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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 414

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of #8: Spring Break Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of #8: Spring Break Edition

Welcome Back To The Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh, hello! I know, right? I can’t believe it’s Spring Break already! Party!!!! Well, while we’re tidying up our mobile set here and prepping the Wheel Of Corruption for future endeavors, we will be taking a short break this week. In the meantime we’ve got lots of things planned for the Top 10 including setting up a new Instagram account and we’re getting ready for our big University Tour! Yes, the Top 10 will be hitting the road and stopping at our higher learning institutions around the country. This is going to be very exciting as we will get a chance to explore audiences which we might not have been able to reach otherwise. We’ll be hitting universities from Rutgers to Michigan State to Oregon to Alabama State to UC Berkeley to Gonzaga to UCLA to Ohio State to everything in between this great nation of ours. Starting with Idiots #7-5 on July 10th of this year, we will be hitting the road. No more Chuckle Huts for a while, the Top 10 has graduated and moving on to college! Plus we will also be debuting some fresh content to go along with the universities that we will be touring. Oh and let's not forget our big Texas Roadshow to start the season! Where we will be asking one of the big questions in life: "Are there liberals in the Lone Star State?" and the answer of course is yes, but we will be finding out what's like to be liberal in Texas. Enough of my banter, let’s get to the dates and details!

7/17/19 – Athens, Georgia - University Of Georgia
7/24/19 – Gainesville, Florida - University Of Florida
7/31/19 - Raleigh, NC - University Of North Carolina
8/7/19 - Dark (Best Of)
8/14/19 – Lexington, Kentucky – University Of Kentucky
8/21/19 – New Brunswick, New Jersey – Rutgers University
8/28/19 – Syracuse, New York – Syracuse University *CANCELLED*
9/4/19 – Dark (Labor Day, Best Of)
9/11/19 – Lansing, Michigan – Michigan State University
9/18/19 – Chicago, IL – Northwestern University
9/25/19 – Columbia, Missouri – Mizzou
10/2/19 – Lawrence, Kansas – University Of Kansas
10/9/19 – **DARK** (Best Of)
10/16/19 – Phoenix, AZ – Arizona State University
10/23/19 – Las Vegas, NV – UNLV
10/30/19 – Eugene, OR – University Of Oregon
11/6/19 - Spokane, WA – Gonzaga University
11/13/19 – Boise, ID – Boise State
11/20/19 – Berkeley, CA – UC Berkeley
11/27/19 – Dark (Best Of)
12/4/19 – Palo Alto, CA – Stanford University
12/11/19 – Los Angeles, CA – University Of Southern California
12/18/19 – Los Angeles, CA – UCLA

Enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to for our Best Of. But first we’ll play the John Oliver segment where he destroys the WWE and their reckless policies:



For the top spot this week is the guy who we currently call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (1). From Idiots #6-2, remember that time when the championship Clemson Tigers visited the White House and Trump treated them to a fast food buffet, and then he hilariously misspelled “hamburgers”? So do we! Taking the second slot, from Idiots #6-7, the proposed “Green New Deal” from freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is causing conservative heads to explode, mainly because they didn’t read it and are just making shit up about it. For the third slot, from Idiots #6-5, John Kasich got bumped from a flight and began to channel his inner Larry David in what seems like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode come to life. For the fourth slot, from Idiots #6-1 – Brazil’s election ushers in a new national nightmare as a guy who is called the “Trump Of The Tropics”, Jair Bolsonaro (4), got elected and his first order of business was purging the Brazillian government of its’ enemies. In the fifth slot this week, from Idiots #6-6, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), is going to take a look at controversial home DNA testing company 23 & Me, and why it constantly gets data wrong, and why you should be alarmed about it. And from Idiots #6-3, in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, our resident pastor is going to ask the question “Would you kill Baby Hitler?” the answer might surprise you! For the seventh slot, from Idiots #6-10, can the world’s most famous stripper, Stormy Daniels, make it as a stand up comedian? She says yes, but actual comedians say no. For the 8th slot, from Idiots #6-8, we have “How Is This Still A Thing?” and people, you knew that interviewing Roseanne about anything was a bad idea going in, so why did you do it? In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, from Idiots #6-12, it’s our special All Florida Man edition of People Are Dumb, because Florida Man brings the crazy extra hard. And finally to round out this Best Of Edition, we have the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries (10) from Idiots #6-8, we hang out with the US State Department! Plus we’ll end with that time we had Cypress Hill on the show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week
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From: Idiots #6-2

Congratulations to the Clemson Tigers for winning this year’s College National Championship. What a game that was! I mean Alabama got their asses handed to them didn’t they? Well the Tigers will get to visit the White House. And remember what an honor that used to be? Well thanks to a certain guy who is currently called president, they might want to reconsider. Especially considering that he’s channeling his inner Richmond Valentine from the movie “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Or maybe Kevin Spacey from House Of Cards. OK, bad example. Well, Clemson, here’s what you got waiting for you!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.
https://sports.yahoo.com/president-trump-promises-several-fast-152758405.html




That’s right! No shut down means no White House staff which means no White House kitchen staff to cook for the Clemson team! So you could say that this is a House Of Carbs! And by the way this is what happens when the country is run by the less sophisticated – they actually enjoyed it! Either their standards are incredibly low or they haven’t had a decent meal in months! What is Clemson feeding them?

President Donald Trump paid tribute to college football champion Clemson for winning the College Football Playoff National Championship at a White House ceremony Monday evening.

Trump said he paid for their meal of "American fast food'' because of the partial government shutdown. He did not disclose the tab.

"We went off and we ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza,'' Trump said after returning to the White House from a trip to New Orleans. "I think they'd like it better than anything we could give."

Some players "whooped" when they saw the spread, according a pool report.

"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to have a little fun," said the president, a fast-food lover himself.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said much of the staff that works in the White House residence has been furloughed due to the shutdown, "so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's favorite fast foods."
http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/25762856/white-house-offers-clemson-tigers-fast-food-feast-championship-celebration




Wow, how our standards have fallen as a society. Really he’s the kind of guy who would replace the White House kitchen with a McDonalds and Burger King just because he could. And he’s also fat and has no taste. And by the way let’s show that picture of Trump with the spread.



First off why is Trump like so proud of this? He’s feeding a championship football team garbage fast food that you can buy at the Flying J off the interstate. And second, why is he doing jazz hands? Ah, never mind, I have the answer! Just look at what Abe Lincoln is doing in the background!



By the way you’re wondering how much this spread costs, well…

Trump said, “So I had a choice. Do we have no food for you? Because we have a shutdown,” Business Insider reported. “Or do we give you some little, quick salads that the First Lady will make?”

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a statement blamed Democrats for the shutdown and said that Trump was personally paying for the food.

The White House didn’t release the cost of the meal, but some news outlets tried to estimate the expense. The Post worked it out to be $2,911.44—or maybe $2,437.11, depending on whether the food came from the 2-for-$5 menu.

USA Today estimated the expense to be $861.72. Maybe the difference came down to what was included. USA Today didn’t include french fries or pizza, which Trump said would be part of the order, because none appeared in the pictures they used for their estimate.
http://fortune.com/2019/01/15/trump-clemson-tigers-fast-food/




Yeah so he spent $860 on fucking fast food. Really there were no other restaurants around? I mean you don’t own one that’s literally 5 miles from where you live? That wouldn’t work? Oh fuck it. I give up sometimes. And by the way here’s how much of a flaming narcissist Trump is. Not only did he pay for the food, he also said it was all food he likes, and he didn’t even get the quantities right!

Imagine being invited to the White House for dinner. You pack your best suit or dress and fly up to Washington, D.C. The day of the dinner, the president announces to reporters that he will be serving you fast food. He seems really excited about it. “I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King with some pizza,” he says. “I really meant it. It’ll be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

He has to be kidding, right? He really means it? It’ll be interesting? We’ll see what happens? A few hours later you head to the White House, go through security and enter the State Dining Room. This is what you see:

Yes, President Trump served selections from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King to the Clemson Tigers football team, who were in Washington on Monday to celebrate their national championship. The scene was surreal, with boxes of Quarter Pounders piled high on the White House’s silver serving ware. Sterling gravy boats were stuffed with dipping sauce containers. Fries had been removed from their original packaging and put into paper cups emblazoned with the presidential seal.

Trump was beaming. “I like it all,” the president said as aides lit an ornate candelabra. “It’s all good stuff. Great American food. It will be very interesting to see at the end of this evening how many are left.” He added that “the Republicans are really, really sticking together” and that “we need border security.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-fast-food-white-house-779128/





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[font size="8"]Green New Deal
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From: Idiots #6-7

If there’s one liberal currently that conservatives *LOVE* to hate, it’s New York’s freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Is it because she’s Latina? Is it because she’s a woman? Is it because she’s from New York? Is it because she cares about the environment and the people? Or is it all of the above? Oh who am I kidding? The answer is easily all of the above! But her proposed “Green New Deal” has them talking and not in a good way. I wonder if it’s because the Koch Brothers handed them a large sack of money to talk trash about it? Or something else?

Democrats are bristling over a GOP effort to pit senators against the party's newly resurgent progressive base.

Republicans, fresh off a border funding fight they are widely viewed as having lost, are eager to pivot to offense as they hunt for 2020 fodder, when several Senate Democrats will be running for president.

Republicans say Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is mulling a series of votes to try to jam Democratic senators, whom he has repeatedly tried to paint as pushed off center by the “radical left.” His first step this week was fast-tracking the "Green New Deal" resolution by putting it on the Senate calendar.

But top Democrats are brushing off the potential political fallout of McConnell’s tactics, comparing them to a “political stunt.”

Sen. Dick Durbin (Ill.), the No. 2 Senate Democrat, said Republicans were using a routine maneuver because it “amuses some small-minded senators.”
https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/430309-gop-sees-green-new-deal-as-weapon-against-dems




Oh yeah it’s just par for the course. Mr. Senator, if I may guess what senators those were? I’m thinking McConnell and Lindsay Graham. I’m correct? Woohoo!!! And we’re not even doing the Wheel Of Corruption this week! Oh and by the way in case you’re wondering whether or not republicans couldn’t possibly be any more childish, one representative in Kentucky is trying to prove it wrong with a whoopee cushion! Yes, the worst environmental problems can now be solved with fart jokes!

Kentucky’s Republican agriculture commissioner is giving away a green whoopee cushion to highlight his opposition to the “Green New Deal” pushed by Democrats in Congress.

Ryan Quarles is running for a second term as Kentucky’s commissioner of agriculture in 2019. Last week, his campaign announced it would hold a contest to give away a green whoopee cushion to draw attention to what he says are the anti-agriculture messages pushed by Democrats.

The “Green New Deal” pushed by some Democrats in Congress is a plan to combat climate change. An early draft of a FAQ about the plan mentioned getting rid of “farting cows.” A spokesman for U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said the quip was meant to be ironic.
https://www.wtvq.com/2019/02/19/ag-commissioner-opposing-green-new-deal-whoopee-cushion/




Uh… farting cows? Did you not see that episode of South Park? If we all hold it in, we all spontaneously combust! I mean it’s just science! And by the way Mitch McConnell is such a worthless piece of shit that you can’t get him to vote on anything or do anything meangingful, but he’s forcing a vote on this because he knows it will fail. What a jackass!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the Senate would vote on the Green New Deal introduced last week by Sen. Edward Markey, D-Mass., and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y.

"I've noted with great interest the Green New Deal, and we're going to be voting on that in the Senate to give everybody an opportunity to go on record," McConnell told reporters.

The proposal, which is not expected to pass the Republican-dominated upper chamber, could force some Democrats to make a politically awkward calculation.

Democratic liberals, including all of the senators currently running for president, have come out in support of the legislation, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years. Scientists have said dramatic, immediate action is necessary to stem the catastrophic effects of climate change.

Democratic moderates have been less than enthusiastic about the proposal. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi derisively referred to the House version of the resolution as a "green dream," while only 11 of the 47 senators who caucus with the Democrats have signed on as sponsors.
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/12/mitch-mcconnell-to-force-the-senate-to-vote-on-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-green-new-deal.html




I swear that there’s a Simpsons GIF for everything! But in case you’re wondering whether or not there’s a rhyme or reason for Mitch McConnell’s madness, well you are absolutely correct because he’s forcing this vote because he knows the democrats will lose on this issue and that it will make them look like losers. Um… fuck you Mitch!

The Green New Deal, unveiled by New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Massachusetts Sen. Ed Markey, will not resonate with American voters, longtime Democrat Barney Frank told CNBC on Tuesday.

The proposal, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years, is emerging as a major campaign issue, with all the Democratic senators running for president in 2020 pledging their support and President Donald Trump and Republicans blasting it.

"I think the Green New Deal would be loser," said Frank, the former Massachusetts congressman who retired in 2013 after more than three decades on Capitol Hill. "There's an argument that you don't destabilize a society by doing too much change at once."
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/19/barney-frank-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-green-new-deal-would-be-a-loser-against-trump-in-2020.html





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[font size="8"]John Kasich
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From: Idiots #6-5

We need some music for this one!



Last week, a new book came out about former Ohio governor, presidential candidate and guy who is doing his best to channel his inner Larry David, John Kasich, ran into a bit of a scuffle with a comedian who was on the same flight he was. It turns out the former governor was bumped from a flight and got into a spat with the star of a Hulu show called “Difficult People” and was pulling his inner Larry David and complaining that he got bumped to coach class. The horror! For the record, let’s call this piece “Curb Your Kasich”.

A comedian on Friday told the full story of her recent encounter with former Ohio Gov. John Kasich, whom she says stole her seat aboard an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco when he was bumped.

Julie Klausner, known for the Hulu sitcom “Difficult People,” said the Republican was an “obnoxious” flight companion on her podcast, “How Was Your Week?”

She said a pilot needed to fly last-minute aboard the plane and bumped Kasich out of his seat, according to Cleveland.com. But instead of taking the downgraded seat he was assigned, the former presidential candidate took the comedian’s, the outlet reported.

Klausner, who identifies as a liberal, said once she read up on Kasich — and his political views — she decided to post about the incident on Twitter.
http://en.brinkwire.com/news/difficult-people-star-fumes-after-john-kasich-gets-her-airplane-seat/


&t=3s

Yeah we can assume it was pretty much like that. So John Kasich may have been channeling his inner Larry David by refusing to fly coach. But as you peel back the layers of this story, it gets weirder and weirder, because, why wouldn’t it?

Earlier in the month Alaska Airlines needed to bump a passenger from first class on a New York JFK to San Francisco flight for a pilot traveling to a duty assignment. The passenger they downgraded to economy was John Kasich, who just finished serving 8 years as Governor of Ohio and who sought the Republican nomination for President in 2016.

Only Governor Kasich didn’t leave the first class cabin, he sat down in another passenger’s seat instead.

Passenger Julie Klausner agreed to take a later flight rather than engage the drama. Alaska Airlines reimbursed the cost of the margherita flatbread she purchased while waiting an extra four hours.

It’s been reported that Kasich was asked to move to extra legroom coach (‘premium’) and also to 12F which I don’t think is an extra legroom seat on any Alaska aircraft (and we know that since this wasn’t the last flight of the day on the route that the aircraft was an Airbus A320). Here’s where he sat instead.
https://viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com/2019/01/28/airline-downgraded-john-kasich-but-he-wouldnt-leave-first-class/




And by the way does anyone else find it ironic that Kasich picked a fight with the star of a show called “Difficult People”? Seems like Kasich just gave Klausner and the Difficult People writers some material for the next few episodes!

A comedian on her way to San Francisco from New York City earlier this month said former Ohio Governor John Kasich took her first class airplane seat after Alaska Airlines staff moved him to a new seat in economy class.

Julie Klausner, who appears in the Hulu sitcom "Difficult People" said she was surprised to find Kasich in seat 1D on her morning Alaska Airlines flight from John F. Kennedy Airport to San Francisco.

Kasich recently finished a second term as Ohio's governor. He also sought the Republican nomination for President during the 2016 election.

Gate agents told Klausner a pilot who needed to travel last-minute had been given Kasich's original first class seat. Alaska agents re-assigned Kasich to a seat behind the curtain in its extra-legroom economy cabin, Premium Class.

But the politician instead sat down in an unoccupied first class seat, which ended up being Klausner's.
https://www.sfgate.com/travel/article/John-Kasich-takes-Julie-Klausner-seat-13574976.php




Oh and by at least some good came out of this incident, and for a cause that a pro-life conservative like Kasich would absolutely fucking hate! So Klausner decided to use this story for good instead of bad and raised a lot of money for Planned Parenthood!

Comedian Julie Klausner has raised thousands of dollars for Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio after reportedly losing her seat on a cross-country flight to former Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R), an abortion opponent.

Klausner, a California-based comedian best known for her role on the Hulu series “Difficult People,” posted on social media earlier this month that she lost her spot on an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco after Kasich’s original seat was occupied by a pilot flying last minute, according to Cleveland.com.

Kasich was then moved to her what had been Klausner's seat, prompting her to take a separate flight, according to her account.

Klausner said that when she began getting insulted and criticized on social media for her depiction of the incident, she decided to donate $1 to Planned Parenthood of Ohio for every comment — both positive and negative — posted on her social media accounts.

On Tuesday she posted PayPal receipts on Twitter showing her donation of $2,774 to Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/427731-comedian-raises-thousands-for-planned-parenthood-after-john





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[font size="8"]Jair Bolsonaro
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From: Idiots #6-1



Welcome to your new nightmare, Brazil! And hey if you think I’m not going to a piece on Brazil’s creeping dictatorship without wearing a traditional Carnivale costume and playing Samba music, you are dead wrong! Hit it! So in case you haven’t noticed during the last two weeks, a new era of ultra far right fascism has begun in the South American country under their new president Jair Bolsonaro, a guy who is a Putin stooge and who many have described as the “Trump Of The Tropics”. And he is unbelievably scary, and what he’s doing actually puts Trump to shame, and it’s only going to get worse! He’s already got to work purging his enemies!

Brazil’s new president has authorised the dismissal of civil servants who do not share his far-right ideology, it has been reported.

Having taken office this week, Jair Bolsonaro has launched a purge of left-wing government officials with approximately 300 people expected to be dismissed.

Officials who are seen as being supportive of the previous left-wing and centrist governments will be removed to “clean the house”, Mr Bolsonaro’s chief of staff Onyx Lorenzoni said.

“It’s the only way to govern with our ideas, our concepts and to carry out what Brazil’s society decided in its majority,” Mr Lorenzoni said, according to Die Welt.

He added that the vast proportion of those dismissed are on temporary contracts and their removal is necessary to “do away with the Socialist and Communist ideas that during 30 years have led us to the chaos in which we live.”
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/jair-bolsonaro-brazil-president-civil-servants-fire-far-right-left-wing-a8711116.html




Because purges always work so well don’t they? Just look at Turkey, the Philippines, Poland, and Hungary to find out where Brazil’s headed. Because Putin is turning the world’s democracies on their ear by spreading fear, hate, and misinformation that gets creeps like Bolsonaro and Trump elected. And guess who he’s going after? Oh wait, you don’t have to! If you’ve been following Trump you already know!

Newly installed President Jair Bolsonaro targeted Brazil’s indigenous groups, descendants of slaves and the LGBT community with executive orders in the first hours of his administration, moving quickly after a campaign in which the far-right leader said he would radically overhaul many aspects of life in Latin America’s largest nation.

Sao Paulo's stock market, meanwhile, jumped 3.56 percent to a record closing of 91,012 points as new Cabinet ministers reinforced the intent to privatize state-owned companies and a Brazilian arms maker benefited from Bolsonaro's plans to loosen gun controls. Similar spikes in stock prices also occurred during the presidential campaign.

One of the orders issued late Tuesday, hours after Bolsonaro's inauguration, likely will make it all but impossible for new lands to be identified and demarcated for indigenous communities. Areas set aside for "Quilombolas," as descendants of former slaves are known, are also affected by the decision.

Another order removed the concerns of the LGBT community from consideration by the new human rights ministry.
https://www.sltrib.com/news/nation-world/2019/01/03/brazils-bolsonaro-targets/




But of course he’s going to restore order, people! I mean just look at how well Trump is trying to fix an already burning ship. He’s pledging that Brazil has been lifted from the confines of socialism and political correctness! Wait, that sounds familiar. We got to keep our composure people!!!!! We can’t have anybody freaking out here!!!

Brazil‘s newly inaugurated President Jair Bolsonaro said on Tuesday (January 01) that he would “restore order,” and he vowed to tackle corruption, crime and economic mismanagement in Latin America’s largest nation.

Bolsonaro, a former army captain turned lawmaker who openly admires Brazil‘s 1964-1985 military dictatorship, promised in his first remarks as president to adhere to democratic norms, after his tirades against the media and political opponents had stirred unease.

A seven-term congressman who spent decades on the fringes of Brazilian politics, Bolsonaro was swept to power in October by voters’ outrage with traditional political parties, making him Brazil‘s first right-wing president since the dictatorship.

Voters punished mainstream parties following more than four years of graft investigations that laid bare the largest political corruption scheme ever discovered. Centrist parties were trounced, reshaping Brazil‘s political landscape and polarising Congress.

Following a knife attack during the presidential campaign that left Bolsonaro hospitalized for weeks, security was tight for his inauguration. Some 10,000 police officers and soldiers were deployed on the streets of Brasilia, the capital, as Bolsonaro and his wife rode in an open-topped Rolls-Royce to Congress.
https://www.untvweb.com/news/bolsonaro-takes-office-in-brazil-says-will-restore-order/




And speaking of keeping our composure, guess what? You’re in good company, Brazil! Because guess who Bolsonaro is already courting? He’s courting Putin’s favorite president, Donald J. Trump, and we all know what a dumpster fire he’s been setting here in America!

Bolsonaro issued a directive giving the Agriculture Ministry, which is dominated by a powerful agro-business lobby, control over areas reserved for Brazil's indigenous peoples and the descendants of former slaves. He made it nearly impossible for new protected lands to be demarcated. A government agency run by a prominent general was given the ability to "monitor" international organisations and nongovernmental organisations operating in Brazil. And the LGBT community was excluded from a list of groups whose concerns would be protected by a new Human Rights Ministry.

None of this should be a surprise. Bolsonaro is a strident far-right ideologue, notorious for his bigoted rhetoric against women, minorities, the poor and LGBT Brazilians. Once a buffoonish figure on the fringes of the country's politics, he marshalled deep frustrations with Brazil's dysfunction — its stagnating economy, its soaring crime, its corrupt political elites — to score dramatic victories in elections last year. Now he is following through on his promises to upend the status quo and crack down on imagined enemies.

Perhaps more conspicuous was the enthusiastic cheerleading coming from the Trump Administration. Bolsonaro has long been likened to United States President Donald Trump — another angry nationalist bent on radically shifting his country to the right while trying to tear down the political achievements of opponents to the left.

Former Trump adviser Stephen Bannon whispered encouragement to Bolsonaro's camp. The Brazilian politician, meanwhile, launched Trumpian attacks on everything from "fake news" to refugees.
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=12185770




Bet you didn’t think you were going to hear the last of Steve Bannon did you? I mean last we saw he could barely fill the breakfast buffet at Holiday Inn and getting canned from talking about having sex with robots! And you know that most of the people there were there for the free buffet and couldn’t give less of a shit about Steve Bannon. But in case you’re wondering how well Brazil’s war on crime is going, just look at what happened this week at Rio’s landmark Cristo Redentor statue:

Dozens of tourists hiking toward the famous Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro were held at gunpoint for up to two hours in a mass robbery that could mark an early test for anti-crime crackdowns promised by Brazil’s new president.

Police said Friday that at least three assailants carrying knives and a gun set up the ambush on the trail, which cuts through a dense forest that borders a slum on the outskirts of the city and has been the site of numerous muggings.

In total, more than 30 people were robbed Thursday — about half foreigners from Asia, Europe and elsewhere in South America — as the thieves took hostages and waited for more tourists to arrive.

They took cellphones, cameras, wedding rings and credit cards, police said. Nobody was hurt.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the_americas/dozens-of-tourists-in-brazil-robbed-on-trail-to-rios-famous-christ-the-redeemer-statue/2019/01/04/c08685b8-1025-11e9-8f0c-6f878a26288a_story.html?utm_term=.441be7ce1d68





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY DNA
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From: Idiots #6-6

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



You’ve probably seen home DNA testing kits come along fast and furious lately. From companies that offer just basic testing like 23 & Me to sites that offer more specific studies, like ancestry.com. But if you have been taking these tests or you’ve been hearing that the tests come back wrong every time, you’re not alone. In fact, you should be concerned immediately after sending back the kit, especially if you sign up for their health tests.

23andMe is pushing back against a recent The New York Times editorial board opinion piece that warned customers to be careful about the company's health tests.

The editorial board argued that 23andMe's genetic risk health tests, such as its test that claims to screen for two genetic mutations linked to colorectal cancer, can't determine the actual risk of developing the diseases because it relies on "much simpler technology" than a healthcare facility does.

In addition, the op-ed compared 23andMe's breast cancer screen to "proofreading a document by looking at only a handful of letters," as the test only looks at parts of the genome where mutations are known to occur.

"[23andMe's tests] look for only a handful of errors that may or may not elevate your risk of developing the disease in question. And they don't factor into their final analysis other information, like family history. (Not everyone with a given mutation will go on to develop the disease). So the results will not tell you much about your actual health risks," the editorial board wrote in the Feb. 1 opinion piece.
https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/quality/nyt-editorial-board-warns-about-23andme-dna-tests-23andme-responds.html




Yes it definitely is! And in case you’re wondering, some disturbing facts about 23 and Me and similar DNA testing companies have recently been coming up. And they are very shocking, especially about the concentration of where your DNA is going. Right now, 4 companies control the DNA of 26 million people, and yes, you read that right.

Four companies now have DNA information on more than 26 million people.

That’s roughly the combined population of New York State (nearly 20 million), Connecticut (3.5 million) and Chicago (2.7 million).

According to MIT Technology Review , the number of people who submitted their most personal genetic details to companies including 23andme and Ancestry.com doubled in 2018. At that rate, 100 million people will have provided information about their DNA make-up to private companies by the end of 2020.

Testing kits like AncestryDNA can be purchased on Amazon.com for $69 and are simple to use. Customers simply rub a cotton swab inside their mouth, seal it in a package included in the kit, mail it to a lab, and wait up to a month to find out their ethnic makeup.

While many people enjoy learning about their heritage, critics argue such that DNA information might allow insurance companies to discriminate against people predisposed to certain ailments.
https://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/ny-news-dna-ancestry-23andme-kits-insurance-20190212-story.html




Except it’s not dino DNA. It’s human DNA, sir. And by the way if you think that DNA testing screw ups are limited to just the US, you are wrong. In fact it’s a world wide problem that affects just about everyone who ponies up the $199 for the 23 & Me kit. Yes, the home DNA testing kits cost $200, and for that amount of money they had better get something right!

Mail-order genetic testing kits, which are all the rage right now, have been put through their paces by identical twins, and the results are a little baffling.

These test kits collect your DNA, typically by you spitting into a tube, and then you have to send the package back to the manufacturers for analysis. The results are shared electronically when ready.

To check out the accuracy of these test kits, Charlsie Agro – who fronts Canadian telly watchdog show Marketplace – and her identical twin sister Carly used them to submit their DNA to five separate consumer-grade genetic-testing outfits, and compared their results.

And their results were surprisingly varied. For one thing, the tests couldn't agree on where exactly their ancestors actually physically came from. Test kit supplier 23andMe reckoned the twins are about 40 per cent Italian, and 25 per cent Eastern European; AncestryDNA said they are about 40 per cent Russia or Eastern European, and 30 per cent Italian; and MyHeritageDNA concluded are about 60 per cent Balkan, and 20 per cent Greek.
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/01/18/dna_twins_gene_tests/




Except there’s no chaos theory here, at least not yet. There’s plenty of reasons why you should do a 23 & Me test but there’s also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. The fact that 26 million people have their DNA data in the hands of 4 companies is enough. But this also might shock you.

Last month, the DNA-testing company 23andMe secured Food and Drug Administration approval for a new screening for gene-based health risks. Along with celiac disease, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, breast cancer and several other medical conditions, the company can now screen clients for two mutations that have been linked to colorectal cancer.

But “F.D.A.-approved” does not necessarily mean “clinically useful.” 23andMe relies on much simpler technology than tests that you’d get at your doctor’s office. As a result, the company’s tests cannot tell you much about your actual risk of developing the diseases in question.

Here’s how those tests work — and why you should interpret them with caution.
They read your gene.

You can think of your genes as long text documents. The words are your genetic code. Genetic mutations are like typos — imperfections that scientists can spot with some scrutiny.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/02/01/opinion/23andme-cancer-dna-test-brca.html




That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #6-3

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Las Vegas! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Have a seat please! And give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? You know… I have just returned from Washington DC. This week there was an event that the religious right of America felt the need to have their voices heard. Which is their right under GAWD that they can do that. So what has the fundamentalists’ underwear in a wad? Why are they going so nuts over this one topic that they need to hold their OWN march? Well let’s take a look at what actually happened last week that got lost in the headlines!

Conservative radio host Ben Shapiro said Friday at the annual March for Life rally in Washington, D.C., that "no pro-life person would kill baby Hitler" because "baby Hitler was a baby," with the comments quickly going viral on social media.

“The argument, I guess here, is that would you kill baby Hitler?” Shapiro said in answering a question that appeared to be submitted online during a live broadcast at the anti-abortion rally.

“And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler, because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler, adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby," he continued.

"What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house where he would not grow up to be Hitler, right? That’s the idea.”

The hashtag #BabyHitler began trending on Twitter not long after the comments on Friday afternoon, drawing the ire of mostly liberals on the platform.
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/426100-ben-shapiro-at-march-for-life-rally-no-pro-life-person-would-kill-baby-hitler


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Yes. You know what? Let’s play the clip because it’s quite spectacular:



Now you know, my fair congregation, it says that in the Good Book that murder is illegal! But… that hasn’t stopped the Baby Hitler debate. In fact if you take a look at some past clips, judging on the actions of this weekend, well, they haven’t aged well.







So there you go, the very idea that murdering Baby Hitler has been the subject of some rather interesting debate. But the debate over killing Baby Hitler is actually pretty toxic for sponsors – they really don’t want anything to do with it.

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro has now lost two sponsors of his podcast after a live recording at an anti-abortion rally in which he read advertisements out to the crowd and also mulled over the philosophical dilemma of killing “baby Hitler.”

Calm, a sleep and meditation phone app, became the second company to drop its sponsorship of Shapiro after the right-wing host appeared before thousands of abortion opponents during Friday’s March for Life rally in Washington, D.C.

“We do not align with this message,” the company posted on Twitter. “We’re pulling our sponsorship.”

Earlier Friday night, another brand, the toothbrush maker Quip, told HuffPost it was ending its sponsorship of Shapiro’s podcast over the ad readings.

“Our mission is to make good oral health more accessible to everyone, and podcast advertising is one way we’re able to realize this,” Quip said in a statement. “However, following one of our ads being read in a venue we did not endorse, we have chosen to discontinue our advertising relationship with this show. We are also taking steps to ensure all of our advertising partners are aligned with our oral health mission and values.”

Right Wing Watch reporter Jared Holt first drew attention to the ad readouts during an appearance that had already made news over Shapiro’s “baby Hitler” moment.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/another-sponsor-just-dropped-ben-shapiro-after-his-bizarre-march-for-life-appearance_us_5c434e23e4b027c3bbc23d12




But while this is a touchy subject for advertisers, it’s apparently a touchy subject for Mr. Shapiro himself because thanks to his anti-abortion views, he wouldn’t kill Baby Hitler because… he’s a baby. That’s sound logic there!

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, appearing Friday as the keynote speaker of the annual March for Life on the National Mall in Washington, shared with his audience a head-scratching scenario about abortion and Adolf Hitler.

“The argument, I guess here, would you kill baby Hitler?” he started off, in a clip posted to Twitter. “And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler. Because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler — adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby.”

Shapiro, who is Jewish, offered a suggestion: “What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house, where he would not grow up to be Hitler.”

The crowd erupted into applause as the clip closed.

Shapiro, a prominent supporter of the pro-life movement, appeared to be making his remarks as part of his popular podcast, HuffPost reported.
https://www.haaretz.com/us-news/ben-shapiro-i-wouldn-t-kill-baby-hitler-1.6852105




By the way let’s hear it for my gospel choir. How great are they? Can I get an amen??? Anyone remember a few years ago when Pat Robertson had that clip about the mom who lost a baby to miscarriage and then he justified it? Let’s play that!



Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOO! Boo indeed. So they’re conflicted on the message TO THIS DAY in case you can’t tell! And by the way in case you’re wondering if there really is a Baby Hitler out there, well here’s your answer!

A Neo-Nazi couple who named their child after Adolf Hitler are facing jail after they were found guilty of belonging to a banned terrorist organisation.

Adam Thomas, 22, and his girlfriend, Claudia Patatas, 38, were convicted of being members of the far-right organisation National Action, which was outlawed in 2016.

Birmingham Crown Court heard the pair gave their baby the middle name “Adolf”, which self-confessed racist Thomas told jurors was done in “admiration” for the leader of Nazi Germany.

A third defendant - a prominent member of National Action's Midlands chapter, Daniel Bogunovic, 27, of Leicester, was also convicted on Monday following the seven-week trial.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/national-action-baby-adolf-hitler-terror-guilty-nazi-court-patatas-a8629846.html




So there really is a real Baby Hitler out there! Raised by Neo Nazis at that! Well, there’s a test for this debate right now! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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From: Idiots #6-10

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!



Holy shit! That’s crazy! I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Oh and hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse:



The comedy world was completely divided this week as Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to try her hand at stand up comedy. Yes, *THAT* Stormy Daniels. Professional stripper and the woman who some might argue is Donald Trump’s worst nightmare. And she’s also single-handedly responsible for ruining our childhoods more than any amount of Ghostbusters remakes ever could. So, Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to fill the late spot at the Chuckle Hut and actual comedians are split down the middle as to who really gets to fill that spot. Hey, wait a minute! That’s also what we do here! So does that mean I don’t get to play to an audience either? Oh wait, we play the coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot when there’s no possible chance of landing an audience. So let’s expand on this further, shall we?

Stormy Daniels is taking a spin at being a stand-up comedian.

The adult-film star — who’s been locked in an ongoing legal battle with President Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen — will perform at a comedy club in Houston later this month, the Joke Joint Comedy Club’s co-owner, Ken Reed, told KTRK-TV this week.

Daniels is suing Trump and Cohen to void a nondisclosure agreement about an affair she says she had with Trump in 2006. The payment over that agreement is one of the reasons Cohen was last year sentenced to three years in jail for bank fraud and campaign finance violations.

"I'm not going to judge her on her politics, or her day job, or anything else,” Reed said of Daniels’s upcoming sets. “She has an audience. She has a fanbase that want to see her. I think it's going to be a good show.”

The head of the comedy club said the idea for Daniels to deliver some one-liners came from her management team.
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/432680-stormy-daniels-turns-to-standup




Yeah so Stormy is heading to the stage everybody! Woooooooooooo!!!!! And what city will be lucky enough to witness this train wreck? Houston, Texas! And boy won’t they be so receptive there? Because Houston is prime MAGA country and I’m sure they won’t have any of it. But hey you never know what kind of audience you’re going to get!

Adult film star-turned-comedienne Stormy Daniels is taking her act on the road and starting her comedy tour in Houston.

Co-owner of the Joke Joint Comedy Club in southeast Houston, Ken Reed, says her management team reached out to him to schedule the show. He says he's gotten mixed opinions about her show coming to his club.

"I'd go see it. Check it out. See what it's about. I always like to laugh," said Aaron Holmes, a potential patron to the Stormy Daniels shows.

Meanwhile, Michael Nichols differs, saying, "Personally, not my preference, but, you know, to each his own."
https://abc13.com/entertainment/stormy-daniels-bringing-comedy-tour-to-houston/5167251/




Yes true, this is doo doo, or as some might put it, horseshit. So here’s where we get into the meat of this discussion. So actual stand up comedians aren’t having any of this. But as we’ve learned, Stormy is not the first celebrity to try their hand at stand-up comedy. Yeah we get it that comedy is not an easy profession to get into – it takes a lot of hard work to sell out the Chuckle Hut or the Joke Joint. So why so serious?

Stormy Daniels made waves after announcing a headlining gig at Joke Joint Comedy Showcase in Houston. Comedians nationwide took offense to Daniels, who likely has never done a comedy open mic in her life, headlining a comedy club on name recognition alone.

But here’s the rub: porn stars have been headlining comedy shows for years. Bree Olson made a web series, Bree Does Comedy, about an adult film star that becomes a stand-up. Sovereign Syre made a name for herself as a dual-action comedian and porn star. Ron Jeremy does a surprising number of club sets.

The prevalence of porn stars getting up onstage makes the backlash to Stormy Daniels doing stand-up only more confusing because this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Earlier this week, Laurie Kilmartin tweeted “Doing standup is not a reward for being famous. Please leave the weekend gigs for actual female comics,” in response to Daniel’s Tour Manager, Dwayne Crawford, announcing her first stand-up show in Texas. While Kilmartin says to “leave the weekends” for actual comics, the show is an independently-produced one-nighter on a Wednesday.
https://laughspin.com/stormy-daniels-upset-comedians/




Well, we would actually prefer not to do it that way. And even more and more actual comedians are speaking out against this idea. So is it a good move or a bad move? You be the judge. Of course we could and should afford a trip to Houston to witness the potential train wreck of a show, but yeah we’ll just save money and wait for the highlights to come out on Twitter! So what do actual comedians think of this move?

If you blinked and missed it, Stormy Daniels is starting her career in stand-up comedy. For the entertainers that have worked for years honing their craft, you can imagine that they would be pretty upset that Stormy gets a pass in the business just because she's got some stories to tell about Donald Trump. The former adult star will probably sell out her shows but according to Chris D'Elia, she shouldn't be referring to herself as a comedian.

When TMZ cameras caught up with the actor, he was asked about his thoughts on the move from porn to comedy. He actually gave a pretty insightful answer too. "I'm not a porn star if I just make a video of me fucking someone... I just made a video. She's not a comedian!" He goes on to say that people often look at stand-up as a second choice for when they've failed in their first career. Referring to the move as a cash grab, D'Elia notes that some of his peers are pissed about Stormy waltzing into the business so casually.

Instead of calling it a comedy tour, Chris suggests she change the name to a "public speaking" display. Let us know your thoughts on this? Does Stormy Daniels belong on the stage as a comedian?
https://www.hotnewhiphop.com/chris-delia-goes-off-on-stormy-daniels-for-starting-a-comedy-career-news.73678.html





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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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From: Idiots #6-8

It’s time once again to ask:



This week: TV shows who insist on interviewing Roseanne Barr. How is this still a thing? You know just like we think Twitter should have an “are you sure?” button before pressing send, we really need to have an intervention on reporters who still insist on interviewing the former TV star who has well, struggled to grasp reality. While we can’t fault Roseanne for that, we can certainly fault her for whatever batshit crazy thing is about to come out of her mouth. And this week, she certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

Roseanne Barr is at it again. The actress/comedienne who lost her job and her hit ABC show after her racist Twitter rant against Valerie Jarrett just took some shots at Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and it looks like some folks will never learn to keep their mouths shut.

Over the weekend, Barr posted a video to YouTube calling AOC a “bug-eyed bi*ch” and a “Farrakhan loving bi*ch” over her proposed Green New Deal; a plan intended to “achieve net-zero greenhouse gas emissions and create economic prosperity for all.”

This isn’t the first time Roseanne Barr has made offensive statements against women who deserve respect.

In deranged new video, Roseanne Barr says of Valerie Jarrett, ‘I thought the bitch was white’

Back in May, Roseanne Barr was abruptly fired from her own show after she tweeted racist remarks about former Barack Obama adviser, Valerie Jarrett.

“muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” Barr tweeted in response to a post about Jarrett.

ABC quickly fired her once they caught wind of the offensive tweets.
https://thegrio.com/2019/02/20/roseanne-barr-calls-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-a-big-eyed-bich-and-farrakhan-loving-bich/


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Now really, Roseanne. Did you learn anything? Apparently not. And now this gets even weirder with former confidant and the voice of Sideshow Bob himself, Kelsey Grammar, who not even 3 days before, called for Roseanne to be forgiven. Now really, Kelsey, what did you expect?

“Frasier” actor Kelsey Grammer said over the weekend that he thinks that “people should be forgiven” in regards to Roseanne Barr’s departure from her eponymous show last year.

Grammer said he was encouraged by the success of the reboot of “Roseanne,” adding that a reboot of “Frasier” is in the works, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Last year, Barr was fired by ABC after she made a joke about Valerie Jarrett, who worked s an adviser to former President Obama.

After cries of racism, Barr’s show was canceled. ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey said her comments were “abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.”

“I have no idea. I think people should be forgiven for their sins. Our life is so challenging. How do you ever make amends?” Grammer said of the incident.
https://www.theepochtimes.com/kelsey-grammer-on-roseanne-barr-people-should-be-forgiven-for-their-sins_2806052.html




And really, you really had to go there? When you interview Roseanne you are almost guaranteed anymore that she will say something batshit crazy. Because Roseanne suffers from a condition where the rectum recycles matter that goes straight to the cranial cavity. And you probably know this disease better as “shit for brains”. Well, her reasons for being fired are almost as crazy as the reason why she was fired in the first place.

Roseanne Barr, who offered a plethora of reasons why she was fired from her hit rebooted sitcom following a racist tweet last year, told The Jerusalem Post that "antisemitism" at ABC and her support for Israel helped do her in.

In an interview published Friday in the Jerusalem-based English-language newspaper ahead of her visit to address Israel's parliament, Barr expanded on one of the multiple theories she's offered to explain why she was kicked off her revived show, "Roseanne," last summer.

"I feel that what happened to me, a large part of it is antisemitism," Barr told the Post in a phone interview on Thursday from her home in Hawaii. "I think it played a part – the fact that I was never allowed to explain what I meant – and what I meant was a commentary on Iran – so they purposely mischaracterized what I said and wouldn't let me explain."

She said ABC acted in haste and did something "unprecedented that they've never done to any other artist" because she is "the most vocal person about Israel and (against) BDS," the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to pressure Israel over its treatment of Palestinians.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2019/01/11/roseanne-barr-tells-israelis-she-blames-abc-antisemitism-firing/2552869002/




Anti-semitism is to blame? Really, are you Walter Sobchak from the Big Lebowski, Roseanne? Look, we support free speech here, nobody is going to come and take your free speech rights away. But after one crazy thing after another, we really need a sanity check before you go out in public and start saying crazy shit. Because she said this about Natalie Portman in January.

The comedian also said in an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom that John Goodman should have "fought harder" for her.

Roseanne Barr criticized Natalie Portman and defended Kevin Hart ahead of her visit to Israel.

In an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom, the comedian took on Portman, who last April outraged many upon declining to take part in an award ceremony as the recipient of the Genesis Prize Laureate, explaining she "did not want to appear as endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu, who was to be giving a speech at the ceremony."

"It was really sickening, I find her repulsive," said Barr of Portman in the interview. "She was raised in incredible privilege of safety in the Jewish state and knows nothing about anti-Semitism."

Portman was born in Jerusalem and moved to the U.S. with her parents at the age of 3.

Added Barr, "She's the darling of the left here, the Jewish left in Hollywood, she is a complete hypocrite who grew up in safety and privilege, like I said before, and knows nothing about what she speaks of."
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/roseanne-barr-slams-natalie-portman-defends-kevin-hart-1177378




You’re going to attack Natalie Portman for being Jewish when you’re trying to claim anti-semitism is the reason why you got fired? That is what one might call “hypocrisy”. That’s enough to make you ask – interviewing Roseanne:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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From: Idiots #6-12

Hit it!



I don’t know if you saw the Florida Man challenge this week, but because of that, and the fact that we’re in Florida, we’re doing a special all Florida man edition of “People Are Dumb”, because, you know why, audience! Thank you. And yes, at the end of this segment, we’ll reveal the dumb thing that Florida Man did on December 5th, the day of the Top 10’s anniversary. But I want to start with this minor league team out of Jacksonville, which is affiliated with the Miami Marlins. They’re called the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimps, and they are planning what may be one of my favorite baseball promotions of all time – because it’s Florida Man. Well, the Jumbo Shrimp are planning a Florida Man themed night and it is going to be truly magical.

When your team is named the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, you’re clearly not opposed to pushing the envelope to have a little fun. The latest example is a “Florida Man” promotional night where the Miami Marlins’ Double-A affiliate will “attempt to break a weird Florida law every inning.”

The game on July 26 will be sponsored by a law office and pays homage to all the wacky crimes that emerge from our beloved state.

The Jumbo Shrimp — yes, that’s their real oxymoronic name; they changed it after more than 50 years as the Jacksonville Suns — have not announced which specific laws they will break.

I mean, why tip off the fuzz, right?

This promotion has already gotten the team national attention from the likes of ESPN, Sports Illustrated and CBS.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/miami-marlins/fl-sp-florida-man-night-jacksonvillle-jumbo-shrimp-20190320-story.html


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So that out of the way, let’s go to this story out of Seminole County, that’s Orlando don’t you know, where this guy robbed a liquor store wearing a Spiderman mask. But hey Spiderman is supposed to be a good guy! And I know that multiple Spiderman universes exist thanks to Into The Spiderverse, but really, come on, we need to do better people!!!

A liquor store just north of Orlando got a visit from Spider-Man back in January, only this web-slinger wasn’t of the friendly neighborhood variety.

Deputies said he’s the man who broke into Winn-Dixie Wine and Spirits in Casselberry, FL, wearing a Spider-Man mask to steal alcohol and cigarettes.

Deputy Bruce Milne responded to the burglary report. He immediately caught a break while reviewing surveillance footage.

The suspect first tried to open the store’s door without a mask on.

“To me, it was just a matter of absolute surprise that he would walk up to the door first, try to break in, and then it starts clicking in his head, ’Oh, I might get recognized if I do this without a mask on,’” Milne said.

Investigators said Wilburn went to a nearby thrift store where he found the Spider-Man mask.
https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-dons-Spider-Man-mask-during-liquor-store-burglary-507385931.html




That is true! Next up, we go to Milton, Florida for this story. Look, I love a good fast food rage story, you know that. And hey when you’re drunk and you’re craving one food and can’t shake that craving, sure, I know what that is like! When you’re drunk, you got to have that one food and nothing else will satisfy you. But don’t bring violence into it, that is a no no.

A Florida man has been arrested and charged with battery after he allegedly pushed a woman who wouldn’t let him into her house to eat egg rolls.

Police in Milton, Florida, have said in an offense report that the suspect, 44-year-old Keith Johnson, arrived at the victim’s house drunk, demanding to come in so that he could eat the Chinese foodstuff.

ABC affiliate WEARTV reported that Johnson kept ringing the doorbell despite the complainant repeatedly telling him she wasn’t going to let him in and didn’t want him in her home.

The victim claimed eventually that she said she would come out to give Johnson the egg rolls, which were inside the home. It is at this point, when she opened the door, that he shoved her inside.
https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-shoved-woman-because-he-wanted-eat-egg-rolls-her-house-claims-she-1370734




Oh that clip is a classic! Next up, we go to Gainesville for this one. That’s the home of the Florida Gators, don’t you know? Well here’s the thing, impersonating an officer *NEVER* ends well especially for you, and especially if you happen to come across an actual police officer. So this happened.

The latest Florida Man tale: A Deltona man impersonating a police officer uses a public warning system on a real cop.

A Deltona man playing policeman caught up to a real one and used an illegal public address system and lights to warn a sheriff’s sergeant driving an unmarked vehicle in Pierson, Volusia sheriff’s officials said.

Shortly after that, Sgt. Todd Smith turned on his real blue lights and pulled over Thomas Farmer, 64.

Farmer was arrested on Tuesday and charged with impersonating a law enforcement officer, a third-degree felony.

When the sergeant investigated the incident further, he learned that Thomas had previously been warned twice by deputies to stop using his horn, loudspeakers and lights, as his behavior is consistent with impersonating a police officer, his arrest report shows.
https://www.gainesville.com/news/20190320/oh-florida-man-playing-policeman-never-ends-well-for-you/2




And let’s not forget that in Florida, the ladies can be just as crazy as the men are! Why does this story remind me of the scene at the beginning of Super Troopers where the stoners are discussing who owns the water in a beach property? We go to Melbourne (Florida, not Australia) for this story.

A Melbourne fisherman says he regularly fishes along State Road A1A, south of the Sebastian Inlet, and has done so without incident for 20-some years.

Until Saturday.

That’s when Jose Ortiz told WPEC-TV 12 News that Joyce Khatibi, who owns property nearby in Vero Beach, started yelling at him from a dock and aimed a hose in his direction. She told him he can’t fish at his favorite spot anymore, “because she owns the water.”

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called and Ortiz was initially asked to leave when they looked at online property records. But a follow-up look at the records showed that Khatibi’s property line didn’t extend into the water, WPEC found.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228227534.html




Finally this week, even Florida animals are crazy! The animals!!!!! Why is my voice so high? Anyway, if there’s one thing that I learned from the movie Up, it’s that squirrels are dicks. And if you do come into contact with one, get the nearest attack dog on it, but if you don’t have one, run! But this story seriously has everything. We go to Sarasota for this story.

“Frickin squirrel attacked me,” Robby Armstrong posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, a day after the rodent bit him. His security cameras caught the attack, one Armstrong said was not unusual in the neighborhood.

The squirrel, which he said was raised by his neighbors when it was a baby and then released, bit other residents. Among the other bite victims of the aggressive rodent: Armstrong’s stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it, News Channel 8 reported.

Armstrong had enough, he posted. “I chased him around and shot him with a BB gun about 10 times but he is still alive so be on the lookout for a crazy squirrel.”

On Wednesday, Armstrong told the Miami Herald he was “fine” and that the squirrel “is still roaming around.”
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228166959.html




Oh and in case you’re wondering what our Florida Man Challenge story is, it’s Florida Man Arrested For Going Shoplifting After Job Interview. Florida Man, you’re the best. Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s it this week for our special all Florida Man edition of:




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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 2: The United States State Department
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From: Idiots #6-8





It’s time for the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries. It’s time to say goodbye, everyone, it’s been fun. We toured everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The United States State Department[/font]


So for our very last and final edition of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, we are going to tour one of the US government’s oldest and most prominent institutions – the United States State Department. The USSD is an institution as old as the United States itself. Yes, it’s the branch of the US government that was formerly headed by Rex Tillerson and is currently headed by guy who makes torture great again, Mike Pompeo. The USSD is similar to a ministry of foreign affairs in that it helps shape international and also domestic policies that define the United States. So what are some things that the USSD actually does? Well we all know how bad Huawei is, and we think Europe might be finally getting the message that you shouldn’t do business with the embattled cell phone manufacturer.

European governments are proving receptive to the idea that China’s Huawei poses security risks to telecoms networks, a senior U.S. cyber official said on Tuesday.

“We are highlighting inherent risks... in particular with Huawei,” Robert L. Strayer, the U.S. State Department’s ambassador for cyber and international communications told reporters at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.

Strayer said people in Europe were getting the message, but: “At the end of the day, each government and operator has to make its own decisions.”

A U.S. delegation is attending the wireless trade fair to persuade Europeans to follow the U.S. lead in shunning Huawei, the world’s biggest maker of telecoms equipment, which is competing for next-generation 5G mobile network contracts. (Reporting by Jack Stubbs and Isla Binnie Writing by Georgina Prodhan Editing by Keith Weir)
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/26/reuters-america-u-s-state-department-says-europe-is-getting-the-message-on-huawei.html




Well hopefully they won’t have to come to that. Another thing that the US department does is they issue travel warnings. Yes, they tell the citizens of the US that maybe they shouldn’t go to certain countries because reasons. Like maybe don’t go to the Bahamas right now because if you haven’t noticed the Gulf Of Mexico has these things called hurricanes, and they’ve been quite active lately.

The United States State Department issued another travel warning for the Bahamas today.

The U.S. State Department reissued a “Level 2: Exercise Increased Caution Due to Crime” for the Bahamas, stating:

“Violent crime, such as burglaries, armed robberies, and sexual assault, is common, even during the day and in tourist areas. Although the family islands are not crime-free, the vast majority of crime occurs on New Providence and Grand Bahama islands . . . Activities involving commercial recreational watercraft, including water tours, are not consistently regulated. Watercraft are often not maintained, and many companies do not have safety certifications to operate in The Bahamas. Jet-ski operators have been known to commit sexual assaults against tourists . . .”

There were three travel warnings issued by the U.S. last year for the Bahamas, by the U.S. Overseas Security Advisory Council (OSAC) in the Bahamas 2018 Crime & Safety Report, the U.S. State Department, and the U.S. Embassy in Nassau as well as one warning by Canada.
https://www.cruiselawnews.com/2019/02/articles/uncategorized/u-s-state-department-issues-another-travel-warning-for-the-bahamas/




Another thing that the US State Department does is that they determine what the United States can and cannot import and export. Remember how James Bond’s cover was that he was an importer – exporter of good? Even though it’s never implied what, exactly. But that’s really the job of the US State Department.

The US continues to pursue a zero-tolerance policy for its Iran oil sanctions and is urging importers to eliminate all purchases from the Middle East country, Francis Fannon, assistant secretary at the US State Department’s Bureau of Energy Resources, said Monday during a visit to Japan.

“The US policy is to drive Iranian exports to zero,” Fannon said during a media briefing in Tokyo. “That policy has not changed. We are unwavering in our policy.”

Fannon was asked whether Washington would consider extending Iran sanctions waivers when they expire in May, given falling supplies from Saudi Arabia as a result of the production cut agreement by OPEC and allies, and the ongoing crisis in sanctions-hit Venezuela.

He said it was premature to say whether the State Department would grant new waivers in May to the eight countries that were allowed to continue importing Iranian oil in return for promising to significantly cut their dependence on the supplies.
https://www.hellenicshippingnews.com/us-still-aims-to-cut-irans-oil-exports-to-zero-state-department-official/




And in case you can’t guess, under the Trump administration, the US state department has become well, less than flattering. So much in fact that nobody wants to work for a horrible boss like Mike Pompeo, or even worse – his boss, Donald J. Trump. Yes, the guy who we currently call president has made it completely miserable for anyone involved with the government. And well, it’s going to be a revolving door for the foreseeable future.

The number of Americans seeking a career in the U.S. diplomatic corps has declined in the first two years of the Trump administration, reaching the lowest level since 2008, according to State Department numbers obtained exclusively by NBC News.

Although President Donald Trump's unpredictable, go-it-alone foreign policy has caused apprehension among some prospective applicants, and led some senior diplomats to resign, the cause of the drop remains unclear.

But coupled with budget pressures and a survey showing declining morale at the State Department, veterans of the diplomatic corps worry that the long-term health of the institution charged with safeguarding America's interests abroad could be at risk if current trends continue.

The competitive process to join the ranks of U.S. diplomats starts with the Foreign Service Officer Test, a demanding exam given three times a year. Between October 2017 and October 2018, only 8,685 people chose to take the test, a 22 percent decline compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the State Department's numbers.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/fewer-americans-are-opting-careers-state-department-n973631




[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A+
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

There is no next week! This is it, we are done. Thanks for taking us down the government wormhole everybody, and see you on the other side!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Cypress Hill[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is America’s foremost premiere stoner band. Their latest album is called “Elephants On Acid”. You can see them on tour through March and April including a stop March 23rd at the Wiltern. Playing their song “Band Of Gypsies”, give it up for the one, the only Cypress Hill!





The Top 10 will be back next week with a brand new edition live from Denver! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 17, 2019, 05:17 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-14: Collusion Delusion, What's Your Confusion? Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-14: Collusion Delusion, What’s Your Confusion? Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up New York City??? How you guys doing, you doing good? It’s good to be back here in the Big Apple! Always love it when I’m here. But man what a fucking crazy week it’s been! Am I right about that? First off I want to say congratulations to Virginia for winning one of the craziest March Madness tournaments I’ve ever seen. Michigan State, Auburn, and Texas Tech, you can rest assured that you don’t have to go to Trump’s White House to eat a plate of cold fast food hamburders! Also congratulations to the Notre Dame Fighting Irish for winning their second Women’s Final Four in a row! UConn, you can also rest assured that you don’t have to go to the White House to eat plate of McDonalds. OK that’s all the time we have! I’d love to talk more sports because there’s a lot of it this week. You had that insane fight between Yasiel Puig and the entire Pittsburgh Pirates team, you had Magic’s very Trump-esque press conference announcing his departure from the Lakers, and you had that 23 hour Wrestlemania epic. But we got to talk movie trailers and what might be the ultimate movie SNAFU. Remember that scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton is explaining all of Tyler’s jobs and one was where he was splicing single frames of porn into family films? Well don’t do that. Also, don’t show kids, I don’t know, horror movie trailers! Yeah, a 17 year old can see “Us”. But a 4 year old should probably stick to Peppa Pig: The Movie. So children in the British town of Ipswitch were hoping to see the Peppa Pig flick, and instead were treated to the trailers for the upcoming horror flicks Ma and Brightburn. Ma is about a creepy stalker, and Brightburn is a superhero anti-hero flick about a man who uses his super powers to fight people who hurt him. Yeah maybe don’t show those movies to kids, and especially don’t show Ma to toddlers! Yeah, those people who let that happen should probably be sacked. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the subject of mobile homes and land ownership:



Where do we begin this week? In the first slot this week is the long awaited return of… The Trumper Games (1)!!! Oh yes, he’s back and this time he’s here to tell you about the latest departures from the Trump administration and how it’s essentially a revolving door at this point! In the second slot, is the guy who we currently call president, Donald Trump (2) and we’re going to find out what’s going on with his beef with wind power. Last week we brought up that he claims to know a lot about wind, but does he really? Spoiler alert! No! For the third slot this week, is also Donald J. Trump (3). And while he’s bragging about how he’s been “exonerated” in the Russian collusion probe, he’s still got massive tax fraud and a whole ton of other crimes he may be guilty of. In the fourth slot this week, we’re going to do something a bit different. In case you haven’t noticed, people are being racist out in the open (4) and we’re going to talk about a few stories and the things you can do if you happen to catch a MAGA supporter out in the wild. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) , and this week, we’re going to take a look at an absolutely horrifying story involving horse racing and Southern California’s Santa Anita race track.Taking the sixth slot, as always, is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to ask one of the daunting questions of our time – “What is fueling the future of religion?”. Only one way to find out! In the seventh slot this week, we have an all new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). So, this week it was revealed that former vice president Joe Biden is, well, a little bit of a creeper. But really, on the creep scale, he’s a 1 out of 10, and we will explain why. For the 8th seed this week, is the return of “This Fucking Guy”. And this week, Trump nominated Herman Cain, a man who I wouldn’t trust with $10, to run the Federal Reserve Board, so… why him? Because he’s Trump, and he doesn’t give a fuck, that’s why! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is one of my favorite segments, People Are Dumb! And we’ve got some absolutely ridiculous stories to tell you about this week! And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! And we begin expanded Round 2 coverage, and the first week it’s the Gun Nut Conference Championship. Florida vs Oregon. The winner moves on to the Final Four, the loser goes home! Plus we have some live music from Simple Creatures! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games: The Return
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I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! Yes, my pretties! It has been way too long to remember the last time I was on! Happy Trumper Games! Mmm… yes!!! Damn it, Charlie!! How many times have I told you to bring me the good champagne? What? Management says that we can’t afford any of it? How dare they! Oh, I’m sorry, I got carried away there. Oh Charlie, come back please! OK, so this week the President simply himself eliminated two important positions. Tribute Nielsen from the 9th District, and Tribute Alles from the 1st District! What? Don’t ask me how the Districts work because even I don’t know! So how did this all go down? Well, the President quite simply had an urge to fire somebody. And you know that never ends well!

Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigned Sunday night after a relatively short tenure as arguably the most aggressive secretary in the department’s short history — a stint that will most likely be remembered for the “zero tolerance” prosecution policy of late spring and early summer 2018 that resulted in the separation of thousands of families attempting to cross at the US-Mexico border.

But having the most hawkish DHS secretary in memory appears to not have been enough for Trump, who is enraged over the number of Central American families and asylum seekers coming into the United States.

Trump’s ongoing anger already led to the abrupt withdrawal of the nomination of acting Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Ron Vitiello on Thursday night. Friday morning, the president told reporters that he wanted to go in a “tougher direction.”

With nearly 100,000 migrants apprehended by Border Patrol agents along the US-Mexico border in March, Trump is ruminating angrily and obsessively over immigration, riffing in speeches about telling migrants “we’re full” and “go back.”
https://www.vox.com/2019/4/7/18299585/kirstjen-nielsen-trump-dhs-homeland-security-resign-secretary-new




So, let me get this straight. We went from… “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” to “Country is full! Moose out front should have told you!”. So this may have something to do with border security. Or it may not, with the president’s seemingly volatile temper, we never know which way this is going to go. But it’s impossible to restrain the President!

Since November 2016, there’s been a running argument among those who are skeptical of Donald Trump but not implacably opposed to his presidency: Should they go into the system and try to restrain the president’s worst impulses, for the good of the nation? Or should they remain on the outside, and avoid the scarlet C of collaboration?

Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen’s firing on Sunday should slam the door on that debate. Her tenure is the plainest example yet of the futility of trying to restrain Trump from inside—and the personal cost to those who try.

Over Nielsen’s 16 months in the job, the administration’s policy on the southern border has been a mess. The president has repeatedly threatened to close it, though at the moment he has backed down. He cut aid to countries in Central America’s Northern Triangle, which is only likely to increase immigration. There was a lengthy, pointless government shutdown over funding for a border wall. Border crossings, the metric the administration has chosen to emphasize as an indicator of an immigration crisis, are rising. Looming over all of this is the separation of thousands of families at the border last summer. And that list doesn’t even touch the chaos in other parts of DHS, such as FEMA, whose administrator resigned in February amid criticism of his spending and his handling of disasters.
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/04/kirstjen-nielsen-and-futility-restraining-trump/586657/




And that is certainly true! But, the resignation (or firing depending on which way you look at it) of Tribute Nielsen wasn’t the only significant elimination from the Trumper Games this week! No, the president has proven that he simply doesn’t care about security, as he fired longtime Secret Service head Tribute Alles from the 1st District!

United States Secret Service director Randolph "Tex" Alles is being removed from his position, multiple administration officials tell CNN.

President Donald Trump instructed his acting chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, to fire Alles. Alles remains in his position as of now but has been asked to leave.

The USSS director was told two weeks ago there would be a transition in leadership and he was asked to stay on until there was a replacement, according to a source close to the director.

Secret Service officials have been caught by surprise with the news and are only finding out through CNN, according to the source.

In an email to employees at his agency obtained by CNN's Jim Acosta, Alles told the workforce he was not fired, but was told weeks ago that the administration would be making "transitions in leadership" at the Department of Homeland Security.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/08/politics/randolph-tex-alles-secret-service-director/index.html




Mmmmmmmmmmmmm… yes. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, yes!!! So the President is proving himself to be above reproach! Yes, the Games have been going on for too long to the point where we can’t tell fact from fiction! Depending on what media outlet you read, was Tribute Alles fired and eliminated or did he simply resign? We may never know but for now consider Tribute Alles and Tribute Nielsen… ELIMINATED!!!!

The director of the U.S. Secret Service will leave his job, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee said, amid an investigation into a security breach at the president’s Mar-a-Lago resort and a broader shakeup within the Department of Homeland Security.

Ralph Alles “will be leaving shortly” from the Secret Service, Sanders said in a statement on Monday. A Chinese national, Yujing Zhang, was arrested March 30 after entering President Donald Trump’s Palm Beach, Florida, resort with electronics including a thumb drive containing malware and lying to a Secret Service agent about why she was there.

Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer said Alles should testify to Congress about the Mar-a-Lago incident.

“The public and Congress need to know the extent to which adversarial governments - like China - and their agents are attempting to gain access to, or conduct electronic surveillance on, conversations or other information regarding national security at President Trump’s properties,” Schumer said in a statement.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-04-08/secret-service-leader-to-depart-after-mar-a-lago-security-breach?utm_source=google&utm_medium=bd&cmpId=google





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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In the last week, Trump has really escalated his beef with wind power. I mean come on, what’s he got against windmills anyway? Well if you listen to his nonsense, you would think that windmills are godless bird killing monster machines that give you cancer and drive your property values down 75%! Oh the horror!!! What will we ever do to rid ourselves of these nightmares? That’s the question we should be asking ourselves! Instead we’re asking what the fuck is up with Trump and wind power? Well it might have something to do with Trump International in Scotland, or it might not. And by the way, for the purpose of this piece, we’re going to forgo our usual memes and clips and replace them with pictures of Trump’s hair blowing in the wind, because we all know how much he hates that!

Unlike President Trump’s inability to pronounce the word “origins,” his recurring anti-wind bloviating isn’t a sign of mental decline. Sure, it is stupid and wrong to say the sound of wind causes cancer (just who is the “alarmist” by the way?) or reduces real estate values (it doesn’t.) But it’s also dangerous. This and other anti-science campaigns like the ones against vaccinations and evolution are not just silly ignorance. They’re weaponized stupidity.

Trump’s tirades aren’t reflective of any deeply held belief or well-informed opinion, but instead appear to be informed by, and in service of, Big Oil’s anti-wind propaganda. For decades fossil fuel companies have attacked clean and renewable competition, from working to block local wind power installations to fighting state policies promoting wind. Key to that effort is spreading myths about wind power’s potential as well as its progress, which our Fox News President predictably regurgitates.

For example, take Trump’s bizarre recurring joke were he pretends to be someone who watches a lot of television (ok—no need to suspend disbelief on that part,) but has to turn it off when the wind isn’t blowing. Trump’s own Department of Energy debunks that ridiculous reliability argument (hi, batteries!) along with other energy myths. Wind power kills less birds than other forms of energy, it poses no human health threat, and it is increasingly more competitive than fossil fuels.

The sad irony of Trump’s weaponized stupidity is that it hurts the rural communities and red states who are benefiting “bigly” from wind power. For example, on November 9, 2016, the very day Trump was elected President, the Omaha World-Herald published a story about how “wind has saved family farms across a wide swath of the heartland.”
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-hate-wind-opinion-1385881




So before we go any further, we got to play the clip of this because it’s pretty spectacular. I mean how stupid is he?



Whew. Yeah so if you listen to Trump, you would learn that windmills are godless bird killing machines, and what will we do to end the horror? Well you could go with clean coal. Yeah what a great idea – let’s replace clean wind power with black lungs! And by the way with this ridiculous claim, he might have cost the clean energy industry a whole lot of jobs! What about the “JOBS! JOBS JOBS!” president? Well, he’s nowhere to be found!

- Iowa's wind energy industry says President Donald Trump's claims against wind energy are nothing more than hot air.

Wind energy supports 9,000 jobs in Iowa and that number increases every year.

Now, some of those employees fear President Trump's false claims, and stance on wind energy could reverse the trend.

“I wanted to get his opinion about what he thought about the future of our town,” Newton resident Patricia Scalabrini said.

Back in 2015, Channel 13 News hosted a town hall meeting in Newton. The city is home to two large wind turbine manufacturing plants, TPI Composites and Trinity Structural Towers.
https://whotv.com/2019/04/04/wind-turbine-manufacturing-city-fears-less-jobs-without-presidents-support/




There are a lot of those pictures by the way! We will have no shortage of material for this piece. But for Trump to make a claim so dangerously dumb and absurd is well, laughable at best. But you know what, let’s extrapolate his claims for a minute. I mean do windmills really cause cancer? The answer you know, is quite literally blowin’ in the wind.

Oh, really? Take note, Johns Hopkins. That’s a new one for the medical research community. But the logic appears to go something like this: Windmills make noise. The noise stresses people. Stress causes cancer. Who are these people dropping like flies because they live near windmills? Was the Netherlands recently wiped out and nobody bothered to tell us? How odd that Denmark, Spain, Portugal, Germany and Sweden all produce more wind energy per capita than the United States, yet they all have significantly lower cancer rates.

Actually, this link between stress and premature death is worth exploring. As it happens, the American Psychological Association has been performing annual “Street in America” surveys and found a significant uptick in 2018. Among the questions people are asked: Is thinking about the country’s future “a significant source of stress” and are you “stressed by the current political climate?” Last year, the “yes” answers increased to 69 percent and 62 percent, respectively, after charting in at 63 percent and 56 percent the previous year. Some in the profession have even assigned a name to the source of the added stress: “Trump Anxiety Disorder.”

Still, one could always opt for the truth. And the truth is that while wind power is, indeed, dependent on wind, that’s not really how the power grid works. Wind power is part of a large, interconnected system that relies on many sources of power, renewable energy among them. So even those folks living in the shadow of a turbine still get to watch their televisions when the wind dies down. Somewhere else, the wind is blowing or the sun is shining on solar cells or the turbines are spinning at the hydroelectric dam or the nuclear reactor, and so on. (And that’s not even getting into various renewable energy storage technologies that are in use or development.)

As for falling property values, that’s not been the experience of contemporary wind projects — and one of the reasons we believe, close to home, that Ocean City’s protests over off-shore wind development are particularly ill-advised and short-sighted given the threat of climate change and rising sea levels. Finally, one of President Trump’s other frequent talking points on wind — that turbines kill birds — is true to a modest extent but kind of laughable given his administration’s record on the environment. No doubt the Trump EPA and Interior Department have advanced policies that will kill a whole lot more living things prematurely, including humans, than any bunch of windmills could hope to do.
https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/editorial/bs-ed-0405-alternative-fact-20190404-story.html




Hey two ugly Trump shots in one! And by the way as to his claim about whether or not windmills are godless bird killing machines? Even the birds don’t like Trump! So if you listen to Trump’s claims about windmills, you would know that they are flat out absurd. Why is he making these completely insane claims about wind? Well, it could have something to do with his golf course!

Trevor Noah picked, in theory, a politically uncharged topic for Wednesday’s Daily Show: windmills. “They’re not just the most challenging obstacle on the putt-putt course,” he said. “No, they’re also Trump’s arch-enemy.”

In a series of public appearances over the past few months, “like a superhero whose parents were killed by a very slowly moving fan”, the president has established a pattern of decrying windmills and their attendant power source, the wind. He’s expressed numerous reasons for this war on wind, first and foremost the threat he believes they pose to television.

In a rally speech from earlier this year, Trump seemed to believe that a lack of wind would cut off power to TV sets – “I know a lot about wind,” he reassured the crowd.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Noah interjected. “Like, we all know the same amount about wind. What do you need to know about wind? You can use it to fly a kite, sometimes it screws up your umbrella, and if it goes in a circle, it’s a tornado.”
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2019/apr/04/trevor-noah-donald-trump-wind-stephen-colbert





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So this question remains in the Mueller probe – death or taxes? It’s a question as old as time itself, and one that will ultimately plague Trump for the rest of his term. The Trump administration has boiled the Mueller Report down to two words – “Collusion Delusion”. Funny, I don’t remember that Schoolhouse Rock song! Collusion delusion, what’s your confusion? Trying to take down a corrupt administration for treason! OK not as catchy as the original. How are we trying to take down the GOP this week? Well it’s about as simple as Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. Only Lucy kicks Charlie Brown in the side and spits in his face.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told lawmakers on Tuesday that White House lawyers had been in touch with his department about a congressional request for President Trump’s tax returns but said he had not personally spoken to Mr. Trump or those lawyers about how the matter was being handled.

Mr. Mnuchin’s disclosure is the first public acknowledgment of communication between the White House and the Treasury Department related to Mr. Trump’s tax returns and underscores the seriousness with which the president is taking the request for his personal financial records.

Mr. Mnuchin, who is testifying before two congressional committees on Tuesday, acknowledged that White House lawyers had been in touch with his department before the formal request was made last week. But he said that he had not been briefed on those discussions and described them as “informational.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/09/us/politics/mnuchin-trump-taxes.html




Ah, where is Newman when you need him? NEWMAN!!! Well, if Mueller doesn’t get Trump for Russian collusion, maybe he can get Trump for massive tax evasion! Yeah, while Trump is bragging about getting off the hook for collusion (or not), there’s plenty of other crimes he still might be guilty of, well, this week, anyway!

Right out of the gate on Tuesday, House Financial Services Chairwoman Maxine Waters used her first question to ask Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin whether he would comply with a Democratic request for copies of six years of the president’s personal and business tax returns by Wednesday's deadline.

“I want to acknowledge we have received the request,” Mnuchin said, dancing around any solid commitment but repeating the jist of testimony he provided at another hearing earlier Tuesday. “As I said before, we will follow the law. We are reviewing it with our internal legal department and I would leave it at that.”

Given the rate of turnover of senior officials forced from their jobs in the administration, Waters then asked Mnuchin whether he’s afraid he’ll be fired if he complies with the request.

“I’m not afraid of being fired at all,” Mnuchin answered.

Earlier Tuesday, Mnuchin testified that a White House lawyer communicated with Treasury Department lawyers before they received a request from House Democrats for President Donald Trump's tax returns.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/democratic-deadline-approaches-trumps-tax-returns-treasury-secretary/story?id=62248341




Yeah well you can’t work for Trump without being afraid of being fired, I mean it just goes naturally! If you work for Trump, you’re gonna get fired at some point. But taking down an entire political party is like getting something stuck in a vending machine. You’re not going to get it on your first try, you have to rock it back and forth a few times, then it goes over!

Some New York Democrats think they have a new way to get at President Donald Trump's tax returns.

A bill introduced Monday by a Democratic senator would allow the state Tax Department to release a president's state tax returns if any of three congressional committees asks for them.

Sen. Brad Holyman, D-Manhattan, said the measure would be a way to assist the Democratic-controlled House in its efforts to review the president's state returns, which would have a bevy of information since Trump and his businesses are based in New York.

"Americans deserve to know whether the person who sits in the highest office of the land has conflicts or potential conflicts of interest," Holyman said Monday.
https://www.democratandchronicle.com/story/news/politics/albany/2019/04/08/trump-tax-returns-how-new-york-democrats-may-have-way-get-them/3398718002/




Oh so the democrats may have a plan, but there is one obstacle standing in the democrats’ way – and that guy is White House Chief Of Staff and high school band leader who tells his students they’re not playing fast enough, Mick Mulvaney. He’s literally the heckler from Happy Gilmore! “You will not see these tax returns, jackass!!!!”.

Acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney vowed Sunday that congressional Democrats will "never" see President Donald Trump's tax returns and characterized their attempts to obtain copies of the returns as a "political stunt."

Last week, House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Richard Neal, D-Mass., asked the IRS to hand over six years of Trump’s tax returns by April 10. Neal cited his authority to request the returns under a law that says the Treasury Department "shall furnish" the committee with "any return or return information" upon request.

Mulvaney said during an interview on "Fox News Sunday" that Democrats "knew they're not going to get these taxes" and that "one of the fundamental principles of the IRS is to protect the confidentiality of you and me and everybody else who files taxes."

Democrats "know the terms under law by which the IRS can give them the documents, but political hit job is not one of those reasons," Mulvaney said.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/04/07/trump-tax-returns/3393709002/





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[font size="8"]Being Racist In Public
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The Donald J. Trump administration has given rise to some… well for the sake of this piece, bad apples, and he definitely tends to attract a certain type of individual. Now let’s talk about being openly racist in public. Remember last year when Los Angeles representative Maxine Waters called for both sides to be more civil to each other and it had the reverse effect and people actually started being meaner and nastier to each other? Yeah so did we! In fact since Trump took over the White House and took a wrecking ball to our nation’s institutions, people have become meaner and nastier to each other, and they’re doing it out in the open for everyone to see and capture on their cell phones. In fact let’s go to my home town of Anaheim, California, to expand on this topic.

A surveillance camera captured a customer's racially charged rant as he yelled at an employee over a sign that advertised a daily taco special in Spanish at a Mexican restaurant in Anaheim.

The incident took place Monday at Palapas Tacos, which is located at 1101 W. Lincoln Ave.

Juan Del Rio, the restaurant's owner, told KTLA on Wednesday that he thinks the man became upset over a sign in front of his business that advertises the different daily specials.

One of the daily specials is a Friday fish taco for $1.99.

The unidentified customer tried to order the item on a different day and was surprised when he was charged more than that.

“That’s bull----! It says it in Mexican. We’re not in Mexico, we’re in America,” the customer can be heard saying in the video. “This is America. Not Spanish.”
https://ktla.com/2019/03/27/it-says-it-in-mexican-were-not-in-mexico-video-captures-mans-racist-rant-over-taco-sign-in-anaheim/




That’s right! Let’s dissect this incident for a bit. I really wonder if people like this ever realize what they’re saying. No person who’s smart enough would ever say something like “This is America, not Spanish”. It’s English that’s our official language. But Trump and, arguably social media, has brought it out in people. It’s not just our racist friend in Anaheim, either. Check out this incident from East Haven, Connecticut. It’s almost identical to the one at Palapas Grill, identical!!! Why is my voice so high?

It's a racist and vulgar tirade caught on camera inside an East Haven grocery store is getting a lot of attention.

The Mayor of Hamden confirmed to News 8 that the woman at the center of it all has resigned from her job with Hamden Public Schools. Mayor Curt Balzano Leng told News 8 the woman did not work with children. She was a clerical worker at the school district's central offices. News 8 is not identifying her because, so far, no charges have been filed against her.

The video was taken inside a ShopRite in East Haven Friday night and spread like wildfire on social media.

The woman is seen and heard screaming curse words and racial slurs at an African-American customer in the store.

News 8 has chosen not to air the language because it is offensive and inappropriate for TV. The woman who lashed out did it in front of her children. Because of that, someone contacted DCF.
https://www.wtnh.com/news/connecticut/new-haven/racist-tirade-caught-on-camera-at-east-haven-grocery-store/1854767937




Yeah that’s true. Well, not me, anyway. All are welcome here at the Top 10, we don’t discriminate here, that’s for sure! So going back to social media, what can be done about this obviously 2010s problem of people saying whatever racist shit comes to mind? Well, racism, just like other bad behaviors, starts at the top. And while we can’t say Facebook is responsible for a lot of modern racism, but they’re at least taking steps to rid the world of these horrid people.

Facebook will ban Faith Goldy, Soldiers of Odin, the Canadian Nationalist Front, and other hate groups from across its platforms, the company said on Monday.

The ban will extend to any Facebook groups, pages, and Instagram accounts associated with those banned, which also includes Kevin Goudreau, Wolves of Odin, and the Aryan Strikeforce. These individuals and organizations have expressed white nationalist sentiments and violate Facebook’s policy on dangerous individuals and organizations, which bans “terrorist activity, organised hate, mass or serial murder, human trafficking, organised violence, or criminal activity.”

The ban comes after the social media giant has come under renewed scrutiny for allowing racism and hate to flourish on its platforms, and weeks after the terrorist attack in Christchurch, New Zealand, which was broadcast live on Facebook.

“Individuals and organizations who spread hate, attack, or call for the exclusion of others on the basis of who they are have no place on Facebook,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “That's why we have a policy on dangerous individuals and organizations, which states that we do not allow those who are engaged in offline ‘organized hate’ to have a presence on Facebook. The individuals and organizations we have banned today violate this policy, and they will no longer be allowed a presence on our services. Our work against organized hate is ongoing, and we will continue to review individuals, Pages, groups and content against our Community Standards.”
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/janelytvynenko/facebook-bans-faith-goldy-canadian-white-nationalists




Of course! I’m a white guy from California, and I don’t get outside much. I know. I’m usually cooped up in doors trying to figure out how to entertain you people! Thank you audience! But there are people who are acknowledging that this is a huge problem. But what can you do about it? You can ban people, you can chase them away, but we do have this thing called “freedom of speech”, and we have as much of a right to tell Nazis to fuck off as much as they have a right to be a Nazi. It works both ways, don’t you know?

Following the lead of the Wisconsin Public Health Association, the important recognition is the first step that will help members of the public deepen their ability to achieve racial equity in the community, by building on the progress already underway at Milwaukee County.

In 2016, the County Executive and County Board partnered to create the Office on African American Affairs to serve in an integral role, in recognizing and aiding in the resolution of Milwaukee County’s racial inequities for the benefit of all of its citizenry, and for the region to achieve its full potential.

“It is Milwaukee County’s responsibility to address racism, including seeking solutions to reshape the discourse, actively engaging all citizens in racial justice work,” said Abele. “Local government needs to take a leadership role and we intend to do so.”

The Office on African American Affairs has made significant strides since its inception. For example, all Milwaukee County leaders have been trained on racial equity; with all 4,000 employees slated to be trained in 2019. A new racial equity ambassador program has been launched with nearly 60 employees – from leadership to front-line staff – participate in racial equity action planning for Milwaukee County. The County has been in the process of incorporating a racial equity lens into all its budget decisions..
http://www.milwaukeeindependent.com/curated/racism-proclaimed-a-public-health-crisis-by-milwaukee-county-leaders/




Yeah probably! Now for the interest of social experiment, there’s Bill Mitchell. So who’s really being discriminated against here – black people or Trump supporters? Well, if you saw Bill Mitchell, he’s claiming the latter. Oh woe is me, I can’t wear my MAGA hat out in public! Well, this might be one of the dumbest things ever said by a Trump supporter, and that’s saying a lot!

On Friday night’s episode of his “YourVoice America” program, ardent pro-Trump commentator and right-wing conspiracy theorist Bill Mitchell insisted, once again, that racism is not a problem in America while his guest, one time “The Apprentice” contestant Stephanie Myers, declared that Trump supporters are the ones who are really facing discrimination in this country.

After declaring that every Trump supporter should come together for a “National MAGA Hat Day” in which they wear their red “Make America Great Again” hats in public in order to upset liberals, Mitchell complained that MAGA hats are treated as “a symbol of racism” even though actual racism in America is “just not happening.”

“Where is the racism?” he asked. “I go out to the grocery store, I go to the gas station, I go to restaurants, I go to the theater, I don’t see black people being discriminated against. I’m standing in line at the grocery store, there’s a black person in front of me, I’m talking to them, having a nice conversation, they check out just like I do. Nobody is denying them service. If you were to listen to the Democrats, they would say racism is the biggest problem in America today, that people are being hung from trees, that they’re being led off in chains. It’s just not happening. It’s not real.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/racism-not-real-maga/





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: A Day At The Races
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



Horse racing is a sport with a troubled past, and an equally troubled present. But one horse racing track is making headline after headline and it’s not in a good way. The Kentucky Derby is just a mere 3 weeks away but this is a story that must be addressed before the horse racing industry’s big event. However, the story that is concerning everyone is coming out of Arcadia, California. That city is home to the Santa Anita race track. And at Santa Anita, the abuse of horses is nothing to joke about.

Horse racing is among America’s oldest sports and perhaps the only one ever run out of the White House: Andrew Jackson operated a stable there during his presidency. Yet the multibillion-dollar industry is reeling as the Kentucky Derby approaches, with the death of yet another thoroughbred at the premier Santa Anita Park in California amplifying anxiety over whether the sport will continue in the state.

On Sunday, a gelding named Arms Runner fell during a race, sustaining a catastrophic injury to its right front leg that required the horse to be euthanized. It was the 23rd equine fatality since Dec. 26, and it came on only the third day of racing at the track since it had halted competition on March 5.

“I’m concerned about the publicity we’ve been getting,” said Bob Baffert, the Hall of Fame trainer who won the Triple Crown with American Pharoah in 2015 and with Justify last year. “This is our March Madness. But we’re having the wrong kind of madness. We feel like we’re all under the gun. We should be under the gun. You can’t defend a horse getting hurt.”

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“We know what the stakes are and understand that we might be the place that kills horse racing in California,” said Tim Ritvo, chief operating officer of the Stronach Group, which owns the track. “Yes, we are worried, but we are confident that the track is safe and have gone the extra mile on rules that put us more in line with the rest of the world. We got to keep our doors open.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/01/sports/santa-anita-horse-deaths.html




We’re pretty sure that’s going to be the least of your problems there. So what would happen to the future of horse racing? You know it is going to be a very sad day in Arcadia when the headline is that you hold a race that is a Kentucky Derby qualifier and no horses die during the race. Except for the fact that this actually happened.

Roadster, a 3-year-old colt, won the Santa Anita Derby on Saturday, the featured event at the embattled Santa Anita Park, where nearly two dozen horses have died since December.

It was the highlight of the 11-race program at the track, where 23 horses have had to be euthanized after training or racing incidents.

Roadster is trained by hall-of-famer Bob Baffert, who also trained recent Triple Crown winners Justify and American Pharoah.

Ninety-six horses were slated to run Saturday at the park’s flagship Derby Day. The highest-stakes race is a $1 million West Coast steppingstone to qualify for the 2019 Kentucky Derby. Purse winnings for the entire day total $2.75 million.

There were no immediate reports of serious injuries on Saturday.
https://ktla.com/2019/04/08/no-horses-died-during-big-weekend-at-embattled-santa-anita-race-track/




Actually that’s more likely the owners and not the actual horses themselves. Yes, let’s blame it on the owners for this atrocity. So how did things get this bad? And what can be done about it? It’s not so much as putting out a product but maintaining the safety of that product for not only the lives affected but also the customers and fans of the sport.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office has assigned investigators to look into the recent deaths of 22 horses at Santa Anita Park, according to DA spokesman Greg Risling.

The investigators will work with the California Horse Racing Board (CHRB) as it examines the equine fatalities. Shawn Loehr, CHRB chief of enforcement, is leading the CHRB investigation.

"We are cooperating fully with the District Attorney's Office. We will not be providing any additional details about the ongoing, confidential investigation," Loehr said.

The CHRB will perform a necropsy on any horse that dies within a CHRB-licensed facility. Based upon the findings, a complaint may be filed for any violation of CHRB rules or California law, Loehr said.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/15/us/santa-anita-racing-investigation/index.html




investigations might solve this thing, but then again they might not. The more that happens at Santa Anita, the more complicated the situation gets. Will it spell the end of horse racing in California? It might, but then again it might not. Santa Anita is just one of many race tracks in California which include Del Mar, Fresno, Los Alamitos, and Santa Anita. But how viable is the future of horse racing in general? It’s a sport with big money and deep pockets. Santa Anita is home to the Breeders Cup, a gateway to the Kentucky Derby. But after this, it may no longer be.

Should safety concerns or political pressures prevent Santa Anita from staging the Breeders’ Cup in November, Louisville stands ready to step up.

“If they need us to host, we could host on short notice,” Churchill Downs spokesman Darren Rogers said Friday.

“It’s something we can pull together very quickly,” said Karen Williams, president and chief operating officer of Louisville Tourism. “This city knows how to host Breeders’ Cup.”

Breeders’ Cup President Craig Fravel said Friday his organization was still committed to holding its world championships at Santa Anita on Nov. 1-2, but also acknowledged that he was “evaluating contingency plans.” Having lost 23 horses to fatal injuries since Dec. 26, the idyllic track in Arcadia, Calif. has become an unflattering focal point for an industry confronting cultural change and animal welfare activists.
https://www.courier-journal.com/story/sports/2019/04/05/louisville-churchill-downs-ready-if-breeders-cup-relocates/3379904002/




We will keep an eye on this story as it develops. This is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my brothers and sisters of New York City! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know, we live in exciting and troubling times. But that’s neither here, nor is it there. Tonight is all about predicting the future! Yes, we are going to see through time and space itself to try and figure out what the good LAWRD JAYSUS has in store for us!!! Can I get an amen?? Now, there’s many ways that one can try and predict the future! Now as a preacher myself, I can tell you that church attendance is in a decline. But I’m not going to bore you with statistics! I’m not that kind of preacher! Maybe we can win people back with this kind of in your face evangelism!

Salem Media Group is a national media company that includes on its website for investors and advertisers that the company is “targeting audiences interested in Christian and family-themed content and conservative values.” Despite this, the network employs Kurt Schlichter, who openly expresses his fetish for what would seem to be profoundly non-Christian principles.

Schlichter is currently employed as a senior columnist for Salem Media Group’s Townhall website, and also produces video content for far-right Canadian media outlet Rebel Media, which was founded by Ezra Levant. Rebel Media produces a constant stream of anti-Muslim, anti-LGBTQ, and far-right content, as well as Schlichter’s videos about whatever captured his attention that day. There, Schlichter contributes alongside figures like Gavin McInnes, who founded the Proud Boys hate group.

An article authored by Christian Vanderbrouk at The Bulwark last month examined talks in conservative circles about a “national divorce” or civil war, and it highlighted Schlichter’s book series. In those writings, Schlichter details a fictional account of a civil war that is eerily akin to the Turner Diaries, a fictional novel about a race war that was authored by a neo-Nazi and serves as a foundational text for America’s white nationalist movement. Vanderbrouk wrote, “Schlichter’s books and The Turner Diaries share the same paranoia that progressive governments, aided by white collaborators, are empowering blacks to enable them to rape white women and ultimately exterminate the white race.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/at-salem-media-kurt-schlichters-violent-rhetoric-is-christian-and-family-themed-content/




Yes, even the good LAWRD JAYSUS is utterly embarrassed at this one! I mean… whew. Where do we find these people? I mean is that religion? Is that what you want to go to every Sunday? I know that I don’t, that’s for sure! But…. My forces from HEAYVUN are telling us that there’s some obstacles to a clean and prosperous future for the ALMIGHTY!!! What’s holding us back? Well, it’s our DAYMONS here on earth!

At a recent “Seers Conference” in Austin, Texas, a “prophetic” Australian speaker said he felt called to teach “spiritual warfare 5.0” to conservative Christians who are contending for the soul of the city.

Reg Morais, who Charisma identifies as “a Singapore-born, half-Indian/half Portuguese man who has no connection to Austin,” had a warning:

Demonic activity is at work in the capital of Texas at this moment. Witches and warlocks are busy at work. Territorial forces are here in the capital city. The stronghold needs to be broken. Austin is ready for a major revival to come through.

Charisma writer A.B. Petrucci noted on Monday that Austin is known as a liberal city in a conservative state. “Because of the intense spiritual activity in Austin, Christians have felt intimidated at times or that it is a lost cause, abdicated to anti-Christian, anti-biblical forces,” Petrucci wrote.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/demons-witches-and-warlocks-are-blocking-believers-prayers-for-austin-texas-says-australian-seer/




So it is the devil that could drive more people to us!!! Can I get an amen??? But as I have said, there’s DAYMONIC forces at work here, folks! And all you can do is pray them away! It’s that simple. Why yes, I do believe that the forces of SAYTAN can be ultimately prayed away with this. Apparently there’s a satanic doomsday cult that’s out to enslave all of us!

Wallnau then moved on to talking about Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, waving a news report about the fact that she had been recruited to run for office by Justice Democrats. Wallnau treated this as astonishing news, as if conservative and Religious Right groups don’t aggressively recruit people to run for office. Wallnau claimed that Ocasio-Cortez described the experience as a kind of “spiritual awakening” and declared that he feels sorry for her, saying, “It’s a counterfeit. You look at her eyes, man … She’s been taken in. She’s drinking the Kool-Aid. She’s in a cult. She doesn’t even have a rational bone in her body. She’s like in the cult.”

But in the next breath Wallnau was wishing that patriotic Christian women would step forward to be “vetted” and run for office. Wallnau said that he is “furious” that there aren’t more Christian voices out there supporting Trump. He said that “we”—it’s not clear who he meant—are planning bus tours through swing states in 2020 to get Trump-supporting Christians to vote.

Wallnau began to close his video by praying for God to bless Trump and grant him wisdom, the spirit of Elijah, divine protection, and a supernatural capacity for calm and joy. And then he asked God to change the hiring process in the White House, the subject of complaints by some right-wing activists and a focus of a White House meeting organized by Ginni Thomas in January.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/media-paving-way-for-antichrist-aoc-is-in-a-cult-says-white-house-visiting-prophet-lance-wallnau/




Now my fair congregation, even the good LAWRD JAYSUS thinks this is utterly ridiculous and appalling, and he facepalmeth, justly! For it says that in our Good Book, which I have right here. But, while we have discussed the future of religion here, there’s one thing that can ultimately save religion and the future of humanity – sex! Lots and lots of sex!!!

At last week’s World Congress of Families global summit in Verona, Italy, author and podcaster Steve Turley told conservative activists that the future is theirs, because “conservative religionists” all over the world are having so many more babies than secularists that the secular population will dwindle to a small fraction of the world’s population.

Secularists’ below-replacement fertility rate, he said, guarantees that starting around 2030, the secular population will begin a steady decline to no more than 10 to 14 percent of national populations. Turley has made this case before, which is presumably why he was invited to speak at the WCF summit. In his book “The Return of Christendom: Demography, Politics, and the Coming Christian Majority,” he wrote, “I want to argue that we are actually seeing nothing less than a conservative Christian resurgence in our demographics and politics that promises not suicide but rather the salvation of the West.”

Demonstrating the power of a higher birthrate among conservative religionists, Turley said at WCF, is demographers’ predictions that there will be 300 million Mormons in America by the end of this century, and 300 million Amish by the end of the next. So, he said, America’s future will be “evangelical, Mormon and Amish.” As RWW noted in our preview to the WCF summit, Turley recently published a podcast he titled, “WHITES Projected to Become Dominant SUPERMAJORITY in U.S.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/baby-making-will-seal-americas-evangelical-mormon-and-amish-future-says-wcf-speaker/




Well, you heard the man!!! Go!!! Go!!!! Go!!!!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Joe Biden Kissy Face
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Guys, let’s talk for a minute. If the #MeToo movement has taught us anything, it’s don’t be a creeper, under any circumstances! There’s no good way to talk yourself out of being a creeper if you get caught doing so. Just ask Al Franken. Touched a nerve there, didn’t I? “Sorry, officer, but I didn’t mean to touch that woman’s breasts, I was reaching for a soda lid and my hand may have accidentally brushed up against her breasts.”. NO!!! That never works! So it turns out that former vice president Joe Biden may be a little bit of a creeper. But really, on the creep scale, he’s about a 1 out of 10. To put things in perspective, Trump is a 9 out of 10. Al Franken is about a 2 out of 10. Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is about a 5 out of 10. Bill O’Reilly is about a 7 out of 10. Who’s a full blown 10 you might ask? Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson, R. Kelly. So don’t be a creeper no matter what the level. How did this all go down you might ask? Here’s how.

Yet another woman has come forward to accuse former Vice President Joe Biden of inappropriate physical contact.

Sofie Karasek, an advocate for sexual assault survivors, penned an op-ed in The Washington Post Thursday detailing the backstory behind a viral photo of herself and Biden after the 2016 Oscars, the “sense of shame and belittlement” she began to feel about it and calling for Biden to take greater responsibility for his overly physical behavior in the past.

Karasek had just appeared onstage at the Academy Awards alongside survivors of sexual assault and advocates while Lady Gaga performed a song from a documentary about assault on college campuses. Biden had introduced the group, and Karasek wrote that afterward she told him the story of a woman who days before had died by suicide after being sexually assaulted.

In response to her story, Karasek wrote, Biden “leaned down, took my hands and put his forehead to mine.”
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/04/05/biden-inappropriate-physical-contact-1258876




Yeah here’s the thing guys – if you don’t want to get pegged as a creeper, maybe, I don’t know, don’t do creepy things. See, I talk to women in the workplace like I’m in a sexual harassment training seminar video. “Oh I had a very nice encounter in the break room, Sara, I hope that you will report this to HR as such, and let’s do this again some time!”. Notice how unintimidating that was? It sounds a hell of a lot better than “Hey Christina, want to hear a good rape joke?”. That would earn you a one way ticket to a meeting with HR. But this wasn’t just a single encounter with the former VP, it’s painting a disturbing pattern of creepy old guy behavior.

Former Vice President Joe Biden has now been accused by two women of making them uncomfortable with unwanted behavior, potentially creating a challenge for his 2020 campaign if he does make his widely anticipated entry into the presidential race.

Biden addressed the allegations in an interview on Sunday, saying that in his four decades as a politician he has "offered countless handshakes, hugs, expressions of affection, support and comfort" but that he doesn't think he ever "acted inappropriately."

None of Biden's potential 2020 Democratic primary opponents have said the allegations should keep him out of the race but none of them have rushed to his defense either. White House adviser Kellyanne Conway has already attacked him as "Creepy Uncle Joe" despite President Donald Trump's own history of alleged sexual misconduct.

Here is a look at the allegations against Biden and the responses so far:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/04/02/joe-biden-what-we-know-lucy-flores-and-amy-lappos-allegations/3339616002/




Excuse me a minute… but see? Nobody is excused from creeping no matter what your race, gender, creed, social, or economic status. If you’re a creeper, you’re a creeper. I mean Trump bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and walked in on underage girls getting dressed in a locker room. And you know what? We made that guy president! So there is hope for Joe Biden after all! I’m an optimist. But leave it to this guy to turn a creepy situation even creepier! I’m of course talking about Trump and what he did regarding Joe Biden.

Donald Trump has tweeted an edited video of Joe Biden, apparently showing the former vice president sneaking up on himself during a video in which he addresses sexual misconduct allegations.

The president's tweet comes just a day after Mr Biden posted his original video, in which he addressed accusations from at least four women that he had touched them inappropriately in the past. None of the women accused Mr Biden of sexual assault or harassment, and Mr Biden said in the video that he plans on being more cognisant of personal space going forward.

"WELCOME BACK JOE!" Mr Trump wrote alongside the video, which showed a superimposed of the vice president sneaking up on Mr Biden and then appearing to massage his shoulders.

The accusations against Mr Biden first emerged after former Nevada state assemblywoman Lucy Flores came forward, saying that she felt violated by Mr Biden at a 2014 campaign stop in which he approached her from behind and kissed her on the back of the head. Ms Flores was joined by at least three other women who similarly said that they felt uncomfortable by the way the former vice president had touched them.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-tweet-joe-biden-video-touching-personal-space-accusations-a8855636.html




You know what? We got to show that tweet, because it’s a whole new level of ick factor, and I say this as a male myself. Let’s show that:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1113862077842640898

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww… Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Wait… ew. You know here’s where I could point out all the people who’ve come to the former VP’s defense. But we don’t have that kind of time, there’s still 3 entries left this week! Plus we got Simple Creatures waiting to perform! So instead I’m going to tell you why women need an extra layer of defense against creepers – the creepiest news host of all time, Tucker Carlson. Who last week said something so jaw dropping unbelievably creepy that you can’t help but wonder what he does when the cameras aren’t looking.

Days after facing widespread ridicule and criticism for saying primetime cable news competitor Chris Hayes is “what every man would be” if feminists had absolute power, Fox News host Tucker Carlson wondered Thursday how America wound up being a country where “feminists do science.”

During Thursday night’s broadcast of Tucker Carlson Tonight, the conservative primetime star shared a clip—full of scary music and eerie effects—of Democratic politicians warning about the dangers of climate change, mockingly noting that it’s “so bad they’re running out of adjectives.”

Carlson then highlighted a recent study that asks whether “toxic masculinity” is a driver behind climate change by arguing that “when men’s gender identity was threatened, they tried to reassert their masculinity through environmentally damaging choices.” The report added that once this “unconscious bias is revealed, it has the potential to help society shift our increasingly precarious relationship with the environment for the better.”

Or, the way Carlson sees it, “if we want to save the environment we have to suppress men.”
https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-how-did-we-wind-up-with-a-country-in-which-feminists-do-science





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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy
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Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Let’s return America to the good old days of the Gold Standard! Said nobody ever. Except for the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. He thinks it’s a great idea! Because he knows more about economics than anybody. It’s gonna be huge, believe me, folks! Even actual economists say this idea is completely fucking insane. But in this administration, who needs “facts” and “experts”? Which is why Trump wants to take control of the Fed and put this fucking guy in charge of it. Herman Cain. Yeah you don’t put a guy like Herman Cain in charge of the Fed, a government agency that can topple whole economies with a two word tweet! Why put a guy like Herman Cain in charge of the Fed? Because he’s Trump, and he doesn't give a fuck, that’s why!

The Federal Reserve — our nation’s central bank, or the bank for banks — has enormous power. That’s why, at its founding in 1913, it was deliberately created to be a step removed from day-to-day politics.

With his verbal attacks on the Fed and plans to nominate two yes-men to be members, however, it’s clear that President Donald Trump does not respect that distance. The question is whether we should be alarmed, given the Fed’s immense authority to control the U.S. economy.

The Fed can literally create money out of thin air, by buying Treasury securities. It simply creates deposits on its own account to pay for them, thus expanding the money supply. When it wishes to shrink the money supply, it sells securities from its portfolio and private bank deposits are extinguished.

The Fed regulates banks and controls the interest rate that banks charge each other on overnight loans, called the federal funds rate. It also controls the interest rate on loans it makes to private banks, known as the discount rate. And the Fed controls the percentage of deposits that banks must keep in reserve to make sure they always have the resources to pay depositors who need their money.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2019/04/08/donald-trump-herman-cain-stephen-moore-federal-reserve-column/3390267002/




That’s just how volatile the nation’s central bank is. And what makes Herman Cain qualified to run the nation’s central bank? He could barely run a pizza parlor chain! And in case you’re wondering what some of Cain’s greatest hits are, well, here’s a couple of them!





Yeah so a guy who spends money on insanely creepy campaign ads, can’t remember how to properly pronounce “Uzbekistan”, and came up with an insane economic theory is somehow qualified to run the most powerful bank in the world. But he’s a friend of Trump! And Trump loves him some loyalty! Maybe that’s the art of the deal?

Former pizza chain executive Herman Cain, U.S. President Donald Trump’s pick for a position on the Federal Reserve’s interest-rate setting panel, runs a political fundraising group that has spent more than half its money supporting Trump’s reelection.

Cain, himself a former Republican presidential candidate and a long-time conservative activist, chairs America Fighting Back PAC, a political action committee created “by a group of President Trump’s most committed supporters,” according to the group’s website. Its mission is to fight “disrespectful, dishonest and destructive news” about Trump and bolster a movement of voters to fight for his reelection in 2020.

Trump, who described Cain as “a friend” on Thursday, said he plans to nominate the former head of Godfather’s Pizza to one of two vacancies on the Fed’s seven-member Board of Governors. Trump just two weeks ago said he would nominate conservative economic commentator Stephen Moore to the other vacant seat on the Fed’s board.

Trump’s plan to nominate an overt loyalist for a spot on the Fed board comes as Trump over and over again lambastes the central bank for raising interest rates four times last year and could checker the Fed’s long-cherished standing as an independent, apolitical body. Moore is also a longtime Trump ally who has joined him in criticizing last year’s rate hikes.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-fed-cain/as-trump-eyed-cain-for-fed-cain-raised-money-for-trump-idUSKCN1RH060




And Trump is trusting this guy with the Fed? I wouldn't trust him with $5! So what’s he going to do, exactly if he’s put in charge of the Fed? Put ads curing your erectile dysfunction on ATM machines across the nation? Yeah that’s the last place I want to see an ad for boner pills is when I’m at the ATM getting some cash. Really, this fucking guy.

It has been more than two years since those giddy weeks when the political press brimmed with stories about Herman Cain, front-runner for the Republican nomination for president of the United States. But Cain die-hards can still stay abreast of the ex-candidate’s positions, via his e-mail list. Roughly 360,000 people receive the messages, which are sent through Best of Cain, the online media venture he set up after the campaign. The e-mails from Cain and the website’s small stable of writers arrive at a steady clip, many of them elucidating the Cain take on the news of the day. “A serious leader would have abandoned Obamacare long ago,” one proclaimed in December, clearing up any doubt about where Cain stood on the Affordable Care Act’s less-than-smooth rollout.

But sometimes Cain’s digital missives, like a conversation with a weird uncle, veer into the unexpected. An example—there are more and more to choose from—is a message that Cain sent to his followers last July bearing the subject line, “BREAKTHROUGH: REMEDY FOR ED!”

“ED” stood for, yes, erectile dysfunction. As for the all-caps-worthy remedy, its details were not immediately clear. Language in the body of the message identified the potion as a product of Natural Breakthroughs Research LLC; a link farther down led to a website urging men to submit their e-mail addresses in order to receive “a cool free report” on impotence abatement. Sitting through a lengthy video finally yielded more information on the wonder drug, TestoMax 200, a putative natural testosterone booster. The e-mail’s final offer varied by recipient—a common marketing tactic—but could be $69.95 for a month’s supply, or $47 for something called “The Potency Programme.” Not interested? Are you sure? “Women get lonely very easily,” began one version of the pop-up windows barring the exit. “Once you leave this page, your chances of getting your manhood mojo back will decrease dramatically.”

The erectile-dysfunction ad is one of more than 50 similar pitches for miracle cures and easy-money tricks that Cain has passed along to his e-mail followers over the past two years. While he has been particularly unabashed in his embrace of the practice, he is not the only past presidential candidate hawking sketchy products. Newt Gingrich now pings the e-mail subscribers to his Gingrich Productions with messages from an investment firm formed by a conspiracy theorist successfully sued for fraud by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Mike Huckabee uses his own production company’s list to blast out links to heart-disease fixes and can’t-miss annuities.
https://newrepublic.com/article/116237/newt-gingrich-herman-cain-are-now-making-money-spam




I’m pretty sure that’s future footage of Trump there! And by the way, speaking of Trump, you know he sure can pick ‘em folks! And you know what they always say about judging the kind of person you are by the company you keep. If Trump is a serial sexual predator, guess what? Herman Cain is a guy who has had multiple affairs!

Payments to women who complained of sexual harassment. Accusations of groping. Allegations of a 13-year extramarital affair.

As President Trump moves ahead with his plan to nominate Herman Cain, a 2012 Republican presidential candidate, for a seat on the Federal Reserve’s board of governors, Republican lawmakers are being forced to confront a fresh round of uncomfortable allegations of sexual misconduct against women as the 2020 campaign begins.

A day after Mr. Trump made the choice of Mr. Cain official, Senate Republicans expressed quiet anxiety over the prospect of another #MeToo minefield even as the White House exalted the decision.

“President Trump’s statement that Herman Cain is ‘a truly outstanding individual’ is a message that the president of the United States is willing to ignore the allegations of a number of women who alleged that Herman Cain either sexually harassed them or had an affair with them,” said Gloria Allred, a lawyer who represented two of Mr. Cain’s accusers. “This message is an insult to women and should be condemned by the Republican Party and all those who care about respect and dignity for women.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/05/business/herman-cain-federal-reserve.html




Hey Gloria, let me fill you in on a little secret about the modern GOP: They have absolutely no respect for women! Other than the cute, 125lb blond women who populate Fox News reports every night, they can stay, the rest, they don’t really care for! So that out of the way, once again Trump nominates someone who could quite possibly be the least qualified person for the job! Because, reasons.

That should be the Senate’s response if President Trump actually nominates his friend Herman Cain, the former pizza magnate turned failed Republican presidential candidate, to the Federal Reserve Board, as Trump said he plans to do.

Cain would be Trump’s second proposed addition to the Fed in as many weeks, the other being longtime partisan operative Stephen Moore. Even before this month, though, Trump had ample opportunity to reshape the Fed in his anti-institutional, anti-intellectual image. Thankfully — surprisingly, in fact — he had refrained.

For other executive branch appointments, Trump seems to have selected nominees based on who would be the absolute worst person for any given position. But until recently, his Fed choices seemed ... totally reasonable. He has picked four out of the five already-confirmed Fed board members, all of whom are competent, well-qualified professionals — all reliable Republicans, too, but Republicans who have performed their jobs apolitically. Exactly as members of the central bank, which is politically independent, are supposed to do.

Of course, that benign neglect led to some policy outcomes the president has disliked — specifically, higher interest rates. Perhaps hoping to pack the Fed with more pliant appointees, Trump has now homed in on these two.
https://www.registerguard.com/opinion/20190406/rampell-trumps-next-possible-fed-nominee-cant-understand-basic-policy-issues




Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Wait a minute, ew. That right there is a total creep face, and pretty much everyone in the Trump administration has one. That’s Herman Cain, this week’s This Fucking Guy!




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now people are people, and people are dumb. I want to start with this bizarre story out of Rogers, Arkansas. You know, you might think you know what true boredom is, but until you see this story, these guys take it to a whole new level! But as we’ve seen countless times on this program, don’t be surprised at all when you give an idiot a gun and they do something stupid with it, and there’s lots of these stories out there. But this one might be one of my favorites so far, just because it’s so jaw-droppingly stupid that you can’t help but wonder how they manage to even get dressed in the morning. Enough of my rambling, Let’s get to it.

Two Arkansas men have been arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault after police say they shot each other while taking turns wearing a bulletproof vest.

The Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reports that 50-year-old Charles Ferris and 36-year-old Christopher Hicks were arrested Monday.

A police affidavit says the two men are neighbors and were drinking on a deck Sunday when Ferris told Hicks to shoot him with a .22-caliber rifle while Ferris wore the vest. The affidavit says the shot left a red mark on Ferris' chest and that he was angry because it hurt.

The affidavit says Hicks then put on the vest and Ferris "unloaded the clip" into his back, causing bruises but no serious injuries.
https://www.kare11.com/article/news/nation-world/2-men-accused-of-shooting-each-other-while-wearing-a-bulletproof-vest/89-6b7e9506-0465-4fd8-a816-e414c8134ba1?fbclid=IwAR1WB07pbRlPdqO6-Mrr8KuZebUeGBgEtLfl5-WMbUgG_Car49-4TW-owOQ




Yeah so that happened! Next up, what would a People Are Dumb segment be without a visit from our good friend Florida Man? Look, I get it, you don’t want to go to work, you’d literally rather be just about anywhere but sitting in front of a desk staring at a computer screen all day. Well, don’t do what Florida Man did. Hell, that should be a meme right there. Just don’t do this!

Brian Anderson, 32, told deputies with the Polk County Sheriff's Office two unknown suspects had taken his money, necklace, and his phone before jumping into a car and driving away.

Deputies responded to the scene however shortly realized it never happened. Anderson confessed he made up the story because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at a Hardee's where he works.

The sheriff's office joked in a Facebook post "On the bright side, Brian didn’t have to go to his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant."

"He's already a pedigree thug. Forty-one felony arrests, eight misdemeanor arrests, been to prison four times," said Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

"What if somebody really needed that deputy at a crash scene to do CPR? What if somebody really needed that deputy to save their life? And he has got not only this deputy, but patrol deputies who are setting up perimeters, helicopters that are going to be flying in and trying to locate the suspects. Drone units, K-9 units, possibly all tied up."
https://www.wfla.com/news/polk-county/polk-county-man-fakes-armed-robbery-to-avoid-going-to-work/1880692077




Of course these days, George would probably be taken out by a SWAT team and there would be at least a few hour standoff. Jerry might be taken into custody too. Next up – of course we got to stick to Florida because they crazy. Remember that movie Spaceballs? Remember the late great John Candy’s character where he was a half man – half dog? Well here’s one Florida Man who is his own best friend.

A forensic psychologist says a former college student believed he was "half-dog, half-man" when he fatally attacked a man and woman at their home and was found biting one of their faces.

The Palm Beach Post reports Dr. Phillip Resnick made the conclusion in a 38-page mental-health report released this week by the Martin County State Attorney's Office.

Investigators say they found Austin Harrouff, now 22, biting John Stevens' face while making growling noises on Aug. 15, 2016.

Resnick's report says the fact that Harrouff persisted in biting Stevens "in the presence of police officers, in spite of threats of being shot, being tased and receiving multiple kicks to the head, suggests that Mr. Harrouff was actively psychotic."

https://www.woodtv.com/news/national/doctor-florida-man-believed-he-was-half-man-half-dog-/1885878348




Ah, I love that movie, I have seen it a hundred times, I could see it 100 more. Next up – dumb police officers! Yes, even the Po-Pos aren’t immune from stupidity. We go to the great city of Detroit for this story. Look, if you’re being trained to analyze the blood alcohol of a person, maybe I don’t know, don’t show up to the training seminar drunk! It’s that simple!

A Detroit Police officer attended a Michigan State Police training class with alcohol in his system, officials confirm.

WXYZ-TV (Channel 7) reported that the training took place Thursday, and Detroit Police Chief told the TV station that an internal investigation would be conducted.

“The bottom line is that he showed up to work under the influence of alcohol,” Craig told the television station. “This was a Michigan State Police training, he blew a .08. Certainly that’s a problem, it’s a problem for me, and it may be a problem on how it was handled after that.”

The officer was not disciplined by MSP at the event.
https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/wayne/2019/04/06/detroit-police-officer-drunk-michigan-state-police/3386414002/?fbclid=IwAR0ykN8ZJns6vmDPbi_pGmdRDgf1Mqx7iR7tLM7LTaF_NUcpdJMi8b_Y-uA




There’s a Simpsons clip for everything! Next up, we have to go back to the Sunshine State for this one, and maybe this is one way to unclog a toilet without having to call Roto Rooter? But once again, if you give an idiot with a gun, don’t be surprised when they do something stupid with it!

A man from St. Petersburg, Florida, shocked his roommate Saturday when he fired a gun inside their house and shattered a toilet.

Police said the bullet tore through numerous walls before it destroyed the porcelain throne, local station WTSP reported Sunday. Police arrested Ryan Rawson Montgomery, 40, who, according to an affidavit, claimed he was playing with the gun when it unexpectedly discharged.

After the incident, Montgomery tossed the gun in an area of water nearby. A visitor, Sheryl Jackson, 64, took the bullet, later telling police she wanted to hide it.

Police charged both Jackson and Montgomery with tampering with physical evidence. Also charged with culpable negligence and violating probation in Charlotte County, Montgomery is being held on a bail of $2,250. Jackson was released on a $2,000 bail, WTSP reported.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/110315982#post5




Ah, gotta love Cousin Eddie! Finally this week remember the movie Fight Club? When Edward Norton and Brad Pitt started fighting with each other but then it turned out… oh come on, do I really have to do a spoiler for this one??? Yeah, it turns out that Edward Norton was really fighting himself the entire time because, multiple personalities. Well, this guy may be a member of Project Mayhem because this happened.

Police in New Jersey have arrested a man they say was "fighting himself" at Wawa.

It happened on Tuesday around 9 p.m. at a Wawa located in Little Egg Harbor Township.

Police say they arrived to find 37-year-old Jason Cramer reportedly acting suspicious.

Cramer allegedly told a witness that he was under the influence of something.

Officers who spoke with Cramer sent him on his way after he supposedly made arrangements to get home.

But 15 minutes later, police were back at the same Wawa after Cramer was reportedly fighting with himself, punching his face and scratching his eyes.
https://abc7ny.com/5221210/?ex_cid=TA_WABC_FB&utm_campaign=trueAnthem%3A%20Trending%20Content&utm_content=5c9d20f200bd4700014ff8ff&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR0Jz_lmj38IZSAlVMXzzAYzMLufFfyO-NOy_FCVRoApu2BY3p_oSBwweTg




That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Last week we wrapped up Round 1 coverage and it was quite exciting! Georgia knocked off last year’s champion Texas with a 3 pointer buzzer beater in double overtime with one of the highest scores of the tournament. Meanwhile, Alabama wasted no time showing Oklahoma who owns the Family Values conference and routed Oklahoma by a whopping score difference of 15! This week, we begin the expanded Round 2 coverage. The Elite 8 has been set. Now who will advance to the Final Four? We shall see. This week it’s a Gun Nut Duel To The Death as Florida takes on red hot Oregon to advance to the Final Four. But who will come out on top? Let’s find out!

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[font size="4"]Florida Vs Oregon[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]


The last time we checked in with Florida, they’re still dealing with the horrifying tragedy from Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland. But you know what? Florida isn’t doing jack shit about it, as you might have guessed and instead are taking their frustrations out on – wait for it – immigrants. But has Florida learned anything? Have they really? Well guess what? While we’re all (rightfully) paying attention to the aftermath of the Parkland tragedy still unfolding, House Republicans in the Sunshine State have something extremely horrifying being planned!

A bill (SB 1238) that would allow people to carry concealed weapons at churches operating on the same grounds as schools hit a roadblock Monday, as the Senate Criminal Justice Committee temporarily postponed its consideration and then adjourned for the rest of session.

“This is our last meeting,” chairman Sen. Keith Perry said, shortly after announcing without explanation that the bill would not be heard.

The NRA-backed measure still has life in the House, where a companion (HB 403) is slated to be heard Tuesday by the Education Committee. The House Criminal Justice Committee advanced the legislation along party lines in early March, with members saying the proposal — deemed too controversial to take up a year ago after the Parkland school shooting — would help make churches safer.
Advertisement

Although no reason was offered, some observers speculated the Senate measure was pulled because the five-member panel included Sen. Anitere Flores, the deputy Republican leader who famously has killed gun legislation in past years. Without her support, the two Democrats on the committee could have terminated the legislation outright.
https://www.tampabay.com/blogs/gradebook/2019/04/08/bill-to-allow-guns-at-churches-with-schools-stalls-in-the-florida-senate/




That they may, but I don’t think that they mention anything about packing heat and shooting first and asking questions later! Where’s our house pastor at? Oh he’s gone for the week? Damn it! At least this bill failed. But you know what didn’t? A bill that would give teachers – wait for it – guns! Yes, they are going to arm teachers. It’s bad enough bullets are flying in one direction!

A Florida House committee voted Thursday for a broad school safety bill that would expand an existing guardian program to allow classroom teachers to volunteer to carry weapons on campus if local school boards approve.

The Republican-led legislation adopted 11-5 along party lines by the House Education Committee builds on a law passed after last year's mass shooting that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland.

Teachers would not be required to carry guns, but those who volunteer would have to undergo 144 hours of firearms training, possess a valid concealed weapon permit and pass both a psychological evaluation and drug test.

Currently, teachers whose sole focus is classroom instruction are excluded from the program that as of January numbered about 726 armed volunteer guardians in 25 Florida counties, according to a committee staff analysis.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/florida/fl-ne-ap-house-panel-approves-guns-for-teachers-20190321-story.html




OK Homer might have a point here. And by the way guns are such a hot topic in Florida that this whole issue of arming teachers might have ruffled a few feathers. But that’s putting it lightly. People are pissed and rightfully so. That money should definitely be going elsewhere.

Everytown for Gun Safety, the bipartisan gun-control organization created and financed by former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, says it’s spending $200,000 to pressure Florida lawmakers not to allow classroom teachers to carry a gun at school.

On Sunday, an Everytown political committee bought full-page newspaper ads in opposition to Senate Bill 7030, a school safety bill that includes a proposal to tweak a controversial but limited provision in last year’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Public Safety Act to train and arm non-instructional school faculty.

Everytown is also buying digital ads and renting a rolling billboard “emphasizing the dangers of arming teachers” to circle the Florida Capitol until Thursday.

“We should let our teachers teach, instead of putting guns in their hands,” Gay Valimont, head of the Florida chapter of Everytown’s Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, said in a statement.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article228968679.html




[font size="4"]Oregon[/font]


You might be thinking “Hey! Oregon is a blue state! What the hell???”. And you might be right. But they do have the city of Portland which is home to two classes of individuals – hipsters and white supremacist right wing militia types! And these two groups do not get along, in case you were wondering. In fact Portland is the home of a group that you might have heard of, that is always looking to stir shit up. They’re called “Patriot Prayer”, and they’re the uber-religious counterparts to Gavin McInnes’ Proud Boys. Yes, we try to keep track of all of the hate groups because, Trump. So why does the city of Portland tend to attract these types?

Neo-Nazi organizers viewed a 2017 Portland rally by the right-wing group Patriot Prayer as fertile recruitment grounds to grow their white nationalist movement, according to private messages leaked to an alternative media nonprofit.

The online chats, published in batches between August 2017 and March 2019 by Unicorn Riot, show that self-described neo-Nazi groups regarded Vancouver, Wash.-based Patriot Prayer as an "alt-light" group—that is, not extremist enough to be taken seriously, but attractive to people who could be further radicalized.

“Thinking about heading down to the ‘alt light’ event in Portland this coming weekend to do some recruitment work for [the Traditionalist Worker Party], show up wearing the shirt & handing out TWP literature/door hangers & talking NS to any receptive white men/women,” wrote a user who introduced himself as Matt, and used the screen name “My Name is Hate.”

The Traditionalist Worker Party is a neo-Nazi hate group that espouses anti-Semitic and white nationalist views.
https://www.wweek.com/news/2019/03/11/neo-nazis-saw-patriot-prayer-rallies-as-fertile-recruitment-grounds-and-targeted-local-newspapers-to-gain-publicity/


.

Now here’s the thing – we’re not saying all gun nuts are white supremacists. But all white supremacists are gun nuts! Now you might be thinking – what does the shooting in Christchurch shooting have to do with Oregon white supremacists? Well a whole hell of a lot, actually!

America has a central role in the Christchurch shooter’s manifesto. He claims he used guns to stir up America’s debate over gun rights versus safety in hopes of dividing the country over racial and cultural lines, writing, “This balkanization of the US will not only result in the racial separation of the people within the United States ensuring the future of the White race on the North American continent, but also ensuring the death of the ‘melting pot’ pipe dream.” (He also expresses some anger about the United States’ involvement in the 1990s war in Yugoslavia.)

In general white nationalist rhetoric, Europe is “lost” in racial terms because of nonwhite immigration and low birthrates among white Europeans across the continent. But America — alongside New Zealand and Australia, to some within the movement — is viewed as perhaps the last hope for white nationalists to create an idealized “white homeland.”

Over the last 50 years, those ideas have been further developed with a surprising degree of specificity. David Lane, whom I mentioned earlier, was in favor of the so-called Northwest Imperative, the white nationalist idea of creating an “Aryan homeland” in the Pacific Northwest. The man who stabbed two people to death on a train in Oregon in May 2017 was reportedly an adherent of this idea, posting on Facebook before the attack that America should be “balkanize(d)” — the same word used by the Christchurch shooter.
https://www.vox.com/identities/2019/3/15/18267163/new-zealand-shooting-christchurch-white-nationalism-racism-language




So, Oregon has a massive white supremacy problem. What are they going to do about it? Well, remember that Patriot Prayer rally from last year? It turns out that Oregon’s police might have been in on it. In fact, they may have been protecting the fascists from the protestors! It’s going to take a hell of a lot to sort this mess out.

After public backlash, the mayor of Portland, Oregon, is no longer asking the city's police chief to lead an investigation into friendly text messages between a lieutenant and the leader of a far-right group that some officials say confirm "collusion" — a criticism later mocked by the group's leader.

Officials and activists also voiced concern about the texts and demanded that Mayor Ted Wheeler order an independent investigation — and not one headed by Portland Police Chief Danielle Outlaw as he first suggested. The mayor relented late Friday and said he will be working on how the new inquiry will take shape.

"I will order an independent investigation to review the existence of bias in the actions of the [Portland Police Bureau] leading up to and during demonstrations involving alt-right and anti-fascist protesters," he said in a statement, adding that he has "heard from the people of Portland" and will also work with Outlaw to implement training for police in identifying white supremacy.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/disturbing-texts-between-oregon-police-far-right-group-prompts-investigation-n972161




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Oh my god… Florida has utterly routed Oregon by a score of 25! I don’t know what they are giving Florida Man but if they keep it up they will be repeating as our Stupidest State this year! Sorry Oregon, you may be the king of the West Coast racists, but Florida owns this dance! They advance to the Final Four easily.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week, we are taking a much needed break. And that was omitted on the original schedule, for which the people responsible have been sacked. But when we come back on 4/24, we are going to continue Round 2 coverage with the Family Values Conference Championship. And what is more fitting than that for a Bible Belt showdown between Mississippi and Alabama? We’ll be live at the home of the Sacramento Kings, the fabulous Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, for all the action! Stay tuned!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Simple Creatures[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a brand new band and the coming together of the bands Blink 182 and All Time Low! Their debut EP called “Strange Love” is out now! Playing their song “Drug” from that EP, give it up for Simple Creatures!




Thank You New York City! We are taking a short break next week and we will be running a Best Of, we’ll be back on 4/24 with a brand new edition live from Denver with the Wheel Of Corruption and Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! See you in two weeks!

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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 10, 2019, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-13: Donald Trump Live In Grand Rapids Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-13: Donald Trump Live In Grand Rapids Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to sign up for the new Top 10 newsletter to get Idiots delivered straight to your inbox! We are back everybody! What’s up DC? Are you guys doing good? It’s always great to be back here in the Capital! Nobody parties quite like DC does and you guys have lots of awesome drunk food. I mean who wouldn’t want a Ben’s Chili Dog? I know I could go for one right about now! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do, it’s my fucking show! So Nicholas Cage is a weird dude. Really, sir? You could have guessed that? So you know that he literally flew to Vegas to get married and then divorced. But that’s not the craziest thing that he’s done. There’s a new article in the Sun that details all kinds of strange things that man is up to. Like did you know that he eats animals according to their mating habits? Or that he’s already made arrangements to be buried under a huge pyramid in New Orleans when he dies? Or that his bride to be was going to be the recipient of all of his money? Yes, all. Well maybe it might have to do with the fact that he and his wife ate mushrooms, but he ate mushrooms like they were M&Ms. Yes, those kinds of mushrooms. Oh and it gets weirder, because of course it would! He also once had otters as witness for his first wedding and owned a house in New Orleans that he claimed was the “most haunted ever”. Whew. Nicholas Cage, keep doing what you are doing. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the mad house that is the WWE:



Where do we begin this week? Well the number one slot this week is the guy who we currently still call president and that’s Donald Trump (1). So will he or won’t he close the border in Mexico? And what kind of effect will it have on the economy? Well, he seems bound and determined to do this, and it’s going to cost a lot, but doesn’t matter because, Fox News points. In the second slot, is also Donald J. Trump (2) and he went to Michigan last week, and his rally, whew, there was a lot to unpack and it’s all insane. For the third slot this week, we have to talk about Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti (3) and his unbelievably bizarre scandal involving other celebrity lawyers and the Nike shoe company. In the fourth slot this week, we’re going to do something a bit different. Have people just flat out had an ass full of the news (4)? We’ll talk about developing trends in the TV world as more and more people are chucking their network news for good. For the 5th slot this week is Gun Nut Conspiracy Theorists (5). And yeah they got a lot of explaining to do, especially after the NRA got caught conspiracy theory shopping, but it is fun to see Alex Jones on the decline! Yes, it’s evil and shocking. In the number 6 slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and the Jim Jefferies Show exposed the rising tide of hate in the Land Down Under so we will find out what that’s like. At number 7 is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week our resident pastor is going to take a look at a couple of university scandals including Notre Dame dress code violations and Liberty University’s contracts with the Pentagon. Yes, they’re real. Taking the number 8 slot this week, we’ve got a brand new “Beating A Dead Horse”, so conservatives are upset that their favorite fast food isn’t getting invited to the table at the airport food court! I mean come on, it’s the fucking airport food court! Really, people. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this week, we’re going to talk about one of the stupider debates to hit the internet lately. I mean really, St. Louis, what are you smoking when it comes to bagels? We are going to get schvitzed and talk about the right way to slice your bagels and eat them. And finally this week, it’s the end of Round 1 of our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019! It’s Round 1 Week 4 (10) and this week we’re live in Eugene, Oregon and it’s a battle of the Batshit as Georgia takes on Texas to play Kentucky in the Batshit Conference Championship, while Alabama thumps the Bible against Oklahoma for the Family Values Crown! Plus we have some live music from AFI! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before! The president of the United States goes to the border and well, makes a total ass of himself! There’s really no punchline there, because this administration has done some extremely horrible things to immigrants, and this week could prove to be one of the most evil things they have done yet. It’s no mistake that Trump’s favorite news network of choice, Fox News, has raised hysteria about immigrants way past 11. And Trump of course, only cares about his approval rating among Fox News fans. So you put two and two together. What’s he got planned? Well…

President Donald Trump is thrusting his hard-line posture on immigration back to the fore this week, with plans for a Friday trip to the southern border and possible new executive actions to restrict border crossings.

But days after Trump renewed his long-standing threat to shut down the southern border entirely, even administration officials and congressional Republicans were bewildered and guessing at his next move on a defining issue of his presidency.

And some Hill Republicans warned that any dramatic disruption to regular traffic across the U.S.-Mexico border could bring Trump into a new confrontation with his own party, whose leaders warn that closing parts or all of the border would wreak economic havoc.

On Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced plans to require that greater numbers of non-Mexican asylum-seekers stay in Mexico while they wait for their cases to be resolved and to speed up the reassignment of 750 customs officers to process arriving migrants.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration is considering closing some of the lanes at ports of entry or preventing certain types of vehicles or people from crossing the border as he tries to force Mexico to increase its enforcement, three outside advisers told POLITICO.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/04/01/trump-border-republicans-1246922




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! And in case you’re wondering what kind of effect this is going to have on the economy well, it’s going to be extremely horrible. In fact everyone is against it except for of course Trump and people who watch Fox News. But then again if you try to promote these things called “facts”, keep in mind that this is the Trump administration, facts don’t matter anymore!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Tuesday questioned who is “poisoning” President Donald Trump’s mind when it comes to immigration policy, calling his recent threat to shut down the U.S.-Mexico border and his move to cut off aid to Northern Triangle countries in Central America “one of his worst ideas."

“Stiff competition, mind you, this is one of his worst ideas,” Pelosi (D-Calif.) said of Trump’s decision to end the assistance funding to Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. “It could cover so much territory that it’s hard to say worst. This is not a good idea.”

Pelosi, speaking at a POLITICO Playbook interview, argued that cutting off the funding, which is aimed at creating stability in the so-called Northern Triangle nations, was counter-productive to stemming the surge of asylum-seeking migrants from those countries showing up at the U.S.-Mexico border.

She also pushed back on the White House’s insistence that shutting down the border would force Mexico to compromise on border operations, wondering aloud where the president was getting his ideas from and saying she didn’t think “advising” was the appropriate term to use.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/04/02/pelosi-immigration-border-trump-1247896




That is a good question! How can Trump be so evil? Because he doesn’t give a shit about how evil he really is, that’s why! This by the way, could be the most alarming detail about the forthcoming border shutdown that might alarm some people, especially if you love avocados like I do. But the GOP will probably find some way to trash avocados because, liberal tears.

A shutdown of the U.S.-Mexico border could trigger an avocado crisis, according to the world's largest grower of the green fruit.

Steve Barnard, the CEO of Mission Produce, told Reuters that if the border is shut down, the U.S. would run out of avocados in about three weeks.

He said Mexico supplies nearly all of our avocados this time of year.

Forbes points out that you may still be able find the green fruit in stores. We also get avocados from Florida and Peru, and the California crop is just starting to show up in stores and will pick up over the summer.

Last Friday, President Donald Trump declared he is likely to shut down America's southern border unless Mexican authorities immediately halt "illegal immigration."
https://abc7.com/politics/if-mexico-border-shuts-down-us-may-run-out-of-avocados/5229562/




Well that’s obvious! And come on, what did avocados ever do to you, Trump? They’re delicious and you can use them in an infinite number of ways from guacamole to avocado toast. I mean even Pearl Jam had an avocado as the cover of their 2006 album “Pearl Jam”! Maybe because Eddie Vedder really loves avocados? But there’s another casualty of the border shutdown that could have even further lasting effects of the economy. Where’s Knight Rider when you need him?

Frustrated by the large number of Central Americans who've been crossing the border from Mexico, President Trump has threatened to take dramatic action.

"If they don't stop 'em, we're closing the border," Trump warned Friday. "They'll close it. And we'll keep it closed for a long time."

This is not the first time Trump has sounded that warning. And so far he has not followed through.

Halting cross-border traffic with one of the nation's biggest trading partners could do serious damage to the U.S. economy, including industries located far from Mexico.

Retailers in San Diego got a small taste of that last November, when members of a migrant caravan charged the border and U.S. officials closed one border crossing in response. While that shutdown lasted only a few hours, it came on what should have been one of the busiest shopping days of the year. And the fallout was severe, costing local merchants an estimated $5.3 million in lost sales.
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/02/708999622/southern-border-closure-would-have-consequences-for-u-s-economy





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Whew, the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump has had quite the week and it seems it’s only going to get worse from here. He went on a self-congratulatory tour in Grand Rapids last week and it was the stuff of insanity. You know what? Let’s play the clip!

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1111419775601635330

You can hear this and so much more on his new stand up album "Donald Trump Live From Grand Rapids!". Now available from Amazon and iTunes for the low price of $9.99! Order now and Mexico will pay for it! Thank you audience! So, to quote The Big Lebowski, what in god’s holy name is he blathering about this week?

U.S. President Donald Trump mocked renewable energy at yesterday's campaign rally in Michigan.

Implicating Hillary Clinton as part of Big Wind, Trump said, "If Hillary got in...you'd be doing wind. Windmills. Wheeeee. And if it doesn't blow, you can forget about television for that night. 'Darling, I want to watch television.' 'I'm sorry! The wind isn't blowing.'"

"I know a lot about wind," said the president. (Transcript here.)

Last month, Trump took time out of his oratory at the conservative CPAC event to work the same trope.

After suggesting that the proposed Green New Deal from the Democrats would result in “no planes” and “no energy,” the president said: “When the wind stops blowing, that’s the end of your electric.”
https://www.greentechmedia.com/articles/read/fact-checking-president-trumps-assessment-of-wind-and-electric-vehicles




Well, maybe he knows a lot about wind because he’s full of hot air? Thank you! I mean just when you think it couldn’t be any crazier. Trump lies like it’s a bodily function. They’re actually like fine wines - his lies have their own body and flavor, and they really age to accentuate the fine character of each one. And by the way in case you’re wondering if he knows a lot about wind, the short answer is easy – no, he doesn’t.

President Donald Trump has repeatedly mocked wind energy this week for reasons that are dismissed by "frequently asked questions" guidance published by the Department of Energy.

On Wednesday Trump told Fox News' Sean Hannity that wind energy was unreliable because the wind "only blows sometimes." He repeated a similar criticism at a Thursday night rally in Michigan, suggesting that users would experience power outages when the wind doesn't blow.

"If it doesn't blow, you can forget about television for that night," Trump said in Michigan, adding, "I know a lot about wind."

However, the Department of Energy's Office of Energy Efficiency & Renewable Energy says that the power grid is capable of handling the variation that comes with wind energy.

In response to the frequently asked question, "What happens to the electricity supply when the wind isn't blowing?" the agency cites studies that say the power grid can handle a large amount of "variable renewable power without sacrificing reliability."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/28/trump-criticism-wind-power-dismissed-department-energy-faq/3307863002/




Actually, he is wrong about that one! Very wrong. The wrongest! No one is more wrong than he is, folks, and it’s going to be huge, believe me! And if you thought that was crazy, wait until you see what else he said about the Great Lakes. They have record deepness! You really can’t make this stuff up. I mean if Trump claims he’s smarter than us, would he use phrases like “record deepness”? Well, he is in a record deepness of depravity right now.

President Trump said the Great Lakes have “record deepness” during an unusual moment in his boisterous rally Thursday night in Grand Rapids, Mich.

Trump often likes to use hyperbole to describe the places he visits, and in this case it led him to make a statement in the Great Lakes State that left some people scratching their heads.

"I support the Great Lakes. Always have," Trump said during his speech. "They're beautiful. They're big. Very deep. Record deepness.”

While the Great Lakes are big and many would describe them as beautiful, they are not among the deepest lakes in the United States, let alone the world.

The deepest lake in the country is Crater Lake, a volcanic crater in southern Oregon with the deepest measured depth of 1,949 feet, according to Geology.com.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/436429-trump-says-great-lakes-have-record-deepness




Really, he’s getting crazier and crazier. He knows a lot about wind? The Great Lakes have record deepness? And he thinks he’s smarter than us? I mean only President Stable Genius himself could go there and then he still is about as crazy as you would expect. And it’s only April. Can November 2020 please get here soon? Please???

Thanks to his rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan last week, we can confidently say that President Donald Trump is aware the Great Lakes exist.

We can’t say much more than that.

“I support the Great Lakes,” he told the assembled crowd. “Always have.” He glanced off to the side, pausing. “They’re beautiful,” he continued. Pause. “They’re big. Very deep. Record deepness, right?”

As a matter of fact, the deepest lake in the world is Lake Baikal in Russia, as Vox pointed out, and the deepest lakes in the United States are Crater Lake in Oregon and Lake Tahoe in California.

But that’s not even the most egregious falsehood from Trump. The reason he was talking about them was because he had some “breaking news” he didn’t think the crowd could “handle.”

“I am going to get, in honor of my friends, full funding of $300 million for the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, which you have been trying to get for over 30 years,” he said. “So, we will get it done.”
http://www.citypages.com/news/why-is-donald-trump-making-up-stuff-about-the-great-lakes/507844441





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[font size="8"]Michael Avenatti
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You know it’s a fucked up week when Stormy Daniels’ lawyer himself, Michael Avenatti, gets indicted for a massive fraud scandal involving other celebrity attorneys and it’s not the craziest thing that has happened in a week. I mean we only get 10 of these a week to talk about this shit. 10!!! Which means that we have to pick and choose what we get to talk about here, but this might be one of the most insane scandals yet. This week. And trying to figure out this mess is well, what one would call a “clusterfuck”. So what kind of mess did Avenatti get himself into?

Federal prosecutors in Manhattan and Los Angeles charged attorney Michael Avenatti nearly simultaneously in two criminal cases Monday, unsealing complaints that alleged he attempted to extort more than $20 million from Nike and that he committed wire and bank fraud.
Avenatti was arrested Monday afternoon in Manhattan, law enforcement officials tell CNN. He was released on a $300,000 bond Monday night and said outside federal court that he is "highly confident" that he will be "fully exonerated."

The criminal complaint unsealed in the New York case describes a rapid investigation that unfolded over the course of just the past six days, beginning March 19, and portrays Avenatti as the brash persona likely familiar to the public from his former representation of adult-film actress Stormy Daniels.

According to the complaint, Avenatti met March 19 with attorneys for Nike and threatened to release what he said were allegations of misconduct by employees on the eve of both its quarterly earnings call and the start of the NCAA tournament.

Avenatti would disclose the allegations at a press conference, he said, according to the complaint, unless Nike made millions in payments to him and an unnamed co-conspirator by hiring them to conduct an "internal investigation," for which he later requested between $15 million and $20 million. Avenatti also allegedly demanded that Nike pay $1.5 million to an individual he claimed to represent.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/25/politics/michael-avenatti/index.html




Yeah so trying to figure out this whole mess is kind of like that. And what do R. Kelly and Jussie Smollet have to do with this? Well, it seems that Avenatti may not be the only celebrity attorney who is involved in this extortion clusterfuck. And I mean nothing good happens when R. Kelly and Jussie Smollet are involved, are they?

R. Kelly’s lawyer has demanded law enforcement officials preserve all communications between Cook County prosecutors and embattled celebrity attorney Michael Avenatti.

Citing concern over Avenatti’s recent indictment for allegedly attempting to extort millions from Nike and referencing State’s Attorney Kim Foxx’s handling of charges against “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett, defense attorney Steve Greenberg, filed a motion that requires prosecutors, police and the state’s witnesses to save their communications with Avenatti.

Talking to reporters after a brief hearing on Monday, Greenberg said the prosecutors’ case against Kelly appear to lean heavily on accusations leveled by Avenatti and the women he is representing. Avenatti’s extortion case has shown “how he operates,” Greenberg said.

“We’ve already seen that State’s Attorney Foxx has conversations with people about pending cases, pending investigations,” Greenberg said after the brief hearing Monday. “I want to know what conversations she had with Avenatti about this case, and these facts, and what occurred.”
https://chicago.suntimes.com/entertainment/r-kelly-michael-avenatti-steve-greenberg-communication-motion/




So yeah stop trying to figure this thing out because it’s damn near impossible. And by the way you might be asking “Wait, what is becoming of Avenatti’s presidential ambitions?” Well, I answer you good sir / madam, he could quite possibly be going away for a very long time, so do we have to bring back the Trumper Games for this one? No? Well, OK we’ll save that for when departures affect us that we actually care about.

Michael Avenatti made his first West Coast court appearance Monday as a criminal defendant -- not as an attorney for Stormy Daniel in her case against President Donald Trump.

Avenatti requested to waive his right to a preliminary hearing as he faces charges that include having embezzled more than $1 million from a client. U.S. Magistrate Judge John Early set April 29 for Avenatti's post-indictment arraignment.

Outside the Orange County, California, courthouse, in meeting briefly with reporters and a battery of television cameras, Avenatti vowed to fight the charges.

"For nearly 20 years, I have represented Davids vs. Goliaths as an attorney," he said.

Now, he said, he will be winding through the justice system himself and "I am highly confident that when the process plays out, justice will be done."

Though he spoke only for about a minute, a heckler tried to shout him down with taunts, including one accusing him of being a "porn attorney."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/04/01/michael-avenatti-faces-decades-prison-california-new-york/3316279002/




Oh come on! That’s the best insult ya got? Michael Avenatti is a “porn attorney”? I mean in the porn industry I’m sure there’s way worse nicknames you could come up with! And by the way, do we really need Coach K from Duke weighing in on this scandal? Really? That’s who you go to for your opinion on a $20 million extortion scandal? Not a financial or economic expert, but Coach K? Really?

Lawyer Michael Avenatti caused a stir this week when he claimed he was going to hold a press conference exposing a major scandal involving Nike and high-level college basketball programs. Avenatti was later arrested and released on bail for allegedly trying to extort Nike.

Avenatti would go on to tweet allegations against UNLV, Arizona and Oregon. He accused Nike of making illegal payments to lure top recruits to those programs.

He would also cryptically mention Duke in one of his tweets. There were no specific allegations against the Blue Devils but it got people’s attention.

“And Duke…” was the entire text of the tweet.

That isn’t much, but it was enough for someone to ask Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski about Avenatti and Nike during his media availability at the Sweet 16 today. He denied there was anything in the scandal involving his program.
https://thespun.com/acc/duke-blue-devils/coach-k-was-asked-about-the-michael-avenatti-nike-scandal





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[font size="8"]Enough Of The News
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It’s no secret that our TV obsessed president loves him some ratings. In fact that’s just about all he talks about. Yes, Donald Trump has mentioned TV ratings far more than any other president before him. Why is that? Because nobody else gave a shit! He does! With that in mind we’re going to devote this next segment to talking about Trump’s favorite subject – ratings. So he thinks CNN and Rachel Maddow have taken a nose dive since the Muller Report came out? Well let’s see what the latest developments are in the world of TV ratings!

President Donald Trump TV habits shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone anymore, but there’s a new report out with some behind-the-scenes details of just how much POTUS pays attention to what happens on cable news.

The Washington Post report this morning details Trump’s “elated” reaction to that December Oval Office meeting when he told then-House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer he would take credit for a government shutdown. Most people were shocked, but the president loved that it rated well and spoke to then-Speaker Paul Ryan about it:

“This is why I was so great on the Apprentice,” he told a startled Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) during a phone call the next morning, crowing that the ratings of the meeting were “great.”

Ryan said he did not know such government meetings scored ratings — or that they were released within 12 hours, according to aides familiar with the call who requested anonymity to describe the private conversation. Trump told Ryan that everyone watched and that Trump was dominating the TV — and that made the meeting a success.

And if you’re wondering how cognizant lawmakers are of the fact that Trump will notice them if they go on cable news, per the Post, the president told senators at the Senate Republican lunch this week “that he appreciated them defending him on TV,” giving Senator John Kennedy a shoutout in particular.
https://www.mediaite.com/online/trump-reportedly-touted-ratings-of-pre-shutdown-meeting-to-paul-ryan-this-is-why-i-was-so-great-on-the-apprentice/




Yeah well he does guarantee a lot of things. But he says one thing because he thinks it’s true but in reality it’s almost the exact opposite. Maybe Rachel Maddow’s ratings are on the decline because people have had just a fucking ass full of the news? Well, people in general have had an ass full of TV and are doing, well, just about anything but sitting in front of the tube these days. So Rachel Maddow’s ratings decline is just part of a slow, steep process.

The sky is falling for network TV. Then again, the sky has been falling for decades — and yet, the broadcast networks are still here, despite all the gloom-and-doom prognosticators. But the first night of the new fall TV season was met mostly by a yawn from viewers, and will feed another cycle of the-networks-are-dying narratives.

Of course, there’s some truth to that. Just five years ago, NBC led the first night of premiere week (Sept. 23, 2013) with a 4.6 rating among adults 18-49, while ABC was in fourth with a 2.3 rating. This year, NBC led all networks on Monday night — with a 2.1, while fourth-place ABC landed with just a 1.2.

But on the positive front, the four major networks’ total viewer averages combined to 32.3 million on Monday night, up from 31.2 million on the first night of premiere week a year ago. And NBC launched new drama “Manifest” to a solid — hell, for 2018, a tremendous — 2.2 rating and 10.4 million viewers, making it the network’s most-watched drama series premiere in three years. And as has been pointed out, the night’s lowest-rated program, CBS’ “Bull,” still rated higher in the adults 18-49 demo than anything on cable that night (save, of course, ESPN’s Monday Night Football, which trumped all).
https://www.indiewire.com/2018/09/fall-tv-2018-ratings-broadcast-tv-manifest-magnum-1202007154/




Except it’s way past October 31st there, Trump. So ratings for everything are down because well, the TV climate and the way that we consume content is changing. Even we here at the Top 10 are feeling the ratings hit! I mean at this point the presidency has turned into a “my TV ratings are better than your TV ratings” kind of shit fight that you’d expect. Although really, who cares? Time to turn the TV off and go outside for a change.

Rachel Maddow isn’t backing away from her coverage of President Donald Trump and any connection to Russia’s involvement in trying to influence the 2016 presidential campaign. The question is how much her fans want to listen.

Maddow’s audience has dipped on her two days back on the air since Attorney General William Barr reported that special counsel Robert Mueller had found no collusion between Trump and Russia’s efforts. Her audience of 2.5 million on Monday was 19 percent below her average this year, and it went down further to 2.3 million on Tuesday, the Nielsen company said.

Meanwhile, her head-to-head competitor on Fox News Channel, Sean Hannity, saw his audience soar on Monday to 4 million viewers, a 32 percent increase from his average. It slipped to 3.57 million on Tuesday. One of Trump’s most prominent media fans, Hannity was to interview the president on Wednesday’s show.

Hannity and Maddow have run neck-and-neck atop the cable news ratings this year, with Maddow having the slight edge.

Fox’s Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham also saw their audiences top their averages both days, while other prime-time hosts on MSNBC and CNN saw their audiences plunge.
https://www.apnews.com/6a418de605ab4fb5a8cddf958ac190f0




Well there is one thing that Trump hadn’t counted on – prior to the release of the Mueller Report, which we all know they didn’t read, MSNBC had one of the highest ratings of any quarter in the last 15 years, so suck it!!! Oh, that might have caused Trump to go on his latest temper tantrum regarding the ratings for his beloved Fox.

There's a certain risk in releasing ratings news releases on April Fool's Day. But for MSNBC, the chance to reverse a week of stories about slumping viewership—and a presidential tweet joking about the network's ratings compared with Fox News—was reason enough to start April with a bold new headline, one the network provided to reporters Monday in a news release with a breathless, all-caps headline: "MSNBC’S 'THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW' IS THE #1 CABLE NEWS PROGRAM IN A25-54 FOR THE QUARTER, DELIVERS THE SHOW’S HIGHEST-RATED QUARTER EVER IN TOTAL AUDIENCE."

But the full details on which that headline is based appear at the bottom of the release: "NOTE: 1Q19 ratings are based on Nielsen Live+Same data day for December 31, 2018 – March 28, 2019. Individual show data represents regular programming only, excluding specials and breaking news."

That means MSNBC didn't stick around for the last three nights of March to declare that The Rachel Maddow Show had made history, posting its highest quarterly ratings since the show's debut and averaging 3.07 million total viewers. Why not wait until Tuesday, when we can compare MSNBC's ratings apples-to-apples against the competition at Fox News and CNN? Well, perhaps because a best-ever rating among total viewers might sound somewhat less ALL-CAPS dramatic if you have to add the detail "while finishing in second place behind Fox News Channel's Sean Hannity."
https://www.forbes.com/sites/markjoyella/2019/04/01/msnbc-jumps-gun-to-claim-1q-ratings-win-for-rachel-maddow/#31bdfad4ce0b





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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Conspiracy Theorists
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You ever stop and think that the people who are peddling conspiracy theories may actually be involved in a real life conspiracy? Well that’s the conundrum that the NRA and Alex Jones got themselves into this week when it was revealed that the NRA… got caught shopping for conspiracy theorists this weekend, and it was also very amusing to see Alex Jones go down with the ship. You know what? Let’s roll that clip of Alex Jones at a fried chicken joint because it’s spectacular:



Wow, I didn’t know it was open mic night at Lucy’s Chicken! But anyway, the NRA is shockingly evil as is evidenced by what they did in New Zealand. See, the United States isn’t the only country having to put up with people who claim that everyone is out to take their guns away!

An NRA employee corresponded with a prominent Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist the day after the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, speculating that the gunman had not acted alone.

“Just like [Sandy Hook], there is so much more to this story,” the NRA employee, Mark Richardson, told the conspiracy theorist, according to emails obtained by HuffPost. “He was not alone.”

“Thank you for all the information. And for what you do. STAY SAFE.”

Since the 2012 Sandy Hook elementary school shooting, conspiracy theorists who claim grieving family members of shooting victims are “crisis actors”, and that mass shootings are staged to advance gun control, have continued to harass victims’ families. This confrontation is sometimes very direct: a Florida woman was sentenced to five months in prison for sending threatening messages for one Sandy Hook father that death was coming for him “real soon”. New theories targeting family members of the most recent victims emerge immediately after each high-profile shooting, and generate online and in-person harassment.

The emails from Richardson, who was using his official NRA email address, emerged as part of a defamation lawsuit by Sandy Hook parents against the Infowars host Alex Jones, who used his show to air Sandy Hook conspiracy theories. Wolfgang Halbig, the conspiracy theorist Richardson emailed, has contributed to Infowars.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/mar/28/nra-sandy-hook-conspiracy-theorist-parkland-shooting




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So the NRA is stunningly evil here, and if you think that’s all, the NRA is in over their heads this week after it was found out that they oppose the violence against women act. Oh wait, that’s nearly 95% of the NRA’s clientele there, that’s who they cater to! So, if we extrapolate, the NRA supports violence against women.

“The No. 1 way that women are being killed with guns is by their beloveds, their boyfriends, their significant others,” freshman Rep. Lucy McBath (D-Ga.) said as she argued in favor of stricter gun laws. Her son, Jordan Davis, was murdered in 2012 by a man at a Jacksonville, Fla., gas station who was upset over the music being played in the car Davis was in with friends. She is no stranger to gun violence.

“I am not paying attention to the rhetoric of the N.R.A. because I can’t be distracted. What’s most important is putting forth good legislation to save as many lives as we can,” McBath said in a quote reported by the New York Times.

As the Times reports, the NRA is up in arms (pun intended) over a new provision in the 1994 Violence Against Women Act that is up for reauthorization in Congress after expiring in February.

The way the law is currently written, anyone who is convicted of domestic abuse can have their guns taken away from them if they are currently or were previously married to their victim, live in the same house as their victim, are the parent or guardian of their victim, or have a child with their victim.
https://www.theroot.com/why-the-nra-is-against-the-violence-against-women-act-r-1833745744




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! By the way, remember our good buddy Alex Jones from a while back? Let’s check in on him for a minute. So what’s his excuse for being the conspiracy theory whack-a-doodle that he is known to be? Well, his excuse is…. SURVEY SAYS… psychosis. Yes, he is going there and blaming his psychosis for him being an insufferable douche.

Broadcaster and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones said it was a "form of psychosis" that caused him to believe certain events --- like the Sandy Hook massacre -- were staged.
On December 14, 2012, 20 children and six adults were killed by 20-year-old Adam Lanza in Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

Jones, who founded InfoWars.com and hosted a three-hour news-talk radio program which he said was carried on more than 160 stations, had repeatedly suggested in the past that the Sandy Hook shooting was a "giant hoax" carried out by crisis actors on behalf of people who oppose the Second Amendment.
InfoWars has also suggested the September 11 attacks were an inside job orchestrated by the US government.

This week, Jones acknowledged the shooting was real during a sworn deposition he made as part of a defamation case brought against him by Sandy Hook victims' families.

"And I, myself, have almost had like a form of psychosis back in the past where I basically thought everything was staged, even though I've now learned a lot of times things aren't staged," he said. "So I think as a pundit, someone giving an opinion, that, you know, my opinions have been wrong, but they were never wrong consciously to hurt people."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/30/us/alex-jones-psychosis-sandy-hook/index.html




You know if only some of these guys would try, I don’t know, smiling and maybe enjoying life for a minute or two they wouldn’t be so unbearable! And you know we’re not going to talk about all the mass shooting related suicides here, because that’s too horrifying and depressing to make fun of, and that would be beneath us. So we’ll instead trash Alex Jones and his desperate plea to be a victim here, because that’s the least we can do. Oh, and fuck Alex Jones.

Alex Jones, who claimed the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was staged, may now be blaming his opinion on “a form of psychosis” he had in the past “where I basically thought everything was staged ... even though I’m learning a lot of things aren’t staged.”

According to published reports, those claims were made earlier this month when Jones was grilled during an Austin, Texas, deposition taken in connection with one of the lawsuits brought by parents of some of the 20 children killed in the 2012 shooting.

Gunman Adam Lanza, who also killed his mother and six educators during the mass shooting, killed himself as police approached the school.

Jones spent more than three hours answering questions posed by lawyers in a suit claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress brought on behalf of Jessie Lewis, one of the slain children, by his mother, Scarlett Lewis.
https://www.nhregister.com/local/article/Alex-Jones-claims-psychosis-fueled-his-Sandy-Hook-13727746.php


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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Hate Down Under
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



The entire world right now is dealing with a problem that should have been dealt with at the end of World War II. The rising tide of hatred and white nationalism has reared its’ ugly head again. As previously seen in such countries as Brazil, the UK, Hungary, Italy, Poland, Turkey, the Philippines and the United States. Now the latest country to be targeted by Vladimir Putin’s Internet Research Agency, or IRA, is Australia. The country and its’ rise of hate and white nationalism came under fire after the Christchurch shooting claimed the lives of 50 people. So the Land Down Under has a huge racist problem that it is dealing with. How are they handling it?

Australians proudly point to their nation as being one of the most ethnically and culturally diverse on the planet. But the New Zealand shootings are placing a new focus on Australia's far-right politics and its mingling with its white nationalist movement.

The March 15 massacre in Christchurch, which claimed the lives of 50 people, quickly led to dramatic changes in New Zealand's firearms laws as the government announced it will ban military-style semi-automatic and assault rifles.

The worst mass shooting in New Zealand's modern history is resonating here in neighboring Australia. The chief suspect in the shootings is Australian, leading many people who knew the man to struggle with the knowledge of growing up with, having taught or having worked alongside a person that allegedly could have committed such a crime.

In Canberra, the government is proposing a law that will allow fines and prison time to be handed out to social media executives if their companies fail to quickly remove violent content from their platforms. The man charged with the shootings is a suspected white supremacist who livestreamed the shootings on Facebook.

Some observers say the country's far-right politics has not faced the level of scrutiny that some minority groups receive.

"Far-right groups in Australia have been able to operate under the radar more than any Muslim group could have done," says human rights attorney Greg Barns, who recently published a book on the rise of white nationalism in Australia titled "The Rise of the Right." He blames the Liberal Party-led coalition government because, he says, it allowed anti-Muslim sentiment to flourish in the country but did nothing to stamp it out.
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/articles/2019-04-01/new-zealand-shootings-place-new-attention-on-australias-far-right




Yes, yes it was racist. But it seems there’s nowhere on earth right now that is immune from the rising tide of hate and white nationalism that is engulfing the planet. It’s Hitler’s vision on a global scale, and even New Zealand – a place that until recently was considered politically neutral, has fallen victim to Putin’s IRA.

No place is immune from the rise of hate and extremism. Not even New Zealand, until now a relative haven from the world’s political monstrosities.

The deadly terrorist attack on two mosques on 15 March in Christchurch (in which 50 people died and dozens were injured) appalled the world. New Zealand is not renowned for either far-right activity or mass shootings.

The attack’s Australian dimension has also prompted questions over that country’s readiness to combat far-right terrorism. The Christchurch gunman, 28-year-old Australian Brenton Tarrant, appeared to be unknown to the authorities. Should he have been on terror watch lists? And what does his radicalisation and murderous spree against Muslims as they prayed tell us about his home country?

In recent years, far-right movements have enjoyed success in Australia. Political debates have reflected the creeping normalisation of racist hate and bigotry. In view of the relationship between hate speech and political violence, a white supremacist terrorist attack with some Australian connection seemed grimly inevitable.
https://www.newstatesman.com/world/australasia/2019/03/how-australia-incubated-far-right-terror




Even Hitler isn’t pleased with this one. And you know when Hitler isn’t pleased, he isn’t pleased. What is to stop this rising tide of hate? Well if you’re in Australia and you only have eggs at your disposal, you use them, which is what one young Australian used when he confronted Senator Anning. If you start spouting white nationalist talking points in public, you’re going to get an egg in the face. It’s human nature.

A far-right Australian lawmaker who blamed the slaughter at two Christchurch mosques on immigration policies that "allowed Muslim fanatics to migrate to New Zealand in the first place" literally had egg on his face Saturday.

Sen. Fraser Anning, no stranger to controversy, was left with raw egg dripping down his back and the front of his shirt after a teenager raised his phone with one hand and, with the other, smashed an egg on the side of the politician's head at a Melbourne news conference.

Anning, in footage that went viral, was seen punching the boy in the face and then taking another swing before the two were separated. The teenager was tackled to the ground.

The encounter occurred a day after the massacre at two New Zealand mosques left at least 49 people dead and dozens injured.

The same day, the lawmaker said, "This kind of violent vigilantism ... highlights the growing fear within our community, both in Australia and New Zealand, of the increasing Muslim presence."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/16/asia/australian-senator-fraser-anning-egg-incident/index.html




Yes, that happened. So what can be done about it? Elections like Brexit and Trump happened when we weren’t looking. But when the next elections come around, is there anything we can do to stop the trolls and the IRA? Well, when it’s all connected as it is in New Zealand and Australia, then confronting it is going to be next to impossible. But we can be ready for them.

Australian Al Jazeera reporter Rodger Muller infiltrated a meeting between the US National Rifle Association and Australia's far-right/white nationalist party One Nation, where the NRA gave party bosses advice on how to reverse Australia's tough anti-automatic/semi-automatic gun laws (passed after a 1996 mass shooting that killed 35 people) and what to do to deflect public calls for gun control when the next mass shooting happens.

In the secret recording, two One Nation officials -- Chief of Staff James Ashby and Queensland party boss Steve Dickson -- seek up to $20 million from the NRA's US supporters to fund their gun lobbying in Australia.

NRA PR team members Lars Dalseide and Catherine Mortensen gave the One Nation official extensive advice on managing crisis communications following mass shootings, advising them to "say nothing," and to plant stories that smear gun-control advocates by "shaming" them with statements like "how dare you use their deaths to push that forward. How dare you stand on the graves of those children to put forward your political agenda?"

The NRA flaks also described how they encourage friendly reporters to publish stories about violent crimes that suggest the victims would have been able to defend themselves if they had guns; they also described how the NRA ghost wrote op-eds in favor of looser gun laws that were published under local cops' by-lines.
https://boingboing.net/2019/03/28/transparent-shaming.html




That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Washington DC! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know, a lot of my fellow zealots aren’t too keen on higher education. We here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 encourage higher education. It’s one of the staples of this country that makes it great, despite what the unholy Dark One is saying about universities! But… it is getting to be way too expensive! And what does your top dollar get you for admission into these universities, you might ask? Well, if you look at the holiest universities, such as Notre Dame or Liberty University, you might get a whole lot more than you bargained for!

Within months of President Donald Trump taking up residence in the White House, the federal government signed a $900,000 contract to purchase jet fuel from a company owned by evangelical leader Jerry Falwell, Jr.’s Liberty University, according to The Daily Beast.

The Pentagon’s Defense Logistics Agency entered into the agreement on May 9, 2017, thus far buying more than $400,000 worth of turbine fuel. The company, Freedom Aviation, is fully owned by Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, The Daily Beast reported — and Falwell, Jr. is one of the president’s most ardent supporters.

According to Pentagon officials, Freedom Aviation is the only “fixed-base operator” in the area and was contracted to refuel Department of Defense aircraft at the Lynchburg airport.

DLA spokesman Patrick Mackin also said the company “submitted the only offer” to contract for the services, and its per-gallon rate of $2.69 ”was determined fair and reasonable in accordance with the Federal Acquisition Regulation and was in line with prices at other airports in the region.”

But Austin Evers, the executive director of transparency group American Oversight, told The Daily Beast that the deal raises red flags, not the least being Liberty University’s inexperience in providing such services to the government.
https://mavenroundtable.io/theintellectualist/news/jerry-falwell-jr-president-of-liberty-univ-won-lucrative-pentagon-contract-EO54J-hB_UyXZeAZNX9APQ/?utm_source=Amplify&utm_medium=Intellectualist&utm_campaign=Twitter&utm_term=Cheri




Yes, that does seem suspicious indeed! Now in doing the LAWRD’s work, which Jerry Falwell Jr does not, why did they wait until the Dark One assumed power in order to begin selling fuel to the Pentagon? I mean I have never seen anything so preposterous! But the media wasn’t reporting this story and they should report it more! I mean this is some shady shit that we’re seeing here, and I am not at all surprised that Liberty University is doing something shady!

The contract was scrutinized on Thursday after The Daily Beast reported that it was signed shortly after President Trump's inauguration. Trump has close ties to the university's president and delivered a commencement speech there in 2017.

The Defense Department signed a contract to buy jet fuel from Freedom Aviation, which is wholly owned by the university, in May 2017, according to the publication, and has since bought more than $400,000 worth of fuel from the company.

In a statement, Freedom Aviation President Andrew Wallace told The Hill that the Daily Beast's story was "misleading."

"The contract to provide the U.S. Department of Defense with fuel at the Lynchburg Regional Airport has been in place for over 20 years.The term of the contract signed in June 2017 began in November of 2016 and was merely a renewal of the pre-existing contract," Wallace said. "Since 2000, the highest volume of jet fuel delivered to the Defense Department under this jet fuel contract in any given year was during the Obama administration."

Freedom Aviation owns six planes, which it maintains at the university’s Lynchburg, Va., flight school. It provides both charter flights and private aircraft used by the university’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/436252-liberty-university-landed-pentagon-contract-after-inauguration-report




Now I am going to do something unusual and switch subjects for the rest of the segment! I mean yes we only have a limited amount of time here at mass and I can’t divulge anything. I mean that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would do, is it! There’s another higher education controversy that I wanted to get to this week. What is appropriate dress code at mass? It seems that Notre Dame is in trouble over a controversy with the ladies!

A mother’s letter published in Notre Dame’s student newspaper urging the university’s young women to stop wearing leggings went viral this week — and students organized pro-leggings protests in response.

In a letter to the editor titled “The Leggings Problem,” printed in the Observer — the student newspaper for Notre Dame and neighboring schools St. Mary’s and Holy Cross — Maryann White lamented the popularity of the tight-fitting garment amongst the women students of these three Catholic colleges.

White wrote that while attending Mass at Notre Dame’s Basilica of the Sacred Heart during her last campus visit, she and her sons sat behind “a group of young women, all wearing very snug-fitting leggings and all wearing short-waisted tops (so that the lower body was uncovered except for the leggings).”

She described the young women as looking like “the leggings had been painted on” their “blackly naked rear ends.”

“I was ashamed for the young women at Mass. I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds,” she wrote, imploring the female students to cover their “nakedness” so that “unsavory” men wouldn’t ogle them and upstanding men like her sons wouldn’t be forced to avoid looking at their nether regions.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ellievhall/notre-dame-leggings-mother-sons-letter-editor-protest




Yes, won’t somebody think of the children indeed! Oh those poor downtrodden males being subjected to the horrors of form-fitting women’s clothing? Won’t somebody please think of their impure thoughts that might arise! Well, something’s arising anyways! Yes, I couldn’t help that joke sir, we are allowed to do that in my church! And I am using that to prove a point – we’re allowed progressive viewpoints and humor in our church! It’s the people who forbid it where it all goes to shit! So what happens when people don’t? Well you get this! What is this scandal really about?

We can always count on leggings to change the subject for us.

For most of Thursday, March 28, the only headline that shared space with Jussie Smollett on the Chicago Tribune’s “most read stories” list was, “Notre Dame mom begs female students to stop wearing leggings, sparking protests: ‘Think of the mothers of sons.’ ”

Maryann White, a self-described Catholic mother of four sons, wrote a letter to the editor published by the Observer, Notre Dame’s student newspaper, imploring Notre Dame women to start an anti-leggings trend. She was upset, in particular, by seeing young women wearing leggings to Mass recently.

“I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds,” White wrote. “My sons know better than to ogle a woman’s body — certainly when I’m around (and hopefully, also when I’m not). They didn’t stare, and they didn’t comment afterwards. But you couldn’t help but see those blackly naked rear ends. I didn’t want to see them — but they were unavoidable. How much more difficult for young guys to ignore them.

“Leggings are so naked, so form fitting, so exposing,” she continued. “Could you think of the mothers of sons the next time you go shopping and consider choosing jeans instead?”
https://www.heraldcourier.com/community/balancing-act-dear-outraged-notre-dame-leggings-mom-let-s/article_09fd0491-5a3f-567f-9b62-a2cf70b424a1.html




Except we did there, good sir!!!! But this isn’t about the children, this is about the mothers of the children! They might have just as well have said “You dang kids get off my lawn!!”. There you have it, mass has ended! May you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives love to fight strange battles. One of which is a restaurant that repeatedly gets flogged for its’ human rights violations and repeatedly donates to anti-LGBT groups, such as James Dobson’s Focus On The Family, and that is Chik-Fil-A. Well, new controversy erupted this week over Chik-Fil-A getting banned from the airport food court. Really, you’re upset that you can’t eat your favorite shit food restaurant of choice going from San Antonio to Milwaukee, conservatives? All of our other problems have been solved? So you’re choosing to fight battles at the terminal food court. It’s all part of a culture war that nobody asked for, nor did they really want in the first place. Well here’s more.

Chick-fil-A has been banned from opening up a new location at the San Antonio International Airport.

On Thursday, the San Antonio City Council approved a seven-year concessions agreement for new restaurants and businesses in Terminal A of the Texas airport with Paradies Lagardère, a travel retailer and restaurateur that works with more than 100 airports.

Chick-fil-A was initially in the plans, but council members amended the plans to exclude the chicken restaurant, with some citing concerns with its record on LGBTQ issues. The amendment was approved by a 6-4 vote.

Councilman Roberto Treviño said in a statement after the vote that, with the decision, the council "reaffirmed the work our city has done to become a champion of equality and inclusion."

"San Antonio is a city full of compassion, and we do not have room in our public facilities for a business with a legacy of anti-LGBTQ behavior," Treviño said in the statement. “Everyone has a place here, and everyone should feel welcome when they walk through our airport.”
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/03/22/chick-fil-ban-texas-council-bars-chain-airport-lgbtq-past/3247437002/




Oh sure, it starts out innocently enough and that it was a good gesture that the City Of San Antonio actually cares about its’ LGBT citizens. But then the Texas republican party got involved. And you know that nothing good happens when they get a hold of something. Yes, the same people who gave us Trump turn everything to shit!

The Texas attorney general is investigating whether the city of San Antonio violated Chick-fil-A's religious liberty when it banned the fast food chain from its airport.

Last week, the San Antonio city council approved a new concessions contract for the San Antonio International Airport -- on the condition that Chick-fil-A be excluded.

Texas attorney general Ken Paxton slammed the city's decision as "discriminatory" and "inconsistent with the Constitution and Texas law." He echoed that thought in a tweet substituting waffle fries for the famous cannon in the Gonzales flag used during the Texas Revolution.

"The Constitution's protection of religious liberty is somehow even better than Chick-fil-A's chicken," Paxton wrote in a Thursday letter to the San Antonio mayor and city council. "Unfortunately, I have serious concerns that both are under assault at the San Antonio airport."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/29/politics/texas-san-antonio-airport-chick-fil-a-investigation/index.html




Yeah how dare you interfere with my right to preach hatred and eat fried chicken and waffle fries! How dare you, I say!!! But the City Of San Antonio wasn’t alone in banning Chik Fil A from the terminal food court, and you know how politics makes for strange bedfellows. The city of Buffalo also banned Chik Fil A from the terminal food court for the exact same reasons! But at least in New York, they don’t have the Texas republican party to deal with!

Another airport is cancelling its order of Chick-fil-A.

The revamped food court and concessions area within the Buffalo Niagara International Airport will not have a Chick-Fil-A as one of its anchor restaurants. State Assemblyman Sean Ryan, who questioned tentative plans for a Chick-Fil-A outlet at the airport, said Friday that Delaware North has agreed not to bring the Atlanta-based chain into the Cheektowaga terminal.

In preliminary renderings presented Thursday to the NFTA Board of Commissioners said that Chick-Fil-A might have been one of the new food outlets brought to the airport.

He objected because Chick-Fil-A has “a long history of supporting and funding anti-LGBTQ organizations.”

Ryan said following a meeting Friday with Delaware North and NFTA representatives any plans to pursue Chick-Fil-A as a food court anchor tenant were dropped.
https://www.bizjournals.com/atlanta/news/2019/04/01/chick-fil-a-dropped-from-another-airports-plans.html




By the way, Christian conservatives, before you get your underwear in a wad over which restaurants are being allowed at the airport, you should be more concerned with the quality of the food you’re getting at the airport. George Carlin once said that the “terminal snack bar” is probably an appropriate name for it, and he might actually be right! These are some real headlines that have appeared in the last month, and you might want to think twice before you pull the trigger on the airport Popeyes, or Starbucks, or Chik Fil A, or McDonalds, or anywhere else you might fly to!

It may look inviting from the outside, but health inspectors found plenty of issues inside The Westin at DIA. The Grill and Vine restaurant failed our report card with eight health code violations in December.
https://kdvr.com/2019/02/01/restaurant-report-card-food-poisoning-risks-found-at-f-restaurant/


Across the Bay we found a packed St. Pete-Clearwater Airport and their upstairs Sam Adams Grille filled with customers.

But we also found big problems on the restaurant’s Sept. 26 inspection. The establishment is operated by First Class Concessions, written up with 23 violations including a black or green mold-like substance inside the ice machine, an employee not properly washing their hands and touching food without gloves.
https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/local/health-inspector-documents-rodent-chew-marks-on-coffee-stir-sticks-at-airport-restaurant/67-605769116


The Hilton San Antonio Airport Hotel received a failing health score late last month after a city inspector found expired food in the hotel kitchen’s coolers.

The hotel, located in the 600 block of NW Loop 410, also was dinged for having broken kitchenware and for not protecting food in its buffet line from possible contamination
https://www.ksat.com/behind-the-kitchen-door/airport-hilton-flunks-health-inspection-after-discovery-of-expired-food-broken-kitchenware_


A database of city health inspections at 130 O’Hare restaurants shows 10 received failing scores during the last half of 2018.

Some of the restaurants on the list of failed inspections include popular chains like Chili’s and Macaroni and favorites from the Lettuce Entertain You company.
https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2019/02/04/ohare-food-inspections/





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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey Washington DC! I really need a drink!



Of course you know by now that the idea of this feature is that we cocktail and while we’re cocktailing we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And this week we’re going to talk about the great bagel controversy of 2019. Yes, bagels. So tell me bartender, what goes well with some bagels with lox and cream cheese? A glass of Manechevitz? Eh, I think I will stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So we’re going to get schvitzed and talk about the right way to slice your bagels. Sliced horizontally with a giant schmear of cream cheese. Maybe some smoked salmon thrown in for good measure. But how does St. Louis slice theirs?

Earlier this week, a man named Alek Krautmann decided to share a photo of bread-sliced bagels, calling it "the St. Louis secret of ordering bagels." Though Alek said that the bagels were a hit with his coworkers, Twitter was NOT having it. Krautmann's tweet has garnered more than 8,000 comments, many of which are expressing total outrage for the sliced bagel. Even Chrissy Teigen, the unofficial Mayor of Twitter herself, chimed in, encouraging her loyal followers to "vote NO on prop: slicingbagels."

I was born and raised in St. Louis, and until yesterday, I thought the bread-sliced bagels that my friends and I ordered at St. Louis Bread Co. (Panera, to all you haters) were...dare I say—normal?! It truly never occurred to me that NO ONE else anywhere ever ate their bagels this way.

Look, I would never support a true New York bagel being sliced this way. Would you bread-slice a bagel topped with lox, or a BEC? Absolutely not. But hear me out: Panera's bagels, though, are arguably more like bread than an actual bagel, anyway, so bread-slicing a bagel is actually somewhat of a bagel hack. Here's all the good it's bringing the world.

Have you ever tried eating a bagel with cream cheese (cut in half) on-the-go? Nearly impossible. The slices of bagel, though, are more snackable, and less aggressive to try to eat in the car, at your desk, in class, etc.
https://www.delish.com/food-news/a26973427/st-louis-sliced-bagel-reactions/




NO!!! It is not hard to eat a bagel, you idiots! And I’ve eaten plenty of them in my life! Bagels are delicious, especially prepared with the right cream cheese! They don’t need any additional help or new and innovative ways to eat them! Thank you, audience! And if you’re that concerned about getting cream cheese everywhere, maybe don’t put that much on it. So how is this dividing the country? As if we don’t need more division!

Man from St. Louis, Missouri: This is how we slice our bagels. Like a loaf of bread.

Twitter: No, thanks. Also, that is horrible. And here are some other terrible things you probably do in St. Louis.

That’s pretty much how it went down on Wednesday, and why St. Louis — and Panera — are trending on Twitter, in something Twitter Moments has dubbed “Bagelgate.”

It all started with that poor unfortunate soul who introduced the idea to an unsuspecting social media audience.

“Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced,” Alek Krautmann tweeted on Monday night, along with the offending photo. “It was a hit!”

In the picture, the bagels, purchased from Panera — which is known in St. Louis as Saint Louis Bread Company — were sliced from top to bottom and not on their sides, as if they were individual loaves of bread, with no regard to their ring shape.
https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2019/03/bagel-blasphemy-st-louis-style-bread-slicing-throws-twitter-into-a-chewy-upheaval.html




Ah thanks, I needed that! Now of course, Twitter, in its’ usual fashion, is never one to rest on its’ laruels, and instead decided to show other ways that St. Louis could improve various foods. And even one of Trump’s favorite targets, Chuck Schumer, decided to weigh in on the controversy. He’s from New York, he should know the proper form of bagel consumption!

It was a St. Louis "secret" that struck revulsion in the hearts of many from bagel-proud cities like New York – bagels sliced like bread.

Now, social media users and even major brands are having a go at the city's unorthodox bagel treatment on Twitter, posting photos of foods prepared "St. Louis style."

The bagel slicing ordeal began on Monday when Twitter user Alek Krautmann tweeted a photo of two boxes of bagels sliced like bread that were purchased at Panera Bread. He pointed out that it creates more slices and more surface area for cream cheese. He wrote that the few remaining slices make nice bagel chips with hummus.

"Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit!" Krautmann tweeted.

However, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York wasn't buying it over the traditional horizontal slice. The Democrat tweeted, "St Louis, fuhgeddaboudit."
https://whotv.com/2019/03/29/hilarious-posts-show-more-st-louis-style-foods-after-bagel-blow-up/




So we’ve got two bagels here – one prepared the right way, and one prepared the St. Louis way. Let’s try these. Dude, that’s not a bagel! It’s sliced fucking bread!!! I mean really they probably sell these at the grocery store as “bread chips”. Yeah you know the day old bag of them that you find next to the fresh made bread. With that in mind, what do actual New Yorkers think of this crime against food? Well, they think of it as a crime against food! Literally!

Alek Krautmann seemed to think he was doing the world a favor on Monday when he tweeted a photo of two boxes of bagels brutally cut in oblong slices. He had brought them from Panera Bread to share the "St Louis secret" of "bread sliced" bagels with his co-workers.

But to New Yorkers, Krautmann might as well have posted a picture of a crime scene or a horrific car crash. Some called the cursed image downright criminal.

"Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen," NYPD Chief of Detectives Dermot Shea said on Twitter.

City Councilman Robert Holden said his fellow lawmakers could even pass legislation to make such bagel mutliation a felony. One of his colleagues agreed.

"I believe this is a Class A felony in New York City. And if its not, it should be," tweeted Councilman Justin Brannan, a Brooklyn Democrat.


Some people tried to defend slicing a bagel vertically rather than the standard horizontal cut. The practice apparently comes from the St. Louis Bread Company, a Panera prescursor.

One person said bread-slicing is ideal for offices with lots of hungry workers. Another argued, "It's like turning your bagel into a chip and dipping it in cream cheese." (This may be unnecessary, as bagel chips already exist.)
https://patch.com/new-york/new-york-city/bagel-slicing-crime-sparks-outrage-nyc





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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Ladies and gentlemen, we are at the end of Round 1! Last week as you know, Michigan routed Alaska to advance to play Wisconsin in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship. Meanwhile in the Gun Nut Conference, Florida hung on by a thread as Montana answered with 10 straight points but could not make that final basket in. What an utter defeat for Montana. This week it’s the final week of Round 1 as we head to the home of the Oregon Ducks, the Matthew Knight Arena! This week Georgia will battle Texas to take on the Batshit Conference championship and the winner will play Kentucky. While in the Family Values Conference, two longtime favorites – Ohio and Alabama, will duke it out to play Mississippi in the FVC championships! Let’s break out those brackets and follow along!

:large

[font size="4"]Georgia Vs Texas[/font]

[font size="4"]Georgia[/font]

Georgia was one of the hottest teams in the NFFSA last year. Usually a last place offering in the Batshit Conference, the election between Stacy Abrams and Brian Kemp was the stuff of pure insanity and it still isn’t over even though Brian Kemp was declared the winner and he is already serving. Abrams may have moved on also, but it isn’t over without a fight. But not even a few months into his term, Kemp is already moving on to being investigated by a Georgia House committee! Yes, one of the craziest politicians that Georgia has elected in some time didn’t take long to make that claim of his overall craziness.

The House Oversight and Reform Committee is investigating allegations of voter suppression in Georgia under Secretary of State Brian Kemp, who has since become governor.

The investigation was revealed in letters that the committee’s Democratic leaders sent on Wednesday to Mr. Kemp and his successor as secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger. The letters instructed Mr. Kemp and Mr. Raffensperger — both Republicans — to provide by March 20 a wide range of documents concerning voter roll purges; holds placed on voter registration applications; polling site changes and closings; and other voting-related issues.

The committee also requested all documents related to the potential conflict of interest Mr. Kemp faced in administering an election in which he was a candidate.

“The Committee is particularly concerned by reports that Georgians faced unprecedented challenges with registering to vote and significant barriers to casting their votes during your tenure as secretary of state and during the 2018 election,” Representatives Elijah E. Cummings, the committee chairman, and Jamie Raskin, head of the Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, wrote to Mr. Kemp.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/06/us/politics/governor-brian-kemp-voter-suppression.html




And they might need a few bad court thingys. And of course once he got to power what did he immediately do? Cater to the Christian right and anti-abortion extremists by signing an absolutely dangerous bill that will have long lasting implications!

Hollywood's elite are joining together to call on Republican governor Brian Kemp to veto Georgia's new anti-abortion heartbeat bill.

Georgia lawmakers approved the legislation, which bars women from abortion procedures if a "fetal heartbeat" is detected--something that can happen as early as six weeks into a pregnancy--on Friday. If enacted, the new law would reduce the amount of time a woman can legally have an abortion in the state by 14 weeks.

Responding to the bill, actress Alyssa Milano started a petition to urge Kemp to veto the bill otherwise she, and others, would not be able to work in Georgia "in good conscience."

Actors Don Cheadle, Debra Messing, Sean Penn and many more signed onto Milano's petition.

The Writers Guild of America also wrote a letter to Kemp, calling for a veto.
https://www.governing.com/topics/health-human-services/tns-georgia-heartbeat-bill-hollywood-boycott.html



[font size="4"]Texas[/font]


Last year’s champion needs absolutely no introduction. The state that can manage to outcrazy Florida always never disappoints in this tournament. But this year injuries and trades have sidelined the champions. So what will it take to bounce back and claim the Batshit Conference title? Well a whole lot of pure, unaltered insanity including a botched voter purge. Yes, they can’t even purge voters correctly in the Lone Star State!

The U.S. House Committee on Oversight and Reform is investigating Texas' botched effort to purge suspected non-citizens from the voter rolls.

“We are disturbed by reports that the secretary of state’s office has taken steps to remove thousands of eligible American voters from the rolls in Texas and that your office received referrals for possible criminal prosecution based on flawed data about Texas voters,” U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings, a Democrat who chairs the committee, wrote Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton in a letter Thursday.

The committee is requesting a slew of documents from the Texas secretary of state’s office, including any correspondence with Trump administration officials and Paxton’s office. The letter notes the Congressional committee has broad power to investigate “any matter” at “any time.”

The secretary of state’s office didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment. In late January, the office announced it had identified nearly 100,000 suspected non-citizens on the state’s voter rolls. Paxton announced the news on Twitter with the proclamation “VOTER FRAUD ALERT.” President Donald Trump also chimed in, wrongly claiming that all 95,000 people on the list were “non-citizens registered to vote.”

Read more: https://www.mrt.com/news/local/politics/article/Congressional-Democrats-launch-investigation-into-13724240.php




That is true! And by the way, Texas Man might be the new Florida Man. But Texas Man can be way scarier than Florida Man in every way. While we view Florida Man as the funny, weird, quirky, bizarre, meth addicted personality that we’ve all come to know and love, Texas Man takes that and adds insanity and evil. Want proof? Alex Jones is from there. And this guy.

A Dallas spine surgeon accused of earning almost $5 million in bribes and kickbacks from Forest Park Medical Center told a jury he was "baffled" by the allegations and blamed his predicament on overzealous prosecutors and greedy hospital marketers.

Dr. Michael Rimlawi took the witness stand Thursday and Friday during the culmination of a six-week trial and told the jury that the co-marketing of hospitals and doctors is commonplace in the health care industry.

"I'm totally confused why I'm even here," he told jurors. "I never thought for one second it was illegal."

But prosecutors say he knowingly and illegally took the money -- $225,000 per month -- in exchange for bringing his surgeries to the now-defunct, doctor-owned hospital, which needed the expensive procedures to thrive.

Read more: https://www.dallasnews.com/news/crime/2019/03/29/surgeon-forest-park-kickback-trial-quarrels-prosecutor-guys-scare-witnesses




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Well this is another close game that is going to come down to the wire here! Current score is 65 – 63, with less than a minute to go. Here comes Texas, they shoot… they MISS!!! Oh my god, Texas misses the ball, and here comes Georgia with the rebound. They shoot… they’re in!!!! Georgia hits it just as the clock runs out. Final score 66 – 65, Texas is stunned, they will go home, Georgia moves on to face Kentucky!

[font size="4"]Ohio Vs Alabama[/font]

[font size="4"]Ohio[/font]


The Buckeye State needs no introduction. The state that gave us such universities as Dayton and The Ohio State (don’t you dare forget the “The”), Cincinatti, and Kent State, may be home to some of the most brilliant minds in the country. But there’s also a lot of expanse between the major cities in the Buckeye State. Which means that there’s a lot of rural towns. And with those rural towns comes lots of family values loving, Bible thumping insanity! So just how much does Ohio love its’ children? Well, not a whole lot as much as the love children that are still in the womb.

Overwhelmed by the surge of children who have parents consumed by drug addiction, Ohio’s system of protecting abused and neglected kids is facing a crisis of its own.

A spike in the number of children in foster care — many with more complex needs — along with inadequate funding and overburdened caseworkers, underscores the need for increased spending and reforms, according to a report released Friday by the Public Children Services Association of Ohio.

“We don’t have enough services to prevent kids from coming into care. Families are struggling to access mental-health services, crisis services, autism services at the local level — especially in their own home so kids don’t have to come into care,” said Angela Sausser, the association’s executive director.

“We have so many kids in care — with so many complex needs — that there’s not enough services and providers to address the needs.”

Read more: https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190329/ohio-child-welfare-system-in-crisis-advocates-say




Apparently, you don’t, so stop asking! So let’s explore Ohio hypocrisy here for a minute. They love children and their politicians run on that fact. Just ask Jim Jordan. What? Too soon? Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to go out on? Fine. But consider this – Ohio considers the fetus so human that they require a disposal of remains after passing. This is shockingly evil.

The Ohio Senate passed a bill Wednesday that would require the burial or cremation of fetal remains after a surgical abortion.

Under Senate Bill 27, which passed 24-7, people who violate the requirement would face a first-degree misdemeanor. Facilities that perform abortions, including workers at public hospitals, could be subject to the charges.

Women seeking abortions would have to express in writing, through a form the Ohio Department of Health develops, whether she wants the fetal remains to be buried or cremated. Minors seeking an abortion would first have to obtain consent from a parent, guardian or court. SB 27 states if a woman declines to “exercise the rights under the bill,” then the abortion facility would have to determine whether to cremate or bury the remains.

The pregnant woman wouldn’t be charged under the bill.

Read more: https://www.cleveland.com/open/2019/03/ohio-senate-passes-bill-to-require-burial-cremation-of-fetal-remains-after-abortion.html




[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]


Alabama is pure Trump country. They were one of the first states to plunk down all their electoral votes in the 2016 election and the politicians they’ve elected since then have been just absolutely batshit crazy and thumping the Bible harder than the other guy. Sure, they may have dodged a huge bullet by electing Doug Jones over Roy Moore but that’s just the beginning. Let’s put it this way, there’s no way that the Yellowhammer State is turning Blue anytime soon. Remember Ohio’s extreme anti-abortion law they passed earlier? Alabama is upping the ante!

Alabama could be the latest state to consider an abortion ban as supporters hope to spark legal challenges to revisit Roe v. Wade, the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion.

Rep. Terri Collins, a Republican from Decatur, said she plans to introduce legislation Tuesday that would make it a felony to perform an abortion in Alabama at any stage of pregnancy. The only exemption would be for the health of the mother.

“This bill just truly confronts Roe versus Wade and it criminalizes abortion,” Collins said. “To me this is an issue the court simply got wrong years ago.”

Collins and Eric Johnston, director of the Alabama Pro-Life Coalition, said the hope is to ignite a legal fight and eventually get the U.S. Supreme Court to revisit the 1973 decision that legalized abortion.

Read more: https://whnt.com/2019/03/30/alabama-lawmakers-seek-ban-on-almost-all-abortions/




Yes that did go south! But guess what? It seems that Alabama don’t care. In fact they don’t care so much that it’s affecting the entire state, and it’s going to affect it for the foreseeable future. Because while Trump is planning to do a huge reversal on America’s health care laws, it seems that Alabama will be one of the worst affected by it. So what can be done about it? Electing new people for one.

Sen. Doug Jones, D-Alabama, said Tuesday that Alabama would be one of the hardest-hit states if President Barack Obama’s 2010 health care law, the Affordable Care Act, is reversed by federal courts.

“If the courts dismantle this law, Alabama is one of the states with the most to lose,” Jones said. “It’s already a challenge for many Alabamians to access the health care they need, particularly in our rural communities.”

Jones’ comments come after President Donald Trump’s administration announced it would ask the federal courts to invalidate the Affordable Care Act. The Justice Department filed the notice to the court late Monday, which seeks to strike down the whole law including Medicaid expansion and protections for those with pre-existing conditions.

“Instead of making that even more difficult, we need to be focusing on making some much-needed improvements to our current system, like lowering the cost of prescription drugs, combating the opioid epidemic, increasing access to rural health care and finally expanding Medicaid in the state of Alabama,” Jones said. “The Administration is playing politics with health care and we have to stand up to protect folks from losing their coverage and the vital protections that the federal health law guarantees.”

Read more: https://www.alreporter.com/2019/03/27/jones-alabama-is-one-of-the-states-with-the-most-to-lose-if-health-care-law-is-reversed/




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Sorry, Ohio, but Alabama owns this conference, and they have for the last 3 years! They handily hand Ohio their walking papers by routing them with a score of 15. Final score – 81 – 66. The Elite 8 is set people, it’s getting very exciting!!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

We begin round 2 play as we take an expanded look at the Gun Nut Conference – Florida Vs Oregon, the winner moves on to the Layover League championship, the loser goes home! We’re live in Reno at the home of the Wolfpack, the Lawlor Arena, for all the action! It’s getting very exciting!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]AFI[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen you know my next guest, you can see them on tour with Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds and the Smashing Pumpkins this July and August. Playing their song “Break Angels” from their new EP “The Missing Man”, give it up for AFI!




Thank you Washington DC! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We’re back in New York City next week! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 3, 2019, 05:00 PM (4 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-12: Screw U, Next Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-12: Screw U, Next Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. Act now and get 4 free phones on our best ever unlimited 4G LTE plan! What’s up Tampa, you guys doing good? Yeah after what happened on Sunday I’m kind of in a fuck everything mood. Hey, same as I was the day after the election! But I don’t want to talk about that. Instead I want to talk about streaming services. Do we really need another one? And more importantly do we need a teaser for another one I’m not going to watch? We already live in a time in which there’s too much television. It’s impossible to keep up. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, Apple announced that *THEY* are launching yet another streaming service with original content. That's in addition to the 800,000,000 streaming services with original content that are in the works. I mean pretty soon they'll just be making shows for an audience of one. Hey Joe, we made this show just for you! If you don't like it, we wasted millions on the production! And if that wasn’t enough, Apple can now be your bank! I mean shit, also do we really need another credit card? There’s too much of that too. Then there’s Apple’s programming. Sure, some of it sounds interesting but then there’s really not a whole lot that is being shown. Just it’s getting to be too damn much. Yeah I know I sound like someone who is technologically impaired, but you know what? Fuck it. Apple getting into the TV game is like a restaurant calling itself "Fat Sal's" getting into the health food game. You don't go to Fat Sal's for a kale and chicken salad, no. You go to Fat Sal's for the giant pastrami and roast beef sandwiches topped with french fries and mozzarella sticks! You go to Apple not for original content or credit cards, but the devices to watch the original content on! Although Apple if you’re interested in getting into the news comedy game, may I recommend the Top 10 Conservative Idiots? We’re relatively cheap to produce since we have a budget of 0, and I’m available whenever you want! We also show up on Google Images so we have an audience! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Bill Maher is back and he discusses the topic of unnecessary upgrading:



God where do we begin for this week? Well in the first slot of course is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1). So it’s the end of the Mueller report as we know it and I feel fine, just like the song suggests! In the third slot this week, is Devin Nunes, and I couldn’t love this story more, he is suing Twitter for an ungodly amount of money over an account called “Devin Nunes’ Cow” which now has more followers than he does! Taking the fourth slot this week, we got to ask what’s up with Brexit (4) because the deadline is fast approaching, and neither party can come to a conclusion as to what they can do with the UK leaving the EU. Is it too late to start over? In the fifth slot this week, we’re going to do a new feature called “This Week In Hate Radio” (5), because since the Mueller Report and the Christchurch shooting, they’ve been pouring the crazy extra strong lately. In the sixth slot this week is Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to take a look at free speech on college campuses in regards to Trump’s executive order – is it really a thing or is it a non issue? We’re leaning toward the latter. At number 7 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and should we really be praying for brutal dictators? Our resident pastor will examine this issue after Brazil’s Bolsonaro visits the Dark One. In the 8th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” and conservative commentators are really escalating their violent rhetoric in regards to a second Civil War. Will it happen? Probably not. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new People Are Dumb, and since we’re in Florida, we’re going to do an all Florida Man edition in response to last week’s Florida Man challenge! And finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3! We’re live in Utah for the 3rd round action as Florida takes on Montana to play Idaho in the Gun Nut championship, while Michigan goes for broke against hot newcomer Alaska to play Wisconsin in the Fiscal Irresponsibility championship! Plus we have some live music from the Dirty Heads! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br] B

Yeah… so the Mueller report is over. But come on people, did you really expect impeachment? And did you really expect Jared, Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr to be indicted? Oh wait, they’re all under separate investigations. Well, there’s plenty of reasons that Trump will go down or continue to shoot himself in the foot. So now what are the long lasting effects of the Mueller report? Sure, Trump says one thing and his supporters repeat it until they’re blue in the face, but did they actually read the report? I’m guessing no, because if they even read so much past the words “no collusion”, they would have seen this.

Special counsel Robert Mueller did not find evidence that President Trump's campaign conspired with Russia to influence the 2016 election, according to a summary of findings submitted to Congress by Attorney General William Barr.

"The Special Counsel's investigation did not find that the Trump campaign or anyone associated with it conspired or coordinated with Russia in its efforts to influence the 2016 U.S. presidential election," Barr wrote in a letter to leaders of the House and Senate judiciary committees on Sunday afternoon.

That was despite "multiple offers from Russian-affiliated individuals to assist the Trump campaign," he wrote.

However, Mueller's investigation did not take a position on whether Trump obstructed justice by trying to frustrate the ongoing investigation.
https://www.npr.org/2019/03/24/706318191/trump-white-house-havent-seen-or-been-briefed-on-mueller-investigation-report




And there is still that possibility. In fact I’m willing to bet that Trump didn’t read past the words “no collusion”. You know kind of like when you’re reading through a textbook and all you see is the keyword answer and you don’t read the whole sentence. Of course you get it wrong on the test! And you know what? We may never know what’s on the report because despite that Congress voted 455 – 0 to release the full report!

The world got its first glimpse on Sunday into the investigation that has cast a cloud over Donald Trump's presidency.

After two days reading through Special Counsel Robert Mueller's confidential report, Attorney General William Barr sent a letter to Congress offering a summary of the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and possible links to Trump's campaign.

In Barr's letter, he said that no proof was found that the Trump campaign conspired with Russia but said no decision was made over whether the president obstructed justice. Barr said that Mueller's office left that charging decision to him and the Justice Department.

"The Special Counsel states that 'while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him,'" the letter states, quoting from the special counsel investigation.

Barr added that after review, he and Deputy Attorney General Rob Rosenstein "have concluded that the evidence developed during the Special Counsel's investigation is not sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction-of-justice offense."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2019/03/23/robert-mueller-report-heres-what-we-know-and-dont-know/3251011002/




Well, we still hope that Trump will join George Bluth in prison. Hey, they can share a cell, just remember that there’s no touching! So this may excuse Trump of the crime of colluding with a hostile foreign power but it doesn’t really excuse him for the hundreds of other crimes that he’s under investigation for, so he may be celebrating a bit prematurely. Because of course he does. But that doesn’t mean that he’s entirely off the hook yet.

Back in February 2018, special counsel Robert Mueller's team of prosecutors brought charges against 13 Russian individuals and three Russian businesses for their alleged role in what one of the accused had allegedly described as "information warfare" -- a sophisticated influence operation targeting the 2016 presidential election. But it wasn't until almost a year later that Mueller's team revealed that those weren't the only suspected trolls the U.S. government had in its sights.

In a court filing arguing against sharing "sensitive" information with some of the defendants, Mueller’s team said in January that some of the information it had “identifies uncharged individuals and entities that the government believes are continuing to engage in operations that interfere with lawful U.S. government functions like those activities charged in the indictment.”

Two months later, no other suspects have been charged, and a senior Justice Department official told ABC News Friday that Mueller was not recommending any more indictments -- presumably including for the suspected Russians. So now that Mueller's investigation has concluded, what fate awaits them?

Experts told ABC News Saturday that just because Mueller is done, it doesn’t mean the Russians are in the clear legally, depending on how the U.S. government wants to proceed.

“Charges involving other trolls could be brought by other [Department of Justice] offices, whether a U.S. attorney’s office or main Justice,” Randall Eliason, a former federal prosecutor and lecturer at George Washington University, said.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/robert-mueller-report-finished-alleged-russian-trolls/story?id=61892357




Yeah probably. But as we’ve seen time and time again there’s nothing we can do to solve America’s current deep divide. As the GOP’s current favorite punching bag, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez points out, impeaching Trump is not going to be the solution to everything. There’s still plenty of problems that we have to sort out before we can get America back on track.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) called President Donald Trump “horrific,” but said on Sunday that he was just a symptom of “much deeper problems” facing the nation.

“He can stay, he can go. He can be impeached, or voted out in 2020,” she wrote on Twitter, then added:

“But removing Trump will not remove the infrastructure of an entire party that embraced him; the dark money that funded him; the online radicalization that drummed his army; nor the racism he amplified + reanimated.”

Ocasio-Cortez said those deeper problems included income inequality, racism, corruption and a willingness to excuse bigotry. And those, she wrote, can’t be fixed with an election:

In order for us to heal as a nation, we ALL must pursue the hard work of addressing these root causes.

It’s not as easy as voting. It means having uncomfortable moments convos w/ loved ones, w/ media, w/ those we disagree, and yes - within our own party, too.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-trump-symptom_n_5c98612fe4b057f7330c97e8





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know it’s a fucked up week when Trump tells a deceased war veteran and career senator like John McCain to go fuck himself, and it’s not the craziest thing that happened. In fact think of it like Ariana Grande’s smash hit song “Thank U, Next”, only this is Trump telling his opponents “Screw U, Next”. Now he’s going after everyone because he watches way too much Fox News and they’re actively telling him that Obamacare is a bad thing. So to retaliate, Trump is turning up the crazy extra hard this week. How low is he going?

Senator John McCain of Arizona passed away at the age of 81 last August, and days later, he was honored during a funeral at the Washington National Cathedral. And now, President Donald Trump — who previously mocked McCain for, of all things, being a former prisoner of war — has made it clear that he would like to be thanked for the late senator’s funeral service.

Trump made his surprising-but-then-again-when-you-think-of-it-not-surprising remark about McCain during a Wednesday event at a manufacturing facility in Ohio. Surrounded by tanks and American flags, Trump told the crowd about McCain: “I have to be honest, I’ve never liked him much. Hasn’t been for me.” He then brought up the Steele dossier (you know the one he’s referring to), stating that the late senator received it and “he didn’t call me. He turned it over to the FBI to put me in jeopardy.”

By far the most bizarre part of his rant came later, when Trump expressed clear bitterness about the fact that no one had thanked him for McCain’s funeral, which he wasn’t even invited to.

“I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president I had to approve,” he said. “I don’t care about this, I didn’t get, ‘Thank you,’ but that’s okay. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”
https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/donald-trump-john-mccain-funeral-thank-you-ohio.html




Of course not, dipshit! It’s a funeral! Nobody thanks anybody for a funeral, especially the person in the casket! And Trump’s the kind of asshole who would slap a terms of service agreement on a funeral. You know that. “OK… the deceased can be buried if thanks are given at the following time of day of the week ending on the 26th… “. But even the National Cathedral is coming out against what Trump is saying about the funeral. That’s how fucked up this is – the place that held it has to give PR now!

The Washington National Cathedral disputed President Trump's claim that he had to "approve" the funeral of the late Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.).

"Washington National Cathedral was honored to host the funeral service for Senator John McCain. All funerals and memorial services at the Cathedral are organized by the family of the deceased; only a state funeral for a former president involves consultation with government officials," a cathedral spokesperson said in a statement to The Hill on Thursday.

"No funeral at the Cathedral requires the approval of the president or any other government official," he added.

President Trump said on Wednesday in Ohio that he gave McCain "the kind of funeral that he wanted."

“I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president, I had to approve,” he told a crowd at an Ohio event. “I don’t care about this, I didn’t get 'thank you.' That’s OK. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/435152-national-cathedral-says-trump-didnt-need-to-give-approval-for




And then it shifted from attacks on McCain to attacks on the husband of his top advisor Kellyanne Conway, and really, did he have to go there? Oh who am I kidding? Of course he did! He’s the husband from hell everyone, and he’s also the president! Hey o!!! Thank you I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress!

Kellyanne Conway’s spouse is a “husband from hell!” President Donald Trump declared Wednesday, escalating his awkward public fight with the husband of one of his closest advisers. A “whack job,” he added later.

Trump’s feud with George Conway played out with ever more heated rhetoric on social media. Conway, an attorney who has questioned Trump’s mental health, fired back after Trump’s latest tweet, saying the president seems “determined to prove my point.”

The caustic exchanges also drew a response from Kellyanne Conway, the longtime Republican pollster who served as Trump’s third campaign manager before joining the administration as a counselor to the president.

Conway, who is considered one of Trump’s top advisers and is a high-profile face on television defending him, told Politico that Trump had avoided targeting her husband for months “out of respect for me.” But she added: “You think he shouldn’t respond when somebody, a non-medical professional, accuses him of having a mental disorder? You think he should just take that sitting down?”
http://time.com/5554883/trump-tweets-attack-george-conway/




And by the way if you wonder if there is a sinister motive behind the 2020 elections, have no fear because George Conway is here to do some Trumpsplaining to you guys! Of course there’s a sinister motive behind Trump’s 2020 reelection bid. I mean did you really expect anything less? I know that I don’t!

George Conway said Friday that President Trump "thinks he needs to be re-elected to avoid being indicted," taking another public shot on Twitter at the president.

Conway, who is married to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, came under attack from Trump this week after Conway questioned the president's mental fitness — a jab he made again on Friday.

The two have engaged in a bitter fight over Twitter and in presidential interviews with reporters all week.

“THINK about the fact that we don’t just have a mentally unstable president—but a president who thinks he needs to be re-elected to avoid being indicted. (At least in that one respect his thinking is clear.),” Conway tweeted.

The president is currently under investigation on an array of fronts, though it is far from clear he'll be indicted for anything.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/435267-george-conway-extends-trump-feud-trump-thinks-he-needs-to-be-re






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[font size="8"]What’s Up With Brexit?
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You know the last time we checked in with Brexit was when we actually visited England last December (see: [link=https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211543778 | Idiots #5-23]), and it was crazy then. But the deadline for the UK to withdraw from the EU is this week. This week!!! Yes, so the deadline is this Thursday and they *STILL* can’t come to a conclusion. And there’s no possible scenario in which the UK comes out ahead in this. None. It’s going to be impossible to unpack all of this in four days and they may just wind up saying “fuck it”. So what happened while we were all watching basketball?

This was supposed to be the week when, for better or worse, Britain's Brexit future finally started to take shape.

This Friday, March 29, was the deadline etched into law as well as the minds of many Brits — the date they were finally set to leave the European Union.

But with British politics deep in uncharted waters, even that has been postponed. Because of an 11th-hour extension agreed to by Prime Minister Theresa May and European leaders last week, Brexit won't happen until at least April 12.

A delay, but far from a solution. All of the same problems that have reduced Brexit to chaos and quagmire still hang over this divided country.

On Monday, the European Commission said it was "increasingly likely" the U.K. will crash out of the E.U. without a deal. A "no-deal Brexit" does have some supporters, but many experts see it as a nightmare scenario that could blight the economy and bring shortages of food, medicine and basic supplies.
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/brexit-referendum/brexit-latest-european-commission-says-no-deal-brexit-increasingly-likely-n986851




This really is Anarchy In The UK for real! You ever stop and think that maybe the ultimate goal in all of these elections – going back to Duterte, Erdogan, Trump, Brexit, Bolsonaro, that the goal was complete and total chaos? Just whatever can we do to upset the established order? They got this week to figure shit out and they can’t even do that!

The drama of last night's vote in UK Parliament and the prospect of indicative votes tomorrow has thrust Oliver Letwin, the architect of the plan, into the spotlight.

Letwin is far from a household name -- but tomorrow, he will take control of the order paper in Parliament away from the government for the first time in living memory. So who is he?

Letwin is the Conservative MP for West Dorset, and voted Remain in the 2016 referendum. He is a veteran parliamentarian and known as something of a political fixer. He was an aide to former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and was a government minister under David Cameron.

Under Cameron's premiership, he helped maintain the relationship with the Conservatives' then coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats. He wrote the party's 2010 election manifesto -- its program for government.
https://edition.cnn.com/uk/live-news/brexit-latest-26-march-gbr-intl/index.html




I mean really at this point does anyone else to expect Parliament to stage a full Delta House style walkout with the Liberal Democrats humming “God Save The Queen” as they exit the House Of Commons? Anyone OK with that? Because that’s exactly what I picture happening on March 29th at midnight when neither party can come to a conclusion.

LONDON (Reuters) - British Prime Minister Theresa May will address her Conservative lawmakers on Wednesday, possibly to announce a resignation date in a last throw of the dice to win support for her twice-rejected Brexit deal in parliament.

At her weakest after parliament seized control of Brexit on Monday, May has yet to give up hope of getting approval for her deal to leave the European Union, which she says is the only way of ensuring an orderly exit that will safeguard business.

Parliament’s move seemed to have focused minds, with some eurosceptic lawmakers saying they could back her plan before choosing a new leader for the next phase of talks with the EU. But as yet her Northern Irish powerbrokers are still opposed.

One lawmaker from her Conservative Party said the prime minister’s decision to address the party’s so-called 1922 Committee at 1700 GMT on Wednesday suggested she could set her date of departure to win over that support.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-britain-eu/weaker-than-ever-uk-pm-may-tries-to-force-her-brexit-deal-through-idUSKCN1R70V6


&t=20s


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[font size="8"]Devin Nunes
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I couldn’t love this next story more. So of course you’ve probably heard by now that California representative Devin Nunes (R-obviously) has had a Twitter beef with his own cow. Or at least an account called @DevinCow (of which by the way, the Top 10 is a follower of now). And since we all know that republicans have no sense of humor, to the point which they fail to understand or grasp the concept of a joke, what do they do? Well, Devin sued Twitter for a whopping $250 million – yes, it seems that’s everyone’s price right now is a QUARTER OF A BILLION dollars. In fact here’s how all of this went down.

Consider this: A parody account pretending to be an imaginary cow owned by Representative Devin Nunes, the California Republican, is more popular on Twitter than the congressman, a day after he sued the account (and Twitter) for $250 million.

This is how politics and humor now play out in the strange world of social media.

The parody account @DevinCow had only 1,200 followers on Monday, but it ended Wednesday afternoon with 467,000, surpassing Mr. Nunes’s account with its 395,000 followers.

And the count was still growing. By Thursday evening, after news coverage, the gap had widened, with the fake cow at 600,000 followers.

But there’s more. A website now sells Devin Cow T-shirts. Twitter users have been celebrating with cow-themed items and jokes. Even Mr. Nunes’s fellow legislators showed their support for the errant beast. Ted Lieu, a Democratic congressman from Southern California, told Mr. Nunes on Twitter to “lighten up, dude.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/20/us/politics/nunes-devincow-twitter.html




Yes, maybe Devin should take a page from Bart Simpson here. Don’t have a cow. And I love that the account went from just barely toppling 1,000 viewers to over half a million! Oh and guess what? He’s not done yet! In fact there might be more lawsuits against Twitter for “defamation of character”. I mean really? Has he not been on the internet?

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) promised that he would file more lawsuits to “come after” people who “defame” him and other politicians on Twitter.

Nunes made the remarks during an interview with Mark Levin, where he discussed his lawsuit against Twitter. It was pointed out by The Democratic Coalition, a left-leaning PAC, on Wednesday evening.

“Sorry you just don’t get to defame politicians and put it out on Twitter anymore,” the California lawmaker said. “I mean, you can do it. But I’m gonna come after you.”

Nunes filed a lawsuit against Twitter earlier this week, seeking $250 million in compensatory damages and $350,000 in punitive damages, alleging that conservatives were being “shadow banned.” He also pointed to several parody accounts that were made “for the sole purpose of attack, defaming, disparaging, and demeaning” him. Fox News first reported on the lawsuit.

The lawsuit also seeks to have the identities of those running the parody accounts released.
https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/devin-nunes-twitter-come-after/




You think that's bad, wait until he gets a hold of this show! Bye everyone, it was nice knowing you! Yeah we make fun of Devy a lot on this show, and I’m sure he hates being called Devy. But this might be my new favorite thing. Devin is really showing what thin skins republicans have. But here’s the thing I love when people start fucking with the political process and showing what thin skins politicians have.

By Michael Andor Brodeur Globe Correspondent March 22, 2019

These are strange times. A town in Minnesota is mourning the death of its dog mayor. A town in Vermont just elected a goat. A colicky pomeranian sits in the White House. And on Twitter — where everything gets even stranger — a Congressman’s cow is moo-nopolizing all the attention.

You may have heard that California Representative Devin Nunes announced a $250 million defamation lawsuit he filed against Twitter as well as three users — Republican strategist Liz Mair, and two parody accounts: the now-suspended @DevinNunesMom and @DevinCow.

Nunes’s suit claims that Twitter is “shadow-banning” conservatives and conservative content, knowingly hosting abusive content (otherwise known as “Twitter”), ignoring complaints about abusive content, and failing to self-regulate and “thereby selectively amplifying the message of defamers such as Mair, Devin Nunes’ Mom and Devin Nunes’ cow.”

(It also manages to casually toss in that the mean amplified-cow-tweeting “illustrates the desperate and cowardly attempt to manufacture evidence of ‘collusion’ where none exists.” What were we talking about again?)
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2019/03/22/devin-nunes-sues-twitter-and-internet-has-cow/kmmEZGuXITWxOIFwRkHf9N/story.html




Yes, Mr. Nunes, please don’t have a cow. But even better is that Stephen Colbert managed to get in on the trolling by owning Devin with just a two word tweet. Yes, you heard that correctly, they can be owned in just two words, that’s how thin their skins are. I mean really guys, time to grow up!

A lawsuit by Republican Rep. Devin Nunes, aimed at Twitter and some of its users for alleged defamation and negligence, has led to a huge spike in followers for one of the parody accounts he targeted. Now, late night host Stephen Colbert has taken it a step further by creating another parody account aimed at the Republican California congressman.

The $250 million lawsuit mentions two anonymous parody accounts, "Devin Nunes' Mom" and "Devin Nunes' Cow."

After the announcement, the Devin Nunes' Cow account went from 1,200 followers on Monday, according to Newsmax, to 278,000 as of late Tuesday night.

Colbert jumped on board Tuesday night and said he had created a new parody account called "Devin Nunes' Skin."

"There’s nothing in Twitter’s terms of service that says you can’t have a parody account. That’s why it is totally legal for us to make @devinnunesskin. This is a real account, an actual account where you can find such announcements as ‘still thin,'" Colbert said.
https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/stephen-colbert-trolls-devin-nunes-with-new-parody-twitter-account/507-30e26abc-978e-486f-b8dc-67438891bad6





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[font size="8"]THIS WEEK IN HATE
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It’s time for:



Conservatives love to project, and whatever they project is not necessarily what the other side is guilty of, it’s what they’re guilty of themselves. Case in point: HATE. And there has been a lot of it going around in the last five years or so. Since we started doing the Top 10. So what we’re going to do instead is compile some of the best, or worst depending on which way you look at it, of some of the talking points going around in the hate radio sphere. If there’s one thing the GOP loves to do, it’s rub salt in the wound. And while we’re all licking our wounds from the Mueller Report, they’re spinning it this way.

Right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video on Friday night in which he celebrated the news that Special Counsel Robert Mueller had delivered his report on Russian interference in the 2016 election to the Justice Department. Despite the fact that nothing was known about the findings of Mueller’s report at the time that Bernstein posted his video, he nonetheless celebrated by donning a party hat, blowing a party horn, drinking a beer … and calling for Hillary Clinton to face the guillotine.

“Liberals of America, are you feeling a little butthurt right now?” he laughed, before slipping into baby talk. “You didn’t get any collusion. Awww, poor babies. All I can say is they called John Gotti the Teflon Don; well, guess what? Donald Trump is the Teflon Don. He’s untouchable, baby! Untouchable.”

After proposing a toast to “every liberal scumbag in America,” Bernstein declared that members of the media should be required to pay back the millions of dollars the government spent on the special counsel investigation or else “should be fined for lying, assassination of character.”

Bernstein then demanded to know whether Attorney General William Barr has the “balls” to go after the people he believes to be the real criminals, such as Hillary Clinton.

“Does Barr have a set of balls or not?” he said. “That’s what we need to find out. Because the real investigations need to start now. We need to see people go down for the crimes that were committed. And Hillary Clinton—you sick, lying, dying witch of a woman—you should be first in line at the guillotines, as far as I’m concerned.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/josh-bernstein-hillary-clinton-should-be-first-in-line-at-the-guillotines/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You know they really are obsessed with other people’s balls aren’t they? And I mean they couldn’t be any more insane. Especially since Rush Limbaugh channeled his inner Alex Jones and suggested that the Christchurch shooting was – wait for it – a false flag! Ooh, oh they love them some false flag analogies don’t they?

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh suggested without evidence on Friday that the attack at two mosques in New Zealand may have been a false flag, sharing "an ongoing theory" that a suspect in the attack "may in fact be a leftist."

"There is an ongoing theory — [producer Bo] Snerdley, correct me if I’m wrong about this — there’s an ongoing theory that the shooter himself may in fact be a leftist who writes the manifesto and then goes out and performs the deed purposely to smear his political enemies, knowing he’s gonna get shot in the process," Limbaugh said on his show. "You can’t immediately discount this."

"The left is this insane. They are this crazy. And if that's exactly what the guy's trying to do then he's hit a home run," the host added before referencing a report on Fox News on a monitor in his studio. "Because right there on Fox News: 'The shooter is an admitted white nationalist who hates immigrants.'"

"You try to absorb all of this to try to keep some sort of an even keel about it," Limbaugh added. "And then from the manifesto again itself, the shooter says he’s not a conservative, not a Christian and that he identifies as an eco-fascist, which would make him a supporter of the Green New Deal. He adds that he disagrees with Trump on politics."
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/434351-limbaugh-suggests-without-evidence-that-new-zealand-attacker-is-a-leftist




That is a good point Taylor! Of course Limbaugh didn’t have any evidence to support his claim. This is the 2019 GOP, facts don’t matter! they also haven’t mattered And in case you’re wondering which side God is on, look no further than our old buddy Dave Daubenmire. Yeah I don’t have to tell you how many times we’ve covered his nonsense in the Top 10 but who buys the shit he’s selling. Well, hopefully no one, if that empty stadium backdrop he preaches in front of is any indication.

On his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire reacted to the news that, according to Attorney General William Barr, Robert Mueller’s special counsel investigation reportedly found no evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia during the 2016 election by declaring that this development shows that “the Lord has his hand on the Trump administration.”

“Do you understand that the entire media, the entire deep state, the CIA, the intelligence agencies, the political parties, all of that has conspired against Donald Trump and they failed?” Daubenmire said. “Do you understand the magnitude? Don’t you understand that there is some type of hedge, some type of protection around Donald Trump?”

Daubenmire said that despite the fact that “all the powers of hell” had come together to take down Trump, they couldn’t do it.

“All of those forces couldn’t find anything,” he said. “Oh, Mueller probably found he cheated on his taxes and they probably found that he had other women. They probably found some stuff on him, but the reality of it is their intention was to overthrow the American government. All the forces of darkness [attempted] to overthrow the American government … and here we stand two and a half years later and they failed!”

“The Lord has his hand on the Trump administration and I can’t explain it and I don’t know why,” Daubenmire concluded.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-mueller-report-shows-the-lord-has-his-hand-on-the-trump-administration/




Now this is the type of thing that I would save for Holy Shit, but our pastor is far busier with other matters! Well, this week, anyway. And by the way, in case you’re wondering where this is all headed, just look none other than conspiracy theorist and haggard middle school band teacher who just got off his shift, Frank Gaffney, whose manifesto sounds just like that of serial killers or active shooters everywhere. What? No, that’s not a good thing! Why can’t conspiracy theories ever be used for good things?

Frank Gaffney, executive chairman of the anti-Muslim hate group Center for Security Policy, joined Breitbart News editor-in-chief Alex Marlow this morning on SiriusXM Patriot’s “Breitbart News Daily.” Less than a week after the Christchurch massacre, he resumed his scaremongering that Muslims are trying to take over their societies—something expressed repeatedly in portions of the Christchurch terrorist’s alleged manifesto.

“You cannot assimilate vast numbers of people who simply don’t want to be part of your society. They want to transform it into something very different and ultimately at some point you either resist or you submit,” Gaffney said. “Submission is going to be pretty ugly, and it’s happening in parts of Europe already.”

He continued, “It’s not simply a problem in its own right, it’s a foretaste of what the Ilhan Omars and the Keith Ellisons and the André Carsons, Rashida Tlaibs and so on, would have in mind for America, too, if they had their way. This is the really vexing problem of our time.”

Marlow addressed the “Soros-funded freaks” listening to the program, and said that by acknowledging that there are Muslims who don’t want to implement Sharia law in the U.S. they were clear of charges of promoting bigotry. Gaffney had just said that there are Muslims who don’t want to impose Sharia law in America but that “enough of them do” that it needs to be confronted.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/frank-gaffney-sounds-a-lot-like-the-christchurch-shooters-manifesto/




That’s it for:




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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Free Speech On Campus
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 investigates!



Free speech on campus. Is it under attack? The president of the United States seems to think so and his alarmist and extremist nature would seem to think that it is that way. But in reality, to use one of his favorite phrases, it’s a colossal nothing burger. Free speech is not under attack, people are free to say as they please. But if they start spewing bile and hatred, they will have something bad happen to them, it’s just human nature. Ask Michael Jackson. But what is their underlying motive? Why do they all of a sudden care about this issue when they didn’t 5 years ago? The answer is a lot more complex than you might think.

Exactly a year ago, at a forum for millennial Republicans at the White House, President Trump was asked by Charlie Kirk, the founder of the conservative youth group Turning Point USA, what he made of recent controversies involving the free-speech rights of conservatives on college campuses. “You go to the real campuses, and you go all over the country, you go out to the Middle West, you go out even to the coast in many cases, we have tremendous support,” he replied breezily, brushing off the purported crisis.“I would say we have majority support. I think it’s highly overblown. Highly overblown.”

He has since been better at sticking to the script. In a White House ceremony on Thursday afternoon, Trump signed an executive order barring colleges that are deemed unduly restrictive of free speech from receiving federal funds—a move that was previewed in the President’s speech to this year’s CPAC conference, earlier this month, and in a tweet that he posted in early 2017, in response to protests that had broken out at U.C. Berkeley over a scheduled appearance by the right-wing agitator Milo Yiannopoulos: “If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view - NO FEDERAL FUNDS?”

“Under the guise of speech codes, safe spaces, and trigger warnings,” Trump said on Thursday, “these universities have tried to restrict free thought, impose total conformity, and shut down the voices of great young Americans like those here today. All of that changes starting right now.”

One of the young Americans who was invited to speak at the signing ceremony was Ellen Wittman, of Miami University in Ohio, who had run a pro-life group on campus. “Universities are supposed to be marketplaces of ideas,” she said solemnly during her turn at the lectern. “They should be encouraging free speech, not shutting it down.”
https://www.newyorker.com/news/current/trumps-free-speech-executive-order-and-the-rights-fixation-with-campus-politics




Except that they probably don’t. Conservative attacks on campus free speech have nothing to do with safe spaces or “trigger warnings”. They have everything to do with hate, and spreading white nationalist ideals, much of which had been shut down decades ago. But what happens when campuses start shunning ideals that they do not see as pure? One only has to look as far as the president’s favorite university, Liberty University, to see how far this goes.

When President Trump issued an executive order last week dealing with campus free speech, he was joined by conservative students who complained their rights had been trampled by liberal censorship.

One of the earliest backers of the Trump executive order was Liberty University president Jerry Falwell Jr., who has frequently called out the alleged "silencing" of conservative college students.

“The president is right to stop our government from handing out taxpayer dollars to subsidize institutions that practice censorship -- regardless of whether that censorship is used against those on the left or the right,” he wrote in a Fox News opinion column earlier this month.

No college president is more closely identified with the president than Falwell, who invited Trump to give a 2017 commencement address at Liberty and has frequently attacked the president’s critics in the media and on Twitter. He’s also claimed unique credentials on campus speech, having declared in the past that Liberty promotes free expression “unlike many major universities where political correctness prevents conservative students from speaking out.”
https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2019/03/25/jerry-falwell-key-trump-ally-falls-short-big-talk-free-speech-critics-say




Yes, Liberty University has been actively censoring opposing opinions, and it is the stuff of pure evil, but that’s what they want. It’s all about power and they want absolute power. And they’re going to get it if they have to make the rest of us miserable. But this is igniting a debate that no one really wants to talk about but we must. How far is too far to go for free speech? They are certainly testing the limits.

In a move that appeared aimed at what some view as a growing trend of political correctness on college campuses, President Trump signed an executive order Thursday to bar federal research grants to institutions that don't "avoid creating environments that stifle competing perspectives."

The president promised earlier this month at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) that he would do something about what he called a political climate on liberal college campuses that chills discourse. His executive order conditions research funding on "compliance with the First Amendment" and directs federal agencies to ensure that institutions receiving federal research or education grants "promote free inquiry."

During the signing ceremony at the White House, Trump specifically called out "professors and power structures" that keep young Americans from "challenging rigid far-left ideology," and lamented that many universities have become "increasingly hostile" to free speech.

"We will not stand idly by and allow public institutions to violate their students' constitutional rights," Trump said. "If a college or university doesn't allow you to speak, we will not give them money. It's very simple."
https://www.npr.org/2019/03/22/705739383/trump-and-universities-in-fight-over-free-speech-federal-research-funding




Yes except that what the president doesn’t know is that universities already *HAVE* to adhere to first amendment standards or they will lose funding. And here’s the thing too – you can get up in a room and literally say anything. That doesn’t mean that people will pay attention to what you have to say, nor will they care. But what is this really about? It’s about power and hate. The power to hate.

President Donald Trump gleefully pressed on another culture war hot button Thursday afternoon, issuing an executive order that’s supposed to address allegedly serious threats to free speech on America’s college campuses.

The order itself does very little in practical terms: As my colleague Ella Nilsen explains, it basically amounts to reminding universities about existing law. But that doesn’t mean the order is insignificant.

It reflects, instead, the degree to which the conservative movement, joined by a few prominent anti–political correctness crusaders, has created a panic about the limitation of free speech on college campuses — as Trump demonstrated in his signing statement for the order.

“Under the guise of speech codes and safe spaces and trigger warnings, these universities have tried to restrict free thought, impose total conformity, and shut down the voices of great young Americans,” he said.
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/21/18275839/trump-free-speech-executive-order-turning-point-usa




That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Tampa, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know, we live in troubled times right now. But the question remains clear – who is really in charge? And why should we be praying for them? Now I may be forming an independent thought among the pastor community, but I think that prayers must be earned, and they must be going for good and not evil. Of course, those on the right believe that they are doing the work of the good LAWRD JAYSUS! But when you think about it, iron fist authoritarianism really goes against the good LAWRD’s doing. Or does it?

Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s right-wing president, visited President Trump in the White House on Tuesday and followed up his official business with a Christian Broadcasting Network interview and meeting with conservative religious leaders, including CBN’s Pat and Gordon Robertson. U.S. right-wing leaders had supported Bolsonaro’s campaign and celebrated his election as an answer to prayer.

At a Rose Garden press conference with Trump, Bolsonaro said, “Brazil and the United States stand side-by-side in their efforts to ensure liberties and respect the traditional family lifestyles and respect to God, our creator, against the gender ideology and the politically correct attitudes and against fake news.” (Trump said he was proud that Bolsonaro was using the term “fake news.”)

Bolsonaro told CBN correspondent George Thomas that his election was a “huge miracle” given that so much of the media was against him. Bolsonaro said he agrees with much of what Trump does, and in addition to that, “we are both Christians and are God-fearing men.”

CBN noted that Bolsonaro “has surrounded himself with well-known Brazilian evangelicals,” including influential pastor Silas Milafaia, who told CBN he believes Bolsonaro is God’s chosen man to lead Brazil. He praised Bolsonaro for opposing abortion and the “privilege” of the LGBT movement.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/brazils-bolsonaro-calls-election-a-miracle-sides-with-trump/




Yes, so our slide toward authoritarianism continues! Because it’s getting weird out there and it’s not just America, but fundamentalists around the world are celebrating the rise of fascism and dictatorship! Now is that a good thing? It most certainly is not!!! And by the way, where does support for these wannabe dictators come from? Well, you might be surprised!

In the 2016 presidential election, exit polling tells us, about 8 out of 10 white evangelicals who voted pulled the lever for Donald Trump. This information came as a disappointment to many and, to some, as further indication of the moral hypocrisy of white evangelicals.

Those who promote “family values,” espouse equality for all people and stand for biblical ethics chose to embrace a man whose words and actions often place him as the antithesis of all that evangelicalism supposedly represents.

The enthusiasm of white evangelical voters did not dissipate after the election, either. Throughout an administration rife with scams, grift and bigotry, this voting bloc has remained the most loyal to the president. But Trump’s white evangelical base shows signs of weakening.

A recently released report from the Pew Research Center shows that white evangelical support for the president has slipped but it remains strong.
https://religionnews.com/2019/03/19/white-evangelical-support-for-trump-comes-from-churchgoers-not-einos/




And that is most certainly true! By the way, my fair congregation, we’re going to go global here for a minute and just expand on this. I mean… how do people like the Dark One and the Brazillian Dark One get elected? What is fueling this rise in hate and oppression all over the world and which the great United States is not immune from?

For months, Father José Alberto Idiáquez has received threats on Twitter, on WhatsApp and in phone calls. The aggressors say that the Jesuit university he runs in Nicaragua’s capital supports a coup against the government and that he has been inciting his students to protest.

On any given day, dozens — and sometimes hundreds — of armed police and paramilitary surround Universidad Centroamericana in Managua. They have been deployed to intimidate him and others, said Idiáquez, the rector.

Idiáquez has loudly condemned longtime President Daniel Ortega’s violent crackdown against a civil uprising that began last April and has led to more than 300 deaths and 2,000 injuries, according to the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, mostly at the hands of national police and paramilitary gunmen. Many of Idiáquez’s students are opposition activists, and he has participated in marches himself and offered the campus as shelter for those fleeing gunfire.

“When you see them killing people, you have an obligation to protect someone who is defenseless,” he said in a phone interview.

As a result, he is now a target himself.
https://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-nicaragua-priests-20190325-story.html




Holy shit!!! Why yes, that is the name of this segment good sir! So… if you speak up, the trolls will come after you. It’s almost like a virus has been introduced in the matrix. I mean we could go all day on this topic. Why do evangelicals support the most unholy Dark One? He is the original deadly sin, he is all seven of them combined!!! And that in the eyes of the LAWRD shall not stand!!! Let’s ask an actual Christian scholar, shall we?

Seventy-one percent.

That’s the percentage of white evangelicals, according to a recent Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) poll, who still say they approve of Donald Trump’s presidency. That figure is down just 3 percent from April.

In the intervening months, Trump’s controversial migrant family separation plan scandalized faith groups by taking undocumented children from their families at the US-Mexico border, and several prominent evangelicals, including Franklin Graham, spoke out against the policy. But that seems to have figured little into evangelicals’ assessment of Trump overall.

Why do white evangelicals still support Trump in such strong numbers? And what will that mean for the upcoming midterms? I spoke to John Fea, a historian of American religion at Messiah College in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, and author of Believe Me: the Evangelical Road to Donald Trump, about how Trump has galvanized his Christian base and about the “court evangelicals” who have traded their traditional moral ethos for access to one of the most powerful men in the world.
https://www.vox.com/2018/11/5/18059454/trump-white-evangelicals-christian-nationalism-john-fea




There you have it, even the good LAWRD is facepalming at the fact that his followers support rising dictators. Mass has ended, may you go in peace!! That’s it this week for:




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Conservatives have been upping their ante in the quest to start some violence against Trump’s opposition, especially now that the Mueller Report has come back as a nothing burger. Or nothing berder, depending on which way you look at it. For the first time since the mid 1850s, conservatives have been beating the possibility of a civil war against liberals and anyone who dares oppose their tyrannical path. So just how insane has it got? Well let’s ask everyone’s favorite, openly racist Iowa representative, Steve King.

A thistle to Rep. Steve King for sharing a Facebook post boasting red states would “win” a fight against blue states — and that they have “8 trillion bullets.”

King, whose appetite for public attention apparently can never be satiated, could earn himself a thistle nearly each week for his social media posts and remarks. He has long made Iowa a national embarrassment.

“Wonder who would win…” the Iowa Republican wrote in his post with a photo depicting Democratic-leaning states engaged in a fight with Republican-leaning states. “Folks keep talking about another civil war. One side has about 8 trillion bullets, while the other side doesn’t know which bathroom to use,” he wrote, apparently referencing gender-neutral bathrooms.

More: The Register's editorial: Steve King should resign for the good of Iowa

The Iowa congressman was stripped of committee assignments by House Republicans following remarks he made that were sympathetic to white supremacy. Making light of violence in this country, particularly gun violence, is yet another low. Hopefully voters in the 4th District will next year strip him of his congressional platform by finally booting him from office.
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/opinion/editorials/2019/03/21/steve-king-civil-war-gop-kim-reynolds-grassley-joni-ernst-immigration-wall-devos-school-vouchers/3205721002/




He’s actually… probably not wrong there. They might actually have 8 trillion bullets. We don’t know, we don’t know! And Steve King wasn’t the only guy who beat the Civil War drums this week – there was also the guy who we currently call president! Yes, remember his “Bikers For Trump” comment a couple of weeks ago? That didn’t age well!

Authoritarianism is a slip and a slide, inch by inch, as a leader slowly backs an SUV over the republic of which citizens handed him control. The goal is to move the window of what is acceptable to talk about slowly but decisively, until what you talked about becomes something that can be done. It might feel like the same old thing over and over, but there are new elements each time, a new outrage to digest until it becomes an old outrage and, ultimately, a part of life.

This has been a banner week for democratic backsliding. On Wednesday, Donald Trump, American president, gave an interview to Breitbart, the once-prominent right-wing content machine that was caught laundering white-nationalist propaganda into the mainstream. In the interview, he hits a familiar refrain—but ratchets things up a notch.

Leave aside, for a moment, the scattergun syntax and the deeply preposterous idea the Republican Benghazi Party doesn't like itself a congressional investigation. This is the real deal: Here is the president hinting his political opposition could be met with force if "they go to a certain point." What is the "certain point"? Impeachment? Defeating him in the 2020 presidential election? Merely continuing to investigate him in Congress?

He mentions Bikers for Trump, implying there are civilian groups who could use violence to protect him. This sounds familiar, and armed civilians have already taken to the streets, chanting his name and attacking people. He mentions police, who are tasked with keeping order in those streets, but whom he believes would back him in some nonspecific—but clearly defined—confrontation.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26827290/bikers-for-trump-military-political-violence-president/




So never mind that Trump has his own army of heavily trained guards that protects him called, I don’t know, the Secret Service. Trump would rather have untrained, extremely pissed off yes men carrying out violent acts against his opponents. Yeah, let’s let that one sink in for a minute! And you know, in the words of the Simpsons’ Kent Brockman, who knows what spark will set off this powder keg?

Political analyst and legendary Watergate journalist Carl Berstein suggested President Donald Trump was sparking a “civil cold war” during his appearance on CNN’s Cuomo Prime Time on Friday.

Bernstein’s claim came following host Chris Cuomo’s proposal that Republicans and Trump’s base were unfazed by Michael Cohen’s claims that the president is a liar, racist and a cheat during his testimony to Congress earlier in the week.

“We are in a cold civil war in this country, and Trump has brought that cold civil war and every day brings it closer and closer to ignition,” Bernstein said. “And that is the great danger because everything he does plays to this base that is his way of staying in office, if he can stay in office and be re-elected.”

He added: “It’s all about that base. It’s not about uniting the American people as most previous presidents have tried to put together some kind of coalition with people in the center. Trump has made no attempt to do that.”
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-civil-war-bernstein-1349765




No, no, there’s no great battle here, Gramps. Just a bunch of mudflinging, name calling and hate being spewed back and forth on your favorite social media outlets. At least we can rest easier, despite the rhetoric and hate being turned up to 11, it’s really only a cold war. Don’t expect those 8 trillion bullets to be flying or bombs being dropped any time soon.

Are Americans separated into two irreconcilable partisan sides that instinctively love their fellow Democrats or Republicans but hate those in the other camp? This view, increasingly popular since the 2016 election, can leave the impression that partisans are unmovable by facts and logic, that they no longer want to associate with anyone on the other side, or that they would readily follow their leaders into battle against fellow citizens.

It is not a total myth. There is a real rise in negative partisanship: partisans rate the other party less favorably, reporting increasingly cold feelings. But when answering questions about the parties, citizens are thinking more about elites like Presidents Trump or Obama than about voters such as their own relatives. Negative partisanship is more closely tied to dislike of politicians than voter groups, though perceptions of voters in the other party are also negative. Many dislike both parties’ leaders and just find their own party more tolerable than the opposition.

When asked to explain what they dislike about the other party, voters mention its leaders a lot more than its voters. Even when voters do think of politics as a conflict between social groups, they usually discuss what groups are likely to benefit from each party’s policies (most commonly, Democrats saying Republicans are out to help the rich or hurt the middle class) rather than their disdain for the other half of the country.

The other dramatic indicator driving concern is the increasing number of partisans saying they would not approve of a child marrying someone from the other party. But one study found that many people disapprove of marriages to people described as either Democrats or Republicans because they expect partisans of either stripe to talk too much about politics. People also may express dislike of the other side as a form of team fandom — and in fact, Yankees and Red Sox fans also sometimes voice disapproval of their child marrying a fan of the wrong team.
https://www.salon.com/2019/03/25/no-civil-war-coming-believe-it-or-not-political-tribalism-in-america-is-overstated/





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



I don’t know if you saw the Florida Man challenge this week, but because of that, and the fact that we’re in Florida, we’re doing a special all Florida man edition of “People Are Dumb”, because, you know why, audience! Thank you. And yes, at the end of this segment, we’ll reveal the dumb thing that Florida Man did on December 5th, the day of the Top 10’s anniversary. But I want to start with this minor league team out of Jacksonville, which is affiliated with the Miami Marlins. They’re called the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimps, and they are planning what may be one of my favorite baseball promotions of all time – because it’s Florida Man. Well, the Jumbo Shrimp are planning a Florida Man themed night and it is going to be truly magical.

When your team is named the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, you’re clearly not opposed to pushing the envelope to have a little fun. The latest example is a “Florida Man” promotional night where the Miami Marlins’ Double-A affiliate will “attempt to break a weird Florida law every inning.”

The game on July 26 will be sponsored by a law office and pays homage to all the wacky crimes that emerge from our beloved state.

The Jumbo Shrimp — yes, that’s their real oxymoronic name; they changed it after more than 50 years as the Jacksonville Suns — have not announced which specific laws they will break.

I mean, why tip off the fuzz, right?

This promotion has already gotten the team national attention from the likes of ESPN, Sports Illustrated and CBS.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/miami-marlins/fl-sp-florida-man-night-jacksonvillle-jumbo-shrimp-20190320-story.html


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So that out of the way, let’s go to this story out of Seminole County, that’s Orlando don’t you know, where this guy robbed a liquor store wearing a Spiderman mask. But hey Spiderman is supposed to be a good guy! And I know that multiple Spiderman universes exist thanks to Into The Spiderverse, but really, come on, we need to do better people!!!

A liquor store just north of Orlando got a visit from Spider-Man back in January, only this web-slinger wasn’t of the friendly neighborhood variety.

Deputies said he’s the man who broke into Winn-Dixie Wine and Spirits in Casselberry, FL, wearing a Spider-Man mask to steal alcohol and cigarettes.

Deputy Bruce Milne responded to the burglary report. He immediately caught a break while reviewing surveillance footage.

The suspect first tried to open the store’s door without a mask on.

“To me, it was just a matter of absolute surprise that he would walk up to the door first, try to break in, and then it starts clicking in his head, ’Oh, I might get recognized if I do this without a mask on,’” Milne said.

Investigators said Wilburn went to a nearby thrift store where he found the Spider-Man mask.
https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-dons-Spider-Man-mask-during-liquor-store-burglary-507385931.html




That is true! Next up, we go to Milton, Florida for this story. Look, I love a good fast food rage story, you know that. And hey when you’re drunk and you’re craving one food and can’t shake that craving, sure, I know what that is like! When you’re drunk, you got to have that one food and nothing else will satisfy you. But don’t bring violence into it, that is a no no.

A Florida man has been arrested and charged with battery after he allegedly pushed a woman who wouldn’t let him into her house to eat egg rolls.

Police in Milton, Florida, have said in an offense report that the suspect, 44-year-old Keith Johnson, arrived at the victim’s house drunk, demanding to come in so that he could eat the Chinese foodstuff.

ABC affiliate WEARTV reported that Johnson kept ringing the doorbell despite the complainant repeatedly telling him she wasn’t going to let him in and didn’t want him in her home.

The victim claimed eventually that she said she would come out to give Johnson the egg rolls, which were inside the home. It is at this point, when she opened the door, that he shoved her inside.
https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-shoved-woman-because-he-wanted-eat-egg-rolls-her-house-claims-she-1370734




Oh that clip is a classic! Next up, we go to Gainesville for this one. That’s the home of the Florida Gators, don’t you know? Well here’s the thing, impersonating an officer *NEVER* ends well especially for you, and especially if you happen to come across an actual police officer. So this happened.

The latest Florida Man tale: A Deltona man impersonating a police officer uses a public warning system on a real cop.

A Deltona man playing policeman caught up to a real one and used an illegal public address system and lights to warn a sheriff’s sergeant driving an unmarked vehicle in Pierson, Volusia sheriff’s officials said.

Shortly after that, Sgt. Todd Smith turned on his real blue lights and pulled over Thomas Farmer, 64.

Farmer was arrested on Tuesday and charged with impersonating a law enforcement officer, a third-degree felony.

When the sergeant investigated the incident further, he learned that Thomas had previously been warned twice by deputies to stop using his horn, loudspeakers and lights, as his behavior is consistent with impersonating a police officer, his arrest report shows.
https://www.gainesville.com/news/20190320/oh-florida-man-playing-policeman-never-ends-well-for-you/2




And let’s not forget that in Florida, the ladies can be just as crazy as the men are! Why does this story remind me of the scene at the beginning of Super Troopers where the stoners are discussing who owns the water in a beach property? We go to Melbourne (Florida, not Australia) for this story.

A Melbourne fisherman says he regularly fishes along State Road A1A, south of the Sebastian Inlet, and has done so without incident for 20-some years.

Until Saturday.

That’s when Jose Ortiz told WPEC-TV 12 News that Joyce Khatibi, who owns property nearby in Vero Beach, started yelling at him from a dock and aimed a hose in his direction. She told him he can’t fish at his favorite spot anymore, “because she owns the water.”

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called and Ortiz was initially asked to leave when they looked at online property records. But a follow-up look at the records showed that Khatibi’s property line didn’t extend into the water, WPEC found.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228227534.html




Finally this week, even Florida animals are crazy! The animals!!!!! Why is my voice so high? Anyway, if there’s one thing that I learned from the movie Up, it’s that squirrels are dicks. And if you do come into contact with one, get the nearest attack dog on it, but if you don’t have one, run! But this story seriously has everything. We go to Sarasota for this story.

“Frickin squirrel attacked me,” Robby Armstrong posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, a day after the rodent bit him. His security cameras caught the attack, one Armstrong said was not unusual in the neighborhood.

The squirrel, which he said was raised by his neighbors when it was a baby and then released, bit other residents. Among the other bite victims of the aggressive rodent: Armstrong’s stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it, News Channel 8 reported.

Armstrong had enough, he posted. “I chased him around and shot him with a BB gun about 10 times but he is still alive so be on the lookout for a crazy squirrel.”

On Wednesday, Armstrong told the Miami Herald he was “fine” and that the squirrel “is still roaming around.”
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228166959.html




Oh and in case you’re wondering what our Florida Man Challenge story is, it’s Florida Man Arrested For Going Shopping After Job Interview. Florida Man, you’re the best. Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s it this week for our special all Florida Man edition of:




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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Welcome back to round 1 week 3 of our action action action! Last week it was some great stuff as Mississippi knocked out conference favorite Indiana in a double overtime shocker to advance to the Family Values conference championship. Meanwhile, Wisconsin routed longtime Fiscal Irresponsibility conference favorites Nevada to advance to the conference championship! This week we are in Salt Lake City for all the week 3 action as Wisconsin will find out their Elite 8 opponent as favorite Michigan takes on hot newcomer Alaska! In our second matchup this week, it’s a Gun Nut duel to the death as two juggernauts of this conference – last year’s champion Florida will duke it out with longtime favorite Montana to advance to the Elite 8. Let’s break out those brackets and follow along!

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[font size="4"]Michigan Vs Alaska[/font]

[font size="4"]Michigan[/font]


Michigan is no stranger to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. As one of the most populous states in the Rust Belt, Michigan also has a ton of rural areas, and with rural areas comes rural politics, and the rural areas always tend to select the craziest politicians. Well, when you elect shitty politicians, as Michigan has done time and time again, you’re going to get some really shitty laws and policies, such as those that affected the city of Flint. Now in 3 years you would think that the city of Flint would be back to some level of normalcy, but guess what? They’re not! In fact they actually have celebrities helping them because the mayor wont!

Jaden Smith is helping the residents of Flint, Michigan, through a new initiative. The rapper, actor and co-founder of the eco-friendly company JUST Water has partnered with a local Flint church to deploy a mobile water treatment system.

The system is called "The Water Box" and it filters out lead and additional contaminants in water, according to a press release.

Flint's water crisis began in April 2014 after the city's water source was switched from the Detroit River to the Flint River, which resulted in city-wide lead contamination of public drinking water. First Trinity Missionary Baptist Church in Flint has been on the front line of the battle to restore drinkable water in the city. The church has also given out more than 5 million bottles of water to local residents.

In 2018, the free bottled water program set up by the state was ended under former Gov. Rick Snyder. However, a recent announcement by newly appointed Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer states that the program will be reinstated . Bottle donations for the city have declined and accessing clean water continues to be an issue, which is why JUST Water stepped in to assist, according to a release.
https://www.abc15.com/entertainment/jaden-smith-is-helping-fix-the-flint-water-crisis-with-his-companys-mobile-lead-filtration-system




Well that’s a good point! So that happened. But really how is the Flint Water Crisis still a thing? Well, since this is the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, we did decide to do a little digging into Flint’s finances, and well, this happened. Get ready to boo.

The mayor of Flint, Michigan is set to receive a large pay raise after a chaotic city council meeting in which at least one member pushed back given the ongoing water crisis.

Flint Mayor Karen Weaver may get paid 36 percent more on her next taxpayer-paid paycheck, seeing her pay increase from $91,801 to $125,000 annually along with much smaller pay bumps for all other members of the city council. Several members of the Flint city council in attendance Friday were confused about when pay raises would take place or if it was even possible to table the timely matter, MLive.com first reported. A few members of the council said they did not support the pay raises given the city's ongoing water crisis problems, but a pair of others took no issue with the increase.

First Ward councilman Eric Mays defended the mayor's pay raise in a phone conversation with Newsweek Monday, saying not to "make it personal" and that the mayor's office as a whole is worth even more than $125,000.

"I wouldn't care if it was $150,000...the office is administering and making decisions with corporations in a pool of millions, tens of millions of dollars, and we [the council members] are only looking at a net gain of about $1,000...I'm not tripping over $125,000 salary.
https://www.newsweek.com/flint-michigan-mayor-pay-raise-karen-weaver-water-crisis-increase-chaos-1374692




[font size="4"]Alaska[/font]


Alaska is a first timer in the tournament. They had a very strong regular season and finished near the top of this conference. You know if you’ve been following environmental news, oil companies for a long time have been trying to ravage Alaska’s nature preserves for that precious, precious crude. To the point where it’s affecting the state big time. In fact there’s that huge new pipeline being planned to the Gulf Of Alaska, and the person who is in charge of it is Alaska governor Mike Dunleavy. Who probably shouldn’t be trusted with $43 billion. Hell, he probably shouldn’t be trusted with $43.

It’s the $43 billion question for Gov. Mike Dunleavy: What to do with the Alaska LNG megaproject?

For now, the new governor wants to learn more about it before setting a course.

“(Dunleavy) will withhold judgment on this or any project until he and his administration can fully understand the costs, risks, and potential benefits," said Brett Huber, his senior policy adviser.

The plan involves building an 800-mile pipeline that would be used to ship North Slope gas to Nikiski, where a plant would liquefy it for shipment to Asian buyers. Dunleavy’s gas line adviser during the gubernatorial transition, former Gov. Sean Parnell, believes the complicated project should keep advancing until it wins federal approval.
https://www.adn.com/business-economy/energy/2018/12/15/dunleavy-weighs-fate-of-43-billion-gas-line-plan/




Yes, clap for Alaska! Do it!!!! So I think this might sum up the financial state that the state of Alaska is in, and this might be the most Alaska story ever. What happens when you’re the only tenant of a place and you get evicted? Oh and the tenant in question happens to be a cat.

A cat named Stormy that has spent more than six years as a fixture in a remote Alaska general store is being forced out after officials notified the store owners that the cat's presence violates food safety standards.

The Fritz Creek General Store near the small city of Homer has been home for Stormy since 2012, The Homer News reported Thursday.

The slightly overweight black cat often lounges on one of the store's wooden chairs or solicits customers for a scratch on her head.

The state Food Safety and Sanitation Program received a complaint about Stormy and an environmental health officer saw the cat in the store, said Jeremy Ayers, section manager for the agency.

Read more: https://www.valleymorningstar.com/news/strange_news/cat-that-lived-years-in-alaska-general-store-gets-evicted/article_f3c466e0-a914-5f24-b08e-e0b43c18bab1.html




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Oh this was a no brainer, Michigan won Alaska in the first overtime by a score of 10! Final score 77 – 67, they will move on to face Wisconsin.

[font size="4"]Florida Vs Montana[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]


Oh the Sunshine State needs absolutely no introduction. Last year they made a conference change from being in the Batshit Conference, where they were long time members, to being members of the Gun Nut Conference, where they won their first title in years. But last year’s championships had absolutely no rest on their morals because they had a very strong, dominating season that saw them nearly undefeated in this tournament. And that’s pretty strong. So what did Florida do on the one year anniversary of the Parkland shooting? Well we’re not going to talk about that yet. But we will talk about Florida teenagers – yes, even the teenagers are crazy in Florida!

Residents of the Boyette Springs neighborhood in Riverview, Florida, are accustomed to the band of peacocks that has roamed their community for years.

“People will stop and take pictures because it’s a rarity, you don’t see this kind of thing going on anywhere else,” said Karen Coggins, FOX 13 reports.

But neighbors in the Tampa Bay area town say the peacocks have now attracted a new problem: Teens armed with pellet guns, who shoot and kill the birds, according to the TV station.

“My biggest concern is the children in the neighborhood,” said neighbor Amy Johansen, WFLA reports. “If one of those bullets goes and gets them, it just — it would be heartbreaking.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228354744.html




Well, speaking of that, this could provide an insight into how absolutely batshit fucking crazy the Sunshine State is, anyone can get a gun without a permit! Yes, anyone. You read that right. You can just walk into a store and buy a gun, sight unseen. That is an absolutely scary thought.

The shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, which killed 17 people, has put the focus on Florida's gun laws. For instance, the state doesn't require a permit or a license for someone to own a gun.

Here are some facts about the gun laws in the Sunshine State, from the Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence and the National Rifle Association's Institute for Legislative Action:

The right to bear arms is found in the first article of Florida's constitution: "The right of the people to keep and bear arms in defense of themselves and of the lawful authority of the state shall not be infringed..."

You don't need a permit or license to buy a gun, nor do you have to register a firearm.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/15/us/florida-gun-laws-trnd/index.html




[font size="4"]Montana[/font]


Montana is another state that absolutely needs no introduction. They are one of the reigning kings in the Gun Nut Conference. When you have mostly rural areas, no cell phone reception, and a scorching case of boredom, what’s your main source of entertainment? Shooting shit up! Montana loves to shoot the shit, both literally and figuratively! I mean come on, this is the state that elected and reelected body slamming wannabe tough guy Greg Gianforte as its’ only representative. So what is happening in Montana that they need their guns? Well this might be the most Montana story ever.

John Glen Stevens, the former undersheriff of Cascade County, was arrested Thursday in connection with an investigation into the Cascade County Sheriff’s Office (CCSO).

Stevens faces a felony theft charge and was released on his own recognizance.

In December, the Cascade County Attorney’s Office announced the Division of Criminal Investigation (DCI) of the Montana Department of Justice was investigating “financial irregularities” in regards to some purchases made by CCSO employees.

Court documents state an agent was assigned to investigate allegations of theft occurring within the sheriff’s office in August of 2018. The agent found three firearms that had been issued to or were under Stevens’ control during his employment were missing.
https://ktvq.com/news/crime-watch/2019/03/21/montana-ex-lawman-facing-theft-charges-for-keeping-guns-after-he-retired/




And in case you are wondering about Montana’s gun credentials, they are currently in the running as one of the unsafest states in the union. Yes, think about it – Montana has one of the highest concentrations of guns and gun nuts in the country. But they also do not practice gun safety in that state, since they don’t lock ‘em up either.

While 60 percent of Montana households own guns, our state has no law requiring the safe storage of firearms.

As a consequence, thousands of children live in Montana homes with loaded and unlocked firearms.

Children yearly bring firearms to schools or parties and are killed or injured by firearms they should not have accessed. We know that suicide by teens in Montana most often occurs by firearm. These public health tragedies can be reduced by better storage of firearms by adults.

Two laws have been proposed by Reps. Mary Ann Dunwell (House District 84) and Moffie Funk (House District 82) to address this glaring deficiency in Montana firearm law. Currently, these bills (House bills 480 and 477, respectively) are stalled and facing severe Republican opposition.
https://missoulian.com/opinion/letters/unsafe-gun-storage-in-montana/article_6f743442-5ce7-5800-865c-06177998fb14.html




[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

OH MY GOD… Montana has come down to the wire and they’re just behind Florida by a score of 81 – 80, here we go. Montana is coming with the basket… oh, they MISS!!! THEY MISS!!! It’s over, Florida hangs on by one point, they will win and go on to face Oregon! Oh my god, that was nearly the upset of the century there. But Florida moves on to the Elite 8, Montana goes home. Final score 81 – 80.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week, we are done with the 1st round as the Elite 8 is beginning to shape up! It’s getting to be very exciting! For Round 1 Week 4, we’re live at the home of the Oregon Ducks, the Matthew Knight Arena in Eugene, Oregon, and it’s a battle of the Batshit Conference as Georgia takes on Texas to play Kentucky, while Ohio and Alabama battle to play Mississippi in a Family Values faceoff! Stay tuned!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Dirty Heads[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of the foremost bands of summer, you can see them on tour with 311 this summer. Their latest album is called “Swim Team”. Playing their song “Celebrate”, give it up for the Dirty Heads!




Thank you Salt Lake City! We had a great time on this very short tour, we are back home in Anaheim next week. See you next week!

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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 27, 2019, 05:00 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save you 15% or more on your car insurance! We are back everybody! What’s up Atlanta? You guys doing good? It is good to be back here in Hotlanta. Is that still a thing? We hope so, even though it’s below freezing right now. Lousy March weather! And we just left California in time too where I don’t know, it’s 75 degrees and sunny right now. But hey we got shows t to do and crews to feed. Do we have time for the thing? I want to introduce a new segment called “Top 10 Heroes”. And this is my first entry for this segment. It’s short but sweet. That’s how we roll. So you know Fortnite is currently the biggest game in the world. And as such, people have become addicted to it, and when you’re addicted to a game like Fortnite, weird things can happen. It’s sent kids to rehab, there’s been places that have banned it. People have got divorced over it. Although this is my favorite. If you’re Carlos Santa of the Philadelphia Phillies (not to be confused with the other Carlos Santana), you use the resources that are available to you to take your frustrations out on your teammates who were playing the game during games. Yes, he took a baseball bat and smashed a fucking TV in to teach the other Phlilies players a lesson about in game distractions like he was Eli Roth’s character in Inglorious Bastards! So that’s why you don’t play games while you’re playing games! Thank you Mr. Santana, you are our first Top 10 Hero! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses the subject of public shaming with none other than Monica Lewinsky:



Wow, where do we begin this week? Well in the top spot this week is Paul Manafort (1) – the state of New York charged Trump’s former campaign manager with a whopping 16 crimes conspiring to commit treason against the US – meaning that he’s unpardonable. In the second slot this week is Donald Trump (2). Trump didn’t get to enjoy his number one favorite hobby – golfing, so he retreated to his number 2 favorite hobby – angry toilet tweeting! And man he was angry this week! In the third slot this week is something called “Jexodus”. So the GOP is trying to take the Jewish vote away from the Democratic party and it’s backfiring on them big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is Boeing (3) – who’s responsible for the 737 Max 8 fiasco? Well many could point fingers at Trump, and we’ve got some evidence to prove it! In the number 5 slot this week, we got to talk about the epic College Cheating Scandal that has many celebrities and the uber-rich now in the spotlight after it’s learned that cheating is rampant among the rich. For the 6th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to talk some pot. So New Mexico could be the first state in the nation to have legalized, state run marijuana shops, and we will do some due diligence on these and what it will be like once it passes. For the number 7 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Catholic Church, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do over your defense of Pete Davidson’s SNL joke. Our resident pastor will examine both sides of the argument! In the 7th slot this week, we have a new “How Is This Still A Thing”? And you might not be aware of a band called “JD & The Straight Shot”, but after dropping their latest album, which bombed, and not being booked for any gigs any time soon, how are they still a thing? For the 8th slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!!!!”. And this is social media gone berserk – really stop taking pictures and Instagramming your restaurant bathroom experience. Some things were not meant to be documented, stop it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course people are dumb. And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State continues! It’s Round 1 Week 2 and we’re live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, for the action! It’s a rematch of last year as Nevada’s gambling industry goes for broke against Wisconsin, while Alabama faces off against Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown! Plus we’ve got some live music from The Struts! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Paul Manafort
[br] [/font]
[br] BO

We need some music for this one!



You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get? Another day in prison and deeper in debt… St. Donny don’t you call me cause I can’t go… I owe my soul to the Russian store! Doesn’t have the same ring to it, but in case you’re wondering, something that slipped from the cracks in the news last week – Paul Manafort got buuuuuuuuuuuusted!!! And guess what? That number means that Trump can’t pardon him, and let’s face it – we all knew he was going to. Or maybe he’ll just call Manafort a stupid loser and move on, honestly after that insane tweet storm last week it’s hard to tell where he stands. So what is Manafort guilty of?

Paul J. Manafort, President Trump’s former campaign chairman, has been charged in New York with mortgage fraud and more than a dozen other state felonies, the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., said Wednesday, an effort to ensure he will still face prison time if Mr. Trump pardons him for his federal crimes.

News of the indictment came shortly after Mr. Manafort was sentenced to his second federal prison term in two weeks; he now faces a combined sentence of more than seven years for tax and bank fraud and conspiracy in two related cases brought by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III.

The president has broad power to issue pardons for federal crimes, but has no such authority in state cases.

While Mr. Trump has not said he intends to pardon his former campaign chairman, he has often spoken of his power to pardon and has defended Mr. Manafort on a number of occasions, calling him a “brave man.”

Later on Wednesday, the president said, “I feel very badly for Paul Manafort,” and that he had “not thought about” a pardon for him.

The new state charges against Mr. Manafort are contained in a 16-count indictment that alleges a yearlong scheme in which he falsified business records to obtain millions of dollars in loans, Mr. Vance said in a news release after the federal sentencing.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/13/nyregion/manafort-indictment.html




That’s right – we got him!!!! You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get??? Damn that sure is catchy isn’t it? I mean that’s my Tennessee Ernie Ford chunk right there. Yeah we’re keeping up with what the kids like, aren’t we? OK getting back on topic. What is Paul Manafort actually charged with? And you might be outraged that Mr. Manafort only got a slap on the wrist a couple of weeks ago, but if one court doesn’t get him, the other one will!

The Manhattan District Attorney's office on Wednesday unsealed an indictment of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, shortly after he was sentenced in a case in a federal court in D.C.

According to the indictment, Manafort was charged with a total of 16 counts in the state of New York, including residential mortgage fraud and other state crimes, and if convicted on all charges could face between just over eight years and 25 years in prison, according to New York state law. The indictment was returned by a grand jury in Manhattan last week but announced on Wednesday moments after Manafort was sentenced to 73 months of imprisonment for illegal foreign lobbying and witness tampering in his D.C. case.

In November, Trump told the New York Post that though a pardon for Manafort had never been discussed, he "wouldn't take it off the table." With the New York District Attorney's charges, even if President Trump pardons Manafort, he still faces a criminal case on the new state charges. Mortgage fraud is not a crime under federal law and therefore there is no double jeopardy issue.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/paul-manafort-charged-york-mortgage-fraud-york-state/story?id=61657439




Allow me to finish that sentence, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, and a few friends and enemies, the Donald J. Trump administration would like to tell you to go fuck yourself, while at the same time reminding you to MAGA because we need that daily reminder. So now Manafort’s original sentence has been doubled to 7.5 years. How many more years can he get?

It would be hard to think of a more damaging day for a President than one on which his former campaign chairman disappeared behind bars for years to come. But Paul Manafort's new sentence was the least of Donald Trump's worries Wednesday as his Russia investigation nightmare took yet another turn for the worse.

New suspicions about dangled pardons, conflicting congressional testimony, implicit pleas for clemency and fresh suggestions of inappropriate presidential behavior delivered a new twist to the drama with Washington already on edge in anticipation of special counsel Robert Mueller's final report.
A new firestorm erupted over disputed assertions that ex-acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker did not deny in a closed congressional meeting that he had spoken with President Donald Trump about a case involving Trump's ex-lawyer Michael Cohen.

CNN reported explosive new revelations involving Cohen's allegation that a pardon had been dangled in exchange for him staying loyal to the President, in which he was purportedly told he could be sure he had "friends in high places."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/14/politics/russia-investigation-paul-manafort-michael-cohen-matt-whitaker/index.html




Oh I’ve got friends in high places, where they drink diet cokes and chase subpoenas, to avoid doing hard time, because I can’t think of anything else that rhymes… Yeah you know that feeling you get when you log onto Twitter or Facebook after not being on it all day and then you see something weird trending and you don’t know what it is? It’s kind of like that. But this scenario is more of that thing that action movies do where a character shows up to warn the other characters about how the bad guy is coming and he’s going to kill us all. Yeah Thanos is coming! This is like that but for Trump’s buddies.

The indictment of Paul Manafort by New York state prosecutors on Wednesday is a shot across the bow of the presidency — a warning and possible harbinger of future prosecutions of Donald Trump’s associates, children and even the man himself by the state.

Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. strongly implied the purpose of the prosecution: It was undertaken to ensure that Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, would serve prison time even if the president were to pardon him of the federal charges to which he has now been convicted. “No one is beyond the law in New York,” Vance said in a news release announcing the indictment.

The timing was directly coordinated with Manafort’s second federal sentencing, in which a judge in Washington increased his prison time to seven-and-a-half years. That’s another indication that Vance wants to use the power of New York State to address a matter that has already been addressed by federal prosecutors.

Until now, there’s been lots of speculation about whether state officials would use criminal law to go where federal charges and investigations might not go, or where they might be thwarted.
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2019-03-13/paul-manafort-s-new-york-indictment-is-a-warning-to-trump





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br]

So Donald Trump assures us that he’s the hardest working guy ever. “I’m the hardest working president of all time, nobody has worked harder than I have. It’s time to MAGA, believe me!”. Well when your favorite toy gets taken away from you – golf, what is a guy like Trump supposed to do for fun on the weekends? I know! Retreat to your second favorite toy – angry toilet tweeting! And he must have been backed up because there were a whole slew of angry tweets this weekend, and it might be one of his craziest ever. Someone really needs to tell Trump to turn off the TV and go outside for a while, but we all know he won’t do that. What did he do instead? He tweeted and very angrily at that!

President Trump tweeted 50 times over the weekend, posting 20 times on Saturday, and 30 times on Sunday. Between his first tweets on Saturday morning (clips of Lou Dobbs interviewing Diamond & Silk and a former ICE director) and his last on Sunday night (“MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”), Trump took his followers on a whirlwind tour of his feverish obsession with himself and the media. He praised his own accomplishments, mostly his Friday veto of a congressional resolution terminating his national emergency declaration, and those touting his resolve on cable news. At the same time, he railed against Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation, a Saturday Night Live rerun and the Radical Left Democrats, whom he accused of attempting to rig the 2016 election. On Sunday night, he retweeted a string of conspiracy theorists, capping an unhinged, two-day Twitter bender that would have been concerning if it came from your uncle, much less the president of the United States.

The president’s feed makes it clear that he spent an overlarge part of his weekend planted in front of a TV tuned to Fox News. He tweeted a clips of Lou Dobbs describing the ceremony during which Trump vetoed the congressional resolution to terminate his national emergency declaration as “emotional” and “stirring”; of various Fox News programs bashing the Justice Department for how it handled the investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails; and of the sheriff of Bristol County, Massachusetts, praising the president’s commitment to “protecting the people of this country.” All standard stuff.

But Trump also went after the network for removing Jeanine Pirro from the air Saturday night. A week earlier, Pirro suggested that Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) is un-American because she is a Muslim who wears a hijab. The comments were condemned by Fox News, which ultimately decided to suspend her program, Justice With Judge Jeanine. The president was not happy. “Bring back @JudgeJeanine Pirro,” he wrote Sunday morning. “The Radical Left Democrats, working closely with their beloved partner, the Fake News Media, is using every trick in the book to SILENCE a majority of our Country.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-fox-news-tweets-809375/




You know Trump hates Saturday Night Live so much that we’re going to instead forgo our usual memes and clips during this segment and instead replace them of footage of Alec Baldwin doing his famous Trump imitation! Because that’s how we roll! But that begs the question – why? Why does he have such a hatred toward late night comedy? Well, wait until he gets a hold of this show for one thing! But for now let’s focus on his vendetta with SNL and Stephen Colbert.

Donald Trump is taking his fixation with Saturday Night Live to a new level.

The President tweeted in the early Sunday morning hours a threat to have the NBC late night comedy series investigated by a federal agency. The offense? Mocking him.

“It’s truly incredible that shows like Saturday Night Live, not funny/no talent, can spend all of their time knocking the same person (me), over & over, without so much of a mention of ‘the other side,'” the president wrote. “Like an advertisement without consequences. Same with Late Night Shows. Should Federal Election Commission and/or FCC look into this? There must be Collusion with the Democrats and, of course, Russia! Such one sided media coverage, most of it Fake News. Hard to believe I won and am winning. Approval Rating 52%, 93% with Republicans. Sorry! #MAGA”

Oddly, SNL didn’t even air a new episode last night, but rather a repeat that featured at least one Trump sketch (with Alec Baldwin reprising his role as Trump).
https://ew.com/tv/2019/03/17/trump-threatens-snl-twitter/




Oh and that’s not Alec Baldwin, that’s actual footage of Trump’s appearance on SNL. And we all know how much he hates that clip, so don’t circulate it. Maybe that’s why he hates SNL so much? Well, that aside, what else did he tweet about? Well everything from GM closing their Lordstown, Ohio plant to Democratic rep Omar Ilhan, to John McCain. Yes, John McCain!! Seriously what’s wrong with this guy?

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26854200/donald-trump-twitter-meltdown-snl-fox-news-jeanine-pirro-qanon/




Yes, that’s actually president Donald Trump doing a monologue on SNL. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is heading, let’s take a look at Trump’s boss, Vladimir Putin, and the fact that he literally made it a crime to insult him. Why does the dictatorship always attract the fragile ego? They honestly have the most fragile egos of anybody.

President Vladimir Putin signed laws punishing online media and individuals for spreading “fake news” or material that’s considered insulting to Russian officials.

Prosecutors can now complain about online publications to the state communications watchdog, which has powers to block access to the websites if their owners fail to remove the material promptly. Publications found guilty of spreading “unreliable socially significant information” may face fines of as much as 1.5 million rubles ($23,000).

Individuals also face fines and up to 15 days in jail if they publish material online that expresses “clear disrespect for society, the state, the official state symbols of the Russian Federation, the Constitution of the Russian Federation and bodies exercising state power.”

The measures were attacked during their passage through parliament by the Presidential Human Rights Council, which warned of their potential use as methods of repression against critics of the authorities. Putin signed the legislation after thousands of people protested in Moscow earlier this month against Kremlin plans to establish a “Sovereign internet” that would route online traffic mostly through domestic servers and exchanges.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-18/insulting-putin-may-now-land-you-in-jail-under-new-russian-law





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[font size="8"]Jexodus
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The latest voter suppression attempt to take away votes from the Democratic party and give them to less deserving conservatives, might be the most batshit crazy thing that they’ve come up with yet. It’s called “Jexodus”. You might have seen the guy who we currently call “president” even endorsing this insane trend. It’s basically a toxic cocktail of all of the GOP’s current favorite things – voter suppression, exile, fearmongering, intimidation tactics, and election stealing. And if you can also guess, anything that Trump touches turns to shit. But really would you expect the party that openly embraces anti-Semitism to welcome Jewish people with open arms? Yeah, we thought so too. So what is Jexodus? Let’s find out.

President Donald Trump on Friday declared that the Republican Party is “waiting with open arms” to welcome Jewish voters who he said are fleeing the "total disrespect" they have been shown by Democrats, whom the GOP has accused of harboring anti-Semitic sentiments.

The president touted the so-called Jexodus movement — which purports to be a grassroots movement aimed at getting Jewish millennials to desert the Democratic Party en masse — following segments on Fox News and the right-wing outlet One America News Network featuring the nascent organization.

“The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party,” he tweeted. “Total disrespect! Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!”

Trump has lambasted Democrats as the “anti-Israel” party after a series of comments from freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) about politicians’ support for Israel were deemed by many to be laced with anti-Semitic tropes. Omar’s comments resulted last week in the House overwhelmingly passing a resolution condemning bigotry that some said didn’t go far enough in singling out the Minnesota congresswoman.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/15/trump-jexodus-jewish-republican-1222890




Now just remember that this is a classic Nazi intimidation technique. Accuse that which you are guilty of yourself. Trump is so desperate for just about anything that he’s literally throwing shade on the Democratic relationship with Jewish people! So where did this madness start? Well, like all horrible things, it started at CPAC.

Have you heard about Jexodus, the new, totally laughable “movement” trying to steer millennial Jewish Americans—who are, as its website states, “tired of living in bondage to leftist politics”—away from the Democratic Party and into the arms of Republicans? (Good luck with that, by the way; as my Splinter colleague Rafi Schwartz pointed out, it’s not likely to happen, especially when a vile antisemite is currently occupying the White House.)

Jexodus apparently sprang from the brain of longtime Republican operative Jeff Ballabon, the man who, if you recall, recently called Representative Ilhan Omar “filth.” By the time Ballabon announced the creation of Jexodus at CPAC at the end of February, there was a website, a Twitter account, and one woman listed as its national spokesperson—Elizabeth Pipko, a 23-year-old whom Jexodus’s website describes as an “international model, Trump 2016 campaign staffer, poet, patriot, and fiercely proud millennial Jew.”

On Tuesday, Pipko was a guest on “Fox & Friends,” where she promoted the organization. “We left Egypt, and now we’re leaving the Democratic Party,” Pipko said. It almost immediately led to an approving tweet from Donald Trump:
https://theslot.jezebel.com/meet-the-trump-loving-model-harvard-student-and-poet-1833320654




You’re right Mr. Burgundy, it doesn’t make sense! So why does the GOP want the Jewish vote, why do they care? They won! They have everything they’ve ever possibly wanted – and the first president who accurately displays their values of anger and hatred! Why are they not satisfied? Why do they want more? Well…

President Trump on Friday urged Jewish voters to abandon the Democratic Party in favor of a "Jexodus" to the GOP while touting his administration's record on foreign policy surrounding Israel.

In a tweet, the president pointed to his decision to move the U.S. Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, as well as his rejection of the Iran nuclear agreement as reasons for American Jews to reconsider support for the Democratic Party.

"The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party. Total disrespect!" Trump tweeted. "Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!"

Trump and other Republicans have hammered Democrats over alleged anti-Semitism in their ranks in the weeks following controversial comments made by freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), who questioned the U.S. relationship with Israel repeatedly in ways that some said were steeped in anti-Semitic tropes.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/434195-trump-republicans-waiting-with-open-arms-for-jexodus-from




And that is true! If you’re a Jewish person in America, why would you go to the party that openly embraces white supremacism, neo nationalism, and anti-Semitism? Because… owning the liberals, that’s why! The GOP doesn’t care about rule of law anymore, they care about one thing and one thing only – owning the libs. Because, reasons. Will they get any takers? No! Jewish people find this term offensive in and of itself! You get nothing! You lose, good day sir!

When Democrats argued about a House member's comments on Israel and U.S. lawmakers, many saw it as an emerging dispute between the party's old guard and some of its younger members.

President Donald Trump saw it as a political opportunity with Jewish voters.

In tweets, public statements and speeches to supporters, Trump and his aides are trying to use claims of anti-Semitism to pry Jewish voters away from their longtime allegiance to the Democratic Party.

In his latest effort, a Friday morning tweet, Trump said Jewish people were leaving the Democratic Party in what he called a "Jexodus," though he did not cite evidence for such a shift. He said Republicans were "waiting with open arms" for Jewish voters. "Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!" he tweeted.

The phrase "Jexodus" stirred controversy on Twitter with some users calling it offensive to Jewish people.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/16/donald-trump-predicts-jexodus-jewish-voters-democrats-say-fantasy/3131536002/





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[font size="8"]Boeing 737 Max 8 SNAFU
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You know we have a policy here at the Top 10 to not joke about tragedy. But since our thing is situational humor, we can make fun of the situation, can’t we? Well, the situation here is not good, especially when it comes to flying lately. In the last year, you’ve had planes crash into houses, freeways, and most recently, not one but two fatal crashes involving Boeing’s 737 Max 8. When something like that happens you immediately want to know who’s responsible. Well, considering that it’s a trillion dollar company like Boeing, and it may or may not involve the FAA, figuring out who’s responsible for this is going to be a clusterfuck. Here’s the latest.
As airlines and safety regulators worldwide scramble to understand why two Boeing 737 Max 8 jets crashed in chillingly similar accidents, more indications are pointing to how an automated anti-stalling system may be linked to the model’s unusually deadly debut.

The safety feature—the Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System (MCAS)—appears to have sent both planes into their fatal dives as pilots struggled to keep aloft. The 737 Max 8 and 9 were grounded by regulators around the world last week.

Here are key details that have been reported—most significantly by the Seattle Times—about a series of engineering, regulatory, and political missteps that preceded software being installed on a widely used plane without pilots apparently fully understanding its risks.
New planes, no new training

Boeing designed the 737 Max 8 to be similar enough to existing 737s that it could keep the same “type rating”—meaning, as the Times reported, that pilots who already flew 737s wouldn’t have to be retrained on a new plane and airlines would save a lot of money.
https://qz.com/1575509/what-went-wrong-with-the-boeing-737-max-8/




Holy shit!!! They figured that it would save money on training? That’s like when your company switches over to Windows 10 after being on Windows 7 for years because it requires no training. What the fuck does Cortana do? I’ve had Windows 10 for years and I still don’t fucking know!!! So where does the legal liability lie is the million dollar question.

The fatal crashes of two Boeing Co. 737 Max jets and the fleet’s worldwide grounding have triggered a complicated scramble regarding legal liability involving the manufacturer, airlines and the victims' families.

Boeing’s risks might be rising after a report in the Seattle Times that the company’s safety analysis for the airliner’s new flight control system had crucial flaws. Much of the legal liability depends on the findings of investigators, as well as the contracts Boeing has with airlines that purchased the planes.

But one thing so far appears clear: The families of passengers who perished in the crashes of Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 on March 10 and Lion Air Flight 610 in October will have strong claims for damages. Questions remain, however, about whether some of those legal cases will be heard in the U.S. or abroad.

“They are in a sense the innocent participants in the whole thing, and it’s really a function of when and how much” the families receive in damages — “and not if,” said Mark A. Dombroff, an attorney with the LeClairRyan law firm in Alexandria, Va., who often represents airlines.
https://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-boeing-737-max-lawsuits-liability-20190318-story.html




Yeah so to recap, Trump says Boeing is a “wonderful company”. By the way, in case you’re wondering how little Trump gets it, he actually tweeted out that airlines are “too complex to fly”. This guy has never flown an airplane in his fucking life! How would he know??? I mean just… oh fuck it, at this point trying to sort out his logic is just too complicated. In fact it might make your head explode.

President Donald Trump and Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg spoke by telephone Tuesday, following Trump's tweet about how flying has become too complicated, according to two sources familiar with the conversation.

Muilenburg has talked to Trump frequently and appeared alongside him several times during the first two years of his presidency.

"Airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. Pilots are no longer needed, but rather computer scientists from MIT. I see it all the time in many products. Always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better," Trump tweeted.

"Split second decisions are needed, and the complexity creates danger. All of this for great cost yet very little gain. I don't know about you, but I don't want Albert Einstein to be my pilot. I want great flying professionals that are allowed to easily and quickly take control of a plane!" he added.

Trump's tweets come days after a Boeing 737 MAX 8 plane crashed, the second time in months that the new airplane model has wrecked minutes after takeoff, killing all on board. The crashes have raised questions about the role of a new software system installed on the plane, but investigators have yet to reach a conclusion about the cause.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/12/politics/donald-trump-boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenberg/index.html




By the way if you’re wondering what the relationship is with the current Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg, and the Trump administration, this is completely not at all shocking. Which is why it took so long for America to condemn the 737 Max 8 where other countries it was pretty much a unanimous no brainer.

Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg reportedly put in a call with President Donald Trump on Tuesday to try to convince him not to ground his company’s embattled 737 Max 8 planes after two such models crashed in a matter of months. A number of countries have decided to keep the planes out of the air, but not the United States.

Maybe the US and the Federal Aviation Administration are right to see what investigators find out and take a prudent approach before taking action. But it would be a lot easier to believe that if Boeing weren’t so chummy with Trump.

The relationship between the Trump administration and Boeing has come under increased scrutiny in recent days amid concerns over the safety of one of the manufacturer’s planes. On Sunday, March 10, Ethiopian Airlines flight 302 from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Nairobi, Kenya, faltered and crashed soon after taking off, killing all 157 people on board. Just five months before, in October, a Lion Air flight taking off from Jakarta, Indonesia, crashed, killing all 189 passengers. The flights were the same model of planes, the Boeing 737 Max 8.

Multiple countries have grounded the planes, and in the US, there is increased pressure on the FAA to follow suit, including from members of Congress from both sides of the aisle, such as Sens. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), Mitt Romney (R-UT), and Ted Cruz (R-TX).
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/13/18263719/boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenburg-trump-tweet-call





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[font size="8"]College Cheating Scandal
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Sadly, the College Cheating Scandal is not the craziest thing that happened this week, and any other week it absolutely would have been #1. This is so insane that we could really do a future edition where we devote all 10 slots to it, or at least 9 slots because we still have Stupidest State to get through. And the College Cheating Scandal really shows the overwhelming divide between America’s rich and poor – America’s rich can simply bribe some sleazebag to fabricate the test numbers, and their idiot offspring will get into the university of their choice, and they won’t take tests or show up to class, they’ll be there to party and get their drink on!

With its toxic blend of arrogance and entitlement, the college admission cheating scandal has touched a deep nerve across the country. But it represents only the most visible inequity in a higher education system that many critics believe now does more to stratify privilege than to expand opportunity.

"From an equity perspective, this is just the tip of the iceberg," says Anthony Carnevale, director of the Center on Education and the Workforce at Georgetown University. "This system is, in many respects, an aristocracy posing as a meritocracy."

As the nation inexorably grows more racially diverse, the higher education system has become a chokepoint to narrowing the gaps in economic opportunity between whites -- particularly those from upper-income families -- and minorities.

Although nonwhites will soon reach a majority of the under-18 population and already constitute a majority of public school K-12 students nationwide, most of them who attend college are still being channeled toward the least selective private and public postsecondary schools operating with the least resources. Meanwhile, whites still fill most of the seats at the most selective institutions, which spend the most on their students.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/19/politics/college-education-scandal-inequality-higher-education/index.html




Look, look, look. Here my whole thing. So the college cheating scandal touched a huge nerve in this country and put the spotlight on a huge problem in this country. The “great divide” is not between the left and the right. It’s between the rich and the poor. So what are some of the more bizarre details?

It doesn't necessarily take admissions officers long to figure out if an applicant has a fighting chance at getting into one of the country's top schools, according to one former officer.

"We see so many transcripts that, in about a third of a second, we can tell what type of trajectory the student is on," said McGreggor Crowley, the former director of undergraduate selection at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

That's not to say admissions officers generally make snap judgments. In interviews this week, the ex-admissions officers said their former colleagues comb through stacks of applications, pore over essays, scrutinize GPAs and try to help campuses winnow a vast pool of applicants to a select few.

They are the gatekeepers of what has become a deeply competitive — and, for many, a deeply unequal — process for high school students. The most esteemed schools extend invitations to only a tiny fraction of applicants — sometimes the admit rate is in the single digits or low teens — and some privileged families shell out thousands for test prep services, essay editors and private counselors.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/college-cheating-scandal-two-ex-admissions-officers-explain-behind-scenes-n983796




Yeah they didn’t think of the children when they went about and bribed sleazebags to take tests for them. Well, it did have its’ consequences for the parents. I’m sure by now you have all heard that the Hallmark Channel cut ties with one of its’ stars Laurie Laughlin over this scandal.

The fallout has begun for actress Lori Loughlin in the wake of her arrest this week for her alleged ties to a college admissions scandal, and for her daughter Olivia Jade Giannulli.

Loughlin was fired Thursday from the Hallmark Channel, on which she has been a staple, and beauty retailer Sephora announced hours earlier it has ended its partnership with Giannulli, who is a social media influencer.

"We are saddened by the recent news surrounding the college admissions allegations," the parent company of the Hallmark Channel said in a statement. "We are no longer working with Lori Loughlin and have stopped development of all productions that air on the Crown Media Family Network channels involving Lori Loughlin including Garage Sale Mysteries, an independent third party production."
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/lori-loughlin-s-daughter-olivia-jade-loses-sephora-partnership-wake-n983331





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: State Run Pot
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



Marijuana is more popular than ever. So much that many states have voted to overturn marijuana laws that have been on the books for nearly a century. One such state – the State Of New Mexico – could become one of America’s first states to have legalized marijuana stores run by the state. With that, comes many questions. What would that be like? What would that entail? And is it really cool if the man does it? Well the answers are yes, no, and yes. In fact New Mexico’s brush with legalized marijuana could set a precedent for the entire country to follow. While it was unsuccessful this time, who knows what is in store?

A bill aiming to legalize and regulate marijuana in New Mexico had a lot of momentum but doesn’t appear to be on its way to becoming law this session.

While the 2019 session ended at noon on Saturday, New Mexico House Bill 356, or the “Cannabis Regulation Act,” is expected to die in the Senate, stuck in committee.

While that bill passed a full House vote and had broad support from Democrats in the Senate, the Senate Finance Committee has yet to schedule the bill for a committee discussion or vote.

“It’s basically boiling down to whether or not the Senate Finance Committee and Senator (John Arthur) Smith wants to give it a hearing," said Democrat House Speaker Brian Egolf during an interview with reporters this week.
https://www.krqe.com/news/politics-government/nm-marijuana-legalization-effort-unlikely-to-pass-in-2019-session/1853428170




But while that passed, New Mexico still could become one of the latest states to legalize marijuana, joining others like California, Washington, and Colorado. While pro-legalization advocates were defeated this time, there’s hope that it will pass after next year’s election.

Lawmakers can expect to take up a proposal next year to make New Mexico the 11th state in the nation to legalize recreational marijuana.

Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham said she will add the issue to the agenda of the 2020 legislative session.

It’s a 30-day session, so the governor has some power to set the agenda.

A bipartisan proposal to legalize recreational cannabis through state-run stores narrowly won House approval this year but stalled in the Senate. It was the first time a recreational marijuana bill passed a chamber of the state Legislature.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1292850/recreational-marijuana-will-be-back-in-2020-session.html




So what would going to a state run marijuana store look like? It would look like your stores that you see in states like Colorado and California, where they have everything from different blends of marijuana, to chocolate and candy edibles of different varieties. But in a state run store, weed would be taxed just like any other drug.

New Mexico would become the first U.S. state to set up its own government-operated marijuana stores and subsidize medical cannabis for the poor under a bill brokered between Republicans and Democrats, as a new wave of states weighs legislation that would legalize recreational sales and consumption.

The idea for state-run pot shops comes from a trio of GOP state senators who broke with local Republican Party orthodoxy to embrace legal marijuana with a decidedly big-government approach that would have the state directly oversee most sales — and require that marijuana consumers carry receipts of purchase or confront penalties.

Those provisions were sown into Democrat-sponsored legislation that contains currents of social justice, including a provision to subsidize medical cannabis for poor people with “debilitating medical conditions” who might not otherwise be able to afford treatment. Tax dollars from recreational marijuana sales would fund employment and counseling programs in communities “disproportionately affected by past federal and state drug policies,” including training to enter the marijuana sector.
https://www.governing.com/topics/finance/State-Run-Pot-Shops-Bill-Could-Make-New-Mexico-First-in-the-US.html




However, even as marijuana and marijuana culture is becoming more and more legal by the day, there’s still an illegal side to it. In fact what is that like working on both sides of the spectrum? We go to Santa Ana, California, where there is an abundance of legalized marijuana, but the shady side of the business still runs rampant.

Technically, the marijuana shops in Santa Ana and Costa Mesa are on opposite sides of the law.

Santa Ana allows cannabis retailing, so the city welcomes and collects tax money from some 18 licensed cannabis stores in the city’s boundaries. Costa Mesa doesn’t, and it would like to shut down the eight rogue shops in town that are selling weed in defiance of state and local law.

But the distinction between many of these shops — and between legal and illegal marijuana shops throughout Southern California — is far from black and white.

Many illicit shops sell products also offered in legal shops, even though licensed cannabis farmers, manufacturers and distributors can’t legally peddle their goods in unlicensed shops.

Some of the underground shops are owned by people who also have stakes in legal stores, with the owners using a complex scheme of limited partnerships and proxy owners — sometimes called “go to jail guys” — to hide their dual roles.
https://www.ocregister.com/2019/03/15/legal-illegal-some-players-still-work-both-sides-of-state-marijuana-industry/




Legal or illegal, marijuana is more popular than ever and it looks to sweep the country in the 2020 elections as one of the biggest issues of the day. What’s happening now is just the begging, expect big things in the future. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Atlanta, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! When a story involving religion so dominates a news cycle we have to talk about it, because that’s what we are here for. Now, we’ve traditionally avoided talking about the horrible abuse scandals in the Catholic Church, because my employers say that you can’t joke about tragedy like that. But when the story involving a joke aimed at the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal draws scorn from both sides, how do we address it? And Saturday Night Live is a show that is under fire from republicans and religious folks who claim the show doesn’t represent their values. Now does everything? Well the Catholic Church can go fuck itself, that much is true. But what did Pete Davidson say, exactly?

Pete Davidson is in hot water for making a controversial joke about the Catholic Church on "Saturday Night Live."

"If you support the Catholic Church, isn't that the same thing as, like, being an R. Kelly fan?" Davidson asks. "I don't really see the difference, only one's music is significantly better."

But the remark wasn't funny to the Church's Diocese of Brooklyn, which is now demanding a public apology from the series.

“The mockery of this difficult time in the Church’s history serves no purpose," the lengthy statement from the Diocese of Brooklyn read in part. "The clergy sex abuse crisis is shameful, and no one should ever get a laugh at the expense of the victims who have suffered irreparably. The Diocese of Brooklyn strives every day to ensure that sexual abuse by clergy never happens again."

The statement concludes: "The insensitivity of the writers, producers, and the cast of 'SNL' around this painful subject is alarming."

Neither Davidson nor "SNL" have responded to the Church's comments.
https://www.insideedition.com/pete-davidson-hot-water-catholic-church-over-sex-abuse-jokes-51349




Yeah so… indulge me for a minute here, my fair congregation. R. Kelly is a very ungodly man who committed a lot of very SAYNFUL and very unlawful acts and is someone who is probably going to jail for a very long time. But he’s not a Catholic priest. So he can’t face Vatican justice, which is he’ll just get moved to another city. But Mr. Davidson brings up a good point! I mean really, are we shocked at Catholic church jokes at this point? They are, but I don’t think we are!

Documentaries containing detailed sex abuse allegations against R. Kelly and Michael Jackson have shaken the foundations of the music industry, and last weekend's Saturday Night Live addressed the fallout in a "Weekend Update" segment featuring Pete Davidson.

Davidson began his segment saying he believed the allegations against Kelly, who is facing ten counts of aggravated criminal sexual assault against four victims between 1998 and 2010. "This guy is a monster, and he should go to jail forever," Davidson said. He then went on to compare Kelly's diehard fandom to the Catholic Church, an institution which continues to faces allegations of systemic child abuse. “If you support the Catholic church, isn’t that the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference — only one’s music is significantly better.”

His monologue riffed on the difficulties in canceling figures as important to the culture as Kelly and Jackson, and offered an amusing fix:

“Pretending these people never existed is maybe not the solution. The rule should be…you could appreciate their work, but you only if you admit what they did. You can buy a Mustang, but you have to say, ‘Henry Ford hated the Jews’ as you buckle in. The full sentence should be ‘Mark Wahlberg beat up an old Asian dude, and I would like one ticket to Daddy’s Home 3 please.’ Because if it’s that important to you, at least own it. I don’t ever need to see a Kevin Spacey movie again but if the CEO of Swisher Sweets turns out to be a cannibal, I can’t just change my whole life.”
https://www.thefader.com/2019/03/11/saturday-night-live-pete-davidson-r-kelly-catholic-church




By the way, how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them? Can I get an amen??? Yes, should Saturday Night Live and Pete Davidson apologize for their jokes? Should any comedian apologize for their material? If they did, we in the comedy profession would all be out of a job! But the humorless, who often don’t get the joke, force the people who have a sense of humor to apologize.

The past six months have been eventful for “Saturday Night Live” cast member Pete Davidson. From the coverage of his relationship and breakup with pop singer Ariana Grande to comments mocking a veteran running for Congress to an Instagram post that suggested he is suicidal, the 25-year-old has made headlines in the New York Times and PerezHilton.com.

Davidson on Saturday drew more attention for comments deemed offensive by the Roman Catholic Church.

During a “Saturday Night Live” Weekend Update segment, Davidson discussed the similarities between singer R. Kelly’s sexual abuse case and the Catholic Church’s history of sexual abuse scandals.

“If you support the Catholic Church, isn’t that like the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference, except for one’s music is significantly better,” Davidson said.

In a statement Monday, the Diocese of Brooklyn demanded “an immediate public apology from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and NBC after Saturday night’s disgraceful and offensive skit.”
http://en.brinkwire.com/news/catholic-church-calls-for-apology-from-snl-after-pete-davidson-joke/




And neither do we! But really, why is the Catholic Church so invested in this? And I mean really, they have access to the internet, have they ever done a search for themselves? Oh, we have, good sir! And we can rest assured that Mr. Davidson’s joke is relatively tame compared to some of those out there that we’ve seen!

After Pete Davidson compared the Catholic Church to R. Kelly on last week’s Saturday Night Live, Church leaders — including Pope Francis — demanded a public apology. “Apparently, the only acceptable bias these days is against the Catholic Church,” they said in a statement.

It’s ironic that the Church — which has long opposed liberal policies like promoting LGBTQ rights and a woman’s right to choose — is suddenly up in arms over Pete Davidson’s use of free speech. They had no problem with free speech when the Pope claimed the institution of the family was under attack by marriage equality advocates, for which the LGBTQ community never got an apology.

In its overblown response, the Church tries to portray itself as the victim. We’re supposed to believe Davidson’s joke about the Church’s long history of covering up sexual abuse was made on the basis of some “bias.”

This purported bias isn’t even against Catholics, but against the Church. That’s right, we’re supposed to feel bad for a corrupt, monolithic institution that refuses to acknowledge its own biases against anyone who isn’t a proper, cisgender, heterosexual Catholic.
https://oberlinreview.org/18332/opinions/the-catholic-church-doesnt-deserve-an-apology/




Yes, their souls will most likely be eaten!!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace!!! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]NO!!!!
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OMG!!! Instagram went down this week! What are you crazy out of your minds???? AHHH!!!! I cant go five minutes without getting likes! You might be the type of person who wants to catalog and share everything online that’s ever been shared before, but some things are just not meant to be shared. Like your restaurant bathroom experience. We do not need to see pictures of you in the restroom! Stop it, people. Just stop it. I don’t know about you, but I am of the male gender. Shocking, I know. But as a man, I have been in some stank ass bathrooms in my life. Usually, my first thought is not to hang around, but to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. But thanks to selfie culture, we now have to worry about idiots hanging around and posing for pictures in front of mirrors. This has gone completely berserk! Yes, people are hanging around bathrooms and taking pictures to get likes on Instagram. And really, stop it people, just stop it!

The New York City restaurant Motel Morris, which opened its doors last April, closely resembles a 1950s motel. Tamara McCarthy, who owns the restaurant with her husband and a childhood friend, wanted patrons to feel like they were sitting in a classic American diner. A graphic designer, McCarthy expected customers would be enamored of the old-school touches like authentic family photos on the walls, vintage diner plates and napkins, and dishes like “meatloaf and mash.” Instead, she was surprised to find that they were the most taken with its bathroom.

She told me that a few weeks after the restaurant opened, waitstaff began notifying her out of concern: People who went to the bathroom were taking their time.

“We believe some people didn’t even have to go to the bathroom but just wanted to stay inside and take photos,” she says with a laugh.

McCarthy had designed the bathroom to look it belonged in someone’s grandmother’s house five decades ago. It’s completely covered in floral wallpaper and pink tile, and features pink props like vintage motel lounge chairs, an old hair dryer, and a mounted telephone, courtesy of a bartender who likes to collect old trinkets.
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/3/18159301/bathrooms-for-instagram-luxury-bathrooms




No people!! Stop it!!! We don’t need bathroom selfies, OK? This is one trend that really needs to go away and go away now. And this trend has really got to chafe restaurant owners because now they’re struggling to keep up the design of their bathrooms in order to make them “Instagram-worthy”, whatever that is, to attract customers.

There is a new brand of customer moving the restaurant industry away from function over form; guests who want a photographable moment — even in the rest room.

For many restaurants, this has resulted in a wave of experiential restrooms that have achieved Instagram fame — sometimes outshining the restaurant’s food, drink or dining room — and designers have taken note.

At the vegan fast-casual concept By Chloe, based in New York, for example, the design of restaurants has been embraced as a key point of differentiation.

“We noticed that some vegan restaurants had a signature look with more of a darker color scheme and woodsy feel to them, and we wanted to be different,” said founder Samantha Wasser.

Focusing on each location individually rather than multiplying their original design across all units, Wasser said she “wants the bathrooms to have a ‘wow’ moment.

“For each bathroom, we select two different wallpapers — one for the walls, one for the ceiling — and not one bathroom has ever been the same,” she said.
https://www.restaurant-hospitality.com/design/setting-instagram-stage-restroom




Yeah… remember the simpler times when people used to go into a bathroom and I don’t know… actually use it? And the worst thing we had to endure was running out of toilet paper? Now we have to deal with people posing for selfies. And it gets worse! So much worse! If you really want to see who the most obnoxious people in the restaurant are, you don’t need to go any further than New York City to see where this is heading.

Do you have an appetite for Social Media?

In a city known for its dearth of high-end red meat options, you might think the arrival of a new luxury steakhouse would be big news. But at the just opened downtown location of Boston Chops, the real star may well turn out to be the $10,000 custom furniture the owners are calling “the first and only Instagram table in the country.”

Created and built exclusively for the restaurant, the table boasts customizable features including moveable arm lights, adjustable light intensities and adjustable color temperature settings. To make sure they got it right, owners Chris Coombs and Brian Piccini met with social media “influencers,” (though to be honest, most of the ones I’ve met traveling don’t influence anyone), architects and photographers to create a space where anyone wanting to post food photos on social media will get the perfect picture every time. The table is available for reservation by request, and there are also “Instagrammable moments” throughout the establishment that include design components, art, signs, and backgrounds for photos that have all been made for social media.

“Social media is a big part of the dining scene today and we didn’t have to think about it when we opened Boston Chops South End five years ago,” said Coombs (via release). “Now, it is imperative that photos of restaurant interior and food are beautiful when they are posted online by influencers. It is a great marketing tool for people to see our food, décor and cocktails and hopefully entice them to check it out for themselves.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/larryolmsted/2018/06/03/first-restaurant-instagram-table-in-u-s-opens/#48782a10263a




Just go and eat the food damn it! Not everything needs to be a documented experience! Argh, fuck Instagram. Oh and I almost forgot, that reminds me – be sure to follow the new Top 10 Instagram account at @10Idiots! And by the way, this has caused people to channel their inner George Costanza and start actually reviewing the bathrooms at restaurants. Now this is a trend I can get behind!

You feel flush, so you want to dine out. You desire a restaurant that serves excellent food and provides hospitable service.

But you also deserve a clean bathroom.

The City of Boston publicizes health inspection data, so it’s easy enough to find reports of dirty kitchens or untended food. But what about toilets? A clean, soothing restroom can make a meal complete — just as a filthy one can lead a customer to question what else might be left to chance.

Enter Toilets of Boston, a new Instagram account that meticulously ranks local loos on a five-point scale for factors including cleanliness, ambiance, and utilities. Each post features a photo of the toilet in question, as well as a wider shot of the lavatory’s atmosphere (or lack thereof). The account focuses on restaurants, with an occasional detour to a spa or tourist attraction.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/food-dining/2018/09/10/toilets-boston-instagram-ranks-local-restaurant-loos-you-don-have/fl26bCx0mAdRI94JRZE6dJ/story.html





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I want to start with this story out of South Carolina where a guy took his Taco Bell order just a little too seriously. Look, look. We travel a lot here and as such we eat a lot of fast food. I know that you have a problem when somebody fails to get your order right. I get that. What I don’t get… do we really need this guy walking behind the counter and making his own food? This is about as insane as someone calling 911 because McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets.

According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”

The man, however, was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way,” according to a police report.

The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”

The Taco Bell employee said the suspect “made himself another Mexican pizza and subsequently left the store and premises.” The man, the worker said, “was angry and upset throughout his time in the facility” and used foul language in response to her repeated demands to leave the Taco Bell.
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/man-storms-taco-bell-709254




Next up, it’s 5:00 somewhere, people. So we go to my home state of California for this story. This happened at a Target in San Jorquin. Yeah so here’s the thing – department store dressing rooms aren’t exactly made for hanging around in. And they’re definitely not made to drink in. I definitely wouldn’t be combining the two.

It’s always 5 o’clock somewhere — and for one woman, the right time for beer apparently occurred in a Target dressing room.

Elysia Johnson, 21, was arrested after she drank a six-pack of beer in a Target dressing room in California on Saturday, police say.

According to Lathrop Police Services, Johnson entered Target around 3:30 p.m. and placed several items in a shopping cart and basket.

Johnson walked around the store, grabbed a six-pack of Stella Artois beer, and headed to the dressing room.

For over an hour, cops say, she made the dressing room her personal bar and drank the entire six-pack of beer.
https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-woman-arrested-drinking-beer-target-dressing-20190311-story.html




Next up – we go to Minneapolis for this story. Look, we get trying to be a good Samaritan here. But in this case it was the case of a good Samaritan gone horribly, horribly wrong. And by the way I will take this opportunity to say – “fuck the My Pillow guy”.

A Good Samaritan thought they were potentially saving someone’s life in Jordan, Minnesota this week.

However, all they wound up doing was preventing a piece of advertising from getting exposed to the elements.

Jordan Police said on Thursday that they received a rescue call from someone looking to facilitate assistance for a “deranged person standing outside in the cold hugging a pillow.”

Officers who responded to the welfare check noted the figure, which a caller said was standing motionless, wearing no coat.

Investigating officers discovered the person in question was really a life-size cardboard cutout of Mike Lindell, the CEO for local company MyPillow.
https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2019/03/01/deranged-person-holding-pillow-turns-out-to-be-cardboard-standee-of-mypillow-ceo/




That’s a good question! Don’t really have an answer for that one! Next up of course we can’t have a segment of “People Are Dumb” without mentioning our good friends Florida Man and Florida Woman, because you know the Sunshine State is *ALWAYS* batshit fucking crazy. And remember that show from a few years back called “Trading Spouse” and that one crazy woman who claimed that everything was ungodly? Well, this woman might be her cousin.

A woman was arrested after stealing an SUV from an Ace Rent-a-Car.

WJXT reports that Gardina McCullough, 23 appeared in court Friday morning on car theft charges, with a bond set at $15,003.

McCullough was arrested after stealing a Toyota RAV4 from an Ace Rent-A-Car.

She was found less than a mile away, hiding at a hotel.

On the scene, McCullough told a local news station, "Demons told me to do it...I didn't take it, demons took it."
https://abc7ny.com/florida-woman-claims-demons-told-her-to-steal-rental-car/5180081/




Yeah neither do we! Finally this week, remember that Samuel L. Jackson movie “Snakes On A Plane” from a few years back? Yeah neither do we. But how… who… what… how does this woman fly from Australia to Scotland without knowing that a snake is in her shoe??? Just… WTF???

'Snake on a plane goes 9,300 miles from Australia to Scotland in woman's shoe.' Holidaymaker shocked to see stowaway python in her slip-ons on return from Queensland. The Guardian, Feb. 25, 2019. As souvenirs go, it is a unique one. A woman has returned to Scotland from a holiday in Australia to discover a stowaway snake hidden in one of her shoes. In an incident that will confirm the worst fears of visitors to Australia, Moira Boxall unpacked her luggage after the more than 9,300-mile journey from Queensland to find the small and very much alive creature curled up in her slip-ons. It even shed its skin during its voyage in her footwear. The resilient reptile – later identified as a non-venomous spotted python, a breed commonly kept as a pet – travelled safely from Mackay to Glasgow, reported the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/feb/25/snake-plane-australia-scotland-shoe




That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 2
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16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Welcome back to the Round 1 Week 2 action! We’re here in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center, for all the 1st round action action action!!! To recap last week, Oregon stunned the crowd with their last second 3 pointer against favorites Idaho, while Kentucky easily routed Maine by a whopping 24 points to advance to the Batshit finals! This week it’s a rematch from last year as the juggernaut of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, Wisconsin, takes on perennial favorites Nevada (hey! That’s where we are!) in a showdown to see who can go for broke. Meanwhile in match #2, we are going to see a battle of the Bible Thumpers as long time conference favorite Indiana takes on veteran Mississippi to see who can be the king of the Jesus crowd! Who will win and who will go home? We go live to the action! Also time to break out those brackets!



[font size="4"]Wisconsin Vs Nevada[/font]

[font size="4"]Wisconsin[/font]


The state known as America’s Dairyland certainly needs no introduction. Their credentials for being the reigning king of the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference are unparalleled. Much of the state including their state level officials are sponsored by the various farming corporations that are there, as well as their senators including former senator Paul Ryan. But most recently this state has been in the news a lot because they got Art Of The Deal’d by the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Foxconn is coming, you guys! And yes, those groans are perfectly acceptable. Because it’s *THAT* Foxconn – the company responsible for things like worker suicide nets! Welcome to your new nightmare, Wisconsin!

Foxconn Technology Group said Monday that the next phases of construction on its announced flat-screen plant in Racine County will begin by this summer.

The plant — a “Gen 6” liquid crystal display panel factory, or “fab” — will begin production in the fourth quarter of 2020, the company said.

The announcement follows talks last week between state and local officials and Louis Woo, special assistant to Foxconn founder and CEO Terry Gou.

Woo’s visit to Wisconsin came six weeks after reports that Foxconn might not locate a factory in Mount Pleasant after all — reports that prompted President Donald Trump to contact Gou, with the company on Feb. 1 subsequently renewing its earlier pledge to build a manufacturing plant.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2019/03/18/foxconn-says-move-forward-flat-screen-factory-summer/3202103002/




That is a good point, Mr. Burns! So yeah after months and a year of back and forth “will they or wont they”, Wisconsin is finally seeing the light on Foxconn. And that’s not necessarily a good thing given Foxconn’s human rights violations! So just how bad will this deal get?

Wisconsin policymakers have a vexing challenge this session: what should they do about the Incredible Shrinking Foxconn project? It’s especially a problem for Republican legislators because they not only approved the huge subsidies for Foxconn, but they also passed a bill during the lame duck session that gives themselves control of the Wisconsin Economic Development Corporation (WEDC) for the next couple of years. With that power comes increased responsibility for the difficult Foxconn situation.

Mounting evidence creates serious doubts that Foxconn will build a factory or other sort of enterprise in Racine County that comes anywhere close to the employment levels that Foxconn and the project’s backers promised. Some have suggested that the best thing for state taxpayers might be for Foxconn to pull the plug on the deal, but in light of the substantial public and private expenditures that have been made, efforts will presumably be made to keep the project alive.

As state and local policymakers and the general public consider the options, it’s important to understand the terms of the deal Wisconsin entered into with Foxconn. Here are five key issues to be aware of regarding the state’s contract with Foxconn:
https://urbanmilwaukee.com/2019/02/23/wisconsin-budget-5-key-problems-with-foxconn-contract/




[font size="4"]Nevada[/font]


The gambling industry needs no introduction as well, and they were busy in the off season adding some fresh young talent who will help them tank their economy. Yes, the state may be called “The Silver State” but there’s a serious lack of silver and gold in the state that gave us Las Vegas and such movies as The Hangover, Ocean’s 11, Showgirls, Rat Race, Dodgeball, and Honeymoon In Vegas. You might scream “Viva Las Vegas” at the top of your lungs, but as you leave, you will be going for broke, just as the state itself is doing!

Legislative budget committee members questioned Nevada school officials Tuesday on plans to tie $54 million to revenue from the tax on recreational marijuana purchases that could fluctuate as more states legalize sales.

Lawmakers from the Senate and Assembly budget committees also got a top-level review of the two-year, $3.2 billion basic K-12 schools budget, including proposed 2 percent merit pay increases and 3 percent cost-of-living increases for teachers and other employees, as well as detail on plans to nearly double spending on a program to help struggling students.

School safety is a new standalone budget category. It follows on recommendations of a task force whose final report was issued in November and covers spending in five areas: school social workers, safety resource/police officers; building safety enhancements, new learning programs for social and emotional development, and staff support. The overall budget is about $76 million over two years, reflecting $22.4 million now spent on school social workers and $54 million in new spending.

“What we hope you see is that this is a multi-tiered approach to school safety that looks at prevention, intervention and recovery very holistically,” Christy McGill, director of the Nevada schools’ Office for a Safe and Respectful Learning Environment, told lawmakers.

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/2019-legislature/officials-ask-if-marijuana-taxes-can-sustain-54m-for-nevada-school-safety-1600805/




Yes the state is currently so poor that they are actively trying to seek taxes from the legalization of marijuana to pay for the public schools. Oh man can you imagine getting stoned in Vegas legally? It will be like the Hangover but a million times worse! Although if times really get tough, Nevada does have Las Vegas and the Super Bowl. At least we know where the money goes!

The lowest-scoring game in Super Bowl history might produce the highest betting handle ever at Nevada sportsbooks.

A late flurry of money poured in on the Rams and Patriots before Super Bowl LIII, including at least three $1 million-plus wagers, giving bookmakers reason to believe the total amount wagered in the state could eclipse last year’s record of $158.6 million.

“The handle is going to be up there,” MGM Resorts sportsbook director Jay Rood said Sunday night after New England’s 13-3 win over Los Angeles.

“It will probably be a 10 percent increase. If every (other book) was pacing the same way as us, it should set a record.”

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/betting/books-expect-record-handle-from-lowest-scoring-super-bowl-1589194/




[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer, Wisconsin handily knocks off Nevada by a final score of 67 – 59. Sorry, Silver State, you will just have to beef up your rotation for next year!

[font size="4"]Indiana Vs Oklahoma[/font]

[font size="4"]Indiana[/font]


The Hoosier State is back for their second consecutive year proudly representing the Family Values Conference! In this conference, you can be guaranteed that the Bible will be thumped louder and harder than just about any other state in the union. And it reflects in the politicians that they vote for both on the state and the national level. It’s the state that gave us current Vice President and the guy who secretly asks if it puts the lotion in the basket, Mike Pence! And how does the Hoosier State make its’ claim to fame as the state where the most Jesus freaks reside? Well, just take a look at how difficult it is to buy booze.

Two influential Indiana Republicans have bought into a business whose lobby has for years kept cold beer out of grocery stores and other retail outlets, a move that is raising conflict-of-interest questions involving the industry's clout at the Statehouse.

The package liquor store lobby has successfully convinced lawmakers to take actions in its favor, most notably stopping the expansion of cold beer sales to grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies, despite the fact polls have consistently shown most Hoosiers want that measure to pass.

Kyle Hupfer, the state GOP chairman, and Nate Feltman, commerce secretary under former Gov. Mitch Daniels and co-owner of the Indianapolis Business Journal, have joined a venture as minority partners with Indiana Liquor Group to purchase Save-on Liquor, a chain of 31 stores in north-central Indiana. They and Republican lawmakers say the purchase won't create an uneven playing field in the General Assembly.

While it's perfectly legal in Indiana for party officials such as Hupfer to have private investments, industry leaders and political experts say the fear is Republican lawmakers will vote for legislation in ways that would help their political allies.

Read more: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2019/02/03/where-can-you-buy-cold-beer-indiana-fears-deepen-wont-grocery-stores/2730802002/




And by the way in case you’re wondering about Indiana’s hardcore Trumpism, well, it’s beginning to tread heavily into the “insane” category. And really on this one, where’s Jake and Elwood when you need them?

Once again, a pack of high schoolers has been caught giving what appears to be the Nazi salute and posting the picture to social media, reports the Indianapolis Star.

The students appear to attend Zionsville Community High School, which is investigating the incident. The photo was shot in the school auditorium and several of the teenagers are wearing Zionsville jerseys, the “Rumblin’ Bumblers” soccer team.

A student sent the photo to a teacher, who alerted the school superintendent Scott Robison. Robison called the picture “sickening.”

“Our school community’s efforts to foster cultural understanding will proceed, though they are set back mightily by this repugnant image,” Robison added.

Read more: https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2019/01/sickening-new-photo-emerges-of-indiana-high-school-boys-giving-nazi-salute/




[font size="4"]Mississippi[/font]


Of course Mississippi’s state flag is a nod to the Confederacy. Yes, the Magnolia State is no stranger to hardcore religion and even harder core religious laws. The Magnolia State may be home to some elite universities, but they’re also home to some hardcore religion, hardcore racism, and extreme totalitarianism. In fact, Mississippi’s uber-religious want to rule this country with an iron fist, and the Trump administration has practically given them a free backstage pass to pull strings from inside the White House. Just how old school is the mighty Mississippi? Well they’re bringing back a medieval style “do not pass go” for abortions!

Mississippi is trying to revive one the most restrictive abortion laws in the nation.

The state's Democratic attorney general, Jim Hood, filed a notice of appeal Monday in support of a Mississippi law that would ban most abortions after 15 weeks.

The law was signed in March by Republican Gov. Phil Bryant, and the state's only abortion clinic immediately sued the state. U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves issued a temporary injunction the next day to prevent the state from enforcing the law. Then he issued a more extensive ruling Nov. 20, finding that the law "unequivocally" violates women's constitutional rights.

Hood will ask the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to overturn Reeves' decision about the constitutionality of the law. Hood has said other federal circuits have reviewed laws banning abortion at 15 to 20 weeks, but the 5th U.S. Circuit hasn't yet reviewed such a case.
https://hosted.ap.org/dailycourier/article/151787c6a0bc4594938e3ed567dfd2b5/mississippi-appeal-seeks-revive-15-week-abortion-ban




Thank you Moe! They clearly don’t! And by the way in case you’re wondering what kind of family values the Magnolia State brings to the table, well, they bring some hardcore racism and old school confederate values! Yes, they still hang on to the confederacy. Where’s General Cartman when you need him?

Members of Confederate 901 and The Hiwaymen say they are marching to "draw a line in the sand" on Saturday against the university for the removal of Confederate symbols. The groups are calling the event the Mississippi Stands Rally. George "K-Rack" Johnson is with Confederate 901. In a Facebook Live video, Johnson says that students, faculty, and staff at the university should not be afraid that they are coming to town.

“We’re not coming to Oxford or the university to cause any trouble,” said Johnson. “We’re trying to just come in there and show that there’s lots of people throughout the state of Mississippi and the South that still believe and support their southern pride, and their history, and their heritage.”

Johnson also says there is no evidence that the pro-Confederate supporters are racist or affiliated with white supremacist groups.

Jody Owens is with the Southern Poverty Law Center. The nonprofit organization focuses on erasing hate and teaching tolerance. Owens says it's sad that a group will come to a place in Mississippi with such a deep history of racial inequity and hatred and protest about Confederate monuments.

Read more: http://www.mpbonline.org/blogs/news/2019/02/22/pro-confederate-groups-planning-rally-at-the-university-of-mississippi/




[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Ooh this was a tough one but in the end Mississippi stunned Indiana in a double overtime thriller that has one of the highest scoring rounds of the tournament so far! Final score – 101 – 93. Mississippimoves on, Indiana goes home!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3 and we’re live at the home of the Utah Jazz, the Navint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City for all the action! It’s a Fiscal Irresponsibility faceoff as Michigan goes for broke against hot newcomer Alaska, while the reigning champion Florida takes on conference favorite Montana in a Gun Nut duel to the death! Who will win and who will go home? Find out!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Struts[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Britain, you can see them on tour this summer including stops at the Kentucky Derby on May 2nd and May 4th at the Shaky Knees Festival. Their latest album is called “Young And Dangerous”. Playing their song “Body Talks”, give it up for The Struts!




Thank you Atlanta! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We’re off to Tampa next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Punchline Comedy Club, Atlanta, GA
Special Thanks To: Punchline Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: University Of Georgia Choir Club
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 20, 2019, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots



Worst Rose Parade float ever!!!!

*audience laughs and applauds*

This week - the Top 10 is live from Atlanta! We tell you about Paul Manfort's 16 crimes, delve deep into the College Cheating Scandal, find out who's responsible for the 737 Max 8 SNAFU, find out what's up with Jexodus, tell you about reactions to the Christchurch shooting, ask how JD & The Straight Shot is still a thing, and tell you why you should stop posting pictures of your restaurant bathroom experience on Instagram. Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at what would happen if states like New Mexico begin running state run marijuana stores and what that means for the future of legalized weed. Hey it's not cool if the man does it! Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell the Catholic Church where they can stick it in their fight against SNL's Pete Davidson. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course People Are Dumb. And our quest to find the Stupidest State continues with Round 1 Week 2! We're live in Las Vegas for the action as a rematch from last year pits juggernaut Wisconsin going for broke against Nevada's gambling industry, while Alabama takes on Oklahoma in a Family Values Faceoff! Plus we have some live music from the Struts!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Mar 16, 2019, 05:11 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please ask me to stop reviewing your updated privacy policy, because we both know that ain't happening. We are back everybody! And hey it’s time for Stupidest State, but I didn’t make that obvious or anything! So let’s talk about Captain Marvel for a minute. How great was that movie? But what I really want to talk about is their tribute to the late, great Stan Lee. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you might want to skip over this part, because here be spoilers ahead. That was brilliant the way they edited the seemingly never ending Marvel Studios logo that appears before the movie to be all footage of the hundreds of Stan Lee cameos over the years. But the real awesome thing they dropped into the movie was the final Stan Lee cameo where he’s sitting on a bus reading something. But what is he reading? He’s reading the script for the 1996 Kevin Smith comedy Mallrats. Yes, he’s reading the script for the movie that is arguably credited with the first Stan Lee cameo! So does that mean that Jay & Silent Bob exist in the movies themselves??? Or do they exist as movies within the movies? That is definitely the most meta that the Marvel movies have been to date. But really when you do go see it, be sure to catch that as it’s a very cool moment in the MCU and the Kevin Smith universe. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into a subject that Americans love to hate – robodialers! And he beats the FCC at their own game!



Hey everyone, the Wheel Of Corruption is back!! Yay!!! And this time we’re doing something a bit different and celebrating one of my favorite movies of last year, and the winner for Best Animated Picture, Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse! Because there’s a lot of horrific sex crimes this week and it’s going to get real dark real fast.In the first spot this week is GOP Pedophiles (1) because Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest has opened up a massive can of worms involving a super secret pedophile ring in Florida that shouldn’t have been opened. It’s Qanon come to life! Taking the 2nd slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and he took a disaster surveying trip to Alabama, and well, it was quite the disaster itself. For the third slot this week, is also Donald Trump (3). And if you saw the news this week, he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” and his explanation for it is truly astounding. In the fourth slot this week we have to talk about two different documentaries – Leaving Neverland and Surviving R. Kelly, and whew, there’s a lot to unpack from both of them. For the 5th slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5), and this week we’re going to talk about getting scammed on Go Fund Me, and why you should take precaution before jumping in after a couple is going to jail after pulling off an epic homeless scam that will make things that much worse for those less fortunate. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and the unholy Dark One is signing his name on the holy book, is that OK? Well, our resident pastor will examine both sides of the issue and allow you to draw your own conclusions! In the number 7 slot this week, we have a brand new “Beating A Dead Horse” – can Trump’s favorite stripper Stormy Daniels pull off a live standup comedy act? We will beat it (**DING**) to the ground to find out! Taking the 8th slot this week is a new “How Is This Still A Thing” and we are going to find out why Jared Kushner’s security clearance (8) is still a thing! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is “I Need A Drink” and in light of the marriage proposal to Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, we got to talk about the reigning king of jealous boyfriends, Jose Canseco, because, whew, he crazy. Finally this week it's the most wonderful time of the year! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here and we’re live in Phoenix for the Round 1 Week 1 (10) kick off which puts Kentucky vs Maine in the Batshit Conference, while tournament newcomers Idaho and Oregon bring their big guns to the dance - both literally and figuratively! Plus we have some live music from a great band from Long Beach – Rival Sons are here! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Greedy Old Perverts
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!



Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Spiderman
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s do this thing! Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… clip without context!



Funny because I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Sex. Yeah so I don’t know if you’ve been following the Chinese Madam story out of Miami but it’s certifiably insane and quite possibly the most hypocritical thing that the GOP has ever done since getting Bill Clinton impeached for a sex crime. Well, it seems that the tables have turned and now the GOP is the one in the hot seat. Take that statement where you want. It started when Robert Kraft got busted for soliciting prostitutes while in Miami (see: Idiots #6-8 ). But now it’s spiraled out of control. Here’s what is happening so far.

Famed attorney Alan Dershowitz was accused of involvement in billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex-trafficking ring by an attorney for one of Epstein’s victims, who claimed in federal court on Wednesday that the release of sealed documents will prove it.

Paul Cassell, who represents Virginia Roberts Giuffre, told the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit that the testimony of other witnesses will show Dershowitz’s involvement in the alleged trafficking of “his close friend Jeffrey Epstein.”

“When all the records come out it will show that Epstein and [Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine] Maxwell were trafficking girls to the benefit of his friends, including Mr. Dershowitz,” Cassell said in oral arguments for a case filed by the Miami Herald to unseal a collection of court documents relating to Giuffre’s now settled lawsuit against Maxwell.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/jeffrey-epstein-alan-dershowitz-and-pals-accused-of-sex-trafficking-ring




Yes holy shit indeed! So three huge GOP celebrities – Jeffrey Epstein, Alan Dershowitz, and Robert Guiffre, are all busted and implicated in this thing. And hey wait a minute! They all have ties to the Trump administration! Holy shit, it’s the Qanon theory come to life! Maybe they are running a sex ring out of the basement of a DC pizza parlor! And guess what? It goes all the way to Trump himself!

Seated at a round table littered with party favors and the paper-cutout footballs that have become tradition at his annual Super Bowl Watch Party, President Donald Trump cheered the New England Patriots and his longtime friend, team owner Robert Kraft, to victory over the Los Angeles Rams on Feb. 3.

Sometime during the party at Trump’s West Palm Beach country club, the president turned in his chair to look over his right shoulder, smiling for a photo with two women at a table behind him.

The woman who snapped the blurry Super Bowl selfie with the president was Li Yang, 45, a self-made entrepreneur from China who started a chain of Asian day spas in South Florida. Over the years, these establishments — many of which operate under the name Tokyo Day Spas — have gained a reputation for offering sexual services.

Nineteen days after Trump and Yang posed together while rooting for the Patriots, authorities would charge Kraft with soliciting prostitution at a spa in Jupiter that Yang had founded more than a decade earlier.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article227186429.html




Yeah so while BFF 4 life Kraft was busy winning the Super Bowl, Trump was taking a selfie with the same Miami Madam that he would later get busted for! No wonder members of the Patriots don’t want to go to the White House. Especially knowing what kind of food they’ll be served! So what’s the connection to Trump you might ask? Well, they’re only selling trade secrets to international executives.

After revelations earlier on Saturday that Li “Cindy” Yang, the founder of a Florida “massage” spa chain now linked to an alleged sex trafficking operation, sold access to Donald Trump for Chinese businessmen, as The Inquisitr reported, one prominent expert on national security warned that the Yang-Trump connection poses a “massive blackmail risk.”

“It is a textbook story of how foreign actors gain leverage over senior officials,” wrote Carnegie Endowment scholar David Rothkopf in The Daily Beast.

The alleged sex-trafficking scandal first gained national attention in late February, when New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged with soliciting an act of prostitution from an employee of a “spa” in Jupiter, Florida, as The Inquisitr reported. Kraft was one of 25 men charged with paying for sex at the spa. He has pleaded not guilty to the charge.

Yang, 45, no longer owns the spa and has not been charged in the sex trafficking case. But her connection to the spa chain that was allegedly operating as a front for sex trafficking, together with her political influence-peddling of Chinese business with Trump and other top Republicans, poses a significant national security threat, according to Rothkopf and other experts.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5335154/trump-yang-chinese-intelligence-national-security-risk/




So if you want to know how deep this goes (*phrasing*), Trump might be accused of laundering secrets to Chinese executives at his Mar-A-Shithole resort. Yes, Trump is laundering secrets through a Chinese madam. How is this not bigger news? Again, phrasing. I think the moral of this story is don’t trust anyone with the last name Gong, because it will end badly for you.

The latest Trump political donor to draw controversy is Li Yang, a 45-year-old Florida entrepreneur from China who founded a chain of spas and massage parlors that included the one where New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft was recently busted for soliciting prostitution. She made the news this week when the Miami Herald reported that last month she had attended a Super Bowl viewing party at Donald Trump’s West Palm Beach golf club and had snapped a selfie with the president during the event. Though Yang no longer owns the spa Kraft allegedly visited, the newspaper noted that other massage parlors her family runs have “gained a reputation for offering sexual services.” (She told the newspaper she has never violated the law.) Beyond this sordid tale, there is another angle to the strange story of Yang: She runs an investment business that has offered to sell Chinese clients access to Trump and his family. And a website for the business—which includes numerous photos of Yang and her purported clients hobnobbing at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s private club in Palm Beach—suggests she had some success in doing so.

Yang, who goes by Cindy, and her husband, Zubin Gong, started GY US Investments LLC in 2017. The company describes itself on its website, which is mostly in Chinese, as an “international business consulting firm that provides public relations services to assist businesses in America to establish and expand their brand image in the modern Chinese marketplace.” But the firm notes that its services also address clients looking to make high-level connections in the United States. On a page displaying a photo of Mar-a-Lago, Yang’s company says its “activities for clients” have included providing them “the opportunity to interact with the president, the [American] Minister of Commerce and other political figures.” The company boasts it has “arranged taking photos with the President” and suggests it can set up a “White House and Capitol Hill Dinner.” (The same day the Herald story about Yang broke, the website stopped functioning.)
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2019/03/a-florida-massage-parlor-owner-has-been-selling-chinese-execs-access-to-trump-at-mar-a-lago/





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… 10,000. Cool, I win 10,000 of something! I still don’t know 10,000 of what though. It could be anything we’re not sure. Let’s spin it again! Donald Trump. So Trump is currently in some very deep shit right now, so what’s a guy to do to get some much needed publicity! I know! Let’s go to a disaster area and then take some photos with the people! That should get me in the news! Well like most things Trump does, it ended as poorly thought out as it began. Because Trump loves people who kiss his ass, and hates people who don’t. In fact – he ordered FEMA to give Alabama the “A+ treatment”.

President Donald Trump said he’s ordered the Federal Emergency Management Agency to give Alabama the “A Plus treatment” following a devastating tornado.

Tornadoes touched down in the southern United States on Sunday, the worst ripping through rural Alabama. The storms left at least 23 people dead, including three children, and destroyed more than 1,000 homes, The New York Times reports.

Sheriff Jay Jones of Lee County, Alabama described the destruction as “catastrophic” and said he expected the death toll to rise as search and rescue teams continue their efforts.

Trump tweeted on Monday morning that FEMA would provide “the A Plus treatment to the Great State of Alabama and the wonderful people who have been so devastated by the Tornadoes.”
http://fortune.com/2019/03/04/trump-fema-alabama/




That’s pretty much what we got here in California. As if he couldn’t be any more batshit crazy and self-centered offering special favors to states that voted for him is a new low. And it gets even lower too – wait until you see what our resident pastor has to talk about when we get to “Holy Shit” this week! So how much worse can it possibly get? Well… there might be even worse weather on the way and Trump probably visited at the wrong time.

Alabamians digging through the rubble of tornado devastation welcomed Friday's visit from President Donald Trump but braced for the threat of more severe weather in the next two days.

However, the danger is not as great as it was last weekend in eastern Alabama, CNN meteorologist Monica Garrett said.

Tornadoes devastated Lee County in eastern Alabama then, killing at least 23 people and injuring dozens. Ten twisters struck the state and about 37 hammered the Southeast on Sunday.

"A tornado is possible," Garrett said about this weekend. "But the bull's-eye is more to the west."
CNN meteorologist Dave Hennen said severe weather will stretch from northern Texas into eastern Oklahoma and western Arkansas from Friday afternoon till evening. The main threat will be damaging winds and an isolated tornado.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/08/us/alabama-tornadoes-friday-wxc/index.html




But my favorite thing about this trip was seeing #FakeMelania trending on Twitter through the whole weekend and that’s something that’s not easy to do! So what is the #FakeMelania conspiracy? Well it alleges that Trump and Melania are not getting along, which isn’t that far of a stretch, and he replaced her with someone that really, really looks like her. Again, not much of a stretch.

The Melania Trump “body double” made her latest appearance on Friday — at least according to Twitter users who revisited one of social media’s enduringly popular conspiracy theories when they saw photos of Mrs. Trump with her husband in Alabama, as Donald Trump visited the region where a series of deadly tornado strikes claimed the lives of 23 people earlier this week, as CNN reported.

The Melania “body double” conspiracy theory dates back to at least October of 2017, when photos circulated on Twitter that appeared to show the 48-year-old, Slovenia-born former fashion model appearing somewhat different in side-by-side photographs.

Conspiracy theories about Melania Trump’s true whereabouts got a boost in May of last year, when Melania Trump, for reasons that were never fully explained, disappeared from public view for nearly three weeks, an extraordinarily long time for a first lady to go without a public appearance, according to The Guardian.

During that time, as The Inquisitr noted, the “location” listing on the official Melania Trump Twitter account switched from Washington, D.C., to “New York,” sparking unsubstantiated theories that the first lady had left her husband and moved out of the White House, returning to live in New York City.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5332930/melania-trump-body-double-twitter/




Yes that’s right – it’s fake, mon. But Trump probably doesn’t know that, or care to know that. What does he care about? Trump cares about playing favorites. It’s like a child with multiple siblings wondering which one the parent thinks is the favorite. Yes it’s your worst nightmare come to life people, and Trump is playing us with this one! He loves Alabama, but he hates California.

President Donald Trump is being accused of playing favorites after he tweeted Monday morning that he directed FEMA to give Alabama the “A Plus” treatment for disaster relief while being slow to respond to the hurricane that hit Puerto Rico and threatening to withhold funds for the California wildfires.

Critics of the president suggested Trump was playing politics with disaster relief, noting that Alabama is a reliably Republican state while California is solidly blue and Puerto Rico is majority Democratic although the island does not have federal voting rights.

At least 23 people were killed in Sunday’s tornadoes in Lee County with search efforts continuing Monday.

Trump’s critics said his tweet suggested that areas of the country that do not support him, such as California and Puerto Rico, did not get A-plus treatment.

When Puerto Rico was battered by Hurricane Maria in 2017, a Category 5 storm that killed at least 2,975 people, the Trump administration was slammed for what was viewed as a slow response to help the island. The president also got in a feud with the mayor of San Juan, whom he blamed for the depth of the disaster:
https://www.al.com/news/2019/03/trump-accused-of-playing-favorites-with-alabama-a-plus-treatment-fema-tweet.html





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s one of our famous clips without context!



No! you don’t call someone you don’t like a pedophile just because you don’t like them! Just give the middle finger like a reasonable person and move on! Spin it again! Donald Trump. Before we get into this story, I have to play the clip first because it’s definitely Trump at his most exquisite.



Yeah so that happened. I couldn’t love this story more. Every day Trump is becoming more like Kevin from the Office. It’s just a matter of time before he spills a giant vat of chili all over the White House carpets. So in a page literally from Kevin Malone, he attempts to “save time” by using one less word! Gee, me think, why waste time saying many words when few do trick? Well this is one of those things where real life is stranger than fiction. Because things like this happen.

President Donald Trump called Apple CEO Tim Cook "Tim Apple" during a meeting at the White House on Wednesday.

Trump flubbed the head of Apple's name during the inaugural meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board to discuss the importance of technology in education. The meeting was held in the State Dining Room of the White House.

"We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple," Trump said as he sat next to Cook who had a paper name tag in front of him that said "Tim Cook."

It's not the first time Trump got a CEO's name wrong.

Last March, he called Lockheed Martin's CEO Marillyn Hewson "Marillyn Lockheed."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/03/06/tim-apple-president-trump-flubs-apple-ceo-tim-cooks-name/3087515002/




Really this is like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when Larry David referred to a woman in his phone as “Denise Handicapped”. Marilyn Lockheed? Tim Apple? I mean what’s next? Jeff Amazon? Bill Microsoft? Bill Clinton Foundation? I could do this all day! And here’s my favorite part. You know how much time Trump saved by doing that? He saved exactly 0.27 seconds. He’s got places to go and golf balls to hit, people!!!

President Donald Trump says he didn’t slip up when he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” at a White House meeting.

Trump tweeted Monday: “I quickly referred to Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy way to save time & words. The Fake News was disparagingly all over this, & it became yet another bad Trump story!”

Trump made the comment last week. After the session, Cook altered his Twitter profile, replacing his last name with the Apple logo.

At a dinner for Republican National Committee donors at his Florida club Friday, Trump complained that his “Tim Apple” flub was “fake news,” said a person who heard them and spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss Trump’s remarks. Trump’s complaint was first reported by Axios.
https://www.apnews.com/f17486df9038489fba91c9974b26b637




And here’s the best part – Trump not only said that he lied, he doubled down! Trump’s lies are not just normal lies. They’re like looking at a Photoshop creation – they’re heavily layered, each layer has its’ own character, and it takes a lot of processing time and unpacking to get the full feel for what he’s trying to achieve.

Former Trump employees have warned that as objectionable as the president may sound in public, he’s even worse behind closed doors. Such was the case last Friday when Trump spoke to Republican National Committee donors at Mar-a-Lago. According to Axios, organizers were so concerned with Trump’s private comments leaking that they made attendees seal their cell phones in magnetized pouches. Though the measure may have prevented the release of audio recordings of the president’s speech, a few donors gave Axios a run-down of proceedings. They were as strange as one might expect and, yes, race was involved.

During what one donor described as a “bizarre tangent” about his seclusion in the White House over the holidays, Trump allegedly joked that Secret Service agents were wearing blackface. The donor said that Trump described looking out the curtain of the White House and seeing the agents “in the trees, on the lawn,” and that they were wearing night-vision goggles. “They’re in blackface,” Trump said, adding that “maybe they have to take them away,” because of it. The two sources who relayed the account to Axios said they assumed Trump was referencing the controversy surrounding Democratic Virginia governor Ralph Northam, who last month admitted he wore blackface in the ’80s and which everyone seems to have forgotten about.

It didn’t end there. Responding to recent comments from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) that the GOP has been using to claim she’s anti-Semitic, Trump reportedly went ahead and slapped the label on the entire party. “The Democrats hate Jewish people,” he reportedly said bluntly before going on about how much he’s done for Israel since taking office. This of course is not true. After Trump said last week that the Democratic party has become “anti-Jewish,” the Washington Post dropped some statistics proving the claim has no bearing in reality. Not only are 32 of the 34 Jewish Americans in Congress Democrats, over 70 percent of Jewish Americans voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, and a poll released in October 2018 found that 74 percent of Jewish-American voters planned to vote for Democratic candidates in the midterms.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-tim-apple-806356/




I mean ugh… it’s damn near impossible to keep track of his lies anymore. One minute he says one thing, the next minute he doesn’t admit it and tries to… yeah thanks monitor guy! That’s exactly what it’s like – for those of you viewing at home there’s footage of that Always Sunny conspiracy theory clip. But yeah the next time Trump says anything, expect him to support it… or deny it, whatever. Fuck it.

Last Wednesday, President Trump closed out a meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board by personally thanking “Tim Apple,” better known as Apple CEO Tim Cook. Video of the hilarious and now well-publicized moment is below.

This is far from the worst of the frequently confused president’s gaffes, and it’s something that would have fallen out of the news cycle by now if Trump had simply let the issue go. But Trump is, of course, unable move on and has mentioned the incident publicly at least twice since.

Axios reported this weekend that Trump told a group of donors at Mar-a-Lago on Friday that he actually said “Tim Cook, Apple” really fast, but he said the “Cook” part too softly and chalked the resulting video up to “fake news.” Two donors at the event told Axios that they were baffled as to why Trump was even bringing it up because, as one of them put it, “it doesn’t even matter!”

And on Monday morning, Trump took to Twitter to argue that he called Tim Cook “Tim Apple” on purpose as “an easy way to save time & words.” He then admonished the “Fake News” for putting out “another bad Trump story.”
https://www.spin.com/2019/03/trump-tim-cook-tim-apple-fake-news/





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[font size="8"]Leaving Neverland & R. Kelly
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Let’s spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! What? I’m bankrupt? What did I wager? All 10,000? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!



Spin it again. And it lands on Morally Bankrupt. Which leads me to my next topic – if it’s in the news, we got to talk about it. And there’s a pair of documentary movies that could potentially take down two of the world’s biggest music stars Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, for Leaving Neverland, and Surviving R. Kelly, respectively. Yeah it’s ugly and it will only get uglier especially when Michael Jackson is the number one earner on Forbes Magazine’s annual list of the Top Earning Dead Celebrities. And for the record we won’t make fun of the victims here. But we can make fun of the situation right? Well how bad is it? Michael Jackson is effectively getting cancelled.

As the release of a new documentary detailing abuse accusations against the singer Michael Jackson has prompted debate about his legacy, the public response to its contents is also leading radio stations across the globe to stop playing his music.

A radio network in Quebec pulled Jackson’s music from its nearly two dozen stations, according to The Canadian Press. In Britain, Variety reported that the BBC was forced to deny imposing such a ban after it was reported that the singer’s music had been “quietly dropped” from one of its stations.

And the backlash has led to an almost complete removal of the singer’s music from the airwaves in New Zealand, after the two largest radio networks — which own most of the country’s commercial stations — said Wednesday that they would no longer play Jackson’s songs.

In the New Zealand and Canadian cases, radio networks cited a change in public opinion about Jackson that was tied to the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part mini-series focusing on the accusations of two men who say Jackson abused them as children, as the reason for the ban. The program is scheduled for broadcast in New Zealand on Sunday and Monday.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/06/world/asia/michael-jackson-radio-stations.html




Yeah so Michael Jackson, even though the 10th anniversary of his death is coming up, hasn’t exactly had what one would call the best week. And of course you know Trump, who always takes the unpopular opinion on everything, is probably blasting Thriller and Smooth Criminal right now, because, fuck it, why not? I mean even the Simpsons pulled their famous Michael Jackson episode!

An episode of The Simpsons featuring Michael Jackson’s voice has been pulled by its producers after a powerful documentary accused the star of sexually abusing two men when they were children.

The HBO documentary Leaving Neverland, which was shown on Channel 4 this week, featured James Safechuck and Wade Robson who claimed they were sexually abused by Jackson.

The singer featured in the Stark Raving Dad Simpsons episode which aired in 1991, but his involvement was only confirmed years later. Jackson voiced Leon Kompowsky, who meets Homer in a psychiatric hospital, where he claims to be the pop star and does the moonwalk.
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/mar/08/michael-jackson-simpsons-episode-pulled-by-producers


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And even Drake, who had a collaboration with Michael Jackson on one of his albums, has since pulled the song from his setlist. I mean the hits just keep coming! So you might be asking well what’s going to happen to Michael Jackson’s estate? Well, there’s a lot to unpack from this documentary and we will bring updates as it comes along.

HBO’s blockbuster Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland,” in which two men, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, accuse the late singer of abusing them sexually when they were boys, has caused much speculation about what the allegations will mean for Jackson’s legacy — and the earning power of his estate.

The estate and Jackson’s family have fiercely criticized the accusers and the documentary — the estate filed a $100 million lawsuit against HBO — and even scheduled two rare Jackson concert films directly against the premiere airtimes of the two-part “Leaving Neverland.” The estate claims HBO violated a non-disparagement agreement it struck with the singer in 1992. “‘Leaving Neverland’ isn’t a documentary, it is the kind of tabloid character assassination Michael Jackson endured in life, and now in death,” the estate said in a January statement.

In the wake of reactions to the documentary, many of them negative, could a bad look impact the recorded-music deal between the estate and Sony Music Entertainment, the longtime home of Jackson’s recorded-music and publishing catalogs? According to the Wall Street Journal, that agreement is worth $250 million for the rights to distribute the singer’s recordings over seven years.” (A source close to the situation confirmed the figure to Variety.)
https://variety.com/2019/music/news/leaving-neverland-michael-jackson-estate-250-million-sony-music-trouble-1203156657/




Look, look… this was not an easy entry to write. I’m 100% pro first amendment. I’m not for book burning or censorship of any kind, but yeah really, I’m currently on the side of “fuck that guy”. Especially with all the other assholes like R. Kelly, what does that say about the future? Yeah I can understand Bill Cosby getting banned from everywhere, and now it looks like Michael Jackson and R. Kelly might be joining them. But really, fuck those guys.

Spotify and Apple Music have not taken action against Michael Jackson’s music catalog following the release of “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part HBO documentary that accuses the pop superstar of sexually abusing two young boys in the ’80s and ’90s. The move is a departure from the stance the two companies took against R. Kelly after the singer was hit with new accusations of sexual misconduct.

Representatives for the two leading streaming services haven’t responded to multiple requests for comment on whether Jackson’s music would be pulled from its featured playlists. Both Spotify and Apple Music removed R. Kelly’s music from its playlists last year.

Kelly was recently indicted on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse involving four accusers — three of whom prosecutors said were underage — between 1998 and 2010.

“We don’t censor content because of an artist’s or creator’s behavior, but we want our editorial decisions — what we choose to program — to reflect our values,” a Spotify rep told TheWrap last year. “When an artist or creator does something that is especially harmful or hateful, it may affect the ways we work with or support that artist or creator.”
https://www.thewrap.com/members/2019/03/05/michael-jackson-avoids-the-r-kelly-treatment-on-spotify-apple-music/





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: GoScamMe
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Let’s spin it to win it! Oh….. 10,0000… oh hey it lands on our Spiderman theme!



Yeah so for this edition like I said we’re paying tribute to one of my favorite movies of the last year, Spiderman - Into The Spiderverse. And this won’t be the only time either. So let’s spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



Go Fund Me is the world’s largest crowdfunding website. And while the intentions of Go Fund Me are good – that anyone can donate to anyone for anything, But when anyone can donate to anything, there’s bound to be some scammers and people who are abusive of the privilege. It’s a simple fact of life – if anyone can donate, it’s quite possible that you can get scammed. In fact one such story out of New Jersey that broke last November started out with good intentions, but very quickly went south. Let’s hear more.

A woman and a homeless man who fabricated a heartwarming story of compassion that drew more than $400,000 in donations on GoFundMe pleaded guilty to federal conspiracy charges on Wednesday.

Johnny Bobbitt, 36, pleaded guilty in federal court in Camden, N.J., to one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering, while Katelyn McClure, 28, pleaded guilty to a count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Sentencing for Ms. McClure is scheduled for June 19; she faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Mr. Bobbitt faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. His sentencing date has not been set.

The two also face state charges in New Jersey, as does Mark D’Amico, who was Ms. McClure’s boyfriend when the crimes were committed.

In 2017, the authorities say, the three wove an irresistible yarn. Posting to GoFundMe, a crowdfunding site, Ms. McClure and Mr. D’Amico said that she had run out of gas while driving home in the Philadelphia area, and that Mr. Bobbitt, a homeless veteran, had spent his last $20 to buy gasoline for her. The couple said they wanted to raise $10,000 to thank him and get him off the streets.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/07/us/gofundme-homeless-scam-guilty.html




Yes, that did go south very fast. But it wasn’t just a mere scam it’s a conspiracy that unfolded that has multiple layers involved from all parties involved. So who is Johnny Bobbitt, the man at the center of the case? Well, you should never trust a guy named Johnny Bobbitt, first of all. But second, yeah they picked just about the shadiest guy possible to pull off the scam.

Johnny Bobbitt, the former homeless veteran who became the face of a GoFundMe scam that netted more than $400,000 from donors, admitted Friday to knowingly participating in the fraud and spending some of the donated funds on illegal drugs.

Bobbitt pleaded guilty to second-degree conspiracy to commit theft by deception before Superior Court Judge Christopher J. Garrenger on Friday and was formally entered into the county’s drug court, a diversion program reserved for nonviolent offenders who agree to enter into a rigorous supervision and substance abuse treatment in order to avoid criminal penalties.

He is scheduled to be sentenced next month to five years of special probation contingent upon him completing the program. If he fails to comply with the drug court conditions, he would face an alternative sentence of five years in state prison.

Bobbitt, who was ordered to remain in Burlington County Jail pending sentencing, told the judge he understood his plea agreement and was not coerced into entering the guilty plea.
https://www.theintell.com/news/20190308/homeless-man-pleads-guilty-to-conspiracy-in-gofundme-scam




Yes that is a good question. Well, it is bad and it can lead to repercussions for both you and Go Fund Me, as well as the people who you scammed out of money. Not to mention that it can make life difficult from here on out that much more difficult for anyone who dares to make a Go Fund Me request ever again. So what do actual experts say you can do to avoid getting scammed? Let’s ask them.

Customers, like Garrett, began coming forward this past December, when people started posting warnings not to use cards for purchases from the Pinkys Ice Cream truck in Iowa Park and Burkburnett because they had been charged multiple times for the same purchase.

"It took me about a month because I do not use my debit card much and I just kept putting some money into my account and I was negative $10 and I was really confused," Garrett said.

Garrett said she was actually one of the lucky ones because she was able to detect it early on and Wichita Falls Police Officer Brian Masterson said that is key to help solve these investigations.

"We can try and go out and get surveillance video and potentially get the people responsible for doing this, get them arrested and put into jail and hopefully stop other people from becoming victims," Officer Masterson said.
https://www.texomashomepage.com/news/local-news/burkburnett-isd-student-speaks-out-on-being-scammed/1812730601




Actually this one is a definite scamola, Homer. But just like detecting deadly diseases, the key to beating scammers at their own game is early detection. And however, just like death, getting scammed is something that doesn’t happen until it happens. You won’t know it until it is over. But this begs the question – is everything on the internet a scam now? Why of course it is!

The internet: where you can meet new people, make new friends, learn new skills, and help new people! And also, get fleeced. The saga of a couple from New Jersey who raised over $400,000 to help a homeless man and then reportedly withheld the money from him has reached its bitter end, and it turns out everybody involved is a scammer. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning so you can fully enjoy the drama. Because there is a whole lot of it.

Back in 2017, Kate McClure and her boyfriend Mark D’Amico told a heartwarming story about a homeless man, Johnny Bobbitt, offering her his last $20 when she ran out of gas one night. Nice, right? Right. That’s what everybody thought when they read it on a GoFundMe campaign the couple started, promising to use the money to help Bobbitt secure housing and set up a trust in his name. Cue $402,000 in donations from people moved by Bobbitt’s kindness.

But then, in September, Bobbitt got a lawyer and started claiming he’d never received the money the couple raised. He did get some of it, about $75,000, which included a camper and a 1999 Ford Ranger. (Neither were registered in his name and Bobbitt lived in the camper on the couple’s property until they kicked him off in June.) Bobbitt said the pair spent the rest of the money on vacations and a new BMW. At this point, the cops raided the couple’s house and they, via their lawyer, said that the money was gone. GoFundMe donated $20,000 to Bobbitt to help cover legal expenses.
http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/11/gofundme-scam-saga-ends-in-three-arrests.html




That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

Jason Blundell and his two teenage kids, Shelby and Spencer, spent a snowy Saturday in Chadron, Nebraska, recreating their family's 1967 Ford Mustang GTA, according to the Scottsbluff Star-Herald. The Mustang stayed in the garage, of course, but its snow-replica was parked proudly out on the curb.

The "Snow Pony" took five hours to build and blew up from there, attracting admirers from across the world thanks to a family friend who added to the display. Nebraska State Patrol Sgt. Mick Downing, who attends the Blundells' church, filmed himself writing a fake tow notice for the obvious snow-car and posted it on the patrol's social media pages.

Downing, of course, never filed the paperwork to submit the notice, as it would have been legally parked if it were a real car.
http://www.thedrive.com/news/26909/ford-mustang-snow-sculpture-is-so-realistic-it-got-a-parking-ticket-from-state-trooper




I’m not really sure if you can fault the officer or you can fault the terrible parking job. Either way this one is a colossal WTF. Spin it again! oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! In times of a natural disaster, we can always turn to the good LAWRD JAYSUS for a miracle or two. However, when the most unholy, ungodly man whose name I dare not speak in my church, claims he’s a man of GAWD, then there’s certain liberties he takes with the job that he’s given on any day! You know the supporters of the unholy Dark One, painted his predecessor as a “celebrity”, but they elected a guy who is synonymous with the term “celebrity”. In fact he’s so much of a celebrity that he thinks that his opinion is greater than that of GAWD himself!

U.S. President Donald J. Trump flew to Alabama to make a personal survey of last week’s Tornado damage. Trump upset a lot of people when he signed Bibles presented to him by tornado survivors. A 12-year-old boy initiated the presidential signing spree when he gave the president his Bible and requested him to sign the Christian holy book. According to media footage, even Melania Trump, the first lady, signed Bibles.

Trump’s Bible signing activity has divided religious leaders on whether such an action is appropriate. A few are offended, while others said President Trump might have gone about his signing activity differently. One of the few who supported the president in this issue is Hershael York, Dean of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary School located in Louisville, Kentucky. He pointed out that the president signed the Bible as he was asked. He then said although the United States does not have a national faith, Americans have faith in their nation, and thus it is not surprising that people have asked politicians to sign their Bibles. Reverend Donnie Anderson is one of the many clergy members offended by Trump’s signing spree. The executive minister of Rhode Island State Council of Churches said she was deeply offended by the manner the president scribbled his signature. He not only autographed Bibles but also many other products like hats. He also posed for many photographs. As per Rev. Anderson, Trump made a calculated political move to solidify his GOP voting base. https://www.worldreligionnews.com/?p=60013




Now look, sir… just because the videos that I show may mention his name, I will personally not say his name in my church, and it is implied that my parishioners don’t either! And if you don’t like my policy, the door is THAT way! That is the way it is in the Holy Church Of The Top 10! Now, back on track. Here’s the thing – was he the first one to do it? Absolutely not! But is he the most offensive person ever to sign one? Absolutely!

Peter Manseau, the Smithsonian’s curator of religion, tells The Washington Post that other presidents have signed Bibles, too. Specifically, says Manseau, Barack Obama signed one or more Bibles during his time in office, as did George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan. Manseau did not, however, say when or where those Bible signings took place.

“From what I can tell the event [Friday] wasn’t outside the norm,” Manseau said.

Also known to have signed a Bible in his career is Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.

And though at least one evangelical was appalled by the signing of Bibles, it seems that others in the evangelical community are less put off by signing Bibles. Tim Tebow has been known to sign them, for example, and late evangelist Billy Graham signed a Bible in 2005 for a very special friend of his: that friend was Donald Trump.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5334622/barack-obama-also-signed-bibles-so-did-george-w-bush-and-president-ronald-reagan/




Did the Bibles burst into flames afterward? But this brings up a very interesting gray area. Now… is it OK for the Dark One to sign the Good Book? Well this not only divided the people who were there, it’s spawned a national debate among the holiest and godliest among us, and the people who are on the other side. So what do actual pastors have to think about this? Well let’s ask them!

- When President Trump signed Bibles in an Alabama region devastated by tornadoes, he was giving comfort to survivors by participating in a time-honored Southern tradition, some observers say. Others claim signing Scripture was inappropriate.

In the South, signatures in a person's Bible "bring back great memories of relationships and friendships and moments in our life," said Rusty Sowell, pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Opelika, Ala., where Trump signed tornado victims' Bibles March 8.

Trump and First Lady Melania Trump visited Providence in the aftermath of an EF-4 tornado that killed 23 people. The church has been used as a staging area for disaster response. While gathering at Providence with survivors, first responders and volunteers, Trump and the first lady signed memorabilia including Bibles for those who asked, Sowell told Baptist Press.

The Bible signing provoked media reports over the weekend, with some critics voicing strong opposition to Trump's actions.

Sowell said he "didn't think anything about it" when Trump began signing Bibles. The pastor noted signatures in his own Bible of friends and other significant people dating back to the mid-1970s.
http://bpnews.net/52551/trumps-bible-signing-called-southern-tradition




Even the good LAWRD is speechless on this one! By the way give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? Can I get an amen??? Well, I’ve been all over this great land of ours and I certainly don’t remember that being a tradition from any of the places I’ve ever been! That’s right, sir! But here’s why people don’t think that the Dark One should sign the Good Book!

President Donald Trump is not a liar. A liar is someone who occasionally tells mistruths. President Trump is a broken fire hose of lies. He’s a broken slot machine of lies. He’s a lie conveyor belt.

On Monday, the president lied again, this time in tweet-form, claiming that America was “starting to make a turn back” to a time when Bible study was big in public schools.

The Washington Post’s Mark Chancy noted, there was no such time in American history.

But besides that, Trump, who has routinely portrayed himself as a man of God, had to deal with a competing tweet from an actual man of God.
https://www.theroot.com/trumps-former-pastor-he-never-actually-entered-the-chu-1832233472




There you have it, a guy who claims to be the holiest among us, has never set foot in our holiest of institutions! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!



Holy shit! That’s crazy! I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Oh and hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse:



The comedy world was completely divided this week as Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to try her hand at stand up comedy. Yes, *THAT* Stormy Daniels. Professional stripper and the woman who some might argue is Donald Trump’s worst nightmare. And she’s also single-handedly responsible for ruining our childhoods more than any amount of Ghostbusters remakes ever could. So, Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to fill the late spot at the Chuckle Hut and actual comedians are split down the middle as to who really gets to fill that spot. Hey, wait a minute! That’s also what we do here! So does that mean I don’t get to play to an audience either? Oh wait, we play the coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot when there’s no possible chance of landing an audience. So let’s expand on this further, shall we?

Stormy Daniels is taking a spin at being a stand-up comedian.

The adult-film star — who’s been locked in an ongoing legal battle with President Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen — will perform at a comedy club in Houston later this month, the Joke Joint Comedy Club’s co-owner, Ken Reed, told KTRK-TV this week.

Daniels is suing Trump and Cohen to void a nondisclosure agreement about an affair she says she had with Trump in 2006. The payment over that agreement is one of the reasons Cohen was last year sentenced to three years in jail for bank fraud and campaign finance violations.

"I'm not going to judge her on her politics, or her day job, or anything else,” Reed said of Daniels’s upcoming sets. “She has an audience. She has a fanbase that want to see her. I think it's going to be a good show.”

The head of the comedy club said the idea for Daniels to deliver some one-liners came from her management team.
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/432680-stormy-daniels-turns-to-standup




Yeah so Stormy is heading to the stage everybody! Woooooooooooo!!!!! And what city will be lucky enough to witness this train wreck? Houston, Texas! And boy won’t they be so receptive there? Because Houston is prime MAGA country and I’m sure they won’t have any of it. But hey you never know what kind of audience you’re going to get!

Adult film star-turned-comedienne Stormy Daniels is taking her act on the road and starting her comedy tour in Houston.

Co-owner of the Joke Joint Comedy Club in southeast Houston, Ken Reed, says her management team reached out to him to schedule the show. He says he's gotten mixed opinions about her show coming to his club.

"I'd go see it. Check it out. See what it's about. I always like to laugh," said Aaron Holmes, a potential patron to the Stormy Daniels shows.

Meanwhile, Michael Nichols differs, saying, "Personally, not my preference, but, you know, to each his own."
https://abc13.com/entertainment/stormy-daniels-bringing-comedy-tour-to-houston/5167251/




Yes true, this is doo doo, or as some might put it, horseshit. So here’s where we get into the meat of this discussion. So actual stand up comedians aren’t having any of this. But as we’ve learned, Stormy is not the first celebrity to try their hand at stand-up comedy. Yeah we get it that comedy is not an easy profession to get into – it takes a lot of hard work to sell out the Chuckle Hut or the Joke Joint. So why so serious?

Stormy Daniels made waves after announcing a headlining gig at Joke Joint Comedy Showcase in Houston. Comedians nationwide took offense to Daniels, who likely has never done a comedy open mic in her life, headlining a comedy club on name recognition alone.

But here’s the rub: porn stars have been headlining comedy shows for years. Bree Olson made a web series, Bree Does Comedy, about an adult film star that becomes a stand-up. Sovereign Syre made a name for herself as a dual-action comedian and porn star. Ron Jeremy does a surprising number of club sets.

The prevalence of porn stars getting up onstage makes the backlash to Stormy Daniels doing stand-up only more confusing because this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Earlier this week, Laurie Kilmartin tweeted “Doing standup is not a reward for being famous. Please leave the weekend gigs for actual female comics,” in response to Daniel’s Tour Manager, Dwayne Crawford, announcing her first stand-up show in Texas. While Kilmartin says to “leave the weekends” for actual comics, the show is an independently-produced one-nighter on a Wednesday.
https://laughspin.com/stormy-daniels-upset-comedians/




Well, we would actually prefer not to do it that way. And even more and more actual comedians are speaking out against this idea. So is it a good move or a bad move? You be the judge. Of course we could and should afford a trip to Houston to witness the potential train wreck of a show, but yeah we’ll just save money and wait for the highlights to come out on Twitter! So what do actual comedians think of this move?

If you blinked and missed it, Stormy Daniels is starting her career in stand-up comedy. For the entertainers that have worked for years honing their craft, you can imagine that they would be pretty upset that Stormy gets a pass in the business just because she's got some stories to tell about Donald Trump. The former adult star will probably sell out her shows but according to Chris D'Elia, she shouldn't be referring to herself as a comedian.

When TMZ cameras caught up with the actor, he was asked about his thoughts on the move from porn to comedy. He actually gave a pretty insightful answer too. "I'm not a porn star if I just make a video of me fucking someone... I just made a video. She's not a comedian!" He goes on to say that people often look at stand-up as a second choice for when they've failed in their first career. Referring to the move as a cash grab, D'Elia notes that some of his peers are pissed about Stormy waltzing into the business so casually.

Instead of calling it a comedy tour, Chris suggests she change the name to a "public speaking" display. Let us know your thoughts on this? Does Stormy Daniels belong on the stage as a comedian?
https://www.hotnewhiphop.com/chris-delia-goes-off-on-stormy-daniels-for-starting-a-comedy-career-news.73678.html





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[font size="8"]Jared Kushner
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… wow, two clips without context in a row! What are the odds?



Yeah it’s always those damn commies isn’t it??? I swear, I can’t even anymore. Spin it again! It’s time once again to ask:



This week: Jared Kushner’s security clearance. How is this still a thing? Yes, Jared Kushner is the man who is married to Donald Trump’s DHLF Ivanka. Don’t ask us what that abbreviation means, because you don’t want to know. In case you’re wondering how difficult it is to actually obtain a security clearance to go inside the White House, it’s pretty close to damn near impossible. And the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, just hands them out like he’s handing out party favors. Kiss Trump’s ass enough or marry into his family? You get a security clearance! And why does he still have this most coveted of all clearances? Well its’ a mystery.

President Donald Trump pressured his staff to give daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner security clearance, despite objections from senior staffers, according to a report published Tuesday.

According to the report, Trump pressured then-chief of staff John Kelly and White House counsel Don McGahn to grant the clearances so that it wouldn‘t look like the president was inappropriately influencing the process, several sources told CNN. Both McGahn and Kelly refused, and Trump ultimately granted the security clearances himself, the sources said.

Last week, reported Trump demanded Kelly grant Kushner a top security clearance last year, despite the chief of staff laying out major concerns in an internal memo.

The reports contradict statements made by both Trump and Ivanka, who have denied there was any inappropriate influence in granting the security clearances.

In January, the president told the he played no role in ordering White House officials to grant Kushner top-secret clearance.
https://techstockstandard.com/trump-reportedly-pressured-his-staff-to-grant-ivanka-and-jared-kushner-their-security-clearances/36197/




So if you kiss Trump’s ass enough, you might just get top secret national security clearance. Maybe that’s the Art Of The Deal? OK, we will admit that we’ve never actually read the Art Of The Deal, we will just make things up. Which is pretty much what Trump does all day every day. That’s what happens when you don’t actually read. And when you do read, the actual headlines are pretty frightening, such as what happened when the Democrats inquired about this clearance:

The White House rejected a demand from the House Oversight Committee to turn over documents and comply with interviews concerning the security clearances of some of President Donald Trump's closest advisers, including Trump senior adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner.
The refusal to provide the documents increases the likelihood that House Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings will issue a subpoena for the information.
Cummings told CNN on Tuesday that "when you cannot get information, you cannot be a check," and said Trump's administration is "reluctant" to give the committee "the information that we need to do our job." The Maryland Democrat said that "under the Constitution, we have a duty -- it's not some witch hunt, it's a duty, a sworn duty, by the way -- to be a check on the executive branch."
The chairman added, "We will very carefully consider our next options, and we will do things that are responsible and consistent with the Constitution."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/05/politics/white-house-security-clearance-ivanka-trump-jared-kushner/index.html




That we can imagine is pretty much what it’s like behind the scenes. In fact, how did Jared obtain his security clearance? That’s something that has been under a lot of scrutiny lately. And trying to figure out why and how he has security clearance is enough to make you go WTF?. But really, just don’t try to make sense of it. Instead try to figure out how it can be taken away.

Over the last two years we’ve seen periodic news reports detailing the comedy of errors that has been Jared Kushner’s security clearance process. The story flares up, but because it seems only to be about bureaucratic paperwork, it smolders just as quickly. This is because we mostly see the “what”—the bureaucratic swindle—and not the “why.” News: It’s not boring.

Sadly, though, we can’t get around the “what” of it, so I’ll tell a short story:

Kushner, who needs a top-level clearance to do the jobs assigned to him—such as negotiating the Middle East peace process—didn’t receive a full clearance for a long, long time. When he did get cleared, it was because Donald Trump—who is President of the United States and coincidentally also Kushner’s father-in-law—overrode his national security officers and demanded it.

Why didn’t Kushner qualify? First, he repeatedly withheld information on his security questionnaire (form SF-86), which he had to amend four times. (Flag this: The omissions included meetings with foreign officials.) Kushner’s applications were so riddled with errors and omissions that when Charles Phalen, director of the administration’s National Background Investigations Bureau, was asked before Congress if he could “recall if there has ever been an applicant having to submit four addenda detailing over 100 errors and omissions being able to maintain their security clearance,” he replied he had “never seen that level of mistakes.”
https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2019/03/making-sense-of-jared-kushners-incredibly-complica.html




And by the way – the one person who could revoke Kushner’s security clearance is one of Trump’s worst nightmares – California congressman Adam Schiff, or as Trump calls him “Shifty Schiff”. But there is also this.

A White House security specialist is seeking official whistleblower protection from the federal government after raising concerns about “unwarranted security clearances" for administration officials, including Jared Kushner, according to two sources familiar with the matter.

The specialist, Tricia Newbold, filed the whistleblower complaint less than two weeks after she was suspended without pay for defying her supervisor, Carl Kline.

The complaint, which was obtained by NBC News, alleges Newbold raised concerns with Kline about a security clearance for an individual as early as July 2017. The complaint does not identify the person, but sources familiar with the situation told NBC News that it was Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and adviser.

In the complaint, Newbold says Kline "repeatedly mishandled security files and has approved unwarranted security clearances."
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/whistleblower-seeks-protection-after-sounding-alarm-over-white-house-security-n970586




This is what happens when the conspiracy theorists run the conspiracy. Extortion, racketeering, lies, and more lies – all standard operating procedure for the Donald Trump administration. That’s enough to make you ask – Jared Kushner’s security clearance:




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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Oh man I could really use a drink right now!



Of course you know the idea behind this is that we have some cocktails, and while we are cocktailing we talk about anything in the news that doesn’t relate to politics. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a jealous boyfriend story? Jealous Boyfriend IPA? OK I will try that one. And give it to me in a large glass, and don’t skimp on the pour. And I don’t know if you saw in the news over the weekend that former Yankees star Alex Rodrigues got engaged to everyone’s favorite hand puppet Jennifer Lopez over the weekend. Well, none were more jealous than former Oakland Athletics star and part time Steven Segal impersonator Jose Canseco. And let’s just say Mr. Canseco is a home run short of a cycle.

Jose Canseco has moved on from his pitch of assisting New York Mets outfielder Tim Tebow with his at-bats to taking swings at the second-most high-profile pairing of the weekend.

No, no, not Antonio Brown switching yellow for silver. Canseco is taking aim at former New York Yankees all-star Alex Rodriguez giving Jennifer Lopez a diamond he couldn’t lose on a beach.
Canseco dives in on cheating allegation

One day after A-Rod announced the engagement on his social accounts, Canseco decided to fill his time accusing the former slugger of cheating on his new fiance.

It gets worse: the woman Canseco pulled into this mess is his ex-wife, Jessica.

While J-Lo’s competition show, “World of Dance,” was airing Sunday night, Canseco delivered a string of tweets with zero facts.

“Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of s— stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez,” he tweeted.
https://sports.yahoo.com/jose-canseco-accuses-alex-rodriguez-cheating-jennifer-lopez-ex-wife-151959458.html




Oh Jose, you can’t just flat out accuse A-Rod of cheating. Oh wait, except everybody has accused him of cheating! And not just on Jennifer Lopez, either! But it gets weirder – so much weirder. Apparently Mr. Canseco has gone completely off his rocker and wants to fight A-Rod for J.Lo’s heart. Because that always works! And them’s fighting words, apparently!

One day after Alex Rodriguez confirmed his engagement to Jennifer Lopez, Jose Canseco accused Rodriguez of being unfaithful to the pop singer and actress.

Canseco on Sunday said Rodriguez was cheating on Lopez with his ex-wife Jessica.

Jose and Jessica Canseco married in 1996 and divorced in 1999.

Following his initial tweet alleging Rodriguez of cheating on Lopez, the six-time All-Star also issued a challenge to A-Rod.

Canseco's final season in MLB was in 2001. He tried his hand at mixed martial arts in 2009, losing to Hong Man Choi via first-round submission.
https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2824950-jose-canseco-challenges-alex-rodriguez-to-fight-accuses-him-of-cheating-on-j-lo




Ha ha… that’s classic. But being jealous boyfriend #1 isn’t the only crazy thing that he’s been cooking up lately. And this is too fucking good. Apparently Mr. Canseco is a hardcore conspiracy theorist who believes in bigfoot and wants to fight aliens. Yes, those kinds of aliens, sir! And nothing says Las Vegas like alien hunting. The cost? Only a mere $5,000!

Former major leaguer Jose Canseco has continued to sail off into the muddy skies of insanity, as he is promising that people who pay to spend time with him will meet a “real alien” and Bigfoot.

When last we visited former Oakland Athletics star Jose Canseco, he had decided to share his beliefs that aliens were teaching humanity how to travel through time. With concepts straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft story, Canseco proclaimed that the technology existed, at least in regards to those aliens, to send the brains of humanity through time and space. Of course, his claim that he himself had been in the future, and had seen the Super Bowl already, was proven wrong.

While there may be some doubt regarding Canseco and his treks through time, he promises that those aliens are real. In fact, if you spend the money to hang out with him, not only will you get to meet one of those aliens, but he also guarantees a Bigfoot sighting as well.
https://calltothepen.com/2019/02/17/jose-canseco-promises-meeting-aliens-bigfoot/




Yes, for a mere $5000, you too can golf, hunt Bigfoot, and go fight aliens with Jose Canseco. I just… how… what… who is this for? I mean he’s got Bigfoot ideology all wrong! Bigfoot is usually found in the forests, and there’s no forests in Vegas! Yes, sir, I’ve been there. Oh and Mr. Canseco is also trying to court Tim Tebow. Dude, Jose… you might want to take a break from humanity for a while. Go home, you’re drunk.

According to Jose Canseco …

Wait, come back. It’s not like you think.

OK, so it’s exactly like you think. Canseco is having a thought, just a few weeks after his last thought — inviting suckers, er, thrill-seekers on a $5,000-per-person excursion to hunt for Bigfoot and aliens who have communicated to the onetime Oakland A’s Most Valuable Player the secrets of time travel.

I’ll pause for a moment while you travel back in time and read that again.

That’s our Hosey (as Dave Stewart used to call his one-time teammate) — always swinging for the fences.

Here’s his new thought: He wants a job as Tim Tebow’s personal hitting coach. But only if Tebow trades his batting helmet for a tin-foil hat.

“Tim Tebow let me help you with your swing,” Canseco tweeted. “I just saw one of your bats you have no rhythm right now and you’re to rotational I will help you for free I’m a fan of yours.”
https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/03/05/jose-canseco-turns-fan-boy-makes-unsolicited-offer-to-tutor-would-be-slugger/





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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1

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Let's spin the wheel one last time this week! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy.... STOP!!! T-Shirt Cannon!!! Yes everyone will get the new Top 10 Stupidest State 2019 t-shirt! Yeah how awesome is that? Let's spin it again! Stupidest State 2019! Hit it!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1! We're here live at the home of the Arizona State University Sun Devils, the fabulous Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona! We've got two matchups of two teams and they are here and they are ready to tangle! In this corner it's a Battle of the Batshit as Kentucky takes on Maine, fresh from their triumphant return to the tournament! While in this corner, it's a Gun Nut showdown as two newcomers to the tournament look to bring their big guns to the dance - it's hot newcomer Idaho against another hot newcomer, Oregon. Who will win? Who will go home? Let's get out the bracket so you can follow along!



[font size="4"]Kentucky Vs. Maine [/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]


So of course you know the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the reigning champion of this conference since Florida bowed out and became a member of the Gun Nut Conference. Want to know Kentucky's credentials? Yes, their governor currently is Matt Blevin, who's been called one of the worst governors in the country. They're also home to two of the most horrible senators this country has ever seen - jackass and human turtle impersonator Mitch McConnell and Mr. Monkey Pancakes himself, Rand Paul. Kentucky is also the home of former Christian right hero now disgraced county clerk Kim Davis. And now they can add Nicholas Sandmann to the list! Yes, the 16 year old from the Indigenous People's March is a hero of Trump because he's going after the mainstream media for - get this - character defamation! Oh womp womp!

The legal team representing Nick Sandmann is seeking $275 million in damages from CNN, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court on Tuesday.
Nick, a 16-year-old Covington Catholic student, was thrust into the national spotlight when videos of him and his classmates interacting with others outside the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., went viral in January. He is represented by Todd McMurtry and experienced libel and defamation lawyer L. Lin Wood of Atlanta.
This is the second defamation lawsuit filed against a media company after the viral incident in Washington, D.C.
In February, Nick's legal team filed a lawsuit in federal court seeking $250 million in damages against The Washington Post. Nick's legal team also has sent dozens of letters requesting national media outlets and figures preserve evidence such as internal emails for potential lawsuits.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/13/nick-sandmann-cnn-lawsuit-covington-catholic/3149588002/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Gee if he thinks CNN is bad wait until he gets a hold of this program! Oh and his legal team? He has a whole fucking legal team? Who's paying for this? Time to follow the money. The sooner this dipshit goes away the better. But the sad thing is we probably haven't heard the last of this pathetic snowflake. Yeah he is a snowflake! He can dish it out, but he sure can't take it. Vicious attacks on him? Go cry me a fucking river.

Following a $250 million defamation lawsuit against The Washington Post, Covington Catholic teenager Nick Sandmann and his family are planning to sue CNN for a similar amount, Sandmann's lawyer said.
Lawyer L. Lin Wood announced the lawsuit in an interview with Fox News host Mark Levin. The interview is set to air on Sunday at 10 p.m. ET during the network's Life, Liberty & Levin.
“CNN was probably more vicious in its direct attacks on Nicholas than the Washington Post, and CNN goes into millions of individuals’ homes," Wood said.
Wood said he expects the lawsuit will be filed on "Monday or Tuesday" of next week.
“I've got some young, smart lawyers that are working hard as we can," Wood said. "Double-checking, and listen, when we file complaints, we've investigated it because we want to get it right. Maybe CNN can learn from that."
https://www.newsweek.com/covington-catholic-teen-nick-sandmann-sue-cnn-over-200-million-lawyer-says-1357521




[font size="4"]Maine[/font]


Maine needs no introduction to the conference. The Pine Tree State's credentials are pretty much unparalleled in the dance as they have given us Gov. Paul Le Page. They've also given us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins. But Maine, outside of the major cities, is also home to some very prime MAGA country. Which is why even though they tend to vote Blue, they also vote in some of the craziest politicians in the country. So much that they've been referred to as Canada's Florida. Well, at least on this program they have anyway. So what's Maine been up to lately? Well they attempted to censor political speech (sponsored by a republican, obviously) and it hilariously backfired on them!

A Maine Republican’s bill that sought to ban teachers from discussing political or ideological advocacy with students has been unanimously rejected by a legislative committee.

Rep. Lawrence Lockman’s bill sought to limit the types of classroom discussions teachers can facilitate and would have barred teachers from “endorsing, supporting, or opposing” court cases and presidential actions. The Bangor Daily News reports the bill faced strong opposition and was rejected Thursday by members of the Education and Cultural Affairs Committee.

Republican Rep. Gary Drinkwater says Lockman’s bill was an overreach and any issues about classroom discussions can be handled at a local level.

Republican Rep. Heidi Sampson says the Maine School Management Association has agreed to send letters to school boards about discussing sensitive topics in classrooms.

Read more: https://www.pressherald.com/2019/03/01/maine-bill-banning-teachers-political-speech-in-classrooms-fails/




That's pretty fucked up that that is where we're at in this country that politicians have to start censoring speech because it is getting so out of control. And no, we don't want to go down that road sir! And Maine can't even budget right - they have the same budget aspirations as Trump does, which is throw a whole bunch of cash that you don't have at the subject and hopefully it will go away. Huh, I don't remember that being an economics lesson!

AUGUSTA — Gov. Janet Mills laid out her $8 billion budget before the Legislature on Monday night, arguing for a proposal that expands Medicaid, spends more on the opioid crisis and returns more money to municipalities by telling lawmakers Maine “cannot afford to stand still.”

In the first budget address of her tenure as governor, Mills said that Maine “has many assets but it also has many challenges” as the state lags behind its New England neighbors on economic expansion, income growth and public health. Mills said her two-year, $8 billion budget “moves us forward” by making investments in schools, infrastructure and health initiatives without raising taxes.

“This is a pragmatic, common-sense budget that lives within our means and that delivers what Maine people want,” said Mills, a former attorney general and Democratic state lawmaker who is Maine’s first female governor.

... snip ...

“Paul LePage said teachers are ‘a dime a dozen.’ Shawn Moody lost the election when he said Maine schools are ‘overfunded.’ Based on the reactions of the Republicans to Governor Mills’ budget speech tonight, they’ve clearly learned nothing,” House Majority Leader Matt Moonen, D-Portland, tweeted shortly after Mills’ speech.
https://www.centralmaine.com/2019/02/11/mills-lays-out-8-billion-budget-proposal-before-lawmakers/




[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer! Kentucky easily routes Maine to advance to the next round of the tournament. Final score - 85 - 61, they win by a whopping 24 points!

[font size="4"]Idaho Vs Oregon [/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho[/font]


This is the first time we've seen the great state of Idaho in the tournament. Yes, the home of Boise State's infamous blue football field is home to a lot of guns. And guess what? They're not afraid to use them either! So what makes them one of the hottest states in the union that they can go and brandish their guns wherever they please? Well concealed carry is a hot topic in the Gem State but don't let that fool you into thinking that they are anti-gun. They are very much pro gun to the point where restaurateurs have to start chasing them out of public places!

Chef John Berryhill was surprised that a brief interaction he had with a small group of restaurant patrons about their guns on Feb. 21 resulted in a social media firestorm — and he said he appreciates all the support he’s received over the past week from customers.
“The whole social media thing is just huge,” he said Friday night. “There were thousands and thousands and thousands of comments from Twitter to Instagram to Facebook.”
Business has been brisk as usual at Bacon, despite a state lawmaker’s call for a boycott last weekend, Berryhill said. He’s said he’s not anti-gun, but he’s considering putting up a sign to let customers know that he does not want open carry in his restaurant.
“People have been carrying concealed weapons here for a long time, and it doesn’t bother us because you don’t know,” he said, noting that several of his friends have recently told him they conceal carry.
https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/northwest/idaho/article227014284.html




Yeah so that's how gun crazy Idaho is. But what happened with that controversial bill that would have allowed anyone with a carry permit to allow guns in schools? Well thankfully that died on the house floor, but it will be back. Yes, just like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons, this subject will refuse to go away quietly. I'm sure Trump will weigh in at some point, and when he does you can guarantee that he'll take the unpopular opinion because that's how he rolls. But for now...

A bill that would have allowed anyone with an enhanced concealed carry permit to carry guns at Idaho public schools is dead, at least for now.
House Bill 203 will not get a hearing in the Idaho House of Representatives State Affairs Committee, according to committee Chairman Rep. Steven Harris (R-Meridian).
“The bill will not be heard this year,” he wrote in an email. “This will allow more time for stakeholder involvement.”
However, the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Chad Christensen (R-Ammon) said he’s still working on the bill, though he wouldn’t specify what he might be doing to revive it.
“The chairman has cancelled the hearing,” he wrote. “However there are some things in the works.”
https://www.boisestatepublicradio.org/post/proposed-guns-schools-bill-dead-idaho-house#stream/0




[font size="4"]Oregon[/font]


Now you might be thinking "Hey wait a minute, Oregon is a blue state!". Well, the Beaver State is a blue state the same way that Maine is a blue state. In that they have a lot of areas that vote blue, but once you get outside, there's plenty of heat packing MAGA nuts to satisfy any Trump fan. Oregon may be the home to the Trailblazers and the Oregon Ducks, but they're also home to some pistol packing militia groups such as Patriot Prayer, the III%ers, and the Oath Keepers! Which begs the question - what are they keeping an oath to? Well they're proposing a controversial bill that would allow cities to become sanctuary cities for hardcore gun nuts!

A new kind of gun law is on the ballot in 10 Oregon counties this year. The so-called “Second Amendment Preservation Ordinances” would give those county sheriffs the authority to determine if state and federal gun laws are constitutional and bar county resources from being used to enforce them.
The measures represent a new legal strategy from gun rights groups.
“It’s a brand-new approach,” said Rob Taylor, an Oregon gun rights activist who is pushing these ordinances. “It’s something that really hasn’t been tried in a lot of places.”
Taylor runs the Committee for the Preservation of the Second Amendment. The group wrote and shepherded the ballot measure to Election Day with help of the Oregon chapters of militia groups like the Oath Keepers and the Three Percenters.
https://www.opb.org/news/article/gun-rights-county-ordinance-oregon-militia-douglas-county/




Yeah so sanctuary cities for guns! What a great idea! And you know what else Oregon is the home of? The Bundy Militia! Yes, the discount gun humping cowboy mafia that was recently pardoned by Trump because, owning the libs, has been under scrutiny since that infamous pardon. And in fact, even Bundy himself has got tired of the movement that he started!

Ammon Bundy, the rancher at the center of a 2016 standoff with the government at an Oregon wildlife preserve, said he is leaving the militia movement after criticizing President Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric.
Bundy shut down his social media accounts and announced that he was stepping away from “patriot groups,” BuzzFeed News reported Thursday.
He said the decision comes after he faced fierce backlash for opposing Trump’s attacks on a caravan of migrants.
"It's like being in a room full of people in here, trying to teach, and no one is listening," he told the outlet. "The vast majority seemed to hang on to what seemed like hate, and fear, and almost warmongering, and I don't want to associate myself with warmongers."
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/420224-ammon-bundy-leaves-militia-movement-after-ripping-trump-over




[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Man this was a close one that came down to the wire... and we might have our first upset of the tournament brewing here. And the winner is... OREGON!!! OREGON WINS!!! A last second 3 pointer knocks favored front runner Idaho out of the tournament and Oregon moves on. What an upset! The crowd is stunned here at Wells Fargo Center!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

For Round 1 Week 2, we're live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in fabulous Las Vegas for the hot 2nd round action! It's a rematch from last year as Wisconsin goes for broke against Nevada's gaming industry, while Indiana faces off against tournament newcomer Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rival Sons[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Long Beach. You can see them on tour through April including a sold out show at the Henry Fonda Theater on May 9th, their latest album is called “Feral Roots”. Playing their song “Too Bad”, give it up for Rival Sons!




Thank you UCB Theater for our 3 week homestand! We’re off to Atlanta next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
Stupidest State Hosting: Wells Fargo Arena, Phoenix, AZ
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 13, 2019, 05:00 PM (1 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots



NO!!!! You don't call someone a pedophile because you don't like them. It's the worst kind of character assassination possible. Instead you give them the finger and tell them to fuck off like a rational person would!

*audience applauds wildly*

This week the Top 10 is all new live from our home in Hollywood with the famous Wheel Of Corruption! We delve into the GOP's super secret underground elite pedophile ring, Trump gives special FEMA favors to states that voted for him, we ask how Jared Kushner's security clearance is still a thing, we break down the R. Kelly interview, and Leaving Neverland divides Michael Jackson fans. We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - can Stormy Daniels make it as a stand up comedian? Yeah we thought so too. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at an epic Go Fund Me scam and tell you how you can avoid getting scammed on the crowdfunding website. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is stunned that the unholy Dark One is signing copies of the Good Book! Seriously, WTF!!! Plus we also have an all new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and sing the final swan song for Blockbuster Video, which is down to just one location. What's going to happen to Russell Crowe's jockstrap? And it's finally time! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here! We kick off the 1st round action live from Phoenix, where Kentucky takes on Maine for the Batshit Crown, while hot newcomer Idaho brings their big guns to the dance against Oregon! Plus we have some live music from Rival Sons!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Mar 9, 2019, 01:53 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please stop asking me to read your updated privacy policy involving cookies because we both know that ain’t happening. Welcome back everyone! Ooh and it’s my favorite segment of the year – time for our annual Stupidest State selection Sunday! Whew!!! OK… so I’m always one to try new things but this reminds me of a classic scene from the Simpsons. Do we have time for the thing? OK so I don’t know if you have seen this viral Twitter post or not but there’s an Uber driver based out of Seattle that’s received a lot of attention for his controversial “ride menu”. And the menu consists of 5 options – the Stand Up ride, where he tells you about some crazy stories he’s been involved in. Then there’s the silent option – where obviously he and you both shut up for the entire ride. That would personally be my pick as long as I could put my headphones on and listen to music. Then there’s the Charlie Brown-esque “Therapy Ride” where he plays psychiatrist and listens to your personal problems. Not my thing but I’m sure there’s people out there like that. Then there’s my favorite – the “Creepy Ride” where you don’t say anything and he stares at you super creepy like during the entire ride. But I really want to see “The Rude Ride”, where he is extremely rude to you the entire ride. Oh I so badly want to know what the “Rude Ride” is like, because you know me, I go for comedy. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into what’s really coming to take your jobs, and it ain’t illegal immigrants.



Wow, where do we begin this week? Well to start with, Trump’s fixer, Michael Cohen (1) turned the tables on the Mueller investigation and not only squealed, squealed hard on his former boss, we will tell you all about that. Taking the second slot this week, is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and well, he went to North Korea and threw the parents of Otto Warmbier under the bus while praising Kim Jong Un. Yeah that happened. For the third slot this week, we have to talk about CPAC. Yes, there was a ton of batshit crazy in one room at the annual conference that gives conservatives a platform to say “fuck you liberalism”. In the number 4 slot, everyone’s favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones was on the Joe Rogan podcast and it was quite the stuff of insanity (think Tracy Jordan’s interview with Larry King on 30 Rock level of crazy) and we will break it all down for you. Taking the 5th slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week – California does everything better including our natural disasters, and two towns are literally drowning in it, in a piece called “The Flooded City”. For the 6th slot this week, we have of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive and go behind the scenes on a controversial new anti-abortion movie being distributed called “Unplanned” and it’s crazy. Taking the 7th slot this week, we have a new installment of “Beating A Dead Horse” – so Trump wants to sign an executive order for free speech after a TP USA recruiter got punched in the face at UC Berkeley, but like all things he does, it could be a colossal disaster and backfire on him big time. For the number 8 slot this week, we have a new segment – “What’s Up With France?” because we’ve been meaning to get to the Yellow Jacket protests for some time, so we will do that this week! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have one of our favorite segments and it’s “People Are Dumb” but this week it’s the “Hey, drink less” version of People Are Dumb. And finally it’s my favorite time of year! It’s that time of year when we throw the doors open to our Stupidest State contest! And this week it’s Selection Sunday! Yes, we will have all the teams, stats, odds, and info that you need to fill out your bracket, and we do encourage gambling here! Plus we have some live music from the Fever 333! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Recap: A Whole Lotta Batshit Crazy
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Whew. So…. That happened. In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I’m talking about the annual “fuck you liberalism” convention known as the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. There’s a lot to unpack here, you know, kind of like when you’re moving a medium size business to a new location. Wait, when did we have an electric typewriter? Yeah it’s that kind of unpacking – it’s full of surprises and we’re still finding out things that we didn’t know we had. I mean fuck, we actually had *THIS*:



Here we have it. Somehow conservatives take more offense to kneeling in front of the flag as opposed to treating it like your fuck buddy on the side. Because really, you can't unsee this and it's more offensive than what Colin Kaepernick did. Thank you! But moving on, This might be my favorite thing Trump has said so far.

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1101909407041024000

Yes, he actually made the claim that democrats want a train to Hawaii. Funny, I don’t remember that being part of the party platform! And we’re the crazy ones? GTFO!! By the way if you want a rundown of the crazies things Trump said in his 2 hour rant, there’s this:

38. "You know, somebody said, 'Oh, the speech you made, sir, the State of the Union speech was incredible.' They said it was incredible. They said that was so great."
Who is this "somebody"?
39. "I didn't want to get it approved for a certain reason, because I thought somebody treated me very badly. Very badly. Don't get that vote very often. And I said, you know, I don't want to get it."
Trump is making clear here that he is not happy that he helped get drilling in ANWR approved because Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R) wanted it to happen and he didn't want her to get something she wanted. Because she doesn't vote with him enough. Totally fine!
40. "By the way, you know I'm building the wall. We're finishing the wall. We got a lot of money. It's in the thing."
It is, indeed, in the thing.
41. "We have people in Congress that hate our country."
WOW WOW WOW.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/04/politics/donald-trump-cpac-speech/index.html




Damn straight! Then we had a meeting of Jerry Falwell Jr and Donald Trump Jr, or the meeting of the rich entitled fuckwads who’ve never had to work a day in their life:

Today, CPAC featured a remote panel discussion held at Liberty University that largely consisted of L.U. president and sycophantic Trump supporter Jerry Falwell Jr. interviewing Donald Trump Jr. Though the panel also featured Falwell’s wife, Becki, Trump Jr.’s girlfriend and Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle, and Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk, the discussion was completely dominated by Falwell Jr. and Trump Jr., both of whom griped that Democrats had intentionally scheduled a congressional hearing featuring President Trump’s former personal attorney, Michael Cohen, to coincide with the summit that Trump was attending with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un in order to undermine the president.

Falwell Jr. said that if President Obama had been attending such a summit and Republicans had scheduled such a hearing, “everybody would be screaming, ‘That’s treason, you’re working against the United States’ chance to get peace with a nuclear power.'”

“Think about what that does when the other side is seeing that going on simultaneously,” Trump Jr. agreed. “You’re going to have a good negotiation with that going on in the background? But that’s the reality. The left hates Donald Trump much more than they love America. They would rather see failed nuclear peace talks than give Donald Trump even a little bit of a win.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/donald-trump-jr-the-left-hates-donald-trump-much-more-than-they-love-america/




No, dipshit, we hate Trump because we love America, and Trump is burning down everything that makes this country great. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is going, look no further than Glenn Beck, seen here doing his best impression of Col. Sanders, where the GOP is taking this country, and well, they’re deranged. I mean seriously they cant even get their horror movie villains right:

Glenn Beck kicked things off at CPAC this morning by attempted to explain the horrors of socialism by likening it to the “Friday The 13th” horror movie series.

“If socialism were a movie, socialism would be ‘Friday The 13th,'” he said, “because it seems to always stalk college co-eds who all think that the death and violence is just a scary story that never happened. And they are so convinced that it will never happen to them that they mock the old person—the one person in town who saw it first hand—they call him crazy, a nut who still believes in ghost stories.”

“And then, they’re all dead,” Beck continued. “And then Jason, his body disappears, and only the old guy who saw it coming saw that the body is gone. And we have sequel after sequel, it happens time and again, in movie theater after movie theater, and in country after country.”

“Stop trying to hook up in some cabin in the woods and prepare, because Jason is coming,” Beck warned. “He’s right behind you, and this time he’s coming with a hammer and a sickle.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/glenn-beck-socialism-is-just-like-the-friday-the-13th-movies/





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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The guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, had quite the week. We already saw how completely unhinged he was at CPAC (and the democrats are the crazy ones, right… ). But we got to talk about the other thing he did which was meet with murderous psychopathic dictator Kim Jong Un, who Trump calls a “swell guy!!”. The greatest ever! What, are they gonna bone? Bump uglies? Well the bromance between the two was in full swing in Hanoi last week:

With nervous world capitals looking on, President Donald Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un are beginning their second nuclear summit with a one-on-one discussion and an intimate dinner as hard questions swirl about what the American president will demand and Pyongyang might be willing to give up.

The two leaders and their aides encamped in Hanoi after long journeys by plane, train and automobile — Trump on Air Force One, Kim in an armored railcar and limousine — for two days of talks addressing perhaps the world’s biggest security challenge: Kim’s nuclear program that stands on the verge of realistically threatening targets around the planet.

Although many experts are skeptical Kim will give up the nuclear weapons he likely sees as his best guarantee of continued rule, there was a palpable, carnival-like excitement among many in Hanoi as final preparations were made for Wednesday’s summit opening. There were also huge traffic jams in the already congested streets.

Trump was opening his visit in morning meetings with Vietnam’s president and prime minister before turning his attention to Kim. Official greetings with the normally reclusive leader will give way to a short one-on-one discussion before what’s being described as a social dinner with an exclusive guest list. The White House said Trump will be joined at the dinner by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney. Kim, too, will have two aides with him, and there will be translators for each side.
https://www.apnews.com/872da8b73d8f4b35a41f6a904b9e55f3




So Trump is cozying up to murderous dictators like Kim Jong Un. Now you might be thinking “HEY! That sounds straight out of Russia’s playbook!” Well, the answer to that question is – you are absolutely correct about that!

Moscow confirmed plans Monday for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to visit Russia for a meeting, the details of which are still unclear.

"There is no clarity now. The contacts have been ongoing through diplomatic channels. Indeed, this visit is on the agenda and there was an invitation," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters, according to Russian news agency TASS. "We hope that in the near future the exact date and venue will be agreed on through diplomatic channels."

Russian President Vladimir Putin said earlier that Kim had been invited to Russia, although he has not given details on what the leaders planned to discuss, according to TASS.

The North Korean leader finished his second summit with President Trump in Hanoi, Vietnam, last week.
https://thehill.com/policy/international/russia/432541-kremlin-confirms-plans-for-kim-jong-un-to-visit-russia




Yes that’s Putin’s playbook all right! But the big message we got here was Trump’s treatment of Otto Warmbier. Remember him? Well, by cozying up to Un, Trump is basically throwing Mr. Warmbier’s parents under the bus. Just like he did with the parents of Katie Steinle. Guess that’s part of the art of the deal? Well it’s a bit more complicated than that.

When Otto Warmbier was returned to the United States in 2017 and died shortly afterward, President Donald Trump condemned the North Korean regime for the imprisonment and suspected torture of the college student who was arrested in 2015 for alleged spying.

"You are powerful witnesses to a menace that threatens our world, and your strength inspires us all," Trump said, addressing Warmbier's parents, during his 2018 State of the Union address. "Tonight, we pledge to honor Otto's memory with American resolve." He added in that same speech: "We need only look at the depraved character of the North Korean regime to understand the nature of the nuclear threat it could pose to America and our allies."

Fast forward to Thursday in Hanoi, when, at a summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, Trump said this of Warmbier and North Korea: "He tells me that he didn't know about it and I will take him at his word." Trump added that Kim "felt badly about it. He felt very badly."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/28/politics/donald-trump-otto-warmbier-kim-jong-un/index.html




Yeah go ahead, stick your thumbs up at that one. The GOP and Trump basically told Otto Warmbier and his parents to go fuck himself. But this will haunt Trump for the remainder of his days. Every presidency has someone like this. But the difference? Before now, none of them had access to social media the way we do in the Trump era.

President Trump on Friday sought to clean up his widely criticized claim that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un did not know about the treatment of U.S. college student Otto Warmbier, saying “I hold North Korea responsible” for Warmbier’s “mistreatment and death.”

In a pair of tweets, Trump claimed that his initial comments at a Thursday news conference following his failed nuclear summit with Kim were “misinterpreted.”

Trump’s new comments, however, do not directly address whether he believes Kim bears responsibility for the death of Warmbier, who died in 2017 shortly after being released from a 17-month stint in a North Korean prison. He had been sentenced to 15 years of hard labor after allegedly stealing a propaganda poster while on a tour of Pyongyang in January 2016.

Asked about Warmbier during his post-summit news conference in Hanoi, Vietnam, Trump said he took Kim at his word that the North Korean leader was unaware of Warmbier’s treatment in prison.

“He knew the case very well. But he knew it later,” Trump said of Kim. “And, you know, you’ve got a lot of people. Big country. Lot of people. And in those prisons and those camps, you have a lot of people. And some really bad things happened to Otto. Some really bad things."
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/432255-trump-says-his-remarks-on-warmbier-were-misinterpreted





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[font size="8"]Michael Cohen
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Trump is a classic mob boss. He’s got his ass kissers (Hannity, etc), his unhinged attorney (Giuliani), he’s got his clean up guys (the Christian right), and he’s also got people who are his fixers. One such guy is his former attorney Michael Cohen. We’ve previously covered Michael Cohen squealing against his former boss in Idiots #5-22. If that’s the Art Of The Squeal, think of this as its’ next logical sequel, The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder.

A lawyer for Michael Cohen first broached the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump's legal team, two people familiar with the matter tell NBC News, and the ensuing pardon discussions are now under examination by House and Senate intelligence committees.

The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that Cohen’s lawyer, Stephen Ryan, first mentioned the idea of a pardon with the Trump legal team in the weeks after the April raid on Cohen’s home and office, and that the president’s lawyers, including Jay Sekulow, Rudy Giuliani and Joanna Hendon, dismissed the idea. But at least one of them, Giuliani, left open the possibility that the president could grant Cohen one in the future, the Journal reported.

NBC News spoke to three people, one of whom is familiar with what Cohen told the House and Senate intelligence committees, one of whom is familiar with Cohen’s account, and one of whom is familiar with the account of Trump’s legal team.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/michael-cohen-s-lawyer-was-first-bring-pardon-trump-attorneys-n979576




Yes that is a good question! We all know that Trump has the worst attorneys and Michael Cohen is no exception. But what this does bring into question is how much did this hurt Trump? Well if you’re guessing very little to no damage, you’re probably correct.

Poet Maya Angelou made a lot of profound remarks during her literary career. But the one that has always stuck with me is what she said indirectly about apologies.

“When people show you who they are, believe them,” she once said. When quoting Angelou, most people just end it there. Out of context, the statement begs an answer to whether an apology can reverse what someone has shown himself to be.

We have been asked to forgive a lot of people lately. Along with Roseanne Barr, the most difficult for me has been Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer and self-proclaimed henchman.

If we are to believe him, Cohen did Trump’s dirty work for 12 years, acting as the go-between for questionable activities targeting anyone who stood in the way of the businessman’s quest to make an extra dollar. Now, Cohen says he is sorry.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/glanton/ct-met-dahleen-glanton-michael-cohen-liar-trust-20190304-story.html


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But here’s where it gets weird, because, why wouldn’t it? Michael Cohen apparently sought a pardon from Trump last year and Trump wouldn’t give it to him. I mean gee, I really wonder why? Usually when you turn against a mob boss, the first priority is to give you the cement shoes, not a get out of jail free card!

An attorney for Michael Cohen raised the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump’s lawyers after federal authorities raided Cohen’s residence and office in April, The Wall Street Journal reported, citing people familiar with the talks.

Congress is now investigating those conversations, documents requested by the House Judiciary Committee revealed on Monday, the Journal said.

The pardon discussions happened as Cohen’s attorney at that time, Stephen Ryan, was working with Trump’s lawyers to determine whether documents seized by the FBI during the April raid were protected by attorney-client privilege, sources told the Journal.

The report comes days after Cohen told lawmakers on Capitol Hill last week that he never asked for a pardon from Trump, and that he would not accept one. The Journal article noted there was no evidence that Cohen himself asked for a pardon or was aware of the alleged pardon discussions.
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/05/michael-cohens-attorney-approached-trumps-lawyers-about-a-pardon-wsj.html




Yeah but the bottom line here is don’t squeal. I mean you know the old elementary school adage about how snitches get stitches. Just… don’t go there. But if you do go there, just make sure you have backup otherwise your boss will go down with the ship, and take you with him!

Analysts are still picking through all the crimes in which Michael Cohen directly implicated his former boss, President Donald Trump. Among the most significant crimes are those offences that were part of the articles of impeachment written for prior presidents. That historically notorious list includes acts of suborning perjury and obstructing justice, which can arise from either directing or encouraging a person to lie to federal authorities. It is for this reason that Cohen is apparently now searching through different electronic versions of his draft congressional testimony from 2017 to show that Trump’s other personal lawyers at the time edited Cohen’s written testimony to mislead Congress.

If and when those drafts are presented to Congress, it will be important to scan not only for what they said about the Moscow Tower deal, but also the passages on “collusion” more broadly. That’s because Cohen also testified last week that the President told Cohen, who was also one of Trump’s personal lawyers at the time, to lie to Congress in 2017 about his knowledge or beliefs about collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
https://www.justsecurity.org/62785/trump-told-cohen-lie-congress-collusion-general-not-moscow-tower-deal/





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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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It’s been a while since we checked in with our old buddy Alex Jones, who has gone considerably more and more off the deep end. It’s like that superhero movie where everyone has a point where they hit rock bottom. Deadpool 2 had a great bit about this. “It’s like in the Human Centipede, when those people signed on to be in that movie”. This may be no human centipede, but it’s definitely what one might call a clusterfuck. So, Alex Jones wouldn’t exist without Joe Rogan, and Joe Rogan wouldn’t exist without Alex Jones. Well, the two have been in a ridiculous feud over the last month and it is quite magical. Here’s how it started.

"I came here, and I proved they're keeping babies alive and taking their organs," Jones said. "The Senate voted Monday to keep it legal...They f***ing did it, Bravo. And you can't f***ng admit they're killing already-born kids, so you're telling me it isn't real when they had a f***ing vote in the god***n f***ing Senate."

"That's a conspiracy theory," Bravo responds.

"I am ready to beat your f***ing ass," Jones answers. "You think you're f***ing tough, you're about to get it. Bull***t, they're killing already-born babies. Stop f***ing lying, god f***ing d***it. I'm getting pissed now."

Bravo later said he believed that politicians were campaigning for late-term abortions. "I'm being the ultimate skeptic."

When contacted for comment, an InfoWars representative sent Newsweek articles about late-term abortion, including a Slate report dating to 2012. "I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are simply ignorant, and not malicious or mentally challenged. Please educate yourself before you accuse people of promoting conspiracy theories, and maybe We The People will start respecting you, instead of holding you in derision and contempt for being fake news," the representative wrote. "This was already a thing in 2012."
https://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-joe-rogan-war-meltdown-conspiracy-theory-baby-organs-harvested-1347887




Whew. That escalated quickly! And what is it with these guys and child molesters? It seems like everything comes back to that. Think of it like 6 Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a satanic interdimensional child molestor! So like all celebrity feuds, it escalated very quickly.

Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing.

I suppose this turn from the former pals was destined once Jones got 86'd from every respectable content mill on the Internet and thus became a little too hot to handle. Jones will yell at anyone (dead children included) if it’s good for business, and his totalizing worldview—or, rather, the totalizing worldview he hustles to the saddest and most gullible people online—dictates that anyone opposed to him is an agent of George Soros or the deep state or the gay frogs or whatever.

Jones and Rogan have, by their own admissions, been friends or at least acquaintances since the early 2000s, and they’ve appeared on each other’s shows (I don’t know the context for this picture, but it’s tremendous.) The trouble started last summer, shortly before Jones was banned. In a podcast with Dave Rubin last June, Rogan was critical of Jones’s Sandy Hook truthering (of which he says he was unaware when Jones came on his show in 2017) as well as muffuletta-brained conspiracy theorist Roseanne Barr’s insistence that Holocaust survivor George Soros was a Nazi.
https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/alex-joness-feud-with-joe-rogan-is-just-as-stupid-as-it-1832631491




Yeah Alex probably needs to stop talking. Especially when he and Joe Rogan kissed and made up and Joe Rogan invited Alex over to his podcast, and well, he went off the rails. I mean was he smoking some good covfefe or bad covfefe? I don’t know, don’t ask me how that shit works!

As Alex spluttered his way through his misunderstanding of news headlines and sci-fi stories, Rogan nodded along, assuring Jones that he wasn’t mocking him. “I believe you,” was the most Rogan had to add to this conversation, other than validating Jones’ sob story of facing consequences for labeling the grieving parents of school shooting victims as “crisis actors.”

Jones being barring from Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, along with facing a defamation lawsuit or two, has caused the man to dramatically shift his position on Sandy Hook. But he’s still a firm believer in just about every conspiracy theory out there, with the amusing exception of Flat Earth. As delusional as he is, even Alex Jones knows the shape of the world.

Listening to Jones’ barrage of mouth diarrhea, an imaginative blend of Nazis, aliens, human-animal hybrids, psychedelics and pedophilia, one is left only with an impression that we live in a terrifying, chaotic world, crushed under the weight of the rich and powerful.

Really, that concept isn’t too far removed from the truth; all Jones does is add some sci-fi and fantasy elements to the mix, supported by his insanely energetic delivery. He’s a storyteller, his worldview not too dissimilar from the overarching plotline of the Marvel universe, a tale of aliens, gods, and intelligent machines, albeit with an extremely sinister undertone of racial IQ pseudoscience.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danidiplacido/2019/02/28/alex-jones-and-joe-rogan-made-peace-with-a-bizarre-podcast/#544193327da3





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Flooded City
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



California just does everything better. Including our natural disasters. You may have tornadoes and hurricanes. We have intense rains, floods, fires, mudslides, and the possibility of disastrous earthquakes and tsunamis, both of which we’ve been warned about since the dawn of time. And for our troubles, what does president Donald Trump give us? Basically a rock while his favorite states get the A+ treatment. Yes, this is a real thing. And what happens? He ignores disasters like this. Recent downpours in the Central Valley, near the Russian River area of the state, have turned the life of two cities upside down and inside out as intense flooding has led to this.

The raging Russian River, swollen to near its highest level in a quarter-century, flooded 2,000 homes, killing at least one person and turning parts of two northern California towns into "islands," this week, forcing residents to use kayaks and canoes instead of cars.

After reaching its crest of 45.3 feet late Wednesday — about 15 feet above flood stage — the river slowly receded Thursday.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom declared an emergency for five of the flooded counties. Officials ordered about 3,500 people to evacuate and about 2,000 homes, businesses and other structures were flooded up to 8 feet deep.

Located about 80 miles west of Sacramento, the towns of Guerneville and neighboring Monte Rio were the two hardest-hit communities. Residents paddled kayaks down watery streets on Thursday, but people should be able to drive to the towns Friday, officials said. Another half inch of rain may fall in the North Bay late Friday and early Saturday, the National Weather Service said, but not enough to significantly raise main rivers.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/02/28/california-flooding-raging-russian-river-turns-2-towns-into-islands/3013348002/




Yes so there’s two towns – Guernville and Monte Rio, both of which have been cut off and are now only accessible by boat. Thanks to the Russian River being at the highest level that it’s been in decades, maybe even a century. But people close to the ciites have painted a far grimmer portrait of what life is like in these towns.

The Russian River rose to its highest level in a generation late Wednesday, flooding storm-battered neighborhoods up and down the main stem and turning several lower river towns into islands disconnected from the rest of Sonoma County because floodwater and mudslides closed major roads.

Thousands of people were displaced as the roiling river escaped its banks and flattened into a broad expanse of brown plasma that swept through vineyards, riverside neighborhoods and other low-lying areas, swamping cars and picking up all kinds of debris, including a dumpster and port-a-potties seen carried away in the swift current.

The river crested at 45.5 feet at 10 p.m. after three days of staggering rainfall that in the wettest areas west of Healdsburg surpassed 20 inches.

Even Santa Rosa boasted a three-day total of 8.76 inches from the atmospheric river that stalled overhead, the National Weather Service said.

The resulting flood is now on record as the worst since New Year’s Day 1997, during which the river rose to 45 feet in Guerneville, and the sixth worst since 1940. The largest flood recorded occurred in 1986, when the lower river there crested at 49.5 feet.
https://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/9329310-181/flood-waters-cut-off-russian




Unfortunately that didn’t really happen though. The reality of this is far worse than you might think. But if you think the worst is yet to happen, you haven’t seen anything yet. We have more than the worst possible outcome ahead of us. What we are seeing in Guernville and Monte Rio is only the beginning, expect things to get much worse.

Major flooding along the Russian River in Sonoma County, California, has prompted evacuations and left two towns accessible only by boat.

County officials issued a mandatory evacuation order for the Russian River area, following a massive mudslide near Monte Rio on Tuesday.

A state of emergency was declared for Sonoma, Amador, Glenn, Lake and Mendocino Counties on Thursday following the destructive flooding and mudslides.

Following relentless rainfall, the Russian River quickly surpassed major flood stage early Wednesday. On Wednesday night, the river exceeded 45 feet - nearly 14 feet above flood stage. The river is now receding.

A slow-moving storm moved into the West Coast, and brought heavy rainfall that has occurred over northern and central California [Monday and Tuesday], according to AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Frank Strait.
https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/thousands-of-homes-businesses-flooded-as-water-levels-on-russian-river-in-california-begin-to-recede/70007561




That is more like it. And if you do live in an area that’s prone to intense flooding, you might want to come prepared as well, it could get worse. And there’s no amount of Go Fund Me or insurance you can get that could possibly fix what’s about to happen. Insurance may cover your house and all of your possessions, but what happens if your entire town is fucked? Be prepared, because the worst is yet to come!

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.
https://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-ln-mega-storm-dam-failure-20190218-story.html




That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation!! You know we live in troubled times right now and nothing helps you relax more than a good book or film does. And they’re all just entertainment. Or are they? You know our brothers and sisters on the right are planning something in that world because they claim that Hollywood doesn’t speak to them. Well, they are planning a movie called “Unplanned”. Which they claim is a love story that involves abortion. As Deadpool said, all great movies start with a vicious murder don’t they? There is always that. But what is going on with this movie? We shall find out!

Former Planned Parenthood employee turned pro-life advocate Abby Johnson revealed back in September that she was working on a film that would chronicle her journey. This week, Pure Flix released the trailer for “Unplanned,” a movie Johnson hopes will inform and inspire viewers.

“Unplanned” will hit theaters everywhere March 29.

As Faithwire previously reported, the $6 million production was secretly completed in Oklahoma. The low-key filming process was deemed necessary given Johnson’s unpopular testimony — she’s already been sued by Planned Parenthood once.

Former Planned Parenthood Director Reveals Why She’s Desperate for People to Escape the Abortion Industry

Johnson, a former clinic director at Planned Parenthood, quit her practice after watching a procedure take place via ultrasound. In that moment, she realized that what she thought was compassionate women’s health care was really a deceptive industry that harmed and exploited women and children.
https://www.faithwire.com/2019/02/01/pure-flix-drops-trailer-for-highly-anticipated-unplanned-movie/




I mean seriously, guys. This is about as horrible as it gets. Can I get an amen??? And if you want to see something really fucked up guess what kind of rating this movie got? It got an R rating for it contains matter of a sensitive subject and I mean even it makes the good LAWRD cringe!

One of Hollywood’s biggest faith-based film studios has found itself in an unlikely battle with the movie industry’s higher power: The ratings board.

Pure Flix, the Christian-aimed studio behind PG-rated box office hits like God’s Not Dead 2 and The Case for Christ, was recently informed that next month’s anti-abortion drama Unplanned would receive an R rating, the first in the studio’s history. That could make it a tough sell for the company’s traditional family-friendly audience.

According to a report in The Hollywood Reporter, the controversial Unplanned received the rating due to a series of graphic abortion scenes. The R was handed down by the Motion Picture Association of America, the decades-old trade association that’s responsible for providing guidance for theater owners and parents. Most American theaters won’t exhibit films unless they have an official MPAA rating of G, PG, PG-13, or R (an R stipulates that theater owners not allow anyone under 17, unless they’re accompanied by a parent or guardian).

The ratings board includes less than a dozen voting members, all of them parents, who discuss the film after screening it. Filmmakers can contest their rating, but the appeals process can slow a film’s release, and doesn’t always result in a new rating.
http://fortune.com/2019/02/22/mpaa-pure-flix-anti-abortion-film-unplanned-r-rating/




Yes, WTF LOL indeed! So if we extrapolate this, a pregnant teenager can get an abortion but can’t go see a movie about getting an abortion! I mean even the good LAWRD JAYSUS right now is going “Well that’s pretty fucked up!”. And yes we can swear in my church, good sir! And if you cant handle the heat, you really need a safe space. And by the way, if conservative parents need to have movie ratings explained to them, they really need to get out more!

The organization says the R-rating on 'Unplanned' was for "some disturbing/bloody images" and was in no way politically motivated.

Pure Flix Entertainment, the family-friendly label known for distributing God’s Not Dead and a few dozen other movies aimed at Christians, will release its first R-rated film next month — and it is none too happy about having to do so.

The film, Unplanned, tells the true story of Abby Johnson, who defected from Planned Parenthood to become a pro-life activist. While the filmmakers were certain they were making a PG-13 film, the MPAA has informed them that it will, in fact, be rated R unless all scenes of abortions are removed or altered.

The filmmakers are refusing to change anything, putting Pure Flix in the awkward position of having to open an R-rated movie on March 29. The company's other releases, roughly two dozen movies, were all rated G, PG or PG-13.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/mpaas-r-rating-anti-abortion-film-disputed-by-distributor-pure-flix-1189183




So apparently they have no idea how ratings work because they’ve never made a movie with graphic images before. And then, well, do you think Abby Johnson’s story might be, well fabricated? Of course it is, because the film industry lies, and lying is a SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of SINS!!! And that is a no in the eyes of the LAWRD!

At lunchtime on October 5, in the East Texas town of Bryan, a woman walked through the rear door of the Brazos Valley Coalition for Life office, which is one block west of a Planned Parenthood clinic. She was crying. It was the thirteenth day of the Coalition’s annual 40 Days for Life event, in which anti-abortion activists maintain a 24-hour vigil outside the front gate of the clinic, one of the few places in East Texas where a woman can obtain an abortion. The three staffers on duty immediately recognized the woman. It was the clinic’s 29-year-old director, Abby Johnson. “I want out,” she told them. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I know it’s not right.”

Stunned by Johnson’s sudden appearance and concerned about how distraught she seemed, the staffers sat with her, in a room ordinarily used to counsel pregnant women in crisis, until Shawn Carney, the Coalition’s director, arrived. Carney knew Johnson by sight—he had spent a lot of time on the sidewalk in front of the Planned Parenthood clinic—but he had never had a lengthy conversation with her. Carney, who is 27, had begun working at the Coalition as a volunteer, just as Johnson had at Planned Parenthood. Like Johnson, he had quickly been promoted to a position of leadership. Nothing like this had ever happened to him in his short career as an activist, and he could barely contain his excitement.
https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/the-convert/




And that is a good question oh LAWRD!!! There you go! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives want to hold America’s colleges and universities accountable for their choices in freedom of speech issues. Here’s the thing, Nazis, you have every right to say what you want to say just as much as I have a right to call you a Nazi! See what I did there? The thing is, conservatives can cry free speech all they want to, that doesn’t mean that anyone has to pay attention to what you have to say. I mean comedians will tell you that. You can stand up and get in front of a room and say literally anything you want. Does that mean people will listen to you or what you have to say? No, they’re taking pictures of their food and posting them on Instagram! So what has got their underwear in a wad this week?

President Donald Trump vowed Saturday to sign an executive order requiring colleges and universities to "support free speech" in order to be eligible for federal research dollars.
"If they want our dollars, and we give it to them by the billions, they've got to allow people like Hayden and many other great young people and old people to speak," Trump said in part of his two-hour long speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland.

The President did not offer any more details on the order.

Trump was referring to Hayden Williams, a conservative activist who recently made headlines after he was allegedly punched in the face at the University of California Berkeley earlier this week. The President brought Williams out as he made the announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, he took a hard punch in the face for all of us," Trump said.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/02/politics/trump-executive-order-colleges-free-speech/index.html




Oh oh please go on!!! See, America’s colleges and universities are places of inclusion, and they don’t want your messages of hate. If you start preaching hate, you’re gonna get punched in the face, it’s a fact of life, Trump, and the sooner you face that the better. Now if you extrapolate this, let’s take a look at the incident that got Mr. Williams punched in the face:

A 28-year-old man has been arrested on a felony warrant in Berkeley after a search for the person who assaulted a conservative man on UC Berkeley’s campus, authorities said.

Zachary Greenberg was arrested Friday and was being held in Alameda County jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon likely to produce great bodily injury, according to the university.

Greenberg allegedly approached Hayden Williams on Feb. 19 in Sproul Plaza as Williams stood in front of a table for the conservative group Turning Point USA.

According to a viral video of the incident, Williams began filming the altercation and was shoved and punched in the face by the man authorities later identified as Greenberg.
https://www.sfchronicle.com/crime/article/Man-arrested-for-punching-conservative-at-UC-13656686.php




Whoa whoa whoa… Turning Point USA is still a thing? You mean those guys who got ridiculed for wearing diapers at Kent State? Those people? Why am I not surprised? And why am I also not surprised that Trump has made this his pet cause? Well let’s expand on what was being said that led him to getting punched. Yeah I know it’s Fox News, but fuck it, I’ve got a show to do here!

Hayden Williams, 26, who was assaulted while helping recruit conservatives at U-C Berkeley, told Fox News that places of higher learning are aggressively hostile to diversity of thought.

“I can tell you firsthand, over the past few months I’ve been doing this, and this is a very disturbing trend at multiple universities across the country,” he said Monday on “The Todd Starnes Show” about the xenophobia that conservatives are experiencing on college campuses.

Two men last Tuesday approached his table at the University of California, Berkeley where the activist was recruiting members to the conservative group Turning Point USA, although he is not a member himself. An argument ensued and Williams held up his cell phone and began filming the two men who were allegedly harassing him.

One of the two men knocked over the table, police said, and then punched Williams several times, causing injuries to his face. Much of the incident was captured on a witness’ cellphone.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/activist-assaulted-at-berkeley-says-campuses-embedded-with-culture-of-hostility-to-conservatives




There really is a Simpsons GIF for everything! And you know here’s the thing – assault, even if you’re punching a Nazi, isn’t cool. And neither is this. Trump could open a huge can of worms that wasn’t meant to be open by signing this order, because guess what? Freedom of speech applies to both sides! I have a right to freedom of speech as much as you do. But Trump doesn’t care, he thinks he is only president of Fox News viewers and that’s about it. What do actual colleges think of this? Well, it could be a disaster!

President Trump's announcement of an executive order that threatens to cut off federal research money from colleges that do not support free speech has drawn criticism from different corners of academe, including proponents of campus speech, like Robert J. Zimmer, president of the University of Chicago and an avid free-speech champion.

This past weekend Trump announced his plan for the executive order at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. He presented the plan after discussing an incident in which a volunteer with the conservative group Turning Point USA, Hayden Williams, was punched in the face last month in the middle of Sproul Plaza, at the University of California at Berkeley.

In an email to the Chicago campus expressing his concern, Zimmer wrote that the executive order "would be a grave error for the short and the long run."

"I believe that any action by the executive branch that interferes with the ability of higher-education institutions to address this problem themselves is misguided and in fact sets a very problematic precedent," Zimmer wrote.
https://www.chronicle.com/article/U-of-Chicago-President-Says/245817?cid=wcontentlist_hp_latest





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[font size="8"]What’s Up With France?
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Oui, oui!!! Welcome, misour and madam. Because we are going to find out exactly what is going on with the riots in Paris. We are going to find out what is going on in Gay Pariee! Because the French people are not happy with their president, and are fueled by hate on social media. Oh fuck it, I cannot do a proper French accent. But I am wearing this ridiculous artist getup because we got to talk about what the fuck is up with France. So before we get into what’s going on exactly, who are the Yellow Jackets and what do they want?

President Emmanuel Macron is once again finding that the French do not respond well to reform.

Thousands of demonstrators known as "Yellow Jackets" due to their fluorescent garb descended into the streets across France over the weekend to protest planned tax hikes on gas.

In Paris, the rallies turned violent Saturday with blazes set on the world-famous Champs-Élysées avenue while masked protesters waved the French flag. Police responded to skirmishes with water cannons and tear gas. More than 100 people were arrested.

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The “Yellow Jacket” activists — named after the neon vests French drivers are obliged to carry in their vehicles in the case of roadside emergencies — want Macron to call off the tax increases.

Motorists have blocked highways across the country since Nov. 17, setting up barricades and deploying conveys of slow-moving trucks.

Around 280,000 protested in the streets across the country that day, with 106,000 people attending rallies on Saturday, according to French Interior Minister Christophe Castaner.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/who-are-france-s-yellow-jacket-protesters-what-do-they-n940016




Well that is a good question! Apparently these guys are. It started all over a tax and then somehow the original meaning of the protests got lost. But how ugly is it getting? Well it’s veering dangerously into ape territory as feces are being flung at law enforcement officials, which goes to answer the old grade school question “who flung poo?” Well these guys did!

Furious protesters threw human waste in bags at police, with up to three officers reported to have been covered in the excrement during a violent clash. Police trade union official Rudy Manna said: “Three policemen were soaked through with it. “The policemen were deeply humiliated.” He added those responsible were among 1,000 protesters and could not be identified as a result.

The incident happened on Saturday when the officers hit were attempting to shepherd protesters away from a public area in Marseille, southern France.

Local police in Marseille confirmed the disturbing claims, and added one policeman even suffered an elbow injury when hit by a “poop-filled projectile”.

Similar incidents have also been reported during Yellow Vest protests around France.

Police said on social media demonstrators have been arming themselves with “cacatovs”, Molotov cocktails but filled with caca.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/1095524/yellow-vest-protesters-france-human-faeces-police-Rudy-Manna-emmanuel-macron-fuel-hike




Oh sure it’s all harmless fun until poop and Molotov cocktails are involved. I get the Molotov cocktails – the melee weapon of choice, but why do you have to bring poop into it? That just makes you look crazy, and that’s about it. But really this has gone on long enough, but how much worse can it get? Oh it can get a whole lot worse!

For more than three months, Yellow Vest protesters have been demonstrating against French President Emmanuel Macron’s government. For Act 16 of the protests, the Paris local government authorised a route from the Arc de Triomphe to Place Denfert-Rochereau in the south of the city.

The Facebook group “Yellow Vests Act 16: Insurrection”, meanwhile, had called on demonstrators to “go back to the movement’s roots” with the “spontaneous” approach that “scared the government” with undeclared protests at unauthorised sites in November and December.

Demonstrations were also planned in cities throughout France, including Marseille, Nice, Bordeaux, Strasbourg, Nantes and Toulouse. In the northeastern city of Lille, protest organisers called on Yellow Vests throughout the region – as well as in neighbouring countries such as Belgium and Germany – to converge on the city. “The fight is international”, said a statement on the Facebook event page for the Lille demonstrations.

According to Interior Ministry figures, 39,300 Yellow Vest protesters demonstrated nationwide on Saturday, including 4,000 in Paris. The numbers are down slightly from last Saturday, when 46,600 protesters took to the streets across France, including 5,800 in the capital. The official figures are generally disputed by the Yellow Vests.
https://www.france24.com/en/20190302-yellow-vests-protest-france-act-16-paris-gilets-jaunes




Yeah that’s kind of about how it’s going over there in France. Although I do not want to be a downer, there is some good news in all of this. In fact these psychopaths’ protests are actually good for French President Emmanuel Macron, because, guess what? His popularity is increasing because of these protests. Say what?

PARIS (Reuters) - French President Emmanuel Macron’s popularity has recovered to levels not seen since “yellow vest” protests broke out in mid-November as support for movement wanes, a poll showed on Monday.

The share of people who consider Macron a good president rose to 32 percent this month, where his popularity was when the protests first started, the Odoxa poll showed.

His popularity has crept higher since hitting 27 percent - the lowest point so far in his presidency - in December as protesters rampaged through central Paris and other cities smashing windows and burning cars.

Macron has faced the biggest challenge to his authority from the protests, which started over the high cost of living but spread into a broader movement against the 41-year-old former investment banker and his pro-business reform drive.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-france-protests-politics/macrons-popularity-gains-as-yellow-vest-support-wanes-poll-idUSKCN1QE0DX





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And we could do this every week because there’s tons of these stories and they’re all insane. But I want to start with this story coming out of North Carolina. So… Girl Scouts, what’s up? Especially when they work in the freezing cold weather. And this guy thought he was doing a good deed by buying their whole supply of Girl Scout cookies and well, it turned out to have the opposite effect because he was wanted for multiple counts of drug possession.

A good Samaritan who bought a trove of cookies from shivering Girl Scouts on Friday evening was arrested Tuesday on federal drug charges, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration. Detric Lee McGowan was charged with conspiracy to import and distribute fentanyl, heroin and cocaine. He was also charged with racketeering and conspiracy to defraud the United States.

Tuesday's charges are unrelated to McGowan's generosity on Friday, when he bought an entire stock of cookies from Girl Scouts in front of a Greenville, South Carolina, grocery store so the girls wouldn't have to continue standing in the cold.

"Nobody was hurt. Nobody was threatened," Karen Kelly, a vice president of the local Girl Scouts chapter, said in an interview with the Greenville News. "We had no reason to believe that this man was anything other than one of our valuable customers. . . . This is now in the hands of law enforcement and of course we will cooperate with authorities."

Local media reported Tuesday evening that the DEA confirmed McGowan's arrest that day and confirmed he was the man who appeared in the viral social media photo, adding a bizarre coda to a story that was, fleetingly, feel-good.

On Friday, the 8-year-olds were behind the booth for nearly two hours when a man believed to be McGowan exited the BI-LO supermarket. He bought seven boxes of cookies and handed the girls $40, telling them to keep the change, recalled Kayla Dillard, a troop co-leader who was supervising the sale.
https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Man-who-saved-Girl-Scouts-from-the-cold-by-buying-13648816.php




Yeah so maybe if you’re wanted for drug possession, maybe don’t do anything that will get you on the news. You should probably lay low and go to a safe house. Next up – we go to our favorite state of Florida because you know they always bring the crazy. And this is one of those stories “Hey how did that get up there?” Well… here’s your answer!

Wesley Dasher Scott, 40, was busted in early-January on separate warrants charging him with possessing marijuana and drugs without a prescription. While being frisked by an arresting officer, Scott denied having any illegal items hidden on (or in) his body.

However, during a subsequent strip search at the county lockup, Scott "removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them" to a jailer. But while he had fished the items from inside his body, Scott claimed the syringes “were not his.”

Seen above, Scott did not reveal who purportedly owned the needles (or where he supposedly found them). In addition to the existing drug counts, Scott was charged with introducing contraband into a correctional facility, a felony.

But prosecutors subsequently opted not to pursue the contraband charge against Scott. The brief declination notice came as Scott agreed to a plea deal on the pot and prescription drug charges. Scott was sentenced to 40 days in jail and ordered to pay $550 in fines in connection with the misdemeanor convictions.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/contraband/no-charges-for-keistered-contraband-275931




Well that’s a pretty obvious answer to that question! Next up – creepers! And look… here’s the thing if you’re going to be a creeper, there’s no good way to talk yourself out of the situation if you get caught creeping. And if you do get caught, maybe I don’t know, don’t wear anything that’s easily identifiable, like a gorilla costume!

A man allegedly broke into a Louisiana home wearing a gorilla costume and hid under a bed before police arrested him.

The Sulphur Police Department said it got a call about a suspicious person allegedly wearing the get-up, going in and out of yards and peering into homes, according to KDFM. Police identified the man as Jeremie Moran.

When police approached Moran and told him to stop, he allegedly went through the front door of a home. Since the back door was also open, cops initially believed Moran had left the house.

After doing a search, authorities said they found Moran hiding under a mattress, dressed in a gorilla suit. He was arrested and booked on several charges, including resisting an officer, unauthorized entry and meth possession, the Associated Press reported.

It is unclear if Moran has a lawyer.

http://www.cbs8.com/story/40014203/police-bust-man-wearing-a-gorilla-suit-hiding-under-a-mattress




Yeah well he probably already has a lawyer. But really don’t go creeping is the takeaway that you should get from this story. And you know what else is fucked up? This isn’t the first story involving a gorilla suit this week! Because everything is funnier when a gorilla suit is involved. You got marital problems? Put on a gorilla suit. Get in trouble at work? Gorilla suit. And this. Gorilla suit.

Police in Sulphur, a city about 20 miles east of the Texas border, responded Wednesday evening to a call about a suspicious man--dressed in an all-black outfit--prowling around homes and peering into windows.

During a subsequent search of the home, cops found Moran (seen above) beneath a mattress. He was wearing a "black gorilla suit" at the time, investigators say.

Moran tussled with cops trying to handcuff him, but he was eventually subdued and placed under arrest. He was charged with multiple offenses, including unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling, methamphetamine possession, resisting a police officer with violence or force, and wearing a mask or hood in public.

Asked about the defendant's gorilla outfit, a police spokesperson said that "the only reason" Moran would have opted for the costume "was the possibility of the drugs he was using." Cops released the below photo showing a portion of the gorilla costume. (1 page)
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/gorilla-prowler-caged-628403




Finally this week – dumb products. Yes, even products can be dumb. And what’s dumber than combining your favorite breakfast cereal with beer? This reminds me of a classic Simpsons scene from way back in the show’s 5th season. Well, when you see it, you’ll get it.

Do you love Lucky Charms so much that you would like the marshmallowy cereal taste in your beer?

Smartmouth Beer is introducing its Saturday Morning Marshmallow IPA on March 2 in an all-day event that will also showcase trivia and food vendors.

“Join us as we flashback to those Saturday Mornings when you rolled out of bed and were lazy all morning watching your favorite cartoons and playing video or board games. We’ll celebrate those mornings with the release of Saturday Morning IPA that is made with pounds of marshmallows, some of which we toasted, along with tropical fruity Calypso hops. The result is magically ridiculous,” said Smartmouth Beer in a Facebook post.
https://wtvr.com/2019/02/25/lucky-charms-flavored-beer-to-launch-this-weekend/?utm_campaign=trueAnthem:+Trending+Content&utm_content=5c749ee74b73850001dbf9ab&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter




That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Ladies and gentlemen!!! It is time to commence the 3rd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! Yes, the National For Fuck’s Sake Association is back for yet another year and another round of conservative stupidity and insanity represented from all corners of this great country that we call the United States of America. Of course the winner gets the much coveted DeLay Trophy, named after all time champion coach Tom DeLay took his home state of Texas to a whopping 8 consecutive titles and is known as the winningest ever!



[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome welcome welcome!!!! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor to be back for a third year in a row representing this fine organization! We have the four corners of conservatism tanned, rested, and ready to go! Which of course you know by now – are god, guns, greed, and complete batshit insanity. Before we begin, I would like to thank all of our teams for putting up a great regular season and we had some of our best attendance ever. I’d also like to thank last year’s champion Florida for exerting the kind of dominance necessary to win the tournament. Now, let’s get the official business out of the way and explain the rules. For the first four rounds of the tournament, we’ll see two matchups consisting of four teams duking it out for superiority. Then the second round will focus on 8 teams vying for a position in the Final Four – 1 round each. Then we will have two matchups for the final four before heading into our championship. And since we do encourage gambling here, we will provide you with smocking guns (yes, the typo is intentional!) and statistical odds to help you build your bracket and select the winner! Let’s do this thing!



[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]


The oldest and most distinctive conference in the NFFSA, the Batshit Conference is also the largest conference consisting of a whopping 22 states. These states are all dedicated to flinging the finest guano east and west of the mighty Mississippi. These are the states that elect politicians as crazy as the people in the districts that they represent. There’s plenty of drugs and booze going around and some absolutely crazy stories that come out of these states. The states where election rigging and hanging chads are possible thanks to a voter system that simply, quite frankly, doesn’t care. The Batshit Conference: We don’t care and it shows!

1. Kentucky: Last year’s #2 seed gets upgraded to a number one seed this year! Yes, the Blue Grass State – the state responsible for giving us the two worst senators the United States has ever seen – is back. They are tanned, rested, and ready to tangle with this country’s craziest people and representatives!
Smocking Gun: That MAGA hat wearing kid from the Indigenous People’s March is planning to sue the Washington Post for $250 million! Yes, $250 million!
Odds: 2:1 – The Blue Grass State stacked their team with lots of hot young talent and they are expected to go very far!

2. Maine: The Pine Tree State, the state that gave us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins, was noticeably absent from last year’s tournament mainly due to the fact that they finally got rid of batshit crazy former governor Paul LePage. However, Maine, or as they’re known as Canada’s Florida, definitely isn’t out of the woods yet as they have experienced lots of political turmoil in the last couple of years!
Smocking Gun: Thanks to some serial abusers of their health care system, it is on the verge of economic collapse. Yeah.
Odds: 5:1 – They have the talent to go very far in this tournament, especially when they were underdogs the whole regular season.

3. Georgia: A newcomer to the tournament but a long time contributor to the batshit conference, this is the Peach State’s first appearance in the 3rd annual NFFSA tournament and they are looking to rumble! Atlanta may be the burgeoning Hollywood of the East Coast but that doesn’t mean that the outside areas aren’t full of meth addicted, big truck driving crazy people!
Smocking Gun: Last year’s election between Stacy Abrams and Brian Kemp is *STILL* being fought a year later!
Odds: 7:1 – They are a newcomer to the tournament and they are a very young team that got really hot at the right time. expect them to go far!

4. Texas: Yes, the champions just won’t quit! They are always the odds on favorite to win this conference, but injuries and trades have made them feel the pain in their division. Especially when they take on their division rivals Florida but now they are facing the very real possibility that they could get knocked out of the first round. Texas had better bring their A game to the tournament.
Smocking Gun: El Paso has been at the center of Trump’s border wall fight amid controversy and guess what? Trump is wrong in his claims!
Odds: 7:1 – While injuries plagued Texas during the regular season, their craziness and insanity surrounding the wall may elevate them to another level! One to watch for sure.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]


While you’re struggling to make ends meet and your boss enjoys an extra zero on his paycheck, which already has enough zeroes on it, you’re in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. Since 1952, all of the teams in this conference have corporate sponsorships and wear them on their sleeve that way you can tell if they’re being sponsored by Koch Industries or the Walton Family. You can barely afford one car to and from work you say? Your boss owns twenty! Your watch is being held together on your wrist by an extension cord? Your boss owns 15 Rolexes! Bentleys and private jets? They got ‘em! Big money is for chumps. These guys are about the even bigger money, the tax breaks, and the economic hell that they’ve sunk us in! The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Proudly Going For Broke since 1952!

1. Wisconsin: The home of the Green Bay Packers jumped to a number one seed this year because, they’re trying to court one of the world’s most notorious “job creators” in Chinese mega conglomerate Foxconn and are in the process of getting Art Of The Deal’d by Trump and his cohorts. Never mind that former coach Paul Ryan retired, this is going to be a far bigger disaster!
Smocking Gun: Shortly before the democrats took power, the GOP attempted a coup in the state to reduce the state’s new governor of his power.
Odds: 2: 1 - One of the odds-on favorites to win. They got hot at the right time and expect them to stay hot during the tournament.

2. Nevada: The gambling industry got a huge upgrade from their appearance in the tournament last year, and with the gambling industry comes loads of hardcore corruption and other possible faults. In fact the gambling industry was severely affected by this year’s Super Bowl and expect them to look to bounce back.
Smocking Gun: Nevada may be in the process of legalizing weed, but look out for employers who would rather new applicants fail a drug test.
Odds: 5-1: They have a lot of great young talent, but then again, look who they’re up against in this conference.

3. Alaska: A newcomer to the tournament, the oil and gas industry has been attempting to drill in Alaska’s nature preserves for decades now, while the state comes back time and time again doing their best Will Smith impression and saying “Aw, hell naw.”. But the state has even worse problems and the destruction of our environment is but a small footprint in the state’s other problems.
Smocking Gun: A møøse wandered into a høspital….
Odds: 7:1 – The Last Frontier could be a huge upset in the tournament, they got hot in divisional play at the right time. Expect them to go far.

4. Michigan: The Wolverine State is back! Yes, they have a new governor and yes the state is kind of slightly starting to turn around, but Michigan’s financial woes and their extreme fiscal irresponsibility continue to plague the state. They missed out last year but they are back and ready to tangle!
Smocking Gun: It’s been 3 years and no matter how much money they throw at it, Flint *STILL* does not have a functioning water system.
Odds: 2:1 – Michigan has the talent and skills necessary to own this conference and expect them to go very far.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]


Oh Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children? Well, they definitely think about children way too much in this conference. It’s the conference where anti abortion values and toxic religion trump the most basic laws of sense and common decency. Sure, Jesus may be on the license plates in this conference and they’re ready to tear down the walls separating church and state. They are coming after your wombs faster than you can go after their guns. But when you’re born, you are on your own because the morals and values crowd only cares about those who are in the womb as opposed to out of it. It’s the states where Christian rock and old school fire and brimstone religion dominate the radio airwaves. And mothers and fathers should definitely lock up their daughters before they consider dating anyone. The Family Values Conference: Proudly Giving The Fetus More Rights Than You Since 1789!

1. Indiana: The home of vice president Mike Pence is also one of the country’s most religious in the Bible Belt. In fact Indiana has embraced some old school religion and has more active churches than any state in the Midwest. Of course with that kind of fire and brimstone comes all the problems associated with it like teen pregnancy and escalating hate crimes and abortion rates.
Smocking Gun: Indiana is considering a fertility law that really only affects one person who did something extremely horrible.
Odds: 5:1 – They aren’t the odds on favorite as a #1 seed but expect them to do go at least to the conference championship.

2. Mississippi: The Magnolia State *STILL* refuses to let go of the Confederacy and old school values. In fact one of their elected senators Cindy Hyde-Smith, has openly made racist and sexist jokes during speeches. And their family values credentials run deep as they have one of the highest abortion rates in the entire country.
Smocking Gun: Mississippi public schools won’t admit kids if they have a pre-existing condition such as Type 1 Diabetes. Oh won’t someone please think of the children?
Odds: 10:1 – A long shot and Mississippi’s street cred has earned them notoriety, but they still got a long way to go to prove themselves on the court!

3. Ohio: The Buckeye State loves them some old timey fire and brimstone religion and they are home to one of the highest concentrations of churches in the entire country. Ohio also has one of the highest concentrations of hospitals in the entire country. So much that there’s even hospitals that could potentially go out of business, screwing up a whole lot of patients and especially female patients!
Smocking Gun: Ohio’s new governor swore in on a stack of not one, but TEN Bibles. Wow.
Odds: 2:1 Ohio has built up an insane team to where they could possibly own the Flyover League and the entire tournament. But they do have some strong competition.

4. Alabama: The reigning champion of this conference has won the flyover league no less than 9 times. And they are stacked and ready to tangle when they go up against the big guns in this contest. Yes the state responsible for Roy Moore and Mike Huckabee is still producing some fresh young talent not seen in this conference in a long time!
Smocking Gun: Alabama is allowing Bible studies in public schools – as an elective *wink wink*.
Odds: 5:1 – The all time champions of this tournament could go very far and possibly win the Flyover League! Ones to watch for sure!

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]


If you’ve got an itchy trigger finger and your paranoia about the US government coming to take your guns away is growing by the day, this is the conference for you! it’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. You live in an area where you are surrounded by barbed wire and electric fences, and you and your neighbors are stockpiling weapons and ammo because, reasons. This isn’t mere target practice, this is a 24/7 lifestyle brand where you literally take your semi-automatic rifle on a dinner date to Chili’s, because, owning the libs. Yes, the government might be coming, but it’s not for your weapons, it’s for you. You take the words “Shall Not Be Infringed” just a little too literally and have Don’t Tread On Me flags tattooed on your sleeves. The Gun Nut Conference: Proudly Shall Not Be Infringing since 1789!

1. Florida Last year’s champions *AGAIN* ranks as the number one seed in this conference and for good reason. In the last year they elected notorious NRA A+ rated governor Rick Scott to the US Senate and elected raging racist Ron DeSantis as their new governor. In the time since Parkland, Florida’s state legislature has shown that they simply don’t give a fuck about mass murderers and their victims.
Smocking Gun: In the year that the Parkland Students have become anti-gun activists, they still don’t get recognized for their activism.
Odds: 10:1 – They may be a number one seed, but the volatility of Florida Man still remains to be seen. Will he come out fighting or do something stupid? We shall see!

2. New Mexico: Another newcomer to the tournament. The Land Of Enchantment is of course the home of notorious drug kingpin Walter White may be close to legalizing marijuana, but they are not without their fair share of problems. They’re also home to some nefarious ICE agents and border patrol militia men who can go toe to toe with some of the country’s best. Or worst.
Smocking Gun: The NRA is trying to squash what they call a “New York Style” gun control bill in the state senate. Oh the horror!
Odds: 7:1 – They got in the tournament thanks to a one-game playoff. But if they advance expect them to do some conference damage.

3. Idaho: There’s a lot of heat being packed and some open, in your face style NRA Trump lovers in the Pacific Northwest. And the further north you go of Boise, the more in your face it is. If you want guns, Idaho has a whole lot of them, and is about to make things that much worse if the NRA gets their way on school security! Not to mention Idaho is right next door to Montana and there’s plenty of paranoia and doomsday prepping abound!
Smocking Gun: Idaho could potentially make school shootings that much worse if a controversial concealed carry law passes!
Odds: 2:1 – Idaho got the number 1 pick in the draft and it showed. They had a strong showing in the regular season and got hot at the right time.

4. Oregon: Wait, Oregon is a blue state. What? Well they’re a blue-ish state in really Portland and Eugene, and that’s about it. Once you get outside of the major cities in Oregon, there’s lots of heat being packed and shooting first and asking questions later. Portland is also the home of notorious hardcore right wing militia groups like the Bundy Ranch, III%ers, and Patriot Prayer – all of which have attempted to stir up shit in downtown Portland and around the country.
Smocking Gun: Oregon is one of the first states to try a controversial gun seizure program, but is being met with some extreme protests.
Odds: 5:1 They had a strong showing in the regular season but injuries were abound, so don’t expect them to go too far, but look who they are up against.

The Bracket:

If you want to play along, here's a bracket that you can fill out for betting predictions, and you can follow along throughout the tournament:



The Schedule:

That’s it! Here’s the run down of the schedule:



Next Week:

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 1 and we’re live at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, Wells Fargo Center, in Phoenix, AZ, for the 1st round action! Kentucky brings their batshit to the tournament against Maine, while strong newcomer Idaho brings out their big guns against Oregon!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Fever 333[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a great new band from Los Angeles, you can see them on tour with Bring Me The Horizon now, and in August with Korn and Alice In Chains at the 5 Point Amphitheater in Irvine, CA on August 30th. Their latest album is called “Made An America”. Playing their song “We’re Coming In”, give it up for Fever 333!




See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Mar 6, 2019, 06:01 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-8: The Thing From Uranus Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-8: The Thing From Uranus Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Book now and get triple your frequent flyer miles an double cash back points when you reserve with our new Top 10 Signature Rewards Card! We are back everybody and whew, that was quite the road trip! We had fun but it is good to be back home for a few weeks. And man did we have quite an insane week last week? It’s going to take a lot to break it all down for you. Do we have time for the thing? Good. OK so did everyone watch the Oscars this weekend? I mean yeah it was a complete mess of an award show. There were ups, there were downs. I love that Black Panther got some much needed recognition and that one of my favorite flicks of last year, Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse won Best Animated Movie. That was awesome. And then there was Billy Porter who won the red carpet this year and probably the next five years as well with his huge man gown tuxedo. And I mean really, Green Book? That was the movie you go with? That was the best picture of last year? I mean over Black Panther – one of the best superhero movies of all time and a real milestone for Marvel? Or Blackkklansman? Or A Star Is Born? Just…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I will say that this is one of the least memorable groups of Best Picture winners ever. Although everyone has their beefs with the Oscars. I’ve said mine, and it’s good to get that off my chest. I’ve been holding it in the last week. Not a shit joke, sir! OK that’s enough of the intro. But first you know what? Fuck it, I really didn’t find a talk show clip I really liked over the weekend so while on the subject of the Oscars let’s play the Honest Trailer of the Oscars which was better than that entire 5 hour presentation:



Whew, there's so much to unpack from the last week, we don't know where to begin. Well in the top slot this week, is Patriots owner Robert Kraft (1) - yes, he got arrested for soliciting prostitutes so I guess you could say that the Patriots had *TWO* happy endings this year. Hey o!!! For the second slot this week, is Christopher Hasson (2), aka the latest MAGA terrorist, and he might be one of the stupidest attempted murderers alive - really, we can't make this shit up. Taking the third slot this week is Jussie Smollet (3). No, he’s not conservative, but this whole thing with his attack just gets weirder and weirder and weirder and we will break down the most recent developments in this whole mess. In the fourth slot this week, we’ve got of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (4) and hey everyone, do you have your July 4th plans ready? Well your favorite president (sic) has made them for you! For the fifth slot this week, we have a new installment of our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, and this week, we’re going to talk some hate crimes. HATE CRIMES!!! Specifically the alarming rate at which they’re rising in the last two years. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Trump did something surprising and announced that his administration is going to work to decriminalize homosexuality around the world, but with Ralph Drollinger and Paula White as his spiritual advisors, our resident pastor suspects something sinister is afoot and looks to get to the bottom of the Christian right blame game. At number 7 this week, we have a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and the early reviews for Captain Marvel are in! Woo!!!! But that’s not the subject of discussion for this topic. No, we’re going to talk about the *OTHER* reviews for Captain Marvel coming from right wing trolls! And really if you’re shocked by this, you’re in the wrong place! For the 8th slot this week, we have a new installment of “How Is This Still A Thing?” and really people, haven’t you learned by now not to talk to Roseanne Barr? Because she is batshit fucking crazy and we will find out why interviewing her is still a thing. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new installment of "I Need A Drink" and we're going to get drunk and take a look at a story about an unclaimed lottery ticket in South Carolina that could be worth BILLIONS. Yes, that’s right – BILLIONS! Finally this week, sadly, folks, we must say goodbye to our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries. But not before we take one last look at the State Department! Plus we’ve got some live music from the great Cypress Hill! Yes, the world’s foremost stoner band has graced us with their presence! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Robert Kraft
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Yeah so the New England Patriots… really? You got to woo that? One of the many challenges of doing this in front of a live audience. So, the New England Patriots beat the Los Angeles Rams *AGAIN* to win their 6th Super Bowl in their 10th appearance. Say what you want about Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, but there’s another member of the Patriots squad who’s getting some really happy endings and becoming just another old sex pervert. I’m talking about their owner Robert Kraft, who got caught up in a sex scandal of his own over the weekend.

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is facing charges of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was twice videotaped paying for a sex act at an illicit massage parlor, police in Florida said Friday.

The 77-year-old Kraft was one of 25 people involved in the alleged solicitation at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida.

Michael Edmondson, spokesman for the state attorney's office in Palm Beach County, told ESPN that the nature of any charges that the 25 people face will not be released until next week.

The potential charges come amid a widespread crackdown on sex trafficking in Florida from Palm Beach to Orlando. Hundreds of arrest warrants have been issued in recent days as result of a six-month investigation, and more are expected. Ten spas have been closed, and several people charged with sex trafficking have been taken into custody.
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/26055197/patriots-owner-robert-kraft-facing-charges-solicitation-prostitution




You know I’m a Rams fan, and I take absolutely no delight in watching an old republican white male get busted for sex crimes, and it’s not in my nature to kick a man when he’s down. But in this case I will make an exception, damn it! Oh and by the way what was Tom Brady doing there when he got arranged? I don’t think I would want to see that.

The quarterback has his owner’s back.

Tom Brady was photographed spending quality time with — and at one point hugging — New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft Monday, just days after Kraft was charged with soliciting sex from prostitutes in Florida.

The snaps were taken on a Boston tarmac after Kraft, 77, and Brady, 41, exited the former’s private jet in from Los Angeles, where they’d been celebrating Oscars weekend, according to TMZ, who obtained the photos. Brady’s wife Gisele Bündchen was also present.

In one photo, the two walk side by side as they appear engaged in conversation, and in another, Brady leans down to pull Kraft in close for a hug.

The intimate moment echoes that of the apparent kiss the quarterback shared with Kraft after their Patriots beat the Los Angeles Rams to win the Super Bowl on Feb. 3.
https://people.com/sports/tom-brady-robert-kraft-hug-prostitution-charges/




Seriously, is Tom Brady in love with Robert Kraft or is he in LOVE with Robert Kraft? Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Oh and here’s where it gets weird! Because of course it is going to get weird, why not? Want to know why Robert Kraft wasn’t at the game where the Patriots won the AFC title and went to the Super Bowl? He was in Florida soliciting for sex! Even he’s been there, done that!

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft visited a Florida massage parlor for sex acts the night before and the morning of last month’s AFC Championship Game, authorities said Monday in documents charging him with two misdemeanor counts of soliciting prostitution.

Kraft is one of hundreds of men charged in recent days as part of a crackdown on prostitution allegedly occurring in massage parlors between Palm Beach and Orlando. Ten spas have been closed and several people, most of them women originally from China, have been charged with running the operation.

The 77-year-old Kraft was chauffeured to the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in a 2014 white Bentley on the evening of Jan. 19, where police say they videotaped him engaging in a sex act and then handing over an undetermined amount of cash, Jupiter, Florida, police said in charging documents released by the Palm Beach State Attorney’s Office.

Investigators said Kraft returned 17 hours later, arriving at the upper-middle class shopping center where the spa was located in a chauffeured 2015 blue Bentley, the documents said. Kraft, who is worth $6 billion, was videotaped engaging in sex acts before paying with a $100 bill and another bill, police said. He then flew to Kansas City to watch his Patriots defeat the Chiefs in overtime hours later.
https://www.pressherald.com/2019/02/25/nfl-pledges-to-take-appropriate-action-in-robert-kraft-case/




Holy shit!!! Hundreds??? Is this the mass arrests that the Qanon people have been warning us about all along? Is this the real sex and human trafficking ring? Is this the Thing From Uranus? Yes, I made a poop joke there! Good night everybody! So what kind of charges is Mr. Kraft looking at? Well, he’s a billionaire so he’ll probably avoid any jail sentence… and if you’re expecting that he’ll get nothing more than a slap on the wrist, you’re probably right.

The Florida state attorney's office in Palm Beach says New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft has been charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, days after police alleged surveillance video had caught Kraft during two visits to the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Fla.

State Attorney Dave Aronberg said at a news conference Monday that Kraft, a resident of Massachusetts who also has a home in Palm Beach, is among 25 people facing first-degree misdemeanor charges of soliciting another to commit prostitution.

As for potential penalties, Aronberg said the charge potentially carries a prison sentence of up to one year, along with "mandatory 100 hours of community service, a mandatory $5,000 fine, and a mandatory class on the dangers of prostitution and human trafficking."

The police investigation into the spa was aimed at stopping human trafficking, which Aronberg equated to "modern day slavery" and called an "evil in our midst."
https://www.npr.org/2019/02/25/697782148/robert-kraft-is-formally-charged-with-solicitation-over-visits-to-florida-day-sp





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[font size="8"]The MAGA Terrorist
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OK let’s lighten things up and talk about some terrorism. Yeah and not the kind of terrorism that you’d come to expect from Osama Bin Laden or Al’Qaeda, rather we’re going to focus on more home grown terrorism. You know think Timothy McVeigh, David Koresh and the Unabomber. That kind of home grown right-wing terrorism. So the latest one comes from where a lot of scary things come from – Baltimore, Maryland. But where did he come from? Oh and if you’re wondering why I keep referring to him as a MAGA terrorist, well, his list of targets looks very much like Trump’s enemies list, and yeah let’s keep it at that. But before we get into it, let’s probe the origin story of the latest MAGA terrorist

A U.S. Coast Guard lieutenant suspected of plotting to kill politicians and journalists as part of a terrorist attack appears to have Arizona ties.

A report from The New York Times indicates Christopher Paul Hasson graduated from Greenway High School in Phoenix in 1987 before joining the Marine Corps the following year.

A representative from the Glendale Union High School District didn't immediately respond Sunday to a request for comment from The Arizona Republic.

Hasson, 49, who worked at Coast Guard headquarters in Washington, D.C., was arrested on Feb. 15 on gun and drug charges.
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-breaking/2019/02/24/coast-guard-terrorism-suspect-has-arizona-ties/2972879002/




Yeah so that happened. So he’s originally from Phoenix. That’s Maricopa County. Who else is from Maricopa County? Oh I know! Sherriff Joe!!! Does the embattled MAGA terrorist have ties to the guy who made prison hazing popular again? You betcha! Oh and by the way, he might be one of the single dumbest criminals alive. You don’t use official computers for personal business, never ever!

The U.S. Coast Guard lieutenant spent hours on end planning a wide-scale domestic terrorist attack, even logging in at his work computer on the job at headquarters to study the manifestos and heinous paths of mass shooters, prosecutors say. He researched how to carry out sniper attacks, they contend, and whether rifle scopes were illegal. And all the while, investigators assert, he was amassing a cache of weapons as he ruminated about attacks on politicians and journalists.

But Christopher Hasson was not an isolated figure, according to a contractor who worked with him. The 49-year-old lieutenant with more than two decades in the Coast Guard was part of a project to replace some aging cutters in the fleet, tasks that regularly required interacting with civilians and military officials at meetings and on travel.

“I don’t remember him saying anything that was crazy,” said Adam Stolzberg, a contractor who worked at headquarters and was in meetings with Hasson a couple of times a month. Politics never came up, Stolzberg said.

It was only after Hasson’s arrest last Friday at his workplace that the chilling plans prosecutors assert he was crafting became apparent, detected by an internal Coast Guard program that watches for any “insider threat.”
https://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-us-coast-guard-christopher-hasson-terrorist-attack-20190222-story.html




Yeah so his studies obviously failed. Because, the difference between Hasson and those other mass murderers? He got caught. And did so in a colossally stupid way. But it does shed some light on white supremacism in the military – something that the FBI warned us about way back in 2003. Remember that report that came out during the Bush years? Yeah so this happened. And by the way in case you’re wondering what Trump is saying about this? Well, he’s dead silent.

Former Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele on Friday condemned President Trump for declining to speak out against a Coast Guard lieutenant accused of plotting to commit an act of white nationalist terrorism.

“Why would we be surprised that a self-proclaimed nationalist would not speak out against a self-proclaimed white nationalist?” Steele asked during an appearance on MSNBC.

“Why are we acting like this is a space that Donald Trump is going to go in on behalf of the American ideal? No, he’s not,” he continued.

Steele’s comments came after Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Paul Hasson was accused by federal prosecutors of stockpiling weapons and creating a hit list of prominent journalists and left-wing politicians.

The president remarked on the news Friday, calling it a “shame.”
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/431266-ex-rnc-chair-condemns-trumps-silence-on-alleged-domestic-terrorist




Yeah so Trump just pulled a Seinfeld here. But this whole thing really sheds a light on white supremacists in the United States military. Yes, there are neo Nazis and white supremacists currently active in the US military. So what the fuck is going on here? We might have to keep an eye on this subject.

House Democrats are calling upon the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security to address renewed concern over the incidence of white supremacy and other extremist affiliations among members of the military, following the recent arrest of a Coast Guard lieutenant who, according to federal prosecutors, was actively plotting deadly acts of domestic terrorism.

In a letter sent to Acting Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan and DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on Monday, Maryland Reps. Elijah Cummings, Anthony Brown and Jamie Raskin, as well as California Rep. Jackie Speier, praised the “swift action taken by federal agencies” to arrest Christopher Hasson before he could carry out his alleged plans, but expressed concern “that an individual that espouses these views could repeatedly serve in the military across multiple services.”

According to court records, Hasson’s military career began in the Marine Corps, where he served from 1998 to approximately 1993, followed by two years of active duty with the Army National Guard. Since 2016, the 49-year-old lieutenant had been working as an acquisitions officer at the Coast Guard’s headquarters in Washington, D.C. It was from his work computer that federal prosecutors say Hasson, a self-described white nationalist who was arrested earlier this month on weapons and drug charges, studied the manifesto of the far-right Norwegian terrorist Anders Breivik and other extremist killers, and wrote of his desire to “kill almost every last person on the earth.”
https://news.yahoo.com/democratic-lawmakers-demand-answers-from-trump-administration-on-extremists-serving-in-us-military-223510915.html





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[font size="8"]Jussie Smollet
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I’m sure by now that you’re probably sick of hearing about *FORMER* Empire star Jussie Smollet and the ongoing investigation into the attack that he now probably staged on himself. And he got arrested for it. And even crazier – the guys he hired are potentially the stupidest criminals of all time. Well maybe not of all time but they’re definitely hall of fame material. I mean this whole thing just gets weirder and weirder and weirder. So the question remains – did Jussie Smollet order the hit on himself to teach his bosses a lesson or didn’t he?

Dozens of private and city-owned security cameras played a critical role in helping investigators unravel “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett’s alleged hoax attack, police and prosecutors say.

Officials say investigators were suspicious of Smollett from the outset.

Officers were dispatched to investigate a brutal racist, homophobic attack on Smollett early on the morning of Jan. 29. During the attack, he said, two men threw a rope around his neck, in the manner of a noose.

<snip>

That all changed after police arrested two U.S.-born brothers of Nigerian descent – Abel and Ola Osundairo – as they arrived in Chicago Feb. 13 from a two-week trip overseas.

Abel, 25, was a close friend and personal trainer of Smollett who provided the actor with the club drug Ecstasy, prosecutors say. Both brothers had worked on the set of "Empire."

Smollett was charged this week with disorderly conduct by filing a false police report.

Prosecutors say he falsely told police that the perpetrators flung racial and homophobic slurs as they pummeled him, poured a chemical substance on him, and screamed “This is MAGA Country,” a reference to President Trump’s 2016 campaign slogan.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/02/23/jussie-smollett-alleged-hoax-security-cameras-police-osundairo-brothers-empire/2953688002/




So that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast. This whole thing is certifiably insane and it just keeps getting weirder. What started out as an innocent attack is quickly spiraling out of control and it might get even worse before it’s all over. I mean Jussie’s got some ‘splainin to do. Well at least we have the check!

ABC News has obtained the $3,500 check that was apparently written by "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett to one of the two brothers who Chicago police said helped stage an attack on Smollett last month.

ABC News reports the check's memo line reads "5 week Nutrition/Workout program (Don't Go)." Sources told ABC News Smollett was training for an upcoming music video titled "Don't Go."

The check was dated Jan. 23, six days before Smollett was accused of staging the attack. The music video was scheduled to be filmed Feb. 23, according to a calendar entry of Smollett's obtained by ABC News.

A source close to Smollett told ABC News that the $3,500 check was $600 per-week for the workout plan and $100 per-week for the nutrition plan.

ABC News has also obtained text messages between Smollett and one of the Osundairo brothers.
https://6abc.com/jussie-smolletts-check-to-brothers-obtained-by-abc-news/5155579/




That seriously is a legendary fail. If someone pays you to commit a crime, maybe at least go watch a crime movie first! Because if you watch crime movies you know not to buy all your shit in one place or they’ll get suspicious! I mean even in Baby Driver they admitted that buying their masks all at once was a pretty stupid idea.

The Jussie Smollett case has not gotten any less messy—or confusing. The $3,500 check that Smollett allegedly used to pay brothers Abel and Ola Osundairo to stage a hate crime against him in January includes a memo line that reads, “5 week Nutrition/Workout program (Don’t Go).” Sources close to Smollett—who has maintained his innocence since formally being arrested for filing a false police report—say the Empire actor did not pay the brothers to attack him, but instead hired them to help him lose weight ahead of a music-video shoot. ABC News obtained a copy of the check that shows that memo line, as well as text messages between Smollett and one of the brothers regarding nutrition and exercise that seem to support that narrative.

Still, during an interview Monday with Good Morning America, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson maintained that during their police interrogation, the brothers indicated that the check was given to them explicitly for the attack—and that police have additional evidence supporting this theory that has not been made public yet.

Smollett has consistently denied staging his attack. In their most recent statement on Smollett’s behalf following an impassioned police briefing—and Smollett’s arrest—the actor’s attorneys wrote, “Today we witnessed an organized law-enforcement spectacle that has no place in the American legal system. The presumption of innocence, a bedrock in the search for justice, was trampled upon at the expense of Mr. Smollett and notably, on the eve of a mayoral election. Mr. Smollett is a young man of impeccable character and integrity who fiercely and solemnly maintains his innocence and feels betrayed by a system that apparently wants to skip due process and proceed directly to sentencing.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/02/jussie-smollett-attack-police-check-eddie-johnson-good-morning-america




That is a good question, Mr. Harvey! And in case you’re wondering why hate crimes go unreported in this country, well, there’s that whole thing we do where we tend to blame the victims, and Mr. Smollet is one such victim in this case. Yeah… he just made it worse for literally everyone that is the victim of a hate crime.

One of the many moral panics of our time is that of “victimhood culture”. Apparently, we are too indulgent of those who can claim victim status, a state especially rife among students. The story goes that this has turned us all into eternal babies, coddling us, protecting us from “micro aggressions” and signalling an erosion of individual grit and autonomy in favour of mimsy whining.

In an effort to invert unfair power structures, some claim, victimhood culture has only succeeded in replacing them with different unfair power structures, where those who used to be at the bottom now hold the whip hand over those who used to be at the top. Women terrify men, who are forever fearful an offhand remark will become a harassment lawsuit, and racial minorities secure jobs at the expense of white people the moment their unusual names are spotted on a CV. The writer Lionel Shriver called it “privileging the disadvantaged”. Shriver also told BBC Radio 4 that white men in the UK are on the bottom rung of society, because they are considered to be the most powerful demographic (reader, I can reveal they are). Victimhood culture advocates engage in a lot of doublethink.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/feb/25/jussie-smollett-intolerant-victimhood-culture





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Who’s got July 4th plans? Yes, you know July 4th – the holiday where you fight traffic to go to your local high school’s ridiculously poorly planned fireworks show, while your idiot neighbors blow their thumbs off trying it at home. Yeah, you might have lit up the night sky and caused dogs everywhere around you to bark their heads off, and you’ll get a trip to the ER out of it! Woo!!!! ‘MERICA!!! Well if either activity isn’t in your July 4th plans, let’s let your favorite president make them for you! What’s he got planned exactly? A super patriotic Americagasm spectacular on the National Mall. Which of course is already opposite the official government sanctioned July 4th Independence Day Parade celebration in DC. I mean must he *HAVE* to ruin everything? Oh he must!

President Trump asked to Americans to "hold the date" of July 4th—a federal holiday already in most calendars—for the White House's planned "Salute to America." In a Twitter message published Sunday, the president sketched the broad outlines of his new Independence Day celebration, which sounds pretty similar to standard issue July 4th festivities.

According to CNN, the capital has its own Independence Day tradition, and there's no word yet whether the "Salute to America" would augment or replace it:

Trump has expressed his desire to create a major patriotic event for some time. After attending Paris’s Bastille Day military parade with French leader Emmanuel Macron in 2017, the U.S. President said he wanted to stage his own similar event. "To a large extent because of what I witnessed, we may do something like that on July 4 in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue," he told Reuters at the time. "We’re actually looking into it."

The White House first attempted to mount its parade for Veteran’s Day last year, but later cancelled the event, citing high costs. "The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it,” wrote Trump on Twitter at the time. "When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it."

If the new 4th of July celebrations aren't similarly thwarted, the president may have some trouble booking entertainment, as his administration has struggled to find popular musicians willing to associate themselves with the Trump White House. Entertainers like Elton John, Andrea Bocelli, and 2 Chainz passed on the chance to perform at Trump's inauguration, an event that finally mustered a tepid billing featuring 3 Doors Down, Toby Keith, and Tony Orlando.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26495354/trump-july-4th-celebration-announcement/




WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Aint no party like a Donald Trump party because a Donald Trump party don’t stop! Oh wait, that sounds *EXACTLY* like literally every July 4th celebration ever. I mean come on, Obama could get Bruce Springsteen *AND* U2 to play his events! Trump could barely get a Z-grade Bruce Springsteen cover band. So what’s he got in store?

In line with Donald Trump’s ridiculous habit of taking credit for everyone else’s efforts, he is now claiming ownership of Fourth of July celebrations that are held every year in the nation’s capital (and across the country, of course).

“HOLD THE DATE!” Trump yelled on Twitter Sunday morning. “We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called ‘A Salute To America’ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!”

In addition to exaggerating his relevance overall to the human species, what Trump did here is to stake a claim to a national holiday by seeking to turn it into another hate-filled, political lie-fest, otherwise known as a MAGA rally funded by taxpayers. It’s also a way to inflate his crowd size. Such a grifter.

Whiny Trump didn’t get his $92 million boondoggle of a military parade, so apparently, he had to think of another way to pay homage to himself before he winds up in jail. He probably stole the idea from one of his dictatorial idols, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, whom Trump is scheduled to meet with this week in Vietnam. Maybe Trump will invite “little Rocket Man” to the party.
https://splinternews.com/hold-the-date-trump-s-planning-the-biggest-party-ever-1832854034




Hold the date? Seriously Trump’s never got a “Save The Date” card in the mail? He can’t even get that right! So how’s he going to throw this most patriotic Americagasm orgy of all patriotic displays? And has he really thought this through? Oh who am I kidding! Of course he hasn’t. I mean there’s all kinds of operating costs associated with an event like this.

It’s about four months away, but President Donald Trump has some pretty big plans for the Fourth of July in the District this summer. He announced on Sunday that he’s hosting a July 4th celebration at the Lincoln Memorial.

However, Mayor Muriel Bowser told FOX 5 Monday that not only have D.C. officials not heard from the White House, there is also already planning underway for the city’s traditional July 4th celebration. There’s a parade down Constitution Avenue, the annual “Capitol Fourth” concert at the U.S. Capitol and the fireworks over The Mall.

Sunday, the President tweeted: “We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called ‘A Salute to America’ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial.” He also said he’d make an address during the celebration.

But Bowser made it clear — she has concerns about planning, costs and security.

“Planning for that to make sure that all the participants are safe down on The Mall is not something that you can wing, it has to be planned and planned well, and moving the President during that could be a very considerable undertaking for our MPD, which would pull them off the already large crowds that we have,” said Bowser.
http://www.fox5dc.com/news/local-news/questions-abound-after-president-trump-announces-july-4th-celebration-at-lincoln-memorial




I love that movie! So yeah he obviously didn’t think this through and will need to do some extensive planning which is great because Washington DC will be using most of its’ resources to cover the other main July 4th attraction! Ha ha!!! Maybe Blackwater and the III%ers are available? Although this is why I love Twitter because there were some hilarious responses to Trump’s madness:

People on Twitter had a blast Sunday coming up with images for President Donald Trump’s planned “one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C.” at the Lincoln Memorial this year to mark Independence Day.

Visions ranged from chilling images of the kind of military event that might occur in Moscow to old photos of the 1970 “Honor America” Independence Day celebration on the National Mall organized by wealthy supporters of Richard Nixon. The 1970 event was aimed at shoring up support for Nixon amid antiwar protests and the fatal shooting that year of four Kent State University students by the Ohio National Guard.

The event instead blossomed into a free-for-all involving furious neo-Nazis and other conservatives and a “smoke-in” by antiwar hippies. (“Before this is over, I may need some of that stuff myself,” quipped master of ceremonies Bob Hope.) Nixon was not on the scene.

Trump on Sunday urged Americans to “HOLD THE DATE” of July 4 for a “Salute To America” celebration featuring a speech by “your favorite President, me!”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/twitter-visions-trump-july-fourth_n_5c733a2be4b06cf6bb275b8d





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



There’s no mistake that since the 2016 election that saw America take an absolutely hard right turn that hate crimes have been reported in alarming numbers, not just in the United States, but all over the world. What’s to blame for this? Many people blame social media for the rise in what’s fueling this worrisome trend. But just how bad are things? It’s not just in America this is happening but in countries like Poland, Hungary, France, England, Turkey, the Philippines, and Russia, where arguably this can all be traced back to. But just how bad have things got in the world of hate? Well there’s a lot.

One video showed a 51-year-old Jewish man being beaten to the ground by three young men, who seemed to select him at random. Another showed an Orthodox Jewish man being chased across the street by a man wielding a tree branch. A third showed an Orthodox Jewish man hanging on to a fence as an assailant jumped and choked him.

The three incidents, all of which took place in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, in the past year, have raised alarms in the neighborhood and in the city’s large Orthodox Jewish community as a whole. Hate crimes are up citywide, but in Crown Heights, they have taken a particularly violent turn.

There were 55 hate crimes reported in New York City this year as of Feb. 17, an increase of 72 percent over the same period last year, the police said. Anti-Semitic crimes made up almost two-thirds of that, for a total of 36 crimes reported so far this year, compared with 21 last year.

The steep rise comes after a year when hate crimes were already increasing. Anti-Semitic crimes in 2018 were up 22 percent compared with 2017.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/18/nyregion/anti-semitism-brooklyn-new-york.html


And that’s just in New York alone. What about the rest of the country? It’s getting very scary out there, as you can already see. While the Jussie Smollett hate crime is FUBAR, there’s no mistake that it shed light on just how many hate crimes go unreported. And why is that? Well there’s many reasons why hate crimes go unreported.

A Minnesota legislator said Wednesday that he would introduce a proposal to toughen the penalty for falsely reporting hate crimes, citing a high-profile reported attack on a gay black actor in Chicago that was recently called into question.

Rep. Nick Zerwas, R-Elk River, described the measure, expected later this session, as "a reasonable step to help deter individuals from filing false police reports and to make sure that we devote law enforcement's limited resources to investigating and prosecuting legitimate bias-motivated crimes."

Zerwas said he was motivated to bring the issue forward after recent reports that police believed "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett may have staged a January attack by two masked men shouting racial and anti-gay slurs. Smollett has denied that claim through his lawyers.

In recent days, Zerwas has written about the case in multiple posts on Twitter, describing it as part of a "recent rise in fake victimization" and a symptom of media bias.
http://www.startribune.com/minnesota-lawmaker-wants-to-increase-penalties-on-false-hate-crime-reports/506109302/




Is it any surprise that a republican is leading the charge to stiffen penalties on reporting false hate crimes? We’re shocked, but not that shocked. Because hate crimes almost always tend to be caused by conservatives. And who are they targeting? We’ve seen time and time again that the LGBT community and Jewish synagogues and cemeteries are targets. But what else?

For the fourth year in a row, the Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization that tracks hate groups, reports that hate and domestic extremism are rising in an unabated trend. The center found a 30 percent increase in U.S. hate groups over the past four years and a 7 percent increase in hate groups in 2018 alone, according to the center's annual "Year in Hate and Extremism" report. The group designated 1,020 organizations as hate groups in 2018, a high of at least 20 years.

The watchdog group blames President Trump, his administration, right-wing media outlets and the ease of spreading hate on social media platforms for the alarming increase. The growth, it says, is largely driven by "hysteria over losing a white-majority nation to demographic change."

"The numbers tell a striking story — that this president is not simply a polarizing figure but a radicalizing one," Heidi Beirich, director of the SPLC's Intelligence Project, said in a statement. "Rather than trying to tamp down hate, as presidents of both parties have done, President Trump elevates it — with both his rhetoric and his policies. In doing so, he's given people across America the go-ahead to to act on their worst instincts."

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a revered civil rights watchdog group that has been around since 1971. It is credited with dealing the final blows to the Ku Klux Klan through legal battles.
https://www.npr.org/2019/02/20/696217158/u-s-hate-groups-rose-sharply-in-recent-years-watchdog-group-reports




Yes, haters gonna hate. So… shake it off. But before you do that, you should realize just how many hate groups operate in the United States and they get away with it. And when you live in a divided nation in a world that’s becoming increasingly divided on social media. Or you could say that it’s because of an alarming increase in an increasingly far right conservative presence around the globe. But whatever it is, we currently live in troubled times, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

The number of hate groups in the United States rose for the fourth year in a row in 2018, pushed to a record high by a toxic combination of political polarization, anti-immigrant sentiment and technologies that help spread propaganda online, the Southern Poverty Law Center said Wednesday.

The law center said the number of hate groups rose by 7 percent last year to 1,020, a 30 percent jump from 2014. That broadly echoes other worrying developments, including a 30 percent increase in the number of hate crimes reported to the F.B.I. from 2015 through 2017 and a surge of right-wing violence that the Anti-Defamation League said had killed at least 50 people in 2018.

“We’re seeing a lot of bad trends,” Heidi Beirich, the director of the intelligence project at the Southern Poverty Law Center, said in an interview on Wednesday. “There are more hate groups, more hate crimes and more domestic terrorism in that same vein. It is a troubling set of circumstances.”

Ms. Beirich said the increase in extremist activity tracked by her team began in earnest in the early days of the 2016 presidential election, when anxieties over immigration helped propel President Trump to the White House. Before that, she said, the number of hate groups had fallen for three straight years.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/20/us/hate-groups-rise.html




That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, is somehow trying to make things right by going against the religion that sees him as some sort of higher power, even though we all know damn well that he isn’t! Now… in case you’re wondering what I am referring to, exactly, is that the Dark One’s administration plans to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Yes, he is going against his own, supposed, religion. But… only thing is he doesn’t even really know about it!

US President Donald Trump seemed unaware of his own administration's plans to end the criminalization of homosexuality around the world when asked about it on Wednesday.

Following reports that the Trump administration will launch a global campaign to end the criminalization of homosexuality, a reporter asked Trump in the Oval Office: "Mr. President, on your push to decriminalize homosexuality, are you doing that? And why?"

Trump asked the reporter to repeat the question, and then said: "I don't know which report you're talking about. We have many reports."

NBC News r eported on Tuesday that the Trump White House would campaign for a change in laws in dozens of countries where it is illegal to be gay, citing administration officials.

The campaign is aimed in part at denouncing Iran's human rights record, NBC News said.

Richard Grenell, the US ambassador to Germany, who is openly gay, plans to lead the campaign and discussed the effort with a dozen LGBTQ activists from around Europe at a dinner in Berlin on Tuesday night, The New York Times reported.
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-seemed-unaware-plans-decriminalize-homosexuality-around-world-2019-2




Yes… WTF indeed! I mean they could have just given Iran the finger and it would have been much easier, and not have demonized an entire people at that! For the good book says “Cast a light unto others that you would have cast unto yourself!”. Yeah it does say that, sir! Now of course our brothers and sisters on the Christian right have steered the wrong course. I mean really, they can’t possibly get any crazier can they?

Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page last night in which he prayed against the Trump administration’s plan to launch a global effort aimed at decriminalizing homosexuality, saying that the United States has no right to impose “our craziness” on other nations.

Wallnau blamed the plan on a “State Department Trump swamp bureaucracy,” saying that decriminalizing homosexuality “is not the most important agenda” because white evangelical Christians wearing MAGA hats are actually the real targets of discrimination and hate crimes in America.

“You want to hear the truth?” he said. “Gays are celebrated everywhere, from ‘Hamilton’ on Broadway to the Tony Awards to the Academy Awards. There is no group that is more lifted up and celebrated and promoted than the LGBT movement. It’s the opposite of persecution. You want to know persecution is? Be a white evangelical conservative and … put a MAGA hat on; you might as well put a cross on and go to Saudi Arabia.”

“I pray that the State Department’s progress with their LGBT agenda—their zeal for the gay agenda and their politics—and the State Department’s funding, break that in Jesus’ name,” Wallnau added. “We have no right to impose on other nations our craziness in terms of our cultural definition of liberty. We don’t have a right to mess with other countries’ sovereignty and their religious beliefs. Oh my God, in Jesus’ name, I would like America to be saved, but for America to be saved, it’s got to not be an evil influence in the world.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lance-wallnau-prays-against-trump-administration-push-to-decriminalize-homosexuality/




See? Even JAYSUS thinks your fail is unbelievable! And by the way if you think this is targeting all countries, you’re wrong! In fact it’s targeting just one country and it’s meant to be an insult, because that’s just how he rolls! Well, they could have said “fuck you” and got it over with, but then again that’s not how he rolls!

For a brief moment during the past week, it looked like the Trump administration may have actually done something good. In a surprise move, Trump’s ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell announced that he was leading an initiative to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. About 70 countries have laws on the books that make being LGBTQ or having same-sex sexual relations illegal.

The idea sounds as great as it is out of character. It’s also never going to happen. Here are five reasons why the proposed policy initiative is dead in the water before it even starts.

It’s only about Iran. Tellingly, Grenell bolstered his argument for the plan by citing Iran.

“Barbaric public executions are all too common in a country where consensual homosexual relationships are criminalized and punishable by flogging and death,” Grenell wrote in an op-ed. Trump and the right are fixated on Iran and will use every available means to attack it. Attacking Iran is also plays well with Israel’s right-wing government.

But what about other Muslim nations? The administration’s beloved Saudia Arabia regularly arrests people for being gay or even flying a rainbow flag. Or Chechnya, which is under the thumb of Trump’s buddy Putin, and where gay men live in fear of their lives?
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/02/5-reasons-trumps-initiative-decriminalize-homosexuality-worldwide-doa/




Well now the good LAWRD JAYSUS sees right through his lies, and LYING IS A SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins in our church!!! Can I get an amen???? And in case you’re wondering if their motives couldn’t be any more sinister, just look at what the Dark One’s son, Dark One Jr, said after he found out about the news:

President Trump's eldest son took aim at Out Magazine on Wednesday after an op-ed in the magazine slammed the Trump administration's push to decriminalize homosexuality around the world as a "racist" distraction.

In a tweet, Donald Trump Jr. wrote that no matter what his father's administration pursued, his critics would always "find a way to somehow make it bad."

"Yup, no matter what he does they find a way to somehow make it bad. You can’t make this stuff up anymore," he wrote.

The tweet came in response to an op-ed by Out writer Matthew Rodriguez, who wrote that the administration's announcement this week that it would seek to decriminalize homosexuality in countries around the world was a "racist tactic."

Rodriguez wrote that "rather than actually being about helping queer people around the world, the campaign looks more like another instance of the right using queer people as a pawn to amass power and enact its own agenda."

The author uses as an example of his argument the push to center the decriminalization efforts on Iran, a country president Trump has often verbally attacked.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/430734-trump-jr-attacks-lgbt-magazine-that-calls-white-house-effort-to




So you can’t make up that a racist motive isn’t racist? I mean Dark One, Jr, for shame!!! And if you think it’s not a racist problem, well, then you’re also a racist! There you go. Mass has ended, may you go in peace!!! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Captain Marvel
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Hey everyone, guess what? Early reviews for Captain Marvel are in! Woooooooooo!!! And the reviews for the movie are glowing. I particularly loved the one reviewer who said that “Thanos is fucked”. But those aren’t the reviews that we’re going to talk about here. No, instead we’re going to talk about the *OTHER* reviews for Captain Marvel. Only these reviews are coming from right wing losers who haven’t seen the movie yet. Yes, the same dipshits who took down Ghostbusters and Star Wars Episode VIII because they’re racist and sexist losers who have nothing better to do than troll, they are coming for the latest Marvel superhero. Yes, nothing is safe from these keyboard warriors! And can anyone guess why? OOH!!! OOH!!! I think I know the answer!

In depressingly – and bafflingly – predictable fashion, trolls are already flooding sites like Rotten Tomatoes with fake reviews for forthcoming MCU feature Captain Marvel.

The movie, which hinges on a pivotal female hero (played by Brie Larson) in the Marvel Cinematic Universe – not to mention one that’s going to be key to Avengers: Endgame – it’s now subject to misogynist trolling in the same vein as that seen for movies like the all-female Ghostbusters reboot.

So far, there are 8,617 (at the time of writing) ‘user ratings’ for the movie, astonishing for a film that hasn’t been released yet, and only seen by a small pool of critics as of last night.

Though some are fighting back, the majority of the ‘ratings’ come with tediously transparent remarks about the film’s so-called ‘agenda’, which has clearly upset more than a few chaps who are finding their masculinity in jeopardy.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/trolls-already-slating-captain-marvel-fake-reviews-125158297.html




Remember the good old days when people used to go to movies and I don’t know, enjoy them? Well guess what? Those days are long gone! Because of these people who have to ruin it for everybody else, and they’re not going away any time soon! In fact, think of this as Troll Hard 2: Troll Harder. Well the sad thing is their brand of trolling, actually kind of works. But this time around, we’re onto them!

If you’ve been keeping up with “Captain Marvel” news the past couple of days, you might’ve read some headlines claiming trolls are already “bombing” the Brie Larson movie’s Rotten Tomatoes score and “flooding” the film’s page with sexist comments.

Since the news hit, it appears several (around 15 or so) of those trolling comments have been removed, according to screenshots HuffPost took on Tuesday. But there might be an entirely new onslaught of people now downvoting the film.

It’s dizzying. It’s exhausting. And, yes, it’s all happening pre-release. So with time on our hands before the movie debuts on March 8, we decided to take a look at what’s really going on.

HuffPost first noticed the troll attacks on “Captain Marvel” earlier this week thanks to stories from a few fandom blogs and Screen Rant, which pointed out, “Most of the trolls’ comments are about Larson being a vocal feminist and how this movie pushes feminism to the forefront of the [Marvel Cinematic Universe].”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/disturbing-captain-marvel-reviews-removed-from-rotten-tomatoes_n_5c6c77b8e4b0e37a1ed27cdd




Yes, so trollers gonna troll. And you know what? We fall for it every single time because they know how to hit us and how to hit us where it hurts! in fact their brand of trolling works so well because it’s designed to. They know our weaknesses – racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all the other fears and phobias that make us human. And they exploit them!

As Disney and Marvel Studios gear up for the March 8 release of Captain Marvel, the first female-led solo film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, some fans aren't celebrating but are instead attempting to poison the well, and presumably damage its opening-weekend box office. Trolls are bombing Captain Marvel's Rotten Tomatoes entry with negative reviews intended to sabotage its audience score.

It's important to note that no public screenings have been held for the film.

Most of the negative comments littering Captain Marvel's audience review section of the aggregator site aren't so much concerned with the film as with its star, Academy Award winner Brie Larson. Left by predominately male users, the remarks are primarily focused on what they claim are her "racist and sexist" views.

The outrage, such that it is, stems from a recent interview in which Larson called for inclusivity after she noticed that journalists attending press events and reviewing films were "overwhelmingly white male."
https://www.cbr.com/captain-marvel-trolls-rotten-tomatoes-explained/




But have no fear, Marvel fans! Rotten Tomatoes is here! Yes, the review site that compiles critical reviews and gives them an overall score is getting tough on review trolling this time around. Yes, they may have got away with it for Ghostbusters, and the Last Jedi, because those were both terrible movies, but they’re not getting away with it for Captain Marvel! No sir!

Rotten Tomatoes is fighting back against trolls.

The powerful movie review aggregation website announced Monday it would ban user comments before a film premieres in theaters. The move is in part a bid to crack down on what it called "non-constructive input, sometimes bordering on trolling, which we believe is a disservice to our general readership." The service is also tweaking the system it uses to poll moviegoers about their interest in upcoming releases.

The move comes after some users apparently tried to torpedo the moviegoer interest percentage score for the not-yet-released "Captain Marvel," Marvel Studio's first female-led superhero movie. Rotten Tomatoes' webpage for the film, starring Brie Larson in the title role, had been swamped with negative comments, some of them misogynistic.

"Captain Marvel," slated to debut March 8 and expected to open with some $100 million in ticket sales, was just the latest high-profile movie to come under attack by trolls. In recent years, a crush of users tried to sink audience scores for Marvel's "Black Panther," "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" and the female-led "Ghostbusters" reboot, deluging the site with comments that were sometimes racist or sexist.
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/movies/captain-marvel-was-attacked-online-trolls-rotten-tomatoes-took-action-n976201





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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:



This week: TV shows who insist on interviewing Roseanne Barr. How is this still a thing? You know just like we think Twitter should have an “are you sure?” button before pressing send, we really need to have an intervention on reporters who still insist on interviewing the former TV star who has well, struggled to grasp reality. While we can’t fault Roseanne for that, we can certainly fault her for whatever batshit crazy thing is about to come out of her mouth. And this week, she certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

Roseanne Barr is at it again. The actress/comedienne who lost her job and her hit ABC show after her racist Twitter rant against Valerie Jarrett just took some shots at Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and it looks like some folks will never learn to keep their mouths shut.

Over the weekend, Barr posted a video to YouTube calling AOC a “bug-eyed bi*ch” and a “Farrakhan loving bi*ch” over her proposed Green New Deal; a plan intended to “achieve net-zero greenhouse gas emissions and create economic prosperity for all.”

This isn’t the first time Roseanne Barr has made offensive statements against women who deserve respect.

In deranged new video, Roseanne Barr says of Valerie Jarrett, ‘I thought the bitch was white’

Back in May, Roseanne Barr was abruptly fired from her own show after she tweeted racist remarks about former Barack Obama adviser, Valerie Jarrett.

“muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” Barr tweeted in response to a post about Jarrett.

ABC quickly fired her once they caught wind of the offensive tweets.
https://thegrio.com/2019/02/20/roseanne-barr-calls-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-a-big-eyed-bich-and-farrakhan-loving-bich/


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Now really, Roseanne. Did you learn anything? Apparently not. And now this gets even weirder with former confidant and the voice of Sideshow Bob himself, Kelsey Grammar, who not even 3 days before, called for Roseanne to be forgiven. Now really, Kelsey, what did you expect?

“Frasier” actor Kelsey Grammer said over the weekend that he thinks that “people should be forgiven” in regards to Roseanne Barr’s departure from her eponymous show last year.

Grammer said he was encouraged by the success of the reboot of “Roseanne,” adding that a reboot of “Frasier” is in the works, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Last year, Barr was fired by ABC after she made a joke about Valerie Jarrett, who worked s an adviser to former President Obama.

After cries of racism, Barr’s show was canceled. ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey said her comments were “abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.”

“I have no idea. I think people should be forgiven for their sins. Our life is so challenging. How do you ever make amends?” Grammer said of the incident.
https://www.theepochtimes.com/kelsey-grammer-on-roseanne-barr-people-should-be-forgiven-for-their-sins_2806052.html




And really, you really had to go there? When you interview Roseanne you are almost guaranteed anymore that she will say something batshit crazy. Because Roseanne suffers from a condition where the rectum recycles matter that goes straight to the cranial cavity. And you probably know this disease better as “shit for brains”. Well, her reasons for being fired are almost as crazy as the reason why she was fired in the first place.

Roseanne Barr, who offered a plethora of reasons why she was fired from her hit rebooted sitcom following a racist tweet last year, told The Jerusalem Post that "antisemitism" at ABC and her support for Israel helped do her in.

In an interview published Friday in the Jerusalem-based English-language newspaper ahead of her visit to address Israel's parliament, Barr expanded on one of the multiple theories she's offered to explain why she was kicked off her revived show, "Roseanne," last summer.

"I feel that what happened to me, a large part of it is antisemitism," Barr told the Post in a phone interview on Thursday from her home in Hawaii. "I think it played a part – the fact that I was never allowed to explain what I meant – and what I meant was a commentary on Iran – so they purposely mischaracterized what I said and wouldn't let me explain."

She said ABC acted in haste and did something "unprecedented that they've never done to any other artist" because she is "the most vocal person about Israel and (against) BDS," the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to pressure Israel over its treatment of Palestinians.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2019/01/11/roseanne-barr-tells-israelis-she-blames-abc-antisemitism-firing/2552869002/




Anti-semitism is to blame? Really, are you Walter Sobchak from the Big Lebowski, Roseanne? Look, we support free speech here, nobody is going to come and take your free speech rights away. But after one crazy thing after another, we really need a sanity check before you go out in public and start saying crazy shit. Because she said this about Natalie Portman in January.

The comedian also said in an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom that John Goodman should have "fought harder" for her.

Roseanne Barr criticized Natalie Portman and defended Kevin Hart ahead of her visit to Israel.

In an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom, the comedian took on Portman, who last April outraged many upon declining to take part in an award ceremony as the recipient of the Genesis Prize Laureate, explaining she "did not want to appear as endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu, who was to be giving a speech at the ceremony."

"It was really sickening, I find her repulsive," said Barr of Portman in the interview. "She was raised in incredible privilege of safety in the Jewish state and knows nothing about anti-Semitism."

Portman was born in Jerusalem and moved to the U.S. with her parents at the age of 3.

Added Barr, "She's the darling of the left here, the Jewish left in Hollywood, she is a complete hypocrite who grew up in safety and privilege, like I said before, and knows nothing about what she speaks of."
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/roseanne-barr-slams-natalie-portman-defends-kevin-hart-1177378




You’re going to attack Natalie Portman for being Jewish when you’re trying to claim anti-semitism is the reason why you got fired? That is what one might call “hypocrisy”. That’s enough to make you ask – interviewing Roseanne:




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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Whew, Roseanne is crazy. I need a drink!



So of course you know by now that the idea behind this is that we cocktail, and while we’re cocktailing, we get drunk and discuss literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t involve politics. And what involves politics less than the lottery? No, not like that, sir. Ah, don’t you love it when someone in the audience is making wise cracks at your expense? So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about the lottery? A glass of Dom Perignon rose? What are you trying to make me go broke? Ah fuck it, I’ll just have a glass of Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So let’s go to South Carolina for this story.

Nearly everyone in this small South Carolina town has a theory for the city’s billion-dollar mystery: Who won the $1.5 billion Mega Millions jackpot announced last October?

Maybe the winner was so overwhelmed upon seeing the winning numbers that she or he died on the spot? Maybe the winner is on the run from police and fears a background check? Maybe that winning ticket fell from a car visor, ended up in a trash can and is forever buried at the Twin Chimneys Landfill. Or maybe, the winner is still going on with life as usual, before quietly taking the $878 million lump sum.

With less than two months to go, the clock is ticking. Whoever won the second largest lottery in U.S. history has until 5 p.m. on April 19 to walk into the South Carolina Lottery office in Columbia with the signed ticket and claim the jackpot.

The winning ticket was sold at the KC Mart in Simpsonville sometime between Oct. 20 and the drawing at 11 p.m. on Oct. 23. Store employee Jee Patel said State Law Enforcement Division agents were waiting in the parking lot when workers came to open at 6 a.m. the next day.
https://whnt.com/2019/02/24/unclaimed-1-5b-jackpot-mystery-winner-died-ticket-lost/




Yeah it’s kind of like that. So somewhere there’s an unclaimed lottery ticket that’s worth $1.5 BILLION dollars. Yes, it’s the kind of money that would make even Dr. Evil blush. So why is it such a mystery? Is it because of the size of the jackpot? Is it because we don’t know about the winner or haven’t even heard so much as a peep from them? Is it because they live in a small town where everyone knows each other? Or something else?

Four months after South Carolina's first Mega Millions jackpot win, the staggering $1.5 billion prize remains unclaimed.

That leaves two months until the six-month deadline to cash in the winning lottery ticket — and more time to speculate on what's taking the person so long to collect their winnings.

The winning ticket for the Oct. 23 drawing was sold at Simpsonville's KC Mart #7, and signs in the store window proclaim, "We sold a Mega Millions ticket worth ... $1.5 billion."

Still, mystery surrounds the unclaimed jackpot as the convenience store and state officials wait for the winner to come forward.

"It wasn't me," Ray Black said with a laugh as he checked the numbers on a lottery ticket recently at the KC Mart #7.
https://www.greenvilleonline.com/story/news/local/south-carolina/2019/02/23/mega-millions-unclaimed-lottery-ticket/2943473002/




So, like the Muse song, time is running out. And the rules state that if you don’t claim your ticket soon, your jackpot is toast. And hey you know we could all use some money. But it also affects the winning state big time, and let’s face it - $1.5 billion is a *HUGE* chunk of change. I mean shit, it’s more than I have under my mattress! Which means that if you don’t come forward, your state is a huge loser, too!

The winner of a $1.54 billion lottery jackpot in South Carolina has yet to come forward. That means the state of South Carolina might be a big loser too.

Economic officials on Thursday removed the estimated $61 million windfall the winner was expected to pay in state income taxes from tax and other estimates.

That extra money had been included as the governor and lawmakers prepared their spending priorities at the beginning of the year. An extra $61 million could buy new voting machines for the entire state, give a nearly 2 percent raise to all South Carolina teachers or put a police officer in every public school in the state. It is about 0.5 percent of the money lawmakers have control over in the state budget.

One winning ticket in the Oct. 23 Mega Millions drawing was sold at the KC Mart convenience store in Simpsonville, a suburb of Greenville. The winner has 180 days to come forward and claim the $1.54 billion prize paid over 30 years, or a $878 million lump sum.
https://www.postandcourier.com/news/unclaimed-b-lottery-jackpot-south-carolina-could-be-big-loser/article_978804bc-ba18-5b49-94d8-5612d2d2722e.html




So that one ticket alone can throw off the entire state’s budget for an entire year while its’ fate hangs in the balance. If you live in Greenville, SC, better check all your tickets because you could be this very person!

Nearly everyone in this small South Carolina town has a theory for the city's billion-dollar mystery: Who won the $1.5 billion Mega Millions jackpot announced last October?

Maybe the winner was so overwhelmed upon seeing the winning numbers that she or he died on the spot? Maybe the winner is on the run from police and fears a background check? Maybe that winning ticket fell from a car visor, ended up in a trash can and is forever buried at the Twin Chimneys Landfill. Or maybe, the winner is still going on with life as usual, before quietly taking the $878 million lump sum.

With less than two months to go, the clock is ticking. Whoever won the second largest lottery in U.S. history has until 5 p.m. on April 19 to walk into the South Carolina Lottery office in Columbia with the signed ticket and claim the jackpot.

The winning ticket was sold at the KC Mart in Simpsonville sometime between Oct. 20 and the drawing at 11 p.m. on Oct. 23. Store employee Jee Patel said State Law Enforcement Division agents were waiting in the parking lot when workers came to open at 6 a.m. the next day.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/nationworld/ct-mega-millions-south-carolina-winner-20190224-story.html





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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 2: The United States State Department
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It’s time for the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries. It’s time to say goodbye, everyone, it’s been fun. We toured everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The United States State Department[/font]


So for our very last and final edition of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, we are going to tour one of the US government’s oldest and most prominent institutions – the United States State Department. The USSD is an institution as old as the United States itself. Yes, it’s the branch of the US government that was formerly headed by Rex Tillerson and is currently headed by guy who makes torture great again, Mike Pompeo. The USSD is similar to a ministry of foreign affairs in that it helps shape international and also domestic policies that define the United States. So what are some things that the USSD actually does? Well we all know how bad Huawei is, and we think Europe might be finally getting the message that you shouldn’t do business with the embattled cell phone manufacturer.

European governments are proving receptive to the idea that China’s Huawei poses security risks to telecoms networks, a senior U.S. cyber official said on Tuesday.

“We are highlighting inherent risks... in particular with Huawei,” Robert L. Strayer, the U.S. State Department’s ambassador for cyber and international communications told reporters at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.

Strayer said people in Europe were getting the message, but: “At the end of the day, each government and operator has to make its own decisions.”

A U.S. delegation is attending the wireless trade fair to persuade Europeans to follow the U.S. lead in shunning Huawei, the world’s biggest maker of telecoms equipment, which is competing for next-generation 5G mobile network contracts. (Reporting by Jack Stubbs and Isla Binnie Writing by Georgina Prodhan Editing by Keith Weir)
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/26/reuters-america-u-s-state-department-says-europe-is-getting-the-message-on-huawei.html




Well hopefully they won’t have to come to that. Another thing that the US department does is they issue travel warnings. Yes, they tell the citizens of the US that maybe they shouldn’t go to certain countries because reasons. Like maybe don’t go to the Bahamas right now because if you haven’t noticed the Gulf Of Mexico has these things called hurricanes, and they’ve been quite active lately.

The United States State Department issued another travel warning for the Bahamas today.

The U.S. State Department reissued a “Level 2: Exercise Increased Caution Due to Crime” for the Bahamas, stating:

“Violent crime, such as burglaries, armed robberies, and sexual assault, is common, even during the day and in tourist areas. Although the family islands are not crime-free, the vast majority of crime occurs on New Providence and Grand Bahama islands . . . Activities involving commercial recreational watercraft, including water tours, are not consistently regulated. Watercraft are often not maintained, and many companies do not have safety certifications to operate in The Bahamas. Jet-ski operators have been known to commit sexual assaults against tourists . . .”

There were three travel warnings issued by the U.S. last year for the Bahamas, by the U.S. Overseas Security Advisory Council (OSAC) in the Bahamas 2018 Crime & Safety Report, the U.S. State Department, and the U.S. Embassy in Nassau as well as one warning by Canada.
https://www.cruiselawnews.com/2019/02/articles/uncategorized/u-s-state-department-issues-another-travel-warning-for-the-bahamas/




Another thing that the US State Department does is that they determine what the United States can and cannot import and export. Remember how James Bond’s cover was that he was an importer – exporter of good? Even though it’s never implied what, exactly. But that’s really the job of the US State Department.

The US continues to pursue a zero-tolerance policy for its Iran oil sanctions and is urging importers to eliminate all purchases from the Middle East country, Francis Fannon, assistant secretary at the US State Department’s Bureau of Energy Resources, said Monday during a visit to Japan.

“The US policy is to drive Iranian exports to zero,” Fannon said during a media briefing in Tokyo. “That policy has not changed. We are unwavering in our policy.”

Fannon was asked whether Washington would consider extending Iran sanctions waivers when they expire in May, given falling supplies from Saudi Arabia as a result of the production cut agreement by OPEC and allies, and the ongoing crisis in sanctions-hit Venezuela.

He said it was premature to say whether the State Department would grant new waivers in May to the eight countries that were allowed to continue importing Iranian oil in return for promising to significantly cut their dependence on the supplies.
https://www.hellenicshippingnews.com/us-still-aims-to-cut-irans-oil-exports-to-zero-state-department-official/




And in case you can’t guess, under the Trump administration, the US state department has become well, less than flattering. So much in fact that nobody wants to work for a horrible boss like Mike Pompeo, or even worse – his boss, Donald J. Trump. Yes, the guy who we currently call president has made it completely miserable for anyone involved with the government. And well, it’s going to be a revolving door for the foreseeable future.

The number of Americans seeking a career in the U.S. diplomatic corps has declined in the first two years of the Trump administration, reaching the lowest level since 2008, according to State Department numbers obtained exclusively by NBC News.

Although President Donald Trump's unpredictable, go-it-alone foreign policy has caused apprehension among some prospective applicants, and led some senior diplomats to resign, the cause of the drop remains unclear.

But coupled with budget pressures and a survey showing declining morale at the State Department, veterans of the diplomatic corps worry that the long-term health of the institution charged with safeguarding America's interests abroad could be at risk if current trends continue.

The competitive process to join the ranks of U.S. diplomats starts with the Foreign Service Officer Test, a demanding exam given three times a year. Between October 2017 and October 2018, only 8,685 people chose to take the test, a 22 percent decline compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the State Department's numbers.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/fewer-americans-are-opting-careers-state-department-n973631




[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A+
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

There is no next week! This is it, we are done. Thanks for taking us down the government wormhole everybody, and see you on the other side!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Cypress Hill[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is America’s foremost premiere stoner band. Their latest album is called “Elephants On Acid”. You can see them on tour through March and April including a stop March 23rd at the Wiltern. Playing their song “Band Of Gypsies”, give it up for the one, the only Cypress Hill!





See you next week for Stupidest State Selection Sunday!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Feb 27, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)
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