In a tense press conference with the conservative media, President Obama announced late Tuesday that US Navy destroyers deployed in the Arctic Circle were firing Tomahawk cruise missiles in a campaign to free the elves and eliminate Santa Claus’s ability to threaten secular humanists. Obama added that US forces would “cripple Santa Claus’ ability to spread good tidings” through “targeted strikes.” When asked what, exactly, the Pentagon was targeting, Obama replied, “Well, you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.”

Pressed on whether the US would be targeting Santa Claus specifically, the President, standing in front of four ten-foot pine trees garlanded with tinsel and baubles, chose his words carefully. “Uh, look. My Administration is not in the business of regime change. But, know this. By the time we’re done, Santa Claus will be wishing us Happy Holidays. His reign of cheer is at an end.”

A Barbie doll then stood up, identified herself as a Fox News reporter and said, “President HUSSEIN Obama, Fox News has been predicting this war for years. We have a map on our site of all the attacks against Christmas within the United States, waged in this year alone. The casualties in the War on Christmas are much higher than you are admitting. Aren’t you ashamed that you’re encouraging a dangerous fifth column seeking to destroy AmeriChristmas?”

The president dinged a bell, “One seems to hear, words of rightwing fear, from everywhere, filling the air.” He sighed, “We had to deny the military buildup against Christmas, because we needed to maintain the element of surprise. The time was ripe to strike, because Christmas has been threatening its weaker neighbors for years, and this year, it threatened to invade Thanksgiving.”

For many years the American Right -- and many of the most powerful elements of corporate and Wall Street elite -- have conducted a war on public employees. Their campaign has taken many forms. They have tried to slash the number of public sector jobs, cut the pay and benefits of public sector workers, and do away with public employee rights to collective bargaining. They have discredited the value of the work performed by public employees -- like teachers, police and firefighters -- going so far as to argue that "real jobs" are created only by the private sector.

Last week a conservative court ruled that by going through bankruptcy the city of Detroit could rid itself of its obligation under the state constitution to make good on its pension commitments to its retirees. It should surprise no one that the Republican Chairman of the U.S. House Budget Committee, Paul Ryan, is demanding that a budget deal with the Democrats include a 350% increase in pension contribution by all civilian federal employees. That would effectively mean a pay cut of about 2% for every federal worker. And that cut would come after a three-year pay freeze and multiple furloughs caused by the Republican "sequester."

Unbelievably, in Illinois the right wing Chicago Tribune and the state's corporate elite snookered the Democratic-controlled legislature into passing changes in that state's pension laws that slashed the pensions of its public employees. The changes affected all state employees and many of Illinois' teachers. All of them had faithfully made their required contributions to the state's pension funds for years, even though the legislature regularly failed to make its required payments so it could avoid raising taxes on the state's wealthiest citizens.

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Myth number one: The Right claims we live in a period of scarcity that requires extreme public sector austerity. They claim "we just can't afford" to pay people like teachers the pensions that we had agreed to in the past, because "America is broke." This, of course, is simply wrong. In spite of the hardships brought on by the Great Recession that resulted from the reckless speculation of Wall Street banks -- and even though George Bush thrust our country into an unnecessary war that cost our economy a trillion plus dollars -- America is wealthier today than ever before in its history. Per capita income in America is at an all-time high because productivity per person has gone up 80% since 1979.