January 9, 2013

Eureka! I KNOW how to make pot legal, and fast!

Let's simply end the statute of limitations for smoking pot. No matter how many years it's been, you can be busted for your sinsemilla sins.

Lawmakers will legalize it within an hour.

I believe that we could get both sane people and the fringe right to back this (for different reasons of course), so we can overwhelm the sensible crowd.

January 9, 2013

America Needs Geithner More Than Ever! Show Him Some Love!

As EarlG points out, now on DU's front page, Americans bailed out AIG in their time of need. What EarlG doesn't note is that we should be proud of this, mighty proud: while financial titans who mastermind epic failures in other other countries might need to sell a few of their yachts or go to prison, we Americans help our plutocrats with warehouses full of little people's money when they hit a global meltdown of their own making little rough patch. That's what makes America better than other countries.

USA! USA!

When lesser men waivered, it was Timmy Geithner who manfully sprayed torrents of little people's money at AIG and made goddamned sure their bonuses stayed whole. Not content with saving AIG bonuses, Geithner overruled the too-gracious overlords of Goldman-Sachs, Deutsche Bank, and others whose schemes had bankrupted AIG - while these most modest of overlords were happy to accept less profit from their scorched-earth schemes than AIG could pay, Geithner would not hear of it! He stepped up and insisted that they take every last cent they had scammed, paid by you little people of course because AIG didn't have the money.

Now Geithner wants to retire from spraying the little people's money at plutocrats, and that sucks. I'm pretty sure it's because that difficult woman, Elizabeth Warren, said really mean and uncalled for things to Timmy in public:

WTF? That woman's nothing but trouble.

TIMMY GEITHNER DESERVES A MEDAL, NOT MEAN WORDS. And America needs Timmy Geithner more than ever, since the big banks have grown even bigger under his watch: who else could match Geithner's expertise when the next financial collapse happens, any month now?

Please join me in beseeching Timmy to not give up! Don't let that hoity-toity Hah-vahd Massachusetts Liberal get you down! Stay in Treasury where you're needed by the Plutocrats!

Regards,

Third-Way Manny

January 7, 2013

Something's wrong.

I'll start with the caveat that I'm half-way finished with an adult beverage (Long Trail Pale Ale), but here goes...

So I'm looking at the front page now and am mightily amused to see that my Third-Way Manny spew about Matt Taibbi is number four on the hit parade. That by itself is wrong in some great sense.

But what really darkens my mood is that it's ahead of a post about a woman who says she was gang raped in Steubenville 17 years ago. Seems like this is a bit more important than my yammering.

Yeah, I know it's the people's choice and all, but it seems that there should be better justice in this world. Perhaps the home page could have the top five serious posts *and* the top five blather as separate sections. Or maybe rename The Left Column to The Left That Respects Authority Column and also have a Left that has Oppositional Defiant Disorder Column. Or something.

January 7, 2013

The Bankers... They Are Saved...

Praise Midas!

Top Regulators Give Banks a Bit of Breathing Room

I'm glad they finally caught a break.

Regards,

Third-Way Manny

January 6, 2013

Don't EVER Listen to Matt Taibbi. Not Ever.

Some people seem to think that because Taibbi exposes bad things that powerful people do to you little people, that he's some sort of hero.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

As has been pointed out in other DU posts today, Taibbi sometimes says that both congressional Democrats and Republicans have been against things that are being done to us by the Executive branch.

Asshole!

It is unacceptable for you little people to say that Republicans ever have the same opinion as Democrats, people like Taibbi should know better.

The privilege of saying that Republicans agree with Democrats is reserved solely for important and serious people who need to say the word "bipartisan" a lot to sound like we're sensible.

So get with the program: Taibbi is a scoundrel. Don't read what he has to say. Please. Just don't read it. Nothing to see there. Keep moving. Maybe there's something good on YouTube: hey, have you seen that Gangnam Style video yet? Maybe now's the time to finally watch it. Or there's probably good stuff with kittens. Or go outside, it's a nice day. Reading is so last-century.

Regards,

Third-Way Manny

January 3, 2013

A Round of Applause for Harry Reid, Please!

The only Democratic leader who's not cool with cutting "strengthening" Social Security, and seems to have held fast for our interests in the latest shock doctrining.

And, as PA28 points out below... anyone who can get Boehner to demand that he perform sexual union with himself *must* be doing something right!

January 1, 2013

Tom Harkin for President!

Watch this video and tell me why it shouldn't be so!

Sen. Tom Harkin doesn't like the cliff deal

A smart and decent man, if not sensible.

January 1, 2013

At Long Last, Republicans Will Know They Can Trust Us

After so many years of rancor, I'm mighty proud that elected Democrats have gone the extra mile and extended a huge, huge olive branch when they didn't need to. By needlessly giving away the high ground to Republicans, we've shown that we're a party they can trust as partners. They'll no longer think of us in the same breath as meanies like FDR.

We can come in from the cold now.

Given this new-found spirit of unity, I expect that Republicans will return the favor during the upcoming debt ceiling talks. Peace and cooperation will reign as we work together to extend a hand to the Job Creators.

And yes, I will buy that bridge. Manhattan to Brooklyn, you won't believe how cheap this guy's selling it!

Austerity now! Austerity forever!

Third-Way Manny