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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-16: The Gathering Of The Deplorables Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-16: The Gathering Of The Deplorables Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up San Diego? You guys doing fucking good? I hope everyone is doing well. I do love San Diego and every time I am here. Maybe the Padres, not so much. Although I’m from just up north on the I-5 and we have the Angels, who I think seem to be fine being in last place. And that’s after we spent $430 million on Mike Trout. Hey if you’re going to go for broke, go for broke! Do we have time for the thing? Good. So did everyone see Avengers: Endgame over the weekend? I unfortunately did not but I definitely plan to. I mean come on it’s the grand finale, and I have invested so much into these characters. So no spoilers please! Although if you’re a certain running back for the Buffalo Bills, you might want to take a break on Twitter for a few days. And I would certainly expect this coming from a guy who calls himself “Lil’ Shady”. But this comes literally the day *AFTER* the Russo Brothers called for people not to spoil Endgame, guess what he does? He goes and spoils Endgame, and well, he wasn’t having any of it. But my favorite part was where he said “I’m done with the Avengers”. Well no fucking duh!!! It’s the finale, everyone is! And of course he was feeling the heat from Bills fans who also happen to be Marvel fans. So yeah Lil’ Shady, you might want to get away for a while. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first Bill Maher is back and he talks about how the bad guys get away with it all. Much like in that movie LA Confidential:

Well where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is the NRA (1) – they had their annual convention in which point Trump spoke in brain fart language to the cult and told him that he was the world’s greatest hostage negotiator. In the second slot this week, is Twitter (2). So @realDonaldTrump met with @Jack and had to be told how many bot accounts follow him, but a Twitter employee has dropped a massive bombshell that destroys the GOP and their “shadow banning” theory! In the third slot this week, is the guy who we currently call president,
Donald Trump (3) and while there was a lot to unpack from his MAGA rally in Wisconsin, his batshit crazy theory about infanticide is what we really need to discuss. Taking the fourth slot this week, we have a new game of "Is It Racist?". So the Philadelphia Flyers and the New York Yankees are in hot water for choosing not to use Kate Smith's rendition of God Bless America, because some songs have surfaced with racist undertones, so is it racist? Probably. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and we’re going to find out what exactly happened when Otto Warmbier’s body left North Korea and arrived in the United States. Both glorious dictator Kim Jong Un and @realDonaldTrump have very differing opinions on this one! At slot number 6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and one of the hottest presidential candidates in 2020 is the openly gay mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg, but the Christian right isn’t having any of it! Gee, our resident pastor wonders why! In the seventh slot this week, we have a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and last week was the 102nd anniversary of the Armenian genocide, and in the wake of the protests last week, really, US government, what’s the fucking holdup? And in the 8th slot this week, is our segment "NO!!”. Operation Varsity Blues won’t seem to go away, and we’re going to show you how you get into America’s higher learning institutions without paying hundreds of thousands of dollars! (Hint: It’s called studying!!). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have an all new “People Are Dumb”, because of course they are! And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! This week it’s the Batshit Conference Championship! Kentucky will take on the champions Texas to advance to the Final Four! It’s getting very exciting! Plus we have some live music for the metal heads here from Maryland’s Periphery! Really, buy their new album “Hail Stan” or you are no friend of this show! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The NRA
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Here’s a question for you – the NRA. Are they just a gun lobby or are they a hostile intelligence agency bent on upending democracy so they can keep their precious guns? Well considering that they’ve got the 2nd amendment crowd in their hand, I’m assuming the latter. Well before we get into the most alarming news coming out of their annual convention in Indianapolis, we have to talk about some extremely alarming news that may make you think that they are indeed a hostile intelligence agency bent on upending democracy.

The gun safety nonprofit Giffords Law Center filed a lawsuit against the Federal Election Commission on Wednesday for not acting on its multiple complaints that the National Rifle Association made illegal campaign contributions to President Donald Trump and six other Republican candidates.

“Over the past nine months, Plaintiff Giffords filed four separate administrate complaints with the Federal Election Commission,” said the lawsuit, noting that the FEC has missed the deadline to respond to them.

The suit was filed by the Campaign Legal Center and the Giffords Law Center, which was created by former Arizona congresswoman and gun violence survivor Gabrielle Giffords. It accuses the NRA of using “a complex network of shell corporations to unlawfully coordinate expenditures with the campaigns of at least seven candidates for federal office, thereby making millions of dollars of illegal, unreported, and excessive in-kind contributions, including up to $25 million in illegal contributions to now President Donald J. Trump.”

The six other candidates the suit mentions are Sens. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.), Tom Cotton (R-Ark.), Cory Gardner (R-Colo.), Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) and Montana’s Republican state auditor, Matt Rosendale.

Gee for a party that harps on the other side for campaign contributions sure loves them some campaign contributions don’t they? It’s only political if it happens to the other side. Now we got to talk about their annual convention, or you could just call it “The Gathering Of The Deplorables”. It’s kind of like the Gathering Of The Juggalos and both groups involved are just as terrifying! So what went down in Indianapolis exactly?

Turmoil racking the National Rifle Association is threatening to turn the group’s annual convention into outright civil war, as insurgents maneuver to oust Wayne LaPierre, the foremost voice of the American gun rights movement.

The confrontation pits Mr. LaPierre, the organization’s longtime chief executive, against its recently installed president, Oliver L. North, the central figure in the Reagan-era Iran-contra affair, who remains a hero to many on the right.

Behind it is a widening crisis involving a legal battle between the N.R.A. and its most influential contractor, Ackerman McQueen, amid renewed threats from regulators in New York, where the N.R.A. is chartered, to investigate the group’s tax-exempt status. With contributions lagging, the N.R.A. is also facing an increasingly well-financed gun control movement, motivated by a string of mass shootings.

Mr. North asked Mr. LaPierre to resign on Wednesday, according to documents reviewed by The New York Times. He said he had also created a committee to review allegations of financial improprieties that threaten the N.R.A.’s status as a nonprofit organization.

Because if there's one thing Oliver North knows a thing or two about, it's a failed coup against a hostile insurgency! Yeah so the NRA is infighting amongst themselves. It’s exactly the recipe for a complete and total disaster. And then of course he showed up. It’s literally like everything Trump touches turns to complete shit. So what did he do at the NRA convention? Well he basically said that he’ll pull the US out of the international arms treaty, which means that more weapons will get in the hands of terrorists, because, fuck globalism.

President Trump effectively "unsigned" an international arms sales agreement Friday, moving to withdraw the U.S. from the United Nations' Arms Trade Treaty. The agreement sets global standards for regulating transfers of conventional arms, from rifles to tanks and airplanes.

The treaty, known as the ATT, has been in effect since late 2014. The U.S. signed on to the agreement in 2013 but has not ratified the treaty.

The U.S. withdrawal had been expected. Trump made it official at the National Rifle Association's annual convention in Indianapolis, pulling out a pen onstage and signing a paper that he said would take back the Obama administration's signature on behalf of the U.S.

The ATT has long been a target of the NRA, which claimed it would harm U.S. gun owners. Trump echoed that criticism on Friday, calling the ATT a threat to Second Amendment rights. "We will never surrender America's sovereignty to an unelected, unaccountable, global bureaucracy," Trump was quoted as saying, in a White House statement announcing the change.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Bye everyone, it was nice knowing you! And you know the scary thing? The deplorables cheerleaded this! Just his logic… AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So when terrorists start killing people and setting off explosives outside the Louvre or Big Ben, because they were able to get American made weapons, well, don’t say we didn’t warn you. I mean it is your funeral after all.

US president Donald Trump told the National Rifle Association he was pulling the United States out of an international arms treaty signed in 2013.

Mr Trump said he intends to revoke the status of the United States as a signatory to the Arms Trade Treaty, which was never ratified by the US Senate.

“We’re taking our signature back,” Mr Trump said to thousands of cheering attendees at a convention on Friday.

In reversing the US position on the pact, he wrote on Twitter, “We will never allow foreign bureaucrats to trample on your Second Amendment freedoms.”

The NRA has long opposed the treaty, which regulates the $70 billion business in conventional arms and seeks to keep weapons out of the hands of human rights abusers. The lobbying group argues it would undermine domestic gun rights, a view the Obama administration rejected.


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[font size="8"]Twitter
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It’s no secret that hardcore racists are using social media to spread their violence and hatred towards anyone who they don’t like. And not only that, they’re using it to actively recruit new members like the group Identity Europa for instance. But before we get into why Twitter won’t ban Nazis (and for not at all shocking reasons), Trump met with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey last week. And you want to know the reason why? Well you just had to ask! Trump wanted him to explain why he lost a ton of followers, and the reason is not all shocking either. Yes, they are still harping on Twitter for the ridiculous concept of “shadow banning”.

President Trump met with Twitter founder and CEO Jack Dorsey on Tuesday as the president continues to criticize the social media company on its own platform.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders did not say what the two discussed. "Lots of subjects discussed regarding their platform, and the world of social media in general. Look forward to keeping an open dialogue!" Mr. Trump tweeted after the meeting.

Dorsey, meanwhile, thanked the president for hosting the meeting in the Oval Office. "Twitter is here to serve the entire public conversation, and we intend to make it healthier and more civil. Thanks for the discussion about that," Dorsey wrote on Twitter.

Mr. Trump, along with other prominent Republicans, has claimed in recent months that Twitter censors conservatives, and the president has indicated his openness to further regulation of the website. The president most recently used Twitter to attack the company Tuesday morning, hours before his meeting with Dorsey.

Well, maybe you should hold off on fixing it there, because last week a Twitter employee admitted what we’re all thinking. So why won’t Twitter hold Nazis in the same regard as ISIS? Easy answer: a lot of them vote conservative! So, @realDonaldTrump, it’s not just you, it’s your base! You wonder why conservatives are getting “shadow banned”? It’s because they’re fucking Nazis!

At a Twitter all-hands meeting on March 22, an employee asked a blunt question: Twitter has largely eradicated Islamic State propaganda off its platform. Why can’t it do the same for white supremacist content?

An executive responded by explaining that Twitter follows the law, and a technical employee who works on machine learning and artificial intelligence issues went up to the mic to add some context. (As Motherboard has previously reported, algorithms are the next great hope for platforms trying to moderate the posts of their hundreds of millions, or billions, of users.)

With every sort of content filter, there is a tradeoff, he explained. When a platform aggressively enforces against ISIS content, for instance, it can also flag innocent accounts as well, such as Arabic language broadcasters. Society, in general, accepts the benefit of banning ISIS for inconveniencing some others, he said.

In separate discussions verified by Motherboard, that employee said Twitter hasn’t taken the same aggressive approach to white supremacist content because the collateral accounts that are impacted can, in some instances, be Republican politicians.

So that’s how people turn to the Dark Side so quickly! I mean shit even Emperor Palpatine couldn’t recruit numbers this quickly. Thank god social media didn’t exist in 1942 am I right? But the scary thing is that they can’t ban Nazis because it would mean banning GOP politicians. Wow, this is completely and in no way shape or form shocking.

Twitter is holding back from implementing a possible algorithm that could allow Twitter to more effectively crack down on neo-Nazi and white-supremacist content over concerns it could report accounts of Republican politicians, according to a report from Vice News' tech site, Motherboard.

A Twitter employee told Motherboard that at a recent company-wide meeting, an employee asked why Twitter — which has successfully used a sophisticated algorithm to identify and almost entirely eliminate ISIS-linked content — couldn't do the same for white-supremacist tweets.

According to the employee, another employee that works on artificial-intelligence (AI) issues said that such a sweeping and wide-ranging algorithm could result in some innocent accounts being flagged by accident, which may not be an acceptable trade-off.

In a separate conversation, Motherboard reported, the AI-focused employee said one concern with a white-supremacist algorithm was that it would inadvertently flag the accounts of some Republican politicians, potentially causing a backlash.

"The information cited from the 'sources' in this story has absolutely no basis in fact," a Twitter representative told INSIDER by email in response to Motherboard's reporting.

I think even Adolf would roll his eyes at this. But if you want to know where white supremacist online hatred is heading, just ask Rep. Ilhan Omar. Last week, we were all horrified when Trump trolled her directly by posting a video linking her to 9/11. Well guess what? @Jack personally called her to tell her there was nothing wrong with @realDonaldTrump’s tweet. Well, if they can’t get that right, how are they expected to combat white supremacy and neo-Nazism?

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey called Rep. Ilhan Omar on Tuesday to discuss the social network's decision to allow a tweet by President Donald Trump that led to a flood of tweets threatening the life of the Muslim congresswoman.

The call focused on a tweet Trump shared earlier this month that included a video that purported to show Omar being dismissive of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The video coupled out-of-context comments she made during a recent speech in which she said "some people did something" with images of the hijacked airplanes striking the World Trade Center.

When Omar asked Dorsey during the call why Twitter didn't remove Trump's tweet, Dorsey told her Trump's tweet didn't violate the company's rules, sources told The Washington Post, which previously reported the conversation. Dorsey also pointed out that the tweet had been shared beyond the site but conceded that Twitter needed to do a better job of removing hate and harassing content from the site, the Post reported.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Whew. There was so much to unpack at his insane campaign rally last week that I’m going to need a breather after this one. Or at least a nice tall glass of Jack Daniels. You know that abortion is one of the trickiest subjects to navigate in this country, at least since about 1973. But this week things have taken a hard turn in the abortion debate, and not in a good way. Yeah we got to unpack what Trump said in Wisconsin last week, because that was whew, my god. I literally have no words to accurately describe how or what to feel after seeing this. You know what? Fuck it, let’s roll the clip first.

That escalated quickly! Seriously, that never happens, fucking anywhere!!! So why is this so alarming? Well…

President Donald Trump made an incendiary remark at a rally Saturday night, veering from criticism of Wisconsin's Democratic governor to a false claim that mothers and doctors have the option to "execute" babies.
Speaking at a rally he hosted in Green Bay, Wisconsin, on Saturday, Trump pointed to former Wisconsin Republican Gov. Scott Walker, who was in attendance, and said Walker's successor, Democratic Gov. Tony Evers "shockingly stated that he will veto legislation that protects Wisconsin babies born alive."
According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Evers planned to veto a GOP-backed state bill that could have meant life sentences in prison for doctors who intentionally did not provide medical care to babies born alive after a failed abortion.
Trump continued on the theme after his initial comment to claim that mothers and doctors are given the choice to "execute" a baby.

"The baby is born," Trump said. "The mother meets with the doctor. They take care of the baby. They wrap the baby beautifully, and then the doctor and the mother determine whether or not they will execute the baby. I don't think so."

Wow, that escalated quickly! We wen t from abortion straight to infanticide. Holy shit. Way to play to extremes there, Trump! Oh wait, except that doesn’t happen anywhere, ever. I mean they didn’t even practice this in Darfur! Jesus, he is certifiably insane. And he’s probably going to get someone killed over this, if he hasn’t already.

In full campaign mode, President Trump urged loyal supporters in Wisconsin -- a key battleground state which Democrats hope to win back in 2020 -- to help him secure a second term and repeat his surprise electoral triumph in 2016.

"You took back your country," he told thousands of boisterous supporters at a campaign rally in Green Bay Saturday night, suggesting that his election three years ago signaled a tectonic shift in American politics.

"You have always been loyal to your nation. Now you finally have a president who is loyal to you," he reassured the crowd, which erupted in chants of "four more years!"

In his third "Make America Great Again" rally of the year, which he held on the same night as the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, Mr. Trump stuck to his signature campaign rallying cries, denouncing the now-complete Russia investigation by special counsel Robert Mueller and bragging about devising the highly controversial proposal of sending migrants apprehended near the southern border to so-called "sanctuary cities," which limit their cooperation with federal immigration authorities.

"That was actually my sick idea," the president said.

At least Trump admits that his ideas are sick. And certainly not in a cool way. His ideas are quite literally sick in every way. That brings up one of my favorite GOP talking points “We’re going to take our country back!!!”. What are you taking it back from? Where are you taking it back to? We may never know the answer to these questions. By the way, if you want to know what actual doctors think of this, you would be (well, not) at all surprised at how wrong Trump is on this subject:

Dr. Kristyn Brandi, an obstetrician-gynecologist and a board member from Physicians for Reproductive Health, said that Trump is not describing a situation in which a licensed doctor would ever participate.

“To be clear, there is never a scenario where a baby is delivered and we decide to execute the baby. That is grossly inflammatory and really insulting to doctors, nurses and everyone else that takes care of people that go through this stuff,” she told TIME.

Trump was referencing Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers’ opposition to a Republican-backed bill that could put doctors in prison for life if they don’t do everything in their power to save infants born alive after failed abortion attempts.

But Evers has previously explained that he won’t back the bill because he thinks it’s unnecessary. Doctors who don’t help ailing infants clearly in need of medical help would face repercussions for that choice whether or not the bill was passed. “I think those protections already exist,” he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

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[font size="8"]Is It Racist
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone it’s the hot new game that’s sweeping the nation!

Spoiler alert! Probably! The NHL playoffs are in full swing right now, how is your team doing? Mine not only didn’t make it but was at or near the bottom most of the season. Well one team that’s not in it and has been in the news for a very controversial reason. Racism. Well, not so much in the proverbial sense of racism, but really more like they had a past history of racism. You know like when you discover that you made racist jokes 10 years ago and now you go “it’s not me!!!”. Thanks Twitter search! But the Flyers are in the news because they removed a statue of Kate Smith after some old lyrics surfaced. If you don’t know who that is, Kate Smith is the America flag-waving songwriter who sang such classic songs like “God Bless America” that are still in use today. Why is this controversial? Well…

Since the late 1960s, a rendition of “God Bless America” by Kate Smith, one of the most prolific and popular American singers of the 20th century, has been a good luck charm for the Philadelphia Flyers. “The team began to win on nights the song was played,” the New York Times wrote in Smith’s 1986 obituary. Smith sang the tune live during game six of the 1974 Stanley Cup finals, which the Flyers went on to win against the Boston Bruins, taking home the coveted trophy. But as Anastasia Tsioulcas reports for NPR, the Flyers recently announced that they will no longer play Smith’s recording of “God Bless America” at games. A statue of the singer that stood outside the team’s arena has been removed.

The sudden change of heart was prompted by revelations that Smith had recorded at least two songs with racist lyrics in the 1930s. Last week, the New York Yankees, which had been regularly playing Smith’s recording during the seventh-inning stretch since 9/11, decided to switch to a keyboard version of “God Bless America” after the songs were brought to their attention. “The Yankees have been made aware of a recording that had been previously unknown to us and decided to immediately and carefully review this new information,” a spokesperson told Stefan Bondy of the New York Daily News. “And while no final conclusions have been made, we are erring on the side of sensitivity.”

Quickly following suit, the Flyers said in a statement on Sunday that while the team has “enjoyed a long and popular relationship with ‘God Bless America,’ as performed by the late Kate Smith,” it had recently learned that several of her songs “include lyrics and sentiments that are incompatible with the values of our organization, and evoke painful and unacceptable themes.” The statue of Smith that had been erected outside the Flyers’ Spectrum arena in 1987—and, when that venue was demolished, had been moved to the parking lot of Xfinity Live!—was cloaked in black and subsequently taken down.

Read more: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/philadelphia-flyers-remove-statue-singer-kate-smith-amid-allegations-racism-180972026/#kXS01kgxthFi8aoz.99

Well that is a good question! And I think this outrage concerning Kate Smith is walking a fine line between “is it racist” and it is not racist. So let’s expand on this further – it’s not just the Flyers – the Yankees also jumped ship on Kate Smith. But are they overreacting? Yeah probably. So why now – some nearly 33 years after Kate Smith died? Well there’s lots of reasons.

The Yankees used Smith’s “God Bless America” early in the season but stopped after an email from a fan alerted them to Smith’s racially insensitive work.

“The Yankees have been made aware of a recording that had been previously unknown to us and decided to immediately and carefully review this new information,” a team spokesman said. “The Yankees take social, racial and cultural insensitivities very seriously. And while no final conclusions have been made, we are erring on the side of sensitivity.”

The Flyers said in a statement: “We have recently become aware that several songs performed by Kate Smith contain offensive lyrics that do not reflect our values as an organization. As we continue to look into this serious matter, we are removing Kate Smith’s recording of ‘God Bless America’ from our library and covering up the statue that stands outside of our arena.”

The Flyers have a tradition of playing Smith’s version of “God Bless America” as a replacement for the national anthem at big games. The song has been said to bring the team good luck. Smith performed it live before Game 6 of the 1974 Stanley Cup final, the game in which the Flyers won their first Cup.

So what were their values then before they decided to do this? And if they’re not going to use Kate Smith’s rendition of “God Bless America” then whose are they going to use? If the Flyers and Yankees both support American values, they should take a good look at who’s currently serving in the White House before they practice what they preach.

Under the cover of darkness, a statue of Kate Smith was removed from the South Philadelphia Sports Complex before dawn Sunday.

The move came less than 48 hours after it was announced that some of the late singer’s racially insensitive songs had resurfaced. The New York Yankees were quick to pull the plug on Smith’s rendition of “God Bless America" while an “investigation” unfolded, and the Philadelphia Flyers followed their lead by covering Smith’s statue in a black shroud on Friday.

By Sunday morning, all that remained outside the Philly sports complex was an empty concrete base where the statue once stood.
Flyers remove Kate Smith statue, cite ‘unacceptable themes’ »

The Flyers released a statement Sunday afternoon that said the songs Smith performed in the 1930s “include lyrics and sentiments that are incompatible with the values of our organization, and evoke painful and unacceptable themes.”

So maybe just… maybe this is one of those things that might not actually be racist. Maybe the Flyers and the Yankees both jumped the gun here. What do Kate Smith’s actual relatives and Flyers fans think of this removal? Well they might be on that side. That answers the question “is it racist?” the answer might be probably / probably not.

Under the cover of darkness, a statue of Kate Smith was removed from the South Philadelphia Sports Complex before dawn Sunday.

The move came less than 48 hours after it was announced that some of the late singer’s racially insensitive songs had resurfaced. The New York Yankees were quick to pull the plug on Smith’s rendition of “God Bless America" while an “investigation” unfolded, and the Philadelphia Flyers followed their lead by covering Smith’s statue in a black shroud on Friday.

By Sunday morning, all that remained outside the Philly sports complex was an empty concrete base where the statue once stood.

The Flyers released a statement Sunday afternoon that said the songs Smith performed in the 1930s “include lyrics and sentiments that are incompatible with the values of our organization, and evoke painful and unacceptable themes.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates.

Is President Trump lying? Is water wet? OK that’s the end of the investigation piece, good night everybody! But in all seriousness, last year the entire world was shocked at the death of Otto Warmbier, who was visiting North Korea and arrested and tortured by North Korea’s glorious dictator Kim Jong Un, and died in a North Korean prison. Then there was a gigantic battle to get his body released and returned to the United States. Now, one year later, President Trump claims that he’s the world’s greatest hostage negotiator. Because of course he is. So last year, Kim Jong Un presented the US government with a bill for Warmbier’s hospital care. Seems like a dictator thing to do.

The North Korean government presented the United States with a bill for $2 million for the hospital care of Otto Warmbier, the American college student who was held as a prisoner by Pyongyang, and insisted the US sign a pledge to pay the bill before releasing him from their custody in 2017, according to two sources familiar with the matter.

A third source familiar with the matter, as well as President Donald Trump, said the US didn't pay.
The bill was handed to Joseph Yun, the former State Department Special Representative for North Korea who traveled to Pyongyang in June 2017 to bring Warmbier home, the sources told CNN.
Warmbier was in a comatose state at the time of his release from North Korean custody and died a few days after returning to the United States.

The Trump administration has not paid this bill, the third source told CNN Thursday, adding that North Korea did not raise the issue as it sought to begin easing the tensions with the US in 2018 nor when Secretary of State Mike Pompeo negotiated the release of three Americans that same year, the source said.

That is a very good point. Seems like a very dictatorial thing to do doesn’t it? He dies in your care and then you stick the other guy with the bill? What a very noble and Christian thing to do! Except for the fact that Kim Jong Un bows to no god but himself. So who should pay for Otto Warmbier’s $2 million hospital tab? Well, did Trump approve? Or did he not? That’s where the conflict arises.

The former State Department Special Representative for North Korea said Monday that he believes President Donald Trump signed off on an agreement to pay North Korea for the 'care' and release of Otto Warmbier.

Joseph Yun told CNN on Monday that he signed the $2 million agreement in 2017 with the approval of then-Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to get the American student back to the U.S. from North Korean custody.

'As soon as North Korea side told me that this bill for $2 million would have to be paid ... I contacted my boss then-Secretary of State Rex Tillerson,' Yun said, noting that Tillerson 'got back to me very quickly thereafter to say yes, go ahead and sign.'

Warmier became ill while in North Korean custody and was returned to the U.S. in a comatose state – he died a few days later.

So that’s where President Fake News comes in. North Korea sent him the bill and supposedly says he paid it but then again he says he doesn’t. And if anything happens between the US and North Korea in the next two years, consider it the fault of an unpaid tab. Note to European countries: this is the kind of thing that happens when people are forced to pay for their medical care.

President Donald Trump on Friday denied sending money to North Korea to pay for Otto Warmbier's care while he was in the country's custody.

The Washington Post reported Thursday that North Korea issued a bill to the U.S. of $2 million for medical care before it would allow the comatose University of Virginia student to fly home from Pyongyang in 2017.

The president also tweeted that the "cheif hostage negotiator" in the U.S. said Trump "is the greatest hostage negotiator" and that "no money was paid" for the American.

People familiar with the situation told the Post that Trump instructed the U.S. envoy that brought Warmbier back to sign a pledge stating the U.S. would pay the bill. It is not clear whether it was paid or not.

Warmbier was arrested in North Korea and sentenced to 15 years in prison with hard labor in March 2016. He fell into a coma shortly after his sentencing and died after arriving in America.

That’s the question as old as time – who gets stuck with the check? Is it North Korea or is it the United States? Either way there’s a rather gigantic tab to settle and so far there are no takers. In fact probably no one wants to pay this bill. But it exists, and it must be paid no matter who it is stuck with. But… that begs even further question as to whether or not President Trump is the world’s greatest hostage negotiator like he claims. Easy answer: he’s not. Especially if he’s stuck with that tab.

On Thursday afternoon, The Washington Post reported the bizarre news that North Korea issued a $2 million bill for the “care” of comatose American student Otto Warmbier, insisting a U.S. envoy sign a pledge that America would pay before being granted permission to fly Warmbier home in 2017, after he’d been held prisoner by the hermit kingdom for removing a propaganda sign. According to the Post, the official reportedly signed the agreement on orders passed down from Donald Trump, despite the request being wildly shameless, even for Kim Jong Un. At some point, Trump . . . well, we’re not going to say he read the Post story, but he heard about it somehow, and decided to set the record straight in his characteristically calm, reasonable way.

“No money was paid to North Korea for Otto Warmbier, not two Million Dollars, not anything else. This is not the Obama Administration that paid 1.8 Billion Dollars for four hostages, or gave five terroist [sic] hostages plus, who soon went back to battle, for traitor Sgt. Bergdahl!” the president informed his followers Friday morning, before quoting an unknown official who would like the world to know that Trump is the best hostage negotiator in U.S. history. “‘President Donald J. Trump is the greatest hostage negotiator that I know of in the history of the United States. 20 hostages, many in impossible circumstances, have been released in last two years. No money was paid.’ Cheif [sic] Hostage Negotiator, USA!”

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of San Diego, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know we’ve been speaking out against the unholy, ungodly Dark One since we began this church. Now next year is an election year. And there are a billion candidates running to unseat the Dark One. Well, maybe not a billion. At least 21 that we know of. But there’s one candidate above all the others who is getting a lot of attention from my fellow zealots, and not exactly what one would call a flattering way. I’m of course talking about the mayor of South Bend, Indiana and one of the current front runners, a man by the name of Pete Buttigieg. But what is it about this particular individual that has my fellow zealots on the right up in arms? Well…

The only Democrat talking at length about his faith in the 2020 primary also happens to be the only gay candidate in the race. And he's one of the few from a red state.
South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg is an Episcopalian who can freely quote Bible verses. He's also a presidential candidate who embraces his husband on stage at campaign rallies.

Combining homosexuality and Christianity might be the most natural thing in the world for Buttigieg and millions of gay Americans, but it is an iconoclastic development in American politics, where generalizations about religious freedom have in recent years been used specifically to fight advances in LGBTQ rights.
For some on the religious right, like Franklin Graham, Buttigieg's identity, while it's shared by many gay Americans of faith, does not compute.

Graham, in a series of critical tweets, said that being a gay Christian "is something to be repentant of, not to be flaunted, praised or politicized."

That is most certainly a good question oh LAWRD!!! Every election cycle, the Christian right always point out how we should “hate the sin, not the sinner” and that it’s “GAWD’s judgement”. Well, that doesn’t fly in my church!! We don’t play by that rule here. We support Mayor Pete! Now it of course brings me great joy to see our religious breathen have their talking points thrown back at them. Since of course that’s what we do here. But the feud between Rev Graham and Mayor Pete has escalated. Quickly.

U.S. electoral politics have traditionally been somewhat bland, with candidates from both major parties representing a safe and always unrepresentative proportion of the country’s actually diverse population.

That’s changing just a little, and especially so with 2020 presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, who proudly describes himself as a “gay Christian.” He is far from perfect on many policies, but this multilingual graduate of Harvard and Oxford, who served in Afghanistan as a naval intelligence officer, and as mayor of South Bend, Ind., is deeply impressive and refreshing.

But not to Franklin Graham, son of the famous and far less extreme Billy. Franklin is president of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and the charity Samaritan’s Purse. For the latter position he is paid $1 million a year. He enjoys enormous support in the conservative Christian world, with more than 5 million Facebook followers, and has many supporters in Canada.

He has tweeted in response to Buttigieg’s declaration of his Christianity that, “God does have commandments, laws and standards He gives us to live by. God doesn’t change. His Word is the same yesterday, today & forever … As a Christian I believe the Bible which defines homosexuality as sin, something to be repentant of, not something to be flaunted, praised or politicized.”

And yes he is oh LAWRD! And if there’s one thing we don’t want to see, it’s that the GOP is flaunting their sexuality! I don’t want to see that, do you? But here’s the thing that I want to know – they call themselves “the Christian right” but they are wrong all the time! They’re even wrong on the good LAWRD JAYSUS! And if they’re wrong on JAYSUS what else can they be wrong on? Well, everything!

At least Judas got 30 pieces of silver. Franklin Graham got a tax cut and the promise of a border wall.

Some may consider it unfair, likening the tragic villain of the Bible to Billy Graham’s controversial son. And no, their sins are not alike. Judas handed Jesus over to his enemies, then killed himself in anguished repentance. Graham is just a fervent supporter of Donald Trump.

But for all the surface dissimilarity of their deeds, the two men are ultimately guilty of the same transgression. Meaning betrayal. And here it must be said in the spirit of Christian humility that Graham is hardly the only one. As flawed and fallible human beings, every Christian at some point betrays Jesus. That’s what forgiveness is for.

But here it also must be said in the spirit of simple truth-telling that white evangelicals like Graham have been particularly prolific – and shameless – in that regard where Trump is concerned. He’s a racist, misogynistic braggart and bully who gloated about sexual assault, apparently cheated on his wife with a porn star, could not name a favorite Bible verse nor correctly pronounce the name of one of the best known books in The Book.

Well actually you are wrong, very wrong! Can I get an amen??? And by the way how great is our gospel choir? Let’s hear it for them! But the Christian right is losing this battle, as they are losing every battle they attempt to fight. So why fight this one? The more they harp on Pete Buttigeig for being gay, the more they make him stronger! Really, they should just call this one a day and retreat with their tail between their legs.

Graham shared a CNN story about the town hall on Twitter, and said, “Presidential candidate & South Bend Mayor @PeteButtigieg is right—God doesn’t have a political party. But God does have commandments, laws & standards He gives us to live by.”

“Mayor Buttigieg says he’s a gay Christian. As a Christian I believe the Bible which defines homosexuality as sin, something to be repentant of, not something to be flaunted, praised or politicized. The Bible says marriage is between a man & a woman—not two men, not two women,” Graham, the president of the Billy Graham Evangelical Association, tweeted.

“It can be challenging to be a person of faith who’s also part of the LGBTQ community and yet, to me, the core of faith is regard for one another,” Buttigieg said during Tuesday’s CNN town hall in New Hampshire. “And part of God’s love is experienced, according to my faith tradition, is in the way that we support one another and, in particular, support the least among us.”

Yes, don’t you dare put that evil on us, Franklin Graham! That should be the takeaway you get from today’s sermon! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Armenian Genocide Recognition
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Let’s liven things up and talk about genocide. You know, nothing gets a good gut laugh like state sanctioned torture and mass murder. But first we need some music.

Ah love some System Of A Down! So why won’t we have them on our show? Well they’re not exactly what one would call “easy to get a hold of”. But I am playing this to bring a point. HEY! US Government!!! Recognize the Armenian Genocide already!!! This is something that’s not easy for a government to do because it would definitely mean that they would have to admit their own faults as a society. Why is it so hard to do? Well there’s plenty of reasons why it should be recognized, but also plenty of reasons why they shouldn’t. What’s one reason why they shouldn’t? Well it would cause the US to answer for their past crimes in this subject area. And by the way instead of playing our usual humorous memes and clips, we’re instead going to replace them all with System Of A Down songs, because you can’t joke about this tragedy, and there’s no one understands this subject better than they do! So what’s to stop them from doing this?

Armenians across Los Angeles marked the 104th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide with marches and vigils.

Hundreds gathered for a prayer service in Montebello at the Armenian Genocide Martyrs Memorial Monument.

"This commemoration is vital for us all," said Archbishop Hovnan Derderian, head of the Western Diocese of the Armenian Church. "Because first, we bring our respect to the memory of the martyrs, but through this respect, we also want to make sure that there’s a message sent to the world that genocide will never ever repeat."

Church leaders said the day isn’t just about remembering history but also education and public service.

Ah, I love that band so much. So why talk about this now? Well, we recently remembered the 100th anniversary of this horrifying chapter in modern history, and since history seems to be repeating itself with the rise of white supremacism and neo nationalism, this cannot be fucking forgotten! Thank you audience! So if you research this tragedy who’s really to blame? And why has it taken so long to hold them accountable? The entire thing is a clusterfuck. And especially since Turkey – a country that is led by Putin stooge Erdogan, is well, on the side of genocide.

Turkey’s foreign minister has criticized a French decision to mark April 24 as a day of commemoration of the Armenian genocide, saying France should “look at its own dark history.”

Mevlut Cavusoglu made the comments Friday during a tense exchange of words with a French parliamentarian at a NATO meeting in Turkey, a day after French President Emmanuel Macron’s decision was inscribed in France’s official journal.

Many historians regard the mass killings of Armenians under the Ottoman Empire a century ago the first genocide of the 20th century. Turkey rejects the term genocide, contending that those who died were victims of civil war.

Cavusoglu said: “France is the last country to teach Turkey a lesson on genocide and history. We haven’t forgotten what happened in Rwanda and Algeria.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So that’s about where we are at as a society – if you stand with Vladimir Putin, well, you support genocide. At least France, with all the shit that’s currently going on in this country, is one of the more progressive ones in this regard. They are one of the western countries that is currently recognizing this atrocity. But let’s at least delve into some of the history on this subject if we are to properly understand it.

History, be it familial, national, or ethnic, defines who one is as a person. Throughout human history, eras have been defined by periods of peace and times of conflict. As time has passed, the manner in which conflicts are carried out has evolved; therefore, history has innumerable variations of combat and harm. One of the most devastating types of conflict and assault upon a culture is genocide. According to Merriam-Webster, a genocide is “the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group.” According to the United Nations, a genocide is “any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such: killing members of the group; causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; [and]forcibly transferring children of the group to another group” (framework). While each attempted human extermination has had its own unique and tragic backstory, there are some commonalities among them. Common factors seen in most genocides include racial and religious tensions, as well as desperation on the part of the “attacking” party. One of the most tragic and under-researched mass killings was the Armenian Genocide. The objective of this investigation is to explore the causes of this assault upon humanity and to examine its ramifications.

Before proceeding further, it is important to note that for the purpose of this investigation the assaults upon the Armenians will be referred to as a genocide, according to the Merriam-Webster definition. However, much of the international community, including the United States, does not recognize the “incident” as a genocide. Despite this, the term will be used throughout the remainder of this report.

And by the way, don’t count on this guy to show his sensitive side regarding this dark chapter of humanity any time soon. I’m of course talking about Trump. Last week, he praised General Lee (yes, the real General Lee and not the Dukes of Hazard car), backed out of the UN Arms Treaty (fucking really?) and backed up his comments about how there’s “really fine people on both sides”. So if you’re holding your breath on whether or not he’ll recognize the tragedy any time soon, you may exhale now.

President Trump on Tuesday commemorated the 1915 mass slaughter of Armenians at the hands of the Ottoman Turks, but again kept with past precedent in declining to call it genocide.

Trump issued a statement for Armenian Remembrance Day, which marks the anniversary of Meds Yeghern, when 1.5 million Armenians were deported, massacred or marched to their deaths by Ottoman forces.

“As we honor the memory of those who suffered, we also reflect on our commitment to ensure that such atrocities are not repeated,” Trump said in a statement. “We underscore the importance of acknowledging and reckoning with painful elements of the past as a necessary step towards creating a more tolerant future.”

Trump acknowledged the efforts of former U.S. Ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, Henry Morgenthau, in attempting to aid the Armenian people.

The use of the term "genocide" as it relates to the Armenian killings has long been a hot-button issue.

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[font size="8"]No!: Operation Varsity Blues
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When you give stupid people a lot of money, don’t be surprised when they do something stupid with it, and of course you probably know where I’m going with this – Operation Varsity Blues. Which is shaping up to be one of the dumbest scandals involving rich idiots since the Fyre Festival. I will admit it – I am obsessed with this story and I cannot get enough of it, because it’s really a testament to how much people hate the uber-rich. Because they’re just like us, only they have money. And when they’re just like us, with money, they tend to spend it very foolishly. As demonstrated by Lori Laughlin.

Actress Lori Loughlin and her husband, designer Mossimo Giannulli, pleaded not guilty on Monday relating to fraud and conspiracy charges brought against them by federal prosecutors in the Operation Varsity Blues investigation. Loughlin and Giannulli were two of 33 parents charged in the largest college admissions scandal in American history.

According to documents obtained by CBS News, Loughlin and Giannulli each waived their right to appear in court for an arraignment and pleaded not guilty to each of the charges brought against them.

Loughlin and Giannull allegedly paid $500,000 to have their two daughters categorized as recruits to the USC crew team even though neither participated in the sport. Their 19-year-old daughter, Olivia Jade, is a social media influencer, who apparently capitalized on her experience at USC with sponsored posts.

Loughlin and Giannulli were arrested last month on a single charge of conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud. An indictment brought last week added a charge of money laundering conspiracy against the couple and 14 other parents. Loughlin posted a $1 million bond last month..

Yeah except Loughlin probably won’t be getting a bad court thingy any time soon. So the question is who else is involved? How deep does this go? Deep enough, thank you sir! Always a smart ass in the audience isn’t there? But this might be my favorite part of the scandal – they are trying to say that they did nothing wrong! Oh go cue the world’s tiniest violin.

Actress Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo Giannulli did not mean to break the law when they allegedly paid a bribe to get their kids admitted to an elite college, according to a new report.

People Magazine spoke to a source who said the pair didn't realize their actions were illegal.

"When they fight this, they're going to give a lot more nuance and mitigating circumstances that will help put their alleged actions into context," the source told the magazine. "The bottom line is that they just didn't realize that what they were doing was illegal."

The source said that the parents thought they were hiring a consultant to do what was needed and that it was similar to other parents "calling in favors, donating money to the alumni association, hiring consultants."

"When it all fell apart, nobody was as surprised as they were that they were in trouble," the source said.

NO!!! !We don’t need dim-witted celebrities and their equally dim-witted kids taking admissions away from people who worked their ass off to get into college and land their dream jobs! And not only are they competing who can spend the most money to get their kids in, they’re getting international help as well! I mean what, does USC need its’ own international airport? I mean they *COULD* use an international airport!

Families from China are alleged to have been the most lucrative clients of William ‘Rick’ Singer’s growing college admissions scandal, in which he has admitted to taking tens of millions in parental payoffs to get wealthy children into some of the top colleges in the U.S, according to a source familiar with the ongoing probe.

One Chinese family allegedly paid Singer $6.5 million to get their child into a leading school, the source told ABC News, confirming an earlier report in the Wall Street Journal.

The scandal was exposed on March 12 when U.S. Attorney for District of Massachusetts Andrew Lelling announced charges against over 50 people, including many notable CEOs and actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman. Singer, who ran a college counseling service called Key Worldwide Foundation, pleaded guilty to helping students get into their chosen colleges either by cheating on the SATs or ACTs or by falsely claiming some of the applicants were student-athletes.

The alleged $6.5 million payoff to Singer is by far the largest known to date among dozens of parents currently facing criminal charges as part of the investigation, dubbed "Operation Varsity Blues."

Singer accepted $25 million in bribes to carry out the cheating schemes, according to the indictment.

Holy shit!!! $25 million? Damn, here I am in the wrong business! I am entertaining you people, at the Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot, instead I should be hustling celebrities and universities! But here’s a thing – what does China want with America’s higher institutions of learning? Well this is shocking, but not really all that shocking.

One of the mysteries of the sweeping college admissions fraud case has been over the families that prosecutors say paid the biggest sums to a college consultant at the center of the schemes but that have not been charged.

The 33 parents charged in the scandal are mostly accused of paying the consultant, William Singer, either tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to facilitate cheating on admissions tests or to bribe coaches or other officials so that their children could be admitted to schools as recruited athletes.

But the prosecutors leading the largest-ever college admissions prosecution have also alluded to other families, not named and not charged, who paid far more. One family paid Mr. Singer $6.5 million to get their child into college through the recruitment scheme, the prosecutors have said. Another was described in court documents as having paid Mr. Singer $1.2 million in connection with their daughter’s application to Yale.

Prosecutors said that the daughter, whom they called Yale Applicant 1 in court documents, was admitted to Yale as a recruit for the women’s soccer team, despite not being a competitive soccer player. According to documents charging Rudolph Meredith, the former women’s soccer coach at Yale, Mr. Singer had paid Mr. Meredith a bribe to designate the young woman as a recruit for the team. Mr. Singer has pleaded guilty to racketeering and other charges, and Mr. Meredith has pleaded guilty to fraud and conspiracy charges.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And I love these stories because they never disappoint. So who is stupid this week? I want to start with this story out of Michigan. Here’s the thing – would you tell your parents about your spank bank? And more importantly, would you have a spank bank that costs as much as a new Honda Accord? Well, there was this guy who not only did both, he is actually suing his parents for destruction of property to the tune of almost $100K. Ha ha ha, yes, thank you Marge, does anybody need that much porno? Well this guy does. Really, dude, just chalk this one up as a loss and move on.

A Michigan man is seeking to squeeze out over $86,000 from his parents in civil court for allegedly throwing out his large pornography collection.

The names of the son and his parents were withheld by WXMI, who obtained the federal civil court documents on Friday.

The rift between the family started back in October 2016 when the man moved back into his parents' Grand Haven, Michigan, home after a divorce. Among his possessions was a smut collection, he said in court documents, is worth $29,000, ABC affiliate ABC13 reported.

Less than a year later, the man moved out to Indiana. When his parents allegedly delivered his property to his new home, the son noticed that his massive collection was missing.

According to the documents, his parents allegedly told him they destroyed his porn.

Yeah even Loki won’t touch that one! And he’s the god of mischief, don’t you know? Next up, we got a lot of stories from the Sunshine State! Yes, our good friend Florida Man has been quite busy lately! Remember that movie Mallrats by Kevin Smith? It features a hilarious scene where Jay & Silent Bob go after the Easter Bunny only to get mauled by a group of freaked out kids waiting in line. Well, think of this as the Easter Bunny’s revenge.

In what is probably downtown Orlando's weirdest fight yet, someone dressed as the Easter Bunny ran into an ongoing brawl and beat up a man on Orange Avenue Sunday.

An Orlando promoter who goes by Workkk caught the whole thing on video and says the fight started when a man bumped into a woman with dreads.

The two were already punching each other when the fluffy vigilante suddenly jumped in and started swinging. Meanwhile, onlookers yelled, "Beat his ass! Beat his ass!"

A second video with a different angle shows the bunny going ham from across the street.

"As you can see the Easter rabbit been taking boxing classes," the promoter says. "Shit was hilarious."

Video and more at https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2019/04/22/the-easter-bunny-literally-beat-someone-up-in-downtown-orlando-last-night .

Ha ha, I love that movie!! Next up – turtles!!! And not just Florida, what’s up with Orlando this week? It seems that there’s a lot of crazy stories coming out of Orlando lately. Well, when you’re at a Starbucks after a bender, what does one do to pass the time? I know! Let’s threaten people with an army of turtles, and I for one welcome our new turtle overlords. We already have one serving as Senate Majority Leader. Hey o!!!! Thank you I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress!

A Florida man is behind bars after threatening to destroy everyone with an army of turtles, according to a report by WKMG.

Thomas Devaney Lane, 61, is in Brevard County Jail and faces multiple charges of breaching the peace, misusing 911 and resisting an officer without violence, according to Brevard County Jail records.

Indialantic Police received seven calls about a man disturbing the peace Sunday at a Starbucks Coffee, Surfanista Cafe and Sassy Granny’s Smoothies along North Miramar Avenue.

Lane was taken to the police department where he threatened dispatch and then left the building, WKMG reported.

Next up – we go to the land down under, Australia. Yes, there are stupid people in Australia, there’s stupid people everywhere! And I don’t remember ever getting this in a Happy Meal when I was a kid, this might be the worst Happy Meal toy ever!

McDonald's has apologised after a two-year-old child found a used condom in the main dining area of one of its franchises south of Perth and "sucked on it".

The woman, who wished to remain anonymous, told 10daily's Antoinette Lattouf she visited the fast-food outlet in Warnbro with her husband and daughter around 6pm on Friday night.

She told the outlet she was ordering their food at the counter when her daughter found the condom and put it in her mouth.

The mother said the black condom looked used, but she said they couldn't find the packaging anywhere.

She said she believed her daughter would have found it on a chair.

Another awesome movie. Finally this week for People Are Dumb – we go to Wisconsin for this one, and we might have to give Wisconsin the title of “Florida Of The North”. And this is exactly what happens when you live in a rural town where there’s nothing to do. There’s plenty of ways that you could wreck some serious havoc in a Wal-Mart, but really, don’t do this.

A 46-year-old woman and her 25-year-old son were arrested after a series of incidents at a Wisconsin Walmart.

According to the Eau Claire Police Department, Lisa Smith and her son, Benny Vann, entered their local Walmart on Wednesday night along with Smith's dog, Bo. Bo, who was not on a leash, ran away from his owner and rather than chase after him, Smith proceeded to dismantling store displays and putting them in her shopping cart.

When Walmart employees asked Smith to leave the store, she complied and police officers later found her standing in the store entrance calling for her dog.

However, between being asked to leave and the arrival of the police, Smith allegedly went into the parking lot to perform karate moves. Those moves were later put on display as Smith resisted arrested. The Eau Claire police said she also "attempted to kick out a window on the squad car" as officers took her into custody. Smith was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and misdemeanor bail jumping.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

We are in the home stretch here, people! Last week, Alabama showed Mississippi who’s boss in the Family Values Conference by absolutely putting on an epic show and routing them by a whopping 24 points to win the Family Values Conference and set the tone for the Flyover League championship. Now we go to the Layover League as the Batshit Conference Championship commences! It’s Kentucky vs red hot newcomer Georgia in a winner take all contest! We’re live in Ontario, California at the home of the Ontario Reign and UC Riverside, the Citizens Business Bank Arena, for all the action! Who will become the new kings of guano? We will find out! Let’s break out the brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="4"]Kentucky Vs Georgia[/font]

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

So we’re back in the Bluegrass State everybody! Since Florida left the conference, Kentucky frequently owns this conference as they’re home to the nation’s two worst senators – senate majority leader Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. Yes, that Rand Paul, the guy who didn’t know that monkey pancakes weren’t a thing. They’re also home to the worst governor in the country – Matt Bevin, a hardcore Christian fundamentalist who blames everything for bad things that happen but, say guns.

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin on Thursday blamed teacher protests at the state Capitol earlier this year for the shooting of a 7-year-old girl, The (Louisville) Courier Journal reported. That newspaper said Bevin, who was speaking to the Louisville Rotary Club, appeared to be referring to a shooting on March 12 in Shively. The girl was shot when she and her 11-year-old brother were inside a house alone and their uncle, who was their guardian, was outside, according to the newspaper. The Courier-Journal said that on March 27, police said the boy accidentally shot his sister and she underwent surgery. The girl was “listed in good condition, being transferred to begin rehabilitation, eating solid food,” the newspaper reported. Jefferson County Schools closed that day because of teacher “sickouts.” Read more: https://www.kentucky.com/news/local/education/article229676804.html

Oh come on, even Shaq is giving you the facepalm. I mean really… teacher sickouts are the reason why shootings happen? You should join those morons in Texas who blame school shootings on schools having too many exits. And I mean Kentucky is so hardcore Trump that you can’t even get food at a food truck without being lectured about the Trump lifestyle brand. Really, these fucking people.

A Northern Kentucky BBQ food truck caused an uproar with a T-shirt it’s selling with the LGBTQ acronym.

But it’s not ‘lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning or queer’ Belle’s Smokin’ BBQ was advocating. The shirts the food truck sold and later apologized for said: “I support LGBTQ: Liberty, Guns, Bible, Trump, BBQ.”

According to the Courier-Journal, the Williamstown food truck workers have been wearing the shirts for more than a year. But outrage grew Thursday.

Owner Jamie Smith began advertising the shirts Thursday in a since-deleted Facebook post, according to FOX 19. He sold around 100 but removed the post amidst the negative reaction, FOX 19 reported.

Read more: https://www.tri-cityherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article229463304.html

And by the way here’s one of the craziest things ever. Not only does Kentucky have two of the worst national level senators, they also elect local reps as batshit crazy as the people who live in this state. It’s really a second Florida if you think about it. One of the GOP’s current favorite punching bags is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and the fact that she simply exists is enough to drive the most hardcore Trump humper crazy.

WASHINGTON -- Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is welcome to come to Kentucky and tour a coal mine, but first she needs to apologize, says Rep. Andy Barr.

Barr, a Kentucky Republican, wants Ocasio-Cortez to offer a mea culpa to “our colleague and patriot to our country” Rep. Dan Crenshaw, a Texas Republican, before she accepts Barr’s invitation to tour a Kentucky coal mine.

In a letter Friday to the New York Democrat, Barr said her recent comments about Crenshaw “demonstrate a lack of civility that is becoming far too common in the U.S. House of Representatives.”

An apology won’t be forthcoming, a spokesman for the congresswoman said Friday.

Read more: https://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/congress/article229191679.html

[font size="4"]Georgia[/font]

Last time we checked in with Georgia, they were still reeling from that insane election that saw Stacy Abrhams ousted as governor in what appeared to be an attempted coup engineered by crazy people with a white supremacist agenda. And white supremacy still thrives in Georgia, which explains why they’re so batshit crazy. I mean look just because you’re next to Florida doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to smell Florida’s stink! But they do. and they get people like this who claim that their free speech is being persecuted. How dare you be intolerant of my intolerance!!

A University of Georgia PhD student who is facing a disciplinary hearing related to information omitted from his admission application says the investigation is retaliation for his controversial race-related statements.

In January, the right-wing website Campus Reform published a story about Irami Osei-Frimpong, a doctoral student in philosophy and teaching assistant at UGA. It quoted statements Osei-Frimpong had made on social media, such as, “Some white people may have to die for black communities to be whole in this struggle to advance freedom.”

UGA initially issued a statement condemning racism and violence while standing up for Osei-Frimpong’s First Amendment rights. The Equal Opportunity Office, which investigates discrimination complaints, quickly cleared him. But when the article’s author, recent UGA graduate Andrew Lawrence, claimed that a donor had threatened to withhold $2.5 million as a result of Osei-Frimpong’s comments, UGA’s stance shifted. The new line was that it was “vigorously exploring all available legal options” to sanction him.

A few days later, the university received a tip that he had left a 2011 arrest and a stint at the University of Chicago off his application to UGA, and launched an investigation. A hearings board could suspend or expel him. Although investigator Barrett Malone wrote in his report that it is not related to his politics, Osei-Frimpong believes otherwise.

Read more: https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2019/04/17/grad-student-says-uga-wants-him-gone-for-his-political-speech

And by the way – republicans always scream that their views aren’t heard. That is complete and utter bullshit! They’re heard everywhere! And we’re supposed to just shake our head and go “OK”. But really they want a totalitarian dictatorship and they will get it whether we want it or not. But do we really have to put up with their shit like this? I can’t imagine this will end well.

Six Georgia Republicans want to regulate the work of journalists and other media entities by creating an ethics board and instituting requirements for how interviews are conducted.

State representatives Andy Welch, Tim Barr, Rick Jasperse, Ron Stephens, Mike Cheokas, and Mark Newton filed House Bill 734 on Day 40 of the 2019 session.

The measure seeks create a 9-member Journalism Ethics Board responsible for:

Accrediting journalists and organizations
- Entire news organizations would only be accredited if every journalist in the organization was accredited

Investigating and sanctioning journalists after complaints are filed by the public
- Allows for public and private reprimand, probation, and revocation of accreditation

Accepting and managing grants, donations, gifts, and other monetary awards

Setting rules and standards to adhere to for ‘factual and ethical reporting.’

Additionally, the bill requires that media outlets turn over any video and audio recordings in unedited format as well as photographs taken during an interview at no charge upon request by the person interviewed. It sets a 60-day window from the date of the interview to request the files, sets a timeframe to fulfill the request, and allows for private action against the media outlet or journalist for failing to comply, assessing a $100 per day penalty.

Read more: http://evans.allongeorgia.com/1st-amendment/full-text-ga-republicans-seek-to-regulate-the-media/

Yeah you think? And remember when George Bush famously uttered the words “Is our children learning”? Well, no they aren’t, and there’s always a method for their madness. And that method might be – teachers are getting screwed! And Georgia is one of the worst states in the country where teachers are getting screwed the most. No wonder people are so crazy down in the south. We need some more edumacation!

The University System of Georgia has shorted its employees’ pension fund over $600 million since it stopped making legally required payments to the fund over a decade ago, according to a state audit.

When the Optional Retirement Program, a 401(k) plan for USG employees, was created in 1990, legislation required the USG to make two types of annual payments to the Teacher Retirement System to make up for fewer employees paying into the TRS pension fund. Roughly 400,000 current and former teachers, librarians and university faculty and staff are part of TRS.

One of those required payments has not been made since 2008, equaling an estimated $600 million to $660 million, according to the audit. The other payment has never been made, and state auditors don’t know the amount. The audit also found that USG shorted Optional Retirement Program members $12.6 million in fiscal year 2007.

The first payment required by a 2010 law requires USG to make an unfunded accrued liability payment to the TRS equal to the amount that would have been made for ORP employees if they joined TRS. But TRS never billed USG for those payments from 2008–2018.

Read more: https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2019/04/03/audit-finds-university-system-shorted-the-teacher-retirement-fund

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Ooh man this was a close one. It’s down to the wire – Kentucky came back and answered 16 to Georgia’s triple double run. Current score 88 – 86 with less than 30 seconds on the clock. Now down to 15 seconds… ten seconds… Georgia makes the shot… it’s in!!!! 3 pointer at the buzzer! Down goes Kentucky, Georgia moves on!!! What an upset here folks!!! The Stone Mountain racists of Georgia have knocked off conference favorite Kentucky! Oh my god! Wow, what a performance!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week the final two states are vying for their spot in the Final Four and it’s a battle to see who can go for broke with the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We’re live from the home of the San Diego St Aztecs , the Viejas Arena for all the action! And it’s a battle of the Beltways as two conference juggernauts – Wisconsin and Michigan will faceoff to see who will move on! Stay tuned!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Periphery[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest are a really awesome metal band from Baltimore. Playing their song “Blood Eagle” from their album “Periphery IV: Hail Stan”, give it up for Periphery!!

Thank you San Diego!!! We had an awesome time! We will be back soon! We’re off to Mizzoula, Montana next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: American Comedy Club, San Diego, CA
Special Thanks To: American Comedy Club Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UC San Diego Choir Club, La Jolla, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holdersArticles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Periphery Appear Courtesy Of: 3DOT Recordings
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 1, 2019, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-15: Wheel Of Corruption: The Second Part Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-15: Wheel Of Corruption: The Second Part Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up now and get 4 free phones and unlimited gigs on the superfast nationwide 4G LTE network! We are back! What’s up Denver? You guys doing fucking good? Yeah we’re back, rested and ready to go to finish out the first half of 2019. And how about the Colorado Avalanche! You guys ready to take on the Sharks? Yeah that was quite the insane matchup wasn't it? Whew. And by the way I think we can all agree that the international symbol for choking should now be changed to this:

What? Are you a Vegas fan, sir? Give it a chance, we just got up here! For those of you viewing / listening at home there's people already leaving! Do we have time for the thing? Good. So we got to talk about hacked passwords for a minute. So CNN (Trump voice: FAKE NEWS!!!) released a report of the most hacked passwords and it was certainly very interesting. Almost reminiscent of the famous scene from Spaceballs. But what was really the oddity is that our good friends Blink 182 were the most hacked password among musical acts, with the Cowboys and Superman rounding out the top 3. But the band wasn’t having any of it. Even going so far as to hit up fans for alternate suggestions of what they should use as their password. Although if you do use any of the suggested ones, you should probably change those too. Of course, if you use 123456 as your password, not only do you fail cybersecurity, you also fail at life. In fact, you’re probably on the same level as President Skroob from Spaceballs.

OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to cover, but first John Oliver is back and he delves head first into the latest findings from the Mueller report:

Wow, this was the week to end all weeks this week. Whatever that means. And we also probably picked the wrong week to have the Wheel Of Corruption, but fuck it, this is my show! So the guy who we call president, Donald J. Trump takes up a whopping four slots this week! In the first slot is the latest fallout from the Mueller Report (1) – is Trump completely exonerated? In the second slot this week is also Donald Trump (2). While we were horrified at last week’s Notre Dame fire and this week’s unspeakable tragedy in Sri Lanka, one thing you can always count on is for Trump to say the stupidest and most insensitive thing possible! In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump (3) – and while Boeing has had its’ fair share of problems surrounding their controversial 737 Max 8 plane, rebranding is the least of their worries. Taking the fourth slot this week, we’re going to introduce you to a New Mexico Militia (4) that has been rounding up immigrants at the border and turning them over to ICE, and if that wasn’t evil enough, just wait until you meet their leader! For the 5th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and I don’t know if you saw this extremely alarming piece from the LA Times, the City Of Inglewood is experiencing some heat from the new LA Rams stadium and it’s an absolute disaster for longtime residents, we will go behind the scenes. Taking the 6th slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and sigh… Liberty University’s favorite crackpot Nostradumbass, Mark Taylor, just won’t seem to go away, and his predictions are getting nuttier than ever! In the 7th slot this week, we have a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” and the last time we did this we discussed Trump’s pick for the Fed, Herman Cain, and now that he’s withdrawn, we’re going to introduce you to Trump’s other pick for the Fed – Stephen Moore (7) and whew, he crazy. For the 8th slot this week, we have an all new “Beating A Dead Horse” – does Bernie Sanders being a millionaire from his book deal excuse him from trash talking the upper 1%? No!!!! in the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week is an all new “I Need A Drink” – it seems that rapper Drake is on a bit of a losing streak lately, and by that, we mean every single team or athlete that he roots for, loses. So is the Drake Curse a thing? We shall find out! And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! This time it’s a Bible Belt battle royale as Mississippi takes on Alabama for the Family Values championship! The winner moves on to the Final Four, the loser goes home! Plus we have some live music from one of the great metal bands of all time – Dream Theater! Really, buy their new album Distance Over Time right now or you’re no friend of this program. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Flying
- Food
- Elections
- The Border
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s do it!!! Spin the wheel and it goes round and round and round… where does it land? Well it lands on… Donald Trump. Of course we got to talk about it – the Mueller Report is everywhere, much like that K-Pop girl band BLACKPINK – you had no idea who they were two months ago, now they’re everywhere and selling out Madison Square Garden! But you know what – while Trump is gloating about how he’s innocent, it certainly doesn’t get him off the hook for being one of the most crooked and dishonest individuals who’s been president since Nixon!

The Mueller report makes a damning case about Trump’s dishonesty: One of the unmistakable takeaways after reading the Mueller report is how the president of the United States wasn’t honest with the American public when it came to Russia and the entire Russia probe.

During the 2016 campaign and afterward, Trump raised doubts that Russia really interfered in the election.

But as Mueller writes, “The Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election in sweeping and systematic fashion.”

Trump denied that Putin and Russia wanted him to win.

But as Mueller writes, “[T]he investigation established that the Russian government perceived it would be benefit from a Trump presidency and worked to secure that outcome, and that the campaign expected it would benefit electorally from information stolen and released through Russian efforts.”

Trump said he had no business ties with Russia.

But as Mueller writes, “Between 2013 and June 2016, several employees of the Trump Organization, including then-president of the organization Donald J. Trump, pursued a Moscow deal with several Russian counterparties.”.

Yeah Trump is like that guy. So where does this all lead? You can’t immediately scream impeachment – in our 250 year history there has been no president who has been successfully removed from office, and there’s only been 3 impeachment attempts in our history. How do you walk that line if you’re a member of the opposition? Well it’s a very tricky line to walk.

Printers across the country went into overdrive the moment the Mueller Report went public on Thursday, and it seemed like just about everyone started devouring its 448 pages.

Wasting no time, President Trump tweeted "Game over" with an image inspired by the TV show "Game of Thrones," and boasted at a White House event that he was having a "good day," while repeating his assertion that there'd been "no collusion, no obstruction."

But it's not so clear-cut.

The report paints a vivid picture of how the Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election with hopes of helping Donald Trump win. Special Counsel Robert Mueller found no "members of the Trump campaign conspired" with the Kremlin, but on obstruction he wrote, "… while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him."

"I think it's one of those moments where everyone sees exactly what they want to see, as well as some things they didn't want to see," said Michael Duffy, the acting deputy editorial page editor at the Washington Post. "But there's plenty all around for both sides to both feast and regret."

Yeah so if you’re Trump how do you combat this? I know! It’s time to resort to everyone’s favorite tactic when shit doesn’t go your way – the lawsuit! Oh… please, lawsuits always work out so well don’t they when it comes to “combatting the libtards”! Just ask Devin Nunes and that kid from that church in Kentucky how well that’s going!

President Donald Trump filed a lawsuit against House Democrats on Monday seeking to block a subpoena to his longtime accountant, marking the president's first foray into court to stop Democrats from investigating his finances.

Democrats pledged to launch investigations into Trump if they took control of the House of Representatives last November. Now that they have the majority — and the subpoena power that comes with it — Trump's lawsuit is likely just the beginning of a long legal and political fight over how far they can probe into his personal business dealings, as well as the inner-workings of his administration.

Trump brought the lawsuit as a private citizen, not as president, which means he's hired outside lawyers to fight the subpoena; the Justice Department isn't involved, and he isn't raising any executive privilege issues. He's arguing that the House Oversight Committee, which issued the subpoena to accounting firm Mazars USA LLP, had "ignored the constitutional limits on Congress' power to investigate."

"With this subpoena, the Oversight Committee is instead assuming the powers of the Department of Justice, investigating (dubious and partisan) allegations of illegal conduct by private individuals outside of government," Trump's lawyers wrote. "Its goal is to expose Plaintiffs’ private financial information for the sake of exposure, with the hope that it will turn up something that Democrats can use as a political tool against the President now and in the 2020 election."

Well yeah you’re actually wrong on this one Trump! And if you thought you lived through the worst of republicanism, whether it’s from Bush V Gore, to the Tea Party, to Glenn Beck, to Alex Jones to Benghazi and every bullshit scandal Fox News pulled out of their ass against Obama, well, you ain’t seen nothing yet in regards to the Mueller report!

Just as Robert Mueller’s report created a roadmap for Democrats, Republicans have their own plans to weaponize it for Trump: by putting the origins of the investigation and the Obama administration on trial.

Even as the redacted version of the Mueller report documented some 10 instances where Trump potentially obstructed justice, as well as dozens of contacts between Russian operatives, trolls or compromised individuals, many Republicans are once again doubling down on their contention that the real culprit is Obama’s former secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, who lost to Trump in the 2016 election and is now a private citizen.

“Certainly a thorough investigation that looks at wrongdoing and how we can make sure that bias is not remotely involved in investigative decisions for anyone is appropriate,” Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), who has Trump’s ear as the head of the House Freedom Caucus, texted VICE News as he was on a plane.

While Democrats now run the House, Republicans still control all the gavels in the Senate. And Senate Judiciary Chair Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), a one-time moderate, has become as Trumpian as anyone, particularly as his re-election campaign is in full swing.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… oh hey it’s a clip without context!

You know that look on the Easter Bunny’s face really says it all doesn’t it? Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump again! You know, it’s in the Top 10 official policy that we don’t joke about tragedy – whether we lost a piece of humanity that we won’t be able to reclaim in the Notre Dame disaster, or the horrifying tragedy on Easter Sunday in Sri Lanka. But there’s one thing that you can always count on, just like death and taxes, is that Trump will say the most stupid, heartless, and insensitive thing possible to the point where it shuts down governments and they’re like “LET’S FIGURE IT OUT!!!!”. So what stupid and insensitive thing did he say in regards to the Notre Dame disaster?

As Paris’ historic Notre-Dame Cathedral burned Monday, President Donald Trump tweeted about the “horrible” sight and suggested that the French deploy flying water tankers to quell the flames engulfing the iconic church.

“So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris,” the president wrote on Twitter. “Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!”

The Associated Press reported that firefighters responded to a massive blaze in the French capital on Monday as flames and black smoke were seen billowing from the top of the medieval cathedral, one of Paris’ most famous landmarks.

The cause of the fire was unknown, though French media reported that it might be linked to renovation work being done in the peak of the church.

Hey, what a great idea! Let’s drop 150 tons of water onto a structure that was built in the 1100s with absolutely no reinforcement! Oh wait, it would completely destroy the ancient world wonder. In fact this live-tweeting of the event by Trump was so jaw-dropping, unbelievably stupid that the French government literally had to stop what they’re doing to respond to the awfulness:

As news spread Monday of the catastrophic fire at Notre Dame cathedral in central Paris, U.S. President Donald Trump offered his thoughts on the matter. Two hours later, French safety officials offered a withering take-down on those thoughts.

After expressing his shock at seeing the fire in a tweet, Trump suggested, “Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!” France’s civil defense agency, Sécurité Civile, without mentioning Trump, underscored why that would be a terrible idea.

“All means are being used, except for water-bombing aircrafts which, if used, could lead to the collapse of the entire structure of the cathedral,” it wrote.

It was a reply that quickly got the Twitter population buzzing and a not-so-subtle way for French authorities to suggest that the massive fire was not an issue where they wanted fire-fighting advice from a politician.

Yes, thank you Stephen! Off with you sir! Of course as if the Notre Dame disaster wasn’t horrifying enough, everyone on Sunday woke up to the devastating suicide bombing in Sri Lanka that killed almost 300 people. As if that wasn’t shitty enough – ISIS – which had supposedly been eradicated thanks to Trump – had been claiming responsibility for the attack! But guess what? Trump once again says the most stupid and insensitive thing possible!

President Donald Trump botched his initial statement about the deadly bombings in Sri Lanka on Sunday morning, tweeting that the death toll was in the hundreds of millions.

“Heartfelt condolences from the people of the United States to the people of Sri Lanka on the horrible terrorist attacks on churches and hotels that have killed at least 138 million people and badly injured 600 more. We stand ready to help!” Trump wrote in a tweet that was left up for at least 20 minutes before he corrected the number to 138, according to CNN’s Brian Stelter.

Before noticing the error and taking the tweet down, Trump then tweeted to wish the country a “Happy Easter.”

Trump’s condolences come in the wake of a brutal series of bombings at luxury hotels and churches in Sri Lankan cities of Colombo, Negombo, and Batticaloa on Easter Sunday. The latest reported death count estimated that 207 people had been killed in the blasts.

Well that’s half true. I mean 138 million??? That’s the number he came up with? I mean it was 138 when I saw it, he’s off by several zeroes there. By the way in case you’re wondering how much 138 million people is, Mexico’s *ENTIRE* population is a total of 117 million, that’s just 17 million more on that tiny island! And to put things in perspective, the actual population of Sri Lanka is 21.7 million, so this is 635 times higher than the original island's population! You really can't make this stuff up! Why is my voice getting so high?

President Donald Trump Sent a tweet Sunday morning expressing condolences for the bombings of churches and hotels in Sri Lanka that killed more than 200 people on Easter Sunday. But in expressing his support for the victims, Trump wildly inflated the number of dead, claiming that the blasts killed “at least 138 million people.” The population of Sri Lanka is 21.4 million. “Heartfelt condolences from the people of the United States to the people of Sri Lanka on the horrible terrorist attacks on churches and hotels that have killed at least 138 million people and badly injured 600 more,” Trump wrote in the original tweet. “We stand ready to help!”

No one is immune to typos. But what seems particularly surprising about the Sunday morning tweet with the wildly inflated death toll is that it stayed up for at least 20 minutes before it was deleted and corrected. Trump even sent out another tweet before he evidently noticed the error, wishing his followers a “Happy Easter” and patting himself on the back “because your Country is doing so well.”

Trump eventually replaced his Sri Lanka tweet with another one that put the death toll right at the front of the message. “138 people have been killed in Sri Lanka, with more that 600 badly injured, in a terrorist attack on churches and hotels,” Trump wrote. “The United States offers heartfelt condolences to the great people of Sri Lanka. We stand ready to help!” Early estimates had put the death toll at less than 140 but it has since increased to more than 200.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s hit the spin cycle!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Donald Trump!

Dude, put a bra on that thing! There's children that could be watching! Besides, your upper back could use the extra support! Spin it again! Wait, Donald Trump again? Is the wheel broken? Can we get the crew out here again to fix this thing? I swear when you transport it, things get lost when you go to set it up. The crew is out here fixing it, I will just play some Words With Friends on my phone. Come on, play the intermission music already!

OK we’re back! Spin it again! Shit, OK we got to do Trump for a third entry this week. I mean it is a wheel, it has a finite number of items on it. So Boeing’s ill-fated 737 Max 8 is still in the news and for all the wrong reasons. And of course, you can always count on Trump to say something stupid and fucking crazy because he has access to social media, and he only uses it for bad things. You know just once I want to see Trump tweet about puppies or fields full of flowers, but eh, he won’t do that. Instead, he chooses to tweet shit like this:


Well, at least here he admits that he knows nothing! Because I got news for ya, Trump, rebranding is the least of the 737 Max 8’s problems!

Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg made a bold promise to travelers Thursday.

When the grounded Boeing 737 Max planes return to the skies after a software fix due within weeks, they will be "among the safest planes ever to fly,'' he said.

"We remain confident in the fundamental safety of the 737 Max,'' Muilenburg said in a video accepting blame for Boeing's role in two fatal Max 8 crashes in five months.

Skittish travelers will likely need more convincing, presenting a major challenge to airlines including Southwest, American and United when the planes return to their flight schedules.

Already, some are questioning Boeing's confidence in the plane.

"737 Max is a super safe aircraft as long as it's on the ground,'' one Twitter user responded after Muilenburg posted a snippet of his video Thursday.

Yeah and you might as well convince your children that it’s safe to get candy from the guy in that creepy looking panel van parked across the street! Go on, it’s safe! Eat all the Reese’s you want! But really Mr. Mullenburger couldn’t possibly convince us that a plane that guides itself straight into the ground while pilots have to look up the instructions on how to use the autopilot system mid flight is safe! In fact some airports just plain can’t handle the 737 Max 8. Talk about a clusterfuck!

Before last month’s crash of a flight that began in Ethiopia, Boeing Co. said in a legal document that large, upgraded 737s “cannot be used at what are referred to as ‘high/hot’ airports."

At an elevation of 7,657 feet -- or more than a mile high -- Addis Ababa’s Bole International Airport falls into that category. High elevations require longer runways and faster speeds for takeoff.

The Ethiopian airport’s altitude hasn’t been cited as a factor in the downing of Flight 302 and likely didn’t cause the crash. But it could have exacerbated the situation because an airplane’s performance degrades at higher altitudes, said a 737 pilot who flies into high-elevation airports such as Denver and agreed to speak anonymously because he’s not authorized to talk with the media.

Data released last week from the Ethiopian Airlines flight indicated the pilots didn’t cut the 737 Max 8 airplane’s speed after takeoff when they should have. The preliminary report on the disaster said the plane’s anti-stall system pushed the nose of the plane down less than two minutes into the flight because of a malfunctioning sensor. The pilots struggled to control the plane as it hurtled toward the ground at 575 mph.

Yeah I can imagine operating an automatic pilot is kind of like that! Maybe we could just call it the 737 Trump Edition! Because everything he touches turns to shit anyways. And in fact, the problems that the 737 Max 8 has been having overseas may be coming stateside! Just look at what happened with this Southwest flight from Orlando to a maintenance facility in Victorville.

A Southwest Airlines Boeing 737 Max 8 being ferried without passengers experienced engine trouble shortly after takeoff, prompting pilots to return to the Orlando International Airport. The plane was heading to Victorville, California.

The plane's No. 2 engine began to overheat after takeoff, after ingesting debris on the runway which caused a buildup of exhaust. Southwest Airlines says the engine did not blow out.

The Boeing 737 Max 8 aircraft has been under scrutiny following two fatal plane crashes in Indonesia and Ethiopia that showed similarities in flight data, bolstering fears that the cause of the crash may have been due an automatic flight control system unique to the 737 Max 8. It is currently grounded by the FAA for passenger flights, though airline crews are allowed to fly them on so-called ferry flights from one airport to another.

In a statement about Tuesday's incident Southwest Airlines said: "Southwest 8701 operating as a ferry flight with no passengers onboard returned to Orlando International Airport just before 3pm EDT after Pilots reported a performance issue with one of the engines shortly after takeoff. The Crew followed protocol and safely landed back at the airport. The flight was scheduled to fly to Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville, California, for short-term storage. The Boeing 737 MAX 8 will be moved to our Orlando maintenance facility for a review."

Yeah it’s fine all right! Everything is just peachy keen with the 737 Max 8! Just slap a new name on it and call it a day, right? Well that’s all well and good in Trump world, but just remember – he knows nothing and he admits it freely now! The deplorables just won’t care. Hey, it’s their funeral! Just remember that airlines won’t be ordering any more Max 8s. But really Boeing, the bottom line is the least of your problems:

Airlines are holding off on orders for Boeing's 737 Max — the latest sign of how deeply the company's best-selling jet has been thrown into crisis.
Boeing (BA) released data Tuesday that showed only 10 of the planes were ordered in the first two months of 2019. There were no orders in March, the month that a 737 Max jet flown by Ethiopian Airlines pilots crashed in that country, killing everyone aboard. It was the second fatal crash involving a Max in recent months.
That small number compares to 112 orders for the plane in the first quarter of 2018. At that time, Southwest Airlines (LUV) had ordered 40 of the jets, while Ryanair ordered 25.
Orders for Boeing's other commercial jets actually increased slightly. The company sold 85 other commercial jets last quarter, compared to 68 a year earlier. But the sales data for the Max gives the clearest picture yet of how much scrutiny of that model could be hurting Boeing's bottom line.

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[font size="8"]Larry Hopkins
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Let’s spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! No, a whammy!!!

Spin it again. and it lands on… the border! Hey, there’s a topic we haven’t discussed on the wheel here yet! So we got to talk about this creep. There’s a group of armchair patriots calling themselves the “United Constitutional Patriots”, and hey, with a name like that, you know that they’re a group of real winners. Well, maybe they’re winning in the Donald Trump sense, because he’s enabled the creeps and losers like this. They’ve been going around the border and “arresting people” – mainly immigrants – and handing them over to ICE. Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Are they cops? No. do they have any authority to do this? No. Are they enabled by Trump and Fox News? You betcha! In fact here’s more on this group of winners:

On Saturday, the FBI arrested a New Mexico-based member –and possible leader – of the self-styled militia group, United Constitutional Patriots, charging him with being a felon of possession of firearms and ammunition. The militia has allegedly been detaining migrants at the southern border in New Mexico, and the state’s governor, Michelle Lujan Grisham has said the militia has “no authority” to do so.

Angela Kocherga has been covering this story for the Albuquerque Journal, and says the militia has a camp in Sunlalnd Park, New Mexico, just across the border from Texas. The militia is still there, even after the ACLU tipped off New Mexico’s governor and attorney general about the group’s practices, which is what led to the FBI’s arrest of one of its members. Kocherga says the group’s current spokesman told her it intends to continue detaining migrants.

“He admitted to me they are detaining people, but he said, legally, they have every right, and New Mexico is an open-carry state so they can also carry weapons,” Kocherga says.

The person who was arrested, however, wasn’t allowed to carry weapons because of his criminal background.

Wait, an armed militia wannabe has a criminal background and was stockpiling weapons that he can’t use? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!!! Well, he’ll be getting his day in court and it looks like he’ll be locked up relatively soon. But this guy was yet another one of Trump’s “very fine people” on both sides. But really, there’s just one side that’s attracting the creeps and low lifes and that’s the GOP.

The alleged leader of an armed militia group that has intercepted and detained migrant families along the southern border in New Mexico was charged with federal firearms offenses on Monday.

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, 69, of Flora Vista, N.M., appeared in federal court in Las Cruces after his arrest on Saturday on charges of illegally possessing firearms as a felon.

A criminal complaint filed by the FBI states that Hopkins, also known as Johnny Horton Jr., was in possession of nine firearms and ammunition in his northern New Mexico home in Nov. 2017. He had three prior felony convictions dating back to 1996, including impersonating a peace officer in the state of Oregon in 2006, according to a press release issued by the U.S. Attorney’s office.

Hopkins’ arrest is not tied to his involvement with the border militia.

So do I! And if you guessed that they had absolutely no authority to do this, you are absolutely, 100% correct! Although if you’re shocked by this, you’re in the wrong place. If you are not in any way shocked at all by this, the New Mexico governor is on your side. Of course they’re not authorized to do this, they’re patriots you know!

A right-wing militia group operating in southern New Mexico has begun stopping groups of migrant families and detaining them at gunpoint before handing them over to Border Patrol agents, raising tension over the tactics of armed vigilantes along the border between the United States and Mexico.

Members of the group, which calls itself the United Constitutional Patriots, filmed several of their actions in recent days, including the detention this week of a group of about 200 migrants who had recently crossed the border near Sunland Park, N.M., with the intention of seeking asylum. They uploaded videos to social media of exhausted looking migrant families, blinking in the darkness in the glare of what appeared to be the militia’s spotlights.

Professed militias have long operated along the border with attempts to curb the flow of undocumented migrants into the United States. But targeting the recent influx of families, who are legally allowed to request asylum and often quickly surrender to Border Patrol agents, is raising tension with human rights activists in this part of the West.

The American Civil Liberties Union denounced the militia’s actions in a letter on Thursday that asked New Mexico’s governor and attorney general to investigate the group. The A.C.L.U. said the militia had no legal authority under New Mexico or federal law to detain or arrest migrants in the United States.

Yeah I think it’s about a mild shock at this point. Now here’s where it gets weird. Wait, did I say weird? I mean this is par for the course for the Trump fans here. Not only did Mr. Hopkins illegally round up immigrants, and he had stockpiled weapons that he can’t use because of his criminal history, guess what else? He had a hit list of people he wanted to kill which included – wait for it – Obama, Hillary, and George Soros! Hey, we hit the trifecta here! Whew, who had the over / under on this one??

Before the F.B.I. arrested Larry Hopkins, the leader of the right-wing militia that detained migrant families in the New Mexico desert, he’d had so many run-ins with the law that his police record stretched across much of the United States.

Oregon police arrested him in 2006 on charges of impersonating a police officer and a felony weapons offense. They had found him showing guns to teenagers in a gas-station parking lot while wearing a police-style uniform and a badge emblazoned with the words “Special Agent.”

“Hopkins stated that he worked for the federal government directly under George Bush,” Officer Jack Daniel of the sheriff’s office in Klamath County, Ore., wrote in his report. Mr. Hopkins, the report said, claimed variously to be investigating a meth lab, hunting fugitives and undertaking unspecified “operations” in Afghanistan.

Officials in South Dakota indicted Mr. Hopkins in 2009 on charges of failure to pay child support. Long before then, Mr. Hopkins pleaded guilty in 1996 in Michigan to felony possession of a loaded firearm and was sentenced to 16 months to two years in prison.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Ram It Into Bankruptcy
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You are now entering… THE SPIN ZONE!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh it’s the Guacamole option! Hey man, Colorado, surprisingly is home to some of the best Mexican food in America, and I do love some good Mexican food, as we have seen in previous editions, so my sous chef, Fernando has been learning from some of the best. Come on out here, Fernando! I have this great plate of carnitas here… and now Fernando is going to make my tableside guacamole, here we go. Not too much tomato, some salt and lime… Wow, look at that!

That’s Fernando everybody! Let’s try some of this… oh that’s good! Spin it again! hey, it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The city of Inglewood, California is undergoing a renaissance as the new epicenter of Los Angeles with the new colossal and expensive new home of the Los Angeles Rams set to open next year. But what kind of effect is the new, as yet unnamed stadium going to hold for the long time local residents who make up the city of Inglewood? Well, it’s having some positive effects, but a whole lot of negative ones as well, and a lot of the longtime residents are being, well, forced out. In fact the new stadium is having a staggering effect on Inglewood’s economy.

According to Inglewood mayor James Butts, a total of 3,000 men and women come to work daily in the city of Inglewood.

The mayor assures that one of the positive effects is that Inglewood's unemployment rate is the lowest in the last 40 years, but some residents argue that construction is the reason why rents have skyrocketed.

"Rent is increasing for tenants and they do not have more options, and a lot of people are leaving," said Luis Alvarado, who works in Inglewood.

The mayor said he will present a measure to control the number of allowable rent increases and that in case tenants are unable to pay, they will be given a large amount of money to help them relocate.

But high rents isn't the only issue residents have noticed.

Residents point out that traffic and homelessness have increased as well as the amount of people stealing in the area.

Yes damn those long time home owners and residents of the city, always wanting more. But how much more do they want? In fact, they actually want less. In fact the new stadium and also a new proposed stadium threaten one of the city’s landmarks – the Forum. So how would the Forum be effected by a new stadium and the proposed building? Well, a whole lot, actually.

Inglewood has come a long way since Dr. Dre proclaimed in the ’90s that it was “always up to no good.”

A surge of economic development is wiping away its reputation as a battle zone for rival gangs and promises to remake the city not only into a sports and entertainment mecca but also a cultural destination.

But now that Inglewood is on the come up, longtime residents and city officials face a different challenge: Many who have weathered decades of hardship no longer can afford to live there and are being left out of the economic renaissance.

Donald Martin, 67, lost the roof over his head after a new landlord evicted him with just 60 days’ notice from the building he had lived in for almost a decade.

Tomisha Pinson, who lives next door to the new L.A. Rams and Chargers stadium and entertainment complex, received a notice that the monthly rent on her two-bedroom Inglewood apartment would spike from $1,145 to $2,725.

Ouch, if you put that into perspective, that’s an almost 238% increase in the cost of rent. And we’ve seen some of the apartment buildings in Inglewood, they’re not exactly something that you should pay that much for. But what can be done about it? The new stadium will accommodate two teams – the NFL’s Rams and Chargers, meaning that for 16 weeks out of the year, there will be no off season time when the NFL starts back up. Here’s one take on the rising rent in Inglewood.

Rent prices have reportedly surged as some renters like Tomisha Pinson, who lives next door to the facility, saw hers go from $1,145 to $2,725, according to The Los Angeles Times.

“Everybody can agree that these 120 percent rent increases are astronomical and ridiculous,” said D’Artagnan Scorza of the Uplift Inglewood Coalition. “I think we can start there.”

The issue of gentrification in the area is something rapper Nipsey Hussle fought as he tried to improve the neighborhood for the Black residents in it.

His multiple businesses and STEM center attempted to give residents a way to better their lives and the neighborhood.

In a small step to slow the problem, Inglewood’s city council passed a rent moratorium, as Curbed Los Angeles reports, creating a 45-day ban on rents within the city being raised more than 5% as well as stopping all evictions unless “the underlying reason is for criminality or drug use.”

And the pay is too damn low! In fact the city of Inglewood is actually doing something to help curb the skyrocketing rent. Well if they think that the new NFL stadium is causing headaches, wait until a new NBA stadium comes in! And Inglewood has exactly 4 years to prepare for this, so they had better get ready for the impending economic disaster that could be forthcoming in 2024.

Despite some lawsuits against their efforts, the Los Angeles Clippers are confident that they will be playing in a new arena starting in 2024. The Clippers have identified a location in Inglewood, near the NFL stadium that the Rams and Chargers will share, and owner Steve Ballmer has been touring venues around the country to borrow successful architectural ideas.

One certainty, Ballmer told attendees at the World Congress of Sports, is that the arena will not be home for a hockey team, which allows it to be constructed in a way that puts fans closer to the court.

"I like Utah quite a bit," Ballmer said of Vivint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City. "Utah is very condensed, very noisy. They've just done a remodel to give them very nice luxury spaces."

Another reason why Ballmer wants the Clippers to have their own arena is scheduling. At Staples Center, the Clippers are third in the pecking order behind the Lakers and Kings for scheduling preferences. Check out the video above for more of Ballmer's thoughts regarding a new home for the Clippers.

Bernie is right. Greed is not good. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin it to win it!! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round… Something random in the news!

McDonald's has apologised after a two-year-old child found a used condom in the main dining area of one of its franchises south of Perth and "sucked on it".

The woman, who wished to remain anonymous, told 10daily's Antoinette Lattouf she visited the fast-food outlet in Warnbro with her husband and daughter around 6pm on Friday night.

She told the outlet she was ordering their food at the counter when her daughter found the condom and put it in her mouth.

Worst happy meal toy ever! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around, my brothers and sisters of Colorado! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!!!! You know it’s good to be back! Thank you sir! Last time we congregated, I told you that we could predict the future of religion on this planet that we live on. But there’s one guy who literally gets paid to predict the future! Well, he doesn’t really get paid to predict the future, but he gets paid, somehow, and makes some truly awful predictions. I’m of course talking about Liberty University’s favorite crackpot wannabe “prophet” Mark Taylor. Mark Taylor, as you know, Liberty University made a movie about him, and he just won’t stop predicting truly awful things. Like this.

Mark Taylor, the so-called “firefighter prophet,” issued a genuinely alarming “prophecy” yesterday in which he proclaimed that President Trump will start to imprison and execute his critics in such a massive and brutal manner that even Trump’s own evangelical advisers will turn against him. Taylor, who was being interviewed by Tiffany FitzHenry, insisted that the fact that these religious leaders would dare to turn against the president is a sign that they are tools of Satan who are trying to stop Trump from carrying out divine justice.

“If these evangelicals do this, they’re not on heaven’s agenda, they’re not on heaven’s frequency,” Taylor said. “They’re on Satan’s frequency. I have been warning that God has been showing me—for over a year and a half now—he’s been showing me that Jezebel is part of the presidential spiritual advisory board, that spirit is operating on that board.”

Taylor said that God showed him that “there would be a decision that the president has to make” to which Trump’s religious advisers would object on the grounds that Trump’s response is “not godly” … but that would be because they don’t realize that Trump has been called to carry out “God’s justice on the earth right now” and “nothing will stop what is coming.”

“Justice is here,” Taylor said. “We have been praying for this for decades, including those that have gone before us, but we are the ones that get to see this. I’m going to issue a warning here: if you don’t have a stomach for justice, you’d better get one quick and you’d better get red-pilled quick, because there will be suicides—which we all know are coming, we’ve already had some—there will be people imprisoned for life for treason, and there will be those that will be executed for treason.”

“Justice is coming,” he said. “It’s fixing to be served out on a massive scale.”

Yeah they could be, sir. But I’m pretty sure that the type of justice that Mr. Taylor has in mind certainly is not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want, is it? Well, now, the LAWRD works in mysterious ways, does he not? I mean really does he think this is a possibility? Can the dead suddenly come back to life and run for president? And in the opposing party? Is he really that stupid??? Yes, yes he is!

A few weeks ago, Mark Taylor, the so-called “firefighter prophet,” claimed that God had told him that President Trump is not going to be the only member of the Trump family elected to the White House. At the time, Taylor didn’t know who the next Trump president would be, but since then, he claims that God gave him a dream suggesting that Donald Trump Jr. could follow his father into the Oval Office … and just might do so by running on a ticket with John F. Kennedy Jr.

Those who might understandably wonder how JFK Jr. could possibly make a run for the White House given that he died in a plane crash 20 years ago are obviously not familiar with the right-wing conspiracy theory that states that he faked his death and is now a key part of the QAnon movement through which he is working with President Trump to take down the deep state.

During a recent appearance on “The Blessed To Teach Show,” Taylor revealed that he shared his dream with his friend and fellow conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin, who is a leading proponent of the JFK-QAnon theory, which led the duo to wonder if the dream was a sign from God of a looming Trump Jr./JFK Jr. ticket.

Yes, yes it does! I mean god, and Liberty University likes this guy? I might have to have a talk with the Rev. Falwell Jr, because he is quite literally off his rocker. I mean do they really think they are representing the good LAWRD JAYSUS here? I would think that even the LAWRD might frown on this next prediction!

Mark Taylor, the radical right-wing conspiracy theorist and so-called “firefighter prophet,” has begun issuing some genuinely alarming prophecies in recent weeks, warning that President Trump has been tasked by God to carry out divine justice by executing his political opponents.

Taylor, about whom Liberty University made a movie last year, appeared on “The MC Files” program on Monday night, where he doubled down on this prophecy, warning that leaders like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested and put to death and that anyone who dares to oppose Trump will be “standing in the way” of God’s will.

“God is going to serve justice,” Taylor said. “Justice is coming … [Obama] will be arrested. Justice will be served. Period. Hillary Clinton will be arrested, all these people, it’s coming.”

I don’t think that even the good LAWRD JAYSUS knows what to do with this one, for it says in the good book that you should judge not lest ye be judged! They’re convinced of this nonsense that justice will be served, whatever that is. This guy is certifiably insane, and he really needs to stop making predictions, because he is making some truly awful and terrible ones, like this:

During his recent appearance on Tiffany FitzHenry’s YouTube program, radical right-wing conspiracy theorist and so-called “firefighter prophet” Mark Taylor claimed that Barack Obama will soon admit to having been born in Kenya in an attempt to avoid being prosecuted for treason.

“I don’t think the guy is American,” Taylor said. “It’s already been proven that that birth certificate is a phony.”

Taylor insisted that the issue of Obama’s birth certificate is vitally important because it is the key to effectively negating his entire presidency, citing the QAnon conspiracy theory which claims that high-ranking intelligence officials in the Trump administration are leaking information about a secret plan to take down a global network of satanic pedophiles that includes prominent Democratic Party entertainment, political and business figures.

Can we drop this nonsense already? No, because they are that completely stupid and insane, and they will believe anything that they’re told! And by the way give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? We’ve seen some insane theories from Mr. Taylor but I think this might be one of his most insane yet:

Mark Taylor, a radical right-wing conspiracy theorist and the so-called “firefighter prophet,” made a return appearance on Tiffany FitzHenry’s YouTube program last week, where he predicted that those who support abortion rights will soon begin to advocate for the murder of pregnant women.

Taylor insisted that legal abortion, in addition to being a source of power for the demon god Baal, is also a form of population control. He prophesied that reproductive rights advocates will begin to call for women who get pregnant to be put to death.

“When you’re talking about control and the abortion issue, they go hand in hand,” said Taylor. “This is about controlling the population.”

“I’ll tell you what else is probably going to be exposed and I’ll release it here for the first time,” he added. “Look for these guys—the extreme left, the extreme globalists—that when a woman gets pregnant, their goal will be to take the woman and the child.”

“It’s like taking two birds with one shot, almost,” Taylor said. “Look for that somewhere in the world, where these elites go, ‘When you get pregnant at this point, we’re going to take the mother and the child.'”

That’s funny, I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! You get nothing, you lose, good day sir! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Stephen Moore
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Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… oh it’s another clip without context!

Yeah BOOOOOOOO!!! You know just when you think you’ve heard the GOP say the dumbest thing possible, they continue down that path every day. Spin it again!! Hey it’s time for This Fucking Guy!

So the last time we did this segment, we profiled Trump’s pick for the Federal Reserve Board, Herman Cain, a guy so toxic that even longtime GOP senators and Trump loyalists wouldn’t vote for him to run the most powerful bank in the world. Well, Trump certainly has a way of picking people doesn’t he? I mean because this next guy who he has waiting in line for the job is Stephen Moore. And if you want to know some of Stephen Moore’s greatest hits, then you don’t have to look very far because well, like most of Trump’s cabinet picks, Moore is a creepy weirdo and everyone knows it!

Stephen Moore, one of President Trump’s planned nominees for the Federal Reserve Board, once said women should be banned from the March Madness basketball tournament — and a prominent magazine paid him for that opinion.

“Here’s the rule change I propose: No more women refs, no women announcers, no women beer venders, no women anything,” he wrote in a 2002 column for the conservative National Review, recently unearthed by CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Paul LeBlanc.

Moore, who now says he was joking, also suggested that female athletes should be paid less than men and mocked women’s political opinions (“sooo malleable”).

Moore’s columns helped launch a successful media career; he went on to serve on the Wall Street Journal editorial board. He later became a contributor at CNN, where he’s been a fixture during the Trump era, defending the president on all kinds of matters (he once said that Stormy Daniels’ lawsuit against Trump was merely “a porn star” trying to “call attention to herself”). Moore left his position with CNN last month.

Wait, why does he have a problem with women beer vendors? I know I don’t! They make beer and I want to drink it! So what’s the problem with that? And if that’s not enough, he really has a problem with women in sports. And you can forget about the ladies being officials in his favorite sporting events like football and baseball, because he won’t have any of it!

One of President Donald Trump's picks for the Federal Reserve Board previously wrote columns about banning women from refereeing or announcing men's sports.

Columns written by economic commentator Stephen Moore for the the conservative National Review magazine in the early 2000s were unearthed by CNN on Monday.

The columns, in which he called co-ed recreational leagues a "travesty" and said women should be banned from refereeing, announcing, or beer vending at men's college basketball games resurfaced after Trump tweeted on Monday that his other pick for the Federal Reserve Board, Herman Cain, withdrew from consideration amid scrutiny over sexual harassment allegations that ended his presidential campaign in 2012.

Moore told CNN's KFile that the columns for the National Review were "a spoof," adding that he has "a sense of humor."

Yes you probably have a point there, ladies! And by the way if you’re wondering what a dangerous jackass Stephen Moore could potentially be when he’s in control of the fed, well, guess what? You’re probably right on that one! Here’s another guy I wouldn’t be putting in charge of spending $10, not running the most powerful bank in the world. If you guess that he couldn’t handle his finances, well, you’re right!

One of President Donald Trump’s new picks to serve on the Federal Reserve Board, Trumponomics author Stephen Moore, was found to be in contempt of court in 2012 for failing to pay more than $300,000 in alimony and child support.

Court filings recently unearthed by The Guardian’s Jon Swain and David Smith show Moore repeatedly failed to make payments that were part of a 2011 divorce settlement with his ex-wife, Allison Moore. Not only was Moore found in contempt of court, but his failure to comply with the terms of his settlement even prompted a judge to order the sale of his house to satisfy his debts.

According to court records, several police officers accompanied relators and a locksmith to to Moore’s home in May 2013 to change the locks and prepare the property for buyers. Only after the court-sanctioned break-in did Moore pay roughly two-thirds of what he owed his ex-wife, court filings show. Allison Moore told the court the $217,000 payment was enough, and stepped in to halt the house re-sale.

Holy shit!!! And Trump is trusting this guy with running the Fed when he can’t even manage his own fucking life to the tune of $300K??? GTFO!!! Here’s why putting partisan hacks like Moore and Cain could potentitally be not only dangerous, but could have consequences that could last decades after they’re long gone. I mean Trump seems to attract a certain type doesn’t he? Creeps, lowlifes, sexual harassers, and the extremely incompetent. That’s Stephen Moore in a nutshell!

Politicians have had strong opinions on what the Federal Reserve should and shouldn’t do throughout its 105-year history.

They have pushed for lower interest rates and easier money, or for this or that policy on bank regulation or consumer protection. They have summoned Fed leaders to the White House or Congress to persuade and cajole.

In that sense, there is nothing new in President Trump’s aggressive approach to the Fed. This week, he called for lower interest rates and new quantitative easing, and he signaled an intention to appoint two vocal supporters, Stephen Moore and Herman Cain, to the board of governors.

What makes Mr. Trump’s approach to the Fed so unusual is that he has repeatedly, publicly undermined a Fed chief he appointed (Jerome Powell), and, if successful, he would put two officials with a background in partisan politics in the inner sanctum of Fed policymaking. (Mr. Moore was founder of the Club for Growth, which supports conservative candidates for office, and Mr. Cain ran for president.)

That’s right. That’s Stephen Moore – this week’s:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… A RANDOM TWEET!


Did you guys read the report? Because it says literally the exact opposite. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

Let’s talk about the big election in 2020, one that already has an unprecedented number of presidential candidates who are either running or announcing that they're going to run. One candidate who’s no stranger to the big dance is Bernard Sanders. And Bernie has received the most scrutiny of any other candidate because for the rest of his term he's a registered independent. He runs as a democrat because even he knows that independent candidates generally have no chance in hell of winning a general election and usually wind up flipping votes to conservative candidates. But even the almighty Bernie Sanders isn't immune from the kind of scrutiny every presidential candidate faces. Yes, last week Bernie bros and gals everywhere were shocked to learn that the candidate who they so admire for trash talking the upper 1% - surprise – is a member of the upper 1%! What happened? Did that really just blow your mind? No? Now people who oppose the longtime Vermont senator are saying that it detracts from the discussion about one of Bernie’s key campaign issues – income inequality. But does it really? The answer is no! Bernie can talk about whatever he wants! So why is this such a big deal among Bernie’s base? The answer might surprise you!

Bernie Sanders has had a good decade. Since 2009, the socialist senator has pulled in nearly $5 million in income, according to a Forbes analysis of 10 years of Sanders’ tax returns.

For that, he can largely thank his 2016 presidential campaign—and the lucrative book deals that followed. Sanders and his wife, Jane, earned between $200,000 and $330,000 from 2009 through 2015, before his fiery bid for the White House. Then, around the time he conceded the Democratic nomination to Hillary Clinton, he inked two deals with publisher Macmillan.

The Sanders’ income, listed on tax returns they file jointly, increased dramatically. In 2016, they pulled in nearly $1.1 million—more than quadruple their previous year’s earnings of about $250,000. Around $800,000 of it came from the advance Sanders got for writing the hit Our Revolution: A Future to Believe In. Royalties from the bestseller flowed in 2017, and Sanders kept writing. He released a second book and signed a deal with Macmillan for a third, which helped push the couple’s earnings beyond the $1.1 million mark ($960,000 of it from the book deals). Last year, the couple made about $575,000, some $380,000 of it coming from Sanders’ side gig as an author.

“I wrote a best-selling book. If you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too,” Sanders recently told the New York Times.

So the term “socialist millionaire” may seem like a total and complete oxymoron. Does that excuse Bernie from the debate about income inequality? Well, let me fill you in on a little secret about how the economy works: Bernie has a product to sell, and you don’t. That’s right – people bought his book because they wanted to hear what he had to say, and they didn’t buy your door to door drone delivery service, because your drone flew to the wrong house and got shot down! That’s a nice return on investment for you! What makes Bernie qualified to talk about income inequality if he’s a member of the upper 1%?

Bernie Sanders is not apologizing for his newfound wealth.

The presidential candidate told supporters in Gary, Indiana, on Saturday: “I didn't know that it was a crime to write a good book, which turned out to be a best-seller.”

Sanders has come into a new income bracket largely through sales of his 2016 book Our Revolution: A Future to Believe In, where the senator shares stories from his underdog 2016 presidential campaign.

The book details Sanders' “progressive economic, environmental, racial, and social justice agenda,” an agenda that has made the book's success—and Sanders profit off that success—a sticking point.

The criticism started when Sanders admitted that he is now a millionaire earlier this week, while announcing he plans to release a decade of his tax returns before April 15—after dragging his feet over their release. His campaign swiftly emphasized that his policy platform, which is highly critical of billionaires and corporations, has not changed as a result.

That’s a good point Homer! And why should Bernie apologize? Well I think I speak for everyone when I say “Who gives a fuck???”. Let Bernie speak!!! Here’s the thing – we got 21 candidates now running for president and we really only know where two of them stand on anything! Was it a crime that Bernie wrote something that people actually wanted to read? Well, he wrote it and you bought it!

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) on Saturday pushed back against criticism he received after saying this week that he is a millionaire.

"I didn't know that it was a crime to write a good book, which turned out to be a best-seller," the 2020 Democratic presidential candidate told a crowd in Gary, Ind.

"I don’t apologize for writing a book that was No. 3 on The New York Times best-seller [list]," he added but reiterated his belief in a "progressive tax system which demands that the wealthiest people in this country finally start paying their fair share in taxes."

Sanders told The New York Times in a story published Tuesday that he became a millionaire because of book sales.

“If you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too,” he told the newspaper. He also said he would release his tax returns by Monday. Some of his competitors for the Democratic nomination have already released their returns.

Sanders's 2017 Senate financial disclosure forms show he made about $1.06 million that year, most of it from book royalties, the Times reported.

It’s probably a good thing that Bernie doesn’t apologize for anything. But Bernie’s got a point you see, unlike Trump, Bernie released the last 10 years of his tax returns. That automatically makes Bernie a better man than Trump because his tax returns are out in the open and he didn’t cheat on his 3 wives with prostitutes. And that’s where Bernie uses his wealth controversy to hammer out a new tax plan!

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who is now a millionaire, hit back at criticism of his growing net worth, crediting his book for his cushy financial situation.

“I didn’t know that it was a crime to write a good book which turns out to be a best-seller,” the 2020 hopeful said Saturday during a Gary, Indiana, community meeting, CNN reported.

Sanders then pointed out that he has advocated for progressive taxation, meaning, “If I make a lot of money, you make a lot of money.”

“So again, I don’t apologize for writing a book that was No. 3 on the New York Times best-seller, translated into five or six languages and that’s that,” he added.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it…….. Oh it’s a clip without context!!

I’ll take a guy who’s married and faithful to his husband than a guy who cheats on his wives and gets spanked with a copy of Forbes Magazine that has his picture on the cover, thanks! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for I Need A Drink!

You know by now that the idea behind this is that we cocktail, and while we’re cocktailing we talk about literally anything in the world as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And we’re in Denver here, it’s the Mile High City, so keep in mind that one drink here in Denver is equal to five once you get closer to sea level. This week, our subject is sports curses. Tell me bartender, what goes well with a sports curse? A glass of Haterade? What’s that? Vodka and Gatorade? Nah, I’ll stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So Drake… what the fuck is up??? Last week Drake, who is a die hard Toronto fan, showed up rooting for his team, the Maple Leafs, and they lost to the Bruins. Yeah so thank Drake when yet *ANOTHER* Boston team wins a championship. Can we stop that from happening please? Drake, maybe you should stop rooting for teams!

There is no such thing as a “normal” curse, but the one that has Drake’s name attached to it has fans wanting him to be passionate from miles away.

The Grammy award-winning artist was in attendance of Game 4 of the NHL playoffs between the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Boston Bruins, sporting a Leafs jersey.

Drake is a Toronto native. Showing up to support the local team isn’t anything out of the ordinary, but given Drake’s reputation of his support resulting in losses, some fans expressed concern.

Coincidence or not, the Maple Leafs lost, 6-4, as Toronto slid into a 2-2 series tie with Boston.

So the Drake curse is a thing! And it doesn’t just stem from one little loss that could have sent the Leafs to the next round of the playoffs. Here’s where it gets weird. It’s a whole pattern of teams that Drake roots for that lose. Kentucky? Lost. Conor McGregor? Lost. Roma? Lost. Raptors? Lost. Now Drake’s on a tear through the soccer world that has teams both cheering and jeering having the rapper as a fan!

The “Drake Curse” has been ravaging the soccer world, and has now apparently expanded its scope to a whole other sport and returned with a vengeance to Toronto.

The hilarious online theory claims that almost anytime the Canadian rapper, 32, takes a photo with an athlete, that athlete’s team will lose its next game.

The curse is has now widened to include any team that Drake roots for, which appeared to be the case on Wednesday night when Drake (wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey) was spotted sitting in a box at Scotiabank Arena to cheer on his hometown team at Game 4 of the Leafs’ first-round series against the Boston Bruins.

The Leafs’ lost 6-4, and it didn’t take long for the so-called curse to rear its head on social media.

The latest example of the curse comes shortly after the Italian AS Roma soccer team jokingly (perhaps) banned its players from posing for a photo with Drake for fear of hitting a losing streak.

So what do coaches and players think of the Drake Curse? Well when Drake goes to Europe, he’s a fan of Italian soccer team FC Roma, and they are not having any of it. In fact they have actually go so far as to ban their players from taking pictures with the rapper himself!

Paris Saint-Germain's Layvin Kurzawa is the latest footballer to pose for a photo with the Canadian star and have his team lose their very next game.

PSG's spectacular 5-1 loss to Lille has reignited suspicions that Drake, while obviously multi-talented, is a curse on every sports star he meets.

And AS Roma want nothing to do with it.

And then there was the actual coach of the Maple Leafs who doesn’t exactly buy into the whole concept that there’s a curse surrounding Drake. If he doesn’t think it’s a thing then its not a thing!

By now, the Drake Curse has probably usurped the Madden Curse as the most consistent curse in sports. (The Los Angeles Times actually documented the extensive history of The Drake Curse that's haunted beyond just his hometown Raptors, with extensions out to Alabama to Conor McGregor to Serena Williams and beyond.)

It's even hit the point where AS Roma has banned their players from taking pictures with Drake until the end of the season.

So perhaps the Leafs surrendering six goals in a series-tying loss was to be expected with Drake in the building.

Leafs head coach Mike Babcock, meanwhile, didn't want to blame Drizzy.

“I’ve heard lots of things since I’ve come here, but that’s one of the craziest things,” Babcock said when asked about the curse. “The game is played on the ice by us. There’s no curse whatsoever.

But there is a flipside to every curse. There’s south London team Crystal Palace which has had its’ fair share of shaky seasons but then last week had that monstrous and unexpected win against Manchester United. And who was in attendance? That’s right – Drake! So was the curse lifted with just one unexpected win? Maybe. Maybe not.

Crystal Palace appear to have banished the ‘Drake Curse’ or at least survived it, after beating Arsenal at the Emirates on Sunday afternoon. The Eagles produced a shock Premier League 3-2 win over the Gunners thanks to goals from Christian Benteke, Wilfried Zaha and James McArthur. They managed this despite Zaha posing for a picture with Canadian rapper Drake earlier this month. For the uninitiated, posing for a snap with ‘Drizzy’ has proved to be bad luck for a string of sports stars in recent months, including Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Conor McGregor, Paul Pogba, Sergio Aguero and Jadon Sancho.

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/22/crystal-palace-banish-drake-curse-shock-win-arsenal-9285073/?ito=cbshare

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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Let's spin the wheel one final time this week! And it lands on... oh hey another clip without context!

These fucking people... sigh. spin it again! It's time for Stupidest State 2019! Hit it!

16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Last week we began first round play from Reno as Florida totally annihilated Oregon to win the Gun Nut Conference championship and advance to the Final Four! This week, we’re live in Sacramento at the home of the Sacramento Kings, the fabulous Golden 1 Center for the Family Values Conference Championship! This time around, bitter rivals Alabama take on the mighty Mississippi for the battle of the Jesus crown! Alabama owns this conference and they are no stranger to the dance, while red hot Mississippi proves they’ve got the skills, know how and stupidity to advance to the Final Four and ultimately control of the Flyover League! Who thumps the Bible better? Why it’s time to find out!

[font size="4"]Mississippi Vs Alabama[/font]

[font size="4"]Mississippi[/font]

So Mississippi is obviously no stranger to this dance as they’ve been a Final Four contender multiple years in a row. You know the confederacy is so deeply engrained in their culture that they can’t give it up. And what does that get you? well, it gets you an invitation to our Stupidest State contest and an advantage in the Family Values Conference. Well, JAYSUS is so strong here that he promotes some hardcore racism at that. And racism is never a good thing no matter what. What a great idea – bring back some good old fashioned cross burnings! David Duke would be proud!

A Seminary, Mississippi man pleaded guilty to federal charges that he burned a cross in an African-American neighborhood in 2017 to "scare and intimidate" residents.

Louie Bernard Revette, 37, pleaded guilty to one count of interference with housing rights, a federal civil rights violation, and one count of using fire during the commission of a federal felony, according to a Department of Justice news release.

“The defendant’s racially motivated actions sought to threaten and intimidate the peaceful residents of this community,” Assistant Attorney Eric Dreiband of the Civil Rights Division said in the news release. “The Department of Justice will not tolerate abhorrent and hateful acts of intimidation, and we will continue to prosecute anyone who commits a hate crime to the fullest extent of the law.”

And speaking of the confederacy, why is it that the most hardcore religious states are also the most hardcore pro-fascism states? It’s almost like they want us to be ruled by a totalitarian religious theocracy. And the words “do unto others” definitely don’t apply here. So what happens when these ultra conservative “patriots” get together?

Members of Confederate 901 and The Hiwaymen say they are marching to "draw a line in the sand" on Saturday against the university for the removal of Confederate symbols. The groups are calling the event the Mississippi Stands Rally. George "K-Rack" Johnson is with Confederate 901. In a Facebook Live video, Johnson says that students, faculty, and staff at the university should not be afraid that they are coming to town.

“We’re not coming to Oxford or the university to cause any trouble,” said Johnson. “We’re trying to just come in there and show that there’s lots of people throughout the state of Mississippi and the South that still believe and support their southern pride, and their history, and their heritage.”

Johnson also says there is no evidence that the pro-Confederate supporters are racist or affiliated with white supremacist groups.

Read more: http://www.mpbonline.org/blogs/news/2019/02/22/pro-confederate-groups-planning-rally-at-the-university-of-mississippi/

Yeah that would probably be a good thing there, Alex! But in case you’re wondering Mississippi’s hardcore religious values, well, they’re bringing back the Ten Commandments. And in places where you probably shouldn’t have the Ten Commandments.

Mississippi law would require schoolchildren to recite the Pledge of Allegiance and see the Ten Commandments be displayed on public-school walls under new bills in the Legislature this session, requirements that may violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. One would also require Mississippi teachers to teach Mississippi's pledge glorifying the state flag, which contains the Confederate battle emblem in its canton.

State Rep. Credell Calhoun, D-Jackson, introduced House Bill 427, which would amend the Mississippi Constitution to mandate that public-school teachers and principals must display the Ten Commandments. It would require that school officials display the religious laws "on an appropriately framed background with minimum dimensions" of 11x14 inches in all classrooms, auditoriums, and cafeterias, alongside the motto, "In God We Trust."

Students would have to recite all 10 commandments within the first hour of class each morning. Any teacher or student who objects to reciting it would be excused "without penalty" from reciting the pledge.

Calhoun is a Missionary Baptist who sits on the House Education Committee. He introduced a similar bill last year, but it died in committee.

Read more: http://www.jacksonfreepress.com/news/2019/jan/17/mississippi-may-mandate-ten-commandments-and-pledg/

[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]

Alabama is back everybody! And just when you think it was safe to go into malls and cheerleading practices, guess who’s back? That’s right! Roy Moore, the wannabe cowboy with a giant hat and a very tiny pistol (use that metaphor as you will!), is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaackl!!! Yes, he’s back ladies and just when you thought it was safe for your teenage daughters, well, you might want to reconsider your thoughts because unfortunately, it’s Mississippi. And unfortunately after the absolute hell we went through with that election, Roy Moore is the best they got.

A new poll of Alabama voters finds that Republicans are eager to re-nominate the extremely problematic Roy Moore for a Senate rematch against Democrat Doug Jones.

Moore is a disgraced former state Supreme Court justice — removed from office twice, most recently for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples — who has been accused of past sexual misconduct, including against a 14-year-old girl. Moore denied any wrongdoing, and his 2017 candidacy was backed vigorously by President Trump, who exhorted Alabamians to “VOTE ROY MOORE!” Moore, who believes homosexuality should be illegal and declared “the transgenders don’t have rights,” lost to Jones by barely 20,000 votes that December.

Moore, 72, recently told a Christian radio station that he is up for another Senate run: “I’m seriously considering it,” Moore said, insisting without evidence that the seat had been “stolen” from him.

He would enter the race as the front-runner to land the Republican nomination. A Mason-Dixon poll released this week asked 400 GOP voters: “If the 2020 Republican primary for Alabama’s U.S. Senate seat were held today, for whom would you vote?” Moore was the runaway choice in a field of six named candidates, garnering 27 percent support — nine points higher than second place Mo Brooks, a sitting congressman. Moore has nearly universal name recognition for these voters — and only 29 percent hold an unfavorable opinion of the man.

Wow, only 29% unfavorable? Even after all his creepy sexual nonsense and escapades? That party really has a type don’t they? There’s Trump, there’s O’Reilly, there’s Moore, I could go on and on naming creepy GOP perverts. But it gets worse. So much worse. He’s actually leading in the polls!!! I mean come on WTF!!!

New poll results show 27-percent of Alabama Republicans favored Rep. Roy Moore for the Senate nomination.

The poll says Rep. Mo Brooks trailed behind Moore with 18-percent.

According to the results, Moore has the advantage in name recognition too with 96-percent.

The poll reports, Rep. Doug Jones who Moore lost the Senate seat to back in 2017 and was recognized by 77-percent of voters polled.

Yeah seriously, Alabama? What is wrong with you??? Damn it! I mean first Sheriff Joe won’t go away now we have to deal with Roy Moore again? You know what the definition of insanity is right? So please let’s keep electing the same assholes who drove us into the ground. It’s only going to get worse. Thankfully the Alabama GOP isn’t having any of it.

Republicans in Washington are dead set against Judge Roy Moore being the party’s Senate nominee in Alabama next year and say they will do whatever is possible to prevent that from happening.

Moore is expected to announce a decision soon on whether to challenge Sen. Doug Jones (D-Ala.), a top Republican target, and a new poll shows him leading a field of possible GOP Senate candidates.

Moore, 72, lost to Jones in a 2017 special election after several women accused him of making sexual advances on them when they were teenagers and he was in his 30s.

Senate GOP officials say it would be a disaster if Moore is the party’s nominee.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Oh no contest. Alabama utterly routed Mississippi and they will challenge last year’s champions Florida for the Layover League crown. Final score – 91 – 67. Alabama will move on to the Final Four, and Mississippi unfortunately is shown the door.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week the Round 2 action continues! It’s Round 2 Week 3 and we’re heading over to the Layover League for the Batshit Conference Championship! We’re live at the home of the Ontario Reign and UC Riverside, the Citizens Business Bank Arena in Ontario, CA for the action! Kentucky takes on red hot Georgia to become the reigning kings of guano! One of these two teams will advance, the other goes home! Stay tuned!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Dream Theater[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, I am super excited to have my next guest on – the legendary kings of progressive metal. Their latest album is called “Distance Over Time”. You can see them live on tour through May 1st. Playing their song “Barstool Warrior”, give it up for the one, the only Dream Theater!

Thank you Denver and the Colorado Podcast Festival! We had an awesome time. We’re off to San Diego next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Colorado Convention Center, Denver, CO
Special Thanks To: Colorado Podcast Festival
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UC Denver Choir Club
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Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 24, 2019, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Dude, put a bra on that thing! There's children that could be watching! Besides, your upper back could use the extra support!

*audience laughs and applauds*

This week the Top 10 is live from the Colorado Podcast Convention with the famous Wheel Of Corruption! We delve into the latest from the Mueller report, find out if there's any bad cops from the Steele Dossier, Trump says something stupid and insensitive about the Notre Dame disaster, we wonder if Boeing should rebrand the 737 Max 8, and just when you think it's safe to go into malls and cheerleading practices, Roy Moore is back, ladies! Plus we also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - yeah we all know Bernie Sanders made a shit ton of money through his book deal, but does that mean he's still able to talk trash about the upper 1%? Yes! And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to find out what's going on in the city of Inglewood - turns out longtime residents aren't too happy about the colossal new stadium being built for the LA Rams and we're going to find out what's up. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Liberty University's favorite crackpot, Mark Taylor, is back with some insane predictions and our resident pastor is going to go through them. Plus we have an all new I Need A Drink - is the Drake Curse a thing? We shall find out! And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! It's Round 2 Week 2 and that means that it's a Family Values Faceoff - who will be Jesus' favorite - Mississippi or Alabama? We will find out! Plus we have live music from Dream Theater!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Apr 20, 2019, 02:12 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of #8: Spring Break Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of #8: Spring Break Edition

Welcome Back To The Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh, hello! I know, right? I can’t believe it’s Spring Break already! Party!!!! Well, while we’re tidying up our mobile set here and prepping the Wheel Of Corruption for future endeavors, we will be taking a short break this week. In the meantime we’ve got lots of things planned for the Top 10 including setting up a new Instagram account and we’re getting ready for our big University Tour! Yes, the Top 10 will be hitting the road and stopping at our higher learning institutions around the country. This is going to be very exciting as we will get a chance to explore audiences which we might not have been able to reach otherwise. We’ll be hitting universities from Rutgers to Michigan State to Oregon to Alabama State to UC Berkeley to Gonzaga to UCLA to Ohio State to everything in between this great nation of ours. Starting with Idiots #7-5 on July 10th of this year, we will be hitting the road. No more Chuckle Huts for a while, the Top 10 has graduated and moving on to college! Plus we will also be debuting some fresh content to go along with the universities that we will be touring. Oh and let's not forget our big Texas Roadshow to start the season! Where we will be asking one of the big questions in life: "Are there liberals in the Lone Star State?" and the answer of course is yes, but we will be finding out what's like to be liberal in Texas. Enough of my banter, let’s get to the dates and details!

7/17/19 – Athens, Georgia - University Of Georgia
7/24/19 – Gainesville, Florida - University Of Florida
7/31/19 - Raleigh, NC - University Of North Carolina
8/7/19 - Dark (Best Of)
8/14/19 – Lexington, Kentucky – University Of Kentucky
8/21/19 – New Brunswick, New Jersey – Rutgers University
8/28/19 – Syracuse, New York – Syracuse University *CANCELLED*
9/4/19 – Dark (Labor Day, Best Of)
9/11/19 – Lansing, Michigan – Michigan State University
9/18/19 – Chicago, IL – Northwestern University
9/25/19 – Columbia, Missouri – Mizzou
10/2/19 – Lawrence, Kansas – University Of Kansas
10/9/19 – **DARK** (Best Of)
10/16/19 – Phoenix, AZ – Arizona State University
10/23/19 – Las Vegas, NV – UNLV
10/30/19 – Eugene, OR – University Of Oregon
11/6/19 - Spokane, WA – Gonzaga University
11/13/19 – Boise, ID – Boise State
11/20/19 – Berkeley, CA – UC Berkeley
11/27/19 – Dark (Best Of)
12/4/19 – Palo Alto, CA – Stanford University
12/11/19 – Los Angeles, CA – University Of Southern California
12/18/19 – Los Angeles, CA – UCLA

Enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to for our Best Of. But first we’ll play the John Oliver segment where he destroys the WWE and their reckless policies:

For the top spot this week is the guy who we currently call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (1). From Idiots #6-2, remember that time when the championship Clemson Tigers visited the White House and Trump treated them to a fast food buffet, and then he hilariously misspelled “hamburgers”? So do we! Taking the second slot, from Idiots #6-7, the proposed “Green New Deal” from freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is causing conservative heads to explode, mainly because they didn’t read it and are just making shit up about it. For the third slot, from Idiots #6-5, John Kasich got bumped from a flight and began to channel his inner Larry David in what seems like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode come to life. For the fourth slot, from Idiots #6-1 – Brazil’s election ushers in a new national nightmare as a guy who is called the “Trump Of The Tropics”, Jair Bolsonaro (4), got elected and his first order of business was purging the Brazillian government of its’ enemies. In the fifth slot this week, from Idiots #6-6, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), is going to take a look at controversial home DNA testing company 23 & Me, and why it constantly gets data wrong, and why you should be alarmed about it. And from Idiots #6-3, in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, our resident pastor is going to ask the question “Would you kill Baby Hitler?” the answer might surprise you! For the seventh slot, from Idiots #6-10, can the world’s most famous stripper, Stormy Daniels, make it as a stand up comedian? She says yes, but actual comedians say no. For the 8th slot, from Idiots #6-8, we have “How Is This Still A Thing?” and people, you knew that interviewing Roseanne about anything was a bad idea going in, so why did you do it? In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, from Idiots #6-12, it’s our special All Florida Man edition of People Are Dumb, because Florida Man brings the crazy extra hard. And finally to round out this Best Of Edition, we have the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries (10) from Idiots #6-8, we hang out with the US State Department! Plus we’ll end with that time we had Cypress Hill on the show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #6-2

Congratulations to the Clemson Tigers for winning this year’s College National Championship. What a game that was! I mean Alabama got their asses handed to them didn’t they? Well the Tigers will get to visit the White House. And remember what an honor that used to be? Well thanks to a certain guy who is currently called president, they might want to reconsider. Especially considering that he’s channeling his inner Richmond Valentine from the movie “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Or maybe Kevin Spacey from House Of Cards. OK, bad example. Well, Clemson, here’s what you got waiting for you!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.

That’s right! No shut down means no White House staff which means no White House kitchen staff to cook for the Clemson team! So you could say that this is a House Of Carbs! And by the way this is what happens when the country is run by the less sophisticated – they actually enjoyed it! Either their standards are incredibly low or they haven’t had a decent meal in months! What is Clemson feeding them?

President Donald Trump paid tribute to college football champion Clemson for winning the College Football Playoff National Championship at a White House ceremony Monday evening.

Trump said he paid for their meal of "American fast food'' because of the partial government shutdown. He did not disclose the tab.

"We went off and we ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza,'' Trump said after returning to the White House from a trip to New Orleans. "I think they'd like it better than anything we could give."

Some players "whooped" when they saw the spread, according a pool report.

"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to have a little fun," said the president, a fast-food lover himself.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said much of the staff that works in the White House residence has been furloughed due to the shutdown, "so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's favorite fast foods."

Wow, how our standards have fallen as a society. Really he’s the kind of guy who would replace the White House kitchen with a McDonalds and Burger King just because he could. And he’s also fat and has no taste. And by the way let’s show that picture of Trump with the spread.

First off why is Trump like so proud of this? He’s feeding a championship football team garbage fast food that you can buy at the Flying J off the interstate. And second, why is he doing jazz hands? Ah, never mind, I have the answer! Just look at what Abe Lincoln is doing in the background!

By the way you’re wondering how much this spread costs, well…

Trump said, “So I had a choice. Do we have no food for you? Because we have a shutdown,” Business Insider reported. “Or do we give you some little, quick salads that the First Lady will make?”

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a statement blamed Democrats for the shutdown and said that Trump was personally paying for the food.

The White House didn’t release the cost of the meal, but some news outlets tried to estimate the expense. The Post worked it out to be $2,911.44—or maybe $2,437.11, depending on whether the food came from the 2-for-$5 menu.

USA Today estimated the expense to be $861.72. Maybe the difference came down to what was included. USA Today didn’t include french fries or pizza, which Trump said would be part of the order, because none appeared in the pictures they used for their estimate.

Yeah so he spent $860 on fucking fast food. Really there were no other restaurants around? I mean you don’t own one that’s literally 5 miles from where you live? That wouldn’t work? Oh fuck it. I give up sometimes. And by the way here’s how much of a flaming narcissist Trump is. Not only did he pay for the food, he also said it was all food he likes, and he didn’t even get the quantities right!

Imagine being invited to the White House for dinner. You pack your best suit or dress and fly up to Washington, D.C. The day of the dinner, the president announces to reporters that he will be serving you fast food. He seems really excited about it. “I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King with some pizza,” he says. “I really meant it. It’ll be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

He has to be kidding, right? He really means it? It’ll be interesting? We’ll see what happens? A few hours later you head to the White House, go through security and enter the State Dining Room. This is what you see:

Yes, President Trump served selections from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King to the Clemson Tigers football team, who were in Washington on Monday to celebrate their national championship. The scene was surreal, with boxes of Quarter Pounders piled high on the White House’s silver serving ware. Sterling gravy boats were stuffed with dipping sauce containers. Fries had been removed from their original packaging and put into paper cups emblazoned with the presidential seal.

Trump was beaming. “I like it all,” the president said as aides lit an ornate candelabra. “It’s all good stuff. Great American food. It will be very interesting to see at the end of this evening how many are left.” He added that “the Republicans are really, really sticking together” and that “we need border security.”

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[font size="8"]Green New Deal
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From: Idiots #6-7

If there’s one liberal currently that conservatives *LOVE* to hate, it’s New York’s freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Is it because she’s Latina? Is it because she’s a woman? Is it because she’s from New York? Is it because she cares about the environment and the people? Or is it all of the above? Oh who am I kidding? The answer is easily all of the above! But her proposed “Green New Deal” has them talking and not in a good way. I wonder if it’s because the Koch Brothers handed them a large sack of money to talk trash about it? Or something else?

Democrats are bristling over a GOP effort to pit senators against the party's newly resurgent progressive base.

Republicans, fresh off a border funding fight they are widely viewed as having lost, are eager to pivot to offense as they hunt for 2020 fodder, when several Senate Democrats will be running for president.

Republicans say Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is mulling a series of votes to try to jam Democratic senators, whom he has repeatedly tried to paint as pushed off center by the “radical left.” His first step this week was fast-tracking the "Green New Deal" resolution by putting it on the Senate calendar.

But top Democrats are brushing off the potential political fallout of McConnell’s tactics, comparing them to a “political stunt.”

Sen. Dick Durbin (Ill.), the No. 2 Senate Democrat, said Republicans were using a routine maneuver because it “amuses some small-minded senators.”

Oh yeah it’s just par for the course. Mr. Senator, if I may guess what senators those were? I’m thinking McConnell and Lindsay Graham. I’m correct? Woohoo!!! And we’re not even doing the Wheel Of Corruption this week! Oh and by the way in case you’re wondering whether or not republicans couldn’t possibly be any more childish, one representative in Kentucky is trying to prove it wrong with a whoopee cushion! Yes, the worst environmental problems can now be solved with fart jokes!

Kentucky’s Republican agriculture commissioner is giving away a green whoopee cushion to highlight his opposition to the “Green New Deal” pushed by Democrats in Congress.

Ryan Quarles is running for a second term as Kentucky’s commissioner of agriculture in 2019. Last week, his campaign announced it would hold a contest to give away a green whoopee cushion to draw attention to what he says are the anti-agriculture messages pushed by Democrats.

The “Green New Deal” pushed by some Democrats in Congress is a plan to combat climate change. An early draft of a FAQ about the plan mentioned getting rid of “farting cows.” A spokesman for U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said the quip was meant to be ironic.

Uh… farting cows? Did you not see that episode of South Park? If we all hold it in, we all spontaneously combust! I mean it’s just science! And by the way Mitch McConnell is such a worthless piece of shit that you can’t get him to vote on anything or do anything meangingful, but he’s forcing a vote on this because he knows it will fail. What a jackass!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the Senate would vote on the Green New Deal introduced last week by Sen. Edward Markey, D-Mass., and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y.

"I've noted with great interest the Green New Deal, and we're going to be voting on that in the Senate to give everybody an opportunity to go on record," McConnell told reporters.

The proposal, which is not expected to pass the Republican-dominated upper chamber, could force some Democrats to make a politically awkward calculation.

Democratic liberals, including all of the senators currently running for president, have come out in support of the legislation, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years. Scientists have said dramatic, immediate action is necessary to stem the catastrophic effects of climate change.

Democratic moderates have been less than enthusiastic about the proposal. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi derisively referred to the House version of the resolution as a "green dream," while only 11 of the 47 senators who caucus with the Democrats have signed on as sponsors.

I swear that there’s a Simpsons GIF for everything! But in case you’re wondering whether or not there’s a rhyme or reason for Mitch McConnell’s madness, well you are absolutely correct because he’s forcing this vote because he knows the democrats will lose on this issue and that it will make them look like losers. Um… fuck you Mitch!

The Green New Deal, unveiled by New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Massachusetts Sen. Ed Markey, will not resonate with American voters, longtime Democrat Barney Frank told CNBC on Tuesday.

The proposal, which calls for generating 100 percent of the nation's power from renewable sources within 10 years, is emerging as a major campaign issue, with all the Democratic senators running for president in 2020 pledging their support and President Donald Trump and Republicans blasting it.

"I think the Green New Deal would be loser," said Frank, the former Massachusetts congressman who retired in 2013 after more than three decades on Capitol Hill. "There's an argument that you don't destabilize a society by doing too much change at once."

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[font size="8"]John Kasich
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #6-5

We need some music for this one!

Last week, a new book came out about former Ohio governor, presidential candidate and guy who is doing his best to channel his inner Larry David, John Kasich, ran into a bit of a scuffle with a comedian who was on the same flight he was. It turns out the former governor was bumped from a flight and got into a spat with the star of a Hulu show called “Difficult People” and was pulling his inner Larry David and complaining that he got bumped to coach class. The horror! For the record, let’s call this piece “Curb Your Kasich”.

A comedian on Friday told the full story of her recent encounter with former Ohio Gov. John Kasich, whom she says stole her seat aboard an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco when he was bumped.

Julie Klausner, known for the Hulu sitcom “Difficult People,” said the Republican was an “obnoxious” flight companion on her podcast, “How Was Your Week?”

She said a pilot needed to fly last-minute aboard the plane and bumped Kasich out of his seat, according to Cleveland.com. But instead of taking the downgraded seat he was assigned, the former presidential candidate took the comedian’s, the outlet reported.

Klausner, who identifies as a liberal, said once she read up on Kasich — and his political views — she decided to post about the incident on Twitter.


Yeah we can assume it was pretty much like that. So John Kasich may have been channeling his inner Larry David by refusing to fly coach. But as you peel back the layers of this story, it gets weirder and weirder, because, why wouldn’t it?

Earlier in the month Alaska Airlines needed to bump a passenger from first class on a New York JFK to San Francisco flight for a pilot traveling to a duty assignment. The passenger they downgraded to economy was John Kasich, who just finished serving 8 years as Governor of Ohio and who sought the Republican nomination for President in 2016.

Only Governor Kasich didn’t leave the first class cabin, he sat down in another passenger’s seat instead.

Passenger Julie Klausner agreed to take a later flight rather than engage the drama. Alaska Airlines reimbursed the cost of the margherita flatbread she purchased while waiting an extra four hours.

It’s been reported that Kasich was asked to move to extra legroom coach (‘premium’) and also to 12F which I don’t think is an extra legroom seat on any Alaska aircraft (and we know that since this wasn’t the last flight of the day on the route that the aircraft was an Airbus A320). Here’s where he sat instead.

And by the way does anyone else find it ironic that Kasich picked a fight with the star of a show called “Difficult People”? Seems like Kasich just gave Klausner and the Difficult People writers some material for the next few episodes!

A comedian on her way to San Francisco from New York City earlier this month said former Ohio Governor John Kasich took her first class airplane seat after Alaska Airlines staff moved him to a new seat in economy class.

Julie Klausner, who appears in the Hulu sitcom "Difficult People" said she was surprised to find Kasich in seat 1D on her morning Alaska Airlines flight from John F. Kennedy Airport to San Francisco.

Kasich recently finished a second term as Ohio's governor. He also sought the Republican nomination for President during the 2016 election.

Gate agents told Klausner a pilot who needed to travel last-minute had been given Kasich's original first class seat. Alaska agents re-assigned Kasich to a seat behind the curtain in its extra-legroom economy cabin, Premium Class.

But the politician instead sat down in an unoccupied first class seat, which ended up being Klausner's.

Oh and by at least some good came out of this incident, and for a cause that a pro-life conservative like Kasich would absolutely fucking hate! So Klausner decided to use this story for good instead of bad and raised a lot of money for Planned Parenthood!

Comedian Julie Klausner has raised thousands of dollars for Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio after reportedly losing her seat on a cross-country flight to former Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R), an abortion opponent.

Klausner, a California-based comedian best known for her role on the Hulu series “Difficult People,” posted on social media earlier this month that she lost her spot on an Alaska Airlines flight from New York to San Francisco after Kasich’s original seat was occupied by a pilot flying last minute, according to Cleveland.com.

Kasich was then moved to her what had been Klausner's seat, prompting her to take a separate flight, according to her account.

Klausner said that when she began getting insulted and criticized on social media for her depiction of the incident, she decided to donate $1 to Planned Parenthood of Ohio for every comment — both positive and negative — posted on her social media accounts.

On Tuesday she posted PayPal receipts on Twitter showing her donation of $2,774 to Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio.

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[font size="8"]Jair Bolsonaro
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From: Idiots #6-1

Welcome to your new nightmare, Brazil! And hey if you think I’m not going to a piece on Brazil’s creeping dictatorship without wearing a traditional Carnivale costume and playing Samba music, you are dead wrong! Hit it! So in case you haven’t noticed during the last two weeks, a new era of ultra far right fascism has begun in the South American country under their new president Jair Bolsonaro, a guy who is a Putin stooge and who many have described as the “Trump Of The Tropics”. And he is unbelievably scary, and what he’s doing actually puts Trump to shame, and it’s only going to get worse! He’s already got to work purging his enemies!

Brazil’s new president has authorised the dismissal of civil servants who do not share his far-right ideology, it has been reported.

Having taken office this week, Jair Bolsonaro has launched a purge of left-wing government officials with approximately 300 people expected to be dismissed.

Officials who are seen as being supportive of the previous left-wing and centrist governments will be removed to “clean the house”, Mr Bolsonaro’s chief of staff Onyx Lorenzoni said.

“It’s the only way to govern with our ideas, our concepts and to carry out what Brazil’s society decided in its majority,” Mr Lorenzoni said, according to Die Welt.

He added that the vast proportion of those dismissed are on temporary contracts and their removal is necessary to “do away with the Socialist and Communist ideas that during 30 years have led us to the chaos in which we live.”

Because purges always work so well don’t they? Just look at Turkey, the Philippines, Poland, and Hungary to find out where Brazil’s headed. Because Putin is turning the world’s democracies on their ear by spreading fear, hate, and misinformation that gets creeps like Bolsonaro and Trump elected. And guess who he’s going after? Oh wait, you don’t have to! If you’ve been following Trump you already know!

Newly installed President Jair Bolsonaro targeted Brazil’s indigenous groups, descendants of slaves and the LGBT community with executive orders in the first hours of his administration, moving quickly after a campaign in which the far-right leader said he would radically overhaul many aspects of life in Latin America’s largest nation.

Sao Paulo's stock market, meanwhile, jumped 3.56 percent to a record closing of 91,012 points as new Cabinet ministers reinforced the intent to privatize state-owned companies and a Brazilian arms maker benefited from Bolsonaro's plans to loosen gun controls. Similar spikes in stock prices also occurred during the presidential campaign.

One of the orders issued late Tuesday, hours after Bolsonaro's inauguration, likely will make it all but impossible for new lands to be identified and demarcated for indigenous communities. Areas set aside for "Quilombolas," as descendants of former slaves are known, are also affected by the decision.

Another order removed the concerns of the LGBT community from consideration by the new human rights ministry.

But of course he’s going to restore order, people! I mean just look at how well Trump is trying to fix an already burning ship. He’s pledging that Brazil has been lifted from the confines of socialism and political correctness! Wait, that sounds familiar. We got to keep our composure people!!!!! We can’t have anybody freaking out here!!!

Brazil‘s newly inaugurated President Jair Bolsonaro said on Tuesday (January 01) that he would “restore order,” and he vowed to tackle corruption, crime and economic mismanagement in Latin America’s largest nation.

Bolsonaro, a former army captain turned lawmaker who openly admires Brazil‘s 1964-1985 military dictatorship, promised in his first remarks as president to adhere to democratic norms, after his tirades against the media and political opponents had stirred unease.

A seven-term congressman who spent decades on the fringes of Brazilian politics, Bolsonaro was swept to power in October by voters’ outrage with traditional political parties, making him Brazil‘s first right-wing president since the dictatorship.

Voters punished mainstream parties following more than four years of graft investigations that laid bare the largest political corruption scheme ever discovered. Centrist parties were trounced, reshaping Brazil‘s political landscape and polarising Congress.

Following a knife attack during the presidential campaign that left Bolsonaro hospitalized for weeks, security was tight for his inauguration. Some 10,000 police officers and soldiers were deployed on the streets of Brasilia, the capital, as Bolsonaro and his wife rode in an open-topped Rolls-Royce to Congress.

And speaking of keeping our composure, guess what? You’re in good company, Brazil! Because guess who Bolsonaro is already courting? He’s courting Putin’s favorite president, Donald J. Trump, and we all know what a dumpster fire he’s been setting here in America!

Bolsonaro issued a directive giving the Agriculture Ministry, which is dominated by a powerful agro-business lobby, control over areas reserved for Brazil's indigenous peoples and the descendants of former slaves. He made it nearly impossible for new protected lands to be demarcated. A government agency run by a prominent general was given the ability to "monitor" international organisations and nongovernmental organisations operating in Brazil. And the LGBT community was excluded from a list of groups whose concerns would be protected by a new Human Rights Ministry.

None of this should be a surprise. Bolsonaro is a strident far-right ideologue, notorious for his bigoted rhetoric against women, minorities, the poor and LGBT Brazilians. Once a buffoonish figure on the fringes of the country's politics, he marshalled deep frustrations with Brazil's dysfunction — its stagnating economy, its soaring crime, its corrupt political elites — to score dramatic victories in elections last year. Now he is following through on his promises to upend the status quo and crack down on imagined enemies.

Perhaps more conspicuous was the enthusiastic cheerleading coming from the Trump Administration. Bolsonaro has long been likened to United States President Donald Trump — another angry nationalist bent on radically shifting his country to the right while trying to tear down the political achievements of opponents to the left.

Former Trump adviser Stephen Bannon whispered encouragement to Bolsonaro's camp. The Brazilian politician, meanwhile, launched Trumpian attacks on everything from "fake news" to refugees.

Bet you didn’t think you were going to hear the last of Steve Bannon did you? I mean last we saw he could barely fill the breakfast buffet at Holiday Inn and getting canned from talking about having sex with robots! And you know that most of the people there were there for the free buffet and couldn’t give less of a shit about Steve Bannon. But in case you’re wondering how well Brazil’s war on crime is going, just look at what happened this week at Rio’s landmark Cristo Redentor statue:

Dozens of tourists hiking toward the famous Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro were held at gunpoint for up to two hours in a mass robbery that could mark an early test for anti-crime crackdowns promised by Brazil’s new president.

Police said Friday that at least three assailants carrying knives and a gun set up the ambush on the trail, which cuts through a dense forest that borders a slum on the outskirts of the city and has been the site of numerous muggings.

In total, more than 30 people were robbed Thursday — about half foreigners from Asia, Europe and elsewhere in South America — as the thieves took hostages and waited for more tourists to arrive.

They took cellphones, cameras, wedding rings and credit cards, police said. Nobody was hurt.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY DNA
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From: Idiots #6-6

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

You’ve probably seen home DNA testing kits come along fast and furious lately. From companies that offer just basic testing like 23 & Me to sites that offer more specific studies, like ancestry.com. But if you have been taking these tests or you’ve been hearing that the tests come back wrong every time, you’re not alone. In fact, you should be concerned immediately after sending back the kit, especially if you sign up for their health tests.

23andMe is pushing back against a recent The New York Times editorial board opinion piece that warned customers to be careful about the company's health tests.

The editorial board argued that 23andMe's genetic risk health tests, such as its test that claims to screen for two genetic mutations linked to colorectal cancer, can't determine the actual risk of developing the diseases because it relies on "much simpler technology" than a healthcare facility does.

In addition, the op-ed compared 23andMe's breast cancer screen to "proofreading a document by looking at only a handful of letters," as the test only looks at parts of the genome where mutations are known to occur.

"[23andMe's tests] look for only a handful of errors that may or may not elevate your risk of developing the disease in question. And they don't factor into their final analysis other information, like family history. (Not everyone with a given mutation will go on to develop the disease). So the results will not tell you much about your actual health risks," the editorial board wrote in the Feb. 1 opinion piece.

Yes it definitely is! And in case you’re wondering, some disturbing facts about 23 and Me and similar DNA testing companies have recently been coming up. And they are very shocking, especially about the concentration of where your DNA is going. Right now, 4 companies control the DNA of 26 million people, and yes, you read that right.

Four companies now have DNA information on more than 26 million people.

That’s roughly the combined population of New York State (nearly 20 million), Connecticut (3.5 million) and Chicago (2.7 million).

According to MIT Technology Review , the number of people who submitted their most personal genetic details to companies including 23andme and Ancestry.com doubled in 2018. At that rate, 100 million people will have provided information about their DNA make-up to private companies by the end of 2020.

Testing kits like AncestryDNA can be purchased on Amazon.com for $69 and are simple to use. Customers simply rub a cotton swab inside their mouth, seal it in a package included in the kit, mail it to a lab, and wait up to a month to find out their ethnic makeup.

While many people enjoy learning about their heritage, critics argue such that DNA information might allow insurance companies to discriminate against people predisposed to certain ailments.

Except it’s not dino DNA. It’s human DNA, sir. And by the way if you think that DNA testing screw ups are limited to just the US, you are wrong. In fact it’s a world wide problem that affects just about everyone who ponies up the $199 for the 23 & Me kit. Yes, the home DNA testing kits cost $200, and for that amount of money they had better get something right!

Mail-order genetic testing kits, which are all the rage right now, have been put through their paces by identical twins, and the results are a little baffling.

These test kits collect your DNA, typically by you spitting into a tube, and then you have to send the package back to the manufacturers for analysis. The results are shared electronically when ready.

To check out the accuracy of these test kits, Charlsie Agro – who fronts Canadian telly watchdog show Marketplace – and her identical twin sister Carly used them to submit their DNA to five separate consumer-grade genetic-testing outfits, and compared their results.

And their results were surprisingly varied. For one thing, the tests couldn't agree on where exactly their ancestors actually physically came from. Test kit supplier 23andMe reckoned the twins are about 40 per cent Italian, and 25 per cent Eastern European; AncestryDNA said they are about 40 per cent Russia or Eastern European, and 30 per cent Italian; and MyHeritageDNA concluded are about 60 per cent Balkan, and 20 per cent Greek.

Except there’s no chaos theory here, at least not yet. There’s plenty of reasons why you should do a 23 & Me test but there’s also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. The fact that 26 million people have their DNA data in the hands of 4 companies is enough. But this also might shock you.

Last month, the DNA-testing company 23andMe secured Food and Drug Administration approval for a new screening for gene-based health risks. Along with celiac disease, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, breast cancer and several other medical conditions, the company can now screen clients for two mutations that have been linked to colorectal cancer.

But “F.D.A.-approved” does not necessarily mean “clinically useful.” 23andMe relies on much simpler technology than tests that you’d get at your doctor’s office. As a result, the company’s tests cannot tell you much about your actual risk of developing the diseases in question.

Here’s how those tests work — and why you should interpret them with caution.
They read your gene.

You can think of your genes as long text documents. The words are your genetic code. Genetic mutations are like typos — imperfections that scientists can spot with some scrutiny.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #6-3

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Las Vegas! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Have a seat please! And give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? You know… I have just returned from Washington DC. This week there was an event that the religious right of America felt the need to have their voices heard. Which is their right under GAWD that they can do that. So what has the fundamentalists’ underwear in a wad? Why are they going so nuts over this one topic that they need to hold their OWN march? Well let’s take a look at what actually happened last week that got lost in the headlines!

Conservative radio host Ben Shapiro said Friday at the annual March for Life rally in Washington, D.C., that "no pro-life person would kill baby Hitler" because "baby Hitler was a baby," with the comments quickly going viral on social media.

“The argument, I guess here, is that would you kill baby Hitler?” Shapiro said in answering a question that appeared to be submitted online during a live broadcast at the anti-abortion rally.

“And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler, because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler, adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby," he continued.

"What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house where he would not grow up to be Hitler, right? That’s the idea.”

The hashtag #BabyHitler began trending on Twitter not long after the comments on Friday afternoon, drawing the ire of mostly liberals on the platform.


Yes. You know what? Let’s play the clip because it’s quite spectacular:

Now you know, my fair congregation, it says that in the Good Book that murder is illegal! But… that hasn’t stopped the Baby Hitler debate. In fact if you take a look at some past clips, judging on the actions of this weekend, well, they haven’t aged well.

So there you go, the very idea that murdering Baby Hitler has been the subject of some rather interesting debate. But the debate over killing Baby Hitler is actually pretty toxic for sponsors – they really don’t want anything to do with it.

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro has now lost two sponsors of his podcast after a live recording at an anti-abortion rally in which he read advertisements out to the crowd and also mulled over the philosophical dilemma of killing “baby Hitler.”

Calm, a sleep and meditation phone app, became the second company to drop its sponsorship of Shapiro after the right-wing host appeared before thousands of abortion opponents during Friday’s March for Life rally in Washington, D.C.

“We do not align with this message,” the company posted on Twitter. “We’re pulling our sponsorship.”

Earlier Friday night, another brand, the toothbrush maker Quip, told HuffPost it was ending its sponsorship of Shapiro’s podcast over the ad readings.

“Our mission is to make good oral health more accessible to everyone, and podcast advertising is one way we’re able to realize this,” Quip said in a statement. “However, following one of our ads being read in a venue we did not endorse, we have chosen to discontinue our advertising relationship with this show. We are also taking steps to ensure all of our advertising partners are aligned with our oral health mission and values.”

Right Wing Watch reporter Jared Holt first drew attention to the ad readouts during an appearance that had already made news over Shapiro’s “baby Hitler” moment.

But while this is a touchy subject for advertisers, it’s apparently a touchy subject for Mr. Shapiro himself because thanks to his anti-abortion views, he wouldn’t kill Baby Hitler because… he’s a baby. That’s sound logic there!

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, appearing Friday as the keynote speaker of the annual March for Life on the National Mall in Washington, shared with his audience a head-scratching scenario about abortion and Adolf Hitler.

“The argument, I guess here, would you kill baby Hitler?” he started off, in a clip posted to Twitter. “And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler. Because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler — adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby.”

Shapiro, who is Jewish, offered a suggestion: “What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house, where he would not grow up to be Hitler.”

The crowd erupted into applause as the clip closed.

Shapiro, a prominent supporter of the pro-life movement, appeared to be making his remarks as part of his popular podcast, HuffPost reported.

By the way let’s hear it for my gospel choir. How great are they? Can I get an amen??? Anyone remember a few years ago when Pat Robertson had that clip about the mom who lost a baby to miscarriage and then he justified it? Let’s play that!

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOO! Boo indeed. So they’re conflicted on the message TO THIS DAY in case you can’t tell! And by the way in case you’re wondering if there really is a Baby Hitler out there, well here’s your answer!

A Neo-Nazi couple who named their child after Adolf Hitler are facing jail after they were found guilty of belonging to a banned terrorist organisation.

Adam Thomas, 22, and his girlfriend, Claudia Patatas, 38, were convicted of being members of the far-right organisation National Action, which was outlawed in 2016.

Birmingham Crown Court heard the pair gave their baby the middle name “Adolf”, which self-confessed racist Thomas told jurors was done in “admiration” for the leader of Nazi Germany.

A third defendant - a prominent member of National Action's Midlands chapter, Daniel Bogunovic, 27, of Leicester, was also convicted on Monday following the seven-week trial.

So there really is a real Baby Hitler out there! Raised by Neo Nazis at that! Well, there’s a test for this debate right now! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #6-10

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

Holy shit! That’s crazy! I don’t remember that being part of our party platform! Spin it again! Oh and hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse:

The comedy world was completely divided this week as Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to try her hand at stand up comedy. Yes, *THAT* Stormy Daniels. Professional stripper and the woman who some might argue is Donald Trump’s worst nightmare. And she’s also single-handedly responsible for ruining our childhoods more than any amount of Ghostbusters remakes ever could. So, Stormy Daniels announced that she was going to fill the late spot at the Chuckle Hut and actual comedians are split down the middle as to who really gets to fill that spot. Hey, wait a minute! That’s also what we do here! So does that mean I don’t get to play to an audience either? Oh wait, we play the coveted Wednesday at 2:00 PM slot when there’s no possible chance of landing an audience. So let’s expand on this further, shall we?

Stormy Daniels is taking a spin at being a stand-up comedian.

The adult-film star — who’s been locked in an ongoing legal battle with President Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen — will perform at a comedy club in Houston later this month, the Joke Joint Comedy Club’s co-owner, Ken Reed, told KTRK-TV this week.

Daniels is suing Trump and Cohen to void a nondisclosure agreement about an affair she says she had with Trump in 2006. The payment over that agreement is one of the reasons Cohen was last year sentenced to three years in jail for bank fraud and campaign finance violations.

"I'm not going to judge her on her politics, or her day job, or anything else,” Reed said of Daniels’s upcoming sets. “She has an audience. She has a fanbase that want to see her. I think it's going to be a good show.”

The head of the comedy club said the idea for Daniels to deliver some one-liners came from her management team.

Yeah so Stormy is heading to the stage everybody! Woooooooooooo!!!!! And what city will be lucky enough to witness this train wreck? Houston, Texas! And boy won’t they be so receptive there? Because Houston is prime MAGA country and I’m sure they won’t have any of it. But hey you never know what kind of audience you’re going to get!

Adult film star-turned-comedienne Stormy Daniels is taking her act on the road and starting her comedy tour in Houston.

Co-owner of the Joke Joint Comedy Club in southeast Houston, Ken Reed, says her management team reached out to him to schedule the show. He says he's gotten mixed opinions about her show coming to his club.

"I'd go see it. Check it out. See what it's about. I always like to laugh," said Aaron Holmes, a potential patron to the Stormy Daniels shows.

Meanwhile, Michael Nichols differs, saying, "Personally, not my preference, but, you know, to each his own."

Yes true, this is doo doo, or as some might put it, horseshit. So here’s where we get into the meat of this discussion. So actual stand up comedians aren’t having any of this. But as we’ve learned, Stormy is not the first celebrity to try their hand at stand-up comedy. Yeah we get it that comedy is not an easy profession to get into – it takes a lot of hard work to sell out the Chuckle Hut or the Joke Joint. So why so serious?

Stormy Daniels made waves after announcing a headlining gig at Joke Joint Comedy Showcase in Houston. Comedians nationwide took offense to Daniels, who likely has never done a comedy open mic in her life, headlining a comedy club on name recognition alone.

But here’s the rub: porn stars have been headlining comedy shows for years. Bree Olson made a web series, Bree Does Comedy, about an adult film star that becomes a stand-up. Sovereign Syre made a name for herself as a dual-action comedian and porn star. Ron Jeremy does a surprising number of club sets.

The prevalence of porn stars getting up onstage makes the backlash to Stormy Daniels doing stand-up only more confusing because this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Earlier this week, Laurie Kilmartin tweeted “Doing standup is not a reward for being famous. Please leave the weekend gigs for actual female comics,” in response to Daniel’s Tour Manager, Dwayne Crawford, announcing her first stand-up show in Texas. While Kilmartin says to “leave the weekends” for actual comics, the show is an independently-produced one-nighter on a Wednesday.

Well, we would actually prefer not to do it that way. And even more and more actual comedians are speaking out against this idea. So is it a good move or a bad move? You be the judge. Of course we could and should afford a trip to Houston to witness the potential train wreck of a show, but yeah we’ll just save money and wait for the highlights to come out on Twitter! So what do actual comedians think of this move?

If you blinked and missed it, Stormy Daniels is starting her career in stand-up comedy. For the entertainers that have worked for years honing their craft, you can imagine that they would be pretty upset that Stormy gets a pass in the business just because she's got some stories to tell about Donald Trump. The former adult star will probably sell out her shows but according to Chris D'Elia, she shouldn't be referring to herself as a comedian.

When TMZ cameras caught up with the actor, he was asked about his thoughts on the move from porn to comedy. He actually gave a pretty insightful answer too. "I'm not a porn star if I just make a video of me fucking someone... I just made a video. She's not a comedian!" He goes on to say that people often look at stand-up as a second choice for when they've failed in their first career. Referring to the move as a cash grab, D'Elia notes that some of his peers are pissed about Stormy waltzing into the business so casually.

Instead of calling it a comedy tour, Chris suggests she change the name to a "public speaking" display. Let us know your thoughts on this? Does Stormy Daniels belong on the stage as a comedian?

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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From: Idiots #6-8

It’s time once again to ask:

This week: TV shows who insist on interviewing Roseanne Barr. How is this still a thing? You know just like we think Twitter should have an “are you sure?” button before pressing send, we really need to have an intervention on reporters who still insist on interviewing the former TV star who has well, struggled to grasp reality. While we can’t fault Roseanne for that, we can certainly fault her for whatever batshit crazy thing is about to come out of her mouth. And this week, she certainly did not disappoint in the slightest.

Roseanne Barr is at it again. The actress/comedienne who lost her job and her hit ABC show after her racist Twitter rant against Valerie Jarrett just took some shots at Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and it looks like some folks will never learn to keep their mouths shut.

Over the weekend, Barr posted a video to YouTube calling AOC a “bug-eyed bi*ch” and a “Farrakhan loving bi*ch” over her proposed Green New Deal; a plan intended to “achieve net-zero greenhouse gas emissions and create economic prosperity for all.”

This isn’t the first time Roseanne Barr has made offensive statements against women who deserve respect.

In deranged new video, Roseanne Barr says of Valerie Jarrett, ‘I thought the bitch was white’

Back in May, Roseanne Barr was abruptly fired from her own show after she tweeted racist remarks about former Barack Obama adviser, Valerie Jarrett.

“muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” Barr tweeted in response to a post about Jarrett.

ABC quickly fired her once they caught wind of the offensive tweets.


Now really, Roseanne. Did you learn anything? Apparently not. And now this gets even weirder with former confidant and the voice of Sideshow Bob himself, Kelsey Grammar, who not even 3 days before, called for Roseanne to be forgiven. Now really, Kelsey, what did you expect?

“Frasier” actor Kelsey Grammer said over the weekend that he thinks that “people should be forgiven” in regards to Roseanne Barr’s departure from her eponymous show last year.

Grammer said he was encouraged by the success of the reboot of “Roseanne,” adding that a reboot of “Frasier” is in the works, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Last year, Barr was fired by ABC after she made a joke about Valerie Jarrett, who worked s an adviser to former President Obama.

After cries of racism, Barr’s show was canceled. ABC Entertainment President Channing Dungey said her comments were “abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.”

“I have no idea. I think people should be forgiven for their sins. Our life is so challenging. How do you ever make amends?” Grammer said of the incident.

And really, you really had to go there? When you interview Roseanne you are almost guaranteed anymore that she will say something batshit crazy. Because Roseanne suffers from a condition where the rectum recycles matter that goes straight to the cranial cavity. And you probably know this disease better as “shit for brains”. Well, her reasons for being fired are almost as crazy as the reason why she was fired in the first place.

Roseanne Barr, who offered a plethora of reasons why she was fired from her hit rebooted sitcom following a racist tweet last year, told The Jerusalem Post that "antisemitism" at ABC and her support for Israel helped do her in.

In an interview published Friday in the Jerusalem-based English-language newspaper ahead of her visit to address Israel's parliament, Barr expanded on one of the multiple theories she's offered to explain why she was kicked off her revived show, "Roseanne," last summer.

"I feel that what happened to me, a large part of it is antisemitism," Barr told the Post in a phone interview on Thursday from her home in Hawaii. "I think it played a part – the fact that I was never allowed to explain what I meant – and what I meant was a commentary on Iran – so they purposely mischaracterized what I said and wouldn't let me explain."

She said ABC acted in haste and did something "unprecedented that they've never done to any other artist" because she is "the most vocal person about Israel and (against) BDS," the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement to pressure Israel over its treatment of Palestinians.

Anti-semitism is to blame? Really, are you Walter Sobchak from the Big Lebowski, Roseanne? Look, we support free speech here, nobody is going to come and take your free speech rights away. But after one crazy thing after another, we really need a sanity check before you go out in public and start saying crazy shit. Because she said this about Natalie Portman in January.

The comedian also said in an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom that John Goodman should have "fought harder" for her.

Roseanne Barr criticized Natalie Portman and defended Kevin Hart ahead of her visit to Israel.

In an interview published Friday in the daily newspaper Israel Hayom, the comedian took on Portman, who last April outraged many upon declining to take part in an award ceremony as the recipient of the Genesis Prize Laureate, explaining she "did not want to appear as endorsing Benjamin Netanyahu, who was to be giving a speech at the ceremony."

"It was really sickening, I find her repulsive," said Barr of Portman in the interview. "She was raised in incredible privilege of safety in the Jewish state and knows nothing about anti-Semitism."

Portman was born in Jerusalem and moved to the U.S. with her parents at the age of 3.

Added Barr, "She's the darling of the left here, the Jewish left in Hollywood, she is a complete hypocrite who grew up in safety and privilege, like I said before, and knows nothing about what she speaks of."

You’re going to attack Natalie Portman for being Jewish when you’re trying to claim anti-semitism is the reason why you got fired? That is what one might call “hypocrisy”. That’s enough to make you ask – interviewing Roseanne:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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From: Idiots #6-12

Hit it!

I don’t know if you saw the Florida Man challenge this week, but because of that, and the fact that we’re in Florida, we’re doing a special all Florida man edition of “People Are Dumb”, because, you know why, audience! Thank you. And yes, at the end of this segment, we’ll reveal the dumb thing that Florida Man did on December 5th, the day of the Top 10’s anniversary. But I want to start with this minor league team out of Jacksonville, which is affiliated with the Miami Marlins. They’re called the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimps, and they are planning what may be one of my favorite baseball promotions of all time – because it’s Florida Man. Well, the Jumbo Shrimp are planning a Florida Man themed night and it is going to be truly magical.

When your team is named the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, you’re clearly not opposed to pushing the envelope to have a little fun. The latest example is a “Florida Man” promotional night where the Miami Marlins’ Double-A affiliate will “attempt to break a weird Florida law every inning.”

The game on July 26 will be sponsored by a law office and pays homage to all the wacky crimes that emerge from our beloved state.

The Jumbo Shrimp — yes, that’s their real oxymoronic name; they changed it after more than 50 years as the Jacksonville Suns — have not announced which specific laws they will break.

I mean, why tip off the fuzz, right?

This promotion has already gotten the team national attention from the likes of ESPN, Sports Illustrated and CBS.


So that out of the way, let’s go to this story out of Seminole County, that’s Orlando don’t you know, where this guy robbed a liquor store wearing a Spiderman mask. But hey Spiderman is supposed to be a good guy! And I know that multiple Spiderman universes exist thanks to Into The Spiderverse, but really, come on, we need to do better people!!!

A liquor store just north of Orlando got a visit from Spider-Man back in January, only this web-slinger wasn’t of the friendly neighborhood variety.

Deputies said he’s the man who broke into Winn-Dixie Wine and Spirits in Casselberry, FL, wearing a Spider-Man mask to steal alcohol and cigarettes.

Deputy Bruce Milne responded to the burglary report. He immediately caught a break while reviewing surveillance footage.

The suspect first tried to open the store’s door without a mask on.

“To me, it was just a matter of absolute surprise that he would walk up to the door first, try to break in, and then it starts clicking in his head, ’Oh, I might get recognized if I do this without a mask on,’” Milne said.

Investigators said Wilburn went to a nearby thrift store where he found the Spider-Man mask.

That is true! Next up, we go to Milton, Florida for this story. Look, I love a good fast food rage story, you know that. And hey when you’re drunk and you’re craving one food and can’t shake that craving, sure, I know what that is like! When you’re drunk, you got to have that one food and nothing else will satisfy you. But don’t bring violence into it, that is a no no.

A Florida man has been arrested and charged with battery after he allegedly pushed a woman who wouldn’t let him into her house to eat egg rolls.

Police in Milton, Florida, have said in an offense report that the suspect, 44-year-old Keith Johnson, arrived at the victim’s house drunk, demanding to come in so that he could eat the Chinese foodstuff.

ABC affiliate WEARTV reported that Johnson kept ringing the doorbell despite the complainant repeatedly telling him she wasn’t going to let him in and didn’t want him in her home.

The victim claimed eventually that she said she would come out to give Johnson the egg rolls, which were inside the home. It is at this point, when she opened the door, that he shoved her inside.

Oh that clip is a classic! Next up, we go to Gainesville for this one. That’s the home of the Florida Gators, don’t you know? Well here’s the thing, impersonating an officer *NEVER* ends well especially for you, and especially if you happen to come across an actual police officer. So this happened.

The latest Florida Man tale: A Deltona man impersonating a police officer uses a public warning system on a real cop.

A Deltona man playing policeman caught up to a real one and used an illegal public address system and lights to warn a sheriff’s sergeant driving an unmarked vehicle in Pierson, Volusia sheriff’s officials said.

Shortly after that, Sgt. Todd Smith turned on his real blue lights and pulled over Thomas Farmer, 64.

Farmer was arrested on Tuesday and charged with impersonating a law enforcement officer, a third-degree felony.

When the sergeant investigated the incident further, he learned that Thomas had previously been warned twice by deputies to stop using his horn, loudspeakers and lights, as his behavior is consistent with impersonating a police officer, his arrest report shows.

And let’s not forget that in Florida, the ladies can be just as crazy as the men are! Why does this story remind me of the scene at the beginning of Super Troopers where the stoners are discussing who owns the water in a beach property? We go to Melbourne (Florida, not Australia) for this story.

A Melbourne fisherman says he regularly fishes along State Road A1A, south of the Sebastian Inlet, and has done so without incident for 20-some years.

Until Saturday.

That’s when Jose Ortiz told WPEC-TV 12 News that Joyce Khatibi, who owns property nearby in Vero Beach, started yelling at him from a dock and aimed a hose in his direction. She told him he can’t fish at his favorite spot anymore, “because she owns the water.”

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called and Ortiz was initially asked to leave when they looked at online property records. But a follow-up look at the records showed that Khatibi’s property line didn’t extend into the water, WPEC found.

Finally this week, even Florida animals are crazy! The animals!!!!! Why is my voice so high? Anyway, if there’s one thing that I learned from the movie Up, it’s that squirrels are dicks. And if you do come into contact with one, get the nearest attack dog on it, but if you don’t have one, run! But this story seriously has everything. We go to Sarasota for this story.

“Frickin squirrel attacked me,” Robby Armstrong posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, a day after the rodent bit him. His security cameras caught the attack, one Armstrong said was not unusual in the neighborhood.

The squirrel, which he said was raised by his neighbors when it was a baby and then released, bit other residents. Among the other bite victims of the aggressive rodent: Armstrong’s stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it, News Channel 8 reported.

Armstrong had enough, he posted. “I chased him around and shot him with a BB gun about 10 times but he is still alive so be on the lookout for a crazy squirrel.”

On Wednesday, Armstrong told the Miami Herald he was “fine” and that the squirrel “is still roaming around.”

Oh and in case you’re wondering what our Florida Man Challenge story is, it’s Florida Man Arrested For Going Shoplifting After Job Interview. Florida Man, you’re the best. Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s it this week for our special all Florida Man edition of:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 2: The United States State Department
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From: Idiots #6-8

It’s time for the very last and final edition of Deep State Diaries. It’s time to say goodbye, everyone, it’s been fun. We toured everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The United States State Department[/font]

So for our very last and final edition of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, we are going to tour one of the US government’s oldest and most prominent institutions – the United States State Department. The USSD is an institution as old as the United States itself. Yes, it’s the branch of the US government that was formerly headed by Rex Tillerson and is currently headed by guy who makes torture great again, Mike Pompeo. The USSD is similar to a ministry of foreign affairs in that it helps shape international and also domestic policies that define the United States. So what are some things that the USSD actually does? Well we all know how bad Huawei is, and we think Europe might be finally getting the message that you shouldn’t do business with the embattled cell phone manufacturer.

European governments are proving receptive to the idea that China’s Huawei poses security risks to telecoms networks, a senior U.S. cyber official said on Tuesday.

“We are highlighting inherent risks... in particular with Huawei,” Robert L. Strayer, the U.S. State Department’s ambassador for cyber and international communications told reporters at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.

Strayer said people in Europe were getting the message, but: “At the end of the day, each government and operator has to make its own decisions.”

A U.S. delegation is attending the wireless trade fair to persuade Europeans to follow the U.S. lead in shunning Huawei, the world’s biggest maker of telecoms equipment, which is competing for next-generation 5G mobile network contracts. (Reporting by Jack Stubbs and Isla Binnie Writing by Georgina Prodhan Editing by Keith Weir)

Well hopefully they won’t have to come to that. Another thing that the US department does is they issue travel warnings. Yes, they tell the citizens of the US that maybe they shouldn’t go to certain countries because reasons. Like maybe don’t go to the Bahamas right now because if you haven’t noticed the Gulf Of Mexico has these things called hurricanes, and they’ve been quite active lately.

The United States State Department issued another travel warning for the Bahamas today.

The U.S. State Department reissued a “Level 2: Exercise Increased Caution Due to Crime” for the Bahamas, stating:

“Violent crime, such as burglaries, armed robberies, and sexual assault, is common, even during the day and in tourist areas. Although the family islands are not crime-free, the vast majority of crime occurs on New Providence and Grand Bahama islands . . . Activities involving commercial recreational watercraft, including water tours, are not consistently regulated. Watercraft are often not maintained, and many companies do not have safety certifications to operate in The Bahamas. Jet-ski operators have been known to commit sexual assaults against tourists . . .”

There were three travel warnings issued by the U.S. last year for the Bahamas, by the U.S. Overseas Security Advisory Council (OSAC) in the Bahamas 2018 Crime & Safety Report, the U.S. State Department, and the U.S. Embassy in Nassau as well as one warning by Canada.

Another thing that the US State Department does is that they determine what the United States can and cannot import and export. Remember how James Bond’s cover was that he was an importer – exporter of good? Even though it’s never implied what, exactly. But that’s really the job of the US State Department.

The US continues to pursue a zero-tolerance policy for its Iran oil sanctions and is urging importers to eliminate all purchases from the Middle East country, Francis Fannon, assistant secretary at the US State Department’s Bureau of Energy Resources, said Monday during a visit to Japan.

“The US policy is to drive Iranian exports to zero,” Fannon said during a media briefing in Tokyo. “That policy has not changed. We are unwavering in our policy.”

Fannon was asked whether Washington would consider extending Iran sanctions waivers when they expire in May, given falling supplies from Saudi Arabia as a result of the production cut agreement by OPEC and allies, and the ongoing crisis in sanctions-hit Venezuela.

He said it was premature to say whether the State Department would grant new waivers in May to the eight countries that were allowed to continue importing Iranian oil in return for promising to significantly cut their dependence on the supplies.

And in case you can’t guess, under the Trump administration, the US state department has become well, less than flattering. So much in fact that nobody wants to work for a horrible boss like Mike Pompeo, or even worse – his boss, Donald J. Trump. Yes, the guy who we currently call president has made it completely miserable for anyone involved with the government. And well, it’s going to be a revolving door for the foreseeable future.

The number of Americans seeking a career in the U.S. diplomatic corps has declined in the first two years of the Trump administration, reaching the lowest level since 2008, according to State Department numbers obtained exclusively by NBC News.

Although President Donald Trump's unpredictable, go-it-alone foreign policy has caused apprehension among some prospective applicants, and led some senior diplomats to resign, the cause of the drop remains unclear.

But coupled with budget pressures and a survey showing declining morale at the State Department, veterans of the diplomatic corps worry that the long-term health of the institution charged with safeguarding America's interests abroad could be at risk if current trends continue.

The competitive process to join the ranks of U.S. diplomats starts with the Foreign Service Officer Test, a demanding exam given three times a year. Between October 2017 and October 2018, only 8,685 people chose to take the test, a 22 percent decline compared to the same period a year earlier, according to the State Department's numbers.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A+
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

There is no next week! This is it, we are done. Thanks for taking us down the government wormhole everybody, and see you on the other side!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Cypress Hill[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is America’s foremost premiere stoner band. Their latest album is called “Elephants On Acid”. You can see them on tour through March and April including a stop March 23rd at the Wiltern. Playing their song “Band Of Gypsies”, give it up for the one, the only Cypress Hill!

The Top 10 will be back next week with a brand new edition live from Denver! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
Special Thanks To: UCB Theater Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 17, 2019, 05:17 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-14: Collusion Delusion, What's Your Confusion? Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-14: Collusion Delusion, What’s Your Confusion? Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up New York City??? How you guys doing, you doing good? It’s good to be back here in the Big Apple! Always love it when I’m here. But man what a fucking crazy week it’s been! Am I right about that? First off I want to say congratulations to Virginia for winning one of the craziest March Madness tournaments I’ve ever seen. Michigan State, Auburn, and Texas Tech, you can rest assured that you don’t have to go to Trump’s White House to eat a plate of cold fast food hamburders! Also congratulations to the Notre Dame Fighting Irish for winning their second Women’s Final Four in a row! UConn, you can also rest assured that you don’t have to go to the White House to eat plate of McDonalds. OK that’s all the time we have! I’d love to talk more sports because there’s a lot of it this week. You had that insane fight between Yasiel Puig and the entire Pittsburgh Pirates team, you had Magic’s very Trump-esque press conference announcing his departure from the Lakers, and you had that 23 hour Wrestlemania epic. But we got to talk movie trailers and what might be the ultimate movie SNAFU. Remember that scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton is explaining all of Tyler’s jobs and one was where he was splicing single frames of porn into family films? Well don’t do that. Also, don’t show kids, I don’t know, horror movie trailers! Yeah, a 17 year old can see “Us”. But a 4 year old should probably stick to Peppa Pig: The Movie. So children in the British town of Ipswitch were hoping to see the Peppa Pig flick, and instead were treated to the trailers for the upcoming horror flicks Ma and Brightburn. Ma is about a creepy stalker, and Brightburn is a superhero anti-hero flick about a man who uses his super powers to fight people who hurt him. Yeah maybe don’t show those movies to kids, and especially don’t show Ma to toddlers! Yeah, those people who let that happen should probably be sacked. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the subject of mobile homes and land ownership:

Where do we begin this week? In the first slot this week is the long awaited return of… The Trumper Games (1)!!! Oh yes, he’s back and this time he’s here to tell you about the latest departures from the Trump administration and how it’s essentially a revolving door at this point! In the second slot, is the guy who we currently call president, Donald Trump (2) and we’re going to find out what’s going on with his beef with wind power. Last week we brought up that he claims to know a lot about wind, but does he really? Spoiler alert! No! For the third slot this week, is also Donald J. Trump (3). And while he’s bragging about how he’s been “exonerated” in the Russian collusion probe, he’s still got massive tax fraud and a whole ton of other crimes he may be guilty of. In the fourth slot this week, we’re going to do something a bit different. In case you haven’t noticed, people are being racist out in the open (4) and we’re going to talk about a few stories and the things you can do if you happen to catch a MAGA supporter out in the wild. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) , and this week, we’re going to take a look at an absolutely horrifying story involving horse racing and Southern California’s Santa Anita race track.Taking the sixth slot, as always, is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to ask one of the daunting questions of our time – “What is fueling the future of religion?”. Only one way to find out! In the seventh slot this week, we have an all new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). So, this week it was revealed that former vice president Joe Biden is, well, a little bit of a creeper. But really, on the creep scale, he’s a 1 out of 10, and we will explain why. For the 8th seed this week, is the return of “This Fucking Guy”. And this week, Trump nominated Herman Cain, a man who I wouldn’t trust with $10, to run the Federal Reserve Board, so… why him? Because he’s Trump, and he doesn’t give a fuck, that’s why! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is one of my favorite segments, People Are Dumb! And we’ve got some absolutely ridiculous stories to tell you about this week! And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! And we begin expanded Round 2 coverage, and the first week it’s the Gun Nut Conference Championship. Florida vs Oregon. The winner moves on to the Final Four, the loser goes home! Plus we have some live music from Simple Creatures! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games: The Return
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I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! Yes, my pretties! It has been way too long to remember the last time I was on! Happy Trumper Games! Mmm… yes!!! Damn it, Charlie!! How many times have I told you to bring me the good champagne? What? Management says that we can’t afford any of it? How dare they! Oh, I’m sorry, I got carried away there. Oh Charlie, come back please! OK, so this week the President simply himself eliminated two important positions. Tribute Nielsen from the 9th District, and Tribute Alles from the 1st District! What? Don’t ask me how the Districts work because even I don’t know! So how did this all go down? Well, the President quite simply had an urge to fire somebody. And you know that never ends well!

Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigned Sunday night after a relatively short tenure as arguably the most aggressive secretary in the department’s short history — a stint that will most likely be remembered for the “zero tolerance” prosecution policy of late spring and early summer 2018 that resulted in the separation of thousands of families attempting to cross at the US-Mexico border.

But having the most hawkish DHS secretary in memory appears to not have been enough for Trump, who is enraged over the number of Central American families and asylum seekers coming into the United States.

Trump’s ongoing anger already led to the abrupt withdrawal of the nomination of acting Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Ron Vitiello on Thursday night. Friday morning, the president told reporters that he wanted to go in a “tougher direction.”

With nearly 100,000 migrants apprehended by Border Patrol agents along the US-Mexico border in March, Trump is ruminating angrily and obsessively over immigration, riffing in speeches about telling migrants “we’re full” and “go back.”

So, let me get this straight. We went from… “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” to “Country is full! Moose out front should have told you!”. So this may have something to do with border security. Or it may not, with the president’s seemingly volatile temper, we never know which way this is going to go. But it’s impossible to restrain the President!

Since November 2016, there’s been a running argument among those who are skeptical of Donald Trump but not implacably opposed to his presidency: Should they go into the system and try to restrain the president’s worst impulses, for the good of the nation? Or should they remain on the outside, and avoid the scarlet C of collaboration?

Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen’s firing on Sunday should slam the door on that debate. Her tenure is the plainest example yet of the futility of trying to restrain Trump from inside—and the personal cost to those who try.

Over Nielsen’s 16 months in the job, the administration’s policy on the southern border has been a mess. The president has repeatedly threatened to close it, though at the moment he has backed down. He cut aid to countries in Central America’s Northern Triangle, which is only likely to increase immigration. There was a lengthy, pointless government shutdown over funding for a border wall. Border crossings, the metric the administration has chosen to emphasize as an indicator of an immigration crisis, are rising. Looming over all of this is the separation of thousands of families at the border last summer. And that list doesn’t even touch the chaos in other parts of DHS, such as FEMA, whose administrator resigned in February amid criticism of his spending and his handling of disasters.

And that is certainly true! But, the resignation (or firing depending on which way you look at it) of Tribute Nielsen wasn’t the only significant elimination from the Trumper Games this week! No, the president has proven that he simply doesn’t care about security, as he fired longtime Secret Service head Tribute Alles from the 1st District!

United States Secret Service director Randolph "Tex" Alles is being removed from his position, multiple administration officials tell CNN.

President Donald Trump instructed his acting chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, to fire Alles. Alles remains in his position as of now but has been asked to leave.

The USSS director was told two weeks ago there would be a transition in leadership and he was asked to stay on until there was a replacement, according to a source close to the director.

Secret Service officials have been caught by surprise with the news and are only finding out through CNN, according to the source.

In an email to employees at his agency obtained by CNN's Jim Acosta, Alles told the workforce he was not fired, but was told weeks ago that the administration would be making "transitions in leadership" at the Department of Homeland Security.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm… yes. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, yes!!! So the President is proving himself to be above reproach! Yes, the Games have been going on for too long to the point where we can’t tell fact from fiction! Depending on what media outlet you read, was Tribute Alles fired and eliminated or did he simply resign? We may never know but for now consider Tribute Alles and Tribute Nielsen… ELIMINATED!!!!

The director of the U.S. Secret Service will leave his job, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee said, amid an investigation into a security breach at the president’s Mar-a-Lago resort and a broader shakeup within the Department of Homeland Security.

Ralph Alles “will be leaving shortly” from the Secret Service, Sanders said in a statement on Monday. A Chinese national, Yujing Zhang, was arrested March 30 after entering President Donald Trump’s Palm Beach, Florida, resort with electronics including a thumb drive containing malware and lying to a Secret Service agent about why she was there.

Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer said Alles should testify to Congress about the Mar-a-Lago incident.

“The public and Congress need to know the extent to which adversarial governments - like China - and their agents are attempting to gain access to, or conduct electronic surveillance on, conversations or other information regarding national security at President Trump’s properties,” Schumer said in a statement.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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In the last week, Trump has really escalated his beef with wind power. I mean come on, what’s he got against windmills anyway? Well if you listen to his nonsense, you would think that windmills are godless bird killing monster machines that give you cancer and drive your property values down 75%! Oh the horror!!! What will we ever do to rid ourselves of these nightmares? That’s the question we should be asking ourselves! Instead we’re asking what the fuck is up with Trump and wind power? Well it might have something to do with Trump International in Scotland, or it might not. And by the way, for the purpose of this piece, we’re going to forgo our usual memes and clips and replace them with pictures of Trump’s hair blowing in the wind, because we all know how much he hates that!

Unlike President Trump’s inability to pronounce the word “origins,” his recurring anti-wind bloviating isn’t a sign of mental decline. Sure, it is stupid and wrong to say the sound of wind causes cancer (just who is the “alarmist” by the way?) or reduces real estate values (it doesn’t.) But it’s also dangerous. This and other anti-science campaigns like the ones against vaccinations and evolution are not just silly ignorance. They’re weaponized stupidity.

Trump’s tirades aren’t reflective of any deeply held belief or well-informed opinion, but instead appear to be informed by, and in service of, Big Oil’s anti-wind propaganda. For decades fossil fuel companies have attacked clean and renewable competition, from working to block local wind power installations to fighting state policies promoting wind. Key to that effort is spreading myths about wind power’s potential as well as its progress, which our Fox News President predictably regurgitates.

For example, take Trump’s bizarre recurring joke were he pretends to be someone who watches a lot of television (ok—no need to suspend disbelief on that part,) but has to turn it off when the wind isn’t blowing. Trump’s own Department of Energy debunks that ridiculous reliability argument (hi, batteries!) along with other energy myths. Wind power kills less birds than other forms of energy, it poses no human health threat, and it is increasingly more competitive than fossil fuels.

The sad irony of Trump’s weaponized stupidity is that it hurts the rural communities and red states who are benefiting “bigly” from wind power. For example, on November 9, 2016, the very day Trump was elected President, the Omaha World-Herald published a story about how “wind has saved family farms across a wide swath of the heartland.”

So before we go any further, we got to play the clip of this because it’s pretty spectacular. I mean how stupid is he?

Whew. Yeah so if you listen to Trump, you would learn that windmills are godless bird killing machines, and what will we do to end the horror? Well you could go with clean coal. Yeah what a great idea – let’s replace clean wind power with black lungs! And by the way with this ridiculous claim, he might have cost the clean energy industry a whole lot of jobs! What about the “JOBS! JOBS JOBS!” president? Well, he’s nowhere to be found!

- Iowa's wind energy industry says President Donald Trump's claims against wind energy are nothing more than hot air.

Wind energy supports 9,000 jobs in Iowa and that number increases every year.

Now, some of those employees fear President Trump's false claims, and stance on wind energy could reverse the trend.

“I wanted to get his opinion about what he thought about the future of our town,” Newton resident Patricia Scalabrini said.

Back in 2015, Channel 13 News hosted a town hall meeting in Newton. The city is home to two large wind turbine manufacturing plants, TPI Composites and Trinity Structural Towers.

There are a lot of those pictures by the way! We will have no shortage of material for this piece. But for Trump to make a claim so dangerously dumb and absurd is well, laughable at best. But you know what, let’s extrapolate his claims for a minute. I mean do windmills really cause cancer? The answer you know, is quite literally blowin’ in the wind.

Oh, really? Take note, Johns Hopkins. That’s a new one for the medical research community. But the logic appears to go something like this: Windmills make noise. The noise stresses people. Stress causes cancer. Who are these people dropping like flies because they live near windmills? Was the Netherlands recently wiped out and nobody bothered to tell us? How odd that Denmark, Spain, Portugal, Germany and Sweden all produce more wind energy per capita than the United States, yet they all have significantly lower cancer rates.

Actually, this link between stress and premature death is worth exploring. As it happens, the American Psychological Association has been performing annual “Street in America” surveys and found a significant uptick in 2018. Among the questions people are asked: Is thinking about the country’s future “a significant source of stress” and are you “stressed by the current political climate?” Last year, the “yes” answers increased to 69 percent and 62 percent, respectively, after charting in at 63 percent and 56 percent the previous year. Some in the profession have even assigned a name to the source of the added stress: “Trump Anxiety Disorder.”

Still, one could always opt for the truth. And the truth is that while wind power is, indeed, dependent on wind, that’s not really how the power grid works. Wind power is part of a large, interconnected system that relies on many sources of power, renewable energy among them. So even those folks living in the shadow of a turbine still get to watch their televisions when the wind dies down. Somewhere else, the wind is blowing or the sun is shining on solar cells or the turbines are spinning at the hydroelectric dam or the nuclear reactor, and so on. (And that’s not even getting into various renewable energy storage technologies that are in use or development.)

As for falling property values, that’s not been the experience of contemporary wind projects — and one of the reasons we believe, close to home, that Ocean City’s protests over off-shore wind development are particularly ill-advised and short-sighted given the threat of climate change and rising sea levels. Finally, one of President Trump’s other frequent talking points on wind — that turbines kill birds — is true to a modest extent but kind of laughable given his administration’s record on the environment. No doubt the Trump EPA and Interior Department have advanced policies that will kill a whole lot more living things prematurely, including humans, than any bunch of windmills could hope to do.

Hey two ugly Trump shots in one! And by the way as to his claim about whether or not windmills are godless bird killing machines? Even the birds don’t like Trump! So if you listen to Trump’s claims about windmills, you would know that they are flat out absurd. Why is he making these completely insane claims about wind? Well, it could have something to do with his golf course!

Trevor Noah picked, in theory, a politically uncharged topic for Wednesday’s Daily Show: windmills. “They’re not just the most challenging obstacle on the putt-putt course,” he said. “No, they’re also Trump’s arch-enemy.”

In a series of public appearances over the past few months, “like a superhero whose parents were killed by a very slowly moving fan”, the president has established a pattern of decrying windmills and their attendant power source, the wind. He’s expressed numerous reasons for this war on wind, first and foremost the threat he believes they pose to television.

In a rally speech from earlier this year, Trump seemed to believe that a lack of wind would cut off power to TV sets – “I know a lot about wind,” he reassured the crowd.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Noah interjected. “Like, we all know the same amount about wind. What do you need to know about wind? You can use it to fly a kite, sometimes it screws up your umbrella, and if it goes in a circle, it’s a tornado.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So this question remains in the Mueller probe – death or taxes? It’s a question as old as time itself, and one that will ultimately plague Trump for the rest of his term. The Trump administration has boiled the Mueller Report down to two words – “Collusion Delusion”. Funny, I don’t remember that Schoolhouse Rock song! Collusion delusion, what’s your confusion? Trying to take down a corrupt administration for treason! OK not as catchy as the original. How are we trying to take down the GOP this week? Well it’s about as simple as Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. Only Lucy kicks Charlie Brown in the side and spits in his face.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told lawmakers on Tuesday that White House lawyers had been in touch with his department about a congressional request for President Trump’s tax returns but said he had not personally spoken to Mr. Trump or those lawyers about how the matter was being handled.

Mr. Mnuchin’s disclosure is the first public acknowledgment of communication between the White House and the Treasury Department related to Mr. Trump’s tax returns and underscores the seriousness with which the president is taking the request for his personal financial records.

Mr. Mnuchin, who is testifying before two congressional committees on Tuesday, acknowledged that White House lawyers had been in touch with his department before the formal request was made last week. But he said that he had not been briefed on those discussions and described them as “informational.”

Ah, where is Newman when you need him? NEWMAN!!! Well, if Mueller doesn’t get Trump for Russian collusion, maybe he can get Trump for massive tax evasion! Yeah, while Trump is bragging about getting off the hook for collusion (or not), there’s plenty of other crimes he still might be guilty of, well, this week, anyway!

Right out of the gate on Tuesday, House Financial Services Chairwoman Maxine Waters used her first question to ask Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin whether he would comply with a Democratic request for copies of six years of the president’s personal and business tax returns by Wednesday's deadline.

“I want to acknowledge we have received the request,” Mnuchin said, dancing around any solid commitment but repeating the jist of testimony he provided at another hearing earlier Tuesday. “As I said before, we will follow the law. We are reviewing it with our internal legal department and I would leave it at that.”

Given the rate of turnover of senior officials forced from their jobs in the administration, Waters then asked Mnuchin whether he’s afraid he’ll be fired if he complies with the request.

“I’m not afraid of being fired at all,” Mnuchin answered.

Earlier Tuesday, Mnuchin testified that a White House lawyer communicated with Treasury Department lawyers before they received a request from House Democrats for President Donald Trump's tax returns.

Yeah well you can’t work for Trump without being afraid of being fired, I mean it just goes naturally! If you work for Trump, you’re gonna get fired at some point. But taking down an entire political party is like getting something stuck in a vending machine. You’re not going to get it on your first try, you have to rock it back and forth a few times, then it goes over!

Some New York Democrats think they have a new way to get at President Donald Trump's tax returns.

A bill introduced Monday by a Democratic senator would allow the state Tax Department to release a president's state tax returns if any of three congressional committees asks for them.

Sen. Brad Holyman, D-Manhattan, said the measure would be a way to assist the Democratic-controlled House in its efforts to review the president's state returns, which would have a bevy of information since Trump and his businesses are based in New York.

"Americans deserve to know whether the person who sits in the highest office of the land has conflicts or potential conflicts of interest," Holyman said Monday.

Oh so the democrats may have a plan, but there is one obstacle standing in the democrats’ way – and that guy is White House Chief Of Staff and high school band leader who tells his students they’re not playing fast enough, Mick Mulvaney. He’s literally the heckler from Happy Gilmore! “You will not see these tax returns, jackass!!!!”.

Acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney vowed Sunday that congressional Democrats will "never" see President Donald Trump's tax returns and characterized their attempts to obtain copies of the returns as a "political stunt."

Last week, House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Richard Neal, D-Mass., asked the IRS to hand over six years of Trump’s tax returns by April 10. Neal cited his authority to request the returns under a law that says the Treasury Department "shall furnish" the committee with "any return or return information" upon request.

Mulvaney said during an interview on "Fox News Sunday" that Democrats "knew they're not going to get these taxes" and that "one of the fundamental principles of the IRS is to protect the confidentiality of you and me and everybody else who files taxes."

Democrats "know the terms under law by which the IRS can give them the documents, but political hit job is not one of those reasons," Mulvaney said.

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[font size="8"]Being Racist In Public
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The Donald J. Trump administration has given rise to some… well for the sake of this piece, bad apples, and he definitely tends to attract a certain type of individual. Now let’s talk about being openly racist in public. Remember last year when Los Angeles representative Maxine Waters called for both sides to be more civil to each other and it had the reverse effect and people actually started being meaner and nastier to each other? Yeah so did we! In fact since Trump took over the White House and took a wrecking ball to our nation’s institutions, people have become meaner and nastier to each other, and they’re doing it out in the open for everyone to see and capture on their cell phones. In fact let’s go to my home town of Anaheim, California, to expand on this topic.

A surveillance camera captured a customer's racially charged rant as he yelled at an employee over a sign that advertised a daily taco special in Spanish at a Mexican restaurant in Anaheim.

The incident took place Monday at Palapas Tacos, which is located at 1101 W. Lincoln Ave.

Juan Del Rio, the restaurant's owner, told KTLA on Wednesday that he thinks the man became upset over a sign in front of his business that advertises the different daily specials.

One of the daily specials is a Friday fish taco for $1.99.

The unidentified customer tried to order the item on a different day and was surprised when he was charged more than that.

“That’s bull----! It says it in Mexican. We’re not in Mexico, we’re in America,” the customer can be heard saying in the video. “This is America. Not Spanish.”

That’s right! Let’s dissect this incident for a bit. I really wonder if people like this ever realize what they’re saying. No person who’s smart enough would ever say something like “This is America, not Spanish”. It’s English that’s our official language. But Trump and, arguably social media, has brought it out in people. It’s not just our racist friend in Anaheim, either. Check out this incident from East Haven, Connecticut. It’s almost identical to the one at Palapas Grill, identical!!! Why is my voice so high?

It's a racist and vulgar tirade caught on camera inside an East Haven grocery store is getting a lot of attention.

The Mayor of Hamden confirmed to News 8 that the woman at the center of it all has resigned from her job with Hamden Public Schools. Mayor Curt Balzano Leng told News 8 the woman did not work with children. She was a clerical worker at the school district's central offices. News 8 is not identifying her because, so far, no charges have been filed against her.

The video was taken inside a ShopRite in East Haven Friday night and spread like wildfire on social media.

The woman is seen and heard screaming curse words and racial slurs at an African-American customer in the store.

News 8 has chosen not to air the language because it is offensive and inappropriate for TV. The woman who lashed out did it in front of her children. Because of that, someone contacted DCF.

Yeah that’s true. Well, not me, anyway. All are welcome here at the Top 10, we don’t discriminate here, that’s for sure! So going back to social media, what can be done about this obviously 2010s problem of people saying whatever racist shit comes to mind? Well, racism, just like other bad behaviors, starts at the top. And while we can’t say Facebook is responsible for a lot of modern racism, but they’re at least taking steps to rid the world of these horrid people.

Facebook will ban Faith Goldy, Soldiers of Odin, the Canadian Nationalist Front, and other hate groups from across its platforms, the company said on Monday.

The ban will extend to any Facebook groups, pages, and Instagram accounts associated with those banned, which also includes Kevin Goudreau, Wolves of Odin, and the Aryan Strikeforce. These individuals and organizations have expressed white nationalist sentiments and violate Facebook’s policy on dangerous individuals and organizations, which bans “terrorist activity, organised hate, mass or serial murder, human trafficking, organised violence, or criminal activity.”

The ban comes after the social media giant has come under renewed scrutiny for allowing racism and hate to flourish on its platforms, and weeks after the terrorist attack in Christchurch, New Zealand, which was broadcast live on Facebook.

“Individuals and organizations who spread hate, attack, or call for the exclusion of others on the basis of who they are have no place on Facebook,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “That's why we have a policy on dangerous individuals and organizations, which states that we do not allow those who are engaged in offline ‘organized hate’ to have a presence on Facebook. The individuals and organizations we have banned today violate this policy, and they will no longer be allowed a presence on our services. Our work against organized hate is ongoing, and we will continue to review individuals, Pages, groups and content against our Community Standards.”

Of course! I’m a white guy from California, and I don’t get outside much. I know. I’m usually cooped up in doors trying to figure out how to entertain you people! Thank you audience! But there are people who are acknowledging that this is a huge problem. But what can you do about it? You can ban people, you can chase them away, but we do have this thing called “freedom of speech”, and we have as much of a right to tell Nazis to fuck off as much as they have a right to be a Nazi. It works both ways, don’t you know?

Following the lead of the Wisconsin Public Health Association, the important recognition is the first step that will help members of the public deepen their ability to achieve racial equity in the community, by building on the progress already underway at Milwaukee County.

In 2016, the County Executive and County Board partnered to create the Office on African American Affairs to serve in an integral role, in recognizing and aiding in the resolution of Milwaukee County’s racial inequities for the benefit of all of its citizenry, and for the region to achieve its full potential.

“It is Milwaukee County’s responsibility to address racism, including seeking solutions to reshape the discourse, actively engaging all citizens in racial justice work,” said Abele. “Local government needs to take a leadership role and we intend to do so.”

The Office on African American Affairs has made significant strides since its inception. For example, all Milwaukee County leaders have been trained on racial equity; with all 4,000 employees slated to be trained in 2019. A new racial equity ambassador program has been launched with nearly 60 employees – from leadership to front-line staff – participate in racial equity action planning for Milwaukee County. The County has been in the process of incorporating a racial equity lens into all its budget decisions..

Yeah probably! Now for the interest of social experiment, there’s Bill Mitchell. So who’s really being discriminated against here – black people or Trump supporters? Well, if you saw Bill Mitchell, he’s claiming the latter. Oh woe is me, I can’t wear my MAGA hat out in public! Well, this might be one of the dumbest things ever said by a Trump supporter, and that’s saying a lot!

On Friday night’s episode of his “YourVoice America” program, ardent pro-Trump commentator and right-wing conspiracy theorist Bill Mitchell insisted, once again, that racism is not a problem in America while his guest, one time “The Apprentice” contestant Stephanie Myers, declared that Trump supporters are the ones who are really facing discrimination in this country.

After declaring that every Trump supporter should come together for a “National MAGA Hat Day” in which they wear their red “Make America Great Again” hats in public in order to upset liberals, Mitchell complained that MAGA hats are treated as “a symbol of racism” even though actual racism in America is “just not happening.”

“Where is the racism?” he asked. “I go out to the grocery store, I go to the gas station, I go to restaurants, I go to the theater, I don’t see black people being discriminated against. I’m standing in line at the grocery store, there’s a black person in front of me, I’m talking to them, having a nice conversation, they check out just like I do. Nobody is denying them service. If you were to listen to the Democrats, they would say racism is the biggest problem in America today, that people are being hung from trees, that they’re being led off in chains. It’s just not happening. It’s not real.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: A Day At The Races
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Horse racing is a sport with a troubled past, and an equally troubled present. But one horse racing track is making headline after headline and it’s not in a good way. The Kentucky Derby is just a mere 3 weeks away but this is a story that must be addressed before the horse racing industry’s big event. However, the story that is concerning everyone is coming out of Arcadia, California. That city is home to the Santa Anita race track. And at Santa Anita, the abuse of horses is nothing to joke about.

Horse racing is among America’s oldest sports and perhaps the only one ever run out of the White House: Andrew Jackson operated a stable there during his presidency. Yet the multibillion-dollar industry is reeling as the Kentucky Derby approaches, with the death of yet another thoroughbred at the premier Santa Anita Park in California amplifying anxiety over whether the sport will continue in the state.

On Sunday, a gelding named Arms Runner fell during a race, sustaining a catastrophic injury to its right front leg that required the horse to be euthanized. It was the 23rd equine fatality since Dec. 26, and it came on only the third day of racing at the track since it had halted competition on March 5.

“I’m concerned about the publicity we’ve been getting,” said Bob Baffert, the Hall of Fame trainer who won the Triple Crown with American Pharoah in 2015 and with Justify last year. “This is our March Madness. But we’re having the wrong kind of madness. We feel like we’re all under the gun. We should be under the gun. You can’t defend a horse getting hurt.”


“We know what the stakes are and understand that we might be the place that kills horse racing in California,” said Tim Ritvo, chief operating officer of the Stronach Group, which owns the track. “Yes, we are worried, but we are confident that the track is safe and have gone the extra mile on rules that put us more in line with the rest of the world. We got to keep our doors open.”

We’re pretty sure that’s going to be the least of your problems there. So what would happen to the future of horse racing? You know it is going to be a very sad day in Arcadia when the headline is that you hold a race that is a Kentucky Derby qualifier and no horses die during the race. Except for the fact that this actually happened.

Roadster, a 3-year-old colt, won the Santa Anita Derby on Saturday, the featured event at the embattled Santa Anita Park, where nearly two dozen horses have died since December.

It was the highlight of the 11-race program at the track, where 23 horses have had to be euthanized after training or racing incidents.

Roadster is trained by hall-of-famer Bob Baffert, who also trained recent Triple Crown winners Justify and American Pharoah.

Ninety-six horses were slated to run Saturday at the park’s flagship Derby Day. The highest-stakes race is a $1 million West Coast steppingstone to qualify for the 2019 Kentucky Derby. Purse winnings for the entire day total $2.75 million.

There were no immediate reports of serious injuries on Saturday.

Actually that’s more likely the owners and not the actual horses themselves. Yes, let’s blame it on the owners for this atrocity. So how did things get this bad? And what can be done about it? It’s not so much as putting out a product but maintaining the safety of that product for not only the lives affected but also the customers and fans of the sport.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office has assigned investigators to look into the recent deaths of 22 horses at Santa Anita Park, according to DA spokesman Greg Risling.

The investigators will work with the California Horse Racing Board (CHRB) as it examines the equine fatalities. Shawn Loehr, CHRB chief of enforcement, is leading the CHRB investigation.

"We are cooperating fully with the District Attorney's Office. We will not be providing any additional details about the ongoing, confidential investigation," Loehr said.

The CHRB will perform a necropsy on any horse that dies within a CHRB-licensed facility. Based upon the findings, a complaint may be filed for any violation of CHRB rules or California law, Loehr said.

investigations might solve this thing, but then again they might not. The more that happens at Santa Anita, the more complicated the situation gets. Will it spell the end of horse racing in California? It might, but then again it might not. Santa Anita is just one of many race tracks in California which include Del Mar, Fresno, Los Alamitos, and Santa Anita. But how viable is the future of horse racing in general? It’s a sport with big money and deep pockets. Santa Anita is home to the Breeders Cup, a gateway to the Kentucky Derby. But after this, it may no longer be.

Should safety concerns or political pressures prevent Santa Anita from staging the Breeders’ Cup in November, Louisville stands ready to step up.

“If they need us to host, we could host on short notice,” Churchill Downs spokesman Darren Rogers said Friday.

“It’s something we can pull together very quickly,” said Karen Williams, president and chief operating officer of Louisville Tourism. “This city knows how to host Breeders’ Cup.”

Breeders’ Cup President Craig Fravel said Friday his organization was still committed to holding its world championships at Santa Anita on Nov. 1-2, but also acknowledged that he was “evaluating contingency plans.” Having lost 23 horses to fatal injuries since Dec. 26, the idyllic track in Arcadia, Calif. has become an unflattering focal point for an industry confronting cultural change and animal welfare activists.

We will keep an eye on this story as it develops. This is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my brothers and sisters of New York City! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know, we live in exciting and troubling times. But that’s neither here, nor is it there. Tonight is all about predicting the future! Yes, we are going to see through time and space itself to try and figure out what the good LAWRD JAYSUS has in store for us!!! Can I get an amen?? Now, there’s many ways that one can try and predict the future! Now as a preacher myself, I can tell you that church attendance is in a decline. But I’m not going to bore you with statistics! I’m not that kind of preacher! Maybe we can win people back with this kind of in your face evangelism!

Salem Media Group is a national media company that includes on its website for investors and advertisers that the company is “targeting audiences interested in Christian and family-themed content and conservative values.” Despite this, the network employs Kurt Schlichter, who openly expresses his fetish for what would seem to be profoundly non-Christian principles.

Schlichter is currently employed as a senior columnist for Salem Media Group’s Townhall website, and also produces video content for far-right Canadian media outlet Rebel Media, which was founded by Ezra Levant. Rebel Media produces a constant stream of anti-Muslim, anti-LGBTQ, and far-right content, as well as Schlichter’s videos about whatever captured his attention that day. There, Schlichter contributes alongside figures like Gavin McInnes, who founded the Proud Boys hate group.

An article authored by Christian Vanderbrouk at The Bulwark last month examined talks in conservative circles about a “national divorce” or civil war, and it highlighted Schlichter’s book series. In those writings, Schlichter details a fictional account of a civil war that is eerily akin to the Turner Diaries, a fictional novel about a race war that was authored by a neo-Nazi and serves as a foundational text for America’s white nationalist movement. Vanderbrouk wrote, “Schlichter’s books and The Turner Diaries share the same paranoia that progressive governments, aided by white collaborators, are empowering blacks to enable them to rape white women and ultimately exterminate the white race.”

Yes, even the good LAWRD JAYSUS is utterly embarrassed at this one! I mean… whew. Where do we find these people? I mean is that religion? Is that what you want to go to every Sunday? I know that I don’t, that’s for sure! But…. My forces from HEAYVUN are telling us that there’s some obstacles to a clean and prosperous future for the ALMIGHTY!!! What’s holding us back? Well, it’s our DAYMONS here on earth!

At a recent “Seers Conference” in Austin, Texas, a “prophetic” Australian speaker said he felt called to teach “spiritual warfare 5.0” to conservative Christians who are contending for the soul of the city.

Reg Morais, who Charisma identifies as “a Singapore-born, half-Indian/half Portuguese man who has no connection to Austin,” had a warning:

Demonic activity is at work in the capital of Texas at this moment. Witches and warlocks are busy at work. Territorial forces are here in the capital city. The stronghold needs to be broken. Austin is ready for a major revival to come through.

Charisma writer A.B. Petrucci noted on Monday that Austin is known as a liberal city in a conservative state. “Because of the intense spiritual activity in Austin, Christians have felt intimidated at times or that it is a lost cause, abdicated to anti-Christian, anti-biblical forces,” Petrucci wrote.

So it is the devil that could drive more people to us!!! Can I get an amen??? But as I have said, there’s DAYMONIC forces at work here, folks! And all you can do is pray them away! It’s that simple. Why yes, I do believe that the forces of SAYTAN can be ultimately prayed away with this. Apparently there’s a satanic doomsday cult that’s out to enslave all of us!

Wallnau then moved on to talking about Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, waving a news report about the fact that she had been recruited to run for office by Justice Democrats. Wallnau treated this as astonishing news, as if conservative and Religious Right groups don’t aggressively recruit people to run for office. Wallnau claimed that Ocasio-Cortez described the experience as a kind of “spiritual awakening” and declared that he feels sorry for her, saying, “It’s a counterfeit. You look at her eyes, man … She’s been taken in. She’s drinking the Kool-Aid. She’s in a cult. She doesn’t even have a rational bone in her body. She’s like in the cult.”

But in the next breath Wallnau was wishing that patriotic Christian women would step forward to be “vetted” and run for office. Wallnau said that he is “furious” that there aren’t more Christian voices out there supporting Trump. He said that “we”—it’s not clear who he meant—are planning bus tours through swing states in 2020 to get Trump-supporting Christians to vote.

Wallnau began to close his video by praying for God to bless Trump and grant him wisdom, the spirit of Elijah, divine protection, and a supernatural capacity for calm and joy. And then he asked God to change the hiring process in the White House, the subject of complaints by some right-wing activists and a focus of a White House meeting organized by Ginni Thomas in January.

Now my fair congregation, even the good LAWRD JAYSUS thinks this is utterly ridiculous and appalling, and he facepalmeth, justly! For it says that in our Good Book, which I have right here. But, while we have discussed the future of religion here, there’s one thing that can ultimately save religion and the future of humanity – sex! Lots and lots of sex!!!

At last week’s World Congress of Families global summit in Verona, Italy, author and podcaster Steve Turley told conservative activists that the future is theirs, because “conservative religionists” all over the world are having so many more babies than secularists that the secular population will dwindle to a small fraction of the world’s population.

Secularists’ below-replacement fertility rate, he said, guarantees that starting around 2030, the secular population will begin a steady decline to no more than 10 to 14 percent of national populations. Turley has made this case before, which is presumably why he was invited to speak at the WCF summit. In his book “The Return of Christendom: Demography, Politics, and the Coming Christian Majority,” he wrote, “I want to argue that we are actually seeing nothing less than a conservative Christian resurgence in our demographics and politics that promises not suicide but rather the salvation of the West.”

Demonstrating the power of a higher birthrate among conservative religionists, Turley said at WCF, is demographers’ predictions that there will be 300 million Mormons in America by the end of this century, and 300 million Amish by the end of the next. So, he said, America’s future will be “evangelical, Mormon and Amish.” As RWW noted in our preview to the WCF summit, Turley recently published a podcast he titled, “WHITES Projected to Become Dominant SUPERMAJORITY in U.S.”

Well, you heard the man!!! Go!!! Go!!!! Go!!!!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Joe Biden Kissy Face
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Guys, let’s talk for a minute. If the #MeToo movement has taught us anything, it’s don’t be a creeper, under any circumstances! There’s no good way to talk yourself out of being a creeper if you get caught doing so. Just ask Al Franken. Touched a nerve there, didn’t I? “Sorry, officer, but I didn’t mean to touch that woman’s breasts, I was reaching for a soda lid and my hand may have accidentally brushed up against her breasts.”. NO!!! That never works! So it turns out that former vice president Joe Biden may be a little bit of a creeper. But really, on the creep scale, he’s about a 1 out of 10. To put things in perspective, Trump is a 9 out of 10. Al Franken is about a 2 out of 10. Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is about a 5 out of 10. Bill O’Reilly is about a 7 out of 10. Who’s a full blown 10 you might ask? Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson, R. Kelly. So don’t be a creeper no matter what the level. How did this all go down you might ask? Here’s how.

Yet another woman has come forward to accuse former Vice President Joe Biden of inappropriate physical contact.

Sofie Karasek, an advocate for sexual assault survivors, penned an op-ed in The Washington Post Thursday detailing the backstory behind a viral photo of herself and Biden after the 2016 Oscars, the “sense of shame and belittlement” she began to feel about it and calling for Biden to take greater responsibility for his overly physical behavior in the past.

Karasek had just appeared onstage at the Academy Awards alongside survivors of sexual assault and advocates while Lady Gaga performed a song from a documentary about assault on college campuses. Biden had introduced the group, and Karasek wrote that afterward she told him the story of a woman who days before had died by suicide after being sexually assaulted.

In response to her story, Karasek wrote, Biden “leaned down, took my hands and put his forehead to mine.”

Yeah here’s the thing guys – if you don’t want to get pegged as a creeper, maybe, I don’t know, don’t do creepy things. See, I talk to women in the workplace like I’m in a sexual harassment training seminar video. “Oh I had a very nice encounter in the break room, Sara, I hope that you will report this to HR as such, and let’s do this again some time!”. Notice how unintimidating that was? It sounds a hell of a lot better than “Hey Christina, want to hear a good rape joke?”. That would earn you a one way ticket to a meeting with HR. But this wasn’t just a single encounter with the former VP, it’s painting a disturbing pattern of creepy old guy behavior.

Former Vice President Joe Biden has now been accused by two women of making them uncomfortable with unwanted behavior, potentially creating a challenge for his 2020 campaign if he does make his widely anticipated entry into the presidential race.

Biden addressed the allegations in an interview on Sunday, saying that in his four decades as a politician he has "offered countless handshakes, hugs, expressions of affection, support and comfort" but that he doesn't think he ever "acted inappropriately."

None of Biden's potential 2020 Democratic primary opponents have said the allegations should keep him out of the race but none of them have rushed to his defense either. White House adviser Kellyanne Conway has already attacked him as "Creepy Uncle Joe" despite President Donald Trump's own history of alleged sexual misconduct.

Here is a look at the allegations against Biden and the responses so far:

Excuse me a minute… but see? Nobody is excused from creeping no matter what your race, gender, creed, social, or economic status. If you’re a creeper, you’re a creeper. I mean Trump bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and walked in on underage girls getting dressed in a locker room. And you know what? We made that guy president! So there is hope for Joe Biden after all! I’m an optimist. But leave it to this guy to turn a creepy situation even creepier! I’m of course talking about Trump and what he did regarding Joe Biden.

Donald Trump has tweeted an edited video of Joe Biden, apparently showing the former vice president sneaking up on himself during a video in which he addresses sexual misconduct allegations.

The president's tweet comes just a day after Mr Biden posted his original video, in which he addressed accusations from at least four women that he had touched them inappropriately in the past. None of the women accused Mr Biden of sexual assault or harassment, and Mr Biden said in the video that he plans on being more cognisant of personal space going forward.

"WELCOME BACK JOE!" Mr Trump wrote alongside the video, which showed a superimposed of the vice president sneaking up on Mr Biden and then appearing to massage his shoulders.

The accusations against Mr Biden first emerged after former Nevada state assemblywoman Lucy Flores came forward, saying that she felt violated by Mr Biden at a 2014 campaign stop in which he approached her from behind and kissed her on the back of the head. Ms Flores was joined by at least three other women who similarly said that they felt uncomfortable by the way the former vice president had touched them.

You know what? We got to show that tweet, because it’s a whole new level of ick factor, and I say this as a male myself. Let’s show that:


Ewwwwwwwwwwwww… Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Wait… ew. You know here’s where I could point out all the people who’ve come to the former VP’s defense. But we don’t have that kind of time, there’s still 3 entries left this week! Plus we got Simple Creatures waiting to perform! So instead I’m going to tell you why women need an extra layer of defense against creepers – the creepiest news host of all time, Tucker Carlson. Who last week said something so jaw dropping unbelievably creepy that you can’t help but wonder what he does when the cameras aren’t looking.

Days after facing widespread ridicule and criticism for saying primetime cable news competitor Chris Hayes is “what every man would be” if feminists had absolute power, Fox News host Tucker Carlson wondered Thursday how America wound up being a country where “feminists do science.”

During Thursday night’s broadcast of Tucker Carlson Tonight, the conservative primetime star shared a clip—full of scary music and eerie effects—of Democratic politicians warning about the dangers of climate change, mockingly noting that it’s “so bad they’re running out of adjectives.”

Carlson then highlighted a recent study that asks whether “toxic masculinity” is a driver behind climate change by arguing that “when men’s gender identity was threatened, they tried to reassert their masculinity through environmentally damaging choices.” The report added that once this “unconscious bias is revealed, it has the potential to help society shift our increasingly precarious relationship with the environment for the better.”

Or, the way Carlson sees it, “if we want to save the environment we have to suppress men.”

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy
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Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Let’s return America to the good old days of the Gold Standard! Said nobody ever. Except for the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. He thinks it’s a great idea! Because he knows more about economics than anybody. It’s gonna be huge, believe me, folks! Even actual economists say this idea is completely fucking insane. But in this administration, who needs “facts” and “experts”? Which is why Trump wants to take control of the Fed and put this fucking guy in charge of it. Herman Cain. Yeah you don’t put a guy like Herman Cain in charge of the Fed, a government agency that can topple whole economies with a two word tweet! Why put a guy like Herman Cain in charge of the Fed? Because he’s Trump, and he doesn't give a fuck, that’s why!

The Federal Reserve — our nation’s central bank, or the bank for banks — has enormous power. That’s why, at its founding in 1913, it was deliberately created to be a step removed from day-to-day politics.

With his verbal attacks on the Fed and plans to nominate two yes-men to be members, however, it’s clear that President Donald Trump does not respect that distance. The question is whether we should be alarmed, given the Fed’s immense authority to control the U.S. economy.

The Fed can literally create money out of thin air, by buying Treasury securities. It simply creates deposits on its own account to pay for them, thus expanding the money supply. When it wishes to shrink the money supply, it sells securities from its portfolio and private bank deposits are extinguished.

The Fed regulates banks and controls the interest rate that banks charge each other on overnight loans, called the federal funds rate. It also controls the interest rate on loans it makes to private banks, known as the discount rate. And the Fed controls the percentage of deposits that banks must keep in reserve to make sure they always have the resources to pay depositors who need their money.

That’s just how volatile the nation’s central bank is. And what makes Herman Cain qualified to run the nation’s central bank? He could barely run a pizza parlor chain! And in case you’re wondering what some of Cain’s greatest hits are, well, here’s a couple of them!

Yeah so a guy who spends money on insanely creepy campaign ads, can’t remember how to properly pronounce “Uzbekistan”, and came up with an insane economic theory is somehow qualified to run the most powerful bank in the world. But he’s a friend of Trump! And Trump loves him some loyalty! Maybe that’s the art of the deal?

Former pizza chain executive Herman Cain, U.S. President Donald Trump’s pick for a position on the Federal Reserve’s interest-rate setting panel, runs a political fundraising group that has spent more than half its money supporting Trump’s reelection.

Cain, himself a former Republican presidential candidate and a long-time conservative activist, chairs America Fighting Back PAC, a political action committee created “by a group of President Trump’s most committed supporters,” according to the group’s website. Its mission is to fight “disrespectful, dishonest and destructive news” about Trump and bolster a movement of voters to fight for his reelection in 2020.

Trump, who described Cain as “a friend” on Thursday, said he plans to nominate the former head of Godfather’s Pizza to one of two vacancies on the Fed’s seven-member Board of Governors. Trump just two weeks ago said he would nominate conservative economic commentator Stephen Moore to the other vacant seat on the Fed’s board.

Trump’s plan to nominate an overt loyalist for a spot on the Fed board comes as Trump over and over again lambastes the central bank for raising interest rates four times last year and could checker the Fed’s long-cherished standing as an independent, apolitical body. Moore is also a longtime Trump ally who has joined him in criticizing last year’s rate hikes.

And Trump is trusting this guy with the Fed? I wouldn't trust him with $5! So what’s he going to do, exactly if he’s put in charge of the Fed? Put ads curing your erectile dysfunction on ATM machines across the nation? Yeah that’s the last place I want to see an ad for boner pills is when I’m at the ATM getting some cash. Really, this fucking guy.

It has been more than two years since those giddy weeks when the political press brimmed with stories about Herman Cain, front-runner for the Republican nomination for president of the United States. But Cain die-hards can still stay abreast of the ex-candidate’s positions, via his e-mail list. Roughly 360,000 people receive the messages, which are sent through Best of Cain, the online media venture he set up after the campaign. The e-mails from Cain and the website’s small stable of writers arrive at a steady clip, many of them elucidating the Cain take on the news of the day. “A serious leader would have abandoned Obamacare long ago,” one proclaimed in December, clearing up any doubt about where Cain stood on the Affordable Care Act’s less-than-smooth rollout.

But sometimes Cain’s digital missives, like a conversation with a weird uncle, veer into the unexpected. An example—there are more and more to choose from—is a message that Cain sent to his followers last July bearing the subject line, “BREAKTHROUGH: REMEDY FOR ED!”

“ED” stood for, yes, erectile dysfunction. As for the all-caps-worthy remedy, its details were not immediately clear. Language in the body of the message identified the potion as a product of Natural Breakthroughs Research LLC; a link farther down led to a website urging men to submit their e-mail addresses in order to receive “a cool free report” on impotence abatement. Sitting through a lengthy video finally yielded more information on the wonder drug, TestoMax 200, a putative natural testosterone booster. The e-mail’s final offer varied by recipient—a common marketing tactic—but could be $69.95 for a month’s supply, or $47 for something called “The Potency Programme.” Not interested? Are you sure? “Women get lonely very easily,” began one version of the pop-up windows barring the exit. “Once you leave this page, your chances of getting your manhood mojo back will decrease dramatically.”

The erectile-dysfunction ad is one of more than 50 similar pitches for miracle cures and easy-money tricks that Cain has passed along to his e-mail followers over the past two years. While he has been particularly unabashed in his embrace of the practice, he is not the only past presidential candidate hawking sketchy products. Newt Gingrich now pings the e-mail subscribers to his Gingrich Productions with messages from an investment firm formed by a conspiracy theorist successfully sued for fraud by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Mike Huckabee uses his own production company’s list to blast out links to heart-disease fixes and can’t-miss annuities.

I’m pretty sure that’s future footage of Trump there! And by the way, speaking of Trump, you know he sure can pick ‘em folks! And you know what they always say about judging the kind of person you are by the company you keep. If Trump is a serial sexual predator, guess what? Herman Cain is a guy who has had multiple affairs!

Payments to women who complained of sexual harassment. Accusations of groping. Allegations of a 13-year extramarital affair.

As President Trump moves ahead with his plan to nominate Herman Cain, a 2012 Republican presidential candidate, for a seat on the Federal Reserve’s board of governors, Republican lawmakers are being forced to confront a fresh round of uncomfortable allegations of sexual misconduct against women as the 2020 campaign begins.

A day after Mr. Trump made the choice of Mr. Cain official, Senate Republicans expressed quiet anxiety over the prospect of another #MeToo minefield even as the White House exalted the decision.

“President Trump’s statement that Herman Cain is ‘a truly outstanding individual’ is a message that the president of the United States is willing to ignore the allegations of a number of women who alleged that Herman Cain either sexually harassed them or had an affair with them,” said Gloria Allred, a lawyer who represented two of Mr. Cain’s accusers. “This message is an insult to women and should be condemned by the Republican Party and all those who care about respect and dignity for women.”

Hey Gloria, let me fill you in on a little secret about the modern GOP: They have absolutely no respect for women! Other than the cute, 125lb blond women who populate Fox News reports every night, they can stay, the rest, they don’t really care for! So that out of the way, once again Trump nominates someone who could quite possibly be the least qualified person for the job! Because, reasons.

That should be the Senate’s response if President Trump actually nominates his friend Herman Cain, the former pizza magnate turned failed Republican presidential candidate, to the Federal Reserve Board, as Trump said he plans to do.

Cain would be Trump’s second proposed addition to the Fed in as many weeks, the other being longtime partisan operative Stephen Moore. Even before this month, though, Trump had ample opportunity to reshape the Fed in his anti-institutional, anti-intellectual image. Thankfully — surprisingly, in fact — he had refrained.

For other executive branch appointments, Trump seems to have selected nominees based on who would be the absolute worst person for any given position. But until recently, his Fed choices seemed ... totally reasonable. He has picked four out of the five already-confirmed Fed board members, all of whom are competent, well-qualified professionals — all reliable Republicans, too, but Republicans who have performed their jobs apolitically. Exactly as members of the central bank, which is politically independent, are supposed to do.

Of course, that benign neglect led to some policy outcomes the president has disliked — specifically, higher interest rates. Perhaps hoping to pack the Fed with more pliant appointees, Trump has now homed in on these two.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Wait a minute, ew. That right there is a total creep face, and pretty much everyone in the Trump administration has one. That’s Herman Cain, this week’s This Fucking Guy!

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now people are people, and people are dumb. I want to start with this bizarre story out of Rogers, Arkansas. You know, you might think you know what true boredom is, but until you see this story, these guys take it to a whole new level! But as we’ve seen countless times on this program, don’t be surprised at all when you give an idiot a gun and they do something stupid with it, and there’s lots of these stories out there. But this one might be one of my favorites so far, just because it’s so jaw-droppingly stupid that you can’t help but wonder how they manage to even get dressed in the morning. Enough of my rambling, Let’s get to it.

Two Arkansas men have been arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault after police say they shot each other while taking turns wearing a bulletproof vest.

The Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reports that 50-year-old Charles Ferris and 36-year-old Christopher Hicks were arrested Monday.

A police affidavit says the two men are neighbors and were drinking on a deck Sunday when Ferris told Hicks to shoot him with a .22-caliber rifle while Ferris wore the vest. The affidavit says the shot left a red mark on Ferris' chest and that he was angry because it hurt.

The affidavit says Hicks then put on the vest and Ferris "unloaded the clip" into his back, causing bruises but no serious injuries.

Yeah so that happened! Next up, what would a People Are Dumb segment be without a visit from our good friend Florida Man? Look, I get it, you don’t want to go to work, you’d literally rather be just about anywhere but sitting in front of a desk staring at a computer screen all day. Well, don’t do what Florida Man did. Hell, that should be a meme right there. Just don’t do this!

Brian Anderson, 32, told deputies with the Polk County Sheriff's Office two unknown suspects had taken his money, necklace, and his phone before jumping into a car and driving away.

Deputies responded to the scene however shortly realized it never happened. Anderson confessed he made up the story because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at a Hardee's where he works.

The sheriff's office joked in a Facebook post "On the bright side, Brian didn’t have to go to his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant."

"He's already a pedigree thug. Forty-one felony arrests, eight misdemeanor arrests, been to prison four times," said Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

"What if somebody really needed that deputy at a crash scene to do CPR? What if somebody really needed that deputy to save their life? And he has got not only this deputy, but patrol deputies who are setting up perimeters, helicopters that are going to be flying in and trying to locate the suspects. Drone units, K-9 units, possibly all tied up."

Of course these days, George would probably be taken out by a SWAT team and there would be at least a few hour standoff. Jerry might be taken into custody too. Next up – of course we got to stick to Florida because they crazy. Remember that movie Spaceballs? Remember the late great John Candy’s character where he was a half man – half dog? Well here’s one Florida Man who is his own best friend.

A forensic psychologist says a former college student believed he was "half-dog, half-man" when he fatally attacked a man and woman at their home and was found biting one of their faces.

The Palm Beach Post reports Dr. Phillip Resnick made the conclusion in a 38-page mental-health report released this week by the Martin County State Attorney's Office.

Investigators say they found Austin Harrouff, now 22, biting John Stevens' face while making growling noises on Aug. 15, 2016.

Resnick's report says the fact that Harrouff persisted in biting Stevens "in the presence of police officers, in spite of threats of being shot, being tased and receiving multiple kicks to the head, suggests that Mr. Harrouff was actively psychotic."


Ah, I love that movie, I have seen it a hundred times, I could see it 100 more. Next up – dumb police officers! Yes, even the Po-Pos aren’t immune from stupidity. We go to the great city of Detroit for this story. Look, if you’re being trained to analyze the blood alcohol of a person, maybe I don’t know, don’t show up to the training seminar drunk! It’s that simple!

A Detroit Police officer attended a Michigan State Police training class with alcohol in his system, officials confirm.

WXYZ-TV (Channel 7) reported that the training took place Thursday, and Detroit Police Chief told the TV station that an internal investigation would be conducted.

“The bottom line is that he showed up to work under the influence of alcohol,” Craig told the television station. “This was a Michigan State Police training, he blew a .08. Certainly that’s a problem, it’s a problem for me, and it may be a problem on how it was handled after that.”

The officer was not disciplined by MSP at the event.

There’s a Simpsons clip for everything! Next up, we have to go back to the Sunshine State for this one, and maybe this is one way to unclog a toilet without having to call Roto Rooter? But once again, if you give an idiot with a gun, don’t be surprised when they do something stupid with it!

A man from St. Petersburg, Florida, shocked his roommate Saturday when he fired a gun inside their house and shattered a toilet.

Police said the bullet tore through numerous walls before it destroyed the porcelain throne, local station WTSP reported Sunday. Police arrested Ryan Rawson Montgomery, 40, who, according to an affidavit, claimed he was playing with the gun when it unexpectedly discharged.

After the incident, Montgomery tossed the gun in an area of water nearby. A visitor, Sheryl Jackson, 64, took the bullet, later telling police she wanted to hide it.

Police charged both Jackson and Montgomery with tampering with physical evidence. Also charged with culpable negligence and violating probation in Charlotte County, Montgomery is being held on a bail of $2,250. Jackson was released on a $2,000 bail, WTSP reported.

Ah, gotta love Cousin Eddie! Finally this week remember the movie Fight Club? When Edward Norton and Brad Pitt started fighting with each other but then it turned out… oh come on, do I really have to do a spoiler for this one??? Yeah, it turns out that Edward Norton was really fighting himself the entire time because, multiple personalities. Well, this guy may be a member of Project Mayhem because this happened.

Police in New Jersey have arrested a man they say was "fighting himself" at Wawa.

It happened on Tuesday around 9 p.m. at a Wawa located in Little Egg Harbor Township.

Police say they arrived to find 37-year-old Jason Cramer reportedly acting suspicious.

Cramer allegedly told a witness that he was under the influence of something.

Officers who spoke with Cramer sent him on his way after he supposedly made arrangements to get home.

But 15 minutes later, police were back at the same Wawa after Cramer was reportedly fighting with himself, punching his face and scratching his eyes.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Last week we wrapped up Round 1 coverage and it was quite exciting! Georgia knocked off last year’s champion Texas with a 3 pointer buzzer beater in double overtime with one of the highest scores of the tournament. Meanwhile, Alabama wasted no time showing Oklahoma who owns the Family Values conference and routed Oklahoma by a whopping score difference of 15! This week, we begin the expanded Round 2 coverage. The Elite 8 has been set. Now who will advance to the Final Four? We shall see. This week it’s a Gun Nut Duel To The Death as Florida takes on red hot Oregon to advance to the Final Four. But who will come out on top? Let’s find out!


[font size="4"]Florida Vs Oregon[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]

The last time we checked in with Florida, they’re still dealing with the horrifying tragedy from Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland. But you know what? Florida isn’t doing jack shit about it, as you might have guessed and instead are taking their frustrations out on – wait for it – immigrants. But has Florida learned anything? Have they really? Well guess what? While we’re all (rightfully) paying attention to the aftermath of the Parkland tragedy still unfolding, House Republicans in the Sunshine State have something extremely horrifying being planned!

A bill (SB 1238) that would allow people to carry concealed weapons at churches operating on the same grounds as schools hit a roadblock Monday, as the Senate Criminal Justice Committee temporarily postponed its consideration and then adjourned for the rest of session.

“This is our last meeting,” chairman Sen. Keith Perry said, shortly after announcing without explanation that the bill would not be heard.

The NRA-backed measure still has life in the House, where a companion (HB 403) is slated to be heard Tuesday by the Education Committee. The House Criminal Justice Committee advanced the legislation along party lines in early March, with members saying the proposal — deemed too controversial to take up a year ago after the Parkland school shooting — would help make churches safer.

Although no reason was offered, some observers speculated the Senate measure was pulled because the five-member panel included Sen. Anitere Flores, the deputy Republican leader who famously has killed gun legislation in past years. Without her support, the two Democrats on the committee could have terminated the legislation outright.

That they may, but I don’t think that they mention anything about packing heat and shooting first and asking questions later! Where’s our house pastor at? Oh he’s gone for the week? Damn it! At least this bill failed. But you know what didn’t? A bill that would give teachers – wait for it – guns! Yes, they are going to arm teachers. It’s bad enough bullets are flying in one direction!

A Florida House committee voted Thursday for a broad school safety bill that would expand an existing guardian program to allow classroom teachers to volunteer to carry weapons on campus if local school boards approve.

The Republican-led legislation adopted 11-5 along party lines by the House Education Committee builds on a law passed after last year's mass shooting that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland.

Teachers would not be required to carry guns, but those who volunteer would have to undergo 144 hours of firearms training, possess a valid concealed weapon permit and pass both a psychological evaluation and drug test.

Currently, teachers whose sole focus is classroom instruction are excluded from the program that as of January numbered about 726 armed volunteer guardians in 25 Florida counties, according to a committee staff analysis.

OK Homer might have a point here. And by the way guns are such a hot topic in Florida that this whole issue of arming teachers might have ruffled a few feathers. But that’s putting it lightly. People are pissed and rightfully so. That money should definitely be going elsewhere.

Everytown for Gun Safety, the bipartisan gun-control organization created and financed by former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, says it’s spending $200,000 to pressure Florida lawmakers not to allow classroom teachers to carry a gun at school.

On Sunday, an Everytown political committee bought full-page newspaper ads in opposition to Senate Bill 7030, a school safety bill that includes a proposal to tweak a controversial but limited provision in last year’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Public Safety Act to train and arm non-instructional school faculty.

Everytown is also buying digital ads and renting a rolling billboard “emphasizing the dangers of arming teachers” to circle the Florida Capitol until Thursday.

“We should let our teachers teach, instead of putting guns in their hands,” Gay Valimont, head of the Florida chapter of Everytown’s Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, said in a statement.

[font size="4"]Oregon[/font]

You might be thinking “Hey! Oregon is a blue state! What the hell???”. And you might be right. But they do have the city of Portland which is home to two classes of individuals – hipsters and white supremacist right wing militia types! And these two groups do not get along, in case you were wondering. In fact Portland is the home of a group that you might have heard of, that is always looking to stir shit up. They’re called “Patriot Prayer”, and they’re the uber-religious counterparts to Gavin McInnes’ Proud Boys. Yes, we try to keep track of all of the hate groups because, Trump. So why does the city of Portland tend to attract these types?

Neo-Nazi organizers viewed a 2017 Portland rally by the right-wing group Patriot Prayer as fertile recruitment grounds to grow their white nationalist movement, according to private messages leaked to an alternative media nonprofit.

The online chats, published in batches between August 2017 and March 2019 by Unicorn Riot, show that self-described neo-Nazi groups regarded Vancouver, Wash.-based Patriot Prayer as an "alt-light" group—that is, not extremist enough to be taken seriously, but attractive to people who could be further radicalized.

“Thinking about heading down to the ‘alt light’ event in Portland this coming weekend to do some recruitment work for [the Traditionalist Worker Party], show up wearing the shirt & handing out TWP literature/door hangers & talking NS to any receptive white men/women,” wrote a user who introduced himself as Matt, and used the screen name “My Name is Hate.”

The Traditionalist Worker Party is a neo-Nazi hate group that espouses anti-Semitic and white nationalist views.


Now here’s the thing – we’re not saying all gun nuts are white supremacists. But all white supremacists are gun nuts! Now you might be thinking – what does the shooting in Christchurch shooting have to do with Oregon white supremacists? Well a whole hell of a lot, actually!

America has a central role in the Christchurch shooter’s manifesto. He claims he used guns to stir up America’s debate over gun rights versus safety in hopes of dividing the country over racial and cultural lines, writing, “This balkanization of the US will not only result in the racial separation of the people within the United States ensuring the future of the White race on the North American continent, but also ensuring the death of the ‘melting pot’ pipe dream.” (He also expresses some anger about the United States’ involvement in the 1990s war in Yugoslavia.)

In general white nationalist rhetoric, Europe is “lost” in racial terms because of nonwhite immigration and low birthrates among white Europeans across the continent. But America — alongside New Zealand and Australia, to some within the movement — is viewed as perhaps the last hope for white nationalists to create an idealized “white homeland.”

Over the last 50 years, those ideas have been further developed with a surprising degree of specificity. David Lane, whom I mentioned earlier, was in favor of the so-called Northwest Imperative, the white nationalist idea of creating an “Aryan homeland” in the Pacific Northwest. The man who stabbed two people to death on a train in Oregon in May 2017 was reportedly an adherent of this idea, posting on Facebook before the attack that America should be “balkanize(d)” — the same word used by the Christchurch shooter.

So, Oregon has a massive white supremacy problem. What are they going to do about it? Well, remember that Patriot Prayer rally from last year? It turns out that Oregon’s police might have been in on it. In fact, they may have been protecting the fascists from the protestors! It’s going to take a hell of a lot to sort this mess out.

After public backlash, the mayor of Portland, Oregon, is no longer asking the city's police chief to lead an investigation into friendly text messages between a lieutenant and the leader of a far-right group that some officials say confirm "collusion" — a criticism later mocked by the group's leader.

Officials and activists also voiced concern about the texts and demanded that Mayor Ted Wheeler order an independent investigation — and not one headed by Portland Police Chief Danielle Outlaw as he first suggested. The mayor relented late Friday and said he will be working on how the new inquiry will take shape.

"I will order an independent investigation to review the existence of bias in the actions of the [Portland Police Bureau] leading up to and during demonstrations involving alt-right and anti-fascist protesters," he said in a statement, adding that he has "heard from the people of Portland" and will also work with Outlaw to implement training for police in identifying white supremacy.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Oh my god… Florida has utterly routed Oregon by a score of 25! I don’t know what they are giving Florida Man but if they keep it up they will be repeating as our Stupidest State this year! Sorry Oregon, you may be the king of the West Coast racists, but Florida owns this dance! They advance to the Final Four easily.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week, we are taking a much needed break. And that was omitted on the original schedule, for which the people responsible have been sacked. But when we come back on 4/24, we are going to continue Round 2 coverage with the Family Values Conference Championship. And what is more fitting than that for a Bible Belt showdown between Mississippi and Alabama? We’ll be live at the home of the Sacramento Kings, the fabulous Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, for all the action! Stay tuned!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Simple Creatures[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a brand new band and the coming together of the bands Blink 182 and All Time Low! Their debut EP called “Strange Love” is out now! Playing their song “Drug” from that EP, give it up for Simple Creatures!

Thank You New York City! We are taking a short break next week and we will be running a Best Of, we’ll be back on 4/24 with a brand new edition live from Denver with the Wheel Of Corruption and Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! See you in two weeks!


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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 10, 2019, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-13: Donald Trump Live In Grand Rapids Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-13: Donald Trump Live In Grand Rapids Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to sign up for the new Top 10 newsletter to get Idiots delivered straight to your inbox! We are back everybody! What’s up DC? Are you guys doing good? It’s always great to be back here in the Capital! Nobody parties quite like DC does and you guys have lots of awesome drunk food. I mean who wouldn’t want a Ben’s Chili Dog? I know I could go for one right about now! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do, it’s my fucking show! So Nicholas Cage is a weird dude. Really, sir? You could have guessed that? So you know that he literally flew to Vegas to get married and then divorced. But that’s not the craziest thing that he’s done. There’s a new article in the Sun that details all kinds of strange things that man is up to. Like did you know that he eats animals according to their mating habits? Or that he’s already made arrangements to be buried under a huge pyramid in New Orleans when he dies? Or that his bride to be was going to be the recipient of all of his money? Yes, all. Well maybe it might have to do with the fact that he and his wife ate mushrooms, but he ate mushrooms like they were M&Ms. Yes, those kinds of mushrooms. Oh and it gets weirder, because of course it would! He also once had otters as witness for his first wedding and owned a house in New Orleans that he claimed was the “most haunted ever”. Whew. Nicholas Cage, keep doing what you are doing. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the mad house that is the WWE:

Where do we begin this week? Well the number one slot this week is the guy who we currently still call president and that’s Donald Trump (1). So will he or won’t he close the border in Mexico? And what kind of effect will it have on the economy? Well, he seems bound and determined to do this, and it’s going to cost a lot, but doesn’t matter because, Fox News points. In the second slot, is also Donald J. Trump (2) and he went to Michigan last week, and his rally, whew, there was a lot to unpack and it’s all insane. For the third slot this week, we have to talk about Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti (3) and his unbelievably bizarre scandal involving other celebrity lawyers and the Nike shoe company. In the fourth slot this week, we’re going to do something a bit different. Have people just flat out had an ass full of the news (4)? We’ll talk about developing trends in the TV world as more and more people are chucking their network news for good. For the 5th slot this week is Gun Nut Conspiracy Theorists (5). And yeah they got a lot of explaining to do, especially after the NRA got caught conspiracy theory shopping, but it is fun to see Alex Jones on the decline! Yes, it’s evil and shocking. In the number 6 slot this week, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and the Jim Jefferies Show exposed the rising tide of hate in the Land Down Under so we will find out what that’s like. At number 7 is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week our resident pastor is going to take a look at a couple of university scandals including Notre Dame dress code violations and Liberty University’s contracts with the Pentagon. Yes, they’re real. Taking the number 8 slot this week, we’ve got a brand new “Beating A Dead Horse”, so conservatives are upset that their favorite fast food isn’t getting invited to the table at the airport food court! I mean come on, it’s the fucking airport food court! Really, people. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this week, we’re going to talk about one of the stupider debates to hit the internet lately. I mean really, St. Louis, what are you smoking when it comes to bagels? We are going to get schvitzed and talk about the right way to slice your bagels and eat them. And finally this week, it’s the end of Round 1 of our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019! It’s Round 1 Week 4 (10) and this week we’re live in Eugene, Oregon and it’s a battle of the Batshit as Georgia takes on Texas to play Kentucky in the Batshit Conference Championship, while Alabama thumps the Bible against Oklahoma for the Family Values Crown! Plus we have some live music from AFI! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before! The president of the United States goes to the border and well, makes a total ass of himself! There’s really no punchline there, because this administration has done some extremely horrible things to immigrants, and this week could prove to be one of the most evil things they have done yet. It’s no mistake that Trump’s favorite news network of choice, Fox News, has raised hysteria about immigrants way past 11. And Trump of course, only cares about his approval rating among Fox News fans. So you put two and two together. What’s he got planned? Well…

President Donald Trump is thrusting his hard-line posture on immigration back to the fore this week, with plans for a Friday trip to the southern border and possible new executive actions to restrict border crossings.

But days after Trump renewed his long-standing threat to shut down the southern border entirely, even administration officials and congressional Republicans were bewildered and guessing at his next move on a defining issue of his presidency.

And some Hill Republicans warned that any dramatic disruption to regular traffic across the U.S.-Mexico border could bring Trump into a new confrontation with his own party, whose leaders warn that closing parts or all of the border would wreak economic havoc.

On Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced plans to require that greater numbers of non-Mexican asylum-seekers stay in Mexico while they wait for their cases to be resolved and to speed up the reassignment of 750 customs officers to process arriving migrants.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration is considering closing some of the lanes at ports of entry or preventing certain types of vehicles or people from crossing the border as he tries to force Mexico to increase its enforcement, three outside advisers told POLITICO.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! And in case you’re wondering what kind of effect this is going to have on the economy well, it’s going to be extremely horrible. In fact everyone is against it except for of course Trump and people who watch Fox News. But then again if you try to promote these things called “facts”, keep in mind that this is the Trump administration, facts don’t matter anymore!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Tuesday questioned who is “poisoning” President Donald Trump’s mind when it comes to immigration policy, calling his recent threat to shut down the U.S.-Mexico border and his move to cut off aid to Northern Triangle countries in Central America “one of his worst ideas."

“Stiff competition, mind you, this is one of his worst ideas,” Pelosi (D-Calif.) said of Trump’s decision to end the assistance funding to Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. “It could cover so much territory that it’s hard to say worst. This is not a good idea.”

Pelosi, speaking at a POLITICO Playbook interview, argued that cutting off the funding, which is aimed at creating stability in the so-called Northern Triangle nations, was counter-productive to stemming the surge of asylum-seeking migrants from those countries showing up at the U.S.-Mexico border.

She also pushed back on the White House’s insistence that shutting down the border would force Mexico to compromise on border operations, wondering aloud where the president was getting his ideas from and saying she didn’t think “advising” was the appropriate term to use.

That is a good question! How can Trump be so evil? Because he doesn’t give a shit about how evil he really is, that’s why! This by the way, could be the most alarming detail about the forthcoming border shutdown that might alarm some people, especially if you love avocados like I do. But the GOP will probably find some way to trash avocados because, liberal tears.

A shutdown of the U.S.-Mexico border could trigger an avocado crisis, according to the world's largest grower of the green fruit.

Steve Barnard, the CEO of Mission Produce, told Reuters that if the border is shut down, the U.S. would run out of avocados in about three weeks.

He said Mexico supplies nearly all of our avocados this time of year.

Forbes points out that you may still be able find the green fruit in stores. We also get avocados from Florida and Peru, and the California crop is just starting to show up in stores and will pick up over the summer.

Last Friday, President Donald Trump declared he is likely to shut down America's southern border unless Mexican authorities immediately halt "illegal immigration."

Well that’s obvious! And come on, what did avocados ever do to you, Trump? They’re delicious and you can use them in an infinite number of ways from guacamole to avocado toast. I mean even Pearl Jam had an avocado as the cover of their 2006 album “Pearl Jam”! Maybe because Eddie Vedder really loves avocados? But there’s another casualty of the border shutdown that could have even further lasting effects of the economy. Where’s Knight Rider when you need him?

Frustrated by the large number of Central Americans who've been crossing the border from Mexico, President Trump has threatened to take dramatic action.

"If they don't stop 'em, we're closing the border," Trump warned Friday. "They'll close it. And we'll keep it closed for a long time."

This is not the first time Trump has sounded that warning. And so far he has not followed through.

Halting cross-border traffic with one of the nation's biggest trading partners could do serious damage to the U.S. economy, including industries located far from Mexico.

Retailers in San Diego got a small taste of that last November, when members of a migrant caravan charged the border and U.S. officials closed one border crossing in response. While that shutdown lasted only a few hours, it came on what should have been one of the busiest shopping days of the year. And the fallout was severe, costing local merchants an estimated $5.3 million in lost sales.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Whew, the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump has had quite the week and it seems it’s only going to get worse from here. He went on a self-congratulatory tour in Grand Rapids last week and it was the stuff of insanity. You know what? Let’s play the clip!


You can hear this and so much more on his new stand up album "Donald Trump Live From Grand Rapids!". Now available from Amazon and iTunes for the low price of $9.99! Order now and Mexico will pay for it! Thank you audience! So, to quote The Big Lebowski, what in god’s holy name is he blathering about this week?

U.S. President Donald Trump mocked renewable energy at yesterday's campaign rally in Michigan.

Implicating Hillary Clinton as part of Big Wind, Trump said, "If Hillary got in...you'd be doing wind. Windmills. Wheeeee. And if it doesn't blow, you can forget about television for that night. 'Darling, I want to watch television.' 'I'm sorry! The wind isn't blowing.'"

"I know a lot about wind," said the president. (Transcript here.)

Last month, Trump took time out of his oratory at the conservative CPAC event to work the same trope.

After suggesting that the proposed Green New Deal from the Democrats would result in “no planes” and “no energy,” the president said: “When the wind stops blowing, that’s the end of your electric.”

Well, maybe he knows a lot about wind because he’s full of hot air? Thank you! I mean just when you think it couldn’t be any crazier. Trump lies like it’s a bodily function. They’re actually like fine wines - his lies have their own body and flavor, and they really age to accentuate the fine character of each one. And by the way in case you’re wondering if he knows a lot about wind, the short answer is easy – no, he doesn’t.

President Donald Trump has repeatedly mocked wind energy this week for reasons that are dismissed by "frequently asked questions" guidance published by the Department of Energy.

On Wednesday Trump told Fox News' Sean Hannity that wind energy was unreliable because the wind "only blows sometimes." He repeated a similar criticism at a Thursday night rally in Michigan, suggesting that users would experience power outages when the wind doesn't blow.

"If it doesn't blow, you can forget about television for that night," Trump said in Michigan, adding, "I know a lot about wind."

However, the Department of Energy's Office of Energy Efficiency & Renewable Energy says that the power grid is capable of handling the variation that comes with wind energy.

In response to the frequently asked question, "What happens to the electricity supply when the wind isn't blowing?" the agency cites studies that say the power grid can handle a large amount of "variable renewable power without sacrificing reliability."

Actually, he is wrong about that one! Very wrong. The wrongest! No one is more wrong than he is, folks, and it’s going to be huge, believe me! And if you thought that was crazy, wait until you see what else he said about the Great Lakes. They have record deepness! You really can’t make this stuff up. I mean if Trump claims he’s smarter than us, would he use phrases like “record deepness”? Well, he is in a record deepness of depravity right now.

President Trump said the Great Lakes have “record deepness” during an unusual moment in his boisterous rally Thursday night in Grand Rapids, Mich.

Trump often likes to use hyperbole to describe the places he visits, and in this case it led him to make a statement in the Great Lakes State that left some people scratching their heads.

"I support the Great Lakes. Always have," Trump said during his speech. "They're beautiful. They're big. Very deep. Record deepness.”

While the Great Lakes are big and many would describe them as beautiful, they are not among the deepest lakes in the United States, let alone the world.

The deepest lake in the country is Crater Lake, a volcanic crater in southern Oregon with the deepest measured depth of 1,949 feet, according to Geology.com.

Really, he’s getting crazier and crazier. He knows a lot about wind? The Great Lakes have record deepness? And he thinks he’s smarter than us? I mean only President Stable Genius himself could go there and then he still is about as crazy as you would expect. And it’s only April. Can November 2020 please get here soon? Please???

Thanks to his rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan last week, we can confidently say that President Donald Trump is aware the Great Lakes exist.

We can’t say much more than that.

“I support the Great Lakes,” he told the assembled crowd. “Always have.” He glanced off to the side, pausing. “They’re beautiful,” he continued. Pause. “They’re big. Very deep. Record deepness, right?”

As a matter of fact, the deepest lake in the world is Lake Baikal in Russia, as Vox pointed out, and the deepest lakes in the United States are Crater Lake in Oregon and Lake Tahoe in California.

But that’s not even the most egregious falsehood from Trump. The reason he was talking about them was because he had some “breaking news” he didn’t think the crowd could “handle.”

“I am going to get, in honor of my friends, full funding of $300 million for the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, which you have been trying to get for over 30 years,” he said. “So, we will get it done.”

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[font size="8"]Michael Avenatti
[br] [/font]

You know it’s a fucked up week when Stormy Daniels’ lawyer himself, Michael Avenatti, gets indicted for a massive fraud scandal involving other celebrity attorneys and it’s not the craziest thing that has happened in a week. I mean we only get 10 of these a week to talk about this shit. 10!!! Which means that we have to pick and choose what we get to talk about here, but this might be one of the most insane scandals yet. This week. And trying to figure out this mess is well, what one would call a “clusterfuck”. So what kind of mess did Avenatti get himself into?

Federal prosecutors in Manhattan and Los Angeles charged attorney Michael Avenatti nearly simultaneously in two criminal cases Monday, unsealing complaints that alleged he attempted to extort more than $20 million from Nike and that he committed wire and bank fraud.
Avenatti was arrested Monday afternoon in Manhattan, law enforcement officials tell CNN. He was released on a $300,000 bond Monday night and said outside federal court that he is "highly confident" that he will be "fully exonerated."

The criminal complaint unsealed in the New York case describes a rapid investigation that unfolded over the course of just the past six days, beginning March 19, and portrays Avenatti as the brash persona likely familiar to the public from his former representation of adult-film actress Stormy Daniels.

According to the complaint, Avenatti met March 19 with attorneys for Nike and threatened to release what he said were allegations of misconduct by employees on the eve of both its quarterly earnings call and the start of the NCAA tournament.

Avenatti would disclose the allegations at a press conference, he said, according to the complaint, unless Nike made millions in payments to him and an unnamed co-conspirator by hiring them to conduct an "internal investigation," for which he later requested between $15 million and $20 million. Avenatti also allegedly demanded that Nike pay $1.5 million to an individual he claimed to represent.

Yeah so trying to figure out this whole mess is kind of like that. And what do R. Kelly and Jussie Smollet have to do with this? Well, it seems that Avenatti may not be the only celebrity attorney who is involved in this extortion clusterfuck. And I mean nothing good happens when R. Kelly and Jussie Smollet are involved, are they?

R. Kelly’s lawyer has demanded law enforcement officials preserve all communications between Cook County prosecutors and embattled celebrity attorney Michael Avenatti.

Citing concern over Avenatti’s recent indictment for allegedly attempting to extort millions from Nike and referencing State’s Attorney Kim Foxx’s handling of charges against “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett, defense attorney Steve Greenberg, filed a motion that requires prosecutors, police and the state’s witnesses to save their communications with Avenatti.

Talking to reporters after a brief hearing on Monday, Greenberg said the prosecutors’ case against Kelly appear to lean heavily on accusations leveled by Avenatti and the women he is representing. Avenatti’s extortion case has shown “how he operates,” Greenberg said.

“We’ve already seen that State’s Attorney Foxx has conversations with people about pending cases, pending investigations,” Greenberg said after the brief hearing Monday. “I want to know what conversations she had with Avenatti about this case, and these facts, and what occurred.”

So yeah stop trying to figure this thing out because it’s damn near impossible. And by the way you might be asking “Wait, what is becoming of Avenatti’s presidential ambitions?” Well, I answer you good sir / madam, he could quite possibly be going away for a very long time, so do we have to bring back the Trumper Games for this one? No? Well, OK we’ll save that for when departures affect us that we actually care about.

Michael Avenatti made his first West Coast court appearance Monday as a criminal defendant -- not as an attorney for Stormy Daniel in her case against President Donald Trump.

Avenatti requested to waive his right to a preliminary hearing as he faces charges that include having embezzled more than $1 million from a client. U.S. Magistrate Judge John Early set April 29 for Avenatti's post-indictment arraignment.

Outside the Orange County, California, courthouse, in meeting briefly with reporters and a battery of television cameras, Avenatti vowed to fight the charges.

"For nearly 20 years, I have represented Davids vs. Goliaths as an attorney," he said.

Now, he said, he will be winding through the justice system himself and "I am highly confident that when the process plays out, justice will be done."

Though he spoke only for about a minute, a heckler tried to shout him down with taunts, including one accusing him of being a "porn attorney."

Oh come on! That’s the best insult ya got? Michael Avenatti is a “porn attorney”? I mean in the porn industry I’m sure there’s way worse nicknames you could come up with! And by the way, do we really need Coach K from Duke weighing in on this scandal? Really? That’s who you go to for your opinion on a $20 million extortion scandal? Not a financial or economic expert, but Coach K? Really?

Lawyer Michael Avenatti caused a stir this week when he claimed he was going to hold a press conference exposing a major scandal involving Nike and high-level college basketball programs. Avenatti was later arrested and released on bail for allegedly trying to extort Nike.

Avenatti would go on to tweet allegations against UNLV, Arizona and Oregon. He accused Nike of making illegal payments to lure top recruits to those programs.

He would also cryptically mention Duke in one of his tweets. There were no specific allegations against the Blue Devils but it got people’s attention.

“And Duke…” was the entire text of the tweet.

That isn’t much, but it was enough for someone to ask Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski about Avenatti and Nike during his media availability at the Sweet 16 today. He denied there was anything in the scandal involving his program.

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[font size="8"]Enough Of The News
[br] [/font]

It’s no secret that our TV obsessed president loves him some ratings. In fact that’s just about all he talks about. Yes, Donald Trump has mentioned TV ratings far more than any other president before him. Why is that? Because nobody else gave a shit! He does! With that in mind we’re going to devote this next segment to talking about Trump’s favorite subject – ratings. So he thinks CNN and Rachel Maddow have taken a nose dive since the Muller Report came out? Well let’s see what the latest developments are in the world of TV ratings!

President Donald Trump TV habits shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone anymore, but there’s a new report out with some behind-the-scenes details of just how much POTUS pays attention to what happens on cable news.

The Washington Post report this morning details Trump’s “elated” reaction to that December Oval Office meeting when he told then-House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer he would take credit for a government shutdown. Most people were shocked, but the president loved that it rated well and spoke to then-Speaker Paul Ryan about it:

“This is why I was so great on the Apprentice,” he told a startled Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) during a phone call the next morning, crowing that the ratings of the meeting were “great.”

Ryan said he did not know such government meetings scored ratings — or that they were released within 12 hours, according to aides familiar with the call who requested anonymity to describe the private conversation. Trump told Ryan that everyone watched and that Trump was dominating the TV — and that made the meeting a success.

And if you’re wondering how cognizant lawmakers are of the fact that Trump will notice them if they go on cable news, per the Post, the president told senators at the Senate Republican lunch this week “that he appreciated them defending him on TV,” giving Senator John Kennedy a shoutout in particular.

Yeah well he does guarantee a lot of things. But he says one thing because he thinks it’s true but in reality it’s almost the exact opposite. Maybe Rachel Maddow’s ratings are on the decline because people have had just a fucking ass full of the news? Well, people in general have had an ass full of TV and are doing, well, just about anything but sitting in front of the tube these days. So Rachel Maddow’s ratings decline is just part of a slow, steep process.

The sky is falling for network TV. Then again, the sky has been falling for decades — and yet, the broadcast networks are still here, despite all the gloom-and-doom prognosticators. But the first night of the new fall TV season was met mostly by a yawn from viewers, and will feed another cycle of the-networks-are-dying narratives.

Of course, there’s some truth to that. Just five years ago, NBC led the first night of premiere week (Sept. 23, 2013) with a 4.6 rating among adults 18-49, while ABC was in fourth with a 2.3 rating. This year, NBC led all networks on Monday night — with a 2.1, while fourth-place ABC landed with just a 1.2.

But on the positive front, the four major networks’ total viewer averages combined to 32.3 million on Monday night, up from 31.2 million on the first night of premiere week a year ago. And NBC launched new drama “Manifest” to a solid — hell, for 2018, a tremendous — 2.2 rating and 10.4 million viewers, making it the network’s most-watched drama series premiere in three years. And as has been pointed out, the night’s lowest-rated program, CBS’ “Bull,” still rated higher in the adults 18-49 demo than anything on cable that night (save, of course, ESPN’s Monday Night Football, which trumped all).

Except it’s way past October 31st there, Trump. So ratings for everything are down because well, the TV climate and the way that we consume content is changing. Even we here at the Top 10 are feeling the ratings hit! I mean at this point the presidency has turned into a “my TV ratings are better than your TV ratings” kind of shit fight that you’d expect. Although really, who cares? Time to turn the TV off and go outside for a change.

Rachel Maddow isn’t backing away from her coverage of President Donald Trump and any connection to Russia’s involvement in trying to influence the 2016 presidential campaign. The question is how much her fans want to listen.

Maddow’s audience has dipped on her two days back on the air since Attorney General William Barr reported that special counsel Robert Mueller had found no collusion between Trump and Russia’s efforts. Her audience of 2.5 million on Monday was 19 percent below her average this year, and it went down further to 2.3 million on Tuesday, the Nielsen company said.

Meanwhile, her head-to-head competitor on Fox News Channel, Sean Hannity, saw his audience soar on Monday to 4 million viewers, a 32 percent increase from his average. It slipped to 3.57 million on Tuesday. One of Trump’s most prominent media fans, Hannity was to interview the president on Wednesday’s show.

Hannity and Maddow have run neck-and-neck atop the cable news ratings this year, with Maddow having the slight edge.

Fox’s Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham also saw their audiences top their averages both days, while other prime-time hosts on MSNBC and CNN saw their audiences plunge.

Well there is one thing that Trump hadn’t counted on – prior to the release of the Mueller Report, which we all know they didn’t read, MSNBC had one of the highest ratings of any quarter in the last 15 years, so suck it!!! Oh, that might have caused Trump to go on his latest temper tantrum regarding the ratings for his beloved Fox.

There's a certain risk in releasing ratings news releases on April Fool's Day. But for MSNBC, the chance to reverse a week of stories about slumping viewership—and a presidential tweet joking about the network's ratings compared with Fox News—was reason enough to start April with a bold new headline, one the network provided to reporters Monday in a news release with a breathless, all-caps headline: "MSNBC’S 'THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW' IS THE #1 CABLE NEWS PROGRAM IN A25-54 FOR THE QUARTER, DELIVERS THE SHOW’S HIGHEST-RATED QUARTER EVER IN TOTAL AUDIENCE."

But the full details on which that headline is based appear at the bottom of the release: "NOTE: 1Q19 ratings are based on Nielsen Live+Same data day for December 31, 2018 – March 28, 2019. Individual show data represents regular programming only, excluding specials and breaking news."

That means MSNBC didn't stick around for the last three nights of March to declare that The Rachel Maddow Show had made history, posting its highest quarterly ratings since the show's debut and averaging 3.07 million total viewers. Why not wait until Tuesday, when we can compare MSNBC's ratings apples-to-apples against the competition at Fox News and CNN? Well, perhaps because a best-ever rating among total viewers might sound somewhat less ALL-CAPS dramatic if you have to add the detail "while finishing in second place behind Fox News Channel's Sean Hannity."

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Conspiracy Theorists
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You ever stop and think that the people who are peddling conspiracy theories may actually be involved in a real life conspiracy? Well that’s the conundrum that the NRA and Alex Jones got themselves into this week when it was revealed that the NRA… got caught shopping for conspiracy theorists this weekend, and it was also very amusing to see Alex Jones go down with the ship. You know what? Let’s roll that clip of Alex Jones at a fried chicken joint because it’s spectacular:

Wow, I didn’t know it was open mic night at Lucy’s Chicken! But anyway, the NRA is shockingly evil as is evidenced by what they did in New Zealand. See, the United States isn’t the only country having to put up with people who claim that everyone is out to take their guns away!

An NRA employee corresponded with a prominent Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist the day after the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, speculating that the gunman had not acted alone.

“Just like [Sandy Hook], there is so much more to this story,” the NRA employee, Mark Richardson, told the conspiracy theorist, according to emails obtained by HuffPost. “He was not alone.”

“Thank you for all the information. And for what you do. STAY SAFE.”

Since the 2012 Sandy Hook elementary school shooting, conspiracy theorists who claim grieving family members of shooting victims are “crisis actors”, and that mass shootings are staged to advance gun control, have continued to harass victims’ families. This confrontation is sometimes very direct: a Florida woman was sentenced to five months in prison for sending threatening messages for one Sandy Hook father that death was coming for him “real soon”. New theories targeting family members of the most recent victims emerge immediately after each high-profile shooting, and generate online and in-person harassment.

The emails from Richardson, who was using his official NRA email address, emerged as part of a defamation lawsuit by Sandy Hook parents against the Infowars host Alex Jones, who used his show to air Sandy Hook conspiracy theories. Wolfgang Halbig, the conspiracy theorist Richardson emailed, has contributed to Infowars.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So the NRA is stunningly evil here, and if you think that’s all, the NRA is in over their heads this week after it was found out that they oppose the violence against women act. Oh wait, that’s nearly 95% of the NRA’s clientele there, that’s who they cater to! So, if we extrapolate, the NRA supports violence against women.

“The No. 1 way that women are being killed with guns is by their beloveds, their boyfriends, their significant others,” freshman Rep. Lucy McBath (D-Ga.) said as she argued in favor of stricter gun laws. Her son, Jordan Davis, was murdered in 2012 by a man at a Jacksonville, Fla., gas station who was upset over the music being played in the car Davis was in with friends. She is no stranger to gun violence.

“I am not paying attention to the rhetoric of the N.R.A. because I can’t be distracted. What’s most important is putting forth good legislation to save as many lives as we can,” McBath said in a quote reported by the New York Times.

As the Times reports, the NRA is up in arms (pun intended) over a new provision in the 1994 Violence Against Women Act that is up for reauthorization in Congress after expiring in February.

The way the law is currently written, anyone who is convicted of domestic abuse can have their guns taken away from them if they are currently or were previously married to their victim, live in the same house as their victim, are the parent or guardian of their victim, or have a child with their victim.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! By the way, remember our good buddy Alex Jones from a while back? Let’s check in on him for a minute. So what’s his excuse for being the conspiracy theory whack-a-doodle that he is known to be? Well, his excuse is…. SURVEY SAYS… psychosis. Yes, he is going there and blaming his psychosis for him being an insufferable douche.

Broadcaster and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones said it was a "form of psychosis" that caused him to believe certain events --- like the Sandy Hook massacre -- were staged.
On December 14, 2012, 20 children and six adults were killed by 20-year-old Adam Lanza in Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

Jones, who founded InfoWars.com and hosted a three-hour news-talk radio program which he said was carried on more than 160 stations, had repeatedly suggested in the past that the Sandy Hook shooting was a "giant hoax" carried out by crisis actors on behalf of people who oppose the Second Amendment.
InfoWars has also suggested the September 11 attacks were an inside job orchestrated by the US government.

This week, Jones acknowledged the shooting was real during a sworn deposition he made as part of a defamation case brought against him by Sandy Hook victims' families.

"And I, myself, have almost had like a form of psychosis back in the past where I basically thought everything was staged, even though I've now learned a lot of times things aren't staged," he said. "So I think as a pundit, someone giving an opinion, that, you know, my opinions have been wrong, but they were never wrong consciously to hurt people."

You know if only some of these guys would try, I don’t know, smiling and maybe enjoying life for a minute or two they wouldn’t be so unbearable! And you know we’re not going to talk about all the mass shooting related suicides here, because that’s too horrifying and depressing to make fun of, and that would be beneath us. So we’ll instead trash Alex Jones and his desperate plea to be a victim here, because that’s the least we can do. Oh, and fuck Alex Jones.

Alex Jones, who claimed the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was staged, may now be blaming his opinion on “a form of psychosis” he had in the past “where I basically thought everything was staged ... even though I’m learning a lot of things aren’t staged.”

According to published reports, those claims were made earlier this month when Jones was grilled during an Austin, Texas, deposition taken in connection with one of the lawsuits brought by parents of some of the 20 children killed in the 2012 shooting.

Gunman Adam Lanza, who also killed his mother and six educators during the mass shooting, killed himself as police approached the school.

Jones spent more than three hours answering questions posed by lawyers in a suit claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress brought on behalf of Jessie Lewis, one of the slain children, by his mother, Scarlett Lewis.


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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Hate Down Under
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The entire world right now is dealing with a problem that should have been dealt with at the end of World War II. The rising tide of hatred and white nationalism has reared its’ ugly head again. As previously seen in such countries as Brazil, the UK, Hungary, Italy, Poland, Turkey, the Philippines and the United States. Now the latest country to be targeted by Vladimir Putin’s Internet Research Agency, or IRA, is Australia. The country and its’ rise of hate and white nationalism came under fire after the Christchurch shooting claimed the lives of 50 people. So the Land Down Under has a huge racist problem that it is dealing with. How are they handling it?

Australians proudly point to their nation as being one of the most ethnically and culturally diverse on the planet. But the New Zealand shootings are placing a new focus on Australia's far-right politics and its mingling with its white nationalist movement.

The March 15 massacre in Christchurch, which claimed the lives of 50 people, quickly led to dramatic changes in New Zealand's firearms laws as the government announced it will ban military-style semi-automatic and assault rifles.

The worst mass shooting in New Zealand's modern history is resonating here in neighboring Australia. The chief suspect in the shootings is Australian, leading many people who knew the man to struggle with the knowledge of growing up with, having taught or having worked alongside a person that allegedly could have committed such a crime.

In Canberra, the government is proposing a law that will allow fines and prison time to be handed out to social media executives if their companies fail to quickly remove violent content from their platforms. The man charged with the shootings is a suspected white supremacist who livestreamed the shootings on Facebook.

Some observers say the country's far-right politics has not faced the level of scrutiny that some minority groups receive.

"Far-right groups in Australia have been able to operate under the radar more than any Muslim group could have done," says human rights attorney Greg Barns, who recently published a book on the rise of white nationalism in Australia titled "The Rise of the Right." He blames the Liberal Party-led coalition government because, he says, it allowed anti-Muslim sentiment to flourish in the country but did nothing to stamp it out.

Yes, yes it was racist. But it seems there’s nowhere on earth right now that is immune from the rising tide of hate and white nationalism that is engulfing the planet. It’s Hitler’s vision on a global scale, and even New Zealand – a place that until recently was considered politically neutral, has fallen victim to Putin’s IRA.

No place is immune from the rise of hate and extremism. Not even New Zealand, until now a relative haven from the world’s political monstrosities.

The deadly terrorist attack on two mosques on 15 March in Christchurch (in which 50 people died and dozens were injured) appalled the world. New Zealand is not renowned for either far-right activity or mass shootings.

The attack’s Australian dimension has also prompted questions over that country’s readiness to combat far-right terrorism. The Christchurch gunman, 28-year-old Australian Brenton Tarrant, appeared to be unknown to the authorities. Should he have been on terror watch lists? And what does his radicalisation and murderous spree against Muslims as they prayed tell us about his home country?

In recent years, far-right movements have enjoyed success in Australia. Political debates have reflected the creeping normalisation of racist hate and bigotry. In view of the relationship between hate speech and political violence, a white supremacist terrorist attack with some Australian connection seemed grimly inevitable.

Even Hitler isn’t pleased with this one. And you know when Hitler isn’t pleased, he isn’t pleased. What is to stop this rising tide of hate? Well if you’re in Australia and you only have eggs at your disposal, you use them, which is what one young Australian used when he confronted Senator Anning. If you start spouting white nationalist talking points in public, you’re going to get an egg in the face. It’s human nature.

A far-right Australian lawmaker who blamed the slaughter at two Christchurch mosques on immigration policies that "allowed Muslim fanatics to migrate to New Zealand in the first place" literally had egg on his face Saturday.

Sen. Fraser Anning, no stranger to controversy, was left with raw egg dripping down his back and the front of his shirt after a teenager raised his phone with one hand and, with the other, smashed an egg on the side of the politician's head at a Melbourne news conference.

Anning, in footage that went viral, was seen punching the boy in the face and then taking another swing before the two were separated. The teenager was tackled to the ground.

The encounter occurred a day after the massacre at two New Zealand mosques left at least 49 people dead and dozens injured.

The same day, the lawmaker said, "This kind of violent vigilantism ... highlights the growing fear within our community, both in Australia and New Zealand, of the increasing Muslim presence."

Yes, that happened. So what can be done about it? Elections like Brexit and Trump happened when we weren’t looking. But when the next elections come around, is there anything we can do to stop the trolls and the IRA? Well, when it’s all connected as it is in New Zealand and Australia, then confronting it is going to be next to impossible. But we can be ready for them.

Australian Al Jazeera reporter Rodger Muller infiltrated a meeting between the US National Rifle Association and Australia's far-right/white nationalist party One Nation, where the NRA gave party bosses advice on how to reverse Australia's tough anti-automatic/semi-automatic gun laws (passed after a 1996 mass shooting that killed 35 people) and what to do to deflect public calls for gun control when the next mass shooting happens.

In the secret recording, two One Nation officials -- Chief of Staff James Ashby and Queensland party boss Steve Dickson -- seek up to $20 million from the NRA's US supporters to fund their gun lobbying in Australia.

NRA PR team members Lars Dalseide and Catherine Mortensen gave the One Nation official extensive advice on managing crisis communications following mass shootings, advising them to "say nothing," and to plant stories that smear gun-control advocates by "shaming" them with statements like "how dare you use their deaths to push that forward. How dare you stand on the graves of those children to put forward your political agenda?"

The NRA flaks also described how they encourage friendly reporters to publish stories about violent crimes that suggest the victims would have been able to defend themselves if they had guns; they also described how the NRA ghost wrote op-eds in favor of looser gun laws that were published under local cops' by-lines.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Washington DC! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know, a lot of my fellow zealots aren’t too keen on higher education. We here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 encourage higher education. It’s one of the staples of this country that makes it great, despite what the unholy Dark One is saying about universities! But… it is getting to be way too expensive! And what does your top dollar get you for admission into these universities, you might ask? Well, if you look at the holiest universities, such as Notre Dame or Liberty University, you might get a whole lot more than you bargained for!

Within months of President Donald Trump taking up residence in the White House, the federal government signed a $900,000 contract to purchase jet fuel from a company owned by evangelical leader Jerry Falwell, Jr.’s Liberty University, according to The Daily Beast.

The Pentagon’s Defense Logistics Agency entered into the agreement on May 9, 2017, thus far buying more than $400,000 worth of turbine fuel. The company, Freedom Aviation, is fully owned by Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, The Daily Beast reported — and Falwell, Jr. is one of the president’s most ardent supporters.

According to Pentagon officials, Freedom Aviation is the only “fixed-base operator” in the area and was contracted to refuel Department of Defense aircraft at the Lynchburg airport.

DLA spokesman Patrick Mackin also said the company “submitted the only offer” to contract for the services, and its per-gallon rate of $2.69 ”was determined fair and reasonable in accordance with the Federal Acquisition Regulation and was in line with prices at other airports in the region.”

But Austin Evers, the executive director of transparency group American Oversight, told The Daily Beast that the deal raises red flags, not the least being Liberty University’s inexperience in providing such services to the government.

Yes, that does seem suspicious indeed! Now in doing the LAWRD’s work, which Jerry Falwell Jr does not, why did they wait until the Dark One assumed power in order to begin selling fuel to the Pentagon? I mean I have never seen anything so preposterous! But the media wasn’t reporting this story and they should report it more! I mean this is some shady shit that we’re seeing here, and I am not at all surprised that Liberty University is doing something shady!

The contract was scrutinized on Thursday after The Daily Beast reported that it was signed shortly after President Trump's inauguration. Trump has close ties to the university's president and delivered a commencement speech there in 2017.

The Defense Department signed a contract to buy jet fuel from Freedom Aviation, which is wholly owned by the university, in May 2017, according to the publication, and has since bought more than $400,000 worth of fuel from the company.

In a statement, Freedom Aviation President Andrew Wallace told The Hill that the Daily Beast's story was "misleading."

"The contract to provide the U.S. Department of Defense with fuel at the Lynchburg Regional Airport has been in place for over 20 years.The term of the contract signed in June 2017 began in November of 2016 and was merely a renewal of the pre-existing contract," Wallace said. "Since 2000, the highest volume of jet fuel delivered to the Defense Department under this jet fuel contract in any given year was during the Obama administration."

Freedom Aviation owns six planes, which it maintains at the university’s Lynchburg, Va., flight school. It provides both charter flights and private aircraft used by the university’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr.

Now I am going to do something unusual and switch subjects for the rest of the segment! I mean yes we only have a limited amount of time here at mass and I can’t divulge anything. I mean that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would do, is it! There’s another higher education controversy that I wanted to get to this week. What is appropriate dress code at mass? It seems that Notre Dame is in trouble over a controversy with the ladies!

A mother’s letter published in Notre Dame’s student newspaper urging the university’s young women to stop wearing leggings went viral this week — and students organized pro-leggings protests in response.

In a letter to the editor titled “The Leggings Problem,” printed in the Observer — the student newspaper for Notre Dame and neighboring schools St. Mary’s and Holy Cross — Maryann White lamented the popularity of the tight-fitting garment amongst the women students of these three Catholic colleges.

White wrote that while attending Mass at Notre Dame’s Basilica of the Sacred Heart during her last campus visit, she and her sons sat behind “a group of young women, all wearing very snug-fitting leggings and all wearing short-waisted tops (so that the lower body was uncovered except for the leggings).”

She described the young women as looking like “the leggings had been painted on” their “blackly naked rear ends.”

“I was ashamed for the young women at Mass. I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds,” she wrote, imploring the female students to cover their “nakedness” so that “unsavory” men wouldn’t ogle them and upstanding men like her sons wouldn’t be forced to avoid looking at their nether regions.

Yes, won’t somebody think of the children indeed! Oh those poor downtrodden males being subjected to the horrors of form-fitting women’s clothing? Won’t somebody please think of their impure thoughts that might arise! Well, something’s arising anyways! Yes, I couldn’t help that joke sir, we are allowed to do that in my church! And I am using that to prove a point – we’re allowed progressive viewpoints and humor in our church! It’s the people who forbid it where it all goes to shit! So what happens when people don’t? Well you get this! What is this scandal really about?

We can always count on leggings to change the subject for us.

For most of Thursday, March 28, the only headline that shared space with Jussie Smollett on the Chicago Tribune’s “most read stories” list was, “Notre Dame mom begs female students to stop wearing leggings, sparking protests: ‘Think of the mothers of sons.’ ”

Maryann White, a self-described Catholic mother of four sons, wrote a letter to the editor published by the Observer, Notre Dame’s student newspaper, imploring Notre Dame women to start an anti-leggings trend. She was upset, in particular, by seeing young women wearing leggings to Mass recently.

“I thought of all the other men around and behind us who couldn’t help but see their behinds,” White wrote. “My sons know better than to ogle a woman’s body — certainly when I’m around (and hopefully, also when I’m not). They didn’t stare, and they didn’t comment afterwards. But you couldn’t help but see those blackly naked rear ends. I didn’t want to see them — but they were unavoidable. How much more difficult for young guys to ignore them.

“Leggings are so naked, so form fitting, so exposing,” she continued. “Could you think of the mothers of sons the next time you go shopping and consider choosing jeans instead?”

Except we did there, good sir!!!! But this isn’t about the children, this is about the mothers of the children! They might have just as well have said “You dang kids get off my lawn!!”. There you have it, mass has ended! May you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Conservatives love to fight strange battles. One of which is a restaurant that repeatedly gets flogged for its’ human rights violations and repeatedly donates to anti-LGBT groups, such as James Dobson’s Focus On The Family, and that is Chik-Fil-A. Well, new controversy erupted this week over Chik-Fil-A getting banned from the airport food court. Really, you’re upset that you can’t eat your favorite shit food restaurant of choice going from San Antonio to Milwaukee, conservatives? All of our other problems have been solved? So you’re choosing to fight battles at the terminal food court. It’s all part of a culture war that nobody asked for, nor did they really want in the first place. Well here’s more.

Chick-fil-A has been banned from opening up a new location at the San Antonio International Airport.

On Thursday, the San Antonio City Council approved a seven-year concessions agreement for new restaurants and businesses in Terminal A of the Texas airport with Paradies Lagardère, a travel retailer and restaurateur that works with more than 100 airports.

Chick-fil-A was initially in the plans, but council members amended the plans to exclude the chicken restaurant, with some citing concerns with its record on LGBTQ issues. The amendment was approved by a 6-4 vote.

Councilman Roberto Treviño said in a statement after the vote that, with the decision, the council "reaffirmed the work our city has done to become a champion of equality and inclusion."

"San Antonio is a city full of compassion, and we do not have room in our public facilities for a business with a legacy of anti-LGBTQ behavior," Treviño said in the statement. “Everyone has a place here, and everyone should feel welcome when they walk through our airport.”

Oh sure, it starts out innocently enough and that it was a good gesture that the City Of San Antonio actually cares about its’ LGBT citizens. But then the Texas republican party got involved. And you know that nothing good happens when they get a hold of something. Yes, the same people who gave us Trump turn everything to shit!

The Texas attorney general is investigating whether the city of San Antonio violated Chick-fil-A's religious liberty when it banned the fast food chain from its airport.

Last week, the San Antonio city council approved a new concessions contract for the San Antonio International Airport -- on the condition that Chick-fil-A be excluded.

Texas attorney general Ken Paxton slammed the city's decision as "discriminatory" and "inconsistent with the Constitution and Texas law." He echoed that thought in a tweet substituting waffle fries for the famous cannon in the Gonzales flag used during the Texas Revolution.

"The Constitution's protection of religious liberty is somehow even better than Chick-fil-A's chicken," Paxton wrote in a Thursday letter to the San Antonio mayor and city council. "Unfortunately, I have serious concerns that both are under assault at the San Antonio airport."

Yeah how dare you interfere with my right to preach hatred and eat fried chicken and waffle fries! How dare you, I say!!! But the City Of San Antonio wasn’t alone in banning Chik Fil A from the terminal food court, and you know how politics makes for strange bedfellows. The city of Buffalo also banned Chik Fil A from the terminal food court for the exact same reasons! But at least in New York, they don’t have the Texas republican party to deal with!

Another airport is cancelling its order of Chick-fil-A.

The revamped food court and concessions area within the Buffalo Niagara International Airport will not have a Chick-Fil-A as one of its anchor restaurants. State Assemblyman Sean Ryan, who questioned tentative plans for a Chick-Fil-A outlet at the airport, said Friday that Delaware North has agreed not to bring the Atlanta-based chain into the Cheektowaga terminal.

In preliminary renderings presented Thursday to the NFTA Board of Commissioners said that Chick-Fil-A might have been one of the new food outlets brought to the airport.

He objected because Chick-Fil-A has “a long history of supporting and funding anti-LGBTQ organizations.”

Ryan said following a meeting Friday with Delaware North and NFTA representatives any plans to pursue Chick-Fil-A as a food court anchor tenant were dropped.

By the way, Christian conservatives, before you get your underwear in a wad over which restaurants are being allowed at the airport, you should be more concerned with the quality of the food you’re getting at the airport. George Carlin once said that the “terminal snack bar” is probably an appropriate name for it, and he might actually be right! These are some real headlines that have appeared in the last month, and you might want to think twice before you pull the trigger on the airport Popeyes, or Starbucks, or Chik Fil A, or McDonalds, or anywhere else you might fly to!

It may look inviting from the outside, but health inspectors found plenty of issues inside The Westin at DIA. The Grill and Vine restaurant failed our report card with eight health code violations in December.

Across the Bay we found a packed St. Pete-Clearwater Airport and their upstairs Sam Adams Grille filled with customers.

But we also found big problems on the restaurant’s Sept. 26 inspection. The establishment is operated by First Class Concessions, written up with 23 violations including a black or green mold-like substance inside the ice machine, an employee not properly washing their hands and touching food without gloves.

The Hilton San Antonio Airport Hotel received a failing health score late last month after a city inspector found expired food in the hotel kitchen’s coolers.

The hotel, located in the 600 block of NW Loop 410, also was dinged for having broken kitchenware and for not protecting food in its buffet line from possible contamination

A database of city health inspections at 130 O’Hare restaurants shows 10 received failing scores during the last half of 2018.

Some of the restaurants on the list of failed inspections include popular chains like Chili’s and Macaroni and favorites from the Lettuce Entertain You company.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey Washington DC! I really need a drink!

Of course you know by now that the idea of this feature is that we cocktail and while we’re cocktailing we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And this week we’re going to talk about the great bagel controversy of 2019. Yes, bagels. So tell me bartender, what goes well with some bagels with lox and cream cheese? A glass of Manechevitz? Eh, I think I will stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. So we’re going to get schvitzed and talk about the right way to slice your bagels. Sliced horizontally with a giant schmear of cream cheese. Maybe some smoked salmon thrown in for good measure. But how does St. Louis slice theirs?

Earlier this week, a man named Alek Krautmann decided to share a photo of bread-sliced bagels, calling it "the St. Louis secret of ordering bagels." Though Alek said that the bagels were a hit with his coworkers, Twitter was NOT having it. Krautmann's tweet has garnered more than 8,000 comments, many of which are expressing total outrage for the sliced bagel. Even Chrissy Teigen, the unofficial Mayor of Twitter herself, chimed in, encouraging her loyal followers to "vote NO on prop: slicingbagels."

I was born and raised in St. Louis, and until yesterday, I thought the bread-sliced bagels that my friends and I ordered at St. Louis Bread Co. (Panera, to all you haters) were...dare I say—normal?! It truly never occurred to me that NO ONE else anywhere ever ate their bagels this way.

Look, I would never support a true New York bagel being sliced this way. Would you bread-slice a bagel topped with lox, or a BEC? Absolutely not. But hear me out: Panera's bagels, though, are arguably more like bread than an actual bagel, anyway, so bread-slicing a bagel is actually somewhat of a bagel hack. Here's all the good it's bringing the world.

Have you ever tried eating a bagel with cream cheese (cut in half) on-the-go? Nearly impossible. The slices of bagel, though, are more snackable, and less aggressive to try to eat in the car, at your desk, in class, etc.

NO!!! It is not hard to eat a bagel, you idiots! And I’ve eaten plenty of them in my life! Bagels are delicious, especially prepared with the right cream cheese! They don’t need any additional help or new and innovative ways to eat them! Thank you, audience! And if you’re that concerned about getting cream cheese everywhere, maybe don’t put that much on it. So how is this dividing the country? As if we don’t need more division!

Man from St. Louis, Missouri: This is how we slice our bagels. Like a loaf of bread.

Twitter: No, thanks. Also, that is horrible. And here are some other terrible things you probably do in St. Louis.

That’s pretty much how it went down on Wednesday, and why St. Louis — and Panera — are trending on Twitter, in something Twitter Moments has dubbed “Bagelgate.”

It all started with that poor unfortunate soul who introduced the idea to an unsuspecting social media audience.

“Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced,” Alek Krautmann tweeted on Monday night, along with the offending photo. “It was a hit!”

In the picture, the bagels, purchased from Panera — which is known in St. Louis as Saint Louis Bread Company — were sliced from top to bottom and not on their sides, as if they were individual loaves of bread, with no regard to their ring shape.

Ah thanks, I needed that! Now of course, Twitter, in its’ usual fashion, is never one to rest on its’ laruels, and instead decided to show other ways that St. Louis could improve various foods. And even one of Trump’s favorite targets, Chuck Schumer, decided to weigh in on the controversy. He’s from New York, he should know the proper form of bagel consumption!

It was a St. Louis "secret" that struck revulsion in the hearts of many from bagel-proud cities like New York – bagels sliced like bread.

Now, social media users and even major brands are having a go at the city's unorthodox bagel treatment on Twitter, posting photos of foods prepared "St. Louis style."

The bagel slicing ordeal began on Monday when Twitter user Alek Krautmann tweeted a photo of two boxes of bagels sliced like bread that were purchased at Panera Bread. He pointed out that it creates more slices and more surface area for cream cheese. He wrote that the few remaining slices make nice bagel chips with hummus.

"Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit!" Krautmann tweeted.

However, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York wasn't buying it over the traditional horizontal slice. The Democrat tweeted, "St Louis, fuhgeddaboudit."

So we’ve got two bagels here – one prepared the right way, and one prepared the St. Louis way. Let’s try these. Dude, that’s not a bagel! It’s sliced fucking bread!!! I mean really they probably sell these at the grocery store as “bread chips”. Yeah you know the day old bag of them that you find next to the fresh made bread. With that in mind, what do actual New Yorkers think of this crime against food? Well, they think of it as a crime against food! Literally!

Alek Krautmann seemed to think he was doing the world a favor on Monday when he tweeted a photo of two boxes of bagels brutally cut in oblong slices. He had brought them from Panera Bread to share the "St Louis secret" of "bread sliced" bagels with his co-workers.

But to New Yorkers, Krautmann might as well have posted a picture of a crime scene or a horrific car crash. Some called the cursed image downright criminal.

"Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen," NYPD Chief of Detectives Dermot Shea said on Twitter.

City Councilman Robert Holden said his fellow lawmakers could even pass legislation to make such bagel mutliation a felony. One of his colleagues agreed.

"I believe this is a Class A felony in New York City. And if its not, it should be," tweeted Councilman Justin Brannan, a Brooklyn Democrat.

Some people tried to defend slicing a bagel vertically rather than the standard horizontal cut. The practice apparently comes from the St. Louis Bread Company, a Panera prescursor.

One person said bread-slicing is ideal for offices with lots of hungry workers. Another argued, "It's like turning your bagel into a chip and dipping it in cream cheese." (This may be unnecessary, as bagel chips already exist.)

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are at the end of Round 1! Last week as you know, Michigan routed Alaska to advance to play Wisconsin in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship. Meanwhile in the Gun Nut Conference, Florida hung on by a thread as Montana answered with 10 straight points but could not make that final basket in. What an utter defeat for Montana. This week it’s the final week of Round 1 as we head to the home of the Oregon Ducks, the Matthew Knight Arena! This week Georgia will battle Texas to take on the Batshit Conference championship and the winner will play Kentucky. While in the Family Values Conference, two longtime favorites – Ohio and Alabama, will duke it out to play Mississippi in the FVC championships! Let’s break out those brackets and follow along!


[font size="4"]Georgia Vs Texas[/font]

[font size="4"]Georgia[/font]

Georgia was one of the hottest teams in the NFFSA last year. Usually a last place offering in the Batshit Conference, the election between Stacy Abrams and Brian Kemp was the stuff of pure insanity and it still isn’t over even though Brian Kemp was declared the winner and he is already serving. Abrams may have moved on also, but it isn’t over without a fight. But not even a few months into his term, Kemp is already moving on to being investigated by a Georgia House committee! Yes, one of the craziest politicians that Georgia has elected in some time didn’t take long to make that claim of his overall craziness.

The House Oversight and Reform Committee is investigating allegations of voter suppression in Georgia under Secretary of State Brian Kemp, who has since become governor.

The investigation was revealed in letters that the committee’s Democratic leaders sent on Wednesday to Mr. Kemp and his successor as secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger. The letters instructed Mr. Kemp and Mr. Raffensperger — both Republicans — to provide by March 20 a wide range of documents concerning voter roll purges; holds placed on voter registration applications; polling site changes and closings; and other voting-related issues.

The committee also requested all documents related to the potential conflict of interest Mr. Kemp faced in administering an election in which he was a candidate.

“The Committee is particularly concerned by reports that Georgians faced unprecedented challenges with registering to vote and significant barriers to casting their votes during your tenure as secretary of state and during the 2018 election,” Representatives Elijah E. Cummings, the committee chairman, and Jamie Raskin, head of the Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, wrote to Mr. Kemp.

And they might need a few bad court thingys. And of course once he got to power what did he immediately do? Cater to the Christian right and anti-abortion extremists by signing an absolutely dangerous bill that will have long lasting implications!

Hollywood's elite are joining together to call on Republican governor Brian Kemp to veto Georgia's new anti-abortion heartbeat bill.

Georgia lawmakers approved the legislation, which bars women from abortion procedures if a "fetal heartbeat" is detected--something that can happen as early as six weeks into a pregnancy--on Friday. If enacted, the new law would reduce the amount of time a woman can legally have an abortion in the state by 14 weeks.

Responding to the bill, actress Alyssa Milano started a petition to urge Kemp to veto the bill otherwise she, and others, would not be able to work in Georgia "in good conscience."

Actors Don Cheadle, Debra Messing, Sean Penn and many more signed onto Milano's petition.

The Writers Guild of America also wrote a letter to Kemp, calling for a veto.

[font size="4"]Texas[/font]

Last year’s champion needs absolutely no introduction. The state that can manage to outcrazy Florida always never disappoints in this tournament. But this year injuries and trades have sidelined the champions. So what will it take to bounce back and claim the Batshit Conference title? Well a whole lot of pure, unaltered insanity including a botched voter purge. Yes, they can’t even purge voters correctly in the Lone Star State!

The U.S. House Committee on Oversight and Reform is investigating Texas' botched effort to purge suspected non-citizens from the voter rolls.

“We are disturbed by reports that the secretary of state’s office has taken steps to remove thousands of eligible American voters from the rolls in Texas and that your office received referrals for possible criminal prosecution based on flawed data about Texas voters,” U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings, a Democrat who chairs the committee, wrote Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton in a letter Thursday.

The committee is requesting a slew of documents from the Texas secretary of state’s office, including any correspondence with Trump administration officials and Paxton’s office. The letter notes the Congressional committee has broad power to investigate “any matter” at “any time.”

The secretary of state’s office didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment. In late January, the office announced it had identified nearly 100,000 suspected non-citizens on the state’s voter rolls. Paxton announced the news on Twitter with the proclamation “VOTER FRAUD ALERT.” President Donald Trump also chimed in, wrongly claiming that all 95,000 people on the list were “non-citizens registered to vote.”

Read more: https://www.mrt.com/news/local/politics/article/Congressional-Democrats-launch-investigation-into-13724240.php

That is true! And by the way, Texas Man might be the new Florida Man. But Texas Man can be way scarier than Florida Man in every way. While we view Florida Man as the funny, weird, quirky, bizarre, meth addicted personality that we’ve all come to know and love, Texas Man takes that and adds insanity and evil. Want proof? Alex Jones is from there. And this guy.

A Dallas spine surgeon accused of earning almost $5 million in bribes and kickbacks from Forest Park Medical Center told a jury he was "baffled" by the allegations and blamed his predicament on overzealous prosecutors and greedy hospital marketers.

Dr. Michael Rimlawi took the witness stand Thursday and Friday during the culmination of a six-week trial and told the jury that the co-marketing of hospitals and doctors is commonplace in the health care industry.

"I'm totally confused why I'm even here," he told jurors. "I never thought for one second it was illegal."

But prosecutors say he knowingly and illegally took the money -- $225,000 per month -- in exchange for bringing his surgeries to the now-defunct, doctor-owned hospital, which needed the expensive procedures to thrive.

Read more: https://www.dallasnews.com/news/crime/2019/03/29/surgeon-forest-park-kickback-trial-quarrels-prosecutor-guys-scare-witnesses

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Well this is another close game that is going to come down to the wire here! Current score is 65 – 63, with less than a minute to go. Here comes Texas, they shoot… they MISS!!! Oh my god, Texas misses the ball, and here comes Georgia with the rebound. They shoot… they’re in!!!! Georgia hits it just as the clock runs out. Final score 66 – 65, Texas is stunned, they will go home, Georgia moves on to face Kentucky!

[font size="4"]Ohio Vs Alabama[/font]

[font size="4"]Ohio[/font]

The Buckeye State needs no introduction. The state that gave us such universities as Dayton and The Ohio State (don’t you dare forget the “The”), Cincinatti, and Kent State, may be home to some of the most brilliant minds in the country. But there’s also a lot of expanse between the major cities in the Buckeye State. Which means that there’s a lot of rural towns. And with those rural towns comes lots of family values loving, Bible thumping insanity! So just how much does Ohio love its’ children? Well, not a whole lot as much as the love children that are still in the womb.

Overwhelmed by the surge of children who have parents consumed by drug addiction, Ohio’s system of protecting abused and neglected kids is facing a crisis of its own.

A spike in the number of children in foster care — many with more complex needs — along with inadequate funding and overburdened caseworkers, underscores the need for increased spending and reforms, according to a report released Friday by the Public Children Services Association of Ohio.

“We don’t have enough services to prevent kids from coming into care. Families are struggling to access mental-health services, crisis services, autism services at the local level — especially in their own home so kids don’t have to come into care,” said Angela Sausser, the association’s executive director.

“We have so many kids in care — with so many complex needs — that there’s not enough services and providers to address the needs.”

Read more: https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190329/ohio-child-welfare-system-in-crisis-advocates-say

Apparently, you don’t, so stop asking! So let’s explore Ohio hypocrisy here for a minute. They love children and their politicians run on that fact. Just ask Jim Jordan. What? Too soon? Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to go out on? Fine. But consider this – Ohio considers the fetus so human that they require a disposal of remains after passing. This is shockingly evil.

The Ohio Senate passed a bill Wednesday that would require the burial or cremation of fetal remains after a surgical abortion.

Under Senate Bill 27, which passed 24-7, people who violate the requirement would face a first-degree misdemeanor. Facilities that perform abortions, including workers at public hospitals, could be subject to the charges.

Women seeking abortions would have to express in writing, through a form the Ohio Department of Health develops, whether she wants the fetal remains to be buried or cremated. Minors seeking an abortion would first have to obtain consent from a parent, guardian or court. SB 27 states if a woman declines to “exercise the rights under the bill,” then the abortion facility would have to determine whether to cremate or bury the remains.

The pregnant woman wouldn’t be charged under the bill.

Read more: https://www.cleveland.com/open/2019/03/ohio-senate-passes-bill-to-require-burial-cremation-of-fetal-remains-after-abortion.html

[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]

Alabama is pure Trump country. They were one of the first states to plunk down all their electoral votes in the 2016 election and the politicians they’ve elected since then have been just absolutely batshit crazy and thumping the Bible harder than the other guy. Sure, they may have dodged a huge bullet by electing Doug Jones over Roy Moore but that’s just the beginning. Let’s put it this way, there’s no way that the Yellowhammer State is turning Blue anytime soon. Remember Ohio’s extreme anti-abortion law they passed earlier? Alabama is upping the ante!

Alabama could be the latest state to consider an abortion ban as supporters hope to spark legal challenges to revisit Roe v. Wade, the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion.

Rep. Terri Collins, a Republican from Decatur, said she plans to introduce legislation Tuesday that would make it a felony to perform an abortion in Alabama at any stage of pregnancy. The only exemption would be for the health of the mother.

“This bill just truly confronts Roe versus Wade and it criminalizes abortion,” Collins said. “To me this is an issue the court simply got wrong years ago.”

Collins and Eric Johnston, director of the Alabama Pro-Life Coalition, said the hope is to ignite a legal fight and eventually get the U.S. Supreme Court to revisit the 1973 decision that legalized abortion.

Read more: https://whnt.com/2019/03/30/alabama-lawmakers-seek-ban-on-almost-all-abortions/

Yes that did go south! But guess what? It seems that Alabama don’t care. In fact they don’t care so much that it’s affecting the entire state, and it’s going to affect it for the foreseeable future. Because while Trump is planning to do a huge reversal on America’s health care laws, it seems that Alabama will be one of the worst affected by it. So what can be done about it? Electing new people for one.

Sen. Doug Jones, D-Alabama, said Tuesday that Alabama would be one of the hardest-hit states if President Barack Obama’s 2010 health care law, the Affordable Care Act, is reversed by federal courts.

“If the courts dismantle this law, Alabama is one of the states with the most to lose,” Jones said. “It’s already a challenge for many Alabamians to access the health care they need, particularly in our rural communities.”

Jones’ comments come after President Donald Trump’s administration announced it would ask the federal courts to invalidate the Affordable Care Act. The Justice Department filed the notice to the court late Monday, which seeks to strike down the whole law including Medicaid expansion and protections for those with pre-existing conditions.

“Instead of making that even more difficult, we need to be focusing on making some much-needed improvements to our current system, like lowering the cost of prescription drugs, combating the opioid epidemic, increasing access to rural health care and finally expanding Medicaid in the state of Alabama,” Jones said. “The Administration is playing politics with health care and we have to stand up to protect folks from losing their coverage and the vital protections that the federal health law guarantees.”

Read more: https://www.alreporter.com/2019/03/27/jones-alabama-is-one-of-the-states-with-the-most-to-lose-if-health-care-law-is-reversed/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Sorry, Ohio, but Alabama owns this conference, and they have for the last 3 years! They handily hand Ohio their walking papers by routing them with a score of 15. Final score – 81 – 66. The Elite 8 is set people, it’s getting very exciting!!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

We begin round 2 play as we take an expanded look at the Gun Nut Conference – Florida Vs Oregon, the winner moves on to the Layover League championship, the loser goes home! We’re live in Reno at the home of the Wolfpack, the Lawlor Arena, for all the action! It’s getting very exciting!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]AFI[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen you know my next guest, you can see them on tour with Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds and the Smashing Pumpkins this July and August. Playing their song “Break Angels” from their new EP “The Missing Man”, give it up for AFI!

Thank you Washington DC! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We’re back in New York City next week! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St, Hollywood, CA
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Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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