#5. Exteme Makeover — Starvation Style. C’mon, so your cupboards will be a little bit more bare this winter. So your stomach might growl incessantly. Just think of all that weight you’re going to lose! Don’t think of this as Congress making a draconian cut to a benefit you need to survive while they eat, drink and get medical attention from the same taxpayers they claim they’re defending by starving you! Think of this as a government-sponsored Extreme Make Over! You’re going to look trim and svelte, or at the very least emaciated and weak. You’re welcome!

#4. Share Your Food With Your Pets! Maybe instead of worrying about how to pay for your food and your dog’s food, just pool resources! After all, we Republicans have long-held the belief that Granny and Gramps could do jus fine with a little less Social Security and a lot more Meow Mix. So why not get started now, while you’re still young? We don’t plan to have Social Security for you lot anyway, so the sooner you get used to the subtle dance that puppy chow does on your taste buds the better.

#3. Eat Your Pets! So we know that as we further choke the life out of the middle class on our sycophantic crusade to rob our government of all its ability to help you that it may become impossible for you to even share your food with Fido. So you’re going to have to eat Fido. Sure, you could look at it negatively — like you’re eating a member of your own family — or you can be a RUGGED INDIVIDUALIST and kill your dog and eat it. Your choice, Commie.


#1. Honestly? Who Gives a Fuck? Pass the Gravy! We got ours. Now go get yours. What’s that? You don’t think it’s fair? You think it’s totally bogus hypocrisy that we’d vote out measures to feed the truly needy over some obsession with a clearly small minority of people who abuse the system while we dine out on your dollar? You think it’s a sham that we’d hurt real people while protecting the 100 billion dollars in corporate welfare we give out every year?

Senator John McCain tweeted after the Dodgers jumped in the Dbacks pool to celebrate "No-class act by a bunch of overpaid, immature, arrogant, spoiled brats!"

Pitcher Brian Wilson's tweet back "Senator McComplain knows a thing or two about coming in second and watching someone take a plunge in the pool (I mean poll).

Today Winnie the chicken made her splashy media debut at the Appleton farmers’ market. A random group of locals decided to protest the state open carry law by bringing a live chicken to the farm market. Special tee shirts were worn for the event and fliers were handed out by the protest participants.

Many good points were raised in the “Cluck or Duck” hand out. This group is calling for “adjusting open carry within city limits” and they ask people to contact their assemblyperson or senator to “sponsor a bill that allows municipalities to decide whether or not open carry will be allowed”.

This story started two weeks ago when two men attempted to go to the farmers’ market openly carrying AR-15 semi-automatic rifles and concealed carry pistols. While it is perfectly legal to openly carry AR-15 rifles in downtown Appleton, it did cause some concern and resulted in three 911 calls to the Appleton Police Department about “suspicious individuals” carrying rifles. The men were briefly questioned by police and released without incident or fine.

...

It’s amazing how much attention was raised by a man and his chicken. I hope the events today open the door to more discussion of the current state of open carry laws in the state of Wisconsin. In my humble opinion, dear reader, I’d rather come face to face with a person carrying a loaded chicken as opposed to coming face to face with a person carrying a loaded AR-15.