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FirstLight

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Gender: Female
Hometown: CA
Home country: usa
Current location: sierras
Member since: Wed Jan 23, 2008, 04:23 AM
Number of posts: 12,338

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How do we deal with dangerous teens when NOBODY will help? (long rant of a mom over the edge) :(

So I wonder, what happens when you have a teen with problems and ask for help repeatedly but nothing happens?
What do you do when they basically tell you you have to wait till they "actually DO something" ...what if that something is them bashing your skull in while you sleep?

I have a 14 yr old who is seriously fucked up.
It's been escalating for the last 6 months and he is "self-medicating" with drugs. (usually pot, some alcohol, and well...?)
He is emotionally manipulative, verbally abusive, destroys my house (holes in door, breaking porch lights, etc) cuts school chronically, refuses to go to school (I've had to call the Sheriff to come to the house when he refuses to even get in the car), he fights at school, is defiant, gets suspended, the whole gamut.....there seems to be some mental health stuff too,but getting the referral to a psychiatrist has been long coming.

I go between days when it's relatively okay, days when I let him go to a friend's house (even if I think they might smoke pot, cuz I know the parents from baseball and think it's an okay environment), days when we have a argument over something trivial, days when I just need a break, days when he is a monster, days when he is obviously stoned but he just goes to bed, days when he rages for no reason, days when the sheriff and I seem to be getting to know each other well... I've even dashed out of work at a phone call I misunderstood thinking my daughter had come home to find him dead ...

I have gone to the school, spoken with the principal and counselors on MANY occasions, they know what's going on, we've had conversations with the campus security, the on campus police officer, even had CPS involved... NOBODY can get us any further to an answer. Got some counseling granted, but he only went to one session. meanwhile, he hasn't "done" anything to warrant arrest apparently.

Today I picked him up from said friend's house and he was fucked up beyond anything I'd seen. (needless to say, he's never going there again) he came home, puked all over the bathroom and couldn't even form a sentence. Then when I told him I didn't believe a word he said about not being on something more...he started looking for something to hurt himself with (which is is go-to behavior for attention seeking) (Also: I have long since locked up ALL sharps and drugs in the house, even tylenol)
He found a pair of children's scissors in the bathroom, said "goodbye I love you" to his sister and went in his room....I waked in and got them away from him because he was not coordinated enough to fight me. called 911.
The sheriff came and after some questions, decided to take him to the hospital for drug testing and then to juvey.

While talking to us and searching his room...they found a HAMMER under his bed. (mind you, my daughter and I have slept in my room with the door locked on more than one occasion afraid of his rage...and I am thinking he could have bashed in our skulls!!!)

But this did not seem to phase the Sheriff...

So Juvey calls me later tonight and tells me I need to pick him up in the morning because all they can charge him with is being under the influence. (Apparently it was Valium and pot)
I said I didn't want to leave him alone while at work, so I'd need to pick him up after 4...they said NO!
If I choose not to take him, I have to petition the court to make him a "ward of the court" and then they will place him in Foster Care...which means he gets angrier and becomes someone else's problem.

So basically, I have to wait for the other shoe to drop...what that means is anyone's guess...

I have been BEGGING for help and treatment or juvey or someone to put him in a facility for months.

But he's my problem...until he's society's.
Until he does something to someone else...or my daughter...or me.

WHAT THE FUCK?

sorry I have nowhere this rant is going in particular.
I just wanted to share how hard it is for people to get HELP for emotional, mental and drug related teen issues...
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