Bayard
Bayard's JournalKitty Comedy, and a few little wiggle butts at the end
Good old joke
Donald Trump was invited to address a major gathering of the American
Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York .
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American's
present standard of living. He referred to how he had supported every Native American issue.
Although Trump was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed
most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his "red sisters and brothers."
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Trump with a plaque inscribed
with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle." The proud candidate then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new
name they had given to him.
They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
Isolated Horse Finds Her Soulmate
This story reminded me of our horses last year. We had 2 mini-horses, Trigger and Rhett, who were company for my big guy. They played together constantly, bucking, rearing, and racing around. Rhett was a rescue case. One night, I went up for night-check, and couldn't find the horses. I finally walked around behind the barn, and Trigger and the big boy were standing over Rhett laying flat out on the ground. They must have been racing through the wooded area, Rhett looking over his shoulder at Trigger. He smacked into a tree and broke his neck. The other two were saying goodbye.
Since then, we've adopted Thunder, another mini. He was a rescue out of TN, and still a rambunctious baby. But the other two finally accepted him into their little herd.
Sheep who think they're dogs
In this video, adults see themselves as babies in their reflections,
And an epic dance party ensues!
I don't know why it repeats 3 times, but be sure to watch the very end of one of them.
Snobby Girls Won't Stop Disrespecting The Janitor
So, he teaches them a lesson.
Every day this man had to go home late because he was too busy cleaning lipstick prints off of girls’ room mirrors. He tried to have the principle stop them but the next day there were even more prints.
Now comes the clever part.
These orcas control the waves to hunt
It’s spine-tingling to watch.
Using a technique passed down through generations, these orcas have mastered hunting—on ice.
BY NATASHA DALY
PHOTOGRAPHS BYBERTIE GREGORY
PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 13, 2023
The first time the Weddell seal notices the orcas, it’s already surrounded. Until moments before, it had been resting on an ice floe deep in an Antarctic channel. Then three killer whales’ heads appear, bobbing up and down. The orcas are hunting.
On this sheet of sea ice, the nearly thousand-pound seal would be unreachable for most marine predators. But these orcas—a matriarch with her daughter and granddaughter—are three of about a hundred known to have mastered a hunting technique called wave washing. The secret: working together to turn water into a weapon.
The orcas, having identified their target, form a battle line and start charging toward the floe. Just before reaching it, they rotate to their sides in a single, synchronized motion and plunge underwater. The momentum creates a wave so powerful that it floods the ice sheet, cracking the surface and whipping the flailing seal around. Slowly and methodically, they repeat the charge. The ice fractures more. On the third charge, the wave sends the seal flying into the sea. It scrambles to climb onto a piece of ice, then disappears from view, grabbed from below by a killer whale.
“It’s completely sinister to watch,” says wildlife filmmaker Bertie Gregory, who’s spent a decade tracking the orcas, known as B1, a population of pack ice killer whales. The level of intelligence that goes into making each wave “is staggering,” he says. “This isn’t subtle. They are problem solving using very complex teamwork. They’re using water as a tool.” Sometimes it’ll take one wave, about five minutes, before a seal is flung into the sea. Other times a pod can wave wash up to 30 times, about two to three hours, before getting the prey. Scientists rarely see failed hunts. “This behavior is not innate; it’s learned and mastered over decades,” says Gregory. “Every time they make waves, it almost feels like more of a teaching experience than hunting.”
But as Antarctica warms and sea ice vanishes, Weddell seals are increasingly staying on land, out of orcas’ reach. To track how the B1 orcas cope with a warming habitat, scientists have identified all hundred or so individuals. They’ve found B1s are losing about 5 percent of their population every year. Whether this subgroup “will go extinct or just adapt their behavior, we don’t know,” says Gregory. But with fewer opportunities for the orcas to wave wash, “we’re seeing an extinction of a culture.”
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/animals-up-close-wave-washing-killer-whales?rid=2D7EBD8232363870D75E126868635ACF&cmpid=org=ngp::mc=crm-email::src=newsletters::cmp=AnimalsUpClose::add=special-edition-20230917
Amazing photos and video at website. Some are a bit gruesome though....
For my 20K post, a few jokes......
There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat.
One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus
He must take this medicine for three days
I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend
Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up
Let's go! One, two, three…
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three… Good, good
Now faster, come on… Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured
We must have a grand party
Let's Cook the goat!!!!
An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk shouts, “Yes, oi am.”
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him back and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replies, “No, oi haven't found Jesus!”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, me brother?”
The drunk answers, “No, oi haven't found Jesus!”
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again — but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,
“Are you sure this is where he fell in”?
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.
He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar:
‘ I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he's trying to catch up on his sleep
Please, may I come with him tomorrow?'
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old
The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have any of those problems, knock on wood.” As she hit her knuckles on the table she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I'll get it!”
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.
He really wanted to impress everyone
He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.
One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk to his office
He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.
As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone
He motioned the man in, all the while saying,
“No
Absolutely not
You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than $1 million
Yes.
The appeals court has agreed to hear that case next week
I'll be handling the primary argument, and the other members of my team will provide support.
Okay
Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.”
This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes
All the while, the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions
Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man.
“I'm sorry for the delay,” he said, “but as you can see, I'm very busy
What can I do for you?”
The man replied, “I'm from the phone company
I came to hook up your phone.”
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place.
He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched,
the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them.
The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, “Oh, no
We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet
It's his turn to use the teeth.
THANK YOU MY FRIENDS AT DU!!
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Member since: Tue Dec 29, 2015, 03:16 PM
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