May 29, 2019

Mueller Stirs Controversy by Urging Americans to Read

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel Robert Mueller ignited a firestorm of controversy on Wednesday by recommending that millions of Americans read.

Mueller, seemingly oblivious to the uproar he was about to create, repeatedly commented that there was valuable information available to the American people only by reading a long book.


https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mueller-stirs-controversy-by-urging-americans-to-read

May 20, 2019

Lightfoot sworn in: 'We will continue to build this great city'

Source: Chicago Sun-Times

Lori Lightfoot was sworn in as Chicago’s 56th mayor Monday at an inauguration ceremony rich with both the political history that it makes, the expectations it creates and the uncertainty that lies ahead.

“In this moment, I cannot help but look at all of you and think about what lies ahead and what we can be together. I’m looking ahead to a city of safe streets and strong schools for every child regardless of neighborhood or zip code,” Lightfoot said.

“A city where people want to grow old and not flee. A city of sanctuary against fear where no one must hide in the shadows. A city that is affordable for families and seniors and where every job pays a living wage. A city of fairness and hope and prosperity for the many, not just for the few, a city that holds equity and inclusion as our guiding principles.”

Wintrust Arena was reconfigured to fit 8,000 people, all with unobstructed views, and every seat was filled as Lightfoot officially became Chicago’s first openly gay mayor and the first African-American woman to serve as chief executive.


https://chicago.suntimes.com/2019/5/20/18632430/lori-lightfoot-mayor-inauguration-council



Read more: https://chicago.suntimes.com/2019/5/20/18632430/lori-lightfoot-mayor-inauguration-council

---

Proud of my adopted city today.

May 14, 2019

Every Sperm is Sacred - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Given the wave of anti-choice legislation sweeping the country thought we needed a laugh.

May 10, 2019

George Carlin: Pro Life, Abortion, And The Sanctity Of Life

Thought this was relevant again.

May 1, 2019

William Barr Reads "Moby-Dick," Finds No Evidence of Whales

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attorney General William Barr has just read the classic American novel “Moby-Dick,” by Herman Melville, and found that the book contains “no evidence whatsoever of whales,” Barr stated on Tuesday.

The Attorney General issued his statement on the absence of whales in the Melville classic in a two-paragraph book report released to the news media.

“Those who read ‘Moby-Dick’ looking for whales will be sorely disappointed,” Barr wrote. “There are no whales here.”



https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/william-barr-reads-moby-dick-finds-no-evidence-of-whales?fbclid=IwAR2zIp6q1O9ha9B1haTgXwHgcon8hf960ACWpD1rZD7mB0p8JdS7Xiurdms