinsky received just over 1% of the vote.

His fiercest opponent, Alexei Navalny, was barred from the race.

And not only was it a win – it was a landslide victory and one of the widest margins in Russian election history. So, audience… HOW BIG WAS IT????

Vladimir Putin cruised to victory in Sunday’s presidential elections in a result that was never in question. His fourth term as president will extend until 2024, making him the first Kremlin leader to serve two decades in power since Josef Stalin.

With results still coming in, Putin looked set to exceed expectations by clinching more than 75% of the vote.

Turnout, which was seen as a measure of the Kremlin’s legitimacy in this uncompetitive campaign, was close to 60% as of 9pm GMT on Sunday evening after a long day of voting. The Kremlin had hoped to match the 65% who cast votes in 2012 and had initially sought 70% turnout.

“Thank you for your support,” Putin told crowds on Manezhnaya Square just under the Kremlin walls, wearing a black down jacket with a fur hood. “Everyone who voted today is part of our big, national team.”

Where fashion sits… putting on the Ritz!! Sorry, got carried away there for a minute. But even the most landslide margins don’t come without some landslide cheating! The Joker from the Dark Knight said it best – “madness is like gravity, all it needs is a little push!”. And that’s exactly what Putin has done!

Russian election observers denounced what they said were large-scale violations in the presidential vote that handed Vladimir Putin a crushing victory, including ballot-stuffing that was captured on state-controlled cameras.

Golos, an election-monitoring organization, said it registered more than 1,500 violations in regions across Russia. Several cases of people stuffing ballot boxes at polling stations, including near Moscow, were recorded on cameras set up by the authorities to ensure a transparent vote.

Opposition leader Alexey Navalny said data compiled by his observers at polling stations showed that the official turnout of 67.5 percent was inflated by 10 percentage points. Navalny was barred from contesting the election and had called for a boycott of Sunday’s vote in protest. There was “widespread fraud,” according to Open Russia, an opposition organization founded by former oil tycoon and Kremlin opponent Mikhail Khodorkovsky.

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[font size="8"]Don Blankenship
[br] [/font]

You know you can’t spell the word “conservative” without the word “con”. And nobody cons it up more than a conservative CEO. And more specifically – the CEO of a coal mining company. And even more specific than that – a recently indicted CEO of a coal mining company who served only a years’ time for the untimely deaths of 29 employees caused by a safety violation. Yeah, we’re looking at you, Don Blankenship. Don’t think you can’t get away with this one!

The West Virginia Senate race has an ex-con in the lead of the Republican primary and the GOP is fearing it might become another Roy Moore-level disaster for their party.

Coal baron Don Blankenship is freshly freed from one year in prison after a mining safety incident that killed 29 miners. The incident marked the deadliest coal mining incident in 40 years, and Blankenship was found partially responsible. He became the first ever high-ranking executive who was convicted of a workplace safety violation.

When Blankenship was freed, he filed to run for the U.S. Senate for the Republican Party. As one of the wealthiest and most influential men in Appalachia, according to the New York Times, Blankenship has dumped $450,000 of his fortune into television ads blasting the field of his fellow Republicans. As a result, Politico revealed, he’s shot up in the polls.

Now, the GOP is starting to worry. In a race against conservative Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), Blankenship has to go as far right as the likes of Moore or Pennsylvania congressional candidate Rick Saccone. At the same time, having an ex-con whose lax safety in coal mines killed so many West Virginians isn’t a good look for the Republican Party.

Maybe this is how you drain the swamp – appoint the most disgusting, boorish candidates possible to the ticket, and then they get replaced with someone much better! So you might be thinking why appoint one of the ugliest people possible to run for senate? Well…

On a cold, rainy night in West Virginia coal country this winter, Don Blankenship glares out at a half-empty conference room at the Big Sandy Superstore Arena in Huntington. For almost an hour, the ex-coal executive and ex-con reads off a teleprompter, doing his best impression of a political candidate. For a big man, Blankenship has a surprisingly soft voice. His message is anything but. He talks of his years of union-busting, the twin evils of illegal immigration and opioid addiction—blaming the first for causing the second—and the folly of environmental regulation.

Throughout, he never strays far from the true target of his ire: Democratic Senator Joe Manchin. Blankenship blames Manchin not only for much of what’s wrong with West Virginia, but also for helping put him behind bars.

So just how evil is Don Blankenship? Well, he’s so evil that the GOP is fearing that they’ll have another Roy Moore style scandal brewing in West Virginia. Hey, we can only hope!

National Republicans — on the heels of the Roy Moore and Rick Saccone debacles — worry they’re staring down their latest potential midterm election fiasco: coal baron and recent federal prisoner Don Blankenship.

With Blankenship skyrocketing in the West Virginia Republican Senate primary and blanketing the airwaves with ads assailing his fractured field of rivals as career politicians, senior party officials are wrestling with how, or even whether, to intervene. Many of them are convinced that Blankenship, who served a one-year sentence after the deadly 2010 explosion at his Upper Big Branch Mine, would be a surefire loser against Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin — and potentially become a national stain for the party.

The discussions have intensified over the past few weeks. During separate meetings with the National Republican Senatorial Committee, aides to Blankenship’s two primary opponents, Rep. Evan Jenkins and state Attorney General Patrick Morrisey, pointed to Blankenship’s traction and questioned what could be done to stop him. The Senate GOP campaign arm, which heard out the appeals, recently commissioned a survey to gauge the coal king’s electoral strength and determine his staying power in the race.

Oh come on! Blankenship is too evil for even evil Spongebob! And you don’t want to double cross evil Spongebob! You will not like evil Spongebob! But at least the protestors will hopefully shut him down!

When Don Blankenship came to the WVU Mountainlair, so did protesters.

Minutes after Blankenship, a Republican U.S. Senate candidate and the former CEO of Massey Energy, began talking during a town hall on Thursday, a protester left her seat to place roses on Blankenship's podium.

“These are for Richard K. Lane,” said the protester, who then walked out of the room.

Around 20 others followed her lead, shouting the names of victims of the 2010 Upper Big Branch Mine disaster.

Several protesters screamed profanities. One tore the Don Blankenship sign off the podium and left with it.

The protesters gathered outside the closed door and began singing as Blankenship continued to speak.

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[font size="8"]Swatting: How Is This Still A Thing?
[br] [/font]

Time Once Again To Ask:

This week: Swatting. How is this still a thing? The practice of swatting was popularized in the late 2000s by bored teenagers who had an internet connection and way too much time on their hands. But its’ origins may date back to the 1970s, when prank calling people was still a thing. But this week there have been an alarming and exponential increase in the use of the tactics of swatting.

A call of shots fired that sent scores of heavily armed officers to a Northwestern University graduate dorm Wednesday afternoon was apparently a case of “swatting,” a false emergency designed to draw a large police response.

A caller reached the Evanston police from somewhere near Rockford around 2:15 p.m. and said he had shot his girlfriend at Engelhart Hall, just west of the main campus at Emerson Street and Maple Avenue.

Alerts were issued and teams of police were dispatched, but officers found the woman — a Northwestern student — unharmed with “no evidence of a victim, scene or gunman,” said Evanston police Cmdr. Ryan Glew, a spokesman for the department.

“That residence has been vacant since before Thanksgiving,” Glew said of the dorm room at Engelhart. “We’re preparing to call it a swatting incident. ... She was not in any danger.”

Yes, holy shit indeed. So what started out as an innocent prank call led to the swat team descending upon an entire building full of panicked people and shots being fired. Isn’t living in 2018 America fucking great? But if you think this was an isolated incident, think again!

A bogus 911 call that prompted a large law enforcement response in San Marcos and was determined to be a case of "swatting" was traced back to Michigan, the San Diego Sheriff's Department (SDSO) said Thursday.

At least a dozen deputies descended on the San Elijo neighborhood of San Marcos at about 2 p.m. Wednesday after a 911 caller reported that a man had shot his girlfriend and wanted to shoot himself.

Deputies found the person reported as the shooter, who was "shocked" to see law enforcement at his door, SDSO Lt. Eddie Brock said.

It was determined no shots had been fired and no crime had been committed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait… how can police not do some background checks on prank calls? This is absolutely absurd. Swatting is a huge waste of resources just for stirring up stupid shit. And there was yet *ANOTHER* incident in Maryland this week. This is getting ridiculous.

WHEATON, Md. - Police say they found a home in Montgomery County unoccupied after a report of a possible hostage situation was received and are now investigating to see if the incident was a 'swatting' hoax.

The call for a possible barricade and hostage situation was received Thursday morning. Officers say the incident was reported around 10:30 a.m. to a house on Ferrara Drive in Wheaton.

Police originally said the incident was reported as a domestic incident with a possible hostage. Dozens of officers and emergency crews responded to the area of Ferrara Drive and Indigo Road Staging areas were set up and several roads int he area were closed.

Yes, Swatting is just like that clip from Seinfeld – only no book theft was involved. And in case you’re wondering how much the average Swatting call costs, well, the numbers are staggering. People, seriously, don’t swat. It costs us and it costs you.

The third, much more difficult problem, is the relative ease with which individuals can operate relatively anonymously on the internet, using free VoIP numbers, encrypted communications, proxy servers that obscure internet protocol addresses, and similar technologies.

As Finley demonstrated, it’s not impossible to hunt down suspects who use these technologies – it’s just extremely time-consuming and resource-intensive. Finley estimates he spent more than a thousand hours tracking down those two teenagers, neither of whom will spend much time behind bars, yet this is a crime that can cost police departments as much as $100,000 per incident and could result in fatalities. It’s a crime they’re far more motivated to solve than, say, threats issued via Twitter.

Despite all this, there are some who argue that the ability to remain anonymous on the internet is essential, and a sign of a healthy government. “The ability to speak anonymously enables people to express minority opinions,”said Greg Norcie, staff technologist for the Center for Democracy & Technology. “We’re not going to have a situation where we always solve every crime. If you create a situation where society is without crime and risk, it ends up being very totalitarian.”

That’s right – each crank call to a police department can cost upwards of $100,000 or more. Yes, the same number as on chocolate candy bars is how much it costs you to make a SWAT call. And like this incident in California proves – it can also have serious consequences and get you in serious trouble with the law!

It appears Andrew Finch's "swatting" death began with an online session of "Call of Duty: WWII." It's a violent video game designed to emulate combat as seen from a soldier's point of view.
But no one is supposed to die. Not in real life.
On Wednesday, Los Angeles prosecutors filed a warrant aimed at sending Tyler Barriss, 25, the California man suspected of swatting Finch, to Sedgwick County, Kansas, to face a felony false alarm charge.

Swatting is the act of making a false police report -- usually of an urgent or violent crime -- to lure law enforcement or SWAT teams to a location.

Yes, as the old saying goes – don’t get mad, get even. Think of swatting like playing a game of Russian roulette – shoot once fine. Shoot twice, boom. But one thing that the increased use of swatting is showing is that it’s exposing just how violent police can be:

Even taking the police narrative as fact in all of these stories, the outcomes emphasize the need for police officers — particularly those who respond to volatile situations — to be trained in de-escalation, to be screened for hotheads and to be trained to tame their own fear and anxiety. Because sometimes a rifle really is just a pellet gun. Sometimes a hostage situation is a prank. Sometimes a dispatcher gets it wrong. And sometimes a man “reaching for his waistband” is just trying to pull up his pants.

But these stories also show that what the police claim to have seen isn’t what happened. Here at The Watch, we’ve catalogued a litany of cases in which police claimed to have seen unarmed men reaching for their waistbands. No doubt some of them were, so that they could pull up their pants. Even if all of these suspects really did reach for their waistbands, the fact that so many were unarmed would seem to demand that police be trained to understand that reaching for one’s waistband does not necessarily mean one is reaching for a gun and that such an act, in and of itself, doesn’t merit lethal force. It would seem to demand that the courts emphasize this point as well.


So there you have it. There’s high cost, it could get you killed or arrested, and increasingly hostile police mean that anything can happen. That’s enough to make you ask – Swatting:

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and is our weekly duty to tell you why the holiest among us are the most full of:

How great is our Top 10 Gospel Choir? Give it up for them! Now you may be seated, my fair congregation! So… the Good LAWRD has brought us together once again! I will begin this week by asking the same question I have asked the last few weeks. And in this time of healing after a national tragedy who do you turn to for guidance? Well, you definitely don’t turn to this guy!

Radical right-wing pastor Kevin Swanson was not impressed with yesterday’s nationwide walkout in which thousands of students left school to protest gun violence in the wake of the mass shooting last month at a Florida high school, saying that the fact that the movement is being led by young people is a sign that America is under the judgment of God.

On his “Generations” radio program today, Swanson read a passage from Isaiah in which God threatened to punish Judah by warning that “I will give children to be their princes and babes shall rule over them.”

“This is the curse that God places upon nations,” Swanson said. “The people will be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbor. The child will be insolent toward the elder and the base towards the honorable. As for my people, children are their oppressors and women shall rule over them. Oh my people, those who lead you cause you to err and destroy the way of your paths.”

“In other words, the young folks have all this revolutionary zeal but no real wisdom to govern what they are doing,” he said. “This is the result of the breaking of the commandment of God. Things are not going well with us in the land, we are not seeing things going well for tens of millions, if not hundreds of millions of people across the country largely because the massive violation of the Fifth Commandment: Honor your father and your mother.”

Excuse me a minute, my fair congregation! OK, I am back. But seriously now the Christian right has gone off the hook batshit crazy! Because, as we say, my fair congregation, that the holiest among us are also the most full of holy shit! Especially this guy – Mike Shoesmith, who claims that our dearly departed Brother Stephen Hawking, was kept alive by – wait for it – demons! YES DEMONS WALK AMONG US!!!!

On his radio program last week, Donald Trump-loving pastor, conspiracy theorist and birther Carl Gallups interviewed Mike Shoesmith, the executive editor of PNN News, who claimed that famed physicist Stephen Hawking was able to live for decades with ALS because he was being kept alive by demons.

Shoesmith, who normally appears on Gallups’ program to complain about women, insisted that it was no coincidence that Hawking died just weeks after Billy Graham passed away, explaining that Graham’s ministry “really kicked off” in 1942, which prompted the devil to use Hawking, who was born in 1942, to counter Graham’s preaching.

“[Graham] is a hundred percent devoted,” Shoesmith said. “The Lord sees his heart, gives him a tremendous ministry, and who do you think is sitting in the background going, ‘I have to do something about this, this guy is sold out, I have to do something’? Who do you think is sitting in the background doing that? The devil, right?”

“So, in 1942, that is when Billy Graham’s ministry really takes off, and who do you think was born in 1942?” he continued. “Stephen Hawking. Stephen Hawking comes from a long line of atheists—his father and all these people—so I believe the devil said, ‘OK, this guy was just born and I’m going to use this guy. This guy is already primed to accept my message that there is no God. He is already primed for it, he is going to be awash, immersed in atheism all his years as a child, I’m going to take over this guy’s life.'”

Pfff… that dang science! Who needs it??? Because there are DEMONS WALKING AMONG US!!! They must be vanquished by the good lord JAYSUS!!! For after all he is the creator of all things good and holy, can I get an amen??? But demons exist within our own administration! Because apparently our GAWD has taken the form of president Donald J. Trump and is casting demons out!!

Self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor made another appearance on Greg Hunter’s “USAWatchdog” program over the weekend, where he explained that all of the turnover within the Trump administration is simply God removing people from office because they are not on board with His plan to use President Trump to save America.

“As far as the White House is concerned, these people that are getting cut,” Taylor said. “God is separating the wheat from the chaff right now. If you are not on board with God’s vision—and people can blame this on Donald Trump all they want to, but Donald Trump was put in there to institute God’s vision, so you are either on board with God’s vision or you’re gone. It’s as simple as that.”

“We had the biggest victory November 8 that we have ever had in this country,” he said later. “That was Donald Trump becoming president, setting the New World Order way back—I think it’s longer than a 25 or 30 year period because when they start arresting these people, there is no telling how long it is going to devastate the New World Order.”

Yes, and we cast you out as well!!! But fear not – Brother Franklin has a solution! If you fear that demons exist, simply become a republican president of the United States! Because you will be cleansed of your sins!!!

Far-right pastor Franklin Graham claims that Trump has yet ‘to sin’ once since becoming President.

Far-right pastor Franklin Graham claims that Trump has yet ‘to sin’ once since becoming President. According to the Washington Post, Trump lied a reported 2,140 time during his first year in office. Last time we checked, lying is a sin.

Now Brother Franklin, tell me, how does getting spanked with a copy of a magazine picturing thyself not qualify as a sin? Because it certainly is a sin in our book! I can even point you the right chapter and verse where it even says so! But fear not, my fair congregation! For the evil forces of bad nature are descending upon Washington, and only one person can save them!!!

Last night, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a video on Periscope in which he prayed for President Trump and against Democratic efforts to gain control of Congress in the 2018 elections.

“Those in our own nation that are arming themselves to destroy the will of Your people, the will of a justly elected person,” Wallnau prayed, “Lord, we overturn the Ides of March, the conspiracies and the councils of death and destruction that would try to take this man out of office.”

Wallnau warned that if “the midterm elections prove that the fury and froth and madness stirred up by propaganda by the left” is effective enough to shift control of Congress, then this nation will never have peace or unity because “there is a corrupt root so strongly embedded” in the Democrats.

“I’m telling you now,” Wallnau declared, “the spirit of darkness wants to neutralize this presidency in September [sic] of 2018, but we decree and declare that there is a turning over of the tables for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen, for that reason this man was given a title a honor as president. Though he did not know God fully when he started, he knows that there is a God of Israel right now. Father, we pray, though you have been a God who hides himself, that you will now reveal your arm and foil even the false signs of false prognosticators, counselors, coordinators and schemers working within the political apparatus, the media apparatus, the television, the entertainment, the grassroots organizing, even to dry up the resources of those who are using their wealth as a mechanism to choke the future of the United States.”

Yes, because even JAYSUS doesn’t know what to say, Brother Lance! But the take away I hope you get from today’s sermon is that even though there may be demons everywhere, just remember that we need to stop the demons and god haters!!

On his television program today, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker warned that liberals in America hate God so much that they are working to remove all the crosses from Arlington National Cemetery.

“Don’t touch God’s anointed,” Bakker said. “You are going to see some things happen, you are going to say, ‘My God, my God, why are people falling over dead?’ Because they have touched God’s anointed.”

Bakker fumed that people are “are so sick in America that they don’t respect anything” and have even “blasphemed Billy Graham’s memory.”

“They don’t respect God,” he said. “You know what they are talking about they’re going to do now? They’re going to remove all the crosses at the great cemetery in Washington.”

Yes, even JAYSUS is speechless on this one! There you have it folks, demons do walk among us and they take the form of the most godly among us! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Our Stan Lee Cameo
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Presenting the finest in arm-chair based investigative journalism. It’s now time for:

Stan Lee. He’s the man, the myth, the legend behind some of the world’s biggest comic book properties and the creator of Marvel Comics. He’s the Hugh Hefner of the comic book world. And his name is synonymous with a celebrity movie cameo. In fact a Google search for “Stan Lee cameos” yields hundreds of sites dedicated to the man’s cameos in his own movies. But recently audit reports came back from Stan The Man’s estate. And well it’s not pretty.

Considering the fact Stan Lee helped create pretty much every single one of the world's most popular superheroes and has an executive producer credit on almost every Marvel movie, you wouldn't think that money would be an issue for him. However, a new report from The Daily Beast reveals that his finances are in a state of disarray because people around Lee are taking advantage of the elderly creator of beloved characters like Spider-Man, the X-Men, The Avengers, and The Incredible Hulk.

One anonymous source describes the situation as "a real f***ing mess" and notes that over the past few months, Lee has lost $1.4 million due to technical issues with a wire transfer, while $300,000 was removed from one of Lee's bank accounts with an allegedly unauthorized cheque made out to Hands of Respect, a company owned by his daughter JC's former business partner, Jerry Olivarez.

That was founded by Lee and Olivarez but the former claims to have not seen any profits from the company despite the fact that a promise was made that it would generate a lot of money. Is Olivarez a con-man? Who knows but sources tell the site that a lot of people are now in Stan and his daughter's life, taking advantage of them in a big to make money off the vulnerable comic book creator.

"[JC’s] she’s never met a con man she doesn’t like, you know?" notes the so-called family insider. "Stan is not a whole lot better. Maybe their contemporaries and friends are all dead, and now they just have a bunch of hangers-on and sketchy-ass people hanging around. I have the feeling that he has been taken by everyone in the world."

So this is actually a pretty scary financial situation regarding Stan The Man. And it’s not looking like it’s going to get any better. So here’s more about this situation.

You’d imagine that—as one of the most important people in comics history, who always happens to have executive produced and had cameos in all of Marvel’s films—Stan Lee wouldn’t exactly have to worry about money. But according to a report from The Daily Beast, Lee’s finances are in a state of disarray thanks to people in his orbit who’ve been taking advantage of him in order to get to his wealth.

Described by one anonymous source as “a real fucking mess,” Lee’s current situation is a complicated one. Over the course of the past few months, Lee lost $1.4 million due to a technical issue with a wire transfer and $300,000 was removed one of Lee’s bank accounts with an allegedly unauthorized check made out to Hands of Respect, an organization that he’s no longer a part of. Hands of Respect was a charity of sorts founded by Lee and Jerry Olivarez, his daughter JC’s former business partner.

Though Hands of Respect was a for-profit company that prominently featured Lee’s involvement in promotional materials, the Lee family claims that they’ve yet to see any profits and are currently looking into auditing the business. Speaking about the partnership, JC cast it in a negative light:

Yes, Stan Lee might actually have to take a job as a UPS driver looking for guys with names like Tony Stank. But his dire financial situation may leave a ripple effect on the entire comic book industry. Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

I have received similar concern from high levels at Marvel Comics, including from those who don’t like Anderson, but do appreciate what Max has done for Stan, keeping him active and alive, as both a manager and a close friend to the man.

While I understand that there was friction between Stan Lee, JC Lee, Max Anderson and other business partners, the loss of Stan’s wife Joanne Lee seems to have brought things to a head.

The Daily Mail has exclusively run a number of reports alleging that Stan Lee abused and harassed nursing and healthcare individuals, and Max Anderson was first intimated and then named as being involved with these incidents, even being the instigator. And of a further incident at Stan’s home.

They also brought up charges from Anderson’s past on domestic abuse involving his wife in 2002 and his son in 2010, the first of which he spent time in jail for and the second of which, he was on probation. I understand that Stan was aware of these convictions.

Yes, maybe Stan should call on the Hulk to smash this into oblivion. Because he’s in a deep state of financial burden and it doesn’t look like it’s going away any time soon. Especially when you factor that he’s been taken for quite a large sum of money.

Two San Bernardino men have been arrested and charged with felonies for the alleged theft of a trove of Marvel Comics collectibles valued at $1.4 million.

Some of the items recovered include movie props such as “Captain America” shields, the arm and hand of Nebula from “Guardians of the Galaxy,” an Einherjar shield from “Thor,” an “Iron Man” mask, and a set of X-23 claws from “Logan.” Signed artwork by retired Marvel publisher Stan Lee and a special edition “Spider-Man” electric guitar were also recovered.

The investigation by the San Bernardino County sheriff’s Rancho Cucamonga station began Feb. 22 when the unidentified collector received word that several of his Marvel items were appearing for sale on the internet, leading him to discover his storage facility had been burglarized.

One of the alleged suspects was identified from information he had provided interested buyers, a release from the Sheriff’s Department said.

Detectives developed leads and Ian Florez, 35, of San Bernardino was arrested Feb. 24 on a warrant. Court records show a not guilty plea on charges of grand theft and burglary. He’s currently free on bond.

Yes, that is a good question, Cap. What are you going to do to make things right? Well, this is a very sticky situation that needs to be resolved with Stan Lee. And we will keep an eye on this situation as it develops. That concludes this week. Good day.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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If you’ve played the amazing game Super Mario Odyssey, you will probably know where I’m going with this next entry. So if Donald Trump is Bowser, the Alt Right are like Bowser’s minions in the game – known as the Broodals. The same assholes (Cernovich, Posobiec, Loomer, Lahren, Spencer, Alex Jones) show up to ruin every party, their abilities get crazier and crazier, but you have to fight them. And the fights get more intense every time. And when you kick them down, they get right back up again. So case in point – when you fight them out of CPAC, what do they do? Start their own conference!

Ali Akbar, a political operative in the self-described “New Right” movement, formally announced yesterday that a “team of 25 professionals” are working to create a right-wing political conference meant to be an alternative to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which has served as the primary gathering of the conservative movement for decades.

Akbar, with the help of a signal boost from pro-Trump pundit and activist Jack Posobiec, announced yesterday that the “American Priority” conference will take place in Washington, D.C. in early September. Akbar is organizing the conference with Alex Phillips, a conservative donor who owns a small telecom company in Virginia. Posobiec told Right Wing Watch that he helped announce the event, but otherwise is not formally involved in organizing it.

The group has also hired Lisa DePasquale, who directed CPAC while working for the American Conservative Union from 2006 to 2011, to help host the conference.

So now things are getting interesting! Yes – we have an entirely new conference to ignore! I mean “alt right”, “new right”, “alt lite”, who gives a shit what they’re called this week? We should just start calling them what they really are – Nazis! And by the way doesn’t “alt lite” sound like it should be some sort of new diet soda? Try new Alt Lite today! Now with 50% more cucks! And speaking of that, last week, after the epic fail at Michigan State University (and no, I’m not counting their epic loss to Syracuse last week), Richard Spencer decided to call it quits.

Instead, it turned into a disaster, as restaurants and clubs booted Spencer and his followers seeking to hold a meeting/party and more people were arrested outside of his speech than heard it inside.

Spencer spoke at the agricultural pavilion on the East Lansing, Michigan campus on Monday. But, only about a dozen people turned out to hear the speech as more than 200 students, professors, antifa activists and anarchists protested outside on a cold, windy overcast day.

And, while the dozen made it in after getting a police escort through a gauntlet of taunts and cheers to “Nazis Go Home!” 24 people, including Gregory Conte, a Spencer ally and operations director for the National Policy Institute, were arrested.

Well it wont be springtime for Hitler at Richard Spencer’s house. Thank you! And then would you be surprised that the head of an alt whatever organization was arrested for assault on his wife? This story has everything!

Matthew Heimbach, the leader of the Traditionalist Worker Party, is free on bond after being charged with battery in southern Indiana after a bizarre sequence of events involving Heimbach having an affair with his chief spokesman’s wife.

Police in Paoli, Indiana, said Heimbach attacked his wife and TWP spokesman Matt Parrott early Tuesday morning after the two confronted him about the affair with Parrott’s wife.

After the arrest, Parrott announced he was walking away from the group.

“I’m done. I’m out,” Parrott told the Southern Poverty Law Center on Tuesday. “SPLC has won. Matt Parrott is out of the game. Y’all have a nice life.”

Sounds about right! But in case you’re wondering who’s really the charge – who’s really the captain steering this janky ship right now – it’s the alt right! It’s almost as if we’re living in the Matrix!

Condemning neo-Nazis and white nationalists seems like a goal many politicians can get behind (with the possible exception of President Donald Trump).

But, a group of Republican lawmakers in Tennessee opted to let a resolution opposing the racists die in a subcommittee rather than let it go forward.

House Joint Resolution 583 failed to get a second in the House State Government Subcommittee because no one would second a motion to take up the issue.

The resolution condemned bigotry by white nationalists and neo-Nazis. It also stated that Tennessee “and its people will not tolerate discrimination or hate in any form or manifestation.”

Law enforcement agencies would have also been urged to treat such groups as terrorist organizations and investigate criminal elements of the groups in the same way terrorists are handled.

And here's where the Alt Right blurs the line between a full cult and just a group with a batshit crazy message. Mike Cernovich claims that he believes in something called "the Gorilla Mindset" and even he's not sure what that means. I mean really he sounds like the Grandmaster from Thor: Ragnarok!

Mike Cernovich, a pro-Trump social media personality and self-declared leader of a movement he calls the “New Right,” claimed that nobody knows his true political beliefs and that the only thing he believes in is the “Gorilla Mindset,” the mentality behind his his self-help book and lifestyle brand.


“Don’t you dare say I endorse Louis Farrakhan. Don’t you dare say that when I throw out an idea that people are talking about, that that’s my view. You don’t know what I believe. Nobody knows what I believe. I’ve told people that the only thing that I believe is ‘Gorilla Mindset,’” Cernovich said, referring to his brand of self-help books and nutritional supplements. “I’ve told people that.”

He continued, “People go, ‘What’s your political things, what’s your politics?’ I go, ‘Look, I’m just a vessel for what people are saying. I’m just a talk show host.’ This is what I grew up watching and it was a beautiful time. Geraldo Rivera, you would just bring in people and say, ‘OK, here’s a bunch of crazy people. Here’s what the crazy people are saying.’ The world was a better place. The world was a better place when you could just say, ‘Here’s what all the lunatics are saying. Here’s what’s going on.’”

Cernovich said that this “mindset” is his top priority, and that politics naturally “flow from that.”

“I believe in the power—liberal, conservative, Christian, Jew, Catholic, Muslim, atheist, agnostic—I believe in the power to change your life and I believe that if you adopt a positive mindset that politics is going to flow from that,” Cernovich said.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink

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It’s now time for:


And man I need a drink. I feel like every time Trump fires someone we should all collectively take a shot of something, that way we will get blackout drunk and when we come to, this nightmare of an administration will be over! So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a cheeseburger prepared by a robot? A fuzzy navel? Eh, I’ll just have a large IPA thanks! Ah that’s more like it. So we’re going just slightly north of my hometown to Pasadena for this story. Yes, there is a robot that flips burgers, and yes, it outlasted the employees. But this story is stranger than you would think!

A year after announcing a partnership with Caliburger, Miso Robotics’ resident chef has finally graduated Hamburger University. The AI-enabled line cook starts today, joining the human crew at the fast casual restaurant’s Pasadena location during the lunch shift.

The deal has been in the works for some time, with plans to bring the robot to 50 of the chain’s international locations. Back in September, around the same time Miso CEO Dave Zito was on-stage at Disrupt SF, Flippy was being demoed at the Pasadena restaurant — the robotics’ company’s home turf. Today, however, the first real world implementation of the technology.

The initial appeal of the system is pretty clear for a restaurant like Caliburger, which will no doubt drum up some publicity for its early adoption of robotic kitchen equipment. But along with the other investors that have helped Miso raise a total of $14 million in disclosed funding, there’s hope for long-term benefits in an industry where turnover is a big obstacle in keeping a kitchen up and running.

So Flippy is the… mmm… that’s a good beer right there, but Flippy is the product of mass market research and $14 million of innovation engineering. That’s about the best I can sound like a marketer because otherwise I have no idea what I am talking about! What? I’ve never designed a robot before! Let’s explore further.

"Flippy" the robot has learned the hard way that your co-workers can make or break you.

The burger-flipping robotic fry cook has been temporarily "retired." Why? Because the robot's human colleagues couldn't keep up with it.

Built by Miso Robotics, Flippy, described on the company's website as "the world's first autonomous robotic kitchen assistant," was touted as a high-tech helper for fast-food restaurant kitchens in a statement announcing its unveiling in 2017. Equipped with a spatula-tipped arm, Flippy was built to operate alongside human workers and to increase efficiency in cooking and grill maintenance.

But poor Flippy faced unexpected challenges in meeting the demands of hungry restaurant patrons, and was relieved of his responsibilities after only two days on the job. [The 6 Strangest Robots Ever Created]

But it wasn't Flippy's fault. Rather, the robot's human co-workers weren't able to assemble the burgers as quickly as Flippy could grill the patties, USA Today reported.

Aw, you can’t fire Flippy! He’s Flippy… he’s a robot! So in case you’re wondering about how Flippy works there’s a lot of interesting stuff here for you people who like to figure that sort of thing out.

Next time you swing by a fast food joint for a burger, don’t be surprised if you see a one-armed robot at work in the kitchen. That’s probably just Flippy the burger-flipping robot doing its job.

Flippy is an autonomous assistant designed to work alongside humans in restaurant kitchens. Created by Miso Robots of Pasadena, California, Flippy recently completed its first shift at a fast food restaurant there — and one day could be put to work in kitchens across the country.

In Pasadena, Flippy is working the lunchtime shift at a CaliBurger restaurant, part of a restaurant chain that also has outlets in Canada, Mexico, and China. But human burger-flippers needn’t flip out about losing their jobs to Flippy; humans are still needed to place the raw patties on the grill and perform other burger-cooking tasks.

I really would like to see a robot that can high five itself! Excuse me a minute, I need some more Jack Daniels. Ah, that’s the stuff! So for those of you who are afraid that automation is really what’s going to take your jobs, take comfort in knowing that Flippy won’t be the beginning of the end!

Flippy, the burger-flipping robot has been fired from his job, just one day after starting. Flippy was ‘hired’ by Pasadena Caliburger, with the KPI of cooking 150 burgers an hour.

Unfortunately, the task proved too much for the robot who appears to have given up. At the time of hiring, the CEO of Cali Group the company that runs the burger chain was reported as saying, "The key to success in the restaurant industry is consistency. So anytime you go to a CaliBurger anywhere you know that the patty will be cooked exactly the same.”
Flippy will make a comeback

But it doesn't seem to have worked out. Flippy was developed by Miso Robotics and is actually like a giant robot arm rather than a cute humanoid burger maker.

Flippy used thermal imaging, 3D, and camera vision to sense when to flip the burgers - and when to remove. "It detects the temperature of the patty, the size of the patty and the temperature of the grill surface," explained David Zito, co-founder and chief executive officer of Miso Robotics.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome to Round 1 Week 1 of our Stupidest State contest! We are live in our hometown of Anaheim, California at the Honda Center. We have not one, but two exciting matchups for you. Game 1 will see the team that had the best record in the regular season – Iowa, against long time conference favorite Kentucky! Meanwhile, game #2 will be a big one as Arizona and Montana are going to bring out their big guns in an old west duel to the death in a rematch of last year’s conference championship! And just like the NCAA – the winner will move on. The loser will go home. So let’s get out our brackets!

[font size="6"]Game 1: Batshit Conference – Iowa Vs. Kentucky [/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

Well come on, “United We Stand”, a common phrase for the gun nuts, is in the state flag! That’s the Blue Grass state everybody. It’s the one state in the union that was the first to vote for @realDonaldTrump. Of course we know that this state is the home of our most batshit crazy senators – Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. It’s also the home of ultra far right fundie nutbag governor Matt Bevin. And it’s the state that gave us religious right celebrity Kim Davis. It’s the home of the University Of Kentucky and their mutli champion basketball team the UK Wildcats. It’s also the home of the Louisville Cardinals who were at the center of one of the dumbest school scandals of all time. But what else is Kentucky the home of? It’s the home of a possible child bride law!

Just when you think the Republican Party can sink no lower, just when you assume the party that supported a child molester for Senate in Alabama and elected an admitted sexual predator to the White House they discover a whole new, hitherto unimagined, degree of depravity.

The Courier-Journal reports that Republicans in the Kentucky Senate have voted down a measure to raise the minimum age for marriage to eighteen. The GOP decided it was more important to ensure parents can easily marry off their children than it was to prevent child marriages.

The bill the Republicans rejected was called the “Child Bride Bill,” which perfectly puts into perspective how vile the opposition to it was. Supporters of the blocked legislation said that most underage marriages involved an older man and a teenage girl who most likely has been sexually exploited. It’s sadly not surprising that the party of Trump — a man accused of raping a 13-year-old girl — would support such a despicable move.

That’s suddenly that much creepier. We have to keep these things short for time since there’s two matches per round this week. What else is Kentucky the home of? You think their national level politicians are bad, wait until you see what their state level ones are doing!

FRANKFORT, Ky. – One premise behind a bill pending in the Kentucky House that would roll back long-established unemployment benefits is that limiting benefits will motivate laid-off workers to try harder to find a job.

Instead of getting unemployment checks for the current maximum of 26 weeks, they would only be able to get them for a number of weeks tied to the state unemployment rate. Right now, that means they'd get 14 weeks.

“We’ve got a segment of folks that use their unemployment instead of getting out there and looking for employment," said Rep. Jim DeCesare, a Rockfield Republican and sponsor of the bill. He said Kentucky ranks second among states in the length of time its people remain on unemployment benefits.

[font size="4"]Iowa[/font]

So Iowa is a state that we haven’t covered here in the Stupidest State contest. Iowa is the home of farming country but it also is the home of two of the world’s major universities – Iowa University and Iowa State University. You might remember Iowa as the school that got their asses handed to them in the 2016 Rose Bowl when they took on Stanford. The Hawkeye State is also the home of lots of great sports, food, and concerts in the states’ two main major cities – Cedar Rapids (as seen in the Ed Helms movie Cedar Rapids) and the capital Des Moines. What else is Iowa the home of? Well, again, some batshit insane legislatures! I give you Bill Dix!

The consequences of now-former Senate Majority Leader Bill Dix’s relationship with a lobbyist did not end with just with his abrupt resignation. Ripple effects from the scandal that shook the Statehouse continue to be felt in the Capitol and beyond. Here’s what’s happening:

Top Senate Aide Steps Down

Ed Failor, the senior aide to former Senator Dix, announced late Tuesday afternoon that he was resigning from his position. He explained that he wanted the new Republican leader (who will be selected today) to be able to put together his own team in the office. Some members of the Republican caucus were reportedly frustrated with Failor for what they saw as his poor handling of the Kirsten Anderson sexual harassment issue, though it does sound like Failor’s decision on Tuesday was his own.

And then Iowa is also the home of a guy named Mark Chelgren. We’ve talked about this douche on the Top 10 before but we’ll leave you with one of his greatest hits.

Iowa’s public universities would need to consider political party affiliation when hiring new faculty members, under a bill proposed by a Republican state senator.

State senator Mark Chelgren said the measure was an attempt to counter the liberal slant at the state’s three public universities.

“My goal isn’t to eliminate speech on the other side of the equation, but we have to have balanced speech,” said Chelgren, from Ottumwa.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have our first upset of the tournament – Kentucky came out strong here and went on a 15 – 1 run against Iowa! And… they won! Kentucky is celebrating on the court, they knocked off the heavily favored Iowa by a score of 89 – 67! Wow, what a finish! Kentucky routes the division champs and they will move on!

[font size="6"]Game 2: Gun Nut Conference – Montana Vs Arizona [/font]

[font size="4"]Montana[/font]

So when we last left off Montana was in the middle of that insane special election where Greg Gianforte body slammed and threatened to murder a reporter – and doubled down on his threat – and he still got elected! That will show you how violent the state of Montana is. And of course the topic here is guns. I mean we are in Montana, after all! They have the highest concentration of gun manufacturers and racist hate groups in the entire country. There’s really not a lot to do in Montana but hate and shoot the biggest guns known to man. Here’s how reckless the ven diagram of both groups are:

Threats against schools: A Darby senior was in court this week after telling fellow students he was "going to shoot up the school." MacLean William Kayser, 18, told classmates that those wearing yellow shirts to school the following day would be "a target'' but those in red shirts would be safe. He then pointed at various students, saying “you’re a red shirt” or “you’re a yellow shirt,” according to an affidavit of probable cause filed Tuesday in Ravalli County Justice Court.

On Thursday, Missoula's Big Sky High School was on lock-in after graffiti was found in a girls' bathroom that said "Don't be at Big Sky at 1:20." The school allowed parents to pick up teir kids.

On Wednesday, Darby Superintendent Loyd Rennaker confirmed another social media threat toward the school. Extra law enforcement officers were at the school Wednesday, including four Ravalli County Sheriff's Department officers and Darby Police.

In Philipsburg, a student was arrested and charged with a felony. Granite County Sheriff Scott Dunkerson said the student made threats against schools in the town.

In Missoula, Big Sky High School dealt with reports that a student made a verbal threat toward the school. The school's "threat assessment team" found there to be a "low threat" to the school, and the student is back in classes.

That’s right – the gun nuts in Montana are so insane that they literally threatened multiple schools that participated in last week’s walk out. You can’t get much more evil than that folks! And in case you’re wondering how much Montana loves its’ guns, well, once again state laws are more insane than national laws!

Since the shooting and killing of 17 people at a high school in Parkland, Florida, on Feb. 14, the Montana chapter of Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense has been busy.

The group, which formed shortly after the 2012 school shooting in Sandy Hook, where 27 were killed, has seen a huge increase in people liking their Facebook page, commenting on posts and sending messages asking how to get involved. A first meeting of the group's Bozeman chapter last week had 80 people, said Kiely Lammers, the Billings chapter leader who is involved in the statewide organization.

A national movement, led by a strong-voiced and even stronger-willed group of high school students, is bringing a dialogue on changing gun laws to states like Montana. Over the past week and a half here, high school and college student groups have rapidly formed and added to the chorus of groups like Moms Demand Action, which has been involved in statewide legislative efforts for several years.


[font size="4"]Arizona[/font]

We are back in Arizona everybody! Yes the state that gave us batshit crazy governor Jan Brewer, the Minutemen Militia, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio once again shows no signs of slowing down when it comes to producing some of the country’s craziest gun laws. Arizona is one of the most heavily red states that somehow managed to go for Obama mainly because the GOP had no other candidate. But in 2018 Arizona, Infowars conspiracy theories and Trump propaganda reign supreme! In fact you know that law that Trump is proposing to arm teachers in the event of a mass shooting? Who needs it? Arizona had that law on the books already!

PHOENIX — The White House earlier this week proposed providing "rigorous firearm training" to qualified school personnel, furthering the polarizing national debate over whether teachers should be allowed to carry guns in school.

In Florida, site of last month's massacre that left 17 dead, Gov. Rick Scott signed into law a set of new gun restrictions that allow some teachers and staff to carry guns on school campuses.

But Arizona may be ahead of this curve. Here teachers already can carry guns in school — with permission — according to the state's top education administrator.

And I mean come on – Arizona republicans have even lost the youth vote! I mean when you’ve lost them, you’ve hit rock bottom! And when you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go from here but up, is there? Oh and Mr. Martinez, sir, we say “good luck with that!”.

On Wednesday, however, the 16-year-old announced to a crowd of reporters, activists, and lawmakers that he'd be stepping down until the Republican Party takes action to prevent gun violence.

"For those of you who will attack me because of this decision, let me remind you that I am not against the Second Amendment," he said. "I am not against people owning guns. But I am against students being gunned down because we don't like to get together, work across the lines, and figure out these issues like human beings."

Martinez, who attends Dobson High in Mesa, has been active in politics for several years. He volunteered for Ted Cruz's presidential campaign, and helped out with Kelli Ward's last Senate run. Arriving at the state Capitol on Wednesday, however, he was disappointed to find out that Republican legislators weren't interested in listening to teenagers who'd come to talk about gun control.

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh this was a close match. It was back and forth the entire game with Arizona shouting that their guns are bigger than Montana’s. The score is 65 – 65 going into the last 10 seconds… Montana for the win!!! And it’s in!!!! Montana wins against heavily favored Arizona! They are celebrating on the court, and they will move onto the next round! Oh man what a game!

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For Round 1 Week 2 – we’re live at the beautiful T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, and it’s Kansas going for broke against the coal mining CEOs in West Virginia, while Indiana and Alabama square away in a Family Values face off!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Arcade Fire[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you don’t have their new album “Everything Now” by now, you are no friend of this show. Playing their song “Put Your Money On Me”, give it up for Arcade Fire!!!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-9: Give My Regards To Mr. Magoo Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-9: Give My Regards To Mr. Magoo Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with! Whew!!!!! You know how it’s going to be a good day when you start off the day with that little spring in your step? Because no matter how bad your day gets, just remember – anything bad that happens to Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli is definitely something that makes the day that much better! So we have discussed this story so much on the Top 10 since it began because I love this story. So you know that Martin Shkreli is the only owner of the Wu Tang Clan’s single-printed album “Once Upon A Time In Shaolin”, right? And remember when the Wu Tang Clan wrote into the contract that they could pull off a heist and steal the album at any time? Well, it looks like Once Upon A Time In Shaolin might be the subject of a government civil asset forfeiture. In fact Shkreli bragged about how he wanted to destroy the only copy of the album at one point. And then he made that promise to release the album if Trump became president? And then he got duped by the Wu Tang Clan who revealed that he might have purchased a fraudulent copy of the album? Well now he must forfeit the album as part of a $7.4 million payback. Which officially brings closure to this insane story. Although part of me really wants to see if the Wu Tang Clan pulls off a heist to retrieve it back from Shkreli. You still got time guys before the album becomes the property of the US government! OK enough of the intro – we got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he exposes the insanity behind the NRA’s NRATV channel:

So where do we start this week? Well, first off returning to the number one spot this week is Donald J. Trump (1)! And he hit a milestone last week – he hit 100 days spent on the golf course! Trump golfs while America burns. In the second slot this week is also Donald Trump (2), who had one of his worst weeks ever this week. Turns out he’s running the worst White House in history! In the number 3 seed this week is the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin (3), and it turns out that he has a powerful new weapon that could kill a whole lot of us. Taking the fourth slot this week is United Airlines (4). And just when you think you’ve seen the depths of corporate greed and evil, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Speaking of income inequality, taking the fifth slot this week is a new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” (5) and this time we’re going to discuss an income inequality crisis brewing at Disneyland. It’s much scarier than you would think! Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly sermon on the things the Christian right is up to in “Holy Shit” (6), and among other wackiness, Pastor Initech is going to show you a church where you can literally marry your gun. At number 7 is our old buddy Alex Jones who was hopping mad this week after advertisers started pulling from his Youtube channel, while he held a march in Austin, Texas and well, it was a spectacular fail. In the number 8 slot, is Donald Trump’s HUD secretary and brainless brain surgeon Ben Carson – who revealed that governmenting is hard, after getting heat for spending $31K on his office space. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to discuss booze news, particularly whiskey brand Johnny Walker and their new women-oriented marketing campaign. And finally it’s the return of the National For Fuck’s Sake Association and the long-awaited return of our Stupidest State contest! We have a lot of newcomers this year and some exciting changeups. This week it’s our Selection Sunday and just like March Madness we’ll name the states that will get to participate in the tournament! And we’ll close out this week with a live performance from Weird Al Yankovic! Yes, the almighty parodist has graced us with his presence! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

So this week our president Donald J. Trump hit a new milestone. And he is going to keep it 100 by spending so much time golfing! I mean remember when he said that he was going to be “working so hard that he wouldn’t have any time for golf”? Well, guess where he was this week? That’s right – he was at his old favorite hangout place – Mar-A-Shithole. Only this time it’s different because of this venerable milestone. Well, two milestones actually. We don't usually talk poll numbers on this program but this one I absolutely love.

President Donald Trump’s new campaign manager has his work cut out for him.

A week after naming Brad Parscale to run his reelection effort, Trump is 8 points behind a generic Democratic candidate, 44 percent to 36 percent, according to a new POLITICO/Morning Consult poll. Nearly one in five voters, 19 percent, are undecided.

Other indicators also suggest Trump is in perilous shape at this early stage. The president’s approval rating in the new poll is 43 percent, down from 46 percent last week. And Democrats’ lead on the generic congressional ballot is up to 7 points, 44 percent to 37 percent.


That's right - Trump is so toxic that the democrats right now could literally run *THAT GUY* and win! But here's the other milestone I wanted to talk about. Trump is keeping it 100! He went and celebrated his 100th day at the golf course.

Almost fourteen months into his presidency, Donald Trump has reached a dubious milestone that none before him have achieved: He’s spent his 100th day at a golf club bearing his own name.

Considering he’s only been in office for 408 days, that means he’s spent almost 25 percent of his time at a Trump-branded golf club, including during the funerals of Parkland victims, while millions of Americans remained without water and power in Puerto Rico, and for an entire week after Christmas.

The landmark was reached on Saturday at Trump’s club in Palm Beach County, Florida. CNN reports that this is one of the four Trump courses that the president has visited since he took his oath, in addition to Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida; Trump National Golf Club in Sterling, Virginia; and Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey.

Trump was extremely critical of President Obama’s golfing habits. Before he got into office, Trump infamously said that he wouldn’t have time to play golf if he was president. But since his inauguration, he has spent a staggering amount of time at his golf properties — and he is showing no signs of stopping any time soon. Around Christmas time, Trump spent nine out of 10 days playing golf. In January, he spent Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on the golf course.


Remember – his words, not mine! So with that in mind let’s take a look at some of Trump’s greatest golf hits. Not even a few weeks ago, remember when Hawaii had that insane nuclear missile scare? Guess where Trump was!

Critics are blasting President Donald Trump for continuing to golf Saturday while frantic Hawaii residents rushed for cover after a false cell phone alarm about an incoming ballistic missile.

The president was on the course at his Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, after the alert was issued at 1:09 p.m. EST, according to press pool reports. His motorcade didn’t leave the club for Mar-a-Lago until 1:38 p.m.

Although Hawaii’s Emergency Management Agency quickly tweeted that the initial warning was an error, it took 38 minutes before a second mobile alert declared the first a false alarm. Officials said the wrong button had been pushed.

Yeah remember that guy? I remember when presidents used to hide the fact that they’re completely full of shit! Now it’s out in the open! See, we know Trump is full of shit! And his supporters are apparently proud of this fact! You know where he was during the Florida shooting? Guess where!

CNN’s Anderson Cooper and other critics are taking Donald Trump to task after the president visited Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, for several hours on Monday while funerals for some victims of the Parkland school massacre were taking place less than an hour’s drive away.

“The president tweeted and played golf today, a day that saw two families bury their children,” Cooper said on Monday, referring to two of the victims of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, which killed 17 people. “He did not mention them in his tweets.”

In addition to hitting the putting green, Trump spent the President’s Day holiday weekend angrily tweeting about Oprah Winfrey, former President Obama and the Russia investigation. In one tweet, he attributed the FBI’s admitted failure to follow up on a report about the school shooter to spending too much time on the Russia investigation.

And on Trump’s Keep It 100 milestone – let’s remember that he’s not just a guy who’s addicted to golfing, he’s terrible at it!

LPGA legend Suzann Pettersen is fond of the sitting U.S. president. But she's not so sure about his handicap.

In an interview with Norwegian newspaper Verdens Gang, Pettersen detailed the many sides to her relationship with President Trump, whom she has known on and off the golf course for over a decade.

"He cheats like hell," the 15-time LPGA Tour winner said. "So I don't quite know how he is in business. They say that if you cheat at golf, you cheat at business." Pettersen also said the president must pay his caddies well, as drives that are headed for the woods always ends up back in the fairway. She also mentioned his fondness for gimmes.

The merits of President Trump's 3 handicap have come under scrutiny since he took office. Sen. Lindsey Graham told GOLF.com's Michael Bamberger about a round of 73 Trump shot in "wet, windy conditions," and aspiring pro Taylor Funk recently reported that Trump had shot 36 on the front nine during their round together. But Pettersen said in the interview that she hasn't seen that side of his game.

Yup – Trump is a real life Goldfinger! And in case it couldn’t be anymore obvious that Trump is the Country Club President, well, Trump may have violated the law this week. He obeys the best laws, folks!

The Trump Organization could be in hot legal water after ordering markers for its golf courses that feature the presidential seal, ProPublica reported Monday.

President Donald Trump's namesake company ordered the new tee markers, complete with the presidential seal, in recent weeks. Federal law forbids the seal be used for anything other than official government business.

Eagle Sign and Design, which has offices in Indiana and Kentucky, told ProPublica that it received an order for dozens of 12-inch replicas of the presidential seal to be placed next to tee boxes at Trump courses.

"We made the design, and the client confirmed the design," Joseph E. Bates, who owns the company, told ProPublica, declining to name the client.

ProPublica reviewed an order form that said the customer was "Trump International." At the same time, the company's Facebook page showed the markers in an album titled "Trump International Golf Course."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Trump has been having his worst week ever. And the hits keep on coming. But before we get into the colossal fuck up of Jared and Ivanka, well, I have to talk about this story. And I couldn’t love this story any more. So Trump blew up at Jeff Sessions this week. And it’s not too far for Trump to go off the deep end, that’s been happening since day one. But Trump compared Jeff Sessions to a beloved cartoon character. Let’s show that.

The correct answer: Mr. Magoo, the much-loved old-school cartoon character (in the words of animators Bill Hurtz, Peter Burness, and authors Marty Gitlin and Joe Wos, respectively). After a long hiatus, on Wednesday night Magoo made a surprise return to pop culture, his name bouncing around cable news and trending on Twitter — all thanks to White House intrigue.

As The Washington Post reported, President Trump’s relationship with Attorney General Jeff Sessions has reached a new low. Trump has reportedly taken to calling Sessions “Mr. Magoo” at the White House. Coming from a president known for throwing derisive nicknames at enemies and allies, the dig could be a comment on anything from Sessions’s mental prowess to his age to physical appearance. Only Trump knows.

But there is another high-profile, tremendous, bigly important executive branch figure who may be a more apt comparison with Magoo.

The central gag of the Magoo cartoons was his stubborn refusal to acknowledge his terrible eyesight. That arrogance is what propels the character into his madcap adventures. The cartoons, however, were actually barbed social satire lobbed from Magoo’s creators, a freewheeling band of animators who broke away from Walt Disney after World War II and created shorts mixing modern art and radical politics. The original Magoo — rich, resentful of the youth, pro-business and functionally blind — was a riff on the myopic conservatism of 1950s America, a culture gripped by the anti-Communist crusade of Republican Sen. Joseph McCarthy (Wis.).

Well, Mr. Trump, give my regards to Mr. Magoo. And Jeff Sessions does look like Mr. Magoo, doesn’t he? I mean come on remember when an article like this would be front page news? “President Refers To Attorney General As Cartoon Character” would be front page news in any other administration. Now it’s like on the fourth page. So here’s the latest guy to jump ship from the HMS Trumptanic:

Washington (CNN)In a defiant pair of CNN interviews, former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg said Monday he refuses to comply with a grand jury subpoena in the Russia investigation.
"Screw that," Nunberg told CNN's Gloria Borger. "Why do I have to go? Why? For what?"

And in a separate interview with CNN's Jake Tapper, Nunberg said he blamed the investigation's existence on President Donald Trump's firing of James Comey as FBI director -- including an interview where Trump said he was thinking about the Russia investigation when he fired Comey and the fact that he held a meeting with top Russian officials in the Oval Office.
"Donald Trump caused this because he's an idiot," Nunberg said.

Yes… abandon ship!!! We may have to do a deep dive on this guy in the next edition, because he crazy, I mean, seriously crazy. And that’s not before all the madness that Jared and Ivanka got themselves into this week. Yup – Jared is pretty much a goner.

Chief of staff John Kelly is reportedly frustrated with White House advisers Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump and has questioned what the couple does during the day, The Associated Press reported Monday.

Sources told the AP that Kelly is angry with the pair, claiming that they are responsible for President Trump changing his mind on policies at the last minute.

He also questions what the couple does all day and is upset by their “freelancing,” according to the AP.

The report comes after Kelly limited Kushner's access to sensitive information following a review of White House staffers' security clearances.

Kushner and Ivanka Trump reportedly viewed Kelly’s work on the clearances as a direct attack on them, according to the AP.

Well, to be fair, he went to Jared. Thank you! I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress. I mean really, how incompetent can this administration get? Even Ivanka – Trump’s own daughter – yes the girl he would bone if it were socially acceptable – is on thin ice.

WASHINGTON — They spent their first year in Washington as an untouchable White House power couple, commanding expansive portfolios, outlasting rivals and enjoying unmatched access to the president. But Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump have undergone a swift and stunning reckoning of late, their powers restricted, their enemies emboldened and their future in the West Wing uncertain.

Kushner, long the second-most powerful man in the West Wing, is under siege. President Donald Trump's son-in-law has lost influential White House allies. He remains under the shadow of the Russia probe and has seen his business dealings come under renewed scrutiny. He has been stripped of his top security clearance, raising questions how he can successfully advance his ambitious agenda — including achieving Mideast peace, a goal that has eluded presidents for generations.

Kushner's most powerful patron, the president himself, has wavered recently on whether his daughter and son-in-law belong in the White House anymore.

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[font size="8"]Vladimir Putin
[br] [/font]

It’s beginning to feel more and more like we’re in a James Bond movie – and right now we’re at the scene where the evil plot has been unveiled to the world. While rigging elections around the world, stroking the egos and fears of white nationalists through the use of fake news and racist memes, and plotting "accidents" (read: murders) against those who don't follow his dangerous agenda 100%, it turns out that Vladimir Putin has been developing a new kind of nuke we haven't seen before and has it aimed right at us! Vladdy is that James Bond villain and he’s just unveiled his evil plan. While Trump is pointing fingers at his favorite punching bag “Rocket Man”, aka Kim Jong Un, it turns out that Vladimir Putin’s got something much scarier in store for us!

During Vladimir Putin's annual speech on Thursday, the Russian president played videos that unveiled brand-new nuclear weapons with startling capabilities.

Putin announced an "unstoppable" nuclear-powered "global cruise missile" that has "practically unlimited" range, then showed an animation of the device bobbing and weaving around the globe. He also played a computer animation of a high-speed, nuke-armed submarine drone blowing up ships and coastal targets.

"Russia remained and remains the largest nuclear power. Do not forget, no one really wanted to talk to us. Nobody listened to us," Putin told a crowd in Moscow, according to a translation by Sputnik, a Russian-government-controlled news agency. "Listen now."

David Wright, a physicist and missile expert at the Union of Concerned Scientists, told Business Insider that the idea of an "unstoppable" cruise missile going around the world without being detected is "fiction," since it'd heat up to an extreme degree. (CNN also reported that all tests of the cruise missile ended in crashes.)

Yeah we're probably all gonna die. And if that's called "Satan 2" it really makes you wonder what happened to Satan 1 doesn't it? And to use the catchphrase from “Game Of Thrones” – winter is coming! Well, in this case, nuclear winter is coming!

'Putin started his activity as president at the moment when the USA left the ABM Treaty, it's one of the major decisions of Bush's administration. There is a feeling that Putin had been looking for a reply to it from the very beginning, and not just for one-two years, not just for one term. It seems he couldn't give a decent reply for a long time. It's the main goal he set for himself. In general, if Russia's safety isn't provided, they won't need to speak about any sovereignty as well as of the very fact of the existence of Russia. In this respect, it's more than an address. It's a statement of his historical mission,'' the expert is convinced.

Mezhuyev thinks that the address makes a strong impression, in the main. In his opinion, the first part of Putin's speech dedicated to social issues was no less important because military power makes sense in the interests of peaceful existence of Russians.
Source : https://realnoevremya.com/articles/2241-experts-about-vladimir-putins-address-to-federal-assembly

So while Kim Jong Un is the Oddjob to Putin’s Goldfinger, it turns out that Vlad has the power to kill a whole lot of us! That’s not a good thing, sir. So you might be asking why this? Why is Putin touting that he has the power to kill us all? Well there’s a lot of different answers one could get.

Russian president Vladimir Putin’s surprise dissertation on Russia’s new strategic weaponry, attached to Thursday’s state of the nation address, mixed some well-known technological advances with a few genuine revelations. But the technical specifics are perhaps less important than the message Putin sent to the US: The cost of a conventional war remains far too high.

Putin’s big point was that Russian nukes have myriad ways to penetrate US missile shields, and will have many more before too long. The nuclear-capable hardware the Russian leader advertised with computer-generated videos can be ranged from the well-known and combat-ready to the iffy.

The RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile probably has the ability to bypass existing US anti-missile defence systems—if only because they aren’t dense enough. The Avangard hypersonic boost glide vehicle, known to experts as Object 4202, is designed to avoid shields by flying in the upper reaches of earth’s atmosphere at a supersonic speed. It can fly at Mach 20, “moving toward the target like a meteorite, a burning ball, a ball of fire,” Putin marvelled. Both are ready or near ready to deploy.

Yup – welcome to nuclear war 2.0, only this might be for real this time! But don’t go saying goodbye to your loved ones just yet. Before you go, at least you can get your picture taken with a 40 foot Vlad cut out and an AR-15! It’s white nationalist selfie day in Russia!

The upcoming elections in Russia might be as one-sided as an Olympic race between dopers and non-dopers, but that doesn’t mean Russians aren’t still seeing lots of PR for their current (and future) President.

The latest unusual Putin promotion comes in the form of a giant augmented reality hologram, visible in the city of Tyumen to those who download a special app on their smartphone.

This means those visiting the Olympic Training Center in Tyumen are able to catch a quick selfie with the former KGB officer, whose 3D hologram is dressed in judo getup. Putin, of course, takes pride in his physical fitness, and has even published a book on judo called—perhaps surprisingly—Judo with Vladimir Putin.

The hologram, which in some images appears as tall as 40 feet, has caused a buzz on social media, though some have reportedly been less than impressed with the stunt.

Most bookmakers and political commentators think it virtually impossible that Putin could lose the upcoming election, with one betting agency offering odds as short as -50000.00 for a Putin win.

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[font size="8"]United Airlines
[br] [/font]

Another side effect of the Trump tax breaks is that it has given mega corporations free reign to do some of the most evil shit to their employees imaginable. United Airlines is one such evil entity that attempted to do this and well, it was a colossal failure. Look, we get it – we travel. Everyone travels. And for people who work for the airlines, who have to put up with our shit, we salute you. And in this day and age of extreme and increasing income inequality… just… how… who… what… where… I can’t even… WTF!!!

United Airlines President Scott Kirby sent shock waves through the employee ranks at the Chicago-based airline today.

Kirby issued an employee memo in which he announced that the Chicago-based airline is dropping the quarterly performance bonuses the carrier had been giving out to all employees qualified to receive them.

Kirby said in the memo, obtained by the Chicago Business Journal, that the bonus payouts are being replaced with a new program called "core4 Score Rewards," which Kirby said would include quarterly prizes like cash ranging from $2,000 to $40,000, luxury cars, vacation packages, and a grand of prize of $100,000 awarded to one eligible employee per quarter.

Kirby went on to say that each quarter that United reaches at least one of the performance goals outlined in the memo, there will be a drawing for the prizes listed in the memo.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of Christmas Vacation where Clark goes apeshit after his boss replaces his bonus check with a subscription to the Jelly Of The Month club. Only this is much worse. Can you imagine being the person who wins that $100,000 and everyone else hates you for it? Yeah I wouldn’t want to be that person either! But wait there’s more! Apparently they got enrolled in a “rewards program”.

United Airlines (UAL) on Monday said it was "pressing the pause button" on a lottery-like program that was set to replace its quarterly bonus program, a move that angered many employees.

"Our intention was to introduce a better, more exciting program, but we misjudged how these changes would be received by many of you," President Scott Kirby said in a message to employees.

"So, we are pressing the pause button on these changes to review your feedback and consider the right way to move ahead," the message continued. "We will be reaching out to work groups across the company, and the changes we make will better reflect your feedback."

The conflict began out in the open last week, after the Chicago Business Journal reported that United was eliminating the performance bonuses eligible employees had been receiving each quarter and replacing them with a program called core4 Score Rewards.

And that is your friendly, relatable corporate asshole! Yeah we make jokes about marketing all the time on this program but replacing bonuses with a reward program for free gift cards that nobody wants is a stunning level of evil. At least they’ve heard your complaints. In fact the idea was so unpopular that navel lint has a higher approval rating!

The system would have replaced quarterly, performance-based bonuses and rewards for perfect attendance with a lottery-based system, where eligible employees would be entered into a drawing for a variety of prizes if the company hit one of its performance goals during a calendar quarter. It was unpopular among employees, who thought it had the potential to divide them instead of encouraging them to work toward a common goal.

"This is insulting and a poor idea, to put it mildly," one United pilot reportedly wrote on an internal employee website reviewed by Inc.

United introduced the new system on Friday in an email from president Scott Kirby to company employees. On Monday, Kirby said the company is "pressing the pause button" on the new bonus system in response to employee "feedback and concerns" in a follow-up email to employees the company provided to Business Insider.

Yes it’s the gift that keeps on giving all year around! If there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that there’s no low corporations when it comes to how they treat their employees, and this could be one of the absolute lowest. But some good news though is at least they’re reconsidering the whole ordeal.

United Continental Holdings Inc. retreated from a plan to replace modest employee bonus payments with a chance for a lucky few to win luxury cars and six-figure cash prizes, following a backlash from the airline’s unions.

The company is “pressing the pause button” on any changes to the bonuses, President Scott Kirby said Monday in a message to employees, just three days after announcing the new approach. He pledged to solicit feedback from employee groups after staunch opposition to his plan to replace steady payouts with high-stakes drawings for prizes including $100,000 and Mercedes-Benz C-Class sedans.

“Our intention was to introduce a better, more exciting program, but we misjudged how these changes would be received by many of you,” Kirby wrote.

The dust-up over the bonus lottery showed that United is struggling to overcome a legacy of poor labor relations since its 2010 merger with Continental Airlines. Employees began expressing outrage on worker forums and complaining to union representatives shortly after the changes were announced March 2.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Unhappiest Place On Earth
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is: Top 10 Investigates.

Orange County, California is facing an unparalleled crisis not seen in its’ history before. You can see it when you get off Highway 55 or Highway 57 going toward Angels Stadium. Orange County is home to one of the world’s highest concentrations of homeless people. You might know these clusters as “tent cities”. While the mayor of Anaheim is figuring out what to do, we are going to take a look at one of the underlying root causes of the problem. The so-called “happiest place on earth”. Disneyland. Disneyland sees some 20 million+ visitors per year. But how happy are the people who are working for them?

Disneyland is famously promoted as the "happiest place on earth." But for many of the theme park's 30,000 employees, it isn't the happiest place to work. That's what we discovered after spending a year talking with Disneyland workers and conducting a survey of about 5,000 "cast members," as the company refers to its employees.

Since 2000, Disneyland's attendance (more than 27 million in 2016), daily ticket prices ($117 most days of the year for anyone over the age of 10) and revenues (more than $3 billion) have increased, but during that period, its employees' pay has dropped 15% in real dollars.

Our survey of food service workers, hair stylists, costumers, candy makers, security guards, custodians, hotel workers, retail workers, ticket takers, musicians, puppeteers, singers and dancers affiliated with 10 different unions revealed that 85% of Disneyland employees are paid less than $15 an hour. Even among full-time employees who have worked at Disneyland for more than 15 years, 54% are paid less than $15 an hour and 13% are paid less than $11 an hour.

Workers at the Anaheim resort are paid so little that more than 1 in 10 report being homeless at some point in the last two years, two-thirds say they don't have enough food to eat three meals a day and three-quarters say they can't afford basic expenses every month.

Yes, holy shit indeed. And how alarming is this news coming out of the so-called happiest place on earth? Well, it’s reaching new levels of insanity.

Only weeks after Walt Disney Co. reported better-than-expected profit, a survey at the company’s Anaheim theme parks found that 73 percent of employees questioned don’t earn enough to pay for such expenses as rent, food and gas.

The online survey, funded by labor groups pushing for higher wages for workers at Disneyland and California Adventure Park, also said that 11 percent of resort employees have been homeless or have not had a place of their own in the last two years.

“Disneyland employees report high instances of homelessness, food insecurity, ever-shifting work schedules, extra-long commutes, and low wages,” the study said.

Disney called the survey inaccurate, noting that it was only offered to union workers at the resort and claiming there were no controls preventing disgruntled employees from answering multiple times.

Of course Disney would call the survey “inaccurate”. It’s inaccurate. Or as our current president would call it simply “fake news”. After all, there’s precious corporate profits to be had! In fact Disney employees are paid so little that these are the kind of drastic measures they have to undertake.

“The Walt Disney Company promotes Disneyland Resort as the ‘happiest place on earth,’” the report asserts. “But for many of the approximately 30,000 people who work there, it is not the happiest place to work. Despite steep increases in the cost of housing and other necessities, Disneyland workers have suffered steady pay cuts and are struggling to make ends meet.”

Disney spokeswoman Suzi Brown declined to respond to the allegations of particular hardships detailed by the union members or to the report’s data on falling wages for both full-time and part-time employees.

She said, however, the average annual wage paid to full-time, hourly employees in 2017 was approximately $37,000. This includes union and non-union employees and the tips that some workers earn.

At the same time, she charged, “This inaccurate and unscientific survey was paid for by politically motivated labor unions and its results are deliberately distorted and do not reflect how the overwhelming majority of our 30,000 cast members feel about the company.

Yes, the CEOs get the trident, we get the fork. Makes a whole lot of sense. But in fact Disney employees are so worried about facing the growing threat of homelessness that these are the kinds of things that they must resort to.

Billie Taylor is in her fifth year working at Disneyland in California as a front-of-house employee at a restaurant called the Smokejumpers Grill. Warm and vivacious, she says she loves interacting with guests from around the world. “This is one of the best things that happened to me,” she said. “I was born to do this.”

She’s not as sunny when she talks about her life outside of work.

Earning $11.50 an hour, Taylor cannot afford anywhere to live in Orange County, where Disneyland is located, and is sleeping on friends’ couches. For a long time, Taylor thought she was the only person who struggled with homelessness and poverty on Disney wages, but a new study indicates otherwise.

Almost three-quarters of the 5,000 respondents to the survey, which was commissioned by 11 union organizations, said they do not earn enough money to cover basic expenses every month. And more than one in 10 reported having experienced homelessness in the past two years.

Yes, GTFO. GTFO indeed. This is absolute insanity. But we haven’t even got to the real shocker of this whole piece yet. Remember Trump’s plan to give out $1,000 bonuses to employees? Well this might shock you that they’re not paying. Well, we’re not shocked here anyway.

Unions representing about 35,000 Disney World workers say Disney is refusing to pay their members $1,000 tax cut bonuses.

Disney announced the $1,000 bonuses last month for 125,000 U.S. employees. The company said at that time that the bonuses would go to full and part-time employees, including those represented by unions “currently working under existing union contracts.”

But the union members at Disney World are in the midst of contract negotiations. They say rank-and-file workers in December voted 93% against Disney’s most recent offer of a 50-cent-an-hour raise over the next two years, coupled with a $200 signing bonus. Most unionized Disney World employees make less than $11 an hour, according to the union.

But that’s not the only thing hindering Disneyland employees. This might be one of the most egregious displays of corporate greed yet. But when you think of corporate greed, you think of extreme CEO salaries, and Disney’s boss might be one of the worst yet.

Robert Iger, the chief executive of Walt Disney Co., saw his total compensation decline 17% in the recently concluded fiscal year to $36.3 million, according to the company's latest proxy statement filed Friday to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The drop from last year's $43.9 million was due in part to a smaller cash bonus to Iger that Disney said was the result of an "absence of growth" in the fiscal year.

Yes, more money more money more money. But only a paltry $36 million might be too little for a CEO when you consider this. In fact the ceremony was so controversial that students at a nearby school decided to get the fuck out as fast as possible – and that is saying something!

School officials in a rural area in the Pocono Mountains, in northeastern Pennsylvania, reportedly told elementary school parents that their children will be relocated for the day Wednesday to accommodate a nearby church planning a special wedding-like ceremony involving AR-15 semiautomatic rifles - similar to the weapons used in a Florida high school massacre exactly two weeks earlier.

The Wallenpaupack Area School District sent a letter to parents whose children attend the Wallenpaupack South Elementary School informing them that students will spend the day on a different school campus, reported WFMZ-TV news, which serves eastern Pennsylvania. The move was a safety precaution, WFMZ reported, although the church has told attendees - who church officials say are coming from around the world for the service - not to load the weapons.

The World Peace and Unification Sanctuary, also known as the Sanctuary Church, is led by the son of the late Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-professed messiah from Korea who became a symbol of the 1970s cult wars by holding mass weddings for couples who often were strangers. Moon, who founded the Unification Church, became a player in a segment of the American conservative world through business interests including the Washington Times, and his son Hyung Jin Moon has woven gun rights into the religious community he leads in Pennsylvania, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups and calls Hyung Jin Moon an "anti-LGBT cult leader."

But then you have this – and this might be one of the scariest facts about income inequality that you would ever want to know.

If that plan goes through and the company reaches its other major goals, Chief Executive Robert Iger will see his pay quadruple to $162.5 million a year. That would make his annual compensation equal to the total pay of 9,284 Disneyland workers.

There you have it – the CEO of Disney could be making as much as 10,000 Disney workers. There’s one root cause of the pay gap. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! Time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

Now in a time of tragedy and national crisis, I ask you, my fair congregation, what can one do to turn to their loved ones for comfort? Some turn to thine food, others turn to their own vices, none of which the lord JAYSUS would approve of! But would one turn to thy vice for… something other than comfort? Thank you sir!

NEWFOUNDLAND, Pa. — Crown-wearing worshippers clutching AR-15 rifles drank holy wine and exchanged or renewed wedding vows in a commitment ceremony at a Pennsylvania church on Wednesday, prompting a nearby school to cancel classes.

With state police and a smattering of protesters standing watch outside the church, brides clad in white and grooms in dark suits brought dozens of unloaded AR-15s into World Peace and Unification Sanctuary for a religious event that doubled as an advertisement for the Second Amendment.

The church, which has a worldwide following, believes the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the book of Revelation, and encouraged couples to bring the weapons. An AR-15 was used in the Florida high school massacre on Feb. 14.

The Rev. Sean Moon, who leads the church, prayed for “a kingdom of peace police and peace militia where the citizens, through the right given to them by almighty God to keep and bear arms, will be able to protect one another and protect human flourishing.”

And I thought they were against marrying inanimate objects! But there is more method to the gun nutter’s madness. This ceremony was so scary that it was frightening nearby school children. You know – kind of like a moment in a comedy movie.

NEWFOUNDLAND, Pa. — An Eastern Pennsylvania school district says it’s canceling classes at an elementary school because a church down the street is hosting a ceremony featuring AR-15 rifles.

World Peace and Unification Sanctuary in Newfoundland, a suburb of Scranton, is encouraging couples to bring their AR-15 rifles to a “commitment ceremony” on Wednesday. The church believes the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the biblical book of Revelation.

The superintendent of the Wallenpaupack Area School District says “there is no direct threat.” But he wrote in a letter to parents that given concerns about parking, traffic and the “nature of the event,” students will be bused to schools about 15 miles away.

The church is a breakaway faction of the Unification Church, which has distanced itself from the event and says its ceremonies and theology do not involve weapons.

Yes – holy shit indeed good sir! For marrying inanimate objects is a SIN!!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins and it says so in the Good Book for I have read it cover to cover! Getting back to other religious wackiness, apparently those who support Trump “taketh thy Bible seriously”! Really?

Conservative radio host Dennis Prager told the National Religious Broadcasters Convention yesterday that President Trump has the support of “religious Jews” and “orthodox” Christians because those people “take the Bible seriously” and know that the important question to ask about a politician is not whether he is a “good” person but whether he is “good for America.”

Prager, who during the 2016 campaign compared the choice of Trump over Hillary Clinton to choosing to ally with Stalin rather than Hitler, told the audience about a recent column in which he had written that criticisms from evangelicals about evangelical support for Trump “are not biblical, moral or wise.”

“There is a reason that most religious Jews, that is, Orthodox Jews, and most orthodox–small-o–Christians support the president,” Prager told the convention. “It is not because they are fans of his tweets or his past behavior or the sexual conduct that he is charged with. It is because they take the Bible seriously. That’s the irony. The more religious the Christian, the more wisdom he gets and the more orthodox the Jew, the more wisdom he gets from the Bible.”

Prager told the story of how God raised up King David, who “makes Donald Trump look like Mother Teresa.”

No you don’t. I know this, Brother Denis, because LYING IS A SIN!!!! AND ONE OF THE MOST EGREGIOUS OF SINS!!! And only your repentance can be saved by the LAWRD and reading the Good Book, it even says so. Unlike many of you hypocrites, I can name the passage where it even says so that lying is a sin, and I suggest you read it too! But woe beith the most persecuted of Christians for they believe some crazy shit!

Mike Cernovich, a self-described “New Right” pundit who gained notoriety for peddling a variety of conspiracy theories such as “Pizzagate,” warned Christians that the effort by social media websites to crack down on conspiracy theories and extremist rhetoric was not actually aimed at people like himself, but rather at people who declare their Christian faith.

In a live stream video aired this afternoon, Cernovich brought up reports that Facebook had threatened to suspend a Christian satire site after fact-checking nonprofit Snopes flagged its article claiming that CNN purchased an industrial washing machine to “spin” the news. Facebook apologized for the error, but Cernovich used the event to tell listeners that social media companies want to “destroy” Christian ways of life.

“Don’t defend me. I don’t need you to defend me. Here’s what I need you to say: ‘Facebook and Snopes, they hate Christians. If you let them get rid of Cernovich, we are next.’ And that’s the truth. It’s proven now,” Cernovich said. “So rather than let people drag you into the weeds about Cernovich and this and that, just say, ‘They are only going after Cernovich because the real target is Christians like us.’”

Yes, I can’t believe someone could be that stupid! Oh wait, yes I can. These are the same people who gave us Pizzagate and Seth Rich – both inherent LIES!!!! And we all know what the Good Book sayeth about lying! But apparently those who opposeth Trump will not see the light of Heaven, and we all know that is a flat out lie!!

Paul McGuire and Troy Anderson, authors of the book, “Trumpocalypse: The End-Times President, a Battle Against the Globalist Elite, and the Countdown to Armageddon,” appeared on the podcast hosted by radical right-wing commentator and crackpot conspiracy theorist Sheila Zilinsky yesterday, where McGuire warned that Christians who don’t support President Trump will not get into heaven due to their cowardice.

“We strongly believe that God has a plan for America in the Last Days,” McGuire said. “We believe that Trump won miraculously. He took on the invisible government that controls America and they didn’t expect it and he won. And ever since he won, and even before he won, he has been attacked 24/7 like no other president in American history, basically he has been attacked like no other world leader in human history.”

McGuire said that it is “obvious to people that are in the highest levels of witchcraft or Luciferianism and the deep state [and] it’s obvious to the occult globalist elite” that Trump represents a dire “threat to their plan for a global government and a global economy and a new world order,” which is why “all hell is targeted against him.”

“I’m kind of perplexed how Christians can’t get it,” he added. “If everyone who, in many cases, openly hate the Gospel, openly hate Christ, if they’re all in alliance to tear down a man … [who is] a spiritual threat to the Kingdom of Darkness, what’s the problem with God’s people in not recognizing that God is using Donald Trump?”

If your GAWD is using Trump now to do “his work”, I would certainly hate to see what the devil’s work would look like! Thank you! That is it for this week, I hope this sermon has been enlightening for you, this has been:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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So this has been a rough week for the GOP. The NRA had its’ worst week ever. Trump had his worst week ever. And now Alex Jones might be having his worst week ever. Alex and his cronies Cernovich and Posobiec might be getting nuttier and nuttier. Of course they project their nuttiness on us because that’s what good conspiracy theorists do! So Alex made some insane claims that Infowars has caught “over 30 pedophiles”. Here we go again with their pedophilia obsession!

In a desperate fundraising pitch, Infowars host Alex Jones claimed that the forces behind YouTube’s recent efforts to remove conspiracy theories and extremist content from its website had targeted Infowars because Jones had taken down “over 30” pedophiles.

Today, the Infowars staff launched a 34-hour special edition fundraising broadcast in reaction to the fact that their daily broadcast is one community guideline strike away from being banned from YouTube. Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi, who has spent the last couple of months of his life trying to decode cryptic messages he believes a Trump administration official is posting to an 8Chan forum board and accusing people of being pedophiles, just had his account terminated this afternoon.

Jones said that he has never borrowed money to spend on Infowars, but that today he would “call some of the folks that have offered a lot of money” and tell them that “this is about all of us” and that he needed “a lot of money.”

He said he would tell those donors, “I need you to understand. Unless you want to evacuate the U.S., I need everything you can give us. You can come and see what we’re doing with the money. I want to get aggressive.”

Quick! To the pedo mobile!

I can’t make that joke enough! Because it’s really getting harder and harder to take these clowns seriously with their pedophilia obsession. As I’ve said it’s like playing a really fucked up game of Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon. Except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a satanic pedophile. So Alex now is taking things grassroots! Because if there’s one thing the “globalist elite” are afraid of, it’s a little grassroots action!

Alex Jones, the lead host of the conspiracy theory outlet Infowars, announced Friday that he had tapped self-declared “New Right” leader Mike Cernovich to organize a grassroots protest against Google and other social media companies at this year’s South by Southwest conference in Jones’ home city of Austin.

Infowars and Google have continued to publicly duel over YouTube’s community guidelines and what right-wing media personalities claim is inconsistent enforcement of those guidelines by site moderators. Jones spent nearly all of last week criticizing YouTube for placing community guideline strikes on his videos accusing the Parkland high school shooting survivors calling for tougher gun laws of being “crisis actors,” which placed his channel one strike away from a permanent suspension. Jones argued that Infowars should get to keep its access to the millions of viewers it has gathered on YouTube. At one point while defending his account, Jones made the bizarre claim that he has successfully taken out “over 30” pedophiles.


This time around, Jones and Cernovich say they’re keeping plans for a protest against Google at South by Southwest under wraps. Jones said Cernovich “wants to coordinate this behind the scenes so that they don’t know when we’re coming, when you’re coming.”

“Watch this channel when the South by Southwest is going on for what we are going to do. It’s going to be legal and lawful, but they are so scared of us physically showing up because they only want cyber control,” Jones said. “They’re totally afraid of grassroots.”

Damn straight! And this isn’t the nuttiest thing that the Infowars cabal has done this week. So Alex Jones is desperate and he’s hanging onto that desperation especially after the advertisers decided to jump ship.

A new group of companies suspended some of their YouTube advertising after finding out that ads were appearing over conspiracy theory videos peddled by radio show host Alex Jones on various InfoWars-related YouTube channels. According to a CNN report, companies including Nike, Expedia, Paramount Network, Wix, ClassPass, the Mormon Church, and the NRA have suspended ads on InfoWars channels after being made aware by CNN that their ads were running over conspiracy theory videos. Many of the companies involved claim that they had no idea their ads were running over InfoWars content, and many say they used YouTube's advertiser tools in the hope of keeping their ads off such content.

YouTube launched its relatively new advertiser tools nearly a year ago after the first big ad-pocalypse took the online video website by storm. In a situation much like this, companies began pulling advertisements from YouTube after finding out they were appearing over extremist videos. YouTube's tools are designed to give advertisers more control over the types of content over which they want their ads to run, filtering out potentially inappropriate content and content that doesn't align with a company's values.

CNN's report claims that Nike and other companies opted in to a "sensitive subject exclusion" filter, which presumably disallows ads over content that falls into these categories: "Tragedy and Conflict;" "Sensitive Social Issues;" "Sexually Suggestive Content;" "Sensational & Shocking;" and "Profanity & Rough Language."

Yeah probably. So Infowars is on thin ice and it might fall through if Alex, Mike, and Jack, AKA the Douchebag Pep Boys, cause one more slip up. And given their craziness, they just might! Even the people who Alex has fired are starting to fight back! We all know Alex is a dick, but I didn’t imagine this!

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has discriminated against his staff, laughed along with racist and anti-Semitic slurs against former employees and even groped one female worker, bombshell documents allege.

The controversial Infowars owner joked with staff who called Rob Jacobson 'The Jewish Individual', 'The Resident Jew' and shouted 'Yacobson' across the office, it's claimed.

Jones allegedly continually bullied, ridiculed and humiliated Jacobson - who worked for Jones' company Infowars for 13 years - before firing him last May.

Jacobson is in the process of suing Jones for discrimination, harassment and unfair dismissal and his lawyers have submitted a complaint to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

A second former employee has claimed she suffered 'harassment and discrimination' at the hands of Jones and other senior managers at Infowars based on her race.

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[font size="8"]Ben Carson
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So just as we are about to get into our Stupidest State contest, a little reminder that one of the conferences in the NFFSA is the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference – and there is some extreme government misspending and most of it is coming from the Trump administration. I mean what happens when you need some furniture and you need to go shopping at Government Ikea?

Let's say you're a Trump administration official with old dining room furniture in your Washington, D.C. executive suite. What do you do?

In the case of Ben Carson, the presidential cabinet secretary who heads the Department of Housing and Urban Development, his staff declared the circa 1967 dining set was beyond repair and spent $31,561 on a custom hardwood table, chairs, and a hutch to replace it.

A federal law limits spending for redecorating or refurbishing to $5,000 unless Congress approves more. However, whistleblower complaints filed by Helen Foster, a high-ranking HUD civil servant, allege that a top official repeatedly told Foster to "find money," for the purchase.”

Foster's complaints charge that Carson's wife, Candy, wanted to help redecorate the office suite. Foster was demoted in reprisal after she raised questions about the work and other HUD spending, the complaints allege.

Dude, he could seriously purchase that same set of furniture from Ikea for $500. Of course shopping at Ikea you’ll most likely wind up fighting with the person you came with, eat Swedish meatballs, and then leave in a much angrier mood than when you came in. I just wanted an upright trophy cabinet!!! Why do you have to go there!!! But really? Furniture prices is what we’re dealing with here?

Washington (CNN)Senior White House aides are furious about a series of negative stories about frivolous spending at the Department of Housing and Urban Development and have taken a more hands-on role in trying to stem the tide of negative news, sources with knowledge of the situation tell CNN.

The decision to assert more control comes a day after reports that the former chief administrative officer at HUD filed a complaint saying she demoted after refusing to spend more than was legally allowed to redecorate Secretary Ben Carson's new office.
The former staffer, Helen Foster, said she was told to "find money" beyond the legal $5,000 limit for redecorating. In one instance, she says a supervisor said that "$5,000 will not even buy a decent chair."

HUD also spent $31,000 last year to replace a dining room set in Carson's office, according to federal records and a whistleblower. A department official said that the dining set in the secretary's dining room at HUD headquarters was replaced because it was in a state of disrepair.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Well it could be worse – we could have an inexperienced dolt as the head of a government agency he is grossly unqualified for!

WASHINGTON — Before Ben Carson accepted President Trump’s offer to become secretary of housing and urban development, a friend implored him to turn down the job to preserve the reputation he had earned as a brilliant neurosurgeon and lost, in part, as a politician.

The confidant, Logan Delany Jr., who was the treasurer of Mr. Carson’s 2016 presidential campaign, described HUD as a “swamp” of “corruption.” He predicted in an email that Mr. Carson’s “lack of a background in housing” would make him prey to the department’s career staff and political appointees, as well as predatory lobbyists.

To drive home the point, Mr. Delany appended a link to an obituary of Samuel R. Pierce Jr., the Reagan-era HUD secretary whose reputation as a trailblazing black corporate lawyer was tarnished by accusations that he steered contracts to Republican cronies.

Mr. Delany’s most dire prediction has not materialized. But many of the other problems outlined in the memo have come to pass during Mr. Carson’s first year running a sprawling $47 billion-a-year community development bureaucracy that provides rental subsidies for about five million families and oversees people living in 1.2 million units of public housing. And Mr. Carson’s own lapses in judgment — combined with the questionable behavior of his family and his reluctance to aggressively engage Mr. Trump — have left him at the margins of the cabinet.

Uh……….. governmenting is hard people!!! At least that’s the take away we’re getting from the Trump administration! I mean they can’t even go to Ikea and buy a chair for $200? Don’t get me started there, I know!!!! Argh, fuck Ikea!!!! Why must you drag me into fights with my lady??? But in case you’re wondering the kind of swag $31,000 can buy, check this shit out!

Pictures of the insanely expensive, mahogany furniture that has Department of Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson in hot water have emerged online, as CNN gave taxpayers the chance to see how well their $31,000 furnishes an office.

The custom table and pedestals racked up $4,000, the sideboard cost $13,579, the breakfront was priced at roughly $7,000, and the 10 chairs put an over $10,000 dent in the department’s wallet. All of the furniture, which can be seen below, was purchased for use in Carson’s office space and will arrive in May 2018:

When speaking to CNN, Evelyn Sebree — the owner of HUD’s Maryland furniture store of choice, Sebree and Associates — described the buyers by saying they wanted a “really large table.”

“They said they were looking for dining furniture for the secretary’s office because a new secretary was coming in and the current furniture was old and it was raggedy,” said Sebree — who continued by denying any personal connection to Carson. “I have never met them. Never ever ever.”


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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s time for:


And man I need a drink this week – there’s been lots and lots of insanity. So tell me bartender, what’s a drink that goes well with a women-oriented booze marketing campaign? Jane Walker? Sure, I’ll try some, and give me one of those giant ice cubes in the center. Hmm… that’s good shit. So Johnny Walker is trying some new tactics and going after a new demographic.

Johnnie Walker Black Label just got a little bit more feminine.

The whisky maker is putting a woman in its logo for the first time ever — a new Jane Walker edition that will be on sale for a limited time. The image of a top-hatted and tuxedo man is transformed into a shapely, long-haired woman in the same dashing outfit.

The special-edition whisky will be sold starting in March to coincide with Women's History Month and International Women's Day celebrations, according to the company. The suggested retail price is $34 for a 750-milliliter bottle.

The temporary change to the "striding man" logo is an attempt to market the drink to women.

Well, I will have to admit that Jane Walker is pretty hot! But there’s other great news in the world of alcohol, especially if you live in Indiana! You will be able to drink booze for the first time on Sunday – as it was originally intended!

John Trelo remembers how big a drag buying booze in Indiana was on a Sunday before he moved to Florida 30 years ago.

It was the same deal each time: You'd have to get up and be out the door well before noon to make the haul down Ridge Road just over the border to Santori's in Lansing, Ill. There, three or four cashiers would be ready to take the money of resigned Indiana people who just wanted a beer with their potato chips during the game.

Sunday at noon, that dark era ended for Hoosiers. After decades of back-and-forth among legislators and lobbyists, Senate Bill 1 and House Bill 1051 repealed on Wednesday the state's Prohibition-era ban on Sunday alcohol sales — save for cold beer — at liquor, grocery, drug and convenience stores.

Many liquor stores threw open their doors to customers for the first time since the 1920s, and customers like Trelo, in town to visit his parents in Highland, rejoiced. He carried his six-pack of Estrela Jalisco beer to the counter of Premier Liqours II in Highland with a sense of bemusement.

"Thirty years ago, it was the same," Trelo, of Ft. Lauderdale, said. "Sunday sales) are good for the state. It'll keep the money here."

Amen to that sir! Have a beer on a Sunday now just like the good lord intended. I mean how else are you supposed to enjoy Colts games? Hey o! And come on, what isn’t a good time for a drink? We do encourage that sort of thing here! And sir, do you think you could invest in our show?

Good week? Have a drink. Bad week? Have a drink.

That’s a rough summation of the thinking of Dan Ahrens, manager of AdvisorShares’ Vice ETF (ACT), which launched in December and focuses on alcohol, tobacco and cannabis-related companies.

“People are going to drink no matter what’s going on in the economy,” Ahrens said in a recent interview with Barron’s Next, and “no matter what’s going on in the market.”

The fund holds a range of alcohol stocks, including Constellation Brands (STZ), its second-biggest holding at about 6.1% as of Feb. 23, and Barron’s Next 50 stock Boston Beer (SAM), which made up roughly 4.4%. (More on the latter company below.)

• Right now, he believes the best opportunities are in smaller companies such as MGP Ingredients (MGPI), a distiller whose products are branded by other companies and that recently made up 5.5% of the fund’s holdings, and Craft Brew Alliance (BREW), a beer and cider company that was at 2.8%.

Yes, doing a lot of that definitely helps this guy! Now changing subjects again… man I’m getting drunk up in this piece! Whew! But there is some good news – tequila has some health benefits. So go ahead, have a shot of your favorite! Going back to Johnny Walker for a minute, I would prefer some from Jose Cuervo’s aunt Rosa Cuervo!

Tequila has received a bad reputation as a liquid hangover because regulations allow liquors made with only 51 percent agave to be called tequila.

Let’s first address the obvious: Tequila is not a “health” food. Drinking a frozen margarita is far from the nutritional equivalent of a banana-turmeric chai smoothie, but in relation to other liquors, tequila has some unique, beneficial attributes. To capture these benefits, only purchase tequila that is made from 100 percent agave. Under Mexican law, tequila may only be made from the blue Weber agave plant from the Tequila region of Jalisco. In the U.S., however, tequila has received a bad reputation as a liquid hangover because regulations allow liquors made with only 51 percent agave to be called tequila.

It’s a Low-Calorie Alcohol

Though the liquid calories in many types of liquor are detrimental to weight-loss diets, tequila is different. Tequila is made up of agavins, a certain type of indigestible sugars that move through the body unused. The more complex molecular structure of agavins prevents them from spiking blood sugar. These molecules have also been found to simulate metabolism and to help burn fat.

Click here to see how tequila can help you lose weight.

It's a Probiotic

Put down that bottle of kombucha and break out the shot glasses. The agave that tequila is derived from contains fructans, a short-chain polymer that supplies probiotics — beneficial bacteria found in the intestines. Thus, drinking a small amount of tequila may benefit digestive health, but be careful not to overdo it; too much tequila has the opposite effect on the body.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen it’s time to commence the 2nd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! And we have a lot of newcomers and old favorites this time around. And we’re going to change up the format a bit to please our overlords in the National For Fuck’s Sake Association. As you all know the winner will get the coveted DeLay trophy – named after former Texas coach Tom DeLay who took the team to an unprecedented 6 titles during the George Bush years:

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor and privilege to be the host of this year’s Stupidest State tournament! Let the games commence! All four conferences are here and ready to tangle. We have all four corners of conservatism represented – god, guns, greed, and overall batshit insanity! So this time around we’re going to do things a bit differently. Since our season ends on May 23rd, we need to speed things up a bit from last time. The league, as usual is split into two factions – the Layover League and the Flyover League. And each league will crown its’ champion before they face off in the final round. The rules before state that each conference will get four teams, which will be ranked #1 - #4. And just like how March Madness kicks off every year with a “Selection Sunday”, this year we shall kick things off with the same! The tournament will start on Wednesday, March 21st – which is around the same time March Madness starts. The rules this time around – the first round will feature two matches, while the second round will consist of one match each. Both rounds of the Final Four will take place in the same week, and then the championship. Since we do encourage gambling here, we will be providing you with betting odds this time around! And here we go!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]

Since 1890, the Batshit Conference is the largest conference in the NFFSA and it consists of 16 teams producing the finest guano that the country has to offer. They are the craziest of the crazy. The cream of the crop. The states that elect the worst politicians imaginable, who cook up the craziest laws known to man. The Batshit Conference caters to excellence in crazy lawmaking, and residents as equally crazy as the people who they elect. Places ruled by rural communities where there’s nothing to do but hardcore drugs, and with hardcore drugs comes hardcore craziness!

1. Iowa – the state that defined “Flyover country”. Iowa just barely missed the tournament last year due to some injuries. But this year they recruited lots of hot young talent and they are poised to go very far. Some say they could win the whole thing. Their policies have been called some of the country’s worst. The elected an actual racist and America’s worst Congressman – Steve King. They are also the home of Charles Grassley. They continually favor big business over the worker. They continue to fight for big farms over the smaller ones. They continually suppress education. Will they win? We shall see!
Smoking Gun: Iowa has Steve King and Charles Grassley. and a state rep who wanted to dismantle colleges for being too liberal.
Betting Prediction: Iowa didn’t win that number one seed for nothing – they had the best record in the whole league during the regular season - they will be shocking and surprising you with how good their team is! 2:1.

2. Kentucky – The Bluegrass State is one of the hottest teams in the league. The state that was the first that voted for @realDonladTrump, also gave us Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Matt Bevin, and NFFSA Rookie Of The Year Kim Davis has shown absolutely no signs of slowing down when it comes to flinging some fresh batshit. They got a massive upgrade this year and they take the number 2 seed in the Batshit Conference. When you combine out of control college freshmen, some of the most insane politicians, and hardcore religious insanity, you get one of the best programs in the Batshit tournament, and they had the second best record during the regular season.
Smoking Gun: Kim Davis is about to lose her job to a guy she once denied a marriage license to.
Betting Prediction: Kentucky can go head to head against any team they face, and they were ridiculously strong last year. They handily beat Pennsylvania for a seat in the tournament. They are looking to go far. 5:1.

3. Virginia – Another newcomer to the tournament. The Commonwealth State - adjacent to our nation’s capital has been a hot bed of white supremacy, redneck policies, and gun nut culture – creating a toxic mix that is sure to please longtime fans and newcomers to the Batshit Conference. Another first timer who if they can keep healthy, will promise to go very far in this tournament.
Smoking Gun: Racists and white supremacists united in last year's ugly Charlottesville debacle, and they're already planning another one!
Betting Prediction: They have the drive and ambition to go very far but injuries plagued them during the regular season. 20:1.

4. Texas – Last year’s champion promises to repeat this year. They are tanned, rested, ready, and looking to do some damage as they climb their way to the top while producing some fresh guano not seen since the early days of the tournament. While a shell of their former selves as they produced that string of greatness during the Bush years, Texas squeezed out a win last year and they’re looking to repeat. Their coach has stated that they will be healthy, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing.
Smoking Gun: Lt. Governor Dan Patrick has been called one of the craziest politicians in America - and not just by us!
Betting Prediction: Texas isn’t the odds on favorite it was last year. If they do win the conference and advance to the Final Four, it’s going to be a very long uphill battle for them. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]

Excessive greed here is the name of the game in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. This is the second largest conference in the NFFSA consisting of 13 states. While the rule of the game here is “never underestimate the other guy’s greed”, these guys are doing just that! Six houses? Why not? The other guy has 8! 40 cars? The other guy has 50! You have a 500 foot yacht? The other guy has a 600 foot yacht! You got Aerosmith to play a private concert for your wife's birthday party? They got Kanye West to play theirs! You have a Rembrandt? The other guy has a Picasso! And you never mix the two, that’s just bad feng shui. Since 1952, nearly all of the teams here are sponsored by Koch Industries. And coincidentally nearly all of them subscribe to Fox Business Channel where they always take the CEO’s side. While you’re watching your bank account grow by peanuts, these guys have taken the whole damn peanut farm! They’re Scrooge McDuck, Ritchie Rich, Carter Pewterschmitt, and Mr. Burns rolled into one.

1. Kansas – The reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference is the home to one of the country’s worst governors – Sam Brownback. It’s also home to some of the country’s worst education policies and the home of the Westboro Baptist Church. It’s also a Flyover League favorite. They’re the home of Koch Industries and the Heritage Foundation – who some might be calling “economic terrorists”. Who needs Al Qaeda when these guys can do more damage?
Smoking Gun: The Heritage Foundation has their own lobby that talks directly to Trump from within the White House.
Betting prediction: Kansas looks poised to repeat as conference champions, but it could actually be a toss up this year since the competition in this league is one of the most competitive. 10:1.

2. West Virginia – Coal mining country is always a hotbed for conservative insanity. Especially in an era where anti-environment coal industry CEOs are touting “clean coal” as if it’s a thing that it exists. It doesn’t. As this has been evidenced by the batshit crazy CEOs who run America’s coal mining operations and their never ending love for anti-worker conservative policies. And this is the first time they have appeared in this tournament – they recruited a lot of hot young talent, and they promise that they will go all the way!
Smoking Gun: Massey Energy CEO Bob Massey attempted to sue John Oliver for defamation and lost! Can't wait to hear Oliver's rebuttal!
Betting Prediction: Strong favorite to finish far, could be a huge upset if they knock off a favorite to win the first round. 5:1.

3. Wisconsin – Wisconsin is getting a huge upgrade this year. Yes, the home of Miller Brewing, the Milwaukee Brewers, the Green Bay Packers, and governor Scott Walker - the state that gave us House Speaker and Bro Magazine’s Bro Of The Year Paul Ryan is poised to have nearly all of its’ seats up for grabs in this year’s tournament which means that it literally could be anyone’s game and we will see the greed and big money fly during this election year of ours. They can go very far in this tournament.
Smoking Gun: Wisconsin is so hurting to rebuild their economy that they're courting Foxconn to build a factory there, and we all know how Foxconn is a snake oil salesman.
Betting Prediction: Wisconsin bowed out in the first round last year and that made them angry to the point where they completely overhauled their team. 2:1.

4. Nevada – Nevada just barely missed the tournament due to injuries last year but this year they are coming back strong. And come on, how can you have a discussion on greed without having a discussion on gambling? Because the two often go hand in hand. And our president is also associated with the gambling industry. Can the gaming industry go far in this tournament? Only time will tell. The odds have them pegged as the biggest underdogs in this tournament, and we all love a good underdog story!
Smoking Gun: Casino owner Steve Wynn, who wants to be Donald Trump's BFF, got busted for a sexual harassment and employee abuse scandal bigger than Harvey Weinstein's.
Betting Prediction: This is a strong conference, and the gambling industry is about as corrupt as you can expect, and they spent like ballers during the off season last year. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]

What do you get when you mix toxic religious values with anti-progressive family legislation? You get the Family Values Conference! The Family Values Conference is the smallest conference in the league consisting of 9 (NEIN!!) teams, but they have the richest history. Family values hypocrisy is something that’s as old as the United States itself. While you’re on your 5th divorce and wondering which of your ex wives gets your alimony check this week, that poor gay or lesbian couple who lives next door is only wondering what life would be like when they get married, while transgendered people are denied bathroom privileges. Meanwhile corrupt pastors get away with the kinkiest sex imaginable and soliciting prostitutes.The Family Values Conference: Priding themselves on religious hypocrisy since 1789!

1. Indiana – This is Indiana’s first return to the tournament in many years. Last time they got trounced by Alabama who went on to win their first title. And Indiana is back and they’re looking for revenge. The Hoosier State is responsible for one of the single dumbest controversies in the country – gay wedding cakes, and with that controversy reaching SCOTUS, expect the insanity to fly like a triple double!
Smoking Gun: Mike Pence is from Indiana. 'Nuff said.
Betting Prediction: Indiana is a hot young team and they’ve recruited a lot of young talent, and they have a very talented staff. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

2. Alabama – Last year’s conference champion and the reigning king of the Family Values Conference suffered a bit of a setback and almost didn’t make the tournament this year but they are rested and they are ready. Of course we saw a lot of Alabama last year with the insanity surrounding Roy Moore’s campaign which saw him defeated by Doug Jones. But they also have another evil that they refuse to let go of – gay conversion therapy!
Smoking Gun: Trump called the guy who convicted KKK members "soft on crime". Just to you know, stroke the racists.
Betting prediction: Last year’s insane campaign of Roy Moore left them exhausted and they just barely made the tournament. If they do get out of the first round it will be interesting to watch. 20:1.

3. Utah – The Mormons are making their first ever appearance in our Stupidest State tournament, and they have the guts to go very far. It’s one of the hardest states to get liquor in but is the home of some of the best skiing in the country. Of course it’s outer beauty hides its’ inner ugly – the Mormon church is the dominant religion in the state and has produced some of the country’s most insane family values laws.
Smoking Gun: The Mormon Church says that it's taken "baby steps" to tread the waters toward gender equality.
Betting Prediction: Utah’s first time in the tournament means that they will be fighting for supremacy in this division but if they can make it they will be Final Four contenders! 10:1.

4. Missouri - Another conference change, Missouri used to be the home of the gun nuts with the Furgeson police shooting and the riots that have taken place there. But there's an even darker, seedier underbelly to the Show Me State - they are one of the worst "family values" states in the entire country! Missouri beat Ohio in a one game playoff and just barely made the tournament, but they are looking to do some damage!
Smoking Gun: Missouri's controversial child bride laws have made the state the go-to destination for under 15 weddings!
Betting Prediction: Missouri is a wild card in this horse race but since the conference change, they are looking to do some serious damage here. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]

Shoot first and ask questions later. That’s the name of the game in this conference. It’s also the most effective means of communication in these states.It’s the conference where you too can take your AK-47 out on a dinner date to Chipotle, and nobody will seem to care. In fact they too might have their own AK. It’s the conference where the only thing that matters is your precious firearm. Hardcore racism and extreme gun nuttery usually go hand in hand in this conference. We’re not saying all gun nuts are hardcore racists, but all hardcore racists are gun nuts. It’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. And you can ask your fellow gun lovers “Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?”. And getting shot means it’s usually God’s will.

1. Florida – Florida earns the number 1 seed in this conference. You might be asking “wait – wasn’t Florida a member of the Batshit Conference?”. Well I answer you – yes – but Florida was tired of losing and it has some of this country’s worst gun laws. It was also home to the Parkland School Shooting, and a legislature that almost literally threw these kids under the bus. They have the potential to make the final four this year.
Smoking Gun: After the Parkland shooting, the Florida House GOP voted to declare porn a health hazard, but did not even consider a ban on assault rifles.
Betting Prediction: After Florida Man’s humiliating stunt cost them the tournament last year, they’re angry and looking for redemption. But a repeat of last year wouldn’t be out of the question. 10:1.

2. Louisiana – The Bayou State is one of the worst states to live in if you don’t want to be associated with gun nuts. It’s the home of New Orleans, and if the creepy mascots of their NBA team the New Orleans Pelicans are any indication of what kind of people they elect, keep in mind that this is the state that gave us Bobby Jindal. They have the wit and gun nut insanity to outlast the tournament.
Smoking Gun: Louisiana has the highest concentration of school related threats in the country - so they have a lot of smoking guns!
Betting Prediction: Another tournament first timer, Loosiana has recruited a lot of hot young talent and their gun laws are often referred to as the country’s worst. Expect them to go far. 5:1

3. Montana – Last year’s #1 seat and Flyover League champion Montana is poised to make a huge splash in this year’s tournament. They went from underdogs to juggernauts in the league with a toxic mix of wannabe cowboys, white supremacist militia hate groups, and doomsday preppers. As we learned last year – Montana has the nation’s highest concentration of racist hate groups (after all, they are the home of Richard Spencer) as well as the highest concentration of gun manufacturers. And yes, Frank Zappa might be moving to Montana to start a dental floss farm, but if you live in fear of getting shot, this state might not be the state for you.
Smoking Gun: Montana's *SOLE* representative is journalist body slamming tough guy wannabe douchebag Greg Gianforte, if that's any indication of how violent they are.
Betting Prediction: Montana’s strong finish as league champions last year left them exhausted, but they could see a return to the top if healthy enough. 5:1.

4. Arizona – Last year’s conference champion got an extra upgrade when they kicked Sheriff Joe to the curb. But now he’s back and running for Senate! Yes, these guys never seem to go away but with the news of one of the worst sheriffs in the country and a guy who will look the other way if you take your AK on a dinner date is running for senate! Expect that the batshit and the bullets will fly as they work their way up to a comeback as conference champions!
Smoking Gun: Arizona has the highest concentration of freeway shootings in the country, and the guy who sold the Vegas shooter ammo bought his weapons in Arizona.
Betting Prediction: Arizona lost in a shoot out to Montana last year, but they went back to the drawing board and got a lot of hot young talent. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

[font size="6"]The Bracket [/font]

Here’s the bracket:

And here’s the schedule.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For the first round of the tournament – it’s a battle for the batshit as #1 Iowa takes on #2 Kentucky, while in the Flyover League, it’s a duel to the death as #3 Montana takes on #4 Arizona in a rematch of last year’s conference championship.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Weird Al Yankovic[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, the world’s greatest song parodist and satirist has graced us with his presence! His latest album is called “Mandatory Fun”. You can see him this summer everywhere on the “Ridiculously Self Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour”. Playing his song called “First World Problems”, give it up for Weird Al Yankovic!

We are off next week, we’ll be back on Wednesday, March 21st with a brand new edition and the tip off of Stupidest State 2018!

See you in two weeks!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
Special Thanks To: Flappers Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Stupidest State Tournament Selection Sunday Hosting: Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, CA
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Weird Al Appears Courtesy Of: Island Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

A Complete Timeline Of Martin Shkreli's Feud With The Wu Tang Clan

A Brooklyn federal judge ordered pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli on Monday (Mar. 5) to give up $7.36 million worth of assets after getting convicted of securities fraud. The sentence comes just a few months after his arrest.

The “Pharma-bro” became famous—or infamous for that matter—when his firm Turing Pharmaceuticals of New York skyrocketed the price of AIDs-fighting Daraprim from $13.50 per pill to $750.

Potentially the most devastating of these assets Shkreli will forfeit is the sole copy of Wu Tang Clan’s Once Upon a Time in Shaolin album he bought for $2 million in 2015. After the purchase, he became hated among Wu Tang fans, teasing the release of the album. Plenty of drama occurred from the purchase to the forfeiture, and reading about it would take ages. Billboard has you covered. Here’s a timeline of Shkreli’s ownership of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.


November 2016 – Shkreli promises to release the album if Donald Trump becomes President

The day after Trump was elected, the executive released a series of videos, featuring him with parts of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin playing in the background. According to Pitchfork, Shkreli decided to negotiate with Wu Tang Clan on releasing the rest of the album, since he didn’t expect the Republican candidate to actually win.


September 1, 2017 – The pharmaceutical wanted to sell the album

After taunting fans for nearly two years with teases and snippets of the unreleased record, Shkreli listed the project on eBay. In the description for the listing, he mentions Wu Tang member Ghostface Killah, who was seen on TMZ calling Shkreli a “s—thead” for raising the price of Daraprim. "I decided to purchase this album as a gift to the Wu-Tang Clan for their tremendous musical output. Instead I received scorn from at least one of their (least-intelligent) members, and the world at large failed to see my purpose of putting a serious value behind music,” he wrote. He also noted that half the proceeds would go to medical research.


September 15, 2017 – Wu Tang Clan associates reveal Once Upon a Time in Shaolin might not be an actual Clan album

Business publication Bloomberg spoke to several of the group’s affiliates, particularly Killa Sin. According to Sin, the record was originally meant for Moroccan producer Cilvaringz. “The way he presented it was it was going to be basically his album, and he wanted me to do some work for him.” Member U-God’s manager Domingo Neris agreed, saying, “It’s not an authorized Wu-Tang Clan album.


March 5, 2018 – It’s official, Shkreli must forfeit the record

The order by U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto comes just four days before the pharmaceutical will receive his sentence. In a letter he wrote to the judge, Shkreli showed a different, softer side of himself after having an attitude during the trial. “I was wrong. I was a fool. I should have known better.”

What a douche. Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with!

Disneyland's CEO Makes As Much As His Entire Park's Combined Payroll

Disneyland is famously promoted as the "happiest place on earth." But for many of the theme park's 30,000 employees, it isn't the happiest place to work. That's what we discovered after spending a year talking with Disneyland workers and conducting a survey of about 5,000 "cast members," as the company refers to its employees.

Since 2000, Disneyland's attendance (more than 27 million in 2016), daily ticket prices ($117 most days of the year for anyone over the age of 10) and revenues (more than $3 billion) have increased, but during that period, its employees' pay has dropped 15% in real dollars.

Our survey of food service workers, hair stylists, costumers, candy makers, security guards, custodians, hotel workers, retail workers, ticket takers, musicians, puppeteers, singers and dancers affiliated with 10 different unions revealed that 85% of Disneyland employees are paid less than $15 an hour. Even among full-time employees who have worked at Disneyland for more than 15 years, 54% are paid less than $15 an hour and 13% are paid less than $11 an hour.

Workers at the Anaheim resort are paid so little that more than 1 in 10 report being homeless at some point in the last two years, two-thirds say they don't have enough food to eat three meals a day and three-quarters say they can't afford basic expenses every month.


If that plan goes through and the company reaches its other major goals, Chief Executive Robert Iger will see his pay quadruple to $162.5 million a year. That would make his annual compensation equal to the total pay of 9,284 Disneyland workers.

Holy fuck this is insane. This has got to change. One guy isn't worth what 9,000 employees are worth.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-8: Wheel Of Corruption & The Chamber Of Secrets Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-8: Wheel Of Corruption & The Chamber Of Secrets Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Switch to the Top 10 today and save $620 a year on your car insurance! Man this has been a crazy week. It sucks that Kevin Smith almost died on Sunday but glad to hear he’s making a good recovery. And did anyone see the controversy coming from actor Chris Pratt (Guardians Of The Galaxy) over sending his “thoughts and prayers” to Kevin Smith? Well, people, get a fucking grip, OK? You should read the insanely long rebuttal from GOTG director James Gunn who came to Chris’ defense. But to say thoughts and prayers are meaningless, which we get after a mass shooting, but to say that rule applies in all cases, you’re just being a colossal dick. Now switching subjects, there is one thing I want to talk about. It’s no secret that I love music – as evidenced by the wide variety of musical acts that we’ve had on this program. But there’s one band in particular that I want to talk about for the intro this week, that’s been in the news a lot lately because of a much hyped reunion tour. Yup, I’m talking about the Smashing Pumpkins. And it’s not even really a reunion without their original bass player D’Arcy Wretsky, who has been unavailable for comment lately. And of course you know Billy Corgan has gone off the deep end lately – appearing on lunatic fringe places like Infowars and going full anti-vaccination. But the reunion tour isn’t doing so hot. In fact some places still have an overwhelming amount of tickets left. I mean could it be that this is February and the shows aren’t until August? Or could it be they booked arenas too big for a band who hasn’t toured in 20 years? Or could it be that Pumpkins fans have had enough of this nonsense? Or could it be that Billy Corgan is a hardcore Trump loving conspiracy theorist who wears “CNN Is ISIS” shirts, said fuck you to Anderson Cooper, and had former bandmates compare him to Trump? We don’t know! We’re just guessing! It’s the Justice League of tours – it’s a disaster from the get go, but they’re doing it anyways, because, money, and you know some executive somewhere is getting a nice big fat bonus check! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver explores the upcoming Italian elections and it might be one of his scariest yet:

Hey everybody the Wheel O’ Corruption is back! Yay!!! The kids love the wheel don’t they? And where do we start this week? Well for starters we’re going to dedicate the first slot to recapping the hate on display at the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC (1). Taking the second slot is of course Gun Nut Apologists (2). And for this entry we’re going to do something a bit different and we’re going to explore the 5 stages of Gun Nut Grief – and in case you’re wondering, no they don’t have any. Taking the third slot this week is the NRA. Wayne La Pierre really screwed the pooch this week and because of that the NRA lost sponsors left and right! Well, it’s at least a start! In the fourth slot this week is the guy currently sitting in the Oval Office – Donald J. Trump. Yes, he had what might be his worst week ever, and he was also forced to stay in DC for the weekend. Taking the 5th slot this week – we have an all new installment of our new ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates” and we’re going to take Tesla’s controversial auto pilot system out for a spin. And you’ll be surprised at what we find! At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all things holy, Holy Shit (6). And this week, we’re going to show you that the Christian right literally became self aware last week. Taking the 7th slot is our old buddy Alex Jones (7). Yeah he sunk to an unbelievable new level of evil last week trying to disrupt the Florida students’ walk out. We’ll recap all the madness there. In the number 8 slot, I have no entry. There’s no news with this entry. And so instead I’m going to use it to refute a popular NRA talking point by showing you a series of clips and videos dedicated to Idiots With Guns (8). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got an all new installment of “People Are Dumb” because well, people are dumb! And finally we’re going to end the World Tour once and for all by coming home! Yes, we’re going to end this bit forever by putting our own country through the World Tour filter! And to close out our Black History Month celebration, what better way to end it then by having our good friends George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic stop by? And they’ve got some brand new music for you, and I can’t wait to hear it! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Recap
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Come on everyone say it with me it’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. And it’s a new year and we have some new items on the wheel! So the Pirates theme from last year is done and this year we’re paying tribute to the Harry Potter franchise! Yes there will be plenty of magic and butter beer a flowing at the Top 10 set this year!

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Top 10 Investigates
- Polls
- Chance
- Nukes
- Protests
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- The GOP
- Butter Beer
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Harry Potter
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin it to win it! And it lands on… clip without context!

What the what?????? Did he really say that??? Yes he did! Guess the NRA forgot to mail Pat his weekly dividend. Spin it again! And it lands on… the GOP. Well you know it’s no secret that conservatives held their annual Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend in Washington DC. Which means that Trump actually had to spend the weekend in DC. And the madness was out in full force. And it was insane. But not before Trump did a little self congratulating.


In other news - Ronald McDonald has a 93% approval rating among McDonalds patrons, Col. Sanders has a 93% approval rating among KFC patrons, Jack has a 93% approval rating among Jack In The Box fans, and the Burger King King has a 93% approval rating among Burger King patrons. It's the fast food superfecta! I mean come on nobody cares what the other 7% do am I right?

(CNN)Longtime conservative Mona Charen -- who faced backlash at CPAC after lambasting Republicans for supporting "sexual harassers and abusers of women" within their party -- now says she's happy with what happened at Saturday's event.
Charen defended her comments on Sunday in a New York Times op-ed titled, "I'm glad I got booed at CPAC."
"There is nothing more freeing than telling the truth," Charen wrote. "And it must be done, again and again, by those of us who refuse to be absorbed into this brainless, sinister, clownish thing called Trumpism, by those of us who refuse to overlook the fools, frauds and fascists attempting to glide along in his slipstream into respectability."
Charen was one of four women on Saturday's #UsToo panel and was asked what riled her up about modern feminism.

I don’t know… what political party is Zoidberg affiliated with? Probably whichever one has the best buffet. And speaking of buffets, there was a buffet of madness on display at CPAC. I mean would you be surprised Trump lied about something? I’m not!

Speaking at the conservative CPAC conference in Washington, President Donald Trump took a hard line on immigration and again used the deadly Central American gang MS-13 as an example.

MS-13 members, he said, "are animals, they cut people. They cut 'em. They cut 'em up in little pieces, and they want them to suffer. And we take them into our country, because our immigration laws are so bad, that when we catch them, it's called catch and release. We have to by law catch them, and then release them. Catch and release.

"And I can't get the Democrats, and nobody has been able to for years, to approve common-sense measures that when we catch these animal killers, we can lock them up and throw away the keys."

It’s hard to tell exactly what Trump meant by this, and the White House answered only by providing details on one case from 2017. We’ve decided not to put this statement to the Truth-O-Meter, but we thought the issues it raises is worth a discussion. Immigration specialists said his statement is at best misleading.

Yeah two thumbs up! But then things got weird when French, I don’t want to say Nazi. Let’s call her “ultra far right” candidate Marine La Pen, and would you be surprised to learn she’s just like Trump? I’m not!

Marion Maréchal-Le Pen, a rising star in the French far-right movement, drew explicit parallels between her worldview and President Donald Trump’s when she took the stage at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C.

“I’m not offended when I hear President Donald Trump say ‘America first,'” Maréchal-Le Pen said Thursday. “In fact, I want America first for the American people, I want Britain first for the British people, and I want France first for the French people.”

Maréchal-Le Pen, 28, is the niece of French far-right National Front leader Marine Le Pen, and known to be more socially conservative than her aunt, the Guardian reports. She’s a former member of the French parliament and announced last year that she was taking a break from politics.

Because that’s one thing conservatives are known for – not taking breaks from politics! But then there was Megan McCain’s turn to speak and she layed the smackdown on Trump for attacking John McCain’s brain cancer. And if there’s one thing you don’t do – it’s attack the Fox News cult. Once you’re on their shit list, you’re on it for life!

“As you know, President Trump took some potshots at my father and got the crowd at CPAC to boo him,” The View panelists McCain said on-air, moments after Trump’s CPAC appearance.

She said her mother will be joining her on The View on Wednesday, at which time “both of us will be addressing this…and talk about what it’s like having this continue to happen while my father battles brain cancer.”

Trump attacked the former Vietnam War POW who has served as Arizona’s senator since 1987, during his CPAC speech Friday morning.

Talking to a hall packed with conservative supporters, Trump slapped himself on the back for his various accomplishments in office, including the repeal of Obamacare’s individual mandate. Trump said he would have been able to kill Obamacare outright, and put a new health care plan in place “except for one senator who came in to the room at 3 o’clock in the morning and went like that,” signaling thumbs down.

Wait, he can be insulted? And Mehgan I can’t believe you’re shocked by this! For shame! You should have been following this program! See – we know Trump lies so much his lies have their own character and body to them, much like a fine wine. Yes, I’ll have the 2016 Bigly Fake please! Mmmm, that is some good shit! But it’s good to know that our president is trying to unite people in a time of crisis and tragedy.

President Trump condemned on Friday a Parkland, Fla., sheriff’s deputy who stayed outside the school he was patrolling while a shooting rampage unfolded inside last week, even as he insisted that his proposal to arm well-trained teachers would have prevented the massacre.

“When it came time to get in there and do something, he didn’t have the courage, or something happened, but he certainly did a poor job — there’s no question about that,” Mr. Trump said of Scot Peterson, who resigned on Thursday after surveillance video showed that he had failed to enter Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland to confront the gunman as he was killing 17 people.

“He was there for five minutes — for five minutes,” Mr. Trump told reporters at the White House. “That was during the entire shooting. He heard it right from the beginning. So he certainly did a poor job, but that’s a case where somebody was outside, they’re trained, they didn’t act properly under pressure, or they were a coward.”

He spoke on his way to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Oxon Hill, Md., where he continued to promote his proposal — embraced by the National Rifle Association — to allow some teachers and other educators to carry concealed firearms in schools. He said on Thursday that such teachers should be paid a small bonus, and that he would devote federal resources to training them to use weapons to protect students.

Oh and this might be one of my favorite stories out of CPAC this weekend – Ted Cruz. Yes that Ted Cruz – painted the Democrats as the party of Lisa Simpson. Do they not realize that Lisa became president after Trump? They even predicted it!

Sen. Ted Cruz kicked off his appearance at CPAC today by declaring that, when it comes to protecting gun rights, the Republican Party is proudly the party of Homer Simpson.

Conservative commentator Ben Domenech said that the current debate over gun rights was aptly summed up by an episode of “The Simpsons” in which Lisa asserted that the Second Amendment is “just a remnant from revolutionary days [and] has no meaning today,” while Homer insisted that the Constitution guarantees him a right to own a gun because otherwise “the king of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around.”

“I think the Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson,” Cruz responded, “and Republicans are happily the party of Homer and Bart and Maggie and Marge.”

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
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Spin that shit!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! And it lands on… chance!

Nice! I get a “Get out of jail free” card. I’ll just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on… guns! People, are we ever going to learn? I think I’ve figured out the five stages of mass shooting grief in this country. And I will explain this with all of the articles and videos in this entry. So the first stage that I’ve come up with to explain Mass Shooting Grief is of course you’re exploiting a tragedy.

Wayne LaPierre, the National Rifle Association’s Executive Vice President, told the Conservative Political Action Conference Thursday that politicians and the media are exploiting the Florida school shooting to expand gun control and ultimately abolish the second amendment, striking a defiant tone in his first public remarks since the mass shooting that killed 17 people and reignited the gun control debate in the U.S. to a fever pitch.

“As usual, the opportunists waited not one second to exploit tragedy for political gain,” LaPierre said during CPAC, the annual gathering of conservative activists and Republican leaders in National Harbor, Md. “Chris Murphy, Nancy Pelosi, and more, cheered on by the national media, eager to blame the NRA and call for more government control.”

“They hate the NRA,” LaPierre said.”The elites don’t care one wit about school children. If they truly cared, they would protect them.”

No Wayne, we’re actually booing you. Now of course I believe the second stage when a national tragedy like this occurs – which is happening on an almost daily basis now – is to blame the victims.

A sheriff in Florida says he will not resign amid mounting criticism for the armed officer who failed to act during the massacre at a high school in Parkland, saying the deputy's response was "not [his] responsibility".

Scott Israel, the Broward County Sheriff, insisted only one of his armed deputies is so far known to have been at fault for staying outside the school during the attack rather than entering to confront the gunman. Nikolas Cruz, a 19-year-old former student at the school, has been charged with the killings.

In the wake of the shooting, Donald Trump called for teachers to be armed, saying “gun-adept” teachers, coaches, and other school workers would be able to deter school shooters.

But it later emerged that there had been an armed policeman, identified as the school's resource officer Scot Peterson, was nearby when the shooting began but did not go into the building.

Yes, you really do suck, sir. And come on, speaking of suck, how unfortunate is it to be strapped with the name Scott Peterson? Seriously. So I think the third stage of Gun Nut Grief is to ignore the calls for a ban on assault weapons.

The US National Rifle Association (NRA) has said it does not support any gun ban following a shooting in a Florida school that left 17 people dead.

The NRA's comments appear to go against President Donald Trump's proposals to tighten gun controls.

Since the 14 February attack on the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School the NRA has become a target of a campaign for tougher gun laws.

On Sunday, some students returned to the school for the first time.

Yeah you suck, NRA, you jackasses! And then there’s the fourth stage of gun nut grief – threaten to murder those who don’t agree with you!

Students at the elite prep school Harvard-Westlake got a troubling alert as they headed to class Friday morning — their campuses had been closed because of a security threat.

A disturbing post on Instagram showing ammunition and a shotgun with the words "#HarvardWestlake" written across the barrel had come to school officials' attention. The account belonged to Jonathan Martin, a former Miami Dolphins' offensive lineman who was the victim of a high-profile bullying scandal in 2013, and is a Harvard-Westlake alumnus.

"When you're a bully victim & a coward, your options are suicide, or revenge," read the text of an Instagram story posted on Martin's account. Martin was taken into custody Friday, and police said they do not believe he posed a threat to the school.

These types of threats have become a fact of life in the nine days since the Valentine's Day shooting that left 17 students and teachers dead in a Florida high school. Almost every day this week brought a new report that sent law enforcement scrambling to decipher the meaning and intent of teenagers' social media posts and comments to friends. School district officials said they were taking even the vaguest of threats seriously, too afraid to do otherwise.

Because only sane, well adjusted, rational people leave death threats! And it doesn’t take a law enforcement expert to figure that one out. Which leads me to the final stage of gun nut grief: sell more guns!

TAMPA, Fla. -- Thousands of gun enthusiasts -- more so than ever -- flocked to the Florida State Fairgrounds for the Florida Gun Show event.

Organizers say they had a record number of people attend the event on Saturday, Feb. 24, almost 7,000, and expected more Sunday.

The manager for the Florida Gun Show, George Fernandez, says they’ve never seen such a big crowd.

The company canceled the show in Fort Lauderdale next month after the mayor asked them to show respect to the victims of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting earlier this month.

With the heated debate over gun control staying front and center, Fernandez expressed concerns over proposed gun laws possibly restricting gun owners.

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[font size="8"]The NRA
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Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No a whammy!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on… guns. Ok so if you go back to the previous entry, Wayne La Pierre really screwed the pooch this week and it caused what some might call a “category 5 shit storm”. So here’s more on what happened.

Before last week, membership in the National Rifle Association meant gaining access to a broad range of discounts. From special rates on auto insurance policies to cheaper flights when you booked through its website, the NRA's discount program offered a lot of perks.

But in the wake of a massacre at a Florida high school on February 14, activists flooded social media with calls to end corporate partnerships with America's most powerful gun lobby.

Since Thursday, more than a dozen brands severed ties with the organization.

In a statement, the National Rifle Association called the decisions "a shameful display of political and civic cowardice."

Hell yeah! But is it really an act of cowardice, NRA? Well, why don’t you just ask your president? I mean he’s clearly the right man for the job!

President Trump on Monday claimed he would have run into a Florida high school to prevent a gunman from carrying out this month's mass shooting.

"You don't know until you test it, but I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon,” Trump told a gathering of governors at the White House. "And I think most of the people in this room would have done that, too."

The president was doubling down on his criticism of an armed sheriff’s deputy who did not confront the shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, where 17 people were killed earlier this month.

"They weren’t exactly Medal of Honor winners, alright?" Trump said. "The way they performed was frankly disgusting.”

Trump also told the governors he ate lunch last weekend with leaders of the National Rifle Association (NRA).

Someone just saw Rambo! But really Trump? You would run into the gunfire? That would require you to run first of all. I mean you can barely walk a golf course! But back to the NRA – they handled this whole thing very poorly. You might be asking why?

The aftermath of a mass shooting in America is tragically familiar. After the shock and grief, advocates push lawmakers to pass stricter gun laws. The NRA stands its ground. Nothing really changes.

But something else is happening after the attack at a high school in Parkland, Florida.

People are pushing companies to cut ties with the powerful gun lobby. Advocates are targeting not weapons makers, but banks, rental car agencies, airlines, insurers and other companies with ties to the NRA.

"Americans have had it," said Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, a group that calls for gun law reform. "This feels like a different energy level," she added.

And yes change is scary. But come on we need to do something. And the backlash has already begun. So the NRA held a town hall over the weekend and it was also a category 5 shit storm. So here’s what happened exactly.

CNN is slated to hold a live town hall event next week featuring a discussion with parents and students from the Florida high school where a gunman killed 17 students and staff members.

The network announced Saturday it will air "Stand Up: The Students of Stoneman Douglas Demand Action" on Wednesday, Feb. 21, following calls from students demanding that lawmakers take legislative action to prevent future mass shootings.

CNN said it has invited President Trump, Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R), Florida Sens. Marco Rubio (R) and Bill Nelson (D) as well as Rep. Ted Deutch (D) to the discussion to hear from the community members affected by the tragedy.

Which he brought that same shit eating grin to that meeting. And come on, how do you need note cards to tell you how to feel? I mean this isn’t Futurama!

President Trump tweeted Thursday night a claim that a student had quit CNN's Town Hall after refusing a "scripted question." CNN had earlier issued a statement that said "there is absolutely no truth to this."

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School junior Colton Haab told ABC affiliate WPLG-TV that "CNN had originally asked me to write a speech and questions, and it ended up being all scripted." Haab, who had previously told CNN he used Kevlar sheets to shield students from bullets, said he decided not to participate.

In a statement posted online by CNN Communications, Haab had been asked to participate after the earlier interview. According to CNN, Haab's father withdrew his name from participation before the forum began.

Fox News' Tucker Carlson also interviewed Haab. Haab told Carlson that a CNN producer had contacted him to participate and asked him to send in comments. Haab said a day later, they asked him to submit only questions and not a statement. He said he sent in questions but then CNN "actually wrote out a question for me" from his earlier interview.

Yes! Wrong! Fake news! Scripted questions! Everything is fake! And of course the NRA isn’t helping things, and I don think this is the right way to phrase how you got owned.

Michael Hammond, a spokesman for Gun Owners of America who just weeks before the recent mass shooting at a school in Florida, boasted of his group’s role in stopping gun legislation after school massacres in Colorado and Connecticut, appeared on VCY America’s “Crosstalk” program on Thursday, where he attacked a CNN town hall about gun violence as a “lynch mob” and entertained callers promoting various conspiracy theories about the Florida shooting.

In response to host Jim Schneider’s question about the claims of one student who claimed that CNN required him to read a “scripted” question at the town hall (CNN has released emails rebutting this), Hammond said that “CNN basically accumulated a lynch mob.” He repeated NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch’s claim, which is not backed up by videos of the event, that attendees yelled “burn her” at her as she left the town hall.

“I mean, that was not a town hall, that was a lynch mob orchestrated by CNN to create the illusion that young Americans, in fact, want to ban guns when in fact, it’s just a carefully selected, carefully group of people that don’t represent America at all,” Hammond said.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Ooh that was a good spin right there. And it lands on…. Ooh look another clip without context!

Quick! To the pedo mobile! Thank you sound effects guy. You know it’s getting harder and harder to take these clowns seriously anymore. Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump. So Donald Trump, our 45th president, has been bringing the crazy extra hard this week. But in case you aren’t aware – he is running again in 2020! Mark your calendars! Because early campaigns are always a good thing!

President Trump will announce this week that he plans to run for reelection in 2020.

Conservative news aggregator Matt Drudge made the announcement Tuesday on his website.

The president plans to tap his former digital adviser Brad Parscale, who is presently spearheading a pro-Trump outside group called America First Policies, as his campaign manager, Drudge reported.

Trump's decision to run for reelection is not a surprise. He's repeatedly talked about being president for eight years and he filed paperwork with the Federal Elections Commission in January for his reelection committee.

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/375776-trump-to-announce-reelection-bid-for-2020

Remember the last time America went through a “winning” phase? Remember how stupid we all thought we were when it was finally over? So what makes this any different than the last time it happened? Well…

When it comes to Russia, Americans have more trust in special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation than they do in President Trump's denials of collusion, a new USA TODAY/Suffolk University Poll finds.

By wide margins, those surveyed are convinced that Russians meddled in the 2016 presidential election and that they will try it again. More than four in 10 believe Moscow's interference affected the outcome of the election that put Trump in the White House.

The poll of 1,000 registered voters, taken after Mueller's team indicted 13 Russians and three companies on criminal charges, spotlight the potential perils ahead for the president if he ends up in a showdown with the special counsel. A 58% majority say they have a lot or some trust in Mueller's investigation, while a 57% majority say they have little or no trust in Trump's denials.

"I think he's doing a heck of a job," John Shaw, 60, of Madison, Wis., said of Mueller. "He's not leaking anything. He's going piece by piece, methodically putting this whole thing together."

Read more: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/02/26/russia-americans-trust-special-counsel-mueller-more-than-trump-usa-today-poll-shows/371345002/

That’s right! More Americans trust the guy investigating Trump than they trust Trump! I mean is that how we win so much that we’re going to be sick of winning? That’s right! One guy in the audience going “woo!”. And someone really needs to take Fox News away from Trump. I think his derangement of Hillary Clinton is starting to go meta.

President Donald Trump’s TiVo was working overtime on Tuesday morning, as it seemed he was catching up on old episodes of Fox News — notably last night’s episode of Martha McCallum’s Fox News show.

The president first took to Twitter to quote Fox News judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano, who said on McCallum’s show Monday night that “someone at the Justice Department has a treasure trove of evidence of Mrs. Clinton’s criminality at her own hands, or through others, that ought to be investigated”:

“I fully agree with the president on that,” Napolitano added.

The former judge was reacting to Trump’s remarks in an interview with Jeanine Pirro from the weekend, in which he called on “you know who” — ostensibly Attorney General Jeff Sessions — to investigate Democrats for alleged misdeeds during the 2016 election.

Watch Napolitano’s comments above, via Fox News.

Think of it like this – Fox News knows Trump watches 24/7. They then feed him talking points which he then posts on his twitter feed. It’s a bullshit to bullshit pipeline. But we got to talk about Trump’s speech at CPAC for a minute. Here’s what he started with.

Two days after his White House “listening session,” where he met with anguished survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school massacre and the parents of the dead, President Trump is in a jocular mood. “I try like hell to hide that bald spot, folks, I work hard at it,” he tells the adoring audience at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference. “We’re hanging in there folks—together we are hanging in.”

He is clearly having a fine time hanging in. His rambling, bellicose speech: Bragging about eviscerating Obamacare; disparaging John McCain; smirking as the crowd reprises the stale “Lock Her Up” chant; reminding the audience of his miraculous electoral college victory. (Even they must be sick of this by now?)

It takes him almost an hour to mention the Parkland massacre. When he does, he promulgates what has emerged as his favorite solution for combatting school shootings—giving guns to teachers. Elaborating in a tweet on Saturday, the President wrote: “Armed Educators (and trusted people who work within a school) love our students and will protect them. Very smart people. Must be firearms adept & have annual training. Should get yearly bonus. Shootings will not happen again - a big & very inexpensive deterrent. Up to States.”

Holy shit! If that’s his opener, what’s his closer going to be? I know! Lets think of this like a concert – he’s already got his greatest hits out of the way and he’s building up to the big finale. What is it you might ask?

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md.—Republican activists in the audience at President Trump's speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday broke out into a "lock her up" chant, reviving the 2016 GOP presidential campaign chant to imprison Hillary Clinton.
The chants started after Trump criticized Clinton as "crooked" during a brief aside in his remarks. He seized on the chant to go further on the offensive against his political rival.

“Everything that's turning out — now, it's amazing. It's come full circle. Wow, have they committed a lot of atrocities?" Trump said to the crowd, which cheered and yelled encouragement after the "Lock her up" chants subsided.

Oh yeah called it!!! That’s always his big closing number! I’ll just leave this here.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Self Piloting Cars
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, and lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!


He seriously talks like a valley girl doesn’t he? I mean you could seriously cast Trump in a remake of “Legally Blonde” and it would be exactly the same. Spin it again! And it lands on… Top 10 Investigates! Hit it!

Some of America’s biggest auto manufacturers like Tesla, Cadillac, and Volkswagen, are test driving a controversial new system that will allow cars to drive themselves. But what is it exactly? How reliable is it? Does it give you a higher probability of being killed or injured behind the wheel? These are the answers to the questions that are the biggest draw that is self driving cars.

Tesla has been promising a significant new update to the Autopilot software for a while now and Elon Musk, along with a few other executives, have been teasing the quality of the new version over the last few months.

Electrek has now learned the first details of this new update as Tesla started beta testing the new build.

Sources familiar with the matter told Electrek that the only new feature is the ability of Autopilot 2.0 to detect and render on the instrument cluster vehicles driving in lanes adjacent to the lane in which the Tesla vehicle is driving.

The bigger difference is the improvements to existing Autopilot features, like Autosteer, due to a much more advanced neural net system to power the Autopilot’s computer vision.

We picture the auto pilot system to be just like that. But now people are taking the Auto Pilot in a much different direction – coming up with ways to fool it. I mean come on, do you really want to fool your new $100,000 car?

Autonomous cars are becoming increasingly more popular. It's no surprise that manufacturers are looking to add their own iterations of this creature comfort to newer luxury cars, and despite some of the public expecting to get into a self-driving car and just watch a movie, or not pay attention in the slightest, automakers haven't quite perfected the technology. That's why some owners have resorted to their own "hacks" in order to achieve fully hands-free driving.

To show just why driver alertness is still required with today's self-driving technology, we visit the Golden State to discuss how bad of an idea this alleged drunk driver had when he stepped behind the wheel of his Tesla. Eventually, because the driver failed to respond to the Tesla's prompts to engage the steering wheel, his car came to a stop on the Bay Bridge before officers found the vehicle. According to the California Highway Patrol on Twitter, the offender attempted to defend his actions by explaining to the officers that his car was using Autopilot.

Tesla, which has one of the more advanced autonomous driving platforms available for consumers to purchase in the United States and elsewhere around the world, still has a way to go in order to be perfect. The technical and legal limitations of a brand new kind of driving will most certainly have some ups and downs before becoming a widely adopted standard. Many drivers seem to forget this and still continue to put themselves and others in harm's way.


Because of course they will. This is 2018 here. Never underestimate the other guy’s blatant stupidity – even if he owns a $100,000 electric vehicle. Just because you can afford it, does not mean you get to be stupid with it. But as cool as that Space X launch was, Tesla’s controversial auto pilot system so far is failing to impress.

Tesla's Autopilot feature has become the subject of controversy again after a Model S that was possibly using the feature crashed into a fire truck on January 22. The feature gives Tesla vehicles semi-autonomous capabilities but is not meant to replace a human driver.

Now, Chris Lattner, the former Apple legend who spent nearly six months leading Tesla's Autopilot software team in 2017, has expressed his disappointment at the software's current state.

In a post on Twitter, Lattner shared a short review of the Model 3, Tesla's first mass-market electric car.

"The hardware is truly great (a big step up from my Model S) but the software is unfinished and buggy," he wrote. "I'm also sad how little progress HW2 Autopilot has made since I last drove it in June..."

Well, at least the Airplane! auto pilot system was quite a bit better designed than Tesla, and that was in a comedy movie. But why are auto insurers encouraging the use of self driving cars? Maybe it’s because they know they will make more money?

Britain’s largest auto insurer, Direct Line, has been offering Tesla owners a sweet-sounding deal for the last few months: Enable Autopilot, the semi-autonomous driver-assist system, and get five percent off your yearly insurance premium. When the insurer announced the inducement in December, Tesla owners nearly broke the internet, as they rushed to crow, assuming they too were in line for a similar financial windfall. They were wrong.

One problem is that this discount isn't coming to America, for reasons we'll explain. But there's another surprising fact to consider: The cost of auto insurance in the driverless age might just increase, even though the number of crashes decreases.

Direct Line's stated goal with this Tesla initiative is to encourage the use of the semi-autonomous (SAE Level 2/3) system in the United Kingdom. Accelerated adoption would help Direct and the rest of the insurance industry learn more about how self-driving technologies can cut down on roadway mishaps and fatalities, and reduce insurance claims in the process.

But would you really be surprised that the built in wifi on a Tesla Model 3 can be hacked? This is some next level James Bond type stuff here.

Tesla is delivering more Model 3 vehicles every day and now the vehicle is making its way into the hands of Tesla hackers and tinkerers who are exploring the new all-electric vehicle in depth.

It’s why it’s not surprising that someone has now managed to hack the Model 3’s ‘factory mode’ – revealing a few interesting details in the process.

‘Factory mode’ is a version of Tesla’s onboard software in its vehicles used to perform final tests and diagnostics before shipping the car out of the factory.

It has a toolbox screen that can give some interesting information about the vehicle’s powertrain.

A member of the Tesla community who goes by ‘Ingineerix’ already has a lot of experience hacking Tesla vehicles. He recently took delivery of a new Model 3 and started going to work.

Yes there is always the possibility of cracking. But we’ll leave you with this – when you have a car that is capable of driving itself, expect to see more of this. And this is something we don’t want.

The Tesla was traveling at 65 miles per hour---the driver reportedly told firefighters that the vehicle was on auto-pilot. This is the second accident involving a Tesla on auto-pilot in the last two weeks, according to ABC7.

Tesla's auto pilot feature is an advanced driver assistance system that uses cameras, sensors and various vehicle systems to maintain the speed of the car, prevent them from running into slower-moving cars ahead, keep the vehicle in the lane and even change lanes for the driver, according to Auto Trader. Very few other cars have all of these systems, and Tesla gives control of all of them to the car's electronic capabilities, requiring much less input from the driver, according to Auto Trader.

The National Transportation Safety Board will be coming to California to examine the crash, according to ABC7. No one was injured. The first Tesla auto-pilot crash occurred Jan. 13 on the Bay Bridge. The suspected drunk driver had passed out behind the wheel, ABC7 reported.


So there you have it. You have a car that drives itself. But not without consequences. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… another clip without context!

Uh huh sure, blame the victims for not being nice enough to the attacker. How very Christian of you. Spin it again! Holy shit, hit it! Yes friends! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to inform you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So let me ask you something my fine brothers and sisters of this beautiful congregation of the LAWRD our GAWD… how does the religious right respond to the government? Not that way, sir! So this week, the Christian right became self aware. And how does the organizations who proclaim themselves in the name of JAYSUS handle such a situation?

Focus on the Family, the behemoth Religious Right organization founded by James Dobson, has declared itself to be a church, thereby avoiding a requirement that it file public tax documents, according to IRS records and a document available on the organization’s website.

Focus on the Family filed as a non-church 501(c)(3) nonprofit as recently as the 2014 fiscal year, submitting to the IRS a publicly available Form 990 as most tax-exempt nonprofits are required to do. But when the group posted a Form 990 for the 2015 fiscal year on its website—dated October 26, 2017, and reporting a massive budget of $89 million—it was emblazoned with the message “Not required to file and not filed with the IRS. Not for public inspection.”

On the part of the form on which it is required to identify the reason for its public charity status, the group indicates that it is a “church, convention of churches or association of churches.” In an “explanation of church status,” the organization states that while it hasn’t filed with the IRS because the IRS has told it that it’s “not required” to do so, it would “post a pro-forma 990 on our website and make copies available to donors.”

Yeah booooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir! So Focus On The Family robbed Peter to pay… themselves! They have committed one of the most egregious of sins as outlined here in the good book! And sins must be punished in the name of the lawrd our gawd!!! But what… else… does the Christian right do to become self aware? Why they simply insert themselves into the business of Donald J. Trump.

While thousands of conservative political activists gather just outside Washington, D.C., this week for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), a gathering of spiritual warriors will pack the Trump International Hotel just blocks from the White House. The sold-out event—The Turnaround: An Appeal to Heaven National Gathering—has been organized by a group of dominionists who consider themselves to be modern-day apostles and prophets, including Dutch Sheets, Chuck Pierce, Cindy Jacobs and Lou Engle.

Event leaders are associated with the New Apostolic Reformation, which believes a triumphant, dominion-taking church will help bring about the return of Christ, and many are part of POTUS Shield, a network of self-described apostles and prophets who believe President Trump was anointed by God to help bring that all about.

Sheets, the event’s main promoter, believes the event will play a prophetic role in getting the church to “function as Christ’s Ekklesia, the representatives of His Kingdom government on earth; as such, we will expose the enemies of God, disrupt their plans, enforce Heaven’s rule, and reform America.” As he described it in 2015, “We must realize that we are God’s governing force on the earth, which have been given keys of authority from Him to legislate from the spiritual realm.”

“It seems the spiritual airwaves are filled with prophetic insight regarding this gathering,” Sheets wrote excitedly in an email sent over the weekend. He told a story about a dream that a “trusted prophet” had, which featured hundreds of angels with tuning forks in their hands transforming into an army of special forces.

Heaven’s rule? If this is Heaven’s rule, I would hate to see what Hell’s rule looks like! Thank you my fine congregation! And by the way if this is really the work of the lawrd our gawd… then why is HE fucking up so hard? Well here is more proof of God’s existance!!!

On Friday, right-wing televangelist James Robison posted a video on his Facebook page in which he declared that Donald Trump’s presidency is a sign that “God is answering the prayers of praying people.”

Robison, who has been a key spiritual adviser to Trump since the 201 election, called on Christians to not only continue praying for Trump but also to pray against his opponents, who “need to be prayed out of office and replaced by someone who understands freedom’s principles because we are losing freedom, there is an all-out assault on the freedoms our Founding Fathers understood.”

“We are a democracy, in that we choose our leaders,” Robison said. “That means you have got to choose wisely and you have got to be led by God. And when you are praying and you get a leader, that leader is either there to bring correction or judgment on the people. I believe that God answered our prayers mercifully and, in mercy, is giving us a healing of the land. I believe we are seeing a miracle right now.”

Robison said that he has spent years speaking to Trump many times a week and often several times a day, during which he “proclaims the truth of God’s word consistently” and never wavers. He said that Trump has been remarkably open to hearing with word of God.

Indeed oh lord!!!!! So are the praying people really as big of asshole as he is? Probably!

Former White House adviser Sebastian Gorka spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference this morning, where he declared that Donald Trump’s election is proof that God exists.

Declaring that conservatives and Republicans must mobilize to vote in the 2018 midterm elections in order to prevent Democrats from gaining control of Congress, Gorka said that if Hillary Clinton had become become president in 2016, “we would have lost our republic.”

“If you ever had a doubt that God exists, guess what?” Gorka said, “November the 8th all the proof you need. Why? Because [Clinton] had it all, she had the media, she spent $1.4 billion on a seat, on a position, she thought was owed to her because of her gender and her last name, but she lost!”

Gorka said that Trump “brought us back from the brink. We didn’t have two wheels over the edge of the cliff, we had three wheels over the edge of the cliff. If she had won, that was it—from the Supreme Court on down, that was it. We would have lost our republic.”

Yes indeed! And by the way how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them!!! But in order to be self aware, you must be free of DEMONS!!!! And that is what our first lady did!

Last week, End Times pastor Paul Begley appeared on “The Hagmann Report,” where he stood by his claim that First Lady Melania Trump had ordered the White House to be “completely exorcised” before she moved in.

After Begley made this claim earlier this month, the story was widely circulated among those who saw it as a sign of President Trump’s growing Christian faith, which eventually prompted the Associated Press to contact the White House for comment, forcing the first lady’s office to declare that Begely’s claim was “not true in any way.”

But Begley is standing by his claim and insisting that the AP’s story denying the exorcism is “fake news.”

“The lamestream, mainstream fake news media tried to say that that was fake news or that there was no—I think they said the White House, Melania Trump’s spokeswoman said there was no ‘exorcism’ in the White House,” Begley said. “There may not have been a, quote, ‘exorcism’ in the White House, but they didn’t say that they didn’t remove all of the idols, all the relics, all the witchcraft, all the voodoo, all of the things that were in there. They are not going to tell you those weren’t removed because, believe me, they were.”

Yes, just ask her! But I hope you get that as a take away from this week’s sermon – demons are bad and not allowed in the White House, OK? Now go forth and spread the word of JAYSUS and our GAWD using the knowledge you have acquired in the Good Book! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on…. Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Wait – I’ve got that Get Out Of Jail Free card! Spin it again! Infowars. Shit, do I really have to talk about that shitty channel again? Aw, I’d rather be in jail. Wait, there’s good news about Infowars? But there’s also bad news? OK thanks for clearing that up, Carlos. So here’s at least part of the bad news – we haven’t got to the full story yet – is that Alex is offering up a piping hot dish of some certified grade A bullshit:

InfoWars personality and host Alex Jones said that the school shooting last week, in which a former student killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, was organized by globalists following the release of the House Intelligence Committee’s FISA memo.

Jones says that in the week preceding the mass shooting, he predicted “more than 10 times on air” that there would be a “new Oklahoma City attack on a church, a school, or a federal building blamed on right-wing terrorists” and that comments made at the time by Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) were evidence of that.

“You had Congressman Schiff, you had senators, you had globalist operatives, MSNBC, CNN saying there’s going to be massacres if you release the memo. You’re gonna cause right-wingers to kill us.”

Democrats and Republicans had been fighting ahead of the release of a controversial and hyped intelligence memo written by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), which alleged surveillance powers abuse during the 2016 election against the Trump campaign by the Obama administration.

Yes…. WTF LOL indeed. Although methinks Alex doth protest too much because this is a whole new level of crazy. You know Alex – he kind of reminds me of a much crazier Riddler. You might have heard the term “crisis actor” floating around the internet last week. Well guess where it originated from? Yup you are correct!

Welcome, Parkland shooting survivors, to the ugly world of politics in 2018.

In the aftermath of last week’s school shooting in Parkland, Fla., some of the most powerful testimonies have come from the teenagers who survived the rampage. They have repeatedly detailed their harrowing experience to national news networks, many calling for stricter gun control laws while decrying President Trump for not doing enough to protect students. Others have wept with grief while telling their stories again and again.

The students have become a mobilizing force unlike any seen after previous mass shootings, planning marches and rallies in Florida and Washington — all while mourning the friends they’ve so recently lost.

They have also become a target of right-wing smears and innuendo.

Some prominent figures in the right-wing media are suggesting that the students are making it all up, or that the children are paid actors or that their talking points have been manufactured by public relations experts on the left.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seriously attacking the victims as “crisis actors” and saying they’re paid protestors. That is a stunning, jaw dropping level of evil. But not entirely unexpected, this is Alex Jones we’re talking about here. The guy who sells led-based protein powder and calls it “bone growth formula”. Oh wait, I’m sorry “TACTICAL bone growth formula”. But here’s where the good news comes in! Alex is treading on dangerously thin ice with Youtube after this fuck up!

InfoWars, a far-right media organization run by Alex Jones and known for peddling unfounded conspiracy theories, is on thin ice with YouTube after it posted a video that portrayed the survivors of the Parkland school shooting as actors.

The Alex Jones Channel, Infowar's biggest YouTube account, received one strike for that video, a source with knowledge of the account told CNN. YouTube's community guidelines say if an account receives three strikes in three months, the account is terminated.

That video focused on David Hogg, a strong voice among survivors of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The attention has given him a powerful platform -- but it has also made him the subject of demonstrably false conspiracy theories that claim he's so skilled as a public speaker that he must be a paid actor.

On Wednesday, YouTube removed the video from InfoWars' page for violating its policies on harassment and bullying. The video was titled, "David Hogg Can't Remember His Lines In TV Interview."

Although it is really sad that we have to take time to clarify the bullshit spewing hard and far among the far right conspiracy theorists. And really, if you admit to listening to Alex Jones, first of all – nobody is coming to take your guns away. But someone needs to take you aside for a little chat.

In the days since a gunman opened fire on their classmates on Valentine's Day, killing 17 people just as school was about to end for the day, a group of outraged teenage survivors have been vocally demanding stricter gun laws. In response to their activism, right-wing outlets have contrived and pushed false reports that the students are actors capitalizing on the tragedy to push a liberal agenda on gun control.

These fake claims have now gone viral. Hundreds of videos, articles, and posts claiming to unmask these fake students have swept across social media, gaining thousands of views, shares, and retweets. The content picks apart the students' performances in media interviews as they talked about the friends they lost in the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and their anger that the tragedy happened at another US school.

As of Tuesday night, 108,135 people were talking about "crisis actors" on Facebook. One video had been watched more than 41,000 times and shared by about 2,300 users. Before it was removed, another Facebook post calling Stoneman Douglas senior David Hogg an actor was shared more than 110,000 times. Yet another clip posted on Twitter got more than 6,000 retweets.

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[font size="8"]Idiots With Guns
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Yeah sure because we all know demons exist. Just ask that crazy lady from Trading Spouses. Spin it again! And we get… the mystery item! So folks we’re going to have some fun with this. I’m taking a break from talking about all the horrible news going on and we’re going to take a second to refute the NRA’s most famous talking point. Yes – you know the one. “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. So where are the good guys with guns? Well they’re here. This is *cue reverb* “Idiots With Guns”. Ooh, that was some good reverb! And I will ask the NRA – how are more guns going to make us safer, exactly? Can we cue up some music please?

And here we go!

Ready for more?

Oh we’re not done yet!

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… clip without context!

Go on…………………! Spin it again! And it lands on… oh hey! People are dumb!

I want to start with this story out of Oberlin, Louisiana. Loosiana!!!! So really people, is this where we’re at in 2018? Look, I’ve taken a lot of math classes and I’m sure you all have as well. But have you ever looked at a square root symbol and thought “hey! That looks like something you could shoot someone with!”. So of course widespread panic ensues, because I know what country I live in.

A discussion among students at Oberlin High School in Oberlin, La., about a mathematical symbol led to a police investigation and a search of one of the student’s homes, according to the Allen Parish Sheriff’s Office. On the afternoon of Feb. 20, detectives investigated a report of terroristic threats at the school, where they learned that a student had been completing a math problem that required drawing the square-root sign.

Students in the group began commenting that the symbol, which represents a number that when multiplied by itself equals another number, looked like a gun. After several students made comments along those lines, another student said something the sheriff’s office said could have sounded like a threat out of context.

Police searched the student’s home, where they found no guns or any evidence that he had any access to guns. Authorities also wrote there was no evidence the student had any intent to commit harm.

“The student used extremely poor judgment in making the comment, but in light of the actual circumstances, there was clearly no evidence to support criminal charges,” the department wrote, adding that the school board had been contacted to determine any disciplinary action for the student.


So the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a square root symbol is a good guy with a square root symbol! Maybe that’s why they call it “the sum of all fears”! Hey o! Next up on the subject of guns – you know – don’t bring a corn dog to a gun fight. And why am I not surprised that our old buddy Florida Man is involved?

A Florida man desperate to get his beer Friday used hot dogs and a corn dog stick to attack a gas station clerk, police said Monday.

Cavan McDaniel, 35, threw hot dogs and poked the female clerk with a corn dog stick at Petro gas station in Marion County, officials said. McDaniel’s bizarre outbreak allegedly began after the clerk refused to sell him beer. It’s unclear what the clerk’s reason was.

“The victim was left with a red mark under her eye due to the corn dog stick attack,” the sheriff’s office said.

Surveillance video captured a man identified as McDaniel lunging with a hot dog at the clerk.

You’re welcome for that image by the way. Next up – planes. And bad puns. This is an exceptionally bad travel story out of Amsterdam, and if your poop is so rancid that it diverts a flight, you might want to go have your bowels examined.

Sometimes plane travel really stinks.

A flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had to make an emergency landing in Vienna after a fight broke out because one of the passengers wouldn’t stop breaking wind.

The fart-induced fracas happened Feb. 11 aboard Transavia Airlines Flight HV6902 when two men sitting next to an apparently very flatulent man raised a stink about his repeated gas attacks, according to Fox News.

When the alleged perpetrator didn’t stop, his disgusted seatmates reportedly complained to the airline crew, who apparently did nothing.

Instead, the captain issued a warning to the two complainants, accusing them of noisy and aggressive behavior and making threats, according to the NL Times.

Hey man we just did Holy Shit! Leave that to Pastor Initech! Next up – fast food. And no it’s not fast food rage, and I do love a good fast food rage story. This is actually more of a fast food marketing fail – would you really want to eat your selfie? Which has me now curious as to whether or not @realDonaldTrump would eat this or not.

One picture is worth a thousand bites.

Hardee's announced today it will be toasting the faces of fans (and others) into the sourdough toast, as a promotion of the chain's Frisco Breakfast Sandwiches. The company says it's because its "sourdough toast in the morning is changing the face of breakfast."

The promotion is taking place from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Hardee's will be toasting the faces of people who tweet a photo with the hashtag #SourdoughSelfie. Some famous faces will also appear, the chain says.

To participate, follow the company's Twitter account and submit your own selfie.

Damn straight! Finally this week we’ve got this story involving animal transportation – and this is a story that is actually pretty close to where I live! So… this guy is every conservative redneck cowboy wannabe in a nutshell. I love this so much!

LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) — Authorities say a drunken man rode his horse onto a California freeway.

Los Angeles news station KABC-TV reports that the California Highway Patrol stopped the man early Saturday on State Route 91 in Long Beach.

Officers administered field sobriety tests, which registered blood-alcohol levels of 0.21 percent and 0.19 percent — more than double the legal limit.

The man was arrested and booked for riding a horse while under the influence. The white horse, Guera, wasn’t hurt and was released to the man’s mother.

The California Highway Patrol offered a message to the public on Twitter: “No, you may not ride your horse on the freeway, and certainly not while intoxicated.”

At least Mr. Ed has more brains than our president does! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #6: The United States Of America
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Let’s give the wheel a final spin this week. And it lands on… t-shirt cannon! Unfortunately I don’t have the budget to make and sell t-shirts. If I did you would be getting our Shithole World Tour t-shirt! Yes, it does have the poop emoji on it. Spin it again! Shithole World Tour 2018! Hit it!

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]The United States Of America[/font]

Welcome to the United States Of America everybody! This is our very last stop ever of our World Tour, and we decided that we would do something unprecedented. We’re going to put our *OWN* country through our World Tour filter. So of course we know and love the United States whether you’re visiting the insane metropolis that is New York City or stuck in traffic in the crazy freeway system that is Los Angeles. Or maybe you’re visiting the vast mountains of Colorado and Wyoming. Or maybe you’re going to Texas. Or you’re a country music fan who’s visiting Nashville. Or you’re a hip hop fan and you’re going to Atlanta. There is something for everybody here in the Land Of The Free and the Home Of The Brave. We also have the best food in the world and the best fast food in the world. I mean where else can you get a Triple Bacon Whopper and then wash it down with a 45 ounce jug of ice cold Coca Cola? We also have the best entertainment in the world. Come to Los Angeles and watch your favorite band in concert at the Forum or at Coachella. Or go to New York City and catch a taping of your favorite late night talk show host. Or go to Miami and check out all the beautiful rich people hanging out at the beaches. We’re also the home of the road trip! What better summer vacation than to spend it with your family while your kid is in the backseat complaining about how his iPad doesn’t get Wifi reception? So what else is the United States the home of? Well for starters it has a real sexual harassment problem!

Unwanted sexual comments and groping. Propositioning women. Exposing themselves. Coercing women into having sex or doing something sexual. And, especially pertinent to showbiz, forcing women to disrobe and appear naked at an audition without prior warning.

It's been deeply disturbing reading, but so far the powerful stories of accusers outnumber plain, hard facts about the extent of the problem in Tinseltown. Until now.

Working in partnership with The Creative Coalition, Women in Film and Television and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, USA TODAY surveyed 843 women who work in the entertainment industry in a variety of roles (producers, actors, writers, directors, editors and others) and asked them about their experiences with sexual misconduct.

The results are sobering: Nearly all of the women who responded to the survey (94%) say they have experienced some form of harassment or assault, often by an older individual in a position of power over the accuser.

Worse, more than one-fifth of respondents (21%) say they have been forced to do something sexual at least once.


You know what else the US A is the home of? It’s the home of safe spaces! And one campus in particular has been drawing a lot of controversy for one of the most ridiculous protests yet.

One of America’s most prominent conservative youth organisations has been engaged for months in a bitter internal fight over a university student wearing a baby’s diaper.

Turning Point USA, the non-profit founded by conservative activist Charlie Kirk and funded by a roster of Republican mega-donors, is known for the performative stunts it uses to recruit new members on campus. Among other things, they have created a “Professor Watch List” for teachers who they claim discriminate against conservatives, and invited right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos to speak on college campuses.

However it was “Free Speech Week” at Kent State University last October, which featured one student dressed in a diaper, sucking on a pacifier in a playpen, that brought the group mass attention.

Well you know there’s no such thing as bad publicity. You know what else the USA is the home of? It’s the home of the National Football League. And it’s also the home of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. And this controversy just will never die!

But it might not be an issue.

Among the NFL players who continued to protest throughout the season, none made it to the Super Bowl.

The protest was started by former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick last season. He took a knee during the National Anthem to silently protest the treatment of black Americans, particularly by police.

Many more players kneeled in protest this year, especially after President Trump denounced it and called for the firing of kneeling players.

Several New England Patriots players took part that first weekend after the president's incendiary comments, but haven't kneeled since.

That is pretty much our reaction too, there, sir. What else is the USA the home of? I know! It’s the home of the state of Florida! And all the crazy shit that comes out of that state! I could sit here all day and show crazy Florida stories. But I don’t have that kind of time! Here’s a few.

And of course we can’t talk about the USA without talking about guns but we’ve already covered that subject pretty extensively in this edition. So we won’t go into that subject. Instead you know what else the USA is the home of? Fast food! And television. And what happens when you combine the two?

"Rick and Morty" fans looking forward to Monday as their day for another chance to score McDonald's once-discontinued Szechuan dipping sauce found themselves fried yet again over problems getting the condiment.

On social media, some fans reported their McD's locations didn't have the promised sauce, had never heard of it or wouldn't provide it to them unless they ordered chicken tenders, not chicken McNuggets.

McDonald's did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Not all restaurants faced issues. I went to a Seattle McDonald's Monday afternoon and had no problem ordering the sauce with both chicken tenders and chicken McNuggets. The counter staffer knew about it and said it could be ordered with "anything that could be dipped." (Taste-test review: It tastes a lot like a simple teriyaki sauce to me -- fine, but I'd rather have sweet and sour.)

The sauce comes with a complicated backstory. Fans of Adult Swim's cult favorite animated show have been clamoring for McDonald's to bring back Szechuan dipping sauce since the discontinued dip got mentioned on the show in 2017. https://www.cnet.com/news/mcdonalds-szechuan-sauce-burns-rick-and-morty-fans-again/


[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Our country isn’t perfect but it’s the best we got. Unfortunately the toxic political climate we live in now is making things worse for residents and people looking to move here.

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

There is no next week! We’re finished! Done! Terminado! I want to once again thank all of our amazing hosts for this tour! You have been great! See you next time!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen we are ending our Black History Month celebration the right way! Playing the first new Parliament song in 40 years “I’m Gon Make You Sick O’ Me”, give it up for George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Join our Top 10 Rewards program today for exciting benefits and offers! Ah who am I kidding? I am not going to subject you to that shit! We already get enough of it. But I will give you free Top 10s just for repeat customers. Because unlike Trump, we care. We are back everybody. There's a lot of crazy things happening in the world - whether it's going on in the Olympics or it's Fergie butchering the national anthem. Hey conservatives that's how you disrespect the anthem - it's not by kneeling protests, it's by Fergie. But I really think we need to hold an intervention for Jay-Z guys. Either that or invite him to my next birthday party. So Jay-Z had an epic guys' night out in New York City to celebrate the birthday of his Roc Sports' cofounder Juan Perez. During the course of the night, Jay spent a little over $110,000 for 40 bottles of his own brand of crazy expensive champagne. I really got to find some way to market to rich people - Top 10 Conservative Idiots: gold covered, epic comedy news! Only $40,000 bucks a seat! Come on down to the UCB Theater in Hollywood today! We are elite! OK maybe I need to get a better advertising angle here. But let's go through the tab - he ran through 40 bottles of his "Ace Of Spades" champagne - which totaled $91,000. He even had a $50,000 bottle of Ace Of Spades Rose. Damn, that must have been one hell of a hangover the next morning! And speaking of celebrities and booze, one of our favorites - Ryan Reynolds - bought a gin company. Which is why I'm now extremely proud to introduce to you our own brand of Top 10 Conservative Idiots fortified wine! Yes, it's slightly cheaper than Thunderbird - and in fact we use the same bottle - and it will still get you a good buzz on while you wade through our madness of making fun of Trump and the Christian right every week! And we will sell it at Trump properties, by the way! In fact I have a bottle in front of me right now. Mmmmmmmmm... it's making my eyes water. Why I do believe it tastes like pure gasoline. Maybe slightly better than that. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he tears down Trump’s international relations:

Sigh… another week, another mass shooting. I hate to keep talking about guns but as long as they’re in the news, we got to. In the first slot is “Gun Nut Apologists”, and rather than our usual nonsense, we’re going to switch things up and play a game of Gun Nut Bingo! Taking the second slot is the NRA and yes they’ve finally gone off the deep end this week. Meanwhile in Washington, that guy who we still call president Donald J. Trump (3), spent his President’s Day weekend by trashing Hillary and literally politicizing a tragedy. In the fourth slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (4). So while he was having a bad week – possibly his worst yet so far – Mueller laid the smack down and indicted a bunch of Russian nationalists! The plot is thickening, folks! Taking the fifth slot this week is our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (5). And this week, Pastor Initech is going to show you all the ways that the Christian right is reacting to the Florida shooting, and it will make your blood boil. In the sixth slot is a new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates”. This week – it turns out the paranoid are going to be right and your phone might actually be spying on you! At number 7, we have a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week we’re going to talk about Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached, Jerome Corsi (7). At number 8 is also in the realm of Infowars and that is our old buddy Alex Jones (8). See if you can guess how Alex reacted to the Florida shooting, and the answer might shock you! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink”, and this week we’re going to get drunk and talk about a potentially epic crisis brewing affecting our good friends across the pond! Finally this week we’ve got the next to last installment of our Shithole World Tour 2018 and this is going to be a fun one as we’re going to be, as the Beatles would say – back in the USSR! Yes, we’re going to put Putin’s home country through our World Tour filter! Plus continuing our month long Black History Month celebration, we’ve got some live music for you from the one, the only Future! Yes, we’ve got the ATL representing this week! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

Sigh………. Another week, another mass shooting. And the same bullshit about guns has been recycled so much that it’s become mulch at this point. But you know what? Fuck it. This week we’re going to do something a bit different. I hope that everyone got their BINGO cards that were being passed out at the door as you walk into the theater. And for those of you playing at home here’s the game that we will be using:

That comes courtesy of Mother Jones. So with that in mind, we’re going to get interactive here on the Top 10 and a game of Gun Nut Bingo going. Unfortunately I do not have any Top 10 swag to give away but the winner will get the smug sense of self satisfaction knowing they are smarter than your average gun nut! So what’s behind door #1?

Right-wing radio host, commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root complained on his radio show last night that while yesterday’s deadly mass shooting at a high school in Florida was tragic, the media was spending too much time covering it and ignoring the much more important story of a New York real estate developer who was fined millions of dollars for destroying graffiti on his property..


OK so who had… “N - politicizing a tragedy”? Everyone? Woohoo!!! Free space achieved! What’s next on the agenda? I know!

AWR Hawkins, a Second Amendment columnist for Breitbart News, told senior editor-at-large Rebecca Mansour that there was “simply not one” law that could have prevented or “even lessened the chance” of a mass shooting like yesterday’s Florida school shooting that killed 17 people.

Last night on “Breitbart News Tonight,” Hawkins shared his reaction to news that a 19-year-old man had entered a Florida high school yesterday and activated a fire alarm with the intention of shooting and killing as many people as possible. Breitbart hosts leveraged the fact the shooter had been expelled from the high school once for disciplinary problems in an attempt to absolve the gun lobby of responsibility for yet another mass shooting.

“I’ve watched and listened to the calls for gun control already and I’ve listened to those things and you take what you describe, and you take this scenario, and you have a student who had already been expelled so he’s not to be near the school or anything,” Hawkins said. “I can’t think of a gun control law that would have stopped this, and I’ve really tried to think of that today.”

OK now things are getting interesting! Who had “G - Legal argument from someone not smart enough to get into law school”? All right excellent! Now we’re getting somewhere! What’s behind door #3?

Three students at three separate high schools in North Texas were arrested for bringing guns to school the day after the deadly Parkland, Florida massacre that left at least 17 people dead.

The Dallas Morning News reported that students at North Texas’ Marcus, Plano West and South Garland high schools brought the firearms, and all three may face felony charges.

A 16-year-old at Marcus High in Flower Mound, TX was found with “an unloaded, small-caliber handgun and ammunition,” the Morning News reported. The South Garland student had an unloaded handgun, and the Plano West student also had a handgun.

None of the firearms were discharged, and there were no injuries after students reported all three students to their schools’ Crime Stoppers programs.

Hey, Nana is a bad ass, guys! Nana don’t take no shit! And she has zero fucks left to give! OK so who had… “O – Threat to kill you”? I’m getting… you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, and you sir? Great! Now what’s behind door #4?

Fox News host Brian Kilmeade argued on Monday that the way to prevent school shootings was for the Department of Education to be more like the Transportation and Security Agency (TSA), which is tasked with keeping firearms out of airports.

During a discussion about the Parkland school shooting on Fox & Friends, co-host Steve Doocy said that the lesson from the incident was that “unstable people should not have access to guns.”

“Something needs to happen from both sides to prevent bad people from doing bad things,” he remarked. “Who knows? Maybe something will be done to federal background checks because the way it’s working right now ain’t working.”

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt asserted that there needs to more armed security in schools.

Well fucking duh! Of course it ain’t working! But having a TSA everywhere definitely isn’t going to solve this shit! So who had… “B – A good guy with a gun could stop a bad guy with a gun”? You, you, you, you, you, you, and you! You ma’am? Great! Now what’s next?

Infowars-affiliated “investigative journalist” Laura Loomer has traveled to the site of last week’s mass shooting at a Florida high school, apparently trying to recreate her disinformation and conspiracy theory-filled “coverage” of the aftermath of the mass shooting in Las Vegas last year.

Loomer has been increasingly desperate for validation from her conservative media counterparts after her anti-Muslim Twitter meltdown and her effort to portray the FBI’s investigation into the Las Vegas mass shooting as a government cover-up caused some to distance themselves. So last week, when Infowars rolled out a combination of conspiracy theories about the Florida shooting, claiming that globalists ordered the shooting to cover up the FISA memo and insisting that the shooting was the “perfect false flag,” it provided an opportunity for Loomer to once again appear on the scene of a mass shooting and pull her signature stunt of harassing public officials with conspiracy theory nonsense.

On Saturday, Loomer landed in Florida and quickly got to work on behalf of Infowars, an outlet that holds to this day that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax. In a video uploaded yesterday for Infowars, Loomer shouted down Democratic Congressman Tom Deutch. On camera, Deutch told Loomer if she had “any respect for the human lives that were lost in my district” that she “wouldn’t come here” and that he would “never give an interview” to Infowars.

Yes, Laura, are you proud of yourself? So who had… “I – Guns don’t have minds of their own, you can’t blame them”? You, you, you, you, you, you, sir, and you ma’am. And then what’s behind this door? Ah, Fox News fans of course!

Fox News fans are sick and tired of seeing students at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School call for stronger gun laws.

In response to a Fox News tweet about students in Parkland, Florida rallying to demand change to gun laws in the United States, many pro-gun Fox fans lashed out at the students and said they didn’t know what they were talking about when it comes to guns, despite the fact that a gunman last week murdered 17 of their classmates with an AR-15-style rifle.

One of the most common themes among the Fox fans was that the students were being paid by a shadowy left-wing donor to speak out, while other commenters accused the students of swallowing too many Tide Pods.

Check out the angriest reactions below.

BINGO!!!!! Who had “I – you don’t understand my lifestyle”? Come on up here, sir, ma’am! You win our first ever Gun Nut Bingo!!! Bravo, take a bow!!!

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[font size="8"]The NRA
[br] [/font]

Whew!!! That was fun everybody! Now back to serious shit. Yeah it sucks. Yeah it sucks to become numb to this fucking bullshit. God damn the NRA. It’s like when something like this happens, I almost don’t want to do a Top 10. But I remember the original Top 10 happened in response so I could trash the NRA’s response to multiple mass shootings. It’s been 2 fucking years!!! And nothing has changed. Not a god damn thing. And it doesn’t help that we have Orange Douche in the White House. It sucks that we live in an America where this happens!

LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — A Kansas congressional hopeful does not plan to stop a raffle for an AR-15 rifle, even though it’s the type of weapon authorities said was used in the mass shooting at a Florida high school.

Republican Tyler Tannahill, a candidate in Kansas’ 2nd Congressional District, announced the raffle to support his campaign on Tuesday, a day before 17 people were killed in the Florida shooting. He told the Kansas City Star hours after the shooting that the raffle would continue, noting it was planned a month ago to coincide with the Kansas Republican Convention this weekend in Wichita.

Tannahill, a Marine veteran from Leavenworth, is among several people in the GOP primary race to replace US Rep. Lynn Jenkins, who is not seeking re-election. He said the raffle was intended to show his support for the Second Amendment.

Yes, you’re definitely not helping. Wait, sir, we’re not playing Bingo anymore. But I would have accepted “B – Second Amendment!!!1!1” for this story! And he’s not the only one! Remember back in the first season of the Top 10 about an AR-15 raffle (see: Idiots #31 )? Well this isn’t the first time. This country has a gun addiction. And then this happens in Missouri! Well, it’s Missouri.

Third-graders in a Missouri community are continuing to sell raffle tickets for an AR-15 to benefit their traveling baseball team after the same type of rifle was used to slaughter and injure dozens at a Florida school.

Levi Patterson, the coach of a 9-and-under baseball team in Neosho, Mo., told The Star the idea was conceived before the shooting in Parkland, Fla. A father of one of the players — who co-founded Black Rain Ordnance Inc., a weapons purveyor in Neosho — offered the weapon for the raffle.

Patterson said by phone Saturday that he considered finding a different raffle item after Wednesday’s mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, but ultimately decided to “turn it into a positive thing” after “getting the hate.”

“One of the people from the hate group turned in (a Facebook post about the raffle) for I don’t know what,” Patterson said. The post had shown a weapon next to the school logo, leading to fierce criticism by some until Facebook removed the post, according to Patterson.


How do you make fun of this shit? I mean I could joke “if only there were a good guy with a baseball bat present”, but you really can’t do that. And you can’t blame Tide Pods for this like that one asshole did earlier. The only thing to blame is the gun, and people using it. Would you be surprised that Florida’s own governor got an A+ rating from the NRA?

As a candidate for re-election four years ago, Florida Gov. Rick Scott won an A+ rating from the National Rifle Association for his record on guns.

A 2014 mailer from NRA's national headquarters told Florida voters that "Scott will stop the gun control extremists from pushing their agenda to restrict your rights in Florida."

Only Scott "will protect your rights from the Obama/(Michael) Bloomberg gun control agenda," said the mailer, which featured a photo of a smiling Scott and a big "A+."

That June, Scott signed five pro-gun bills into law in what the NRA called historic.

One bill fast-tracked applications for concealed weapons licenses; another, the so-called "Pop-Tart" bill, protected students from being punished if they fashioned pastry or other foods into fake weapons, "to avoid traumatizing innocent children," the NRA's mailer said.

This guy even allows fake guns to be protected! Yes, it’s OK to make a gun out of a Pop Tart, it’s legal in Florida! But there is some good news to come out of the shooting is that they pissed off the wrong students! I am loving the reaction to the NRA from these kids.

A student who survived the Florida school shooting on Monday shared a message for the National Rifle Association (NRA), calling for it to "disband."

During an interview on CNN, students were asked what they would say to the NRA.

"Disband, dismantle ... don't make another organization under a different name. Don't you dare come back here," Emma Gonzalez said on CNN.

"The fact that you were in power for so long and that you had so much influence for so long in America just goes to show how much time and effort we still need to spend on fixing our country."

And did anyone see that movie 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri? This movie centers around a real life murder. And someone decided to recreate this last weekend. Let’s call it “3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida”. :

The placards take inspiration from the Academy Award-nominated film "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" about a mother who uses roadside advertisements to criticize local authorities' handling of her daughter's brutal rape and murder.

Global activist group Avaaz is behind the protest intended to criticize Florida's "notoriously lax gun laws" and Rubio's response to the Thursday shooting at a school in Broward County, Fl., the organization said in a press release. Avaaz cited widely circulated figures that claim Rubio has accepted $3.3 million in donations from the N.R.A. SFGATE has not independently verified those numbers.

Rubio said Thursday that gun control laws would not have prevented the mass shooting.

Oh and by the way, if this doesn’t make your blood boil, nothing will!

Shares of gun manufacturer American Outdoor Brands, the parent company of Smith & Wesson, closed higher on Thursday following the tragic shooting at a high school in Florida.

The company's stock rose 1.2 percent and rose as much as 4.5 percent. Sturm Ruger briefly gained 2.8 percent before closing 0.2 percent lower.

The Broward County Sheriff's Office said 17 people were gunned down Wednesday at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The shooter, identified as 19-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz, was booked on 17 counts of premeditated murder Thursday. He allegedly used an AR-15 assault rifle in the rampage.

Shares of Sturm Ruger and American Outdoor Brands rallied Wednesday afternoon as news of the shooting spread. The stocks closed Wednesday 2.8 percent and 5.6 percent higher, respectively.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And then of course Trump’s idiot son Qusay certainly didn’t help things in regard to the Florida shooting:

Donald Trump Jr. touted a post on a fringe, right-wing conspiracy website early Tuesday morning that slammed a high school student and survivor of the Florida school shooting — even suggesting the teen is an FBI plant.

The president’s adult son, who spends so much time on Twitter it is astounding he’s able to keep the Trump Organization afloat, liked a tweet from website TruePundit.com early Tuesday morning, which linked to an article bearing the headline: “VIDEO: Outspoken Trump-Hating School Shooting Survivor is Son of FBI Agent; MSM Helps Prop Up Incompetent Bureau.”

The story bashes David Hogg, a student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, where a gunman opened fire last week, killing 17.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

You know what people? Let’s lighten up. This is a comedy show. Let’s do comedy things. This is the 45th president of the United States in a nutshell. Hey, Trump! You’re the president! Be presidential! Lead your country in a time of national tragedy! Oh fuck it, who am I kidding? This is the 45th president of the United States we’re talking about here, would you expect that from him at this point? So this was his agenda last Saturday.

President Donald Trump met with survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school shooting on Friday, before heading to his Mar-a-Lago resort for a disco-themed party.

Trump met with survivors of Wednesday’s mass shooting at Broward Health North hospital in Pompano Beach with his wife Melania. They also stopped at the Broward County Sheriff’s Office.

“I did indeed,” Trump told reporters when asked if he met with any of the seven victims hospitalized. “It’s very sad that something like that could happen.”

CNN’s Kevin Liptak reported that after the hospital visit, Trump attended a Studio 54-themed party at Mar-a-Lago:

I'm not sure what's more horrifying - Trump using the victims of the Parkland shooting for a photo op, or the thought of him dancing to "Hot Stuff"? And I mean take it from astronaut Mark Whatney – that’s the least disco song there is! So that happened. And how did Trump respond to the Florida shooting? Well in the most Donald J. Trump way possible. Can we throw that tweet up there?


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So that’s how Trump responds – by attacking the FBI for not doing enough!

Washington (CNN)Students who survived the Parkland, Florida, shooting laid into President Donald Trump after he linked the FBI's failure to follow up on a report about the school shooter and the resources expended on the Russia investigation.
On Saturday, Trump tweeted, "Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!"
The President's tweet caused considerable outrage online, including among apparent survivors of the shooting:
"17 of my classmates are gone. That's 17 futures, 17 children, and 17 friends stolen. But you're right, it always has to be about you. How silly of me to forget. #neveragain"

That was just about the least presidential way Trump could act. And I mean would you expect anything less from him at this point? I know I wouldn’t . After all he’s the president who gave us this:


Which leads me into how he celebrated President’s Day – which as you know is our new national day of mourning when we used to have competent leaders. I miss those times.

Donald Trump didn’t have any control over the decision by Russia’s Internet Research Agency to mount what it called “information warfare against the United States of America.” As the indictment released on Friday stated, the effort began in 2014, long before Trump was a declared candidate—much less a serious one—for office.

But by refusing to take information warfare seriously—in an attempt to distance himself from it and any questions it might raise about the legitimacy of his election—the president has paradoxically made the story about himself again and again.

This solipsism was on display Saturday and Sunday morning, as Trump, at Mar-a-Lago and far from the strictures and structures of the White House, unleashed his most aggressive and scattered tweetstorm in some time. In theory, the things he said were designed to push the story away from himself and downplay any connection. In practice, he forced himself into the middle of the story, inextricably linking himself to it.

Yeah as my British friends would say – bugger off! I mean Trump’s tweets are so bad that the rest of the world is literally telling its’ leaders to ignore them:

President Donald Trump’s tweets not only trigger worries at home. They rattle leaders around the world.

But U.S. officials reportedly tried to reassure global policy representatives at an international conference in Germany over the weekend, urging them to pay no attention to the president’s Twitter rants.

The U.S. actually is angry with the Kremlin over interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election, despite Trump’s Twitter denials, American politicians and officials told foreign policy leaders in Munich, The Washington Post reported. America also remains firmly committed to Europe. And, to be clear, the U.S. doesn’t plan on dropping a nuclear bomb on North Korea, the U.S. leaders said.

“The values are the same, the relationships are the same,” insisted Rep. Michael Turner (R-Ohio), the Post reported.

German Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel said Saturday he no idea how to judge U.S. intentions. “Is it deeds? Is it words? Is it tweets?” he asked.

The disconnect between Trump’s tweets and U.S. government leaders often has been apparent.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/u-officials-tell-world-leaders-123104774.html

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br] ]

President’s Day. That day where you remember presidents by getting great discounts on mattresses and appliances. Well, when we used to have competent presidents anyways. And now we’re stuck with the asshole we currently call “president”. The division in this country right now is so deep that there’s actually a dating website for Trump supporters. And would you be surprised that the featured user has a sex offender conviction? Well, neither are we!

In the last few days, you might’ve heard about Trump.dating, the new straight-people-only online service to help out Donald Trump fans who are single and ready to mingle. For the last few days, the site prominently featured the North Carolina conservative activists you see in the picture above: William Barrett Riddleberger and his wife Jodi Riddleberger.

However, the site has a new featured couple now, and that may or may not have something to do with the fact that Mr. Riddleberger is a convicted felon.

WRAL News reported that Mr. Riddleberger’s state records show he was charged in 1995 for videotaping himself having sex with a 15-year-old girl. Riddleberger was 25 at the time, and he was convicted of taking indecent liberties with a child.

So that happened! While on the subject of President’s Day, remember when presidents used to do presidential things like address the nation with uplifting and inspiring messages in times of crisis? Yeah those were good times, and instead we get this:


Yup – blame the other guy for not doing anything. And let’s face it – it is Donald J. Trump we’re talking about here, would you expect anything less? I wouldn’t. So here’s what he was referring to – on Friday Mueller laid the smack down!

Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his prosecutors haven’t concluded their investigation into whether President Donald Trump or any of his associates helped Russia interfere in the 2016 election, according to a person with knowledge of the probe.

Friday’s indictment of a St. Petersburg-based “troll farm” and 13 Russian nationals should be seen as a limited slice of a comprehensive investigation, the person said. Mueller’s work is expected to continue for months and also includes examining potential obstruction of justice by Trump, said the person, who requested anonymity to discuss an investigation that is largely confidential.

A federal grand jury indicted the Russians for what it alleged was a vast scheme to interfere in the 2016 election and help Trump win. But Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein said at a news conference Friday that there is “no allegation in this indictment that any American was a knowing participant” in the alleged scheme.

Trump indicated that he believes the indictment exonerates him and his campaign.

Read more: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-02-16/mueller-is-said-to-still-be-investigating-collusion-with-russia

But of course Trump immediately goes to “no collusion”. It’s like he’s a parrot. Wait! Our emotional support parrot Trumpy is here and he’s learned a new phrase!

Yay Trumpy!!! And give it up for Trumpy’s trainer everybody! So Trump is desperate and he’s reaching new levels of evil. But there’s another angle in Mueller’s investigation – a company calling itself the “Internet Research Agency” is something he is looking at.

Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller prefers to let his work do the talking for him. On Friday, he delivered a stemwinder.

Thirteen Russians and three Russian entities were indicted by a federal grand jury in connection with the attack on the 2016 election. The indictment lays out a number of detailed allegations against the Internet Research Agency located in St. Petersburg and against individuals who owned, controlled, funded or worked for the organization.

Much of what Mueller's office charges — that influence-mongers used Facebook and Twitter to turn up the volume and pit American against American — was already public. But the 37-page indictment also includes a number of fascinating new insights.


Damn straight!!! And come on, there’s no good organizations that have the letters “IRA” as its’ initials right? But the noose is tightening on Trump and his election stealing shenanigans. He’s also taking a look at Jared Kushner again:

Washington (CNN)Special counsel Robert Mueller's interest in Jared Kushner has expanded beyond his contacts with Russia and now includes his efforts to secure financing for his company from foreign investors during the presidential transition, according to people familiar with the inquiry.

This is the first indication that Mueller is exploring Kushner's discussions with potential non-Russian foreign investors, including in China.

US officials briefed on the probe had told CNN in May that points of focus related to Kushner, the White House senior adviser and son-in-law of President Donald Trump, included the Trump campaign's 2016 data analytics operation, his relationship with former national security adviser Michael Flynn, and Kushner's own contacts with Russians.

Mueller's investigators have been asking questions, including during interviews in January and February, about Kushner's conversations during the transition to shore up financing for 666 Fifth Avenue, a Kushner Companies-backed New York City office building reeling from financial troubles, according to people familiar with the special counsel investigation.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/19/politics/mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts/index.html?sr=twCNN021918mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts0402PMVODtop

Tastes great and less filling! And Kushner isn’t the only one – Manafort is also on Mueller’s radar for pulling some insane bank fraud:

Special counsel Robert Mueller’s office has told a federal judge it has found evidence that Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman, committed bank fraud not addressed by the indictment last October in which he was charged with money laundering and failure to register as a foreign agent.

As legal wrangling continues over a $10 million bail package for Manafort, prosecutors this week accused him of submitting false information to a bank in connection with one of his mortgages.

“The proposed package is deficient in the government’s view, in light of additional criminal conduct that we have learned since the Court’s initial bail determination,” prosecutors wrote in a court filing submitted on Tuesday and made public in a redacted form on Friday evening. “That criminal conduct includes a series of bank frauds and bank fraud conspiracies.”

No criminal charges are known to have been filed over the alleged fraud, and Mueller’s office does not say in the filing whether it intends to bring any.

Read more: https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/16/mueller-manafort-bank-fraud-accusations-416509

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes friends! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

Unfortunately this last week is yet another week that ended in tragedy. Although unlike our current president, I will make the most of trying to comfort in this time of need. But not before trashing our brothers and sisters in the Christian right, for their behavior is inexcusable in the eyes of our almighty creator! Like for instance, take this man, Carl Gallup!

Carl Gallups, a right-wing pastor and conspiracy theorist who spoke at Trump campaign rallies in 2016, appeared on TheDove TV’s “Focus Today” program yesterday to discuss the mass shooting at a Florida high school earlier this week, which he said was part of a demonic attack aimed at weakening America through gun control in preparation for the rise of the Antichrist.

“This has it’s origins in the spiritual realms,” he said. “There is a concerted demonic attempt to undermine the United States of America, to bring it down, to destroy the most precious among us. Why is that such a demonic attempt? Because we know the scriptures say that there will arise a generation that will see this Antichrist system, this one-world order … The bottom line is we are headed that way.”

“The United States is the largest Christian nation the planet has ever seen,” Gallups continued. “It’s the number one military superpower, it’s the number one economic superpower and so there is a demonic attempt to destroy it, to bring it down, to break the culture into some kind of submission. One of those ways is to take away our ability to defend ourselves, so every time something like this happens, the leftists start screaming—you can almost hear it from the pits of hell—’Take away all the guns, take away all the guns.’ That’s not the solution and we all know it’s not and we know why, but we hear that, so this is very spiritual, it’s very deep, it’s very dark.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So apparently the banning of guns will lead to the anti-Christ! I mean really, isn’t killing people one of the original SINS!!! And it is most definitely a sin in the eyes of our Lord JAYSUS! Can I get an amen???? But there apparently be no greater SIN than the SIN of not being masculine enough, because if there's one thing that the Christian right loves, it's the Rambo franchise!

Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire has been anything but shy about criticizing the male students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, for not acting like “real men” and tackling a shooter who opened fire on the school last week with an assault rifle, killing 12 students and five faculty members.

Daubenmire returned to this theme on his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, fuming that male students today are not being taught the virtues and responsibilities of masculinity.

“This will sound horrible, but I have to say it,” Daubenmire stated. “Instead of the aftermath of these shootings in Florida being, ‘Hey, dude,’ where young guys are saying to each other, ‘I’m gonna learn to fire a gun, I ain’t ever gonna let this happen again, I’m gonna learn to fire a gun,’ instead the reaction is, ‘Oh, please take the guns away.’ The exact opposite message! Meet power with power! That’s manhood, masculinity!

“We don’t even teach it, we have no concept of it,” Daubenmire lamented, adding that “guys like us who really get it” are ridiculed by people like Howard Stern and organizations like Right Wing Watch.

“Most guys don’t have the stones to stand up and say, ‘I don’t care what you say!'” Daubenmire screamed. “‘It don’t bother me! Here’s what I think! Suck on that one, bud!'”

After Daubenmire fumed that the fear of offending others is “so womanly,” one of the participants in the livestream piped up to share his theory that most men today display a lack masculinity because “they just want to sleep with the women.”

“Boys, your life would be a lot easier if you’d quit letting your peter rule your life,” stated Daubenmire. “I shouldn’t have said that either, and I’m not sorry.”

Yes, David, run into the gun fire! What a great idea! What could possibly go wrong? But of course I now ask my fair congregation – you know why the demons with guns are let loose in the school system? You know why? Take a guess!

Right-wing pastor Rick Joyner posted a video on Facebook today in which he blamed yesterday’s mass shooting at a high school in Florida on the removal of prayer from public schools and declared that only the church is equipped to close the “gate of hell” and make this nation “completely free” of these kinds of attacks.

“There is good spiritual evidence that the Columbine shooting in Colorado years ago opened a gate of hell into our country,” he said. “Gates of hell are access points, they are doorways through which hell gains access to our lives, our families, our churches, our communities. In this case, I think it has been the whole country … When there has been a breakthrough of hell into society, only the church has the spiritual authority to shut that gate of hell.”

“When prayer was removed from our schools, I believe that was the beginning of the gate of hell, many gates of hell, that are destroying our youth, our families,” Joyner continued. “That had provided a hedge of protection for our students … When prayer was removed from school, we basically said, ‘God, we don’t want you in our schools.’ He said, ‘OK.'”

Really guys? Our JAYSUS wouldn’t do that! Because our god is a just and loving god and he punishes all sinners. It sayeth so in the Good Book! Can I get an amen??? But apparently this mass of murders happened because we liberals don’t worship JAYSUS enough! And blasphemy is a sin in our Good Book!

Gateway Pundit’s White House correspondent Lucian Wintrich blamed yesterday’s school shooting that killed 17 people in Florida on liberals who have “demonized” the church in favor of “fringe ways of thinking.”

Wintrich appeared yesterday alongside his co-host Ali Akbar, an activist within the self-labeled “New Right” movement, for an episode of “Wintrich Report” dedicated to the school shooting in Florida earlier that day, Akbar’s conversation with Twitter’s CEO about alleged censorship of conservatives, and a careless reporting error Wintrich made earlier that evening. While discussing the shooting, Akbar said that the mass shooting was a sign that “something is wrong in society,” which prompted Wintrich to launch into a tangent about the church.

“Part of it is the lack of community and the lack of the role of the church in modern American society. And I think that the way the left has disparaged that, what they’ve done—and it infuriates me what the left has done these days—is they have demonized Christianity, the church, Jesus Christ, who if you read his teachings, right, it was ‘We’re all brothers. Look out for one another.’ The left has demonized that and then propelled these fringe ways of thinking,” Wintrich said.

Wait until he sees this program! And no, dipshit we’re just demonizing *YOU*. So get over it and move on. For the good LAWRD sayeth “He who doth commit the sin of lying must be punished, for it is the most egregious of sins!!!” it sayeth so in the good book of Blame 6. Yes, our book has both 69 and 420 in it! We are encouraged to do both! But before we go this week, keep this in mind as you celebrate President’s Day – Trump has made America say “Merry Christmas” again! That’s how you spit in the face of tragedy!

Religious Right political operative Ralph Reed urged supporters of his Faith and Freedom Coalition to mark Presidents’ Day by “thanking President Trump for all he’s done for our nation and for the American people.”

Reed’s email gushed that Trump “has proven, time and time again, that he’s a fearless champion for conservative values,” praising Trump’s support for the Republican tax bill and his administration’s zeal in rolling back regulations.

Reed praised Trump as “a tireless advocate for Christian values,” writing, “From the onset, President Trump promised to make America say ‘Merry Christmas’ again—and fight back against anti-Christian bigotry.” Reed also celebrated Trump for addressing the anti-abortion-rights March for Life and supporting legislation to ban abortions after 20 weeks.

Yes and the LAWRD was truly speechless on this one! Now go forth with the knowledge of how the religious handle tragedies! Next week we will show you how they bend thy rules. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! Or pieces depending on if your church supports thy shotgun or not! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Smart Device Spying
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We now present to you the best in text-based armchair investigative journalism. It’s now time for a new installment of:

Smartphones. You have one. At times they are the best invention of the modern era, and at times they are also the worst invention of the modern era. And for those of you lucky enough to be able to afford and use a current Android or iOS device, you most likely don’t have to worry about this next subject. But for those of you who can’t afford one, you most likely have a phone from Chinese budget brands Huawei and ZTE.

Six top U.S. intelligence chiefs told the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday they would not advise Americans to use products or services from Chinese smartphone maker Huawei.

The six — including the heads of the CIA, FBI, NSA and the director of national intelligence — first expressed their distrust of Apple-rival Huawei and fellow Chinese telecom company ZTE in reference to public servants and state agencies.

When prompted during the hearing, all six indicated they would not recommend private citizens use products from the Chinese companies.

"We're deeply concerned about the risks of allowing any company or entity that is beholden to foreign governments that don't share our values to gain positions of power inside our telecommunications networks," FBI Director Chris Wray testified.

"That provides the capacity to exert pressure or control over our telecommunications infrastructure," Wray said. "It provides the capacity to maliciously modify or steal information. And it provides the capacity to conduct undetected espionage."

But for the truly paranoid it might not be just limited to those brands. In fact you may have one of those smart devices in your home from Google, Amazon, and now Apple. There’s even another method to their madness, and sometimes the truly paranoid might actually be right!

In December, I converted my one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco into a “smart home.” I connected as many of my appliances and belongings as I could to the internet: an Amazon Echo, my lights, my coffee maker, my baby monitor, my kid’s toys, my vacuum, my TV, my toothbrush, a photo frame, a sex toy, and even my bed.

“Our bed?” asked my husband, aghast. “What can it tell us?”

“Our breathing rate, heart rate, how often we toss and turn, and then it will give us a sleep report each morning,” I explained.

“Sounds creepy,” he said, as he plopped down on that bed, not bothered enough to relax instead on our non-internet-connected couch.

I soon discovered that the only thing worse than getting a bad night’s sleep is to subsequently get a report from my bed telling me I got a low score and “missed my sleep goal.” Thanks, smart bed, but I know that already. I feel like shit.

Yes, WTF LOL indeed. So keep this in mind the next time you’re looking for a bargain based smartphone or any smart device. But it’s not just limited to Huawei and ZTE phones. In fact all of your phones and devices might be spying on you.

Consider everything your smartphone has done for you today. Counted your steps? Deposited a check? Transcribed notes? Navigated you somewhere new?

Smartphones make for such versatile pocket assistants because they’re equipped with a suite of sensors, including some we may never think — or even know — about, sensing, for example, light, humidity, pressure and temperature.

Because smartphones have become essential companions, those sensors probably stayed close by throughout your day: the car cup holder, your desk, the dinner table and nightstand. If you’re like the vast majority of American smartphone users, the phone’s screen may have been black, but the device was probably on the whole time.

“Sensors are finding their ways into every corner of our lives,” says Maryam Mehrnezhad, a computer scientist at Newcastle University in England. That’s a good thing when phones are using their observational dexterity to do our bidding. But the plethora of highly personal information that smartphones are privy to also makes them powerful potential spies.

That’s probably the only safe way to talk on the phone these days. Who needs spies when you have smart devices? But it might not just be your smartphone – it might be other smart devices! Your vacuum cleaner!

“Consumers need to be aware of these features and aware of the possibilities that can happen with those features installed on their devices,” said technology expert Burton Kelso.

Kelso said it’s just one more “smart device” that is collecting information about you.

“That will target you with ads that are geared towards your lifestyle or your house size. But at this base, it’s really designed to help the Roomba do a better job of vacuuming,” Kelso said.

iRobot is conscious of the security and privacy concerns that the new camera and connectivity may introduce.

“Right now, the information Roomba collects enables it to effectively clean the home and provides customers with information about cleaning performances. iRobot believes that in the future, this information could provide even more value for our customers by enabling the smart home and the devices within it to work better, but always with their explicit consent,” said a representative from iRobot.

Yes, it does seem a little crazy indeed. How about your smart medical devices?

Abilify is the first FDA-approved pill with a tracking mechanism, but it's hardly the first medical entry in the Internet of Things. Medical devices such as insulin pumps, pacemakers, and CPAP breathing devices can all be enabled to report data back to users and medical professionals alike. Given the high-stakes nature of the first two, where insulin use and regulating heartbeats can literally be life-saving, these technological changes make sense on the surface. There have been some problems, though. First, all Internet-enabled tech can be hacked. Last fall, the FDA recalled 500,000 Internet-connected pacemakers over security concerns. Medical device giant Johnson & Johnson warned consumers that its insulin pumps could be hacked. The idea of someone turning off your heart by hacking is the scary stuff of science fiction, and might well be a real threat.

Yes, probably. What about your TV?

Consumer Reports has found that millions of smart TVs can be controlled by hackers exploiting easy-to-find security flaws.

The problems affect Samsung televisions, along with models made by TCL and other brands that use the Roku TV smart-TV platform, as well as streaming devices such as the Roku Ultra.

We found that a relatively unsophisticated hacker could change channels, play offensive content, or crank up the volume, which might be deeply unsettling to someone who didn’t understand what was happening. This could be done over the web, from thousands of miles away. (These vulnerabilities would not allow a hacker to spy on the user or steal information.)

Again, yes, probably. But while we are pointing out security devices in all the smart products you own, we should point out that the beef between the US government and Huawei might have an ulterior motive.

Huawei is the third largest smartphone manufacturer in the world behind Samsung and Apple. It is also the ninth largest technology company (by revenue) worldwide with 180,000 employees and an average annual revenue of $78.8 billion. In other words, Huawei is as "big" a company as Microsoft. That's good news for Huawei, and usually seeing a company move up the ladder to challenge the market leaders is good for consumers, too. Officially, Huawei is a subsidiary of Huawei Investment & Holding Co., Ltd. in Shenzhen, China and that's where the real issues the U.S. has with Huawei start.

Unofficially, everyone thinks the Chinese government is in control of Huawei. While I'm not an expert on foreign affairs or the history of the Chinese Communist Party, I am smart enough to know that the Chinese state surely does have a financial interest in one of the biggest companies inside its border. The chance that the state has a controlling interest in Huawei doesn't surprise me, either. There has been no evidence offered, and not surprisingly there isn't much on the public record to clear things up, so we have to assume that it could be true. Intelligence agencies, as well as economic agencies and trade officials, have a problem with this. A big problem for several key reasons.

There you have it. The US government’s beef with Huawei is based on an urban legend. But that doesn’t excuse the spying. Until next time, that is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Jerome Corsi
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It’s now time for:

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” award goes to Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head, Jerome Corsi. You might know Corsi best for appearing along side Alex Jones and saying things more batshit than he does! In case you’re wondering about the kind of Grade A, USDA certified bullshit that Corsi puts out on a daily basis, here’s some of his greatest hits. And this is just for the last couple of weeks!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, has recently dedicated himself to decoding the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known as “QAnon” and their supposed relevance to the fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that the special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Over the weekend, Corsi posted a video in which he claimed that the recent disappearance of Sean Hannity’s Twitter account was the work of the “deep state,” which was trying to conceal a coded message that Hannity was sending that would have revealed that Trump is about to launch a “counterattack” against those who have been working to undermine his presidency.

On Sunday, Hannity’s Twitter account sent out a mysterious message that said simply “Form Submission 1649” before the account disappeared. It was restored a few hours later, but Corsi, relying on posts from QAnon, said that Hannity’s final message actually carried a secret message.

“What 1649 is, that is the year in which Charles I in Great Britain was beheaded in a treasonous plot,” Corsi said. “Those posts that were coming out from Hannity were suggesting that we are moving into a phase in which it is going to be more clearly said that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were involved in treason.”

So let me get this straight. Hannity is receiving intel from QAnon – an anonymous twitter troll, who then repeats it back on Fox News, and then Hannity says it on air with the hope that Trump is watching and then it shows up in Trump’s daily twitter toilet tantrums. It’s a bullshit to bullshit pipeline! Thank you audience! But that isn’t the only batshit crazy thing Corsi has said lately. Let’s go through some of his greatest hits. I mean come on, Adam Schiff is being targeted because he’s in that super secret pedophile cabal that they’re always talking about. I didn’t know that!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, returned to the “Lionel Nation” program today to discuss his latest effort to “decode” the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q,” which he claimed reveal that Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff may be being blackmailed over alleged involvement in pedophilia.

Corsi has recently dedicated himself full-time to covering the cryptic postings of an anonymous 8Chan forum board poster known as “Q,” whom some right-wing activists believe to be a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even President Trump himself. Q’s posts are at the center of a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Relying on recent posts from Q, Corsi attempted to tie Schiff, the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee and leading critic of a recently released memo regarding surveillance of a Trump campaign adviser, to the sprawling conspiracy theory. Corsi alleged that Schiff had ties to three people who died in a recent helicopter crash, all of whom were “associated with the Standard Hotel, a trendy, gay-friendly hotel located in Schiff’s district in West Hollywood, California.” Offering absolutely no evidence to substantiate anything he said, Corsi reported that “a pedophilia ring” was being run out of this hotel and now “you’ve got Schiff being involved, perhaps, with blackmail, there is possibly pedophilia, all of which has been suggested by QAnon as the subject of research.”

Quick! To the pedo mobile!

Thank you sound effects guy! We can’t make fun of the right wing enough for this shit because they deserve it every time they bring up “rampant pedophilia”. And then there was this.

Last week, Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “Lionel Nation” to discuss his efforts to decode the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q” and their supposed relevance to the coming “storm.”

As we have noted before, Corsi, who was behind the bogus “Swift Boat” attacks on John Kerry and the equally bogus birther attacks on Barack Obama, has recently become obsessed with “The Storm,” a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory alleging that the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Those who traffic in this conspiracy theory rely almost entirely on 8chan forum board posts penned by a figure known only as “Q,” whom they believe is actually a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even Trump himself. The cryptic warnings and messages posted by Q, Corsi stated, are designed to prepare Americans for the horrible truth that is soon to be revealed once Trump unleashes a wave of arrests.

Think of it like playing a really fucked up game of “Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon”. Except there’s just one degree and Kevin Bacon is a satanic pedophile. You know one of these days I want to do an all “THIS IS WHAT INFOWARS REALLY BELIEVES IN” edition. Because they believe in some fucked up shit. Like you know Infowars loves them some false flags. Remember the GOP train attack? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, the crackpot conspiracy theorist who works as a “journalist” for the right-wing website Infowars, participated in a livestream on YouTube this morning in which he asserted that an accident yesterday in which a train carrying dozens of Republican members of Congress collided with a garbage truck was really an ISIS “sleeper cell” attack.

According to Corsi, the government had shut down every road that intersected with the route the train was traveling and that the train itself was being escorted by an Apache attack helicopter, which spotted a truck racing alongside the tracks, accelerating in order to “try to calculate the timing to hit the train” and derail it.

“There were three guys in the cab, we don’t know their names, we don’t know who they were,” Corsi said. “We are getting zero information out about this at all. This was clearly an activating sleeper cells attack that failed, done by amateurs who we are going to later find out probably had affiliation with ISIS or whatever.”

Or how about that Russian plane crash last week? Guess what? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “The Alex Jones Show” yesterday to discuss the crash of an airplane in Russia in which 71 people were killed. Corsi asserted that the crash was really the result of a bomb planted by the CIA to kill executives of the Russian energy corporation Rosatom in order to cover up the Uranium One “scandal.”

Rosatom is at the center of the bogus Uranium One right-wing conspiracy theory and Corsi declared that this plane crash was really “a CIA hit” to kill company executives in order to prevent them from testifying against Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that there is no evidence to support his claim that any executives from Rosatom were even on the plane in question.

“It turns out on the plane crash, there were several executives of Rosatom, which is the Russian energy agency that is involved in the Uranium One deal,” Corsi said. “There were several executives actually on board of this airplane. One of the top ones was a gentleman named Ivanov, who ended up being the CFO of Rosatom. This is the agency that has been involved in the whole Uranium One deal.”

Come on, even Steve Harvey thinks you’re crazy! So we have satanic pedophiles, false flags, and cover ups. That’s Jerome Corsi, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Fuck, just once I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk about Alex Jones and his stupid show. What? I don’t want to! Make me! OK, fine, Carlos. I will. What? You can’t prove it! That’s Carlos, our producer, everybody! Well, anyway, Alex Jones called the latest school shooting a “false flag”. Which should come as a shock to, um, absolutely no one. Especially followers of this program. Aurora? False flag. Sandy Hook? False flag. Orlando? False flag. San Bernardino? False flag. And now Parkland? False flag.

Alex Jones, the nutritional supplement salesman leading Infowars, claimed the school shooting in Florida yesterday proved his prediction that globalists would orchestrate a mass causality after the release of the House Intelligence Committee’s FISA memo

Today on “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones spent much of his time outlining his elaborate multi-shooter, false-flag conspiracy theories about yesterday’s horrific mass murder at a Florida high school.

Jones claimed that he had predicted “more than 10 times on air” that a “new Oklahoma City attack on a church, a school, or a federal building blamed on right-wing terrorists” would happen in the United States after Rep. Adam Schiff warned that releasing Rep. Devin Nunes’ widely hyped (and later panned) memo could pose an increased risk of domestic terrorism in the United States.

Yes he is fucking crazy. Really, Alex? All of these shootings are false flags? Tell me more! Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the most hair-brained thing he’s cooked up lately. He’s in some deep paranoia about the “deep state”.

This afternoon, the Dow Jones industrial average suffered a dramatic drop while President Trump delivered a speech about the economy. Naturally, Infowars conspiracy theorist Alex Jones blamed today’s sudden Dow drop on what he believes is an ongoing war between President Trump and the secret “deep state” society that supposedly controls the nation.

“This is a big, big deal and again, this is economic warfare, undoubtedly, against this president,” Jones said. “They’ve been trying as hard as they can. There he is touring the country, getting thousands of factories back, and now this happens. You better believe something this big is meant to embarrass him on his big economic tour he’s involved in.”

Doug Hagmann, who was sitting in to take over the radio hour, agreed with Jones and claimed the stock market plunge was “blowback by the deep state.”

Normally I don’t like showing the clips but we got to show this one because it’s exquisite:

INVEST IN OUR INFOWARS BRAND TACTICAL CURRENCY! IT NEVER DROPS AND YOU’LL NEVER BE BROKE!!!! We got to keep this operation afloat here people! Well, anyway, back to the Florida shooting, while the rest of America was shocked and horrified at the events of what happened, Alex got a gun and he was showing it off.

InfoWars' Alex Jones (left) and his "snowflake" gun (right). Images via screengrab and Twitter.
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In the midst of a deadly school shooting in Parkland, Florida, InfoWars host Alex Jones tweeted two close-up photos of a gun etched with epithets about “snowflakes,” “unicorns” and “libturds.” It was accompanied only by a heart-eyes emoji.

It took almost no time for Twitter to pick up on the terrible timing of Jones’ post.

“The Sandy Hook truther decided to post some sweet gun pics right in the middle of another school shooting,” journalist Parker Molloy tweeted, referencing Jones’ belief that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 was a “false flag” operation planned by anti-gun government forces.

“What a ghoul,” the journalist added.

Can we show that?


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow, you know Alex, timing is everything, and you lost big time. And he loses even further because this is who he chooses to blame. Yup, it’s us.

It took no time at all for the right to start peddling lies, half-truths, and misinformation in the wake of Wednesday's school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida—a massacre that took the lives of 17 students and adults who had committed the grevious sin of getting up and going to school that day.

Alex Jones, the lead-supplement-pushing conspiracy theorist and professional yeller behind InfoWars, blamed the Democrats.

The Democrats have been caught in false flags before. I'm not saying this is a false flag but they've been talking about massacres and things if people don’t leave them alone, and release the memo. So, if there are massacres and they keep threatening massacres, that makes them suspects when they’ve been threatening massacres. And who what mentally-ill person they’ve wound up or what’s happening or was this gang related. We don’t know. The media will say that I said it’s a false flag and the Democrats did it. I did not say that. We’re simply questioning the long history that these folks have.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

It’s now time for:

Whew, man, I need a drink this week. This week got particularly dark. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with KFC? A Bloody Mary with chicken nuggets? No thanks I think I’ll stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. So this week while Cape Town recently received the alarming news that its’ city only has a finite supply of drinkable water left, our friends in the UK are facing a shortage that’s equally as alarming.

More bad news for KFC fans: A chicken shortage that has closed hundreds of stores in the UK could last all week.

The fast food chain was forced to shut restaurants across the country after a logistics snafu hit chicken deliveries.

As many as 800 of about 900 KFC locations were closed on Monday. Roughly 600 locations remained closed at lunchtime on Tuesday.

"Each day more deliveries are being made, however, we expect the disruption to some restaurants to continue over the remainder of the week, meaning some will be closed and others operating with a reduced menu or shortened hours," a KFC spokesperson said in a statement emailed to CNN.

In a message posted on its UK Twitter account, KFC said "our teams are working round the cluck" to reopen all restaurants.

Damn straight! And I mean come on people it’s fucking KFC! At least in America when we eat shit it’s because it’s late at night, we’re drunk, and that’s usually the last recourse before vomit. But seriously people don’t go and create chaos. That’s what the Joker does!

"The chicken crossed the road, just not to our restaurants," KFC said on Twitter.

"We've brought a new delivery partner onboard, but they've had a couple of teething problems - getting fresh chicken out to 900 restaurants across the country is pretty complex!" it added, apologising to customers for the inconvenience.

"We won't compromise on quality, so no deliveries has meant some of our restaurants are closed, and others are operating a limited menu or shortened hours."

The statement listed KFC restaurants that were still open despite the problems.

The distribution network uses software developed by the firm Quick Service Logistics (QSL).

Well, at least it’s good to know that there’s no shortage of bad puns in the UK. And it’s also good to know that they won’t compromise on quality. But really people don’t get the police involved. They have much more important things to do than to fulfill your cravings for grease.

There was panic on the streets of London as the 'KFC crisis' rolled into its fourth day, with more than half of its 900 UK stores closed due to a chicken shortage.

Frustrated chicken lovers were resorting to calling the police, who warned "fried chicken is not a police matter", as well as contacting their MPs.

Staff keen to get back to work reportedly took matters into their own hands, and KFC told The Telegraph it is "urgently investigating" an incident in Kent, where workers were seen smuggling what looked like meat from the local butcher into the back door of the premises. The chain is also looking into reports that staff members in West London, approached a local butcher to ask for all their chicken stock.

The fried chicken company has said it has strict food safety policies in place, and staff should not be taking chicken from local butchers.

Well the chicken from the local butchers is probably a step up in quality. I mean it’s fucking KFC people! At least in America we know shitty food is shitty food, and you know what? We’ll eat it anyways because that’s what we do here. And you know what? When one place runs out of shitty food we go to the next place that serves shitty food. Because it’s late, we’re hungry, and we don’t give a shit! It’s the American way, damn it! At least in Europe you have the option of eating much better food because they banned high fructose corn syrup. Or maybe not.

People took to social media to vent their frustration at the issue, while some also made light of the supplier problem.

Andrew Penfold said: “I think the Colonel should be demoted to Sergeant.”

Adam Thorpe said: “Bad times for a KFC lover here in sunny Ipswich.”

While Bee Giles tweeted: “Every cloud has a silver lining. Bin those calories.”

Well if there is a plus side there is also no shortage of quality jokes in the UK! And really how much fried chicken can you eat, UK? But for every quality joke there is always a bad pun that comes after it.

The UK is KFC's largest market in Europe, and one of its top five globally.

Franchisees operate 95% of KFC's outlets in the country. The company said Monday that it would pay its staff as normal, and it was encouraging franchisees to do the same.

KFC did not say whether it would compensate its franchisee operators for lost business.

KFC fans have used social media to complain and express their amusement this week over a chicken restaurant running out of its signature product.

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #5: Russia
[br] [/font]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]Russia[/font]

Ah, stupid Youtube copyright laws. I wanted to include the Beatles’ classic tune “Back In The USSR” because that would be perfect for this entry. Of course you know Russia. It’s all over the news right now because of one man: Robert Mueller. Who we will get to in a minute. But first it is always our duty to tell you more about Russia. Russia is the single largest country in the free world. Its’ major cities include Sochi, St. Petersburg, Vladviostock, and of course the capital Moscow. It’s the home to the national airline Aeroflot, which also owns and operates many Russian manufactured aircraft and that includes Russian manufacturers Illyushin, Tupolev, and Yakolev, and it’s also the home of the world’s largest aircraft currently in operation – the Antonov AN-225! Now as far as landmarks go, Moscow is the home of a world wonder – the Kremlin. It’s also the home of the Trans-Siberian Railway – as once famously profiled in Agatha Christie’s classic novel and recent flick starring Josh Gad and Kenneth Branagh – Murder On The Orient Express. Russia is also the home of Red Square – at one point the center of Russian activities which included military parades (something Trump loves) and public executions – something Trump doesn’t say he loves but probably thinks it. But what else is Russia the home of? Why it’s the home of a whole lots of people about ready to go down!

Thirteen Russians have been criminally charged for interfering in the 2016 US election to help Donald Trump, the office of Robert Mueller, the special counsel, announced on Friday.

Mueller’s office said 13 Russians and three Russian entities, including the notorious state-backed “troll farm” the Internet Research Agency, had been indicted by a federal grand jury in Washington DC.

A 37-page indictment alleged that the Russians’ operations “included supporting the presidential campaign of then-candidate Donald J Trump ... and disparaging Hillary Clinton,” his Democratic opponent.

Mueller alleged that Russian operatives “communicated with unwitting individuals associated with the Trump campaign”, but the indictment did not address the question of whether anyone else in Trump’s team had knowingly colluded.

Rod Rosenstein, the deputy attorney general, said at a press conference in Washington: “There is no allegation in this indictment that any American had any knowledge.” Rosenstein added that the charges did not mean the Russian activity had an effect on the outcome of the election.

Thank you minions! And then there’s this where the infamous Troll Bot Army finally has a name – they’re called the “Internet Research Agency”.

The Department of Justice’s Deputy Attorney General, Rod Rosenstein, has announced a sweeping indictment of 13 Russian citizens, and several corporate entities they’re connected to, as part of an attempt to interfere in U.S. elections, at least as far back as 2014 and including the 2016 presidential race. The accusations against the defendants include the following: (1) They operated fake Facebook pages; (2) They committed identity theft for the purposes of electoral interference; (3) They enteried the U.S. on false pretenses; (4) They contacted the Trump campaign without revealing their connections to a hostile power; (5) They tried to stage rallies, discourage people from voting, and laundered money through U.S. banks.

All of this was done under the auspices of the blandly named “Internet Research Agency.” And this isn’t the first time the Internet Research Agency has been embroiled in international affairs. Here’s what you need to know about Russia’s social media propaganda operation:

The Internet Research Agency was first discovered in 2013: Located in St. Petersburg’s Olgino district, the Internet Research Agency was first uncovered by Russian journalists in 2013. It’s not Russia’s only trolling and propaganda operation on the internet, but it became so synonymous with Russian propaganda operations that even those located elsewhere are called “trolls from Olgino.”

Oh come on, guys! Nothing good has the words “IRA” associated with it! And this begs the question – which came first? The troller or the trollee? And if you troll the trollers, does that make you a troll as well? But hey! You know foreign elections aren’t the only thing Russia has targeted. They’re also going after hockey games!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Russia's presence at the Pyeongchang Olympics — technically the Olympic Athletes from Russia, as named by the IOC — has been controversial.

It continues to be.

On Friday Russian President Vladimir Putin made an appearance ... well, his likeness did.

During a game between Slovenia and Russian athletes, fans in one corner of the Gangneung Hockey Centre unfurled two large banners featuring Putin’s face.

After around 10 minutes, arena security and police intervened and the banners were rolled up.

One read, “No one is stronger than Russia in winter sports,” and the other seemed to be a message of support from Korean practitioners of the Russian martial art of sambo. It wasn’t immediately clear who had brought them in.


You know what else Russia is the home of? It’s the home of an Olympic doping scandal that got the whole country disqualified from multiple games. And you know what? They’re doing it again! I mean you can’t keep a good addict from doing their thing!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Fans of curling at the PyeongChang Winter Olympics describe the sport as cerebral, calculating and generally genteel. If you're wanting feats of physicality, they say, head over to the mountain for freestyle skiing.

However, Monday's announcement that Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky — the winner of a bronze medal last week with wife Anastasia Bryzgalova in the mixed-doubles competition — is suspected of doping after failing a preliminary drug test has sent shockwaves through a sport not commonly associated with scandal.

"It's a little different than like cross country or something where you're going full whirl all the time. There's more finesse and you don't always need your brute strength," American curler Matt Hamilton, who beat Russia in a mixed-doubles round at these games but failed to medal, told "Today."

Oh and come on it’s curling! It’s the only sport where your opponent can literally quit and walk off the court in the middle of the match! Just… fuck it, I’m done! Speaking of that, even Russians themselves are sick of the election meddling scandal and wish it would go away. Well, they kind of brought it on themselves.

Russians aren't laughing their anythings off.

The day after President Trump tweeted about Russians "laughing their asses off" in response to American investigations of tampering in the 2016 presidential election, the Kremlin on Monday reacted with a distinct lack of hilarity to the indictments of 13 Russians in connection with carrying out an illegal "information warfare" campaign.

"First of all, we didn't see any substantial evidence of someone interfering in their domestic affairs," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters on a conference call. "We still insist such evidence lacks foundation."

For many Russians, the U.S. accusations have simply become tiresome. Many dismiss the idea that their government could be powerful enough to weaken American democratic institutions.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

I’d say how I really feel about Russia but come on we’re not going to judge the people of this country based on how shitty their leaders are! I mean what would that make us?

Tourism: C
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: D-

Overall: D-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

This is it! Next week is the very last World Tour stop ever! We are officially going to retire this bit forever, but before we do – we are going to do something unprecedented. Yes, we are going to put our own country through our World Tour filter – and we are coming home to visit the United States!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Future[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, representing the ATL, his latest album is called “HNDRXX”. Playing his song called “Mask Off”, give it up for the one, the only Future!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-6: I Fought The Shut Down (And The Shut Down Won) Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-6: I Fought The Shut Down (And The Shut Down Won) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Top 10 Conservative Idiots has been proven to have a +-1% difference in reliability over the next 4G LTE carrier. Switch today and save! You know I want to talk about something cool for the intro again. I wanted to talk about emotional support animals and that Spirit Airlines story, but fuck that story. I’m done with emotional support animals. Instead I want to talk about something I’m sure we all love – Marvel Studios. Yes, this week marks the release of what looks to be one of Marvel’s best yet – Black Panther. Did you get the Kendrick Lamar produced soundtrack? So good!!! OMG, all the best in hip hop contributed – the Weeknd, Schoolboy Q, Anderson Paak, SZA, 2 Chainz, Vince Staples, I could go on and on! I’m getting off topic here. Oh and BTW - we will definitely be featuring more hip-hop, R&B and soul this year! What I really wanted to fanboy out on for a second is that Marvel took a class photo. Can you believe it’s been 10 years since the first Iron Man came out? We can’t either! But this photo is seriously amazing. 10 years of Marvel all in one picture. Can we show that?

How fucking cool is that? You’ve got everyone from Robert Downey Jr (Iron Man), John Favreau (Happy Hogan), Scarlett Johannsen (Black Widow) and Gwenyth Paltrow (Pepper Potts) to Chris Hemswoth (Thor) and Tom Hiddleston (Loki), to Chris Evans (Captain America) and Anthony Mackie (Falcon) to Chris Pratt (Star Lord) and Zoe Saldana (Gamora), to Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) and Idris Elba (Heimdall), Vin Diesel (Groot), Jeff Goldbloom (Grandmaster), Mark Ruffalo (Hulk), Tom Holland (Spiderman), Kurt Russell (Ego), Samuel L Jackson (Nick Fury), Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Strange), Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), even directors like James Gunn and John Favreau are in the mix. Even Stan Lee himself has a cameo! Well done, Marvel. That was a truly amazing way to cap 10 years of movies. Damn, I still can’t believe it’s been 10 years. I remember seeing the first Iron Man in the theater. All right enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to this week but first Bill Maher had a brilliant new rule last week about Trump’s lack of comprehension:

Taking the top slot this week is Kentucky Senator and before picture in a hair restoration ad, Rand Paul (1). Because he attempted to fight a pending government shut down, and the shut down won! Taking the second slot this week is Mike Pence (2). Meanwhile at the Olympics, Mike Pence made an ass of himself when he refused to stand for the host country. Taking the third slot and only occupying a single slot this week is the guy we call president, Donald J. Trump (3), and whew, this one is a doozy. In the fourth slot is “Conservatives React To Obama’s Portrait” (4) and they are firing on all fours on the batshit crazy. After this, why do they think they get more power over us? Taking the fifth slot, we’ve got a new installment of our new series Top 10 Investigates (5). And this time we’re going to take you to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and introduce you to the town of Bay View, a town where only fundamentalist Christians are allowed to own property. And – wait for it – you must show proof! At number 6 is our weekly sermon of all the crazy things the Christian right has been up to in “Holy Shit” (6), and Pastor Initech is going to explain how the Christian right loves to blame the victim, because, Jesus. At number 7 is the Alt Right (7) and they’re up to their usual bag of tricks, and we’re going to write some white supremacist Valentine’s Day cards. Taking the 8th slot, I just want to take a few minutes and gloat about how election stealing creepy weirdo Julian Assange (8) and his multiple attempts to fight the law, while hanging out in an embassy, and the law keeps handing him his ass! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’ve got a new installment of “People Are Dumb”, because, well, people are dumb, and there were some incredibly stupid ones this week. Finally this week we’re continuing the Shithole Edition of our World Tour 2018 and we’re going to the South American nation of Chile! Yes we’re making up for last year! Is it a shithole like Trump says it is? Well there’s only one way to find out! Plus it’s finally February and we’re celebrating Black History Month here at the Top 10. And we’re going to top things off with a live performance to get you in the mood for Valentine’s Day from Rhianna! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Rand Paul
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So while you were sleeping or likely passed out on Friday last week, Kentucky Senator and before picture in a Hair Club For Men advertisement, Rand Paul, attempted to fight the shut down. Hey, just remember – he’s not only a spokesperson, he’s also a client! And another shut down, another loss for both sides, and the rest of the world is most likely laughing at us. So here’s what happened exactly.

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) railed against what he cast as runaway government spending, days after he forced a short-lived government shutdown with a lengthy floor speech decrying the budget deficit.

Speaking to radio host John Catsimatidis on New York radio station AM 970, Paul accused lawmakers of kicking the can down the road on budget issues by repeatedly turning to continuing resolutions to keep the government running, and took aim at what he called "wasteful spending."

"I can give you a quick example of some of the stuff we spend money on," Paul said. "We spent $700,000 last year studying what Neil Armstrong said when he landed on the moon."

"Remember, he said 'one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.' Well, some idiot in government took $700,000 of taxpayer money and wanted to know whether he said 'one small step for man' or 'one small step for a man.' So that's the kind of stuff your government is spending money on," he said.

Yeah really, Rand? $700,000 to find out what really happened on the moon? Are you fucking kidding me or are you just pulling this out of your ass? And if you’re guessing that this couldn’t be worse timing you are correct!

Aya Collins, a spokeswoman for the National Science Foundation, said Paul’s report “mischaracterizes a substantive body of research with significant scientific value.”

“The foundation would have appreciated the chance to provide this report’s authors with the full context about the scope and significance of the research prior to publication,” Collins said....

That Neil Armstrong study? Collins said it supported research into treatments of autism, dyslexia, stuttering “and other conditions related to the brain mechanisms involved in understanding spoken language.”

“Contrary to Sen. Paul’s claim, NSF did not issue awards to specifically support research into Neil Armstrong’s moon landing quote,” she said.

Yes d’oh!!!! Of course they would lie! I mean this is 2018, we live in a world where facts don’t matter anymore! But it is fun to see what happens when these assholes get called out on their lies!

U.S. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer on Monday slammed Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul's single-handed effort to stop a budget deal and shut down the government last week.

"His idea of railing against the deficit on this bipartisan deal after he supported a $1.5 trillion deficit for tax cuts, 80 percent of which are aimed at the top one percent, is very hollow," Schumer said.

Schumer, a New York Democrat, was speaking at the University of Louisville as a guest of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Paul came up during a question-and-answer session.

McConnell, R-Kentucky, also opposed Paul's interjection.

Paul, a Republican, had objected to a deal that lifted strict budget caps and allowed politicians to spend an extra $300 billion over the next two years on defense and domestic programs.

So Rand Paul fought the shut down, and the shut down won. Come on everybody sing it with me – “I fought the shut down, and the shut down won! I fought the shut down and the shut down won!” Eh, doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? And here’s how the shut down won.

There was no reason for Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to feel nervous on Thursday morning. The day before, he and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer had announced an agreement on a massive two-year budget deal to attach to a short-term funding bill. A few Senate Republicans were annoyed, to be sure—the deal busts through budget caps, allocating nearly $300 billion in defense and nondefense spending, along with $89 billion in disaster relief and a one-year suspension of the debt limit. But Schumer had corralled the support of more than enough Democrats. They’d easily reach 60 votes. And as South Dakota Senator John Thune told House members on the floor last evening, they’d likely have a vote ready by lunchtime.

Fast forward to early Thursday evening. Kentucky Senator Rand Paul took the floor, arguing that the United States must withdraw troops from Afghanistan. He then switched to a collection of colorful signs, one lambasting California’s allotment of funds for school lunches (“School Lunch Programs: Feeding Lawns, Not Kids”), and another calling the D.C. streetcar system, “A Streetcar Named Waste.” And just after 11 p.m., the Senate adjourned until 12:01 a.m. without voting on a spending bill, shutting down the government.

At 1:53 a.m., the Senate at last voted and passed the bill, 71 votes to 28. And after a tense standoff with House Democrats, at 5:30 a.m., Republican leadership claimed victory in the lower chamber, passing the deal and reopening the government, 240 votes to 186. Seventy-three Democrats broke from House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to vote in favor. President Trump signed the bill on Friday morning, ending the government shutdown.

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[font size="8"]Mike Pence
[br] [/font]
[br] B

Yeah it’s Olympics time! I mean what better way to witness the coming together of nations around the globe to put aside their differences and compete in games like the Luge and the Triathlon? Well, there was one guy in the audience during the 17 hour opening ceremony who wouldn’t put aside his difference – particularly with one country. And that’s our Vice President, and guy who has to ask mother if he’s been a good boy today, Mike Pence. Yeah I could have seen Alfred Hitchcock casting him in Psycho. Well, any way here’s what happened.

PYEONGCHANG, South Korea (AP) — For all of Vice President Mike Pence's efforts to keep North Korea from stealing the show at the Winter Olympics, the images of the two Koreas marching together — and their officials shaking hands — at a time of heightened tensions on the peninsula proved impossible to counteract.

Pence spent the days leading up to Friday's opening ceremonies warning that the North was trying to "hijack the message and imagery of the Olympic Games" with its "propaganda."

But the North was still welcomed with open arms to what South Korean President Moon Jae-in called "Olympic games of peace" and the U.S. appeared to be the one left out in the cold.

Pence sat stone-faced in his seat as Moon and North Koreans officials stood together with much of the stadium to applaud their joint team of athletes. White House officials stressed that Pence had applauded only for the American team, but Asia experts said the vice president's refusal to stand could be seen as disrespectful to the hosts.

There’s no meme or clip here because I want to point out what happened when he attempted to protest anthem kneeling back last October:

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So kneeling bad, sitting good? That’s the take away I’m getting here. So was this a good move for Pence and the Trump administration? No!

The North Korean delegation will not be seeking a meeting with the U.S. on the sidelines of the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

The four high-ranking members of the North Korean delegation, which includes national leader Kim Jong Un’s sister Kim Yo Jong, are slated to attend the Winter Games opening ceremony on Friday. The event will also see the presence of U.S. Vice President Mike Pence, who invited the father of Otto Warmbier, the American student who suffered brain damage while detained in North Korea and died shortly after being returned in a comatose state to the U.S. last year, to join him at the ceremony.

“We have never begged for dialogue with the U.S. nor in the future, too. Explicitly speaking, we have no intention to meet with the U.S. side during the stay in South Korea,” read a statement attributed to Cho Yong Sam, director-general of the North American department of North Korea’s foreign ministry, and published in North Korea’s state-controlled news agency KCNA on Thursday.

Yes d’oh indeed! So I don’t know what they were trying to do here, but it didn’t work regardless of what Mikey was trying to accomplish. So not only did the asshole embarrass America more than he embarrassed North Korea, he’s doubling down on his assholery!

Vice President Mike Pence said Saturday evening there is "no daylight" between the U.S. and South Korea, despite their different approaches to engagement with North Korea at the Pyeongchang Olympic Winter Games. South Korean President Moon Jae-in had a luncheon earlier Saturday with the North Koreans, while Pence declined opportunities for contact with South Korea's neighbor to the north.

Moon provided Pence with a readout of the historic luncheon between the North and South. On the flight home from his Asian-Pacific trip flying somewhere over South Korea, Pence told reporters aboard Air Force Two that he appreciated Moon's transparency and perspective on North Korea, but reiterated that the U.S. and South Korea will "continue to stand strong and to work in a coordinated way to bring maximum economic and diplomatic pressure on North Korea."

"I leave here very confident that we are going to continue to do the things we know have to be done to continue to pressure North Korea to abandon their nuclear ambitions," Pence said.

Yeah I can imagine it’s only going to go down like that! So thanks to the arrogance of our grossly incompetent administration, we might have an international incident on our hands! But you know, Hillary’s e-mails, and such. And I mean come on bro, are you gonna leave me hanging?

PYEONGCHANG, South Korea (Reuters) - U.S. Vice President Mike Pence did not shake hands with North Korea’s nominal head of state, Kim Yong Nam, on Friday at the Winter Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea, a spokesman for Seoul’s presidential Blue House said.

So let’s get this straight. In one breath, Pence condemns kneeling protests, but then commits a kneeling protest of his own! The hypocrisy reeks with this one. I mean to call Mike Pence a horse’s ass, is really an insult to horse’s asses. At least the horse’s ass produces fertilizer, something that’s useful. But really, he shouldn’t have come at all.

PYEONGCHANG, South Korea – The first weekend of the Olympics was a story of cold wind and hot air.

Can’t do anything about the fierce winds that prompted the postponement of two Alpine events and one snowboarding event. The hot air? That went away when Vice President Mike Pence and his excuse makers returned to the United States.

It would have been better if Pence had not come at all. By declining to stand and recognize athletes of the Korean unified team as they walked together during the opening ceremony, Pence not only offended the host country, he sent a message that to the Trump Administration, not even common courtesy matters more than childish politics.

The world noticed. Columnists were quick to seize on Pence’s walkout of an NFL game last season, so offended by football players who did not stand during the pregame playing of the national anthem. That he saw nothing hypocritical in his behavior in South Korea only underscores how tone deaf this administration is in representing the United States abroad.

Yeah seriously the only hot air was coming from our Vice President, and it was so much hot air that it cancelled the Alpine Skiing competition! That’s a lot of hot air! But what would happen if Mike Pence did encounter North Korea’s leaders at the Olympics? Let’s examine that angle.

SEOUL, Feb. 9 (Yonhap) -- U.S. Vice President Mike Pence may encounter North Korea's ceremonial head of state Kim Yong-nam on Friday as both will attend a reception hosted by South Korean President Moon Jae-in, officials from the presidential office Cheong Wa Dae said.

The dinner meeting will be held in Yongpyeong, just east of PyeongChang, hours before the opening of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games. It will involve 200 other dignitaries, including nearly two dozen global leaders. They include Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and a ranking official of the Communist Party of China.

It remains to be seen whether Pence and Kim will hold a meaningful conversation.

The communist North said Thursday its delegates to the Olympic Games had no intention of meeting their U.S. counterparts while in South Korea.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Sigh………….. yeah I got to talk about this story for a minute. But I really don’t want to. But it’s another pattern in a long line of disturbing behavior coming from the man who sits in the Oval Office who we currently refer to as “president”. But before we go there I want you to know that Trump’s got his own magazine in the works!


Well, to be fair, this certainly wouldn't be the worst thing a Trump has done with a magazine! Hey o!!!! Thank you I’m here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress! But joking aside, there is a serious matter we need to discuss.

Senior aides to President Donald Trump knew for months about allegations of domestic abuse levied against top White House staffer Rob Porter by his ex-wives, even as Porter's stock in the West Wing continued to rise, multiple sources told CNN on Wednesday.
Porter denied the allegations but resigned on Wednesday.

A scramble ensued inside the West Wing to defend him when the claims became public this week, the sources said. That effort continues even after his resignation.

Senior White House officials were aware for months of the allegations made against Trump's staff secretary, two sources familiar with the matter said on Wednesday after Porter resigned.

Of course he denied it! I mean what’s he going to do? Just go “Yeah… I did it!”. Because that happens, um, fucking never! But it’s not just Porter – there is beginning to be a pattern here, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

(CNN)Rob Porter, a top White House aide with regular access to President Donald Trump abruptly resigned on Wednesday amid abuse allegations from two ex-wives, who each detailed to CNN what they said were years of consistent abuse from Porter, including incidents of physical violence.

Colbie Holderness, Porter's first wife, and Jennifer Willoughby, Porter's second wife, both said their ex-husband's consistent abuse was the reason for their respective divorces.
Porter denied the allegations in a statement issued in the wake of his resignation.

The allegations were first reported earlier this week by the Daily Mail.
"These outrageous allegations are simply false," he said in his statement. "I have been transparent and truthful about these vile claims, but I will not further engage publicly with a coordinated smear campaign."

Yeah what the fuck???? You know it’s a long standing Top 10 policy that we don’t talk about or joke about cases of horrifying abuse. But when they involve our president, and they contradict everything he says, we have to feel fucking empowered! Thank you! And you know what they say about always judging a person by the company they keep!

President Trump was blindsided by the allegations against his staff secretary of spousal abuse and called Rob Porter a "sick puppy," a close ally of the president told CBS News. Sources stressed that Mr. Trump would likely not have had any knowledge of the details of Porter's personal history, which includes accusations by two ex-wives Porter physically and emotionally abused them.

But there have been questions about the timing and nature of the White House's response.

The allegations of abuse first appeared in a Daily Mail story published Tuesday, Feb. 6, around 7:30 p.m. ET. The story reported allegations by Porter's second ex-wife, Jennifer Willoughby, that Porter had been verbally and physically abusive. And it also cited the June 2010 protective order Willoughby filed with the Arlington, Virginia police against Porter after he violated their separation agreement, refused to leave their apartment and punched the glass out in the front door of their home.

Even Steve Harvey is giving you a WTF look, and when he gives you a WTF look, he means it! And we’re not going to post pictures or anything because we don’t want to encourage this kind of behavior. But then again it gives yet another glimpse into the man who is currently serving as our commander in chief. But you think this is only isolated to Rob Porter. But it definitely isn’t! Behind door #2:

Trump campaign co-chair gets 20 years for sexual abuse and trafficking teens

Tea Party leader and former Trump campaign chair Tim Nolan has pleaded guilty and received 20 years in prison for human trafficking, reports Cincinnati.com.

According to the report, Nolan, 71, a former judge, used drugs and threats of arrest to force women and girls under the age of 18 into sex acts.

Pleading guilty to 21 of the counts filed against him — for crimes committed dating back to 2004 — Nolan accepted a plea deal where he will serve 20 years in prison and pay a $100,000 fine, becoming eligible for parole in four years, his attorney stated.

Some of the incidents occurred in the summer of 2016 while Judge Nolan was serving as the chair of the Donald Trump campaign in Campbell County, KY.

Yes… holy shit!!!! Quick! To the Pedo Mobile!!

Because we always make fun of GOP conspiracy theorists and how they’re going to out some super secret pedophile cabal that’s been operating under our noses this whole time. And so far they’ve been going about it the same way Wiley Coyote attempts to catch the Road Runner. But it looks like the tide might be turning in this endeavor. So far we’ve caught more child molestors and abusers than they have, and it doesn’t take much effort!

The resignation of top White House aide Rob Porter amid allegations of domestic violence certainly raised questions about the vetting process for working for President Donald Trump.

But it also raised broader concerns about the standards of personal conduct that the president demands in his staff.

Veterans from previous administrations say hiring choices during their times often went far beyond questions of legality or competency and typically considered political, ethical and cultural issues. This may no longer be true, they say.

In Porter’s case, the claims from two ex-wives that he abused them physically and emotionally were enough to prevent him from being given a permanent security clearance during the year he worked in the White House. But some former White House staffers say a potential hire like that may not have made it through the gates in the past.

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[font size="8"]Conservatives React To Obama Portrait
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There really isn’t enough batshit crazy for this one. And it might be a new low for Sean Hannity, and this is in the same month he had that epic clusterfuck (See: Idiots #4-5 ). But Hannity doesn’t just run away with his tail between his legs when he knows he’s been defeated. Instead he’s like Popeye – he downs a can of Covfefe and comes back with twice the batshit! And really? The Obama presidential portrait? That’s what you’ve got to attack? Never mind that our rights and civil liberties are being stripped one by one, Obama has a portrait! Squirrel???

As evidence for this claim, Hannity posted a link to an article on his own website titled, “PORTRAIT PERVERSION: Obama Portrait Features ‘SECRET SPERM.'”

The article itself details Obama portrait artist Kehinde Wiley’s past use of what the New York Times has described as “rich textile or wallpaper backgrounds whose patterns he has likened to abstractions of sperm.”

The article then zooms in on a portion of the Obama portrait that it believes depicts a sperm swimming on the former president’s head, just around the area of his left temple.

The Hannity article said that the purported sperm in the Obama painting was part of a “shocking” and “widening scandal” about the portrait. In addition to painting the supposed sperm, notes the Hannity article, Kehinde Wiley has in the past made jokes about “killing Whitey.” See the detail of the Obama portrait yourself below.

In this case, Hannity is *REALLY* making love to the canvas! Excuse me a minute! I feel better! I mean that’s all they got? And why is the first thought “sperm”? I mean are we living in that movie “There’s Something About Mary”? I think Hannity could call this “There’s Something About Obama”, although I do like that graphic! But there’s more to this of course!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Sperm is too.

At least for conspiracy-mongering Fox News host Sean Hannity.

His latest Barack Obama beef revolves around the former President’s official portrait by Kehinde Wiley and “secret sperm cells.”

After a handshake and a hug with the New York-based artist, the former commander in chief applauded the portrait at the unveiling Monday.

“What I was always struck by whenever I saw his portraits,” said Obama, “was the degree to which they challenged our conventional views of power and privilege.”

I hear Hannity might be looking for an attractive blonde cohost. And by the way if there’s no band starting tomorrow called “Secret Sperm”, I will have lost all faith in the internet! And we might be picking on Hannity for insane conspiracy theories surrounding the Obama portrait (trust us – we are) but he’s not the only one cooking up crazy theories surrounding the portrait!

The far-right internet spent yesterday hurling faux outrage at Kehinde Wiley, the artist who painted Barack Obama’s presidential portrait, with one internet personality going so far as to smear Wiley as a “white genocide fetish artist.”

Wiley is known for depicting modern-day African-American subjects using the tropes of classical European art. As Media Matters and Upworthy’s Parker Molloy first noted yesterday, the far-right has latched on to a pair of Wiley’s paintings in which he depicts the biblical story of Judith beheading Holofernes—a frequent subject in Renaissance art—as a black woman holding the head of a white man or a white woman.

These paintings were enough to revive the longstanding right-wing meme that Obama is racist against white people and to make Wiley the latest object of the far-right internet’s smear machine.

The Gateway Pundit’s White House reporter Lucian Wintrich claimed that it was hard to interpret Wiley’s prior paintings as “anything other than a blatant statement of racism.”

And our good friend Alex Jones has also repeated this insane theory about the Obama portrait and sperm:

Infowars leader and crackpot conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, contributing to the second phase of the ongoing right-wing smear campaign against the artist who painted Barack Obama’s presidential portrait, claimed that the artist purposefully painted an image of sperm on Obama’s face to fulfill part of a globalist agenda to “have everything be a ritual of abomination.”

Today on Infowars, Jones claimed the artist Kehinde Wiley, who was hired to paint Obama, “is obsessed with sperm” and that “all of his paintings have sperm swimming all over everything.” For some reason, Jones also felt the need to clarify that the alleged sperm shape in question was a “GMO sperm” that was “fully formed.”

“You say, ‘But, it doesn’t make sense, it’s so degenerate.’ It’s a religion of degeneracy. It’s what globalism is. It’s what Satanism is,” Jones said. “So there you go, President Obama covered in sperm in new national portrait, and it’s all part of the joke in your face, because they don’t want upright strength. They want to have everything be a ritual of abomination.”

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…. In this case I don’t want to know what a happy accident is! And by the way I want to introduce to you my new band “Secret Sperm”! And we’ll be playing our debut album “Ritual Of Abomination”! One night only! And Jerome Corsi also took things in a very dark direction, like he does. We may have to profile him in “This Fucking Guy” sometime.

Corsi was online yesterday when the official portraits of Barack and Michelle Obama were released, and like so many others on the Right, he saw something nefarious in the paintings, asserting that the foliage and flowers in Barack Obama’s portrait were a symbol of “the pedophilia that they’re engaging in.”

“That is one of the weirdest presidential portraits I have ever seen,” Corsi said. “It’s a bizarre picture.”

“It’s a reference to the loss of virginity in terms of a physical sense,” he added. “It’s a very physical reference to loss of virginity … This whole elite globalist pedophilia is a major theme that Q continues to remind us underlies a lot of these globalists that we are dealing with. The fact that they are sitting on flowers and the deflowering could be easily an image of the pedophilia that they’re engaging in or the slavery pedophilia, you know, tend your gardens everybody, their slave gardens.”


I don’t know why but Hannity’s insane theory suddenly makes innocent Bob Ross clips sound that much creepier. Don’t try to picture that when you go home tonight! I repeat! Don’t do it! “Yes, just ejaculate on the pallet. Now take your sperm, mix it with some blue paint… and then we want a nice little smudge in the bottom right corner. That will just be our little secret!” Whew, this might be the dirtiest entry I’ve ever done! Now… just to get that image out of your head, here’s an article about a guy on the US Men’s Curling team who looks like Mario!

The Winter Olympics have once again brought in the onslaught of jokes and memes at the expense of Curling, a sport that not everyone (including this writer) understands, but some people really enjoy. At the forefront of U.S. curling this year are siblings Matt and Becca Hamilton, who have arguably become superstars within their sport as well as within U.S. news for their impressive performances on the ice.

This year, after having helped dominate the sport in the U.S. for three years alongside his sister, Matt Hamilton has taken center stage for what might be the best combination of red sportswear and a thick mustache ever. Despite - or perhaps in spite of - their fall at the hands of Team Finland in this year's mixed doubles curling competition, the Hamiltons are enjoying a batch of entertaining posts and edits likening the elder sibling to one very important video game hero: Super Mario.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Bay View, Michigan
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Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. Now let’s go to a place in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where it would give a glimpse of what a nationwide take over by the religious right would look like in the future. Or a second term of Donald J. Trump, whichever comes first. The town of Bay View was founded in the year 1875 with the premise of advancing scientific and intellectual culture and the religion of Christianity. Really? Wouldn’t those two things cancel each other out? In fact this sleepy community made some big news because of a recent lawsuit.

Tucked away in Michigan’s Lower Peninsula, somewhere along the winding roads that hug Great Lakes shores, is an idyllic town named Bay View. For more than a century, generations of “Bay Viewers” have congregated here to share in summer activities.

What started out as a modest camping ground for Methodist families 140 years ago has quietly developed into a stunning vacation spot for people who can afford the upkeep of a second home. Streets named Moss, Fern and Maple are dotted with impeccably maintained century-old gingerbread cottages. Over the horizon, residents can watch lifelong friends sail their boats across the water.

But this paradise is not open to all.

In Bay View, only practicing Christians are allowed to buy houses, or even inherit them.

Prospective homeowners, according to a bylaw introduced in 1947 and strengthened in 1986, are required to produce evidence of their faith by providing among other things a letter from a Christian minister testifying to their active participation in a church.

Yes, Jesus saves, and saves you money. So this sleepy town sounds like the idyllic community for those stuck in 1950’s nostalgia sitcoms. Everyone goes to church. Everyone has boats. Everyone comes home to a nice home cooked meal. Until you see that last line – you must obtain letters from ministers testifying to your active participation in a church. Yes, cue the horror music.

A Michigan town where prospective buyers need a letter from their church minister to purchase a house has become the subject of a US legal battle.

Bay View, a scenic waterfront community on the shores of Lake Michigan, began life in 1875 as a campsite for local Methodists.

In the intervening century and a half, the settlement has developed into an upscale resort town and sought-after location for holiday homes, The Guardian reports.

The town enjoys an unusual amount of self-governance, MLive reported last year, and the Bay View Association has powers that go far beyond the usual homeowners’ association, including the right to dictate who should - and should not - own houses in the community.

A bylaw prohibiting the sale of homes to non-white residents was lifted in 1959, while a quota on Catholics remained in place until the 1980s.

Well, to be fair, at least they got rid of the racist requirement. I mean it only took them 100 years of progress to do so, but it had to be done, damn it! But there’s more to this sleepy northern town than meets the eye. And you know why does the way this town is run remind us of the way Sanford is run from the movie Hot Fuzz? It’s all for the greater good!

He said that the association --named one of the 12 "Prettiest Painted Places" in the U.S. for its colorful, well-kept "gingerbread" cottages -- welcomes everyone, including renters and the greater community, to many events and programs held at the campus.

"Like most private associations, there are specific requirements for membership. Our membership requirements have been part of our history and we understand that some of our members or the general public may disagree with them," the statement said.

"The Bay View Association of the United Methodist Church is an ecumenical, private, voluntary membership, organization," the statement said.

So Bay View is a model village. Does that mean that they have their own tiny model village of their own like in Hot Fuzz? Just like that movie, as you peel back the layers, you see something much more sinister lurking in the shadows.

"Unlike many other private properties and private associations, Bay View welcomes the public to our grounds and to experience our programming. We are not a gated community and anyone, regardless of age, income, race, gender, national origin, or religion is welcome on our campus and to attend our events."

Spencer said he had not heard of the inclusiveness group until it filed the lawsuit challenging association bylaws.

He does not know who filed suit, but said that "it is unfortunate that they would first not identify themselves so that we could sit down and discuss their concerns. Our organization believes in working though disagreements concerning our bylaws outside of the court system."

Yes because that’s what big city people think of small towns far away from civilization. It’s like that movie “Get Out” – eventually they’re going to run around screaming “Get Out” at you. So why would one want to get out of this small town? Well, remember back to when we said that the race restriction was removed? Well, they just imposed it somewhere else.

The race requirement was removed in 1959 but the religion test remained, with "further restrictions on the precise sect of Christian owners" from the 1960s to 1980s, the lawsuit said.

During that period, Roman Catholics could only comprise 10 percent of ownership, the lawsuit said.

A bylaw change in 1986 required prospective buyers to provide a reference letter from a pastor, the lawsuit said.

Prescott said that the state rejected Bay View's efforts to be an "ecclesiastic corporation" with the United Methodist Church controlling its affairs.

We can imagine that’s a typical day in Bay View. But this might be one insight into how a small town government like this works. But it would be nice to see a town without a Wal-Mart or Whole Foods, or anything else.

In response, the association said: "There is a simple process that members of the Association can follow to initiate bylaw amendments to change the membership requirements. Prior bylaw amendments proposals to change the membership requirements have been voted down by our members. They simply have not had enough votes in the past, so it appears that this group is now seeking to change our membership requirements through a court decision."

There you have it. A town so bent on controlling its’ citizens that it can’t bear the thought of being challenged in court. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. See you next time!

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened. It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For it is our weekly duty to tell you why the most devoted of us are also the most full of:

Now remember that last segment from our good friends at Top 10 Investigates? You know we here at the Top 10 qualify as a church! Of sorts. And I, Pastor Initech, will gladly sign a release if you want to purchase a cottage! And in case you’re wondering, I am more of a pastor than a guy who actually *IS* a pastor! And I only wish that the good lord JAYSUS had written down a story like this in the Good Book as an example of what *NOT* to do!

A Pennsylvania pastor insists he was merely counseling a naked man whom cops found bound with nylon rope in a parked car on a residential street, saying, “I have nothing to hide.”

George Nelson Gregory, 61, was sitting in the back seat of a car parked outside a house in Homestead when cops — responding to a call about a suspicious vehicle — spotted a naked man bound with nylon rope in the front seat around 11:30 p.m. Friday, KDKA reported.

A witness told police the naked man got out of the car in full view of his daughter’s window.

Gregory told the officers that he and the unidentified man were “just playing” in a consensual setting, adding that they “meet up from time to time to play with each other,” according to a criminal complaint obtained by the station.

And despite being inside a car on a well-lit public street, Gregory believed they were in a private setting, cops said.

Gregory, who could not be reached for comment Tuesday, still disputed what cops said about the bizarre ordeal, telling a KDKA reporter he has “nothing to hide.”

“I did nothing wrong,” Gregory told the station, adding that he and the man were approached by police because the officer thought somebody in the car was unconscious.

“I was counseling a young man with a drug problem,” Gregory told the station. “It did turn strange, but it wasn’t my doing, OK? And I was adamant that I’m participating in that way. And so that’s when the police pulled up, and they assume things, but I’m standing by my story. It’s not true.”

Uh huh, sure. Keep telling yourself that, Pastor! Nothing to see here! Well, apparently, according to GAWD, the creator of all that is good and holy, his SON Donald J. Trump, must be remaking the world in his divine image! But we all know that lying is a SIN!!!! And sins must be punished!!!

On Friday, End Times author Paul McGuire appeared on Rick Wiles’ “TruNews” program to promote his new book, “Trumpocalypse: The End-Times President, a Battle Against the Globalist Elite, and the Countdown to Armageddon.” During the broadcast, McGuire argued that since President Trump is being relentlessly attacked by the Luciferian globalists, it must be proof that he has been chosen by God.

McGuire asserted that “the very fact that Trump is opposed worldwide by the mass media, by the international banking families, by the globalist elite on every level” is proof that Trump is doing God’s work.

Trump is being “psychologically assassinated” by the media, he said. “CNN is a whore. It’s not journalism, it’s not even reality TV; it’s whoredom, it is spewing forth lie after lie. They don’t even blush when they lie, they’re a lying machine. And the Washington Post—for crying out loud, the Washington Post has sold itself to the lowest bidder as hookers in Times Square in New York.”

McGuire said that late night comedians attack Trump in order to appeal to “idiots” while witches are cursing him because they “get the fact that Trump is being used by God.”

Yes because even JAYSUS has had enough of your madness! I mean is Trump really the religious guy everyone thinks he is? No!!! Because blasphemy is one of the most egregious of SINS that you can commit here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 and that is a one way ticket to the most darkest of places!!! Can I get an amen??? But the Christian right loves them some conspiracy theories, don’t they?

Right-wing pastor Paul Begley, who we first became aware of when he claimed to have insider information that First Lady Melania Obama ordered the White House to be “completely exorcised” of demons before she moved in, streamed a video on YouTube earlier this week in which he asserted that Barack Obama is leading an Illuminati plot to assassinate President Trump.

“We know right now, folks, that this was treasonous,” Begley said. “They’ve tried to hijack our nation, they tried to override our election and they are trying to destroy our Constitution. This is a cabal and by their own text messages, they even say they have secret societies and they say that these societies are meeting and these are top level people of several different U.S. government agencies working together as an Illuminati, working together as a cabal, to overthrow the United States of America.”

“I think that Bill Ayers is behind the scenes,” he continued. “I know that Barack ‘Barry’ Obama, I know that Barack Hussein Obama, I know that he is orchestrating it.

Now you know Brother Paul, that is so stupid! And stupidity is one of the most egregious of sins and it will send you to the darkest of places! Can I get an amen???? But the Christian right loves to do some victim blaming as you will clearly see by today’s message!

On his radio program today, extremist anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson attributed USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar’s sexual abuse of more than 150 women and girls he treated, in part, to the fact that gymnastics encourages “a fair amount of immodesty.”

Citing a variety of supposed dangers, such as the use of open showers, Swanson warned Christian parents against allowing their children to participate in sports because “sports tend to focus on the body.”

“There is an infatuation with the body,” he said, “and, of course, the sexual aspects of the body as well. Some sports encourage immodesty, revealing large portions of the body and this happens in some sports. These are the risky sports. Here they are, what are the risky sports? Gymnastics. Gymnastics and swimming. These are the sports in which there is an added risk.”

“Why are all of the gymnasts [at] more of a risk than other sports?” Swanson asked. “Do you really want your daughters involved in a sport that involves a fair amount of immodesty in which red-blooded American male coaches are interacting with these girls? Or, worse yet, where the infatuation of the body eventually effects the lesbian coaches?”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You sir are a liar!!! Because hypocrisy in the eyes of the LAWRD hath cast the first stone. It even says so, I looked it up here in the Good Book! Hypocrities Chapter 32 Verse 5. And how great is the Top 10 Gospel Choir? Give it up for them! But they also love some transparency. Not Transparent, sir! I actually think the Christian fundamentalists probably hate that show!

The final episode of the “Faith for Our Nation” series produced by Kenneth Copeland Ministries for the purpose of preparing conservative Christians to vote in the 2018 midterm elections was dedicated to explaining that “Voting for Godly Judges Sets Our Nation’s Course.” The program featured former Rep. Michele Bachmann and right-wing pseudo-historian David Barton insisting that the proper role of a judge is issue rulings according to God’s law.

“A good judge proclaims the precepts of God, ultimately, because they understand the precepts of God and the premises of God and that’s how you get decisions based on wisdom, judgment, understanding, common sense,” Bachmann said.

Praising the appointment of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, Bachmann warned that there are hundreds of judges who will be appointed at both the state and federal levels, which means that it is imperative for Christians to elect godly politicians who will install judges “that will be reflective of God’s law.”

Quoting from the Bible, Barton insisted that it is the responsibility of judges to “honor God [and] fear the Son, otherwise you are going to create wrath.”

But in the good book, it sayeth “And the lord, even under the guise of thine own stupidity, one must still seeketh forgiveness from thy lord JAYSUS.” Nehlame 24: 7. But while we must partake in the sin of projection, we should be aware that even JAYSUS would just give a giant facepalm if he saw what thy were doing in thine image!

As we have noted several times before, once Religious Right pseudo-historian David Barton adopts a new talking point, nothing is going to stop him from repeating it, no matter how many times it is pointed out that the claim he is making is demonstrably false.

This fact was on display on Barton’s “WallBuilders Live” radio program today, where he falsely claimed that under President Obama, his organization was designated as “an enemy of the state.”

Barton was responding to a question from a listener who wanted to know what constituted a “domestic enemy” as mentioned in the Oath of Office that members of Congress take in which they vow to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”

Barton said that nobody can agree what that term means today because we, as a nation, no longer rely on God to objectively establish what is right and wrong and so the definition now largely depends on who you ask.

Because even the good LAWRD!!! Our GODD!!! Has no idea what to make of these egregious allegations even though they aren’t mentioned anywhere in the Good Book! That’s the take away you should get from today’s sermon! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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The Alt Right has been up to their usual bag ‘o tricks lately and it should be no surprise to anyone, especially regular viewers of this program, that they are not ashamed in flashing their racism out in the open like hookers on Las Vegas Blvd during a bachelor party. Hey, they’re open with it. So two prominent figures in the Alt Right – your racist uncle’s racist uncle Richard Spencer, and Patriot Prayer – got their asses handed to them last week.

That’s because Spencer won’t be speaking on the campus at all, at least for a while.

Spencer’s lawyer, Kyle Bristow, tweeted and the university confirmed Monday that the planned March 14 event is off because of a dispute over security fees.

Bristow referred to the security fee as “the unconstitutional speech tax” and said it is “cost-prohibitive.”

University of Cincinnati President Neville G. Pinto said in a written statement that, because no contract has been signed between Cameron Padgett, the Georgia State student who serves as Spencer’s booking agent, and the school, the March 14 date is no longer possible.

The university’s Public Safety Department requires a minimum of six weeks to prepare for such an event, Pinto said. The now-cancelled date would have been during spring break, when few, if any, students would have been on campus.

Yes, yes universities! Let the hate flow through you! You must give in to the Dark Side! And yes, we do have cookies! And who’s better at recruiting people to the Dark Side than Patriot Prayer? Because you know it has two things conservatives love in the name, and we’ll let you guess!

SEATTLE – Joey Gibson and his Patriot Prayer organization demonstrated Saturday that they are still capable of drawing attention from both the media and police officials for their far-right “free speech” events such as the one sponsored by the local chapter of College Republicans at the University of Washington campus.

The bigger question, however, was whether they remain capable of attracting any actual followers.

Saturday’s rally at UW’s Red Square followed the trend of recent Gibson-led events: Only a small gathering of about 50 people actually showed up in his support. Among them, despite his protestations to the contrary, were a number of devoted white nationalists.

And well the hate is well on display here. By the way, anyone remember the Kent State republicans who I profiled last season (see: Idiots #3-19 )? In case you’re wondering the protest against safe spaces backfired on them spectacularly:

The leader of the Kent State chapter of the conservative students’ group Turning Point USA filed a public resignation and announced the dissolution of her chapter of the organization in response to what she believed to be Turning Point USA’s insufficient response to the public ridicule her group’s members faced after conservatives at her university were photographed at an anti-safe-space protest wearing diapers.

In a letter addressed to Turning Point USA field director Frankie O’Laughlin and regional manager Alana Mastrangelo on Monday, Kent State’s Turning Point USA chapter president and campus coordinator Kaitlin Bennett detailed what she believed to be the organization’s abandonment of her chapter as members faced public ridicule after photos of protesters wearing diapers to protest “safe spaces” circulated online. Bennett claimed that Turning Point USA knew that the diaper-clad protesters belonged to another conservative group and not to Turning Point USA, but still let the members of the group’s Kent State chapter “face the consequences of online harassment.” From the open letter on Liberty Hangout (emphasis added):

And then there’s 4Chan – you know that website your cousin Timmy spends way too much time talking about. They also went full racist, and here’s more:

In right-wing internet message boards, users are encouraging one another to print and hang posters that state simply “It’s OK to be white” with the goal of exposing what they claim is anti-white racism in liberal communities and on college campuses.

Creators of the signs were first inspired by a news report that police were investigating fliers hung at Boston College that depicted Uncle Sam and the text, “I want you to love who you are” and “Don’t apologize for being white.” Reporters noted that the signs were posted near the planned location of an anti-racism rally on campus.

Earlier this week, 4chan users called on one another to hang fliers in their own communities with a more succinct spin on the Boston signs, making the statement “It’s Okay To Be White” in large easy-to-read font with no other context. One post detailing the plan explained the goal was to make liberals go “completely berserk” and ruin their credibility, marking a “massive victory for the right in the culture war.”

So since 4Chan is going all in on the racist card, what would some 4Chan valentines look like? “Pepe The Frog loves you!”. Or maybe “It’s OK to be white. Let’s be white together on Valentine’s Day!”. Or maybe “I have 14 words to say I love you.” The candy hearts really highlight the 14 words don’t they? This one is my favorite – “Be my 88!”. With a Hitler moustache! Nein! But really they’re not racist! Oh and by the way, 8Chan, while you’re too busy trying to figure out how to “trigger” us, we’re too busy doing that thing called “voting” and “winning elections”!

Right-wing YouTube creators have also taken notice, including Infowars editor-in-chief Paul Joseph Watson and white nationalist Paul Ramsey. Alt-right video bloggers James Allsup and Nick Fuentes even launched their own spin-off of the signs that read “Make your ancestors proud. Never feel guilty for who you are,” and solicited donations to produce and distribute their posters.

Offline, reporters have documented the signs at campuses across North America. The signs have appeared everywhere from California to Canada, and even at a Maryland high school. Online, 4chan users have shared hundreds of images of the signs hung on statues, wrapped around telephone poles, and even carved into a pumpkin.

Alt-right and far-right fever swamps of the internet are encouraging increased participation ahead of anti-fascism protests scheduled for the weekend across the United States, where users believe they can further embarrass liberals by proving their claims that white people are currently the subject of more racism and hate than any other group in America.

By the way, before we move onto the next entry, 4Chan and 8Chan, I seem to have misplaced something in my jacket. Let me go get it.

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[font size="8"]Julian Assange
[br] [/font]

I couldn’t love this next story more, and it involves future James Bond villain Julian Assange. So let’s go back a few weeks because this couldn’t be any more insane. If there’s any proof that the Matrix exists and that we’re trapped in it, Assange is a real life Agent Smith. Well, the Ecuadoran embassy in London doesn’t want him, and London wants to indict him. Yes, kids, this is what we adults would refer to simply as a “clusterfuck”. Here’s more:

LONDON — A British judge upheld an arrest warrant for Julian Assange for the second time in a week on Tuesday, a significant setback for him after five and a half years of evading the authorities by living in the Ecuadorean Embassy in London.

Before a packed London courtroom, Senior District Judge Emma Arbuthnot rejected the arguments made by Mr. Assange’s lawyer, stating that he was not a prisoner, that his living conditions were nothing like those of a prison, and that he could have as many visitors as he liked. In fact, she said, he can — and should — walk free at any time to meet his legal fate.

“He is a man who wants to impose his terms on the course of justice,” Judge Arbuthnot said. “He wants justice only when it’s in his favor.”

If the judge had nullified the warrant, Mr. Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, might have left the embassy, but that was far from certain. The United States and British governments have never publicly ruled out the existence of a secret request to extradite him to the United States, where he could face prosecution for publishing classified documents.

But before we can gloat any further, let’s do one of those things from movies and roll back and explain how we got to this point. I don’t think I’ve covered that slippery weasel enough here, because fuck that guy, but here’s some of the ways that we got here while Assange has been in exile:

Mr Assange has frequently said he would happily face British and Swedish justice if he is given a guarantee he will not be extradited to the United States.

This demand has never been overtly agreed to by the UK.

It is unclear how strong the appetite to prosecute Mr Assange is in America. In the past, his organisation has been a source of deeply embarrassing revelations for the US.

But Wikileaks’ recent activity has benefited the current administration – including the leak of Hillary Clinton’s campaign emails obtained by Russian-backed hackers.

The move lead Donald Trump to declare during his presidential bid: “I love Wikileaks.”

And who lies more than Julian Assange does? Well maybe Donald Trump, but that’s beside the point! Also, you know it’s generally not in our nature to kick a man when he’s down… ah fuck it, that’s all we do here! Plus think about the horror that Assange has wrought on the world! He deserves it! And by the way are we really surprised that Roger Stone wants to be BFFs with Assange, or is he really just a classless jackass? I say both!

Roger Stone, a longtime associate of Donald Trump who has previously claimed he had a “backchannel” to WikiLeaks, on Wednesday visited the Ecuadorian embassy in London, where officials have harbored the organization’s founder, Julian Assange, for over five years.

Stone told the Daily Beast, which first reported the visit, that he did not meet Assange. “I didn’t go and see him, I dropped off a card to be a smart ass,” he told the Daily Beast.

He added that he left his contact information for Assange, who has stayed in the Ecuadorian embassy for the last five years to avoid extradition to Sweden, where he faced allegations of sexual abuse.

“I dropped in my card, I don’t even think he’s there any more,” Stone said. He speculated that Assange might have been “extracted” secretly at some point in recent weeks.

You know if you were to look up the word “tool” in the dictionary you would see a picture of Roger Stone and Julian Assange. They’re both tools! But in case you’re wondering why Ecuador wants to kick him out, look no further. Oh and by the way Infowars fans, this is what a real conspiracy looks like!

Assange's asylum was granted by Moreno's predecessor, Rafael Correa. Moreno has said he will continue to protect Assange, but he's eager to get him out of the embassy. In December, Ecuador granted Assange citizenship, paving the way for officials to ask the United Kingdom to grant him diplomatic immunity. They declined, saying that Assange should leave and “face justice.”

On Sunday, Moreno vented about the situation in a television interview. He said that Assange had created “more than a nuisance” for his government. He also described him as an “inherited problem” and said his government was seeking help from “important people” to solve the problem.

Moreno has also urged Assange, he said, not to interfere with Ecuadoran politics or “that of nations that are our friends.” In the past, Assange had tweeted support for the Catalan independence campaign. He's also met at least once with Nigel Farage, the architect of the Brexit campaign.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font]

Oh you know what time it is? It’s time for this!

And of course Depeche Mode schedules a stop in my home town, on the day of my calculus final. Grr. Yes so of course you know by now you know that people are people, and people are dumb. So who’s dumb this week? Why don’t we start in our favorite state of Florida because why not? You know I’ve been to my local Goodwill Store hundreds of times, never saw this:

Talk about one heckuva an explosive donation.

Authorities say a grenade launcher, loaded with a live grenade, was left with other donated items at a Florida Goodwill store.

The Bradenton Herald reports that employees at a Goodwill store near Tampa reported the weapon on Sunday.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office says the store manager told deputies that the grenade launcher had come in a shipment from another store several days earlier. The employees at the other location said they sent it along because they didn't know what it was.

Deputies say they disposed of the active grenade in a Hazmat locker, and the launcher was stored in the agency's property room.

It's not clear who donated the items.

Yeah maybe it was that guy who donated the grenade launcher! Next up – a new category that we haven’t explored here yet – dumb professors! So how are you a university professor and you don’t know that Australia is a single country? Well let’s explain.

This is Ashley Arnold, a 27-year-old resident of Idaho Falls, Idaho. She's a stay-at-home mom completing an online sociology degree with Southern New Hampshire University.

As part of her final class, for which she paid almost $1,000, students were required to complete a project outline last month in which they would compare a social norm in the US and another country.

For her "norm" Arnold picked social media use, and for her country she chose Australia.

But when Arnold got her grade back on Feb. 1, she was shocked to see her professor had failed her. Why? Because, according to the teacher, "Australia is a continent; not a country."

Yeah come on has that guy not seen The Simpsons? Next on People Are Dumb – our good friend Florida Man! Or maybe Florida Man’s wife Florida Woman! Of course you know the Super Bowl is the best game around, and this time around what happens when you fight during the Super Bowl? Might want to call Jerry Springer for this one!

A Florida woman allegedly injured her boyfriend by throwing a piece of furniture at him during an argument about who would win the Super Bowl, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said.

Cheryl Merrill, 60, was arrested after the incident, which happened at 7 p.m. Sunday, according to a police report. Merrill became enraged during the argument and allegedly threw a wooden shelf at her boyfriend of five years, deputies said.

The man suffered a swollen hand but refused medical treatment. Because of his hand injury, he was unable to sign an affidavit, deputies said.

Merrill was described by deputies as being "extremely intoxicated" and disobeyed orders to remain in the cul-de-sac while deputies investigated the incident, the report said.

Read more: http://www.statesman.com/news/deputies-say-florida-man-injured-during-super-bowl-argument/5XxMdyKXGlh58LRHEsO1xK/

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Next up in People Are Dumb – we go to the Florida of the North – Wisconsin. So we all get it, we have loved ones, they die. And it sucks but it’s a part of life and we have to accept it. But do we really need to bring fucking pizza into the mix? If I’m planning Nana’s funeral I can guarantee the last thing I want would be a slice of pepperoni supreme!

Pre-planning a funeral is not a fun or comfortable task — that's why Mark Krause, president of Krause Funeral Homes in Wisconsin, added something a little unusual to the table: free pizza.

"People don't think about funerals until they really need them," he explained to TODAY Food. "So we asked ourselves, 'How do we get people to relax about the idea of thinking about this difficult topic ahead of time?'"

The answer? Food. "People are relaxed and open when they're surrounded by food," he said. "You think about everything you do in life... it always centers around food."

Last year, Krause and his team decided to invite potential customers to join them for an informational session to learn more about pre-planning their funerals. Knowing the topic wasn't exactly enticing, he decided that perhaps the main course should be.

Right, what situation isn’t improved by pizza? Deadpool knows what’s up! And come on, Nana didn’t skimp on the toppings, let’s not kid ourselves here! Finally this week for “People Are Dumb”, here’s a real life Rocket Man! Remember this guy from last year? Well he’s back! And he was proved wrong by Elon Musk!

A man who claims that Earth is flat tried to leave it in a homemade rocket Saturday but failed to overcome the gravitational force of a 13,166,800,000,000,000,000,000,000-pound sphere directly beneath him.

In fairness to Mike Hughes, he knows how to build a rocket. He built them for many years under the precepts of classical physics, when he was still a relatively conventional daredevil, which is to say, one who believed Earth is round.

But Saturday marked Hughes's third aborted launch since he declared himself a flat-earther last year and announced a multipart plan to fly to space by the end of 2018 so he could prove astronauts have been lying about the shape of the planet.

Why does Wiley Coyote keep using Acme products if they keep failing? Does he have a buy one get one free card? Does he have a credit card? Is he part of some rewards program? Does he get frequent flyer miles and access to presale concert tickets? I want to know! Anyway that’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #4: Chile
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]Chile[/font]

It’s good to be back in South America everybody! Of course if you were familiar with last season at all you know we had to bail on Chile due to a holiday, so we were off that week. Well this is a makeup date for Chile. Of course you know Chile as the Texas of South America if only for the strikingly similar use of the one star on its’ flag. Chile is of course the home of the former brutal dictator Augusto Pinochet, but let’s not focus on that. Let’s focus on what Chile is the home of. It’s the home of some of the wildest and most extreme nature on earth – you’ve got glaciers, mountains, desert, jungle, geysers, some of the most beautiful beaches in the entire world. It’s also home to one of the highest elevations in the world and one of the lowest elevations in the world. Chile is also the home of one of the world’s original wonders – Easter Island, and yes you know them as the home of those famous statues. It’s also home to the driest place on earth – the Atacama Desert. It’s the home of major cities Santiago (the capital) and the hillside city of Valparaiso. And it’s also the home of the Andes Mountains and to Easter Island – which was once famously explored by Charles Darwin. But you know what else Chile is the home of? Let’s say meet the new boss – same as the old boss!

Chile’s president-elect, the billionaire businessman Sebastian Piñera, has unveiled a new hardline cabinet, including prominent conservative figures and some politicians once closely aligned with the Pinochet dictatorship.

The new interior minister, Andrés Chadwick, was a vocal supporter of Augusto Pinochet during his 1973-1990 regime, which named him president of the Catholic University Students Federation.

Chadwick and the new justice minister, Hernán Larraín, were also supporters and defenders of the secretive German enclave Colonia Dignidad, which was established by the fugitive Nazi officer and paedophile Paul Shäfer in the early 60s. It later emerged that the enclave was used by security officials to torture and murder opponents of the regime.

Both Chadwick and Larraín later made statements distancing themselves from Pinochet’s regime.

Yes, meet the new boss, same as the old boss! I swear Putin is filling this world what seems like a bunch of James Bond villains. I mean we got Erdogan in Turkey, Duterte in the Philipenes, and now Pinera in Chile! I mean could it get any worse?

SANTIAGO, Chile — They killed Tony the Tiger. They did away with Cheetos’ Chester Cheetah. They banned Kinder Surprise, the chocolate eggs with a hidden toy.

The Chilean government, facing skyrocketing rates of obesity, is waging war on unhealthy foods with a phalanx of marketing restrictions, mandatory packaging redesigns and labeling rules aimed at transforming the eating habits of 18 million people.

Nutrition experts say the measures are the world’s most ambitious attempt to remake a country’s food culture and could be a model for how to turn the tide on a global obesity epidemic that researchers say contributes to 4 million premature deaths a year.

“It’s hard to overstate how significant Chile’s actions are — or how hard it has been to get there in the face of the usual pressures,” said Stephen Simpson, director of the Charles Perkins Centre, an organization of scholars focused on nutrition and obesity science and policy. The multibillion dollar food and soda industries have exerted those pressures to successfully stave off regulation in many other countries..

Yeah they banned Tony The Tiger to help curb obesity. That’d be like banning Scrooge McDuck to help curb excessive greed! Good job guys! So why do big businesses suddenly have a massive interest in Chile? Well it could be because of this!

Tesla is now in talks with the Chile-based lithium mining firm SQM about the sourcing of further supplies — with the electric vehicle manufacturer reportedly interested in “important volumes,” according to industry figures.

To be more specific, the head of Chile’s development agency Corfo, Eduardo Bitran, was quoted by Reuters as saying that Tesla and SQM were “exploring” various possibilities following from interest being shown by Tesla.

This news isn’t particularly surprising, as Tesla will need to secure new lithium supplies if it is going to continue expanding at the rates that it’s targeting. Chile’s Atacama desert region is of course home to some of the largest concentrated lithium reserves in the world.

That is a good point, Morpheus! But unlike here in America, at least Chile embraces its’ natural beauty and its’ natural parks system which makes it home to some of the best hiking in the world!

If Chile isn’t already on your bucket list, get ready to add it. Then bump this wild and wonderful country straight to the top. This week, Chile’s president, Michelle Bachelet, signed a groundbreaking conservation measure, creating five new national parks and expanding three others.

Much of the land being earmarked for the parks comes from Kristine Tompkins, an American philanthropist and the founder and CEO of Tompkins Conservation. The not-for-profit organization is the life’s work of Tompkins, the former CEO of Patagonia Inc., and her late husband Doug Tompkins, founder of North Face and Esprit. Together, they spent 25 years purchasing and restoring land and, as a result, Tompkins’ donation comes to 1 million acres, making it the largest land donation in history.

Thanks to their hard work and forward thinking, this land will now be preserved for generations to come. “All of us who love the earth can see how the threats to wild places and creatures are growing,” Tompkins shared on her personal blog. “This is crucial work—it’s the work we’ve been doing for decades and will be doing with all of our energy and resources long into the future.”

There is a Simpsons GIF for everything! But in America we look the other way while American corporations ravage our natural beauty! But there’s one difference between Chileans and Americans – when you’ve been through one of the worst brutal dictators in American history, you learn a thing or two about how to stage a fucking protest!

SANTIAGO, Chile – As he does during every papal visit, Pope Francis produced plenty of surprises in Chile: He married a couple during a flight, stopped his motorcade to help a fallen police officer and wept with victims of sex abuse by priests.

But the pope also faced protests and a level of hostility unheard of in modern times for a papal visit. Anti-pope protests had to be broken up with tear gas, attackers burned at least 11 Roman Catholic Churches and pamphlets were found threatening Francis that the "next bomb would be in your cassock."

"This kind of violence during a papal visit is absolutely unprecedented. And Chile is historically a very solidly Catholic nation," said Andrew Chesnut, the Catholic Studies chair at Virginia Commonwealth University.

It remains to be seen whether the friction in Chile was a fluke or a harbinger of what to expect in future papal trips.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Is Chile a shithole? Well some ways yes and some ways no. Sadly Putin got to the South American country so see it before it turns into a shithole!

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: C

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

We’ve got just two more stops on our Shithole World Tour and then we’re done. Next week is a good one as we’re going to visit Russia!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rhianna[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen continuing our celebration of Black History Month, we’re going to get some music for all the lovers out there! Her latest album is called “Anti!”, and playing her song “Love On The Brain”, give it up for Rhianna!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-5: Better Dead Than Red State Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-5: Better Dead Than Red State Edition

Ed. Note - due to a scheduling conflict at our home venue, we're bringing you the Top 10 a little bit early this week! Now on with the show!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Fly Eagles Fly! Fly Eagles Fly! Fly Eagles Fly! Fly Eagles Fly! Fly Eagles Fly! Whew!!! I’m celebrating like I won the Super Bowl! And my team was out of the playoffs for what seemed like an eternity ago, didn’t it? I mean how great was it to see the unbridled joy wiped off Bill Belicheck’s face? That guy really is a man of 1,000 emotions isn’t he? I actually saw a meme where it said “Who wore it better? Bill Belicheck or Emperor Palpatine?”. And what the fuck was up with Kevin Hart at the end? Did he really think he won the Super Bowl? Or was he going to pull a Kanye West and be like “Carson Wentz isn’t the real MVP, Chris Long is the real MVP of this shit!” And then he goes on the NFL Network to air his thoughts on the game. But my favorite thing is on Monday he went on TV and was like “Kids, alcohol is bad for you.”. And then there was Eagles fangirl Jennifer Lawrence who was on a Delta flight from New Orleans and was trying to get on the plane’s intercom system getting a “Fly Eagles Fly” chant going, only to find she was the only one doing the chanting. Which begs the question - if one person leads a chant and nobody cares, did it really happen? And then there was the Patriots. Yeah Tom Brady, you put up a good fight, and you can rest assured that you don’t have to go to the White House to meet Trump. Yeah remember when we had a president who wasn’t a raging asshole? Those were good times. And then there were the ads which we will get to in a minute. But the parties in Philadelphia were fucking insane. I saw one tweet where this guy said “Philadelphians chased cops out of downtown! Savages!”, which I am saying to this guy: “U mad bro?”. And then there was the guy who ate horse shit. Which is a shame, because that guy will now be famous for the rest of his life as the Eagles fan who literally ate horse shit! OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first Bill Maher is back and he completely slams Trump’s wall in his New Rules segment:

Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the number 1 slot after a long absence this week is our president, Donald J. Trump (1)! Bravo, well done! So what’s he been up to this week? Well, he released the memo, and as expected it was a colossal shit show! Taking the second slot of course is also Donald Trump (2) – ah, fuck, who cares about his Nazi parade? SpaceX launched a rocket into orbit, how awesome is that? We will tell you all about it! At number 3, we’re going to introduce you to Illinois congressional candidate Arthur Jones (3). If you don’t know who he is, you will. And let’s just say we’re going to need the Blues Brothers for this one, because this guy is a real piece of work. In the fourth slot is White Goodman’s doppleganger Paul Ryan, because he had a huge Twitter SNAFU over the weekend. While he was praising the $1.50 raise working class employees got, his billionaire backers are getting raises that eclipse that. In the fifth slot is our brand new segment – Top 10 Investigates (5)! So we’re going to take you deep inside a neo Nazi themed MMA organization, and it’s scary beyond belief! At number 6 is our duty to have our weekly sermon on all the crazy things that the religious right has been up to in “Holy Shit” (6). And this time we’re going to tell you about how Pat Robetson almost met god over the weekend among other madness. Taking the seventh slot is the Advertising Industry (7). So if you saw Super Bowl 52 over the weekend, you most likely saw some terrible advertisements from Dodge RAM, Honda, and Verizon. And also Doritos is trying out an insane new product we can’t wait to tell you about. AT number 8, we're going to play a game of "Is It Racist"? Spoiler alert! Yeah probably. The subject? We're going to do a deep dive on why the Cleveland Indians decided to finally shitcan their infamous and controversial Cheif Wahoo logo. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is "I Need A Drink", and this time we're going to get drunk and talk about the sensitive subject of “Emotional Support Animals” (9) and wait until you see some of the crazy things people try to take on planes. Man nothing exciting ever happens on any of my flights! And then finally this week we have the next round of our Shithole World Tour (10) and we’re going to Central America and the country of El Salvador! Is it really as much of a shithole as Trump says it is? Plus it’s finally February and we’re celebrating Black History Month here at the Top 10. And what better way to kick off our celebration than with a live performance from The Legendary Roots Crew? Hell yeah! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Remember back in the 80s when Russia was actually our enemy? And you know the GOP loves them some slogans, right? If I remember correctly their motto during that time their slogan of choice was “Better dead than red!!!!”. That’s all you heard during the 80s. “BETTER DEAD THAN RED!!!”. It was flying next to their “don’t tread on me” flags. Well, now I think we need to change that motto to “Better dead than red state!”. Now let me explain. We have a president who’s deep in bed with Russia, and Russia loves him. So much that rejected Keebler Elf Ron Paul was in Russia, on Russian state television and said this:

Russia’s state television channel seems to be happy with President Donald Trump’s decision to not enforce sanctions against Russia that were overwhelmingly approved by both houses of Congress.

Julia Davis, who runs the Russian Media Monitor website, reports via Twitter that Russian TV show host Olga Skabeeva on Tuesday was positively gushing about the White House’s decision to not enforce new sanctions against her country.

“Seemingly, Trump is ours again,” said Skabeeva, according to Davis’ translation. “So far, he’s being quiet and not supporting the sanctions.”

Co-host Evgeny Popov seemingly agreed and told her, “Well, it seems that way.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So seriously what’s Ron Paul doing on Russian state TV? I mean come on, when you’re under investigation for ties to Russia, don’t talk about Russia. I mean you don’t tell the guy trying to lose 100 pounds: Go on fatty! We’re going to the Golden Corral for lunch! What’s your vice? They got everything you could want!

On Tuesday morning—the day after the House Intelligence Committee voted along partisan lines to send Rep. Devin Nunes’ memo, alleging abuses of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, to President Donald Trump for declassification—presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway was confronted with the idea that Russian trolls were promoting the #releasethememo hashtag online. She was offended. Russian trolls, she told a television interviewer, “have nothing to do with releasing the memo—that was a vote of the intelligence committee.” But her assertion is incorrect. The vote marked the culmination of a targeted, 11-day information operation that was amplified by computational propaganda techniques and aimed to change both public perceptions and the behavior of American lawmakers.

And it worked. By the time the memo got to the president, its release was a forgone conclusion—even before he had read it.

This bears repeating: Computational propaganda—defined as “the use of information and communication technologies to manipulate perceptions, affect cognition, and influence behavior”—has been used, successfully, to manipulate the perceptions of the American public and the actions of elected officials.

The analysis below, conducted by our team from the social media intelligence group New Media Frontier, shows that the #releasethememo campaign was fueled by, and likely originated from, computational propaganda. It is critical that we understand how this was done and what it means for the future of American democracy.

Hey Alex Jones! This is what an actual conspiracy looks like! You have GOP operatives going overseas to a country we attempted to sanction. They tried to get a memo released that smeared opponents. And they’re conspiring to undermine an FBI investigation. That is a fucking conspiracy! Oh and you know what happened when Trump actually did release the memo? It was a predicted category 5 shit storm, as is everything with this administration!

WASHINGTON — House Republicans released a politically charged memo on Friday that accused F.B.I. and Justice Department leaders of abusing their surveillance powers to spy on a former Trump campaign adviser suspected of being an agent of Russia.

The memo alarmed national security officials and outraged Democrats, who accused the Republicans of misrepresenting sensitive government information through omissions and inaccuracies. President Trump declassified it over the objections of the F.B.I., which had expressed “grave concerns” over its accuracy in a rare public break from the White House.

The three-and-a-half-page memo, written by Republican congressional aides, criticized information used by law enforcement officials in their application for a warrant to wiretap the former campaign adviser, Carter Page, and named the senior F.B.I. and Justice Department officials who approved the highly classified application.

But it fell well short of making the case promised by some Republicans: that the evidence it contained would cast doubt on the origins of the Russia investigation and possibly undermine the inquiry, which has been taken over by a special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III. The Page warrant is just one aspect of the broader investigation.

So there’s two memos. There’s a flip side to every memo. So what did the GOP memo actually talk about, and why did it get released? Remember Highlights Magazine and they had that cartoon “Goofus And Gallant”? The GOP are goofus. They would do anything that Gallant doesn’t. Actually – better metaphor – the GOP is Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. Only in this scenario, as Charlie is lying on the ground, Lucy spits in his face and kicks him in the ribs. Because they’re just that satanic. Let’s explore that further.

WASHINGTON – President Trump again attacked the Russia investigation on Monday, this time targeting the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee: Rep. Adam Schiff of California.

Trump called Schiff "one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington" and said he "must be stopped."

Schiff's committee is probing whether Trump and his associates colluded with Russians who sought to interfere in the 2016 election through cyberattacks and fake news.

Trump's attacks came as Democrats seek to release a memo to counter claims made in a newly declassified memo written at the direction of House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes, R-Calif.

The Nunes memo argued that the FBI and Justice Department abused their top-secret surveillance to spy on an adviser to Trump's campaign. The memo alleges the government obtained its warrant to spy on Carter Page based on a disputed dossier compiled by an ex-spy retained by an opposition research firm and financed by Democrats.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Can we talk about something cool for a change? I don’t want to talk about Trump or his dumbass Nazi parade, or Fox & Friends having an Americagasm over Trump’s SOTU, or any of the other shit we’ve had to put up with since the election. I mean come on, Trump already had his Nazi parade back in August. Thank you! And the thing is you know I don’t want you to think this show is about negativity! What kind of host would that make me? Not a very good one if you ask me! For the record, before I switch subjects and talk about what I want to talk about, Trump is the idiot in this piece, and only because I can’t stop watching this.

Oh!! Oh!!!! You can’t unsee that, can you! Ha!!!! OK enough of that – here’s the cool thing that I wanted to talk about. Space X. Right? How fucking awesome was that? And allow me to fanboy out for a second – this is what happens when you see science in action. Even the guy who we call president wants in on the action:


Wait a minute – isn’t Elon Musk from South Africa? Why yes he is! Trump stopped tweeting out of his ass during his morning Fox & Friends binge to tweet something that actually sounds kind of presidential! So let’s talk some more about this subject:

It takes a beat or two for the brain to compute. The image is startling, incongruous, barmy. A car floats in space. At the wheel is a spacesuit, seatbelt on. Earth hangs behind it. The two objects don’t work together. The image jars like bad Photoshop. But it is real.

The photograph was beamed down to Earth courtesy of Elon Musk’s ego, bravado and taste for the absurd. It is human folly and genius rolled into one, a picture that sums up 2018 so far. Life on Earth feels precarious, so we look to the stars.

So how did we get here: the heavens navigated by a dummy astronaut in an electric car, with a handy note for aliens – “Made on Earth by humans” – imprinted on the circuit board?

That’s right! This is science in action here! I still can’t get over how awesome that was – we shot a fucking car into the Mars orbit! Never mind that it’s going to return in a billion years, it was playing David Bowie’s Space Oddity! So what is the purpose behind the space man driving the car? Let’s explore that a bit.

SpaceX put a “Starman” into space today, on a path to a potential wide looping orbit of Mars and Earth — it was actually a mannequin wearing an official SpaceX crew flight suit, but it was more than just a fun payload for a rocket that stood every chance of exploding mid-flight, it turns out.

Elon Musk revealed on a press call following the Falcon Heavy launch on Tuesday that the mannequin was wearing an actual production SpaceX crew spacesuit, rather than a non-functional prototype or mock-up. The suit, which the SpaceX CEO revealed last year via Instagram, will eventually clothe SpaceX astronauts flying on board Crew Dragon, the capsule it’s developing to bring real people to space, with a target initial launch date of later this year if all goes to plan.

The suit, developed in-house by SpaceX, features a sleeker design than most spacefaring flight suits you’ll find. It’s a design that came with a price, however: Musk said that combining style and function was a particular challenge in a spacesuit.

Damn straight! But my favorite thing about this – of course someone put up a used “Space X Test Rocket” on Craigslist. And it can be yours for the low, low price of $9 million! Hey I’ve got that hiding underneath my mattress, sure!

In the market for a "gently used" SpaceX orbital rocket?

Perhaps looking for a new lawn ornament? A real conversation starter? Planning ahead for Christmas?

Oh boy, do I have the deal for you ...

Someone has listed a gently used orbital launch vehicle for sale on Craigslist for $9.9 million, "or best offer." Good news, the "seller" accepts cryptocurrency, so you finally have an excuse to use those Bitcoin profits.

And this sucker is a beaut. It's fully loaded! "Take off and land anywhere!" Who needs Happy Honda Days or Toyotathon when you can start your morning commute with 9X Merlin engines! And you all thought self-driving cars were the futures ... SMH.

Ah gotta love that movie! So where do we go from there? What’s the next target for SpaceX? Maybe fixing Donald Trump’s hair? Hey o!!! Well considering that each launch is ridiculously expensive it could take a few years before the next one.

A SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket lifts off from historic launch pad 39-A at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida, U.S., February 6, 2018.
SpaceX launches Heavy Falcon rocket
19 Hours Ago | 02:06

The successful launch of SpaceX's Falcon Heavy rocket had the entire space industry watching on Tuesday, and the Department of Defense was chief among those following the test flight, a former official told CNBC.

"This opens up a whole new set of capabilities for the Defense Department, and Washington, to be able to put up even more capable satellites and do it at a fraction of the cost of today," John Young said.

Young was the Pentagon's Under Secretary of Defense for acquisition tech and logistics and is now a SpaceX advisory board member and consultant. His role for more than two years in Washington was to be the person "in charge of all Pentagon buying," he said.

After seven years and half a billion dollars in development, Falcon Heavy's maiden flight had SpaceX CEO Elon Musk saying he wants "a new space race" from both corporations and governments alike. Falcon Heavy "can launch things direct to Pluto and beyond," Musk said, and each launch starts at $90 million.

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[font size="8"]Arthur Jones
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“Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.” – Jake Blues

Well, where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? Because we’re going to introduce you to an actual Illinois Nazi. And when you guess what party he’s affiliated with, the answer will shock you. Or maybe not if you have been following this program for any length of time. This guy is a real gem too, and not only does he look like a bad rendering of Mr. Magoo, his ugliness will leave a bad taste in your mouth, because… whew.

Arthur Jones — an outspoken Holocaust denier, activist anti-Semite and white supremacist — is poised to become the Republican nominee for an Illinois congressional seat representing parts of Chicago and nearby suburbs.

“Well first of all, I’m running for Congress not the chancellor of Germany. All right. To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,” Jones told the Chicago Sun-Times.

Indeed, Jones’ website for his latest congressional run includes a section titled “The ‘Holocaust Racket’” where he calls the genocide carried out by the German Nazi regime and collaborators in other nations “the biggest blackest lie in history.”

Jones, 70, a retired insurance agent who lives in suburban Lyons, has unsuccessfully run for elected offices in the Chicago area and Milwaukee since the 1970s.

Yeah sorry Jake, but this guy is definitely *NOT* on a mission from god. I’d say he’s more on a mission from Satan. He’s already got the Nazi trifecta – holocaust denier, white supremacist, and an activist anti-Semite. Can he go for the superfecta?

“Well, first of all, I’m running fo Congress not the chancellor of Germany,” Mr Jones said in an interview with the Chicago Sun-Times. “To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,”

He went on to describe how he led the American Nazi Party and is currently head of the America First Committee. “Membership in this organisation is open to any white American citizen of European, non-Jewish descent,” he added.

Mr Jones had seven failed runs for the Republican 3rd Congressional District primary, but this time is running unopposed.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” the Illinois Republican Party chair, Tim Schneider, said in a statement. ”We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”

Ding ding ding!!! We have the Superfecta! He said “America First”! Bravo, take a bow! And Mr. Schneider, before you go and condemn this guy, you should be aware that he’s currently running unopposed. Which makes him the perfect GOP target.

A former leader in the American Nazi Party is about to be the only Republican on the ticket for a congressional race in Illinois.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Arthur Jones, a Holocaust denier who has repeatedly tried ― and failed ― to attain office, is the only candidate seeking the GOP nod for the seat in the heavily Democratic 3rd Congressional District.

Images on Jones’ campaign website showed him speaking at KKK and neo-Nazi events, giving the Nazi salute and shredding the flag of Israel. He called the Confederate flag the symbol of “white pride,” “white resistance” and “white counterrevolution.” Jones also told the Sun-Times that the Holocaust was “an international extortion racket.”

Party leaders have disowned Jones.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” Tim Schneider, chairman of the Illinois Republican Party, told the Sun-Times. “We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”

Oh and in case you’re wondering what a gem this guy is, there’s more! So much more! In fact in the above article, he’s apparently amused that he has detractors. I mean this guy really is a fucking Nazi!

Jones mocked the party’s attempts to stop him.

“Well, it’s absolutely the best opportunity in my entire political career,” he told the Chicago Tribune. “Every time I’ve run it’s been against a Republican who follows this politically correct nonsense. This time they screwed up.”

Yeah because that’s how good Nazis operate! They blame those for causing their own failures! And of course he’d attack the “politically correct” crowd! Those damn snowflakes! If this is too much for you, go back to your safe spaces! And that’s not all! Wait until you see who else he’s attacked!

And in his most recent blog post — dated Aug. 24 — Jones rails against “Radical Leftists” and blames them for starting racial violence that had roiled Charlottesville about two weeks earlier. Heather Heyer, 32, a protester at a white supremacist rally, died after a driver rammed a car into a crowd of demonstrators. A self-professed neo-Nazi has been charged with first-degree murder in the incident. Jones painted the death as an accident.

Despite his views, Jones is all but certain to become the GOP nominee in one of Illinois’s most prominent congressional districts — one that includes parts of Chicago and several suburbs to the west and southwest. Jones is running unopposed in the Republican primary; the deadline for candidates to file was in early December.

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[font size="8"]Paul Ryan
[br] [/font]

Raises. That thing you used to get for doing a good job. Of course, now these days with the greediest men alive, the Koch Brothers, determining our economic destiny, you will most likely never get another one as long as you live. Sad reality. Deal with it. And who definitely won’t be getting raises? Teachers. Secretaries. Assistants. Just ask Speaker Of The House, and White Goodman’s doppleganger, Paul Ryan. So while most people are enjoying their $1.50 tax breaks, the billionaires are enjoying their $1,500,000 tax breaks. Here’s more:

Never mind all the Democrats who call the GOP’s tax bill a deficit-busting giveaway to the rich; House Speaker Paul D. Ryan has been enthusiastically promoting it as a middle-class tax windfall.

He’s been coaching other Republican lawmakers to sell the $1.5 trillion tax cut to voters, and telling people on Twitter to check their paychecks for wage hikes. The bill — which was deeply unpopular when it passed along party lines in December — is now breaking even in a new opinion poll.

So Saturday morning, by way of good news, Ryan’s Twitter account shared a story about a secretary taking home a cool $6 a month in tax savings.

Here is the passage in the Associated Press:

Julia Ketchum, a secretary at a public high school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, said she was pleasantly surprised her pay went up $1.50 a week. She didn’t think her pay would go up at all, let alone this soon. That adds up to $78 a year, which she said will more than cover her Costco membership for the year.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Good job, dumbass! Way to hit the nail on the head on income inequality guys! Because most people want their Costco memberships covered by $1.50 a week! Meanwhile the people who are actually benefitting from the $780,000 they’ll save in tax breaks will never set foot in a fucking Costco! Thank you! But some good news is that the good people of Twitter won’t let him get away with it!

@paulkrugman, New York Times opinion columnist, tweeting his thoughts on Paul Ryan’s tweet about the GOP tax cuts. On Saturday, Ryan tweeted and then deleted this: “A secretary at a public high school in Lancaster, PA, said she was pleasantly surprised her pay went up $1.50 a week … she said [that] will more than cover her Costco membership for the year.” The tweet was derided as out of touch. “How many $1.50’s does it take to add up to the $500,000 payoff you got from the Koch Brothers days after passing the tax scam?” @Amy_Siskind asked.

Yes Paul, you suck! And here is my favorite part of all of this – that tweet has actually given a favorable boost to his challenger in November! Here’s more.

RACINE, WI — An opponent of Speaker Paul Ryan in Wisconsin's First Congressional District says he's made some big-time campaign cash following a tweet by Ryan touting small-time wage gains.

At issue is a tweet that Ryan posted earlier this month. "A secretary at a public high school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, said she was pleasantly surprised her pay went up $1.50 a week ... she said [that] will more than cover her Costco membership for the year," Ryan posted on his Twitter account.

Supporters of the GOP tax bill say that Ryan's tweet was about touting small-time wage gains as a way to show that the bill stood to benefit the poor as well as the rich. In contrast, however, critics pointed fingers at Ryan, suggesting that he is out of touch with working people.

Wow, even Captain Picard thinks you suck, Ryan! But thankfully our opposition won’t let shit like this slide, because Paul Ryan deserves to get a lot of crap for this. I mean they basically gave a blank check to the billionaires and it’s already reaping the benefits while screwing everybody else.

Democrats slammed House Speaker Paul Ryan on Saturday after the speaker deleted a tweet touting how the new tax law increased one woman's take-home pay $1.50 a week, enough to pay for her Costco membership.

"A secretary at a public high school in Lancaster, PA, said she was pleasantly surprised her pay went up $1.50 a week ... she said [that] will more than cover her Costco membership for the year," a tweet from Ryan's campaign account read, before it was deleted.

It's unclear why Ryan (R-Wis.) decided to delete the tweet, which included a link to an Associated Press report that includes an anecdote about Julia Ketchum, the secretary in question.

Democrats and liberals on Twitter immediately bashed the message.

Did I mention Paul Ryan sucks?

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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Ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely excited to debut our new segment here, and I hope it goes well! Let’s hit it!

Welcome to Top 10 Investigates. In 2017 we saw the rise of white supremacism and neo Nazism on American soil for the first time since World War II. Which ultimately cultivated in the events of last August in Charlottesville, North Carolina. While the rest of the world, and those of us with brains, were horrified at the events that took place, naturally we haven’t seen the end of it. In fact it’s only going to get worse. Taking their cues from the 1999 film “Fight Club”, the Alt Right has started forming their own version of underground fighting. Only they haven’t read the book or seen the movie, apparently.

Anastasia Yankova, a Russian model-turned-mixed martial artist who has appeared in a Nike commercial, was a month away from her professional debut when she took to Instagram to post a cartoon of Adolph Hitler. In the image, Hitler is seated on a window ledge, looking down with weepy-eyes on a dreary, overcast sky. “Matches my mood,” Yankova wrote.

“Aryan sadness?” asked a commenter.

“Only the weather and the restriction of carbohydrates,” she responded with a purple devil emoji later that day, September 2, 2013.

Yes, nein. So much nein that it’s practically a 10. Because nothing says you’re depressed like a sad Hitler, and it all comes back to Hitler and Russia like so many of the events of the last year. So to get their aggressions out, there has been an even sinister version of the fighting genre of mixed martial arts have begun to appear.

Mixed martial arts has a long and sordid relationship with white supremacists. But neo-Nazi-affiliated MMA outfits, like White Rex, a Russian clothing company and former fight promotion that helped launch Yankova’s career, have typically been confined to eastern Europe and Russia, where they have, well, something of a stranglehold over the far-right fringes of the sport. But now, inspired in part by emerging international talents like Yankova, groups in America, including Rise Above Movement in southern California, have helped popularize a particularly violent version of combat-ready racism, offering an example of how to advance white nationalism with perfectly executed strikes and takedowns, which have already been used with vicious effect in street battles in California and beyond.

Yes, Yankova is a member of a fight club. Only in the movie, the first rule of Fight Club is that you’re not supposed to talk about Fight Club. And you’re definitely not supposed to talk about a Neo Nazi Fight Club.

White Rex’s events have featured guests with serious criminal backgrounds, including Erich Priebke, a convicted war criminal and former SS Hauptsturmführer—a Nazi Party paramilitary rank—and the convicted criminal “Tesak,” from the neo-Nazi group Format 18. (Tesak can also be seen wearing a White Rex shirt in a video he filmed of himself attacking a gay man in 2013. “I want to kill,” he said, “but I’m not allowed.”) In 2014, White Rex-linked fighters allegedly even brought their fighting skills to a far more militant cause in Wales—to train British white nationalists in underground combat training camps. Anton Shekhovtsov, an extremism researcher who recently published the book, Russia and the Western Far Right, wrote at the time: “British anti-terror police and the Home Office may want to keep a close watch on White Rex.”

If only, Smoochy. If only. Of course if Death To Smoochy had been made in 2018, Smoochy would find some good friends in that crowd of Nazis. And nothing says “sell out crowd” like inviting a former Nazi war criminal to speak. They even attracted corporate sponsors – something that goes against Brad Pitt’s teachings in Fight Club.

In the years since the Birth of a Nation fight, Yankova has risen in the ranks of MMA and extended her reach around the world. She has been featured in the Russian edition of Vogue magazine. A Telegraph article from April crowned her as “the new face of women’s MMA” and claimed that she “has a deal with Nike.” In February of last year, she appeared in a Nike Russia commercial called “Made Of,” which highlights top female Russian athletes. Now, with a professional record of 5-0, Yankova fights in the American promotion Bellator, a league that increasingly competes with the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC), which rakes in hundreds of millions of dollars per year and was—in what remains the largest sports transaction in history—sold in 2016 for $4 billion.

According to Nike spokesman Matthew Kneller, the company learned of Anastasia Yankova’s ties to White Rex shortly after Nike Russia aired the commercial that featured her last spring. “We immediately ceased working with Anastasia once this was brought to our attention. We haven’t worked with her since, nor do we have any plans to in the future,” says Kneller. He clarified that Yankova was never a “sponsored” athlete, as has previously been reported. When asked if Nike paid Yankova for her participation in the commercial, Kneller declined to comment.

Yes, we are all part of god’s compost heap. And that’s breaking the second rule of Fight Club, again, that you’re not supposed to talk about it. But that has inspired the Alt Right to take up “bloodsports” – their newest recruiting tool. Here’s more:

Over the past month, prominent alt-right personalities on YouTube have carved out platforms for themselves on a handful of popular livestreamed political debate channels, where they’ve engaged in debates against “classical liberal,” libertarian and “anti-social justice warrior” YouTube talkers.

The series of debates, which have been affectionately dubbed “bloodsports” by their participants, have provided the white nationalist alt-right with its latest chance to thrust itself into the political consciousness of young people and to appeal to members of some of the subcultures that have splintered from the movement in recent months.

The “bloodsports” phenomenon grew out of a fight about “race realism,” which is how some white supremacists refer to their pseudoscientific claims about racial superiority. A private group on the chat service Discord had been debunking “race realism” claims using scientific arguments. After the group was exposed to the public, its critics alleged that it had become a doxing operation that had distributed the personal information of various white nationalist YouTube personalities and targeted them for harassment. This was enough to get various factions of YouTube political personalities publicly feuding among themselves.

Which sounds harmless until… you see the hardcore racism starting to pile on:

When the feuding between various pundits reached critical mass, alt-right figures who promote “race realism” and white nationalist advocates for the creation of ethnostates offered themselves up for debates with YouTube personalities who have channels much larger than their own. Taking advantage of the attention that the feud was providing, alt-right figures were able to secure spots on YouTube channels that boast hundreds of thousands of followers and to go up against some of YouTube’s biggest political commentators, such as Carl Benjamin (“Sargon of Akkad”), who were eager to inject themselves into the public hype.

Now really, would you put your trust in a guy who hosts a show called “Race War Live”?

Yeah that’s the kind of sick people we are dealing with here. But in case you’re wondering how our president factors into this, take a look at this alarming statistic that recently surfaced:

White supremacist groups have stepped up their recruiting on college campuses over the past two years with a sharp increase in their presence and activism in the past year, a period that perfectly overlaps with the political presence and prominence of President Donald Trump, according to a new study released this week by the Anti-Defamation League.

Calling the spike in hate group behavior “alarming,” the ADL tallied a three-fold increase in propaganda efforts by a variety of hate groups and white nationalist organizations on hundreds of campuses nationwide. “White supremacists, particularly alt right groups, have been actively targeting U.S. college campuses since January 2016,” the report states. “The practice failed to get any real traction until the fall semester of 2016. Since then, propaganda efforts have increased dramatically.”

The ADL recorded 346 incidents of white supremacist materials — fliers, stickers, banners, posters — littering college and university campuses since September 1, 2016. “These campaigns targeted 216 college campuses, from Ivy League schools to local community colleges, in 44 states and the District of Columbia,” the report said.

So there you have it. You elect a violent, hateful president, you’re going to encourage the youth of this country to be hateful and violent. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. See you next time!

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to tell you why the most devoted followers of JAYSUS are also the most full of:

Because it’s our duty to find out why the most devout followers of JAYSUS, our god, creator of all that is good and holy, are also the most batshit fucking crazy. Can I get an amen???? So over the weekend while you were watching thine Eagles devour thine Patriots, our brother Pat almost met God. Though I think when he got there, even god took a look and said “What the fuck are you doing here?”.

Televangelist Pat Robertson is recovering after suffering an embolic stroke.

In an online news release, The Christian Broadcasting Network, which Robertson founded, says he was rushed to the nearest stroke center Friday after a family member recognized the onset of symptoms.

The release says that within minutes of receiving clot-busting drugs, Robertson was awake, responsive and able to move all his limbs.

The Virginia-based network says 87-year-old Robertson is alert and expected to make a full recovery.

Read more: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/pat-robertson-is-recovering-after-suffering-a-stroke/ar-BBIEUKh

Yes, brother Pat, for Jesus came and you were saved! Or maybe he saw you were coming and they were like “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”. But there are signs of GAWD everywhere! Like in Minnesota where the holiest of games was held over the weekend. So anyone remember Michelle Bachmann? She was looking for a sign from OUR GOD that she should run for Senate. And you know what message the lord layeth down?

Earlier this year, former Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann revealed that she was inquiring of the Lord whether she should run for the seat in the Senate that had been vacated by Sen. Al Franken.

Over the weekend, Bachmannn told End Times radio host Jan Markell that after much prayer, she has decided that God does not, in fact, want her to make a bid for this seat.

“I’m not going to run for that office,” she said. “I had a lot of people contacting me, wanting to give me money and be a part of my team to run for a campaign … But what I did is I did what I have done on every other time I thought about running: I took it to the Lord in a very quiet way, I took it before the Lord, I prayed, I tried to have my ears open and hear what God was saying to me.”

“I considered it for quite a long time,” Bachmann continued. “From the very first day when Al Franken had announced his resignation from the U.S. Senate, I went before the Lord and it became very clear to me that I wasn’t hearing any call from God to do this.”

And god sayeth “NO”!!! For let this be a lesson to all of you sinners out there that in the good book, the good Lord judgeth not lest ye be judged. For he is the creator of all that is good and holy, can I get an amen??? And who needs a doctor, I ask my fair congregation??? Who needs thy doctor to tell you that you are sick and you need to healed? What kind of GAWD would allow that?? I answer you with this:

Back in 2013, the Texas megachurch run by televangelist Kenneth Copeland, a member of President Trump’s faith advisory council who recently became the proud owner of a Jesus-provided private plane, was at the center of a measles outbreak that was attributed to the church’s belief that congregants can forego vaccines because Jesus will protect them from illness.

You’d think that given past experience, Copeland’s Eagle Mountain International Church might have learned a lesson, but you’d be wrong, as yesterday a video was posted on the ministry’s Facebook page featuring Copeland’s wife, Gloria, telling people that there is no such thing as flu season and that they don’t need to get a flu shot because “Jesus himself gave us the flu shot.”

“Listen, partners, we don’t have a flu season,” Gloria Copeland said. “And don’t receive it when somebody threatens you with, ‘Everybody is getting the flu.’ We’ve already had our shot, He bore our sicknesses and carried our diseases. That’s what we stand on.”

For Jesus sayeth I AM SICK AND YOU SHALL HEAL ME!!! And how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them! And speaking of signs from god, there is a sign that Satan exists!! False prophets are one of the most egregious of SINS in our religion, and SINS MUST BE CLEANSED IN THE NAME OF JAYSUS, creator of all that is good and holy! Can I get an amen???

V.A. Shiva Ayyadurai, a man who claims to have invented email and is seeking to unseat Elizabeth Warren from her Massachusetts Senate seat in 2018, met with alt-right activist and neo-Nazi cosplayer Matt Colligan at a Massachusetts diner, where he blessed a statue of “Kek,” the Pepe-the-Frog-inspired deity at the center of a satirical 4chan religious institution.

Ayyadurai appeared with Colligan in a live video broadcast yesterday, during which Colligan presented him with a small ceramic figure of 4Chan’s frog deity “Kek.” Ayyadurai described Colligan, who was photographed at the white nationalist “Unite the Right” rally where a liberal counter-protester was murdered, as “one of our great supporters” and a “phenomenal video editor.” After exchanging greetings, Colligan presented Ayyadurai with “the statue of ‘Kek’ and Pepe the Frog,” a reference to the cartoon amphibian that alt-right activists co-opted during the 2016 general election.

Colligan told Ayyadurai that he needed to bless the statue of Kek. Ayyadurai obliged.

Yes even JAYSUS!!! Believes that Trump don’t pray. By the way, Trump Don’t Pray is the name of our new Christian rock album which you can buy in the lobby for the low low price of $10.99! Featuring our amazing Top 10 Gospel Choir! But apparently if there is a GAWD, that demons walk among us if we don’t praise Trump who according to them is the creator of all that is good and holy! Wait, no, that’s our GAWD!!!

On his radio program last Friday, right-wing pastor Carl Gallups declared that President Trump’s State of the Union address just may have been the greatest one in history and asserted that the Democratic response to his speech exposed that the party is “demonic.”

Gallups, a fringe conspiracy theorist who spoke at Trump campaign rallies during the 2016 election and who served as a “special deputy” on disgraced sheriff Joe Arpaio’s “Cold Case Posse” investigation into Obama’s birth certificate, said that Trump’s speech was “epic” and “mesmerizing” and “genius” and “Reagan on steroids” and that those who watched it were to treated to seeing “history being made.”

“I’ve never experienced a State of the Union address like that in my lifetime,” Gallups said, “and there are historians saying that it may be one of the very best ever.”

“There is so much supernatural on this man,” he added. “I mean, God has His hand on this man … From his very election to where we are now—and everything that has happened in between—God has His hand on this man.”

Well there you have it – demons do walk among us!!!! And that is the only sign from GAWD that you need! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Advertising Fails
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[br] B

Advertising. That thing you go out of your way to avoid, and the advertisers don’t know or care that you don’t want to hear them. No, we don’t have a love – hate relationship with advertising. Most of us have a hate-hate relationship with advertising. Unless I can get some sponsors for my show, then I will love you! So why am I talking about advertising? Well the holy mecca of advertising was this Sunday – of course the Super Bowl . And then there was the Dodge RAM. Now before you boo or hiss, let’s play the commercial first and explain later.

OK now you can boo! Yeah let’s take it in for a minute. Now let’s go over the criticism for the commercial in question.

The online blowback was swift for Ram on Sunday after the carmaker used a sermon given by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as the voice-over for a Super Bowl ad.

The general sentiment: Did the company really just use Dr. King’s words about the value of service to sell trucks?

The commercial showed scenes of people helping others while Dr. King extolled the virtues of service. At the end, the phrase “Built to Serve” was shown on the screen, along with the Ram logo.

“MLK wanted equal rights and for me to buy a Dodge Ram,” one Twitter user wrote. Another wrote: “Black people cant kneel and play football but MLK should be used to sell trucks during the super bowl. Unbelievable.”

I have a dream! A dream that one day we will all be able to buy Dodge RAM pickup trucks for low APR financing and great monthly rates! See? See that Top 10 audience? See that only proves my theory that advertising ruins everything! Thank you! Want further proof? Go to any college football stadium. My team – the UCLA Bruins – has signs everywhere saying “no gambling”. Go inside, and there’s ads for Draft Kings everywhere. So I’m getting mixed signals there. Moving on and switching subjects here, this next one asks “who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?”. Ladies, how do you like your Doritos?

Food companies are always attempting to innovate and update their snacks, creating ever-weirder Frankenstein products (remember Burger King’s “Whoperrito?) and introducing novelty flavors (hello, “firework” Oreos). And then there are the products catering directly to specific consumer segments. Today’s example: new chips from Doritos meant just for ladies.

In an interview with Freakonomics, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi commented on the ways that consumer insights about gender differences are driving product development in the world of Doritos. Women, Nooyi suggested, “don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”

The company’s answer? The brand has been working on developing chips that are “low-crunch” with the same “taste profile,” but with less of the flavor sticking to fingers. “And how can you put it in a purse?” Nooyi mused; apparently the current chip bags aren’t cutting it for the handbag wielders of the world. “Because,” she said, “women love to carry a snack in their purse.”

“It’s not a male and female as much as ‘are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?’” Nooyi further explained. They won’t be the first to have tried it; there were those BIC pens for women, too. Doritos is preparing to launch its line of tailored-to-purse-carrying chips shortly. And the internet had feelings about this particular gendered innovation.

Yes, thank you nice lady! It is only sexist when men do it! So I’ve been wrong this whole time! I’m just kidding! JKI So the idea of Lady Doritos isn’t exactly catching on. I mean really? Is this where we’re at in 2018? We’re deciding that women eat chips differently than men? Did the CEO of PepsiCo watch too many 1950s newsreels?

Update at 2:30 p.m. ET on Feb. 6: After coverage of Doritos designed for women spread, the company told AdAge it is not working on a "specific Doritos product for female consumers" and said that "needs and preferences continue to evolve and we're always looking for new ways to engage and delight our consumers."

Indra Nooyi, the CEO of global giant PepsiCo, says her company is trying to solve women's "least favorite things" about Doritos by developing a version of the snack designed specifically for women.

In a recent interview with WNYC's Freakonomics, Nooyi discussed the different ways that men and women eat chips. Men "lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don't want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom," Nooyi said.

Now to play devil’s advocate for a minute, is it really that absurd that there’s this much backlash to a relatively simple product? Some say “maybe”.

The New York Post reported on Monday that PepsiCo is working on a new “lady-friendly” version of Doritos. The company’s market research has apparently revealed that women prefer not to crunch loudly and lick Dorito dust off their fingers in public, and they generally decline to upend the near-empty bag of chips and dump the flavor crumbs into their mouths. They also like to be able to carry their snacks in their purses. In response, PepsiCo is developing a snack chip that will be less crunchy and messy to eat.

The Post’s article felt as perfectly engineered to troll as a triangular Dorito chip is engineered to please. The objections to “Lady Doritos,” as the internet quickly dubbed them, were many and obvious. Women already enjoy regular Doritos! The very notion of chips “for her” is condescending and absurd! Less-crunchy chips are by definition inferior! The new Doritos are unlikely to solve the problem of pay inequality!

As a woman who loves Doritos, the backlash surprised me. I do want a single serving of chips that I can throw in my purse without worrying it will get crushed. I enjoy the intense flavor of Dorito dust as any other nacho-cheese-blooded American, but Nooyi is right that I don’t love licking it off my fingers in public. Admittedly, the low-crunch idea seems confusing but I fully trust America’s best snack designers to make it appealing in ways I don’t yet understand.

But apparently the backlash caused PepsiCo to cancel the planned launch of Lady Doritos:

NEW YORK — Don't expect to see "lady Doritos" on store shelves anytime this century. PepsiCo (PEP), the company behind the cheesy chips, denied on Tuesday that it was developing a line of Doritos designed specifically for women, after widespread online speculation that it was.
Are "lady Doritos" real?

The phrase "lady Doritos" trended on social media after PepsiCo's longtime CEO, Indra Nooyi, said on a podcast that unlike men, women don't like to lick their fingers after eating a bag of Doritos.

"Women would love to do the same, but they don't," Nooyi said in an interview on the Freakonomics podcast. "They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers generously and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth."

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[font size="8"] The Cleveland Indians
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It’s time to play a game of “Is It Racist”? This week – we’re going to talk some baseball. Specifically The Cleveland Indians logo. Is it racist? Well we’re going to show you, then you can draw your own conclusions. The Cleveland Indians logo – Chief Wahoo – has been around since practically the team itself. So is the Chief Wahoo logo really that offensive? I mean well, probably. So here’s what is happening in Cleveland.

The Cleveland Indians will stop using the Chief Wahoo logo on their uniforms beginning in 2019, according to Major League Baseball, which said the popular symbol was no longer appropriate for use on the field.

The logo has long been the source of anguish and frustration for those who consider it offensive, outdated and racist, but for many of the team’s fans it is a cherished insignia — a divide that has played out at all levels of sports in recent years with teams featuring such nicknames and insignias. Most universities have stopped using Native American nicknames, while other teams, like the Washington Redskins in the N.F.L., have resisted growing pressure to do so.

Chief Wahoo, a cartoonish caricature of a Native American that has assumed several forms over the years, first appeared on the Indians’ uniforms in 1948. In recent decades various groups across North America have appealed to the team to renounce the logo, to no avail. But over the past year the commissioner of baseball, Rob Manfred, has pressured Paul Dolan, Cleveland’s chairman and chief executive, to make a change.

Citing a goal of diversity and inclusion, Manfred said in a statement provided to The New York Times that the Indians organization “ultimately agreed with my position that the logo is no longer appropriate for on-field use in Major League Baseball, and I appreciate Mr. Dolan’s acknowledgment that removing it from the on-field uniform by the start of the 2019 season is the right course.”

That is a pretty good point. So the question remains – is the Cleveland Indians logo racist? Yeah the trend is diversity and inclusion, which we’re all about here at the Top 10. Unlike what the Alt Right thinks, diversity is what really makes America great! So let’s delve into the history of Chief Wahoo for a bit.

In 1932, the front page of the Plain Dealer featured a cartoon by Fred George Reinert that used a caricatured Native American character with a definite resemblance to the later Chief Wahoo as a stand-in for the Cleveland Indians winning an important victory. The character came to be called "The Little Indian," eventually becoming a fixture in the paper's coverage of the team, including a small front-page visual box where his head would peek out to announce the outcome of the latest game. Journalist George Condon would write in 1972, "When the baseball club decided to adopt an Indian caricature as its official symbol, it hired an artist to draw a little guy who came very close to Reinert's creation; a blood brother, unquestionably."

Yeah sounds about right. So yeah it came out of a cartoon drawn in the 1930s. And considering how racist America actually was during that time, that might be considered to be a little racist. Now you might be asking yourself “it’s all well and good but what do actual Indians think?” Well I answer you with this:

BONIFAY, Fla. (WJHG/WECP) - One local Muskogee Creek Indian and store owner is speaking out after the Cleveland Indians announced last week they'd be removing Chief Wahoo from their baseball uniforms come next year.

Major League Baseball said the logo is no longer appropriate to use in the sport after years of protest from some Native American groups who said it was "offensive" and "racist."

Beth Gates, the owner of Two Feathers Trading Post in Bonifay, said while she's not a fan of the logo she believes they should leave it alone.

"Originally, I think the owners of those teams gave that name to honor the warrior spirit. Long ago about every nation had ball games of some kind and they would settle disputes," she explained.

Gates said she doesn't think changing the uniforms and helmets is a beneficial move.

Well that is a good point. But whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? So an actual Native American doesn’t think the Indians should remove the Chief Wahoo logo? What? Dude, this controversy just gets weirder and weirder! So they don’t think it should be removed. But what about historians? What do they think? Let’s ask one and find out!

Since 1948, the Cleveland Indians’ uniforms have been adorned with the team’s official logo: a cartoonish, grinning Native American man known to fans as “Chief Wahoo.” On Monday, however, Major League Baseball announced that the team would be retiring the logo, finally heeding the demands of protestors who have decried Chief Wahoo as racist and offensive to Native Americans.

Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred said in a statement that the popular symbol will be removed from team uniforms by 2019—the same year that Cleveland will host the All Star Game. Chief Wahoo will also no longer be seen on banners and signs at Progressive Field, the Indians’ stadium.

In the statement, Manfred noted that Paul Dolan, Cleveland’s chairman and chief executive, expressed concerns that doing away with the logo would upset fans “who have a longstanding attachment to the logo and its place in the history of the team.” But he went on to say that “the club ultimately agreed with my position that the logo is no longer appropriate for on-field use in Major League Baseball.”

Paul Chaat Smith, an associate curator at the National Museum of the American Indian (and a self-professed baseball fan), is unambiguous in his thoughts about Chief Wahoo. “It’s an outrageous, racist caricature,” he tells Smithsonian.com. “And what’s worse is that in the city of Cleveland in Northern Ohio, it’s really the only visible representation you see of Native Americans ... That’s where it becomes this very insidious phenomenon that puts Indians completely in the past as a caricature.”

Read more: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/smithsonian-curator-weighs-cleveland-indians-decision-retire-racist-logo-180968001/#rG4vU5AWFTv2O4Hp.99

OK that might be a little racist. But there’s got to be something – something that indicates why the Indians are getting rid of Chief Wahoo, and that reason might be why the Indians are removing it. If it’s not racism, then what is it?

he Cleveland Indians' decision, with a strong push from Major League Baseball, to remove Chief Wahoo from their uniforms after the 2018 season brought heated reactions from both sides of a decades-long debate over a logo that's been criticized as racist because of its depiction of a red-faced, wide-grinned Native American.

Indians fans who, in the words of owner Paul Dolan, "have a longstanding attachment to Chief Wahoo" were upset at a move that was announced Monday, Jan. 29. They took to social media and online comment sections to threaten to cancel their season tickets, though it's unlikely that anger will result in meaningful gate losses for the Tribe.

And plenty of the Chief Wahoo opponents — of which there are many, especially nationally — said the Indians' move wasn't enough, because the club isn't doing away with the logo until 2019 and can still profit from the sales of Wahoo gear.

While the insignia has been associated with Cleveland's baseball team for more than seven decades, the attachment is significantly more emotional than it is a booming business for the big-league club.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s now time for a new installment of:

And man do I need a drink this week! I mean come on, Trump released the memo you guys! And it’s turned out to be… a spectacular fail. So tell me, bartender, what’s a good drink to enjoy with an emotional support peacock? A Mai Tai? Sure, that sounds good! I’ll have one! Don’t skimp on the vodka please! Look people, I know traveling can be stressful. But that’s only if you let it. I mean come on if traveling wigs you out, take it like a man. Pound a few beers at the airport bar and then pass out watching a Z grade in flight movie on the monitors in front of you! So this latest round of crazy shit happening on airplanes has spawned an interesting debate – what counts as an “emotional support animal”? Let’s explain further:

There are no restrictions on the kinds of animals that you can describe as emotional support animals. But now, United Airlines has joined Delta in restricting people from taking any old pet on planes under that classification.

This review comes on the tail of a recent, bizarre controversy where an artist tried to bring her “emotional support peacock” on board a United flight, and the airline denied her.

The peacock was apparently the last straw, but the new rules have been under consideration for a long time. In 2017, passengers flying United Airlines declared 76,000 animals as “emotional support animals,” up from 43,000 in 2016, a United spokesperson told USA Today.

Previously, United only required 48 hours advance notice and a note from a medical professional stating that the animal has to accompany their owner. Now, passengers have to provide more documents, including a statement from a vet saying that the animal is trained to behave in public settings and is healthy.

The new rules will come into effect on March 1, 2018, on the same day that Delta will start enforcing similar rules. That airline also experienced a surge in people bringing animals on board and claiming them as service animals. Perhaps most famously, in 2000, US Airways kicked an “emotional support pig” off a flight because it was 300 pounds and defecating on the plane.

Yes WTF LOL indeed. I mean a peacock seriously? And how would you like to be the passenger sitting next to whoever has the peacock? If I’m flying coach the last thing I want to be subjected to is a tray full of bird crap. And I’m not counting the food being served. Hey o! Thank you I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress! So this has spawned an interesting debate – what counts as an emotional support animal?

First, it's important to note that registered service animals have more legal rights—and public social support—than emotional support animals at this time.

Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), a service animal is, legally, a dog "trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities."

Guiding people who are blind, alerting people who or deaf, protecting someone with a seizure, or calming someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are examples of the services registered service dogs might provide. And in the U.S., service dogs are legally allowed to go anywhere their owners go.


The latter requires housing providers to make "reasonable accommodations" for emotional support animals, and pet owners are not required to provide an exhaustive medical record. This includes anything from public housing to university dorms.

Under the Air Carrier Access Act, airlines must allow passengers to carry emotional support animals on a plane with no extra fee. To qualify, passengers must produce a letter from a licensed therapist or physician. But it's a rule that many people, such as the popular travel blog Live and Let Fly, now say is being abused by some pet owners trying to avoid paying boarding costs.

So let’s get this straight – airlines must allow passengers to carry emotional support animals. Now let’s make one thing clear – I get a dog or a cat. I’m fine with that. Airlines are even fine with that. But a peacock? Not an emotional support animal. A pig? A frog? A squirrel? Stop it. Madness. What? We’ve got our own emotional support animal right here! Where’s Trumpy at?

Yay Trumpy, our emotional support parrot is back! How about a round of applause right? So now at least the good thing is that airlines are cracking down on this nonsense:

If you were planning to bring a hedgehog on to a flight as a form of emotional support, you might have to think again.

Hedgehogs have been included on a banned list - as airlines get tougher over soaring demands from anxious passengers wanting to travel with "emotional support animals".

United Airlines say requests have risen by 75% to 76,000 in a year.

The airline recently had to turn down a request to travel with a peacock.

But a spokeswoman for the airline says that even before turning away the peacock at Newark airport in the US, there had been recognition that the rules needed to be tightened.

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #3: El Salvador
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]El Salvador[/font]

Those responsible for this tour schedule have been sacked. So we went from the Carribbean to Africa to Central America. Some very long ass flights! And then we’re off to Chile next to make up for the date that we missed last year, and we forgot to add in a date or two. So yeah those responsible have been fully sacked. Yeah it’s been a disaster so far but we blame our current president for that. Oh that’s right, I’m rambling again. Let’s get back to El Salvador. It’s a tiny central American country with roots dating back to the ancient Mayans. You can actually view real Mayan ruins. They have some extremely beautiful beaches as well. And mountains – it’s home to some of the best skiing in Central America! It even has some amazing castles and tourist attractions. So this should be the perfect tourist attraction. Let’s put it through our world tour filter and see how it stacks up! What else is El Salvador the home of?

On the surface, Vanessa and Enrique Velasco look like they are living the American Dream. The two immigrants, both from El Salvador—they met as teenagers while both were taking business-studies courses at the university in San Salvador—live in a large, newly constructed, and spotless house in the suburban community of Brentwood, half an hour south of Oakland, California. They have made sure that the house reflects their personalities: In the hallway, just inside the front door, is a large foosball table. Hanging above the fireplace in the living room, when I visited a few days before the new year, were the family’s five Christmas stockings, each one embroidered with a name in red. In 2016, they began thinking about buying a second home as an investment property. Over the years they have saved money: in retirement accounts, in education funds for their kids. Now, finally, in their late 30s, they feel a bit more financially secure, able to dress in stylish clothes, to drive nice cars.

Yes because who loves to fire people more than Trump does? Hey he’s not deporting millions of people from America – he’s firing them! Just like a good business dictator would! But what would set Trump off like that? What’s his nemesis? I know! MS13!

In the middle of December 2017, the Trump administration announced a new National Security Strategy (NSS). It is a series of premises and objectives based on the doctrine of political realism (as explicitly assumed in the document), oriented towards “reestablishing America’s position of power in the world”. It summarizes the goals to follow in order to protect “American interests” – which are the interests of a privileged and influential decision-making minority, though they seem to be presented as “the interests of the American people”.

It is important to note that one of the characteristics of the Trump administration in terms of foreign policy is the gap between incendiary discourse, full of threats and vehement rhetoric, and its decision-making, which on occasion tends to minimize such positions – from the supposed punishment it was to inflict upon the Chinese, to the threat to immediately leave the North American

Free Trade Agreement and its apparently “total” opposition to free trade – such that the NSS must also be read within the framework of this distance between statements and facts that has come to mold an uncertain and unpredictable foreign policy.

Hey only Trump has the hiring and firing power here, Ron! So what else is happening in El Salvador? By the way, while we’re on the subject, could you name the capital of El Salvador? Does it really matter at this point? You sir? San Salvador. Great. Thank you sir! No, this isn’t a quiz show! Moving on!

SAN SALVADOR/GENEVA (6 February 2018) – El Salvador must urgently take more effective steps to prevent arbitrary deprivation of life and bring an end to the vicious cycle of impunity that enables these crimes, a UN human rights expert said.

At the end of an official visit to El Salvador, Agnes Callamard, the UN’s Special Rapporteur on extrajudicial, summary or arbitrary executions, highlighted El Salvador’s complex and longstanding security challenges, including one of the highest rates of murder in the world, the majority of which are attributed to gangs. She expressed her grave concerns about the endemic and pervasive fears and insecurity that prevail in the country in an end-of-mission statement.

"During my visit, I met fathers and mothers who have lost their sons to violence, and young women who have been subjected repeatedly to sexual violence; young men deeply traumatized by their experience of violence, grandparents living in constant fear of the day their grandchildren will be forcibly recruited into violence.” she said.

Yeah sorry to tell you, Salvadoran – Americans, you’re all fired. Well at least if our president gets his way, and he most likely will. I mean is there anything good coming out of El Salvador? Anything? Well they’re finally joining the rest of the world in upgrading to 4G!

LUXEMBOURG, Feb. 6, 2018 /PRNewswire/ -- Millicom International Cellular S.A. ("Millicom", announced today that its subsidiary Telemovil El Salvador S.A. de C.V. ("Tigo El Salvador" has agreed to sell up to approximately 800 wireless communications towers to a subsidiary of SBA Communications Corporation ("SBA" in El Salvador. As a result of the transaction, Tigo El Salvador will receive approximately US$145 million in cash.

Additionally, the two companies have entered into a long-term agreement whereby SBA will provide Tigo El Salvador with wireless communications towers to support the company's wireless networks and rollout plans. The transaction is expected to create savings in both capital and operating expenditures for Tigo El Salvador. The specific number of towers and final purchase price will be determined once the various closings have taken place, which are subject to customary closing conditions.

Mauricio Ramos, Chief Executive Officer of Millicom said: "We continue to deliver towards our strategy of growing our mobile data and cable revenue with a focus on Latin America, while enhancing our capital efficiency. Our agreement with SBA, which has a significant presence throughout the Americas, is in alignment with this strategy and with our aim to work with strong partners that can help us provide superior connectivity to our customers in the region."

Trust me – El Salvador, you’ll enjoy 4G but don’t overdo it like we have! Well we’ll keep an eye on the MS13 situation as it looks like it’s about to escalate in Boston and possibly create an international incident out of it. And if you guessed Trump knows almost nothing about MS13, you would be absolutely correct!:

During his State of the Union speech, Trump referred to the gang as "savage" and said two teenage girls in New York state were "brutally murdered" by members.

Four suspected members of the notoriously violent MS-13 gang, founded by Salvadoran immigrants, are now on trial after a federal judge in Boston denied a request to delay the case to ensure critical remarks made by U.S. President Donald Trump this week did not prejudice jurors.

Federal prosecutors allege that Herzzon Sandoval and Edwin Guzman were leaders of a Massachusetts-based MS-13 "clique" called Eastside Loco Salvatrucha. They are charged with racketeering conspiracy, along with Cesar Martinez and Erick Argueta Larios.

Thursday's opening statements took place two days after Trump sharply condemned MS-13 in his speech to Congress. The White House blames the gang's existence mostly on illegal immigration from Central America.

MS-13, which started in Los Angeles in the 1980s, has since grown into a cross-border criminal organization with leadership in Salvador that has 30,000 members worldwide and 10,000 in the United States, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Trump, during Tuesday's address, called on Congress to close "deadly loopholes that have allowed MS-13, and other criminals, to break into our country."

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

So is El Salvador a shithole? Honestly we couldn’t really find any information for this subject and we were hard pressed for time. So we’ll say probably!

Tourism: C
Culture: C
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: C

Overall: C

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Continuing our nonsense tour schedule to find Trump’s perfect shithole (not counting his mouth), we’re going back to South America to visit Chile! Is Chile a shithole? Only one way to find out!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Legendary Roots Crew[/font]

Kicking off our Black History Month celebration, we have one of my all time favorites playing tonight! Now playing their classic song “The Fire” from their album “How I Got Over”, give it up for the Legendary Roots Crew!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-4: State Of The Uniom Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-4: State Of The Uniom Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Switch to the Top 10 today and save $620 a year on your car insurance! We are back everybody! You know let’s start on a positive note. I don’t want you to think this show is about negativity. I want to make you some money – yes, I’m not just in it for the money, but I’m also in it to make you money. So let’s talk about some gambling. Specifically the Big Game is this weekend – Super Bowl 52! And think of it like the 1% vs the 99% - and the 1% are the New England Patriots of course. If you’ve been following the Top 10 you should know we’re not exactly on board the Brady train. But one of my favorite aspects of the Super Bowl is all the crazy bets you can place. And this year there are some particularly interesting entries in the world of gambling. For instance you can bet on whether or not Pink will be going airborne during her national anthem performance. You can also bet on how Justin Timberlake will start his halftime show – and the current odds on favorite is zipline! There’s another bet on which song Timberlake will start with, or whether there will be an N*SYNC reunion! And yes of course there’s the inevitable discussion on whether or not a wardrobe malfunction will occur. You can also bet on whether or not Trump will tweet about the game as it’s going on. Low ratings! Everybody must stand for the national anthem! Sad! There’s also an over / under on how many times Gisele Bundchen will be shown. Current favorite is 1.5 times, with “over” as the favorite. You can even bet on what color of Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach after it’s all said and done. There’s even a bet on whether or not Donovan McNabb’s infamous vomiting incident from the last time the Patriots and Eagles faced in the Super Bowl will be, um, brought up. But none of these prop bets really matter. My favorite one of all? You can actually bet on whether or not Tom Brady’s jersey will be stolen! Yes that’s right! So come on people of Minneapolis? Who’s brave enough to do this? Let’s get some Mission Impossible shit going here! OK enough of the intro. But first, Will Ferrell is back on Saturday Night Live and breaking out his awesome George W Bush impression:

Disclaimer: We are *NOT* going to cover the Larry Nasser story. Just like the Perris story, this is way too horrifying to make fun of, and we agree with the judge 100% on this. Making fun of this story would be beneath us, and we won’t go there. Now on with the show!

So we are going all in on “The Memo” this week, folks! Taking the number one slot this week of course is King Deplorable, Sean Hannity (1). Whew. Sean, keep doing what you're doing. He had quite the week this week. So while the rest of network TV was focused on Trump, Sean Hannity diverted the Fox News Nation’s attention to a car chase in Arizona where a white supremacist and sovereign citizen made the news. Yeah and this guy is a real gem too. In the second slot is the surveillance industry’s favorite Congressman Devin Nunes. And we have to tell the story of the memo, and it is pretty fucking spectacular because it so far has failed miserably and only stirred up the crazies. Speaking of stirring up the crazies, Alex Jones (3) takes the third spot. And he attempted to release his own memo, but it turns out that the one he released was already released. In the fourth slot is Donald Trump (4) and we’re going to recap his 2nd state of the union address, and it is going to be a spectacular fail. In the 5th slot is also Donald Trump and we’re going to tell you about how the Doomsday Clock has reached 2 minutes to midnight (cue Iron Maiden) and then tell you about how we got to this point. At number 6 is our favorite weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (6). And this time the religious right is making excuses for Trump’s behavior. And I think God is about to hear some real whoppers being told. Taking the seventh slot is the White Male Groper’s Club (7) and they’ve added a few new members – most notably billionaire casino mogul Steve Wynn. At number 8, we’re going to talk sports and specifically the launch of the new football league the XFL (8) by WWE’s Vince McMahon, and this new league is going to appeal to Fox News fans. We’ll explain more. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and we’ve actually got some booze related news. We’re going to introduce you to New York City bar owner Trigger Smith, who banned the use of the word literally. Finally this week we’re continuing the Shithole Edition of our World Tour 2018 and we’re going to the West African coastal nation of Ghana! Is it as fucked up as Trump says it is? Well there’s only one way to find out! Plus we’ve got some live music for you from Pittsburgh's premiere pop punk band Anti Flag. They have a great new album out called "American Fall". Buy it or get out of my audience! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Sean Hannity
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King Deplorable Sean Hannity has been quite prolific this week. First he claimed that California representative and tin foil hat model Devin Nunes has a “memo” that could bring down and jail members of the democratic party. But first I have to post this story which I saw on Monday and I laughed my ass off. So it turns out that Wikileaks founder and republican treason weasel Julian Assange attempted to contact Sean Hannity on Twitter IM to offer some dirt on the Russia investigation… and wound up IM’ing the wrong Sean Hannity!

At about 4 a.m. on Saturday morning, a couple hours after she started pretending to be Sean Hannity, Dell Gilliam says she got a direct message back from the head of Wikileaks, Julian Assange. That’s when she said she “kind of panicked.”

“I felt bad. He really thought he was talking to Sean Hannity,” said Gilliam.

Gilliam, a technical writer from Texas, was bored with the flu when she created @SeanHannity__ early Saturday morning. The Fox News real account was temporarily deleted after cryptically tweeting the phrase “Form Submission 1649 | #Hannity” on Friday night. Twitter said the account had been “briefly compromised,” according to a statement provided to The Daily Beast, and was back up on Sunday morning.

When Gilliam made the account, she did not expect to be setting up a meeting over “other channels” for Assange to send “some news about Warner,” an apparent reference to Sen. Mark Warner, the top Democrat on the Senate intelligence committee investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election.

More and worth the read: https://www.thedailybeast.com/julian-assange-thought-he-was-messaging-sean-hannity-when-he-offered-news-on-democrat-investigating-trump-russia?ref=home

Thank you Sound Effects Guy! So when you’re Sean Hannity and you make such a grandiose claim about jailing members of the other side, what do you do?

Sean Hannity has suggested there are powerful people at the FBI and Department of Justice (DOJ) who should be investigated and “probably” thrown in jail over alleged corruption.

The Fox News host delivered a bombastic rant that slammed the probe into Hillary Clinton’s emails, as well as the much-discussed memo that reportedly details abuse and misuse of government authority under the Foreign Intelligence Service Act (FISA).

In a monologue that saw Hannity link events back to when “Hillary Clinton rigged the primary,” the host said the rule of law had been ignored and said Bernie Sanders supporters “should be pissed.”

“They ignore the rule of law, the Constitution, and Clinton and the DNC that she control then spend over $12 million to influence the election with a bought-and-paid-for dossier full of Russian lies and propaganda that was shipped off to the compliant media,” he said.

“The Obama administration weaponize the powerful tools of intelligence that we need to keep our country safe, but in this case, they used it to target members of the Trump campaign. This, so you understand, is so much bigger than Watergate,” he continued.


Seriously even Penn is telling you to shut the fuck up! And when he tells you to shut the fuck up, he means it! So apparently if you watch Fox News – and if you’re watching my crappy little program I’m guessing you don’t – you should know that Sean Hannity’s name frequently turns up in the most retweeted stories by Russian owned bot accounts:

Soon after Donald Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn agreed to a plea deal with special counsel Robert Mueller on Dec. 1, Kremlin-linked trolls began ramping up their social-media attacks on the Russia investigation. They tweeted out dozens of articles from Fox News and far-right outlets aimed at undermining the credibility of the FBI, the Department of Justice, and the so-called deep state. And Vladimir Putin’s trolls would soon have a new vein of material to exploit.

As Christmas approached, a drumbeat against the FBI grew louder in certain quarters of Congress: GOP Rep. Jim Jordan led the attack, claiming on Fox News that the FBI had conspired against Trump’s 2016 campaign. President Trump himself launched broadsides against FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe and “leakin’ James Comey.” And on December 20, Fox News star Sean Hannity tweeted “CONSPIRACY: GOP Lawmakers Says FEDERAL CONSPIRACY to Prevent Trump Presidency.”

That day, Hannity’s website ranked among the top 10 shared by the network of Twitter accounts linked to Russian influence campaigns and tracked by the nonpartisan Alliance for Securing Democracy on its national security project, the Hamilton 68 dashboard. Hannity content had not registered much previously—but since December 20, links from Hannity’s site have appeared frequently on the dashboard, often ranking among the top 10. “It’s now up there with other top most-shared domains,” says Bret Schafer, an analyst who monitors the dashboard for the Alliance.


I love that graphic! And of course the deplorable crowd is going to claim that the Mueller investigation is a Deep State Conspiracy. By the way I’m going to start a new band called Deep State Conspiracy tomorrow!

In recent months it has been widely reported that U.S. President Donald Trump is under investigation for colluding with Russia to influence the outcome of the 2016 presidential election. Special counsel Robert Mueller is reportedly also looking into allegations that President Trump is guilty of obstruction of justice when he fired former FBI Director James Comey. As anyone who follows Trump’s Twitter feed is well aware, the president claims that the Mueller investigation amounts to nothing more than a politically inspired “witch hunt.” President Trump claims that any suggestion that he conspired with the Russians is “fake news.”

Throughout Trump’s election campaign, and in the period since his inauguration, the president has frequently tweeted his praise for right-leaning outlet Fox News while condemning any story critical of him as “fake news.” As recently reported by BBC News, during his first year in office, President Trump posted 1,238 critical messages, 196 of those messages were critical of the mainstream media. During the same period, Trump posted just 527 messages of praise. Of those messages, 79 praised the military or veterans, while 35 praised Fox News or its presenters.

Yeah really, Hannity, STFU. I mean really with enemies like these, who needs friends? They’re seriously treading into stalker territory here. I mean what would happen if they really did jail the opposition? Are they really willing to go there? But this might be my favorite Hannity news ever. So of course he is caught up in the Russia probe – and he might be next on Mueller’s list!

Soon after Donald Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn agreed to a plea deal with special counsel Robert Mueller on Dec. 1, Kremlin-linked trolls began ramping up their social-media attacks on the Russia investigation. They tweeted out dozens of articles from Fox News and far-right outlets aimed at undermining the credibility of the FBI, the Department of Justice, and the so-called deep state. And Vladimir Putin’s trolls would soon have a new vein of material to exploit.
As Christmas approached, a drumbeat against the FBI grew louder in certain quarters of Congress: GOP Rep. Jim Jordan led the attack, claiming on Fox News that the FBI had conspired against Trump’s 2016 campaign. President Trump himself launched broadsides against FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe and “leakin’ James Comey.” And on December 20, Fox News star Sean Hannity tweeted “CONSPIRACY: GOP Lawmakers Says FEDERAL CONSPIRACY to Prevent Trump Presidency.”
That day, Hannity’s website ranked among the top 10 shared by the network of Twitter accounts linked to Russian influence campaigns and tracked by the nonpartisan Alliance for Securing Democracy on its national security project, the Hamilton 68 dashboard. Hannity content had not registered much previously—but since December 20, links from Hannity’s site have appeared frequently on the dashboard, often ranking among the top 10. “It’s now up there with other top most-shared domains,” says Bret Schafer, an analyst who monitors the dashboard for the Alliance.

So when you’re faced with this news, the typical Fox News protocol is to yell “SQUIRREL!!!” and immediately change the subject. Yes, Fox News is the “Squirrel!” network. While the other networks do things like facts and research, Fox News will find anything else to talk about. So they went to a car chase in Arizona. That’s right – they divert, you do… something that rhymes with “divert”.

Don’t get too eager to see a format change, however. After sheepishly coming forth with Henry’s confirmation, Hannity didn’t appear too interested in prolonging his correction. Instead, he went to another pressing story: “We have a shocking video of the day to bring you, by the way. This footage comes to us from Arizona where — you see that red SUV, high-speed police chase? Ultimately the suspect’s vehicle slams into another car, flips several times before coming to a stop. The driver eventually comes out of the car — the wrecked vehicle — but instead of running, he stands around until police arrive and then promptly arrested him,” said Hannity.

Yeah so in typical Fox News fashion they did the thing where they yell SQUIRREL!!! But what they weren’t prepared for was the gem of a citizen they accidentally unearthed. And let’s shed a bit more light on this individual.

A 31-year-old man suspected of leading officers on a police chase that crisscrossed Phoenix-area freeways and ended in a head-on crash Wednesday morning has "anti-government views," officials said Wednesday.

Troopers with the Arizona Department of Public Safety took Mitchell Timothy Taebel into custody following the crash that sent one woman to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries near the Arizona State University Tempe campus, officials said.

A statement released later in the day by DPS said that the agency was "aware that Mr. Taebel has anti-government views."

Taebel's personal website states that the U.S. Department of Justice is "unconstitutional" and links to an Indiana court record from earlier this month showing that Taebel sued the government for prohibiting marijuana use.

The document deemed marijuana prohibition unconstitutional.

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[font size="8"]Devin Nunes
[br] [/font]

So the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and guy whose Windows logon password is most likely “password”, Devin Nunes (R-Nutjob) has also been extremely prolific this week. The story goes that he authored a memo. Yes, a memo that he and Russian bots everywhere claim could bring down the entire democratic party. These people are fucking nuts if they think they can get away with this and not have it be considered an act of war. Because it very well could be an act of war!

Republican lawmakers have said texts that the Justice Department gave to Congress last week, supplementing another set that lawmakers received last year, show pervasive political bias against Mr. Trump. Republicans also portrayed phrases in the texts, including a reference to a “secret society” in the F.B.I., as hints of a conspiracy to sabotage him.

“The texts between Strzok and Page referenced a ‘secret society,’” Representative John Ratcliffe, Republican of Texas, wrote on Twitter, adding: “It’s clear from the thousands of texts we reviewed that Strzok and Page held a manifest bias against @realDonaldTrump in favor of Hillary Clinton and showed an intent to act upon that bias.”

Other people familiar with the texts agreed that they showed the two officials expressing many negative opinions about Mr. Trump and his team — like declaring “what a disaster” after learning that Jeff Sessions would be the attorney general.

Yes… WTF lol. You claim to have evidence to a “secret society” that calls itself a “secret society”? Really, Devin? You don’t make your internet password as “password”, do you? We should just call this Memogate. Or how I learned to stop worrying and love Russia. Even Fox News is pissed off at this, and you don’t want to piss them off!

Fox News host Shepard Smith slammed Republican Rep. Devin Nunes on Thursday for pushing the narrative that the FBI and the Department of Justice are biased against President Donald Trump.

Nunes, the chair of the House Intelligence Committee, helped write a controversial memo that purports to detail illegal surveillance by the Obama administration during the transition period after Trump's 2016 election. Some Republicans are pushing the Trump administration to allow Nunes' committee to publicly release the document.

"A memo can be a weapon of partisan mass distraction," Smith said on his daytime news program, 'Shepard Smith Reporting.' "Especially at a pivotal moment in American history when it behooves the man in charge for supporters to believe the institutions can’t be trusted, investigators are corrupt, and the news media are liars. Context matters."

Yeah when Fox News and republicans fight, you can watch on the sidelines but don’t get too comfortable! And I love how they’re just being out in the open about this. Yeah we’re going after a Secret Society that calls itself Secret Society. Hey guys, you ever get the impression that the phrase “secret society” implies that they might, I don’t know, work in secret? I’m just guessing!

Attacks by Donald Trump on US intelligence agencies were taken up and amplified by the US right at full volume this week, as special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation moves closer to the president.

The targets of the rightwing ruckus were the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Mueller, and anyone else involved in assessing Russia’s assault on US election systems, which intelligence agencies say constitute an ongoing emergency but which Trump has dismissed as exaggerated.

Trump said on Thursday that he was “looking forward” to being interviewed by Mueller about Russia and that the interview could take place within the next “two or three weeks”.

Yeah wait a minute, don’t think we’re letting you get away with this one, smart guy! You know Trump interviewing Mueller is going to be the Tom Brady’s hand of political psych-out moves. I mean come on there’s no way he could have won that game if his hand was injured! But you know the underlying irony in all of this? The party that’s calling the left “anti-police” is doing everything it can to discredit the actual police!

Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee are on the verge of defying the Department of Justice and voting to release a classified memo they say will reveal misconduct by senior FBI officials involved in investigating President Donald Trump's campaign.

POLITICO contacted or reviewed statements by the committee’s 13 Republicans, and found near-unanimous support for making public the memo, which Democrats call a misleading effort to discredit special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into Trump’s ties to Russia.

A vote by the committee — expected as soon as Wednesday — to release the controversial document would put its fate into the hands of President Donald Trump, who has not taken a clear position on its public disclosure.

The committee sentiment suggests that House Republicans are unfazed by a top Justice Department official’s warning that doing so without first consulting the department would be “extraordinarily reckless,” and underscores the GOP’s determination to shift attention from Russian election influence onto alleged anti-Trump bias among federal Russia investigators.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Whew. This is going to be a very long fucking year people. And I need a drink. As evidenced already by Sean Hannity’s epic display of lunacy. As if that couldn’t get any weirder, wait until you get a load of what Alex Jones did this week. You know Alex Jones – the Infowars guy and guy who secretly blows a cartoon-style gasket when we’re not looking. He’s your creepy uncle’s creepy uncle. And his side is doing everything it can to discredit the Mueller investigation. So we’re continuing from the previous entry on Devin Nunes here.

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) won’t #releasethememo. The now infamous document was prepared by Republican staffers for the House Intelligence Committee, which is chaired by Nunes, and it supposedly details how the FBI and the Justice Department improperly conducted surveillance in connection with the Trump-Russia probe. Conservatives looking to discredit the Russia investigation have embraced the classified memo, though they haven’t seen it, and have called for its release. But Nunes has so far insisted on keeping it secret—even from the Justice Department.

“We requested to see the memo and have not been given access to read it,” a Justice Department source tells Mother Jones. The FBI has also been denied access to the document, the Daily Beast revealed on Sunday.

The memo reportedly asserts that federal officials abused their power by seeking a warrant targeting a Trump campaign adviser under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) without disclosing that evidence cited in the application relied on research by former British spy Christopher Steele. The ex-MI6 officer, who once ran the spy agency’s Russia desk, was working for a firm that was paid by Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee.

OK so Devin Nunes won’t release the memo. But you know who did? Alex Jones. And man he claims he has some high up sources. I mean never mind that Trump talks to him directly. “FAKE NEWS!!!”. You almost need a flow chart to explain the madness between Hannity, Nunes, and Jones. Can we get competent adults back in charge please?

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones purported to exclusively release a secret memo that Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) has touted which supposedly undermines the investigation into collusion between the Trump campaign in Russia. The document that Jones displayed on air during his January 23 show has actually been publicly available on a government website since at least May 2017.

Jones tried to do damage control later in the show, claiming that forces in the government hacked a computer in his offices to try to prevent him from releasing it, but that it wouldn’t work because “Trump already published it."

Nunes’ memo has been the subject of widespread speculation and triggered the right-wing social media campaign #releasethememo. According to Mother Jones, “The now infamous document was prepared by Republican staffers for the House Intelligence Committee, which is chaired by Nunes, and it supposedly details how the FBI and the Justice Department improperly conducted surveillance in connection with the Trump-Russia probe.”

The Mother Jones article added that “Conservatives looking to discredit the Russia investigation have embraced the classified memo, though they haven’t seen it, and have called for its release. But Nunes has so far insisted on keeping it secret -- even from the Justice Department.”

OK you trust people when you don’t trust people. Got it. So how could Alex have got his hands on a memo that even the author won’t release to the public? Is it because it’s a steaming load of Grade A bullshit? Or is it that there is no memo? Oh I know! It’s the wrong fucking memo!

ALEX JONES (HOST): I got to go off air because William Binney, former technical head of the National Security Agency, the main technical adviser obviously on the big film Snowden, who’s advised the president and the CIA director [Mike] Pompeo, he’s now advising the president, he’s going to be joining us next hour.

He just said, “Hey, here, why don’t you just have the actual memo they’re talking about.” Now there’s another memo they’re writing about this memo. But here it is, just sent to us. I’ve got to go off air, this is the classified memo right here. I mean, I told you I have sources and that I’d reverse engineered it, but I guess the decision has been made by whoever’s telling Binney to send this to us. Document cam please. And it’s -- a lot more is coming up after the break, OK, this is happening right now.

Can we do a document cam shot, please? Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the first look. You want to look at it? Got the whole thing. In fact, the rest of it’s coming out of the printer, guys, will you bring it to me please? The one by my office in the hall. Here it is, this is why I’m having trouble conducting the show here, broadcast.

Yeah this one actually is wrong! Oh and here’s the best part – Alex blames the error on… wait for it… hackers! Yay!!!!!

Later in his broadcast, perhaps aware of what he had done, Jones told a fantastical story about criminal elements in the government hacking a computer at his Infowars studio to try to stop him from publishing the document. Jones said, “I'm literally in [Infowars editor] Kit Daniels’ office. While we’re trying to post it, they grab control of the computer and turn it off and fry it right in front of us and then start jumping in -- they are inside our computers right now.”

Jones then claimed that the “globalists” “can't stop us from publishing it” because “Trump already published it, ... we haven't told you yet,” giving a possible pretext for his embarrassingly inaccurate claims earlier in the show.

Thank you Master Yoda! So Alex indeed fail at releasing a memo he thought was the real deal, and I bet the actual memo is going to be a nothing burger. Preferably with a side of treason. But then to move on, Alex Jones invited the guy who claimed he had the memo – Matt Gaetz, on to explain why he failed, and guess what? He’s tired of being called a conspiracy theorist! Cue the world’s tiniest violin!

Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida appeared on conspiracy theory outlet Infowars to complain that he is being called a conspiracy theorist for pushing the narrative that a secret memo by the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee proves that the Obama administration improperly sought to spy on Donald Trump and his presidential campaign.

Gaetz appeared on “The Alex Jones Show” today to discuss Republican calls to declassify a memo authored by Rep. Devin Nunes that some Republicans are saying proves claims that the Obama administration abused FISA laws to surveil Trump and his associate. The Republican push, which aims to cast doubt over special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into possible Russian interference in the 2016 election, has included flooding social media with the hashtag “#ReleaseTheMemo.”

“We’re called conspiracy theorists because we see this cabal right in front of us,” Gaetz said. “We’re able to aggregate these data points and show what was really going on. The reality is we’re just looking at the very messages that the people that were at the center of the Hillary Clinton investigation and the center of Robert Mueller’s investigation were saying to one another.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Anyone remember when we used to have competent leaders in charge? I mean there was a time in the United States where this did happen. Oh man do I miss those times! I mean here’s how incompetent the Trump administration is. This week was Trump’s first state of the union. And they can’t even get the invitations right!

President Trump is famously spelling-challenged, but this one was not his fault.

Mr. Trump is set to deliver his first State of the Union address on Tuesday, and the tickets issued to lawmakers’ spouses and guests contained a glaring typo: “State of the Uniom.” The tickets, printed by the Office of the Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper, had to be reissued on Monday.

“It was corrected immediately, and our office is redistributing the tickets,” a spokesman for the sergeant at arms told Agence France-Presse. The office did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Monday evening, and it was not clear how many tickets were affected.

You know what? Can we show those invitations? I mean it’s there in the writing!

That’s real. That is not Photoshopped. I repeat – that is not Photoshopped! At least Trump didn’t have Joy Villa on the red carpet! Remember last year when she wore that “Make America Great Again” dress? Well this year might have topped that, can we show that?

I seriously can’t tell if she is making a bold statement about abortion or auditioning for Bill Donahue’s Drag Race. I don’t know, I’m asking for a friend! But this might be one of the most startling statistics from the whole SOTU shindig last night:

PolitiFact’s website went down briefly during President Trump’s first State of the Union address. The fact-checking website tweeted at 9:49 p.m., about halfway through Trump’s speech, that the website had crashed.

“Welp ... our website just crashed,” PolitiFact tweeted. “Thanks for reading ?!!? We'll keep things up here on Twitter while we see what happened.”

PolitiFact fact-checked the president’s speech, writing that “several of his points were factually flawed.” They rated many of his claims about tax cuts as “mostly false” or “false.”

The organization had fact-checked nearly 500 of Trump’s statements before the State of the Union, rating 21 percent as “mostly false,” 33 percent as “false” and 15 percent as “pants on fire.”

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/media/371557-fact-checking-site-crashes-during-trump-state-of-the-union

Yes, Mr. Trump! You actually are wrong! In fact you lie so much that you actually crashed the website that does everything it can to prove that you’re wrong! But there is some good news. You know how much Trump loves him some ratings. “I have the best ratings, OK! They’re yuge!”. Well compared to last year’s SOTU? Guess what!

Donald Trump gave his first State of the Union on Tuesday night, his second formal address since taking office, and the presidential spiel naturally dominated evening ratings — though it seems to be off some from his first go in the House chamber in 2017.

Early returns, based on Nielsen's 56 metered markets, have the hour-plus speech pulling a combined 14.8 overnight rating among households on the broadcast networks. That's between 9 and 10:30 p.m., and only counts for four of the seven major networks bng the speech. Compared to the same stats for the same networks a year ago, that's off roughly 9 percent from his 2017 speech. (Trump's 2017 address pulled a combined 16 overnight rating among metered market households, ultimately earning 48 million viewers with all networks tallied.)

While that may be the best part of all of this, we haven’t even touched on the scariest part yet. He actually called for a real life purge. Yes and this was cheered! I mean even the producers of the actual Purge couldn’t have crafted a scarier scenario, and they’re in on the joke!

Yes that’s the actual poster for “The First Purge” which is scheduled to be out July 4th. But here’s what Trump actually said!

President Donald Trump spent the bulk of his first State of the Union address touting his tax policy and laying out an immigration proposal that would advance many white nationalist organizations’ top priorities.

Buried within the speech, however, was a proposal that would fundamentally rework the balance of power between civil servants and political appointees — and strike a deep blow to the rule of law in the process.

“I call on the Congress to empower every Cabinet Secretary with the authority to reward good workers,” Trump said, “and to remove Federal employees who undermine the public trust or fail the American people.”

On the surface, this proposal may seem benign — who doesn’t want public employees who “fail the American people” to be removed? But laws protecting civil servants against politically motivated firings are one of the foundations of liberal democracy.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yes if you don’t pledge your complete and undying loyalty to Der Trumpenfuror, you could possibly lose your job! I mean if this isn’t a sign that the US has become a fascist dictatorship, I don’t know what is! But here’s the best part. Here’s how he managed to top that:

WASHINGTON — President Trump challenged Democrats on Tuesday night to join him in overhauling immigration policies and in rebuilding the nation’s infrastructure in his first State of the Union address.

Speaking to a joint session of Congress, Mr. Trump hailed what he called the “extraordinary success” of his administration’s first year, and largely steered clear of the nationalist rhetoric, political attacks and confrontational tone that have been his calling cards both as a candidate and as a commander in chief.

“Tonight, I call upon all of us to set aside our differences, to seek out common ground and to summon the unity we need to deliver for the people,” Mr. Trump said to raucous applause from many Republicans, as Democratic leaders who have bitterly criticized his policies and messaging sat stone-faced in their seats.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Yeah says the guy who has threatened to jail his opponent and repeatedly calls her a stupid loser on an almost daily basis! I’m sure unity is the last thing you care about! But of course he talks about America First. Does he not know that’s a Nazi slogan?

Trump ran -- and won -- on the idea that he would always put our country first. And boy did he make good on that promise in his State of the Union address. For the first hour of the speech, Trump talked about nothing but domestic policy. Tax cuts. The economy. Trade. Regulatory reform. Immigration. Nary a mention of America's place in the world until after 10 pm on the east coast.

The signal was clear: Trump is not just using "America First" as a piece of rhetoric; he's heavily focused on making it a policy reality as well.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So Trump went to Switzerland this week, and got booed in front of a crowd of the world’s elite. You might be wondering how we got to this point. So now we got the madness of the SOTU out of the way, you know Donald Trump has severely hurt America’s standing in the world, right? I mean come on, the Doomsday Clock has literally moved to 2 Minutes To Midnight. I guess Iron Maiden can celebrate now, right?

On Wednesday, The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists announced they have moved the Doomsday Clock forward so it now rests 2 minutes before midnight.

The Doomsday Clock is a symbol which represents the likelihood of a human-made global catastrophe. Ever since 1998, when India and Pakistan started testing nuclear weapons, the Doomsday Clock has been just single digits away from midnight.

But after the disaster that was 2017, when world leaders failed to respond effectively to looming threats of nuclear war and climate change, scientists have moved the minute hand forward by 30 seconds.

So that being said, Trump has had a lot on his hands this week, and I’m not talking about his 2 Big Mac diet. But it might be bucket week this week. I don’t know, I am just guessing. I mean when you have friends like these, who needs enemies?

Following the passage of the GOP tax reform bill, a number of corporations have announced bonuses and wage increases for its employees, citing the tax cuts as the main reason. One company that handed out one-time bonuses was Home Depot. And the co-founder had some strong words for Democrats who have criticized these bonuses as “crumbs” and dismissed them as PR moves.

Appearing on Fox News Saturday, Bernie Marcus took aim at Democratic leaders, telling host Neil Cavuto that derisive comments about the bonuses will come back to haunt Democrats as it paints them as elitist. “These are things that the [Nancy] Pelosi and [Chuck] Schumer group don’t have a clue about. It’s why they lost the election, it’s as simple as that,” Marcus said. “[Hillary] Clinton never knew about the real people out there. That’s why they lost the election, and that’s why they’re going to lose the next election for the same reason.”

Towards the end of the interview, Marcus then straight up sad Democrats were brainless:

“You’ve got to use your brains! Democrats, use your stupid brains. You don’t have any brains!”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OK Marcus, let's think about this one for a minute. Your party controls all 3 branches of government and yet you can't get anything done. Maybe it is you who are the stupid ones? I mean come on liberals get blamed for everything! We even get blamed for people stupid enough to eat laundry detergent!

“I know what you’re thinking: The Tide Pod challenge couldn’t possibly be political, could it? Actually, yes it is,” Lahren said. “It’s just the latest symptom of a larger problem: The breakdown of the American family. It’s what happens when kids aren’t taught boundaries, respect, consequences or logic.”

Lahren said that parents have been taught to have a hands-off approach to raising children and that has made children “wild animals that think they can do whatever the heck they want.”

Lahren said America can thank liberals for teaching children that eating laundry soap is funny.

“The left, which dictates popular culture, brainwashes young people into believing they live in a world where 64 gender options are up for selection, everything is free, Beyoncé is a God queen, and eating detergent is funny.”

Yes, Tomi, you suck. I mean that’s the kind of thing fans of this wretched administration have done since they control all 3 branches of government! And since they do control all 3 branches of government you would think they would get something done, rather than blame the other side.

WASHINGTON — It’s almost fitting that, on the final day of President Trump’s first year in office, Washington is facing the real possibility of a partial government shutdown — especially given all of the stunning news events and chaos since Jan. 20, 2017. The “American Carnage” inaugural address. “Alternative facts.” The Comey firing. The Mueller probe. Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation. The legislative defeat on health care. The legislative victory on taxes. Charlottesville. The Alabama Senate race. “Shithole.” And now a likely shutdown.

But our new NBC/WSJ poll is a reminder that Trump’s first year in office didn’t have to be this way. Back in our Dec. 2016 poll, respondents were asked which word best described how they felt about the results of the election, and the top answers (allowing for multiple responses) were “hopeful” (32 percent), “disgusted” (25 percent), “scared” (23 percent), “excited” (12 percent) and “relieved” (11 percent).

But when we asked the same question about how Americans feel about Trump’s first year as president in our latest poll out this morning, here were the top responses: “disgusted” (38 percent), “scared” (24 percent), “hopeful” (23 percent), “proud” (12 percent) and “angry” (11 percent).

Yes because we still have to look at your ugly mug! But now that you know how we got here, picture what happened when Trump took that miraculous trip to Davos over the weekend when he was mingling with those icky globalist elite pedophiles!

DAVOS, Switzerland — No one was declaring President Trump a changed man. Privately, executives and global leaders who had gathered in Davos continued to worry that the American president could yet indulge his worst instincts — and his penchant for shock on Twitter — to deliver a geopolitical crisis, open up a new front in trade hostilities or offend a vast group of people.

But a rough consensus emerged over Mr. Trump’s two-day visit that his administration had shown itself to be more pragmatic than advertised. Many were inclined to view the president’s most extreme positions as just aggressive bargaining postures.

“There’s a very constructive mind-set in the Trump administration to find the best path forward,” said Vas Narasimhan, global chief of drug development for Novartis, who attended a dinner Mr. Trump hosted on Thursday night with leaders of more than a dozen European companies. “I’m optimistic that, with other world leaders, most of these issues can be tackled in a productive way for the global economy and for global businesses.

Ooh that one is perfect! So I mean he wanted to go to Davos thinking he was doing some good only to realize that the world hates his guts. And I mean would you be surprised? I know I am not! And if you are surprised, you don’t know Donald J. Trump!

The takeaway from President Trump’s visit to the World Economic Forum, in Davos, is that it didn’t go as badly as it might have. The President stuck to the written text. His hosts were gracious. Or, according to a less generous take, Trump went to a party to which he had always dreamed of being invited and the big boys, impressed by his stature, played nice. The general consensus betrays our low expectations: the best that can be expected of the President is an empty speech and a semblance of dignity in response to softball questions.

American media often refer to Davos as the ultimate gathering of “globalists,” a term that long ago lost any specific meaning. It might be more accurate to describe the World Economic Forum as a get-together where people who manage vast sums of money or otherwise wield outsize influence try to get a grasp on the political, social, and economic world in which they are living. The conversation occurs on three temporal levels: the present, the immediate future, and the distant future.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate. For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time for our weekly sermon to find out why the most devoted of us are also completely full of:

Yes it’s our weekly duty to tell you why the most devoted followers of JAYSUS are also the most batshit fucking crazy. Can I get an amen???? And by the way let’s give it up for the Top 10 Gospel Choir, how great are they? So apparently remember back when Trump threw a CNN reporter out of the White House? He was casting out demons! Yes DAEMONS!!!!!!!! WALK AMONG US!!!!

Yesterday, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau sat down for an interview with Ben Bergquam of Frontline America, during which he asserted that when President Trump ordered CNN’s Jim Acosta out of the Oval Office last week, he was exercising his spiritual authority to cast out demons.

Wallnau said that during the 2016 presidential election, he noticed that the campaign rallies of candidates like Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz were not being disrupted by protesters because “the devil wasn’t manifesting at those meetings.” By contrast, he said, “people that were working together at a level of evil” were routinely disrupting Trump rallies in an effort to intimidate his supporters.

Trump refused to back down to such bullying tactics, Wallnau said, “because there is a deliverance anointing on him for America.”

“What do you do when demons are manifesting?” he said. “You cast them out. He just cast out Jim Acosta last week. It was hilarious. He points at him and goes, ‘Out!’ One word—’Out!’—and security escorts the journalist out. It’s a deliverance anointing. He has got a Samson’s prophet anointing to deal with the Philistines. Any threat to God’s purpose for America and Israel, this guy will go and unhinge the gates because he has got a Samson-like anointing.”

Well this week, the holiest among us are completely full of holy shit when it comes to Donald Trump and porno star Stormy Daniels, for he has committed one of the most egregious of sins! But they’re like “he’s cool” with it.

Washington (CNN)Tony Perkins, the president of the conservative Family Research Council, contended Tuesday that the evangelical community has given President Donald Trump a "mulligan" when it comes to his personal behavior.
"Yes, evangelicals, conservatives, they gave him a mulligan. They let him have a do-over. They said we'll start afresh with you and we'll give you a second chance." Perkins said in a interview on CNN's "Erin Burnett OutFront."
Perkins' remarks come after a Wall Street Journal report that Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, formed a private LLC to pay a former porn star in exchange for not speaking publicly about an alleged sexual encounter with the then-candidate.

No we’re actually booing you. You lose! You get nothing! Because LYING IS A SIN!!!! AND SINS MUST BE PUNISHED BY THE LORD OUR GOD!!!!! For after all he is the creator of everything that is good and holy, can I get an amen??? But Brother Tony definitely wasn’t the only one suggesting this as Brother Jerry also defended this horrid comment!

The editor in chief of Christianity Today had some harsh words for Jerry Falwell Jr., who hit the cable news shows to defend Donald Trump after it was revealed the president allegedly carried on a year-long affair with an adult movie star.

In an editorial, in which Mark Galli admitted he was hesitant to “enter the political fray,” the editor claimed that “when fellow evangelicals start exegeting [expounding] and applying Scripture in the public square, we think we have something to add to the conversation.”

Noting that Falwell stated, “All these things [Trump’s affairs] were years ago, and he has apologized,” Galli called out the evangelist for getting his facts wrong in an effort to provide cover for Trump.

“In fact, the payoff for one of the alleged affairs was offered a mere 14 months ago; meanwhile, Trump has never apologized for his affairs, only for his lewd remarks in one video,” Galli wrote. “He’s never asked forgiveness as far as I can tell. But even if we charitably assume he has privately apologized to these women and to his wife, Falwell’s exegetical justification for Trump’s adulteries is startling.”

Thank you Gospel Choir! Can someone in our fine congregation please tell me why these people are so batshit fucking crazy? Not quite that crazy, sir! By the way if there’s no band starting tomorrow called “Twisted Scripture”, I will have lost all faith in the internet! I mean these are the people who took down Bill Clinton for an alleged affair. Trump has an actual one and they’re like “he’s cool”. And not only did Brother Tony back his statement, he doubled down!

Tony Perkins, president of the anti-LGBTQ group Family Research Center, said that evangelical faith leaders are willing to overlook President Trump’s alleged affair with adult film actress Stormy Daniels as long as Trump continues to fulfill promises he made to them and remains “the most pro-life, pro-family president.”

In the final minutes of yesterday’s “Washington Watch” show, Perkins commented an appearance he made on CNN Tuesday evening. He encouraged viewers to watch the segment and went on to explain his recent comments that evangelicals had given Trump a “mulligan” regarding hush money he paid to cover up an alleged affair he had with Daniels.

“A lot of the media has picked up a statement I made that the president—that evangelicals have given the president a mulligan. Not on this issue. Adultery is a serious issue, no matter who does it or where it’s done. My point is, all of these things that we were concerned about with the president we were aware of before the election,” Perkins said. “Most of us were not supporting him until it came down to a choice between him and Hillary Clinton.”

Now you know Brother Tony – lying is a sin!!!!! And sins must be punished in the name of all that is good and holy!!!! Because the LORD OUR GOD doesn’t want that!! God wants you to live a pure life clean of the sin of lying and all other sins!!! Can I get an amen??? And on that day he rested! But that still doesn’t excuse this behavior, or does it?

Over the weekend, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a video on Periscope in which he likened President Trump to Samson and conservative Christians to those who marched for civil rights with Martin Luther King Jr.

“Donald Trump is the rough prophet from the secular caves that came out in order to say, ‘To hell with public opinion and the media, I am going to do what I know is right and I’m going to say what I know is true,'” Wallnau said. “Meanwhile, we have our dimwitted, rank-and-file leadership in the church that is constantly embarrassed over something he did. Well, guess what? If I was Newsweek or if I was National Esquire [sic], I would probably do a whole bunch of articles on Samson and his torrid history with Philistine babes—still doesn’t mean he ain’t anointed and he’ll take out those Philistines.”

Wallnau insisted that “Trump is actually doing a brilliant job at everything he is doing” and that it is up to conservative Christians to publicly and boldly rally behind him.

“Listen, Martin Luther King did not make progress for the African-American community by revival meetings in his church,” he said. “He actually made progress by a bus boycott and he had to take his prophetic message out to the streets where it elicited the violent opposition of people who were demonized in their prejudice.”

Yes and now even Brother Lance has shot himself in thine foot! Because he too is a victim of the sin of lying! And hypocrisy – both sins in the eyes of the Lord JAYSUS, creator of all that is good and holy! But If you dare digress… and you DARE to question your almighty, you are sinners who must be punished! It is not the original sinner who must be punished, it is you!!! So kiss your ass goodbye as you will go to the Bad Place!!!

Pro-Trump pastor Robert Jeffress said that he believed that evangelical faith leaders who publicly criticize President Trump do so because they are bitter that they incorrectly predicted the results of the 2016 election and because they don’t truly adhere to the evangelical Christian worldview.
Fred Jackson, sitting in as guest host during this morning’s episode of “Sandy Rios in the Morning,” told Jeffress that evangelical faith leaders who “beat the drum against this president” puzzle him, citing Franklin Graham’s proclamation that Trump has done more for Christians than another recent president. In response, Jeffress told Jackson that he believed there are two forces at play among those evangelicals: They are embarrassed that they predicted Trump would lose and they don’t truly adhere to the evangelical worldview.
“I think there’s several different agendas at work here. I think some of it is just wounded pride. They know they were wrong and they just have a hard time admitting it. But I think there’s something else that may be going on, Fred,” Jeffress said.
He explained, “I think there’s just been a disconnect, a continued disconnect, between what I call the evangelical elites and the average person in the pew.”

Yes, JAYSUS did not have to suffer for the evangelical elites! That’s the apparent takeaway you will get for this sermon! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]White Male Groper’s Club
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In case you’re wondering why we haven’t been covering a lot of the stories of sexual harassment and abuse out there, is because they’re way too horrifying to make fun of, and making fun of stories like what happened with those religious shitbags in Perris, California who tortured their kids would be beneath us. You can’t make fun of that. Same with that doctor from Michigan State University, and what he did. You can’t make fun of that either. So we won’t try. But we do have to bring abuse from celebrities to light. And last week a lot of them did come to light. Like Jeremy Piven. Would you be surprised that a guy who is famous for abusing his assistant abused his assistants in real life? Neither are we!

Three more women have stepped forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against actor Jeremy Piven. BuzzFeed has published their accounts, one of which dates back to 1980s, which are already being denied by Piven and his lawyer.

Susan McCain Olson was still in high school when she got a summer job working on the set of David Seltzer’s film in Glen Ellyn. She describes the production’s environment and stars—including Corey Haim, Winona Ryder, Charlie Sheen, and Piven—as “casual” and congenial. But McCain Olson tells BuzzFeed that there was one day on set where Piven “followed her into the trailer, pinned her down on the sofa, climbed on top of her, and started to kiss her.” And she feared that, “‘This is it, this is where I’m going to get raped.” But she eventually succeed in pushing him away. The then-teen told multiple friends about the altercation with Piven; BuzzFeed spoke with a few of them, who confirmed that McCain Olson had confided in them.

Somehow now Ari’s treatment of Lloyd suddenly isn’t as funny as it was 10 years ago. Lloyd!!!! But then as if that weren’t enough, there’s James Franco.

James Franco has been erased from the cover of Vanity Fair's annual issue celebrating Hollywood and the Academy Awards.
"We made a decision not to include James Franco on the Hollywood cover once we learned of the misconduct allegations against him," the publication said in a statement released to CNN Friday.
The magazine debuted its new cover Thursday, with the headline "The 2018 Vanity Fair Hollywood Portfolio: 12 Extraordinary Stars, One Momentous Year."
According to The Hollywood Reporter, which first reported the change, Franco was digitally removed from the cover after sitting for famed photographer, Annie Leibovitz.
Those featured are usually photographed in small groups and then digitally combined into one image. As a result, dropping Franco did not necessitate a reshoot.
The actor has denied allegations by five women who told the Los Angeles Times earlier this month they experienced inappropriate and sometimes sexually exploitative behavior by Franco.

Yeah holy shit! So in case you’re wondering where I’m going with this, I give you Steve Wynn. Yes – the same billionaire casino mogul who’s very good friends with Trump. And he also has the same taste in interior decorating!

Stephen Wynn’s perch at the top of the casino industry was badly shaken on Friday following the disclosure of allegations that he engaged in a long pattern of sexual misconduct with employees of his casinos.

A detailed investigative report in The Wall Street Journal portrayed Mr. Wynn, a billionaire casino magnate and prominent political donor, as a man who frequently demanded naked massages from female employees, sometimes pressuring them for sex and to masturbate him. The newspaper said that the activity had gone on for decades and that some female employees had complained to supervisors about Mr. Wynn’s behavior.

Some of the women told The Journal that they had tried to avoid having to give Mr. Wynn massages by hiding in bathrooms, or entering fake appointments in record logs to make it look as if some of their colleagues were busy. The newspaper relied on court records and interviews with dozens of people who worked at his casinos.

Yeah holy shit indeed! I mean this is insane. I wouldn’t want to give Steve a massage either so I totally get where they’re coming from! But then the fallout from this as you would expect is massive. Wrong kind of massive sir! Seriously? One guy in the audience trying to make a “that’s what she said” joke?

Las Vegas casino mogul Steve Wynn on Saturday stepped down as Republican National Committee finance chairman, according to three senior Republicans briefed on the decision.

The decision followed a Friday report in the Wall Street Journal alleging that Wynn engaged in sexual harassment.

Wynn, 76, was President Donald Trump's handpicked choice for the finance position. It has not yet been determined who will replace him.

"Today I accepted Steve Wynn’s resignation as Republican National Committee finance chair," said RNC chair Ronna Romney McDaniel, who spoke about the Wynn situation with the president on Saturday morning, according to a person with knowledge of the conversation. Trump returned from the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, on Friday evening.

And you know Trump, they always say you can judge a guy by the company they keep. Well look at Trump and the company he keeps – Rupert Murdoch and now Steve Wynn. But some good news from this – well…

Shares of Wynn Resorts Ltd. WYNN, -7.06% slid another 3.5% in premarket trade Monday, as investors continued to digest a Wall Street Journal report from Friday alleging yearslong sexual misconduct by Chief Executive Steve Wynn. The move sent Wynn shares down about 10% Friday and shaved about $2 billion off Wynn Resorts market capitalization. Wynn, who stepped down from his rolse finance chairman for the Republican National Convention over the weekend, denied the allegations, telling the paper: "The idea that I ever assaulted any woman is preposterous." "We think the news reports alleging sexual harassment by Steve Wynn creates a sizable overhang in the shares and see value that compensates investors for risk related to these allegations at the ~$150 level, versus the ~$180 level it last traded on Friday," J.P. Morgan analysts wrote in a note. Analysts noted that the gaming industry is highly regulated and licenses include character clauses. Nevada and Massachusetts gaming commissions have already launched reviews. "A scenario where WYNN doesn't have Steve as a CEO is not good for the company," said the note. "We have always held the belief that WYNN possesses the single largest individual CEO dependency versus any of the other 30 gaming and lodging companies our coverage universe (well, maybe LVS with CEO Sheldon Adelson is tie with WYNN)." Shares have gained 75% in the last 12 months, while the S&P 500 SPX, -0.41% has gained 25%.

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[font size="8"] The XFL
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So we’re just a few weeks away from the second Super Bowl of the Trump era. And you know that the WWE’s Vince McMahon’s wife Linda McMahon is in the Trump administration. You know here’s the thing Trump fans – you might think we’re losing our minds over something like this. But the truth of the matter is that we’re laughing *AT* you, not with you. Because you're stupid enough to believe that the WWE's Vince McMahon is looking out for America's best interests and that he cares about you. In reality, he just cares about making money. So Vince McMahon thinks he’s going to start his own version of the NFL, called the XFL. And he’s going to appeal to Fox News fans and Trump voters. Let’s explain more:

WWE founder and chairman Vince McMahon announced Thursday he is giving a professional football league another go.

It will be called the XFL, the same name of the league McMahon and NBC tried for one season in 2001, but it won't rely on flashy cheerleaders and antics as its predecessor did, he said.

McMahon said he is the sole funding source for the league, which is slated to begin in January 2020. Its first season will have eight teams around the country playing a 10-week schedule. The initial outlay of money is expected to be around $100 million, the same amount of WWE stock McMahon sold last month and funneled into Alpha Entertainment, the company he founded for the project.

"I wanted to do this since the day we stopped the other one," McMahon told ESPN in an exclusive interview. "A chance to do it with no partners, strictly funded by me, which would allow me to look in the mirror and say, 'You were the one who screwed this up,' or 'You made this thing a success.'"

Yet another eerily accurate prediction by the Simpsons! I mean come on! Yeah before we explore the XFL further – let’s first take into account that Vince McMahon got tackled by the guy who currently calls himself the president! Hey, where’s my drink at? So now let’s do a deep dive on the XFL.

As if 2017 was not crazy enough, 2018 has fired its opening salvo as the return of the XFL, a controversial football league originally founded by Vince McMahon in 1999, was officially announced on Thursday.

CBS Sports first reported the nature of the announcement earlier in the day and that the league is not planning to start up again until 2020. McMahon, who rushed the original XFL into existence without so much as a full slate of offseason practices to prepare for the league's inaugural year, said he learned his lesson from one of the XFL's biggest initial mistakes.

"The new XFL is an exciting opportunity to reimagine America's favorite sport," said McMahon in a statement. "As we move towards kickoff, we look forward to listening and implementing innovative ideas from players, coaches, medical experts, technology executives, the media and most importantly football fans."

There had been unsubstantiated talk about the XFL making a return late in 2017, but Brad Shepard first reported in mid-December that McMahon, WWE's chairman, was planning to make such an announcement on Jan. 25.

OK so we’ve already established that the XFL will be run by Vince McMahon and it will be “gimmick free”. I suppose that’s a jab at the National Football League? So what else could you do that would entice people to switch from their favorite branded NFL team to your relatively unknown XFL team?

WWE chairman Vince McMahon has announced a planned relaunch of the previously defunct XFL, and it is being met with some pretty mixed reactions on Twitter.

To start, there are many people who are excited about the news. "I can’t wait to rock my Chicago Enforcers jersey to a game again," one XFL fan wrote.

"Vince McMahon plans to relaunch the #XFL in 2020. He said he wants to bring the game of football back to the fans. If he does this the right way, the NFL will go out of business. And I will be the first to cheer their downfall," said another enthusiastic fan.

However, there are many who are decidedly not thrilled about it, and still others who think it is just laughable.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. We all know what a failure the first XFL was! And really? I mean really? They’re starting their own league because of that whole taking a knee controversy bullshit? Talk about snowflakes! I mean where’s Bender when you need him?

Television ratings for the N.F.L. have fallen 17 percent over the past two seasons. The league is embroiled in a continuing crisis over concussions, and youth participation rates are falling.

All of this suggests a difficult future for the sport, yet the N.F.L.’s most notorious competitor, Vince McMahon’s X.F.L., has a comeback in the works.

McMahon, the chairman and chief executive of World Wrestling Entertainment, announced on Thursday that he would take a second crack at professional football, with play scheduled to start in early 2020.

McMahon first tried to reimagine pro football 17 years ago. The old X.F.L. was a joint venture between the World Wrestling Federation (W.W.E.’s former name) and NBC, which had lost rights to broadcast N.F.L. games.

But there’s several people who have already thrown their hat into the ring! Including a former Cleveland Browns favorite:


But according to the rules of the Snowflake League, or XFL, he can’t play!

Former Heisman Trophy winner and NFL quarterback Johnny Manziel is not eligible to play in Vince McMahon's XFL in Jan. 2020, according to ESPN's Darren Rovell.

Under McMahon's rules for the league, any player with a criminal record is precluded from the league.

"We are evaluating a player based on many things, including the quality of human being they are," McMahon told ESPN. "If you have any sort of criminal record or commit a crime you aren't playing in this league."

On a conference call, McMahon answered a question from SI's Jimmy Traina on whether invites would be extended to Manziel, Tim Tebow and Colin Kaepernick. McMahon said that no one with a criminal record such as a DUI would be allowed to play.

"You want someone who does not have any criminality associated whatsoever with them. Even if you have a DUI you will not play in the XFL," McMahon said. "So that will probably eliminate some of them. Not all of them. If Tim Tebow wants to play, he can very well play."

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s time for another edition of:


And man do I need a drink this week! This edition got particularly dark. So let’s end on a drunken note shall we? I mean all I want to do is watch Anti Flag! So tell me bartender, what goes well with free speech? America The Beer? Ah fuck it, I’ll have my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So you know what free speech is – it’s that thing your racist uncle uses when he gets into an argument with you, and you don’t like his talking points. But there is one place in New York City where free speech doesn’t apply. Let’s explain more.

Owner Trigger Smith made headlines this week after he hung a sign on the door of his East Village dive bar, Continental, threatening to ban anyone who uses the word literally. To recap, the sign reads, in part, “if you say the word ‘literally’ inside Continental you have 5 minutes to finish your drink and then you must leave … If you actually start a sentence with ‘I literally’ you must leave immediately!!!” Now, online critics have taken note — and they aren’t happy!

Almost immediately, the sign and alleged policy were criticized as sexist, but Trigger argues that literally’s misusers extend to both genders and span the English-speaking globe. Also, he seems mostly pleased by the kerfuffle he’s caused; by now, major media all over the world have covered it. (“This thing is going global!” he wrote in a letter to Grub yesterday, calling the situation “too funny.”) Trigger also said that he doesn’t plan to boot violators for real; he’s making fun of slang that he dislikes, and his patrons “get it.” Of course, that defense just enlarged the target on Continental’s back.

Yeah I need some of that! Mmmm… I do love some good Jack Daniels. So let’s stop there for a minute. I mean look, even the owner’s name is “Trigger Smith”. And you know how the alt right loves to “trigger” liberals? Whatever that means. Let’s explore this a bit further.

What is the whole idea of going to a bar? Paying for a drink, chatting with buddies, having a good time? Yeah, I literally do all of that. Except, if you were drinking at this particular joint in the East Village in New York City, you 'literally' won't be allowed to say that you 'literally' came to have fun.

This hip bar has laid out a few ground rules which are a God sent for people who literally hate the overexposure that the term 'literally' enjoys.

So the policy is pretty straight and in-your-face. You get five minutes to finish your drink after you have used the 'you know which' word and if you start your sentence with 'I Literally' then given their cat ears and sharp listening skills, the good fellas will ask you to take your literal self someplace else. Seems like 'literally' is the Voldemort of words for them. Nonetheless, this is hilarious.

I seriously wonder now how many people are going to go to this bar now just to see how long they last before the word literally is used? Sports casters wouldn’t even last long enough to order their first drink. “He literally ripped his head off with that play!!!” He did? Do you see a severed head anywhere? Let’s throw that tweet up there!


I’m with you. I literally can’t believe it either! Oops! Does this mean that I’ll get kicked out of the Continental now? Hey what are you doing??? Get away from me!!!

OK sorry about that – we’re back! OK I need a few more drinks here. So we have a bar in New York City that has banned the use of the word literally and literally attracted overnight attention. Well, Trigger, the owner of the bar, is certainly living up to his name by laughing off the claims that the ban is sexist:

Trigger calls the claim that they’re being sexist “even funnier than the sign,” and also adds: “Anybody who knows me knows I’m a feminist who supports women’s rights and is 100 percent behind this whole ‘Me Too’ thing. I guess people will find an issue in anything.”

A backlash seems unlikely, since Continental is set to close in a few months anyway, and its reputation precedes it — older New Yorkers will have fond memories of its Iggy Pop and Joey Ramone punk days, while the younger, NYU-heavy crowd will have vaguer memories of the bar’s infamous shot deal: five shots “of anything” for $10 (it costs $12 now because of, you know, inflation).

More recently, the bar became notorious for banning “saggy jeans,” a policy that Trigger has defended by saying: “If you have a problem with that, open up your own bar with no dress code or door policy and see how long it lasts. That crowd will alienate and scare away your mainstream crowd until that’s all you have left.”

So an attack on literally seems pretty mellow, comparatively. Just to give things some context, Trigger adds that he’s also got a sign hanging on the bar’s mirror inside that reads, “The customer is always wrong.”

Wait… the customer is always wrong? I literally thought the customer was always right! Ah see what I did there? I wonder what Mr. Trigger thinks about the correct usage of the word? Hmmm… not so funny now is it? See, Trigger is the part of a group of grammar specialists who are also part of a larger, let’s call them a national socialist grammar correctors. They’re members of the National Association of Zero Intolerance. OK yeah lets just call them Grammar Nazis.

A grammatically conscious New York bar says it will ban customers who incorrectly use the word "literally" in conversation.

Continental bar in Manhattan's East Village has put up a sign in its window warning patrons who drop the dreaded "L" word that they will be ushered from the premises.

The tongue-in-cheek notice says that anyone caught using the banned word will be given five minutes to finish their drink and leave.

The bar's owner, Trigger Smith, said he had grown tired of overhearing conversations peppered with "literally" and the disturbing rise of "Valley-speak".

"I had a woman from Miami the other night tell me it's happening down there," he told Grub Street. "And it's not just millennials. Now you hear newscasters using 'literally' every three minutes on the Sunday news shows.

"What's annoying is people aren't even aware they're saying it. How could you be so unaware of your words that it's coming out every couple of minutes?"

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #2: Ghana
[br] [/font]

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]Ghana[/font]

So we’re back in Africa everybody! Yes, our quest to find the perfect liberal utopia has now been hijacked as we’re trying to find Trump’s perfect shithole. And I’m of course not counting his own big fat mouth. Hey o! So Ghana is a West African country. Its’ neighbors are the African nations of Togo, Ivory Coast, and Burkina Faso. The capital of Ghana is the city of Accra. So what is there to do in Accra? It’s one of the safer destinations in Africa that you could possibly visit. We actually had to do a bit of research in this edition. Accra was at one point the key port for the African slave trade and you can see this acclimated in their many museums, palaces, and historical monuments. Accra also has a very lively cultural center and is considered to be one of the best in Africa. It is also one of the smaller countries in Africa compared to some of its’ neighbors. And its’ one of the few countries in that part of Africa that has a stable democracy. Unlike ours which is an unstable democracy! So is Ghana really a shithole or not? Let’s find out.

Founder and General Overseer of God’s Crown Chapel, Prophet Reindolph Oduro has disclosed Ghana could swear in a new vice president ‘if God does not intervene.’

According to Reindolph Oduro, the incumbent Vice President, Alhaji Mahamudu Bawumia is down with stroke and only divine intervention can heal him.

He adds, Dr. Bawumia is battling a sever stroke and that President Akufo-Addo is likely to appoint a new person as his vice.

‘If God do not intervene, vice President Mahamudu Bawumia’s position will be given to a different person” Eagle Prophet said while speaking on Abusua FM’s Drive Time show host, Ike De Unpredictable.

He added ‘it was just last Monday when I was praying that God revealed to me the vice President has been struck down by stroke.’

Yeah OK we’re not falling for that one! So Ghana’s religious fundamentalists are really no different from ours. Maybe the problem could be religion? But tell me audience – what’s the over / under on how much it would take to fix Ghana? Anyone? One million dollars? Really, sir? Get off my phone! OK I’m hearing one billion… five billion? 20?

Chief Executive Officer of the Ghana Trade Fair Company, Dr Agnes Adu, said the Centre needs about $1billion in order to give it the required facelift to meet international status.

She said, “Obviously, that can’t come from one pocket and so the model that we’ve adopted that it will come from multiple developers and multi-angles is really the way to go.”

Dr Agnes Adu in exclusive interview: “In the past, what I think the previous administrations have failed to pull this project off is in the past they put their entire project under one umbrella say you go source for the money and then bring it to build the facility; that is impractical no one company can raise that caliber of money.”

She said, “So we are trying not to repeat those type of models we’ve proven doesn’t work.”

But you know how Ghana isn’t a shithole like Trump claims? They are smarter than the US when it comes with how to detain prisoners:

The US government says it has no interest whatsoever in what Ghana does with the two ex-Guantanamo detainees currently in the country.

US Ambassador to Ghana, Robert Jackson, said Umar Bin Atef and Khalid Al-Dhuby, ceased to be the responsibilities of the US government effective January 6, 2018, when the original deal for their two-year stay ended.

Ghana’s Foreign Minister, Shirley Ayorkor Botchwey, last week announced that the two detainees were granted refugees status by the Mahama administration, a situation that makes it difficult for Ghana to send them away without their input.

Speaking to journalists in Tamale, Mr. Jackson said the decision by the previous Mahama administration to grant the two refugee status, came to him as a surprise.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

So is Ghana a shithole? Yes and no. They have an influx of Christian fundamentalists, so I’d caution moving there, but definitely feel free to visit there and go on a safari!

Tourism: B+
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: C

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Continuing our nonsense tour schedule to find Trump’s perfect shithole (not counting his mouth), we’re going to the Central American nation of El Salvador!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Anti Flag[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, I am super excited to have my next guest on the show. I actually saw these guys perform this last week. Go see them, they put on a great show. Their latest album is called “American Fall”. Playing their song called “American Attraction”, give it up for Anti Flag!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Ontario Improv, Ontario, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-3: Wheel Of Corruption & The Sorcerers Stone Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-3: Wheel Of Corruption & The Sorcerer’s Stone Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Now get 1.5% cash back and double airline points on select offers when you open an account with Idiots Financial! We are back everybody! We’re hanging out in San Francisco this week as part of Sketchfest! Yay, my favorite time of year is upon us. No, it’s not the Super Bowl. Yeah if the Patriots are in it, I’m already out. Sorry. What? We’ve seen Belicheck in 11 Super Bowls now! Isn’t it time we get someone new for the AFC? Yeah moving on! I’m of course talking about the time of year that the Golden Raspberry Awards are announced! You of course know them better as the Razzies. Last year, sweet justice was made during the Razzie awards when Dinesh D’Souza got his ass handed to him for his Hillary hatefest “Hillary’s America”. Well, the year that followed of course saw no shortage of crap in the cinema world. So in case you want to know what the worst of the worst are in 2017 cinema, here you go, and can I get a drum roll please? Thank you! The nominees are Transformers: The Last Knight, The Emoji Movie, Fifty Shades Darker, The Mummy, and Baywatch. I predict the odds on favorite to be The Emoji Movie with a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But I think the Razzie academy is going to favor the Transformers flicks just to complete the cycle, if the fifth movie really is the final one. After all, past Transformers movies have almost always won because they are terrible movies. Although I will put money on Michael Bay for Worst Director, Tyler Perry and the Worn Out Wig for Worst Screen Combo, and I will also put money on Boo! 2 for Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel. But there’s some pretty strong competition in that category. All right I’m getting carried away here. We got a lot of idiocy to cover, but first we got to play Saturday Night Live’s brilliant game show from last week called “Does It Even Matter Anymore?”:

DISCLAIMER: By the way, before we begin this week – a disclaimer. Yes, we need to talk seriously for a minute. We are *NOT* going to cover the religious shitbags from Perris, California, who tortured their 14 children. That story is way too horrifying to make fun of. And making fun of it would be beneath us. We got a lot of requests for it, but this is a comedy show, not a horror movie. We have to keep things eh… somewhat tasteful. Which is why we're also not covering the Larry Nassar news either. So please don’t ask. Now on with the show!

God this was an insane week for idiocy and we got to start somewhere. I know – let’s bring back the Wheel Of Corruption! Yay! And this time we’re going to be paying tribute to the Harry Potter series of both books and movies. in the first slot we’re going to recap the women’s march. So we’re going to start the week with some good news for a change! Yes, the best signs and the craziest statistics from Saturday’s protest. In the second slot is of course Donald Trump (2). So what do you do when your government is shut down and all you’re doing is blaming the other side? I know! Hold a black tie gala at Mar-A-Shithole for your one year anniversary in office! In the third slot is also Donald Trump (3), and we know the news of his physical are out and it’s old news by now but it’s still spectacular. In the fourth slot is the GOP because the shut down is insane, and of course as I said before they’re blaming the other side, because that’s what happens when you can’t get any work done! In the fifth slot is of course our weekly sermon on all things holy – Holy Shit, and this time, we’re going to recap the March For Life, which happened over the weekend, and it was absolutely insane. Really, a new low for the Christian right. At number 6 is the Alt Right (6). So Chelsea Manning is running for the US Senate as a democrat, but whose side is she really on? All shall be revealed! At number 7 is the state of Hawaii (7) which is usually a pretty liberal state. But they made some colossal fuck ups during last week’s Hawaii Missile Crisis (7) and it is more insane than you would think! In the number 8 slot is a brand new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week, we’re naming religious right activist and “Fire Fighter Prophet” Mark Taylor as “This Fucking Guy”. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’ve got a new installment of People Are Dumb, because, well, People Are Dumb. Finally this week we’re continuing the Shithole Edition of our World Tour 2018 and we’re going to the Caribbean to visit the beautiful island nation of Haiti! Is it as fucked up as Trump says it is? Well there’s only one way to find out! Plus we’ve got some live music for the ladies this week as the beautiful and talented Lana Del Rey is going to be joining us! Yay! The kids love Lana, don’t they? Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Women’s March Recap
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Come on audience say it with me! It’s time for the: WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!

It’s been a while since we broke out the Wheel O’ Corruption! Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. And it’s a new year and we have some new items on the wheel! So the Pirates theme from last year is done and this year we’re paying tribute to the Harry Potter franchise! Yes there will be plenty of magic and butter beer a flowing at the Top 10 set this year!

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Polls
- Chance
- Nukes
- Protests
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- Butter Beer
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Harry Potter
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

Russian police searching for illegal weapons in a St Petersburg house faced a scaly surprise in the basement: a two-metre (6.5ft) Nile crocodile.

Police said the reptile did not cause any injuries - but now they must find a new home for it. Russian media say the house is used by a nationalist group.

A stockpile of illegal arms was found in the raid, in the city's Peterhof suburb, RIA Novosti news reports.

It included explosive devices and copies of Kalashnikov assault rifles.


Come on, Florida. Florida’s St. Petersburg has nothing on the OG St. Petersburg. Oh yeah? Come at me bro! Spin it again! And it lands on… protests! So you know this week the Women’s March was held this week and it was a pretty awesome sight. Even our own Commander In Chief actually showered the protestors with praise. Yes, you read that correctly! Something positive coming from @realDonaldTrump!


So that happened. But then of course Trump slipped back into his usual routine of Big Macs, retweeting Fox News, and bashing democrats. So what happened at the march exactly?

A year after millions of people turned out for the Women’s March and took to the streets en masse to protest President Trump’s inauguration, demonstrators gathered on Saturday in cities across the United States, galvanized by their disdain for Mr. Trump and his administration’s policies.

A deluge of revelations about powerful men abusing women, leading to the #MeToo moment, has pushed activists to demand deeper social and political change. Progressive women are eager to build on the movement and translate their enthusiasm into electoral victories in this year’s midterm elections.

Here are some highlights:

• More than 200,000 protesters attended the march in New York on Saturday, according to Mayor Bill de Blasio. Mayor Eric Garcetti of Los Angeles said 600,000 attended the march there, while organizers of the Chicago march said 300,000 attended that event. Thousands also turned out in Washington, Philadelphia, Austin and hundreds of other cities and towns around the country and world.

• Several speakers urged women to channel their energy into helping Democrats win races in the upcoming midterm elections. A rally called “Power to the Polls,” organized by the leaders of last year’s Women’s March in Washington, will be held on Sunday in Las Vegas.

Ya see that, Trump? We’re coming for ya! And we’re also coming for your lackies! But of course every protest comes with some creative protest signs and we’re going to run down some of the best of them for you here from all over the country.


That last one is my personal favorite. So this might be one of the craziest statistics for the Women’s March. We go to the Canadian province of Nova Scotia for this one!

It might not have been the biggest women's march in the country, but by all accounts, the turnout in the remote Nova Scotia community of Sandy Cove was impressive.

The rural village, population 65, had 32 people turn out to walk along the only stretch of the highway — and the outpouring of support on social media has been pouring in.

Yeah Trump that’s right! Although to give Nova Scotia the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure the other 23 people couldn’t get their snowmobiles working! Hey o! But this thing is trending because we have the world’s biggest misogynist in the White House. Don’t worry – we’ll get to what he did with a copy of Forbes in a minute. But what would a massive protest be without some protesting coming from the opposite side?

Sandy Rios, a Religious Right radio host and American Family Association figure, said the 2018 Women’s March was “a very ugly thing” and that women who attended it “become ugly” because they “are acting outside of the realm of God’s parameters.”

On Monday, Rios was discussing news that circulated over the weekend about a FISA memo that Rep. Devin Nunes sent to Speaker Paul Ryan that right-wing activists have demanded to be declassified. Her commentary took a turn, however, when she mentioned that the second organized Women’s March also happened in major cities this weekend.

“I’m not a guy, so I don’t have to worry about my political correctness. I am ashamed of the women of my generation. I have been for a long time. I just don’t understand their foolishness and I don’t understand why more of us weren’t deeply grounded in not only God’s word, but the principles of God’s word, about the moral behavior that is beneficial to us as well as our daughters,” Rios said.

“It’s a very ugly thing. It is a very ugly thing when women behave in this way. They become ugly. They don’t become like men with all the privileges. They just become ugly, because they are not—they are acting outside of the realm of God’s parameters. And what God designed is what’s best,” Rios said.

Of course leave it to the Christian right to pee on someone’s ice cream. After all it’s their job! I mean really this is what you have to believe to be a Christian in Trump’s America. I give you our old buddy Dave Daubenmire who really turns up the crazy and goes full Hitler. Don’t ever go full Hitler:

Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire spent a portion of his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning complaining that people like Ben Shapiro, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter and Kellyanne Conway are hailed as conservative leaders despite the fact that they do not live what Daubenmire believes to be a proper Christian lives.

After railing that groups like Focus on the Family have been infiltrated “by homo sympathizers” and essentially neutralized, Daubenmire warned that the entire conservative movement is being infested by leaders who do not adhere to true Christian values.

Daubenmire, whose unabashed anti-Semitism is well-known, said that while Ben Shapiro is very intelligent and terrific at spreading the conservative movement’s message, he can’t fully trust anything he says because he is Jewish.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… where it stops, nobody knows! And it lands on… clip without context!

I think someone needs to educate Mr. Trump on how that whole “giving birth” thing works! Spin it again! Donald Trump. Before we get into this one, a disclaimer.

Ugh… do we really have to talk about this one? I had to take a cold shower after talking about it in rehearsals. I’m having a sit in! No, make me! Hey this is my show! Excuse me a minute! Fine, fuck it, but you owe me one, Carlos! Yes, Carlos is our executive producer here. And he’s making me tell the story of Stormy Daniels. Yeah… we know. So here’s what went down.

President Donald Trump allegedly had an adult film star spank him with a Forbes magazine featuring a picture of his face on the cover, according to email correspondence unearthed this week.

Trump's alleged former mistress, Stormy Daniels, made headlines after reports emerged earlier last week that the president's personal attorney Michael Cohen arranged a $130,000 payment to her a month before the 2016 election to keep quiet about a year-long affair with Trump.

Mother Jones uncovered further details regarding the alleged affair in a string of emails on Thursday.

Both Andrea Dubé, a New Orleans-based consultant, and a second anonymous consultant, confirmed to the New York Daily News that the emails are "100%" authentic.

Must come clean! Dirt’s not coming off! Well, on the plus side, millions of guys everywhere are now relieved that they can search for Stormy Daniels from their work PC! I don’t even want to picture a naked Trump getting spanked. But there’s more to this whole, extremely horrible story!

It had been more than 24 hours since something insane and disturbing had emerged about pornographic actress Stormy Daniels’ alleged 2006-era affair with Donald Trump, which was a long time by this fast-evolving story’s standards, but Mother Jones has now delivered the goods:

According to 2009 emails between political operatives who were at the time advising Daniels on a possible political campaign, [Daniels] claimed that her affair with Trump included an unusual act: spanking him with a copy of Forbes magazine.

The Forbes issue in question, MoJo goes on to report, may have featured Trump and his children Don Jr. and Ivanka on its cover. And when taken in context, this bizarre detail may go further to confirm Daniels’ story than anything that’s been reported elsewhere, because she apparently disclosed it casually—rather than as part of any premeditated media strategy—after someone she was working with on a potential Senate campaign (!) in Louisiana happened to see Trump’s number in her phone. From Mother Jones again:

According to a May 8, 2009, email written by an operative advising Daniels, who asked not to be identified, Daniels at one point scrolled through her cellphone contacts to provide her consultants with a list of [potential donors] … on the list: Donald Trump.

The operative later wrote the following to a professional acquaintance:

“She says one time he made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.”

Who knew Trump was a Shark Week fan? “I love all sharks, OK? Because Sharks are the best and we all know they kill for fun!”. So let’s get this straight – the Christian right – the people who protect the “sanctity of marriage” are perfectly OK with a guy who cheats on his third wife and asks to be spanked with a copy of a magazine with his picture on it, because, Jesus. Well, just ask Mike Pence!

Vice President Mike Pence says reports that an adult film star had an alleged affair with President Trump are "baseless allegations."

Pence spoke to The Associated Press during a visit to Jerusalem on Monday. He said he was "not going to comment on the latest baseless allegations against the president."

The Wall Street Journal reported that Mr. Trump's personal lawyer brokered a payment to pornographic actress Stormy Daniels in October 2016 to prohibit her from publicly discussing the alleged affair before the presidential election.

Daniels' real name is Stephanie Clifford. Mr. Trump's attorney, Michael Cohen, has denied there was any relationship. He gave the Journal a statement from "Stormy Daniels" denying receiving "hush money."

That GIF of him with the microphone suddenly seems very dirty doesn’t it? But here’s the best part about this – when you suddenly become Trump famous, as Stormy Daniels did, where is the best place to go? Why… a strip club! And it was quite the party!

Year two of the Trump presidency began here overnight much like year one had ended: with his alleged ex-mistress smashing people's faces into her bare chest at a strip club between an airport and a cemetery.

Adult film star Stormy Daniels, who once claimed to have slept with Donald Trump not long after he married Melania, performed at 11 p.m. Saturday - the anniversary of his inauguration - and 1 a.m. Sunday here on the outskirts of town.

"HE SAW HER LIVE," the Trophy Club's flier said. "YOU CAN TOO!"

The federal government remained shut down, but Daniels was open for business.

She had received $130,000 in hush money days before the 2016 election as part of a payment arranged by a Trump attorney, according to the Wall Street Journal. And now Daniels was capitalizing on her new notoriety sparked by the revelation, though Trump's attorney had issued a statement in which he and Daniels denied the payment and, on Saturday night, Daniels was largely silent in that regard.


Dude republicans, allow me to teach you about what a sex scandal is. Sure, what Bill Clinton did or was accused of doing was bad, but this guy is the president and did this! So where’s the family values crowd at to denounce what Trump did? I know! Just ask Franklin Graham!

William Franklin Graham III, the son of evangelical televangelist Billy Graham, denied any hypocrisy from Christians supporting President Donald Trump.

Graham, the president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, was questioned by MSNBC “Live” anchor Alex Witt on Saturday.

Witt asked Graham how he could support President Trump after his sh*thole comments.

“He said he didn’t say it,” Graham said. “I don’t think any of those senators, if he did use that language, have heard that word for the first time. I’m sure that’s a word they’ve used before, I think there’s a little hypocrisy here.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Butter beer! Come on let’s bring that shit out!

Yeah because my beer needs more sugar and fat in it! Let’s try this… Mmm! Man I needed that after that last entry! All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. Again? Yeah he’s in the news about 100 times a day every day. So when you’re faced with the threat of a government shut down, and you’re president Donald J. Trump, what do you do? I know! Throw a $50K a plate ass kissing fundraising shindig! And from that last entry, we all know how much Trump loves his ass getting kissed, right?

With the government shut down, President Donald Trump isn't going to Mar-a-Lago as he planned for his high-dollar fundraiser Saturday night.

But the party for supporters to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his inauguration will still go on, according to a person involved with the fundraiser.

Given the impasse on government spending, planners of the event were told it's unlikely Trump will make it to West Palm Beach to attend it himself.

Instead, Trump's son and daughter-in-law, Eric and Lara Trump, and Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel will now be headlining the fundraising gala, another person familiar with the event told CNN. The President will address the event via a video message he recorded Saturday at the White House, a person familiar with the video says.

Yes talk about excessive greed being on display here. I mean come on, your government run by your party has been shut down, because, reasons. And what are you doing but enjoying getting your ass kissed? And I hope that’s all the Mar-A-Shithole patrons are doing! But like all things Trump does, it went south very quickly. And here’s why.

A customer slammed Mar-a-Lago as a disgrace after a culinary faux pas this weekend.

On Sunday, Instagram user vacayinbae posted a photo apparently taken at Mar-a-Lago's restaurant. President Donald Trump has owned Mar-a-Lago since the 1980s, and frequently visits the restort.

"I hate to do this, but this is a total #disgrace , #shame on #maralago , you can’t serve caviar with plastic spoons!" the caption reads. "Please offer your caviar with mother of pearl spoons and dishes!"

Oh come on… plastic spoons with expensive caviar? I mean come on, knowing Trump would he even serve expensive caviar? He’d probably go get Angry Norweigian brand caviar from Costco and try to pass it off as his own, I mean look who we’re talking about here. I mean would you be shocked to learn that he rented his own ballroom to himself?

President Donald Trump's posh Mar-a-Lago Club is set to host a high-priced gala on Saturday night intended to celebrate Trump's first year in office and raise money for his reelection campaign and the Republican National Committee.

Tickets start at $100,000 per couple, Bloomberg News reported.

The guest of honor, however, will not be there. With the government shut down and Congress in negotiations, Trump postponed his scheduled departure from Washington. But he will still make money.

By holding the event at his own club, Trump will be able to collect tens of thousands of dollars in fees for food, ballroom rental and other costs. In effect, he will have transformed his supporters' political donations into revenue for his business.

Thanks Twilight Zone guy, but we don’t have to imagine it. It’s already here! So we already showed you that the $50K a plate dinner gets you cheap caviar served with a spork! Well it’s slightly more classy than a plastic spoon! And we all know how much Trump loves KFC. But wait, there’s more! So much more!

President Donald Trump is hosting a party at his Mar-a-Lago resort to mark the first anniversary of his inauguration this weekend, and tickets aren’t cheap, starting at $100,000 a pair.

That $100,000 buys dinner as well as a photo with Trump during the Saturday party, according to an invitation to the event reported by Bloomberg. Spend $250,000 for a pair of tickets and you also get an opportunity to participate in a roundtable.

It remains to be seen what happens to the party if Congress fails to avert a government shutdown by a Friday night deadline. Trump had planned to spend the weekend in Mar-a-Lago, but the White House said Friday morning that he won’t leave Washington if the government shuts down.

The captain’s table? What an honor! Yes, thank you sir! One guy in the audience going “woo!”. But wait, there’s more! So apparently Mar-A-Lago isn’t exactly a shithole, at least according to Fox News Barbie, Jeanine Pirro (now with 50% more safe spaces!) :

Jeanine Pirro, host of Fox News Channel's Justice with Judge Jeanine, opened her remarks to the packed ballroom with a poke at the profane word the president allegedly used do describe Haiti and countries in Africa.

"Welcome to Mar-a-Lago. A magnificent place. It sure ain't no s***hole!"

Pirro spoke for about 15 mintues and inspired a rally-like response of “Lock her up!” with her criticism of Hillary Clinton.

Pirro’s praise of the president’s decision to move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem drew applause and brought some guests to their feet. Pirro called out the Justice Department as corrupt and said a Clinton presidency would have destroyed America.

By the way in case you’re wondering what the costs to fly Trump back and forth to Mar-A-Shithole are, well, these numbers were just released:

And you thought your New Year’s Eve was pricey.

The Secret Service spent $26,457.28 to rent lights, generators, tables and tents from companies near President Donald Trump’s Florida estate, signing contracts that all ended early in the new year.

Five lease contracts between three Palm Beach companies—C3 Consulting Group, Grimes Events & Party Tents and United Rentals—and the government agency charged with protecting the president ended January 2, according to records from the Federal Procurement Data System. A sixth contract ended January 1.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin that shit! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… and it lands on… clip without context!

Because that was the real underlying meaning of what MLK was trying to say – go fuck yourself! Yeah thank you! Spin it again! Donald Trump! Really? That’s three in a row now! I thought the wheel was supposed to be random, no? So we wanted to do this last week but finished with the edition before the story went to press. Donald Trump’s physical was released and would you be surprised that he’s lying about it?

President Trump is in excellent health with "no indication" of "any cognitive issues" — but he could afford to lose a few pounds and start exercising over the coming year, according to the president's physician.

Dr. Ronny Jackson, a Navy rear admiral who directs the White House medical unit, conducted Trump's annual physical last Friday. He told reporters on Tuesday that the president's cardiac health is strong and that there are no concerns about any memory or cognitive issues.

"I found no evidence that the president has any issues whatsoever with his thought process," Jackson told reporters during Tuesday's White House briefing.

Well yeah he actually is wrong in this case! I mean how can he be the healthiest man in the world and say that with a straight face? “I’m the healthiest man in the world, OK? Nobody is healthier than I am! Can I have another Big Mac please? Oh there’s where I found the remote!” .

A White House physician declared Tuesday that President Donald Trump is in “excellent” overall health and that he performed “well” on a cognitive screening exam, while noting the commander in chief could benefit from a low-fat diet and additional exercise.

“All clinical data indicates that the president is currently very healthy and that he will remain so for the duration of his presidency,” Dr. Ronny Jackson said at the daily White House news briefing during a nearly hourlong question-and-answer period with reporters.

Jackson added that during the physical on Friday at the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, he performed some cognitive testing at the president's behest and that Trump “did well on it.” He noted the exam was limited to a screening for cognitive impairment and was not part of a larger psychological examination.

Trump, according to Jackson, is 6-foot-3, 239 pounds. The doctor said that he and Trump discussed losing weight and exercising, which he recommended, and that the president expressed “he would like to lose 10 to 15 pounds.”

Well yeah obviously! I mean have you seen the guy? Dude can barely waddle up a hill trying to chase a golf ball! And I mean come on, anyone who eats 2500 calories worth of McDonalds in one sitting can’t be what one would call “petite”. But seriously how reliable is the White House doctor?

The numbers don’t lie, unless they do. After much resistance and under increasing pressure, President Trump’s White House this week allowed Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson, the White House doctor, to release results from a physical examination.

How’d Trump do? Well, that’s tricky to answer. Trump’s opposition and the media have been asking two fundamentally impolite questions for years: Is he fat? And is he nuts? As a candidate and as president, Trump has accused his opponents of mental and physical illness. Normal presidencies tend to release medical records to journalists who cover that beat. But last year wasn’t a normal campaign, and this hasn’t been a normal presidency.

Whether the president is healthy has consequences on the stability of the nation, but that knowledge has been hard to come by. Complicating things further, the answers to those impolite but salient questions aren’t, it turns out, straightforward—for anyone, not just a president.

OK so maybe Trump is healthy. Or isn’t he? I mean come on, all we want to do is see his long form girth certificate! Does Trump weigh 239 pounds or is he fatter than a house? We don’t know! I’m just asking questions here, damn it! I want to know about Trump’s weight! I’m a girther! Excuse me a minute… I love that graphic! But what about his mental health? Surely there’s something there!

WASHINGTON — President Trump’s White House physician said Tuesday that the president received a perfect score on a cognitive test designed to screen for neurological impairment, which the military doctor said was evidence that Mr. Trump does not suffer from mental issues that prevent him from functioning in office.

“I’ve found no reason whatsoever to think the president has any issues whatsoever with his thought processes,” Dr. Ronny L. Jackson, a rear admiral in the Navy and the White House physician, told reporters on Tuesday.

Mr. Trump’s first physical examination as president was highly anticipated, in part because of an increasing number of public questions about his sometimes erratic behavior during his first year in office. A book published this month, “Fire and Fury” by Michael Wolff, asserted that even Mr. Trump’s own advisers and associates questioned the president’s fitness for office.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. Wait. So you’re saying that there’s nothing wrong with his mental health either? He’s just naturally a raging asshole? Well I guess a diet of cheeseburgers, well done steak and Fox News on the TV 24/7 will do that to you! But how is he the healthiest man alive? This is beyond science!

The results of President Trump’s first formal medical exam since taking office were announced Tuesday, and the big news was that the physician involved, Navy Rear Adm. Ronny L. Jackson, said the 71-year-old president received a perfect score on a cognitive test. However, other announced results were also of interest, particularly to those who couldn’t help but notice that Trump was listed at 6-3 and 239 pounds.

Of course, sports fans are often very well-versed in athletes’ heights and weights, and they are aware that those listed numbers don’t always precisely correlate with reality. For example, Kevin Durant is famously taller than his listed height of 6-9, and toward the end of his playing days, Shaquille O’Neal was widely thought to be far heavier than his listed weight of 324 pounds.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… Intermission!

And we’re back! Spin it again! Holy Shit! Hit it! Gather around, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! Because our mission statement here at the Top 10 is to find out why the holiest among us are also the ones who are the most full of:

So of course my fair sons and daughters, you know by now that our mission statement here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 is to find out why the most devoted of us are also the most batshit fucking crazy! So the Christian right reached an unparalleled new low this week. And you know how it’s a new low? Because excessive greed is involved! I give you Pastor Kenneth J. Copeland!

Texas televangelist Kenneth Copeland once called flying in a commercial airplane “getting in a long tube with a bunch of demons.”

His answer to a prayer arrived last week in the form of a sleek Gulfstream V private jet that Kenneth Copeland Ministries bought — for cash — from actor and filmmaker Tyler Perry.

The ministry did not disclose the purchase price. But AV Buyer says it has the “lowest-priced Gulfstream V on the market” listed at $5.9 million, while other used ones are listed on various websites for up to $12 million and more.

The jet, one church member said, is “the plane the Lord had set aside” for the ministry, based in Newark, Texas.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Yeah so while many of us are hurting, Pastor Snowflake rides around in a private jet paid for by generous contributions! And by the way, I guarantee there’s no rewards program for that! Because GREED IS A SIN! AND SINS MUST BE CLEANSED IN THE NAME OF JAYSUS!!!! CAN I GET AN AMEN???? But changing subjects, we need to talk about the movie industry for a minute! Yes – not even movies are immune!

Having last week railed against the film “The Shape Of Water” for supposedly promoting “cross-species mating,” extremist anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson turned his attention to the newest Star Wars film, “The Last Jedi,” on today’s radio program.

Predictably, Swanson was not impressed with the film’s “feminist edge” or its basic “violation of the biblical ordinance that the husband is head of the wife.”

“The feminists are head over heels in love with this one,” Swanson lamented. “It’s a bit of a feminist fest with very little artistic story telling involved … It was a great vehicle to continue to educate the world towards feminism, and feminism is ultimately the individuation of the family, the destruction of the family, and the violation of the biblical ordinance that the husband is head of the wife. So that is fundamentally being eroded in the minds of our 13-and 14-year-old girls as they watch these movies.”

Yes you get nothing! Because even the Lord Baby Jesus, creator of all that is good and holy, has had quite enough of your nonsense, there, Kevin. And someone want to point out to Pastor Kevin that The Last Jedi is a fucking movie? Thank you! By the way how great is the Top 10 Gospel Choir? Can I get an amen for them? So let’s change subjects again. Our good buddy Alex Jones is also apparently on the side of GAWD!!! Because apparently Trump is no longer a member of the illuminati!

Today President Trump delivered a speech via satellite to anti-choice protesters at the annual March for Life in Washington, which conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones interpreted to be irrefutable proof that Trump is not a member of the Illuminati.

On Infowars radio today, Jones told listeners that the supposed globalist regime running the world are supportive of abortion rights because “it’s their whole cult, it’s their whole system.” Trump showing support for March for Life attendees, Jones derived, erases all doubt that Trump is a member of the Illuminati, a supposed secret society that colludes to run the world.

“When you go after that like he’s doing, there is no way he’s with the Illuminati. There’s no way he’s with this system. There is no way, no way, and he’d be doing this. Zero. Zero,” Jones said.

Jones went on to explain that both he and “the churches” already had a gut feeling that Trump was not part of the secret cabal ruling the world, before incorrectly retelling the biblical tale of King David.

Yes, even JAYSUS is saying that is a cool story bro! Because really Alex, how do you know if Trump is still in the illuminati or not? That’s what they want you to think! While staying on the subject of the March For Life, would it surprise you that the people who are against abortion know nothing about science? Because ignorance is a sin in the church of the Top 10!

Yesterday, in another nod to anti-abortion-rights activists, President Trump issued a proclamation declaring the 45th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision to be “National Sanctity of Human Life Day.” It seems safe to say that the president did not even read the proclamation, much less have any hand in writing it, as it offers various lofty thoughts about equality and dignity that are at odds with the president’s policy priorities of preventing immigration from “shithole countries,” turning away refugees and dismantling the health care system.

Trump has given the anti-choice movement his support for their agenda of criminalizing abortion. In return, the movement has given up any credibility it might have had in portraying itself as concerned for human rights and dignity. But all that is brushed under the rug in yesterday’s proclamation, which begins with a declaration of the “love and protection” that “each person, born and unborn, deserves regardless of disability, gender, appearance, or ethnicity” and an insistence that “no class of people should ever be discarded as ‘non-human’”:

Because IGNORANCE IS A SIN!!!!! AND SINS MUST BE CLEANSED IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY! CAN I GET AN AMEN??? But while on the subject of abortion, are these the people we really want running the HHS? I can say they are the devil!

At the Evangelicals for Life conference in Washington, D.C., on Thursday, Travis Wussow of the Southern Baptists’ Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission asked a panel to talk about wins for abortion-rights opponents in President Trump’s first year.

Focus on the Family’s Vice President for External Relations Tim Goeglein said the biggest win was the nomination and confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, whose swearing-in Goeglein attended. Goeglein also celebrated the number of Trump-nominated judges who have been confirmed by the U.S. Senate. There has never been, he said, “in the history of the presidency,” another year in which a president had 12 judges confirmed to the appeals courts. (The Senate Judiciary Committee this week continued its rush to approve even the most extreme and dangerously unqualified Trump nominees.) The confirmation of so many “pro-life” judges “less than a year into the Trump-Pence presidency,” he said, will make an “enormous” impact in the short, medium and long term.

Charles Camosy, an associate professor at Fordham University, celebrated the movement’s state-level wins, calling Ohio “a tremendous example”:

Ohio banned abortion after 20 weeks. Ohio banned abortion in the case where there was a Down Syndrome finding. And I think just last week I saw that their Senate passed a bill that will require pre-natal children to be buried the same as other kinds of children. We hope that passes as well.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh Jaysus! People who are the exact opposite of health providers are running the department of Health And Human Services! So there you have it! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Cool story bro. Spin it again! And it lands on… The Alt Right. So unless you’re living under a rock you know that transgender activist Chelsea Manning has officially filed to be on the ballot for senator of Maryland in 2018. Now don’t applaud just yet! You should be aware of what it is you’re getting into should you decide to cast your vote for her!

Chelsea Manning, the transgender former Army private who was convicted of passing sensitive government documents to Wikileaks, has filed to run for the U.S. Senate in Maryland, according to federal election filings.

Manning, who did not immediately respond to a request for comment, would be challenging Ben Cardin, who has served two terms in the Senate. He was first elected in 2007.

Manning, 30, who is formerly known as Bradley Manning, was convicted in 2013 of the largest leak of classified documents in U.S. history and was sentenced to 35 years in prison. Last year, then President Obama commuted Manning’s sentence and she was released from a military prison.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-politics/chelsea-manning-files-to-run-for-us-senate-in-maryland/2018/01/13/6439f0d0-f88c-11e7-beb6-c8d48830c54d_story.html

In case you’re wondering that senate seat is currently occupied by Ben Cardin who also happens to be a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee. Gee, I wonder why Ms. Manning picked that particular seat? It’s not like she has a history of leaking classified intelligence documents or anything. Apparently though if you oppose her run, you also have an old white man fetish!

According to Glenn Greenwald this is absolutely the case because:

“ . . . Democrats [have] so quickly decided to back a white, straight male politician steeped in privilege, while devoting themselves to opposing a candidate who would make history by becoming the first trans woman ever elected to the U.S. Senate, in the process inspiring trans youth around the world and helping to erode the stigma that has made them so vulnerable to discrimination and violence?”

They’ve decided to do this presumably because they find Cardin’s centrist ideology and politics more appealing than Manning’s more radical politics, and believe that this trumps what could be the historic value of Manning’s candidacy. They’ve apparently decided to prioritize their own centrist ideology over the important gender, sexual orientation and trans equality progress that Manning’s victory would ensure.”

Yes that is completely unacceptable, ass! I mean really, Glenn? You have to go there? But it’s good to know that Ms. Manning has made some good friends – and you know what they say about judging people by the company they keep!

Chelsea Manning was caught mingling with Project Veritas’ James O’Keefe and a handful of hard right media strategists at a Hell’s Kitchen nightclub.

The event Manning and O’Keefe briefly spoke at was a gala hosted by conservative reporter Mike Cernovich—a regular host on Alex Jones’ Info Wars who previously peddled the Pizzagate conspiracy theory. In addition to O’Keefe and Cernovich, Manning met with former Vice Media co-founder Gavin Mcinnes, who launched the nationalist organization Proud Boys in 2016.

Guests at the event were predominately supporters of President Donald Trump.

“I fucking crashed!” Manning told Observer when asked whether her appearance at the party contradicted her platform as a leader of the anti-Trump resistance.

“Hell yeah!” Manning enthusiastically added.


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!I wouldn’t exactly brag about hanging out with those clowns Cernovich and O’Keefe, there, Ms. Manning because they are what one would call “hostile”. But there is an underlying motive here! Apparently Ms. Manning was doing it to “collect intel”. Odd choice of words before committing political suicide there!

Chelsea Manning, the former whistleblower who is now running for the US Senate, is defending herself against accusations that she has forged links with the far right after she appeared at a pro-Trump party thrown by notorious conspiracy theorist Mike Cernovich.

In a tweet posted on Monday, Manning attempted to calm a storm of criticism that erupted after she was spotted at the Saturday event, dubbed “A Night for Freedom”, in New York. She insisted that her decision to turn up at the celebration of Donald Trump’s first year in the White House was an act of intelligence gathering designed to thwart what she called “fascists/alt-right”.

“I took an opportunity to gather intel on them b/c the ideology they peddle threatens everybody,” the tweet said.

Whether Manning has said enough to staunch the critical questions on social media remains to be seen. Her tweet made no mention of a photograph that was posted over the weekend that shows her crouching and smiling as part of a group shot that includes far-right activists and conspiracy theorists.

Oh yeah and in case you're wondering what *REALLY* happened when Chelsea partied with the alt right, or alt lite, or hard right, or whatever fucking name they're known by this week. Whatever, I don't care about these assholes. They are not our friends. But here's what happened:

Fairbanks asked the group whether it was alright to bring Manning. They were happy to have her. Mic was told by those in attendance, as well as Manning’s campaign staff, that she was never fully briefed on exactly who she would be hanging out with.

To call the attendees of the gala part of the “alt-right” is a delicate category error. The event was held by the leaders of the “alt-lite” or “new right,” a loose coalition of pro-Trump internet celebrities and new media stuntmen who, while avowedly anti-white nationalist, nevertheless advance anti-black, anti-Muslim and anti-immigrant talking points. Mike Cernovich, the party’s headlining host, built his reputation as a rape apologist blogger, was once charged with sexual assault and also famously advanced the “pizzagate” conspiracy theory.

For many on the left watching from home, however, the damage was done. By attending the event at all, Manning set herself up for accusations of co-signing a gala of pseudo-fascists and white supremacists.

Those on the right, on the other hand, were quick to brag about how civil they’d been to Manning, even as her Twitter mentions filled to the brim with transphobic abuse. For those who always considered Manning a traitor, the photos were evidence that she was a pox on progressive politics all along. And for purportedly left-leaning conspiracy theorists, the event became a part of a broader plot.

Fairbanks told Mic she’s now wracked with guilt, blaming herself for the damage and for pulling a vulnerable friend past the cameras and straight into a public relations catastrophe.

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[font size="8"]The State Of Hawaii
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Chance!

$200!! Whew! I got my money!!! Spin it again! And it lands on… nukes! So as you know the State Of Hawaii has been in a bit of trouble over last week’s short lived Hawaii Missile Crisis. Yes, it’s a feature so big it has its’ own name and theme music. So now that the aftermath of the 30 insane minutes has begun to unfold, where do you go from there?

The governor of Hawaii wanted to inform the public that they would not die in a ballistic missile attack — but he forgot his Twitter password.

Gov. David Ige said Sunday that he could not access his Twitter account on the morning of Jan. 13 — while Hawaiians were reeling after receiving the false emergency missile alert on their cellphones.

“I have to confess that I don’t know my Twitter account log-ons and the passwords,” Ige said, according to the Honolulu Star-Advertiser.

“So certainly that’s one of the changes that I’ve made. I’ve been putting that on my phone so that we can access the social media directly.”

Seventeen minutes after the ballistic missile alert was sent to millions, the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency released a follow-up alert telling people it was a mistake.

Yeah you know of all the times you could have forgot your Twitter password, you pick that fucking time? I mean really? As if things couldn’t be more embarrassing enough, it’s great to see that the people of Hawaii are spending what could have been their last few minutes very wisely!

One Catholic family turned immediately to the rosary and the Blessed Mother for protection, and there were reports that as the dust began to settle from the panic, there were full pews for Sunday Mass the following day and long lines for Confession.

The Catholic parish attended by Dallas and Monica Carter and their five children in the Diocese of Honolulu was packed, a Catholic News Agency report said.

And aside from a full church that Sunday morning, the line for Confession was out the door, Dallas Carter said, with their friends from other parishes throughout the island reporting the same.

It’s something Carter has nicknamed #MissileConversions.


Well at least going to a Catholic confession isn’t the worst way you could spend your final hours if those really are your final hours! There’s far worse believe me, and Hawaii is an insight into what could happen if actual missiles were deployed. I bet the priests heard some whoppers. But then there’s this!

Well, that’s one way to celebrate not being killed in a nuclear blast.

Pornhub has gone viral in recent years for stunts like “plowing” snow-covered streets during blizzards. But lately, the site has also done more work with data: its end-of-year survey found that most Americans stopped masturbating during the August solar eclipse.

In its latest bit of probing analysis, Pornhub analyzed its traffic performance during last weekend’s missile alert in Hawaii. Not surprisingly, once the alert went out, the amount of visitors to the site plummeted. Within 15 minutes of the missile notification, traffic was down 77 percent compared to the previous two Saturdays.

But once the islanders realized it was a false alarm, they swarmed Pornhub to celebrate. Fifteen minutes after the second text went out, site traffic was up 48 percent compared to a typical Saturday.

Whew! False alarm people! We can go back to whacking it! Yeah! But it’s good to know the United States has made some good friends under the Trump administration! Because while Hawaii was in a state of pure panic and they should be, we’ve got some great friends up there in North Korea. Bet you didn’t think it was gonna be him, did you? And you think you’re so smart!

North Korean state media has issued a release mocking the US for having "nuclear-phobia" after several coincidental news stories has US citizens fearing a North Korean attack.

"Nuclear-phobia by the nuclear force of the DPRK has now caused a tragicomedy in the U.S.," a state-run outlet published, using the acronym for North Korea's formal name.

The article cites the recent errant ballistic missile alert in Hawaii as causing "great disarray" and "chaos." Likewise, a meteor that lit up the skies over Ohio and Michigan made people "greatly worried" that they were under nuclear attack, the article claims.


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[font size="8"]Mark Taylor
[br] [/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… another clip without context!

Quick! To the pedophile mobile! Spin it again! And it lands on – This Fucking Guy!

I know we already did “Holy Shit” for this week, but I got to award this week’s “This Fucking Guy” award to Mark Taylor. In case you are wondering who the hell Mark Taylor is, he’s a batshit crazy ultra far right religious activist who calls himself a “fire fighter prophet”. Yeah that’s a thing apparently. And he says batshit crazy stuff like this:

Last Thursday, self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor made yet another appearance on Sheila Zilinsky’s “Weekend Vigilante” podcast, where he claimed that former presidents might be executed as punishment from God for criticizing President Trump.

Citing his previous prophecy that of the five living former presidents, “two will be taken, three will be shaken” as retribution from God for supposedly attacking Trump when they gathered for an event to raise money for hurricane relief last year, Taylor linked that to his other prophecy that America will soon see the establishment of “military-style tribunals to deal with the treasonous acts that are being committed right now in the United States.”

Taylor claimed that these five presidents, whom he referred to as “the evil crew of 32,” based on the number of years they collectively held office, had made a covenant with Baal and the “New World Order/Illuminati” and now would be punished for attacking God’s anointed leader, Donald Trump.

“God’s judgment is literally falling,” Taylor said. “It’s not coming, it’s falling right now on these leaders across America and the church, these wicked leaders, and so the Lord is dealing out this righteous judgment.”

Yeah I think even Jesus is speechless at this one. So tell me Mark, which of the five presidents do you see being bumped off? Yeah I knew you wouldn’t answer that question! But this isn’t the only batshit crazy thing Mark has said. Even this week, or ever. You know the far right and Alt Right always need a boogeyman. Whether it’s the deep state, or the new world order, or the Illuminati. But according to Mark, a Hillary Clinton presidency would immediately surrender!

During his appearance on the “Omega Man Radio” program earlier this week, self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor declared that if Hillary Clinton had been elected president in 2016, she would have handed America over to the New World Order and our nation would have been fully “Islamicized by 2021.”

“People keep saying America is under judgment,” Taylor said. “No it’s not, and I can tell you why. If America was under judgment, brother, Hillary Clinton would be the president and this thing would be over with.”

Taylor claimed that it was the stated goal of the New World Order/deep state/shadow government/Free Masons to turn America into a Muslim nation by 2021 and that Clinton would have finished the work started by President Obama.

You know one thing the religious right loves to do is role play. They have Roy Moore, who thinks he’s a cowboy. They have Dave Daubenmire, who thinks he’s a coach. And they also have Mark Taylor, who thinks he’s a fire fighter. Now just add a guy who thinks he’s a native American and you’ve got the Village People! Thank you! I love that graphic. But hey did you know that Obama might be arrested for treason? This year? We didn’t!

Self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor was recently interviewed by Steve Strang for his Charisma magazine podcast, where he predicted that Barack Obama will soon be imprisoned for treason and that three members of the Supreme Court will be indicted and removed from office.

Taylor claims that he wrote a prophetic word in 2015 that “God was going to take down the Clintons and He is also going to take down Obama as well, Obama was going to be ripped and stripped of the presidency. Now, a lot of people thought that was going to be him being impeached and that is not what I sensed the Lord was saying. It was going to be after he was out of office, he would be charged with treason and he would end up going to prison for this, in which case he would be stripped of all titles of the presidency and I believe that is what you are going to see happen at this point.”

Taylor added that his prophecy that President Trump will get to replace five members of the Supreme Court may be tied to his other prophecy that Trump is about to unleash a wave of arrests against thousands of corrupt officials, many of whom are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

No, Mark, Jesus did not die for your stupidity. He died for your sins. Yes sins! And that's not even the craziest thing he's said this week! Mark is blaming the backlash on Trump because of - wait for it - hurricanes! Yes, he says that hurricanes might be god taking his wrath on people for daring to criticize Trump!

During his most recent appearance on Sheila Zilinsky’s “Weekend Vigilante” podcast, self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor claimed that the hurricanes that struck the United States last year were “a training run” to prepare “the army of God” to exercise control over the witchcraft that is attacking President Trump.

Taylor repeated his contention that Hurricanes Harvey and Irma were created by the Illuminati as part of an “all-out assault on man,” but that God’s army fought back in the spiritual world and prevented Irma from devastating Florida.

“They have declared war on the people,” he said. “Witchcraft is behind the deep state, it is behind the shadow government, they are in the highest form of witchcraft on earth. So it is witchcraft that is behind this.”

Taylor asserted that prior to Irma’s landfall, forecasters struggled to predict its path because the storm was constantly shifting due to the spiritual warfare that was being waged between the witchcraft behind the storm and the Christians who were praying against it.

I love how they go from the image of an all knowing, all loving, extremely powerful god, to god is a hateful bastard in the span of one sentence! But even with all the crazy shit that Mark has said even in the last week, I think this might be the topper!

On Tuesday, self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor appeared on the “Omega Man Radio” program, where he claimed that his prayers caused Hillary Clinton to collapse while leaving a 9/11 memorial service in 2016, which, he said, caused her to lose the presidential election.

Urging “the army of God” to come together “as a fighting force” on behalf of President Trump, Taylor cited the Clinton incident as proof of just how effective their prayers can be in winning political battles.

As Taylor tells it, he was asked by Mary Colbert to lead a nationwide prayer call on September 11, 2016, which he did by launching “a target focused prayer” asking God to “remove all those that are corrupt in our government and in leadership across this country, at every level of government.”

There you have it. A guy who thinks he’s a fire fighter urging people who think they’re warriors to fight for Trump. You really can’t make this shit up! That’s Mark Taylor, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin, shall we? Go directly to jail? Noooooooooooo!!!!!!


Let’s spin the wheel again! And it lands on: People Are Dumb! Hit it!

So who is dumb this week? There’s lots of ways we could go with this! I know let’s start in the great state of Rhode Island. Yes – no state or country anywhere is immune from stupid people. And this guy in particular is a rapper and one of his more popular songs is called “Sell Drugz” and you know what he was arrested for? He was arrested for – wait for it!

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) -- A Rhode Island rapper whose songs include "Sell Drugsz" has been sentenced to three years in prison for doing just that.

Federal prosecutors say 30-year-old Michael Persaud, of Johnston, was sentenced Tuesday in federal court in Providence for trafficking heroin and fentanyl. His stage name is Montana Millz.

Prosecutors say an East Providence undercover detective bought nearly three-quarters of an ounce (22 grams) of fentanyl and a small amount of heroin from Persaud over a four-month period beginning in October 2016. Authorities also say they seized 1½ ounces (44 grams) of fentanyl from his home.

Persaud's lawyer, Matthew Smith, calls the sentence "fair and just." Prosecutors had asked for a six-year prison term.

Read more: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_SELL_DRUGSZ_RIOL-?SITE=MOCAP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Well, can’t fault the guy for a little truth in advertising! Really it doesn’t hurt anybody. Next in People Are Dumb – we go to the country of Thailand for this one. Yes, Thailand, the country synonymous with the happy ending, decided that it had enough of people going directly to the Prime Minister, so instead they came up with this rather ingenious solution:

Thailand's prime minister has taken a novel approach to avoiding questions at a news conference, by leaving a cardboard cutout to do the job.

Prayuth Chan-ocha briefly spoke to an audience outside Government House in Bangkok, before the life-sized replica was brought out.

"If you want to ask any questions on politics or conflict, ask this guy," Mr Prayuth said, then walked away waving.

Mr Prayuth led a military coup in 2014 and was named PM later that year.


And that said, the cardboard cut out still has more charisma than @realDonaldTrump. Thank you! But you know who else is dumb? How about technology! Yes, now you can track how fast you see a fart coming in real time on your smart phone! Science!

Scientists often hope to break ground with their research. But a group of Australian researchers would likely be happy with breaking wind.

The team developed an ingestible electronic capsule to monitor gas levels in the human gut. When it’s paired with a pocket-sized receiver and a mobile phone app, the pill reports tail-wind conditions in real time as it passes from the stomach to the colon. The researchers, led by Kourosh Kalantar-Zadeh of RMIT University and Peter Gibson of Monash University, reported their invention Monday in Nature Electronics.

The authors are optimistic that the capsule’s gas readings can help clear the air over the inner workings of our intricate innards and the multitudes of microbes they contain. Such fume data could clarify the conditions of each section of the gut, what microbes are up to, and which foods may cause problems in the system. Until now, collecting such data has been a challenge. Methods to bottle it involved cumbersome and invasive tubing and inconvenient whole-body calorimetry. Popping the electronic pill is a breeze in comparison. And early human trials have already hinted that the pill can provide new information about intestinal wind patterns and gaseous turbulence from different foods.

Next up in People Are Dumb, you know how those pharmaceutical ads always rattle off a million side effects from taking whatever drug they’re advertising? I don’t remember ever hearing this in those Viagra ads!

A NAKED tourist has been arrested after overdosing on Viagra before running around naked at an international airport.

United States resident Steve Cho wandered through the departure hall of Phuket International Airport in Thailand before stripping naked, yelling incoherently and throwing his own faeces at staff and terrified members of the public.

A statement from Phuket International Airport said: ‘’To control the situation and to prevent any danger that might happen to other passengers, the officers had to arrest the man.

‘’When he regained his composure he admitted that he took too many Viagra pills and lost consciousness."

Side effects of Viagra include streaking through an airport. Some other patients may experience the urge to throw their poo at unsuspecting people. Do not take if you experience this. Next up – our good friend Florida Man is back in the news! and you know what people – don’t mistake a bank drive through for a Taco Bell.

SPRING HILL — A 38-year-old Tampa man was arrested Wednesday on a charge of driving under the influence involving drugs or alcohol after deputies said he mistook a Bank of America drive-through for a Taco Bell.

The branch manager of the Mariner Boulevard bank said they saw Douglas Jon Francisco passed out in his blue Hyundai sedan while it sat in the drive-up bank lane, according to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. This was about 5 p.m. on Wednesday.

The manager said they started banging on the Hyundai’s window "for some time," according a deputy’s report, before Francisco finally woke up.

Then Francisco tried to order a burrito, deputies said. When Claussen told he was not, in fact, at a Taco Bell, deputies said he drove to the front parking lot. When deputies arrived, they said they found Francisco in the driver’s seat, the car still running.

Excuse me a minute… That was a perfect clip there! And finally this week for People Are Dumb – donuts! I reported on this guy a while ago, but in case you were wondering “where are they now”? I give you this!

There was a hole in his plan.

A former doughnut-eating champion was arrested in North Carolina last week after police said he broke into a Dunkin’ Donuts, the Virginian-Pilot newspaper reported.

Bradley Hardison, now 27, made national news in 2014 when he won a police-sponsored doughnut-eating contest in Elizabeth City, then was arrested days later in connection with a series of break-ins in a neighboring county. Sheriff’s deputies had seen the media reports of his doughnut-eating contest victory and recognized him as their suspect.

Hardison was convicted and received a suspended sentence in connection with those break-ins.


That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #3: Haiti
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Let’s spin the wheel a final time this week! And it lands on – t-shirt cannon! Everyone here will get a 2018 Shithole Edition World Tour t-shirt! Now if only I had the budget to make and sell t-shirts. Spin it again! World Tour 2018! Hit it!

Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! Last week, our World Tour got hijacked by Donald Trump’s shithole comment! So this week we’re turning things around, and we’re heading to the Caribbean to check out Haiti! Sorry Lithuania, we’ll catch you next time. Refunds are available at the point of purchase. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:

[font size="6"]Haiti[/font]

Whew, that was a long ass flight, but we are back in the Caribbean! And nobody does it like my good friends in Haiti, am I right? So Haiti is the first stop on the Shithole variant of our 2018 World Tour, and so we are going to set out to prove to @realDonaldTrump that Haiti isn’t the shithole that he makes it out to be! So what is Haiti the home of? It’s a unique country that shares half of its’ island in the Caribbean with the Dominican Republic. It’s the home of a world wonder – the ruins of the Sans Souchi Palace, which once served as the vacation home of King Henry I. Of course its’ biggest city is the capital of the country, Port Au Prince. Its’ cultural center is the Pantheon Museum, which highlights all of the art and science produced by the tiny island nation. And of course when you’re visiting a Caribbean Island country like Haiti, you can’t help but wanting to take a dip in the country’s beautiful blue waters – of course they’re still blue until the next oil pipeline bursts. And like most islands in the Caribbean, Haiti also has some of the world’s most beautiful scenery which includes lots of different caverns and caves to explore. But what else is Haiti the home of? Well, a war with the Trump administration! But you know the only real shithole is Trump’s big, fat mouth!

Following reports that President Donald Trump referred to several countries, including Haiti, as "shitholes" (reports the president partially denied), on Wednesday, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has now barred people from the Caribbean country from applying for low-skilled working visas.

DHS said in a regulatory filing that it was removing Haiti from a list of more than 80 countries whose citizens can be granted H-2A and H-2B visas, given to seasonal workers in agriculture and other industries.

It justified the decision by citing the “high levels of fraud and abuse” from Haitians on the program, and “a high rate of overstaying the terms” of their visas.

Approximately 40 percent of Haitians overstayed on a variety of non-immigrant U.S. visas, including H-2As and H-2Bs, in the 2016 fiscal year, according to a DHS report.

Just a few dozen Haitians entered the United States on the visas each year since they were given permission to do so in 2012 by the Obama administration, according to DHS data.

Yeah and that’s the fucking sad reality – only a handful of people from Haiti get to enter the US each year because of this bullshit. But some good news! Remember last week when I said last week that Mar-A-Shithole was the largest employer of Haitians in Miami? Well…

The Trump administration’s decision to exclude Haitians from receiving temporary agricultural and seasonal visas in the U.S. could work against the interests of the Trump Organization.

An announcement from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Thursday noted that citizens of Haiti, as well as Belize and Samoa, will be prohibited from applying for the temporary H-2A and H-2B visas. But that could cause staffing problems for Mar-a-Lago, which Trump has dubbed the ‘Winter White House.’

The resort reportedly employs more Haitians than nearly any other nationality. (Romania is the only other one that comes close, according to The New Yorker.) Mar-a-Lago applied for and received 70 H-2B visas for its recent 2017-2018 season.


So Mar-A-Shithole, as it will be known now and forever, is the single largest employer of Haitians in Miami. But what is a “shithole country”? We need to find some answers, damn it!

On Thursday, the day before the eighth anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti that killed at least 230,000 people, President Trump called Haiti – as well as a single, undifferentiated “Africa” – “shithole countries.”

Of course, the president’s first impulse was to deny the statement, just as he had denied the statement made public through an anonymous source to the New York Times that “all Haitians have AIDS.”

Triggering the conversation is his administration’s denial of Temporary Protected Status (TPS) for 58,000 people from Haiti currently living in the U.S., some for as much as thirty years.

His comments speak to the callous attitude of an individual that feels no accountability, who thinks he can rewrite history as is convenient. Senator Durbin (D-IL) confirmed that indeed 45 had spoken these “hate filled words” many times in a conversation about immigration policy, that Trump has been actively sabotaging despite an apparent deal with Senator Jeff Flake (R-AZ) for his “yes” vote on Trump’s tax plan.

It would be unfortunate if the media were to exceptionalize Trump’s comments as the latest gaffe from an individual too accustomed to bullying people on Twitter, recently claiming that his “nuclear button” is bigger than North Korea’s. The comments are also indicative of an unchallenged white supremacy that has unfortunately been allowed to fester in our society. It is more useful to see this as an open expression of often hidden feelings, unresolved cultural aftershocks of the institution of plantation slavery that our nation has to deal with head on and with courage and honesty.

He seriously smiles as if someone had just asked him to regurgitate his second Big Mac. Or maybe it was the fourth. Ah, who am I kidding? This is Trump we’re talking about here – the biggest asshole on the planet! But some good news is that Haiti is fighting back against Der Trumpenfuhrer!

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia — President Trump’s dismissal of Haiti, El Salvador and African nations as “shithole countries” whose inhabitants are not desirable for U.S. immigration shocked people around the world and provoked swift condemnation.

The president made the remarks Thursday during a White House meeting with lawmakers and suggested that immigrants from Norway would be preferable. Trump has since apparently denied making the off-color remark, describing the language he used only as “tough.”

“The African Union Commission is frankly alarmed at statements by the president of the United States when referring to migrants of African countries and others in such contemptuous terms,” said Ebba Kalondo, the spokeswoman for the African Union. “Considering the historical reality of how many Africans arrived in the U.S. during the Atlantic slave trade, this flies in the face of all accepted behavior and practice.”

Yeah keep giving the thumbs up, sir, because we all know your time is fast approaching an end. Can we put the adults back in charge please? I mean especially when they say such nasty things as Haiti is filled with “sheet metal and garbage”. Did this guy visit that planet from Thor Ragnarok recently?

Everyone's least favorite Northwest Florida lawmaker is at it again, and this time he’s trolling virtually every reasonable individual who didn’t appreciate the president’s alleged “shithole countries” remarks. Which is to say Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fort Walton Beach, is pretty much trolling everyone.

On Tuesday night, during an interview with Chris Hayes on MSNBC, Gaetz followed up on how President Donald Trump reportedly lamented Haiti and African nations as "shithole" countries while meeting with lawmakers to discuss immigration reform last week, essentially saying he agreed with the president’s comments.

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Well since I really couldn’t find much information about Haiti, there really was no way to put it through my grading system. But we’re going to tell Trump and the GOP that Haiti isn’t really the shithole he makes it out to be!

Tourism: B-
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: C

Overall: C

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

We’re continuing to visit the list of countries that Trump deems shitholes and we’re going to back to Africa to visit Ghana! Because World Tour schedules make no god damn sense!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Lana Del Rey[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, well, I’m definitely not forgetting the ladies this week! My next guest – her new album is called “Lust For Life”. Playing the title track from that album, please give it up for Lana Del Rey!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Punchline Comedy Club, San Francisco, CA
Special Thanks To: Punch Line Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Haiti Hosting: Port Au Prince Productions, Port Au Prince
Lana Del Rey Appears Courtesy Of: Polydor LTD
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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