What do you do when someone dies.( in place of prayer.)

I come from a very religious family, so when someone gets sick they do a lot of praying,and calling on others for group praying. I want them to know that I care, but I'm not willing to join the prayer circles. I call and try to stay in touch, but I feel like persona non grata.

I like to light candles for the dead, just to think about them and remember their energy, good times I had with them.

I am not being invited to Gramma's funeral.
Should I just fake so I get to be there?
Or just light my candle alone like always?