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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-23: 2019 Year In Review Edition (Season Finale!!!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-23: 2019 Year In Review Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up UCLA? Has Trump been impeached yet? Well we're waiting! How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Well here we are, we are at the end everybody! It’s been a hell of a season touring universities all over the country. And we’re going back for round 2 next year leading up to our 3rd annual Stupidest State contest! Do we have time for the thing? OK so back when we started the Top 10, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens was just about to hit the theaters, and the hype-o-meter was off the charts. Well, this week, the conclusion of that arc of the saga, Star Wars Episode XI: The Rise Of Skywalker, is about to hit theaters. And Burger King, has come up with one of the most bizarre promotions I’ve ever heard of. Would you allow the movie to be spoiled for you for a free sandwich? I mean better yet how much is a spoiler worth to you? Because if I’m letting one of the most anticipated movies of the year be spoiled for me, it’d better be a hell of a lot more than just a damn sandwich! In fact, actual Star Wars fans weren’t having any of it. So apparently people love their science fiction franchises way more than they love their fast food franchises. Go home Burger King, you’re drunk. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first I have to play Saturday Night Live’s brilliant opener from last week about what happens when things get way too heated at the holiday dinner table:

Happy end of 2019 everybody!!! We survived a 3rd year under president Donald J. Trump! So with that in mind we are doing our 3rd ever Year In Review edition! In the first slot this week is the first two months of the year – January and February (1) when Trump and the entire world was obsessed with the ending of the hit HBO show Game Of Thrones, and Trump thought he was the one who was going to ascend to the Iron Throne because, reasons. In the second slot is the second two months of the year – March and April (2) where there were scandals a plenty which included Patriots owner Robert Kraft getting arrested in a sex sting operation and Paul Manafort being convicted of some pretty serious crimes. Taking the third slot this week is a head first dive into summer with May & June (3) which saw conservatives taking their war on “shadow banning” to new extremes by grilling the head honchos of social media companies on Capitol Hill about anti-conservative bias. In the fourth slot is the meat of summer – July and August (4) – which saw the case against billionaire child molester and human sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstiein come to a head, and the degree of which he was murdered / suicided varies on which media outlet your drug of choice is. In the fifth slot this week is fall – September and October (5) which includes such idiocy as Trump’s Halloween fail, his war on vaping, a whole metric fuck ton of mass shootings, and the Straight Pride Parade in Boston was a colossal fail. Rounding out the year is the winter months – November and December (6) of course, while everyone is figuring out which car commercial is the least annoying, Trump is getting impeached, and the impeachment trial is proving to be the colossal disaster that we all know it was going to be. Now that that’s out of the way, since we like to get you in the holiday spirit, in the number 7 slot, everyone looks forward to Santa’s visit every year, except New York City, which is the home of Santacon (7), and we’re going to ask “SantaCon: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and sigh, another round of the circular firing squad that is the militant religious group known as “One Million Moms” and the back and forth between them and the Hallmark Channel is the stuff of pure insanity, and our resident pastor has some thoughts on that! At the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is People Are Dumb, and we’re going to go through and post some of our favorite People Are Dumb stories throughout the year that was 2019. Finally this week, our 2020 voters’ guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to talk 2020 predictions! Yeah it’s earl but you can never be too early! And the palate cleanser for putting up with my bullshit, we have a surprise guest. Oh who am I kidding? It’s the legendary Vampire Weekend! Really buy their new album “Father Of The Bride” or you are no friend of this program. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]January – February: Game Of Groans
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This is always one of the hardest Top 10s of the year to do because the question is how do you cram an entire year’s worth of idiocy into six short entries? Where do you start? Well we have to start at the beginning of the year of course. The Dems have just come off the high of retaking the house out from underneath this corrupt administration. And of course, Dear Leader wasn’t having any of it. For someone who doesn’t quite get pop culture references, for him to see himself as the champion of some bizarre Game Of Thrones contest that no one else was playing was simply stunning.

When President Trump tweeted out a meme of his envisioned steel-slat wall with the words, “THE WALL IS COMING” over the weekend, many fans of “Game of Thrones” accused the president of never actually watching the hit HBO series.

In the series, the enormous wall of ice protecting the Seven Kingdoms from encroaching wildlings is — spoiler alert — eventually destroyed, which is presumably not the end result Trump envisions along the southern border. But Trump’s allusion to the “Game of Thrones” wall is all the more curious for another reason.

The fictional “Game of Thrones” barrier is actually based on a real wall. In fact, it’s one of the most famous walls in ancient Western civilization — one that may hold a lesson for Trump. A massive wall, said historian David Frye, is nothing without an equally massive investment in upkeep and patrol. That fact is evident in the true story of Hadrian’s Wall, the inspiration behind the fictional frozen wall in “Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin, the author of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” that inspired “Game of Thrones,” has previously revealed that he was standing atop Hadrian’s Wall in 1981, imagining himself as a second-century Roman soldier, when he had the idea for his wall.

I think that’s how Trump actually envisions himself. For someone who doesn’t read and doesn’t get pop culture references (he recently failed by comparing himself to Thanos), Game Of Thrones is way too advanced for him! He should start with something easy like the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series and work his way up! And then the government shut down happened in January and the entire world saw how he greets champion athletes visiting the White House. Remember when that was an honor? Well, he reduced the White House dinner to going to the drive through, because that’s what Trump does. And that’s what he did when the world champion Clemson Tigers visited the White House. Literally everything he touches turns to shit!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.


Seriously forget House Of Cards, this is a House Of Carbs! Then we go to February where it’s Valentines Day and we’re coming off the 1 year anniversary of the Parkland Massacre. But that was completely overshadowed because we were introduced to Nicholas Sandmann and the ultra right wing Covington Catholic high school in Covington, Kentucky. Who were just coming off the March For Women wearing MAGA hats (natch) and then stared down Native American war veterans at the Indigenous People’s March, and the resulting shit show was quite spectacular.

A crowd of students surrounds the Native American man, laughing and filming on cell phones. One boy, wearing a red Make America Great Again hat, stands just inches away from the man's drum, staring at him with a wide smile.

Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder participating in the Indigenous Peoples March, keeps drumming and singing.

The jeers of the students – and Phillips' stoic response – were captured in a video that has sparked widespread criticism and drawn an apology from a Kentucky prep school and diocese.

The students and Phillips had both converged in Washington, D.C., last Friday. The students, a group of boys from Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky, were there to attend the March for Life. Phillips had come for the first-ever Indigenous Peoples March, on the same day.

Videos show a number of young men and women, predominantly white, jumping, cheering and chanting, in a dense circle around Phillips. Many are wearing Trump paraphernalia, and some are wearing clothing associated with the Covington high school.

Yes, that escalated very quickly. And of course since Trump attracts the assholes, he invited Sandmann and his crew to the White House, and then Sandmann attempted to sue the Washington Post and New York Times for an ungodly sum of money, and that suit will most likely never pass muster. Then one of our favorite controversies, the Blackface controversy, ensued once again in Virginia when some old pictures recently started surfacing of Gov. Ralph Northram.

Controversy swirled over the weekend after a racist photo in Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's medical school yearbook surfaced.

The photo, which pictured a person in blackface and a person dressed in a Ku Klux Klan robe, was featured on Northam's page in a 1984 yearbook. Northam, a Democrat, initially apologized for being in the photo, then later said he did not believe he was pictured.

Despite calls for his resignation from several members of his own party, the Democrat is standing his ground and has refused to leave office.

Here's a breakdown of how we got here:

The photograph was first discovered Friday afternoon by the conservative news outlet Big League Politics. It was one of several published on Northam's medical school yearbook page from Eastern Virginia Medical School from 1984, the year he graduated. The school confirmed the photo's authenticity and provided a copy of the page to USA TODAY.

That’s it for January and February, which brings us to…

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[font size="8"]March – April: Scandals And Animals
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Remember the Q Anon conspiracy theory? You know the one where it said that Trump was going to have “mass arrests” and “military tribunals” aimed at taking down the country’s elite for acts of sexual perversion? Well, the spring season started off with the owner of the Patriots, Robert Kraft, along with a metric fuck ton of celebrities and professionals getting busted for having connections to the alleged Miami Madam that has been a staple of the country’s elite. Well it turns out the table might be on the other foot, as Kraft got taken down with a whole bunch of other celebrities and billionaires, which may or may not include billionaire who lives on a secluded pedo island, Jeffrey Epstein. Well, let the conspiracy theories start flying!

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is facing charges of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was twice videotaped paying for a sex act at an illicit massage parlor, police in Florida said Friday.

The 77-year-old Kraft was one of 25 people involved in the alleged solicitation at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida.

Michael Edmondson, spokesman for the state attorney's office in Palm Beach County, told ESPN that the nature of any charges that the 25 people face will not be released until next week.

The potential charges come amid a widespread crackdown on sex trafficking in Florida from Palm Beach to Orlando. Hundreds of arrest warrants have been issued in recent days as result of a six-month investigation, and more are expected. Ten spas have been closed, and several people charged with sex trafficking have been taken into custody.

Uh… except that there is everything wrong with that! And speaking of controversies coming back to bite us, Michael Jackson, outside of his singing career, has never been in the news for any particularly good reason, and even 10 years after his death, stories continue to linger over what really happened at Michael Jackson's Hollywood home known as "Neverland Ranch". Especially when the documentary “Leaving Neverland” shed some light on what really happened when kids were invited to stay over at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch:

As the release of a new documentary detailing abuse accusations against the singer Michael Jackson has prompted debate about his legacy, the public response to its contents is also leading radio stations across the globe to stop playing his music.

A radio network in Quebec pulled Jackson’s music from its nearly two dozen stations, according to The Canadian Press. In Britain, Variety reported that the BBC was forced to deny imposing such a ban after it was reported that the singer’s music had been “quietly dropped” from one of its stations.

And the backlash has led to an almost complete removal of the singer’s music from the airwaves in New Zealand, after the two largest radio networks — which own most of the country’s commercial stations — said Wednesday that they would no longer play Jackson’s songs.

In the New Zealand and Canadian cases, radio networks cited a change in public opinion about Jackson that was tied to the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part mini-series focusing on the accusations of two men who say Jackson abused them as children, as the reason for the ban. The program is scheduled for broadcast in New Zealand on Sunday and Monday.

The sad thing is that death was probably a good career move for Mr. Jackson. Then, as if the arrest of Robert Kraft wasn’t troubling enough, Trump’s senior campaign manager Paul Manafort went down in a shocking blaze of 16 crimes being committed. You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get? Another day in prison and deeper in debt. Yeah that joke didn’t work the first time, but the subpoenas are still there!

Paul J. Manafort, President Trump’s former campaign chairman, has been charged in New York with mortgage fraud and more than a dozen other state felonies, the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., said Wednesday, an effort to ensure he will still face prison time if Mr. Trump pardons him for his federal crimes.

News of the indictment came shortly after Mr. Manafort was sentenced to his second federal prison term in two weeks; he now faces a combined sentence of more than seven years for tax and bank fraud and conspiracy in two related cases brought by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III.

The president has broad power to issue pardons for federal crimes, but has no such authority in state cases.

While Mr. Trump has not said he intends to pardon his former campaign chairman, he has often spoken of his power to pardon and has defended Mr. Manafort on a number of occasions, calling him a “brave man.”

Later on Wednesday, the president said, “I feel very badly for Paul Manafort,” and that he had “not thought about” a pardon for him.

The new state charges against Mr. Manafort are contained in a 16-count indictment that alleges a yearlong scheme in which he falsified business records to obtain millions of dollars in loans, Mr. Vance said in a news release after the federal sentencing.

Now this brings us to April where Trump was coming off the high of the Mueller Report being completely redacted and lots of blacked out tape polluting what was actually said in the report, so we may never know what really happened. And how do you celebrate if you’re Donald J. Trump? Well, you celebrate by going to Scotland where you make some shockingly stupid statements about wind power.

Unlike President Trump’s inability to pronounce the word “origins,” his recurring anti-wind bloviating isn’t a sign of mental decline. Sure, it is stupid and wrong to say the sound of wind causes cancer (just who is the “alarmist” by the way?) or reduces real estate values (it doesn’t.) But it’s also dangerous. This and other anti-science campaigns like the ones against vaccinations and evolution are not just silly ignorance. They’re weaponized stupidity.

Trump’s tirades aren’t reflective of any deeply held belief or well-informed opinion, but instead appear to be informed by, and in service of, Big Oil’s anti-wind propaganda. For decades fossil fuel companies have attacked clean and renewable competition, from working to block local wind power installations to fighting state policies promoting wind. Key to that effort is spreading myths about wind power’s potential as well as its progress, which our Fox News President predictably regurgitates.

For example, take Trump’s bizarre recurring joke were he pretends to be someone who watches a lot of television (ok—no need to suspend disbelief on that part,) but has to turn it off when the wind isn’t blowing. Trump’s own Department of Energy debunks that ridiculous reliability argument (hi, batteries!) along with other energy myths. Wind power kills less birds than other forms of energy, it poses no human health threat, and it is increasingly more competitive than fossil fuels.

The sad irony of Trump’s weaponized stupidity is that it hurts the rural communities and red states who are benefiting “bigly” from wind power. For example, on November 9, 2016, the very day Trump was elected President, the Omaha World-Herald published a story about how “wind has saved family farms across a wide swath of the heartland.”

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Come on, put a warning on that thing! If that’s what passes for your hair, no wonder you make those claims about wind power. But at the end of April something really sad happened when we nearly lost the ancient French landmark of the Notre Dame cathedral. But Trump was celebrating Easter in the most Donald J. Trump way possible. Let’s roll the tape on that:


At that point you almost have to feel sorry for the Easter Bunny, though we probably all know that it was Rudy Giuliani underneath that weird rabbit mask. That’s it for March and April, and the winter and spring season. Now we dive head first into the summer season with…

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[font size="8"]May & June: Conservatives’ War On Social Media
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You know Mark Zuckerberg is a James Bond villain. In fact the scenario that’s playing around the globe right now with the rise in hate and white supremacy and people preferring dictators over freedom, is pretty much the plot of the movie Tomorrow Never Dies. In that movie, Elliot Carver is a media tycoon who is using a nuclear stealth boat to manipulate the headlines to pit two superpowers together with the intent of starting World War III. Sounds plausible right? Well Mark Zuckerberg is nowhere near as charismatic as Elliot Carver was. So thanks to conspiracy theories, conservatives really have it in for social media outlets over “shadow banning” which as we’ve explained many times on this program, is not a thing. Instead… they’re just being hateful dicks. And they still can’t see it even after grilling the head honcho himself. At this point, you almost have to feel sorry for Mark Zuckerberg… but eh, why waste the time and effort?

Facebook banned several prominent accounts promoting white nationalism on the platform on Thursday.

Accounts barred from Facebook, as well as its subsidiary Instagram, as part of the new enforcement include the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, the far-right troll Milo Yiannopoulos and the anti-Muslim figurehead Laura Loomer. Jones was previously banned from Facebook but still had an account on Instagram, which was no longer live as of Thursday.

“We’ve always banned individuals or organizations that promote or engage in violence and hate, regardless of ideology,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “The process for evaluating potential violators is extensive and it is what led us to our decision to remove these accounts today.”

Facebook banned several prominent accounts promoting white nationalism on the platform on Thursday.

Accounts barred from Facebook, as well as its subsidiary Instagram, as part of the new enforcement include the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, the far-right troll Milo Yiannopoulos and the anti-Muslim figurehead Laura Loomer. Jones was previously banned from Facebook but still had an account on Instagram, which was no longer live as of Thursday.

“We’ve always banned individuals or organizations that promote or engage in violence and hate, regardless of ideology,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “The process for evaluating potential violators is extensive and it is what led us to our decision to remove these accounts today.”

I’m pretty sure that’s a live look in at what Trump is really thinking. I mean two of his biggest minions got banned from nearly all social media platforms, because, well, they’re colossal dicks. But then one of the biggest bombshells of the administration to date – Trump’s ass is flat broke! Yet, he acts like a billionaire, just like George Bluth acts like a billionaire.

U.S. President Donald Trump’s businesses lost a total of more than $1 billion from 1985 to 1994, according to the New York Times, which said it obtained printouts from Trump’s official Internal Revenue Service tax transcripts.

The newspaper said Trump posted losses in excess of $250 million in both 1990 and 1991, which appeared to be more than double any other individual U.S. taxpayer in an annual IRS sampling of high-income earners.

Trump lost so much money that he was able to avoid paying income taxes for eight of the 10 years, the Times said.

Over the 10 years, Trump’s core businesses, including casinos, hotels and apartment buildings, lost $1.17 billion, according to the newspaper.

The Times quoted a lawyer for the president, Charles Harder, as saying the tax information was “highly inaccurate.”

Trump, a real estate magnate who turned over the running of his businesses to his sons after his election in 2016, touted his business acumen and negotiating skills on the campaign trail

Yes, I don’t care either. And then this might be one of my favorite stories of the year, and we did an entire Top 10 Investigates on it (see: Top 10 #6-18 ). Why are anti vaccination crusaders hanging on to an old episode of the Brady Bunch to describe their feelings toward measles? Oh measles are harmless – it’s just a day off school! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… fuck you!

“If you have to get sick,” Marcia Brady bellows. “Sure can’t beat the measles!” Marcia delivered the line in an episode of The Brady Bunch that aired in 1969. Fifty years later, it's echoing through Facebook antivaxxer communities.

If you ignore the sitcom context, it does sound like a peppy mid-century advertising slogan for the disease, the sort of thing a feverish Don Draper might have come up with after his eighth Old Fashioned. So, naturally, that’s how antivaxxers are taking it.

Marcia’s pro-measles platform has been a staple of the antivax community for a while now—it’s a popular meme, which means that it’s also T-shirt. Screengrabs of blonde-pigtailed Marcia grinning at the thought of measles are so common in anti-vaccine forums that Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia, got on NPR and asked to be excluded from this narrative. She’s quaintly scandalized that strangers would use her face for their own ends without her permission, without asking her whether she believes in vaccines or not. The antivaxxers do not care.

To them, whether or not Maureen McCormick vaccinated her children, which she did, is irrelevant, as is McCormicks’ discomfort with becoming the face of measles. (“Boo hoo,” read several Facebook comments.) So is the fact that the creator of The Brady Bunch, Sherwood Schwartz, was also a known child vaccinator. Everyone involved can wave their vaccination records all they want and it won’t deter anybody from buying a T-shirt that informs the world that the titular family of a sitcom failed to die of measles on daytime television. This meme is not about Marcia or any of the Brady bunch: It’s about having a slice of 1969.

Well if you gave someone the measles, they probably wouldn’t be your friends either! Well then June comes and republicans go all out on their feelings about abortion, and as you can guess, is one of the driving factors fueling this wretched administration. People like Pat Robertson have some incredibly warped feeling s on the subject.

Televangelist Pat Robertson said he thinks Alabama went "too far" with a controversial abortion bill that could punish doctors who perform abortions with life in prison.

"I think Alabama has gone too far," he said Wednesday during an episode of "The 700 Club." "There's no exception for rape or incest. It's an extreme law and they want to challenge Roe v. Wade."

He continued: "But my humble view is that this is not the case we want to bring to the Supreme Court because I think this one will lose."

The bill, which was signed into law by Gov. Kay Ivey on Wednesday, only allows exceptions "to avoid a serious health risk to the unborn child's mother," for ectopic pregnancy and if the "unborn child has a lethal anomaly."

The law carries stiff penalties for those caught violating it. For example, doctors could face up to 99 years in prison for performing an abortion in the state.

Hey I’m intolerant of your intolerance, sir! Good day! But my favorite thing about the summer was the utter implosion of the lobby fueling conservatives known as the National Rifle Association. Yes, after years and years of mass shootings, NRATV finally closed up shop, and may are citing that Parkland may have been the straw that broke the camels’ back. So I say this with all sincerity – a hearty “womp womp”.

The National Rifle Association shut down production of its online streaming network NRATV amid a shakeup within the gun lobbyist group.

NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre announced the decision to no longer air "live TV" programming through NRATV on the group's website on Wednesday, adding that the decision to return to live programming is a "subject of ongoing analysis."

"Many members expressed concern about the messaging on NRATV becoming too far removed from our core mission: defending the Second Amendment," LaPierre wrote. "So, after careful consideration, I am announcing that starting today we are undergoing a significant change in our communications strategy."

The decision comes after two prominent board members criticized the online media branch's direction in March, The New York Times reported.

That’s it for May and June, now we trod head first into the meat of summer with…

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[font size="8"]July – August: Epstein Gets Suicided
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Summertime, and the livin’s easy. Top 10 is on the microphone to Ras MG. All the people in the dance will agree that we’re well qualified to represent the LBC. G. Me and Louis, we go run to the party, dance to the rhythm, it gets harder… OK I’m no Brad Nowell but that was my Sublime chunk. We are well into the summer and halfway through the year now. Don’t worry, we will get into the Epstein tragedy in a few minutes. But first I want to talk about how Trump don’t know much about anything – biology, history, you name it. Especially history. I don’t want to say that Trump most likely slept through history class, and probably biology class as well. At least that was the case during his July 4th Americagasm Spectacular held at the National Mall

President Donald Trump celebrated "the greatest political journey in human history" Thursday in a Fourth of July commemoration before a soggy, cheering crowd of spectators, many of them invited, on the grounds of the Lincoln Memorial. Supporters welcomed his tribute to the U.S. military while protesters assailed him for putting himself center stage on a holiday devoted to unity.

Trump called on Americans to "stay true to our cause" in a "Salute to America" program that adhered to patriotic themes and hailed an eclectic mix of history's heroes, from the armed forces, space, civil rights and other endeavors of American life.

While the president avoided diversions into his agenda or re-election campaign, his speech, however, contained historical errors. In outlining the history of Independence Day, Trump claimed the Army "took over the airports" during the American Revolution and evoked the battle of Fort McHenry, which occurred decades later during the War of 1812. There was no air travel in America in the 18th century.

"In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified Army out of the Revolutionary Forces encamped around Boston and New York," Trump said. "... Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rocket’s red glare it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant."

Oh it absolutely was a disaster. But before we get into Jeffrey Epstein, we got to talk about another conservative related tragedy – the Seth Rich conspiracy theory. We found out that the conspiracy peddled by everyone from Alex Jones to Sean Hannity to Rush Limbaugh – that said that DNC staffer Seth Rich was gunned down to cover up evidence of election rigging and profiteering, and it was an intentional hit job – was revealed to be a steaming load of BS. And when Fox News tells you it’s bullshit, it’s bullshit.

In the summer of 2016, Russian intelligence agents secretly planted a fake report claiming that Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich was gunned down by a squad of assassins working for Hillary Clinton, giving rise to a notorious conspiracy theory that captivated conservative activists and was later promoted from inside President Trump’s White House, a Yahoo News investigation has found.

Russia’s foreign intelligence service, known as the SVR, first circulated a phony “bulletin” — disguised to read as a real intelligence report —about the alleged murder of the former DNC staffer on July 13, 2016, according to the U.S. federal prosecutor who was in charge of the Rich case. That was just three days after Rich, 27, was killed in what police believed was a botched robbery while walking home to his group house in the Bloomingdale neighborhood of Washington, D.C., about 30 blocks north of the Capitol.

The purported details in the SVR account seemed improbable on their face: that Rich, a data director in the DNC’s voter protection division, was on his way to alert the FBI to corrupt dealings by Clinton when he was slain in the early hours of a Sunday morning by the former secretary of state’s hit squad.

Yet in a graphic example of how fake news infects the internet, those precise details popped up the same day on an obscure website, whatdoesitmean.com, that is a frequent vehicle for Russian propaganda. The website’s article, which attributed its claims to “Russian intelligence,” was the first known instance of Rich’s murder being publicly linked to a political conspiracy.

Damn right, sir!!! Now that we’ve stalled enough, we got to get through the Jeffrey Epstein mess, which is what happened when he got locked up. The mess was so huge that it caused yet another huge resignation in the Trump camp – Alex Acosta. Which probably marks that as the 1,242,563,659,304th resignation from the Trump camp.

President Donald Trump announced Friday that Labor Secretary Alex Acosta has resigned, a move that comes after furor over a plea deal with Jeffrey Epstein.

Acosta has been under renewed scrutiny over his previous role as the US attorney in Miami, during which he negotiated the 2008 plea deal with Epstein. Epstein, a well-connected multi-millionaire, avoided a federal trial at the time and served only 13 months in prison for state prostitution charges over his involvement with underage girls. A Miami Herald investigation published last November described the plea deal, negotiated by Acosta, as the "deal of a lifetime."

Acosta's resignation is effective next Friday. Trump said the labor secretary will be replaced on an acting basis by the current deputy secretary, Pat Pizzella.

Acosta, standing next to Trump outside the White House before the President departed for a trip, said he resigned to remove himself as a distraction.

Good point! Then tragedy struck as Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. Now, here’s where the whole thing goes to shit. Conspiracy theorists on both sides are making the claim that he didn’t kill himself – he was murdered. And the degree of suicided varies on which news outlet is doing the reporting, and who gets the blame depends on what your late night or AM radio talk show of choice is.

News that wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein was found dead Saturday morning in his jail cell has raised questions of how a high-profile suspect was able to apparently kill himself inside one of the country’s most high-security prisons.

Epstein, who was arrested in July for the alleged sex trafficking of minors, died at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, located in downtown New York City. The FBI and DOJ have launched investigations into Epstein’s death.

With a lack of answers coming from prison officials, conspiracy theories flourished on social media over the weekend with #EpsteinMurder trending worldwide.

Citing ongoing investigations into Epstein’s death, the Bureau of Prisons has been hush about specific details that led to the former financier’s apparent suicide, leaving only a few known facts in a pool of unanswered questions.

What we know about Epstein’s death

The Bureau of Prisons has released only one official statement since Epstein’s death on Saturday. The statement confirmed that around 6:30 am on 10 August, Epstein was found unresponsive in his cell in the Special Housing Unit of the prison “from an apparent suicide”. The Bureau of Prisons has not released any further information .

That is a good point, madame! One thing we don’t have a tolerance for at the Top 10 is bullshit, and there are some serious peddlers of it. Like for instance in Portland, where the famous alt right fight club known as the Proud Boys fight the mysterious, mask wearing protest group known as “Antifa”, even though we have a reason to suspect that Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes controls both groups and pits them against each other in a fight to the death.
The much-anticipated protest in Portland on August 17 that was instigated by the Proud Boys, a national right-wing extremist group, has dissipated with minimal engagement from counter-protesters.

The day's events began around 9:30 am, with a crowd of left-wing counter-protesters congregating at Tom McCall Waterfront Park to make costumes and plan their actions for the day. Some of these anti-fascist (or antifa) protesters arrived dressed in all black. Others dressed in banana costumes or wore unicorn horns.

Shortly after 11 am, a group of Proud Boys and associated right-wing activists marched across the Morrison Bridge from Southeast Portland, arriving in Waterfront Park just north of the bridge. The Portland Police Bureau (PPB) appeared to have anticipated their arrival, having staged lines of armored officers and cement barriers between the Proud Boys and the left-wing groups, who were gathered in the park just south of the Morrison Bridge.

While individual protesters later clashed, the bulk of the two main groups never met. Instead, the PPB allowed the Proud Boys to march east over the Hawthorne Bridge, which until that point had been completely closed to pedestrian and vehicle traffic. By the time antifa protesters—who, unlike the right-wing protesters, were not allowed by the PPB to cross the Hawthorne Bridge—reached the east side of the Willamette River, most of the gathered Proud Boys had boarded several buses and left, heading west over the Morrison Bridge.

Hey! Stop fighting guys!!! And speaking of fighting, before we close this chapter of the year, we have to delve into one of my other favorite stories of the year not involving Trump. It involves the internet sewer message board known as 4chan. A teenage social media influencer known as Bianca Davis was murdered (we delve into this in Idiots #7-4 ). And 4chan went completely off the wall insane posting her dead body all over the internet, possibly committing multiple felonies in the process. Yeah you don’t want to do that, it makes a bad situation that much worse.

A young woman active on social media was brutally murdered, with gruesome photos of her body posted to Instagram and other platforms.

Horrific images of 17-year-old Bianca Devins were posted on Instagram early Sunday, after she went to a concert in Queens with Brandon Andrew Clark.

Clark, 21, reportedly called police on himself, according to Lt. Bryan Coromato. When he was discovered in his car in Utica, Clark reportedly slit his own throat and posted pictures of his bleeding neck on Instagram as well.

Devins, who was a popular "egirl" on Tik Tok, was was found dead outside the SUV. Clark was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. The two reportedly met online, and had been seeing each other for about two months before the night of the concert, by Canadian musician Nicole Dollenganger.

Bianca's sister, Olivia Devins, later called Clark a "close family friend."

I love that show! That’s it for the summer, now we head straight for fall in…

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[font size="8"]September – October: Vaping Death
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The fall season for idiocy was so insane that I had to name it after a Metallica song because, well, it sounds pretty metal! I mean “Vaping Death” sounds a lot like the Metallica song “Creeping Death” doesn’t it? Well before we get into that, September is of course hurricane season, with Hurricane Dorian raving through the Gulf Coast. But up in the North, there was an insane thing that happened, and we missed a chance to cover it, because our show at Syracuse got cancelled. But that thing is the Straight Pride Parade in Boston, which was needed to be held because, reasons. And of course the usual band of alt right assholes, not only organized it, but showed up at the event and turned it into the shit show we all knew it would devolve into.

A "Straight Pride" parade in downtown Boston attracted counterprotesters -- and a heavy police presence -- resulting in almost three dozen arrests.

A large number of counterprotesters taunted marchers Saturday and chanted "Alt right, get off our streets, no justice, no peace." Counterprotesters outnumbered the parade participants, CNN affiliate WCVB reported. Boston's mayor also condemned the parade, and encouraged residents to attend block parties and other events that celebrated the city.

Thirty-four people were arrested at the parade, said Boston Police Officer James Moccia, a department spokesman. Four officers also suffered non-life threatening injuries, he said.

The parade started around noon at Copley Square and moved down Boylston and Tremont streets, ending at City Hall Plaza.

Floats and signs expressed pro-military and pro-Trump sentiments, such as "Support our troops" and "Build the wall and crime will fall." A man in a jester's hat carried a sign saying "Great to be straight" as he danced down the street.

Seriously, even the Delta House had a better taste in float decoration than the people attending the Straight Pride Parade did. Maybe they could take some decorating tips from the Queer Eye guys? I’m just saying. But while everyone was still reeling from a string of recent mass shootings, Trump had to go and ban vaping because – shocker – people *MIGHT* die from it. Yeah 6 deaths from vaping vs nearly 80,000 this year alone from guns. Which is more important? Well…

A teenager who says vaping gave him lungs “like a 70-year-old” is suing a leading e-cigarettes company.

Adam Hergenreder, an 18-year-old from Illinois, has accused Juul of marketing e-cigarettes to young people with the message that vaping could boost their social status

He underwent hospital treatment at the end of August for nausea and laboured breathing after using e-cigarettes for more than 18 months.

"I'm 18 years old. My lungs are like a 70-year-old's," he told CBS while in hospital. “My lungs will never be the same."

In a statement on Friday, Juul said it had “never marketed to youth” and argued its products were meant to help adult smokers quit traditional cigarettes.

No, don’t smoke to that, it will wreck your lungs! But Vaping Death sounds pretty metal doesn’t it? Then the Trump campaign headed to Michigan where Mike Pence went to a whistle stop in Mackinac Island – a place that famously has not allowed cars since the automobile was invented. And this comes *AFTER* the Trump administration decided that cars “have too much junk on them” (see: Idiots #7-13 ). Cue The Dude – this aggression will not stand, man!

Mackinac Island (pronounced "Mackinaw" ) draws nearly a million visitors each year and is regarded as one of the most precious natural resources in Michigan. Just 450 people live on the small destination, and they get around by bike.

"Bikes are just our way of life," Mary McGuire Slevin, the executive director of the Mackinac Island Tourism Bureau, told the sustainable-business news site TriplePundit. "They are like a part of our bodies, we don't even think about it. When I see a tourist go out for a bike ride around the circumference of the island, you can just tell the difference when they come pedaling back into town — they are more relaxed and have a big smile on their face."

Even Gerald Ford, the only president from Michigan, traveled by horse-drawn carriage when he visited Mackinac in 1975.

So when Pence broke with tradition over the weekend, controversy ensued. Several current and former Michigan residents reached out to Business Insider over email to share their thoughts.

" (This is) a true gem that has been assaulted in plain sight," Skaneateles, New York resident Bitsy Jennings Govern, who grew up in Michigan, told Business Insider.

While that’s going on, we also have to tell the tale of the gruesome murder of Jamal Khashoogi and the ensuring mystery surrounding it. Did the Saudis do the dirty deed or didn’t they? This is a conspiracy that goes far deeper than the Jeffrey Epstein murder, and it turns out that the Dear Leader whose name dare not be questioned, Donald J. Trump, may have had a hand in both. Jeffrey Epstein had connections to Trump and Clinton, but Khashoogi was getting to close to the real truth about the brutal Saudi regime.

For Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whose henchmen killed and dismembered Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi in a Saudi consulate, life goes on much as before. In the spring, after the CIA detected new threats against Khashoggi’s associates, warnings went out to Canada, Norway and Washington, D.C. In November, the FBI arrested two former employees of Twitter, the platform often described as Saudi Arabia’s closest thing to a public square. Both were charged with passing on information about dissidents to bin Salman’s government.

By then, the crown prince had gone back to doing interviews with foreign press. Thirteen months and one day after Khashoggi’s murder, he presided over an IPO that valued the Saudi national oil company at $1.7 trillion, a world record. And in early December, the kingdom convened the Saudi Media Forum, to examine, according to its website, “challenges” facing the news media, “the formation of public opinion in the new environment of communication and etc.”

And speaking of bad people, one of my favorite movies of the year was the Joker, starring Joaquin Phoenix about the origin and rise of the famous Batman villain. And we can’t get out of here without examining the controversy surrounding the movie and whether or not history would repeat itself with a midnight mass shooting (and we covered this controversy in Idiots #7-14 ) , a la The Dark Knight Rises. So what could possibly await people seeing the Joker? Well, they could, but really didn’t.

Amid concerns about potential violent situations, the opening weekend of Warner Bros’ controversial Joker in New York City will see an increased police presence both in and out of uniform.

Earlier this week, the NYPD’s Chief of Patrol Rodney Harrison told officers that the department plans to visibly station cops at theaters showing the Joaquin Phoenix-starring film. Now Deadline has learned that a significant undercover detachment will also be deployed to make sure nothing untoward occurs inside cinemas in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island.

“This is 360-degree policing approach to ensure safety for ticket buyers in their seats, as well as on the streets,” a law enforcement official said of the strategy to have plain-clothed police in a number of theaters in America’s largest city starting with the October 3 previews and throughout the expected heavily attended weekend. “If something happens inside one of the screenings, we intend to be able to pacify the situation quickly and conclusively,” the well-placed source added, noting that large-scale and security-hefty events go off without a hitch in New York every day.

Still, concerns about threats have bedeviled this latest take on Batman’s arch nemesis since Joker debuted at the Venice Film Festival in late August. Set in a near-collapsing and crime-invested Gotham City of 1981, the Todd Phillips-directed and Golden Lion-winning Joker, which co-stars Robert De Niro, pays distinct homage to Martin Scorsese’s 1976 film Taxi Driver and 1982’s King of Comedy – both of which featured his The Irishman lead De Niro and both of which were stationed in a decaying NYC.

Yes it is! And we’re almost done here! That brings us to the winter season, and we are ending with…

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[font size="8"]November – December: Impeacment Is The Reason For The Season
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Yay, we’re almost done for the year. What? I still have 5 more entries? I just want to get it over with and see Vampire Weekend. Come on, I can see Ezra and the guys warming up backstage! OK fine, let’s power through this thing. So it’s very likely that Donald J. Trump stole the 2016 election and he will attempt again to steal the 2020 election. At the end of October, Nancy Pelosi dropped the big one and said that Trump can and should be impeached. Well, the biggest losers of this whole shindig easily turned out to be Jim Jordan, Steve Scalise, and Matt Gaetz all three of them R-Obviously. And with friends like these – a guy who’s roped in one of the biggest university sex scandals of all time, a gun shot victim turned full gun fetishist, and a guy who’s been convicted of a whopping 7 DUIs, who needs enemies? But the question is how will it end? Will Trump and those who have aided and abetted him finally get their just desserts? Or will Trump be the guy who gets away with it all like in the 90s classic movie LA Confidential? Either way you know they’re planning to blame the “deep state” which as we’ve discussed, is not really a thing.

What do you expect from a guy who's currently suing a Twitter Cow?

But the real piece de resistance came courtesy of Steve Scalise, who brought along a poster to show just how unhappy he is with proceedings.

Exactly how does Steve Scalise think leadership changes occurred in the Soviet Union? Leon Trotsky did not get impeached, though it wouldn't have been the worst thing to get a guy like Stalin out of the driver's seat.

Based on the cutout, it would seem the "Soviet-style" proceedings occurred in the "37 days" that Democrats have been interviewing witnesses behind closed doors. This is nonsense: we are still at the investigation stage. The accused does not get to send his lawyer along with the cops when they interview a witness. (That's not to mention that some of what's under discussion may be classified. People testify behind closed doors at the Capitol all the time.) When hearings begin in the House, it will be more like a grand-jury equivalent—meaning the defense still does not get to send a lawyer or question witnesses. The president will get his due process when the trial is held in the Senate, assuming the House votes to send it there. In the meantime, House Republicans are present for all of this and are undoubtedly running defense for him throughout.

But Scalise made clear his "Soviet-style" label also applies to the rules the Democrats put up for a vote, which allow committee chairs like Adam Schiff to veto the Republicans' inevitably batshit witnesses. Republicans have long sought to disrupt public hearings with made-for-TV crapola. It's not hard to imagine Republicans calling for Strzok and Page, or Bruce and Nellie Ohr, or any of the other characters from the Trump Conspiracy Cinematic Universe. Ideally, the Republicans would call witnesses relevant to the inquiry in a good-faith effort to get to the bottom of whether the president committed gross misconduct, but Nancy Pelosi was not born yesterday. She knows they might just as easily call Cap'n Crunch.

So let’s recap – Trump’s biggest supporters are a guy who got shot at a baseball game and continues to support guns, a 7 time DUI champion, a guy who’s been roped in one of the biggest university sexual harassment scandals of all time, and a guy who’s suing a cow. With friends like these, who really needs any enemies? Elsewhere, the Washington Nationals won the World Series and visited the White House, and we learned that Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman were both hardcore MAGAs.

Will someone please get the U.S. Marine Band off the internet?

The country's premier musicians have taken their skills down a notch, performing the world's most annoying jingle Baby Shark for the Washington Nationals during the team's White House visit. And that's far from the most unexpected stunt that happened when the World Series winners graced the South Lawn on Monday.

Not every National chose to head to the White House, giving either personal or political reasons for skipping the celebration with President Trump. But Kurt Suzuki was more than happy to be there. When Trump asked him to come up and say a few words, the catcher put on a MAGA hat, threw up his hands in a Trump-like manner, and unexpectedly participated in a Titanic reenactment with the president.

Paired with Ryan Zimmerman's thank you to Trump for "continuing to make America the greatest country to live in the world," the fan base that had booed Trump at a Nationals home game wasn't too happy. But politics aside, the most disturbing yet unfortunately memorable part of the event happened when the Marine Band broke out its rendition of Baby Shark. Kathryn Krawczyk

Seriously? Baby Shark? That’s how you choose to use the Marine Corp Marching Band? Really? As if that wasn’t weird enough, check out what Trump did to spend his Halloween:


They can’t even give out Halloween candy without it being weird. And we saw how weird Easter was, at that point, you almost have to feel sorry for the Easter bunny! Getting back to the impeachment trial, one of the highlights so far has been one of the biggest far right conspiracy theorists in the world, Roger Stone, going down in flames. But not before Alex Jones and his merry band of idiots attempted to interfere in the trial and got caught with their pants down:

InfoWars conspiracy theorist and Roger Stone ally Alex Jones stepped up his attacks on the jury at Stone’s trial on Tuesday, broadcasting the name and face of a woman he claimed was a juror at the trial and calling her a “minion” of anti-Trump forces.

“We’ve got her name, and we’re going to release it,” Jones said on his InfoWars broadcast, before revealing a woman’s name and putting her face on the screen behind him.

Later in the broadcast, Jones and his attorney were joined by a person dressed as the Grim Reaper and wielding a sickle. Stone hosted a show broadcast on InfoWars until recently, and Jones and his employees have frequently attacked the judge in Stone’s case, Judge Amy Berman Jackson.

Jones’ attacks on the jury were based on reporting that the first potential juror in the case was a former Obama administration employee in the Office of Management and Budget whose husband works for the Department of Justice. But in his rush to attack the potential juror as a deep-state plant, Jones appears to have gotten the wrong person.

During his broadcast, Jones didn’t show a picture of the actual potential juror, who, despite his claims, didn’t make it onto the jury anyway. Instead, he showed a picture of another former OMB staffer who appears to be totally unrelated to the Stone trial.

Hey don’t go full Infowars, never, ever go full Infowars. Because Alex Jones is an insane crazy man, and it was recently revealed that they just make shit up, which is not at all shocking. And if you’re expecting guys like Scalise, Jordan, Nunes, and Gaetz to make complete asses of themselves, you’re correct on that one because they absolutely did!

Republicans and Donald Trump have sought to smear key witnesses in the impeachment inquiry against the president as having dual or mixed loyalties to the US, due to being born abroad.

The move has sparked condemnation as a bigoted tactic that has maligned career US diplomats and officials as being potentially disloyal to their adopted country due to not being born in America.

The attacks have focused on the Ukraine ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, the National Security Council Ukraine expert Alexander Vindman, and the former White House Russia security expert Fiona Hill.

Trump called the Canadian-born Yovanovitch “bad news”. The British-born Hill told congressional investigators that accusations against Yovanovitch related to a “mishmash of conspiracy theories … an idea of an association between her and George Soros”.

Hill also said far-right conspiracy theories that she herself was a “Soros mole in the White House, of colluding with all kinds of enemies of the President, and, you know, of various improprieties” resurfaced after her deposition before the House intelligence committee was announced.

But that’s not exactly true, Cartman! And by the way, it’s been a while since we checked in with Melania’s “Be Best” campaign, and if you want to see how well that’s going, just look at what Trump’s been tweeting since Greta Thunberg beat him out for Person Of The Year in Time Magazine! And if you want to see how to completely derail an entire campaign in one tweet, look no further than what happened in Baltimore:

Melania Trump on Tuesday defended the rights of teenagers who booed her when she addressed them in Baltimore, a city her husband, President Donald Trump, has disparaged as “rat and rodent infested.”

She traveled there to urge hundreds of middle and high school students to avoid misusing drugs, saying that would make it harder for them to achieve their life's goals. But her remarks drew a mix of boos and cheers, and the audience remained noisy throughout her five-minute address.

It is highly unusual for a first lady to be booed at a public appearance. Mrs. Trump released a statement hours after she had returned to the White House, defending the principle of freedom of expression while reaffirming her commitment to the issue that drew her to Baltimore.

"We live in a democracy and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the fact is we have a serious crisis in our country and I remain committed to educating children on the dangers and deadly consequences of drug abuse," Mrs. Trump said.

The first lady has been using her prominence to spotlight programs she thinks can help young people, whether it's to teach them to be positive online or to avoid drug misuse and addiction.

Yeah you don’t want to go there, Melania. Maybe go to Alabama, or Mississippi where they still support you. Anyway before we wrap it up, I could point out that Kid Rock got caught saying something racist, or Borat himself claiming that Facebook has gone full Nazi, but one of my favorite things to happen at the end of the year was the completely batshit crazy, off the wall interview with John Schnatter of Papa John’s fame, I’m not even going to show the articles, let’s just play the clip, this is 2019 in a nutshell:

Yeah of course it wont if you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days, I think the meat sweats are coming out of your pores, man. That’s it for our 2019 year in review everybody! I’m out!

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[font size="8"]SantaCon: How Is This Still A Thing
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Santa Con, how is this still a thing? You know it’s Christmas time and everyone looks forward to Santa’s visit. Except of course for New York City, during the week before Christmas, thousands of people dressed as Jolly Old St. Nick gather in the Big Apple for a weekend of some hard drinking and debauchery. And the citizens of New York usually don’t want anything to do with the hard partying Santas. In fact these Santas really don’t care if you are naughty or nice. They just want to hang out in New York City and drink, wearing the signature Santa outfits. In fact if these Santas are coming to your door, you probably don’t want leave cookies and milk for them.

It's that time of year again -- the time of year when a large group of people dressed as Santa Claus flood the streets and subways of New York City in what has become an annual bar crawl tradition.

This year, however, "The Crossroads of the World" will be the meeting place for the inordinately amount of drunken Mr. and Mrs. Clauses.

This year’s SantaCon is scheduled for Saturday starting at 10 a.m. It will kick off from Father Duffy Square, a section of Times Square between West 46 and 47th Streets and Broadway and Seventh Avenue.

SantaCon is a massive annual bar crawl in which participants dress in red and white resembling jolly old St. Nick, elves and other holiday-themed costumes.

According to its official page, "SantaCon is a charitable, non-political, nonsensical Santa Claus convention that happens once a year to spread absurdist joy."

The rules of SantaCon are simple - don't mess with kids, cops, bar staff, the charity mission or simply, the city of New York.

Yes that’s pretty much what going to SantaCon is like for New Yorkers. Even the creators of SantaCon don’t want anything to do with SantaCon. In fact actual New Yorkers have been calling on mayor Bill DeBlasio to flat out cancel the Gathering Of The Santas. But there is one thing that all New Yorkers can agree on is that everyone hates SantaCon. No, not SantaCon!

Bill de Blasio could become the most popular mayor in New York City history if only he'd cancel SantaCon, said a man on a mission to put an end to the event.

"It would be a bold and frankly, a popular decision to make," said organizer Jason Selvig, of the comedic duo The Good Liars. "Hell, he could re-run for president on that platform."

Selvig has launched his Cancel SantaCon campaign about a week before thousands of drunken, vomiting, car-punching Santa Clauses are slated to storm New York City bars, subways and streets on Dec. 14.

The petition has garnered more than 300 signatures from New Yorkers calling on the Mayor to cancel SantaCon, the comedian said.

"Hatred of SantaCon may be the one thing that unites New Yorkers of all backgrounds and political beliefs," said Selvig. "SantaCon is the worst day of the year."

However, while New Yorkers dread the now annual gathering of the Santas and all the drunken, Fireball fueled debauchery that now comes with Christmas, the real party is happening in nearby New Jersey, where the NJ Transit System has actually ordered the Santas to keep their booze off of the Jersey trains and buses. Yes, this is a thing that actually needed to be said.

Santa is coming to town, specifically during the next two Saturdays, when the costumed, strolling cocktail party known as SantaCon happens in Hoboken and New York.

Both NJ Transit and SantaCon have some rules. But NJ Transit’s are the easiest for those dressing and drinking as Santas, elves, reindeers, Frosty and Olaf to remember - keep the booze off the transit system.

In fact, the agency said riders can’t drink any beverage aboard a train or light rail vehicle on Dec. 7 and 14, just in case someone is sneaking some Baileys in that innocent coffee. The ban also extends to unopened six-packs and airline sized Fireball bottles.

Beverages and food are normally banned from NJ Transit buses. This ban includes light rail and commuter trains.

NJ Transit’s ban is in effect on Dec. 7 for SantaCon in Hoboken and Dec. 14 for the New York event. The ban will be strictly enforced, NJ Transit officials said. Traditionally the Long Island Railroad, Metro North and MTA have similar bans when SantaCon hits NYC.

SantaCon is an annual bar crawl held around the country during December as a fundraiser for charity. In the case of New York SantaCon, participants donate by purchasing a $10 ticket through that event’s website, which also gives priority access to some locations, according to the NYC SantaCon website. It says $450,000 has been raised for charity over 9 years.

Well despite all the drunken debauchery that follows when thousands of Santas flood the streets of New York City and nearby New Jersey, SantaCon manages to get away with it because it’s billed as a charity fundraiser, and has actually raised legitimate charity money for legitimate causes. And there was that incident where the Santas helped a guy after getting stabbed on the LIRR, which is likely to happen when you visit New York. But that’s also one of the weirdest scenes to happen in New York lately, but even the police chief of Hoboken is sending an alarm into the “charitable causes” of SantaCon.

Thousands of people dressed as Santa, Mrs. Claus and elves descend upon the city every December for a pub crawl that requires a massive police response.

Hoboken's SantaCon dubs itself an "annual charity event for the local community" with the "best" drink specials.

"How many Santa's, Mrs. Clauses's and Elves do you see getting off the trains in Hoboken or standing in bar lines with presents for underprivileged children?" Ken Ferrante, the city's chief of police, tweeted.

As of 2 p.m., 23 city ordinance summonses were issued, 19 of those were for open container/consumption of alcohol in public, Ferrante tweeted.

A wave of police, including 25 Union City officers, will be deployed at 4 p.m.

The first arrest of SantaCon was made just after 1:30 p.m. The 29-year-old male from Ewing, was charged with criminal trespass and obstruction, Ferrante tweeted.

It costs taxpayers about $75,000 for the large police presence during SantaCon, the chief said in a Tweet.

So it’s just like Santa, only these Santas don’t care if you’re naughty or nice. That’s enough to make you ask – SantaCon:

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of UCLA! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know this is that time of year when we take an annual look at the conservative culture war that they’ve been waging since the dawn of time, and it’s a war that no one wants to fight. In fact people just flat out don’t care what stores say “Happy Holidays” vs “Merry Christmas” anymore. They are actually, outright, gloating about it. I mean really, was it ever OK to *NOT* say Merry Christmas? I mean America is a land of opportunity, where all races and religions are welcome. Well, at least they used to be before Fox News took over the landscape.

We're well into the 12 Days of the War on Christmas now, where the lead-up to the most ubiquitous holiday in the history of human civilization is punctuated by fears that the same holiday is under attack. The greeting, "Happy Holidays" is not, you see, a small and voluntary gesture meant to welcome many faith traditions to the American experience, predicated on the idea this is a nation for anyone willing to honor the values of a free society. Instead, the phrase is a heat-seeking missile launched at the Yuletide, an insidious plot to erase Christmas from American life.

Luckily, we've recently learned that Donald Trump, American president has already won the War on Christmas. A group of people which definitely exists were trying to stop other people saying, "Merry Christmas," but Donald Trump stopped them from stopping people from saying it. In conclusion, we're saying Merry Christmas again, folks. Yet such is the power of a mass delusion fueled by simmering resentment that somehow, even though the War was won, the defenders of Christmas still feel it necessary to constantly discuss the War, and how there was definitely a real time where you couldn't say, "Merry Christmas" in America.

Now here’s where I have a problem with that – we’ve been doing this thing for 3 years now and every year we’ve been doing a Christmas edition! Every year! Nobody is making it a burden on you to say “Merry Christmas” or put up tinsel and Christmas trees, you’re doing that to yourselves! Now contrast that with what happened over the weekend. If you watch the Hallmark Channel at all, well, you might have heard about this controversy.

People are calling for a boycott of the Hallmark channel in the middle of its famous Christmas movie season after the channel pulled an ad from wedding planning company Zola that featured a lesbian couple.

In response, a spokesperson for Zola told BuzzFeed News the company had decided to stop advertising on Hallmark entirely.

"The only difference between the commercials that were flagged and the ones that were approved was that the commercials that did not meet Hallmark’s standards included a lesbian couple kissing," Mike Chi, Zola's chief marketing officer, said in a statement.

The trouble started when the ad caught the attention of the conservative group One Million Moms. The group wrote on its website that it had received complaints from people who had been watching Hallmark, and seen the ad with two women kissing.

"The Hallmark Channel has always been known for its family friendly movies," the group wrote. "Even its commercials are usually safe for family viewing. But unfortunately, that is not the case anymore."

Yeah so we’ve been putting up with their bullshit for 15 years. They can’t take 15 seconds of a commercial and then they call us the lunatics? Get the hell out of here! Seriously, what’s wrong with them? This is something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would hate! Can I get an amen?? I mean come on One Million Moms, your schtick is getting old. And even Saturday Night Live was able to see through your bullshit!

Two years after Saturday Night Live skewered Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies in a cut-for-time sketch, NBC’s program this holiday season aired a new parody of Hallmark’s signature franchise.

In fact, tonight’s skit was somewhat of a sequel to the 2017 sketch, featuring some of the same Hallmark Christmas movie character types and tropes, a big-city career woman, a young Santa, a black character with no backstory, a prince, a Christmas tree farm, a snow globe and a gazebo.

This time, the setting was A Winter Boyfriend for Holiday Christmas, a Hallmark dating show created by the algorithm that makes Hallmark holiday movies. It featured a bachelorette, a New York career woman played by host Scarlett Johansson, and three eligible bachelors, a Christmas tree farm owner (and ghost), played by Beck Bennett, a Prince with a British accent (Alex Moffat), and Nick Sr. Claus (young Santa), played by Kyle Mooney).

The skit touched upon the often criticized lack of racial diversity in Hallmark’s Christmas movies. Moffat was “Prince Simon of Caucasia”, while Chris Redd’s character had a couple of lines, and said that he had no name or back story.

The skit aired amid a controversy surrounding Hallmark Channel’s decision to pull a commercial featuring a lesbian couple kissing on their wedding day.

Imagine being so petty that you have to hound the network into submission so that way they pull an ad featuring two women in love and they can’t handle it? And somehow we are the snowflakes? Right. Oh and I don’t have to picture that, that man currently sits in the Oval Office! But there is some good news is that the Hallmark Channel reinstated their ties with Zola and resumed the ad. Really, One Million Moms, you can go eat one million bags of shit. Can I get an amen??

The Hallmark Channel on Sunday moved to reinstate ads featuring a same-sex couple that had been removed from the cable network. The decision came after considerable backlash over the initial decision to stop airing the ads from the wedding-planning company Zola.

"The Crown Media team has been agonizing over this decision as we've seen the hurt it has unintentionally caused," Hallmark CEO Mike Perry said in a statement Sunday night. "Said simply, they believe this was the wrong decision."

"Hallmark will be working with GLAAD [Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation] to better represent the LGBTQ community across our portfolio of brands," the statement continued. "The Hallmark Channel will be reaching out to Zola to reestablish our partnership and reinstate the commercials."

Perry also used the statement to apologize, saying, "Our mission is rooted in helping all people connect, celebrate traditions, and be inspired to capture meaningful moments in their lives. Anything that detracts from this purpose is not who we are. We are truly sorry for the hurt and disappointment this has caused."

That’s because no one wants to do business with these morons, Reverend! That’s it for Holy Shit this year, we will be back on January 8th! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this year for:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And this is always my favorite People Are Dumb segment of the year because we get to go through an entire year’s worth of epic fails and colossally stupid people throughout the year. Not anyone involved in the government, mind you, no, this is ordinary folks like you and I. So where do we begin this week? Well for the first one, going back to the beginning of the year, I love it when people try to recreate scenes from movies and it winds up ending very bad for them. And one scene you should never try and recreate is the driving scene from the Netflix movie “Bird Box”. It’s, well, it’s just a movie, people!

Police say a Utah teenager crashed into another car when she covered her eyes as part of the so-called “Bird Box Challenge.”

Layton police Lt. Travis Lyman said Friday that the 17-year-old drifted into oncoming traffic and hit another car after she pulled a hat over her eyes to emulate “Bird Box,” a Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix where characters must be constantly blindfolded to avoid visions that urge them to die.

Videos of people trying to do things while blindfolded have attracted widespread attention online, and Netflix tweeted a warning about the challenge last week.

No one was hurt in the Monday crash north of Salt Lake City.

Lyman says it should serve as a warning he never thought he’d have to give: Don’t drive while blindfolded.

Well duh! Don’t drive blindfolded I believe is the take away from this story. Next up – remember that episode of Seinfeld where George was riding the subway and he got blindfolded and taken for everything he had by a crazy con artist? Well, this is kind of like that except this guy had a boatload of cash and his own girlfriend was waiting for him in the lobby! This story has everything!

A naked man was getting ready to have sex with a woman he’d just met, while his understanding girlfriend waited downstairs, he told police in North Carolina, but things went downhill quickly after that.

Randleman Police said Christopher Hancock told them he was attacked and robbed at the late morning sexual rendezvous, the Courier-Tribune reported.

Hancock reported he and his girlfriend have an open relationship, and they both went to a house so he could have sex with the other woman, according to WSET.

With his girlfriend waiting downstairs on a couch on Jan. 28, Hancock told police he and the woman went to a bedroom and stripped naked, per WFMY. That’s when two men attacked Hancock, punching and choking him until he blacked out, the TV station reported.

When the Franklinville resident came to, he told police the men were gone, along with his pants and $10,000 he said he had in one of the pockets, according to the Courier-Tribune.

Read more: https://www.newsobserver.com/latest-news/article226410755.html

Yeah the bigger question is where was he going with that $10K? I feel like there’s a huge yada yada yada there. Next up – fast food fights! I love a good fast food fight. The thing with fast food – you get your bag of crap, check your order and then leave. And this one took place at a Taco Bell after this guy claimed they made his Mexican Pizza wrong and things went south from there.

According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”

The man, however, was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way,” according to a police report.

The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”

The Taco Bell employee said the suspect “made himself another Mexican pizza and subsequently left the store and premises.” The man, the worker said, “was angry and upset throughout his time in the facility” and used foul language in response to her repeated demands to leave the Taco Bell.

Next up – ever try to unclog a toilet by yourself? It’s a maddening job isn’t it? Well, these two guys attempted to try it themselves and things only went south from there. Yeah it’s kind of like the Cousin Eddie toilet scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

A man from St. Petersburg, Florida, shocked his roommate Saturday when he fired a gun inside their house and shattered a toilet.

Police said the bullet tore through numerous walls before it destroyed the porcelain throne, local station WTSP reported Sunday. Police arrested Ryan Rawson Montgomery, 40, who, according to an affidavit, claimed he was playing with the gun when it unexpectedly discharged.

After the incident, Montgomery tossed the gun in an area of water nearby. A visitor, Sheryl Jackson, 64, took the bullet, later telling police she wanted to hide it.

Police charged both Jackson and Montgomery with tampering with physical evidence. Also charged with culpable negligence and violating probation in Charlotte County, Montgomery is being held on a bail of $2,250. Jackson was released on a $2,000 bail, WTSP reported.

God remember when Randy Quaid only played characters like that? Next up I want to talk about an epic car fail story back from July. This is the kind of thing that people hate about marketing, and a promotion gone berserk. If you want to see the full story – it’s quite insane. Just go back to Idiots #7-4 . But a car dealer should not be giving away free guns, along with Bibles and American flags. First off, way to placate the stereotype. Second, that could end very badly for you!

A rural Alabama auto dealership is giving away a Bible, a 12-gauge shotgun and an American flag with the purchase of any new or used vehicle as part of its Fourth of July sales promotion.

Chatom Ford launched the campaign God, Guns and Freedom last week, with general sales manager Koby Palmer telling USA Today that it helped them sell 5 vehicles in just 3 days.

The social media feed from Chatom Ford states it is celebrating America's independence by offering these gifts in exchange for buying a vehicle. Every vehicle purchased new or pre-owned will come with a bible, 12-gauge shot gun, and American flag!

The post shows a dealership employee standing by a flag draped over a Ford F-150.

The video promoting the giveaway, which was posted June 19 and had been expected to run through July 31, has been deleted.

Finally I want to post the Florida Man story to end all Florida Man stories. Especially since it involves one of the biggest Disney flicks of all time, Frozen. Of course now Frozen 2 looks to shatter some box office records. Anyway, people, don’t do this type of thing with an inflatable toy! Meth is a hell of a drug, and good luck explaining that to your children! Just… let it go!

A Florida Man yesterday sexually assaulted a pair of “large stuffed animal toys” inside a Target store, according to police who arrested the fiend on a criminal mischief charge.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Cody Christopher Meader, 20, entered the retailer around 2 PM Tuesday and approached a display of merchandise featuring characters from the Disney film “Frozen.”

Meader, seen at right, selected a “large Olaf stuffed animal” and proceeded to place it on the floor of the Target in Pinellas Park. He then began to “dry hump” the cinematic snowman “until he ejaculated on the merchandise,” a cop reported.

Meader returned the soiled Olaf back to the display before entering the toy department, where he “selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to ‘dry hump’ this item.”

That’s it this year for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 18: Next Year
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Welcome back to our handy guide to the 2020 election, which we will be entering the cycle in a mere two weeks, Keeping Up With The Candidates! This is where we are keeping our guide to the mother of all elections, the 2020 US presidential election in one place! Last week, we said goodbye to the Kamala Harris for President campaign. This week, we’re going say goodbye to the 2019 year and look forward to what’s happening next year. And next year is a presidential year. Which means that it’s going to be a colossal shit show. And the speculation is already beginning to run rampant. So what can we look forward to in a presidential election? And especially one that could see Trump packing? To do so we’re going to take a look at what happened to our friends across the pond in Brexit – Boris Johnson was just handed a colossal victory and it could potentially rip the EU apart.

It started with a stunning exit poll that no one - not even the pollsters, possibly not even Downing Street, had predicted.

Echoing Margaret Thatcher’s landslide victories of the 1980s, the early taste of Boris Johnson’s epic triumph came as the clock stuck 10pm and the shock result was dramatically projected in technicolour for all to see.

Could the Conservatives really be predicted to win 368 seats - a massive 86 majority over Labour on a paltry 191? Only time would tell if what looked like a complete evisceration of Jeremy Corbyn’s hard-Left Communist cabal across swathes of Labour heartlands in the Midlands.

This could potentially have some devastating consequences. Now how could this affect the vote here, and many including Trump himself are saying that the UK conservative vote could have a ripple effect here in the States. But while Boris is vowing to get Brexit done, that’s still easier said than done given how much of a disaster the UK Parliament is currently in. Now let’s parallel that with the US Congres.

Britain held its fourth national vote in less than five years Thursday – if 2016's referendum on EU membership is included – and incumbent Prime Minister Boris Johnson stormed to victory in a contest that was notionally about one thing: Brexit.

Yet it was also about a potential realignment of Britain's political identity.

Johnson's Conservative Party secured 364 of 650 parliamentary seats in a vote that drew comparisons, in terms of its gravity, to Margaret Thatcher's election in 1979.

In the end, the result drew an additional dotted line to the Iron Lady. It marked the Conservative Party's best result since Thatcher’s third election win in 1987.

Thatcher, U.S. President Ronald Reagan's political soulmate, launched Britain on a path toward economic reform and aggressive privatization of its major industries from which it has never looked back – or recovered, depending on your politics.

Johnson won with a simple message. He vowed to "get Brexit done."

No so we don’t want that to happen here. Now how could we prevent that from happening? Well there’s several things. We don’t want to be a doom and gloom scenario kind of people, but these things tend to happen. But there is one thing that we have to be vigilant on: bot accounts. The bot accounts are going to come fast and fierce, and they’re coming for your vote. If there’s one thing we need to learn a lesson on from 2016 and last week’s British vote, it’s this.

The prospect of Russian interference in Britain's election flared anew Saturday after the social media platform Reddit concluded that people from Russia leaked confidential British government documents on Brexit trade talks just days before the general U.K. vote.

Reddit said in a statement that it has banned 61 accounts suspected of violating policies against vote manipulation. It said the suspect accounts shared the same pattern of activity as a Russian interference operation dubbed "Secondary Infektion" that was uncovered earlier this year.

Reddit investigated the leak after the documents became public during the campaign for Thursday's election, which will determine the country's future relationship with the European Union. All 650 seats in the House of Commons are up for grabs.

Reddit said it believed the documents were leaked as “part of a campaign that has been reported as originating from Russia."

So what is going to happen? How do we combat the bots? It’s going to take a lot to defeat foreign and outside influence in the next election. And who’s going to come out on top? People, we’ve got 11 months to pick a candidate and we’d better come to a consensus! Someone has to beat Trump and end this nightmare once and for all! But who’s it going to be? WHO????

Former Vice President Joe Biden and Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders lead the crowded Democratic field, pulling in together about half of the support of Democratic voters and Democratic-leaning independents, according to the latest NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist Poll.

Biden leads with 24%, followed closely by Sanders at 22%. Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren is third with 17%, followed by South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg at 13%, all together making up a clear top tier of four candidates.

Entrepreneur Andrew Yang is fifth with 5%; former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar and New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker all pull in 4%.

Clustered together with just 1% support are former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro, Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard and Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet. Former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, billionaire Tom Steyer, spiritualist and author Marianne Williamson and former Rep. John Delaney all get less than 1%.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

There is no next week, this is the season finale! See you next year everybody!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Vampire Weekend[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this post season party started! I am extremely excited to have this next guest on, their latest album is called “Father Of The Bride”. You can see them on tour next July and August, unfortunately no LA dates yet. Playing their song “Harmony Hall”, give it up for Vampire Weekend!

Thank you UCLA! This is the end of Top 10 season 7! I’d like to thank my staff, my crew, all of our travel partners and hosts! The Top 10 returns January 8th with a brand new edition live from Syracuse, New York! See you next year!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Pauley Pavilion, UCLA, CA
Special Thanks To: UCLA
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
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Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 18, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

I think that's every year!

Especially the last three! I'm going to need a long break after this one!
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 11, 2019, 07:20 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-22: Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Whatever Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-22: Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Whatever Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up USC? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Man it is good to be back home! We’ve been touring all over the country appearing at universities all over this great nation of ours, and no, we’re not afraid to set foot in red states, though we probably won’t be going to Alabama or Mississippi any time soon. Well hey, it happens! Do we have time for the thing? Yeah so I don’t know if you saw this story pop up first of all, but someone duct taped a banana to a wall and called it art. And then that art was sold for $120,000. I will repeat that. Yes, that was sold for $120,000. But what made it even weirder? Someone pulled the banana (*DING*) off the wall and ate that banana. I’m no art guy, as you can plainly tell by the quality of graphics on this program, so I am not one to judge art. But really… what the fuck? And as you are probably well aware, one of my favorite TV shows of all time is Arrested Development. I do love all of the posts on Twitter that were referencing the show’s famous banana stand. I mean it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10? Well, this particular banana cost $120,000! And really I’d point out how absurd it is but since we’ve been covering how absurd everything is for the better part of nearly 3 years now, I will just say fuck it, and we need Bernie Sanders to tax the crap out of whoever bought this, but we don’t have time for rational solutions! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Stephen Colbert delves into the impeachment madness on “Don & The Giant Impeach”:

Well folks, impeachment… no longer a hoax! In the number one slot we’re going to dedicate it to all things impeachment (1) including Louis Gohmert’s stunningly stupid revelation on the House floor about future career choices. In slot #2, ugh, I don’t want to talk about this story but really, George Zimmerman (2) can go fuck himself with a rusty spoon, and the NRA can go eat shit. Yes he’s suing the Martin family for an ungodly sum of money. And yes, he can go fuck himself. Taking the third slot this week is Trump’s press secretary Kellyanne Conway (3) and her Twitter feud with her husband George is something to behold, and if you think Trump gets the most grossly unqualified people for the job, you might also be right! In slot number 4, a Russian hacker collective known as “Evil Corporation” (4) got busted by world intelligence operations and we can’t help but cue the references to USA Network’s excellent series Mr. Robot. For the #5 seed this week, is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (5) and don’t think for a minute that we’re not going to let him get away with his absolutely insane ramblings on toilets, bathrooms, and how babies work. At slot #6 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (6) and this week – how could a brewery that nobody’s ever heard of suddenly take over one of the largest craft breweries in the world? We are going to get to the bottom of this insane merger! And in the 7th slot of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (7), is the Christian right gaslighting us? It would certainly seem that way, given their unrelenting support of the unholy Dark One, and our resident pastor has some thoughts on that. Taking the 8th slot this week is our feature “Unpopular Opinions”. OK people stop freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, OK! There’s plenty of dead references in popular culture that you just flat out won’t get unless you were there. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, is a new “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week we’re going to talk about how the German holiday of Krampus is getting mainstream popularity, and if you’re tired of the Christmas ad blitz, have we got a holiday for you! Finally this week is our 2020 Voter’s Guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10), and this week we must bid adieu to the Kamala Harris campaign, but she isn’t done yet! And the palate cleanser for putting up with my BS, we have a live performance from an awesome new band out of Mongolia – The Hu! Buy their new album “The Gereg” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Impeachment
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It’s no secret that conservatives literally lie about everything. They are the party of liars, bullies, and assholes. And the more they lie, the worse they look to the rest of us who aren’t indoctrinated in the cult. Here’s the thing – impeachment is no longer a hoax, it is a reality. Of course you wouldn’t know that if you read the Twitter feed from @realDonaldTrump, he is doing everything he can to distract us from what’s really going on, and his administration is just a flat out dumpster fire at this point. Which is what it was designed from in the beginning. But before I get into the meat of the impeachment discussion, I want to first address Louis Gohmert’s stunningly stupid revelation about your kids’ possible future career choices.

When a Republican congressman went so far as to encourage American mothers to refrain from sending their children to some of the nation’s top law schools, he was articulating a sentiment that has been prevalent among conservatives for a while: Higher education — particularly of the elite variety — is harmful for America.

Four constitutional scholars testified before the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday; the three invited by Democrats — Harvard Law School professor Noah Feldman, Stanford Law School professor Pamela S. Karlan and University of North Carolina School of Law professor Michael Gerhardt — said that there is evidence that President Trump committed an impeachable offense by using his power to request that Ukraine investigate a 2020 political rival.

Republican lawmakers weren’t happy with what they heard — or the places from which they believe these views came.

While speaking at a news conference following the 8½-hour impeachment inquiry hearing, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.), a Baylor University Law School graduate, said:

“All I got to say is: If you love America, mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to go to Harvard or Stanford law school.”

Rep. Douglas A. Collins (Ga.), a graduate of Atlanta’s John Marshall Law School and the top Republican on the committee, opened the hearing stating: “America will see why most people don’t go to law school.”

And Rep. Matt Gaetz (R.-Fla.), a College of William & Mary Law School graduate, sought to paint the professors as out-of-touch offenders of everyday Americans.

Man that’s the laziest country song ever. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be whatever… just don’t let them be doctors and lawyers and such. Because education is bad for the Trump base, it encourages independent thinking y’all! But here’s the best part – all their gaslighting is backfiring on them and there have actually been articles of impeachment produced! So what are they? Well just two and here’s what is in them.

The process for dealing with a President or other federal elected official who abuses their office is spelled out broadly in the Constitution.

In Article I of the Constitution, it says the House shall have the sole power of impeachment and the Senate shall have the sole power to try impeachments.

But the process has evolved over the years. The Constitution does not include the term "articles of impeachment," but a November 2019 Congressional Research Service analysis of the impeachment process explains what they are.

"The House impeaches an individual when a majority agrees to a House resolution containing explanations of the charges," according to the report. "The explanations in the resolution are referred to as 'articles of impeachment.'"

Once articles of impeachment are approved in the House, the Senate takes those allegations and conducts a trial considering whether to remove a President from office. The Constitution mandates that the chief justice of the Supreme Court presides.

Hey Trump guess what? You’re fired!!! Well not yet it’s still going to take a trial in the senate and that could go… either good or bad depending on how you look at the situation. But of course our government is currently being run by people who have absolutely no idea how the constitution works, and we unfortunately got to deal with these people. But is Lindsay Graham really the guy who you want controlling the chaos? He’s an agent of chaos!

Rep. Jim Banks is calling on fellow Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham to ratchet up his defense of President Donald Trump, as House Republicans race to influence the Senate’s GOP strategy in a looming impeachment trial.

In a Wednesday letter to Graham, Banks encouraged the Senate Judiciary Committee chairman to “rethink” his impeachment strategy, in the latest sign that the House GOP is growing restless with their Republican colleagues across the Capitol.

The letter comes after Graham, a top Trump ally, rebuffed a number of the House GOP’s calls for hard-line tactics to defend Trump — including a request from Banks to subpoena the phone records of House Intelligence Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), who led the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry.

But while Trump and his conservative allies in the House are pushing for an aggressive defense in the Senate impeachment trial — which they view as a chance to go on offense and clear the president’s name — Senate GOP leaders are taking a different approach. They’ve made clear that they don’t want the trial to turn into a spectacle, increasing the likelihood that long-simmering tensions between the House and Senate GOP could boil over.

No one’s getting fired just yet! And really people can we stop with the damn polls already? We all know they’re meaningless at this point. Politics in America is becoming like an 8th grade dance – Democrats are firmly on one side and Republicans are firmly on the other side. And no one is going to be doing any inter mingling anytime soon. So stop it, cut it out! No one’s mind is going to be changed on anything at this point, and that’s scary.

Support for impeachment has remained virtually unchanged from last month despite several weeks of public testimony, a new poll has found.

The Monmouth University poll, which was conducted before this Monday's Judiciary Committee impeachment hearing and before the House leaders unveiled articles of impeachment on Tuesday, found that 45 percent of Americans believe Trump should be impeached and removed from office while 50 percent do not.

In November, 44 percent of respondents said he should be impeached and removed while 51 percent said they did not support this.

“Opinion on impeachment has been rock steady since news of the Ukraine call first broke. Any small shifts we are seeing now are likely to be statistical noise,” Patrick Murray, director of the independent Monmouth University Polling Institute, said in a statement Wednesday.

The poll also found that 38 percent of Americans believe Trump's actions are clearly grounds for impeachment, while 15 percent say they should be looked at as possible impeachable offenses.

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[font size="8"]George Zimmerman
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Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I didn’t want to talk about this story. I fought with my staff about it, and quite frankly it sucks. I wanted to talk about Brexit instead but we’ll save that for another entry in a future edition. Words cannot express my utter contempt for this colossal piece of shit, and that is it. Yes, we’re talking about George Zimmerman here. And if you don’t know why he was trending then you will after this entry. George Zimmerman is effectively suing the family of the child that he murdered in that dark alleyway for an ungodly sum of money. And if you think I’m kidding let’s replay that segment from John Oliver about SNAP lawsuits:

OK that out of the way this is how George Zimmerman managed to prove that he’s the biggest douche in the universe:

George Zimmerman is suing the family of the teenager he shot nearly eight years ago, seeking more than $100 million from Trayvon Martin's parents, their attorney and others. Zimmerman claims he was the victim of a conspiracy, along with malicious prosecution and defamation.

Martin's family has responded with a statement saying there's no evidence to back Zimmerman's contentions that he was the victim of a conspiracy.

Zimmerman was acquitted on all charges related to his shooting of Martin, who was 17 and unarmed when Zimmerman shot and killed him in a gated Florida community where Martin's father lived. Zimmerman claimed he shot Martin in self-defense during a scuffle. Zimmerman had faced charges of second-degree murder and manslaughter in the case, which also shed light on Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law.

Zimmerman and his lawyer, the controversial attorney Larry Klayman, allege that Rachel Jeantel, a key witness for the prosecution who testified about being on the phone with Martin just before the shooting, was an impostor. They accuse her of standing in for another teenager, Brittany Diamond Eugene, whom the suit describes as Jeantel's half sister who did not want to testify in the case.

Oh fuck off you scumbag! You murdered a teenager in a dark alleyway and got off because Florida’s insane gun laws allowed you to “stand your ground”. So while you murdered a kid in an alleyway for carrying nothing more than a bag of Skittles, the state of Florida goes full black knight and says that it was just a flesh wound. And in case you’re wondering, oh this gets worse. So much worse.

Klayman says there is “newly discovered evidence” in a recently published book and documentary by Joel Gilbert called “The Trayvon Hoax: Unmasking the Witness Fraud That Divided America.” Both contend Jeantel was not Martin's girlfriend and had not been speaking on the phone with him.

“The research also allegedly reveals that Trayvon’s real girlfriend and legitimate phone witness was in fact Miami resident Brittany Diamond Eugene, who was switched out for Jeantel when Eugene refused to bear false witness against Zimmerman,” Klayman alleges.

Rachel Jeantel of Miami and Brittany Diamond Eugene of West Park, Florida, are listed as defendants in the suit. NBC News reached out to both by email and got no immediate response.

Gilbert is a frequent InfoWars guest who has produced movies that have falsely claimed that former President Barack Obama's real father was a Chicago communist, that Paul McCartney is dead and Elvis Presley is alive.

Meanwhile, activist Marie Rattigan filed a complaint against Klayman with the Florida Bar alleging that “in an effort to revictimize the family of Trayvon Martin” he filed a “frivolous complaint.” She also noted that Klayman listed the home addresses of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit but not of Zimmerman “to protect him from the same harm he intends to unleash on the defendants.”

That’s right – it’s the world’s tiniest violin playing just for George Zimmerman. And of course I need not to point out how insane Infowars is, and they’re definitely not helping things here. There’s no mistake how horrible of a person Zimmerman is. But there’s no conspiracy here, he’s just a piece of shit, and anyone who supports this monster is also a piece of shit. And really do we need to know the motives behind this suit? It’s like that kid from Kentucky who sued the Washington Post for $250 million – there’s no motive, it’s just a legal way of saying “fuck you”.

George Zimmerman — who was acquitted in the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2012 — filed a lawsuit on Dec. 4 against Martin's family for defamation and conspiracy. Callie Crossley, host of WGBH News’ Under The Radar, joined Boston Public Radio Friday to speak about Zimmerman's motives for suing.

"This is a $100 million lawsuit that he filed against Trayvon Martin's family," Crossley said. "It doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe he wants some attention."

A new book and film by Joel Gilbert claims that false evidence was used in the 2012 Martin trial, spurring Zimmerman to file the new lawsuit, Crossley noted.

"[Gilbert] directed a film which says the whole case was a hoax," she said. "This reminds me very much of those people running around saying the kids at Sandy Hook weren't killed."

Oh fuck off. Oh and fuck Infowars for helping this monster. But there is some good news is that this lawsuit most likely wont get very far, if anything it would get laughed out of court at the very least, provided we have a competent judge at the helm of this farce. Let’s ask an actual legal analyst what they think of the situation.

George Zimmerman has filed a $100 million lawsuit in Florida state court. The 36-page lawsuit, which reads like a conspiracy novel, alleges that Zimmerman is "the victim" of malicious prosecution, abuse of process, civil conspiracy and defamation.

He names the parents of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin and the Martin's family attorney Ben Crump along with a number of other defendants. In a nutshell, Zimmerman's lawsuit claims that there was no legitimate basis for his prosecution. Instead, he asserts that prosecutors conspired against him to fabricate witness testimony and that a new book by Crump contained false claims about him.

Crump, along with Trayvon's parents, Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton, denied the allegations. "This plaintiff continues to display a callous disregard for everyone by himself, revictimizing individuals whose lives were shattered by his own misguided actions," Crump said in a statement issued on his and Travon's parents' behalf.

How astonishing that Zimmerman, who shot and killed Trayvon on February 26, 2012, can now claim to be the victim. Martin's young life was taken by Zimmerman who incorrectly assumed that Martin was some sort of harmful vagrant. The truth, however, was that Martin was simply an innocent teen with a pack of Skittles in his pocket, who was having a visit with his dad. He represented no danger to the community at all.

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[font size="8"]George Conway Vs Kellyanne Conway
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OK whew, let’s get the horrible and revolting stench of George Zimmerman and Infowars out of the room and get back to some good old fashioned idiocy. You know there’s a good reason why I post anonymously on Twitter – there’s some real douchebags out there, and I wouldn’t want them getting my name or home address. Plus, you also don’t want to take any chances on running into someone you know online while posting in hashtag games about Disney characters that drink too much, or adding an extra word to a movie to change the meaning of the title. The Big Lebowski Rises. Yeah let’s go with that. But that said, one person you should definitely not run into online is your husband or wife. Especially if you happen to be a prominent member of this insane administration. And you happen to have opposite political views, because that never ends well.

It's no secret that top presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway and her husband, a frequent Trump critic, don't see eye to eye on the president. On Monday, they duked it out on Twitter after conservative lawyer George Conway needled his wife about a Joe Biden tweet.

Kellyanne Conway had retweeted a brief video clip of the former vice president speaking to a crowd, along with a comment: “Sleepy Joe is Creepy Joe,” she wrote. “We need Ukraine’s help to defeat THIS guy?”

To which George Conway responded: “Your boss apparently thought so.”

Such online sparring has become a staple of the Trump presidency. Earlier this year, after George Conway suggested that Trump wasn’t mentally fit to serve, the president called him “a total loser,” “the husband from hell” and a “whack job.”

“You. Are. Nuts,” the lawyer responded on Twitter.

But speaking to Politico, Kellyanne Conway defended the president, saying he should be able to respond after a “non-medical professional accused him of having a mental disorder.”

Yeah so an online feud never looks good for everybody, but this program is based on an online feud between liberals and conservatives, so you never know! I really wonder what Thanksgiving is like at their house. Especially when Kellyanne gets paid to support literally everything this administration does, and George does not. But this isn’t the first Twitter clap back between the two.

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway confronted CNN's Wolf Blitzer on live television Thursday after he played footage of her husband criticizing President Trump and Republicans as part of MSNBC's coverage of the impeachment hearing the day before.

Conway accused CNN of "embarrassing" itself by playing the remarks from frequent Trump critic George Conway, suggesting it was only doing so in a bid to drive ratings and make her look bad.

"It's the same stuff all the time. What you just quoted is said every day by other voices but you wanted to put it in my husband's voice because you think somehow that that will help your ratings or that you're really sticking it to Kellyanne Conway," she said after the clip was aired.

The incident came toward the end of an already contentious segment during which Conway and Blitzer sparred over the impeachment hearing.

Blitzer then told Conway he had a “final question” for her.

Oh boy pass the popcorn because dis gonna be good. You know how we have often talked about how much the Trump presidency is resembling a cult? Well, let’s ask someone who’s not only in the cult, but only a few tiers below Dear Leader, and not only is the Trump administration a cult, it’s very closely resembling Scientology at this point. Just replace Xenu with Jesus and you’ve pretty much got the same thing, only without the e-meters.

Things are apparently getting even more tense in the Conway household. As impeachment hearings heat up, the relationship between George Conway and his wife Kellyanne Conway have “become increasingly distant,” writes Gabriel Sherman in Vanity Fair. A Republican who speaks frequently with George Conway claims that he “tells people she’s in a cult.” The word cult is apparently bandied about quite a bit in George Conway’s circles. “It’s not going to get better until she’s cast out of the cult,” a “person close to George” told Sherman.

Rather than confront them, the couple appears to largely ignore their differences of opinion and act as if they don’t exist. That is made easier by the way in which George Conway is spending lots of time working in Manhattan. When they see each other, they really avoid the whole Trump issue but they apparently can’t avoid some “passive-aggressive digs” here and there.

George Conway’s constant attacks on the administration don’t just bother his wife though. It seems Donald Trump himself is not too happy with the situation and has blamed Kellyanne for the situation: “George gets all his power from you,” he reportedly told her recently. The situation is so bad that Jared Kushner is pushing for Kellyanne Conway’s ouster but so far Trump doesn’t seem convinced.

If there’s one thing you need to know about a cult is that you never, ever question Dear Leader or there will be some consequences! Also if there’s one thing you don’t do either, it’s get between a couple who has dueling political differences. I’m just saying you don’t want to be that guy because it could get really ugly for everyone involved, especially you. Think of it like drinking that mysterious green liquid thinking it’s Mountain Dew but it really is radioactive toxic waste. Actually, radioactive toxic waste and Mountain Dew pretty much have the same color. I’m rambling again.

George Conway slammed President Donald Trump's 2020 campaign manager, Brad Parscale, after the official issued a personal attack against the husband of White House senior counselor Kellyanne Conway.

Parscale's initial criticism came in a tweet commenting on a sarcastic post by George Conway. In his tweet, the attorney and staunch Trump critic shared a post highlighting the book cover of The Toddler In Chief, which includes an image of the infamous Trump baby balloon. Conway quipped, "Who cares if there's any text."

Trump's campaign manager then retweeted Conway's post, describing the attorney as "irrelevant" and a "lost puppy."

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[font size="8"]Evil Corporation
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This is some next level James Bond shit come to life. Remember the Pierce Brosnan flick Goldeneye? In the movie, a group of Russian hackers planned to take over the Bank Of England by using a satellite to fry the bank servers. Eh. In 2019 all they need now is your login information and bank account password and they can get in that way. You don’t need to fry servers and use expensive satellites, either, it would be too hard on your profit margins. In real life, while you were sleeping last week, the FBI nailed a Russian hacking group called “Evil Corporation” – yes, that’s the name, and it’s not at all obvious what they are up to. They’re out to steal your identity and your money. Now if only we had someone as charismatic as Pierce Brosnan to stop them!

The US Treasury Department announced new sanctions Thursday on a Russian-based cybercriminal organization called "Evil Corp" for using malware to steal more than $100 million from hundreds of banks and financial institutions.

Specifically, Evil Corp used the malware known as Dridex to "infect computers and harvest login credentials from hundreds of banks and financial institutions in over 40 countries, causing more than $100 million in theft," according to the Treasury Department.

US banks were a prime target, a senior administration official said Thursday.

"Treasury is sanctioning Evil Corp as part of a sweeping action against one of the world's most prolific cybercriminal organizations. This coordinated action is intended to disrupt the massive phishing campaigns orchestrated by this Russian-based hacker group," Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said in a statement.

"OFAC's action is part of a multiyear effort with key NATO allies, including the United Kingdom. Our goal is to shut down Evil Corp, deter the distribution of Dridex, target the 'money mule' network used to transfer stolen funds, and ultimately to protect our citizens from the group's criminal activities," he added.

Come on, you really need to place sanctions on a group that calls itself “Evil Corporation”? That will only encourage them further. It’s like giving Neo Nazis a safe space. Oh wait, we actually do that. But here’s the scary thing is that we actually may not know the true damage of what Evil Corp has been up to and the hacks could be going back decades! I am sure their boss Vladimir Putin is pleased!

The U.S. unveiled criminal charges and sanctions against members of a group that calls itself Evil Corp, which authorities blame for some of the worst computer hacking and bank fraudschemes of the past decade.

The Justice Department, working mainly with the Treasury Department and British authorities, brought conspiracy and fraud charges against members of the group. It said the group “has been engaged in cybercrime on an almost unimaginable scale,” using malware to steal tens of millions of dollars from customers doing online banking. Treasury said on Thursday it would sanction Evil Corp and its leaders for cyber-thefts committed at hundreds of financial institutions around the world.

The organization’s alleged leader, identified as Maksim Yakubets, also worked for Russia’s Federal Security Service intelligence agency, according to the Treasury Department. Yakubets was directed to work on projects for the Russian state starting in 2017, it said. The Russian ambassador to the U.S., Anatoly Antonov, called the accusation “groundless.”

Yeah where is that guy when you need him? And speaking of James Bond, if you’re picturing this group to live the life of a lavish James Bond villain, well, you’re not that far off. These guys really do live in giant mansions with moats surrounded by sharks. They probably have giant laser beams attached to their heads, too. This is where it gets really weird. Because why wouldn’t it?

The millionaire leader of what authorities have called "the world's most harmful cyber crime group," Evil Corp, lives a life full of luxury items and exotic animals.

Maksim "Aqua" Yakubets, a 32-year-old Russian man, was indicted on Thursday by US authorities. He's charged with carrying out "two separate international computer hacking and bank fraud schemes" across the past 10 years, siphoning millions of dollars from UK citizens into the coffers of Evil Corp, the UK's National Crime Agency said.

Since Yakubets resides in Russia, the indictments won't affect him unless he leaves the country. "If Yakubets ever leaves the safety of Russia," the agency said, "he will be arrested and extradited the US."

For now, Yakubets still lives in Russia and is apparently living it up alongside his cohorts. When they're not driving his custom Lamborghinis or taking videos of a lion cub roaming an ornate rug, they're posing for photos with wads of cash.

Take a look.

Yeah so if this seems like a James Bond movie – there’s fast, ridiculously equipped cars, giant villain like mansions and tons more. Now we just need an uber spy who is capable of taking them down, but at the very least we have the FBI. And you know how they got caught? You know in those movies how there’s a plan how the villain always has a test control before carrying it out on a massive scale? Well that’s how they got caught.

A high school, banks and a handful of businesses in Western Pennsylvania were victims of cyber crimes by Russian hackers, federal authorities said Thursday.

After a 10-year investigation, Russian nationals Maskim V. Yakubets and Igor Turashev were indicted in Pittsburgh and accused of distributing financial malware as part of a conspiracy involving computer hacking, wire fraud and bank fraud schemes.

The two allegedly stole about $70 million and attempted to steal about $200 million from at least 300 victims around the world, investigators said.

The first victim in the area was Mercer County’s Sharon High School, said Scott Brady, U.S. attorney for the Western District of Pennsylvania.

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[font size="8"]Toilet Gate
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There’s two things that are perfectly clear here. The first is that the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, doesn’t know how babies work. The second is that he also doesn’t know how toilets and lightbulbs work. We also get the suspicion that he spends way too much time in the bathroom depending on how many Big Macs and Diet Cokes he eats in a given day. But you know what? Before we delve into this story, we need to roll the tape on it. Because the entire rant is just… spectacular to say the least. Well, spectacularly stupid to say the least. Hit it!

What the fuck is he talking about? And how can anyone not see this as the ramblings of an absolute mad man?

President Donald Trump on Friday had a lot to say about toilets, sinks and showers.
The President claimed Americans are flushing their toilets "10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once" and argued that they are having difficulty with washing their hands in what appeared to be a tangent about low-flow sinks and toilets.

"We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on -- and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don't get any water," the President said during a roundtable with small business leaders about deregulatory actions.

"You turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out," the President continued, lowering his voice as he spoke about the drips. "People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once."

It wasn't entirely clear what he was talking about but it appeared to have to do with bathroom fixtures with low-flow appliances. He said the Environmental Protection Agency was looking into the issue on his suggestion.

"They end up using more water. So (the) EPA is looking at that very strongly at my suggestion," Trump said, though he did not give details on what suggestions, if any, he made. Video of the President's comments has been viewed more than a million times online.

I'm pretty sure that's a live look in at what Trump thinks people actually do in the bathroom! And to be fair, Trump is setting the American Standard for presidents! I wish I could take credit for that joke, I found it on Twitter. But there is a lot to unpack here and it is the stuff of pure insanity. Oh yes these are the thoughts a completely rational, sane person here. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this nonsense comes from, leave it to the libertarians to install some bad ideas:

In a 1998 20/20 segment, in what might be his magnum opus, libertarian icon John Stossel laid waste to the very same toilet regulations that Trump complained about on Friday. He interviewed toilet pressure enthusiasts who were so bummed out by new regulations on the amount of water that could be used for flushing that they searched junkyards and traveled to Canada to find high-powered commodes.

Stossel appears to be pretty into toilets in general. In 2013, he epically owned any moron who was stupid enough to prefer public provision to private. He tweeted: “It’s intuitive to think public is better than private. #ThinkAboutThis: public toilets.”

More recently, Stossel in 2017 eviscerated New York City public officials for spending too much money on public bathrooms and doing oppressive things like allowing the public to comment on how taxpayer funds are spent.

But the cause’s most eloquent exponent is surely Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.). In 2011, during an appliance efficiency hearing, Paul told Kathleen Hogan, then the US Department of Energy deputy assistant secretary on energy efficiency, what we’ve all been thinking: “Frankly, the toilets don’t work in my house. And I blame you, and people like you who want to tell me what I can install in my house, what I can do.” The video of his rant was blasted out to his father’s email list, Good noted, and Rand Paul was praised for “taking the fight to the statists.” Howard Roark crapped.

Yeah I just needs to check inside ya asshole…. Because I mean really who flushes 10 times when they go to the bathroom? Either they have a defective flusher or they have been eating some shit, both literally and figuratively! And this wasn’t the weirdest thing Trump has said either. I’d show what he said about childbirth but surprisingly there’s a lack of articles on it. Does anyone ever tell him to shut up? But he really needs to at some point because every time he opens his mouth he looks foolish, and that’s saying something considering he used to be on a reality show.

President Trump is no stranger to ranting, whether it’s on Twitter, in the White House, at a rally, or on the phone with Fox & Friends. He’s ranted about “fake news,” Hillary Clinton, and the alleged need for a border wall. But his latest tirade made it clear the president has his head in the gutter. And that’s not just a figure of speech.

At the White House on Friday during a meeting about small businesses, the president of the United States took a break from denouncing the impeachment inquiry to order a federal review of water efficiency standards. In his view, current conservation standards are taking a toll on the public. “People,” he said, “are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.”

He didn’t stop there. New homes, Trump said, have become so environmentally friendly that “you can’t wash your hands, practically.” As a result, he said, he’s “looking very strongly at sinks and showers.” He said he directed the EPA to “open up the standard,” though it’s unclear which specific water efficiency standard he was talking about.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Beer Mystery
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Corporate takeovers are a story as old as time. Usually it’s the larger corporations that take over the smaller corporations. But this is a head-scratching merger that has people talking and is turning an entire industry upside down. In the craft beer world, one of the largest names and most easily recognizable is a brewery from San Diego called Ballast Point. In recent years the Ballast Point name has become big business after a merger with mega brewing conglomerate Constellation Brands. So how does one of the largest breweries get taken over by a small brewery from Chicago? This is a merger for the ages.

It's a reversal of the familiar scenario in which a big-name craft brewer is bought out by a multinational "big beer" consortium. This time, the brewer has been bought back from an international consortium.

On Tuesday, Kings & Convicts Brewing Co. announced they had purchased Ballast Point Brewing Co. from Constellation Brands. Constellation is a Chicago-based company that owns American rights to Mexican brands including Modelo, Corona and Pacifico. Ballast Point, founded in 1996, was a darling of the California craft brewing scene, known for their line of Sculpin West Coast IPAs, and was bought out in 2015 for $1 billion. The mythical "synergy" of the merger never materialized, and Constellation began cutting personnel and closing locations.

Kings & Convicts was founded in 2017 by CEO Brendan Watters, a native of Australia, and brewmaster and COO Chris Bradley of Great Britain. It's estimated they will have produced 660 barrels of beer by the end of 2019, while Ballast Point will have made 200,000 barrels at several production breweries and taprooms. If closed, the deal will include Ballast Point's taproom on Chicago's Fulton Market District, and California facilities in Downtown Disney/Anaheim, Long Beach, Miramar, Little Italy, and San Diego.

“We look forward to engaging the community and getting a connection back to the local markets through our distributor partners, on and off-premise retailers and our dedicated salesforce ambassadors,” said Bradley in Kings & Convicts' news release “Ballast Point has well-established R&D programs and we want to continue fostering that innovation and experimentation by listening to our consumers and serving specialty and local beers in each market.”

Except there’s no such thing as free beer sir. The Ballast Point Brewery has tasitng rooms all over the country including a shiny new one at the Disneyland resort in California. So how did an upstart brewery usurp one of the largest breweries in the world? And also how did they have a billion dollars to throw at it when nobody has ever heard of them?

Fresh off a family trip to Rome, Chris Bradley sat down with Brendan Watters, his partner at Kings & Convicts, a little Illinois brewery. Anything happen, Bradley asked, during his vacation?

“We’re buying Ballast Point,” Watters announced.

“What?” Bradley sputtered. “How?”

That exchange occurred in a Chicago suburb this summer. Similar scenes played out across the U.S. last week, when Constellation Brands — Ballast Point’s current owner — and Kings & Convicts announced the deal. Really? How could an obscure two-year-old brewery from Highwood, Ill., (2018 production: 550 barrels of beer) land an industry icon (2018 production: 320,000 barrels) once worth $1 billion?

The full answer is cloaked in nondisclosure statements, but a partial explanation involves 9/11, golf and a desperate seller. New York-based Constellation was eager to dump Ballast Point, with its plummeting sales and a trademark value — a measure of its worth outside of its assets — in free fall, cratering from $223 million in January 2018 to $17 million in October 2019.

Yes, “what” and “how” are two very valid questions. But neither of them are answered here, and they most certainly won’t be for the foreseeable future. Mega mergers in the beer industry are nothing new – look at InBev and MillerCoorsSBA and all of their various mergers and acquisitions. But usually this type of thing happens in reverse. The bigger brands are usually the ones who takeover the smaller brands.

Craft Brew Alliance (CBA) chief executive Andy Thomas likes to use metaphors when explaining complicated scenarios.

For proof, look no further than this week’s announcement that Anheuser-Busch InBev had agreed to wholly-acquire the Portland, Oregon-headquartered maker of Kona, Widmer, and Redhook beers, among others.

Speaking to Forbes, Thomas likened the two companies’ 25-year history to a somewhat complicated long-term relationship.

“We’ve all been through ups and downs in a relationship,” he said. “Sometimes, you get so used to each other and you don’t realize what makes the relationship unique.”

Before we dive into the backstory of these two companies, let’s examine some of the highlights of this week’s merger announcement.

As part of the cash transaction, which is expected to close in 2020 following a mandatory federal antitrust review, A-B will purchase the remaining 68.8% of CBA that it doesn’t already own for $16.50 per share. That works out to approximately $221 million, excluding about $130 million in liabilities that A-B will also be responsible for.

That is a really large beer there, sir! But with such mega mergers as Ballast Point, and recently Boston Beer and Dogfish Head, and Anheuser Busch’s purchase of Platform Brewery, it seems that the pocketbooks are opening back up for craft brewery, and just like the recent mega mergers, this could be a game changer for the industry once again. Just ask craft brewery insides.

When I paid a visit to Dogfish Head Craft Brewery in early 2016, one of the questions I asked founder Sam Calagione was why so many of his beer peers were selling out to large conglomerates like Anheuser-Busch InBev and Molson Coors. His response: “It was inevitable.”

“The patriarchs and matriarchs of our [craft] movement are coming to retirement age,” said Calagione, as we stood in his brewery in Milton, Delaware. “I don’t fault those that are choosing to sell the majority or all of their company.” Calagione had sold a 15% stake in his company to private equity firm LNK Partners in 2015 to bring more business acumen to Dogfish, but told me that he was holding out on a full sale so his children—then aged 13 and 16—could one day potentially run the business he and his wife Mariah built.

Inevitability came earlier than Calagione anticipated. On Thursday, Dogfish Head announced it would merge with Sam Adams brewer Boston Beer Company in a $300 million cash-and-stock transaction, combining two of the nation’s top 15 craft brewers to better take on competition from Big Beer and a crowded craft beer landscape that’s put pressure on the smaller players’ sales. Calagione has agreed to take a seat on Boston Beer’s board of directors.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Is it OK to mock someone’s faith? Well I do ask because we are an entity that essentially is designed to mock faith. But we only mock faith in general. We never attack or question one specific person’s faith. Because our brothers and sisters do it on the right all the time, which makes them horrible people. We don’t question or attack, we just mock the shit out of them! And we also mock their unrelenting faith in the unholy, ungodly Dark One, who currently holds the highest office in the land, and whose name shall **NOT** be spoken in my church! But really the people who hold such strong beliefs in favor of the Dark One are those who should be mocked and ridiculed profusely! People like this guy:

End Times broadcaster, rabid anti-Semite, and radical right-wing conspiracy theorist Rick Wiles kicked off his “TruNews” broadcast last night by announcing that he has begun stockpiling ammunition in response to yesterday’s announcement by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that the House would begin drafting articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump.

Wiles, who recently warned that “there is going to be violence in America” if Trump is removed from office, said that Pelosi’s announcement has forced millions of Americans to start preparing for the possibility of civil war.

“Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Eliot Engel, Brad Sherman, and Charles Schumer are compelling calm, law-abiding, middle-class American citizens to prepare for the unthinkable: a violent civil war in America fought between the pagan left and the religious right,” Wiles said. “Their actions are compelling me and others to immediately get ready to defend our families, our personal lives, and our properties if violence erupts in America over the impeachment and ouster of President Trump.”

“The Democrats are forcing me to stockpile ammunition, food, water, and medical supplies to defend my family, home, and church,” he added. “This is a bad dream that won’t end, and it’s brought to you by the Trump haters.”

“I strongly encourage you to take immediate action to prepare your home and family for the worst,” Wiles advised his audience. “Don’t foolishly dismiss my warning that a revolution could erupt, or widespread civil disruptions, even civil war.”

Now I know that in our good book it says that “JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!”. Well, since all these people do is judge others, then we will do the same! If you watch the news right now, you know that impeachment is all over the TV and the right really needs to pull their heads out of their asses. And since they pick the pettiest battles to fight, is it any wonder why we’re in the mess that we’re in?

A group of President Donald Trump’s evangelical cheerleaders worshiped at the White House and prayed with Trump in the Oval Office Friday. Among the attendees were White House spiritual adviser Paula White, pastor Robert Jeffress, and congressional candidate Sean Feucht.

Jeffress appeared on Lou Dobb’s Fox Business show Friday evening to rave about Trump. “I’ve never seen the president more upbeat or positive or focused than he was today,” Jeffress said. “And look, this impeachment farce, it isn’t paralyzing the president⁠. It is energizing him.” Jeffress said that “the longer the Democrats want to drag out this impeachment farce, the larger his margin of reelection is going to be in 2020. The American people are with this president.”

Dobbs asked Jeffress about the House Speaker Nancy Pelosi citing her Catholic faith in her response to a reporter from the right-wing Sinclair Broadcast Group who asked if she hated Trump. While Dobbs listened with a smirk, Jeffress mocked Pelosi’s faith:

Dobbs and Jeffress went from suggesting that Pelosi isn’t Catholic enough to slamming Pope Francis for comparing Trump to the biblical character King Herod, which Dobbs said was “pretty nasty stuff.”

“Herod wanted to extinguish Christmas by getting rid of Christ before the first Christmas,” said Jeffress. “President Trump celebrates Christmas, has brought it back to the forefront of our country, and that means bringing Christ back as well.”

Really, the unholy Dark One celebrates Christmas? He’s a real life Ebaneezer Scrooge! And really enough with that “Keep Christ In Christmas” crap, it’s been beaten to death by now! If you guys want to fight a war, you’re going to be the only one who’s fighting it. Really because with friends like these, who really needs enemies?

Pastor Augusto Perez of The Appearance Ministries appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast last month, where he declared that anyone who opposes President Donald Trump must engage in fasting and prayer “because something is wrong in you.”

“This is not political, this is spiritual,” Perez said. “If you hate this man, if you hate this president, if there is something in you that you hates this man, I strongly counsel you to go on a fast-and-prayer and seek the Lord with all your heart because something is wrong in you. You have been deluded, you have been blindfolded, and the enemy is having his way with you.”

“If you still hate Trump, forget about the man himself—the personality—forget about that and focus on what he stands for and what he has done and what he is doing,” Perez added. “He is doing our Father’s agenda. He is tearing down the pedophile rings, human trafficking, drug smuggling. He is also coming against abortion, he wants to get rid of abortion, all of it. He has already defunded Planned Parenthood and they are fighting him tooth and nail. He has appointed many constitutional judges and two Supreme Court justices. He is bringing this nation back to righteousness, or he is trying to. He has given Christians a voice, he is protecting the Christians, he’s protecting the churches. He is stopping all these Muslim terrorists from coming in. He is doing the will of the Father in this country.”

Yes, humbug indeed! The people whoa re indoctrinated into the cult couldn’t be any crazier especially in this time of year. Really, who watches stuff like this? It’s bad enough that we have to put up with these people here, I can’t imagine running to them in real life. History existed before the unholy Dark One and it will most certainly exist after. The sky is not falling like they would have you believe.

Pastor Johnny Enlow, a leading proponent of Seven Mountains Dominionism, appeared on a MorningStar Ministries webinar last week, where he recounted a vision in which he claims that God told him that he was going to use President Donald Trump as “a hinge of the ages” to break human history into two eras: “Before Trump” and “After Trump.”

Enlow said that prior to the 2016 election, he asked God who would win, at which point God showed him a vision of Trump wearing a red, white, and blue bandana while sitting on a Triumph motorcycle on the top of a mountain.

“So, in an instant, it wasn’t hard for me to figure out what was being said,” Enlow said. “The first thing [God] said is, ‘He is going to save you from things you don’t know you need to be saved from yet.’ And then the Lord progressively began to speak regarding that and he said, ‘His time in the presidency is going to be a hinge of the ages and it’ll be known as Before Trump and After Trump because of the way I am going to use him. I’m using him as a trump card, but I’m the trump card player. Your nation will be known as Before Trump and After Trump.’ And he said, ‘The nations, the whole world will be known as Before Trump and After Trump.’ The Lord said, ‘I’m really not interested your all’s vote this time, I’m doing it. I usually give you all that option, this time I’m not. This is a rescue operation from Heaven.”

I just can’t… words cannot express how insane they are. There you go. Next week we’re going to delve into the right wing War On Christmas and look forward to what we have in store for 2020~! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Unpopular Opinions: Billie Eilish & Van Halen
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Look people, stop freaking out about the fact that Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is. Hell at this point I’m not even sure that Eddie Van Halen knows who Van Halen is. Hey I watched The Dirt! Yeah that’s what a lifetime of hookers and blow will get you. Watch any movie from the 80s, doesn’t matter if the references are from Ferris Bueller or Beetlejuice, you will find plenty of dead references that don’t apply to a society in 2019. Dead references are as old as time itself. Popular culture comes and goes. There's people being born today who will have no idea what the hell a Sears or a K-Mart are! The people who are freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, are probably coming from the same parents who started freaking out when their kids didn’t know who Led Zeppelin was. But here’s the thing – Billie Eilish is 17! It’s OK for 17 year olds not to know 40 year old bands! Can we calm down and pull each other’s heads out of our collective asses please?

Is there anything more tedious than a music snob? Apparently not, given the rush to pile on 17-year-old Billie Eilish earlier this week, and all because she hadn’t heard of the rock band Van Halen.

The revelation took place on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the late-night host decided to quiz Eilish on whether she’d heard of artists such as Madonna (she had) and Van Halen (she hadn’t). Upon learning she was blithely unaware of the Seventies rockers, Kimmel’s reaction was one of horror, despair, and glee. “I’m gonna start crying,” he exclaimed, perhaps acknowledging that Eilish’s knowledge gap was actually highlighting his own age. “You’re making me look so dumb,” Eilish fretted in return.

While this was an innocent enough exchange that riffed on the age-old tradition of intergenerational repartee (“young people don’t know how easy they have it”, “old people don’t understand technology”, etc), the comments about Eilish online were harsher. There’s a particular type of person who relishes any opportunity to highlight the perceived ignorance of younger generations. Yet there’s absolutely no reason why Eilish, or anyone her age, should give a fleeting moment’s thought to a rock band who carry little to no weight in the 21st century. Why does she need to prove herself, when she’s become the biggest success story the music industry has seen in years? Clearly, she knows something these older critics don’t.

Besides, had Eilish told Kimmel she was a massive Van Halen fan, hardcore fans would likely have revolted, insisting there was no way she could be serious – she’s too young. There was a similar reaction when Justin Bieber was spotted wearing a Metallica T-shirt in 2015. He had no right to like them, hardcore fans decreed.

Shut up!!!! Take that article’s advice – there’s nothing worse than a snob! These are the same kinds of people who blame bands for being too political in 2019 when they’ve been political since the early 1990s! Like Anti-Flag or Pearl Jam, hey there was a time before Trump and social media existed. But you know what enough of my rambling let’s play the clip.

And here’s where there’s nothing worse than being a snob. I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m totally OK with all of this. But here’s where music snobs need to shut the hell up. People get old it happens. When the young generation doesn’t know the old generation’s music, it’s OK! Be lame and be proud of it! Until then shut up!

Today in “can we all please leave Billie Eilish TF alone,” the 17-year-old singer is being dragged by boomers for not knowing who the band Van Halen is. Which, no offense to Van Halen, but WHY DOES ANYONE EVEN CAAAAARE.

The moment in question went down on Jimmy Kimmel Live when Jimmy asked Billie to “name a Van Halen” and she responded, “Who?”

The audience was shook that Billie doesn’t know who the famous band is (again, she is only 17!), and Twitter wasted no time dragging her. But those tweets are lame, so here’s a couple from everyone mocking them instead:

Meanwhile, Wolf Van Halen chimed in, writing, “If you haven’t heard of @BillieEilish, go check her out. She’s cool. If you haven’t heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They’re cool too. Music is supposed to bring us together, not divide us. Listen to what you want and don’t shame others for not knowing what you like.”

And Nine Inch Nails art director Rob Sheridan also chimed in, saying, “RE: This Billie Eilish/Van Halen thing, honestly, it’s extremely good that hair metal finally doesn’t matter anymore. We worked extremely hard to kill hair metal in the ’90s, thank you teens for giving it an unceremonious ‘okay, boomer.’ Imagine being a teen in the ’90s and people being shocked that you didn’t know or care about Perry Como. Because THAT’S HOW OLD VAN HALEN IS NOW.”

OK boomer. And yes thank you Rob Sheridan for saying what needed to be said on this subject! Hair metal is a dead genre! The days of doing gratuitous amounts of coke and blow off hookers’ stomachs is no longer a thing. Yeah if you want to relive your glory days then go listen to SiruisXM’s Hair Metal station and leave the rest of us alone! Shit, even Eddie Van Halen’s own son supports Ms. Eilish’s claims!

Don't shame people who don't know Van Halen.

That's the message straight from Eddie Van Halen's son.

Wolfgang Van Halen, who also plays bass in his dad's band, is taking up for current music phenom Billie Eilish.

Eilish, 17, caused a stir recently during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Kimmel asked her to name some members of the famed band.

"Who?," she said. "No, who is that?"

"I'm gonna start crying," Kimmel joked.

The internet also had feelings.

Yeah seriously stop talking. Even Eddie Van Halen himself has defended Billie Eilish in saying that it’s totally OK – and as I’ve said dead references are dead references. Doesn’t matter the time or the place, and I’m sure your grandparents freaked out when you didn’t know who Dean Martin was. What? He’s the guy who sings “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie”. Nobody? Well, you’re not alone! I must say though I do love Smash Mouth’s response:

Billie Eilish has been defended by Van Halen after the singer acknowledged she hadn't heard of the popular 1980s rock band.

Jimmy Kimmel asked the "Bad Guy" singer on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on November 22 whether she could name a member of Van Halen, to which a puzzled Eilish responded, "Who?"

On Twitter on Monday, the band's 28-year-old bassist, Wolfgang Van Halen, the son of the founding member Eddie, told fans to check out the 17-year-old singer.

"If you haven't heard of @billieeilish, go check her out. She's cool. If you haven't heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They're cool too," he tweeted.

Wolfgang Van Halen also told people who had criticized Eilish after the Kimmel interview not to "shame others for not knowing what you like."

The '90s rock band Smash Mouth, popular for its songs "All Star" and "I'm a Believer," also defended Eilish, tweeting: "We grew up listening to #VanHalen and we're old as fck so why would @billieeilish know who they are? #NoDiss."

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone we’re almost done for the year and I really need a drink!

So of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we know never to mix politics and alcohol, and we need a break from all the insanity, and also inanity, that’s going on in the world. And while we’re imbibing, the idea is to talk about anything other than politics. This week – we’re going to talk about a really traditional German holiday that goes back to the 14th century. And thanks to a movie that came out a few years ago, it’s gaining traction. That holiday is called “Krampus”. And thanks to the movie it’s being celebrated all over the world. And since everything sounds more sinister in German, Krampusnacht, is now a thing. So tell me bartender, what goes well with Krampus? Egg nog with the blood of a sacrificial goat? Eh… I think I’ll just take some regular egg nog thanks! And don’t skimp on the brandy! What is Krampus? Let’s start off with this story.

Be careful this December. Santa’s not the only one watching.

Krampus, Santa’s evil twin, is watching too.

What’s up with that?

Krampus is the horned, hairy demonic beast of European folklore who punishes naughty children at Christmastime. Instead of a bundle of toys, he has birch sticks to swat the misbehaving rascals he hauls down to the underworld.

Dec. 5 is Krampus Night, or Krampusnacht as they say in Europe, where the creepster is a fixture on greeting cards, candy tins and at yuletide events. It’s an excuse for grown men to dress up as Krampus, drink a bunch of alcohol, and run through the streets frightening children.

Around here, sightings are rare.

Krampus was in the fur in November at Oddmall: Emporium of the Weird, a bazaar of the bizarre held twice a year at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe.

Well it’s like Christmas, except everyone is watching horror movies, everyone’s on the naughty list, and everyone is OK with that! And also if your December music soundtrack is missing some good old fashioned death metal, don’t worry because Krampus has you covered! Come on, this is the holiday that has even the most hardcore death metal bands like Cannibal Corpse singing some good old fashioned holly jolly Christmas magic!

For plenty of people, Christmas is more a burden than a joy. While the message of the season is supposed to be one of generosity, togetherness, and warmth, the commercialization of the holiday and the way many devout believers behave during the Christmas season make the holiday an exhausting farce. This is especially true of metal fans, whose love of old pagan traditions and extreme imagery usually feels at odd with the Coke-guzzling Santas and all-white nativity scenes present during Christmas time. More than one hesher has received a sweater with a snowman on it from their disapproving parents and wished the whole holiday would burn to the ground.

But now, an ancient spirit of has returned to the public eye: Krampus, the Bavarian Christmas demon and companion of Santa Claus, who lashes and terrifies naughty children. A leering, goat-legged reflection of jolly old Saint Nick, Krampus represents the draconian seriousness with which Christmas was once celebrated. And now, as a pop-culture figure, he’s given metal fans a new icon with which they can blaze into the holidays.

It’s only fitting that Christmas has a demonic entity of its own. Most of the traditions we consider synonymous with the holiday — decorating trees, garlands of holly and pine, gathering around the hearth — are pagan in origin, borrowed from the Germanic festival of Yule. In fact, Christ’s birth is believed to have actually happened in May, but its celebration was moved to combat, and eventually assimilate, the lively pre-Christian festivals that threatened to keep pagans from converting to the church. The gods of these old religions, meanwhile — figures like Pan, Odin, and Hecate — were recast as demons and monsters. One of those, the archaic forest spirit that Wiccans refer to as the Horned God, eventually evolved into the figure we now know as Krampus.

Mmm that’s some good egg nog there, Steve! Steve is my bartender and he’s been the bartender since we started doing this segment. Well if we extrapolate this, this means that Krampus is a lump of coal in your stocking. But since everyone who is celebrating the holiday, is doing so voluntarily, do we even really need that naughty list? And if you want to celebrate Krampus there’s celebrations all over the world now!

Terra Blue looks to establish a new downtown Greensboro holiday tradition, for the pagans and the persecuted, with a visit from Krampus on Dec. 7.

“Krampus thinks he hasn’t been given a fair shake and he’s demanding his job back. Come and support him in his effort, and get a photo with him, too,” reads the event description.

Terra Blue, a shop for “coffee, beads and otherworldly goods,” is owned and operated by married-duo Sarah and Allen McDavid, and serves as an outlet for pagan cultures and new age practices, hosting daily readings and astrological events.

Following the success of their Samhain Soiree in October (a public component of their three-day pagan conference called “the Gathering”), Terra Blue hopes to establish more recurring traditions with a nontraditional flare.

“This will be our first year hosting Krampus,” said Allen McDavid, the man behind the various Ribfests throughout the state and the Carolina Caledonian Scottish festival in Fayetteville.

“I’ve wanted to do it for a long time, but the other events I produced kept me swamped,” he explained. “Since learning of Krampus, I’ve been interested in the cultural and religious significance of the character. From my perspective, it seems clear that he is ‘The Horned One’ from the European Pagan Pantheon, demonized by the Christian Church, as has been the case for pagan deities for the last 2,000 years.”

Chug! Chug! Chug! Basically, think of Krampus as Christmas, but celebrated by the Addams Family and the Collins family from Dark Shadows. You still got your holly jollys and your ho ho hos, only they’re carefully balanced out with some demons and monsters, Annabelles and Chuckys. It’s part the holiday you know and love, and part horror show. But if you’re going to celebrate, just don’t do it the way the Austrians do. It’s meant to bring, um… joy (?) to people, not scare the children!

Goat-horned half-demons with scraggy coats of fur, lolling tongues and threatening bundles of birch branches are no one’s idea of a welcome guest on a winter’s night.

In Austria, however, the figure of the Krampus has been part of pre-Christmas folklore for centuries, with men in costumes roaming the streets to scare children and grownups from the end of November to the middle of December.

Yet in recent years the Krampus has developed to become an altogether very modern bogeyman, with a rising number of complaints about the demons acting in a drunkenly and disorderly fashion once they have donned their fearsome masks.

In Carinthia, police recorded a number of violent incidents this year in the run-up to the official “Krampus day” on 5 December, with one person being hit in the face with a birch and an 11-year-old child being left with bloody cut on their thigh.

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 17: Goodbye Kamala
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! The next election is shaping up to be about as messy as the impeachment trial is going. We have promised to take a look at all the candidates, issues, ups and downs to keep everything relevant about the 2020 election going into it, and we are approximately 3 weeks away from it officially being the calendar year 2020. Which means that it is going to be an election year. Which means that conservatives are going to be flinging mud faster than you can bat an eye. And it’s also a leap year so we get an extra day of this madness! Yay! But first, sadly, the Kamala Harris campaign has come to an end. No this isn’t Trumper Games because that madness happens on the other side. This is goodbye.

Sen. Kamala Harris ended her 2020 presidential campaign on Tuesday, an abrupt departure for a candidate who was once seen as a leading contender for the Democratic nomination.
The California Democrat told her senior staff of the decision Tuesday morning, and later sent an email to supporters and released a video on Twitter.

"To you my supporters, my dear supporters, it is with deep regret -- but also with deep gratitude -- that I am suspending our campaign today," Harris said in the video.

"But I want to be clear with you: I am still very much in this fight," Harris continued. "And I will keep fighting every day for what this campaign has been about. Justice for the people. All the people."

Harris' exit from the race is a precipitous fall for a candidate who launched her campaign to high expectations. The senator has struggled for months to move her low poll numbers and said Tuesday that financial pressures led her to end her bid. The lack of support and money led to internal squabbling in the closing months of the campaign, campaign sources told CNN, all of which contributed to her inability to stay in the race.

Well that’s probably how we should be saying goodbye to the Harris campaign. But how did we get here and what could this mean for the remaining candidates? We’re you know just a few short weeks away from Iowa and the straw poll, and Harris had a grand entrance but her campaign turned out to be a sparkler. The bad thing is the party of diversity is turning into the exact opposite of that going into 2020!

When California Senator Kamala Harris announced she was suspending her campaign for president on Tuesday, she was quickly met with an outpouring of support and admiration. Many praised the historic nature of her candidacy; she was seeking to become the first black woman to win a major party’s presidential nomination. Others mourned the loss of her particular perspective in the Democratic primary field.

It was just the kind of enthusiasm Harris had been struggling to find the day before—when she was still running for president. Harris’s surprising early exit from the race reflects the complicated racial and gender dynamics of the 2020 campaign: in a year when the Democratic Party says it wants to prioritize building a multi-racial coalition of voters to defeat Donald Trump, critics say it has largely overlooked primary candidates that represent that diversity to focus on almost exclusively white politicians before voting has even started.

In a moment that seemed to embody this dynamic, former Vice President Joe Biden appeared to forget about Harris when he claimed during the November debate that he had the support of the only black woman ever elected to the Senate, referring to former Senator Carol Moseley Braun. “The other one is here,” Harris shot back from her podium, before laughing along with the audience.

When the remaining Democrats next take the debate stage in Los Angeles this month, there’s a real chance that no people of color will be on it. While candidates like Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, entrepreneur Andrew Yang and Sen. Cory Booker still have time to qualify, the situation is not where many Democrats hoped to find themselves, particularly in comparison to, say, the Republican debate at this time in 2015, which featured a woman, a black candidate and two Cuban-Americans.

Sigh… I’m really hoping things will turn around for the election because we have to beat Donald Trump and send the GOP packing. But the election is turning out to be just as crazy as impeachment. So the question on the table is who could take over for California and the rest of the country now that Harris has dropped out? Well there’s plenty of possibilities.

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said on Sunday that his loved ones were disheartened by Sen. Kamala Harris’ (D-Calif.) decision to drop out of the 2020 presidential race, and he blamed money in politics for her departure.

“Kamala Harris stopped her campaign because of the campaign finance rules and the fact that she couldn’t do what we see billionaires do in this race, which is flooding ads to jack up their polling numbers and get in,” he told ABC News’ “This Week.”

“There are a lot of people hurt this week, including members of my family and friends who are supporting me,” Booker added, praising Harris as an “incredibly talented African American woman” who has “broken glass ceilings at every point of her career.”

Harris withdrew on Tuesday, leaving an all-white set of candidates who have so far qualified for the next debate on Dec. 19. None of the remaining candidates of color ― Booker, businessman Andrew Yang, Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii), former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro and former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick ― has yet made the cut.

In an email to supporters, Harris cited financial troubles as the death knell of her 2020 bid.

But here’s the thing, Cory, don’t convince Kamala to stay in the election, if anything there might be something positive to come from this. What that is, we’re not sure. But the bottom line is that you can’t overlook this exit because as we’ve seen before, elections do have consequences. And we need to keep damn sure that we’re on top of things heading into the new year. Do you want another term of this madness? I know I don’t!

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said Iowa voters, not big money, should have determined whether Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) was able to remain in the presidential race.

“Iowa voters should have the right to choose," he said on ABC’s “This Week."

The presidential candidate criticized the role “big money” plays in politics and how he said money forced Harris to withdraw from the race.

“And so, the Democratic Party which makes a right critique that this -- we should be stopping the influence of big money in politics,” he said.

Booker on Harris dropping out: 'Iowa voters should have the right to choose'
© Greg Nash

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said Iowa voters, not big money, should have determined whether Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) was able to remain in the presidential race.

“Iowa voters should have the right to choose," he said on ABC’s “This Week."

The presidential candidate criticized the role “big money” plays in politics and how he said money forced Harris to withdraw from the race.

“And so, the Democratic Party which makes a right critique that this -- we should be stopping the influence of big money in politics,” he said.

Booker, making a historical comparison, said John Kerry was able to save his campaign in 2004 by loaning himself $5 million while Harris did not have that option.

ABC's George Stephanopoulos pushed back on Booker’s claim of billionaire influence in the race saying the four frontrunners, former Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg, are billionaires.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

For our final Keeping Up With The Candidates of 2019, we’re going to take a look at what you can expect going into the new year and it’s an election year!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Hu[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a really awesome band hailing from Ulanbataar, Mongolia. Their debut album is called “The Gereg”. Playing their song “Shoog Shoog”, give it up for The Hu!

Thank you USC! We are finally wrapping this whole thing up with our 2019 year in review! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Shrine Auditorium, USC, Los Angeles, CA
Special Thanks To: USC
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 11, 2019, 06:00 PM (4 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

President Donald Trump on Friday had a lot to say about toilets, sinks and showers.

The President claimed Americans are flushing their toilets "10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once" and argued that they are having difficulty with washing their hands in what appeared to be a tangent about low-flow sinks and toilets.

"We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on -- and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don't get any water," the President said during a roundtable with small business leaders about deregulatory actions.

"You turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out," the President continued, lowering his voice as he spoke about the drips. "People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once."

I'm pretty sure that's a live look in at what Trump thinks people actually do in the bathroom! And to be fair, Trump is setting the American Standard for presidents!

**audience laughs and applauds**

This week it's our next to last Top 10 of 2019! We delve into Louis Gohmert's head scratching impeachment statement, George Zimmerman sues the Martin family, George Conway fights his wife on social media, we introduce you to a hacker collective known as "Evil Corp", and we tell you why it's OK for Billie Eilish not to know who Van Halen is! Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, how did an upstart brewery from Chicago with 10 employees manage to take over one of the largest craft breweries in the entire world? We will dig past the headlines to find out! Also in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is the Christian right gas lighting this administration? As they seem bent on going full fascist, our resident pastor is going to tell you why you should be terrified of these people. We also have a new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and celebrate the annual German holiday known as Krampus! If you are tired of the Christmas advertising blitz, have we got a holiday for you! Plus in our 2020 voters' guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we must say goodbye to the Kamala Harris campaign. Another one bites the dust. All this plus some live music from Mongolia's The Hu! Wed at 2:00 PM.

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Dec 7, 2019, 04:54 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-21: He's The Bad Guy, Duh Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-21: He’s The Bad Guy, Duh Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Stanford? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! So we’re almost wrapping up the 2019 season! How about that? Our penultimate show of the year is happening Dec. 11th at USC, then we’re wrapping things up with a nice neat little bow with our 2019 Year In Review edition happening on Dec. 17th at UCLA. So that said, do we have time for the thing? Good. Yeah, is this something we really need right now? So Johnny Depp is producing a musical based on Michael Jackson’s glove. I mean… did he not see Finding Neverland? Is he not aware that this could potentially be an incredibly bad idea? I mean we’re living in a world right now where the truth is being told about people we once regarded as heroes… although let’s face it, Michael Jackson never really was a hero. But did he really think this was a good idea? And I can’t believe any sane producer would allow this to go through. Even worse is the name – “For The Love Of A Glove”. Yes, that’s the title they went with. You can’t fault them for putting out a product and this will probably fold faster than a sequined glove straight out of the dry cleaner, but really, we do have this new thing called “Google” that you could use to look up stuff based on Michael Jackson. Yeah that’s probably not a good idea either. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first this is the time of year that really sucks because all our favorite talk shows are on vacation. So instead I will play this clip from the now defunct Jim Jefferies Show where he discusses online data privacy:

There’s a lot of insane interviews this week, and we do mean a lot. In the number one slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, @realDonaldTrump (1). And he has taken ICE to some dangerous and scary new levels, especially when he sets up a fake university in Michigan for the purpose of rounding up illegal immigrants, that also surprisingly doesn’t have his name on it. In the second slot this week is also @realDonaldTrump (2) and while he was going off on his, well, whatever passes for “physique” in Miami, Lisa Page was giving an interview that could potentially be a huge hit to the Trump train. At slot #3 is the #BeBest Campaign (3) which is falling apart at the seams. Melania got booed in Baltimore for promoting her #BeBest campaign, while Donald Trump Jr. is throwing a temper tantrum over his book, ironically titled “Triggered”. In slot #4 this week is Kid Rock (4), or should we call him at this point “Kid Rock Bottom”. Ah, see what I did there? And you can’t tell me that he didn’t hit rock bottom after getting kicked out of his own bar this week. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, and while the rest of the country takes off Thanksgiving, retail is hard at work bringing you the Black Friday bargains that you blow your money on, but what’s it like working when the rest of us have it off? We will find out! In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and is the President really the chosen one? Our resident pastor breaks down Rick Perry’s bizarre interview, and well, he’s got some thoughts. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – actor Sascha Baron Cohen (“Borat”) claims that if the holocaust happened today, Facebook and Twitter would help escalate the propaganda, and well, we’ll say that he’s not wrong. At slot #8 this week is a new edition of “NO!” – so John Schnatter (8), the Papa John behind Papa John’s, gave a greasy, cheese filled interview with the Fox affiliate in his hometown of Louisville, and let’s say that he has an extremely terrible case of the meat sweats! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is our special Black Friday edition of People Are Dumb, because idiocy doesn’t take a holiday and neither do we! Finally this week in our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10), is Pete Buttigieg a racist? After an insane Op Ed appeared in the Washington Post, we will break it down to find the truth! And the palate cleanser for all this, we have a live performance from the legendary Pixies! Buy their new album “Beneath The Eyrie” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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It’s no secret that hate and white nationalism are fueling Trump’s immigration policies. We covered this a few weeks ago when one of Trump’s favorite punching bags, Minnesota rep Ilhan Omar, called out Stephen Miller for his white nationalism (see: [link: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212711400 | Top 10 #7-20] ) and they found out that he is indeed a Nazi. Well, this might be a step toward going full Nazi, and you never, ever go full Nazi. It turns out that the Trump administration – in a no way at all shocking move, but a certifiably one at that, setup a fake university with the sole intent of rounding up immigrants. Yes, just remember that when you see the Springfield Heights Institute Of Technology, it’s not a university that you should be applying for!

Undercover US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have been operating a fake university designed to lure in immigrants seeking to obtain student visas fraudulently — but the students are claiming they are the ones who have been deceived.

ICE has arrested about 250 students at the University of Farmington in Farmington Hills, Michigan, for violating the terms of their visas, which mandate that they be enrolled full-time at a federally accredited educational institution while they complete their studies, an ICE spokesperson said Wednesday.

The University of Farmington, which ICE agents opened in 2015 to weed out fraudsters, did not qualify because it wasn’t a real educational institution: Although ICE advertised the university as offering graduate STEM courses, it did not have any teachers, curriculum, classes, or other educational activities. Its primary selling point, prosecutors say, is a ticket to an F-1 student visa — at the cost of $2,500 per quarter for graduate programs, plus an average $1,000 per month in fees, according to the Detroit Free Press.

Students on F-1 visas can remain in the US legally while they complete their studies and travel freely outside the country. After graduation, those students are eligible to apply for H-1B skilled worker visas if an American employer offers them a job in certain fields.

Well that may be, but Trump has no remorse or dignity, or anything that makes him human. He’s the bad guy, duh!! Ah yes, my second Billie Eilish reference in more than a couple of weeks! And in case you’re wondering – oh it gets worse! So much worse! So it turns out that the people who ICE hired to catch the fraudsters were in fact fraudsters themselves! Can we really pretend to be shocked by anything this administration is doing at this point? Anything?

As has been widely reported, U.S. Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) set up a fake university to snare foreign students they believed were trying to stay in the country illegally. The fake university, The University of Farmington in Michigan, collected thousands of dollars in tuition from the students but held no actual classes. The students had come into the United States legally under F-1 visas and needed to stay enrolled in school to keep those visas.

ICE recruited hundreds of these students to Farmington and then arrested them for violating the terms of their visas, which mandate that they be enrolled full-time at a federally accredited educational institution while they complete their studies. The tricky part is that it is unclear why the students were enrolling in Farmington instead of a legitimate university.

The federal government says that the sole purpose of the students was to commit immigration fraud. Since the school offered no actual classes, the students must have realized that Farmington was fraudulent. The students say they were entrapped. The university appeared on the Homeland Security website as a legitimate university. And, while Farmington was created under the Obama Administration, the Trump Administration upped the ante by actually paying recruiters to pitch Farmington to students in danger of deportation.

As for the government’s argument that the students should have realized that the university was fake since there were no classes, it turns out that at least some of the students were suspicious and were trying to find out what was going on. But they were given the run around by the Farmington “administration.” But who were the “administrators?” Government agents! Furthermore, even students who were only enrolled at Farmington briefly were still arrested by ICE, and held in detention centers sometimes with violent offenders.

That’s one thing that puzzles me about this story – how could the students be so easily duped? Were they that desperate for a degree that they’d apply anywhere? I mean if there’s no classes shouldn’t that be an automatic red flag? I mean the only place that could possibly get away with that is the University Of Phoenix. And that’s of course assuming you have a bad Wifi connection. But this is evil taken to a whole new level.

About 90 additional foreign students at a fake university in metro Detroit created by the Department of Homeland Security have been arrested in recent months.

A total of about 250 students have now been arrested since January on immigration violations by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement as part of a sting operation by federal agents who enticed foreign-born students, mostly from India, to attend the school that marketed itself as offering graduate programs in technology and computer studies, according to ICE officials.

Many of those arrested have been deported, while others are contesting their removals. One has been allowed to stay after being granted lawful permanent resident status by an immigration judge.

The students had arrived legally in the U.S. on student visas, but since the University of Farmington was later revealed to be a creation of federal agents, they lost their immigration status after it was shut down in January. The school was staffed with undercover agents posing as university officials.

Really I don’t even think Bane could get away with something this evil. But if there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about scam foundations, it’s the guy who we currently call president, @realDonaldTrump, he knows scammers, scam businesses, scam universities, because, well, he’s a scammer himself. If you want to see fraud in action, look no further than Trump himself.

Remember Donald Trump’s scam charity? Back in June 2018, the New York attorney general’s office sued the president, all three of his adult children, and the Donald J. Trump Foundation, accusing the charity of “functioning as little more than a checkbook to serve Mr. Trump’s business and political interests,” and of engaging in “a shocking pattern of illegality.” The allegations in the suit included claims that:

$10,000 was spent on a portrait of the president, later found on display at a sports bar at the Trump Doral;

$100,000 was used to settle a legal dispute with the city of Palm Beach, which Trump resolved by contributing the amount to the Fisher House Foundation;

$258,000 was used to settle lawsuits against Trump and his businesses, including $158,000 to the Martin Greenberg Foundation, whose founder sued the Trump National Golf Club after it failed to pay him a promised $1 million for scoring a hole-in-one at a charity golf tournament;

$5,000 was used to advertise Trump Hotels.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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As long as Trump keeps conveying his rah rah MAGA hate rallies, we’ll keep covering them because this is where he unloads his frustrations in front of his adoring fans. Worshipping dear leader is one of the hallmarks of a good cult leader. But why is this being billed as a homecoming rally? Trump is only moving to Florida for the same reason that OJ did and that’s because Florida is one of the few states that doesn’t have asset forfeiture laws. Now save your boos for later. But you can always count on a Trump rally to go off the rails and boy did this one.

President Trump’s raucous Tuesday night rally near Miami, billed by his campaign as a “homecoming” extravaganza, followed his recent decision to move his formal residence from New York to Florida — and underscored the state’s importance to his reelection efforts as he grapples with the impeachment proceedings that threaten his presidency.

Florida is now not only Trump’s home but also what Republicans hope is an emerging GOP bastion. His strategy in the state reflects his broader push to galvanize his core voters ahead of next year’s election by unleashing an incendiary defense of his conduct, be it on Twitter, cable news or in front of thousands.

By rallying a capacity crowd at the 20,000-seat BB&T Center on Tuesday night, Trump tried to demonstrate broad and determined opposition to his impeachment.

The president spoke extensively from center stage about the congressional inquiry, delivering a theatrical play-by-play of this month’s bombshell testimony, mocking former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter, and bemoaning the proceedings as “a scam,” “a terrible hoax” and “a witch hunt.”

New shit has come to light man! Oh yeah if you want to see it really go off the rails, wait until you see what he said about his recent health crisis which resulted in him taking a trip to the Walter Reed Medical Center in Virginia. This is where it starts to get really insane. Oh and where’s the Big Lebowski when you need him?

President Donald Trump railed against news media coverage of his recent visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center at a rally in Sunrise, Florida, claiming it had been reported he'd had "a massive, unbelievable heart attack" -- and then adding he has "a gorgeous chest."

The president doubled down on the "gorgeous chest" claim Wednesday morning, tweeting a photo-shopped image of his face superimposed on what appeared to be the chiseled body of fictional boxer Rocky Balboa.

At his "homecoming" rally Tuesday night, Trump assured the crowd of supporters that his unannounced Nov. 17 visit to the medical facility was for a "a very routine physical." But the visit was not disclosed ahead of time, prompting questions about his health.

"They [the media] said he wasn't wearing a tie; this is a sign of a massive heart attack," Trump said, apparently referring to reporters noting he was not wearing a tie, as usual, as he got into his motorcade. "They said, he went into the hospital -- and it's true, I didn't wear a tie -- why would I wear a tie if the first thing they do is say take off your shirt, sir, and show us that gorgeous chest?"

Trump said that he hadn't worn a tie to Walter Reed because he knew he would've been asked to remove it, before continuing to mimic the supposed interaction with his doctors.

I’m pretty sure that’s a live look in on how Trump sees himself! I mean doctors wouldn’t praise his “gorgeous chest”, they’re probably wondering what they can do to get in his heart in the event that he has a massive coronary! Which at this point is more likely to kill him than an assassin ever could. Yes, that went south so fast! Now here’s where you can boo. He of course blames everything on what else? The democrats.

The two diametrically opposed world views of President Donald Trump came together in one place Tuesday: the BB&T Center, where Trump held one of his signature rallies.

Inside, a devoted crowd welcomed home the president, who recently declared himself a Florida resident. Outside, protesters displayed scorn and fury, along with the Baby Trump balloon, the orange-haired inflatable infant clad in a diaper and clutching a cellphone.

Trump didn’t hold back. He whipped the crowd into a chant of “bullshit” when discussing the impeachment charges against him. He took shots at “Sleepy Joe Biden.” He railed against the “corrupt” media. He played up crowd favorites, declaring that he was building his wall. He addressed his health telling the crowd his “gorgeous chest” is just fine.

At one moment, he said he would defend Thanksgiving from anyone who would want to change its name, and he assured his fans he would easily win a second term.

“The crazy Democrats are going down in a landslide and that landslide is going to start right here in the great state of Florida," Trump said.

Wait, the democrats are the crazy ones? What are you smoking here, chief? I suggest that you take a look in the mirror. Because here’s the thing – Trump’s violent rhetoric is leading to real life violence and is actually becoming a public health hazard. Yes, Trump’s rallies are actually becoming a danger to not only your sanity, but to the greater good of public health!

Trump's violent rhetoric on the campaign trail breeds real-life violence, leading to a spike in assaults wherever Trump makes an appearance.

That's the conclusion of a new study, which found that cities experienced an increase in assaults on days when they hosted a Trump campaign rally. There was no corresponding link between the incidence of violence and rallies for Hillary Clinton.

"It appeared to be a phenomenon that’s unique to Donald Trump’s rally,” said Christopher Morrison, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania and lead author of the study.

The study, published in the journal Epidemiology, looked at data on assaults surrounding 31 rallies in 22 cities for Trump, and 38 rallies in 21 cities for Clinton.

Comparing the number of assaults on the day of the rally to the number on the corresponding day of the week for the four weeks before and after the rally, the researchers found that cities had an average of 2.3 more assaults on the day of a Trump campaign rally than on a typical day.

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[font size="8"]Melania Trump
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Here’s my whole thing – if you are one of the biggest bullies on the planet, you might want to refrain from launching an anti-bullying campaign. Or it could come back to bite you in the ass. And especially when you hold such an event in a city that your husband has attacked relentlessly because reasons, and also racism. But yeah let’s go with racism. And what’s even weirder is that this was billed as an “anti-opioid” event but my favorite part is when they called this a “fight”. Really? What are they fighting and when have they ever given any indication that this is a fight?

Melania Trump was booed by a roomful of students in Baltimore on Tuesday when she took the stage to give a speech about youth opioid use, one of the pillars of her “Be Best” initiative.

A vocal crowd of middle school and high school students erupted in a mix of loud boos and some cheers as the first lady strode across the stage at the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness.

Mrs. Trump smiled through the unpleasant welcome, even as members of the crowd talked over her speech. “I’m in this fight for you, and I’m fighting for you,” Mrs. Trump said. “If you are struggling with addiction right now, reach out for support.” She encouraged the students to “talk to an adult in your life that you trust. It is never too late to ask for help.”

Mrs. Trump’s visit to Baltimore came just four months after President Trump dismissed the city as a “disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess” where “no human being would want to live.” He had maligned the city in a Twitter diatribe aimed at former Representative Elijah E. Cummings, a Democrat from Maryland who was a leading critic of the president. (Mr. Cummings died in October.)

And no they are not yelling “boo urns” in this, they’re just straight up booing you! But also why combine your anti-opioid event with your anti-bullying event? I’m not saying both causes shouldn’t be worth fighting for but at least pick one event and stick with it. The message gets lost when you start combining things. Kind of like when you get a subscription service that has Netflix, Hulu, and Apple TV. Ooh, I get Apple TV too!! But really here’s where it gets weird.

Melania Trump was loudly booed on Tuesday, as she addressed an event in Baltimore as part of White House attempts to fight America’s opioid abuse epidemic.

Donald Trump angered many in Baltimore this summer when in attacking the Democratic congressman Elijah Cummings, he referred to the city as a “rat and rodent infested mess”.

That prompted the Baltimore Sun newspaper to tell the president: “Better to have some vermin living in your neighbourhood than to be one.”

On Tuesday, the first lady attended the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness at University of Maryland Baltimore College.

She was introduced as “somebody who has made it their personal mission to use their platform to make a difference in this particular area, with wellness and addiction and particularly the opioid crisis that we’re living through right now”.

Really Trump, you ought to take a look at your own resorts before you go off and criticize others for personal faults. I mean do we really need to point out how many times Mar-A-Lago has been plagued as a rat-infested shithole? I don’t think so! But really? Drugs will only slow you down? I mean have you seen modern professional baseball players? They take performance enhancers! Of course I miss the glory days of baseball when they took performance hinderers, but that’s a different story.

A crowd of students booed first lady Melania Trump as she was introduced Tuesday at a Baltimore youth summit on opioid awareness, where she told them that “drugs will only slow you down.”

The loud boos drowned out the cheers and applause of some in the crowd at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County Event Center, but Trump smiled through it.

“I know each of you has hopes and dreams for the future, whether it’s college, joining the military or playing sports,” she told more than a thousand middle and high school students. “Your future will be determined by the choices you make. Using drugs will only slow you down.”

Trump was introduced by Jim Wahlberg — the brother of actor Mark Wahlberg — at the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness. The educational event was sponsored in part by the Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation, which raises funds for youth programs.

Well, at least Melania is a bit more sane than her husband, and that’s something about that family that we don’t say very often. But positive thinking is definitely not something these people should be preaching, have they heard themselves lately? This is absolute insanity. However, Donald could learn a lesson from his current wife on how to deal with his opponents.

Melania Trump on Tuesday defended the rights of teenagers who booed her when she addressed them in Baltimore, a city her husband, President Donald Trump, has disparaged as “rat and rodent infested.”

She traveled there to urge hundreds of middle and high school students to avoid misusing drugs, saying that would make it harder for them to achieve their life's goals. But her remarks drew a mix of boos and cheers, and the audience remained noisy throughout her five-minute address.

It is highly unusual for a first lady to be booed at a public appearance. Mrs. Trump released a statement hours after she had returned to the White House, defending the principle of freedom of expression while reaffirming her commitment to the issue that drew her to Baltimore.

"We live in a democracy and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the fact is we have a serious crisis in our country and I remain committed to educating children on the dangers and deadly consequences of drug abuse," Mrs. Trump said.

The first lady has been using her prominence to spotlight programs she thinks can help young people, whether it's to teach them to be positive online or to avoid drug misuse and addiction.

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[font size="8"]Kid Rock
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Normally this is the kind of thing we’d reserve for a “Beating A Dead Horse” segment but since this horse has been beaten to death so much that vultures are pecking at what little flesh is still on the bones of its’ rotting carcass, we must move on, damn it!. Yeah that description did get a bit too graphic. But the “dead horse” in question is that conservative white guys – in 2019 – still feel threatened by Oprah. I mean yeah that’s a thing. But how do we deal with this sort of thing? There’s no one in the world who’s a bigger snowflake than a conservative white Trump supporter. And no one more on the MAGA Trump train than Kid Rock.

Kid Rock was removed from the stage last week at his bar in Nashville after going on a drunken, profanity-laced rant against Oprah Winfrey.

In a video from TMZ, he also called out Joy Behar and Kathy Lee Gifford.

"I'm not a bad guy. I'm just an honest guy that says, 'Hey, I don't like Oprah Winfrey or Joy Behar. They can suck d*** sideways,'" he said. "Sorry, mom.... F*** Oprah. F*** Kathie [Lee] Gifford.... I'm not the bad in the equation. I'm the f***in' guy you want, like, 'Hey, he's pretty cool.'"

"Oprah Winfrey is like 'Hey, I just want women to believe in this s***.'" Rock said. "F*** her. She can suck d*** sideways. And if you say that, people say, 'Hey, I'm pretty sure Kid Rock's a racist.' I'm, like, 'Okay, fine. F*** off,'" he's heard in the video saying.

Really this might be what you would call “rock bottom”. Guess you could say that he’s changing his name to Kid Rock Bottom? I’ll show myself out. But of course this is one of those things where if you try to talk yourself out of it, you’ll only make things worse. Really, the less said, the better. But what do what’s left of Kid Rock’s fan base still think of this rant? Won’t somebody please think of Kid Rock’s fans!!!!! 2002 called, they want their talking point and their crappy nu-metal back!

Kid Rock tried to explain himself after a video surfaced showing him crudely ranting about Oprah Winfrey and other celebrities, but not all his fans are forgiving him. The "Bawitdaba" and "All Summer Long" singer was recorded at his Nashville bar, Kid Rock's Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N' Roll Steakhouse, saying Winfrey and The View co-host Joy Behar "can suck d— sideways," among other insults such as one toward Kathie Lee Gifford. Kid Rock then attempted to explain himself on Facebook, to mixed reactions.

"My people tried to get me to do The Oprah Winfrey Show years ago and her people wanted me to write down 5 reasons why I loved her and her show... I said f— that and her. End of story. I am just saying what a lot of people think. Not saying I should be, but sometimes I just do. Oh well," he wrote. "I have a big mouth and drink too much sometimes, shocker! I also work hard and do a ton to help others out but that’s just back page news because the press hates [that] I love Trump, f— them too. I am what I am, I ain’t what I ain’t!

"PS And you haters and internet trolls can check my touring numbers and shut your ignorant asses up! Boom! PSS I did not get removed from MY OWN BAR (fake news) if anything I was leaving and the cops were helping me out…Hey, at least I don’t drink and drive!!"

He concluded by adding, "PSSS. Was it racist when I said "F— Joy Behar"??? and by the way... I love Kathy Lee Gifford (sic)."

When looking at the comments of the Facebook post, it's clear that many of the "Picture" and "Cowboy" singer fan's could not really care less about what he said. Many even agreed with him and praised him for "saying it like it is." Some also noted his charitable efforts.


Did he just go full Yosemite Sam on us? I ain’t what I ain’t???? What the hell kind of rootin’ tootin’… oh wait, this is Kid Rock we’re talking about here. I don’t think Kid Rock has a grasp of what constitutes popular culture since about 2003. And oh yeah he’s not currently part of the pop culture landscape except in the fantasy world of the MAGAs, which have incredibly poor taste in Z grade celebrities as we have come to know.

Rock's statement comes after a patron at his Nashville honky tonk captured video of him in a profanity-laced rant about Oprah Winfrey and others.

TMZ posted the video early Friday morning of Kid Rock swearing and slurring his words on stage, especially calling out Oprah, but also Joy Behar and Kathie Lee Gifford. This apparently occurred last week.

The "Cowboy" singer defended his tirade, saying, "I'm not the bad guy" and "I'm just an honest guy," while an onlooker can be heard calling him racist.

The video ends with him singing "Proud Mary," before security tends to him.

This time last year, Kid Rock was kicked out of the Nashville Christmas parade for calling Behar an expletive. However, he also paid off layaways for hundreds of families in Nashville.

That’s kind of how I would expect a conservative apology to go at this point. Yeah dude you were kicked out of being the grand marshall at the Nashville Christmas parade for this shit. When you’re in a hole, you know the first thing to do is stop digging! The more that you dig, the worse the hole gets, and really the only way to get out is to dig your way out. And this is someone who Trump admires, people!

"My people tried to get me to do The Oprah Winfrey show years ago and her people wanted me to write down 5 reasons why I loved her and her show. I said f--k that and her. End of story," Rock writes in a Facebook post. He adds that he was "just saying what a lot of people think."

"I have a big mouth and drink too much sometimes, shocker," Rock continues. "I also work hard and do a ton to help others out but that’s just back page news because the press hates I love Trump, f--k them too. I am what I am, I ain’t what I ain’t!"

Rock also feels that footage of security guards getting involved during his rant against Winfrey, which was first shared by TMZ, is being misinterpreted. "I did not get removed from MY OWN BAR (fake news)," the artist says. "If anything I was leaving and the cops were helping me out … Hey, at least I don’t drink and drive!"

During his rant, Rock also railed against The View host Joy Behar. In late 2019, Rock called Behar "a b---h" during a Fox News appearance, also suggesting that "people need to calm down [and] get a little less politically correct." He was subsequently removed as grand marshal of the 2018 Nashville Christmas Parade because of his comments.

Read More: Kid Rock on Oprah Rant: ‘I Have a Big Mouth and Drink Too Much' | https://theboot.com/kid-rock-oprah-rant-statement/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Working On Thanksgiving
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 investigates!

What’s it like to work on a national holiday when everyone else has the day off? As stores prepare for one of the biggest retail days of the year – that becomes a much greater challenge when the crowds being drawn to the sales get bigger and bigger every year. In fact the sales on Black Friday have started to spill over into the day before – Thanksgiving. And some aren’t having any of it, mainly the employers and what they have been putting their employees through. But this is where we come in. How were retail employees spending their day off? By working overtime with hardly any pay. This should not come as a shock to people who know giant retail chains like Wal-Mart and Kohl’s.

Some Walmart shoppers on social media are threatening to boycott the store after reading reports this week which say employees were offered discounts instead of overtime.

Walmart offered employees 10% and 15% discounts to use in the store instead of giving them holiday pay for working during the holiday, the Guardian reports.

The 15% discount is reportedly only available for employees to use over two days in December.

Walmart told Business Insider that the store policy of not offering holiday pay to employees is not new. The policy has been in place for multiple years.

“We simplified our paid-time-off policies in 2016 to combine vacation, holiday, sick and personal time into one bucket,” a Walmart spokesperson said. “As part of that change, we no longer offer holiday pay.”

No, you really don’t. While that seems like an almost certainly evil human resources move to make because it pleases the CFO, in reality, it makes workers miserable. And the Wal-Mart Corporation is not the only big box chain pushing this narrative. But they’re not the only chain questioning whether or not they should remain open during the one day every American has off. Or they should have it off anyways.

As retailers and malls battle for shoppers during the holiday season, they face a tricky decision: do they keep their doors open on Thanksgiving Day, or close to give their workers the holiday off?
Bolstered by low unemployment, rising wages and strong consumer confidence, retailers are preparing for a busy shopping weekend from Thanksgiving Day through Cyber Monday.
An estimated 165 million people are likely to shop over the five-day stretch, according to a survey by the lobbying group National Retail Federation and Prosper Insights & Analytics, a consulting firm.
And about a quarter of them say they will make their purchases on the holiday itself this week, up from both 2017 and 2018. "We expect the biggest increase in potential shoppers for Thanksgiving Day this year," said Phil Rist, executive vice president of strategy at Prosper Insights.

"Customers have shown that they want to shop on Thanksgiving evening," a spokesperson for Best Buy said. "We want to be there to serve those customers and need to be open for that to happen."
Shopping on the holiday has risen in recent years because so many stores are crammed with customers scrambling to take advantage of Black Friday doorbuster sales, experts say.

No actually, he has money. It’s the ones who don’t who are doomed for all eternity. So with this rather Scrooge-like move, Wal-Mart is basically telling its’ employees where they can stick it. And if you’re not getting paid why bother to work? Because you’ll get fired when you don’t show up. And that’s a win for the CEO. After all he’s the one who is sitting comfortably in his ivory tower. Advertising is making everything worse and we’re the ones stuck with it.

The holidays are around the corner, and retailers across the country are gearing up for the shopping mayhem.

To encourage workers during what is historically a high-pressure time for retail, companies use different motivational techniques and perks for their employees.

For Walmart, employees who work on Thanksgiving get a free dinner, a spokesperson for the company confirmed. Additionally, Walmart employees who work from November 27 to November 30 get 15% off a variety of products on top of their usual 10% employee discount. Black Friday falls on November 29 this year.

Walmart stores will operate regular hours on Thanksgiving and Black Friday, though the retailer is closed on Christmas.

The Walmart holiday dinner varies from store to store. The company's more than 4,500 store leaders execute the dinner in a way that makes it unique for each store and team, a Walmart spokesperson said.

That may be but nobody wants to be on the receiving end of an employee uprising. And we’re not sure how this has not happened just yet. But this is one time of the year that brings out the calls for a Black Friday Boycott. However, that’s not going to happen. There’s always going to be someone to need to have that $299 mixer or that $699 television. And for those people we must suffer until the end of time.

Every year, calls go out to boycott Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when some stores offer deep discounts. Struggling to compete with internet retailers, brick-and-mortar stores — according to Good Housekeeping Magazine, Kohl's, Macys and Best Buy, among others — have started opening on Thanksgiving Day, drawing still more ire, mostly from folks who weren't planning to shop that day anyway.

Many retail boycotters show little interest in getting input from the people who actually have to work those hours. Many of these, no doubt, would rather be with their families; others may need the time-and-a-half most employers pay on holidays.

We can all agree that some essential services — hospitals, police and fire departments, gas stations, utility companies — need to be open on holidays.

Clearly essential services don't, or shouldn't, include retail. Or football, even if you really like watching it.

But we never seem to examine the other industries that violate our sense of holiday propriety.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! I come before you today to ask you the question that has been plaguing us since we started this thing. Is the person who ascends to the highest office in the land the proverbial “chosen one” as depicted by my brothers and sisters on the right? Well, many on the right, now, are claiming that the president is chosen by GAWD! So does that mean that if the president is an asshole that GAWD is also an asshole? If they support the unholy, ungodly Dark One, then my prophecy stands true! So why don’t we ask his spiritual advisor, Ms. Paula White!

Paula White, a prosperity gospel preacher who has been a key spiritual adviser to President Donald Trump for years and who recently joined the White House staff, appeared on “The Exceptional Conservative Show” last week, where she said that she continues to stand by Trump despite his pathological lying, misogyny, and complete lack of morals because abandoning him would reflect poorly on her own character.

When White was asked why she supports Trump even though he brags about sexually assaulting women, she insisted that Trump’s comment about his behavior was an anomaly and that, as his pastor, she was obligated to stand by him.

“It wasn’t a habit. It wasn’t a lifestyle, but all of us have parts of our life that we wish the whole world didn’t know,” White said. “When Mr. Trump was watching Christian television, a relationship developed and I became his pastor. So now, when he gets into politics—I mean, think about what this would say about my character? Because it’s not comfortable, now I am going to abandon you because it’s not convenient for me? Because people think you’re something that you’re not and they try to get you in a soundbite and you are a New York brash businessman, what, I’m going to abandon this now? What would that say about who I am?”

Well now that may be good sir, but who is the DAYVIL in this case? Now we all know that the unholy, ungodly Dark One’s name must never be uttered in my church, for he is the ungodliest of all, and that’s the one rule that we have here in the house of the LAWRD JAYSUS! And we musn’t shun those who are indoctrinated in the beliefs of the Dark One, no! But that said, we will never claim that he is the chosen one!

Fox News' Fox & Friends show on Sunday showed a preview of an interview in which soon-to-depart Secretary of Energy Rick Perry said Donald Trump was God's "chosen one" to be president of the United States.

In the interview conducted as Trump faces an impeachment inquiry, Perry implied that Trump is imperfect and that is fine.

"God's used imperfect people all through history," Perry said, naming several Biblical figures. "King David wasn't perfect, Saul wasn't perfect, Solomon wasn't perfect."

Perry added that he gave Trump "a little one-pager on those Old Testament kings" about month ago.

"I shared it with him and said, 'Mr. President, I know there are people that say you said you were the chosen one and I said, 'You were,'" Perry remarked. "I said, 'If you're a believing Christian, you understand God's plan for the people who rule and judge over us on this planet in our government.'"

That was the end of the preview clip and Fox News chief national correspondent Ed Henry claimed that fewer people on the left attack Perry.

No! That is not what we are saying at all! I mean really Brother Perry, why would you go ahead and make such a claim? And shame on you Fox for peddling LIES!! So many lies!!! Those who do in fact support the unholy Dark One are more in tune with a doomsday cult. And it is a doomsday cult because they do believe that the world is ending, and it is ending soon!

The Reverend Franklin Graham has described opposition to President Donald Trump as being “demonic” in a recent interview with author and radio personality Eric Metaxas.

In an interview with Metaxas posted to YouTube last Thursday, Metaxas asked Graham his opinion on the current political climate, especially those opposed to President Trump.

“What do you think of what is happening now? I mean it is a very bizarre situation, to be living in a country where some people seem to exist to undermine the president of the United States,” asked Metaxas.

Graham described what Metaxas was talking about as “almost a demonic power,” which led the radio host to interject and say that he did not believe the term “almost” should be included.

“It is a spiritual battle,” agreed Graham, who then touted the Trump administration’s handling of the economy, saying that the nation has “an economy that is just screaming forward.”

Well we should be getting some money, but the only GAWD that you know Rev. Graham is the almighty dollar! So why are these people so obsessed with making the unholiest among us into the godliest among us? It’s like the woman who’s in an abusive relationship who refuses to give her boyfriend / husband the heave ho. You can’t change someone like that, and we know, for we have tried. Oh LAWRD we have tried!

Pastor Augusto Perez of The Appearance Ministries appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast last month, where he declared that anyone who opposes President Donald Trump must engage in fasting and prayer “because something is wrong in you.”

“This is not political, this is spiritual,” Perez said. “If you hate this man, if you hate this president, if there is something in you that you hates this man, I strongly counsel you to go on a fast-and-prayer and seek the Lord with all your heart because something is wrong in you. You have been deluded, you have been blindfolded, and the enemy is having his way with you.”

“If you still hate Trump, forget about the man himself—the personality—forget about that and focus on what he stands for and what he has done and what he is doing,” Perez added. “He is doing our Father’s agenda. He is tearing down the pedophile rings, human trafficking, drug smuggling. He is also coming against abortion, he wants to get rid of abortion, all of it. He has already defunded Planned Parenthood and they are fighting him tooth and nail. He has appointed many constitutional judges and two Supreme Court justices. He is bringing this nation back to righteousness, or he is trying to. He has given Christians a voice, he is protecting the Christians, he’s protecting the churches. He is stopping all these Muslim terrorists from coming in. He is doing the will of the Father in this country.”

Yeah that’s probably a poor choice of words there Reverend. But before you go this week, why are they so obsessed with sexual perversion? That is what we need to discuss! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Cancel Culture
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Here’s the question on the table – if Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube were around during World War II, do you think we would be living in a world controlled by the Nazis? Hate and nationalism, the kind that Hitler peddled back in the day, are as popular as they’ve ever been, and they are toppling whole governments, flipping others to the ultra far right, and leaving things as skewed and divided as they’ve ever been. But that said, that hypothetical situation is more relevant today than it’s ever been. Leave it to the one actor in Hollywood who’s not afraid to call out bullshit, and that’s Sascha Baron Cohen (“Borat”, “Talladega Nights”), for shedding some light on the subject. But is he right or wrong? Well this interview is a tough pill to swallow, but he said exactly what needed to be said.

The "Borat" actor Sacha Baron Cohen launched a full-throated attack against tech companies and accused them of allowing hate speech to proliferate on their platforms in a 25-minute speech to the Anti-Defamation League on Thursday night.

Cohen said a "handful of internet companies" were facilitating "the greatest propaganda machine in history."

Though Cohen mentioned Google, Twitter, and Facebook in his speech, his sharpest criticism was reserved for Mark Zuckerberg.

Cohen referred to a speech Zuckerberg gave at Georgetown University last month outlining where he thinks Facebook should draw the line on regulating free speech on its platform. Cohen dismantled Zuckerberg's speech point by point.

"First, Zuckerberg tried to portray this whole issue as 'choices around free expression.' That is ludicrous," Cohen said. "This is not about limiting anyone's free speech. This is about giving people, including some of the most reprehensible people on earth, the biggest platform in history to reach a third of the planet. Freedom of speech is not freedom of reach."

The comedian added that while the First Amendment prevents the government from limiting free expression, private companies have control over what they allow.

No that’s not the question that we’re asking here. See the thing is whenever a conservative says something racist or sexist, and they go to “Twitter Jail” for saying something racist or sexist, then they are quick to call shadow banning, and they’ve held almost as many Congressional hearings on the subject as they did on Benghazi. But Mr. Cohen is definitely not wrong here.

Sacha Baron Cohen used an analogy involving a restaurant owner and neo-Nazis to tear into Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s claim that the social media platform champions freedom of expression.

The British actor and comedian posted a scathing thread on Twitter in which he dubbed Zuckerberg’s speech at Georgetown University on Thursday “disingenuous” and reminded the billionaire that “he is not the government, but the owner of a private business and not subject to the 1st Amendment!”

“If he owned a fancy restaurant and 4 neo-Nazis came goose-stepping into the dining room and were talking loudly about wanting to kill ‘Jewish scum,’ would he serve them an elegant eight-course meal? Or would tell them to get the f**k out of his restaurant? It’s the same thing,” added the “Borat” star.

“He has every legal right, indeed a moral duty, to tell them to get the f**k out of his restaurant,” concluded Cohen, who last year pranked numerous political figures with his satirical Showtime series “Who Is America?” and most recently portrayed real-life Mossad agent Eli Cohen in Netflix’s thriller “The Spy.”

Zuckerberg’s address also drew criticism from Bernice King, the daughter of the late civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr. Zuckerberg in his speech alluded to the role of freedom of expression in the civil rights movement.

Now that is a good point – do you serve a group of Neo Nazis or do you tell them to get the fuck out and never come back? It’s a simple matter of common courtesy. But yeah, we’re on the side of fuck Nazis, and always have been, and always will be. But is social media the greatest propaganda machine in the history of the world? Yeah probably. I mean it’s either that or Josef Stalin’s propaganda network, and he’s the guy who invented it!

Sacha Baron Cohen has had it with social media.

Speaking at the Anti Defamation League's International Leadership summit, where he was accepting an award, the actor and comedian criticized social media — especially Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube — as "the greatest propaganda machine in history."

Baron Cohen blamed the tech companies for stoking the fires of bigotry and enabling the spread of dangerous conspiracies, often fueled by algorithms designed to keep consumers hooked.

As just one example, the actor cited Facebook's recently unveiled news section, which includes the far-right website Breitbart as one of its sources.

As another, he pointed the finger at social media companies for the way they provided far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and his fringe media outlet InfoWars with platforms and millions of views until banning him amid a wave of criticism last year.

Well this is a comedy show, sir! Of course we’re joking! But the most interesting part of all of this was that this was said in front of a speech at the Anti-Defamation League, a group whose mission it is to fight anti-semitism. And we have people like that in the White House and working all around the world right now, and it’s scary to think what is happening. People are developing a preference to live under dictators, and that will not end well in any situation. So was Mr. Cohen right or wrong? We will see!

Sacha Baron Cohen accepted the International Leadership Award at the Anti-Defamation League’s Never is Now summit on anti-Semitism and hate Thursday. And the comedian and actor used his keynote speech to single out the one Jewish-American who he believes is doing the most to facilitate “hate and violence” in America: Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

He began with a joke at the Trump administration’s expense. “Thank you, ADL, for this recognition and your work in fighting racism, hate and bigotry,” Baron Cohen said, according to his prepared remarks. “And to be clear, when I say ‘racism, hate and bigotry’ I’m not referring to the names of Stephen Miller’s Labradoodles.”

Baron Cohen went on to acknowledge the incongruity of the man who popularized the phrase “throw the Jew down the well”—as the anti-Semitic Kazakh character Borat—accepting an award from the ADL. “At times, some critics have said my comedy risks reinforcing old stereotypes,” he admitted, defending himself by explaining, “as a comedian, I’ve tried to use my characters to get people to let down their guard and reveal what they actually believe, including their own prejudice.”

But as he laid out with examples from Da Ali G Show and his more recent Showtime series Who Is America?, his humor only works when the majority of viewers “share the same facts.” For instance, he said, “When Borat got that bar in Arizona to agree that ‘Jews control everybody’s money and never give it back,’ the joke worked because the audience shared the fact that the depiction of Jews as miserly is a conspiracy theory originating in the Middle Ages.” Social media has changed all of that.

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[font size="8"]No!: Papa John’s Greasy Interview
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Who doesn’t love a good pizza? It’s crunchy, it’s cheesy, it’s saucy. It has all the properties of what one might call the perfect food. But with one of the best foods known to man, there’s also a lot of crap. And that’s where our old friend John Schnatter, aka Papa John comes in. Yes, we’ve talked at length about Papa John’s foray into white supremacy (see: Top 10 #5-5 and Top 10 #3-21 ) but he never seems to shut up or go away. So what’s he got into this week? Well, Papa John admits that he might have overdosed on his own product. But as eating as much pizza as he did won’t kill you, it will just give you a case of the cheese fat and meat sweats. And we’re not going to play one of our usual hilarious memes or clips, we’re just going to sit back and let the interview do the talking.

Papa John’s founder and ousted chairman thinks the pizza chain has changed its recipe.

“I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it’s not the same pizza, it’s not the same product,” John Schnatter said in an interview with Fox affiliate WDRB in Louisville, Kentucky.

After Schnatter built the company on “better ingredients, better pizza,” Papa John’s ousted him as chairman in July 2018, leading him to file several lawsuits against the company. He dismissed his claims as part of a settlement with Papa John’s and has been selling off his stake in the chain.

Schnatter’s resignation had followed his use of a racially charged word on a conference call in May 2018.

In the interview, Schnatter said former CEO Steve Ritchie, who resigned from Papa John’s in August, and the board of directors used the incident to “steal the company.”

Well yeah, you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days it's definitely not going to start tasting that good. That shit's going to start coming out of your pores! I don't think I've seen a case of the meat sweats that badly since I attempted the 2 for 1 Tuesdays challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. And that’s why you don’t order the Blazin sauce, damn it! Well, Papa John didn’t have any Blazin’ sauce but he is definitely, well, maybe blazin’. We don’t know, we’re just guessing!

"I never dreamed that people that I cared about, that I loved, that I made multimillionaires, would do what they did," Schnatter said.

In an exclusive interview with WDRB News, Schnatter said the May 2018 conference call that started it all was made up.

"They fabricated it," he said. "Shame on them."

Schnatter admitted he used the "N word" during an internal conference call on diversity training. But he said he did it to convey his hatred of racism and was quoting another famous founder.

"This is all a farce," he said. "Nothing sells like the truth, and the truth, sooner or later, all comes out."

He said insiders used that as an opportunity to push him out.

Here’s the thing, Papa John, you can’t be racist to condemn your hatred of racists. You see time and time again we’ve gone over how you just can’t say “I’m not racist, but…” to prove you’re not a racist, because it doesn’t prove that you’re a racist! It’s kind of like when a prominent black celebrity dies and Fox News posts a picture of somebody else who’s not them. But really you can’t say racist shit and then make a stupid claim like that.

Schnatter resigned as Papa John's chairman in 2018 after admitting to using the N-word during a company conference call earlier that year. The Papa John's founder had stepped down as CEO in December 2017 following backlash for his criticism of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem before games to protest police brutality.

In the WDRB News interview, Schnatter described his ousting as a "farce." He slammed Papa John's new leaders, including Steve Ritchie, who replaced him as CEO, and the board members Olivia Kirtley and Mark Shapiro, both of whom Schnatter said "should be in jail."

"They stole the company, and now they've destroyed the company," Schnatter said.

Schnatter told WDRB News that he believes the truth about his ousting has yet to emerge.

"The day of reckoning will come," Schnatter said.

Papa John's did not immediately respond to Business Insider's request for comment.

The interview went viral after the writer Timothy Burke tweeted a clip in which Schnatter's voice appears to have been slowed down.

Well of course anything is funnier when it’s in slow motion! Especially when the subject at hand has his heart literally clogged with grease and a bad case of the meat sweats! And also “the day of reckoning will come”? WTF? Is he in Game O f Thrones or something? But the real take away from this interview is come on, 40 pizzas in 30 days. I mean just… damn. Really, is it getting old to your taste buds at that point or is the fat going straight to your head? And by the way if you’re trying to get back in with the company you founded that you got fired from, maybe slamming them isn’t the best way to go about doing things.

Papa John’s founder John Schnatter is speaking out over a year after he resigned in July 2018 following backlash over his use of the N-word on a conference call.

In a recent interview with WDRB, Schnatter, 58, claimed that his ouster was “a set-up” and a “farce,” and slammed both the company and the taste of its pizza.

“I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it’s not the same pizza,” he said. “It’s not the same product. It just doesn’t taste as good. The way they’re making the pizza is just not fundamental to what makes a Papa John’s pizza.”

Schnatter added: “I feel so negative and pessimistic about the company that I’ve sold a lot of stock.”

As for the call that sparked his resignation, Schantter said in the interview that he “didn’t say anything that was racist.” (Schnatter was reportedly quoting KFC founder Colonel Sanders on the call, but he has not previously denied that he used the N-word.)

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. It’s been a while since we have done one of these, and they just seem to rack up don’t they? And I want to do something a bit different this week, I want to start with some history. Well they say that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but stupid people existed during World War II. In fact one of the best victories from the allies happened not because they managed to defeat a technologically advanced German sub, but that the sub defeated itself. How you might ask? I answer you – it was poop. Yup, a toilet flushing under heavy underwater pressure managed to sink itself.

One of the most spectacular, albeit minor, Allied victories of World War II had absolutely no Allied involvement whatsoever.

It came in the form of the Nazi submarine U-1206. The Type VIIC boat was a technological marvel armed with two anti-aircraft guns, five torpedo tubes, and most impressively, a complex toilet that could flush waste into the ocean from deep below the surface.

So complex was the sub’s plumbing apparatus that each crewman of the U-1206 needed to be specially potty trained on its operational capabilities prior to its April 1945 launch from Kristiansand, Norway — a matter of weeks before the war in Europe ended.

The boat was just eight days into its maiden patrol when its captain, 27-year-old Karl-Adolf Schlitt, heard nature’s call to expel the sort of bodily ordnance that rhymed with his name.

The captain’s constitutional relief, however, soon turned to psychological stress when the complicated flushing mechanism proved too difficult for the young officer to operate.

Schiltt summoned an engineer for help, but when the crewman confidently turned an incorrect valve, a mixture of sewage and seawater burst through the compartment and spread to other parts of the submarine.

Well to be fair, it *WAS* their first day. Next up – we go to the great state of Wisconsin. And for this one, you can make all the “happy to see me” jokes you want, but I don’t think any ER doctors out there would want to admit that they’ve found this up the place where the sun don’t shine.

A would-be shoplifter used a rather strange tactic in an attempt make off with some merchandise, said the shop owner.

They said surveillance video at their store, Voigt Music Center in downtown Janesville, caught the cheeky thief in the act. In the video, you can see the man has a massive flute sticking up out of his pants.

“That was shocking, that part. I couldn’t help but laugh about it,” said Tony Farrell, owner of the music shop.

Farrell says the man milled around the store for a bit before zeroing in on the flute.

“He took it right off the wall and walked right over here with it in his hand,” said Farrell. “He went right behind where a camera is and put it down the back of his pants. It was just so ridiculous. I just would not expect someone to be so stupid that they would hide something right in front of a security camera."

OK Mark Cuban is giving you the facepalm! Speaking of being worthy of a Mark Cuban facepalm, here’s the thing people. You should never, ever use your phone while driving. Doesn’t matter if you’re finding a good song to play or tweeting or just about anything else for that matter. But one thing you should never do? Watch TV while you drive. That’s right. This happened.

A man was arrested by a sheriff's deputy on Monday morning after he was stopped for allegedly watching a TV show while driving, according to a court filing.

Griffen Vogelgesang-Maurer, 18, of Iowa City, was arrested and charged with first-offense operating while under the influence and first-offense possession of marijuana. Both charges are classified as serious misdemeanors.

At around 7:11 a.m. on Monday, November 18, a Johnson County Sheriff's Office deputy said he spotted Vogelgesang-Maurer watching South Park on his smartphone while driving, leading to him pulling his 2003 Oldsmobile Alero near the intersection of E Jefferson Street and N Dodge Street.

The deputy stated in a criminal complaint that the vehicle Vogelgesang-Maurer was driving smelled strongly of marijuana. He allegedly admitted to recently smoking and handed over the drug along with a pipe and a grinder. He showed signs of impairment during field sobriety tests and submitted to a breath test which registered a .00 BAC, leading to the deputy to believe that he was under the influence of marijuana.

Next up – we of course can’t do a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning America’s most penis-shaped state. The state of Florida, the Sunshine State. Which of course is home to some of the craziest people on the planet. Really, what are they putting in the water in Florida? Well they’re definitely putting something in the drinking supply – and the drinking supply!

A Florida Man whose Ford truck carries a “Don’t Drink & Drive” bumper sticker was arrested Friday night for drunk driving after he “rear ended a stopped vehicle in front of him,” cops report.

Sergio Ferreira, 56, was driving “about 35-40 mph” when he slammed into a car at an intersection near his home in Largo. The impact caused the second vehicle to go forward and strike another car.

The occupants of the other autos did not require hospital treatment.

When contacted by police, Ferreira “staggered as he walked, swayed as he stood” and smelled of alcohol. Seen above, Ferreira, who refused to provide a breath sample, was arrested after performing poorly on a series of field sobriety tests.

Finally this week for People Are Dumb – once again sticking with the Sunshine State and also stupid people doing dumb things, never, ever under any circumstances impersonate a cop. It will just plain not end well for you. And this happened.

A man from Plant City, Florida, wanted to be a police officer so much that he had a siren box, light set-up and even a band radio installed in his black Crown Victoria vehicle.

But Barry Lee Hastings Jr had one thing missing - a badge stating that he was the real thing.

As an example of how into his character he was, the 35-year-old pulled in behind a vehicle heading east on Interstate 4 and even flashed at him to pull over, Fox 13 reported.

It turned out he had picked the wrong car because its driver happened to be an off-duty Lee County deputy.

After Hastings had told him that he needed to "slow down", the real officer was suspicious and asked him for his credentials.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 16: Buttigieg A Racist?
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! Now we are almost at the end of this first season of a very long election year. Now my original intent with this guide was that we were going to discuss all 24 of the candidates who are running to become the 46th president of the United States and unseat @realDonaldTrump. But since the numbers are being reduced drastically, we have instead decided to make it about the issues that matter most. And the issues that matter this week you might ask? Is Pete Buttigieg a racist? Well as the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, he has certainly seen a lot of very troubling scenarios rise. So you might be asking how did this start? Well I answer you it started with a photograph. No, don’t cue Nickelback.

Pete Buttigieg's presidential campaign responded Monday to criticism over its use of a stock image of a Kenyan woman on a campaign webpage promoting the South Bend, Indiana, mayor's plan to address racial inequality.

Buttigieg spokesman Sean Savett said in a tweet that the photograph was taken down "months ago as part of a regular update."

"We apologize for its use and for the confusion it created," Savett said, noting that the use of stock photos is "standard practice across many campaigns." He said that the image was selected by a contractor and that the website it was taken from did not make clear that the photo was taken in Kenya.

In July, Buttigieg unveiled "The Douglass Plan" – named in honor of abolitionist hero Frederick Douglass – which his website describes as "a comprehensive and intentional dismantling of racist structures and systems." To achieve that goal, it promises changes to the criminal justice and health care systems, as well as an expansion of investment and credit in black communities.

The Intercept reported Friday that three politicians, who were included in a list that was promoted by the campaign of more than 400 South Carolinians who support the plan, said they had been mischaracterized as endorsing Buttigieg. Johnnie Cordero, chair of the state party’s Black Caucus, said he never backed the plan, which he called "entirely presumptuous."

God damn it. But doing some deep diving on this subject it appears to be more than just a photograph but that’s where we are at in 2019. It turns out there’s some very troubling things that are a foot in Pete’s district. But then again what’s happening with police isn’t just happening with them in the city of South Bend, Indiana, it’s happening all over the country!

Pete Buttigieg wasn’t much of a pot smoker in college. But coming home from a party one evening, he bumped into a friend of a friend smoking a joint. Buttigieg later recalled that he acted out of curiosity. “Oh, is that — ?” the young Buttigieg said. “And she handed it to me.”

At precisely that moment, a police car pulled up. He quickly tossed the joint over his shoulder. Luckily for Buttigieg, it was a campus cop. Unluckily, he quickly found the roach on the sidewalk, berated Buttigieg, had him place his hands on the trunk, and searched him. Finding nothing more, he sped off, leaving Buttigieg with a story he still tells today of the first time he realized what it means to be privileged. “If I were not white, the odds of that having been something that would have derailed my life are exponentially higher,” he said at an event this spring. “It’s one of many reasons why I think we have to end the war on drugs and move towards the legalization of marijuana.”

It’s a theme Buttigieg returns to often. In July, at an event in Iowa, he shot down a racist question from an audience member by responding, “The fact that a black person is four times as likely as a white person to be incarcerated for the exact same crime is evidence of systemic racism.” When pressed by fact-checkers on his claim, he said that he was referring to the racial disparity in marijuana arrests nationwide, citing an American Civil Liberties Union study that found black people were 3.7 times more likely to be arrested for pot than whites.

Yeah you might as well have Chief Wiggum and his crew in charge of things! But here’s the thing in a time when everyone is divided, it seems that Mayor Pete is beginning to shoot himself in the foot on the subject of race. And that’s one thing that you don’t want to fall off the fucking cliff on when the other side embraces white supremacy and white nationalism! So why don’t voters trust Mayor Pete on the issues that matter?

When South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg first entered the race, to be honest, I was mesmerized. He struck me as young, but brilliant. He spoke with compassion for the least of these and, led by his faith, he invoked the kind of Christianity long missing from the national discourse—one that is inclusive, wrapped in love and equality, and that believes the test of us brings out the best in us.

That he is gay and married was of no consequence to me, although I knew it would be for some. I wanted to believe that he would be the sort of candidate who challenged us to higher ground, but met us at our point of need. He has spent nearly every day since proving me wrong.

I had continued to give him the benefit of the doubt until learning of his past attempt to build a coalition with Tea Party activists—a movement fueled by white supremacy, bigotry and xenophobia in the midst of the Obama administration—as he campaigned for statewide office in Indiana, rather than creating alliances with people of color. As the Tea Party pledged to “take America back,” setting the stage for Trump’s MAGA campaign, Buttigieg found them worthy partners.

Wednesday night, he will have to answer for that when the Democratic field of candidates convene in my city, Atlanta, to debate the issues of the day. They will assemble at Tyler Perry Studios, which is fitting when you consider that sprawling facility was built by a black man on land once commanded by Confederate forces. If there is a capital of black America, it is Atlanta.

Yeah no Pete, you do not want to build a bridge to the Tea Party, they will burn it down and throw you under the bus which will then drive off a cliff. Because that’s the kind of assholes that they are. Instead you should be trying to build a bridge with the African American community. Which as we’ve proven, is something not to be screwed with, as there’s no such thing as a sure thing. I mean shit even Kanye is sporting a MAGA hat these days and we don’t want anyone to go to the Dark Side do we? Enjoy that surge in the polls while it lasts because you don’t know where it’s going to lead.

At a private fundraiser in California on Friday, Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg suggested that black voters in South Carolina preferred former Vice President Joe Biden because of a perception of “familiarity,” even though Biden isn’t “the candidate with the best answers on the subject of race.”

Asked by a guest in attendance at a meet-and-greet event at Thunderbird Heights in Rancho Mirage how he anticipated “engaging the black community to get greater support,” Buttigieg said, “So what’s working for us best right now in engaging the black community is two things: First, substance. And secondly, engagement.” The private event followed a reception at the Andreas Hills Private Resort in Palm Springs, hosted by Rich Weissman, a former Bank of America executive.

On Biden, who has been leading the polls in South Carolina, Buttigieg said, “There’s one candidate who’s got a far and away lead in South Carolina. I actually don’t think it’s because it’s the candidate with the best answers on the subject of race. I think it’s because it’s the candidate who’s got the most familiarity.”

Over the last week, Buttigieg has surged in the polls in some early primary states. A poll last week from CNN and the Des Moines Register showed him with 25 percent among potential Democratic caucus attendees in Iowa, a 16-point jump from the same poll in September. He’s also seen a major increase in New Hampshire, where one poll released Wednesday has him pulling ahead of Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Biden. While Biden is the overall frontrunner, with Sens. Bernie Sanders and Warren jockeying for second and third in recent national polls, the former vice president has recently lost ground in South Carolina and other early primary states, including Iowa and New Hampshire, in addition to Florida. According to a Quinnipiac poll released Monday, Buttigieg is polling at less than 1 percent among black voters in South Carolina, while Biden had 44 percent.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Well next week we were going to discuss Joe Biden’s bizarre “No Malarky” slogan but instead we must bid adieu to the Kamala Harris campaign. Which sadly, is no more.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Pixies[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest their latest album is called “Beneath The Eyrie”. You can see them on tour… oh they’re playing next week at the Troubadour! Playing their song “This Is My Fate”, give it up for the Pixies!

Thank you Stanford! This was fun! We’re back home at USC next week! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Stanford University, Palo Alto, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 4, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Well yeah, you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days it's definitely not going to start tasting that good. That shit's going to start coming out of your pores! I don't think I've seen a case of the meat sweats that badly since I attempted the 2 for 1 Tuesdays challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. Needless to say I don't see that happening ever again!

**audience laughs and applauds**

This week's Top 10 is live from Stanford University! Trump sets up a fake university sting operation, Melania gets booed promoting anti-bullying, Trump goes to Afghanistan for a photo op, we check in with our friends across the pond, Papa John gives a greasy interview, and Sascha Cohen claims that Facebook has gone full Nazi. Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, as stores are opening earlier and earlier for the retail's "Black Friday", we find out what it's like to actually work on Thanksgiving. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is the president the chosen one? Our resident pastor has some thoughts on Rick Perry's insane interview. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", is Pete Buttigieg a racist? After some claims are made in an insane op ed, we get to the bottom of it to find out what's up! Plus we have some live music from the legendary Pixies!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sun Dec 1, 2019, 05:53 PM (0 replies)
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