My son, an update

My son is home now. I am hopeful that this was just a bump in the road. The appointment for the botox is set. He just found out about the new medications too. He is open to therapy and that is set too. I am feeling so grateful and blessed. The outpouring of support has been overwhelming but much appreciated. Thank you all. 

My son update

My son is home now. I am hopeful that this was just a bump in the road. The appointment for the botox is set. He just found out about the new medications too. He is open to therapy and that is set too. I am feeling so grateful and blessed. The outpouring of support has been overwhelming but much appreciated. Thank you all. 

Update on my son

I talked to him yesterday and he sounds so much better. He said he wasn't trying to be mean when he said to leave a message for him at times. He said he was just focused on the groups and other stuff. No one thought it was mean, we knew he was working. He had a reaction with a medication the doctor said, which was part of the problem so they tweaked it. He said he was craving fish. I will definitely make him some. But he said he was opening up to therapy. I told him I was so proud of him. He said he wants a new bed. It's definitely a work in progress but there is progress. And talking about it with people that can relate helps. We're going in the right direction. Hopefully the botox works too. I'll know more today from his evaluation.

Update on my son

I talked to him today and he sounds so much better. He said he wasn't trying to be mean when he said to leave a message for him at times. He said he was just focused on the groups and other stuff. No one thought it was mean, we knew he was working. He had a reaction with a medication the doctor said, which was part of the problem so they tweaked it. He said he was craving fish. I will definitely make him some. But he said he was opening up to therapy. I told him I was so proud of him. He said he wants a new bed. It's definitely a work in progress but there is progress. And talking about it with people that can relate helps. We're going in the right direction. Hopefully the botox works too. I'll know more tomorrow from his evaluation.

Crowd size-Royal Wedding and Trump inauguration

A journey with my son

Since his hospitalization yesterday, I am learning more about what it's like to be on the other side. What it's like to lean on others and receive advice. I help people in this situation for a living but it's a whole different story when it's your own. The professional goes out the window and the parent and advocate take center court. I have to express immense gratitude to my son's neurologist. She told him if he ever had a plan to call her office. And he did that. I am so damn proud of him. That took guts. And I am so thankful to her for being there. I let go of the why didn't he come to me. That doesn't matter. He had someone there for him and he is still here, that is what matters.

Then I had to learn and still learn to navigate giving him space while supporting and encouraging him. Asking myself so many questions? Do I visit? Do I talk to him? Last night, I didn't get either option and I had to be ok with that. Well it sucked ginormous ass honestly but I respected his wishes. He was exhausted and adjusting but he was safe so I held on to that. Today, I talked to him a bit twice. The first time, I let him know I love and support him and I am proud he asked for help. I said we will do whatever it takes. The second time, they were watching Harry Potter so we talked about that. It brings back memories of simpler times but it was less overwhelming for both of us I think. And we talked sports because hockey and basketball playoffs are going on now. Maybe next time we will talk Avengers, Deadpool and Thai food.

You feel like you are walking on eggshells or through an emotional minefield. Sometimes you doubt and second guess what you say. Did I say too much? Did I not say enough? But you do the best you can with what you've got. I am trying not to be hypersensitive and take things personally. It's not about me. I try not to blame myself but it's so damn hard not to at times. But I know he is getting care I can't provide. There are needs he has that I have to let go of and turn over to others. Easier said than done but still needs to be done.

So I write. I purge myself of full range of emotions that are oozing out of every pore of my body. And I regenerate my depleted energy level or try to. I crashed from the adrenaline surge and I came down hard. And I have been going up and down ever since. I told him to call if he needs anything or if he wants to talk. I want to see him but I left the visit in his court plus they just started watching Harry Potter so I left him to it. I figured that would be the way to go.

But I put this out to the universe and to my almighty creator. I believe in miracles and I believe in signs. I believe it will get better. I know that it will continue to be a challenge and a struggle but I hold on to hope. I hold on to all the love and support I have received and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I have to stay strong and keep fighting. I have to believe he will come out the other side because he deserves the best. He deserves his health and happiness and I am going to do whatever it takes to help him. Failure is not on option.

Prayers and positive thoughts for my son

I posted this in the main discussion area but I was lead here and will post again. I am so grateful this group is here.

My son was hospitalized today. I got a call today that a well check was placed on my son. He called his neurologist basically with a goodbye letter. I arrived home to police and ambulance. I called dispatch on the way to get an update. He has chronic migraines and chronic insomnia as well as depression. We were about to try botox because none of the other medications work. But the sleep deprivation is absolutely brutal. He told the officers he had a plan. I am so thankful for their help and support. I am grateful he is safe and getting care that I cannot provide. He is my heart. He is my world. Positive thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. If you have any advice or suggestions, I am open to hearing them

Thank you

It's just the tip of the iceberg but my sincere thanks for all the love, support and information for my son. I absolutely love all of you. I am so grateful for you.

Prayers and positive thoughts for my son

My son was hospitalized today. I got a call today that a well check was placed on my son. He called his neurologist basically with a goodbye letter. I arrived home to police and ambulance. I called dispatch on the way to get an update. He has chronic migraines and chronic insomnia as well as depression. We were about to try botox because none of the other medications work. But the sleep deprivation is absolutely brutal. He told the officers he had a plan. I am so thankful for their help and support. I am grateful he is safe and getting care that I cannot provide. He is my heart. He is my world. Positive thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. If you have any advice or suggestions, I am open to hearing them.