Top 10 Idiots

Top 10 Idiots's Journal

March 27, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-12: Screw U, Next Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-12: Screw U, Next Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. Act now and get 4 free phones on our best ever unlimited 4G LTE plan! What’s up Tampa, you guys doing good? Yeah after what happened on Sunday I’m kind of in a fuck everything mood. Hey, same as I was the day after the election! But I don’t want to talk about that. Instead I want to talk about streaming services. Do we really need another one? And more importantly do we need a teaser for another one I’m not going to watch? We already live in a time in which there’s too much television. It’s impossible to keep up. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, Apple announced that *THEY* are launching yet another streaming service with original content. That's in addition to the 800,000,000 streaming services with original content that are in the works. I mean pretty soon they'll just be making shows for an audience of one. Hey Joe, we made this show just for you! If you don't like it, we wasted millions on the production! And if that wasn’t enough, Apple can now be your bank! I mean shit, also do we really need another credit card? There’s too much of that too. Then there’s Apple’s programming. Sure, some of it sounds interesting but then there’s really not a whole lot that is being shown. Just it’s getting to be too damn much. Yeah I know I sound like someone who is technologically impaired, but you know what? Fuck it. Apple getting into the TV game is like a restaurant calling itself "Fat Sal's" getting into the health food game. You don't go to Fat Sal's for a kale and chicken salad, no. You go to Fat Sal's for the giant pastrami and roast beef sandwiches topped with french fries and mozzarella sticks! You go to Apple not for original content or credit cards, but the devices to watch the original content on! Although Apple if you’re interested in getting into the news comedy game, may I recommend the Top 10 Conservative Idiots? We’re relatively cheap to produce since we have a budget of 0, and I’m available whenever you want! We also show up on Google Images so we have an audience! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Bill Maher is back and he discusses the topic of unnecessary upgrading:

God where do we begin for this week? Well in the first slot of course is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1). So it’s the end of the Mueller report as we know it and I feel fine, just like the song suggests! In the third slot this week, is Devin Nunes, and I couldn’t love this story more, he is suing Twitter for an ungodly amount of money over an account called “Devin Nunes’ Cow” which now has more followers than he does! Taking the fourth slot this week, we got to ask what’s up with Brexit (4) because the deadline is fast approaching, and neither party can come to a conclusion as to what they can do with the UK leaving the EU. Is it too late to start over? In the fifth slot this week, we’re going to do a new feature called “This Week In Hate Radio” (5), because since the Mueller Report and the Christchurch shooting, they’ve been pouring the crazy extra strong lately. In the sixth slot this week is Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to take a look at free speech on college campuses in regards to Trump’s executive order – is it really a thing or is it a non issue? We’re leaning toward the latter. At number 7 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and should we really be praying for brutal dictators? Our resident pastor will examine this issue after Brazil’s Bolsonaro visits the Dark One. In the 8th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” and conservative commentators are really escalating their violent rhetoric in regards to a second Civil War. Will it happen? Probably not. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new People Are Dumb, and since we’re in Florida, we’re going to do an all Florida Man edition in response to last week’s Florida Man challenge! And finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3! We’re live in Utah for the 3rd round action as Florida takes on Montana to play Idaho in the Gun Nut championship, while Michigan goes for broke against hot newcomer Alaska to play Wisconsin in the Fiscal Irresponsibility championship! Plus we have some live music from the Dirty Heads! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br] B

Yeah… so the Mueller report is over. But come on people, did you really expect impeachment? And did you really expect Jared, Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr to be indicted? Oh wait, they’re all under separate investigations. Well, there’s plenty of reasons that Trump will go down or continue to shoot himself in the foot. So now what are the long lasting effects of the Mueller report? Sure, Trump says one thing and his supporters repeat it until they’re blue in the face, but did they actually read the report? I’m guessing no, because if they even read so much past the words “no collusion”, they would have seen this.

Special counsel Robert Mueller did not find evidence that President Trump's campaign conspired with Russia to influence the 2016 election, according to a summary of findings submitted to Congress by Attorney General William Barr.

"The Special Counsel's investigation did not find that the Trump campaign or anyone associated with it conspired or coordinated with Russia in its efforts to influence the 2016 U.S. presidential election," Barr wrote in a letter to leaders of the House and Senate judiciary committees on Sunday afternoon.

That was despite "multiple offers from Russian-affiliated individuals to assist the Trump campaign," he wrote.

However, Mueller's investigation did not take a position on whether Trump obstructed justice by trying to frustrate the ongoing investigation.
https://www.npr.org/2019/03/24/706318191/trump-white-house-havent-seen-or-been-briefed-on-mueller-investigation-report

And there is still that possibility. In fact I’m willing to bet that Trump didn’t read past the words “no collusion”. You know kind of like when you’re reading through a textbook and all you see is the keyword answer and you don’t read the whole sentence. Of course you get it wrong on the test! And you know what? We may never know what’s on the report because despite that Congress voted 455 – 0 to release the full report!

The world got its first glimpse on Sunday into the investigation that has cast a cloud over Donald Trump's presidency.

After two days reading through Special Counsel Robert Mueller's confidential report, Attorney General William Barr sent a letter to Congress offering a summary of the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and possible links to Trump's campaign.

In Barr's letter, he said that no proof was found that the Trump campaign conspired with Russia but said no decision was made over whether the president obstructed justice. Barr said that Mueller's office left that charging decision to him and the Justice Department.

"The Special Counsel states that 'while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him,'" the letter states, quoting from the special counsel investigation.

Barr added that after review, he and Deputy Attorney General Rob Rosenstein "have concluded that the evidence developed during the Special Counsel's investigation is not sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction-of-justice offense."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2019/03/23/robert-mueller-report-heres-what-we-know-and-dont-know/3251011002/

Well, we still hope that Trump will join George Bluth in prison. Hey, they can share a cell, just remember that there’s no touching! So this may excuse Trump of the crime of colluding with a hostile foreign power but it doesn’t really excuse him for the hundreds of other crimes that he’s under investigation for, so he may be celebrating a bit prematurely. Because of course he does. But that doesn’t mean that he’s entirely off the hook yet.

Back in February 2018, special counsel Robert Mueller's team of prosecutors brought charges against 13 Russian individuals and three Russian businesses for their alleged role in what one of the accused had allegedly described as "information warfare" -- a sophisticated influence operation targeting the 2016 presidential election. But it wasn't until almost a year later that Mueller's team revealed that those weren't the only suspected trolls the U.S. government had in its sights.

In a court filing arguing against sharing "sensitive" information with some of the defendants, Mueller’s team said in January that some of the information it had “identifies uncharged individuals and entities that the government believes are continuing to engage in operations that interfere with lawful U.S. government functions like those activities charged in the indictment.”

Two months later, no other suspects have been charged, and a senior Justice Department official told ABC News Friday that Mueller was not recommending any more indictments -- presumably including for the suspected Russians. So now that Mueller's investigation has concluded, what fate awaits them?

Experts told ABC News Saturday that just because Mueller is done, it doesn’t mean the Russians are in the clear legally, depending on how the U.S. government wants to proceed.

“Charges involving other trolls could be brought by other [Department of Justice] offices, whether a U.S. attorney’s office or main Justice,” Randall Eliason, a former federal prosecutor and lecturer at George Washington University, said.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/robert-mueller-report-finished-alleged-russian-trolls/story?id=61892357

Yeah probably. But as we’ve seen time and time again there’s nothing we can do to solve America’s current deep divide. As the GOP’s current favorite punching bag, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez points out, impeaching Trump is not going to be the solution to everything. There’s still plenty of problems that we have to sort out before we can get America back on track.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) called President Donald Trump “horrific,” but said on Sunday that he was just a symptom of “much deeper problems” facing the nation.

“He can stay, he can go. He can be impeached, or voted out in 2020,” she wrote on Twitter, then added:

“But removing Trump will not remove the infrastructure of an entire party that embraced him; the dark money that funded him; the online radicalization that drummed his army; nor the racism he amplified + reanimated.”

Ocasio-Cortez said those deeper problems included income inequality, racism, corruption and a willingness to excuse bigotry. And those, she wrote, can’t be fixed with an election:

In order for us to heal as a nation, we ALL must pursue the hard work of addressing these root causes.

It’s not as easy as voting. It means having uncomfortable moments convos w/ loved ones, w/ media, w/ those we disagree, and yes - within our own party, too.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-trump-symptom_n_5c98612fe4b057f7330c97e8

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know it’s a fucked up week when Trump tells a deceased war veteran and career senator like John McCain to go fuck himself, and it’s not the craziest thing that happened. In fact think of it like Ariana Grande’s smash hit song “Thank U, Next”, only this is Trump telling his opponents “Screw U, Next”. Now he’s going after everyone because he watches way too much Fox News and they’re actively telling him that Obamacare is a bad thing. So to retaliate, Trump is turning up the crazy extra hard this week. How low is he going?

Senator John McCain of Arizona passed away at the age of 81 last August, and days later, he was honored during a funeral at the Washington National Cathedral. And now, President Donald Trump — who previously mocked McCain for, of all things, being a former prisoner of war — has made it clear that he would like to be thanked for the late senator’s funeral service.

Trump made his surprising-but-then-again-when-you-think-of-it-not-surprising remark about McCain during a Wednesday event at a manufacturing facility in Ohio. Surrounded by tanks and American flags, Trump told the crowd about McCain: “I have to be honest, I’ve never liked him much. Hasn’t been for me.” He then brought up the Steele dossier (you know the one he’s referring to), stating that the late senator received it and “he didn’t call me. He turned it over to the FBI to put me in jeopardy.”

By far the most bizarre part of his rant came later, when Trump expressed clear bitterness about the fact that no one had thanked him for McCain’s funeral, which he wasn’t even invited to.

“I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president I had to approve,” he said. “I don’t care about this, I didn’t get, ‘Thank you,’ but that’s okay. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”
https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/donald-trump-john-mccain-funeral-thank-you-ohio.html

Of course not, dipshit! It’s a funeral! Nobody thanks anybody for a funeral, especially the person in the casket! And Trump’s the kind of asshole who would slap a terms of service agreement on a funeral. You know that. “OK… the deceased can be buried if thanks are given at the following time of day of the week ending on the 26th… “. But even the National Cathedral is coming out against what Trump is saying about the funeral. That’s how fucked up this is – the place that held it has to give PR now!

The Washington National Cathedral disputed President Trump's claim that he had to "approve" the funeral of the late Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.).

"Washington National Cathedral was honored to host the funeral service for Senator John McCain. All funerals and memorial services at the Cathedral are organized by the family of the deceased; only a state funeral for a former president involves consultation with government officials," a cathedral spokesperson said in a statement to The Hill on Thursday.

"No funeral at the Cathedral requires the approval of the president or any other government official," he added.

President Trump said on Wednesday in Ohio that he gave McCain "the kind of funeral that he wanted."

“I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as president, I had to approve,” he told a crowd at an Ohio event. “I don’t care about this, I didn’t get 'thank you.' That’s OK. We sent him on the way, but I wasn’t a fan of John McCain.”
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/435152-national-cathedral-says-trump-didnt-need-to-give-approval-for

And then it shifted from attacks on McCain to attacks on the husband of his top advisor Kellyanne Conway, and really, did he have to go there? Oh who am I kidding? Of course he did! He’s the husband from hell everyone, and he’s also the president! Hey o!!! Thank you I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress!

Kellyanne Conway’s spouse is a “husband from hell!” President Donald Trump declared Wednesday, escalating his awkward public fight with the husband of one of his closest advisers. A “whack job,” he added later.

Trump’s feud with George Conway played out with ever more heated rhetoric on social media. Conway, an attorney who has questioned Trump’s mental health, fired back after Trump’s latest tweet, saying the president seems “determined to prove my point.”

The caustic exchanges also drew a response from Kellyanne Conway, the longtime Republican pollster who served as Trump’s third campaign manager before joining the administration as a counselor to the president.

Conway, who is considered one of Trump’s top advisers and is a high-profile face on television defending him, told Politico that Trump had avoided targeting her husband for months “out of respect for me.” But she added: “You think he shouldn’t respond when somebody, a non-medical professional, accuses him of having a mental disorder? You think he should just take that sitting down?”
http://time.com/5554883/trump-tweets-attack-george-conway/

And by the way if you wonder if there is a sinister motive behind the 2020 elections, have no fear because George Conway is here to do some Trumpsplaining to you guys! Of course there’s a sinister motive behind Trump’s 2020 reelection bid. I mean did you really expect anything less? I know that I don’t!

George Conway said Friday that President Trump "thinks he needs to be re-elected to avoid being indicted," taking another public shot on Twitter at the president.

Conway, who is married to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, came under attack from Trump this week after Conway questioned the president's mental fitness — a jab he made again on Friday.

The two have engaged in a bitter fight over Twitter and in presidential interviews with reporters all week.

“THINK about the fact that we don’t just have a mentally unstable president—but a president who thinks he needs to be re-elected to avoid being indicted. (At least in that one respect his thinking is clear.),” Conway tweeted.

The president is currently under investigation on an array of fronts, though it is far from clear he'll be indicted for anything.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/435267-george-conway-extends-trump-feud-trump-thinks-he-needs-to-be-re

[font size="8"]What’s Up With Brexit?
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You know the last time we checked in with Brexit was when we actually visited England last December (see: [link=https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211543778 | Idiots #5-23]), and it was crazy then. But the deadline for the UK to withdraw from the EU is this week. This week!!! Yes, so the deadline is this Thursday and they *STILL* can’t come to a conclusion. And there’s no possible scenario in which the UK comes out ahead in this. None. It’s going to be impossible to unpack all of this in four days and they may just wind up saying “fuck it”. So what happened while we were all watching basketball?

This was supposed to be the week when, for better or worse, Britain's Brexit future finally started to take shape.

This Friday, March 29, was the deadline etched into law as well as the minds of many Brits — the date they were finally set to leave the European Union.

But with British politics deep in uncharted waters, even that has been postponed. Because of an 11th-hour extension agreed to by Prime Minister Theresa May and European leaders last week, Brexit won't happen until at least April 12.

A delay, but far from a solution. All of the same problems that have reduced Brexit to chaos and quagmire still hang over this divided country.

On Monday, the European Commission said it was "increasingly likely" the U.K. will crash out of the E.U. without a deal. A "no-deal Brexit" does have some supporters, but many experts see it as a nightmare scenario that could blight the economy and bring shortages of food, medicine and basic supplies.
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/brexit-referendum/brexit-latest-european-commission-says-no-deal-brexit-increasingly-likely-n986851

This really is Anarchy In The UK for real! You ever stop and think that maybe the ultimate goal in all of these elections – going back to Duterte, Erdogan, Trump, Brexit, Bolsonaro, that the goal was complete and total chaos? Just whatever can we do to upset the established order? They got this week to figure shit out and they can’t even do that!

The drama of last night's vote in UK Parliament and the prospect of indicative votes tomorrow has thrust Oliver Letwin, the architect of the plan, into the spotlight.

Letwin is far from a household name -- but tomorrow, he will take control of the order paper in Parliament away from the government for the first time in living memory. So who is he?

Letwin is the Conservative MP for West Dorset, and voted Remain in the 2016 referendum. He is a veteran parliamentarian and known as something of a political fixer. He was an aide to former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and was a government minister under David Cameron.

Under Cameron's premiership, he helped maintain the relationship with the Conservatives' then coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats. He wrote the party's 2010 election manifesto -- its program for government.
https://edition.cnn.com/uk/live-news/brexit-latest-26-march-gbr-intl/index.html

I mean really at this point does anyone else to expect Parliament to stage a full Delta House style walkout with the Liberal Democrats humming “God Save The Queen” as they exit the House Of Commons? Anyone OK with that? Because that’s exactly what I picture happening on March 29th at midnight when neither party can come to a conclusion.

LONDON (Reuters) - British Prime Minister Theresa May will address her Conservative lawmakers on Wednesday, possibly to announce a resignation date in a last throw of the dice to win support for her twice-rejected Brexit deal in parliament.

At her weakest after parliament seized control of Brexit on Monday, May has yet to give up hope of getting approval for her deal to leave the European Union, which she says is the only way of ensuring an orderly exit that will safeguard business.

Parliament’s move seemed to have focused minds, with some eurosceptic lawmakers saying they could back her plan before choosing a new leader for the next phase of talks with the EU. But as yet her Northern Irish powerbrokers are still opposed.

One lawmaker from her Conservative Party said the prime minister’s decision to address the party’s so-called 1922 Committee at 1700 GMT on Wednesday suggested she could set her date of departure to win over that support.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-britain-eu/weaker-than-ever-uk-pm-may-tries-to-force-her-brexit-deal-through-idUSKCN1R70V6

&t=20s

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[font size="8"]Devin Nunes
[br] [/font] [br]

I couldn’t love this next story more. So of course you’ve probably heard by now that California representative Devin Nunes (R-obviously) has had a Twitter beef with his own cow. Or at least an account called @DevinCow (of which by the way, the Top 10 is a follower of now). And since we all know that republicans have no sense of humor, to the point which they fail to understand or grasp the concept of a joke, what do they do? Well, Devin sued Twitter for a whopping $250 million – yes, it seems that’s everyone’s price right now is a QUARTER OF A BILLION dollars. In fact here’s how all of this went down.

Consider this: A parody account pretending to be an imaginary cow owned by Representative Devin Nunes, the California Republican, is more popular on Twitter than the congressman, a day after he sued the account (and Twitter) for $250 million.

This is how politics and humor now play out in the strange world of social media.

The parody account @DevinCow had only 1,200 followers on Monday, but it ended Wednesday afternoon with 467,000, surpassing Mr. Nunes’s account with its 395,000 followers.

And the count was still growing. By Thursday evening, after news coverage, the gap had widened, with the fake cow at 600,000 followers.

But there’s more. A website now sells Devin Cow T-shirts. Twitter users have been celebrating with cow-themed items and jokes. Even Mr. Nunes’s fellow legislators showed their support for the errant beast. Ted Lieu, a Democratic congressman from Southern California, told Mr. Nunes on Twitter to “lighten up, dude.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/20/us/politics/nunes-devincow-twitter.html

Yes, maybe Devin should take a page from Bart Simpson here. Don’t have a cow. And I love that the account went from just barely toppling 1,000 viewers to over half a million! Oh and guess what? He’s not done yet! In fact there might be more lawsuits against Twitter for “defamation of character”. I mean really? Has he not been on the internet?

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) promised that he would file more lawsuits to “come after” people who “defame” him and other politicians on Twitter.

Nunes made the remarks during an interview with Mark Levin, where he discussed his lawsuit against Twitter. It was pointed out by The Democratic Coalition, a left-leaning PAC, on Wednesday evening.

“Sorry you just don’t get to defame politicians and put it out on Twitter anymore,” the California lawmaker said. “I mean, you can do it. But I’m gonna come after you.”

Nunes filed a lawsuit against Twitter earlier this week, seeking $250 million in compensatory damages and $350,000 in punitive damages, alleging that conservatives were being “shadow banned.” He also pointed to several parody accounts that were made “for the sole purpose of attack, defaming, disparaging, and demeaning” him. Fox News first reported on the lawsuit.

The lawsuit also seeks to have the identities of those running the parody accounts released.
https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/devin-nunes-twitter-come-after/

You think that's bad, wait until he gets a hold of this show! Bye everyone, it was nice knowing you! Yeah we make fun of Devy a lot on this show, and I’m sure he hates being called Devy. But this might be my new favorite thing. Devin is really showing what thin skins republicans have. But here’s the thing I love when people start fucking with the political process and showing what thin skins politicians have.

By Michael Andor Brodeur Globe Correspondent March 22, 2019

These are strange times. A town in Minnesota is mourning the death of its dog mayor. A town in Vermont just elected a goat. A colicky pomeranian sits in the White House. And on Twitter — where everything gets even stranger — a Congressman’s cow is moo-nopolizing all the attention.

You may have heard that California Representative Devin Nunes announced a $250 million defamation lawsuit he filed against Twitter as well as three users — Republican strategist Liz Mair, and two parody accounts: the now-suspended @DevinNunesMom and @DevinCow.

Nunes’s suit claims that Twitter is “shadow-banning” conservatives and conservative content, knowingly hosting abusive content (otherwise known as “Twitter”), ignoring complaints about abusive content, and failing to self-regulate and “thereby selectively amplifying the message of defamers such as Mair, Devin Nunes’ Mom and Devin Nunes’ cow.”

(It also manages to casually toss in that the mean amplified-cow-tweeting “illustrates the desperate and cowardly attempt to manufacture evidence of ‘collusion’ where none exists.” What were we talking about again?)
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2019/03/22/devin-nunes-sues-twitter-and-internet-has-cow/kmmEZGuXITWxOIFwRkHf9N/story.html

Yes, Mr. Nunes, please don’t have a cow. But even better is that Stephen Colbert managed to get in on the trolling by owning Devin with just a two word tweet. Yes, you heard that correctly, they can be owned in just two words, that’s how thin their skins are. I mean really guys, time to grow up!

A lawsuit by Republican Rep. Devin Nunes, aimed at Twitter and some of its users for alleged defamation and negligence, has led to a huge spike in followers for one of the parody accounts he targeted. Now, late night host Stephen Colbert has taken it a step further by creating another parody account aimed at the Republican California congressman.

The $250 million lawsuit mentions two anonymous parody accounts, "Devin Nunes' Mom" and "Devin Nunes' Cow."

After the announcement, the Devin Nunes' Cow account went from 1,200 followers on Monday, according to Newsmax, to 278,000 as of late Tuesday night.

Colbert jumped on board Tuesday night and said he had created a new parody account called "Devin Nunes' Skin."

"There’s nothing in Twitter’s terms of service that says you can’t have a parody account. That’s why it is totally legal for us to make @devinnunesskin. This is a real account, an actual account where you can find such announcements as ‘still thin,'" Colbert said.
https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/stephen-colbert-trolls-devin-nunes-with-new-parody-twitter-account/507-30e26abc-978e-486f-b8dc-67438891bad6

[font size="8"]THIS WEEK IN HATE
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It’s time for:

Conservatives love to project, and whatever they project is not necessarily what the other side is guilty of, it’s what they’re guilty of themselves. Case in point: HATE. And there has been a lot of it going around in the last five years or so. Since we started doing the Top 10. So what we’re going to do instead is compile some of the best, or worst depending on which way you look at it, of some of the talking points going around in the hate radio sphere. If there’s one thing the GOP loves to do, it’s rub salt in the wound. And while we’re all licking our wounds from the Mueller Report, they’re spinning it this way.

Right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video on Friday night in which he celebrated the news that Special Counsel Robert Mueller had delivered his report on Russian interference in the 2016 election to the Justice Department. Despite the fact that nothing was known about the findings of Mueller’s report at the time that Bernstein posted his video, he nonetheless celebrated by donning a party hat, blowing a party horn, drinking a beer … and calling for Hillary Clinton to face the guillotine.

“Liberals of America, are you feeling a little butthurt right now?” he laughed, before slipping into baby talk. “You didn’t get any collusion. Awww, poor babies. All I can say is they called John Gotti the Teflon Don; well, guess what? Donald Trump is the Teflon Don. He’s untouchable, baby! Untouchable.”

After proposing a toast to “every liberal scumbag in America,” Bernstein declared that members of the media should be required to pay back the millions of dollars the government spent on the special counsel investigation or else “should be fined for lying, assassination of character.”

Bernstein then demanded to know whether Attorney General William Barr has the “balls” to go after the people he believes to be the real criminals, such as Hillary Clinton.

“Does Barr have a set of balls or not?” he said. “That’s what we need to find out. Because the real investigations need to start now. We need to see people go down for the crimes that were committed. And Hillary Clinton—you sick, lying, dying witch of a woman—you should be first in line at the guillotines, as far as I’m concerned.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/josh-bernstein-hillary-clinton-should-be-first-in-line-at-the-guillotines/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You know they really are obsessed with other people’s balls aren’t they? And I mean they couldn’t be any more insane. Especially since Rush Limbaugh channeled his inner Alex Jones and suggested that the Christchurch shooting was – wait for it – a false flag! Ooh, oh they love them some false flag analogies don’t they?

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh suggested without evidence on Friday that the attack at two mosques in New Zealand may have been a false flag, sharing "an ongoing theory" that a suspect in the attack "may in fact be a leftist."

"There is an ongoing theory — [producer Bo] Snerdley, correct me if I’m wrong about this — there’s an ongoing theory that the shooter himself may in fact be a leftist who writes the manifesto and then goes out and performs the deed purposely to smear his political enemies, knowing he’s gonna get shot in the process," Limbaugh said on his show. "You can’t immediately discount this."

"The left is this insane. They are this crazy. And if that's exactly what the guy's trying to do then he's hit a home run," the host added before referencing a report on Fox News on a monitor in his studio. "Because right there on Fox News: 'The shooter is an admitted white nationalist who hates immigrants.'"

"You try to absorb all of this to try to keep some sort of an even keel about it," Limbaugh added. "And then from the manifesto again itself, the shooter says he’s not a conservative, not a Christian and that he identifies as an eco-fascist, which would make him a supporter of the Green New Deal. He adds that he disagrees with Trump on politics."
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/434351-limbaugh-suggests-without-evidence-that-new-zealand-attacker-is-a-leftist

That is a good point Taylor! Of course Limbaugh didn’t have any evidence to support his claim. This is the 2019 GOP, facts don’t matter! they also haven’t mattered And in case you’re wondering which side God is on, look no further than our old buddy Dave Daubenmire. Yeah I don’t have to tell you how many times we’ve covered his nonsense in the Top 10 but who buys the shit he’s selling. Well, hopefully no one, if that empty stadium backdrop he preaches in front of is any indication.

On his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire reacted to the news that, according to Attorney General William Barr, Robert Mueller’s special counsel investigation reportedly found no evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia during the 2016 election by declaring that this development shows that “the Lord has his hand on the Trump administration.”

“Do you understand that the entire media, the entire deep state, the CIA, the intelligence agencies, the political parties, all of that has conspired against Donald Trump and they failed?” Daubenmire said. “Do you understand the magnitude? Don’t you understand that there is some type of hedge, some type of protection around Donald Trump?”

Daubenmire said that despite the fact that “all the powers of hell” had come together to take down Trump, they couldn’t do it.

“All of those forces couldn’t find anything,” he said. “Oh, Mueller probably found he cheated on his taxes and they probably found that he had other women. They probably found some stuff on him, but the reality of it is their intention was to overthrow the American government. All the forces of darkness [attempted] to overthrow the American government … and here we stand two and a half years later and they failed!”

“The Lord has his hand on the Trump administration and I can’t explain it and I don’t know why,” Daubenmire concluded.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-mueller-report-shows-the-lord-has-his-hand-on-the-trump-administration/

Now this is the type of thing that I would save for Holy Shit, but our pastor is far busier with other matters! Well, this week, anyway. And by the way, in case you’re wondering where this is all headed, just look none other than conspiracy theorist and haggard middle school band teacher who just got off his shift, Frank Gaffney, whose manifesto sounds just like that of serial killers or active shooters everywhere. What? No, that’s not a good thing! Why can’t conspiracy theories ever be used for good things?

Frank Gaffney, executive chairman of the anti-Muslim hate group Center for Security Policy, joined Breitbart News editor-in-chief Alex Marlow this morning on SiriusXM Patriot’s “Breitbart News Daily.” Less than a week after the Christchurch massacre, he resumed his scaremongering that Muslims are trying to take over their societies—something expressed repeatedly in portions of the Christchurch terrorist’s alleged manifesto.

“You cannot assimilate vast numbers of people who simply don’t want to be part of your society. They want to transform it into something very different and ultimately at some point you either resist or you submit,” Gaffney said. “Submission is going to be pretty ugly, and it’s happening in parts of Europe already.”

He continued, “It’s not simply a problem in its own right, it’s a foretaste of what the Ilhan Omars and the Keith Ellisons and the André Carsons, Rashida Tlaibs and so on, would have in mind for America, too, if they had their way. This is the really vexing problem of our time.”

Marlow addressed the “Soros-funded freaks” listening to the program, and said that by acknowledging that there are Muslims who don’t want to implement Sharia law in the U.S. they were clear of charges of promoting bigotry. Gaffney had just said that there are Muslims who don’t want to impose Sharia law in America but that “enough of them do” that it needs to be confronted.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/frank-gaffney-sounds-a-lot-like-the-christchurch-shooters-manifesto/

That’s it for:

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Free Speech On Campus
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 investigates!

Free speech on campus. Is it under attack? The president of the United States seems to think so and his alarmist and extremist nature would seem to think that it is that way. But in reality, to use one of his favorite phrases, it’s a colossal nothing burger. Free speech is not under attack, people are free to say as they please. But if they start spewing bile and hatred, they will have something bad happen to them, it’s just human nature. Ask Michael Jackson. But what is their underlying motive? Why do they all of a sudden care about this issue when they didn’t 5 years ago? The answer is a lot more complex than you might think.

Exactly a year ago, at a forum for millennial Republicans at the White House, President Trump was asked by Charlie Kirk, the founder of the conservative youth group Turning Point USA, what he made of recent controversies involving the free-speech rights of conservatives on college campuses. “You go to the real campuses, and you go all over the country, you go out to the Middle West, you go out even to the coast in many cases, we have tremendous support,” he replied breezily, brushing off the purported crisis.“I would say we have majority support. I think it’s highly overblown. Highly overblown.”

He has since been better at sticking to the script. In a White House ceremony on Thursday afternoon, Trump signed an executive order barring colleges that are deemed unduly restrictive of free speech from receiving federal funds—a move that was previewed in the President’s speech to this year’s CPAC conference, earlier this month, and in a tweet that he posted in early 2017, in response to protests that had broken out at U.C. Berkeley over a scheduled appearance by the right-wing agitator Milo Yiannopoulos: “If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view - NO FEDERAL FUNDS?”

“Under the guise of speech codes, safe spaces, and trigger warnings,” Trump said on Thursday, “these universities have tried to restrict free thought, impose total conformity, and shut down the voices of great young Americans like those here today. All of that changes starting right now.”

One of the young Americans who was invited to speak at the signing ceremony was Ellen Wittman, of Miami University in Ohio, who had run a pro-life group on campus. “Universities are supposed to be marketplaces of ideas,” she said solemnly during her turn at the lectern. “They should be encouraging free speech, not shutting it down.”
https://www.newyorker.com/news/current/trumps-free-speech-executive-order-and-the-rights-fixation-with-campus-politics

Except that they probably don’t. Conservative attacks on campus free speech have nothing to do with safe spaces or “trigger warnings”. They have everything to do with hate, and spreading white nationalist ideals, much of which had been shut down decades ago. But what happens when campuses start shunning ideals that they do not see as pure? One only has to look as far as the president’s favorite university, Liberty University, to see how far this goes.

When President Trump issued an executive order last week dealing with campus free speech, he was joined by conservative students who complained their rights had been trampled by liberal censorship.

One of the earliest backers of the Trump executive order was Liberty University president Jerry Falwell Jr., who has frequently called out the alleged "silencing" of conservative college students.

“The president is right to stop our government from handing out taxpayer dollars to subsidize institutions that practice censorship -- regardless of whether that censorship is used against those on the left or the right,” he wrote in a Fox News opinion column earlier this month.

No college president is more closely identified with the president than Falwell, who invited Trump to give a 2017 commencement address at Liberty and has frequently attacked the president’s critics in the media and on Twitter. He’s also claimed unique credentials on campus speech, having declared in the past that Liberty promotes free expression “unlike many major universities where political correctness prevents conservative students from speaking out.”
https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2019/03/25/jerry-falwell-key-trump-ally-falls-short-big-talk-free-speech-critics-say

Yes, Liberty University has been actively censoring opposing opinions, and it is the stuff of pure evil, but that’s what they want. It’s all about power and they want absolute power. And they’re going to get it if they have to make the rest of us miserable. But this is igniting a debate that no one really wants to talk about but we must. How far is too far to go for free speech? They are certainly testing the limits.

In a move that appeared aimed at what some view as a growing trend of political correctness on college campuses, President Trump signed an executive order Thursday to bar federal research grants to institutions that don't "avoid creating environments that stifle competing perspectives."

The president promised earlier this month at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) that he would do something about what he called a political climate on liberal college campuses that chills discourse. His executive order conditions research funding on "compliance with the First Amendment" and directs federal agencies to ensure that institutions receiving federal research or education grants "promote free inquiry."

During the signing ceremony at the White House, Trump specifically called out "professors and power structures" that keep young Americans from "challenging rigid far-left ideology," and lamented that many universities have become "increasingly hostile" to free speech.

"We will not stand idly by and allow public institutions to violate their students' constitutional rights," Trump said. "If a college or university doesn't allow you to speak, we will not give them money. It's very simple."
https://www.npr.org/2019/03/22/705739383/trump-and-universities-in-fight-over-free-speech-federal-research-funding

Yes except that what the president doesn’t know is that universities already *HAVE* to adhere to first amendment standards or they will lose funding. And here’s the thing too – you can get up in a room and literally say anything. That doesn’t mean that people will pay attention to what you have to say, nor will they care. But what is this really about? It’s about power and hate. The power to hate.

President Donald Trump gleefully pressed on another culture war hot button Thursday afternoon, issuing an executive order that’s supposed to address allegedly serious threats to free speech on America’s college campuses.

The order itself does very little in practical terms: As my colleague Ella Nilsen explains, it basically amounts to reminding universities about existing law. But that doesn’t mean the order is insignificant.

It reflects, instead, the degree to which the conservative movement, joined by a few prominent anti–political correctness crusaders, has created a panic about the limitation of free speech on college campuses — as Trump demonstrated in his signing statement for the order.

“Under the guise of speech codes and safe spaces and trigger warnings, these universities have tried to restrict free thought, impose total conformity, and shut down the voices of great young Americans,” he said.
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/21/18275839/trump-free-speech-executive-order-turning-point-usa

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Tampa, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know, we live in troubled times right now. But the question remains clear – who is really in charge? And why should we be praying for them? Now I may be forming an independent thought among the pastor community, but I think that prayers must be earned, and they must be going for good and not evil. Of course, those on the right believe that they are doing the work of the good LAWRD JAYSUS! But when you think about it, iron fist authoritarianism really goes against the good LAWRD’s doing. Or does it?

Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s right-wing president, visited President Trump in the White House on Tuesday and followed up his official business with a Christian Broadcasting Network interview and meeting with conservative religious leaders, including CBN’s Pat and Gordon Robertson. U.S. right-wing leaders had supported Bolsonaro’s campaign and celebrated his election as an answer to prayer.

At a Rose Garden press conference with Trump, Bolsonaro said, “Brazil and the United States stand side-by-side in their efforts to ensure liberties and respect the traditional family lifestyles and respect to God, our creator, against the gender ideology and the politically correct attitudes and against fake news.” (Trump said he was proud that Bolsonaro was using the term “fake news.”)

Bolsonaro told CBN correspondent George Thomas that his election was a “huge miracle” given that so much of the media was against him. Bolsonaro said he agrees with much of what Trump does, and in addition to that, “we are both Christians and are God-fearing men.”

CBN noted that Bolsonaro “has surrounded himself with well-known Brazilian evangelicals,” including influential pastor Silas Milafaia, who told CBN he believes Bolsonaro is God’s chosen man to lead Brazil. He praised Bolsonaro for opposing abortion and the “privilege” of the LGBT movement.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/brazils-bolsonaro-calls-election-a-miracle-sides-with-trump/

Yes, so our slide toward authoritarianism continues! Because it’s getting weird out there and it’s not just America, but fundamentalists around the world are celebrating the rise of fascism and dictatorship! Now is that a good thing? It most certainly is not!!! And by the way, where does support for these wannabe dictators come from? Well, you might be surprised!

In the 2016 presidential election, exit polling tells us, about 8 out of 10 white evangelicals who voted pulled the lever for Donald Trump. This information came as a disappointment to many and, to some, as further indication of the moral hypocrisy of white evangelicals.

Those who promote “family values,” espouse equality for all people and stand for biblical ethics chose to embrace a man whose words and actions often place him as the antithesis of all that evangelicalism supposedly represents.

The enthusiasm of white evangelical voters did not dissipate after the election, either. Throughout an administration rife with scams, grift and bigotry, this voting bloc has remained the most loyal to the president. But Trump’s white evangelical base shows signs of weakening.

A recently released report from the Pew Research Center shows that white evangelical support for the president has slipped but it remains strong.
https://religionnews.com/2019/03/19/white-evangelical-support-for-trump-comes-from-churchgoers-not-einos/

And that is most certainly true! By the way, my fair congregation, we’re going to go global here for a minute and just expand on this. I mean… how do people like the Dark One and the Brazillian Dark One get elected? What is fueling this rise in hate and oppression all over the world and which the great United States is not immune from?

For months, Father José Alberto Idiáquez has received threats on Twitter, on WhatsApp and in phone calls. The aggressors say that the Jesuit university he runs in Nicaragua’s capital supports a coup against the government and that he has been inciting his students to protest.

On any given day, dozens — and sometimes hundreds — of armed police and paramilitary surround Universidad Centroamericana in Managua. They have been deployed to intimidate him and others, said Idiáquez, the rector.

Idiáquez has loudly condemned longtime President Daniel Ortega’s violent crackdown against a civil uprising that began last April and has led to more than 300 deaths and 2,000 injuries, according to the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, mostly at the hands of national police and paramilitary gunmen. Many of Idiáquez’s students are opposition activists, and he has participated in marches himself and offered the campus as shelter for those fleeing gunfire.

“When you see them killing people, you have an obligation to protect someone who is defenseless,” he said in a phone interview.

As a result, he is now a target himself.
https://www.latimes.com/world/la-fg-nicaragua-priests-20190325-story.html

Holy shit!!! Why yes, that is the name of this segment good sir! So… if you speak up, the trolls will come after you. It’s almost like a virus has been introduced in the matrix. I mean we could go all day on this topic. Why do evangelicals support the most unholy Dark One? He is the original deadly sin, he is all seven of them combined!!! And that in the eyes of the LAWRD shall not stand!!! Let’s ask an actual Christian scholar, shall we?

Seventy-one percent.

That’s the percentage of white evangelicals, according to a recent Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) poll, who still say they approve of Donald Trump’s presidency. That figure is down just 3 percent from April.

In the intervening months, Trump’s controversial migrant family separation plan scandalized faith groups by taking undocumented children from their families at the US-Mexico border, and several prominent evangelicals, including Franklin Graham, spoke out against the policy. But that seems to have figured little into evangelicals’ assessment of Trump overall.

Why do white evangelicals still support Trump in such strong numbers? And what will that mean for the upcoming midterms? I spoke to John Fea, a historian of American religion at Messiah College in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, and author of Believe Me: the Evangelical Road to Donald Trump, about how Trump has galvanized his Christian base and about the “court evangelicals” who have traded their traditional moral ethos for access to one of the most powerful men in the world.
https://www.vox.com/2018/11/5/18059454/trump-white-evangelicals-christian-nationalism-john-fea

There you have it, even the good LAWRD is facepalming at the fact that his followers support rising dictators. Mass has ended, may you go in peace!! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives have been upping their ante in the quest to start some violence against Trump’s opposition, especially now that the Mueller Report has come back as a nothing burger. Or nothing berder, depending on which way you look at it. For the first time since the mid 1850s, conservatives have been beating the possibility of a civil war against liberals and anyone who dares oppose their tyrannical path. So just how insane has it got? Well let’s ask everyone’s favorite, openly racist Iowa representative, Steve King.

A thistle to Rep. Steve King for sharing a Facebook post boasting red states would “win” a fight against blue states — and that they have “8 trillion bullets.”

King, whose appetite for public attention apparently can never be satiated, could earn himself a thistle nearly each week for his social media posts and remarks. He has long made Iowa a national embarrassment.

“Wonder who would win…” the Iowa Republican wrote in his post with a photo depicting Democratic-leaning states engaged in a fight with Republican-leaning states. “Folks keep talking about another civil war. One side has about 8 trillion bullets, while the other side doesn’t know which bathroom to use,” he wrote, apparently referencing gender-neutral bathrooms.

More: The Register's editorial: Steve King should resign for the good of Iowa

The Iowa congressman was stripped of committee assignments by House Republicans following remarks he made that were sympathetic to white supremacy. Making light of violence in this country, particularly gun violence, is yet another low. Hopefully voters in the 4th District will next year strip him of his congressional platform by finally booting him from office.
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/opinion/editorials/2019/03/21/steve-king-civil-war-gop-kim-reynolds-grassley-joni-ernst-immigration-wall-devos-school-vouchers/3205721002/

He’s actually… probably not wrong there. They might actually have 8 trillion bullets. We don’t know, we don’t know! And Steve King wasn’t the only guy who beat the Civil War drums this week – there was also the guy who we currently call president! Yes, remember his “Bikers For Trump” comment a couple of weeks ago? That didn’t age well!

Authoritarianism is a slip and a slide, inch by inch, as a leader slowly backs an SUV over the republic of which citizens handed him control. The goal is to move the window of what is acceptable to talk about slowly but decisively, until what you talked about becomes something that can be done. It might feel like the same old thing over and over, but there are new elements each time, a new outrage to digest until it becomes an old outrage and, ultimately, a part of life.

This has been a banner week for democratic backsliding. On Wednesday, Donald Trump, American president, gave an interview to Breitbart, the once-prominent right-wing content machine that was caught laundering white-nationalist propaganda into the mainstream. In the interview, he hits a familiar refrain—but ratchets things up a notch.

Leave aside, for a moment, the scattergun syntax and the deeply preposterous idea the Republican Benghazi Party doesn't like itself a congressional investigation. This is the real deal: Here is the president hinting his political opposition could be met with force if "they go to a certain point." What is the "certain point"? Impeachment? Defeating him in the 2020 presidential election? Merely continuing to investigate him in Congress?

He mentions Bikers for Trump, implying there are civilian groups who could use violence to protect him. This sounds familiar, and armed civilians have already taken to the streets, chanting his name and attacking people. He mentions police, who are tasked with keeping order in those streets, but whom he believes would back him in some nonspecific—but clearly defined—confrontation.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26827290/bikers-for-trump-military-political-violence-president/

So never mind that Trump has his own army of heavily trained guards that protects him called, I don’t know, the Secret Service. Trump would rather have untrained, extremely pissed off yes men carrying out violent acts against his opponents. Yeah, let’s let that one sink in for a minute! And you know, in the words of the Simpsons’ Kent Brockman, who knows what spark will set off this powder keg?

Political analyst and legendary Watergate journalist Carl Berstein suggested President Donald Trump was sparking a “civil cold war” during his appearance on CNN’s Cuomo Prime Time on Friday.

Bernstein’s claim came following host Chris Cuomo’s proposal that Republicans and Trump’s base were unfazed by Michael Cohen’s claims that the president is a liar, racist and a cheat during his testimony to Congress earlier in the week.

“We are in a cold civil war in this country, and Trump has brought that cold civil war and every day brings it closer and closer to ignition,” Bernstein said. “And that is the great danger because everything he does plays to this base that is his way of staying in office, if he can stay in office and be re-elected.”

He added: “It’s all about that base. It’s not about uniting the American people as most previous presidents have tried to put together some kind of coalition with people in the center. Trump has made no attempt to do that.”
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-civil-war-bernstein-1349765

No, no, there’s no great battle here, Gramps. Just a bunch of mudflinging, name calling and hate being spewed back and forth on your favorite social media outlets. At least we can rest easier, despite the rhetoric and hate being turned up to 11, it’s really only a cold war. Don’t expect those 8 trillion bullets to be flying or bombs being dropped any time soon.

Are Americans separated into two irreconcilable partisan sides that instinctively love their fellow Democrats or Republicans but hate those in the other camp? This view, increasingly popular since the 2016 election, can leave the impression that partisans are unmovable by facts and logic, that they no longer want to associate with anyone on the other side, or that they would readily follow their leaders into battle against fellow citizens.

It is not a total myth. There is a real rise in negative partisanship: partisans rate the other party less favorably, reporting increasingly cold feelings. But when answering questions about the parties, citizens are thinking more about elites like Presidents Trump or Obama than about voters such as their own relatives. Negative partisanship is more closely tied to dislike of politicians than voter groups, though perceptions of voters in the other party are also negative. Many dislike both parties’ leaders and just find their own party more tolerable than the opposition.

When asked to explain what they dislike about the other party, voters mention its leaders a lot more than its voters. Even when voters do think of politics as a conflict between social groups, they usually discuss what groups are likely to benefit from each party’s policies (most commonly, Democrats saying Republicans are out to help the rich or hurt the middle class) rather than their disdain for the other half of the country.

The other dramatic indicator driving concern is the increasing number of partisans saying they would not approve of a child marrying someone from the other party. But one study found that many people disapprove of marriages to people described as either Democrats or Republicans because they expect partisans of either stripe to talk too much about politics. People also may express dislike of the other side as a form of team fandom — and in fact, Yankees and Red Sox fans also sometimes voice disapproval of their child marrying a fan of the wrong team.
https://www.salon.com/2019/03/25/no-civil-war-coming-believe-it-or-not-political-tribalism-in-america-is-overstated/

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

I don’t know if you saw the Florida Man challenge this week, but because of that, and the fact that we’re in Florida, we’re doing a special all Florida man edition of “People Are Dumb”, because, you know why, audience! Thank you. And yes, at the end of this segment, we’ll reveal the dumb thing that Florida Man did on December 5th, the day of the Top 10’s anniversary. But I want to start with this minor league team out of Jacksonville, which is affiliated with the Miami Marlins. They’re called the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimps, and they are planning what may be one of my favorite baseball promotions of all time – because it’s Florida Man. Well, the Jumbo Shrimp are planning a Florida Man themed night and it is going to be truly magical.

When your team is named the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, you’re clearly not opposed to pushing the envelope to have a little fun. The latest example is a “Florida Man” promotional night where the Miami Marlins’ Double-A affiliate will “attempt to break a weird Florida law every inning.”

The game on July 26 will be sponsored by a law office and pays homage to all the wacky crimes that emerge from our beloved state.

The Jumbo Shrimp — yes, that’s their real oxymoronic name; they changed it after more than 50 years as the Jacksonville Suns — have not announced which specific laws they will break.

I mean, why tip off the fuzz, right?

This promotion has already gotten the team national attention from the likes of ESPN, Sports Illustrated and CBS.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/miami-marlins/fl-sp-florida-man-night-jacksonvillle-jumbo-shrimp-20190320-story.html

?itemid=12769690

So that out of the way, let’s go to this story out of Seminole County, that’s Orlando don’t you know, where this guy robbed a liquor store wearing a Spiderman mask. But hey Spiderman is supposed to be a good guy! And I know that multiple Spiderman universes exist thanks to Into The Spiderverse, but really, come on, we need to do better people!!!

A liquor store just north of Orlando got a visit from Spider-Man back in January, only this web-slinger wasn’t of the friendly neighborhood variety.

Deputies said he’s the man who broke into Winn-Dixie Wine and Spirits in Casselberry, FL, wearing a Spider-Man mask to steal alcohol and cigarettes.

Deputy Bruce Milne responded to the burglary report. He immediately caught a break while reviewing surveillance footage.

The suspect first tried to open the store’s door without a mask on.

“To me, it was just a matter of absolute surprise that he would walk up to the door first, try to break in, and then it starts clicking in his head, ’Oh, I might get recognized if I do this without a mask on,’” Milne said.

Investigators said Wilburn went to a nearby thrift store where he found the Spider-Man mask.
https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-dons-Spider-Man-mask-during-liquor-store-burglary-507385931.html

That is true! Next up, we go to Milton, Florida for this story. Look, I love a good fast food rage story, you know that. And hey when you’re drunk and you’re craving one food and can’t shake that craving, sure, I know what that is like! When you’re drunk, you got to have that one food and nothing else will satisfy you. But don’t bring violence into it, that is a no no.

A Florida man has been arrested and charged with battery after he allegedly pushed a woman who wouldn’t let him into her house to eat egg rolls.

Police in Milton, Florida, have said in an offense report that the suspect, 44-year-old Keith Johnson, arrived at the victim’s house drunk, demanding to come in so that he could eat the Chinese foodstuff.

ABC affiliate WEARTV reported that Johnson kept ringing the doorbell despite the complainant repeatedly telling him she wasn’t going to let him in and didn’t want him in her home.

The victim claimed eventually that she said she would come out to give Johnson the egg rolls, which were inside the home. It is at this point, when she opened the door, that he shoved her inside.
https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-shoved-woman-because-he-wanted-eat-egg-rolls-her-house-claims-she-1370734

Oh that clip is a classic! Next up, we go to Gainesville for this one. That’s the home of the Florida Gators, don’t you know? Well here’s the thing, impersonating an officer *NEVER* ends well especially for you, and especially if you happen to come across an actual police officer. So this happened.

The latest Florida Man tale: A Deltona man impersonating a police officer uses a public warning system on a real cop.

A Deltona man playing policeman caught up to a real one and used an illegal public address system and lights to warn a sheriff’s sergeant driving an unmarked vehicle in Pierson, Volusia sheriff’s officials said.

Shortly after that, Sgt. Todd Smith turned on his real blue lights and pulled over Thomas Farmer, 64.

Farmer was arrested on Tuesday and charged with impersonating a law enforcement officer, a third-degree felony.

When the sergeant investigated the incident further, he learned that Thomas had previously been warned twice by deputies to stop using his horn, loudspeakers and lights, as his behavior is consistent with impersonating a police officer, his arrest report shows.
https://www.gainesville.com/news/20190320/oh-florida-man-playing-policeman-never-ends-well-for-you/2

And let’s not forget that in Florida, the ladies can be just as crazy as the men are! Why does this story remind me of the scene at the beginning of Super Troopers where the stoners are discussing who owns the water in a beach property? We go to Melbourne (Florida, not Australia) for this story.

A Melbourne fisherman says he regularly fishes along State Road A1A, south of the Sebastian Inlet, and has done so without incident for 20-some years.

Until Saturday.

That’s when Jose Ortiz told WPEC-TV 12 News that Joyce Khatibi, who owns property nearby in Vero Beach, started yelling at him from a dock and aimed a hose in his direction. She told him he can’t fish at his favorite spot anymore, “because she owns the water.”

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called and Ortiz was initially asked to leave when they looked at online property records. But a follow-up look at the records showed that Khatibi’s property line didn’t extend into the water, WPEC found.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228227534.html

Finally this week, even Florida animals are crazy! The animals!!!!! Why is my voice so high? Anyway, if there’s one thing that I learned from the movie Up, it’s that squirrels are dicks. And if you do come into contact with one, get the nearest attack dog on it, but if you don’t have one, run! But this story seriously has everything. We go to Sarasota for this story.

“Frickin squirrel attacked me,” Robby Armstrong posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, a day after the rodent bit him. His security cameras caught the attack, one Armstrong said was not unusual in the neighborhood.

The squirrel, which he said was raised by his neighbors when it was a baby and then released, bit other residents. Among the other bite victims of the aggressive rodent: Armstrong’s stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it, News Channel 8 reported.

Armstrong had enough, he posted. “I chased him around and shot him with a BB gun about 10 times but he is still alive so be on the lookout for a crazy squirrel.”

On Wednesday, Armstrong told the Miami Herald he was “fine” and that the squirrel “is still roaming around.”
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228166959.html

Oh and in case you’re wondering what our Florida Man Challenge story is, it’s Florida Man Arrested For Going Shopping After Job Interview. Florida Man, you’re the best. Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s it this week for our special all Florida Man edition of:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to round 1 week 3 of our action action action! Last week it was some great stuff as Mississippi knocked out conference favorite Indiana in a double overtime shocker to advance to the Family Values conference championship. Meanwhile, Wisconsin routed longtime Fiscal Irresponsibility conference favorites Nevada to advance to the conference championship! This week we are in Salt Lake City for all the week 3 action as Wisconsin will find out their Elite 8 opponent as favorite Michigan takes on hot newcomer Alaska! In our second matchup this week, it’s a Gun Nut duel to the death as two juggernauts of this conference – last year’s champion Florida will duke it out with longtime favorite Montana to advance to the Elite 8. Let’s break out those brackets and follow along!

:

[font size="4"]Michigan Vs Alaska[/font]

[font size="4"]Michigan[/font]

Michigan is no stranger to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. As one of the most populous states in the Rust Belt, Michigan also has a ton of rural areas, and with rural areas comes rural politics, and the rural areas always tend to select the craziest politicians. Well, when you elect shitty politicians, as Michigan has done time and time again, you’re going to get some really shitty laws and policies, such as those that affected the city of Flint. Now in 3 years you would think that the city of Flint would be back to some level of normalcy, but guess what? They’re not! In fact they actually have celebrities helping them because the mayor wont!

Jaden Smith is helping the residents of Flint, Michigan, through a new initiative. The rapper, actor and co-founder of the eco-friendly company JUST Water has partnered with a local Flint church to deploy a mobile water treatment system.

The system is called "The Water Box" and it filters out lead and additional contaminants in water, according to a press release.

Flint's water crisis began in April 2014 after the city's water source was switched from the Detroit River to the Flint River, which resulted in city-wide lead contamination of public drinking water. First Trinity Missionary Baptist Church in Flint has been on the front line of the battle to restore drinkable water in the city. The church has also given out more than 5 million bottles of water to local residents.

In 2018, the free bottled water program set up by the state was ended under former Gov. Rick Snyder. However, a recent announcement by newly appointed Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer states that the program will be reinstated . Bottle donations for the city have declined and accessing clean water continues to be an issue, which is why JUST Water stepped in to assist, according to a release.
https://www.abc15.com/entertainment/jaden-smith-is-helping-fix-the-flint-water-crisis-with-his-companys-mobile-lead-filtration-system

Well that’s a good point! So that happened. But really how is the Flint Water Crisis still a thing? Well, since this is the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, we did decide to do a little digging into Flint’s finances, and well, this happened. Get ready to boo.

The mayor of Flint, Michigan is set to receive a large pay raise after a chaotic city council meeting in which at least one member pushed back given the ongoing water crisis.

Flint Mayor Karen Weaver may get paid 36 percent more on her next taxpayer-paid paycheck, seeing her pay increase from $91,801 to $125,000 annually along with much smaller pay bumps for all other members of the city council. Several members of the Flint city council in attendance Friday were confused about when pay raises would take place or if it was even possible to table the timely matter, MLive.com first reported. A few members of the council said they did not support the pay raises given the city's ongoing water crisis problems, but a pair of others took no issue with the increase.

First Ward councilman Eric Mays defended the mayor's pay raise in a phone conversation with Newsweek Monday, saying not to "make it personal" and that the mayor's office as a whole is worth even more than $125,000.

"I wouldn't care if it was $150,000...the office is administering and making decisions with corporations in a pool of millions, tens of millions of dollars, and we [the council members] are only looking at a net gain of about $1,000...I'm not tripping over $125,000 salary.
https://www.newsweek.com/flint-michigan-mayor-pay-raise-karen-weaver-water-crisis-increase-chaos-1374692

[font size="4"]Alaska[/font]

Alaska is a first timer in the tournament. They had a very strong regular season and finished near the top of this conference. You know if you’ve been following environmental news, oil companies for a long time have been trying to ravage Alaska’s nature preserves for that precious, precious crude. To the point where it’s affecting the state big time. In fact there’s that huge new pipeline being planned to the Gulf Of Alaska, and the person who is in charge of it is Alaska governor Mike Dunleavy. Who probably shouldn’t be trusted with $43 billion. Hell, he probably shouldn’t be trusted with $43.

It’s the $43 billion question for Gov. Mike Dunleavy: What to do with the Alaska LNG megaproject?

For now, the new governor wants to learn more about it before setting a course.

“(Dunleavy) will withhold judgment on this or any project until he and his administration can fully understand the costs, risks, and potential benefits," said Brett Huber, his senior policy adviser.

The plan involves building an 800-mile pipeline that would be used to ship North Slope gas to Nikiski, where a plant would liquefy it for shipment to Asian buyers. Dunleavy’s gas line adviser during the gubernatorial transition, former Gov. Sean Parnell, believes the complicated project should keep advancing until it wins federal approval.
https://www.adn.com/business-economy/energy/2018/12/15/dunleavy-weighs-fate-of-43-billion-gas-line-plan/

Yes, clap for Alaska! Do it!!!! So I think this might sum up the financial state that the state of Alaska is in, and this might be the most Alaska story ever. What happens when you’re the only tenant of a place and you get evicted? Oh and the tenant in question happens to be a cat.

A cat named Stormy that has spent more than six years as a fixture in a remote Alaska general store is being forced out after officials notified the store owners that the cat's presence violates food safety standards.

The Fritz Creek General Store near the small city of Homer has been home for Stormy since 2012, The Homer News reported Thursday.

The slightly overweight black cat often lounges on one of the store's wooden chairs or solicits customers for a scratch on her head.

The state Food Safety and Sanitation Program received a complaint about Stormy and an environmental health officer saw the cat in the store, said Jeremy Ayers, section manager for the agency.

Read more: https://www.valleymorningstar.com/news/strange_news/cat-that-lived-years-in-alaska-general-store-gets-evicted/article_f3c466e0-a914-5f24-b08e-e0b43c18bab1.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Oh this was a no brainer, Michigan won Alaska in the first overtime by a score of 10! Final score 77 – 67, they will move on to face Wisconsin.

[font size="4"]Florida Vs Montana[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]

Oh the Sunshine State needs absolutely no introduction. Last year they made a conference change from being in the Batshit Conference, where they were long time members, to being members of the Gun Nut Conference, where they won their first title in years. But last year’s championships had absolutely no rest on their morals because they had a very strong, dominating season that saw them nearly undefeated in this tournament. And that’s pretty strong. So what did Florida do on the one year anniversary of the Parkland shooting? Well we’re not going to talk about that yet. But we will talk about Florida teenagers – yes, even the teenagers are crazy in Florida!

Residents of the Boyette Springs neighborhood in Riverview, Florida, are accustomed to the band of peacocks that has roamed their community for years.

“People will stop and take pictures because it’s a rarity, you don’t see this kind of thing going on anywhere else,” said Karen Coggins, FOX 13 reports.

But neighbors in the Tampa Bay area town say the peacocks have now attracted a new problem: Teens armed with pellet guns, who shoot and kill the birds, according to the TV station.

“My biggest concern is the children in the neighborhood,” said neighbor Amy Johansen, WFLA reports. “If one of those bullets goes and gets them, it just — it would be heartbreaking.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228354744.html

Well, speaking of that, this could provide an insight into how absolutely batshit fucking crazy the Sunshine State is, anyone can get a gun without a permit! Yes, anyone. You read that right. You can just walk into a store and buy a gun, sight unseen. That is an absolutely scary thought.

The shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, which killed 17 people, has put the focus on Florida's gun laws. For instance, the state doesn't require a permit or a license for someone to own a gun.

Here are some facts about the gun laws in the Sunshine State, from the Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence and the National Rifle Association's Institute for Legislative Action:

The right to bear arms is found in the first article of Florida's constitution: "The right of the people to keep and bear arms in defense of themselves and of the lawful authority of the state shall not be infringed..."

You don't need a permit or license to buy a gun, nor do you have to register a firearm.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/15/us/florida-gun-laws-trnd/index.html

[font size="4"]Montana[/font]

Montana is another state that absolutely needs no introduction. They are one of the reigning kings in the Gun Nut Conference. When you have mostly rural areas, no cell phone reception, and a scorching case of boredom, what’s your main source of entertainment? Shooting shit up! Montana loves to shoot the shit, both literally and figuratively! I mean come on, this is the state that elected and reelected body slamming wannabe tough guy Greg Gianforte as its’ only representative. So what is happening in Montana that they need their guns? Well this might be the most Montana story ever.

John Glen Stevens, the former undersheriff of Cascade County, was arrested Thursday in connection with an investigation into the Cascade County Sheriff’s Office (CCSO).

Stevens faces a felony theft charge and was released on his own recognizance.

In December, the Cascade County Attorney’s Office announced the Division of Criminal Investigation (DCI) of the Montana Department of Justice was investigating “financial irregularities” in regards to some purchases made by CCSO employees.

Court documents state an agent was assigned to investigate allegations of theft occurring within the sheriff’s office in August of 2018. The agent found three firearms that had been issued to or were under Stevens’ control during his employment were missing.
https://ktvq.com/news/crime-watch/2019/03/21/montana-ex-lawman-facing-theft-charges-for-keeping-guns-after-he-retired/

And in case you are wondering about Montana’s gun credentials, they are currently in the running as one of the unsafest states in the union. Yes, think about it – Montana has one of the highest concentrations of guns and gun nuts in the country. But they also do not practice gun safety in that state, since they don’t lock ‘em up either.

While 60 percent of Montana households own guns, our state has no law requiring the safe storage of firearms.

As a consequence, thousands of children live in Montana homes with loaded and unlocked firearms.

Children yearly bring firearms to schools or parties and are killed or injured by firearms they should not have accessed. We know that suicide by teens in Montana most often occurs by firearm. These public health tragedies can be reduced by better storage of firearms by adults.

Two laws have been proposed by Reps. Mary Ann Dunwell (House District 84) and Moffie Funk (House District 82) to address this glaring deficiency in Montana firearm law. Currently, these bills (House bills 480 and 477, respectively) are stalled and facing severe Republican opposition.
https://missoulian.com/opinion/letters/unsafe-gun-storage-in-montana/article_6f743442-5ce7-5800-865c-06177998fb14.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

OH MY GOD… Montana has come down to the wire and they’re just behind Florida by a score of 81 – 80, here we go. Montana is coming with the basket… oh, they MISS!!! THEY MISS!!! It’s over, Florida hangs on by one point, they will win and go on to face Oregon! Oh my god, that was nearly the upset of the century there. But Florida moves on to the Elite 8, Montana goes home. Final score 81 – 80.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week, we are done with the 1st round as the Elite 8 is beginning to shape up! It’s getting to be very exciting! For Round 1 Week 4, we’re live at the home of the Oregon Ducks, the Matthew Knight Arena in Eugene, Oregon, and it’s a battle of the Batshit Conference as Georgia takes on Texas to play Kentucky, while Ohio and Alabama battle to play Mississippi in a Family Values faceoff! Stay tuned!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Dirty Heads[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of the foremost bands of summer, you can see them on tour with 311 this summer. Their latest album is called “Swim Team”. Playing their song “Celebrate”, give it up for the Dirty Heads!

Thank you Salt Lake City! We had a great time on this very short tour, we are back home in Anaheim next week. See you next week!

Credits

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March 20, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save you 15% or more on your car insurance! We are back everybody! What’s up Atlanta? You guys doing good? It is good to be back here in Hotlanta. Is that still a thing? We hope so, even though it’s below freezing right now. Lousy March weather! And we just left California in time too where I don’t know, it’s 75 degrees and sunny right now. But hey we got shows t to do and crews to feed. Do we have time for the thing? I want to introduce a new segment called “Top 10 Heroes”. And this is my first entry for this segment. It’s short but sweet. That’s how we roll. So you know Fortnite is currently the biggest game in the world. And as such, people have become addicted to it, and when you’re addicted to a game like Fortnite, weird things can happen. It’s sent kids to rehab, there’s been places that have banned it. People have got divorced over it. Although this is my favorite. If you’re Carlos Santa of the Philadelphia Phillies (not to be confused with the other Carlos Santana), you use the resources that are available to you to take your frustrations out on your teammates who were playing the game during games. Yes, he took a baseball bat and smashed a fucking TV in to teach the other Phlilies players a lesson about in game distractions like he was Eli Roth’s character in Inglorious Bastards! So that’s why you don’t play games while you’re playing games! Thank you Mr. Santana, you are our first Top 10 Hero! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses the subject of public shaming with none other than Monica Lewinsky:

Wow, where do we begin this week? Well in the top spot this week is Paul Manafort (1) – the state of New York charged Trump’s former campaign manager with a whopping 16 crimes conspiring to commit treason against the US – meaning that he’s unpardonable. In the second slot this week is Donald Trump (2). Trump didn’t get to enjoy his number one favorite hobby – golfing, so he retreated to his number 2 favorite hobby – angry toilet tweeting! And man he was angry this week! In the third slot this week is something called “Jexodus”. So the GOP is trying to take the Jewish vote away from the Democratic party and it’s backfiring on them big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is Boeing (3) – who’s responsible for the 737 Max 8 fiasco? Well many could point fingers at Trump, and we’ve got some evidence to prove it! In the number 5 slot this week, we got to talk about the epic College Cheating Scandal that has many celebrities and the uber-rich now in the spotlight after it’s learned that cheating is rampant among the rich. For the 6th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to talk some pot. So New Mexico could be the first state in the nation to have legalized, state run marijuana shops, and we will do some due diligence on these and what it will be like once it passes. For the number 7 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Catholic Church, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do over your defense of Pete Davidson’s SNL joke. Our resident pastor will examine both sides of the argument! In the 7th slot this week, we have a new “How Is This Still A Thing”? And you might not be aware of a band called “JD & The Straight Shot”, but after dropping their latest album, which bombed, and not being booked for any gigs any time soon, how are they still a thing? For the 8th slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!!!!”. And this is social media gone berserk – really stop taking pictures and Instagramming your restaurant bathroom experience. Some things were not meant to be documented, stop it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course people are dumb. And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State continues! It’s Round 1 Week 2 and we’re live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, for the action! It’s a rematch of last year as Nevada’s gambling industry goes for broke against Wisconsin, while Alabama faces off against Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown! Plus we’ve got some live music from The Struts! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Paul Manafort
[br] [/font] [br] BO

We need some music for this one!

You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get? Another day in prison and deeper in debt… St. Donny don’t you call me cause I can’t go… I owe my soul to the Russian store! Doesn’t have the same ring to it, but in case you’re wondering, something that slipped from the cracks in the news last week – Paul Manafort got buuuuuuuuuuuusted!!! And guess what? That number means that Trump can’t pardon him, and let’s face it – we all knew he was going to. Or maybe he’ll just call Manafort a stupid loser and move on, honestly after that insane tweet storm last week it’s hard to tell where he stands. So what is Manafort guilty of?

Paul J. Manafort, President Trump’s former campaign chairman, has been charged in New York with mortgage fraud and more than a dozen other state felonies, the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., said Wednesday, an effort to ensure he will still face prison time if Mr. Trump pardons him for his federal crimes.

News of the indictment came shortly after Mr. Manafort was sentenced to his second federal prison term in two weeks; he now faces a combined sentence of more than seven years for tax and bank fraud and conspiracy in two related cases brought by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III.

The president has broad power to issue pardons for federal crimes, but has no such authority in state cases.

While Mr. Trump has not said he intends to pardon his former campaign chairman, he has often spoken of his power to pardon and has defended Mr. Manafort on a number of occasions, calling him a “brave man.”

Later on Wednesday, the president said, “I feel very badly for Paul Manafort,” and that he had “not thought about” a pardon for him.

The new state charges against Mr. Manafort are contained in a 16-count indictment that alleges a yearlong scheme in which he falsified business records to obtain millions of dollars in loans, Mr. Vance said in a news release after the federal sentencing.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/13/nyregion/manafort-indictment.html

That’s right – we got him!!!! You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get??? Damn that sure is catchy isn’t it? I mean that’s my Tennessee Ernie Ford chunk right there. Yeah we’re keeping up with what the kids like, aren’t we? OK getting back on topic. What is Paul Manafort actually charged with? And you might be outraged that Mr. Manafort only got a slap on the wrist a couple of weeks ago, but if one court doesn’t get him, the other one will!

The Manhattan District Attorney's office on Wednesday unsealed an indictment of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, shortly after he was sentenced in a case in a federal court in D.C.

According to the indictment, Manafort was charged with a total of 16 counts in the state of New York, including residential mortgage fraud and other state crimes, and if convicted on all charges could face between just over eight years and 25 years in prison, according to New York state law. The indictment was returned by a grand jury in Manhattan last week but announced on Wednesday moments after Manafort was sentenced to 73 months of imprisonment for illegal foreign lobbying and witness tampering in his D.C. case.

In November, Trump told the New York Post that though a pardon for Manafort had never been discussed, he "wouldn't take it off the table." With the New York District Attorney's charges, even if President Trump pardons Manafort, he still faces a criminal case on the new state charges. Mortgage fraud is not a crime under federal law and therefore there is no double jeopardy issue.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/paul-manafort-charged-york-mortgage-fraud-york-state/story?id=61657439

Allow me to finish that sentence, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, and a few friends and enemies, the Donald J. Trump administration would like to tell you to go fuck yourself, while at the same time reminding you to MAGA because we need that daily reminder. So now Manafort’s original sentence has been doubled to 7.5 years. How many more years can he get?

It would be hard to think of a more damaging day for a President than one on which his former campaign chairman disappeared behind bars for years to come. But Paul Manafort's new sentence was the least of Donald Trump's worries Wednesday as his Russia investigation nightmare took yet another turn for the worse.

New suspicions about dangled pardons, conflicting congressional testimony, implicit pleas for clemency and fresh suggestions of inappropriate presidential behavior delivered a new twist to the drama with Washington already on edge in anticipation of special counsel Robert Mueller's final report.
A new firestorm erupted over disputed assertions that ex-acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker did not deny in a closed congressional meeting that he had spoken with President Donald Trump about a case involving Trump's ex-lawyer Michael Cohen.

CNN reported explosive new revelations involving Cohen's allegation that a pardon had been dangled in exchange for him staying loyal to the President, in which he was purportedly told he could be sure he had "friends in high places."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/14/politics/russia-investigation-paul-manafort-michael-cohen-matt-whitaker/index.html

Oh I’ve got friends in high places, where they drink diet cokes and chase subpoenas, to avoid doing hard time, because I can’t think of anything else that rhymes… Yeah you know that feeling you get when you log onto Twitter or Facebook after not being on it all day and then you see something weird trending and you don’t know what it is? It’s kind of like that. But this scenario is more of that thing that action movies do where a character shows up to warn the other characters about how the bad guy is coming and he’s going to kill us all. Yeah Thanos is coming! This is like that but for Trump’s buddies.

The indictment of Paul Manafort by New York state prosecutors on Wednesday is a shot across the bow of the presidency — a warning and possible harbinger of future prosecutions of Donald Trump’s associates, children and even the man himself by the state.

Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. strongly implied the purpose of the prosecution: It was undertaken to ensure that Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, would serve prison time even if the president were to pardon him of the federal charges to which he has now been convicted. “No one is beyond the law in New York,” Vance said in a news release announcing the indictment.

The timing was directly coordinated with Manafort’s second federal sentencing, in which a judge in Washington increased his prison time to seven-and-a-half years. That’s another indication that Vance wants to use the power of New York State to address a matter that has already been addressed by federal prosecutors.

Until now, there’s been lots of speculation about whether state officials would use criminal law to go where federal charges and investigations might not go, or where they might be thwarted.
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2019-03-13/paul-manafort-s-new-york-indictment-is-a-warning-to-trump

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

So Donald Trump assures us that he’s the hardest working guy ever. “I’m the hardest working president of all time, nobody has worked harder than I have. It’s time to MAGA, believe me!”. Well when your favorite toy gets taken away from you – golf, what is a guy like Trump supposed to do for fun on the weekends? I know! Retreat to your second favorite toy – angry toilet tweeting! And he must have been backed up because there were a whole slew of angry tweets this weekend, and it might be one of his craziest ever. Someone really needs to tell Trump to turn off the TV and go outside for a while, but we all know he won’t do that. What did he do instead? He tweeted and very angrily at that!

President Trump tweeted 50 times over the weekend, posting 20 times on Saturday, and 30 times on Sunday. Between his first tweets on Saturday morning (clips of Lou Dobbs interviewing Diamond & Silk and a former ICE director) and his last on Sunday night (“MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”), Trump took his followers on a whirlwind tour of his feverish obsession with himself and the media. He praised his own accomplishments, mostly his Friday veto of a congressional resolution terminating his national emergency declaration, and those touting his resolve on cable news. At the same time, he railed against Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation, a Saturday Night Live rerun and the Radical Left Democrats, whom he accused of attempting to rig the 2016 election. On Sunday night, he retweeted a string of conspiracy theorists, capping an unhinged, two-day Twitter bender that would have been concerning if it came from your uncle, much less the president of the United States.

The president’s feed makes it clear that he spent an overlarge part of his weekend planted in front of a TV tuned to Fox News. He tweeted a clips of Lou Dobbs describing the ceremony during which Trump vetoed the congressional resolution to terminate his national emergency declaration as “emotional” and “stirring”; of various Fox News programs bashing the Justice Department for how it handled the investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails; and of the sheriff of Bristol County, Massachusetts, praising the president’s commitment to “protecting the people of this country.” All standard stuff.

But Trump also went after the network for removing Jeanine Pirro from the air Saturday night. A week earlier, Pirro suggested that Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) is un-American because she is a Muslim who wears a hijab. The comments were condemned by Fox News, which ultimately decided to suspend her program, Justice With Judge Jeanine. The president was not happy. “Bring back @JudgeJeanine Pirro,” he wrote Sunday morning. “The Radical Left Democrats, working closely with their beloved partner, the Fake News Media, is using every trick in the book to SILENCE a majority of our Country.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-fox-news-tweets-809375/

You know Trump hates Saturday Night Live so much that we’re going to instead forgo our usual memes and clips during this segment and instead replace them of footage of Alec Baldwin doing his famous Trump imitation! Because that’s how we roll! But that begs the question – why? Why does he have such a hatred toward late night comedy? Well, wait until he gets a hold of this show for one thing! But for now let’s focus on his vendetta with SNL and Stephen Colbert.

Donald Trump is taking his fixation with Saturday Night Live to a new level.

The President tweeted in the early Sunday morning hours a threat to have the NBC late night comedy series investigated by a federal agency. The offense? Mocking him.

“It’s truly incredible that shows like Saturday Night Live, not funny/no talent, can spend all of their time knocking the same person (me), over & over, without so much of a mention of ‘the other side,'” the president wrote. “Like an advertisement without consequences. Same with Late Night Shows. Should Federal Election Commission and/or FCC look into this? There must be Collusion with the Democrats and, of course, Russia! Such one sided media coverage, most of it Fake News. Hard to believe I won and am winning. Approval Rating 52%, 93% with Republicans. Sorry! #MAGA”

Oddly, SNL didn’t even air a new episode last night, but rather a repeat that featured at least one Trump sketch (with Alec Baldwin reprising his role as Trump).
https://ew.com/tv/2019/03/17/trump-threatens-snl-twitter/

Oh and that’s not Alec Baldwin, that’s actual footage of Trump’s appearance on SNL. And we all know how much he hates that clip, so don’t circulate it. Maybe that’s why he hates SNL so much? Well, that aside, what else did he tweet about? Well everything from GM closing their Lordstown, Ohio plant to Democratic rep Omar Ilhan, to John McCain. Yes, John McCain!! Seriously what’s wrong with this guy?

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26854200/donald-trump-twitter-meltdown-snl-fox-news-jeanine-pirro-qanon/

Yes, that’s actually president Donald Trump doing a monologue on SNL. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is heading, let’s take a look at Trump’s boss, Vladimir Putin, and the fact that he literally made it a crime to insult him. Why does the dictatorship always attract the fragile ego? They honestly have the most fragile egos of anybody.

President Vladimir Putin signed laws punishing online media and individuals for spreading “fake news” or material that’s considered insulting to Russian officials.

Prosecutors can now complain about online publications to the state communications watchdog, which has powers to block access to the websites if their owners fail to remove the material promptly. Publications found guilty of spreading “unreliable socially significant information” may face fines of as much as 1.5 million rubles ($23,000).

Individuals also face fines and up to 15 days in jail if they publish material online that expresses “clear disrespect for society, the state, the official state symbols of the Russian Federation, the Constitution of the Russian Federation and bodies exercising state power.”

The measures were attacked during their passage through parliament by the Presidential Human Rights Council, which warned of their potential use as methods of repression against critics of the authorities. Putin signed the legislation after thousands of people protested in Moscow earlier this month against Kremlin plans to establish a “Sovereign internet” that would route online traffic mostly through domestic servers and exchanges.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-18/insulting-putin-may-now-land-you-in-jail-under-new-russian-law

[font size="8"]Jexodus
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The latest voter suppression attempt to take away votes from the Democratic party and give them to less deserving conservatives, might be the most batshit crazy thing that they’ve come up with yet. It’s called “Jexodus”. You might have seen the guy who we currently call “president” even endorsing this insane trend. It’s basically a toxic cocktail of all of the GOP’s current favorite things – voter suppression, exile, fearmongering, intimidation tactics, and election stealing. And if you can also guess, anything that Trump touches turns to shit. But really would you expect the party that openly embraces anti-Semitism to welcome Jewish people with open arms? Yeah, we thought so too. So what is Jexodus? Let’s find out.

President Donald Trump on Friday declared that the Republican Party is “waiting with open arms” to welcome Jewish voters who he said are fleeing the "total disrespect" they have been shown by Democrats, whom the GOP has accused of harboring anti-Semitic sentiments.

The president touted the so-called Jexodus movement — which purports to be a grassroots movement aimed at getting Jewish millennials to desert the Democratic Party en masse — following segments on Fox News and the right-wing outlet One America News Network featuring the nascent organization.

“The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party,” he tweeted. “Total disrespect! Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!”

Trump has lambasted Democrats as the “anti-Israel” party after a series of comments from freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) about politicians’ support for Israel were deemed by many to be laced with anti-Semitic tropes. Omar’s comments resulted last week in the House overwhelmingly passing a resolution condemning bigotry that some said didn’t go far enough in singling out the Minnesota congresswoman.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/15/trump-jexodus-jewish-republican-1222890

Now just remember that this is a classic Nazi intimidation technique. Accuse that which you are guilty of yourself. Trump is so desperate for just about anything that he’s literally throwing shade on the Democratic relationship with Jewish people! So where did this madness start? Well, like all horrible things, it started at CPAC.

Have you heard about Jexodus, the new, totally laughable “movement” trying to steer millennial Jewish Americans—who are, as its website states, “tired of living in bondage to leftist politics”—away from the Democratic Party and into the arms of Republicans? (Good luck with that, by the way; as my Splinter colleague Rafi Schwartz pointed out, it’s not likely to happen, especially when a vile antisemite is currently occupying the White House.)

Jexodus apparently sprang from the brain of longtime Republican operative Jeff Ballabon, the man who, if you recall, recently called Representative Ilhan Omar “filth.” By the time Ballabon announced the creation of Jexodus at CPAC at the end of February, there was a website, a Twitter account, and one woman listed as its national spokesperson—Elizabeth Pipko, a 23-year-old whom Jexodus’s website describes as an “international model, Trump 2016 campaign staffer, poet, patriot, and fiercely proud millennial Jew.”

On Tuesday, Pipko was a guest on “Fox & Friends,” where she promoted the organization. “We left Egypt, and now we’re leaving the Democratic Party,” Pipko said. It almost immediately led to an approving tweet from Donald Trump:
https://theslot.jezebel.com/meet-the-trump-loving-model-harvard-student-and-poet-1833320654

You’re right Mr. Burgundy, it doesn’t make sense! So why does the GOP want the Jewish vote, why do they care? They won! They have everything they’ve ever possibly wanted – and the first president who accurately displays their values of anger and hatred! Why are they not satisfied? Why do they want more? Well…

President Trump on Friday urged Jewish voters to abandon the Democratic Party in favor of a "Jexodus" to the GOP while touting his administration's record on foreign policy surrounding Israel.

In a tweet, the president pointed to his decision to move the U.S. Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, as well as his rejection of the Iran nuclear agreement as reasons for American Jews to reconsider support for the Democratic Party.

"The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party. Total disrespect!" Trump tweeted. "Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!"

Trump and other Republicans have hammered Democrats over alleged anti-Semitism in their ranks in the weeks following controversial comments made by freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), who questioned the U.S. relationship with Israel repeatedly in ways that some said were steeped in anti-Semitic tropes.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/434195-trump-republicans-waiting-with-open-arms-for-jexodus-from

And that is true! If you’re a Jewish person in America, why would you go to the party that openly embraces white supremacism, neo nationalism, and anti-Semitism? Because… owning the liberals, that’s why! The GOP doesn’t care about rule of law anymore, they care about one thing and one thing only – owning the libs. Because, reasons. Will they get any takers? No! Jewish people find this term offensive in and of itself! You get nothing! You lose, good day sir!

When Democrats argued about a House member's comments on Israel and U.S. lawmakers, many saw it as an emerging dispute between the party's old guard and some of its younger members.

President Donald Trump saw it as a political opportunity with Jewish voters.

In tweets, public statements and speeches to supporters, Trump and his aides are trying to use claims of anti-Semitism to pry Jewish voters away from their longtime allegiance to the Democratic Party.

In his latest effort, a Friday morning tweet, Trump said Jewish people were leaving the Democratic Party in what he called a "Jexodus," though he did not cite evidence for such a shift. He said Republicans were "waiting with open arms" for Jewish voters. "Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!" he tweeted.

The phrase "Jexodus" stirred controversy on Twitter with some users calling it offensive to Jewish people.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/16/donald-trump-predicts-jexodus-jewish-voters-democrats-say-fantasy/3131536002/

[font size="8"]Boeing 737 Max 8 SNAFU
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You know we have a policy here at the Top 10 to not joke about tragedy. But since our thing is situational humor, we can make fun of the situation, can’t we? Well, the situation here is not good, especially when it comes to flying lately. In the last year, you’ve had planes crash into houses, freeways, and most recently, not one but two fatal crashes involving Boeing’s 737 Max 8. When something like that happens you immediately want to know who’s responsible. Well, considering that it’s a trillion dollar company like Boeing, and it may or may not involve the FAA, figuring out who’s responsible for this is going to be a clusterfuck. Here’s the latest.

As airlines and safety regulators worldwide scramble to understand why two Boeing 737 Max 8 jets crashed in chillingly similar accidents, more indications are pointing to how an automated anti-stalling system may be linked to the model’s unusually deadly debut.

The safety feature—the Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System (MCAS)—appears to have sent both planes into their fatal dives as pilots struggled to keep aloft. The 737 Max 8 and 9 were grounded by regulators around the world last week.

Here are key details that have been reported—most significantly by the Seattle Times—about a series of engineering, regulatory, and political missteps that preceded software being installed on a widely used plane without pilots apparently fully understanding its risks.
New planes, no new training

Boeing designed the 737 Max 8 to be similar enough to existing 737s that it could keep the same “type rating”—meaning, as the Times reported, that pilots who already flew 737s wouldn’t have to be retrained on a new plane and airlines would save a lot of money.
https://qz.com/1575509/what-went-wrong-with-the-boeing-737-max-8/

Holy shit!!! They figured that it would save money on training? That’s like when your company switches over to Windows 10 after being on Windows 7 for years because it requires no training. What the fuck does Cortana do? I’ve had Windows 10 for years and I still don’t fucking know!!! So where does the legal liability lie is the million dollar question.

The fatal crashes of two Boeing Co. 737 Max jets and the fleet’s worldwide grounding have triggered a complicated scramble regarding legal liability involving the manufacturer, airlines and the victims' families.

Boeing’s risks might be rising after a report in the Seattle Times that the company’s safety analysis for the airliner’s new flight control system had crucial flaws. Much of the legal liability depends on the findings of investigators, as well as the contracts Boeing has with airlines that purchased the planes.

But one thing so far appears clear: The families of passengers who perished in the crashes of Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 on March 10 and Lion Air Flight 610 in October will have strong claims for damages. Questions remain, however, about whether some of those legal cases will be heard in the U.S. or abroad.

“They are in a sense the innocent participants in the whole thing, and it’s really a function of when and how much” the families receive in damages — “and not if,” said Mark A. Dombroff, an attorney with the LeClairRyan law firm in Alexandria, Va., who often represents airlines.
https://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-boeing-737-max-lawsuits-liability-20190318-story.html

Yeah so to recap, Trump says Boeing is a “wonderful company”. By the way, in case you’re wondering how little Trump gets it, he actually tweeted out that airlines are “too complex to fly”. This guy has never flown an airplane in his fucking life! How would he know??? I mean just… oh fuck it, at this point trying to sort out his logic is just too complicated. In fact it might make your head explode.

President Donald Trump and Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg spoke by telephone Tuesday, following Trump's tweet about how flying has become too complicated, according to two sources familiar with the conversation.

Muilenburg has talked to Trump frequently and appeared alongside him several times during the first two years of his presidency.

"Airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. Pilots are no longer needed, but rather computer scientists from MIT. I see it all the time in many products. Always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better," Trump tweeted.

"Split second decisions are needed, and the complexity creates danger. All of this for great cost yet very little gain. I don't know about you, but I don't want Albert Einstein to be my pilot. I want great flying professionals that are allowed to easily and quickly take control of a plane!" he added.

Trump's tweets come days after a Boeing 737 MAX 8 plane crashed, the second time in months that the new airplane model has wrecked minutes after takeoff, killing all on board. The crashes have raised questions about the role of a new software system installed on the plane, but investigators have yet to reach a conclusion about the cause.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/12/politics/donald-trump-boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenberg/index.html

By the way if you’re wondering what the relationship is with the current Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg, and the Trump administration, this is completely not at all shocking. Which is why it took so long for America to condemn the 737 Max 8 where other countries it was pretty much a unanimous no brainer.

Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg reportedly put in a call with President Donald Trump on Tuesday to try to convince him not to ground his company’s embattled 737 Max 8 planes after two such models crashed in a matter of months. A number of countries have decided to keep the planes out of the air, but not the United States.

Maybe the US and the Federal Aviation Administration are right to see what investigators find out and take a prudent approach before taking action. But it would be a lot easier to believe that if Boeing weren’t so chummy with Trump.

The relationship between the Trump administration and Boeing has come under increased scrutiny in recent days amid concerns over the safety of one of the manufacturer’s planes. On Sunday, March 10, Ethiopian Airlines flight 302 from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Nairobi, Kenya, faltered and crashed soon after taking off, killing all 157 people on board. Just five months before, in October, a Lion Air flight taking off from Jakarta, Indonesia, crashed, killing all 189 passengers. The flights were the same model of planes, the Boeing 737 Max 8.

Multiple countries have grounded the planes, and in the US, there is increased pressure on the FAA to follow suit, including from members of Congress from both sides of the aisle, such as Sens. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), Mitt Romney (R-UT), and Ted Cruz (R-TX).
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/13/18263719/boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenburg-trump-tweet-call

[font size="8"]College Cheating Scandal
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Sadly, the College Cheating Scandal is not the craziest thing that happened this week, and any other week it absolutely would have been #1. This is so insane that we could really do a future edition where we devote all 10 slots to it, or at least 9 slots because we still have Stupidest State to get through. And the College Cheating Scandal really shows the overwhelming divide between America’s rich and poor – America’s rich can simply bribe some sleazebag to fabricate the test numbers, and their idiot offspring will get into the university of their choice, and they won’t take tests or show up to class, they’ll be there to party and get their drink on!

With its toxic blend of arrogance and entitlement, the college admission cheating scandal has touched a deep nerve across the country. But it represents only the most visible inequity in a higher education system that many critics believe now does more to stratify privilege than to expand opportunity.

"From an equity perspective, this is just the tip of the iceberg," says Anthony Carnevale, director of the Center on Education and the Workforce at Georgetown University. "This system is, in many respects, an aristocracy posing as a meritocracy."

As the nation inexorably grows more racially diverse, the higher education system has become a chokepoint to narrowing the gaps in economic opportunity between whites -- particularly those from upper-income families -- and minorities.

Although nonwhites will soon reach a majority of the under-18 population and already constitute a majority of public school K-12 students nationwide, most of them who attend college are still being channeled toward the least selective private and public postsecondary schools operating with the least resources. Meanwhile, whites still fill most of the seats at the most selective institutions, which spend the most on their students.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/19/politics/college-education-scandal-inequality-higher-education/index.html

Look, look, look. Here my whole thing. So the college cheating scandal touched a huge nerve in this country and put the spotlight on a huge problem in this country. The “great divide” is not between the left and the right. It’s between the rich and the poor. So what are some of the more bizarre details?

It doesn't necessarily take admissions officers long to figure out if an applicant has a fighting chance at getting into one of the country's top schools, according to one former officer.

"We see so many transcripts that, in about a third of a second, we can tell what type of trajectory the student is on," said McGreggor Crowley, the former director of undergraduate selection at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

That's not to say admissions officers generally make snap judgments. In interviews this week, the ex-admissions officers said their former colleagues comb through stacks of applications, pore over essays, scrutinize GPAs and try to help campuses winnow a vast pool of applicants to a select few.

They are the gatekeepers of what has become a deeply competitive — and, for many, a deeply unequal — process for high school students. The most esteemed schools extend invitations to only a tiny fraction of applicants — sometimes the admit rate is in the single digits or low teens — and some privileged families shell out thousands for test prep services, essay editors and private counselors.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/college-cheating-scandal-two-ex-admissions-officers-explain-behind-scenes-n983796

Yeah they didn’t think of the children when they went about and bribed sleazebags to take tests for them. Well, it did have its’ consequences for the parents. I’m sure by now you have all heard that the Hallmark Channel cut ties with one of its’ stars Laurie Laughlin over this scandal.

The fallout has begun for actress Lori Loughlin in the wake of her arrest this week for her alleged ties to a college admissions scandal, and for her daughter Olivia Jade Giannulli.

Loughlin was fired Thursday from the Hallmark Channel, on which she has been a staple, and beauty retailer Sephora announced hours earlier it has ended its partnership with Giannulli, who is a social media influencer.

"We are saddened by the recent news surrounding the college admissions allegations," the parent company of the Hallmark Channel said in a statement. "We are no longer working with Lori Loughlin and have stopped development of all productions that air on the Crown Media Family Network channels involving Lori Loughlin including Garage Sale Mysteries, an independent third party production."
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/lori-loughlin-s-daughter-olivia-jade-loses-sephora-partnership-wake-n983331

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: State Run Pot
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Marijuana is more popular than ever. So much that many states have voted to overturn marijuana laws that have been on the books for nearly a century. One such state – the State Of New Mexico – could become one of America’s first states to have legalized marijuana stores run by the state. With that, comes many questions. What would that be like? What would that entail? And is it really cool if the man does it? Well the answers are yes, no, and yes. In fact New Mexico’s brush with legalized marijuana could set a precedent for the entire country to follow. While it was unsuccessful this time, who knows what is in store?

A bill aiming to legalize and regulate marijuana in New Mexico had a lot of momentum but doesn’t appear to be on its way to becoming law this session.

While the 2019 session ended at noon on Saturday, New Mexico House Bill 356, or the “Cannabis Regulation Act,” is expected to die in the Senate, stuck in committee.

While that bill passed a full House vote and had broad support from Democrats in the Senate, the Senate Finance Committee has yet to schedule the bill for a committee discussion or vote.

“It’s basically boiling down to whether or not the Senate Finance Committee and Senator (John Arthur) Smith wants to give it a hearing," said Democrat House Speaker Brian Egolf during an interview with reporters this week.
https://www.krqe.com/news/politics-government/nm-marijuana-legalization-effort-unlikely-to-pass-in-2019-session/1853428170

But while that passed, New Mexico still could become one of the latest states to legalize marijuana, joining others like California, Washington, and Colorado. While pro-legalization advocates were defeated this time, there’s hope that it will pass after next year’s election.

Lawmakers can expect to take up a proposal next year to make New Mexico the 11th state in the nation to legalize recreational marijuana.

Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham said she will add the issue to the agenda of the 2020 legislative session.

It’s a 30-day session, so the governor has some power to set the agenda.

A bipartisan proposal to legalize recreational cannabis through state-run stores narrowly won House approval this year but stalled in the Senate. It was the first time a recreational marijuana bill passed a chamber of the state Legislature.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1292850/recreational-marijuana-will-be-back-in-2020-session.html

So what would going to a state run marijuana store look like? It would look like your stores that you see in states like Colorado and California, where they have everything from different blends of marijuana, to chocolate and candy edibles of different varieties. But in a state run store, weed would be taxed just like any other drug.

New Mexico would become the first U.S. state to set up its own government-operated marijuana stores and subsidize medical cannabis for the poor under a bill brokered between Republicans and Democrats, as a new wave of states weighs legislation that would legalize recreational sales and consumption.

The idea for state-run pot shops comes from a trio of GOP state senators who broke with local Republican Party orthodoxy to embrace legal marijuana with a decidedly big-government approach that would have the state directly oversee most sales — and require that marijuana consumers carry receipts of purchase or confront penalties.

Those provisions were sown into Democrat-sponsored legislation that contains currents of social justice, including a provision to subsidize medical cannabis for poor people with “debilitating medical conditions” who might not otherwise be able to afford treatment. Tax dollars from recreational marijuana sales would fund employment and counseling programs in communities “disproportionately affected by past federal and state drug policies,” including training to enter the marijuana sector.
https://www.governing.com/topics/finance/State-Run-Pot-Shops-Bill-Could-Make-New-Mexico-First-in-the-US.html

However, even as marijuana and marijuana culture is becoming more and more legal by the day, there’s still an illegal side to it. In fact what is that like working on both sides of the spectrum? We go to Santa Ana, California, where there is an abundance of legalized marijuana, but the shady side of the business still runs rampant.

Technically, the marijuana shops in Santa Ana and Costa Mesa are on opposite sides of the law.

Santa Ana allows cannabis retailing, so the city welcomes and collects tax money from some 18 licensed cannabis stores in the city’s boundaries. Costa Mesa doesn’t, and it would like to shut down the eight rogue shops in town that are selling weed in defiance of state and local law.

But the distinction between many of these shops — and between legal and illegal marijuana shops throughout Southern California — is far from black and white.

Many illicit shops sell products also offered in legal shops, even though licensed cannabis farmers, manufacturers and distributors can’t legally peddle their goods in unlicensed shops.

Some of the underground shops are owned by people who also have stakes in legal stores, with the owners using a complex scheme of limited partnerships and proxy owners — sometimes called “go to jail guys” — to hide their dual roles.
https://www.ocregister.com/2019/03/15/legal-illegal-some-players-still-work-both-sides-of-state-marijuana-industry/

Legal or illegal, marijuana is more popular than ever and it looks to sweep the country in the 2020 elections as one of the biggest issues of the day. What’s happening now is just the begging, expect big things in the future. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Atlanta, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! When a story involving religion so dominates a news cycle we have to talk about it, because that’s what we are here for. Now, we’ve traditionally avoided talking about the horrible abuse scandals in the Catholic Church, because my employers say that you can’t joke about tragedy like that. But when the story involving a joke aimed at the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal draws scorn from both sides, how do we address it? And Saturday Night Live is a show that is under fire from republicans and religious folks who claim the show doesn’t represent their values. Now does everything? Well the Catholic Church can go fuck itself, that much is true. But what did Pete Davidson say, exactly?

Pete Davidson is in hot water for making a controversial joke about the Catholic Church on "Saturday Night Live."

"If you support the Catholic Church, isn't that the same thing as, like, being an R. Kelly fan?" Davidson asks. "I don't really see the difference, only one's music is significantly better."

But the remark wasn't funny to the Church's Diocese of Brooklyn, which is now demanding a public apology from the series.

“The mockery of this difficult time in the Church’s history serves no purpose," the lengthy statement from the Diocese of Brooklyn read in part. "The clergy sex abuse crisis is shameful, and no one should ever get a laugh at the expense of the victims who have suffered irreparably. The Diocese of Brooklyn strives every day to ensure that sexual abuse by clergy never happens again."

The statement concludes: "The insensitivity of the writers, producers, and the cast of 'SNL' around this painful subject is alarming."

Neither Davidson nor "SNL" have responded to the Church's comments.
https://www.insideedition.com/pete-davidson-hot-water-catholic-church-over-sex-abuse-jokes-51349

Yeah so… indulge me for a minute here, my fair congregation. R. Kelly is a very ungodly man who committed a lot of very SAYNFUL and very unlawful acts and is someone who is probably going to jail for a very long time. But he’s not a Catholic priest. So he can’t face Vatican justice, which is he’ll just get moved to another city. But Mr. Davidson brings up a good point! I mean really, are we shocked at Catholic church jokes at this point? They are, but I don’t think we are!

Documentaries containing detailed sex abuse allegations against R. Kelly and Michael Jackson have shaken the foundations of the music industry, and last weekend's Saturday Night Live addressed the fallout in a "Weekend Update" segment featuring Pete Davidson.

Davidson began his segment saying he believed the allegations against Kelly, who is facing ten counts of aggravated criminal sexual assault against four victims between 1998 and 2010. "This guy is a monster, and he should go to jail forever," Davidson said. He then went on to compare Kelly's diehard fandom to the Catholic Church, an institution which continues to faces allegations of systemic child abuse. “If you support the Catholic church, isn’t that the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference — only one’s music is significantly better.”

His monologue riffed on the difficulties in canceling figures as important to the culture as Kelly and Jackson, and offered an amusing fix:

“Pretending these people never existed is maybe not the solution. The rule should be…you could appreciate their work, but you only if you admit what they did. You can buy a Mustang, but you have to say, ‘Henry Ford hated the Jews’ as you buckle in. The full sentence should be ‘Mark Wahlberg beat up an old Asian dude, and I would like one ticket to Daddy’s Home 3 please.’ Because if it’s that important to you, at least own it. I don’t ever need to see a Kevin Spacey movie again but if the CEO of Swisher Sweets turns out to be a cannibal, I can’t just change my whole life.”
https://www.thefader.com/2019/03/11/saturday-night-live-pete-davidson-r-kelly-catholic-church

By the way, how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them? Can I get an amen??? Yes, should Saturday Night Live and Pete Davidson apologize for their jokes? Should any comedian apologize for their material? If they did, we in the comedy profession would all be out of a job! But the humorless, who often don’t get the joke, force the people who have a sense of humor to apologize.

The past six months have been eventful for “Saturday Night Live” cast member Pete Davidson. From the coverage of his relationship and breakup with pop singer Ariana Grande to comments mocking a veteran running for Congress to an Instagram post that suggested he is suicidal, the 25-year-old has made headlines in the New York Times and PerezHilton.com.

Davidson on Saturday drew more attention for comments deemed offensive by the Roman Catholic Church.

During a “Saturday Night Live” Weekend Update segment, Davidson discussed the similarities between singer R. Kelly’s sexual abuse case and the Catholic Church’s history of sexual abuse scandals.

“If you support the Catholic Church, isn’t that like the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference, except for one’s music is significantly better,” Davidson said.

In a statement Monday, the Diocese of Brooklyn demanded “an immediate public apology from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and NBC after Saturday night’s disgraceful and offensive skit.”
http://en.brinkwire.com/news/catholic-church-calls-for-apology-from-snl-after-pete-davidson-joke/

And neither do we! But really, why is the Catholic Church so invested in this? And I mean really, they have access to the internet, have they ever done a search for themselves? Oh, we have, good sir! And we can rest assured that Mr. Davidson’s joke is relatively tame compared to some of those out there that we’ve seen!

After Pete Davidson compared the Catholic Church to R. Kelly on last week’s Saturday Night Live, Church leaders — including Pope Francis — demanded a public apology. “Apparently, the only acceptable bias these days is against the Catholic Church,” they said in a statement.

It’s ironic that the Church — which has long opposed liberal policies like promoting LGBTQ rights and a woman’s right to choose — is suddenly up in arms over Pete Davidson’s use of free speech. They had no problem with free speech when the Pope claimed the institution of the family was under attack by marriage equality advocates, for which the LGBTQ community never got an apology.

In its overblown response, the Church tries to portray itself as the victim. We’re supposed to believe Davidson’s joke about the Church’s long history of covering up sexual abuse was made on the basis of some “bias.”

This purported bias isn’t even against Catholics, but against the Church. That’s right, we’re supposed to feel bad for a corrupt, monolithic institution that refuses to acknowledge its own biases against anyone who isn’t a proper, cisgender, heterosexual Catholic.
https://oberlinreview.org/18332/opinions/the-catholic-church-doesnt-deserve-an-apology/

Yes, their souls will most likely be eaten!!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace!!! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]NO!!!!
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OMG!!! Instagram went down this week! What are you crazy out of your minds???? AHHH!!!! I cant go five minutes without getting likes! You might be the type of person who wants to catalog and share everything online that’s ever been shared before, but some things are just not meant to be shared. Like your restaurant bathroom experience. We do not need to see pictures of you in the restroom! Stop it, people. Just stop it. I don’t know about you, but I am of the male gender. Shocking, I know. But as a man, I have been in some stank ass bathrooms in my life. Usually, my first thought is not to hang around, but to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. But thanks to selfie culture, we now have to worry about idiots hanging around and posing for pictures in front of mirrors. This has gone completely berserk! Yes, people are hanging around bathrooms and taking pictures to get likes on Instagram. And really, stop it people, just stop it!

The New York City restaurant Motel Morris, which opened its doors last April, closely resembles a 1950s motel. Tamara McCarthy, who owns the restaurant with her husband and a childhood friend, wanted patrons to feel like they were sitting in a classic American diner. A graphic designer, McCarthy expected customers would be enamored of the old-school touches like authentic family photos on the walls, vintage diner plates and napkins, and dishes like “meatloaf and mash.” Instead, she was surprised to find that they were the most taken with its bathroom.

She told me that a few weeks after the restaurant opened, waitstaff began notifying her out of concern: People who went to the bathroom were taking their time.

“We believe some people didn’t even have to go to the bathroom but just wanted to stay inside and take photos,” she says with a laugh.

McCarthy had designed the bathroom to look it belonged in someone’s grandmother’s house five decades ago. It’s completely covered in floral wallpaper and pink tile, and features pink props like vintage motel lounge chairs, an old hair dryer, and a mounted telephone, courtesy of a bartender who likes to collect old trinkets.
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/3/18159301/bathrooms-for-instagram-luxury-bathrooms

No people!! Stop it!!! We don’t need bathroom selfies, OK? This is one trend that really needs to go away and go away now. And this trend has really got to chafe restaurant owners because now they’re struggling to keep up the design of their bathrooms in order to make them “Instagram-worthy”, whatever that is, to attract customers.

There is a new brand of customer moving the restaurant industry away from function over form; guests who want a photographable moment — even in the rest room.

For many restaurants, this has resulted in a wave of experiential restrooms that have achieved Instagram fame — sometimes outshining the restaurant’s food, drink or dining room — and designers have taken note.

At the vegan fast-casual concept By Chloe, based in New York, for example, the design of restaurants has been embraced as a key point of differentiation.

“We noticed that some vegan restaurants had a signature look with more of a darker color scheme and woodsy feel to them, and we wanted to be different,” said founder Samantha Wasser.

Focusing on each location individually rather than multiplying their original design across all units, Wasser said she “wants the bathrooms to have a ‘wow’ moment.

“For each bathroom, we select two different wallpapers — one for the walls, one for the ceiling — and not one bathroom has ever been the same,” she said.
https://www.restaurant-hospitality.com/design/setting-instagram-stage-restroom

Yeah… remember the simpler times when people used to go into a bathroom and I don’t know… actually use it? And the worst thing we had to endure was running out of toilet paper? Now we have to deal with people posing for selfies. And it gets worse! So much worse! If you really want to see who the most obnoxious people in the restaurant are, you don’t need to go any further than New York City to see where this is heading.

Do you have an appetite for Social Media?

In a city known for its dearth of high-end red meat options, you might think the arrival of a new luxury steakhouse would be big news. But at the just opened downtown location of Boston Chops, the real star may well turn out to be the $10,000 custom furniture the owners are calling “the first and only Instagram table in the country.”

Created and built exclusively for the restaurant, the table boasts customizable features including moveable arm lights, adjustable light intensities and adjustable color temperature settings. To make sure they got it right, owners Chris Coombs and Brian Piccini met with social media “influencers,” (though to be honest, most of the ones I’ve met traveling don’t influence anyone), architects and photographers to create a space where anyone wanting to post food photos on social media will get the perfect picture every time. The table is available for reservation by request, and there are also “Instagrammable moments” throughout the establishment that include design components, art, signs, and backgrounds for photos that have all been made for social media.

“Social media is a big part of the dining scene today and we didn’t have to think about it when we opened Boston Chops South End five years ago,” said Coombs (via release). “Now, it is imperative that photos of restaurant interior and food are beautiful when they are posted online by influencers. It is a great marketing tool for people to see our food, décor and cocktails and hopefully entice them to check it out for themselves.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/larryolmsted/2018/06/03/first-restaurant-instagram-table-in-u-s-opens/#48782a10263a

Just go and eat the food damn it! Not everything needs to be a documented experience! Argh, fuck Instagram. Oh and I almost forgot, that reminds me – be sure to follow the new Top 10 Instagram account at @10Idiots! And by the way, this has caused people to channel their inner George Costanza and start actually reviewing the bathrooms at restaurants. Now this is a trend I can get behind!

You feel flush, so you want to dine out. You desire a restaurant that serves excellent food and provides hospitable service.

But you also deserve a clean bathroom.

The City of Boston publicizes health inspection data, so it’s easy enough to find reports of dirty kitchens or untended food. But what about toilets? A clean, soothing restroom can make a meal complete — just as a filthy one can lead a customer to question what else might be left to chance.

Enter Toilets of Boston, a new Instagram account that meticulously ranks local loos on a five-point scale for factors including cleanliness, ambiance, and utilities. Each post features a photo of the toilet in question, as well as a wider shot of the lavatory’s atmosphere (or lack thereof). The account focuses on restaurants, with an occasional detour to a spa or tourist attraction.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/food-dining/2018/09/10/toilets-boston-instagram-ranks-local-restaurant-loos-you-don-have/fl26bCx0mAdRI94JRZE6dJ/story.html

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I want to start with this story out of South Carolina where a guy took his Taco Bell order just a little too seriously. Look, look. We travel a lot here and as such we eat a lot of fast food. I know that you have a problem when somebody fails to get your order right. I get that. What I don’t get… do we really need this guy walking behind the counter and making his own food? This is about as insane as someone calling 911 because McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets.

According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”

The man, however, was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way,” according to a police report.

The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”

The Taco Bell employee said the suspect “made himself another Mexican pizza and subsequently left the store and premises.” The man, the worker said, “was angry and upset throughout his time in the facility” and used foul language in response to her repeated demands to leave the Taco Bell.
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/man-storms-taco-bell-709254

Next up, it’s 5:00 somewhere, people. So we go to my home state of California for this story. This happened at a Target in San Jorquin. Yeah so here’s the thing – department store dressing rooms aren’t exactly made for hanging around in. And they’re definitely not made to drink in. I definitely wouldn’t be combining the two.

It’s always 5 o’clock somewhere — and for one woman, the right time for beer apparently occurred in a Target dressing room.

Elysia Johnson, 21, was arrested after she drank a six-pack of beer in a Target dressing room in California on Saturday, police say.

According to Lathrop Police Services, Johnson entered Target around 3:30 p.m. and placed several items in a shopping cart and basket.

Johnson walked around the store, grabbed a six-pack of Stella Artois beer, and headed to the dressing room.

For over an hour, cops say, she made the dressing room her personal bar and drank the entire six-pack of beer.
https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-woman-arrested-drinking-beer-target-dressing-20190311-story.html

Next up – we go to Minneapolis for this story. Look, we get trying to be a good Samaritan here. But in this case it was the case of a good Samaritan gone horribly, horribly wrong. And by the way I will take this opportunity to say – “fuck the My Pillow guy”.

A Good Samaritan thought they were potentially saving someone’s life in Jordan, Minnesota this week.

However, all they wound up doing was preventing a piece of advertising from getting exposed to the elements.

Jordan Police said on Thursday that they received a rescue call from someone looking to facilitate assistance for a “deranged person standing outside in the cold hugging a pillow.”

Officers who responded to the welfare check noted the figure, which a caller said was standing motionless, wearing no coat.

Investigating officers discovered the person in question was really a life-size cardboard cutout of Mike Lindell, the CEO for local company MyPillow.
https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2019/03/01/deranged-person-holding-pillow-turns-out-to-be-cardboard-standee-of-mypillow-ceo/

That’s a good question! Don’t really have an answer for that one! Next up of course we can’t have a segment of “People Are Dumb” without mentioning our good friends Florida Man and Florida Woman, because you know the Sunshine State is *ALWAYS* batshit fucking crazy. And remember that show from a few years back called “Trading Spouse” and that one crazy woman who claimed that everything was ungodly? Well, this woman might be her cousin.

A woman was arrested after stealing an SUV from an Ace Rent-a-Car.

WJXT reports that Gardina McCullough, 23 appeared in court Friday morning on car theft charges, with a bond set at $15,003.

McCullough was arrested after stealing a Toyota RAV4 from an Ace Rent-A-Car.

She was found less than a mile away, hiding at a hotel.

On the scene, McCullough told a local news station, "Demons told me to do it...I didn't take it, demons took it."
https://abc7ny.com/florida-woman-claims-demons-told-her-to-steal-rental-car/5180081/

Yeah neither do we! Finally this week, remember that Samuel L. Jackson movie “Snakes On A Plane” from a few years back? Yeah neither do we. But how… who… what… how does this woman fly from Australia to Scotland without knowing that a snake is in her shoe??? Just… WTF???

'Snake on a plane goes 9,300 miles from Australia to Scotland in woman's shoe.' Holidaymaker shocked to see stowaway python in her slip-ons on return from Queensland. The Guardian, Feb. 25, 2019. As souvenirs go, it is a unique one. A woman has returned to Scotland from a holiday in Australia to discover a stowaway snake hidden in one of her shoes. In an incident that will confirm the worst fears of visitors to Australia, Moira Boxall unpacked her luggage after the more than 9,300-mile journey from Queensland to find the small and very much alive creature curled up in her slip-ons. It even shed its skin during its voyage in her footwear. The resilient reptile – later identified as a non-venomous spotted python, a breed commonly kept as a pet – travelled safely from Mackay to Glasgow, reported the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/feb/25/snake-plane-australia-scotland-shoe

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 2
[br] [/font] [br]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to the Round 1 Week 2 action! We’re here in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center, for all the 1st round action action action!!! To recap last week, Oregon stunned the crowd with their last second 3 pointer against favorites Idaho, while Kentucky easily routed Maine by a whopping 24 points to advance to the Batshit finals! This week it’s a rematch from last year as the juggernaut of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, Wisconsin, takes on perennial favorites Nevada (hey! That’s where we are!) in a showdown to see who can go for broke. Meanwhile in match #2, we are going to see a battle of the Bible Thumpers as long time conference favorite Indiana takes on veteran Mississippi to see who can be the king of the Jesus crowd! Who will win and who will go home? We go live to the action! Also time to break out those brackets!

[font size="4"]Wisconsin Vs Nevada[/font]

[font size="4"]Wisconsin[/font]

The state known as America’s Dairyland certainly needs no introduction. Their credentials for being the reigning king of the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference are unparalleled. Much of the state including their state level officials are sponsored by the various farming corporations that are there, as well as their senators including former senator Paul Ryan. But most recently this state has been in the news a lot because they got Art Of The Deal’d by the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Foxconn is coming, you guys! And yes, those groans are perfectly acceptable. Because it’s *THAT* Foxconn – the company responsible for things like worker suicide nets! Welcome to your new nightmare, Wisconsin!

Foxconn Technology Group said Monday that the next phases of construction on its announced flat-screen plant in Racine County will begin by this summer.

The plant — a “Gen 6” liquid crystal display panel factory, or “fab” — will begin production in the fourth quarter of 2020, the company said.

The announcement follows talks last week between state and local officials and Louis Woo, special assistant to Foxconn founder and CEO Terry Gou.

Woo’s visit to Wisconsin came six weeks after reports that Foxconn might not locate a factory in Mount Pleasant after all — reports that prompted President Donald Trump to contact Gou, with the company on Feb. 1 subsequently renewing its earlier pledge to build a manufacturing plant.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2019/03/18/foxconn-says-move-forward-flat-screen-factory-summer/3202103002/

That is a good point, Mr. Burns! So yeah after months and a year of back and forth “will they or wont they”, Wisconsin is finally seeing the light on Foxconn. And that’s not necessarily a good thing given Foxconn’s human rights violations! So just how bad will this deal get?

Wisconsin policymakers have a vexing challenge this session: what should they do about the Incredible Shrinking Foxconn project? It’s especially a problem for Republican legislators because they not only approved the huge subsidies for Foxconn, but they also passed a bill during the lame duck session that gives themselves control of the Wisconsin Economic Development Corporation (WEDC) for the next couple of years. With that power comes increased responsibility for the difficult Foxconn situation.

Mounting evidence creates serious doubts that Foxconn will build a factory or other sort of enterprise in Racine County that comes anywhere close to the employment levels that Foxconn and the project’s backers promised. Some have suggested that the best thing for state taxpayers might be for Foxconn to pull the plug on the deal, but in light of the substantial public and private expenditures that have been made, efforts will presumably be made to keep the project alive.

As state and local policymakers and the general public consider the options, it’s important to understand the terms of the deal Wisconsin entered into with Foxconn. Here are five key issues to be aware of regarding the state’s contract with Foxconn:
https://urbanmilwaukee.com/2019/02/23/wisconsin-budget-5-key-problems-with-foxconn-contract/

[font size="4"]Nevada[/font]

The gambling industry needs no introduction as well, and they were busy in the off season adding some fresh young talent who will help them tank their economy. Yes, the state may be called “The Silver State” but there’s a serious lack of silver and gold in the state that gave us Las Vegas and such movies as The Hangover, Ocean’s 11, Showgirls, Rat Race, Dodgeball, and Honeymoon In Vegas. You might scream “Viva Las Vegas” at the top of your lungs, but as you leave, you will be going for broke, just as the state itself is doing!

Legislative budget committee members questioned Nevada school officials Tuesday on plans to tie $54 million to revenue from the tax on recreational marijuana purchases that could fluctuate as more states legalize sales.

Lawmakers from the Senate and Assembly budget committees also got a top-level review of the two-year, $3.2 billion basic K-12 schools budget, including proposed 2 percent merit pay increases and 3 percent cost-of-living increases for teachers and other employees, as well as detail on plans to nearly double spending on a program to help struggling students.

School safety is a new standalone budget category. It follows on recommendations of a task force whose final report was issued in November and covers spending in five areas: school social workers, safety resource/police officers; building safety enhancements, new learning programs for social and emotional development, and staff support. The overall budget is about $76 million over two years, reflecting $22.4 million now spent on school social workers and $54 million in new spending.

“What we hope you see is that this is a multi-tiered approach to school safety that looks at prevention, intervention and recovery very holistically,” Christy McGill, director of the Nevada schools’ Office for a Safe and Respectful Learning Environment, told lawmakers.

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/2019-legislature/officials-ask-if-marijuana-taxes-can-sustain-54m-for-nevada-school-safety-1600805/

Yes the state is currently so poor that they are actively trying to seek taxes from the legalization of marijuana to pay for the public schools. Oh man can you imagine getting stoned in Vegas legally? It will be like the Hangover but a million times worse! Although if times really get tough, Nevada does have Las Vegas and the Super Bowl. At least we know where the money goes!

The lowest-scoring game in Super Bowl history might produce the highest betting handle ever at Nevada sportsbooks.

A late flurry of money poured in on the Rams and Patriots before Super Bowl LIII, including at least three $1 million-plus wagers, giving bookmakers reason to believe the total amount wagered in the state could eclipse last year’s record of $158.6 million.

“The handle is going to be up there,” MGM Resorts sportsbook director Jay Rood said Sunday night after New England’s 13-3 win over Los Angeles.

“It will probably be a 10 percent increase. If every (other book) was pacing the same way as us, it should set a record.”

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/betting/books-expect-record-handle-from-lowest-scoring-super-bowl-1589194/

[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer, Wisconsin handily knocks off Nevada by a final score of 67 – 59. Sorry, Silver State, you will just have to beef up your rotation for next year!

[font size="4"]Indiana Vs Oklahoma[/font]

[font size="4"]Indiana[/font]

The Hoosier State is back for their second consecutive year proudly representing the Family Values Conference! In this conference, you can be guaranteed that the Bible will be thumped louder and harder than just about any other state in the union. And it reflects in the politicians that they vote for both on the state and the national level. It’s the state that gave us current Vice President and the guy who secretly asks if it puts the lotion in the basket, Mike Pence! And how does the Hoosier State make its’ claim to fame as the state where the most Jesus freaks reside? Well, just take a look at how difficult it is to buy booze.

Two influential Indiana Republicans have bought into a business whose lobby has for years kept cold beer out of grocery stores and other retail outlets, a move that is raising conflict-of-interest questions involving the industry's clout at the Statehouse.

The package liquor store lobby has successfully convinced lawmakers to take actions in its favor, most notably stopping the expansion of cold beer sales to grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies, despite the fact polls have consistently shown most Hoosiers want that measure to pass.

Kyle Hupfer, the state GOP chairman, and Nate Feltman, commerce secretary under former Gov. Mitch Daniels and co-owner of the Indianapolis Business Journal, have joined a venture as minority partners with Indiana Liquor Group to purchase Save-on Liquor, a chain of 31 stores in north-central Indiana. They and Republican lawmakers say the purchase won't create an uneven playing field in the General Assembly.

While it's perfectly legal in Indiana for party officials such as Hupfer to have private investments, industry leaders and political experts say the fear is Republican lawmakers will vote for legislation in ways that would help their political allies.

Read more: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2019/02/03/where-can-you-buy-cold-beer-indiana-fears-deepen-wont-grocery-stores/2730802002/

And by the way in case you’re wondering about Indiana’s hardcore Trumpism, well, it’s beginning to tread heavily into the “insane” category. And really on this one, where’s Jake and Elwood when you need them?

Once again, a pack of high schoolers has been caught giving what appears to be the Nazi salute and posting the picture to social media, reports the Indianapolis Star.

The students appear to attend Zionsville Community High School, which is investigating the incident. The photo was shot in the school auditorium and several of the teenagers are wearing Zionsville jerseys, the “Rumblin’ Bumblers” soccer team.

A student sent the photo to a teacher, who alerted the school superintendent Scott Robison. Robison called the picture “sickening.”

“Our school community’s efforts to foster cultural understanding will proceed, though they are set back mightily by this repugnant image,” Robison added.

Read more: https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2019/01/sickening-new-photo-emerges-of-indiana-high-school-boys-giving-nazi-salute/

[font size="4"]Mississippi[/font]

Of course Mississippi’s state flag is a nod to the Confederacy. Yes, the Magnolia State is no stranger to hardcore religion and even harder core religious laws. The Magnolia State may be home to some elite universities, but they’re also home to some hardcore religion, hardcore racism, and extreme totalitarianism. In fact, Mississippi’s uber-religious want to rule this country with an iron fist, and the Trump administration has practically given them a free backstage pass to pull strings from inside the White House. Just how old school is the mighty Mississippi? Well they’re bringing back a medieval style “do not pass go” for abortions!

Mississippi is trying to revive one the most restrictive abortion laws in the nation.

The state's Democratic attorney general, Jim Hood, filed a notice of appeal Monday in support of a Mississippi law that would ban most abortions after 15 weeks.

The law was signed in March by Republican Gov. Phil Bryant, and the state's only abortion clinic immediately sued the state. U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves issued a temporary injunction the next day to prevent the state from enforcing the law. Then he issued a more extensive ruling Nov. 20, finding that the law "unequivocally" violates women's constitutional rights.

Hood will ask the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to overturn Reeves' decision about the constitutionality of the law. Hood has said other federal circuits have reviewed laws banning abortion at 15 to 20 weeks, but the 5th U.S. Circuit hasn't yet reviewed such a case.
https://hosted.ap.org/dailycourier/article/151787c6a0bc4594938e3ed567dfd2b5/mississippi-appeal-seeks-revive-15-week-abortion-ban

Thank you Moe! They clearly don’t! And by the way in case you’re wondering what kind of family values the Magnolia State brings to the table, well, they bring some hardcore racism and old school confederate values! Yes, they still hang on to the confederacy. Where’s General Cartman when you need him?

Members of Confederate 901 and The Hiwaymen say they are marching to "draw a line in the sand" on Saturday against the university for the removal of Confederate symbols. The groups are calling the event the Mississippi Stands Rally. George "K-Rack" Johnson is with Confederate 901. In a Facebook Live video, Johnson says that students, faculty, and staff at the university should not be afraid that they are coming to town.

“We’re not coming to Oxford or the university to cause any trouble,” said Johnson. “We’re trying to just come in there and show that there’s lots of people throughout the state of Mississippi and the South that still believe and support their southern pride, and their history, and their heritage.”

Johnson also says there is no evidence that the pro-Confederate supporters are racist or affiliated with white supremacist groups.

Jody Owens is with the Southern Poverty Law Center. The nonprofit organization focuses on erasing hate and teaching tolerance. Owens says it's sad that a group will come to a place in Mississippi with such a deep history of racial inequity and hatred and protest about Confederate monuments.

Read more: http://www.mpbonline.org/blogs/news/2019/02/22/pro-confederate-groups-planning-rally-at-the-university-of-mississippi/

[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Ooh this was a tough one but in the end Mississippi stunned Indiana in a double overtime thriller that has one of the highest scoring rounds of the tournament so far! Final score – 101 – 93. Mississippimoves on, Indiana goes home!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3 and we’re live at the home of the Utah Jazz, the Navint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City for all the action! It’s a Fiscal Irresponsibility faceoff as Michigan goes for broke against hot newcomer Alaska, while the reigning champion Florida takes on conference favorite Montana in a Gun Nut duel to the death! Who will win and who will go home? Find out!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Struts[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Britain, you can see them on tour this summer including stops at the Kentucky Derby on May 2nd and May 4th at the Shaky Knees Festival. Their latest album is called “Young And Dangerous”. Playing their song “Body Talks”, give it up for The Struts!

Thank you Atlanta! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We’re off to Tampa next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Punchline Comedy Club, Atlanta, GA
Special Thanks To: Punchline Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: University Of Georgia Choir Club
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holdersArticles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
The Struts Appear Courtesy Of: Interscope Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

March 16, 2019

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Worst Rose Parade float ever!!!!

*audience laughs and applauds*

This week - the Top 10 is live from Atlanta! We tell you about Paul Manfort's 16 crimes, delve deep into the College Cheating Scandal, find out who's responsible for the 737 Max 8 SNAFU, find out what's up with Jexodus, tell you about reactions to the Christchurch shooting, ask how JD & The Straight Shot is still a thing, and tell you why you should stop posting pictures of your restaurant bathroom experience on Instagram. Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at what would happen if states like New Mexico begin running state run marijuana stores and what that means for the future of legalized weed. Hey it's not cool if the man does it! Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell the Catholic Church where they can stick it in their fight against SNL's Pete Davidson. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course People Are Dumb. And our quest to find the Stupidest State continues with Round 1 Week 2! We're live in Las Vegas for the action as a rematch from last year pits juggernaut Wisconsin going for broke against Nevada's gambling industry, while Alabama takes on Oklahoma in a Family Values Faceoff! Plus we have some live music from the Struts!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion

March 13, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spiderverse Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please ask me to stop reviewing your updated privacy policy, because we both know that ain't happening. We are back everybody! And hey it’s time for Stupidest State, but I didn’t make that obvious or anything! So let’s talk about Captain Marvel for a minute. How great was that movie? But what I really want to talk about is their tribute to the late, great Stan Lee. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you might want to skip over this part, because here be spoilers ahead. That was brilliant the way they edited the seemingly never ending Marvel Studios logo that appears before the movie to be all footage of the hundreds of Stan Lee cameos over the years. But the real awesome thing they dropped into the movie was the final Stan Lee cameo where he’s sitting on a bus reading something. But what is he reading? He’s reading the script for the 1996 Kevin Smith comedy Mallrats. Yes, he’s reading the script for the movie that is arguably credited with the first Stan Lee cameo! So does that mean that Jay & Silent Bob exist in the movies themselves??? Or do they exist as movies within the movies? That is definitely the most meta that the Marvel movies have been to date. But really when you do go see it, be sure to catch that as it’s a very cool moment in the MCU and the Kevin Smith universe. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into a subject that Americans love to hate – robodialers! And he beats the FCC at their own game!

Hey everyone, the Wheel Of Corruption is back!! Yay!!! And this time we’re doing something a bit different and celebrating one of my favorite movies of last year, and the winner for Best Animated Picture, Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse! Because there’s a lot of horrific sex crimes this week and it’s going to get real dark real fast.In the first spot this week is GOP Pedophiles (1) because Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest has opened up a massive can of worms involving a super secret pedophile ring in Florida that shouldn’t have been opened. It’s Qanon come to life! Taking the 2nd slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and he took a disaster surveying trip to Alabama, and well, it was quite the disaster itself. For the third slot this week, is also Donald Trump (3). And if you saw the news this week, he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” and his explanation for it is truly astounding. In the fourth slot this week we have to talk about two different documentaries – Leaving Neverland and Surviving R. Kelly, and whew, there’s a lot to unpack from both of them. For the 5th slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5), and this week we’re going to talk about getting scammed on Go Fund Me, and why you should take precaution before jumping in after a couple is going to jail after pulling off an epic homeless scam that will make things that much worse for those less fortunate. In the number 6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and the unholy Dark One is signing his name on the holy book, is that OK? Well, our resident pastor will examine both sides of the issue and allow you to draw your own conclusions! In the number 7 slot this week, we have a brand new “Beating A Dead Horse” – can Trump’s favorite stripper Stormy Daniels pull off a live standup comedy act? We will beat it (**DING**) to the ground to find out! Taking the 8th slot this week is a new “How Is This Still A Thing” and we are going to find out why Jared Kushner’s security clearance (8) is still a thing! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is “I Need A Drink” and in light of the marriage proposal to Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, we got to talk about the reigning king of jealous boyfriends, Jose Canseco, because, whew, he crazy. Finally this week it's the most wonderful time of the year! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here and we’re live in Phoenix for the Round 1 Week 1 (10) kick off which puts Kentucky vs Maine in the Batshit Conference, while tournament newcomers Idaho and Oregon bring their big guns to the dance - both literally and figuratively! Plus we have some live music from a great band from Long Beach – Rival Sons are here! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Greedy Old Perverts
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Spiderman
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s do this thing! Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… clip without context!

Funny because I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Sex. Yeah so I don’t know if you’ve been following the Chinese Madam story out of Miami but it’s certifiably insane and quite possibly the most hypocritical thing that the GOP has ever done since getting Bill Clinton impeached for a sex crime. Well, it seems that the tables have turned and now the GOP is the one in the hot seat. Take that statement where you want. It started when Robert Kraft got busted for soliciting prostitutes while in Miami (see: Idiots #6-8 ). But now it’s spiraled out of control. Here’s what is happening so far.

Famed attorney Alan Dershowitz was accused of involvement in billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex-trafficking ring by an attorney for one of Epstein’s victims, who claimed in federal court on Wednesday that the release of sealed documents will prove it.

Paul Cassell, who represents Virginia Roberts Giuffre, told the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit that the testimony of other witnesses will show Dershowitz’s involvement in the alleged trafficking of “his close friend Jeffrey Epstein.”

“When all the records come out it will show that Epstein and [Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine] Maxwell were trafficking girls to the benefit of his friends, including Mr. Dershowitz,” Cassell said in oral arguments for a case filed by the Miami Herald to unseal a collection of court documents relating to Giuffre’s now settled lawsuit against Maxwell.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/jeffrey-epstein-alan-dershowitz-and-pals-accused-of-sex-trafficking-ring

Yes holy shit indeed! So three huge GOP celebrities – Jeffrey Epstein, Alan Dershowitz, and Robert Guiffre, are all busted and implicated in this thing. And hey wait a minute! They all have ties to the Trump administration! Holy shit, it’s the Qanon theory come to life! Maybe they are running a sex ring out of the basement of a DC pizza parlor! And guess what? It goes all the way to Trump himself!

Seated at a round table littered with party favors and the paper-cutout footballs that have become tradition at his annual Super Bowl Watch Party, President Donald Trump cheered the New England Patriots and his longtime friend, team owner Robert Kraft, to victory over the Los Angeles Rams on Feb. 3.

Sometime during the party at Trump’s West Palm Beach country club, the president turned in his chair to look over his right shoulder, smiling for a photo with two women at a table behind him.

The woman who snapped the blurry Super Bowl selfie with the president was Li Yang, 45, a self-made entrepreneur from China who started a chain of Asian day spas in South Florida. Over the years, these establishments — many of which operate under the name Tokyo Day Spas — have gained a reputation for offering sexual services.

Nineteen days after Trump and Yang posed together while rooting for the Patriots, authorities would charge Kraft with soliciting prostitution at a spa in Jupiter that Yang had founded more than a decade earlier.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article227186429.html

Yeah so while BFF 4 life Kraft was busy winning the Super Bowl, Trump was taking a selfie with the same Miami Madam that he would later get busted for! No wonder members of the Patriots don’t want to go to the White House. Especially knowing what kind of food they’ll be served! So what’s the connection to Trump you might ask? Well, they’re only selling trade secrets to international executives.

After revelations earlier on Saturday that Li “Cindy” Yang, the founder of a Florida “massage” spa chain now linked to an alleged sex trafficking operation, sold access to Donald Trump for Chinese businessmen, as The Inquisitr reported, one prominent expert on national security warned that the Yang-Trump connection poses a “massive blackmail risk.”

“It is a textbook story of how foreign actors gain leverage over senior officials,” wrote Carnegie Endowment scholar David Rothkopf in The Daily Beast.

The alleged sex-trafficking scandal first gained national attention in late February, when New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged with soliciting an act of prostitution from an employee of a “spa” in Jupiter, Florida, as The Inquisitr reported. Kraft was one of 25 men charged with paying for sex at the spa. He has pleaded not guilty to the charge.

Yang, 45, no longer owns the spa and has not been charged in the sex trafficking case. But her connection to the spa chain that was allegedly operating as a front for sex trafficking, together with her political influence-peddling of Chinese business with Trump and other top Republicans, poses a significant national security threat, according to Rothkopf and other experts.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5335154/trump-yang-chinese-intelligence-national-security-risk/

So if you want to know how deep this goes (*phrasing*), Trump might be accused of laundering secrets to Chinese executives at his Mar-A-Shithole resort. Yes, Trump is laundering secrets through a Chinese madam. How is this not bigger news? Again, phrasing. I think the moral of this story is don’t trust anyone with the last name Gong, because it will end badly for you.

The latest Trump political donor to draw controversy is Li Yang, a 45-year-old Florida entrepreneur from China who founded a chain of spas and massage parlors that included the one where New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft was recently busted for soliciting prostitution. She made the news this week when the Miami Herald reported that last month she had attended a Super Bowl viewing party at Donald Trump’s West Palm Beach golf club and had snapped a selfie with the president during the event. Though Yang no longer owns the spa Kraft allegedly visited, the newspaper noted that other massage parlors her family runs have “gained a reputation for offering sexual services.” (She told the newspaper she has never violated the law.) Beyond this sordid tale, there is another angle to the strange story of Yang: She runs an investment business that has offered to sell Chinese clients access to Trump and his family. And a website for the business—which includes numerous photos of Yang and her purported clients hobnobbing at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s private club in Palm Beach—suggests she had some success in doing so.

Yang, who goes by Cindy, and her husband, Zubin Gong, started GY US Investments LLC in 2017. The company describes itself on its website, which is mostly in Chinese, as an “international business consulting firm that provides public relations services to assist businesses in America to establish and expand their brand image in the modern Chinese marketplace.” But the firm notes that its services also address clients looking to make high-level connections in the United States. On a page displaying a photo of Mar-a-Lago, Yang’s company says its “activities for clients” have included providing them “the opportunity to interact with the president, the [American] Minister of Commerce and other political figures.” The company boasts it has “arranged taking photos with the President” and suggests it can set up a “White House and Capitol Hill Dinner.” (The same day the Herald story about Yang broke, the website stopped functioning.)
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2019/03/a-florida-massage-parlor-owner-has-been-selling-chinese-execs-access-to-trump-at-mar-a-lago/

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… 10,000. Cool, I win 10,000 of something! I still don’t know 10,000 of what though. It could be anything we’re not sure. Let’s spin it again! Donald Trump. So Trump is currently in some very deep shit right now, so what’s a guy to do to get some much needed publicity! I know! Let’s go to a disaster area and then take some photos with the people! That should get me in the news! Well like most things Trump does, it ended as poorly thought out as it began. Because Trump loves people who kiss his ass, and hates people who don’t. In fact – he ordered FEMA to give Alabama the “A+ treatment”.

President Donald Trump said he’s ordered the Federal Emergency Management Agency to give Alabama the “A Plus treatment” following a devastating tornado.

Tornadoes touched down in the southern United States on Sunday, the worst ripping through rural Alabama. The storms left at least 23 people dead, including three children, and destroyed more than 1,000 homes, The New York Times reports.

Sheriff Jay Jones of Lee County, Alabama described the destruction as “catastrophic” and said he expected the death toll to rise as search and rescue teams continue their efforts.

Trump tweeted on Monday morning that FEMA would provide “the A Plus treatment to the Great State of Alabama and the wonderful people who have been so devastated by the Tornadoes.”
http://fortune.com/2019/03/04/trump-fema-alabama/

That’s pretty much what we got here in California. As if he couldn’t be any more batshit crazy and self-centered offering special favors to states that voted for him is a new low. And it gets even lower too – wait until you see what our resident pastor has to talk about when we get to “Holy Shit” this week! So how much worse can it possibly get? Well… there might be even worse weather on the way and Trump probably visited at the wrong time.

Alabamians digging through the rubble of tornado devastation welcomed Friday's visit from President Donald Trump but braced for the threat of more severe weather in the next two days.

However, the danger is not as great as it was last weekend in eastern Alabama, CNN meteorologist Monica Garrett said.

Tornadoes devastated Lee County in eastern Alabama then, killing at least 23 people and injuring dozens. Ten twisters struck the state and about 37 hammered the Southeast on Sunday.

"A tornado is possible," Garrett said about this weekend. "But the bull's-eye is more to the west."
CNN meteorologist Dave Hennen said severe weather will stretch from northern Texas into eastern Oklahoma and western Arkansas from Friday afternoon till evening. The main threat will be damaging winds and an isolated tornado.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/08/us/alabama-tornadoes-friday-wxc/index.html

But my favorite thing about this trip was seeing #FakeMelania trending on Twitter through the whole weekend and that’s something that’s not easy to do! So what is the #FakeMelania conspiracy? Well it alleges that Trump and Melania are not getting along, which isn’t that far of a stretch, and he replaced her with someone that really, really looks like her. Again, not much of a stretch.

The Melania Trump “body double” made her latest appearance on Friday — at least according to Twitter users who revisited one of social media’s enduringly popular conspiracy theories when they saw photos of Mrs. Trump with her husband in Alabama, as Donald Trump visited the region where a series of deadly tornado strikes claimed the lives of 23 people earlier this week, as CNN reported.

The Melania “body double” conspiracy theory dates back to at least October of 2017, when photos circulated on Twitter that appeared to show the 48-year-old, Slovenia-born former fashion model appearing somewhat different in side-by-side photographs.

Conspiracy theories about Melania Trump’s true whereabouts got a boost in May of last year, when Melania Trump, for reasons that were never fully explained, disappeared from public view for nearly three weeks, an extraordinarily long time for a first lady to go without a public appearance, according to The Guardian.

During that time, as The Inquisitr noted, the “location” listing on the official Melania Trump Twitter account switched from Washington, D.C., to “New York,” sparking unsubstantiated theories that the first lady had left her husband and moved out of the White House, returning to live in New York City.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5332930/melania-trump-body-double-twitter/

Yes that’s right – it’s fake, mon. But Trump probably doesn’t know that, or care to know that. What does he care about? Trump cares about playing favorites. It’s like a child with multiple siblings wondering which one the parent thinks is the favorite. Yes it’s your worst nightmare come to life people, and Trump is playing us with this one! He loves Alabama, but he hates California.

President Donald Trump is being accused of playing favorites after he tweeted Monday morning that he directed FEMA to give Alabama the “A Plus” treatment for disaster relief while being slow to respond to the hurricane that hit Puerto Rico and threatening to withhold funds for the California wildfires.

Critics of the president suggested Trump was playing politics with disaster relief, noting that Alabama is a reliably Republican state while California is solidly blue and Puerto Rico is majority Democratic although the island does not have federal voting rights.

At least 23 people were killed in Sunday’s tornadoes in Lee County with search efforts continuing Monday.

Trump’s critics said his tweet suggested that areas of the country that do not support him, such as California and Puerto Rico, did not get A-plus treatment.

When Puerto Rico was battered by Hurricane Maria in 2017, a Category 5 storm that killed at least 2,975 people, the Trump administration was slammed for what was viewed as a slow response to help the island. The president also got in a feud with the mayor of San Juan, whom he blamed for the depth of the disaster:
https://www.al.com/news/2019/03/trump-accused-of-playing-favorites-with-alabama-a-plus-treatment-fema-tweet.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s one of our famous clips without context!

No! you don’t call someone you don’t like a pedophile just because you don’t like them! Just give the middle finger like a reasonable person and move on! Spin it again! Donald Trump. Before we get into this story, I have to play the clip first because it’s definitely Trump at his most exquisite.

Yeah so that happened. I couldn’t love this story more. Every day Trump is becoming more like Kevin from the Office. It’s just a matter of time before he spills a giant vat of chili all over the White House carpets. So in a page literally from Kevin Malone, he attempts to “save time” by using one less word! Gee, me think, why waste time saying many words when few do trick? Well this is one of those things where real life is stranger than fiction. Because things like this happen.

President Donald Trump called Apple CEO Tim Cook "Tim Apple" during a meeting at the White House on Wednesday.

Trump flubbed the head of Apple's name during the inaugural meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board to discuss the importance of technology in education. The meeting was held in the State Dining Room of the White House.

"We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple," Trump said as he sat next to Cook who had a paper name tag in front of him that said "Tim Cook."

It's not the first time Trump got a CEO's name wrong.

Last March, he called Lockheed Martin's CEO Marillyn Hewson "Marillyn Lockheed."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/03/06/tim-apple-president-trump-flubs-apple-ceo-tim-cooks-name/3087515002/

Really this is like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when Larry David referred to a woman in his phone as “Denise Handicapped”. Marilyn Lockheed? Tim Apple? I mean what’s next? Jeff Amazon? Bill Microsoft? Bill Clinton Foundation? I could do this all day! And here’s my favorite part. You know how much time Trump saved by doing that? He saved exactly 0.27 seconds. He’s got places to go and golf balls to hit, people!!!

President Donald Trump says he didn’t slip up when he referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as “Tim Apple” at a White House meeting.

Trump tweeted Monday: “I quickly referred to Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy way to save time & words. The Fake News was disparagingly all over this, & it became yet another bad Trump story!”

Trump made the comment last week. After the session, Cook altered his Twitter profile, replacing his last name with the Apple logo.

At a dinner for Republican National Committee donors at his Florida club Friday, Trump complained that his “Tim Apple” flub was “fake news,” said a person who heard them and spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss Trump’s remarks. Trump’s complaint was first reported by Axios.
https://www.apnews.com/f17486df9038489fba91c9974b26b637

And here’s the best part – Trump not only said that he lied, he doubled down! Trump’s lies are not just normal lies. They’re like looking at a Photoshop creation – they’re heavily layered, each layer has its’ own character, and it takes a lot of processing time and unpacking to get the full feel for what he’s trying to achieve.

Former Trump employees have warned that as objectionable as the president may sound in public, he’s even worse behind closed doors. Such was the case last Friday when Trump spoke to Republican National Committee donors at Mar-a-Lago. According to Axios, organizers were so concerned with Trump’s private comments leaking that they made attendees seal their cell phones in magnetized pouches. Though the measure may have prevented the release of audio recordings of the president’s speech, a few donors gave Axios a run-down of proceedings. They were as strange as one might expect and, yes, race was involved.

During what one donor described as a “bizarre tangent” about his seclusion in the White House over the holidays, Trump allegedly joked that Secret Service agents were wearing blackface. The donor said that Trump described looking out the curtain of the White House and seeing the agents “in the trees, on the lawn,” and that they were wearing night-vision goggles. “They’re in blackface,” Trump said, adding that “maybe they have to take them away,” because of it. The two sources who relayed the account to Axios said they assumed Trump was referencing the controversy surrounding Democratic Virginia governor Ralph Northam, who last month admitted he wore blackface in the ’80s and which everyone seems to have forgotten about.

It didn’t end there. Responding to recent comments from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) that the GOP has been using to claim she’s anti-Semitic, Trump reportedly went ahead and slapped the label on the entire party. “The Democrats hate Jewish people,” he reportedly said bluntly before going on about how much he’s done for Israel since taking office. This of course is not true. After Trump said last week that the Democratic party has become “anti-Jewish,” the Washington Post dropped some statistics proving the claim has no bearing in reality. Not only are 32 of the 34 Jewish Americans in Congress Democrats, over 70 percent of Jewish Americans voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, and a poll released in October 2018 found that 74 percent of Jewish-American voters planned to vote for Democratic candidates in the midterms.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-tim-apple-806356/

I mean ugh… it’s damn near impossible to keep track of his lies anymore. One minute he says one thing, the next minute he doesn’t admit it and tries to… yeah thanks monitor guy! That’s exactly what it’s like – for those of you viewing at home there’s footage of that Always Sunny conspiracy theory clip. But yeah the next time Trump says anything, expect him to support it… or deny it, whatever. Fuck it.

Last Wednesday, President Trump closed out a meeting of the American Workforce Policy Advisory Board by personally thanking “Tim Apple,” better known as Apple CEO Tim Cook. Video of the hilarious and now well-publicized moment is below.

This is far from the worst of the frequently confused president’s gaffes, and it’s something that would have fallen out of the news cycle by now if Trump had simply let the issue go. But Trump is, of course, unable move on and has mentioned the incident publicly at least twice since.

Axios reported this weekend that Trump told a group of donors at Mar-a-Lago on Friday that he actually said “Tim Cook, Apple” really fast, but he said the “Cook” part too softly and chalked the resulting video up to “fake news.” Two donors at the event told Axios that they were baffled as to why Trump was even bringing it up because, as one of them put it, “it doesn’t even matter!”

And on Monday morning, Trump took to Twitter to argue that he called Tim Cook “Tim Apple” on purpose as “an easy way to save time & words.” He then admonished the “Fake News” for putting out “another bad Trump story.”
https://www.spin.com/2019/03/trump-tim-cook-tim-apple-fake-news/

[font size="8"]Leaving Neverland & R. Kelly
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Let’s spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! What? I’m bankrupt? What did I wager? All 10,000? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on Morally Bankrupt. Which leads me to my next topic – if it’s in the news, we got to talk about it. And there’s a pair of documentary movies that could potentially take down two of the world’s biggest music stars Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, for Leaving Neverland, and Surviving R. Kelly, respectively. Yeah it’s ugly and it will only get uglier especially when Michael Jackson is the number one earner on Forbes Magazine’s annual list of the Top Earning Dead Celebrities. And for the record we won’t make fun of the victims here. But we can make fun of the situation right? Well how bad is it? Michael Jackson is effectively getting cancelled.

As the release of a new documentary detailing abuse accusations against the singer Michael Jackson has prompted debate about his legacy, the public response to its contents is also leading radio stations across the globe to stop playing his music.

A radio network in Quebec pulled Jackson’s music from its nearly two dozen stations, according to The Canadian Press. In Britain, Variety reported that the BBC was forced to deny imposing such a ban after it was reported that the singer’s music had been “quietly dropped” from one of its stations.

And the backlash has led to an almost complete removal of the singer’s music from the airwaves in New Zealand, after the two largest radio networks — which own most of the country’s commercial stations — said Wednesday that they would no longer play Jackson’s songs.

In the New Zealand and Canadian cases, radio networks cited a change in public opinion about Jackson that was tied to the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part mini-series focusing on the accusations of two men who say Jackson abused them as children, as the reason for the ban. The program is scheduled for broadcast in New Zealand on Sunday and Monday.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/06/world/asia/michael-jackson-radio-stations.html

Yeah so Michael Jackson, even though the 10th anniversary of his death is coming up, hasn’t exactly had what one would call the best week. And of course you know Trump, who always takes the unpopular opinion on everything, is probably blasting Thriller and Smooth Criminal right now, because, fuck it, why not? I mean even the Simpsons pulled their famous Michael Jackson episode!

An episode of The Simpsons featuring Michael Jackson’s voice has been pulled by its producers after a powerful documentary accused the star of sexually abusing two men when they were children.

The HBO documentary Leaving Neverland, which was shown on Channel 4 this week, featured James Safechuck and Wade Robson who claimed they were sexually abused by Jackson.

The singer featured in the Stark Raving Dad Simpsons episode which aired in 1991, but his involvement was only confirmed years later. Jackson voiced Leon Kompowsky, who meets Homer in a psychiatric hospital, where he claims to be the pop star and does the moonwalk.
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/mar/08/michael-jackson-simpsons-episode-pulled-by-producers

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And even Drake, who had a collaboration with Michael Jackson on one of his albums, has since pulled the song from his setlist. I mean the hits just keep coming! So you might be asking well what’s going to happen to Michael Jackson’s estate? Well, there’s a lot to unpack from this documentary and we will bring updates as it comes along.

HBO’s blockbuster Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland,” in which two men, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, accuse the late singer of abusing them sexually when they were boys, has caused much speculation about what the allegations will mean for Jackson’s legacy — and the earning power of his estate.

The estate and Jackson’s family have fiercely criticized the accusers and the documentary — the estate filed a $100 million lawsuit against HBO — and even scheduled two rare Jackson concert films directly against the premiere airtimes of the two-part “Leaving Neverland.” The estate claims HBO violated a non-disparagement agreement it struck with the singer in 1992. “‘Leaving Neverland’ isn’t a documentary, it is the kind of tabloid character assassination Michael Jackson endured in life, and now in death,” the estate said in a January statement.

In the wake of reactions to the documentary, many of them negative, could a bad look impact the recorded-music deal between the estate and Sony Music Entertainment, the longtime home of Jackson’s recorded-music and publishing catalogs? According to the Wall Street Journal, that agreement is worth $250 million for the rights to distribute the singer’s recordings over seven years.” (A source close to the situation confirmed the figure to Variety.)
https://variety.com/2019/music/news/leaving-neverland-michael-jackson-estate-250-million-sony-music-trouble-1203156657/

Look, look… this was not an easy entry to write. I’m 100% pro first amendment. I’m not for book burning or censorship of any kind, but yeah really, I’m currently on the side of “fuck that guy”. Especially with all the other assholes like R. Kelly, what does that say about the future? Yeah I can understand Bill Cosby getting banned from everywhere, and now it looks like Michael Jackson and R. Kelly might be joining them. But really, fuck those guys.

Spotify and Apple Music have not taken action against Michael Jackson’s music catalog following the release of “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part HBO documentary that accuses the pop superstar of sexually abusing two young boys in the ’80s and ’90s. The move is a departure from the stance the two companies took against R. Kelly after the singer was hit with new accusations of sexual misconduct.

Representatives for the two leading streaming services haven’t responded to multiple requests for comment on whether Jackson’s music would be pulled from its featured playlists. Both Spotify and Apple Music removed R. Kelly’s music from its playlists last year.

Kelly was recently indicted on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse involving four accusers — three of whom prosecutors said were underage — between 1998 and 2010.

“We don’t censor content because of an artist’s or creator’s behavior, but we want our editorial decisions — what we choose to program — to reflect our values,” a Spotify rep told TheWrap last year. “When an artist or creator does something that is especially harmful or hateful, it may affect the ways we work with or support that artist or creator.”
https://www.thewrap.com/members/2019/03/05/michael-jackson-avoids-the-r-kelly-treatment-on-spotify-apple-music/

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: GoScamMe
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Let’s spin it to win it! Oh….. 10,0000… oh hey it lands on our Spiderman theme!

Yeah so for this edition like I said we’re paying tribute to one of my favorite movies of the last year, Spiderman - Into The Spiderverse. And this won’t be the only time either. So let’s spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Go Fund Me is the world’s largest crowdfunding website. And while the intentions of Go Fund Me are good – that anyone can donate to anyone for anything, But when anyone can donate to anything, there’s bound to be some scammers and people who are abusive of the privilege. It’s a simple fact of life – if anyone can donate, it’s quite possible that you can get scammed. In fact one such story out of New Jersey that broke last November started out with good intentions, but very quickly went south. Let’s hear more.

A woman and a homeless man who fabricated a heartwarming story of compassion that drew more than $400,000 in donations on GoFundMe pleaded guilty to federal conspiracy charges on Wednesday.

Johnny Bobbitt, 36, pleaded guilty in federal court in Camden, N.J., to one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering, while Katelyn McClure, 28, pleaded guilty to a count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Sentencing for Ms. McClure is scheduled for June 19; she faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Mr. Bobbitt faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. His sentencing date has not been set.

The two also face state charges in New Jersey, as does Mark D’Amico, who was Ms. McClure’s boyfriend when the crimes were committed.

In 2017, the authorities say, the three wove an irresistible yarn. Posting to GoFundMe, a crowdfunding site, Ms. McClure and Mr. D’Amico said that she had run out of gas while driving home in the Philadelphia area, and that Mr. Bobbitt, a homeless veteran, had spent his last $20 to buy gasoline for her. The couple said they wanted to raise $10,000 to thank him and get him off the streets.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/07/us/gofundme-homeless-scam-guilty.html

Yes, that did go south very fast. But it wasn’t just a mere scam it’s a conspiracy that unfolded that has multiple layers involved from all parties involved. So who is Johnny Bobbitt, the man at the center of the case? Well, you should never trust a guy named Johnny Bobbitt, first of all. But second, yeah they picked just about the shadiest guy possible to pull off the scam.

Johnny Bobbitt, the former homeless veteran who became the face of a GoFundMe scam that netted more than $400,000 from donors, admitted Friday to knowingly participating in the fraud and spending some of the donated funds on illegal drugs.

Bobbitt pleaded guilty to second-degree conspiracy to commit theft by deception before Superior Court Judge Christopher J. Garrenger on Friday and was formally entered into the county’s drug court, a diversion program reserved for nonviolent offenders who agree to enter into a rigorous supervision and substance abuse treatment in order to avoid criminal penalties.

He is scheduled to be sentenced next month to five years of special probation contingent upon him completing the program. If he fails to comply with the drug court conditions, he would face an alternative sentence of five years in state prison.

Bobbitt, who was ordered to remain in Burlington County Jail pending sentencing, told the judge he understood his plea agreement and was not coerced into entering the guilty plea.
https://www.theintell.com/news/20190308/homeless-man-pleads-guilty-to-conspiracy-in-gofundme-scam

Yes that is a good question. Well, it is bad and it can lead to repercussions for both you and Go Fund Me, as well as the people who you scammed out of money. Not to mention that it can make life difficult from here on out that much more difficult for anyone who dares to make a Go Fund Me request ever again. So what do actual experts say you can do to avoid getting scammed? Let’s ask them.

Customers, like Garrett, began coming forward this past December, when people started posting warnings not to use cards for purchases from the Pinkys Ice Cream truck in Iowa Park and Burkburnett because they had been charged multiple times for the same purchase.

"It took me about a month because I do not use my debit card much and I just kept putting some money into my account and I was negative $10 and I was really confused," Garrett said.

Garrett said she was actually one of the lucky ones because she was able to detect it early on and Wichita Falls Police Officer Brian Masterson said that is key to help solve these investigations.

"We can try and go out and get surveillance video and potentially get the people responsible for doing this, get them arrested and put into jail and hopefully stop other people from becoming victims," Officer Masterson said.
https://www.texomashomepage.com/news/local-news/burkburnett-isd-student-speaks-out-on-being-scammed/1812730601

Actually this one is a definite scamola, Homer. But just like detecting deadly diseases, the key to beating scammers at their own game is early detection. And however, just like death, getting scammed is something that doesn’t happen until it happens. You won’t know it until it is over. But this begs the question – is everything on the internet a scam now? Why of course it is!

The internet: where you can meet new people, make new friends, learn new skills, and help new people! And also, get fleeced. The saga of a couple from New Jersey who raised over $400,000 to help a homeless man and then reportedly withheld the money from him has reached its bitter end, and it turns out everybody involved is a scammer. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning so you can fully enjoy the drama. Because there is a whole lot of it.

Back in 2017, Kate McClure and her boyfriend Mark D’Amico told a heartwarming story about a homeless man, Johnny Bobbitt, offering her his last $20 when she ran out of gas one night. Nice, right? Right. That’s what everybody thought when they read it on a GoFundMe campaign the couple started, promising to use the money to help Bobbitt secure housing and set up a trust in his name. Cue $402,000 in donations from people moved by Bobbitt’s kindness.

But then, in September, Bobbitt got a lawyer and started claiming he’d never received the money the couple raised. He did get some of it, about $75,000, which included a camper and a 1999 Ford Ranger. (Neither were registered in his name and Bobbitt lived in the camper on the couple’s property until they kicked him off in June.) Bobbitt said the pair spent the rest of the money on vacations and a new BMW. At this point, the cops raided the couple’s house and they, via their lawyer, said that the money was gone. GoFundMe donated $20,000 to Bobbitt to help cover legal expenses.
http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/11/gofundme-scam-saga-ends-in-three-arrests.html

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

Jason Blundell and his two teenage kids, Shelby and Spencer, spent a snowy Saturday in Chadron, Nebraska, recreating their family's 1967 Ford Mustang GTA, according to the Scottsbluff Star-Herald. The Mustang stayed in the garage, of course, but its snow-replica was parked proudly out on the curb.

The "Snow Pony" took five hours to build and blew up from there, attracting admirers from across the world thanks to a family friend who added to the display. Nebraska State Patrol Sgt. Mick Downing, who attends the Blundells' church, filmed himself writing a fake tow notice for the obvious snow-car and posted it on the patrol's social media pages.

Downing, of course, never filed the paperwork to submit the notice, as it would have been legally parked if it were a real car.
http://www.thedrive.com/news/26909/ford-mustang-snow-sculpture-is-so-realistic-it-got-a-parking-ticket-from-state-trooper

I’m not really sure if you can fault the officer or you can fault the terrible parking job. Either way this one is a colossal WTF. Spin it again! oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! In times of a natural disaster, we can always turn to the good LAWRD JAYSUS for a miracle or two. However, when the most unholy, ungodly man whose name I dare not speak in my church, claims he’s a man of GAWD, then there’s certain liberties he takes with the job that he’s given on any day! You know the supporters of the unholy Dark One, painted his predecessor as a “celebrity”, but they elected a guy who is synonymous with the term “celebrity”. In fact he’s so much of a celebrity that he thinks that his opinion is greater than that of GAWD himself!

U.S. President Donald J. Trump flew to Alabama to make a personal survey of last week’s Tornado damage. Trump upset a lot of people when he signed Bibles presented to him by tornado survivors. A 12-year-old boy initiated the presidential signing spree when he gave the president his Bible and requested him to sign the Christian holy book. According to media footage, even Melania Trump, the first lady, signed Bibles.

Trump’s Bible signing activity has divided religious leaders on whether such an action is appropriate. A few are offended, while others said President Trump might have gone about his signing activity differently. One of the few who supported the president in this issue is Hershael York, Dean of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary School located in Louisville, Kentucky. He pointed out that the president signed the Bible as he was asked. He then said although the United States does not have a national faith, Americans have faith in their nation, and thus it is not surprising that people have asked politicians to sign their Bibles. Reverend Donnie Anderson is one of the many clergy members offended by Trump’s signing spree. The executive minister of Rhode Island State Council of Churches said she was deeply offended by the manner the president scribbled his signature. He not only autographed Bibles but also many other products like hats. He also posed for many photographs. As per Rev. Anderson, Trump made a calculated political move to solidify his GOP voting base. https://www.worldreligionnews.com/?p=60013

Now look, sir… just because the videos that I show may mention his name, I will personally not say his name in my church, and it is implied that my parishioners don’t either! And if you don’t like my policy, the door is THAT way! That is the way it is in the Holy Church Of The Top 10! Now, back on track. Here’s the thing – was he the first one to do it? Absolutely not! But is he the most offensive person ever to sign one? Absolutely!

Peter Manseau, the Smithsonian’s curator of religion, tells The Washington Post that other presidents have signed Bibles, too. Specifically, says Manseau, Barack Obama signed one or more Bibles during his time in office, as did George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan. Manseau did not, however, say when or where those Bible signings took place.

“From what I can tell the event [Friday] wasn’t outside the norm,” Manseau said.

Also known to have signed a Bible in his career is Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.

And though at least one evangelical was appalled by the signing of Bibles, it seems that others in the evangelical community are less put off by signing Bibles. Tim Tebow has been known to sign them, for example, and late evangelist Billy Graham signed a Bible in 2005 for a very special friend of his: that friend was Donald Trump.
https://www.inquisitr.com/5334622/barack-obama-also-signed-bibles-so-did-george-w-bush-and-president-ronald-reagan/

Did the Bibles burst into flames afterward? But this brings up a very interesting gray area. Now… is it OK for the Dark One to sign the Good Book? Well this not only divided the people who were there, it’s spawned a national debate among the holiest and godliest among us, and the people who are on the other side. So what do actual pastors have to think about this? Well let’s ask them!

- When President Trump signed Bibles in an Alabama region devastated by tornadoes, he was giving comfort to survivors by participating in a time-honored Southern tradition, some observers say. Others claim signing Scripture was inappropriate.

In the South, signatures in a person's Bible "bring back great memories of relationships and friendships and moments in our life," said Rusty Sowell, pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Opelika, Ala., where Trump signed tornado victims' Bibles March 8.

Trump and First Lady Melania Trump visited Providence in the aftermath of an EF-4 tornado that killed 23 people. The church has been used as a staging area for disaster response. While gathering at Providence with survivors, first responders and volunteers, Trump and the first lady signed memorabilia including Bibles for those who asked, Sowell told Baptist Press.

The Bible signing provoked media reports over the weekend, with some critics voicing strong opposition to Trump's actions.

Sowell said he "didn't think anything about it" when Trump began signing Bibles. The pastor noted signatures in his own Bible of friends and other significant people dating back to the mid-1970s.
http://bpnews.net/52551/trumps-bible-signing-called-southern-tradition

Even the good LAWRD is speechless on this one! By the way give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? Can I get an amen??? Well, I’ve been all over this great land of ours and I certainly don’t remember that being a tradition from any of the places I’ve ever been! That’s right, sir! But here’s why people don’t think that the Dark One should sign the Good Book!

President Donald Trump is not a liar. A liar is someone who occasionally tells mistruths. President Trump is a broken fire hose of lies. He’s a broken slot machine of lies. He’s a lie conveyor belt.

On Monday, the president lied again, this time in tweet-form, claiming that America was “starting to make a turn back” to a time when Bible study was big in public schools.

The Washington Post’s Mark Chancy noted, there was no such time in American history.

But besides that, Trump, who has routinely portrayed himself as a man of God, had to deal with a competing tweet from an actual man of God.
https://www.theroot.com/trumps-former-pastor-he-never-actually-entered-the-chu-1832233472

There you have it, a guy who claims to be the holiest among us, has never set foot in our holiest of institutions! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

Holy shit! That’s crazy! I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Oh and hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse:

The comedy world was completely divided this week as Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to try her hand at stand up comedy. Yes, *THAT* Stormy Daniels. Professional stripper and the woman who some might argue is Donald Trump’s worst nightmare. And she’s also single-handedly responsible for ruining our childhoods more than any amount of Ghostbusters remakes ever could. So, Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to fill the late spot at the Chuckle Hut and actual comedians are split down the middle as to who really gets to fill that spot. Hey, wait a minute! That’s also what we do here! So does that mean I don’t get to play to an audience either? Oh wait, we play the coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot when there’s no possible chance of landing an audience. So let’s expand on this further, shall we?

Stormy Daniels is taking a spin at being a stand-up comedian.

The adult-film star — who’s been locked in an ongoing legal battle with President Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen — will perform at a comedy club in Houston later this month, the Joke Joint Comedy Club’s co-owner, Ken Reed, told KTRK-TV this week.

Daniels is suing Trump and Cohen to void a nondisclosure agreement about an affair she says she had with Trump in 2006. The payment over that agreement is one of the reasons Cohen was last year sentenced to three years in jail for bank fraud and campaign finance violations.

"I'm not going to judge her on her politics, or her day job, or anything else,” Reed said of Daniels’s upcoming sets. “She has an audience. She has a fanbase that want to see her. I think it's going to be a good show.”

The head of the comedy club said the idea for Daniels to deliver some one-liners came from her management team.
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/432680-stormy-daniels-turns-to-standup

Yeah so Stormy is heading to the stage everybody! Woooooooooooo!!!!! And what city will be lucky enough to witness this train wreck? Houston, Texas! And boy won’t they be so receptive there? Because Houston is prime MAGA country and I’m sure they won’t have any of it. But hey you never know what kind of audience you’re going to get!

Adult film star-turned-comedienne Stormy Daniels is taking her act on the road and starting her comedy tour in Houston.

Co-owner of the Joke Joint Comedy Club in southeast Houston, Ken Reed, says her management team reached out to him to schedule the show. He says he's gotten mixed opinions about her show coming to his club.

"I'd go see it. Check it out. See what it's about. I always like to laugh," said Aaron Holmes, a potential patron to the Stormy Daniels shows.

Meanwhile, Michael Nichols differs, saying, "Personally, not my preference, but, you know, to each his own."
https://abc13.com/entertainment/stormy-daniels-bringing-comedy-tour-to-houston/5167251/

Yes true, this is doo doo, or as some might put it, horseshit. So here’s where we get into the meat of this discussion. So actual stand up comedians aren’t having any of this. But as we’ve learned, Stormy is not the first celebrity to try their hand at stand-up comedy. Yeah we get it that comedy is not an easy profession to get into – it takes a lot of hard work to sell out the Chuckle Hut or the Joke Joint. So why so serious?

Stormy Daniels made waves after announcing a headlining gig at Joke Joint Comedy Showcase in Houston. Comedians nationwide took offense to Daniels, who likely has never done a comedy open mic in her life, headlining a comedy club on name recognition alone.

But here’s the rub: porn stars have been headlining comedy shows for years. Bree Olson made a web series, Bree Does Comedy, about an adult film star that becomes a stand-up. Sovereign Syre made a name for herself as a dual-action comedian and porn star. Ron Jeremy does a surprising number of club sets.

The prevalence of porn stars getting up onstage makes the backlash to Stormy Daniels doing stand-up only more confusing because this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Earlier this week, Laurie Kilmartin tweeted “Doing standup is not a reward for being famous. Please leave the weekend gigs for actual female comics,” in response to Daniel’s Tour Manager, Dwayne Crawford, announcing her first stand-up show in Texas. While Kilmartin says to “leave the weekends” for actual comics, the show is an independently-produced one-nighter on a Wednesday.
https://laughspin.com/stormy-daniels-upset-comedians/

Well, we would actually prefer not to do it that way. And even more and more actual comedians are speaking out against this idea. So is it a good move or a bad move? You be the judge. Of course we could and should afford a trip to Houston to witness the potential train wreck of a show, but yeah we’ll just save money and wait for the highlights to come out on Twitter! So what do actual comedians think of this move?

If you blinked and missed it, Stormy Daniels is starting her career in stand-up comedy. For the entertainers that have worked for years honing their craft, you can imagine that they would be pretty upset that Stormy gets a pass in the business just because she's got some stories to tell about Donald Trump. The former adult star will probably sell out her shows but according to Chris D'Elia, she shouldn't be referring to herself as a comedian.

When TMZ cameras caught up with the actor, he was asked about his thoughts on the move from porn to comedy. He actually gave a pretty insightful answer too. "I'm not a porn star if I just make a video of me fucking someone... I just made a video. She's not a comedian!" He goes on to say that people often look at stand-up as a second choice for when they've failed in their first career. Referring to the move as a cash grab, D'Elia notes that some of his peers are pissed about Stormy waltzing into the business so casually.

Instead of calling it a comedy tour, Chris suggests she change the name to a "public speaking" display. Let us know your thoughts on this? Does Stormy Daniels belong on the stage as a comedian?
https://www.hotnewhiphop.com/chris-delia-goes-off-on-stormy-daniels-for-starting-a-comedy-career-news.73678.html

[font size="8"]Jared Kushner
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… wow, two clips without context in a row! What are the odds?

Yeah it’s always those damn commies isn’t it??? I swear, I can’t even anymore. Spin it again! It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Jared Kushner’s security clearance. How is this still a thing? Yes, Jared Kushner is the man who is married to Donald Trump’s DHLF Ivanka. Don’t ask us what that abbreviation means, because you don’t want to know. In case you’re wondering how difficult it is to actually obtain a security clearance to go inside the White House, it’s pretty close to damn near impossible. And the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, just hands them out like he’s handing out party favors. Kiss Trump’s ass enough or marry into his family? You get a security clearance! And why does he still have this most coveted of all clearances? Well its’ a mystery.

President Donald Trump pressured his staff to give daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner security clearance, despite objections from senior staffers, according to a report published Tuesday.

According to the report, Trump pressured then-chief of staff John Kelly and White House counsel Don McGahn to grant the clearances so that it wouldn‘t look like the president was inappropriately influencing the process, several sources told CNN. Both McGahn and Kelly refused, and Trump ultimately granted the security clearances himself, the sources said.

Last week, reported Trump demanded Kelly grant Kushner a top security clearance last year, despite the chief of staff laying out major concerns in an internal memo.

The reports contradict statements made by both Trump and Ivanka, who have denied there was any inappropriate influence in granting the security clearances.

In January, the president told the he played no role in ordering White House officials to grant Kushner top-secret clearance.
https://techstockstandard.com/trump-reportedly-pressured-his-staff-to-grant-ivanka-and-jared-kushner-their-security-clearances/36197/

So if you kiss Trump’s ass enough, you might just get top secret national security clearance. Maybe that’s the Art Of The Deal? OK, we will admit that we’ve never actually read the Art Of The Deal, we will just make things up. Which is pretty much what Trump does all day every day. That’s what happens when you don’t actually read. And when you do read, the actual headlines are pretty frightening, such as what happened when the Democrats inquired about this clearance:

The White House rejected a demand from the House Oversight Committee to turn over documents and comply with interviews concerning the security clearances of some of President Donald Trump's closest advisers, including Trump senior adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner.
The refusal to provide the documents increases the likelihood that House Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings will issue a subpoena for the information.
Cummings told CNN on Tuesday that "when you cannot get information, you cannot be a check," and said Trump's administration is "reluctant" to give the committee "the information that we need to do our job." The Maryland Democrat said that "under the Constitution, we have a duty -- it's not some witch hunt, it's a duty, a sworn duty, by the way -- to be a check on the executive branch."
The chairman added, "We will very carefully consider our next options, and we will do things that are responsible and consistent with the Constitution."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/05/politics/white-house-security-clearance-ivanka-trump-jared-kushner/index.html

That we can imagine is pretty much what it’s like behind the scenes. In fact, how did Jared obtain his security clearance? That’s something that has been under a lot of scrutiny lately. And trying to figure out why and how he has security clearance is enough to make you go WTF?. But really, just don’t try to make sense of it. Instead try to figure out how it can be taken away.

Over the last two years we’ve seen periodic news reports detailing the comedy of errors that has been Jared Kushner’s security clearance process. The story flares up, but because it seems only to be about bureaucratic paperwork, it smolders just as quickly. This is because we mostly see the “what”—the bureaucratic swindle—and not the “why.” News: It’s not boring.

Sadly, though, we can’t get around the “what” of it, so I’ll tell a short story:

Kushner, who needs a top-level clearance to do the jobs assigned to him—such as negotiating the Middle East peace process—didn’t receive a full clearance for a long, long time. When he did get cleared, it was because Donald Trump—who is President of the United States and coincidentally also Kushner’s father-in-law—overrode his national security officers and demanded it.

Why didn’t Kushner qualify? First, he repeatedly withheld information on his security questionnaire (form SF-86), which he had to amend four times. (Flag this: The omissions included meetings with foreign officials.) Kushner’s applications were so riddled with errors and omissions that when Charles Phalen, director of the administration’s National Background Investigations Bureau, was asked before Congress if he could “recall if there has ever been an applicant having to submit four addenda detailing over 100 errors and omissions being able to maintain their security clearance,” he replied he had “never seen that level of mistakes.”
https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2019/03/making-sense-of-jared-kushners-incredibly-complica.html

And by the way – the one person who could revoke Kushner’s security clearance is one of Trump’s worst nightmares – California congressman Adam Schiff, or as Trump calls him “Shifty Schiff”. But there is also this.

A White House security specialist is seeking official whistleblower protection from the federal government after raising concerns about “unwarranted security clearances" for administration officials, including Jared Kushner, according to two sources familiar with the matter.

The specialist, Tricia Newbold, filed the whistleblower complaint less than two weeks after she was suspended without pay for defying her supervisor, Carl Kline.

The complaint, which was obtained by NBC News, alleges Newbold raised concerns with Kline about a security clearance for an individual as early as July 2017. The complaint does not identify the person, but sources familiar with the situation told NBC News that it was Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and adviser.

In the complaint, Newbold says Kline "repeatedly mishandled security files and has approved unwarranted security clearances."
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/whistleblower-seeks-protection-after-sounding-alarm-over-white-house-security-n970586

This is what happens when the conspiracy theorists run the conspiracy. Extortion, racketeering, lies, and more lies – all standard operating procedure for the Donald Trump administration. That’s enough to make you ask – Jared Kushner’s security clearance:

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Oh man I could really use a drink right now!

Of course you know the idea behind this is that we have some cocktails, and while we are cocktailing we talk about anything in the news that doesn’t relate to politics. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a jealous boyfriend story? Jealous Boyfriend IPA? OK I will try that one. And give it to me in a large glass, and don’t skimp on the pour. And I don’t know if you saw in the news over the weekend that former Yankees star Alex Rodrigues got engaged to everyone’s favorite hand puppet Jennifer Lopez over the weekend. Well, none were more jealous than former Oakland Athletics star and part time Steven Segal impersonator Jose Canseco. And let’s just say Mr. Canseco is a home run short of a cycle.

Jose Canseco has moved on from his pitch of assisting New York Mets outfielder Tim Tebow with his at-bats to taking swings at the second-most high-profile pairing of the weekend.

No, no, not Antonio Brown switching yellow for silver. Canseco is taking aim at former New York Yankees all-star Alex Rodriguez giving Jennifer Lopez a diamond he couldn’t lose on a beach.
Canseco dives in on cheating allegation

One day after A-Rod announced the engagement on his social accounts, Canseco decided to fill his time accusing the former slugger of cheating on his new fiance.

It gets worse: the woman Canseco pulled into this mess is his ex-wife, Jessica.

While J-Lo’s competition show, “World of Dance,” was airing Sunday night, Canseco delivered a string of tweets with zero facts.

“Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of s— stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez,” he tweeted.
https://sports.yahoo.com/jose-canseco-accuses-alex-rodriguez-cheating-jennifer-lopez-ex-wife-151959458.html

Oh Jose, you can’t just flat out accuse A-Rod of cheating. Oh wait, except everybody has accused him of cheating! And not just on Jennifer Lopez, either! But it gets weirder – so much weirder. Apparently Mr. Canseco has gone completely off his rocker and wants to fight A-Rod for J.Lo’s heart. Because that always works! And them’s fighting words, apparently!

One day after Alex Rodriguez confirmed his engagement to Jennifer Lopez, Jose Canseco accused Rodriguez of being unfaithful to the pop singer and actress.

Canseco on Sunday said Rodriguez was cheating on Lopez with his ex-wife Jessica.

Jose and Jessica Canseco married in 1996 and divorced in 1999.

Following his initial tweet alleging Rodriguez of cheating on Lopez, the six-time All-Star also issued a challenge to A-Rod.

Canseco's final season in MLB was in 2001. He tried his hand at mixed martial arts in 2009, losing to Hong Man Choi via first-round submission.
https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2824950-jose-canseco-challenges-alex-rodriguez-to-fight-accuses-him-of-cheating-on-j-lo

Ha ha… that’s classic. But being jealous boyfriend #1 isn’t the only crazy thing that he’s been cooking up lately. And this is too fucking good. Apparently Mr. Canseco is a hardcore conspiracy theorist who believes in bigfoot and wants to fight aliens. Yes, those kinds of aliens, sir! And nothing says Las Vegas like alien hunting. The cost? Only a mere $5,000!

Former major leaguer Jose Canseco has continued to sail off into the muddy skies of insanity, as he is promising that people who pay to spend time with him will meet a “real alien” and Bigfoot.

When last we visited former Oakland Athletics star Jose Canseco, he had decided to share his beliefs that aliens were teaching humanity how to travel through time. With concepts straight out of an H.P. Lovecraft story, Canseco proclaimed that the technology existed, at least in regards to those aliens, to send the brains of humanity through time and space. Of course, his claim that he himself had been in the future, and had seen the Super Bowl already, was proven wrong.

While there may be some doubt regarding Canseco and his treks through time, he promises that those aliens are real. In fact, if you spend the money to hang out with him, not only will you get to meet one of those aliens, but he also guarantees a Bigfoot sighting as well.
https://calltothepen.com/2019/02/17/jose-canseco-promises-meeting-aliens-bigfoot/

Yes, for a mere $5000, you too can golf, hunt Bigfoot, and go fight aliens with Jose Canseco. I just… how… what… who is this for? I mean he’s got Bigfoot ideology all wrong! Bigfoot is usually found in the forests, and there’s no forests in Vegas! Yes, sir, I’ve been there. Oh and Mr. Canseco is also trying to court Tim Tebow. Dude, Jose… you might want to take a break from humanity for a while. Go home, you’re drunk.

According to Jose Canseco …

Wait, come back. It’s not like you think.

OK, so it’s exactly like you think. Canseco is having a thought, just a few weeks after his last thought — inviting suckers, er, thrill-seekers on a $5,000-per-person excursion to hunt for Bigfoot and aliens who have communicated to the onetime Oakland A’s Most Valuable Player the secrets of time travel.

I’ll pause for a moment while you travel back in time and read that again.

That’s our Hosey (as Dave Stewart used to call his one-time teammate) — always swinging for the fences.

Here’s his new thought: He wants a job as Tim Tebow’s personal hitting coach. But only if Tebow trades his batting helmet for a tin-foil hat.

“Tim Tebow let me help you with your swing,” Canseco tweeted. “I just saw one of your bats you have no rhythm right now and you’re to rotational I will help you for free I’m a fan of yours.”
https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/03/05/jose-canseco-turns-fan-boy-makes-unsolicited-offer-to-tutor-would-be-slugger/

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1

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Let's spin the wheel one last time this week! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy.... STOP!!! T-Shirt Cannon!!! Yes everyone will get the new Top 10 Stupidest State 2019 t-shirt! Yeah how awesome is that? Let's spin it again! Stupidest State 2019! Hit it!

16 states will enter and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1! We're here live at the home of the Arizona State University Sun Devils, the fabulous Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona! We've got two matchups of two teams and they are here and they are ready to tangle! In this corner it's a Battle of the Batshit as Kentucky takes on Maine, fresh from their triumphant return to the tournament! While in this corner, it's a Gun Nut showdown as two newcomers to the tournament look to bring their big guns to the dance - it's hot newcomer Idaho against another hot newcomer, Oregon. Who will win? Who will go home? Let's get out the bracket so you can follow along!

[font size="4"]Kentucky Vs. Maine [/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

So of course you know the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the reigning champion of this conference since Florida bowed out and became a member of the Gun Nut Conference. Want to know Kentucky's credentials? Yes, their governor currently is Matt Blevin, who's been called one of the worst governors in the country. They're also home to two of the most horrible senators this country has ever seen - jackass and human turtle impersonator Mitch McConnell and Mr. Monkey Pancakes himself, Rand Paul. Kentucky is also the home of former Christian right hero now disgraced county clerk Kim Davis. And now they can add Nicholas Sandmann to the list! Yes, the 16 year old from the Indigenous People's March is a hero of Trump because he's going after the mainstream media for - get this - character defamation! Oh womp womp!

The legal team representing Nick Sandmann is seeking $275 million in damages from CNN, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court on Tuesday.
Nick, a 16-year-old Covington Catholic student, was thrust into the national spotlight when videos of him and his classmates interacting with others outside the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., went viral in January. He is represented by Todd McMurtry and experienced libel and defamation lawyer L. Lin Wood of Atlanta.
This is the second defamation lawsuit filed against a media company after the viral incident in Washington, D.C.
In February, Nick's legal team filed a lawsuit in federal court seeking $250 million in damages against The Washington Post. Nick's legal team also has sent dozens of letters requesting national media outlets and figures preserve evidence such as internal emails for potential lawsuits.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/03/13/nick-sandmann-cnn-lawsuit-covington-catholic/3149588002/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Gee if he thinks CNN is bad wait until he gets a hold of this program! Oh and his legal team? He has a whole fucking legal team? Who's paying for this? Time to follow the money. The sooner this dipshit goes away the better. But the sad thing is we probably haven't heard the last of this pathetic snowflake. Yeah he is a snowflake! He can dish it out, but he sure can't take it. Vicious attacks on him? Go cry me a fucking river.

Following a $250 million defamation lawsuit against The Washington Post, Covington Catholic teenager Nick Sandmann and his family are planning to sue CNN for a similar amount, Sandmann's lawyer said.
Lawyer L. Lin Wood announced the lawsuit in an interview with Fox News host Mark Levin. The interview is set to air on Sunday at 10 p.m. ET during the network's Life, Liberty & Levin.
“CNN was probably more vicious in its direct attacks on Nicholas than the Washington Post, and CNN goes into millions of individuals’ homes," Wood said.
Wood said he expects the lawsuit will be filed on "Monday or Tuesday" of next week.
“I've got some young, smart lawyers that are working hard as we can," Wood said. "Double-checking, and listen, when we file complaints, we've investigated it because we want to get it right. Maybe CNN can learn from that."
https://www.newsweek.com/covington-catholic-teen-nick-sandmann-sue-cnn-over-200-million-lawyer-says-1357521

[font size="4"]Maine[/font]

Maine needs no introduction to the conference. The Pine Tree State's credentials are pretty much unparalleled in the dance as they have given us Gov. Paul Le Page. They've also given us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins. But Maine, outside of the major cities, is also home to some very prime MAGA country. Which is why even though they tend to vote Blue, they also vote in some of the craziest politicians in the country. So much that they've been referred to as Canada's Florida. Well, at least on this program they have anyway. So what's Maine been up to lately? Well they attempted to censor political speech (sponsored by a republican, obviously) and it hilariously backfired on them!

A Maine Republican’s bill that sought to ban teachers from discussing political or ideological advocacy with students has been unanimously rejected by a legislative committee.

Rep. Lawrence Lockman’s bill sought to limit the types of classroom discussions teachers can facilitate and would have barred teachers from “endorsing, supporting, or opposing” court cases and presidential actions. The Bangor Daily News reports the bill faced strong opposition and was rejected Thursday by members of the Education and Cultural Affairs Committee.

Republican Rep. Gary Drinkwater says Lockman’s bill was an overreach and any issues about classroom discussions can be handled at a local level.

Republican Rep. Heidi Sampson says the Maine School Management Association has agreed to send letters to school boards about discussing sensitive topics in classrooms.

Read more: https://www.pressherald.com/2019/03/01/maine-bill-banning-teachers-political-speech-in-classrooms-fails/

That's pretty fucked up that that is where we're at in this country that politicians have to start censoring speech because it is getting so out of control. And no, we don't want to go down that road sir! And Maine can't even budget right - they have the same budget aspirations as Trump does, which is throw a whole bunch of cash that you don't have at the subject and hopefully it will go away. Huh, I don't remember that being an economics lesson!

AUGUSTA — Gov. Janet Mills laid out her $8 billion budget before the Legislature on Monday night, arguing for a proposal that expands Medicaid, spends more on the opioid crisis and returns more money to municipalities by telling lawmakers Maine “cannot afford to stand still.”

In the first budget address of her tenure as governor, Mills said that Maine “has many assets but it also has many challenges” as the state lags behind its New England neighbors on economic expansion, income growth and public health. Mills said her two-year, $8 billion budget “moves us forward” by making investments in schools, infrastructure and health initiatives without raising taxes.

“This is a pragmatic, common-sense budget that lives within our means and that delivers what Maine people want,” said Mills, a former attorney general and Democratic state lawmaker who is Maine’s first female governor.

... snip ...

“Paul LePage said teachers are ‘a dime a dozen.’ Shawn Moody lost the election when he said Maine schools are ‘overfunded.’ Based on the reactions of the Republicans to Governor Mills’ budget speech tonight, they’ve clearly learned nothing,” House Majority Leader Matt Moonen, D-Portland, tweeted shortly after Mills’ speech.
https://www.centralmaine.com/2019/02/11/mills-lays-out-8-billion-budget-proposal-before-lawmakers/

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer! Kentucky easily routes Maine to advance to the next round of the tournament. Final score - 85 - 61, they win by a whopping 24 points!

[font size="4"]Idaho Vs Oregon [/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho[/font]

This is the first time we've seen the great state of Idaho in the tournament. Yes, the home of Boise State's infamous blue football field is home to a lot of guns. And guess what? They're not afraid to use them either! So what makes them one of the hottest states in the union that they can go and brandish their guns wherever they please? Well concealed carry is a hot topic in the Gem State but don't let that fool you into thinking that they are anti-gun. They are very much pro gun to the point where restaurateurs have to start chasing them out of public places!

Chef John Berryhill was surprised that a brief interaction he had with a small group of restaurant patrons about their guns on Feb. 21 resulted in a social media firestorm — and he said he appreciates all the support he’s received over the past week from customers.
“The whole social media thing is just huge,” he said Friday night. “There were thousands and thousands and thousands of comments from Twitter to Instagram to Facebook.”
Business has been brisk as usual at Bacon, despite a state lawmaker’s call for a boycott last weekend, Berryhill said. He’s said he’s not anti-gun, but he’s considering putting up a sign to let customers know that he does not want open carry in his restaurant.
“People have been carrying concealed weapons here for a long time, and it doesn’t bother us because you don’t know,” he said, noting that several of his friends have recently told him they conceal carry.
https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/northwest/idaho/article227014284.html

Yeah so that's how gun crazy Idaho is. But what happened with that controversial bill that would have allowed anyone with a carry permit to allow guns in schools? Well thankfully that died on the house floor, but it will be back. Yes, just like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons, this subject will refuse to go away quietly. I'm sure Trump will weigh in at some point, and when he does you can guarantee that he'll take the unpopular opinion because that's how he rolls. But for now...

A bill that would have allowed anyone with an enhanced concealed carry permit to carry guns at Idaho public schools is dead, at least for now.
House Bill 203 will not get a hearing in the Idaho House of Representatives State Affairs Committee, according to committee Chairman Rep. Steven Harris (R-Meridian).
“The bill will not be heard this year,” he wrote in an email. “This will allow more time for stakeholder involvement.”
However, the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Chad Christensen (R-Ammon) said he’s still working on the bill, though he wouldn’t specify what he might be doing to revive it.
“The chairman has cancelled the hearing,” he wrote. “However there are some things in the works.”
https://www.boisestatepublicradio.org/post/proposed-guns-schools-bill-dead-idaho-house#stream/0

[font size="4"]Oregon[/font]

Now you might be thinking "Hey wait a minute, Oregon is a blue state!". Well, the Beaver State is a blue state the same way that Maine is a blue state. In that they have a lot of areas that vote blue, but once you get outside, there's plenty of heat packing MAGA nuts to satisfy any Trump fan. Oregon may be the home to the Trailblazers and the Oregon Ducks, but they're also home to some pistol packing militia groups such as Patriot Prayer, the III%ers, and the Oath Keepers! Which begs the question - what are they keeping an oath to? Well they're proposing a controversial bill that would allow cities to become sanctuary cities for hardcore gun nuts!

A new kind of gun law is on the ballot in 10 Oregon counties this year. The so-called “Second Amendment Preservation Ordinances” would give those county sheriffs the authority to determine if state and federal gun laws are constitutional and bar county resources from being used to enforce them.
The measures represent a new legal strategy from gun rights groups.
“It’s a brand-new approach,” said Rob Taylor, an Oregon gun rights activist who is pushing these ordinances. “It’s something that really hasn’t been tried in a lot of places.”
Taylor runs the Committee for the Preservation of the Second Amendment. The group wrote and shepherded the ballot measure to Election Day with help of the Oregon chapters of militia groups like the Oath Keepers and the Three Percenters.
https://www.opb.org/news/article/gun-rights-county-ordinance-oregon-militia-douglas-county/

Yeah so sanctuary cities for guns! What a great idea! And you know what else Oregon is the home of? The Bundy Militia! Yes, the discount gun humping cowboy mafia that was recently pardoned by Trump because, owning the libs, has been under scrutiny since that infamous pardon. And in fact, even Bundy himself has got tired of the movement that he started!

Ammon Bundy, the rancher at the center of a 2016 standoff with the government at an Oregon wildlife preserve, said he is leaving the militia movement after criticizing President Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric.
Bundy shut down his social media accounts and announced that he was stepping away from “patriot groups,” BuzzFeed News reported Thursday.
He said the decision comes after he faced fierce backlash for opposing Trump’s attacks on a caravan of migrants.
"It's like being in a room full of people in here, trying to teach, and no one is listening," he told the outlet. "The vast majority seemed to hang on to what seemed like hate, and fear, and almost warmongering, and I don't want to associate myself with warmongers."
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/420224-ammon-bundy-leaves-militia-movement-after-ripping-trump-over

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Man this was a close one that came down to the wire... and we might have our first upset of the tournament brewing here. And the winner is... OREGON!!! OREGON WINS!!! A last second 3 pointer knocks favored front runner Idaho out of the tournament and Oregon moves on. What an upset! The crowd is stunned here at Wells Fargo Center!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

For Round 1 Week 2, we're live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in fabulous Las Vegas for the hot 2nd round action! It's a rematch from last year as Wisconsin goes for broke against Nevada's gaming industry, while Indiana faces off against tournament newcomer Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rival Sons[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Long Beach. You can see them on tour through April including a sold out show at the Henry Fonda Theater on May 9th, their latest album is called “Feral Roots”. Playing their song “Too Bad”, give it up for Rival Sons!

Thank you UCB Theater for our 3 week homestand! We’re off to Atlanta next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
Stupidest State Hosting: Wells Fargo Arena, Phoenix, AZ
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

March 9, 2019

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

NO!!!! You don't call someone a pedophile because you don't like them. It's the worst kind of character assassination possible. Instead you give them the finger and tell them to fuck off like a rational person would!

*audience applauds wildly*

This week the Top 10 is all new live from our home in Hollywood with the famous Wheel Of Corruption! We delve into the GOP's super secret underground elite pedophile ring, Trump gives special FEMA favors to states that voted for him, we ask how Jared Kushner's security clearance is still a thing, we break down the R. Kelly interview, and Leaving Neverland divides Michael Jackson fans. We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - can Stormy Daniels make it as a stand up comedian? Yeah we thought so too. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at an epic Go Fund Me scam and tell you how you can avoid getting scammed on the crowdfunding website. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is stunned that the unholy Dark One is signing copies of the Good Book! Seriously, WTF!!! Plus we also have an all new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and sing the final swan song for Blockbuster Video, which is down to just one location. What's going to happen to Russell Crowe's jockstrap? And it's finally time! Stupidest State 2019 is finally here! We kick off the 1st round action live from Phoenix, where Kentucky takes on Maine for the Batshit Crown, while hot newcomer Idaho brings their big guns to the dance against Oregon! Plus we have some live music from Rival Sons!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion

March 6, 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Hey websites, please stop asking me to read your updated privacy policy involving cookies because we both know that ain’t happening. Welcome back everyone! Ooh and it’s my favorite segment of the year – time for our annual Stupidest State selection Sunday! Whew!!! OK… so I’m always one to try new things but this reminds me of a classic scene from the Simpsons. Do we have time for the thing? OK so I don’t know if you have seen this viral Twitter post or not but there’s an Uber driver based out of Seattle that’s received a lot of attention for his controversial “ride menu”. And the menu consists of 5 options – the Stand Up ride, where he tells you about some crazy stories he’s been involved in. Then there’s the silent option – where obviously he and you both shut up for the entire ride. That would personally be my pick as long as I could put my headphones on and listen to music. Then there’s the Charlie Brown-esque “Therapy Ride” where he plays psychiatrist and listens to your personal problems. Not my thing but I’m sure there’s people out there like that. Then there’s my favorite – the “Creepy Ride” where you don’t say anything and he stares at you super creepy like during the entire ride. But I really want to see “The Rude Ride”, where he is extremely rude to you the entire ride. Oh I so badly want to know what the “Rude Ride” is like, because you know me, I go for comedy. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into what’s really coming to take your jobs, and it ain’t illegal immigrants.

Wow, where do we begin this week? Well to start with, Trump’s fixer, Michael Cohen (1) turned the tables on the Mueller investigation and not only squealed, squealed hard on his former boss, we will tell you all about that. Taking the second slot this week, is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) and well, he went to North Korea and threw the parents of Otto Warmbier under the bus while praising Kim Jong Un. Yeah that happened. For the third slot this week, we have to talk about CPAC. Yes, there was a ton of batshit crazy in one room at the annual conference that gives conservatives a platform to say “fuck you liberalism”. In the number 4 slot, everyone’s favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones was on the Joe Rogan podcast and it was quite the stuff of insanity (think Tracy Jordan’s interview with Larry King on 30 Rock level of crazy) and we will break it all down for you. Taking the 5th slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week – California does everything better including our natural disasters, and two towns are literally drowning in it, in a piece called “The Flooded City”. For the 6th slot this week, we have of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week, our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive and go behind the scenes on a controversial new anti-abortion movie being distributed called “Unplanned” and it’s crazy. Taking the 7th slot this week, we have a new installment of “Beating A Dead Horse” – so Trump wants to sign an executive order for free speech after a TP USA recruiter got punched in the face at UC Berkeley, but like all things he does, it could be a colossal disaster and backfire on him big time. For the number 8 slot this week, we have a new segment – “What’s Up With France?” because we’ve been meaning to get to the Yellow Jacket protests for some time, so we will do that this week! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have one of our favorite segments and it’s “People Are Dumb” but this week it’s the “Hey, drink less” version of People Are Dumb. And finally it’s my favorite time of year! It’s that time of year when we throw the doors open to our Stupidest State contest! And this week it’s Selection Sunday! Yes, we will have all the teams, stats, odds, and info that you need to fill out your bracket, and we do encourage gambling here! Plus we have some live music from the Fever 333! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]CPAC Recap: A Whole Lotta Batshit Crazy
[br] [/font] [br]

Whew. So…. That happened. In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I’m talking about the annual “fuck you liberalism” convention known as the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. There’s a lot to unpack here, you know, kind of like when you’re moving a medium size business to a new location. Wait, when did we have an electric typewriter? Yeah it’s that kind of unpacking – it’s full of surprises and we’re still finding out things that we didn’t know we had. I mean fuck, we actually had *THIS*:

Here we have it. Somehow conservatives take more offense to kneeling in front of the flag as opposed to treating it like your fuck buddy on the side. Because really, you can't unsee this and it's more offensive than what Colin Kaepernick did. Thank you! But moving on, This might be my favorite thing Trump has said so far.

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1101909407041024000

Yes, he actually made the claim that democrats want a train to Hawaii. Funny, I don’t remember that being part of the party platform! And we’re the crazy ones? GTFO!! By the way if you want a rundown of the crazies things Trump said in his 2 hour rant, there’s this:

38. "You know, somebody said, 'Oh, the speech you made, sir, the State of the Union speech was incredible.' They said it was incredible. They said that was so great."
Who is this "somebody"?
39. "I didn't want to get it approved for a certain reason, because I thought somebody treated me very badly. Very badly. Don't get that vote very often. And I said, you know, I don't want to get it."
Trump is making clear here that he is not happy that he helped get drilling in ANWR approved because Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R) wanted it to happen and he didn't want her to get something she wanted. Because she doesn't vote with him enough. Totally fine!
40. "By the way, you know I'm building the wall. We're finishing the wall. We got a lot of money. It's in the thing."
It is, indeed, in the thing.
41. "We have people in Congress that hate our country."
WOW WOW WOW.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/04/politics/donald-trump-cpac-speech/index.html

Damn straight! Then we had a meeting of Jerry Falwell Jr and Donald Trump Jr, or the meeting of the rich entitled fuckwads who’ve never had to work a day in their life:

Today, CPAC featured a remote panel discussion held at Liberty University that largely consisted of L.U. president and sycophantic Trump supporter Jerry Falwell Jr. interviewing Donald Trump Jr. Though the panel also featured Falwell’s wife, Becki, Trump Jr.’s girlfriend and Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle, and Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk, the discussion was completely dominated by Falwell Jr. and Trump Jr., both of whom griped that Democrats had intentionally scheduled a congressional hearing featuring President Trump’s former personal attorney, Michael Cohen, to coincide with the summit that Trump was attending with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un in order to undermine the president.

Falwell Jr. said that if President Obama had been attending such a summit and Republicans had scheduled such a hearing, “everybody would be screaming, ‘That’s treason, you’re working against the United States’ chance to get peace with a nuclear power.'”

“Think about what that does when the other side is seeing that going on simultaneously,” Trump Jr. agreed. “You’re going to have a good negotiation with that going on in the background? But that’s the reality. The left hates Donald Trump much more than they love America. They would rather see failed nuclear peace talks than give Donald Trump even a little bit of a win.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/donald-trump-jr-the-left-hates-donald-trump-much-more-than-they-love-america/

No, dipshit, we hate Trump because we love America, and Trump is burning down everything that makes this country great. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is going, look no further than Glenn Beck, seen here doing his best impression of Col. Sanders, where the GOP is taking this country, and well, they’re deranged. I mean seriously they cant even get their horror movie villains right:

Glenn Beck kicked things off at CPAC this morning by attempted to explain the horrors of socialism by likening it to the “Friday The 13th” horror movie series.

“If socialism were a movie, socialism would be ‘Friday The 13th,'” he said, “because it seems to always stalk college co-eds who all think that the death and violence is just a scary story that never happened. And they are so convinced that it will never happen to them that they mock the old person—the one person in town who saw it first hand—they call him crazy, a nut who still believes in ghost stories.”

“And then, they’re all dead,” Beck continued. “And then Jason, his body disappears, and only the old guy who saw it coming saw that the body is gone. And we have sequel after sequel, it happens time and again, in movie theater after movie theater, and in country after country.”

“Stop trying to hook up in some cabin in the woods and prepare, because Jason is coming,” Beck warned. “He’s right behind you, and this time he’s coming with a hammer and a sickle.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/glenn-beck-socialism-is-just-like-the-friday-the-13th-movies/

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

The guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, had quite the week. We already saw how completely unhinged he was at CPAC (and the democrats are the crazy ones, right…

). But we got to talk about the other thing he did which was meet with murderous psychopathic dictator Kim Jong Un, who Trump calls a “swell guy!!”. The greatest ever! What, are they gonna bone? Bump uglies? Well the bromance between the two was in full swing in Hanoi last week:

With nervous world capitals looking on, President Donald Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un are beginning their second nuclear summit with a one-on-one discussion and an intimate dinner as hard questions swirl about what the American president will demand and Pyongyang might be willing to give up.

The two leaders and their aides encamped in Hanoi after long journeys by plane, train and automobile — Trump on Air Force One, Kim in an armored railcar and limousine — for two days of talks addressing perhaps the world’s biggest security challenge: Kim’s nuclear program that stands on the verge of realistically threatening targets around the planet.

Although many experts are skeptical Kim will give up the nuclear weapons he likely sees as his best guarantee of continued rule, there was a palpable, carnival-like excitement among many in Hanoi as final preparations were made for Wednesday’s summit opening. There were also huge traffic jams in the already congested streets.

Trump was opening his visit in morning meetings with Vietnam’s president and prime minister before turning his attention to Kim. Official greetings with the normally reclusive leader will give way to a short one-on-one discussion before what’s being described as a social dinner with an exclusive guest list. The White House said Trump will be joined at the dinner by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney. Kim, too, will have two aides with him, and there will be translators for each side.
https://www.apnews.com/872da8b73d8f4b35a41f6a904b9e55f3

So Trump is cozying up to murderous dictators like Kim Jong Un. Now you might be thinking “HEY! That sounds straight out of Russia’s playbook!” Well, the answer to that question is – you are absolutely correct about that!

Moscow confirmed plans Monday for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to visit Russia for a meeting, the details of which are still unclear.

"There is no clarity now. The contacts have been ongoing through diplomatic channels. Indeed, this visit is on the agenda and there was an invitation," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters, according to Russian news agency TASS. "We hope that in the near future the exact date and venue will be agreed on through diplomatic channels."

Russian President Vladimir Putin said earlier that Kim had been invited to Russia, although he has not given details on what the leaders planned to discuss, according to TASS.

The North Korean leader finished his second summit with President Trump in Hanoi, Vietnam, last week.
https://thehill.com/policy/international/russia/432541-kremlin-confirms-plans-for-kim-jong-un-to-visit-russia

Yes that’s Putin’s playbook all right! But the big message we got here was Trump’s treatment of Otto Warmbier. Remember him? Well, by cozying up to Un, Trump is basically throwing Mr. Warmbier’s parents under the bus. Just like he did with the parents of Katie Steinle. Guess that’s part of the art of the deal? Well it’s a bit more complicated than that.

When Otto Warmbier was returned to the United States in 2017 and died shortly afterward, President Donald Trump condemned the North Korean regime for the imprisonment and suspected torture of the college student who was arrested in 2015 for alleged spying.

"You are powerful witnesses to a menace that threatens our world, and your strength inspires us all," Trump said, addressing Warmbier's parents, during his 2018 State of the Union address. "Tonight, we pledge to honor Otto's memory with American resolve." He added in that same speech: "We need only look at the depraved character of the North Korean regime to understand the nature of the nuclear threat it could pose to America and our allies."

Fast forward to Thursday in Hanoi, when, at a summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, Trump said this of Warmbier and North Korea: "He tells me that he didn't know about it and I will take him at his word." Trump added that Kim "felt badly about it. He felt very badly."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/28/politics/donald-trump-otto-warmbier-kim-jong-un/index.html

Yeah go ahead, stick your thumbs up at that one. The GOP and Trump basically told Otto Warmbier and his parents to go fuck himself. But this will haunt Trump for the remainder of his days. Every presidency has someone like this. But the difference? Before now, none of them had access to social media the way we do in the Trump era.

President Trump on Friday sought to clean up his widely criticized claim that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un did not know about the treatment of U.S. college student Otto Warmbier, saying “I hold North Korea responsible” for Warmbier’s “mistreatment and death.”

In a pair of tweets, Trump claimed that his initial comments at a Thursday news conference following his failed nuclear summit with Kim were “misinterpreted.”

Trump’s new comments, however, do not directly address whether he believes Kim bears responsibility for the death of Warmbier, who died in 2017 shortly after being released from a 17-month stint in a North Korean prison. He had been sentenced to 15 years of hard labor after allegedly stealing a propaganda poster while on a tour of Pyongyang in January 2016.

Asked about Warmbier during his post-summit news conference in Hanoi, Vietnam, Trump said he took Kim at his word that the North Korean leader was unaware of Warmbier’s treatment in prison.

“He knew the case very well. But he knew it later,” Trump said of Kim. “And, you know, you’ve got a lot of people. Big country. Lot of people. And in those prisons and those camps, you have a lot of people. And some really bad things happened to Otto. Some really bad things."
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/432255-trump-says-his-remarks-on-warmbier-were-misinterpreted

[font size="8"]Michael Cohen
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Trump is a classic mob boss. He’s got his ass kissers (Hannity, etc), his unhinged attorney (Giuliani), he’s got his clean up guys (the Christian right), and he’s also got people who are his fixers. One such guy is his former attorney Michael Cohen. We’ve previously covered Michael Cohen squealing against his former boss in Idiots #5-22. If that’s the Art Of The Squeal, think of this as its’ next logical sequel, The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder.

A lawyer for Michael Cohen first broached the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump's legal team, two people familiar with the matter tell NBC News, and the ensuing pardon discussions are now under examination by House and Senate intelligence committees.

The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that Cohen’s lawyer, Stephen Ryan, first mentioned the idea of a pardon with the Trump legal team in the weeks after the April raid on Cohen’s home and office, and that the president’s lawyers, including Jay Sekulow, Rudy Giuliani and Joanna Hendon, dismissed the idea. But at least one of them, Giuliani, left open the possibility that the president could grant Cohen one in the future, the Journal reported.

NBC News spoke to three people, one of whom is familiar with what Cohen told the House and Senate intelligence committees, one of whom is familiar with Cohen’s account, and one of whom is familiar with the account of Trump’s legal team.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/michael-cohen-s-lawyer-was-first-bring-pardon-trump-attorneys-n979576

Yes that is a good question! We all know that Trump has the worst attorneys and Michael Cohen is no exception. But what this does bring into question is how much did this hurt Trump? Well if you’re guessing very little to no damage, you’re probably correct.

Poet Maya Angelou made a lot of profound remarks during her literary career. But the one that has always stuck with me is what she said indirectly about apologies.

“When people show you who they are, believe them,” she once said. When quoting Angelou, most people just end it there. Out of context, the statement begs an answer to whether an apology can reverse what someone has shown himself to be.

We have been asked to forgive a lot of people lately. Along with Roseanne Barr, the most difficult for me has been Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer and self-proclaimed henchman.

If we are to believe him, Cohen did Trump’s dirty work for 12 years, acting as the go-between for questionable activities targeting anyone who stood in the way of the businessman’s quest to make an extra dollar. Now, Cohen says he is sorry.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/glanton/ct-met-dahleen-glanton-michael-cohen-liar-trust-20190304-story.html

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But here’s where it gets weird, because, why wouldn’t it? Michael Cohen apparently sought a pardon from Trump last year and Trump wouldn’t give it to him. I mean gee, I really wonder why? Usually when you turn against a mob boss, the first priority is to give you the cement shoes, not a get out of jail free card!

An attorney for Michael Cohen raised the idea of a pardon with President Donald Trump’s lawyers after federal authorities raided Cohen’s residence and office in April, The Wall Street Journal reported, citing people familiar with the talks.

Congress is now investigating those conversations, documents requested by the House Judiciary Committee revealed on Monday, the Journal said.

The pardon discussions happened as Cohen’s attorney at that time, Stephen Ryan, was working with Trump’s lawyers to determine whether documents seized by the FBI during the April raid were protected by attorney-client privilege, sources told the Journal.

The report comes days after Cohen told lawmakers on Capitol Hill last week that he never asked for a pardon from Trump, and that he would not accept one. The Journal article noted there was no evidence that Cohen himself asked for a pardon or was aware of the alleged pardon discussions.
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/05/michael-cohens-attorney-approached-trumps-lawyers-about-a-pardon-wsj.html

Yeah but the bottom line here is don’t squeal. I mean you know the old elementary school adage about how snitches get stitches. Just… don’t go there. But if you do go there, just make sure you have backup otherwise your boss will go down with the ship, and take you with him!

Analysts are still picking through all the crimes in which Michael Cohen directly implicated his former boss, President Donald Trump. Among the most significant crimes are those offences that were part of the articles of impeachment written for prior presidents. That historically notorious list includes acts of suborning perjury and obstructing justice, which can arise from either directing or encouraging a person to lie to federal authorities. It is for this reason that Cohen is apparently now searching through different electronic versions of his draft congressional testimony from 2017 to show that Trump’s other personal lawyers at the time edited Cohen’s written testimony to mislead Congress.

If and when those drafts are presented to Congress, it will be important to scan not only for what they said about the Moscow Tower deal, but also the passages on “collusion” more broadly. That’s because Cohen also testified last week that the President told Cohen, who was also one of Trump’s personal lawyers at the time, to lie to Congress in 2017 about his knowledge or beliefs about collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
https://www.justsecurity.org/62785/trump-told-cohen-lie-congress-collusion-general-not-moscow-tower-deal/

[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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It’s been a while since we checked in with our old buddy Alex Jones, who has gone considerably more and more off the deep end. It’s like that superhero movie where everyone has a point where they hit rock bottom. Deadpool 2 had a great bit about this. “It’s like in the Human Centipede, when those people signed on to be in that movie”. This may be no human centipede, but it’s definitely what one might call a clusterfuck. So, Alex Jones wouldn’t exist without Joe Rogan, and Joe Rogan wouldn’t exist without Alex Jones. Well, the two have been in a ridiculous feud over the last month and it is quite magical. Here’s how it started.

"I came here, and I proved they're keeping babies alive and taking their organs," Jones said. "The Senate voted Monday to keep it legal...They f***ing did it, Bravo. And you can't f***ng admit they're killing already-born kids, so you're telling me it isn't real when they had a f***ing vote in the god***n f***ing Senate."

"That's a conspiracy theory," Bravo responds.

"I am ready to beat your f***ing ass," Jones answers. "You think you're f***ing tough, you're about to get it. Bull***t, they're killing already-born babies. Stop f***ing lying, god f***ing d***it. I'm getting pissed now."

Bravo later said he believed that politicians were campaigning for late-term abortions. "I'm being the ultimate skeptic."

When contacted for comment, an InfoWars representative sent Newsweek articles about late-term abortion, including a Slate report dating to 2012. "I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are simply ignorant, and not malicious or mentally challenged. Please educate yourself before you accuse people of promoting conspiracy theories, and maybe We The People will start respecting you, instead of holding you in derision and contempt for being fake news," the representative wrote. "This was already a thing in 2012."
https://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-joe-rogan-war-meltdown-conspiracy-theory-baby-organs-harvested-1347887

Whew. That escalated quickly! And what is it with these guys and child molesters? It seems like everything comes back to that. Think of it like 6 Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is a satanic interdimensional child molestor! So like all celebrity feuds, it escalated very quickly.

Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing.

I suppose this turn from the former pals was destined once Jones got 86'd from every respectable content mill on the Internet and thus became a little too hot to handle. Jones will yell at anyone (dead children included) if it’s good for business, and his totalizing worldview—or, rather, the totalizing worldview he hustles to the saddest and most gullible people online—dictates that anyone opposed to him is an agent of George Soros or the deep state or the gay frogs or whatever.

Jones and Rogan have, by their own admissions, been friends or at least acquaintances since the early 2000s, and they’ve appeared on each other’s shows (I don’t know the context for this picture, but it’s tremendous.) The trouble started last summer, shortly before Jones was banned. In a podcast with Dave Rubin last June, Rogan was critical of Jones’s Sandy Hook truthering (of which he says he was unaware when Jones came on his show in 2017) as well as muffuletta-brained conspiracy theorist Roseanne Barr’s insistence that Holocaust survivor George Soros was a Nazi.
https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/alex-joness-feud-with-joe-rogan-is-just-as-stupid-as-it-1832631491

Yeah Alex probably needs to stop talking. Especially when he and Joe Rogan kissed and made up and Joe Rogan invited Alex over to his podcast, and well, he went off the rails. I mean was he smoking some good covfefe or bad covfefe? I don’t know, don’t ask me how that shit works!

As Alex spluttered his way through his misunderstanding of news headlines and sci-fi stories, Rogan nodded along, assuring Jones that he wasn’t mocking him. “I believe you,” was the most Rogan had to add to this conversation, other than validating Jones’ sob story of facing consequences for labeling the grieving parents of school shooting victims as “crisis actors.”

Jones being barring from Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, along with facing a defamation lawsuit or two, has caused the man to dramatically shift his position on Sandy Hook. But he’s still a firm believer in just about every conspiracy theory out there, with the amusing exception of Flat Earth. As delusional as he is, even Alex Jones knows the shape of the world.

Listening to Jones’ barrage of mouth diarrhea, an imaginative blend of Nazis, aliens, human-animal hybrids, psychedelics and pedophilia, one is left only with an impression that we live in a terrifying, chaotic world, crushed under the weight of the rich and powerful.

Really, that concept isn’t too far removed from the truth; all Jones does is add some sci-fi and fantasy elements to the mix, supported by his insanely energetic delivery. He’s a storyteller, his worldview not too dissimilar from the overarching plotline of the Marvel universe, a tale of aliens, gods, and intelligent machines, albeit with an extremely sinister undertone of racial IQ pseudoscience.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danidiplacido/2019/02/28/alex-jones-and-joe-rogan-made-peace-with-a-bizarre-podcast/#544193327da3

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Flooded City
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

California just does everything better. Including our natural disasters. You may have tornadoes and hurricanes. We have intense rains, floods, fires, mudslides, and the possibility of disastrous earthquakes and tsunamis, both of which we’ve been warned about since the dawn of time. And for our troubles, what does president Donald Trump give us? Basically a rock while his favorite states get the A+ treatment. Yes, this is a real thing. And what happens? He ignores disasters like this. Recent downpours in the Central Valley, near the Russian River area of the state, have turned the life of two cities upside down and inside out as intense flooding has led to this.

The raging Russian River, swollen to near its highest level in a quarter-century, flooded 2,000 homes, killing at least one person and turning parts of two northern California towns into "islands," this week, forcing residents to use kayaks and canoes instead of cars.

After reaching its crest of 45.3 feet late Wednesday — about 15 feet above flood stage — the river slowly receded Thursday.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom declared an emergency for five of the flooded counties. Officials ordered about 3,500 people to evacuate and about 2,000 homes, businesses and other structures were flooded up to 8 feet deep.

Located about 80 miles west of Sacramento, the towns of Guerneville and neighboring Monte Rio were the two hardest-hit communities. Residents paddled kayaks down watery streets on Thursday, but people should be able to drive to the towns Friday, officials said. Another half inch of rain may fall in the North Bay late Friday and early Saturday, the National Weather Service said, but not enough to significantly raise main rivers.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/02/28/california-flooding-raging-russian-river-turns-2-towns-into-islands/3013348002/

Yes so there’s two towns – Guernville and Monte Rio, both of which have been cut off and are now only accessible by boat. Thanks to the Russian River being at the highest level that it’s been in decades, maybe even a century. But people close to the ciites have painted a far grimmer portrait of what life is like in these towns.

The Russian River rose to its highest level in a generation late Wednesday, flooding storm-battered neighborhoods up and down the main stem and turning several lower river towns into islands disconnected from the rest of Sonoma County because floodwater and mudslides closed major roads.

Thousands of people were displaced as the roiling river escaped its banks and flattened into a broad expanse of brown plasma that swept through vineyards, riverside neighborhoods and other low-lying areas, swamping cars and picking up all kinds of debris, including a dumpster and port-a-potties seen carried away in the swift current.

The river crested at 45.5 feet at 10 p.m. after three days of staggering rainfall that in the wettest areas west of Healdsburg surpassed 20 inches.

Even Santa Rosa boasted a three-day total of 8.76 inches from the atmospheric river that stalled overhead, the National Weather Service said.

The resulting flood is now on record as the worst since New Year’s Day 1997, during which the river rose to 45 feet in Guerneville, and the sixth worst since 1940. The largest flood recorded occurred in 1986, when the lower river there crested at 49.5 feet.
https://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/9329310-181/flood-waters-cut-off-russian

Unfortunately that didn’t really happen though. The reality of this is far worse than you might think. But if you think the worst is yet to happen, you haven’t seen anything yet. We have more than the worst possible outcome ahead of us. What we are seeing in Guernville and Monte Rio is only the beginning, expect things to get much worse.

Major flooding along the Russian River in Sonoma County, California, has prompted evacuations and left two towns accessible only by boat.

County officials issued a mandatory evacuation order for the Russian River area, following a massive mudslide near Monte Rio on Tuesday.

A state of emergency was declared for Sonoma, Amador, Glenn, Lake and Mendocino Counties on Thursday following the destructive flooding and mudslides.

Following relentless rainfall, the Russian River quickly surpassed major flood stage early Wednesday. On Wednesday night, the river exceeded 45 feet - nearly 14 feet above flood stage. The river is now receding.

A slow-moving storm moved into the West Coast, and brought heavy rainfall that has occurred over northern and central California [Monday and Tuesday], according to AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Frank Strait.
https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/thousands-of-homes-businesses-flooded-as-water-levels-on-russian-river-in-california-begin-to-recede/70007561

That is more like it. And if you do live in an area that’s prone to intense flooding, you might want to come prepared as well, it could get worse. And there’s no amount of Go Fund Me or insurance you can get that could possibly fix what’s about to happen. Insurance may cover your house and all of your possessions, but what happens if your entire town is fucked? Be prepared, because the worst is yet to come!

Scientists call it California’s “other big one,” and they say it could cause three times as much damage as a major earthquake ripping along the San Andreas Fault.

Although it might sound absurd to those who still recall five years of withering drought and mandatory water restrictions, researchers and engineers warn that California may be due for rain of biblical proportions — or what experts call an ARkStorm.

This rare mega-storm — which some say is rendered all the more inevitable due to climate change — would last for weeks and send more than 1.5 million people fleeing as floodwaters inundated cities and formed lakes in the Central Valley and Mojave Desert, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. Officials estimate the structural and economic damage from an ARkStorm (for Atmospheric River 1,000) would amount to more than $725 billion statewide.

In heavily populated areas of the Los Angeles Basin, epic runoff from the San Gabriel Mountains could rapidly overwhelm a flood control dam on the San Gabriel river and unleash floodwaters from Pico Rivera to Long Beach, says a recent analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.
https://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-ln-mega-storm-dam-failure-20190218-story.html

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!! You know we live in troubled times right now and nothing helps you relax more than a good book or film does. And they’re all just entertainment. Or are they? You know our brothers and sisters on the right are planning something in that world because they claim that Hollywood doesn’t speak to them. Well, they are planning a movie called “Unplanned”. Which they claim is a love story that involves abortion. As Deadpool said, all great movies start with a vicious murder don’t they? There is always that. But what is going on with this movie? We shall find out!

Former Planned Parenthood employee turned pro-life advocate Abby Johnson revealed back in September that she was working on a film that would chronicle her journey. This week, Pure Flix released the trailer for “Unplanned,” a movie Johnson hopes will inform and inspire viewers.

“Unplanned” will hit theaters everywhere March 29.

As Faithwire previously reported, the $6 million production was secretly completed in Oklahoma. The low-key filming process was deemed necessary given Johnson’s unpopular testimony — she’s already been sued by Planned Parenthood once.

Former Planned Parenthood Director Reveals Why She’s Desperate for People to Escape the Abortion Industry

Johnson, a former clinic director at Planned Parenthood, quit her practice after watching a procedure take place via ultrasound. In that moment, she realized that what she thought was compassionate women’s health care was really a deceptive industry that harmed and exploited women and children.
https://www.faithwire.com/2019/02/01/pure-flix-drops-trailer-for-highly-anticipated-unplanned-movie/

I mean seriously, guys. This is about as horrible as it gets. Can I get an amen??? And if you want to see something really fucked up guess what kind of rating this movie got? It got an R rating for it contains matter of a sensitive subject and I mean even it makes the good LAWRD cringe!

One of Hollywood’s biggest faith-based film studios has found itself in an unlikely battle with the movie industry’s higher power: The ratings board.

Pure Flix, the Christian-aimed studio behind PG-rated box office hits like God’s Not Dead 2 and The Case for Christ, was recently informed that next month’s anti-abortion drama Unplanned would receive an R rating, the first in the studio’s history. That could make it a tough sell for the company’s traditional family-friendly audience.

According to a report in The Hollywood Reporter, the controversial Unplanned received the rating due to a series of graphic abortion scenes. The R was handed down by the Motion Picture Association of America, the decades-old trade association that’s responsible for providing guidance for theater owners and parents. Most American theaters won’t exhibit films unless they have an official MPAA rating of G, PG, PG-13, or R (an R stipulates that theater owners not allow anyone under 17, unless they’re accompanied by a parent or guardian).

The ratings board includes less than a dozen voting members, all of them parents, who discuss the film after screening it. Filmmakers can contest their rating, but the appeals process can slow a film’s release, and doesn’t always result in a new rating.
http://fortune.com/2019/02/22/mpaa-pure-flix-anti-abortion-film-unplanned-r-rating/

Yes, WTF LOL indeed! So if we extrapolate this, a pregnant teenager can get an abortion but can’t go see a movie about getting an abortion! I mean even the good LAWRD JAYSUS right now is going “Well that’s pretty fucked up!”. And yes we can swear in my church, good sir! And if you cant handle the heat, you really need a safe space. And by the way, if conservative parents need to have movie ratings explained to them, they really need to get out more!

The organization says the R-rating on 'Unplanned' was for "some disturbing/bloody images" and was in no way politically motivated.

Pure Flix Entertainment, the family-friendly label known for distributing God’s Not Dead and a few dozen other movies aimed at Christians, will release its first R-rated film next month — and it is none too happy about having to do so.

The film, Unplanned, tells the true story of Abby Johnson, who defected from Planned Parenthood to become a pro-life activist. While the filmmakers were certain they were making a PG-13 film, the MPAA has informed them that it will, in fact, be rated R unless all scenes of abortions are removed or altered.

The filmmakers are refusing to change anything, putting Pure Flix in the awkward position of having to open an R-rated movie on March 29. The company's other releases, roughly two dozen movies, were all rated G, PG or PG-13.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/mpaas-r-rating-anti-abortion-film-disputed-by-distributor-pure-flix-1189183

So apparently they have no idea how ratings work because they’ve never made a movie with graphic images before. And then, well, do you think Abby Johnson’s story might be, well fabricated? Of course it is, because the film industry lies, and lying is a SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of SINS!!! And that is a no in the eyes of the LAWRD!

At lunchtime on October 5, in the East Texas town of Bryan, a woman walked through the rear door of the Brazos Valley Coalition for Life office, which is one block west of a Planned Parenthood clinic. She was crying. It was the thirteenth day of the Coalition’s annual 40 Days for Life event, in which anti-abortion activists maintain a 24-hour vigil outside the front gate of the clinic, one of the few places in East Texas where a woman can obtain an abortion. The three staffers on duty immediately recognized the woman. It was the clinic’s 29-year-old director, Abby Johnson. “I want out,” she told them. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I know it’s not right.”

Stunned by Johnson’s sudden appearance and concerned about how distraught she seemed, the staffers sat with her, in a room ordinarily used to counsel pregnant women in crisis, until Shawn Carney, the Coalition’s director, arrived. Carney knew Johnson by sight—he had spent a lot of time on the sidewalk in front of the Planned Parenthood clinic—but he had never had a lengthy conversation with her. Carney, who is 27, had begun working at the Coalition as a volunteer, just as Johnson had at Planned Parenthood. Like Johnson, he had quickly been promoted to a position of leadership. Nothing like this had ever happened to him in his short career as an activist, and he could barely contain his excitement.
https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/the-convert/

And that is a good question oh LAWRD!!! There you go! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives want to hold America’s colleges and universities accountable for their choices in freedom of speech issues. Here’s the thing, Nazis, you have every right to say what you want to say just as much as I have a right to call you a Nazi! See what I did there? The thing is, conservatives can cry free speech all they want to, that doesn’t mean that anyone has to pay attention to what you have to say. I mean comedians will tell you that. You can stand up and get in front of a room and say literally anything you want. Does that mean people will listen to you or what you have to say? No, they’re taking pictures of their food and posting them on Instagram! So what has got their underwear in a wad this week?

President Donald Trump vowed Saturday to sign an executive order requiring colleges and universities to "support free speech" in order to be eligible for federal research dollars.
"If they want our dollars, and we give it to them by the billions, they've got to allow people like Hayden and many other great young people and old people to speak," Trump said in part of his two-hour long speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in National Harbor, Maryland.

The President did not offer any more details on the order.

Trump was referring to Hayden Williams, a conservative activist who recently made headlines after he was allegedly punched in the face at the University of California Berkeley earlier this week. The President brought Williams out as he made the announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, he took a hard punch in the face for all of us," Trump said.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/02/politics/trump-executive-order-colleges-free-speech/index.html

Oh oh please go on!!! See, America’s colleges and universities are places of inclusion, and they don’t want your messages of hate. If you start preaching hate, you’re gonna get punched in the face, it’s a fact of life, Trump, and the sooner you face that the better. Now if you extrapolate this, let’s take a look at the incident that got Mr. Williams punched in the face:

A 28-year-old man has been arrested on a felony warrant in Berkeley after a search for the person who assaulted a conservative man on UC Berkeley’s campus, authorities said.

Zachary Greenberg was arrested Friday and was being held in Alameda County jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon likely to produce great bodily injury, according to the university.

Greenberg allegedly approached Hayden Williams on Feb. 19 in Sproul Plaza as Williams stood in front of a table for the conservative group Turning Point USA.

According to a viral video of the incident, Williams began filming the altercation and was shoved and punched in the face by the man authorities later identified as Greenberg.
https://www.sfchronicle.com/crime/article/Man-arrested-for-punching-conservative-at-UC-13656686.php

Whoa whoa whoa… Turning Point USA is still a thing? You mean those guys who got ridiculed for wearing diapers at Kent State? Those people? Why am I not surprised? And why am I also not surprised that Trump has made this his pet cause? Well let’s expand on what was being said that led him to getting punched. Yeah I know it’s Fox News, but fuck it, I’ve got a show to do here!

Hayden Williams, 26, who was assaulted while helping recruit conservatives at U-C Berkeley, told Fox News that places of higher learning are aggressively hostile to diversity of thought.

“I can tell you firsthand, over the past few months I’ve been doing this, and this is a very disturbing trend at multiple universities across the country,” he said Monday on “The Todd Starnes Show” about the xenophobia that conservatives are experiencing on college campuses.

Two men last Tuesday approached his table at the University of California, Berkeley where the activist was recruiting members to the conservative group Turning Point USA, although he is not a member himself. An argument ensued and Williams held up his cell phone and began filming the two men who were allegedly harassing him.

One of the two men knocked over the table, police said, and then punched Williams several times, causing injuries to his face. Much of the incident was captured on a witness’ cellphone.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/activist-assaulted-at-berkeley-says-campuses-embedded-with-culture-of-hostility-to-conservatives

There really is a Simpsons GIF for everything! And you know here’s the thing – assault, even if you’re punching a Nazi, isn’t cool. And neither is this. Trump could open a huge can of worms that wasn’t meant to be open by signing this order, because guess what? Freedom of speech applies to both sides! I have a right to freedom of speech as much as you do. But Trump doesn’t care, he thinks he is only president of Fox News viewers and that’s about it. What do actual colleges think of this? Well, it could be a disaster!

President Trump's announcement of an executive order that threatens to cut off federal research money from colleges that do not support free speech has drawn criticism from different corners of academe, including proponents of campus speech, like Robert J. Zimmer, president of the University of Chicago and an avid free-speech champion.

This past weekend Trump announced his plan for the executive order at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. He presented the plan after discussing an incident in which a volunteer with the conservative group Turning Point USA, Hayden Williams, was punched in the face last month in the middle of Sproul Plaza, at the University of California at Berkeley.

In an email to the Chicago campus expressing his concern, Zimmer wrote that the executive order "would be a grave error for the short and the long run."

"I believe that any action by the executive branch that interferes with the ability of higher-education institutions to address this problem themselves is misguided and in fact sets a very problematic precedent," Zimmer wrote.
https://www.chronicle.com/article/U-of-Chicago-President-Says/245817?cid=wcontentlist_hp_latest

[font size="8"]What’s Up With France?
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Oui, oui!!! Welcome, misour and madam. Because we are going to find out exactly what is going on with the riots in Paris. We are going to find out what is going on in Gay Pariee! Because the French people are not happy with their president, and are fueled by hate on social media. Oh fuck it, I cannot do a proper French accent. But I am wearing this ridiculous artist getup because we got to talk about what the fuck is up with France. So before we get into what’s going on exactly, who are the Yellow Jackets and what do they want?

President Emmanuel Macron is once again finding that the French do not respond well to reform.

Thousands of demonstrators known as "Yellow Jackets" due to their fluorescent garb descended into the streets across France over the weekend to protest planned tax hikes on gas.

In Paris, the rallies turned violent Saturday with blazes set on the world-famous Champs-Élysées avenue while masked protesters waved the French flag. Police responded to skirmishes with water cannons and tear gas. More than 100 people were arrested.

<snip>

The “Yellow Jacket” activists — named after the neon vests French drivers are obliged to carry in their vehicles in the case of roadside emergencies — want Macron to call off the tax increases.

Motorists have blocked highways across the country since Nov. 17, setting up barricades and deploying conveys of slow-moving trucks.

Around 280,000 protested in the streets across the country that day, with 106,000 people attending rallies on Saturday, according to French Interior Minister Christophe Castaner.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/who-are-france-s-yellow-jacket-protesters-what-do-they-n940016

Well that is a good question! Apparently these guys are. It started all over a tax and then somehow the original meaning of the protests got lost. But how ugly is it getting? Well it’s veering dangerously into ape territory as feces are being flung at law enforcement officials, which goes to answer the old grade school question “who flung poo?” Well these guys did!

Furious protesters threw human waste in bags at police, with up to three officers reported to have been covered in the excrement during a violent clash. Police trade union official Rudy Manna said: “Three policemen were soaked through with it. “The policemen were deeply humiliated.” He added those responsible were among 1,000 protesters and could not be identified as a result.

The incident happened on Saturday when the officers hit were attempting to shepherd protesters away from a public area in Marseille, southern France.

Local police in Marseille confirmed the disturbing claims, and added one policeman even suffered an elbow injury when hit by a “poop-filled projectile”.

Similar incidents have also been reported during Yellow Vest protests around France.

Police said on social media demonstrators have been arming themselves with “cacatovs”, Molotov cocktails but filled with caca.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/1095524/yellow-vest-protesters-france-human-faeces-police-Rudy-Manna-emmanuel-macron-fuel-hike

Oh sure it’s all harmless fun until poop and Molotov cocktails are involved. I get the Molotov cocktails – the melee weapon of choice, but why do you have to bring poop into it? That just makes you look crazy, and that’s about it. But really this has gone on long enough, but how much worse can it get? Oh it can get a whole lot worse!

For more than three months, Yellow Vest protesters have been demonstrating against French President Emmanuel Macron’s government. For Act 16 of the protests, the Paris local government authorised a route from the Arc de Triomphe to Place Denfert-Rochereau in the south of the city.

The Facebook group “Yellow Vests Act 16: Insurrection”, meanwhile, had called on demonstrators to “go back to the movement’s roots” with the “spontaneous” approach that “scared the government” with undeclared protests at unauthorised sites in November and December.

Demonstrations were also planned in cities throughout France, including Marseille, Nice, Bordeaux, Strasbourg, Nantes and Toulouse. In the northeastern city of Lille, protest organisers called on Yellow Vests throughout the region – as well as in neighbouring countries such as Belgium and Germany – to converge on the city. “The fight is international”, said a statement on the Facebook event page for the Lille demonstrations.

According to Interior Ministry figures, 39,300 Yellow Vest protesters demonstrated nationwide on Saturday, including 4,000 in Paris. The numbers are down slightly from last Saturday, when 46,600 protesters took to the streets across France, including 5,800 in the capital. The official figures are generally disputed by the Yellow Vests.
https://www.france24.com/en/20190302-yellow-vests-protest-france-act-16-paris-gilets-jaunes

Yeah that’s kind of about how it’s going over there in France. Although I do not want to be a downer, there is some good news in all of this. In fact these psychopaths’ protests are actually good for French President Emmanuel Macron, because, guess what? His popularity is increasing because of these protests. Say what?

PARIS (Reuters) - French President Emmanuel Macron’s popularity has recovered to levels not seen since “yellow vest” protests broke out in mid-November as support for movement wanes, a poll showed on Monday.

The share of people who consider Macron a good president rose to 32 percent this month, where his popularity was when the protests first started, the Odoxa poll showed.

His popularity has crept higher since hitting 27 percent - the lowest point so far in his presidency - in December as protesters rampaged through central Paris and other cities smashing windows and burning cars.

Macron has faced the biggest challenge to his authority from the protests, which started over the high cost of living but spread into a broader movement against the 41-year-old former investment banker and his pro-business reform drive.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-france-protests-politics/macrons-popularity-gains-as-yellow-vest-support-wanes-poll-idUSKCN1QE0DX

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And we could do this every week because there’s tons of these stories and they’re all insane. But I want to start with this story coming out of North Carolina. So… Girl Scouts, what’s up? Especially when they work in the freezing cold weather. And this guy thought he was doing a good deed by buying their whole supply of Girl Scout cookies and well, it turned out to have the opposite effect because he was wanted for multiple counts of drug possession.

A good Samaritan who bought a trove of cookies from shivering Girl Scouts on Friday evening was arrested Tuesday on federal drug charges, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration. Detric Lee McGowan was charged with conspiracy to import and distribute fentanyl, heroin and cocaine. He was also charged with racketeering and conspiracy to defraud the United States.

Tuesday's charges are unrelated to McGowan's generosity on Friday, when he bought an entire stock of cookies from Girl Scouts in front of a Greenville, South Carolina, grocery store so the girls wouldn't have to continue standing in the cold.

"Nobody was hurt. Nobody was threatened," Karen Kelly, a vice president of the local Girl Scouts chapter, said in an interview with the Greenville News. "We had no reason to believe that this man was anything other than one of our valuable customers. . . . This is now in the hands of law enforcement and of course we will cooperate with authorities."

Local media reported Tuesday evening that the DEA confirmed McGowan's arrest that day and confirmed he was the man who appeared in the viral social media photo, adding a bizarre coda to a story that was, fleetingly, feel-good.

On Friday, the 8-year-olds were behind the booth for nearly two hours when a man believed to be McGowan exited the BI-LO supermarket. He bought seven boxes of cookies and handed the girls $40, telling them to keep the change, recalled Kayla Dillard, a troop co-leader who was supervising the sale.
https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Man-who-saved-Girl-Scouts-from-the-cold-by-buying-13648816.php

Yeah so maybe if you’re wanted for drug possession, maybe don’t do anything that will get you on the news. You should probably lay low and go to a safe house. Next up – we go to our favorite state of Florida because you know they always bring the crazy. And this is one of those stories “Hey how did that get up there?” Well… here’s your answer!

Wesley Dasher Scott, 40, was busted in early-January on separate warrants charging him with possessing marijuana and drugs without a prescription. While being frisked by an arresting officer, Scott denied having any illegal items hidden on (or in) his body.

However, during a subsequent strip search at the county lockup, Scott "removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them" to a jailer. But while he had fished the items from inside his body, Scott claimed the syringes “were not his.”

Seen above, Scott did not reveal who purportedly owned the needles (or where he supposedly found them). In addition to the existing drug counts, Scott was charged with introducing contraband into a correctional facility, a felony.

But prosecutors subsequently opted not to pursue the contraband charge against Scott. The brief declination notice came as Scott agreed to a plea deal on the pot and prescription drug charges. Scott was sentenced to 40 days in jail and ordered to pay $550 in fines in connection with the misdemeanor convictions.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/contraband/no-charges-for-keistered-contraband-275931

Well that’s a pretty obvious answer to that question! Next up – creepers! And look… here’s the thing if you’re going to be a creeper, there’s no good way to talk yourself out of the situation if you get caught creeping. And if you do get caught, maybe I don’t know, don’t wear anything that’s easily identifiable, like a gorilla costume!

A man allegedly broke into a Louisiana home wearing a gorilla costume and hid under a bed before police arrested him.

The Sulphur Police Department said it got a call about a suspicious person allegedly wearing the get-up, going in and out of yards and peering into homes, according to KDFM. Police identified the man as Jeremie Moran.

When police approached Moran and told him to stop, he allegedly went through the front door of a home. Since the back door was also open, cops initially believed Moran had left the house.

After doing a search, authorities said they found Moran hiding under a mattress, dressed in a gorilla suit. He was arrested and booked on several charges, including resisting an officer, unauthorized entry and meth possession, the Associated Press reported.

It is unclear if Moran has a lawyer.

http://www.cbs8.com/story/40014203/police-bust-man-wearing-a-gorilla-suit-hiding-under-a-mattress

Yeah well he probably already has a lawyer. But really don’t go creeping is the takeaway that you should get from this story. And you know what else is fucked up? This isn’t the first story involving a gorilla suit this week! Because everything is funnier when a gorilla suit is involved. You got marital problems? Put on a gorilla suit. Get in trouble at work? Gorilla suit. And this. Gorilla suit.

Police in Sulphur, a city about 20 miles east of the Texas border, responded Wednesday evening to a call about a suspicious man--dressed in an all-black outfit--prowling around homes and peering into windows.

During a subsequent search of the home, cops found Moran (seen above) beneath a mattress. He was wearing a "black gorilla suit" at the time, investigators say.

Moran tussled with cops trying to handcuff him, but he was eventually subdued and placed under arrest. He was charged with multiple offenses, including unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling, methamphetamine possession, resisting a police officer with violence or force, and wearing a mask or hood in public.

Asked about the defendant's gorilla outfit, a police spokesperson said that "the only reason" Moran would have opted for the costume "was the possibility of the drugs he was using." Cops released the below photo showing a portion of the gorilla costume. (1 page)
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/gorilla-prowler-caged-628403

Finally this week – dumb products. Yes, even products can be dumb. And what’s dumber than combining your favorite breakfast cereal with beer? This reminds me of a classic Simpsons scene from way back in the show’s 5th season. Well, when you see it, you’ll get it.

Do you love Lucky Charms so much that you would like the marshmallowy cereal taste in your beer?

Smartmouth Beer is introducing its Saturday Morning Marshmallow IPA on March 2 in an all-day event that will also showcase trivia and food vendors.

“Join us as we flashback to those Saturday Mornings when you rolled out of bed and were lazy all morning watching your favorite cartoons and playing video or board games. We’ll celebrate those mornings with the release of Saturday Morning IPA that is made with pounds of marshmallows, some of which we toasted, along with tropical fruity Calypso hops. The result is magically ridiculous,” said Smartmouth Beer in a Facebook post.
https://wtvr.com/2019/02/25/lucky-charms-flavored-beer-to-launch-this-weekend/?utm_campaign=trueAnthem:+Trending+Content&utm_content=5c749ee74b73850001dbf9ab&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
[br] [/font] [br]

16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen!!! It is time to commence the 3rd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! Yes, the National For Fuck’s Sake Association is back for yet another year and another round of conservative stupidity and insanity represented from all corners of this great country that we call the United States of America. Of course the winner gets the much coveted DeLay Trophy, named after all time champion coach Tom DeLay took his home state of Texas to a whopping 8 consecutive titles and is known as the winningest ever!

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome welcome welcome!!!! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor to be back for a third year in a row representing this fine organization! We have the four corners of conservatism tanned, rested, and ready to go! Which of course you know by now – are god, guns, greed, and complete batshit insanity. Before we begin, I would like to thank all of our teams for putting up a great regular season and we had some of our best attendance ever. I’d also like to thank last year’s champion Florida for exerting the kind of dominance necessary to win the tournament. Now, let’s get the official business out of the way and explain the rules. For the first four rounds of the tournament, we’ll see two matchups consisting of four teams duking it out for superiority. Then the second round will focus on 8 teams vying for a position in the Final Four – 1 round each. Then we will have two matchups for the final four before heading into our championship. And since we do encourage gambling here, we will provide you with smocking guns (yes, the typo is intentional!) and statistical odds to help you build your bracket and select the winner! Let’s do this thing!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]

The oldest and most distinctive conference in the NFFSA, the Batshit Conference is also the largest conference consisting of a whopping 22 states. These states are all dedicated to flinging the finest guano east and west of the mighty Mississippi. These are the states that elect politicians as crazy as the people in the districts that they represent. There’s plenty of drugs and booze going around and some absolutely crazy stories that come out of these states. The states where election rigging and hanging chads are possible thanks to a voter system that simply, quite frankly, doesn’t care. The Batshit Conference: We don’t care and it shows!

1. Kentucky: Last year’s #2 seed gets upgraded to a number one seed this year! Yes, the Blue Grass State – the state responsible for giving us the two worst senators the United States has ever seen – is back. They are tanned, rested, and ready to tangle with this country’s craziest people and representatives!
Smocking Gun: That MAGA hat wearing kid from the Indigenous People’s March is planning to sue the Washington Post for $250 million! Yes, $250 million!
Odds: 2:1 – The Blue Grass State stacked their team with lots of hot young talent and they are expected to go very far!

2. Maine: The Pine Tree State, the state that gave us notorious flip flopping senator Susan Collins, was noticeably absent from last year’s tournament mainly due to the fact that they finally got rid of batshit crazy former governor Paul LePage. However, Maine, or as they’re known as Canada’s Florida, definitely isn’t out of the woods yet as they have experienced lots of political turmoil in the last couple of years!
Smocking Gun: Thanks to some serial abusers of their health care system, it is on the verge of economic collapse. Yeah.
Odds: 5:1 – They have the talent to go very far in this tournament, especially when they were underdogs the whole regular season.

3. Georgia: A newcomer to the tournament but a long time contributor to the batshit conference, this is the Peach State’s first appearance in the 3rd annual NFFSA tournament and they are looking to rumble! Atlanta may be the burgeoning Hollywood of the East Coast but that doesn’t mean that the outside areas aren’t full of meth addicted, big truck driving crazy people!
Smocking Gun: Last year’s election between Stacy Abrams and Brian Kemp is *STILL* being fought a year later!
Odds: 7:1 – They are a newcomer to the tournament and they are a very young team that got really hot at the right time. expect them to go far!

4. Texas: Yes, the champions just won’t quit! They are always the odds on favorite to win this conference, but injuries and trades have made them feel the pain in their division. Especially when they take on their division rivals Florida but now they are facing the very real possibility that they could get knocked out of the first round. Texas had better bring their A game to the tournament.
Smocking Gun: El Paso has been at the center of Trump’s border wall fight amid controversy and guess what? Trump is wrong in his claims!
Odds: 7:1 – While injuries plagued Texas during the regular season, their craziness and insanity surrounding the wall may elevate them to another level! One to watch for sure.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]

While you’re struggling to make ends meet and your boss enjoys an extra zero on his paycheck, which already has enough zeroes on it, you’re in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. Since 1952, all of the teams in this conference have corporate sponsorships and wear them on their sleeve that way you can tell if they’re being sponsored by Koch Industries or the Walton Family. You can barely afford one car to and from work you say? Your boss owns twenty! Your watch is being held together on your wrist by an extension cord? Your boss owns 15 Rolexes! Bentleys and private jets? They got ‘em! Big money is for chumps. These guys are about the even bigger money, the tax breaks, and the economic hell that they’ve sunk us in! The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Proudly Going For Broke since 1952!

1. Wisconsin: The home of the Green Bay Packers jumped to a number one seed this year because, they’re trying to court one of the world’s most notorious “job creators” in Chinese mega conglomerate Foxconn and are in the process of getting Art Of The Deal’d by Trump and his cohorts. Never mind that former coach Paul Ryan retired, this is going to be a far bigger disaster!
Smocking Gun: Shortly before the democrats took power, the GOP attempted a coup in the state to reduce the state’s new governor of his power.
Odds: 2: 1 - One of the odds-on favorites to win. They got hot at the right time and expect them to stay hot during the tournament.

2. Nevada: The gambling industry got a huge upgrade from their appearance in the tournament last year, and with the gambling industry comes loads of hardcore corruption and other possible faults. In fact the gambling industry was severely affected by this year’s Super Bowl and expect them to look to bounce back.
Smocking Gun: Nevada may be in the process of legalizing weed, but look out for employers who would rather new applicants fail a drug test.
Odds: 5-1: They have a lot of great young talent, but then again, look who they’re up against in this conference.

3. Alaska: A newcomer to the tournament, the oil and gas industry has been attempting to drill in Alaska’s nature preserves for decades now, while the state comes back time and time again doing their best Will Smith impression and saying “Aw, hell naw.”. But the state has even worse problems and the destruction of our environment is but a small footprint in the state’s other problems.
Smocking Gun: A møøse wandered into a høspital….
Odds: 7:1 – The Last Frontier could be a huge upset in the tournament, they got hot in divisional play at the right time. Expect them to go far.

4. Michigan: The Wolverine State is back! Yes, they have a new governor and yes the state is kind of slightly starting to turn around, but Michigan’s financial woes and their extreme fiscal irresponsibility continue to plague the state. They missed out last year but they are back and ready to tangle!
Smocking Gun: It’s been 3 years and no matter how much money they throw at it, Flint *STILL* does not have a functioning water system.
Odds: 2:1 – Michigan has the talent and skills necessary to own this conference and expect them to go very far.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]

Oh Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children? Well, they definitely think about children way too much in this conference. It’s the conference where anti abortion values and toxic religion trump the most basic laws of sense and common decency. Sure, Jesus may be on the license plates in this conference and they’re ready to tear down the walls separating church and state. They are coming after your wombs faster than you can go after their guns. But when you’re born, you are on your own because the morals and values crowd only cares about those who are in the womb as opposed to out of it. It’s the states where Christian rock and old school fire and brimstone religion dominate the radio airwaves. And mothers and fathers should definitely lock up their daughters before they consider dating anyone. The Family Values Conference: Proudly Giving The Fetus More Rights Than You Since 1789!

1. Indiana: The home of vice president Mike Pence is also one of the country’s most religious in the Bible Belt. In fact Indiana has embraced some old school religion and has more active churches than any state in the Midwest. Of course with that kind of fire and brimstone comes all the problems associated with it like teen pregnancy and escalating hate crimes and abortion rates.
Smocking Gun: Indiana is considering a fertility law that really only affects one person who did something extremely horrible.
Odds: 5:1 – They aren’t the odds on favorite as a #1 seed but expect them to do go at least to the conference championship.

2. Mississippi: The Magnolia State *STILL* refuses to let go of the Confederacy and old school values. In fact one of their elected senators Cindy Hyde-Smith, has openly made racist and sexist jokes during speeches. And their family values credentials run deep as they have one of the highest abortion rates in the entire country.
Smocking Gun: Mississippi public schools won’t admit kids if they have a pre-existing condition such as Type 1 Diabetes. Oh won’t someone please think of the children?
Odds: 10:1 – A long shot and Mississippi’s street cred has earned them notoriety, but they still got a long way to go to prove themselves on the court!

3. Ohio: The Buckeye State loves them some old timey fire and brimstone religion and they are home to one of the highest concentrations of churches in the entire country. Ohio also has one of the highest concentrations of hospitals in the entire country. So much that there’s even hospitals that could potentially go out of business, screwing up a whole lot of patients and especially female patients!
Smocking Gun: Ohio’s new governor swore in on a stack of not one, but TEN Bibles. Wow.
Odds: 2:1 Ohio has built up an insane team to where they could possibly own the Flyover League and the entire tournament. But they do have some strong competition.

4. Alabama: The reigning champion of this conference has won the flyover league no less than 9 times. And they are stacked and ready to tangle when they go up against the big guns in this contest. Yes the state responsible for Roy Moore and Mike Huckabee is still producing some fresh young talent not seen in this conference in a long time!
Smocking Gun: Alabama is allowing Bible studies in public schools – as an elective *wink wink*.
Odds: 5:1 – The all time champions of this tournament could go very far and possibly win the Flyover League! Ones to watch for sure!

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]

If you’ve got an itchy trigger finger and your paranoia about the US government coming to take your guns away is growing by the day, this is the conference for you! it’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. You live in an area where you are surrounded by barbed wire and electric fences, and you and your neighbors are stockpiling weapons and ammo because, reasons. This isn’t mere target practice, this is a 24/7 lifestyle brand where you literally take your semi-automatic rifle on a dinner date to Chili’s, because, owning the libs. Yes, the government might be coming, but it’s not for your weapons, it’s for you. You take the words “Shall Not Be Infringed” just a little too literally and have Don’t Tread On Me flags tattooed on your sleeves. The Gun Nut Conference: Proudly Shall Not Be Infringing since 1789!

1. Florida Last year’s champions *AGAIN* ranks as the number one seed in this conference and for good reason. In the last year they elected notorious NRA A+ rated governor Rick Scott to the US Senate and elected raging racist Ron DeSantis as their new governor. In the time since Parkland, Florida’s state legislature has shown that they simply don’t give a fuck about mass murderers and their victims.
Smocking Gun: In the year that the Parkland Students have become anti-gun activists, they still don’t get recognized for their activism.
Odds: 10:1 – They may be a number one seed, but the volatility of Florida Man still remains to be seen. Will he come out fighting or do something stupid? We shall see!

2. New Mexico: Another newcomer to the tournament. The Land Of Enchantment is of course the home of notorious drug kingpin Walter White may be close to legalizing marijuana, but they are not without their fair share of problems. They’re also home to some nefarious ICE agents and border patrol militia men who can go toe to toe with some of the country’s best. Or worst.
Smocking Gun: The NRA is trying to squash what they call a “New York Style” gun control bill in the state senate. Oh the horror!
Odds: 7:1 – They got in the tournament thanks to a one-game playoff. But if they advance expect them to do some conference damage.

3. Idaho: There’s a lot of heat being packed and some open, in your face style NRA Trump lovers in the Pacific Northwest. And the further north you go of Boise, the more in your face it is. If you want guns, Idaho has a whole lot of them, and is about to make things that much worse if the NRA gets their way on school security! Not to mention Idaho is right next door to Montana and there’s plenty of paranoia and doomsday prepping abound!
Smocking Gun: Idaho could potentially make school shootings that much worse if a controversial concealed carry law passes!
Odds: 2:1 – Idaho got the number 1 pick in the draft and it showed. They had a strong showing in the regular season and got hot at the right time.

4. Oregon: Wait, Oregon is a blue state. What? Well they’re a blue-ish state in really Portland and Eugene, and that’s about it. Once you get outside of the major cities in Oregon, there’s lots of heat being packed and shooting first and asking questions later. Portland is also the home of notorious hardcore right wing militia groups like the Bundy Ranch, III%ers, and Patriot Prayer – all of which have attempted to stir up shit in downtown Portland and around the country.
Smocking Gun: Oregon is one of the first states to try a controversial gun seizure program, but is being met with some extreme protests.
Odds: 5:1 They had a strong showing in the regular season but injuries were abound, so don’t expect them to go too far, but look who they are up against.

The Bracket:

If you want to play along, here's a bracket that you can fill out for betting predictions, and you can follow along throughout the tournament:

The Schedule:

That’s it! Here’s the run down of the schedule:

Next Week:

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 1 and we’re live at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, Wells Fargo Center, in Phoenix, AZ, for the 1st round action! Kentucky brings their batshit to the tournament against Maine, while strong newcomer Idaho brings out their big guns against Oregon!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Fever 333[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a great new band from Los Angeles, you can see them on tour with Bring Me The Horizon now, and in August with Korn and Alice In Chains at the 5 Point Amphitheater in Irvine, CA on August 30th. Their latest album is called “Made An America”. Playing their song “We’re Coming In”, give it up for Fever 333!

See you next week!

Credits

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About Top 10 Idiots

This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. The Top 10 is posted once a week on Thursdays at 2:00 PM. There is a full archive of all past, present and future Top 10 editions that can be found here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100218599098\ Announcements for our current season schedule are posted in our Best Of editions that appear at the end of each season. Updates are posted regularly on the official Top 10 Mastodon account and the official Holy Shit Mastodon account. The Mastodon accounts are used to announce what's going to be in next week's edition, new content, advertising our segments, and so on. This account will post official Top 10 editions, and any related content including our spinoff series: Holy Shit The Sunday Sermons. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Mastodon: Top10ConIdiots@mstdn.party Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 on Mastodon: ChurchOfTop10@mstdn.party **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508