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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up everyone? We’re stuck inside another week while this virus lingers throughout the atmosphere. But we’re making the most of it. And we also thank you for sticking with us in this trying time. We do have plans to come back better than ever during the 9th season when we will be taking a look at Joe Biden’s road to the White House. Yeah how exciting is that? This could be our first real shot at taking down Trump. I cannot wait until that happens. Do we have time for the thing? First off today is national superhero day – who is your favorite superhero? I know my answer would easily be Iron Man, though I would take a page for the Incredible Hulk and Bruce Banner. Then you got to add Dr. Strange, Captain America, Thor, the whole Avengers lineup really. Of course with the new Black Widow movie being delayed for obvious reasons, we will have to wait to get some female superheroes. But I also can’t wait for Wonder Woman 1984 in August, that should hopefully breathe some life into the dismal and non-existent box office ratings. I do remember that we used to have these things called movie theaters where you would pay money to go watch a movie on a really large screen with a really awesome sound system and you would . I can’t wait to get those back. Argh, life under quarantine sucks balls. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Bill Maher is back and he outlines the grim conditions we treat our food supply with that gave us COVID:

Well another week, another home show for the time being. So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is of course Donald J. Trump (1) and just when you thought he couldn’t possibly get any dumber, he recommends that people go out and inject bleach and inhale Lysol to cure the virus because, reasons. In the number 2 slot this week is Mitch McConnell (2) and he is essentially taking the culture war up a notch and telling blue states to go fuck themselves and declare bankruptcy, despite that blue states are working with red states. In the number 3 slot this week we’re going to do our due diligence on when the economy should reopen. There’s many sides to this debate and well, we have no clear answer because right now the virus is in charge. And unless it goes anywhere, we’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future. Taking the fourth slot this week, is Donald Trump Supporters (4) and in a time when it’s absolutely critical to listen to science and experts, they want to do the opposite and flat out fire Dr. Fauci. Yeah they’re insane. Taking the fifth slot this week, is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at vaccines for the coronavirus and what you can expect as they get deployed. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is going to look at the brewing Holy War on Social Distancing. Really, religion is going to make this thing that much worse. At slot #7 – is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” and why are we over celebrities? This is a weird phenomenon trending on social media, but nobody knows where it originated from, and we will get to the bottom of it! Taking the 8th slot this week – we add Georgia’s governor Brian Kemp (8) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and we have a lot of those lately! For the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new I Need A Drink, and this week we’re having some drinks and discussing how the hell someone swiped a rare Van Gogh painting while the whole country of France is in lockdown! Yes, that happened! Finally this week, we have Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2! This week it’s a Family Values faceoff as #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for a spot to play Florida in the Final Four! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Mark it down: 4/23/20. That is the day that the President Of The United States, in his trying and infinite wisdom, simply stopped giving a flying fuck. See, we at the Top 10 have been tracking Trump’s exploits since he first wormed his way down that golden escalator way back in 2015, which by today’s standards, literally seems like an eternity ago. Remember civilization? I miss those times. But last week, he crossed the line and just stopped caring about us. Remember that in November, kids. Want a president who will be at your side? Vote Biden. Want a president who will bring about the apocalypse and then not give a shit about you? Then vote Trump. Because here’s what you get with a Donald J. Trump presidency as opposed to a president who actually listens to experts.

Presented with incontrovertible evidence that Donald Trump is stupid and clueless and that the American people should not follow his advice, reporters and editors in America's top newsrooms averted their eyes.

Home delivery subscribers to the Washington Post, for instance, wouldn't have a clue that Trump on Thursday evening proposed injecting patients with disinfectants to see if they would kill the coronavirus in lungs, as they do on the kitchen counter. There was no mention of it in the print edition.

Yes, Trump actually asked, after hearing a presentation on how bleach and rubbing alcohol can kill the virus on surfaces: "Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because, you see, it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that."

Is there a stupider, more dangerous thing he could possibly say? Could he possibly give a clearer indication that he is manifestly unfit to lead the nation during a public health crisis? Small children know better than this.

Yes, poison control is higher than number one! But really we have a president who’s a fucking sitcom character. He is the kind of character who’s the annoying neighbor who is constantly looking for his next get rich quick scheme, and then when said scheme backfires on him, he desperately wants to get a “get out of jail free” card. And that’s what this is. But like all things that happen, actions have consequences.

Illinois Poison Control has seen an uptick in calls since President Donald Trump questioned if injecting disinfectant could cure coronavirus.

Dr. Nogzi Ezike, head of the Illinois Department of Public Health, warned people not to try to use cleaning products on or in their bodies to fight coronavirus. She also said Illinois Poison Control has gotten more callers after Trump’s Thursday comments.

“Injecting, ingesting, snorting household cleaners is dangerous. It is not advised and can be deadly,” Ezike said during a Saturday press conference. “In the past two days, there’s been a significant increase in calls to the Illinois Poison Center compared to the same time last year.”

The governor’s office did not immediately provide numbers showing how large an uptick there has been.

Yeah exactly Trump is Newman in this case! His scheme to peddle hydroxychloroquine is backfiring on him, now he’s suggesting that people simply drink bleach. And never mind that bleach packages have giant warning labels on them, and Rob Gronkowski did a commercial to remind people not to eat Tide Pods (see: Top 10 #4-2). But no, we have a president who is telling people to drink bleach.

A talk radio caller suggested vaping bleach as a possible treatment for coronavirus, and conservative host Jeff Kuhner assured him the recommendation wasn’t crazy.

The caller, who identified himself as Zack from Stoughton, called into Boston’s WRKO-AM on Friday morning to talk about President Donald Trump’s dangerous suggestion to use disinfectants or powerful light internally to treat COVID-19.

“I’ve been thinking about this thing,” Zack began. “I was a smoker for years, I smoked about three packs a day, and I never liked this new vape thing coming out with the nicotine in it, but I also have a bunch of friends with big cleaning companies.”

After hearing an ad on Kuhner’s program offering a disinfecting service during the pandemic, Zack said he started connecting the dots and wondered whether vape pens could deliver bleach and other disinfecting chemicals into infected lungs.


Seriously, we went from curing polio and exploring the moon to telling people that they shouldn't drink bleach. And after realizing tha Trump is our president and he's spouting this nonsense, it occurred to me, this is why we don't get nice things. That is a huge drop off in the ever ongoing sad state of humanity in 2020. At least this has been good for some cheap laughs, and god knows we need more of that in society to get us through this thing. Even Snoop Dogg is having some laughs at Trump’s expense, and at this point, I’d much rather have Snoop in charge!

Rapper Snoop Dogg shared a depiction of President Donald Trump drinking bleach on Instagram, following the president's suggestion that maybe disinfectant may be used to treat the virus, via injection.

During a press briefing on Thursday, Trump suggested that ultraviolet light or disinfectant maybe used to treat COVID-19. "And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning?" he said, according to BBC. "So it'd be interesting to check that."

Snoop was one of many people to show his skepticism for the disinfectant treatment. The image Snoop shared showed Trump pouring a giant bottle of Clorox right into his mouth. He said that he thought if Trump or his supporters tried it first, maybe then he'd give it a shot. "Aight u go first then ya voters and I'll be here waiting to c [sic] how y'all feel before I go under my kitchen sink for some bleach," he wrote in the caption.

Granted, Trump did qualify his statement by saying that he wasn't a doctor. "I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what," he said.

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[font size="8"]Restarting The Economy
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It’s no secret that the coronavirus has just annihilated our way of life. Business has grinded to a halt, as has all domestic and international travel. There’s no events of any kind being held. There’s no school, people can’t return to their jobs safely. Retail, construction, and restaurants are feeling the pain of the virus. People are getting restless and stir crazy not being able to leave their houses. So what do you do? How do you reopen the economy? Let’s use the model from the magazine of choice from my youth – Highlights For Children. Most particularly the comic strip Goofus and Gallant. There’s the Gallant way of reopening the economy – doing things the smart and safe way. And then there’s the Goofus way – doing things reactionary and stupidly. Considering the way things are going, we have way more Goofuses than Gallants in this country.

Today California governor Gavin Newsom and Department of Public Health leader Dr. Sonia Angell outlined a broad plan to reopen the state’s economy, including the limited reintroduction of in-room dining for restaurants and other openings for non-essential businesses like manufacturing, childcare facilities, retail, and even gyms and hair salons. Newsom continued to decline to give an official reopening date, but noted that “we believe we are weeks, not months away, from making meaningful modifications” to the state’s stay-at-home directive.

Newsom outlined four broad phases that California is working through during the current coronavirus pandemic, saying that the current lockdown represents phase one. “As we move into phase two, where businesses can begin to reopen,” Newsom said, “we need to make sure that guidance is abided by, and is organized in a very deliberate way.”

Phase two includes lower-risk spaces like restaurants and retail, which could be modified for more consistent curbside pickups and limited physical interactions. As for schools, Newsom said that the state is considering moving up the fall 2020 school year to “July or early August,” with restaurants and retail expected to reopen before that.

It remains crucial to “make the essential workforce environment as safe as possible” for both customers and employees before an official reopening rollout, said Dr. Angell, though she did note some “cautious optimism” with the current flattening of the curve statewide. Part of that safety included the continued practice of physical distancing, wearing face masks, and wage security for those employees who fall ill while still employed.

So that’s how Gallant does things – and we’ve even had two more states join our coalition. In fact multiple states are making pacts out there since nobody can rely on the guy who we call president to get any jobs done. While we’re waiting for the worst of this virus to subside, it will be interesting to see how things slowly get back to normal. But we won’t be jumping in the deep end just yet. It will be a gradual progression.

Colorado and Nevada on Monday became the latest states to join California, Oregon and Washington in the Western States Pact, a working group of Western state governors that will coordinate how to reopen from the stay-at-home orders each has issued to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.

"There's no silver bullet that will solve this pandemic until there is a cure, so we must have a multifaceted and bold approach in order to slow the spread of the virus, to keep our people safe and help our economy rebound," Colorado Gov. Jared Polis, a Democrat, said in a statement on Monday.

Nevada Democratic Gov. Steve Sisolak echoed that message, saying he "believe(s) the sharing of critical information and best practices on how to mitigate the spread, protect the health and safety of our residents and reopen responsibly will be invaluable as we chart our paths forward."

The inclusion of Colorado and Nevada in the Western States Pact bolsters the collaborative approach to reopening embraced by Democratic governors across the country.

This is how Gallant does things. We all want things to get back to normal. We all want to get back to the plans we had before this nightmare pandemic happened. I get it, we all get it! Now let’s see how Goofus does things. If anything this is going to have more of a long term effect than if we just stayed put. Hey, the sooner we get rid of this awful POS virus the better. But don’t do what Goofus does.

Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said during an interview Tuesday that Governor Brian Kemp's decision to reopen businesses was "dangerously incompetent and deeply callous."

Citing the right-to-work nature of employment throughout the state, Abrams said during the interview, conducted by former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, that low-wage workers in particular would risk forfeiting their jobs if they passed up opportunities to resume work during the coronavirus outbreak.

"We're telling the most vulnerable people in our society, 'You can either work or you can lose your life,'" said Abrams, a Democrat. "We are putting them at risk, and we're putting their families at risk."

Last week, Georgia became the first state to begin lifting widespread restrictions imposed during the pandemic. Tattoo parlors, gyms, bowling alleys and salons were permitted to reopen last Friday, and movie theaters were allowed to reopen Monday. Although restaurants could also begin serving dine-in patrons this week, more than 120 around the state have said they don't plan to resume dine-in operations just yet.

See Georgia??? You could have had Stacy Abrams as your governor and she would keep your safety in mind, but no, you had to go and elect the jackass. Because by not listening to experts, here’s what you are going to get. Rather than completely flattening this curve, you’re going to keep it going for the next several months, possibly years. So yeah don’t be like Goofus.

As some Southeastern US states start to reopen, Georgia is projected to see its number of daily Covid-19 deaths nearly double by early August, according to a model shared by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and created by independent researcher Youyang Gu.

The epidemiological model, which provides projections for 40 countries and every US state, has been included among the seven models CDC highlights on its website for Covid-19 forecasting.

Gu said Tuesday that his model is based on an epidemiological methodology called SEIS, which stands for susceptible, exposed, infectious, susceptible modeling.

"We use a very classic epidemiologic model," Gu said, adding that his model is updated daily and he is concerned other models are under-projecting deaths.

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[font size="8"]The War On Experts
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Welcome to an America that’s under far right religious conservative control. Experts in their respective fields do not need application. We don’t need no stinking public health experts or doctors to guide us out of a pandemic. We need prayer warriors and the MyPillow guy. Never mind that places like New Zealand or Germany or South Korea – which are led by people who know things like science, are close to having this beast fully contained. But oh no, not here in the States. Here in the US, you can be a breeder of Labradoodles one day and then be the US pandemic expert the next. I believe this is the concept known as “failing upward”.

(CNN)A former Labradoodle breeder, an internet thug and a college senior walk into the White House.

This may sound like the set-up of a joke. During the pandemic, however, with the US death toll passing 50,000, these actual administration officials are a grim reminder that we shouldn't expect much from the Trump administration.

Any remaining hope of competency within the Trump administration may have been dashed on Thursday when President Donald Trump mused about using sunlight or injections of disinfectant as Covid-19 treatments (DO NOT DO THIS).

While Dr. Deborah Birx, the coronavirus response coordinator, did shoot down Trump's bizarre ideas during the news conference, other members of the Trump team have not inspired much confidence.
Brian Harrison, who serves as the chief of staff to Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, was tasked with handling the department's virus response in January.

Hey maybe the repo men will get jobs as Trump’s new commerce secretary! Gee is it any wonder why we’re fucked for the foreseeable future? If we had competent leadership, imagine what we could accomplish in our war on this horrible virus! So let’s explore this clusterfuck for a minute. In America – unqualified professionals can get qualified for extremely dangerous jobs, like sheriffs could be used car salesman, or drive thru laborers can be coroners. That’s how this happened.

The unfortunate thing about the Trump administration, beyond the nepotism, incompetence, mass corruption, idiot kids, white nationalism, wholesale assault on the concept of truth, and pure evil, is that oftentimes it’s beyond parody. For instance, we already knew the federal government’s response to the coronavirus crisis has been catastrophically bad, from the months of insisting the virus was fake news, to a criminal lack of early—and current!—testing, to listening to Dr. Jared Kushner’s advice on the matter, to pushing for a dangerously premature reopening of the country. But despite everything we know, it would just be too much to learn that, at one point, a dog breeder was running the administration’s coronavirus task force. And yet!

Reuters reports the nearly impossible-to-believe news that back in January, Health and Human Services secretary Alex Azar “tapped a trusted aide with minimal public health experience to lead the agency’s day-to-day response to COVID-19.” The aide was Brian Harrison, 37, and the move was somewhat surprising, given that prior to joining the administration in 2018 as Azar’s deputy chief of staff, he spent six years running a company called Dallas Labradoodles, which is not, in fact, some kind of code name for a firm doing cutting-edge medical research or developing vaccines or doing anything remotely related to humans. Instead, Dallas Labradoodles, which Harrison sold for $225,000 in April 2018, pretty much does exactly what you’d expect: sells Australian Labradoodles, which are a cross between poodles and Labrador retrievers. Which are actually quite cute dogs! They are supposedly “friendly, social, loyal, loving, smart, curious, and happy”! Which is nice for the people adopting them, though less helpful vis-à-vis the pandemic that has killed more than 47,000 Americans to date and infected over 850,000! Funny how that works!

Except that it’s really not that impossible. This is America, we are a land of fuck ups! And we’ve been that land of fuck ups since 1980, even more so going into 2020! Yeah sure, we had some bright spots here and there, but the fact remains that we really fucked up on this one. And by we, I mean the Trump administration, he has a history of hiring shitty experts. Shit, even Mitch McConnell thinks this is a bad idea!

Even Mitch McConnell seems to think it'd be wise for President Trump to scale back his time behind the White House podium. The Senate majority leader said Monday that it would "probably be a good idea" to focus coronavirus briefings on public health experts, rather than the president, whose fact-challenged scientific claims often steal the spotlight.

Fox News Radio's Guy Benson asked McConnell if it would be "wise" for the White House's coronavirus briefings to be shortened, or to not have the president show up every day.

"Well, certainly what the American people are most interested in is the advice from health professionals about how to conduct their daily lives safely," McConnell, a Kentucky Republican, told Fox News Radio. "To the extent that the White House decides to re-craft those briefings to reflect that goal — would probably be a good idea."

Trump, you’re a leader! It is your job to lead! You’re here for us, we are not here for you! And leaders are supposed to lead by listening to people that know shit! They don’t listen to a guy who hawks ridiculously cheap pillows on late night infomercials! So why is any medical or public health professional putting up with his bullshit?

Does President Donald Trump not know that people will believe him when he speaks from the White House podium? Does he not care?

He has made clear, again, that he either doesn't understand the concept of science or doesn't care about it. Both options are bad.

He's the President. That's not changing for at least nine months, and maybe not for another four years. But now he's making up medicine (see below).

Even if you can believe his attempt to say his bad medicine was actually sarcasm (but, really, you shouldn't), let's all agree the time for sarcasm ended sometime around the time the pandemic happened.

Should all the capable doctors around him resign? He has, at times, listened to them. He criticized the reopening of Georgia earlier this week after a talking-to by Dr. Deborah Birx.

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[font size="8"]Firing Fauci
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We’re battling two pandemics right now. The first pandemic of course is the dreaded COVID-19 disease that is currently plaguing the landscape. The second pandemic is rampant insanity with an added dose of stupidity! We really are living in Idiocracy right now, and that movie isn’t supposed to be a documentary, either. Do you really try to fire and point fingers at the one guy who’s trying to help save your life? Well, in this upside down Trump world that we are living in, the answer to that question is most easily yes. Because in the minds of the Trumpers, everything is upside down and inside out. Bad is good, night is day, and so on. In fact here’s how this is shaping up right now.

Dr. Francis Collins, director of the National Institutes of Health, said in an interview published Tuesday he was not pressured to fire Dr. Anthony Fauci after President Donald Trump retweeted a message earlier this month calling for the ouster of America’s top infectious disease expert.

Asked by the health news website Stat whether he was concerned he would have to make an “impossible decision” in the aftermath of the president’s social media post, Collins maintained he was never worried he would be forced to remove Fauci as director of NIH’s National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases — a position Fauci has held for more than three decades.

“I didn’t actually think that was likely to happen, so no, I don’t think I was worried. And certainly nobody reached out to me at that point,” Collins said, adding that he and Fauci speak by phone every evening. “I don’t think we ever talked about that tweet.”

In recent months, Fauci has become one of the most widely recognized and respected faces of the federal government’s management of the novel coronavirus. His even-keeled, data-focused response to the pandemic has even fostered an ardent fan base, with calls for the 79-year-old immunologist to be named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” or awarded a Nobel Prize.

No, no one is getting fired just yet. But really this is getting to be quite ridiculous. And as we’ve repeatedly said on this program is that Trump is a guy whose bad side you do not want to get on, by any stretch of the imagination. His ass likes getting kissed, like any good mobster, and he will let you know it or not know it.

Asked Monday while appearing on ABC's Good Morning America about protests popping up around the country against local stay-at-home measures, Dr. Anthony Fauci warned such demonstrations may "backfire."

“I think the message is that, clearly, this is something that is hurting from the standpoint of economics, from the standpoint of things that have nothing to do with the virus,” Fauci replied. “But, unless we get the virus under control, the real recovery, economically, is not gonna happen.”

He continued, “If you jump the gun and go into a situation where you have a big spike, you’re gonna set yourself back. So as painful as it is to go by the careful guidelines of gradually phasing into a reopening, it’s going to backfire. That’s the problem.”

Multiple rallies organized through social media have been cropping up last week, and more are planned for this week, deploying thousands of protesters. They all had a common message to governors: relax the strict stay-at-home orders deployed to combat COVID-19.

Don’t you know that it’s a bad idea to listen to social media protestors? They’ve given us nothing but bad things like the anti-vaccination movement and the Flat Earth Society. These are people who you should not listen to! And don’t listen to their attempts to fire Dr. Fauci – there’s no reason for that under any circumstances. Don’t fire the one guy who’s trying to help! But does Trump even really have the power to do this?

Congress can prevent this: It ought to pass a law stipulating that directors of the centers and research institutes that are part of the National Institutes of Health—officials like Fauci—should be removable only for malfeasance, neglect of office, or incapacity, but not for mere policy differences or politically inconvenient messaging. Similar protections exist for the heads of numerous independent agencies, such as the Federal Trade Commission and Social Security Administration. These protections prevent presidential politics from excessively influencing an administrator’s performance.

As it happens, the Supreme Court is supposed to decide a case this term that could make it more difficult for Congress to limit when the president may discharge executive-branch officials to cases of “good cause.” At least since the Reagan administration, opponents of independent agencies have insisted that such restrictions impinge on the executive power vested in the president by Article II of the Constitution. The current dispute focuses on the director of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau.

Advocates of what’s known as “unitary-executive theory” insist that presidents have constitutionally guaranteed authority to fire all executive officers at will and to command them in how they make policy. Heretofore, the Supreme Court has consistently rejected that argument. The majority of our executive-indulgent Court, however, now likely subscribes to that theory, no matter how grounded in myth it may be. The question is to what degree that majority will consider itself bound by precedent not to destabilize the long list of agencies, including the Federal Reserve System, whose directors are insulated from at-will dismissal.

Yeah but do you really have the hiring and firing power? No? Well Trump doesn’t either. And if you were to do a ven diagram of people who are anti-vaxxers and people who are Trump supporters, well, you’d get a pretty good cross section. As I said, don’t listen to the people who are claiming to Fire Fauci. And quite frankly, don’t listen to Dr. Trump either. This is just what Dr. Trump ordered.

Several dozen people, including anti-vaccine advocates, gathered outside the Capitol building on Saturday in Austin, Texas to protest their state's lockdown policy as the coronavirus continues its spread across the country.

Austin's "You Can't Close America" protest, which featured many signs supportive of President Donald Trump, attracted so-called anti-vaxxers, who propagate disproven conspiracy theories about the alleged dangers of vaccines.

One such protester, who attended the rally with her 7-year-old daughter, told The New York Times she's "not worried about catching the virus" and added that if she or her family did, "I feel that we're healthy enough to fight it."

She held a sign reading, "Make Texas great again! Please open everything!" and her daughter held one reading, "Bill Gates can keep his poison — I'm homeschooled! No mandatory vaccines!!"

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Vaccine
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

It’s been 2 months since the coronavirus exploded into a global pandemic. Now the question that’s on everyone’s minds is what is it going to take to cure this thing so we can all get back to our lives the way they were before the pandemic? It’s going to take a global effort to end a global pandemic and that is for absolute certain. But what can happen between now and the time the vaccine is developed? There are currently 78 vaccine projects around the world beginning trials in various phases, with another 37 in development. Not to mention over 100 drugs designed to treat the dreaded coronavirus. But how would such a vaccine work? And what are the ramifications of getting one out in such a short length of time before we have enough time to find out how the world would react to it? Well here’s how it works.

When a new H1N1 influenza virus, known as swine flu, caused a pandemic in 2009, “there was an alarm bell because this was a brand-new H1N1,” Cowling says, and it was very similar to the 1918 killer. Swine flu proved less severe than feared. In part, Krammer says, “we were lucky because the pathogenicity of the virus wasn’t very high.” But another important reason was that six months after the virus appeared, scientists developed a vaccine for it.

Unlike measles or smallpox vaccines, which can confer long-term immunity, flu vaccines offer only a few years of protection. Influenza viruses are slippery, mutating rapidly to escape immunity. As a result, the vaccines must be updated every year and given regularly. But during a pandemic, even a short-term vaccine is a boon. The 2009 vaccine helped to temper a second wave of cases in the winter. As a result, the virus much more rapidly went the way of the 1918 virus, becoming a widely circulating seasonal flu, from which many people are now protected either by flu shots or by antibodies from a previous infection.

Projections about how COVID-19 will play out are speculative, but the end game will most likely involve a mix of everything that checked past pandemics: Continued social-control measures to buy time, new antiviral medications to ease symptoms, and a vaccine. The exact formula—how long control measures such as social distancing must stay in place, for instance—depends in large part on how strictly people obey restrictions and how effectively governments respond. For example, containment measures that worked for COVID-19 in places such as Hong Kong and South Korea came far too late in Europe and the U.S. “The question of how the pandemic plays out is at least 50 percent social and political,” Cobey says.

Unfortunately we wont be in the endgame for quite some time. As some have stated we are in the end of the beginning of this trial, there’s still the middle and end of this thing that we have to fight. However, one vaccine in particular is gaining a lot of traction and global attention. That vaccine is being developed at the University Of Oxford in England.

Six monkeys given a vaccine developed by the University of Oxford are said to be coronavirus-free 28 days after sustained exposure to the virus.

The result is a promising early sign for the vaccine, which is also undergoing human trials. A working human version, however, remains months away even in the best-case scenario.

The monkey experiment was carried out in late March by government scientists at the Rocky Mountain Laboratory in Hamilton, Montana, The New York Times reported Monday.

Six rhesus macaques received a vaccine produced by the Jenner Institute and the Oxford Vaccine Group. They were then exposed to heavy levels of the coronavirus that were known to have previously sickened other monkeys. These monkeys suffered no ill effects, however, and remained healthy at least 28 days later, The Times said.

Ah if only we could be as lucky as Mr. Burns! But sadly we are not until we find the vaccine for Coronavirus. So while we had the space race in the 60s and the Cold War in the 80s, the 20s have become a war to find a vaccine for a killer virus that is having some severe consequences on how humanity operates. So how does the vaccine work? There’s a whole variety of different vaccines in production but it will take just one that works.

Moderna Inc. MRNA, +1.43% said late Monday its candidate for a coronavirus vaccine will get to be evaluated further. The biotech company said it has submitted a new-drug application with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to evaluate the vaccine candidate, mRNA-1273, in a more extensive study if supported by safety data from an initial study. The phase 2 study is expected to begin in the second quarter, Moderna said. That will evaluate the safety and any adverse reactions and immune responses of two mRNA-1273 vaccinations given 28 days apart, the company said. Each person participating in the study will be assigned to receive a placebo or different doses of the vaccine candidate, Moderna said. The plan is to enroll 600 healthy adults and older adults in two cohorts, Participants will be followed through 12 months after the second vaccination, Moderna said. "Submitting this (investigative new-drug application) is an important next step in the clinical development of our mRNA vaccine against SARS-CoV-2, and we are moving rapidly to potentially address this global health emergency," Moderna's Chief Medical Officer Tal Zaks said in a statement. A third phase could begin in the fall of 2020, the company said. Moderna is one ofnearly two dozen U.S. companies working on a vaccine against COVID-19 as the disease has killed more than 200,000 worldwide.

So while Oxford is leading the charge overseas, companies like Moderna and Johnson and Johnson are leading the charge at home in the USA. But while the news is currently grim, there is a lot of hope for those stemming for a vaccine before the end of the year. The Oxford vaccine continues to be the most promising as it has been developed by people who have experience in this sort of thing. But what does the future hold for this? Only time will tell.

A group of scientists at Oxford University have already begun clinical trials for a coronavirus vaccine, which could be ready by the fall.

Around 1,1000 people so far, who are between the ages of 18 and 55 and have not tested positive for COVID-19, have been enrolled in the trial, which began on April 23.

The study “aims to assess whether healthy people can be protected from COVID-19 with this new vaccine called ChAdOx1 nCoV-19,” according to a press release. The vaccination is made from a “weakened version of a common cold virus,” which affects chimpanzees but “has been genetically changed so that it is impossible for it to grow in humans.”

Researchers hope that after being given the vaccine, the body will be able to “recognize and develop an immune response” to the virus, which will help prevent infection.

So far, vaccines made from the weakened virus “have been given to more than 320 people…and have been shown to be safe” with minimal side effects.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s no secret that our brothers and sisters on the right are preferring the politics and policies of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, even if it is online only for the time being! But they seem to be turning this war against the PLAGUE into a holy war! Because why not? What’s a war without some good old fashioned fire and brimstone religion injected into it? Even if the war we are fighting is against an invisible enemy? Well certain groups are going all out in their propaganda machines! Because then you hear crazy shit like this:

Religious-right supporters of President Donald Trump have been adding their voices to the right-wing protests calling on governors to “reopen” states by easing restrictions on businesses and public gatherings, while deflecting responsibility for the spread of the virus and the economic consequences away from Trump. Christian nationalist political operative David Lane joined the fray in over the weekend in a column for Charisma decrying “unelected government bureaucrats, selected ‘experts,’ doomsday soothsayers, computer models and a frenzied media” for what he characterized as “overreach” in response to the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Lane devoted much of his column to reprinting something written April 18 by Steve Riggle, a Houston, Texas-based pastor. Unlike many of the right-wing protests, which initially targeted Democratic governors, Riggle had harsh words for the very conservative governor of Texas, Greg Abbott:

Liberate Texas now. Time to reopen Texas. We have been patient, even though every projection of the impact of the coronavirus has been grossly wrong. We were told to flatten the curve because there was no cure, even though a very small number actually die from the virus in comparison with the population and other diseases and causes of death we live with on a daily basis. Now, over 22,000,000 people have lost their jobs in one month … and there is more economic fallout to follow [for example, 43% can’t afford to go more than one month without a paycheck, and 24% have less than $250 in their bank accounts preceding payday.] In our county, in the same time period, we had five coronavirus-related deaths and 15 suicides.

That is correct, these people need JAYSUS! And leave it to the religious right to ruin this for everyone, much like they’ve ruined pretty much everything since the dawn of time. But do we really need the uber right wing religious groups to be in charge of this pandemic? Of course the Dark One would listen to these people, never mind things like facts and science. But if we let these people get the best of us, these are the kinds of policies we will get to fight this thing.

The American Family Association, like Liberty Counsel and other religious-right groups, is portraying the enforcement of social distancing requirements as a threat to religious liberty. “Don’t let the coronavirus turn America into China,” blared an AFA press release distributed Friday. AFA called it “extremely troubling” that some state and local officials have imposed restrictions on public gatherings “that trample religious liberty underfoot.”

AFA sent an action alert to its members last week with a similar message. AFA recognizes that temporary, “evenly applied” public health restrictions “may be permissible,” but said it is “blatantly unconstitutional” for officials to prohibit churches from holding drive-in services “while allowing liquor stores, restaurants, and others to offer drive-in or curbside services.” State and local officials have taken differing approaches to drive-in worship gatherings.

AFA is encouraging activists to tell their governors, “Extraordinary state actions prohibiting the peaceful gathering of American citizens to exercise their religion violate the U.S. Constitution and are not permissible … I want to encourage you stand ready to defend the peaceful gathering of our state’s citizens should their right to do so be infringed upon by any government official or police.”

Some prominent religious-right figures initially resisted and defied social distancing requirements and restrictions on public gatherings, with pastors mocking congregants who stayed home out of fear of the virus, calling other pastors who complied with guidelines “losers,” and suggesting that people who didn’t show up at church and shake hands were “pansies.” But most churches seem to have decided to abide by state and local requirements, with many moving services online.

Of course it’s the secular progressive’s fault because we’re not embracing the LAWRD almighty! But that’s where my church comes in! And that brings in the question – who do you place the blame on this horrible atrocity for? Well now if you listened to E.W. Jackson, he places the blame for this squarely at China and there can be no debate on this one! Yeah really, this is why people are getting harassed right now, and well, Brother Jackson be shamed!!

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” radio program yesterday that anyone who doesn’t blame China for the COVID-19 pandemic should be investigated for treason.

Jackson was urging the lifting of social distancing guidelines and the “reopening” of America so those who are not in at-risk groups have “an opportunity to develop the antibodies [and] just let their bodies do what our bodies are designed by Almighty God to do, which is to resist illness, to resist disease.”

“You know what? God built in a vaccine for us,” Jackson said. “And we ought to be letting that take its work.”

Jackson then lashed out at Bill Gates, who recently said that efforts to blame the pandemic on China are “a distraction.”

“Let me be succinct and to the point,” Jackson said. “Anybody, after seeing the carnage this thing has wrought on our country and on the world, anybody who leaps to the defense of communist China should be investigated and perhaps charged and tried for treason. I know that may sound harsh, folks, but I’m serious.”

So Brother Jackson is leading a holy crusade against China and you never want to see anyone use that phrase for anything, because it’s worked out so well in past history hasn’t it? But the venerable holy war against COVID and social distancing has been proving to be, well, as toxic as the virus itself. In fact, we do not need their endorsement of the unholy Dark One as proof of this! I cannot allow it, good sirs and madams!!

James Goll, a self-proclaimed prophet and intercessor, did a livestream Saturday with Christian broadcaster Sid Roth, during which he claimed that he had been told by the Holy Spirit that President Donald Trump will win reelection and become “a great praying president” during his second term in office, usherin in the next Great Awakening.

“I believe it is the will of the Lord for President Trump to be reelected for a long-term reason if Jesus tarries any at all,” Goll proclaimed. “It is to turn this nation for lineage and legacy unto—this was the exact phrase the Holy Spirit gave me—to true constitutional conservatism. So I believe it’s God’s will for him to be reelected.”

Goll said that when he was visiting the Roland Reagan Presidential Library in 2019, the Holy Spirit spoke to him about Trump and what his reelection will mean for America’s future.

“He spoke something to me about later, in the middle of a second term,” Goll said. “He will become, Lord willing, in the middle of the second term, he will—there will be such an apprehension of God in his life that he won’t only have gone in by praying, he will be a great praying president who God will move on his heart, and he will be a part of welcoming in the Great Awakening.”

You know there will be a Great Awakening when this is all over, but it will hopefully be without your people ruining it! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Your Favorite Celebrity Is Over
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Can you really be over your favorite celebrity? Well there’s plenty of reasons why you should, and also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. What makes this even weirder is that these celebrities who are “over” are being cherry picked and for ridiculously crazy reasons. But what you might not know is that the forces that are driving these social media trends aren’t. Like all bad things, this trend got hijacked by bots pushing Korean pop videos and trying to downplay American culture. But what you might not know is where this originated from. This entire thing started when Nicki Minaj decided to ditch her record label and hold an “Atlantic Records Is Over” party.

They really didn't have to snap this hard - or did they?

Fans of Nicki Minaj put Atlantic Records on blast over the weekend when they accused the music giant of misconduct against their artists - again. While the origins of Saturday's resurfaced shambles are still questionable, it was definitely the Barbz that made #AtlanticRecordsOverParty the number-one trending topic in the entertainment category.

Atlantic, a subsidiary of Warner, planted its deep roots in jazz almost over 70 years ago with the likes of Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and Otis Redding - so, this might be THE longest trail we've ever been down, it's absolutely littered with similar allegations.

We can't find any other outlets covering Minaj's indirectly-direct relationship to this newest edition of #AtlanticRecordsIsOverParty (or even the topic in general). What we did find was a bit of the backstory.

It's still a little funny to see Minaj's name credited with that of Cardi B's in the same song title. After their 2017 collab with MotorSport, Cardi told a UK press outlet that Minaj's original verse was "not the verse that is out there right now." Hearing this, Minaj called Cardi out for not telling the whole story.

God can you imagine what would happen if Nicki Minaj and Cardi B got together in the same room? I can imagine there will be lots of yelling and bling comparisons, followed by which tiny purse dog is better than the other one. Now you would think this hashtag would end there. But oh no, just like a certain virus, it spread. And it spread to a whole bunch of different celebrities. Like Demi Lovato for instance!

It seems like there have been multiple attempts to "cancel" Demi Lovato, and the latest "Demi Lovato is Over Party" broke out over recent comments the singer made regarding Selena Gomez on a private Instagram account.

Previously, Demi was "canceled" by everyone on the internet for orchestrating the sexual assault of one of her private bodyguards as a "joke" by sending an escort to his room to engage in some funny business.

People didn't find the humor in Demi's "gag" and began calling her out for not only mistreating an employee but "trivializing rape" by merely calling it the "meanest prank" she ever pulled.

There's tons of other instances where people were ready to "pull the plug" on supporting Demi forever. But you know how the world of Twitter outrage works, at the end of the day.

For the most part, people latch on to something they're pretending to be furious about for a few hours, get said topic trending, then once that fizzles out, they jump onto the next issue to be upset about. The satisfaction seems to come from tweeting about how upset you are, rather than, you know, actually doing anything about it in real life, for the most part.

Yeah so chalk this up to a dose of fake outrage and people who clearly don’t get the idea of what they are talking about. Now that’s the female side of this equation. What about the male side of this equation – let’s look at Adam Driver, the star of the recent string of Star Wars films. Is he over? Oh you had better believe that he’s over!

While social media has mostly been smitten with Kylo Ren actor Adam Driver for his appearances in Star Wars, Marriage Story, and his stints on Saturday Night Live, some people turned against the Hollywood star because of his military service with the United States Marine Corps. A Twitter hashtag claimed #AdamDriverIsOver because some users disagreed with his reasons for serving in the military, but it didn't take long for fans to come to the actor's defense.

All of it stems from Driver's decision to join the Marines and people taking seemingly out of context quotes and reading way too deep into offhand information to distill a person's entire life story down to one decision, and of course fans getting entirely too worked up over what other people are saying about their favorite celebrity.

It all comes out because Drive ended up joining the United States Marine Corps shortly after the September 11th attacks in 2001, serving nearly three years in the Marines before being medically discharged due to a dislocated sternum. After his time in the Marines, Driver got into the Julliard School and...well, the rest is history. An iconic run on Star Wars later and now he's one of the most sought-after actors in all of Hollywood.

Really? You’re mad that Adam Driver joined the Marines in his early life? No wonder that guy looks like he could kill you more ways than John Wick. Or how about another unlikely celebrity to get tangled up in all of this mess – Brendan Urie? You know him as the lead singer and performer of Panic! At The Disco, but did you know that he made some transphobic remarks in the early days of PATD? Well, neither did we! And he’s famous for playing a drag performer in “Kinky Boots”!

In the thread, @dinasapphic posted a video from a past concert in which Brendon states: "I wish I was born black so I could wear the clothes I wear without getting made fun of." He then states that black people are able to wear whatever they want but white people aren't.

There is also a video in the thread in which Brendon says to a crowd that he wants to "fuck them whether they want him to or not", comments in which he compares Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans to Rachel Dolezal claiming she's black and a snippet from an old interview in which he uses a transphobic slur.

Given that many of these comments were made years ago, Panic! fans have rushed to defend Brendon and argue that he's changed and these remarks no longer represent him. In the case of the transphobic slur, Brendon apologised for it in his Twitch livestream. He said: "I am so deeply sorry. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised how hurtful that word is."

A Panic! fan tweeted: "brendon urie is trending for shit he’s done years ago again. i’m not gonna get in on it much but it’s obvious he has changed and he has apologized for all the stuff he’s said in the past. ffs just fucking drop it and move on. focus on the present, not the past. #weloveyoubrendon" [sic].

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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Brian Kemp
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Georgia governor Brian Kemp. You might remember that we previously covered his battle between him and Stacy Abrams following the 2018 governor elections. But now he’s being added to the list as being the governor of the state who’s reopening the earliest amid the crisis and it’s shaping up to be quite the disaster. But now apparently he’s going against the president and let’s face it, Trump is not the kind of guy who you want to screw with, because it will end very badly for you. So in an era where Trump has simply given up leading the country, he’s literally left it to states to fend for themselves in this pandemic. Well let’s see how that is going.

President Donald Trump's surprisingly public rebuke of Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp's reopening plans is still reverberating through state capitals across the country and is contributing to decisions by some governors to take a slower approach in opening businesses in their state, Republican officials in a half-dozen states told CNN.

"No governor wants to endure the same wrath as Brian Kemp," a top adviser to a Republican governor said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to avoid drawing similar ire from the White House.
"We all watched that very carefully and no one wants to be called out like that by the President," another aide to a Republican governor said.

The President's conflicting guidance -- initially calling to "liberate" states, but then sharply criticizing Kemp for opening some businesses on Friday -- has led to an often confusing, messy patchwork of state-by-state rules.

The reopening of some Georgia businesses, which started including restaurants on Monday, was at odds with White House Task Force guidance for states to first have a 14-day decline in coronavirus cases. After initially signaling his support for Kemp, Trump criticized the move after his medical advisers voiced strong concern.

That’s how they say it down there – y’all suck! And yes, this is one of the biggest circular firing squads out there, and Trump is a guy who you do not want to engage in that kind of behavior with. But when you live in a country run by a president who simply doesn’t care, where are you left to turn? Either you go on your own, or you shut up. And well, neither option is particularly good right now.

President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence repeatedly told Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp that they approved of his aggressive plan to allow businesses to reopen, just a day before Trump pulled an about-face and publicly bashed the plan, according to two administration officials.

The green light from Pence and Trump came in separate private conversations with the Republican governor both before Kemp announced his plan to ease coronavirus restrictions and after it was unveiled on Monday, the officials said. Trump’s sudden shift came only after top health advisers reviewed the plan more closely and persuaded the president that Kemp was risking further spread of the virus by moving too quickly.

“I told the governor of Georgia Brian Kemp that I disagree strongly with his decision to open certain facilities,” Trump said Wednesday, just a day after telling reporters that he trusted Kemp’s judgment. “He knows what’s he’s doing.”

On Thursday, he was even harder on the governor: “I wasn’t happy with Brian Kemp, I wasn’t at all happy.”

Now how does this whole thing affect business owners? Well there’s plenty of ways that this could have an affect on the places you go. Do you really want to get a haircut or eat out at a restaurant or go to a bowling alley in this time when this virus lingers? And really the other question is – are there enough bowling alleys in Georgia for them to warrant essential business status?

Hair stylists at Salon Gloss in Woodstock, Georgia, wore masks and gloves on Friday, maintaining distance by using every other work station and keeping a supply of hand sanitizer nearby. Their customers also donned masks and gloves, while another employee disinfected a countertop.

Similar scenes played out across the state Friday, the first day Republican Gov. Brian Kemp allowed gyms, barber shops, hair salons, tattoo parlors and bowling alleys to reopen their doors, just a few weeks after he issued a stay-at-home order to slow the spread of the coronavirus.
But other businesses remained closed, like Sabrina Watkins' salon in College Park, an Atlanta suburb. She won't return to work until she feels safe, she said, even though customers called asking if they could get their hair done Friday.

"I said, 'No, absolutely not. Get your hair done for what?'" Watkins said. "There's a pandemic, people are dying. As much as I love the business, now is not the time, regardless of who says it is."

Yes, you do suck. So in this unprecedented crisis that is affecting every person on the planet, we don’t have a leader at the national level. We might not even have leaders at the state level. But with a population eager to get back to work and return things to the level that they were before the virus, maybe we turn to the business leaders? They seem to be leading where our governors fail.

Unfazed by mounting criticism from mayors in his state and President Trump, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp forged ahead with his decision to allow businesses across the state to reopen Friday, as the confirmed coronavirus death toll in the United States passes 50,000 people.

Kemp, a Republican serving in his first term, was one of the last governors to impose a stay-at-home order for his state, which took effect on April 3.

Citing "favorable data, enhanced testing and approval of our health care professionals," Kemp said Monday that some businesses once deemed nonessential, like fitness centers, tattoo parlors and nail salons, can welcome back customers starting Friday.

In a tweet on Friday, the president reiterated his most recent stance that it was too soon for Georgia to reopen.

"I (or @VP) never gave Governor Brian Kemp an OK on those few businesses outside of the Guidelines. FAKE NEWS!," he said, despite praising the governor earlier this week. "Spas, beauty salons, tattoo parlors, & barber shops should take a little slower path, but I told the Governor to do what is right for the great people of Georgia (& USA)!"

So reopening against reopening provisions, and getting on Trump’s bad side. That’s Georgia governor Brian Kemp – yet another in the ever-growing list of:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

Of course you know by now the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and while we’re drinking, we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And well, in the days of the Great Pandemic, that kind of news is in short supply right now. Look, I get it, we’re bored, there’s absolutely nothing to do because of COVID-19. And I’m stuck here at home with no bar, no bartender, and no wait staff. But I did swipe the copious amounts of booze we have on hand before we went into the Great Lockdown. Let me consult my virtual bartender for advice on what to drink. Tell me, o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about a stolen painting? A unicorn cocktail? Eh, no thanks, I will stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Anyway in the early days of the lockdown in Belgium, this happened.

THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — A Dutch museum says that a painting by Vincent van Gogh was stolen in a raid overnight.

The Singer Laren museum east of Amsterdam says “Spring Garden” by the Dutch master was stolen in the early hours of Monday.

Police are investigating a break-in at a Dutch art museum that is currently closed because of restrictions aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus, the museum and police said Monday.

It wasn’t immediately clear whether any other paintings or other artworks were stolen in the heist. The museum did not release any details. It scheduled a news conference for Monday afternoon.

Before the closure, the museum was hosting an exhibition titled “Mirror of the Soul” with works by artists ranging from Toorop to Mondrian, in cooperation with Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum.

Now this raises many questions, and the biggest one I have is – where the hell does one acquire a sledgehammer in Belgium? I’ve been to Belgium, they don’t exactly have giant home improvement stores like Le Home Depot here. So how does one not only acquire a sledgehammer but use it on an art museum that was supposed to be closed because of the pandemic?

CCTV footage has captured the moment an art thief smashed his way inside a museum to steal a Vincent van Gogh painting while it was shut due to coronavirus lockdown measures.

A Dutch crime programme first aired the security camera footage showing how the man shattered the reinforced glass doors at a small museum just outside of Amsterdam.

The robber could be seen hurrying out through the museum gift shop with Van Gogh’s The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring (1884) – said to have an estimated value of around £5m – tucked under his right arm.

Police hope that publicising the footage will help them track down whoever stole from the work from the Singer Laren museum on 30 March.

“I am shocked and unbelievably p***** off,” said museum director Jan Rudolph de Lorm. “It is horrible for all of us, because art is there to be seen and shared by all of us, for society as a whole, to bring enjoyment, to bring inspiration, and also to bring comfort.”

Well yeah obviously. We’ll get the painting back, dude. Just chill out and have a drink with us. Now, the nice thing is that borders are closed and air travel is currently prohibited in most countries, so he can’t go very far! So how do we go about catching one of the ballsiest thieves in recent memory? Well we got video surveillance and there aren’t a whole lot of places we can go. Just need to pinpoint maniacs with a sledgehammer, and that’s some fine sleuthing!

All it took was a few sturdy swings with a sledgehammer and a prized painting by Vincent van Gogh was gone.

A Dutch crime-busting television show has aired security camera footage showing how an art thief smashed his way through reinforced glass doors at a museum in the early hours of March 30. He later hurried out through the museum gift shop with a Vincent van Gogh painting tucked under his right arm and the sledgehammer in his left hand.

Police hope that publicizing the images will help them track down the thief who stole Van Gogh’s “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884” from the Singer Laren Museum while it was shut down due to coronavirus containment measures.

Nobody has been arrested in the theft and the painting, which was on loan from another Dutch museum, the Groninger Museum, when it was stolen, is still missing.

Police withheld other footage from inside the museum in Laren, a town east of Amsterdam, to protect their investigation. They also did not air video from outside the museum of the thief leaving.

Yeah so let that be a lesson to would-be art thieves out there. If you’re thinking of planning a heist during the Great Quarantine, then well, you’ve got another thing coming! But that should also double as a lesson for art museums out there – during the time of the Great Quarantine, you’ve got to figure out a way to keep your paintings and sculptures locked the fuck up, because if a guy can get into a museum that easily, what message does that send thieves everywhere?

Sixty hours ago, Van Gogh’s oil The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring was stolen from the Singer Laren museum in the Netherlands. I am certain that it was not what Van Gogh would have wished for his birthday; Monday was the 167th anniversary of his birth.

It also happened to be the birthday of Chris Marinello of Art Recovery International, perhaps the world’s foremost art theft expert. I called him and asked if he thought that the date of the theft was intentional. His response? “I don’t think that they were intelligent enough to know it. I’m not going to give them that much credit.” According to Marinello, others have conjectured that gangs or the underworld were involved, but he is unconvinced. “It was not done by professionals at all; it was not that sophisticated a theft.”

You will note that he uses the plural to describe whoever committed it. On the basis of the evidence thus far, Marinello feels that it may well have been two thieves. One performed the smash and grab, and the other waited outside on a motorcycle, or perhaps a bicycle, since it is The Netherlands, after all. (I cannot wait to see that CCTV footage.) There is, though, the chance that more criminals were involved.

Marinello explains that it was just a matter of timing. The one who smashed the front glass door rushed to the painting, removed it from the wall, and simply left before the police arrived. (More precisely, to quote a poor machine translation of an original Dutch report, the police arrived, “but the birds had already started flying.”) According to Marinello, “They simply took advantage of the pandemic lock down and the fact that officers are not responding as quickly as they normally do. The alarms are ringing and color cameras rolling, but they still can’t get to the museums immediately.” In fact, he confides that he is working on eight cases right now, all of which involve the slow response of law enforcement/government officials. “I’m concerned for all museums right now”, he ominously intones.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
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Well folks our experiment for Round 2 Week 1 was a rousing success and we will keep doing this all the way through the Final Four and the championship! We will at least have one champion to crown this year, am I right? If you missed it last week, Florida routed New Mexico to reach their second Final Four and they have become one of the favorites to win the whole thing. This week, it’s the Family Values Championship! We’re in Chicago at the United Center where last year’s champion and current conference favorite #1 Alabama take on red hot rivals in #4 Indiana. Let’s go to the floor where the two are waiting and willing to tangle!

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Alabama is no stranger to being at the top of the Family Values conference. Their stats are legendary and they have some serious street cred behind their brand. So what have they been up to lately? Well the multiple failed attempts to put former judge and alleged child molester Roy Moore back in the spotlight have failed spectacularly. Well for starters since the entire world has been turned upside down by coronavirus, there’s plenty of things happening that have been well, concerning. And for starters PRIDE events in June have been either postponed or canceled because of this thing and that includes events in Alabama.

Alabama’s oldest LGBTQ pride festival has been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Central Alabama Pride announced its decision to push back Birmingham’s Pride Fest and parade on its Facebook page Friday night. The events, which were originally planned for June 13 and 14, could be rescheduled for September or October. CAP officials will be getting feedback from other LGBTQ organizations as they discuss permanent dates during the next public meeting on Wednesday.

“We feel this was the best decision for the health and welfare of our community,” CAP officials stated on social media.

The 42-year-old organization held its first public pride festival in 1980. About 250 people attended the organization’s first parade in 1989. Now, thousands of people across the southeast come to Birmingham in rainbow-themed attire during the annual events in June.

Gov. Kay Ivey’s statewide stay-at-home order from April 3 only shut down non-essential businesses and activities. The order is expected to be lifted on April 30, but CAP Vice President Justin McGuire said it’s hard to measure how long social-distancing rules, as well as the economic impacts of outbreak, will last.

Unfortunately that wont be happening in Alabama this year. But Alabama’s family values have taken quite a sharp turn since the pandemic began. But what will be happening is that Alabama’s churches will still be operating as usual – thanks to Kay Ivey’s executive order. And guess what? If you think churches are immune from the virus, well, that whole congregation might be infected!

The Church of the Highlands continued its third day of hosting drive-through testing for COVID-19 and reached more than 1,000 total tests early Thursday morning.
The tests are being administered by the staff of Christ Health Center, a clinic founded by the Church of the Highlands in Woodlawn in 2009, and will be processed by Assurance Scientific Laboratory in Birmingham, which provides the test kits.

The testing is being done in tents on the parking lot at the main campus of the church on Grants Mill Road, just off Interstate 459. More than 100 volunteers and medical staff workers are coordinating the effort.
People are discouraged from coming if they don’t have clear symptoms or known exposure. Pre-screening will be done on site.

Drive-through testing patients are being billed through their health insurance. “Uninsured paid nothing," Schranz said. "If they had insurance they will be billed.”
more: https://www.al.com/coronavirus/2020/03/covid-19-testing-at-church-of-the-highlands-reaches-1000-mark-8-new-cases-detected-so-far.html

No, no, no demon birds here. Demon viruses, sure, and those must be gone if we are to get our society back to the way it was pre-pandemic. But there is one thing that can always be counted on – Roy Moore is always good for a laugh! So when you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em! And that’s exactly what Roy Moore has done. Never mind that he’s a garbage candidate who could never win a real GE, he’s… wait for it… suing against fake news!

Roy Moore is seeking more than $40 million in a lawsuit he filed Monday against a Washington magazine, three of its writers, its editors and owners over a series of what he describes as “fake news” attacks stemming from accusations he faced while a U.S. Senate candidate in 2017.

Moore, who is again running for the Senate, filed the lawsuit in federal court against the Washington Examiner publishing company and ownership and five employees.

It's the sixth lawsuit Moore has filed relating to the allegations that he made unwanted sexual and romantic advances to teen girls when he was in his 30s.

Moore has repeatedly denied all allegations.

In the latest lawsuit, Moore said writers for the Examiner acted with malice in writing stories about him and disregarded a demand for a retraction following the first story. The lawsuit includes two counts of defamation and one count of intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The lawsuit seeks $10 million for damages to Moore's reputation and emotional distress and more than $30 million in punitive damages. Melissa Isaak, who is representing Moore in other lawsuits, filed the suit.

[font size="4"]Indiana:[/font]

Indiana is always a Family Values favorite. They of course gave us their former governor and current Vice President, Mike Pence. A guy who cannot even have lunch in the same room with another woman who isn’t his wife, in such an absurdly creepy branch of religion. Well, while Indiana may be the home of fizzled-out presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, they are also the home of some old fashioned fire and brimstone religion. But churches are fighting back against stay-at-home orders!

This year Holy Week for many Christians comes at a time when they are legally barred from gathering inside their places of worship, and Indiana's governor is asking religious leaders not to go against the social distancing order because churches are not considered "essential."

A few conservative Christian leaders have criticized Governor Eric Holcomb for not labeling church services as essential, like some other states across the country have done. But Holcomb said during his press conference Monday that he isn't backing down from his decision.

"This disease does not care," Holcomb said. "This disease will prey on the vulnerable, this disease will prey on large gatherings. We have it within us to prevent that."

Gov. Holcomb's strong words come after a Church of Christ in Hammond received a citation over the weekend for holding a Palm Sunday service in violation of the state's stay-at-home order.

Yeah probably. Let’s not forget that this is about Family Values. Which there are a lot of in the Hoosier State. As much as they love college basketball – which we can’t have right now – they also love them some churches. Which, unlike a lot of their worshippers, have really evolved with the times. Well, some of them have anyways!

A suburban Indianapolis church held services on Sunday for the first time in more than a month, taking care to ensure that worshippers adhered to social-distancing best practices and limiting attendance to conform to the governor's coronavirus guidance.

The iTOWN Church in Fishers held 40-minute services in which only 10 people were allowed to attend, including the pastor. They started on the hour, leaving 20 minutes in between for cleaning crews to sterilize the inside of the church before the next group of worshippers arrived, the Indianapolis Star reported.

Pastor David Sumrall said in a Facebook post Thursday that the church would resume services while adhering to Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb's executive order prohibiting gatherings of more than 10 people, adding that the church made its decision after consulting with “local government leaders and our lawyers.”

The services resumed on a day that the state passed two grim coronavirus milestones. In a news release, the state Department of Health said Sunday that 28 more people in Indiana had died of COVID-19, bringing the state's death toll to 813. It also said the number of confirmed cases in Indiana had climbed by 634, bringing the statewide total to 15,012.

Damn straight Rev! That’s how we are all feeling right now. But remember when Trump said that our quarantine nightmare would be over and that we’d have packed churches by Easter? Well pastors across Indiana held that same opinion as Trump and when they didn’t get their way, well, they of course went the predictable apeshit route you’d expect. At lest they have a governor who is more understandable than Kay Ivey.

This year Holy Week for many Christians comes at a time when they are legally barred from gathering inside their places of worship, and Indiana's governor is asking religious leaders not to go against the social distancing order because churches are not considered "essential."

A few conservative Christian leaders have criticized Governor Eric Holcomb for not labeling church services as essential, like some other states across the country have done. But Holcomb said during his press conference Monday that he isn't backing down from his decision.

"This disease does not care," Holcomb said. "This disease will prey on the vulnerable, this disease will prey on large gatherings. We have it within us to prevent that."

Gov. Holcomb's strong words come after a Church of Christ in Hammond received a citation over the weekend for holding a Palm Sunday service in violation of the state's stay-at-home order.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Well we got a tie score here going into the last minute…. Indiana has the ball, they shoot, ooh they got denied! Now a rebound, also denied! 15 seconds left… Alabama has the ball, they shoot… and… IT’S GOOD!!! Alabama has stunned Indiana, they move on to face Florida in a rematch of last year! Sorry Hoosiers, better luck next year! Alabama – cut the net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 2 Week 3 and we’re live in San Jose at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! It’s the Batshit Conference championship - #1 Virginia takes on red hot #3 Idaho in a winner take all contest to advance to the Final Four!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 29, 2020, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Another week, another home show. We’re in it for the duration of this awful pandemic. When things get back up and running we will try to do some live shows from our new home at Flappers but without the new music for the time being. We hope to do some full shows in the near future, we will see how this awful virus pans out. And of course our plans for touring the world – which we hoped to do for season 9 – got squashed. So instead we will be starting out with some very small scale shows at our new home in Burbank. If travel restrictions get lifted in the near future, we will be going back out on the road and bringing you our full show complete with some new musical guests. OK that said do we have time for the thing? Well I want to say that we have a thing before we get into the meat of conservative idiocy. But now that even Oktoberfest, the mother of all beer festivals, is canceled for this year, we got nothing! One thing we do have a lot of though is misinformation about the virus, and I think that my favorite so far is coming from America’s televangelists who are insisting that they can cure the virus just by placing a hex on it. Sorry guys but it doesn’t work that way. Anyways, I cannot wait until things start returning to some sort of normalcy so we have things to talk about other than this god forsaken virus!!! Shit, even our logo for the rest of the season is going to be reflecting the virus apocalypse! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But even John Oliver’s segment is all about the virus:

The news is all bad, but we will try to keep it funny for you guys because we all could use a sense of humor right now. Because, the Wheel Of Corruption is back! Not the live wheel you know and love, because there’s no way that I could fit that thing in my house, but instead we have a virtual model that’s been setup until we can get back in the clubs! In the number one slot this week is Trump Vs The Governors (1). Gavin Newsom and Andrew Cuomo, among others, are proving to be the adults in the room, while Trump is proving to be the insufferable child who begs for toys. In the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). When do we reopen the economy after the COVID-19 shit show? Well Trump is throwing a daily temper tantrum on national TV and moving the goalposts back further and further. Taking the third slot is something called “Operation Grandslam” (3) and you may have noticed these protests against social distancing popping up in your state, but it gets crazier. And it’s a GOP sting operation at that! At slot #4 this week is Vince McMahon (4). Yes, even the head honcho and one of Trump’s BFFs is going through some rough times, as the XFL finally kicked the bucket, but he’s an economic advisor! In slot #5 this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, Trump is pushing the cure for COVID as hydroxychloroquine, but we will show you using examples from around the world, why this could be a really bad idea. At slot #6 this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and this week our pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed by the Christian right’s response to the unfolding tragedy, but it’s about what you would expect. In the seventh slot this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and this week Fox News is turning up their COVID death toll rhetoric, and if they get their way, a whole lot of us are gonna die! In the 8th slot this week, after he made a casual reference about the potentially low death toll of COVID, we profile Dr. Oz (8) on a new edition of “This Fucking Guy”. Taking the #9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb, because the virus hasn’t slowed down people being incredibly and predictably stupid! Finally this week we have the 2nd round of Stupidest State 2020! It’s a Gun Nut duel to the death as #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico in a battle to take the crown and head to the Final Four! Unfortunately no live music until we’re able to leave the house and get back to normal life. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Trump Vs The Governors
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Unfortunately there’s no tableside guacamole option because the CDC has temporarily suspended tableside preparation. Also, no t-shirt cannon either. And a much smaller wheel for the time being. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Coronavirus
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Chance
- Community Chest
- Greed
- Walls
- Intermission
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Bankrupt
- 10,000
- 5,000
- Drink
- Morally Bankrupt
- Holy Shit
- Top 10 Investigates
- Whammy
- Double Whammy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Stupidest State
- 15,000
- A Random Tweet
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy…stop! Oh hey it’s one of our patented clips without context!

Well I hear that a plague is one of the punishments. But that’s probably because we elected the most sinful guy in history! Spin it again! Donald Trump. And for this segment – we are going to talk about the one question that’s on everybody’s minds. When will this crisis end and we can resume normal life? It’s the question of the year, the decade, and maybe even the century. Because this crisis is unparalleled and unprecedented. We were totally unprepared for this economically and socially. But with signs of the virus retreating and some things getting back to normal, others may not. And what is going to happen ultimately with this whole thing? Well first let’s look to Las Vegas.

Standing in front of an empty storefront along Main Street, Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman was beaming with optimism, believing that businesses would make it through the coronavirus pandemic.

“We’re all together in this and we are going to come out with a bang,” she said earlier this month.

On Tuesday, it became apparent what the independent mayor may have had in mind. She said she wants to reopen casinos, assuming that 100 percent of the population are carriers of the novel coronavirus.

Let them, and visitors, gather and gamble, smoke in confined spaces, touch slot machines all day — and let the chips, and apparently the infections, fall where they may.

“Assume everybody is a carrier," the mayor said Tuesday on MSNBC. "And then you start from an even slate. And tell the people what to do. And let the businesses open and competition will destroy that business if, in fact, they become evident that they have disease, they’re closed down. It’s that simple.”

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/04/22/las-vegas-coronavirus-reopen/

Yeah it’s not quite time to let the dogs out yet though, and I don’t think they thought this plan through very well. That’s just one example of this. Let’s go to Georgia where Brian Kemp is proving to be one of the dumber heads in the room. As they said in Animal House, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to live a life, son.”. And really in this time of death and a killer virus roaming the landscape, are these the kinds of places you would want to patronize? Places like tattoo parlors and bowling alleys should probably be last on the list, IMO.

Georgia Republican Gov. Brian Kemp announced Monday that certain businesses can reopen this week in a move that breaks from the majority of state leaders and defies the warnings of many public health officials.

Kemp said specifically that fitness centers, bowling alleys, body art studios, barbers, hair and nail salons, and massage therapy businesses can reopen as early Friday, April 24. Theaters and restaurants will be allowed to open on Monday, April 27, while bars and night clubs will remain closed for now.

The decision follows new guidance unveiled by President Donald Trump last week meant to help states loosen their social distancing restrictions.

According to an influential model often cited by the White House, from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, Georgia hit its projected "peak" for daily deaths 13 days ago, on April 7.

But that same model predicts that dozens of people will die each day in the coming week. And to limit a resurgence of the virus, the model says that Georgia shouldn't start relaxing social distancing until after June 15 -- when the state can begin considering other measures to contain the virus, such as contact tracing and isolation.

Man, the Dude and Walter must be having it rough right now. But they’re not the only ones. Let’s look at my home state of California where Gavin Newsom really is proving to be one of the cooler heads in the room and one of the adults taking this thing seriously. The thing is, Trump is betting that we’re going to just dive into this thing head first and expect that things will return to normal right now. But it’s not, we’re going to be in the shallow end of the pool for quite a while.

It's the question we're all asking: When will California reopen?

California Governor Gavin Newsom promised to outline some of the possible timeline for reopening on Wednesday, however the state continues to take a slow and gradual approach.

It's a contrast to some other states, which under public pressure, are already beginning to ease their shelter-in place-orders -- even if experts and some political leaders caution against it.

In South Carolina, some department stores and retail stores reopened Tuesday with 20% capacity. Public beaches opened as well.

In Georgia, businesses such as gyms, barbershops and bowling alleys will be allowed to reopen on Friday. Some restaurants and theaters will be able to reopen next week.

In Colorado, also starting next week, residents will be recommended to stay home but not required to do so. And in Tennessee and Ohio, a majority of businesses will be allowed to reopen May 1st, if not sooner.

Yeah so we’re treading waters very carefully but Trump wants to dive in the deep end and get things back to normal. Because we all know where this is leading. You know the reason why Trump is so eager to reopen the economy despite warnings is that he wants to get back out on the road and hold his ridiculous MAGA rallies. There’s an election in November and he is lost without them. So sleep tight, because Trump is about to make things that much worse.

President Donald Trump is eager to hit the road.

As his own health officials continue to warn against nonessential travel, Trump has privately urged aides over the past week to start adding official events back to his schedule, including photo ops and site visits that would allow him to ditch Washington for a few hours. The day trips would be similar to those Vice President Mike Pence has made visiting businesses during the viral pandemic, according to three people familiar with the planning.

Speaking at a coronavirus task force briefing this week, Trump noted he hasn’t “left the White House in months,” except to send off the USNS Comfort from a Virginia naval base and visit the Federal Emergency Management Agency‘s headquarters in March. The president has otherwise stayed within the executive complex for six weeks, an extraordinary stretch of confinement for a president who — even while stuck in Washington — loves to golf and visit his businesses. Trump's last big trip outside the Beltway to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta ended with a three-day fundraising swing in Florida, during which he stayed at his Mar-a-Lago beach club and golfed at a nearby course he owns.

His itch to get away from Washington comes as his administration pressures governors to begin loosening restrictions on interstate travel, business operations and public gatherings — part of a three-phase plan the federal government released last week to reopen the U.S. economy after a near-total shutdown due to Covid-19. The road map has been criticized by some state officials who say they lack the testing capacity needed to safely reopen communities in accordance with the president’s timeline. Trump officials insist enough testing is already available to handle the first phase of reopening.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br] B

Now entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet, I win 5,000 of something. Still don’t know what it is though. Use your imagination. Spin it again! Donald Trump. It’s no secret that we’re all going stir fucking crazy not being able to explore the world, see our friends and family, or even do everyday tasks like being able to go to the store or go to restaurants. And there’s no one going more stir crazy than our own president, Donald J. Trump. Which is why we’re subjected to him on pre-evening TV every day since the lockdowns began. But what is causing his bizarre behavior as of lately? Well a whole lot of things.

President Donald Trump accused Democrats on Monday of playing “a very dangerous political game” by insisting there is a shortage of tests for the coronavirus. But Democratic Kansas Gov. Laura Kelly, expressing the frustration of many state leaders, said the federal response has simply not been “good enough.”

Trump’s latest blast came even as Vice President Mike Pence assured governors the federal government is working around-the-clock to help them ramp up testing.

Pence sought to soften the Trump administration’s message amid growing clamor from governors of both parties for a national testing strategy to help secure in-demand supplies like testing swabs and chemical reagents. Trump said Sunday that he could use the Defense Production Act to compel one company to manufacture swabs.

“When it comes to testing, we’re here to help,” Pence told governors during a videoconference from the headquarters of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. The Associated Press obtained audio of the call.

Yeah no, you fucking moron, *YOU* are the one who is playing political games with the protection equipment that doctors and nurses so desperately need to get us through this thing. There’s already predictions of a second wave and it’s going to get worse. And why are we putting up with this? This isn’t presidential behavior, these are the ramblings of a psychotic mad man intent on killing a whole lot of us.

President Donald Trump said Wednesday he’s prepared to announce new guidelines allowing some states to quickly ease up on social distancing even as business leaders told him they need more coronavirus testing and personal protective equipment before people can safely go back to work.

The industry executives cautioned Trump that the return to normalcy will be anything but swift.

The new guidelines, expected to be announced Thursday, are aimed at clearing the way for an easing of restrictions in areas with low transmission of the coronavirus, while keeping them in place in harder-hit places. The ultimate decisions will remain with governors.

“We’ll be opening some states much sooner than others,” Trump said.

But in a round of calls with business leaders Wednesday, Trump was warned that a dramatic increasing in testing and wider availability of protective equipment will be necessary for the safe restoration of their operations.

These are crazy times but they do not call for a crazy leader. Unfortunately we’re stuck with him until November or they enact the 25th amendment. Whichever comes first. But here’s what is crazy is that he won’t shut the fuck up. And you ever notice how the people who say we shouldn’t politicize tragedies are the ones who are actively politicizing tragedies? Well, you might be right on that one.

The WHO responded Wednesday to President Donald Trump’s threat to cut its funding, saying the move would not be appropriate during the global coronavirus pandemic.

“We are still in the acute phase of a pandemic so now is not the time to cut back on funding,” Dr Hans Kluge, WHO regional director for Europe, told a virtual briefing, according to Reuters.

A day earlier, Trump threatened to withhold funding from the United Nations’ health agency, claiming it got “every aspect” of the coronavirus pandemic wrong.

“With regard to us, they’re taking a lot of heat because they didn’t want the borders closed, they called it wrong,” Trump said at his daily briefing. “They really called, I would say, every aspect of it wrong.”

And if you’re wondering, not only is Trump politicizing tragedies, he’s also shunning the experts in this bizarre attempt to stroke his ego and prove that he’s right on everything. Look, you can’t make the claim that you’re right on everything, no one can. And I predict that we’ll see the firing of our surgeon general before the end of next week, count on it.

The Trump administration took Surgeon General Jerome Adams off television last week after his controversial remarks on Covid-19's threat to minorities, silencing the White House's loudest voice on racial disparities even as concerns mount about risks to communities of color.

Adams made just one TV appearance last week, a steep decline from the 10-plus TV appearances he made the prior week on programs like ABC's "Good Morning America,” CBS’ “This Morning” and NBC’s “Today Show." The surgeon general received multiple requests for high-profile media appearances last week that the White House didn't accept, said two people with knowledge of some of those requests. Adams also hasn't made an appearance at a White House press briefing since April 10.

Adams' disappearance on the airwaves and at the White House podium followed comments at a press briefing on April 10 that progressives attacked as racially insensitive for shifting responsibility to minorities. But health officials also fear that minimizing Adams means the White House is retreating from questions about its work on behalf of minority communities, a perennially sensitive issue for President Donald Trump and his administration. Early data from Chicago showed that black communities represented about two-thirds of the city's Covid-19 deaths, despite representing about one-third of the population.

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[font size="8"]Infowars
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy… What? Bankrupt? NO!!!

Spin it again. Ah man, do I really have to talk about Infowars? Make me. But I don’t want to. OK my producer is telling me that I really need to talk about them. Fine. So folks you know that there’s protests propping up all over the country. But the question now is who’s behind them? Well, just check out the protests happening in Austin, Texas. Austin – one of our favorite places to visit. And it’s also the home of Alex Jones and Infowars. So on Saturday when the white male gun nut wannabe war lords were protesting the Texas state capital, guess who crashed the party?

The conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was pictured shaking hands with protesters at a Texas rally against social distancing measures on Saturday.

A video posted on Twitter yesterday showed the Infowars founder shaking hands with at least four people at the demonstration against measures designed to keep people safe amid the novel coronavirus pandemic.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an advisory in March that encouraged Americans to "stop handshaking" to prevent the spread of infectious disease amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, also said Americans should avoid shaking hands ever again to bring down both coronavirus and influenza cases.

In a YouTube video of Jones' appearance at the "You Can't Close America" rally in Austin, the conspiracy theorist said: "Texas, I salute you all. Texas is leading the way."

Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put a warning on that thing!!! Dear god. Look, guys, we get it. Nobody likes this, and show me one person on earth who does, and I will tell you that is a crazy person. Nobody likes to be isolated and quarantined. But this disease is a beast like nothing we’ve ever seen before. And until we know how this ends, we’re all in the same boat. But these protests are springing up all over the country.

In tandem with Donald Trump, Fox News hosts and other influential conservatives spent the weekend egging on a small number of mask-less protesters flouting social distancing guidelines by crowding state capitols and demanding that closure orders be lifted. These “Give me liberty and give me death!” rallies, as a Washington Post satire piece put it, represent the opinions of a decided minority: A Politico–Morning Consult poll released last week found that 81% of Americans support maintaining social distancing measures “for as long as is needed to curb the spread of coronavirus, even if it means continued damage to the economy,” while nearly 60% of respondents in a similar NBC–Wall Street Journal survey voiced concerns over the U.S. lifting mitigation efforts too soon. But perhaps out of wishful thinking, members of the right-wing media are nonetheless framing protests as the Tea Party movement reincarnated.

“A lot of people are very proud of you,” said Fox News host Jeanine Pirro during a Saturday night interview with Meshawn Maddock, an organizer behind the so-called “Operation Gridlock” protest in Lansing, Michigan. “Peaceful protests, civil liberties, it’s what we’re all about. Keep going.” The segment aired after Pirro’s colleagues had spent days praising the protests. Last week Tucker Carlson hosted Maddock and thanked the Michigan Conservative Coalition activist for her service. On Saturday morning Fox & Friends prominently displayed the locations of future rallies on a map of the country—exactly what the network did years prior to promote the anti-Obama Tea Party protests. An article published on Fox’s website took the effort a step further, embedding a tweet with contact information for those who wished to join the Wisconsin Freedom Rally. On Friday conservative talk radio giant Rush Limbaugh cheered on the protesters by citing historic examples of American bravery and sacrifice, including U.S. involvement “in World War II,” adding, “This shutdown, and hunkering down in total fear, is not a hallmark of American history.”

Can we stop paying attention to these morons please? For the last 15 years they have given us nothing but bad ideas. This is just another extension of the Fox News culture war, and it’s a war that nobody asked for, or wanted. Can we declare a cease fire now please? Otherwise this virus is going to kill a whole lot more of us if we don’t stop it. But yeah let’s tell these people to shut the fuck up.

The scene in front of the Pennsylvania statehouse Monday was anything but social distanced. Hundreds of protesters gathered on the steps of the Capitol building in Harrisburg as police barricades blocked people from advancing closer to the doors.

Cars circling the building added to the demonstration. One green rig with the words "Jesus is my vaccine" spray-painted above its front fender drove down 3rd Street, its horn blaring in support.
The protests went on in spite of -- or, more accurately, because of -- Pennsylvania's statewide stay-at-home orders designed to limit the spread of the coronavirus. The demonstrators called for a swift end to the government-imposed closures of regular business and for America to "open up." Similar events have taken place in state capitals across the country, including in Michigan, Texas, Maryland, and Washington state, with upcoming protests in additional states.

The organizers have an ally in President Donald Trump, who over the weekend defended the protesters as "good people" and called on citizens in multiple states with Democratic governors to "LIBERATE" their states. More broadly, the President has been talking publicly and privately about reopening the American economy for weeks. He released his administration's plan for doing so last Thursday and has since been frustrated by what he perceived as a negative response to the proposal from the media.

Yeah they’re full blown crazy all right. But now that we know the extent of these protests, where are they coming from? And what is fueling this fire? I can guarantee that nobody is liking these lockdowns, we all had plans before the pandemic, and we will get back to those plans afterward. But for now let’s all act like we’re on the same page right? But first let’s pull take off the mask and find out who you really are. Mr. Weatherby??? And he would have got away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

Thousands of people in the United States took to the streets over the past week to demand the country's swift reopening.

While some protested from their vehicles, many others defied coronavirus social distancing guidelines as they rallied on state capitol grounds and in front of governors' homes in several states including Michigan, Kentucky, Washington, Minnesota, Virginia and Colorado.

The number of people protesting was relatively small compared with those who have abided by stay-at-home orders.

Those who protested said they were concerned that their constitutional rights and freedom were being curtailed in the fight to contain the pandemic. Many were also frustrated that they could not work or lost their jobs due to state lockdowns.

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[font size="8"]The XFL
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… and it lands on… Coronavirus!

Uh… ma’am? This is a Baskin Robbins. Either order some Mint Chocolate Chip or get the hell out. Spin it again! Greed! Folks, it’s no mistake that the coronavirus has turned life upside down and inside out, and everything that we once took for granted is currently gone until we figure out how to deal with. Most notably the economy has just taken a tremendous beatdown. It’s a really tremendous beatdown, really tremendous. The best. Well, not really, bad Trump impersonation. Because one of the biggest blows was the demise of Vince McMahon’s XFL. We’ve made fun of the return of the XFL a lot on this program, but come on, we didn’t even get one season thanks to the Shithead Virus.

Former XFL commissioner Oliver Luck has sued owner Vince McMahon in federal court, citing wrongful termination after McMahon's decision to shutter the league.

According to the complaint, filed last week in U.S. District Court in Connecticut, Luck received a termination letter on April 9 -- a day before McMahon laid off most of the XFL staff and three days before the league filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Luck "wholly disputes and rejects the allegations set forth in the Termination Letter and contends they are pretextual and devoid of merit," per the complaint.

McMahon is chairman and CEO of the WWE and is the owner of Alpha Entertainment, which was the parent company of the XFL.

Much of the lawsuit is redacted, citing confidentiality clauses in Luck's contract. He was hired in May 2018 for a deal reportedly worth approximately $20 million over its lifespan. Luck was not listed among creditors in the XFL's bankruptcy filings, but the lawsuit alleges breach of contract.

Now here’s where it gets weird. The WWE is still big business, and while the XFL was a great idea in theory, the low attendance and ratings were a factor, and it had yet to be determined whether or not it was a success. But then add in Coronavirus – which is killing whole economies as fast as it is killing people, and you have an utter disaster. But is it worth making Vince McMahon an economic advisor? Is it really?

President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he is putting together an advisory group that will work to reopen the country economically. Included in the large collection of advisors is an entire section dedicated to sports, which features commissioners of the country's four major sports leagues and some other notable sports executives. The group is reportedly scheduled to take part in a call on Wednesday to discuss the effort, according to Shams Charania of The Athletic.

The Great American Economic Revival Industry Group, as the White House is calling it, features 16 sports figures:

Three of the four major professional sports leagues in the United States -- MLB, the NHL and the NBA -- have suspended their seasons as a result of the rapid spread of the coronavirus. The NBA was the first to announce its suspension after center Rudy Gobert tested positive for the respiratory disease that has become a global pandemic. Each league has expressed different expectations for when they'll return.

The NFL, the country's fourth major professional sports league and the most popular among Americans, has only needed to adjust its plan for this year's draft, to this point, with it being done virtually. Golf majors have been postponed or canceled, and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics has been postponed until next year.

Yeah sadly we may never know what a rejuvenated XFL would look like. And is that really the guy who we want as an economic advisor? Look we’re all going stir crazy right now. Even TV sucks. There’s nothing worth watching right now. But it’s also not worth doing something stupid either. Until we know what this virus is going to do long term, we may have to live with it. We could be like Dana White and have fights on a private island to escape regulations.

UFC president Dana White insists UFC 249 won’t be a one-off return to action: The fight schedule will be in full swing again beginning April 18.

But where will these fights take place? According to White, the short-term will see events go down at the same still-undisclosed location as UFC 249 on April 18. After that, though, he claims the promotion will be setting up shop on a private island.

“I locked this venue (that will host UFC 249) for two months,” White told TMZ on Monday. “I have this venue for two months, and we’re setting up shop here. We’re going to be pumping out fights every week. I’m also a day or two away from securing a private island. I have a private island that I’ve secured. We’re getting the infrastructure put in now, so I’m going to start doing the international fights, too, with the international fighters.

“I’m not going to be able to get the international fighters, all of them into the U.S., so I have a private island. I’m going to start flying them all into the private island and start doing international fights from there. So as of April 18, the UFC is back up and running. … We have all our own planes and everything we’re going to fly into the island with the fighters.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY Hydroxychloroquine
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Now entering the spin zone! And it lands on… wait for it… ah hey it’s time for a clip without context!

In that case then call me Satan! Because I want the damn vaccine, damn it! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

With the coronavirus upending our society and way of life as we currently know it, the idea of self-medication becomes ever more prevalent as doctors and hospitals are being repurposed to deal with this evolving and unprecedented crisis. One such medication being touted by President Trump is an old malaria drug called hydroxychloroquine and also the regular chloroquine. But the hype of this drug from the right wing media is illustrating why we need doctors to guide us through this pandemic and why we shouldn’t listen to hype men and product pitchmen. Because this is serious and taken in the wrong capacity, the cure really is worse than the disease.

A malaria drug widely touted by President Donald Trump for treating the new coronavirus showed no benefit in a large analysis of its use in U.S. veterans hospitals. There were more deaths among those given hydroxychloroquine versus standard care, researchers reported.

The nationwide study was not a rigorous experiment. But with 368 patients, it’s the largest look so far of hydroxychloroquine with or without the antibiotic azithromycin for COVID-19, which has killed more than 171,000 people as of Tuesday.

The study was posted on an online site for researchers and has not been reviewed by other scientists. Grants from the National Institutes of Health and the University of Virginia paid for the work.

Researchers analyzed medical records of 368 male veterans hospitalized with confirmed coronavirus infection at Veterans Health Administration medical centers who died or were discharged by April 11.

About 28% who were given hydroxychloroquine plus usual care died, versus 11% of those getting routine care alone. About 22% of those getting the drug plus azithromycin died too, but the difference between that group and usual care was not considered large enough to rule out other factors that could have affected survival.

So when people are getting desperate to find a cure and get back to the way things were before the virus you’re going to get desperate. And that’s what is happening right now. Yes, there might have been a few successes with hydroxychloroquine, but there’s been more failures and the drug has yet to be proven to work long term. Which is why even Trump himself has turned down the rhetoric.

President Donald Trump and his allies in conservative media have subtly scaled down their hyping of hydroxychloroquine as a potential cure for the coronavirus, according to a POLITICO review of White House briefings and cable news coverage.

Although Trump had repeatedly promoted the decades-old malaria drug since the early days of the disease’s outbreak in the United States, his public statements regarding hydroxychloroquine have diminished significantly over the past week for reasons that remain unclear.

His most recent mention of the drug at the White House’s daily coronavirus news conferences came last Tuesday, when the president announced his administration had deployed roughly 28 million doses of hydroxychloroquine from the federal government’s Strategic National Stockpile.

Earlier at that same briefing, though, the president also trumpeted remdesivir, another experimental treatment developed by the biopharmaceutical company Gilead, and spoke positively of its “promising results.”

Yeah you probably should there, doctor. In fact the idea of hyrdroxychloroquine has become big business, even if it is a lot of false hope. And false hope is not something we need right now. But what will make this worse is that repurposing this drug takes away from people who actually need it, like lupus patients for instance. Yes, they need this drug, and thanks to Trump, they cant find it.

When Aimee Blou heard the lupus drug she has relied on for more than a decade promoted as a coronavirus antidote, she visited her pharmacist.

The 40-year-old woman from Stockton, California, was told the decades-old antimalarial drug commonly prescribed for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis was in short supply. She would get only a 30-day refill, not her typical 90-day supply.

“It’s all backordered,” the pharmacist explained to Blou on March 23. “We are not going to be able to give you these (90-day) refills."

Hydroxychloroquine, also sold under the brand name Plaquenil, has been touted by President Donald Trump, media personality Mehmet Oz and others as a COVID-19 treatment, though scientific evidence the drug is effective against the virus is lacking.

The renewed interest in chloroquine, an antimalarial drug available since 1944, and the similar drug hydroxychloroquine has made it difficult for pharmacies and hospital chains to manage a limited supplies, leaving patients like Blou fearful the shortage will harm their health.

In this case you probably should. Because this fight is going to get very ugly very quickly and this is a can of worms being opened up that you definitely shouldn’t open up. Let’s take it from someone who’s actually had the virus and actually used the drug to combat the virus. And their experiences were shall we say, less than ideal.

Tom Hanks is getting personal about the coronavirus battle that he and his wife Rita Wilson experienced.

The actor says although he didn't have symptoms as bad as Wilson, he felt "wiped" while in isolation at a hospital in Queensland, Australia, last month.

"I was wiped after 12 minutes [of exercising]. I laid down in my hospital bed and just slept," Hanks told National Defense Radio Show.

He recalled telling a medical professional who was treating him at the time, "'I just had the weirdest thing. I just tried to do basic stretches and exercises on the floor and I couldn't even get halfway through.' And she looked at me through her glasses like she was talking to the dumbest human being. And she said, 'You have Covid-19.'"

Hanks said that his wife had such bad nausea from the anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine, that at times she couldn't even walk.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s give the wheel a spin, shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… CHANCE!

Damn. I did not pass go, guess I will have to collect my $200 later. Damn you Trump! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Guess what? We’re back! Yes, we are doing this service from an undisclosed location in an undisclosed state – you know which one I’m talking about – because apparently it’s OK for some things to be open! But remember the last time we congregated online, I told you that there was a pastor who was planning a Christian version of Woodstock? Well, there’s another event coming down the pike that aims to make this look like child’s play. And this one is going to take place in Washington, DC, the place of the unholy Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, and well, it’s a very bad idea. I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would not approve!

End Times author Jonathan Cahn is promoting “The Return,” a day of national repentance with events around the country and on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 26.

Cahn explicitly connects “The Return” to the 2020 presidential election, describing the date as 40 days before the presidential election and the 400th anniversary of the sailing of the Mayflower. (Cahn’s End Times books are filled with similar historical and biblical numerology.)

“This year—2020—is crucial, as it leads to a presidential election in which the stakes are higher and the necessity of prayer more critical than before,” Cahn says in a video promoting the event as a photograph of Trump appears on-screen. “And even if the election goes in the direction of biblical values and righteousness, if we don’t see a spiritual turning, an awakening, a repentance, revival, then all the political, legal, judicial, and cultural efforts will ultimately fail or be undone,” he warns.

“We have driven God out of our public life and have called what is good evil and what is sin good,” Cahn said in an Apr. 14 press release. “America’s fall from God is not only progressing—it’s accelerating—to the point that it is no longer just a falling away, but a war against the purposes of God.”

Ooh “The Return”! Such a Biblically prophetic name isn’t it? But that brings up a point – are the lockdowns defiance against the almighty GAWD? Well, yes and no. And when your friends are John Hagee and Paula White, who really needs enemies? I mean if you’ve got a couple of televangelist hucksters and a hard-on for Revelations end times prophecies, this is what you are going to get!

A group of prominent religious-right leaders were featured on a Daystar television special on the COVID-19 virus Wednesday night. The program, which was also streamed on Pastor Robert Jeffress’s Facebook page, mixed encouragement and prayer with lavish praise for President Donald Trump. In addition to Jeffress, speakers included White House adviser Paula White, conservative Hispanic leader Samuel Rodriguez, prominent Christian Zionist John Hagee, and evangelist Jentezen Franklin. The special was hosted by Marcus and Joni Lamb, founders of Daystar, a Dallas-based global Christian network.

“Today, we’re not here to promote the president or promote Republicans,” Marcus Lamb said near the beginning of the 90-minute broadcast, but praising Trump and promoting White House talking points on the administration’s handling of the pandemic was certainly part of the agenda. Lamb and other speakers frequently pointed to scriptural admonitions to pray for those in authority.

“Whether you like the president or voted for him or not, he needs prayer,” Marcus Lamb said, prompting Joni Lamb to jump in, saying, “We have to acknowledge as Christians that this president has done so much for the church and the body of Christ.”

“People are beginning to see the president, the man that I’ve known for all this time, and how deeply embedded faith is in him,” said White, who claims in her recent book that God gave her Trump as a spiritual assignment years ago.

Except it really isn’t, Reverend. Just bullshit. Yes, we are allowed to swear in my church, I make up the rules, damn it! But in our weird, socially distant world brought on by this god forsaken virus, we need to at least have some kind of structure, right? Well, leave it to the Liberty Counsel to open the churches, and we have a date! Yes, Sunday May 3rd is the date of the great reopening! And yes, we’re all fucked in case you can’t tell.

Religious-right legal group Liberty Counsel launched a campaign Monday “calling on the churches to open and believers to start meeting again on Sunday, May 3,” which Liberty Counsel is calling ReOpen Church Sunday. The announcement came as “reopen” protests organized by right-wing activists have targeted Democratic governors with calls to ease shutdown orders.

Liberty Counsel, known for anti-LGBTQ-equality activism, has recently defended Rodney Howard-Browne, a Tampa, Florida-based pastor who was arrested at the end of March for holding services that violated COVID-19-related restrictions on public gatherings. After his arrest, Howard-Browne took his services online and has continued to use them to spread conspiracy theories. Deaths of parishioners and pastors have been linked to church gatherings that defied social distancing guidelines.

In a press release distributed Monday, Liberty Counsel connected its “ReOpen” churches campaign to the Trump administration’s recently announced phases for states to begin lifting social distancing restrictions. Liberty Counsel says churches “should include appropriate measures of sanitization and appropriate social distancing between families” and should consider a range of options, including seating outside the building and online access for higher risk individuals.

“The lockdowns have closed churches at a time of greatest need, and they must reopen to meet the burgeoning needs of the community,” Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver said in the press release. But he seemingly undermined the thrust of his campaign with the caveat, “Each church is different and each one must assess when and how best to open.”

Yes but in the time of the Great Pandemic, you don’t need to be at church that badly! And I say this a man of GAWD! You can still be at church, it’s just not the church you’re used to. And this is not permanent. And you are not being targeted. Until things get better, we’re all on the same page, and I’m pretty sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want! But there might be some good news in all this madness, Jim Bakker needs money! And LAWRD does he need it ever!

On his television program today, End Times pastor Jim Bakker begged viewers to send in donations by check so he can keep his ministry afloat and not have to declare bankruptcy.

As Right Wing Watch reported last week, Bakker is facing a dire financial crisis as a result of his network being unable to process credit card transactions ever since it found itself facing various legal problems for promoting the silver solution it sold as a possible cure for the COVID-19 coronavirus.

“I’m just sad to see what’s happening to America,” Bakker said. “We are living in the final days, and if we go the wrong direction, America is through. You have to use a check [to donate or purchase products]. Your products are going to come to you. Every one of them will come right to your house, and if we can’t, we are going to refund. I will sell parts of the buildings at Morningside in the long run if you give me a chance. Don’t let me have to file for bankruptcy.”

“They’re already bleeding us to death, and now we’re going to have to pay lawyers that will bleed you to death,” Bakker continued. “I know [my critics] are watching me right now, and they’re having a ball. They’re having a ball, and they’re saying, ‘Wow, we’ve whipped Jim Bakker finally’ … I’ll tell you what, you all may want my head on a platter, and you may get it, but I’ll be gone to Heaven, and you’re not going to win. You’re not going to win because I’m 80 years old, and I don’t need to win. I need to please God, and that’s what I’m going to do the rest of my life.”

Now I would go to a real life church if it were like that! Well, until next week we will be meeting again online until it’s safe to do so! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: We Report, You Die!
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh it’s a clip without context!

Yeah I think Jim doth protest too much here. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

Fox News, you got some ‘splainin to do! So there’s no question that the economy is tanking because of the awful coronavirus that is spreading. But those on the right, apparently want to kill us! Did I say “kill us”? I meant that they want to sacrifice us for the greater good of the economy! Now here’s the thing- this talking point that has emerged is absolutely fucking horrifying. As you may have guessed. Until there’s a vaccine, there’s no way out of this without seeing numbers for the virus absolutely skyrocket, and Fox News is leading the charge. They’re already staging protests across the country with the hope of overturning the lockdowns. But they’re turning the crazy extra hard in the last week especially. Let’s run down some of their greatest hits.

Another celebrity “doctor” is suffering from foot-in-mouth disease.

Now that many parts of the country have spent more than a month sheltering in place amid the COVID-19 pandemic, a growing chorus is calling for reopening the American economy, which is stirring up arguments of how soon is too soon. And the latest voice entering the fray is TV personality and psychologist Phil “Dr. Phil” McGraw, who compared the death toll of a global pandemic that is still peaking to the annual number of deaths from … swimming.

Contrary to McGraw’s comments, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that 36,560 people were killed in traffic crashes last year. What’s more, the CDC has reported 3,536 fatal unintentional drowning incidents (non-boating related) each year between 2005 and 2014 — a sobering number, for sure, but far short of the 360,000 a year figure cited by McGraw.

But the CDC does indeed estimate that cigarette smoking causes 480,000 deaths a year, including deaths from secondhand smoke.

McGraw also went on to hazard a guess that the lockdown will “actually create more death across time than the actual virus will itself” due to poverty and loneliness.

Why the hell do these guys get asked for advice anyways? Yeah Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and even Dr. Drew. So these guys may be MDs (except for Dr. Phil), but there’s no way they should be asked for their opinion on anything! Here’s the thing in this day and age, if you say something stupid, you’re gonna wind up apologizing for saying that stupid thing. Which is exactly what Dr. Phil did.

If you’re seeking an unbiased opinion on an urgent national matter, probably the last place you want to go is Fox News — and if you’re looking for a qualified medical professional to speak on said matter, the last person you should turn to is Dr. Phil. Luckily for the public, a Thursday night episode of Laura Ingraham’s show offered the best of both worlds.

Professional charlatan Dr. Phil is garnering intense criticism for arguing in favor of ending state lockdowns in order to stimulate the economy, comparing COVID-19 deaths to car crash fatalities and swimming pool drownings in the process.

“People are dying from the coronavirus. I get that,” the good doctor generously conceded on Ingraham’s show. “But the fact of the matter is, 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, 360,000 a year from swimming pools, but we don’t shut the country down for that.” At least two of these statistics are actually wrong; per the National Safety Council, 38,800 people in the U.S. died from car crashes last year, and per the CDC, there are a little more than 3,500 nonboating-related drowning deaths a year in the United States, not all of which are specifically in swimming pools.

Yeah that’s pretty much the manta at Fox News right now – they’re very actively trying to kill us in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. So how did Fox News get away with escalating the propaganda? Well we saw who their experts are. Now we are going to start seeing COVID deniers and even worse – COVID truthers.

PragerU’s Candace Owens has been a prolific conspiracy theorist and spreader of misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Owens has continuously spread misinformation about the virus, claiming hospitals are inflating death numbers for financial gain, downplaying the threat, and lashing out at social distancing and mitigation efforts.

On April 14th, Owens was a guest on Laura Ingraham's Fox News show to discuss “racializing coronavirus.”

As the national death toll of the coronavirus escalates, Owens has continued to downplay the crisis and insist that there are nefarious motivations behind the national attempt to mobilize Americans to flatten the curve.

On April 6th Owens claimed that it was “ironic” certain states, including New York, Connecticut, and California were claiming to be the hardest hit, and that there is “a financial incentive” for states to inflate the number of coronavirus deaths.

As the national and global death tolls rose, Owens used comparisons to different historical events to downplay the threat of COVID-19.

Here’s the thing I want to know – why is anyone turning to the advice of anti-vaxxers like Candice Owens during the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century? That would be like asking someone who’s lactose intolerant what their favorite ice cream flavor is. And by the way remember when Fox News kept bringing up death panels and pre-exisitng conditions during the Obamacare debate way back when? It’s kind of like that now in the opposite direction. There are death panels, and they’re coming to kill you!

Many right-wing media outlets — from Fox News to white AM talk radio — have promoted a great deal of misinformation about the coronavirus pandemic, which radio host Rush Limbaugh infamously compared to “the common cold.” But not only all right-wing media outlets have downplayed the severity of coronavirus: The Bulwark has offered an abundance of quality reporting on the pandemic. And Bulwark journalist Jonathan V. Last, this week, slams some of the bizarre contradictions that have been coming from coronavirus truthers.

“I’ve been consistently boggled by the loose affiliation of coronavirus-truthers, America Firsters, Catholic rad-trads, and economic boosters who have come together over the last month to insist that: (1) COVID-19 isn’t so bad. (2) The real problem is the economy and the lunacy of shutting America down,” Last asserts in an article published on Thursday

Coronavirus truthers, the conservative journalist adds, are demanding that the U.S. economy reopen and insist that social distancing is going too far.

“These people all seem to have different reasons for wanting America to ‘reopen,’” Last explains. “The only thing they have in common is that they all — from the Taliban Catholics to the alt-right trolls, from the conspiracy cranks to Peter Navarro — love them some Trump.”

Last adds, however, that coronavirus truthers overlook the fact that Trump himself supports social distancing for the rest of April — and that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who many of them hate, is part of Trump’s coronavirus task force.

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Dr. Oz
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!! Intermission! We’re going to take a quick break so I can feed my dog. I’ll give you some music while you wait.

Spin it again. Hey it’s time for This Fucking Guy!

This week’s This Fucking Guy is Dr. Oz. Yes, you know Dr. Oz, he’s the TV quack who hawks unproven and potentially dangerous protein supplements as if they’re actual medicine! And this is precisely the kind of reason why you shouldn’t ask for anyone’s advice for someone that became famous because they appeared on Oprah. Oprah has been known to hawk some bad medicine on her show. Just ask Dr. Phil! So here’s what is happening with this. But here’s the thing – when a brand new disease strikes, we have no idea what is going to happen or how this thing is going to play out. It could go away in August. Or it could come back with a raging force in September and last the rest of the year. But one thing we know for absolute certain- never listen to a guy like Dr. Oz! Or Dr. Phil. Or Dr. Drew.

Over the past decade, celebrity wellness brands have helped to frame how we talk and think about health. But now that we are in the grip of a deadly pandemic, their shameless marketing of healing crystals, supplements and cleanses (aka unhealthy crash diets) comes across as especially ludicrous and exploitative. Now more than ever, the public wants and needs good science from trusted sources.

In some ways it feels like the volume has been turned down on the celebrity wellness pontificators. (Indeed, Gwyneth Paltrow's pseudoscience spewing Netflix show, "The Goop Lab," debuted just three months ago but already feels like it is from a different, more New Age-friendly, epoch.) But in reality, they are still playing a large and less-than-constructive role in the public discourse surrounding COVID-19. Arguably, they are actually making things worse than they were before the public health crisis.

Take Dr. (Mehmet) Oz. The celebrity surgeon is suddenly everywhere, especially on Fox News, where he has been (mis)advising America and President Donald Trump on hydroxychloroquine, an anti-malaria drug that the president has been pushing as a treatment for the coronavirus, despite the many concerns of health professionals. Touting the unproven benefits of the drug without talking about the mixed science and its potentially deadly side effects is "inexcusable," a Mayo Clinic heart expert told NBC News recently.

This hasn't stopped Oz, however. On Thursday, he promoted a "self-reported" hydroxychloroquine clinical trial on Fox News without the vital caveat that it was designed only for patients so sick that they were already near death. And that this type of research is far from definitive (we need well-done clinical trials). It is exactly this kind of irresponsible commentary that led to a man to mistakenly ingest chloroquine phosphate (thinking it would prevent the coronavirus) and die. (Oz also implied reopening schools could lead to people dying but might be an acceptable "trade-off" — he later said he "misspoke."

But wait, there’s more! Yes, leave it to a pair of TV hacks to turn potential cures for this shitty virus into a late night TV infomercial. And who guessed that two guys who live and die by their TV appearances would hawk the same cures? I’m shocked, shocked!! And by the way when you’re looking for cures in the middle of the worst pandemic in an entire century, you don’t want to hear words like “maybe” or “almost” or “miracle”. Because as the survey might suggest, that’s complete 100% bullshit.

Business is booming for only a few industries—video conferencing, hand sanitizer, and…elderberry syrup manufacturers. In Washington, hit early and hard, a pair of siblings now work 70 hour weeks filling orders for their immune-boosting formulation, up four times from February. In Texas, a kombucha shop is selling out of elderberry concentrate and elderberry gummies. Across the United States, panicked consumers have cleaned out major retailers, who also report shortages of other “immune-boosting supplements,” among them Vitamin C, zinc, and Vitamin D.

It makes sense to see these purchases as irrational and possibly dangerous: a waste of money when money is scarce, and unscientific when respect for scientific authorities is at a premium. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the division of the National Institutes of Health tasked with evaluating “alternative” medicine, put out a warning with a key takeaway in bold print:

When Dr. Oz tells a national TV audience that supplements “may be beneficial in shortening the duration” of infection—elderberry among those he recommends—he’s in the same camp as televangelist Jim Bakker hawking “Silver Sol Liquid.”

Shut it all down, just like the FTC shut down Bakker. As health policy expert Timothy Caulfield argues in a blistering opinion piece, there should be no tolerance for pseudoscientific cures that drain resources and might kill you. We should condemn those engaged in “leveraging the fear and uncertainty surrounding the outbreak to sell products and ill-conceived health theories,” whether they’re faith healers, Dr. Oz, or supplement sellers—and we should strive to educate those who fall for their sales pitches so they are no longer vulnerable.

Seriously, at this point I’d trust Dr. Nick over Dr. Oz. But really you think that the idea of selling unproven supplements might be a bad idea? Especially in the age where actual health care is ridiculously expensive and more people are choosing to self-medicate, you really don’t want to hear the words “unproven” next to a medication you might plan to buy. Nor do you want to hear the words “unholy alliance”. Actually, you never want to hear the words “unholy alliance” on anything.

Of course President Trump is getting advice about the pandemic from Mehmet Oz, and of course Dr. Oz is eager to provide it. They’re a match made in ratings-obsessed heaven.

Oz, mind you, is not a virologist. Not an epidemiologist. His actual specialty — cardiothoracic surgery — isn’t the most immediately relevant to the coronavirus. But his real specialty is using medicine as a means to maximum public exposure. He wasn’t about to let this dark chapter go to waste.

Over recent weeks he has made a blizzard of appearances on Fox News, giving interviews to hosts not exactly known for the dissemination of responsible information. I mean Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, the Trump-besotted pep squad on “Fox & Friends.”

And part of what the good doctor has done on these showcases is promote the anti-malarial treatment hydroxychloroquine as a potential wonder drug for Covid-19. An article by CNN Business’s Oliver Darcy and Kevin Liptak on Tuesday said that these plugs had piqued the president’s interest in the treatment, which he frequently mentions — rather, moons over — at his daily coronavirus news conferences. And The Times has reported that Oz also pitched hydroxychloroquine in conversations with members of the Trump administration.

So between hawking hydroxychloroquine and useless protein supplements, Dr. Oz is treading some very dangerous waters here. But in case you’re wondering about the kind of effect that Dr. Oz has on hawking some serious bullshit, there’s actually a thing in the food and dietary supplement industry about the “Dr. Oz” effect. He’s not really a doctor, he’s more like a marketer who hawks medically adjacent products.

“Ten years ago, we used to talk about the Dr. Oz effect. That would usually be covered by two or three products,” Emme says. “Now we have hundreds of products that have massive demand.”

At Maypro Ventures, President Dan Lifton can point to February numbers as almost quaint. Through its Quality of Life finished product brand, sales of immunity products, led by the Kinoko AHCC mushroom blend, were up 28%. He knows sales will be higher, far higher, for March. “We are stocking up in an unprecedented way,” Lifton says.

On the ingredient supplier side, Lifton says Maypro is seeing a dramatic “uptick” for herbs such as echinacea and astralagus and that interest in the company’s Morinaga BB536 probiotic is suddenly trending. Lifton predicts a “permanent expansion” for the immunity category, but he expects every category will grow in the short and long term. “I think the gateway drug phenomenon will hold,” he says, explaining that customers will be drawn in by immunity and follow that interest into other categories. “Use of multivitamins will go up. Ultimately, the biggest driver for supplement use is prevention.”

Len Monheit, CEO at Trust Transparency Center, agrees that immunity and prevention are just the beginning of the success story. “Immunity is going to lead the charge, and it’s already exploding. But you’re going to see your multis do well,” Monheit says. Other ingredients like ashwagandha could be less obvious hits. “You’re going to have stress, and you’re going to have energy [do well] because these are challenging times.”

Yeah that just seems like the kind of thing that would burn down the emergency room. So more product hawking and less doctoring, that’s Dr. Oz, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!! Oh a clip without context!

Uh… have you seen the news lately John? Nobody is making money! So that makes your little theory there officially moot. Spin it again!! Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Yes, sadly, even the pandemic has not stopped people from being the ridiculously dumb animals that they are. So with that in mind, let’s start with this story out of Iowa. OK look… look. People we really need to calm when it comes to where the virus actually is. Because there’s a huge steaming load of misinformation out there when it the coronavirus. So naturally people are going to be confused as to where the virus actually is and how it gets tramsitted. But if you think it’s on your drugs, well, you might be on them.

Worried that her methamphetamine was contaminated, an Iowa woman drove to police headquarters and asked cops to check her stash for the coronavirus, according to court records.

Shawn Salmen, 53, arrived at the Sioux City Police Department Sunday afternoon and reportedly admitted to officers that she recently used meth. Which appeared obvious since the paranoid Salmen was sweating profusely and acting erratically, cops say.

While speaking with police, Salmen “was requesting officers to check her narcotics for the COVID-19 Virus,” a criminal complaint states.

During a subsequent pat down of Salmen and a search of her truck, cops recovered 14.4 grams of meth, marijuana, and “a large amount of drug paraphernalia.”

Well that’s one way to do it! Next up – church. You know even religion is hurting in this trying time when there’s a killer virus that has just ravaged everything we care about. But that doesn’t exempt them from being dumb. Even a state-sanctioned religion like the Church Of England isn’t exempt from bringing on the stupid. Or a misfortune. We’ll let you be the judge.

A church was presented with signs reading "Chris is risen" after a mix up at the printers.

Acomb Parish Church, in York, had ordered four banners saying 'Christ is Risen' but the 'T' was missed off the finished article.

However, assistant Curate Ned Lunn said the error was discovered before the signs were delivered.

A BBC Radio York Facebook post has been shared more than 3,000 times, prompting one person to reply 'More T vicar?'

Mr Lunn said: "I'm so glad the customer spotted the mistake. It'll save a bit of embarrassment and a lot of confusion.

Praise Chris!!!! Next up – of course our good friends in the Sunshine State, scheduled to go up next in our 2020 Stupidest State tournament – is never exempt from bringing on the crazy. I mean when you live in warm climates on beaches surrounded by oil, with excessive booze and crystal meth easily available, you’re bound to get some stupid idiots. Such is the case here.

A Florida Woman placed plastic Easter eggs stuffed with pornographic images and other items in the mailboxes of scores of homeowners, according to cops who say they collared the “deranged offender” last night.

Investigators allege that Abril Cestoni, 42, delivered the X-rated material over the past several days, resulting in her arrest on 11 counts of distributing obscene items.

A charging affidavit alleges that Cestoni, seen above, stuffed mailboxes with Easter eggs and a pamphlet containing “incoherent rants about local religious clergy” and “multiple pornographic images.”

After a homeowner last night called 911 to report a suspicious person placing something in her mailbox, cops pulled over Cestoni’s car. Upon being read her rights, Cestoni reportedly admitted to distributing the plastic eggs and the pamphlets. Acknowledging she had distributed obscene material, Cestoni claimed she included the images “because homosexuals are allowed to teach in the church.”

Ah, that most elusive of dishes – the fabrege egg salad! Next up – we go to that most socially distant of US states, Michigan’s famous Upper Peninsula! Yes, while the Uppers (as they call themselves) rarely make the news, when they do so, they do so in spectacular fashion! You call that a knife? Well I got a chainsaw!!

A man and a woman, chased off by a Houghton County homeowner defending his property with a chainsaw, face first-degree home invasion charges.

Forty-year-old Sasha Joy Anderson of South Range and 32-year-old Christopher William Darmofal of Warren were arraigned Monday morning in Houghton County District Court.

First-degree home invasion is a felony with a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison.

Darmofal is also charged with carrying a concealed weapon, felonious assault and malicious destruction of personal property.

The Houghton County Sheriff's Office says around 4:00 a.m. Saturday in South Range, Darmofal pulled a knife on a man inside his home. The man defended himself with a chainsaw, and Darmofal and Anderson ran away. Deputies found them at another home in South Range.

Investigators say no one was hurt. Anderson's bond was set at $300 cash. Darmofal's was set at $5,000 cash. Their preliminary hearings will be set within three weeks.

Yeah it stinks like fish in here all right! Finally this week – Florida governor Ron DeSantis might possibly be one of the dumbest people in the country and he’s certainly in the running for one of the worst governors of all time. So of course we’re all going stir crazy in this time of isolation and quarantine during the great pandemic. But Ron DeSantis has his priorities totally out of whack. Beaches? OK to open! Schools? Must remain closed!

Hundreds of people swarmed Florida's beaches Saturday, just one day after Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) announced they would be allowed to open at local leaders' discretion.

Images of people flocking to beaches in the Jacksonville, Fla., area went viral on Twitter on Saturday, prompting backlash from users on the platform and the hashtag "#FloridaMorons."

DeSantis on Friday allowed cities with beachfronts to begin opening their beaches at their own discretion. The same day, Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry (R) announced that Duval County’s beaches would reopen.

However, the easing of restrictions still banned people from bringing towels and chairs — to prevent large congregations — and limited the hours. People are encouraged to go on walks or swim and remain six feet or farther apart from one another to maintain social distancing.

“This can be the beginning of the pathway back to normal life,” Curry said. “Please respect and follow these limitations. Stay within the guidelines for your safety as well as for the safety of your neighbors.”

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 1: Gun Nut Championships
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Let’s give the wheel one final spin this week! And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Ah, it’s another one of our famous clips without context!

Funny I don’t remember the Constitution being written by god. I must have fallen asleep during that lecture in 8th grade history. Spin it again! It’s time for Stupidest State 2020!

Welcome back to the 2020 Stupidest State! Just to recap last week was the last week of Round 1 and Week 4 was quite the stunner! We were in New Orleans where it was a battle of the 3s and 4s when over in the Family Values Conference, Mike Pence’s Indiana upset Jim Jones and his heavily favored Ohio squad with a thrilling last second buzzer beater! Meanwhile, over in the Batshit Conference, Idaho hangs on against surging South Carolina to play Virginia for the Batshit Crown! Now, since nearly all of America’s sports venues are closed for the foreseeable future, we are doing things simulated from here through the championship. Yes, simulated! This week, we’re in Chicago at the home of the Blackhawks and Bulls, the United Center, for the 2nd round action! #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico! Let’s go to the floor for more!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Championship: Florida Vs New Mexico:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Florida is notoriously famous for having one of the single highest concentrations of guns, gun shops, and gun conventions in all of America. But since the Great Pandemic, gun conventions are completely closed to the public for the time being. Shame. Where are Florida’s Gun Nuts going to get their illegal backdoor weapons purchase fix? Well there’s plenty of alternate opportunities for gun purchases in the Sunshine State. And in fact, since the pandemic happened, gun manufacturers should actually revel in the fact that they are doing gangbusters business.

Guns purchases in Florida peaked in the middle of the month as the coronavirus fears gained momentum, and more guns were sold in March than any March in the last decade.

Dallas, who didn’t want to give us her last name, is a first time gun buyer.

“I believe in the second amendment, and the right to protect yourself,” said Dallas.

And while she says it isn’t all about the virus, sales at Kevin’s in the state's capital peaked in mid-March and have been steady since.

“It is another factor that makes me think, 'Should I be prepared if someone were to come and infringe on my rights,'” said Dallas.

"It’s a lot of first time buyers. People just wanting to protect themselves I think. They don’t know the outcome that lives in the future and just trying to get ahead of things. Supplies are drying up a little bit,” said Brandon Long, the gun manager at Kevin’s.

Bill and Jeanette Busby aren’t first time buyers, nor are they preppers.

“We’re going to go to the range and practice, and give her a little safety with it. But we’re not real big in guns,” said Bill.

Yeah that might be the sensible thing to do right now – just cut Florida off and let them sail into the Gulf Of Mexico. Maybe take Georgia with you. Sorry, Cuba! And let me get this straight – you’re buying a gun during one of the worst disasters in US history and you’re not a doomsday prepper? No, you’re a doomsday prepper, let’s not kid ourselves. At least with no gun show loophole, they’re choosing to get their guns legally. You know, tyranny and all.

As news of a worldwide coronavirus pandemic broke, many rushed to buy toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and guns.

"We had two to three weeks of an Armageddon-type of set up," said Alex Shkop, owner of Guns & Range Training Center in West Palm Beach.

For weeks, long lines could be seen outside gun stores in West Palm Beach with armed guards or law enforcement standing by to help with crowd control.

Numerous gun shop owners told WPTV Contact 5 on background that many purchasers were first-time gun owners.

"We had people that were basically openly admitting that they have never owned a gun, they have never used a gun," said Shkop. "They were purchasing firearms and they were asking questions like how to use them and how to take care of them. A lot of first-time buyer questions."

And yeah everyone, their mums, their dads, their pets, and their kids are packing heat in the Sunshine State. We kid all the time, but when you see stories like this, you know that things are really fucked up in Florida. And our extremely lax and loose gun laws in the world can even allow animals to get guns. Yup, you read that right!

Fla. - Florida authorities tracking a stolen car also discovered a little something unexpected — a baby alligator being kept as a pet.

Seminole County Sheriff Dennis Lemma held a press conference Friday to announce details of the arrest made the day before. A deputy ran a license plate number and discovered a car was stolen.

The deputy trailed the car to a Lake Mary home and stopped a separate car that was attempting to leave the driveway. Deputies found guns, heroin and cocaine in the car, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Inside the house, investigators found the baby alligator along with more drugs and guns. The sheriff’s office posted photos on its Facebook page.

[font size="4"]New Mexico[/font]

We saw in Florida how they have one of the highest concentrations of guns in this country. Now how are they matched with a state that has one of the highest concentrations of drugs in this country? Well, it’s a pretty solid match. And it’s no secret that the Great Pandemic has turned things upside down and inside out. Now let’s look at the exact opposite of Florida – New Mexico. While New Mexico may be underdogs in this tournament, their gun nuts mean business. So much that they are planning to sue the governor over gun shop closures.

The National Rifle Association and other pro-gun organizations on Friday filed a lawsuit against Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham for closing gun stores in New Mexico during the COVID-19 crisis.

The NRA and the other plaintiffs filed the case in U.S. District Court in Albuquerque, claiming the governor, as well as the state Department of Health and Secretary Kathyleen Kunkel, violated citizens’ Second and 14th amendment rights for not considering firearm stores “essential.”

As a result of Lujan Grisham’s order, all firearm-specific retailers and gun ranges in New Mexico are closed.

“It’s very important that, even in a situation such as this, people are able to exercise their basic and most fundamental rights,” said Cody Wisniewski of Mountain States Legal Foundation, one of the firms representing the plaintiffs.

Lujan Grisham extended the closure of many in-person businesses on Monday, including firearm stores, until April 30 in order “to minimize the spread of COVID-19.”

You tell ‘em Homer! What these gun nuts and religious zealots don’t understand is that these closures are just temporary! Temporary! They’re not permanent. And just like Florida, New Mexico’s gun owners are also having their fair share of problems, like inflated background checks. Well, you can’t say that the system isn’t getting used or anything!

Similar to many other states, New Mexico had a record-setting month in March for firearm background checks amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

The FBI performed 24,571 background checks in the state last month through its National Instant Criminal Background Check System, which does not account for how many guns each person buys.

The number exceeds that of any month in New Mexico since the FBI began tracking firearm background checks in 1998.

When compared with the number of background checks during the same time last year, the number had risen by 45%.

Gun stores around the state reported that sales skyrocketed after Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham declared a public health emergency on March 11, with many running low on different types of firearms and ammunition.

New Mexico also shares a border with actual Mexico. And remember two years ago when the migrant issue on the Border was a huge thing and there was that guy who formed his own militia to round up immigrants? Well it backfired and he got arrested, and last week he was finally sentenced. Yes, he got his just desserts.

A New Mexico man who had been described as a "commander" of a group accused of detaining migrants was sentenced to nearly two years in prison Wednesday for illegally possessing guns, prosecutors said.

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, 70, was sentenced to 21 months for being a felon in possession of a firearm, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of New Mexico said in a statement.

Hopkins pleaded guilty in January under a plea agreement and admitted to having possessed nine pistols, rifles and shotguns on Nov. 28, 2017, in San Juan County, the U.S. attorney's office said.

Hopkins is barred from owning guns because of previous convictions in Michigan, Oregon and South Dakota.


[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

No doubt about it, Florida utterly routed New Mexico and they have secured the first spot in the Final Four to play for the crown! Final score: 94 – 66. Florida - cut that net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re live at the home of the Chicago Blackhawks, the United Center in Chicago, IL for the Family Values Conference championships! #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for the Family Values crown!

See you next week!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 22, 2020, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well hello everyone. First off congratulations to Modern Family for 11 seasons and Schitts Creek for 6 seasons. Those are monumental achievements. I normally would congratulate the winner of the NCAA tournament this year, but there was no NCAA tournament this year. Fuck you coronavirus. his is our third consecutive home show. Yeah we will be doing these for a while until the pandemic and social distancing and isolation is over. So what’s there to do? Where do we go? The fact of the matter is that nobody likes to be isolated and this is getting ridiculous finding things to do while you’re holed up. And we, for one, can’t wait to get back to doing our full and proper live show. And I’m sure there’s a lot of live shows who want to do the same. But that said let’s talk about happier news before it’s all virus, all the time. So yesterday was both National Beer Day *AND* World Health Day. Is it any coincidence that these two days happen to fall on the same day? If it’s quarantine season then we got to do something to keep us occupied until this whole thing is over, so we might as well be drinking. And how – at least one industry we don’t have to worry about in the age of pandemic is the alcohol industry – they are thriving. Because what else is there to do when you can’t go outside? Let’s drink! And hey, I will gladly raise a toast to that! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into Trump’s favorite news network called OAN, and if you haven’t heard of them, they are pretty much a preview of what state run TV is going to look like:

Taking the first slot this week is SCOTUS. Yes, we have to talk about the Wisconsin decision that’s putting a lot of lives at stake because our voting system is so broken and well, it’s pure fucking evil.In the number two slot his week is Donald Trump (2). Fitting that Trump is taking the number two slot this week since everything he touches turns to shit. So there’s rumors that he might go golfing, while he sticks Jared Kushner in charge of the pandemic response. WHY?????? At slot #3 this week is The People Who Fire The Whistleblowers (3) which includes Trump firing Navy captain Brett Crozier who just informed his superiors about COVID taking over his ship, and Amazon firing a warehouse employee on Long Island who threatened a walk out. Why? Taking the 4th slot this week, there’s people making money from the pandemic, and there’s Senators who knew ahead of time that things would get this bad. So who did and how did they do it? At slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and why is heartburn drug Zantac being recalled? This seems like a bad time to be doing this. Taking the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, Christians are defying stay-at-home orders and congregating in large groups, but one pastor in Pennsylvania is set to take things to the next level. And our resident pastor is going to tell you why this is a really bad idea. At slot #7 this week, we have a new edition of our favorite segment Beating A Dead Horse (7) – after alt metal band Trapt went off the rails and full MAGA, they are suing their parody accounts that have sprung up on Twitter. Is this OK? Maybe not. Taking the #8 slot, our new segment Conspiracy Corner (8) returns for yet another go round, and this week, why are right wingers trying to film their local hospitals in an effort to discredit the media? I got news for you, they don’t have time for your bullshit! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new “I Need A Drink”. And this week, after a string of some incredibly bizarre and stupid crimes in the wake of the virus, is it safe to say that Jersey is the new Florida? Probably. Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 4! This week it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina to play Virginia in the finals! Meanwhile, over in the Family Values conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana to play reigning champion Alabama! The Elite 8 is beginning to shape up! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]SCOTUS
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In case you haven’t heard, we are in the middle of the worst public health crisis that hasn’t been seen in a century. And the last thing you want to do is put people’s lives in danger. That’s what the people of Wisconsin have been suing over. See, they had an election this week where a vital state supreme court seat was at stake. Now, Trump has been actively pimping out for the incumbent saying that he will protect your 2nd amendment rights. Now in the age of pandemic, guns really should be like last on the list of things to protect right? Well, we live in backwards fuck town, and we have this to deal with. So why is this election so important?

In Milwaukee, citizens were forced to choose between following public health orders to stay home and stand in line for hours at one of just five polling places the city kept open amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Across the state along the St. Croix River, a state senator who is her county’s chief medical examiner brought a homemade face mask to the polls because she didn’t want to take a surgical mask from her co-workers who will have to inspect the bodies of people who die from the coronavirus.

And everywhere in between, Wisconsinites reported an array of problems with absentee ballots. Some didn’t arrive, some couldn’t be legally witnessed and others were afraid to venture outside their homes to return their ballots by Tuesday night’s deadline.

It added up to an election almost certain to be tarred as illegitimate and contested by whichever side loses — especially if the conservative State Supreme Court Justice Daniel Kelly wins a full 10-year term.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So this is one of the worst choices that you could possibly make, like which half of the shit sandwich tastes the best. I would personally pick the left half because it has mustard on it. Because a shit sandwich with mustard on it, is still a shit sandwich. And you know how bad this is going to get? Well I will happily put on a hazmat suit to vote for Joe Biden. Especially after this.

Amid the global coronavirus outbreak and over the objections of a governor who tried to stop it at the last minute, Wisconsin held its election yesterday for the Democratic presidential nomination, state Supreme Court and several local offices. We won’t have actual results until Monday at the earliest, but at this point, we do know that the election experienced a number of setbacks.

Across the state, a shortage of poll workers led to the closure and consolidation of many polling places, which resulted in extremely long lines on Election Day. For example, Milwaukee — a city of almost 600,000 people — had just five polling places open (in normal circumstances, it would have 180 polling places). As a result, wait times in Milwaukee averaged one and a half to two hours, with some voters waiting as long as two and a half hours to cast their ballots. In Green Bay, a city of 105,000 that downsized from 31 polling places to just two, some voters waited nearly three hours. Long lines were also reported in the Milwaukee suburb of Waukesha, which was forced to consolidate to one polling place for its population of 70,000. But in cities where fewer polling places closed, there seemed to be fewer hiccups. For example, Madison (a city less than half Milwaukee’s size) kept 66 polling places open (compared with 92 normally), and there were no major reports of lines at them.

Everywhere, though, election officials took extraordinary measures to keep voters safe. Plexiglass barriers were erected at many polling places to separate poll workers from voters. And in Fitchburg, a suburb of Madison, poll workers were instructed to wipe down voting equipment every 15 minutes. In the small city of Lake Mills, voter Jonathan McLaughlin told FiveThirtyEight he was given hand sanitizer on his way into the polling place, and each voter was given a fresh Bic pen with which to vote (they were told to either keep it or throw it away when they were done). And according to Kelly Westlund, who was working the polls in Ashland, a city of 8,000 in northern Wisconsin, she and her team sanitized their hands and the voting equipment regularly and made sure voters kept at least six feet apart. All the poll workers in Ashland were also provided with masks from local hat manufacturer Stormy Kromer.

Yes, this is literally playing with fire here. And you know how much fire this is? Well picture a burning building. Now picture fucking Godzilla attacking that burning building while pouring kerosene on it and sulfur reigns down on it. That’s about the extent of the severity of this. And assuming this coronavirus drags on all year guess what? they’re setting things up so they can steal the election in November from Biden! That’s where this is headed. The dominoes are in place.

Three weeks ago, I wrote that the real threat to the 2020 election is not that Donald Trump will use the coronavirus to try to cancel it but that Republicans will try to steal it, state by state, county by county. In an election in which a record number of people may attempt to vote by absentee ballot, Republican state officials can choose simply to mail ballots to people in counties that traditionally vote for Republicans—and not mail enough ballots to the far more populous counties that traditionally vote for Democrats. In so doing, they can slant the general election toward Donald Trump and other Republicans running for election without Trump having to go through all the bother of declaring himself “dictator for life,” which might spook Mitt Romney.

Last night, the Supreme Court gave Republicans the go-ahead to proceed with that scheme. You don’t need an army to cross the Rubicon when you have henchmen on the Supreme Court willing to do all the dirty work.

The case before the Supreme Court involved today’s federal primary election in Wisconsin. The Democratic governor of the state, Tony Evers, asked the Republican-controlled state Legislature to move back the date of the election, like so many other states have done, amid concerns over Covid-19. The Legislature said no, deliberating for all of 17 seconds on the matter. Evers then asked the Legislature to mail absentee ballots to every voter in Wisconsin. The Republicans said no. Yesterday afternoon, Evers issued an executive order moving the election to June 9. But the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Supreme Court overruled him by nightfall.

Yes, holy shit indeed! If the fact that they didn’t even spend a full minute debating this reckless disregard for life should fucking terrify you, then nothing will! Just how evil is this decision? Well it’s pretty damn evil and everyone from Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Bernie Sanders to Biden himself has been decrying this decision because it will put people’s lives at stake. The coronavirus is nothing to fuck around with, and SCOTUS put party over country with this one. Well guess what? COVID-19 doesn’t care which side you vote for. We’re all sitting ducks, and this made it worse.

On Monday, by a 5–4 vote, the U.S. Supreme Court approved one of the most brazen acts of voter suppression in modern history. The court will nullify the votes of citizens who mailed in their ballots late—not because they forgot, but because they did not receive ballots until after Election Day due to the coronavirus pandemic. As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote in dissent, the court’s order “will result in massive disenfranchisement.” The conservative majority claimed that its decision would help protect “the integrity of the election process.” In reality, it calls into question the legitimacy of the election itself.

Wisconsin has long been scheduled to hold an election on April 7. There are more than 3,800 seats on the ballot, and a crucial state Supreme Court race. But the state’s ability to conduct in-person voting is imperiled by COVID-19. Thousands of poll workers have dropped out for fear of contracting the virus, forcing cities to shutter dozens of polling places. Milwaukee, for example, consolidated its polling locations from 182 to five, while Green Bay consolidated its polling locations from 31 to two. Gov. Tony Evers asked the Republican-controlled Legislature to postpone the election, but it refused. So he tried to delay it himself with an executive order on Monday. But the Republican-dominated state Supreme Court reinstated the election, thereby forcing voters to choose between protecting their health and exercising their right to vote.

Because voters are rightfully afraid of COVID-19, Wisconsin has been caught off guard by a surge in requests for absentee ballots. Election officials simply do not have time, resources, or staff to process all those requests. As a result, a large number of voters—at least tens of thousands—won’t get their ballots until after Election Day. And Wisconsin law disqualifies ballots received after that date. In response, last Thursday, a federal district court ordered the state to extend the absentee ballot deadline. It directed officials to count votes mailed after Election Day so long as they were returned by April 13. A conservative appeals court upheld his decision.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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OK you know how you get that feeling when someone says one thing and then turns around and does that thing that they accuse the other person of? Well, Trump and the republicans do that often, and very frequently. Well, after spending the better part of last year accusing Hunter Biden of nepotism, Trump goes around and appoints Jared Kusher to head the pandemic response team. Yes, that’s right – he went to Jared. Damn it, I’ve been saving that one for 3 years and I can’t tell it in front of a live audience. This bites. Fuck this virus. But yeah this is the exact kind of person who you don’t put in charge of a pandemic – a millionaire slum lord. And I say that because Jared Kusher ran his apartment complexes into the ground. So yeah you don’t want him in charge of something like this.

As the coronavirus task force gathered for their now-daily press briefing, a familiar figure joined them on stage: President Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner.

"Today you're going hear from Jared Kushner, senior adviser to the President of the United States, but someone that the White House Coronavirus Task Force directed to work with FEMA on supply chain issues," explained Vice President Mike Pence. "And in recent weeks, he has been leading a working group, in conjunction with FEMA, that literally has identified millions of medical supplies around the nation and around the world. And we're grateful for his efforts and his leadership."
Er, OK?

Kushner, it would appear, has insinuated himself into a prominent role in coordinating the administration's coronavirus response despite no obvious qualifications -- he isn't a doctor, an infectious disease expert or someone who has run large organizations -- for such a prominent role.

"Because of his unique status, he has made himself the point of contact for many agency officials who know that he can force action and issue decisions without going to the president. But while Mr. Kushner and his allies say that he has brought more order to the process, the government's response remains fragmented and behind the curve."

What unique status? The only reason he has a unique status is that he happens to be married to your girlfriend, er, daughter Ivanka. Yeah that got weird didn’t it? I would expect groaning and moaning from a live audience over that joke. But no, you’re sticking with me. Yeah I keep dwelling on the fact that I have no audience but I am dealing with it. Back on topic, oh yeah letting Jared do this is an extremely bad idea. And conspiracy theorists know that having the word “shadow” when describing their unit means that it is fucking shady to begin with. So why are they OK with this?

The twist of fate that has cast Jared Kushner as a would-be savior in the greatest public health crisis to confront the United States in a century is a dramatic one.

The moment of national peril has been compared to September 11. Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, said coronavirus was her country’s greatest challenge since the second world war.

As the leader of the federal government effort to distribute emergency equipment to the states, Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, has mostly shied from the public stage, but he now is working in history’s spotlight.

His vast responsibilities include weighing requests from governors for aid and coordinating with private companies to obtain medical equipment, work he carries out from a special post created for him inside the Federal Emergency Management Agency, where his team is called “the Slim Suit crowd” for their distinctive tailoring, the New York Times has reported.

Kushner’s team was credited with coordinating a planeload of medical supplies that arrived in the US from China last week.

Yeah except when most people go to Jared, they get excited because it means they’re getting married, or they’re getting a ridiculous piece of jewelry they can’t possibly afford! This Jared, on the other hand is a literal fuck up. In fact he fucks things up so much that he should get a cover story on “Fuck Up Of The Year” magazine! If such a magazine existed. But we don’t have to tell you that this is a really terrible idea.

Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law and senior adviser, criticized governors Thursday, saying they don't have a handle on their own supplies of masks and ventilators needed to combat the coronavirus outbreak.

In a rare appearance in the White House briefing room, Kushner urged governors and some senators to be more resourceful in their own states instead of looking first to the federal government for help.

"What a lot of the voters are seeing now is that when you elect somebody to be a mayor or governor or president, you're trying to think about who will be a competent manager during the time of crisis," he said. "This is a time of crisis, and you're seeing certain people are better managers than others."

Kushner, a real estate executive with no public health expertise, generally works behind scenes at the White House. So, critics have been curious about his role in the administration's efforts to confront the coronavirus pandemic.

And honestly that’s kind of what Trump did. He put a fucking real estate executive in charge of the worst health crisis not seen in an entire century. Maybe he should put, I don’t know, people who know shit about public health in charge! Is it any fucking wonder why people don’t trust the government? Yeah let’s put a guy in charge of housing in a health crisis. That’s an epic fail no matter how you look at it. And yes, this will end badly. Just look at how it went this week!

Members of a White House coronavirus task force were ordered to work from home after one person’s partner tested positive for the virus, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) said in an email to staff.

The email said all staff on the supply chain sub task force who worked on a certain floor of a FEMA building in Washington, D.C., are required to telework starting Tuesday. The person, described by FEMA as a “partner” who is a federal employee, visited FEMA headquarters in Washington.

A FEMA spokesperson told The Hill that "at no time" did the person who tested positive "or any other known to have contact with them, come within six feet of any other Task Force principal for a prolonged period of time."

Admiral John Polowczyk, who is leading the sub task force, was listed as a recipient of the email, according to NBC. The unit he leads is tasked with acquiring, shipping and distributing equipment to combat the coronavirus. On Thursday, Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) urged Trump to tap a supply director. The president told him to stop “complaining”.

Read more: https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/491569-white-house-coronavirus-unit-ordered-to-work-from-home-after-positive

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[font size="8"]The Fate Of Captain Crozier
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WHO FIRED THE WHISTLEBLOWERS??? OK why am I shouting? I am doing this out of my house, there’s no audience right now. But yeah if you’ve been following the absolutely shocking and horrifying developments out of the US Navy, and you’re not looking with absolute horror, then you sir or madam, have no soul. Because when you see what happened with Captain Brett Crozier, the longtime captain of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, it is truly stunning what happened. He sounded the alarm about COVID being on his ship, and guess what? He got fired! Because that’s how Trump rolls. Yeah so last week reports of the horrid disease aboard USS Roosevelt started spreading. And here’s what Trump did.

The episode I’m about to mention has been receiving saturation social-media attention for the past few hours, as I write. But because the accelerating torrent of news tends to blast away each day’s events and make them hard to register—even a moment like this, which I expect will be included in histories of our times—I think it is worth noting this episode while it is fresh.

Until a few days ago, Brett Crozier would have been considered among the U.S. Navy’s most distinguished commanders.

He graduated from the Naval Academy in 1992 and then entered training as a naval aviator. He was qualified first as a helicopter pilot, and then in the Navy’s F/A-18 fighter planes. He was deployed aboard the aircraft carrier Nimitz during the Iraq war, and he held an ascending series of staff and command jobs—as you can read in his Pentagon biography, here. He received a master’s degree from the Naval War College; he became executive officer (second in command) of the nuclear-powered carrier Ronald Reagan; and he became commander of the amphibious ship Blue Ridge. Then late last year, as a Navy captain, he took command of the Nimitz-class nuclear carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt and the 4,000-plus people in its crew.

Last week, coronavirus sickness spread rapidly among the Roosevelt’s crew members. Five days ago, on Sunday, Matthias Gafni and Joe Garofoli of the San Francisco Chronicle published an email by Crozier, addressed to his naval superiors, asking that the ship be diverted from its normal duties so that sick crew members could be treated and the spread of disease could be slowed. Gafni and Garofoli did not say how they had received the email, but it had been copied to a large number of recipients and not marked as sensitive; Crozier must have known it was likely to become public when he sent it.

Well yes, ladies I would absolutely agree with you! And it gets worse. Oh it gets so much worse my friends who are braving with me on this home edition. I’m not even going to acknowledge that he has COVID, because you probably already knew that. And you probably also knew that Trump most likely didn’t read Capt. Crozier’s letter, and if you think he did, well, I’ve got a bottle of silver solution to sell you for $59.99.

It was a send-off for the ages, with hundreds of sailors aboard the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt cheering Capt. Brett E. Crozier, the commander who sacrificed his naval career by writing a letter to his superiors demanding more help as the novel coronavirus spread through the ship.

The rousing show of support provided the latest gripping scene to emerge from the coronavirus pandemic: the rank and file shouting their admiration for a boss they viewed as putting their safety ahead of his career.

The memes were quick to sprout on social media. On Reddit, one depicted Captain Crozier forced to choose between rescuing his career or his sailors from a burning building; he chooses his sailors. On Twitter, a slew of videos showed Captain Crozier’s walk down the gangway in Guam, most of them depicting him as a hero struck down by his superiors for trying to save the lives of his crew. “Wrongfully relieved of command but did right by sailors,” wrote Twitter user Dylan Castillo, alongside a video of Captain Crozier leaving his ship.

But in removing Captain Crozier from command, senior Navy officials said they were protecting the historic practice that complaints and requests have to go up a formal chain of command. They argued that by sending his concerns to 20 or 30 people in a message that eventually leaked to news organizations, Captain Crozier showed he was no longer fit to lead the fast-moving effort to treat the crew and clean the ship.

Oh come on, we kid! We kid! Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to go out on? We love our Navy brothers and sisters here! But this is one of those things that fall under the “everything Trump touches dies” category. Yes, he probably didn’t read the letter. Yes, he probably fired the captain, and the captain’s replacement. Because he’s Trump. He’s now turned things into a literal revolving door.

The Navy secretary resigned Tuesday in a mushrooming controversy over the firing of a popular aircraft carrier captain who warned about coronavirus endangering his sailors.

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly quit a day after he was recorded telling sailors on the virus-stricken USS Theodore Roosevelt that fired Capt. Brett Crozier was “either too stupid or too naive” to lead them.

Modly was left swinging in the wind after President Trump apparently reversed his previous support for the tone-deaf dismissal of Crozier.

The president slammed Modly’s blunt remarks as “rough” on Monday. Hours before Modly’s resignation, the president retweeted a prediction that he would soon “get involved” in Crozier’s ouster.

Modly issued a written apology late Monday but that failed to quell demands for his head.

Yeah it’s just like that. So Trump fired Capt. Crozier, then he fired the Navy secretary, and he will most likely fire the acting Navy secretary. Because like I said, everything he touches dies. He’s the literal opposite of King Midas. But in case you’re wondering, if you think our hospitals are bad now, well, Navy hospitals really aren’t much better. In fact this might be a good topic for a future Top 10 Investigates.

The U.S. Navy generated glowing headlines and cheering crowds when deploying its hospital ships Mercy and Comfort to Los Angeles and New York City respectively. But the ships are both pushing 50 years old and need replacing, and what those replacements will look like is anything but certain.

Both ships were converted super-tankers designed for providing care for combat casualties. And while both ships have combat deployments under their belts during Operation Desert Storm and Operation Iraqi Freedom, they are far more frequently used for disaster relief and medical outreach missions across the globe.

During nearly 35 years of service, the distinctive white hulls and red crosses have become symbols of American soft power abroad and, occasionally, the symbol of the Defense Department pitching in at home. The Comfort was deployed during Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans and in 2017 to Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Both Mercy and Comfort today are providing emergency care in Los Angeles and New York to free up civilian hospitals to focus on COVID-19 patients.

But much like the bulk of the surge sealift fleet, the ships run on outdated steam plants that fewer and fewer mariners know how to operate and maintain. And, like classic cars, they need constant care and attention to keep in working order. In 2018, the Navy proposed decommissioning one of the ships in 2021, but was blocked by Congress.

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[font size="8"]Who’s Profiting From The Pandemic???
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By now everyone knows that the first case of the highly contagious and very deadly coronavirus was confirmed by the WHO on 12/31/19. And we know that in that length of time, Trump went golfing 6 times, held 3 fundraisers and also held 5 MAGA rallies. During that whole time he downplayed the true dangers of this deadly disease. And while we were being distracted, the Senate knew that it was coming, and what they did next will make your blood fucking boil. Guess what they did? They profited off the pandemic. Yes, they sold stocks that they knew were going to tank because of this thing, before the stock market went into a free fall. Hold your boos.

Four senators sold stocks shortly after a January briefing in the Senate on the novel coronavirus outbreak, unloading shares that plummeted in value a month later as the stock market crashed in the face of a global pandemic.

According to financial disclosure forms, Sens. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.), James Inhofe (R-Okla.), Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Richard Burr (R-N.C.) each sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in stocks within days of the Senate holding a classified briefing on Jan. 24 with Trump administration officials on the threat of the coronavirus outbreak.

The sales raise questions about whether the senators violated the STOCK Act, a law that bans members of Congress from making financial trades based on nonpublic information.

Loeffler and her husband, who is the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, sold at least $355,000 in stocks from Jan. 24-31, according to Senate records, after the coronavirus briefing hosted by the Senate Health and Foreign Relations committees.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Normally this would be a number one entry in the Top 10 any other week but in this world that’s been upended by the virus, this gets bumped to number 4! I mean there’s no way that anyone involved in this should get a “get out of jail free” card. While we’re scrambling to find supplies, these monsters profited. And they should not be allowed to get away with it!

Senator Richard Burr has called for an ethics investigation into himself and three other senators who sold off stock after receiving classified briefings on the coronavirus threat.

Burr—a North Carolina Republican who is chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee—sold up to $1.72 million in stock through Feb. 13, shortly before reassuring the public that the government had a handle on the coronavirus response. A week later, the S&P 500 Index started what would become a 30% drop, wiping out most gains made since President Donald Trump's inauguration.

In a tweet on Friday, Burr denied any wrongdoing, saying that he “relied solely on public news reports” to inform his decisions.

Here’s how well those stocks performed after he sold them.

Another senator under scrutiny, Georgia Republican Kelly Loeffler, sold off millions of dollars worth of stock beginning on Jan. 24, the day the health committee she sits on was briefed by U.S. public-health officials.

You got that right sir! This is unquestionably what one might call a “dick move”. And it’s such a dick move that they knew this was coming and rather than sound they alarm, they opened up their wallets because, why not? This is America!! This is huge, and this is certainly one of the most evil, egregious acts that has ever happened. Crap, they put Martha Stewart away for less than this! Just how bad is this whole thing? Well it gets worse!

Sen. Kelly Loeffler of Georgia and her husband, Intercontinental Exchange Chairman Jeff Sprecher, disclosed additional stock trades as they faced criticism for dumping shares before the market plummeted over the coronavirus crisis, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported on Tuesday.

Last month, both Loeffler and Sprecher, who is also the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, came under scrutiny for selling hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock before the market's drop.

The Daily Beast reported last month that after she attended a January 24 closed-door US Senate briefing on the COVID-19 outbreak, Loeffler sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in shares of Resideo Technologies, Comcast, AutoZone, and more before the decline and also bought up shares in Citrix, a company that makes telecommuting software.

On Tuesday, The Journal-Constitution reported that newly disclosed stock transactions from early March involved the sale of retail stocks, which have seen a sharp decline as the industry suffers from the outbreak. Loeffler sold over $70,000 in shares of the retailer Ross on March 4 and 5; $27,000 in shares of TJX Cos., the parent company of TJ Maxx; and over $56,000 in shares of Lululemon, a popular athleisure clothing brand.

I wouldn’t go that far, but considering over twice as many people have died from this wretched virus as have died in 9/11, it’s not that far of a stretch. So we know that four senators have made untold money on this deadly pandemic. Not only did they dump retail stocks, it gets worse! They also dumped travel stocks because they knew a travel ban is coming. These are people who are going to have to answer for their crimes.

Senator Kelly Loeffler sold a total of $46,027 worth of stock in an online travel company in the day leading up to President Donald Trump’s announcement of a ban on most European travel to the U.S.

Though the transactions were relatively small for Loeffler and her husband -- whose net worth is estimated at more than $500 million -- the sales represented an about-face.

Loeffler, a Georgia Republican, had just days earlier purchased the shares, in Booking Holdings, jointly with her husband, Jeffrey Sprecher, the chief executive officer of Intercontinental Exchange, parent firm of the New York Stock Exchange

Booking Holdings provides online bookings for flights, hotels and other travel-related services, all of which have collapsed because of the Covid-19 pandemic.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Zantac Recall
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Drugs. We need them now more than ever in the day and age of a killer virus roaming the landscape. In this time though, a recall of a major drug used to fight heartburn isn’t exactly the headlines that we need to hear right now. But your heartburn medication along with a whole bunch of other ones might be contaminated. How did this happen and who allowed it to happen? Well in the case where the cure might be worse than the disease, you can always count on the American FDA to produce a recall of the drug when we most need it. And for how long has this been going on? Well, you might very well be at risk if you require this medication.

(CNN)The US Food and Drug Administration is requesting that manufacturers pull all prescription and over-the-counter ranitidine drugs, known by the brand name Zantac, from the market immediately, the agency announced on Wednesday.

The FDA noted that an ongoing investigation has determined that levels of a contaminant in the heartburn medications increase over time and when stored at higher-than-normal temperatures, pose a risk to public health.

The contaminant, N-nitrosodimethylamine or NDMA, is a probable human carcinogen and the FDA has been investigating levels of it in ranitidine since the summer of 2019.

"We didn't observe unacceptable levels of NDMA in many of the samples that we tested," Dr. Janet Woodcock, director of the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, said in Wednesday's announcement.

"However, since we don't know how or for how long the product might have been stored, we decided that it should not be available to consumers and patients unless its quality can be assured," Woodcock said in part. "The FDA will continue our efforts to ensure impurities in other drugs do not exceed acceptable limits so that patients can continue taking medicines without concern."

No this drug doesn’t do that unfortunately. It treats heartburn and that’s about it. And that’s part of what fears about a coronavirus cure could bring – the risk of contamination. So why is the NDMA so important in these drugs? Well in the day and age of a deadly disease, you don’t want to risk getting further contaminated with anything because that could end really badly for you. But it is good that they caught it before it got really bad.

New Haven, Connecticut-based Valisure said the FDA should recall Sanofi’s Zantac and all other ranitidine products “to protect the American public from further exposure to the potentially carcinogenic properties of Ranitidine,” according to the petition, which was posted to a federal website Wednesday.

Then, in early January, another lab, Emery Pharma, filed its own citizen petition informing the FDA that its testing determined the level of the suspected carcinogen NDMA can increase if the drug is exposed to high heat, even after it has been packaged.

"Our preliminary data indicate that NDMA accumulates in ranitidine-containing drug products on exposure to elevated temperatures, which would be routinely reached during shipment and during storage. More importantly, these conditions occur post-lot release by the manufacturer. Hence, while NDMA levels in ranitidine may be acceptable at the source, they may not be so when the drug is purchased and subsequently at the time of consumption by the consumer," the petition says.

In a statement today, Valisure CEO David Light said, "Very glad that Valisure's laboratory testing has had such an impact and we strongly support and applaud FDA's decision to remove all ranitidine products from the market,"

That might be one of the side effects of that drug, actually! So as far as drugs go, this highlights the need to test them regularly for impurities and imperfections. But we also need a world where you can take a drug without worrying about the horrifying side effects. Much like the pharmaceutical ads where they spend most of the time talking about said side effects. But really this highlights a potentially broken part of our healthcare system that needs to be fixed.

Thanks to decades of regulatory oversight and pharmacovigilance, we tend to take for granted the quality and safety of our most used medicines. Sometimes, though, the challenges and complexities of ensuring this peace of mind are thrown into the spotlight. Recently, potentially carcinogenic nitrosamine impurities were found to be present in commercially available drug products. This discovery, and the measures taken to quickly mitigate any risks, highlight the role of advancing analytical technology in safeguarding consumer health.

In September 2019, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) reported unacceptable levels of N-nitrosodimethylamine (NDMA), a probable human carcinogen, in several batches of the heartburn medication ranitidine (Zantac) [1], which prompted a large-scale product recall. Coming little over a year after similar findings triggered a recall of batches of the angiotensin II receptor blocker (ARB) valsartan [2], the ranitidine results meant an increased focus on this impurity, its risks and, in particular, its detection. One outcome has been the adoption of novel analytical methods developed using the latest high-resolution accurate mass (HRAM) mass spectrometry techniques, which are helping overcome some of the limitations of previous approaches to nitrosamine detection.

Certain pharmaceutical manufacturing processes can result in the production of genotoxic impurities (GTIs), such as NDMA and other nitrosamines, many of which are potentially carcinogenic, even at low levels. Consequently, regulatory authorities closely monitor drug products for these compounds.

Documentation from the European Medicines Agency (EMA) highlights potential sources of nitrosamine formation and contamination in ARB drugs [3]. These include specific active pharmaceutical ingredient (API) processing conditions and materials, the use of sodium and other nitrites in the presence of secondary or tertiary amines, and the inclusion of contaminated raw materials in API production. Of note is the significant challenge posed by vendor-sourced raw and starting materials, particularly because an API manufacturer whose own process is incapable of producing nitrosamines may be unaware of the risk of such impurities being present.

Well it’s not weed but if you take Zantac and you need it, what are the alternatives? For one thing, remain calm. There’s plenty of heartburn medication alternatives out there, and you don’t need a commercial from Larry The Cable Guy to tell you which one to take. If you’ve been taking Zantac, then there’s plenty of other ways you can get what you need when you need it.

“As a result of this immediate market withdrawal request, ranitidine products will not be available for new or existing prescriptions or OTC use in the U.S.,” the FDA concluded.
So, what should you do if you’ve been taking Zantac?

First, don’t freak out. Experts don’t know what this means at this point. “I have been giving this medication for the last 30 years and I have not seen anything concerning—but you cannot be sure,” says Ashkan Farhadi, M.D., a gastroenterologist at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, Calif. He points out that, as of now, there are no reports of any cancer cases related to Zantac use.

Still, that’s not a risk you want to take. If you have a box of the medication at home, the FDA recommends that you safely dispose of it. (They have steps on how to do this online.)

If you’ve taken Zantac here and there, it’s probably not something you should be concerned about, says Robert Weber, Pharm.D., pharmacy administrator at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Even if you’ve been a heavy user of the medication, it’s still unclear what, exactly, that could mean for your overall health, Dr. Farhadi says. “This is just hypothetical at this point,” he says.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! We are conducting yet another online meeting since we cannot convene in the holy temple! The Holy Church is currently closed so we’re going virtual until it is safe to convene in the Holy Church again. That said, a lot of our brothers and sisters on the right still refuse to take this thing seriously. So much in fact that there’s one guy in Pennsylvania who is planning to take the anti-quarantine to the next level. In fact he is going to do the opposite of a quarantine and hold a giant gathering with all the things that the modern Christian loves! But did anyone ever stop to tell him that this is a really bad idea?

A Pittsburgh area pastor says he plans to organize a large, Woodstock-like outdoor Easter service to protest the stay-at-home orders amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

Conservative Christian Pastor Jonathan Shuttlesworth made the announcement on social media after the arrests of pastors in the U.S. for failing to comply with state-at-home orders.

“How do you lay hands on people online? How do you baptize people online? How do you anoint with oil and lay hands on the sick?” he asked.

He said the government is infringing on the rights of people to assemble for religion.

He said the large outdoor gathering will be “like Woodstock.”

Now I hope Mr. Shuttlesworth will be visited by the 3 spirits during the night to tell him why this is a bad idea, but then again I am reminded that is a work of fiction and not in any way grounded in reality! So instead I will do that. Because in the time of the great pandemic, we need to be reminded of why this is a terrible idea! And that is if a group of us gets this terrible virus, then it will set off a chain in which a lot of us will get sick and die as a result! And that’s not something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it?

On Sunday, the pastor of Cross Culture Christian Center in Lodi, Calif., was greeted by several police officers in the parking lot about an hour before he intended to hold an in-person service despite coronavirus restrictions.

Pastor Jon Duncan, whose small evangelical church leases space in Bethel Open Bible Church, arrived Sunday morning, Palm Sunday, to find that Bethel, which stopped having in-person services on March 15, had changed the locks on the building to prevent his congregants from entering, Lodi Police Lt. Michael Manetti told The Times.

Duncan had continued to hold in-person services for Cross Culture Christian Center amid the coronavirus outbreak.

“We’re going to meet as often as we can meet, and we do believe that this right is protected by the 1st Amendment and should be considered essential,” Duncan said in an interview with KTXL-TV last week.

Yeah but not that badly, miss! In fact that’s just one congregation, and I am not in the least surprised that it’s Bethel! But they are not the only ones that are defying what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? So death or church? That is the decision that we must make in this trying time. But when JAYSUS would make a sacrifice for the greater good, it appears his fellow evangelicals… are not willing to do the same!

HAMMOND — Police ticketed a church and its elders Sunday for refusing to disperse their congregation to comply with Gov. Eric Holcomb's "shelter in place" order, Mayor Thomas McDermott said.

More than 30 parishioners were inside The Church of Christ, which occupies a small building at 169th and Leland streets in Hammond, and more were pulling up in the parking lot when officers arrived about 9:50 a.m., he said.

Some of the worshipers wore masks, but others did not, McDermott said.

Holcomb issued a "stay at home" order that took effect March 24 in response to the global coronavirus pandemic. The directive prohibits public gatherings of more than 10 people and orders all Hoosiers to stay home unless traveling for activities deemed essential.

According to data released Sunday by the state, the virus has killed more than 125 people in Indiana and sickened more than 4,400. More than 335,000 confirmed cases have been reported across the U.S., according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University.

Yes but do we need JAYSUS that badly sir? Everything can wait right now, the only thing should be getting rid of this most wicked of viruses! But if you want to see the dire consequences of your actions, I know everyone is tense and not getting social interaction right now. Before you go attending Pastor Shuttlesworth’s convention there’s something that you should know before hand – if you go to church right now, you’ll probably get it. I’m just saying it happens!

Nearly a third of Sacramento County’s coronavirus cases are connected to churches, officials said Wednesday, a discovery this week that has prompted alarmed county officials to issue a special plea for congregations to stop holding services and prayer groups.

County health chief Dr. Peter Beilenson said his office is asking congregations to hold services and fellowship meetings via Zoom, Skype or some other virtual platform - but not in person.

Speaking Wednesday morning, Beilenson said more than 100 of the county’s 314 cases of coronavirus infections are connected to church groups.

That includes 24 infections spread among one church whose congregants have continued to hold in-person fellowship meetings during the growing pandemic. Beilenson declined to name the church.

Another church, Faith Presbyterian Church in Sacramento, has had two parishioners die from the virus and a total of five people test positive for the virus. But church officials note that they halted in-person church services after March 8 and fully shut down their buildings on March 12, one full week before Sacramento County officials issued a shelter-in-place order.

Yes, the devil walks among us, and until we rid ourselves of the devil virus, expect this to keep happening over and over! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots: Suing Your Parody Account
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OK, MAGAs and Trump fans, let me teach you a little something about comedy. Because we’re here to educate as well as entertain. And look, we’re all stuck at home during this Great Quarantine. And nobody likes it. We’re all bored as shit. Netflix can only get you so far. But here’s the thing I want to tell you – if you can dish it out, you’d better damn well be prepared to take it. Because if you can’t take it, then who’s the real snowflake in that picture? Hint: It’s you!!! Now there’s a couple of incidents of this. The first is the Twitter parody account made famous by John Oliver – Devin Nunes’ Cow (@devincow). And we will get to that in a minute. The other right now is the 90s alternative metal band Trapt, who recently went full MAGA on a group of trolls. And you don’t go full MAGA or it will end badly for you.

Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown has now been taking on haters via Twitter for over two weeks. The latest installment of the social media epic features a Trapt parody account, which Brown has now threatened to sue.

Initially, Brown responded to actor Chris Evans on Twitter after he criticized one of President Trump’s press conferences on coronavirus. Along with defending Trump’s handling of the coronavirus epidemic and the president’s use of the term “Chinese virus,” Brown has been stating that white privilege doesn’t exist while defending himself against Twitter users labeling him as racist and xenophobic.

After online fights with over a dozen rock and metal bands, a Trapt parody account appeared, which at first, was almost indistinguishable from the official @TRAPTOFFICIAL account. Instead, the second ‘I’ in “OFFICIAL” was replaced with a lowercase L, leaving the lack of a verified check mark as the only noticeable different between the official and parody Trapt pages.

Brown eventually noticed the account and threatened to sue the mystery tweeter:

It’s not going to be hard to find out who you are and sue you... You know that right? Screenshots of the whole thing. In order to violate our impersonation policy, the account must portray another entity in a misleading or deceptive manner. Many tweets u sent have done this. Bye

Yeah you can dish it out but you sure can’t take it! Now here’s where this whole thing gets weird, and you knew it was going to. Because in the day and age of coronavirus, where there’s uncertaintly, angst and anxiety in everyone, everywhere, you got to latch on to whatever entertainment you can get your hands on. But I do love that the people who take things to the next level.

A parody Twitter account surfaced recently amid a string of Twitter-beefs that Trapt’s official account engaged in. In the span of just a few days, Trapt had spats with Captain America’s Chris Evans, Chris Fronzak of Attila, Tilian Pearson of Dance Gavin Dance, Telle Smith of the Word Alive, I Prevail, and Silent Planet.

The beef first started after Evans called out President Trump for his handling of the coronavirus. Trapt’s official account tweeted that Trump’s actions are the only reason the pandemic isn’t worse.

The argument-by-tweet then turned into a spat of who was more relevant and who made more money. In the end, Fronzak tweeted how “amazing” it was to see Trapt get “bodied by Warped Tour Twitter.”

Then, fans and bands saw a tweet from the Trapt parody account saying that the posers would not be able to play their iconic hit, “Headstrong.” The tweet also said the band itself couldn’t play the song since they have not “played a real guitar on stage since George W Bush was [president].”

This new parody poster features Trapt and three of the bands who were involved in the Twitter beef—I Prevail, Silent Planet and the Word Alive—as supporting acts. At present, it is unclear who originally made the poster as it makes the rounds on Twitter.

Yup, see you in court! Now you would think that Mr. Brown would be alone in suing his parody account, but nope, he is definitely not the only one! Let’s now switch subjects and talk about our old buddy Devin Nunes. Remember when he sued the Twitter handle called “Devin Nunes Cow “ (@devincow)? Well, let’s check in and see how that is going! Really, Devin’s ego should be last on our list of things to worry about right now.

Twitter in a new court filing argues that California Republican Rep. Devin Nunes cannot sue the social media company over disparaging remarks made by anonymous writers because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users.

The document represents Twitter’s second attempt to ask a Virginia judge to dismiss the defamation case Nunes, R-Tulare, filed last year against the San Francisco company along with Republican political strategist Liz Mair and two anonymous writers who heckle the congressman online under the personas of his mother and his cow.

Previously, Twitter argued it could not be sued in Virginia because Nunes accepted a user agreement that directs lawsuits against the company to California courts, and because any political harm Nunes might have suffered because of online criticism would have occurred in his San Joaquin Valley district.

A judge in the Richmond-based court ruled against that motion in October, finding that Mair lived in Virginia when she posted tweets about Nunes.

In the new motion filed Wednesday, Twitter said Nunes’ claims that Twitter had neglected to take action against users who he says defamed him contradicted a law that protects companies like Twitter from liability in cases just like this.

Yeah so if you’re caught in a lawsuit like this, you can use this as your defense, and it is directly mocking you. Because hey, a cow doesn’t have opposable thumbs and can’t use Twitter. Devin Nunes doesn’t have a soul and therefore can’t be a real person. Can he? I don’t know, I am just speculating. But here’s the thing – if you sue your own parody account, the real joke is you. Because you clearly can’t take one as much as you can dish it out. Just ask Devin Nunes or that Trapt guy.

Twitter has filed a new motion to dismiss a $250 million lawsuit by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) against the company and two parody Twitter accounts that mocked him.

Nunes sued Twitter and @DevinCow and @DevinNunesMom (now suspended) last year, claiming Twitter failed to take action against comments he claimed defamed him. His lawsuit triggered an explosion in the number of followers of the parody accounts.

Twitter argued in a new court filing Wednesday that Nunes can’t sue the social media company for remarks in the parody accounts because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users, The Fresno Bee reported.

“Congress granted providers of online platforms like Twitter broad immunity from claims that seek to hold them liable for harms caused by defamatory or otherwise harmful content that appeared on the provider’s platform but were created by third parties,” the motion to dismiss says.

Nunes argued in his suit last year that Twitter limits conservative viewpoints on its platform due to bias.

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to Conspiracy Corner – the segment where you can nurture your tin foil hat and go full truther if your heart so desires! Well in the time of the Great Pandemic, naturally, there’s going to be conspiracies. Last week we talked about the bizarre theory that celebrities are purposefully using a tainted batch of adrenochrome, a drug used to treat mental illness, as a way of purposefully getting COVID-19. And if that sentence makes absolutely no sense, you’re not alone. This week, conservative conspiracy theorists have gone so far as to film their local hospitals. In yet another move that makes absolutely no sense.

Even in the midst of a global pandemic, conspiracy theorists will find a way to spread disinformation.

Their latest antic involves taking pictures and videos of hospitals in an effort to “prove” that coronavirus is a hoax.

The theory appears to stem from the mistaken belief that hospital waiting rooms and parking lots appear empty because the virus isn’t either real or as serious as people are being told.

In reality, there are fewer cars and people because visitation and elective procedures have been canceled to slow the spread of coronavirus. Further, medical facilities are taking great care to separate coronavirus patients from those without the disease.

Taking photos at medical facilities can also violate federal patient privacy rights. And it’s extremely ill-advised to go to a coronavirus hot zone like a hospital.

See here’s the thing morons, there’s a book I would suggest reading called “The Hot Zone” which was about a pandemic exactly like what we’re experiencing. The real chaos is happening inside the hospital and they’ve restricted visitors and access. And when there’s a highly contagious disease roaming the landscape, they are currently places you do not want to go! And you most definitely don’t want to listen to people like this for advice!

DeAnna Lorraine, a right-wing activist who unsuccessfully ran in the Mar. 3 California primary to challenge House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, is now pushing new conspiracy theories about COVID-19, promoting the hashtags #coronavirustruth and #filmyourhospital.

On Sunday, Lorraine filmed outside two hospitals in Los Angeles and found them quiet—which she took as a sign that the hospitals and mainstream media are engaged in a hoax, rather than a simpler alternative explanation, which is that hospitals aren’t allowing any visitors to try to protect their patients and prevent further spread of the virus.

“Let’s get #FilmYourHospital trending,” Lorraine tweeted Sunday afternoon. As of early Monday morning, that message had been retweeted more than 15,000 times and people were taking her up on the challenge, filming quiet hospital parking lots as if they were revealing yet another mainstream media plot. The hashtag has also attracted outrage from medical professionals and others who are warning that this kind of disinformation is threatening people’s lives.

Lorraine was back at it on Monday morning, tweeting messages like “I’m sure we would all like the actual #Coronavirustruth” and “How many people do you personally know with #COVID19.” She asserted that, “The FDA has never been interested in cures or safety.”

You got that right! But this is why you should never listen to truthers – they are actually full of some pure grade A bullshit! There’s nothing to joke about the current situation that we are all in, and harassing doctors is counter productive. I know, my brother is one. And guess what? They don’t have time for your bullshit! So don’t do this people. Really, just stay the fuck out of it.

As of early Tuesday morning, March 31, the coronavirus pandemic had killed more than 39,000 people worldwide (according to the Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore). But that figure might pale in comparison to what lies ahead: Dr. Anthony Fauci, a key member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus take force, told CNN’s John Berman this week that he “would not be surprised if we saw 100,000 deaths” from COVID-19 in the United States alone in the months ahead — and that’s with aggressive social distancing measures in place. Yet despite all the deaths that coronavirus has inflicted and will continue to inflict, some far-right media figures continue to insist people are exaggerating the impact of the pandemic. And Will Sommer, in an article for the Daily Beast, takes a look at some of the idiotic tactics of coronavirus truthers.

“Right-wing figures eager to downplay the coronavirus pandemic’s death toll have hit on a new idea: filming quiet hospital parking lots,” Sommer explains. “Over the weekend, a growing number of pro-Trump personalities decided that the way to prove that the media was overhyping the pandemic was to film places where cars and ambulances show up to drop patients off. If the entrances were quiet and the parking lots mostly empty, they claimed, that was proof that the coronavirus’ effects had been overstated.”

Coronavirus truthers have become a cottage industry on the far right — not unlike birthers (conspiracy nuts who claimed that President Barack Obama wasn’t really born in the U.S.) and 9/11 truthers (those who claimed that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were a hoax).

So whether it’s Coronavirus truthers or 9/11 truthers or flat earthers, or anti-gravity fliers, they’re all the same brand of crazy with a different pattern on the cloth. But here’s the thing – you do not want to listen to the conspiracy theorists on literally any subject, because they will almost certainly be wrong. In this case, you have to respect and trust the experts. Like Dr. Fauci, you cannot ignore t this man, and Trump is literally going out of his way to do so.

During a YouTube livestream last Friday, right-wing pastor Curt Landry told his viewers that they should listen to President Donald Trump and not medical experts when it comes to the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak because Trump was chosen by God and therefore has greater spiritual authority.

“We are in a small window of time where we need to be decreeing, praying, believing, and speaking it out of our mouths—critical at this time—speaking out of our mouths and agreeing with what Donald Trump is saying and not some of his advisers,” Landry said.

Landry, who last week declared that any eventual coronavirus vaccine would be “from the pit of Hell” and should not be taken, said that while he respects the nation’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, Trump outranks him spiritually and so Christians should be listening to the president rather than doctors and other health experts.

“I’m talking to you spiritually,” Landry said. “I am not a scientist, I am not a doctor, and I do respect [Fauci’s] knowledge, I respect where he comes from, and I respect him in his position that God has put him in. But in the order of spiritual alignment, Donald J. Trump is the Cyrus above him … As believers, we need to agree—I believe that God puts kings and leaders in their place, I believe God has put Donald Trump in his place as a Cyrus—and we need to agree with what he’s saying.”

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Crimes Of The Virus
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Hey everyone, we’re cooped at home during the Great Quarantine, and I have never needed a drink more!

You know this segment is usually reserved for when the news gets too dark. And boy has it got dark lately. There’s nothing we can say or do on this segment that will make people feel better. And on this show, it’s usually funnier when I’m plastered in front of a live audience. We can’t replicate that here but we can at least try to cheer you up. So that said, New Jersey might be the new Florida. And in this time of the Great Quarantine, when you can’t leave me house, we need more of this in our lives don’t we? I am also proud to announce that my bartender has been declared an essential business, so we can have some booze! Tell me bartender, what goes well with quarantine? A quarantine cocktail? No thanks, I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Here’s the thing, it’s getting weird with the virus. And we are going to chronicle some of the stranger things going on in this one. Starting with:

Piscataway police have charged four people with violating Gov. Phil Murphy's emergency orders, according to the Office of the Attorney General.

Police charged Yu Han, 20, Xiaonuo Shi, 18, Chenyu Yang, 19, and Roukai Wang, 19, Friday with disorderly persons offenses for violating the emergency orders and criminal mischief for allegedly drag racing and doing donuts in a school parking lot.

Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal urged the public and business owners to comply with the governor’s emergency orders — not only to keep themselves and others healthy, but to avoid creating more work and risks for hard-pressed law enforcement officers.

He warned that those who fail to comply will be held accountable, citing numerous cases where charges have been filed for violations of the orders or other offenses related to the coronavirus.

“Our police officers are going above and beyond the call of duty during this health crisis. Unfortunately, they are being called upon far too often to deal with people violating the orders put in place to protect us all— or what is more egregious, people falsely using the coronavirus to spread fear or impede officers in their vital work,” Grewal said.

Thanks I needed that! That goes without saying though, we are indoors all day and we are bored out of our minds. But don’t go doing something fucking stupid like doing donuts in a parking lot. Or launch a Molotov cocktail. Well the Molotov Cocktail is generally a bad idea to begin with. But you definitely know that things are going south when someone starts stuffing rags into a bottle of booze and lighting it on fire!

A man hosting a house party where more than 30 guests were in attendance and filming videos to post on YouTube.

A rabbi hosting a party for 25 young students at the all-boys school where he is headmaster.

Four people holding weddings.

A woman who allegedly threw a Molotov cocktail at her boyfriend's house.

They're among the latest people in New Jersey to be charged, in some cases among other offenses, with violating the state's emergency orders designed to stop the spread of the coronavirus.

“Staying home and maintaining social distance is not just good advice to stay healthy — it’s the law," state Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal said in a statement Friday. "Make no mistake, we will do what it takes to keep our residents and police officers safe, and that means we won’t hesitate to file criminal charges against those who violate the emergency orders.”

Yeah people, in the time of the virus, when we’re all considered biological weapons, don’t do anything fucking stupid. And things like this are why this thing is going to get dragged out months instead of weeks, and we all want this gone sooner than later! And the thing is now in this day and age, you can get arrested for the mere act of coughing. Yes, coughing is now a crime.

An individual who spits or coughs on a member of law enforcement will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Erie County District Attorney John J. Flynn announced Monday.

The announcement follows multiple incidents reported by law enforcement throughout Erie County in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Flynn said potential charges may include attempted assault in the second degree, a class “E” felony, menacing in the third degree, a class “B” misdemeanor, and harassment in the second degree, a violation.

Additionally, if the alleged incident occurred within a correctional facility, the individual could be charged with aggravated harassment in the second degree, a class “E” felony.

A person could face a maximum 4 years in prison, if convicted of the felony charges.

So here’s the scary truth people – as long as coronavirus is a thing, we’re all biological weapons, and we’re all sitting ducks as a result. So don’t be like these douchebags. Really, just don’t. And if you do you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. Because they could very well be fatal, and you are not the only one who is going to suffer. If this is the hill you choose to die on, you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. And I’ll drink to that!

Rotterdam police have arrested a man after he claimed he had coronavirus, and proceeded to cough on multiple customers at a Capital Region Walmart!

Police say that 23-year-old Marvin Herring was inside the Walmart located on Altamont Avenue, where he stated he has COVID-19 and was intentionally coughing on multiple customers.

The Brooklyn native was arrested around 7:40 PM on Tuesday evening. Herring is charged with one count of felony marking a terroristic threat, and one county of third degree misdemeanor menacing.

Herring was turned over to the Schenectady County Sheriff's Department, where it was discovered he was the subject of an active warrant from NYPD for felony first degree robbery.

The Rotterdam Police Department says they are following all CDC protocols for potential exposures.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 4
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! We are just one short round away from the Elite 8! We are here at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans where an electrified crowd is on their feet as the Elite 8 is shaping up. This week, it’s the final round of week 1 as the remaining two matches will duke it out for the chance to advance while the loser goes home! This week, it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina, while over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana! It’s god and crazy in the final round of week 1!

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

The Gem State is back for another go round. Boise State may be the home of the famous blue football field that’s somehow ironically visible from space. It’s one of the things that make Idaho uniquely Idaho, and is so batshit crazy that birds often mistake it for a body of water and will fly into it. But what other batshit crazy things has the Gem State got themselves into? Of course before COVID-19 upended life as we know it, Idaho has of course Boise State. And then of course with Boise State comes the toxic frat environments that universities are known for these days.

Boise State University is suspending official recognition of a campus fraternity after “more than two years” of repeated violations of university policies and the Student Code of Conduct.

The Office of the Dean of Students issued the five-year suspension for Pi Kappa Phi based on a recommendation by the university’s Conduct Hearing Board, according to a Monday afternoon press release.

“Consequences this severe do not come lightly or easily, but all members of our university community have a responsibility to each other to be respectful and safe,” said Christian Wuthrich, Boise State’s State dean of students.

Boise State hasn’t suspended a fraternity for this “significant length” of time since the 1960s, spokesman Greg Hahn told the Statesman. The university can issue a suspension for one egregious violation or a pattern of repeated violations, Hahn said, but there is no prescribed number of violations that triggers such punishment.

Read more: https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/education/boise-state-university/article241042431.html

Yeah! He’ll do one! Then of course you lie on the couch face down in a pool of your own vomit. Going on 3 days, and your employer will never call you back. I’m just saying it happens! But Idaho is so batshit crazy that even in the age of the Great Pandemic, their efforts to take 2/3 of rural Oregon have been upended by the beast known as the coronavirus. Yes, the virus has even hindered insane gun nuts.

The group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho is hoping Gov. Kate Brown’s statewide stay-at-home order won’t derail for long its newly launched signature-gathering effort in Josephine County. On March 12, the county gave its approval to circulate a petition backed by the group.

Chief petitioner Mike McCarter, a retired La Pine resident, says every day counts in the effort to get on the November ballot. “The people of eastern, central and southern Oregon can’t afford to be governed by a state that shows no regard for our livelihoods,” he said in a statement this week.

The small volunteer movement wants large swaths of Oregon to switch allegiance to Idaho. (It’s also targeting a few counties in northern California.) Along with Josephine County, Douglas and Umatilla counties have also approved petitions.

McCarter, the group’s president, says Oregon’s response to the coronavirus pandemic is a stark example of how Oregonians like him are being short-changed by the state.

[font size="4"]South Carolina:[/font]

The Palmetto State is home to a guy who is widely regarded as one of the worst Senators in America, and that’s Lindsay Graham. Apart from being one of the first states in the union to secede during the Civil War, a combination of batshit insanity, Koch fueled economics, and megachurch religious mentality fuels South Carolina as a beacon of the south. So what else are they known for? Well, the Family Values crowd might be declaring South Carolina an LGBT-free zone! Yes, this is widely being considered a thing in 2020.

Last month, numerous outlets reported that one-third of Poland is now an “LGBT-free zone,” which means local municipalities have passed resolutions “against LGBT propaganda” and “pro-family.”

Now, believe it or not, voters in one U.S. county may decide whether to do effectively the same thing.

Joe Dill, a councilman in Greenville County, South Carolina, has introduced a proposed ballot measure that would allow voters to weigh in on an anti-gay resolution originally passed in 1996. The resolution states “that lifestyles advocated by the gay community should not be endorsed by government policy makers, because they are incompatible with the standards to which this community subscribes.”

The resolution also states that “the traditional family structure … has been proven to be the primary and best method for fostering a positive development in children” and “pledges not to fund those activities which seek to contravene these existing community standards.”

Read more: https://www.towleroad.com/2020/03/voters-may-decide-whether-to-declare-this-south-carolina-county-an-lgbt-free-zone-video/

You know really, we got more important things to worry about guys. Like I don’t know the fact that there’s a supervirus roaming the landscape turning us all into sitting ducks and frying our internal organs, that ring a bell? Oh yeah and you might want to look out because if this guy is an indicator of the caliber of person they’re looking for judicial positions, then we are fucked.

When South Carolina lawmakers confirmed a batch of new magistrates this year, one nominee stood out from the pack: Mike Pitts.

The former state House member had made a name for himself in Columbia as a staunch defender of the Confederate flag, and on Facebook he has penned anti-immigration screeds and used racially charged language. In May, for example, he posted a photo of New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker, an African American Democrat running for president. His caption: “Cory Booker alway [sic] looks like he just hit crack real hard.”

None of this, however, prompted any discussion in June, when the state Senate confirmed Pitts along with 33 other nominees for the lower courts.

Unlike South Carolina’s felony and appellate court judges, magistrates are not subjected to legislative hearings before lawmakers sign off on their appointments. In fact, there’s rarely any public debate at all. Nominations typically sail through the upper chamber with a single voice vote.

Read more: https://www.propublica.org/article/he-defended-the-confederate-flag-and-insulted-immigrants-now-hes-a-judge

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very close one here. Current score is 81 – 81 going into the final quarter with 8.5 seconds left… Idaho has the ball, they sink it… It’s good!!! 3 pointer at the buzzer! Oh my god, Idaho stuns South Carolina and they will move on to face Virginia. Final score 84 – 81.

[font size="4"]Ohio:[/font]

The Buckeye State. They are a long time purveyor of the Family Values Conference. They are home to such bustling, vibrant metropolises as Cincinatti, Cleveland, Dayton, and Colombus. But they’re also home to some of the biggest farm towns in the country. And with those farm towns comes rural insanity and some old school fire and brimstone religious values. So much that they overlook the biggest sex scandals in the state. Like the scandal at Ohio State University for instance.

Ohio State University was hit Wednesday with another lawsuit alleging that school officials and coaches failed to protect students and athletes from Richard Strauss, the deceased team doctor now accused of sexually assaulting hundreds of athletes and students.

“Dr. Richard Strauss is dead. He can’t pay for his crimes,” the lawsuit states. “Only his enabler is left.”

With this latest lawsuit, filed in Columbus, Ohio, by Pennsylvania-based attorney Joseph Sauder and five other law firms from around the country, the number of men who are suing Ohio State has climbed to around 350.

“The numbers don’t lie,” the suit states. “These men were repeatedly sexually abused by Strauss at different times, in different manners.”

Just remember kids, back in the day before there was a killer virus roaming the landscape, we had the sex scandal at Ohio State – in a town known for family values. And so much that they elected Jim Jordan to represent them.

[font size="4"]Indiana:[/font]

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

When we come back on the 22nd it’s Stupidest State Round 2 Week 1 and the road to the Final Four! This time it’s the Gun Nut Conference championships, from the home of the Minnesota Wild, Target Center in Minneapolis! The Elite 8 is set!

We are taking a short break next week, we will be back on April 22nd with a brand new edition and Stupidest State Round 2! See you in two weeks!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 8, 2020, 05:06 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-12: Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-12: Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well, another week down where we can’t go outside, how is everybody doing? You doing fucking good? Yeah us either. Sure, the Coronavirus is going to pass, but we don’t want anything stupid to happen in the meantime, which is why we’re staying home until it is safe to do so. But we can’t wait to reveal all the exciting things we have in store for season 9 as we approach what will hopefully be the end of the Donald J. Trump administration. And that includes our new home in Burbank. Yes, we left our good friends at the UCB Theater and are moving for greener pastures in Burbank, and we can’t wait to do a live show from there soon. We’ll reveal our tentative tour dates for the 9th season during our off day on April 15th, but I hope we can tour by then. You know I really want to find a silver lining in the news right now but it’s just so hard to do that. Usually here’s where we talk about some random, non-political nonsense before we delve into 10 solid entries of political nonsense. But there’s nothing going on during the Great Quarantine. Nothing. Come on, I’d kill for a good Florida Man story right now, but even he’s being isolated. But I’m sure that we will see some stories of some idiocy coming later down the pike. Just, god, we cannot wait until the great lockdown is over. Which we certainly hope is coming soon. OK enough of the intro, I’m rambling again. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the latest on everyone’s favorite subject:

So we’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future and that means that there’s no live music and no Wheel Of Corruption that we planned to do for this edition. And our live audience laughter and applause is going to be replaced with pre-recorded audience laughter and applause. So in the #1 slot this week is Donald Trump (1). Because he’s gloating about getting the stimulus package passed but what’s in it? We will expose the reality of who’s getting $2 TRILLION. In the number 2 slot this week is also Donald Trump (2). So he wants this all to be over by Easter so we can pack the churches. We will explain in (not shocking) detail why this plan is clinically insane. Taking the third slot this week is Mike Lindell (3), who you might know better as the MyPillow guy, and if you expect that he’s trying to help, well, let’s just hope that his masks aren’t the same quality as his pillows. In the number 4 slot this week, we’re adding Mississippi governor Tate Reeves (4) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected because he’s putting his whole state in jeopardy. At slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at some Coronavirus scamming, and yes, just like the virus itself, the scammers are spreading like wildfire, and you may need watch your inbox and phone calls very closely. At slot #6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week, why is Liberty University set on welcoming students back to campus? Is Jerry Falwell Jr insane? Probably. In the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). OK, Twitter, you know that inviting James Woods back on your service was a bad idea, so why did you do it? Take a time out and go sit in the corner. At slot #8 this week, we get to debut a new segment! This is called “Conspiracy Corner” and we’re going to tell you about the bizarre new drug of choice for Q Anon fans, and they might be on too much of it! At the number 9 (NEIN!!) we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week it's time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3! This week, it's a battle of #1s and #2s, as over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #1 Michigan takes on #2 Pennsylvania, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, #1 Oregon takes on perennial favorites #2 Florida! The Elite 8 is shaping up! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Stimulus Bill
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Remember back during the Bush years when they gave everybody a check for $300 as a way to stimulate the economy? Well if you don’t remember that, I would suggest watching a Futurama episode from 2003 called “Three Hundred Big Boys” in which the Planet Express crew spent their $300 refunds on some absolutely ridiculous items. Well, this Coronavirus stimulus bill is kind of like that. Except we’re all getting $1200. And your bosses are getting some unchecked, very loosely defined rules as to how they get their end of the pie. And this thing is shockingly evil if you read the fine print. Which is what we are here to do.

With the goal of blunting the financial effects of the coronavirus outbreak, the US government committed to a $2 trillion economic stimulus package that includes payments of up to $1,200 to US taxpayers. Checks may start to arrive in three weeks -- assuming you're eligible to receive a stimulus payment.

It's expected that roughly 9 of 10 households could receive a recovery rebate of some amount under the economic stimulus law, which also provides financial aid for businesses staggered by the virus, and expanded unemployment and student-loan assistance. But not everyone will receive the complete payment, and some won't receive a stimulus check at all.

Here's what we know about the individual and household coronavirus relief checks that are part of the federal package -- including finding out if you'll be eligible, how much you can expect to receive and how to receive your payments. We'll update this story as developments occur. (Here's how you should spend the money when you get it and how else you can get financial relief.)

The total amount of your stimulus check will be based on your adjusted gross income, or AGI, from your 2019 federal tax filing or -- if you've not filed this year yet -- your 2018 filing.

Yeah so some of you will be getting the check, some of you won’t. And for those of you who won’t, that will be because it will be at the expense of large corporations also wanting their fair share of the pie, which will mean that they will get it all and we will get peanuts. Shit, $1200 will barely cover the rent in some areas. But here’s why this isn’t the quick fix that many will think it is. And we all know how much Americans love their quick fixes.

A little less than three weeks ago, when the number of people infected with the COVID-19 virus began to spike, Mikael Laboy found himself in a tough spot. The 21-year-old’s job at a biotechnology company in Puerto Rico required him to work in close proximity to his coworkers, and he says his employer wasn’t taking enough precautions to keep them safe. Since he lives with his brother and sister-in-law, who is pregnant, he felt he couldn’t risk accidentally bringing the infection home. So he quit. “There’s people living in my household that I can’t put at risk,” he says.

It was a difficult decision and bills have been stacking up, but recently, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope. On March 27, President Trump signed a $2.2 trillion coronavirus stimulus package that includes the direct infusion of cash to the majority of Americans—including Laboy. The provision stipulates that any American with a Social Security number who isn’t considered someone else’s dependent and makes up to $75,000 will receive a payment of $1,200.

That means that Laboy, who says he has been struggling economically for three years, would catch a much-needed break. “I’ve been sleeping on the floor for years, being in houses with no furniture, beds, et cetera,” he says. “I’ve had weeks where I spend two or three days without eating just to stretch out the food as much as I can.” For him, the stimulus funds would be a game-changer.

Yeah that’s about what I would expect from the guy who uses the words “beautiful” and “tremendous” the way a Zappa-esque valley girl would use the phrase “like you know whatever”. Yeah OK that was a bit sexist and I do apologize for that. So that covers your average Joe Sixpack, but what does it mean for small business owners? Well they will see money but don’t expect it to last as long as you may need it.

It will take “a week or two" to get the PPP loans flowing, said Chris Maher president of New Jersey-based OceanFirst Bank.

He noted that the government has also injected $10 billion more into the federal Small Business Administration’ emergency loan program, making the loans easier to get. Those loans are ready at participating banks now. But they aren’t intended to be forgiven. “Don’t just grab a program,” he said. Borrowing from SBA too soon might make a customer ineligible for state programs and other alternatives.

“We’ve been on the phone with SBA — they’ve been great — but it’s still not 100 percent clear,” how soon the money will arrive, said Rodger Levenson chief executive of WSFS, the largest bank based in the Philadelphia area. “It will take a little time to come up with a process to handle this unprecedented volume of loans.”

Since banks are ready to lend and businesses have been banking more cash that they can use to reopen, Maher says, he expects coronavirus will be more like a terrible Shore hurricane, sharp and deadly, but leading to a faster recovery than a 2008-style Great Recession.


So that covers phase 3. What does phase 4 hold up? Well phase 4 is going to include things like infrastructure and more stimulus money. Because who knows how long this whole thing is supposed to go on for? We could be looking at months before this virus dies the horrible death it deserves. This is going to be a long and rocky road before we can put the Coronavirus behind us. And we personally cannot wait until that day.

Congressional lawmakers put the finishing touches on a $2 trillion stimulus bill to respond to the coronavirus pandemic, with cash and assistance for regular Americans, Main Street businesses and hard-hit airlines and manufacturers, among others.
The Senate passed the bill, 96-0, and the House is set to follow suit Friday.
CNN reporters read through the entire legislation. Here's a list of highlights:
Direct payments to individuals

Under the plan as it was being negotiated, single Americans would receive $1,200, married couples would get $2,400 and parents would see $500 for each child under age 17.
However, the payments would start to phase out for individuals with adjusted gross incomes of more than $75,000, and those making more than $99,000 would not qualify at all. The thresholds are doubled for couples.

Student loan payments suspended
The Department of Education would suspend payments on student loan borrowers without penalty through September 30, according to the bill.
CNN reported last week that the Department of Education was planning to allow student loan borrowers to suspend payments without penalty and accruing interest for at least 60 days.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So is the country really going to be reopen by Easter? Is it really? If you guessed “no”, you are… absolutely 100% correct! It won’t be Sunday Bloody Sunday. Instead it will be Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday, because if Trump’s plan went through, a lot of people could die. This thing seems to get worse by the day and our president currently has his head stuck up his big, fat ass. Well here’s the thing – the Coronavirus is not going away anytime soon, whether we want it to or not. But Trump is having some completely unrealistic expectations about what he expects the virus is going to do. And here’s the thing – there’s a million projection models out there, and none of them are good. And there’s not a whole lot we can do to make fun of the situation at hand, so we won’t try.

President Donald Trump's predictions that victory is close in the coronavirus crisis are becoming increasingly impossible to square with the harrowing escalation of America's battle against the pandemic.

Trump on Tuesday spied "light at the end of the tunnel" and envisioned packed church pews at Easter as America breaks free of stay-at-home orders and marks the return of its "raring to go" economy.
"I thought it was a beautiful time. A beautiful timeline," the President said Tuesday, making clear that his target date to open the nation by April 12 -- less than three weeks away -- was driven by sentiment and symbolism, not medical data on the virus's fast-tightening grip on the nation.

Anyone can empathize with the President's desire to crank back an economy that has probably already shed millions of jobs and left many Americans wondering how long they can survive without wages. But Trump has political motives too: he needs a swift rebound since the economy's long winning streak represented his best argument for reelection.

That is not a joke, by the way. that is an actual, unaltered, unedited picture from last year’s White House Easter Egg roll. And you actually have to feel sorry for the Easter Bunny in that picture. He’s probably saying “FML”. Is there anything that he doesn’t make weird or creepy? No. At the very least there is a silver lining here, because this year, we won’t be subjected to creepy Easter Bunny photos.

First lady Melania Trump regretfully announced Monday that the venerable White House Easter Egg Roll next month is canceled "out of an abundance of caution" due to the coronavirus pandemic.

She cited the National Emergency Declaration made by President Donald Trump last week.

“The health and safety of all Americans must be the first priority, especially right now,” the first lady said in a statement issued by the White House.

“I deeply regret this cancellation,but we need to make difficult decisions in the short-term to ensure a healthy country for the long-term.

Dude, Jay and Silent Bob, take it out on Trump. Don’t take it out on the Easter Bunny. And by the way, Melania, your husband put us in this position because he called the virus a hoax! And come on, are empty pews really a bad thing? So the Christian right doesn’t get their annual traditions in. Big fucking deal. We’re all making sacrifices right now, they should have to make some too.

President Donald Trump is determined to ease coronavirus restrictions on most Americans by the Easter holiday -- auspicious timing for his evangelical base and business allies but a worrisome deadline for public-health experts shaping the U.S. response to a still mushrooming outbreak.

Trump’s impatience to get everyone back to work set in almost immediately after he urged everyone to stay home -- touched off as he watched a sermon delivered by a prominent evangelical preacher to an empty megachurch. It gained momentum as Trump listened to advice from conservative economists who warned of near-apocalyptic financial damage, a view reinforced by a free-fall in markets.

And it coalesced around a single day, among the most sacred in the Christian calendar -- Easter Sunday, April 12 -- for reasons more symbolic than scientific after a key meeting headed by Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner just four days after the stay-at-home advice.

Trump’s public-health advisers appear to have made some headway in softening his insistence on that single day -- “a beautiful time, a beautiful timeline,” as the president has called it -- but he largely remains undeterred.

A Beautiful Timeline? OK the title of the next musical bio picture aside, there’s nothing about this that is beautiful. In fact I could spend this entire edition posting stat after stat saying there’s no such thing as what Trump is talking about. In fact, you could say that he is pulling these figures directly out of his ass, and that’s not a pretty sight, I can guarantee you that! Instead, I’ll show you what changed his mind and leave it at that.

US Christian leaders have criticised Donald Trump’s Easter coronavirus deadline – by which he wants to see much of the country reopened and churches full. One described it as the “height of hypocrisy”.

As US coronavirus cases and deaths continued to soar, the president said on Tuesday he wanted to reopen “large sections of the country” by Easter Sunday – 12 April – when there would be “packed churches all over our country”.

His comments came despite warnings from White House taskforce members Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx, the latter saying she was “deeply concerned” about New York and its surrounding area.

On Wednesday the number of confirmed US cases rose to 54,453 and 737 deaths, according to figures from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

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[font size="8"]My Pillow Guy
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We currently live in a fucking cartoon. Actually no, we live in an infomercial that runs during the really late night shift once Stephen Colbert is over. Trump’s press conferences are so insane that I keep expecting him to say “BUT WAIT!! THERE’S MORE!!!”. Hell, I also keep expecting to hear the 1-800-EMPIRE commercial jingle in the background. Oh yeah that happened. And dude, when we’re all hurting for answers as to what the fuck is really going on, maybe don’t invite the fucking My Pillow Guy to a White House press conference!!! Really what the hell did you expect that would happen Trump? He turned official government business into one of his MAGA rallies.

President Donald Trump kicked off Monday’s press briefing on the coronavirus much like every other, by running through daily updates about the deadly virus and the White House efforts to eradicate it.

But unlike in typical briefings throughout the pandemic, in which various members of the administration discuss what their agencies are doing to combat the virus or help blunt its economic toll, Trump yielded the stage first to a handful of business leaders — one of them a staunch supporter who went off script in a moment of effusive praise for the president.

The Trump administration has involved business leaders in nearly every aspect of its response to the pandemic, leaning heavily on private-public partnerships to respond to the virus, which has rapidly spread and touched nearly every industry in the country, so it wasn‘t their presence alone that was unusual.

Among those he introduced Monday were the “great leader” of Honeywell, as well as the CEOs of Jockey, Procter & Gamble and United Technologies, all of whom laid out how their companies were fulfilling what Trump described as “their patriotic duty” to fight the virus.

There’s honestly nothing you can say because this is too fucking stupid to be able to believed, but then again this is the year 2020 here. And for the people who say “Oh he’s only trying to help, what have you done?”. Well, to that I say “fuck you!!!”. Seriously you can’t pray this thing away, and just like gun violence, your thoughts and prayers aren’t going to work. And for Trump to use his platform for this guy, well, that’s sad.

After MyPillow founder Mike Lindell appeared Monday during a White House coronavirus task force briefing to announce his company's intention to produce face masks to help mitigate the spread of coronavirus, the term "My Pillow" became the number one trending topic on Twitter.

Lindell told reporters he had diverted 75 percent of his company's manufacturing capabilities to producing cotton face masks with a goal of creating 50,000 masks per day by Friday.

After speaking about what his company was doing to help in the fight against coronavirus, Lindell made some comments which he called "off the cuff."

"God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on," Lindell said, referencing the date President Donald Trump was elected. "God had been taken out of schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families."

Yeah no, your prayers aren’t going to work, Mike. You need way more than that to stop this virus from killing a whole lot of us. But to claim that Trump’s presidency is an act of God, well, that is so fucking stupid I can’t even come up with a response to it. Does that mean that God is a raging asshole? Oh yeah and if you think Mike’s masks will be the same quality as his pillows, there’s this from last year that you might have missed.

May 9 was the last day of work for 150 employees in the MyPillow production department in Shakopee.

The company is launching a new online store for inventors and “due to this new direction,” changing production at MyPillow. The employees have been informed of other job opportunities outside of the company, if they choose, according to the company.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell said in a prepared statement the layoffs will allow the company to launch his next venture: an online store for entrepreneurs and inventors to sell their products. The new venture, called MyStore.com, will be run out of MyPillow’s Shakopee factories.

“As we prepare for the launch of MyStore.com, we are changing the layout of our Shakopee factories so the fulfillment and shipping of all MyStore products can happen here,” Lindell said.

Oh and by the way, do we really need this guy in any position of power? There’s no way this guy is equipped to be governor of anywhere. And if you think running the country like a business is the way to go, well, it got us here. In the middle of a global pandemic that is affecting literally everyone. So yeah, no, fuck you Mike. I hope the good people of Minnesota are better than you.

President Donald Trump introduced those tuning into his nightly coronavirus task force briefing on Monday to a special guest: Mike Lindell, the multimillionaire inventor and CEO of the MyPillow empire.

"Boy, do you sell those pillows," Trump said, asking him to step up to the mic and tell Americans how his company was helping them deal with the outbreak. Lindell then launched into a short infomercial for his company, going on to describe how the firm was manufacturing cotton face masks and effusively praising the president for his pandemic stewardship.

“I did not know he was going to do that, but he is a friend of mine, and I do appreciate it,” Trump said.

It’s hardly their first encounter. Lindell has told associates that the president is encouraging him to run for governor of Minnesota in 2022, to “keep Minnesota red beyond” the 2020 race, according to a person with direct knowledge of his comments.

Trump told him that “he really wants me to run,” according to the source, who spoke with Lindell in late February soon after the MyPillow CEO’s conversation with Trump in the White House.

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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Tate Reeves
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Mississippi governor Tate Reeves. Just like the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, Tate Reeves seems to just not care that a lot of his people are going to die from COVID-19. Just as in Florida, which seems to have a few very loosely defined restrictions on COVID-19 gatherings, Mississippi also does the same. In fact, you might say that they have even looser restrictions on public gatherings. And it’s because, economy, stupid. Yes, Tate Reeves is willing to put your lives at risk because he doesn’t feel that your life is worth more than your contributions to the economy are. And because of that, you will most likely die.

Gov. Tate Reeves said as the number of COVID-19 cases continue to rise in some areas of Mississippi, he is ready and able to issue a shelter-in-place order if needed.

“As we look at the days and weeks ahead, and as the data suggested and the experts recommended, please understand that there is a very real possibility that for certain communities in our state, a shelter-in-place order is imminent,” Reeves said. “I am committed to do everything I can do in a responsible way to protect my fellow Mississippians, and that’s going to be difficult on a lot of people. Nobody necessarily wants to be shut in their own home by the government. It’s not something that I will do lightly, but if the data suggests it and the experts recommend it, I will do it.”

Reeves and state health officer Dr. Thomas Dobbs were live Sunday afternoon on Facebook, where they stressed the need for social distancing and isolation to slow the spread of COVID-19.

Dobbs said the Mississippi State Health Department wants to do more expansive testing to identify those who are positive for COVID-19 and then track their "little cluster" contacts so they may be quarantined for a couple weeks. Doing so will help prevent the need for a broader quarantine order, Dobbs said. He compared it to pruning a bush rather than burning the bush.

Yes, you suck for sure. Sure, he could be ready, or he could not. In fact this should have been issued weeks ago. but leave it to the Gulf Coast states to screw it up for the rest of us who really could have seen this coming. But what is Mississippi doing? While other states have much stricter rules against this sort of thing, it seems that anything goes in Mississippi. Even the mayors of the cities are divided on this.

Mayors across the state are taking it upon themselves to clarify to their residents that curfews, restaurant bans, and stay-at-home orders remain in place after an executive order from the governor's office earlier this week muddled the waters.

Cities and counties and the state are operating under different guidelines on ways to protect their residents, resulting in confusion across the state, several mayors said.

In some cities, officials are dispatching their police and fire departments to enforce the public safety orders as they fear residents will not take them as serious as they should.

Meanwhile, reports of restaurants re-opening their dining rooms or churches preparing to worship in person are also circulating, raising concerns from city officials who are trying to stem the transmission of the coronavirus.

Still other mayors stand behind the governor's order which they say gives local officials the proper authority without forcing their hand. The best people to understand what measures to take are those on the ground and in the region, they say. https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/2020/03/28/mississippi-mayors-divided-gov-reeves-coronavirus-directives/2925959001/

There aren’t enough facepalms for things that are going on in the world right now. Even the former governor of Mississippi is yelling at Gov. Reeves and telling him to shelter in place. And the rest of the country is going “THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE TWO WEEKS AGO YOU MORON!!!”. Well, things are going to get very ugly for the state of Mississippi.

Mayor: step up COVID-19 restrictions. Governor: prays

The mayor of a coastal Mississippi city called on the governor Sunday to step up restrictions imposed because of COVID-19.

Gov. Tate Reeves “needs to shut down the state,” Moss Point Mayor Mario King told WLOX-TV on Sunday.

Moss Point is a city in Jackson County, which had 35 of the nearly 760 cases in Mississippi as of Sunday. Moss Point’s 13,700 residents include 19 who have the disease, King said.

He said he planned an emergency meeting Sunday of the city’s Board of Aldermen.

“This is serious,” King said. “People are not social distancing, they are continuing to have large gatherings. We are going to have to step it up a notch.”

There aren’t enough facepalms for this. But apparently if you live in Mississippi, your governor values his state’s economy over your life. So much in fact that he’s not willing to listen to rhyme or reason to protect the citizens of his state. Oh yeah and it’s his fucking job to do that! In the end is it going to be incompetence that will cause our demise? You betcha!

“I’m so frustrated by the whole thing,” said Smithson, the former director of the Mississippi Emergency Management Agency and, before that, director of military support for the Mississippi National Guard. “The only thing I can do is minimize my outings and take care of my family. I think it’s going to get a whole lot worse.”

“We’re looking at economics over public health.”

Smithson is one of thousands of Mississippians who have implored Reeves to issue stay-at-home orders for all but essential operations, including health care and emergency response.

Instead, Reeves has signed an executive order that allows all manner of businesses to continue operating, including restaurants with limited seating, retail stores and auto dealerships.

In a Facebook post, Reeves referenced the state’s pandemic response plan, adopted in 2013.

The plan’s objective is public health. The introduction says, “The response phase will include steps to activate response systems, prevent the spread of disease, prevent severe clinical outcomes in the ill, ensure that adequate support exists for response activities and ensure the continuity of operations across the state.”

Yup, America, with people like this at the helm, we’re screwed. That’s Mississippi governor Tate Reeves, yet another in the growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Coronavirus Scams & Fake Cures
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The spread of the novel coronavirus has launched a spread of misinformation out there. It’s also launched a share of scams, cons, and fake cures. While COVID-19 has brought life to a near halt around the globe, that hasn’t stopped the worst of us from making a profit off this deadly disease and subsequent disaster that has followed. Which has turned America and the rest of the world into a hotbed rife for scamming. In fact there’s so much scamming and phishing going on right now that the Federal Trade Commission has issued guidelines that will help you deal with the forthcoming barrage of scamming from this disaster.

Through emails, text messages and phone calls, scammers are targeting their victims and they're using the COVID-19 pandemic to get the job done. It's unknown how many people have been swindled, but 3 On Your Side doesn't want you to be the next victim.

So, first up, be aware of the Coronavirus Test Kit Scam. It works when a scammer calls you. A recent audio clip released by the Federal Communications Commission shows how the scam works.

“The Coronavirus Response Act has made coronavirus testing more accessible immediately,” the scammer says. “If you want to receive a free testing kit delivered overnight to your home, press 1. If you do not want your free testing, press 2."

Due to the shortage of test kits, the scammer hopes you'll call back and pay for something that really doesn't exist.

Then, there's Social Security Scam that targets senior citizens.

If you’re a senior especially, be extremely careful about answering that phone or replying to that text message if it’s not from a number that you don’t know. Medication seems to be one of the scams that is emerging from this virus pandemic. But it is a good thing that governments are cracking down on this sort of thing because the virus has everyone terrified to leave or even answer the phone.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel reissued an alert regarding scammers who tried to trick people into handing over private medical information by impersonating representatives from local public health departments.

Nessel said the suspects called residents to offer medication and at-home COVID-19 tests before asking for their Medicaid and Medicare numbers, purportedly for billing purposes. Incoming calls from scammers are also jamming local health departments’ phone lines, Nessel said, delaying important responses to COVID-19.

“Scammers are still on a quest to take advantage of this public health crisis to gain access to your private information," Nessel said in a statement. "As we continue to work together to mitigate the spread of COVID-19, I want to remind all Michiganders to stay on high alert for scam calls, emails and text or direct messages on social media.

Reports so far have been focused on the Ionia County Health Department and the Benzie Leelanau Public Health Department, Nessel said. The Attorney General’s office previously issued a consumer alert last week and reissued the alert Monday to increase awareness.

That’s easier said than done. In fact you are going to need to be very vigilant in the forthcoming weeks to protect yourself. So how do you protect yourself from Coronavirus scammers? Well for one thing just like any scam the key is to not give out any personal information to anyone, just like you would in normal, everyday life. Because you can never be too careful.

Do not give out your PayPal account information, Social Security number, bank account number or anything else if someone claims such information is essential to sign you up for a stimulus check relating to the coronavirus pandemic.

It's not. It's a scam.

It's time to warn consumers once again that we need to practice some social distancing from the scammers.

The FBI, state attorneys general and other agencies are alerting Americans that phone calls, texts or emails asking for personal or financial information to get the $1,200 federal payment are not legit.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel on Thursday issued what she called "an urgent consumer alert" relating to scammers who play up federal stimulus checks. In other states, the Better Business Bureau has reported that the level of "stimulus scams" has gone through the roof. The real stimulus cash is likely to hit bank accounts within the next three weeks or later, but taxpayers don't have to sign up to get the money. Checks are expected to take longer. And yes, some people could experience delays.

See? Even the kids can see that this is a scam. You’ve got $1200 and they want it, and they are coming for it. Even worse – there’s people who will perform back alley operations for you. Yes, much like the meat market in Futurama, there’s the possibility of people offering cures for the virus in a back alley if your hospital has too many long lines. Gotta love deregulated America, right? So yeah if you come across this guy, don’t do it.

FBI agents arrested a Georgia man Monday on charges that he accepted kickbacks from medical testing companies by referring people for COVID-19 testing who didn't need it to fraudulently get Medicare reimbursement.

Court documents said Erik Santos, 49, of Braselton, Georgia, engaged in a large-scale scheme to defraud the government by soliciting and receiving payments from companies involved in medical testing in exchange for steering people to those companies for expensive tests that Medicare would pay for.

Prosecutors said he was already getting kickbacks for unnecessary cancer screenings when the pandemic hit.

Prosecutors said Santos told a government informant during a March 19 phone call that "while there are people going through what they are going through, you can either go bankrupt or you can prosper," and added, "Everybody has been chasing the COVID dollar bird."

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! We are only conducting this second online meeting for the duration of this unholy virus infecting the landscape. But that said, my fellow zealots are not taking this thing seriously. So with that in mind we’re going to take a look at some incidents around the country that will show that this is the work of GAWD. Now GAWD wants people to come together. He truly wants that. But in this time of pandemic and isolation, that’s incredibly hard to do. However, the people who pray to JAYSUS are , well, lost to the message right now. See, if we stay at home, the virus goes away sooner. But if we keep congregating, this is going to go on months. Which would you rather have? I know which my choice and the choice of our LAWRD would be!

As Liberty University’s spring break was drawing to a close this month, Jerry Falwell Jr., its president, spoke with the physician who runs Liberty’s student health service about the rampaging coronavirus.

“We’ve lost the ability to corral this thing,” Dr. Thomas W. Eppes Jr. said he told Mr. Falwell. But he did not urge him to close the school. “I just am not going to be so presumptuous as to say, ‘This is what you should do and this is what you shouldn’t do,’” Dr. Eppes said in an interview.

So Mr. Falwell — a staunch ally of President Trump and an influential voice in the evangelical world — reopened the university last week, igniting a firestorm. As of Friday, Dr. Eppes said, nearly a dozen Liberty students were sick with symptoms that suggested Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. Three were referred to local hospital centers for testing. An additional eight were told to self-isolate.

As of 8 p.m. on March 29, of those three students tested, one was positive, one was negative and one student’s results are still pending, according to Dr. Eppes, who added that the student who tested positive for Covid-19 lives off campus.

Yes, you need JAYSUS! And just because that one student lives off campus, that does not make it OK to do that, Falwell! Now here’s where actions have consequences! Jerry, you should have been punished by your almighty GAWD. But you didn’t listen. And now you will instead be punished by the state. And you do not want to be punished by the state. Because, as I said, actions have consequences!

Virginia’s governor on Monday ordered all higher education institutions to stop any in-person instruction amid the coronavirus pandemic, a move likely directed at Liberty University.

The evangelical college in Lynchburg led by President Jerry Falwell Jr. has faced intense criticism over its decision to welcome students back to campus last week after the end of their spring break. The vast majority of classes have been moved online, but the university has said publicly that in-person instruction was necessary for a few select courses.

“We are currently reviewing what the governor said but aren’t able to make a comment at this moment,” said Liberty spokesman Scott Lamb.

Lamb said he couldn’t immediately say whether any in-person instruction was continuing Monday, but the university’s website specifically mentioned that flight training for aeronautics courses would “remain in the traditional face to face format.”

Now see here’s where actions have consequences. Because Falwell did what he did, the governor of Virginia locked out all schools until this quarantine is over! Yeah, you got this in trouble for the rest of us, Jerry. Switching gears, let’s go over to our favorite state of Florida where a pastor has landed himself in some extremely hot water for violating the state and CDC rules on this sort of thing. See, this is why this thing is going to drag on months instead of weeks.

Megachurch Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne and the River at Tampa Bay Church had been warned.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office received an anonymous tip that the pastor planned to hold services Sunday in violation of county orders asking residents to stay home and limit gatherings to slow the coronavirus. Sheriff’s officials said they warned church lawyers on Friday and Sunday about the “dangerous environment they were creating for their members and the community.”

But Howard-Browne, the self-proclaimed “Holy Ghost bartender” and COVID-19 conspiracy theorist, ignored those warnings. He held two large services on Sunday, deputies said, and even bused people in to the church at 3738 River International Drive.

The church live-streamed the morning “Main Event” service on its Facebook page, showing congregants shoulder-to-shoulder while the church band played.

Yeah probably! But the good LAWRD JAYSUS wouldn’t put people in jeopardy like that. though, but look at that almighty palace of a church though! Wouldn’t you want to worship there, now? Well considering the toxic politics of the main pastor we wouldn’t. Though here’s why this is a bad idea no matter which way you look at it. Let’s go back to Virginia where another pastor threatens to break curfew.

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson posted a video on Facebook last night in which he vowed to hold services this Sunday at his The Called Church in Chesapeake, Virginia, in defiance of the stay-at-home order issued Monday by Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam in an effort to slow the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Jackson, who has been promising members of his congregation that they will not become infected by the virus because they are protected by God, declared that Northam’s executive order is nothing more than a blatant attempt to permanently close down churches and vowed to defy it, even as fellow right-wing pastor Rodney Howard-Browne was arrested yesterday for holding services in defiance of a similar order in Florida.

“[They] couldn’t figure out how to shut these churches down and shut them up, but [they] finally got an excuse to do so,” Jackson fumed. “We’re going to have our worship services. We are. We’ve got enough room in our sanctuary for the numbers showing up to do social distancing, but I am not going to stop worshiping God, we are not going to stop gathering together because I don’t believe that any governor has the constitutional authority to tell me we can’t.”

Oh yeah, let them be mad. The sooner we get this over with the better! That’s it this week, mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Twitter Vs James Woods
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Now Twitter, what did you learn? You knew that James Woods is a toxic asshole but you let him out of the bag anyways. And guess what? You learned nothing. In fact not only did you not learn nothing, this is what one might call a “circular firing squad”. Because what he did to Florida’s Andrew Gillum, who is currently suffering from his own mess, might be what one would call “rubbing salt in the wound”. And not only did Mr. Woods rub some salt in the wound. We’ve talked a lot about celebrities being banned from Twitter and their love-hate affair with social media. But this might take things to a whole new extreme. Hold your boos.

Citing violations against the social media site's internal rules, Twitter locked the account @RealJamesWoods, limiting the actor's ability to use the platform. While locked, account holders cannot tweet or retweet, but can still browse the social media platform.

"We may ask you to complete certain actions before we start the countdown on your limited state," Twitter explains in its Help Center. "These actions may include verifying your email address, adding a phone number to your account, or removing Tweets that are in violation of our rules."

While the exact conditions of Woods' lock are unknown, a screenshot circulating on social media suggest that his account was temporarily locked for a tweet about the former Tallahassee mayor and 2018 Florida gubernatorial candidate.

"Just remember, this could have been Florida's governor in the midst of the #WuhanCoronaVirus pandemic," Woods wrote in the tweet. "Make sure you vote #Republican in November like your life depends on it. Because it does."

But it wasn't Woods' words that prompted the ban. Along with the tweet, Woods also shared a photograph allegedly related to a Miami Beach Police Department report. Early in March, police were called to a hotel after midnight and found Gillum inebriated alongside a man suffering from a possible drug overdose. Police found suspected crystal meth in the hotel room, which Gillum denied using in a prepared statement released to the press.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Of course you already knew that James Woods was a pompous, self-serving asshole. The perfect mind for Trump to attract. But James Woods wasn’t the only prominent conservative being banned from posting on Twitter. Look at what happened when Rudy Giuliani broke Twitter’s now heavily reinforced rule about hawking misinformation about COVID-19.

Twitter removed a message by Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump's personal attorney, for spreading misinformation about the coronavirus and making groundless attacks on Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

In the tweet on Friday, Giuliani quoted conservative youth activist Charlie Kirk, who claimed that an unproven anti-malaria drug, hydroxychloroquine "in at least three international tests was found 100% effective in treating the coronavirus," according to screen shots of the message published by Mediate.

He went on to quote Kirk claiming that Whitmer, who in recent days has been targeted in attacks by Trump, is "threatening" doctors who prescribe the drug.

The drug has also been touted by Trump as a potential coronavirus cure — but doctors have warned that it can cause cardiac arrhythmia, a condition that can be fatal for patients with heart conditions.

Twitter confirmed to multiple news outlets that it had temporarily locked the account and removed the tweet.

Yeah so here’s the thing, conservatives. You can whine and cry all you want about “shadow banning” (not a thing). You can claim that there’s a social media war against conservatives (again, also not a thing). But in the end, just like a bad breakup, you have to tell yourself “It’s not them, it’s me.”. If you don’t believe me, just take a look at what happened when The Federalist also tried to be complete dicks during this pandemic. Yeah, they actually went there!

On March 25, The Federalist published an article suggesting “controlled voluntary infection” -- similar to “chickenpox parties" -- as a potential solution to the coronavirus outbreak in the United States. The astoundingly irresponsible suggestion, hinging on the advice of an unlicensed dermatologist and businessman, is only the latest in The Federalist’s recklessly dangerous coronavirus coverage.

The article, written by Douglas A. Perednia, argues that the mitigation and suppression of the disease through tactics like social distancing will only cripple the economy for future generations and won’t resolve the problem in the long term. In order to avoid economic devastation and other issues, Perednia suggests that people voluntarily contract coronavirus to build herd immunity. Though the article identified Perednia as a physician in Oregon, his medical license has expired and he appears to have “spent the last 25 years as a businessman of various sorts.”

The article contradicts the harsh steps experts have warned need to be taken in order to avoid a nightmare scenario with coronavirus, and Twitter ultimately took down a tweet from The Federalist promoting the article (and locked its account) for violating rules on the spread of disinformation about COVID-19. (In a twisted coincidence, on the day the article was published, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear lambasted individuals for taking part in a “coronavirus party,” where one person ended up testing positive for the virus.)

And let’s hope this doesn’t become a thing. Look, conservatives, it’s not social media sites, its’ you. It doesn’t matter if you’re James Woods or the Federalist. We’re all in this together. You can keep your social media accounts. Just don’t be a dick. Also, don’t hawk dangerously misleading information from a guy whose organization became famous for wearing diapers to promote safe spaces! So yeah every time you’re a dick on social media, you’re playing with fire. Just look at the last time James Woods got banned from Twitter.

President Donald Trump attacked social media websites after a number of conservatives and extremist figures were banned from platforms, saying that he was monitoring the situation.

Trump spent parts of Friday and Saturday criticizing Twitter and Facebook, declaring, "I am continuing to monitor the censorship of AMERICAN CITIZENS on social media platforms," he wrote on Twitter. Trump has repeatedly asserted that social media companies exhibit bias against conservatives, something the companies have rejected as untrue.

"It’s getting worse and worse for Conservatives on social media!" Trump wrote, following in another tweet, "This is the United States of America — and we have what’s known as FREEDOM OF SPEECH! We are monitoring and watching, closely!!

The president’s comments came after Facebook this week banned Louis Farrakhan, Alex Jones and other extremists, saying they violated its ban on “dangerous individuals.” The company also removed right-wing personalities Paul Nehlen, Milo Yiannopoulos, Paul Joseph Watson and Laura Loomer, along with Jones’ site, Infowars, which often posts false conspiracy theories. The latest bans apply both to Facebook’s main service and to Instagram and extend to fan pages and other related accounts.

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Hey everyone welcome to our first ever edition of a segment that we’re sure will take off – Conspiracy Corner! Yes, it’s the segment where we dissect the latest batshit nuttery from conservative conspiracy theorists. And you can rest assured that in this day and age where there’s a killer virus on the loose, the tin foil hat batshit will be flying hard and fast! And specifically I want to start by talking about a conspiracy that I knew nothing about until COVID hit Kathy Griffin last week, and the usual amount of hate coming from Trump trolls was exactly what I expected was there. But then there was this absolutely baffling conspiracy theory that I had no idea even existed until now. And this might be the single nuttiest thing they’ve come up with yet.

Right-wing “journalist” and Trump–worshiping conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin posted a video on YouTube last week in which she declared that the current COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak is really just a cover for the Trump administration to carry out the mass arrests long promised by QAnon, the right-wing conspiracy theory that posits that President Donald Trump has been working diligently to arrest countless prominent political, media, and business leaders for allegedly being part of a global satanic pedophile ring.

Crokin doubled down on this predication in a new video that she posted last night in which she and also speculated that celebrities like Tom Hanks and Idris Elba have contracted the virus by drinking adrenochrome that had been intentionally laced with the virus by “the white hats”—a computer security term used to refer to hackers who use their skills for good.

“I also believe that this virus was created by the cabal, specifically Bill Gates,” Crokin said. “I also believe that the good guys, the white hats, knew that they were going to release this virus, and they intercepted their plans to use this virus as a false flag. They are now using their plans with the virus against them by using the virus as an excuse to lock down the country and many other countries, so the military can go in and safely conduct these raids and military operations to sweep up these criminals.”

“There’s a lot of anons (i.e., believers in the QAnon conspiracy theory) that believe the white hats tainted the elite’s adrenochrome supply with the coronavirus, and that’s why so many members of the elite are getting the coronavirus,” she added. “Adrenochrome is a drug that the elites love. It comes from children. The drug is extracted from the pituitary gland of tortured children. It’s sold on the black market. It’s the drug of the elites. It is their favorite drug. It is beyond evil. It is demonic. It is so sick. So there is a theory that the white hats tainted the adrenochrome supply with the coronavirus.”

Absolutely! This might be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard coming from the Trump / Q crowd, and I’ve heard them say a lot of crazy shit. So their quest to find a global satanic pedophile ring has dwindled into believing that a tainted batch of a drug is made from the brainstems of children and aborted babies. See, this is what happens when we lack access to mental health facilities. They tend to become conspiracy theorists. So just how crazy are they lately? Well let’s ask Tom Hanks’ son, Chet.

Following a bizarre video posted to Instagram, Tom Hanks' son, Chet, now loses it completely over claims his family is involved with the Illuminati and the coronavirus.

After his mother and father were diagnosed with the coronavirus, Chet Hanks took to Instagram to post a shirtless video of himself where he offered an update about his parents' condition.

Conspiracy theorists immediately recognized the All-Seeing Eye of the Illuminati, aka the All-Seeing Eye of Horus, aka the All-Seeing Eye of Lucifer (in some circles), tattooed on the 29-year-old's chest.

The bizarre video saw Chet Hanks say that it came to his attention that a lot of Trump supporters realized the truth about him and his family, that they are Illuminati.

It also didn't help that his father, Tom Hanks, dropped the number "201" in a tweet about the coronavirus, as right around the release of the Coronavirus in China, the World Economic Forum and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation hosted Event 201, a high-level pandemic exercise on October 18, 2019, in New York, NY.

Yes, you absolutely sound insane, oh followers of the Q! I think I get it now – Tom Hanks is using 5G technology to send tainted batches of adrenochrome to his fellow celebrities so they purposefully get Coronavirus as part of an illuminati plot to destroy Trump! It’s so obvious now! Except of course for that part about nothing in that sentence being true. But this whole thing is all part of a massive disinformation campaign.

Scientific warnings are being ignored, misinformation is spreading, and prominent Republicans have said that addressing the problem is either too expensive or too difficult. No, this isn’t climate change: This is the new reality of the novel coronavirus, the deadly pandemic sweeping the planet.

Over the past several weeks, as global cases of COVID-19 have climbed to over 500,000, conspiracy theories and fake news have also been on the rise. On Monday a man died after ingesting chloroquine phosphate, an ingredient in an anti-malarial drug that President Trump had heralded as a coronavirus cure.

Meanwhile, the website Snopes has been forced to scale back its fact-checking work in response to the overwhelming number of fake stories around the pandemic. (Some disturbing highlights: claims that the coronavirus was released by world governments to distract from a planet-ending doomsday asteroid, or that breathing hot air from a hair dryer can kill the virus.)

But these wild conspiracy theories hide a larger problem: widespread skepticism about the severity of the crisis. President Trump downplayed the risk of the virus for months, saying the situation was “very much under control” and that the pandemic would go away by April. Anchors on Fox News initially denied that the coronavirus was a significant threat, calling concerned scientists and policymakers “panic pushers” conspiring to take down the president. Sean Hannity referred to it as “a new hoax.”

Dude, come on, you know things are bullshit when you overload Snopes. I mean that’s a site dedicated to tracking bullshit! You broke the fact checker, conspiracy theorists! I hope you are happy with yourselves! But this has opened up a can of worms that should not have been opened! Here’s the thing people, keep your god damn fake news and conspiracy theories to yourself. You want to see where this is leading? Let’s head to Iran to find out!

Two peculiarities to Iran are undercutting its response. One, Iranian scientists say, is U.S.-led sanctions that cripple the country’s ability to import drugs and protective gear or produce them at home. “It’s medical terrorism imposed on Iranian civilians,” fumes Mohammad Kazem Jafari, president of the International Institute of Earthquake Engineering and Seismology in Tehran. The other is self-inflicted: Iranian media has been awash with dubious “cures” for COVID-19—hundreds of Iranians reportedly have died or become blind after consuming bootleg methanol—and rhetoric dismissing the outbreak as a Western plot. “It’s a high-stakes battle between science and conspiracy theories,” says Kaveh Madani, an Iran specialist at Yale University and formerly a senior environmental official in Iran.

Iran reported its first confirmed COVID-19 cases on 19 February: two fatalities in the holy city of Qom. Many observers suspect the virus had gained a foothold earlier, and its spread may have been accelerated by rallies across Iran on 11 February to mark the anniversary of the 1979 revolution that drew hundreds of thousands of people, then by parliamentary elections 10 days later. Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei implored Iranians to come to the polls—the virus, he said, was being used as a pretext “to discourage people from voting.”

As the disease spread, Iran’s health ministry teamed up with the military and volunteers to equip and staff more than 1200 centers nationwide to screen for infected individuals, says Reza Malekzadeh, vice minister for research. But the government resisted imposing social distancing. President Hassan Rouhani on 25 February called the novel coronavirus “one of the enemy’s plots to bring our country into closure by spreading panic.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And while we’re all sidelined by the Coronavirus, you can rest assured that there’s no shortage of stupid people even while we’re all quarantined. And not only are we learning that people are dumb, we’re also learning that people are gross. Now I don’t want to report this as being stupid but in this day and age where there’s a supervirus living among us, this kind of thing just flat out should not happen. So here’s the thing, while people are inexplicably buying toilet paper, others are coming up with some various ways to cope. So much that the EPA is issuing a statement saying “don’t do this!!!!”.

The all-caps message on the new sign that went up in Redding, California, after the coronavirus came to town could not be any clearer: ONLY FLUSH TOILET PAPER.

It made its debut last week on the corner of Smile Place and Russell Street after a desperate soul clogged one of the city’s sewer lines by wiping with pieces of shredded T-shirt — and flushing them down the toilet, the city confirmed.

Quick work by members of the city’s Department of Public Works averted what could have been a smelly disaster, officials there said.

“The sewer line that had plugged up last week was not substantially different than any other sewer blockage from people flushing products that they aren’t supposed to, just that it was during the toilet paper shortage and was intentionally flushed in lieu of traditional toilet paper,” Ryan Bailey, assistant director of public works, said in an email to NBC News. “The item was specifically cut T-shirts.”

What happened in Redding is not an anomaly.

There have been reports of sewage systems and toilets clogging across the country as Americans faced with a shortage of toilet paper have resorted to using baby wipes, paper towels, napkins and tissues — and flushing them away.

Yes, listen to the great Cornholio. By using anything other than TP, and flushing that thing down the toilet, you are putting your life in danger. Speaking of people putting other people’s lives in danger, don’t be like this next moron. It’s one thing to accidentally cough in a public place, it’s another thing to intentionally cough. And in the days of Coronavirus and social distancing, that’s actually putting someone’s life in danger.

At a time when grocery store workers and truck drivers are putting in long hours and selflessly risking COVID-19 exposure to keep the shelves in our communities stocked, a "very twisted prank" just forced a supermarket in Pennsylvania to throw away practically their entire inventory of fresh produce.

"Today was a very challenging day," Joe Fasula, the co-owner of Gerrity's Supermarkets, posted on the store's Facebook page Wednesday. "At 2:20 PM today, I got a call from our Hanover Township store. The manager informed me that a woman, who the police know to be a chronic problem in the community, came in to the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and a small section of our bakery, meat case and grocery. While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all product she came in contact with."

The supermarket is now working with their local health inspector to ensure that they have identified and properly disinfected each of the areas that the woman potentially contaminated. They say, as a result, they have had to throw out more than $35,000 worth of food — a devastating thought at a time when many Americans are lining up to shop for necessities.

Yeah let’s save the boos for a new segment: “People Are Awful”. Speaking of people who are fucking awful, there’s the Coronavirus challenge going around. Yes, people think getting a deadly disease that fries your lungs is fucking hilarious. Just ask Tate Reeves and Key Ivey. It’s hilarious don’t you think? I mean well just ask these people who gathered at an Arkansas church. Gee, shocking, don’t you think?

Nearly three dozen people who attended a recent children's event at a church in Arkansas have tested positive for the coronavirus, according to church officials.

Donald Shipp, a deacon at First Assembly of God church in Greers Ferry, about 75 miles north of Little Rock, told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that 34 people who attended the event in early March at the Cleburne County church had tested positive for the coronavirus, and that an unknown number of others were awaiting test results.

... snip ...

"Even though we were the original positives, there are people who have been sick longer than we have," he said. "It clearly made its way through a special weekend of children’s ministry at our church."

He requested that people pray for health care workers, and he advised that people "take this medical threat more seriously."

"Maybe you assumed that it couldn’t happen to you, just like I did," he wrote. "Please adhere to the social instructions that you are receiving locally and nationally."

Read more: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1169471

Finally this week for the People Are Dumb category – I’m not even going to mention the fucking idiot who licked a toilet seat or the guy who used a fake tongue to lick a subway pole – you already know those guys are stupid. This time, our entrant into the People Are Dumb category – is Boris Johnson, yes, the PM of England. I always wondered which of our ragtag group of leaders would end up in this file, and I always assumed that it would be Trump. But then Boris Johnson comes along and says “Hold my pint of Boddingtons!”.

Whitty, who has appeared alongside Johnson at many of the daily press conferences held at Downing Street in the past two weeks, said he would spend the next week at home. "After experiencing symptoms compatible with COVID-19 last night, in line with the guidance, I will be self-isolating at home for the next seven days. I will be continuing to advise the Government on the medical response to Coronavirus, supported by my deputies," Whitty wrote on his Twitter page.

The announcements come just over a week after a top government adviser on the virus, Neil Ferguson, said he believed he had been infected and warned: "There is a lot of Covid-19 in Westminster," referring to the area of London that is home to the UK Parliament and other government premises.

Ferguson had met with the Prime Minister, as well as Whitty, and Chief Scientific Adviser Patrick Vallance. It was unclear, however, where Johnson may have contracted the virus.
Days earlier, the heir to the UK throne, Prince Charles, revealed that he had contracted the virus and was isolating himself at his estate in Scotland.

Johnson had been criticized for continuing to shake people's hands in public while government advice was to keep around two meters away from other people. The Prime Minister, Whitty and Vallance have been giving regular in-person press conferences to journalists on the virus after meetings.

Seriously, if this guy who was with BoJo was the health inspector? Is it any wonder why we’re fucked for the foreseeable future? I wish I had my staff here because someone really needs to pry my hand from my face. I know. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! Well, well, well. It has been quite the eventful Round 1 hasn’t it? If you’re wondering where you’re at so far, you can find the updated bracket posted weekly at the @10Idiots Twitter feed through the rest of the tournament. Last week, Nebraska stunned Tennessee to advance to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship. Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference, New Mexico hung on to defeat Missouri to advance to the Gun Nut Conference Championship! This week, Florida and Oregon duel it out for Gun Nut supremacy and the right to play New Mexico, while over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #1 Michigan goes for broke against red hot #2 Pennsylvania! Let’s go live to the floor of the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans for all the action!

[font size="4"]Oregon:[/font]

Folks, you might be thinking “Hey! Oregon is a blue state! Why are they here?”. Well, Oregon is home to that most liberal bastion of cities, the almighty Portland. But they’re also home to some of the country’s most extreme militia groups like the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers. But once you get outside the major cities, there is a venerable melting pot of some of our favorite people like anti-government extremists and doomsday preppers. But in the day and age of Coronavirus how are things holding up in that part of the world?

He had never owned a gun before, but last week, a Pendleton man decided it was time.

John Battenfield went to the local farm and ranch supply store to make the purchase. After waiting a couple of days for his background check to clear, he returned and picked up the gun.

He was one of thousands around the state that day to do so.

In the one month since the coronavirus reached Oregon, waves of layoffs and social restrictions have given rise to panicked buying. Oregonians are stocking up in bulk on household and health care items like toilet paper, hand sanitizer and bottled water. But they’re also buying guns and ammunition in staggering numbers.

The state police department has seen a sudden surge of requests to perform background checks required to purchase firearms. Gun store owners attribute the increase in sales to visits from regular customers, but say many people are also coming in to buy their first gun. One county law enforcement agency said similar spikes happen when people fear lawmakers might pass new gun restrictions.

Well in this case they might not be compensating. But there was that insane plan to split Oregon because conservatives can dish it out, but they sure as hell can’t take it. When you come at them, they scream and cry and run the other way. Because when you get a bunch of gun nuts in the room, this happens. Much like that insane plan to split Virginia in two.

La PINE, Ore. (KTVZ) -- A retired La Pine nurseryman is a chief petitioner for the latest secession movement to draw attention in the West, a bid to add much of Oregon's southern, central and eastern counties into Idaho -- not including Bend or Sisters, but including Redmond, Madras and Prineville.

The Oregonian noted in its story Monday about the "Move Oregon's Border for a Greater Idaho" movement that there's always "talk of secession in the air," such as the long-standing Cascadia effort and the call for a conservative, rural state of Jefferson.

Mike McCarter, the La Pine resident who's helping lead the latest effort, told the paper he's backed the state of Jefferson movement, but doesn't see secession happening.

Instead, he's shooting for something far less constitutionally sticky -- moving a state's borders. He noted that's happened on a smaller scale in past decades elsewhere in the country.

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Ah, the Sunshine State. America’s most penis shaped state of Florida is always good for bringing the insanity. And guns. Boy, do they have a lot of guns in Florida. Our 2018 Stupidest State champion has rebuilt their team and heavily armed them. Once again, as we have reported all around the country, Florida has seen a rise in the sale of guns. That is probably true anywhere, but Miami is going to be in for a very long and rocky ride through this whole pandemic.

The coronavirus pandemic is defining for the globe what's “essential” and what things we really can't do without, even though we might not need them for survival.

Attempting to slow the spread of the virus, authorities in many places are determining what shops and services can remain open. They're also restricting citizens from leaving their homes. Stay-at-home orders or guidance are affecting more than one-fifth of the world's population.

This has left many contemplating an existential question: What, really, is essential?

Whether it is in Asia, Europe, Africa or the United States, there's general agreement: Health care workers, law enforcement, utility workers, food production and communications are generally exempt from lockdowns.

But some lists of exempted activities reflect a national identity, or the efforts of lobbyists.

It’s good to know that in the age of pandemic that America has its’ priorities. Well, at least France’s are less violent. So what’s selling during this time of pandemic? Oh, just the essentials. Not so much food and anything necessary to survive. But instead, it loves guns, booze, and toilet paper. Yes, guns, booze, and toilet paper are what is selling. I’m going to need a lot more booze to get through this thing.

In tough times, we love toilet paper, guns and booze. Those are the obvious takeaways from the past few weeks.

TP remains elusive enough that an over-anxious Publix shopper elbowed me and the man in front of me to grab a 12-pack of the soft stuff on the weekend. Just the thought that he might not get one of the hundreds of packs lining the shelf sent him into survival mode. He nearly trampled a white-haired woman when he moved on to paper towels, also in abundant supply that day.

Gun shops report a brisk business, so brisk that popular calibers of ammunition are being rationed.

And then there’s alcohol. Apparently, shelter-in-place is a lot more palatable with a bottle of Jack Daniels — or three. Sales at stores nationwide were up nearly 28 percent for wine, 27 percent for liquor and 14 percent for beer in the week that ended March 14, according to Nielsen, which compiles data on what consumers watch and buy.

Virtual happy hours, where people visit with friends and family using video calling services like Zoom, appear to be helping prop up sales. Online scheduling platform Doodle recorded a 296 percent increase in the boozy meetings in March compared to February, CNBC reported.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: :[/font]

Oh my god, ladies and gentlemen, we have an upset brewing! Florida has trounced Oregon by a score of 25! And this might be the highest score of the tournament so far. Final score – 119 – 94! Both teams gave it their all, but the almighty Florida will advance.

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So Michigan is a longtime staple of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. If you want to see where the Koch and Heritage Foundation talking points are leading, look no further than the city of Flint, where the city still has no functioning water supply. And in this day and age, having viable drinking water is very important. They’re also hurting for money, and when Trump comes to town, he leaves behind a trail of destruction and debt.

Battle Creek released to the public how much it spent hosting President Trump for a rally in December.

The City spent approximately $93,000 on the presidential campaign rally.

According to the city, over 95 percent of that money was spent on staffing.

The rally was staffed by members of the fire department, police department, city building maintenance, The Department of Public Works, Battle Creek Executive Airport at Kellogg Field, and Battle Creek Transit.

The amount spent on staffing does not include the amount of time and resources used by salaried staff to plan for the event.

The city said the other 5 percent of costs were spent on supplies to make the event possible and safe, like barricades and cinder blocks, city vehicles, and translation into Spanish and Burmese.

The total cost estimated by the city does not include the cost of using the venue.

The city does not have to pay to use the venue, since they own it, but does have to pay for operation.

So those MAGA rallies aren’t exactly all that they’re made out to be. But this is why elections matter – any other governor in the country would have succumbed to this, but Michigan has Gretchen Whitmer, who is proving to be one of the cooler heads through this tragedy. But yes, elections matter at every single level. Or else!

The Michigan Chamber of Commerce and other business groups are warning Gov. Gretchen Whitmer about potential repercussions of a blanket stay-at-home order that would force employers to temporarily halt operations.

Governors in California, Illinois and New York have already issued orders to keep people at home unless they have essential reasons for leaving in order to stem the spread of COVID-19. Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine on Sunday announced that he will enact an order to stay at home starting Tuesday. Supporters of the orders say they are key necessary to combat a virus that could overwhelm hospitals. On Friday, Whitmer said Michigan was not at the point "where a shutdown is needed."

Rich Studley, president and CEO of the Michigan Chamber, wrote a letter to Whitmer on Friday recommending, "at this time," against an order "that most if not all 877,000 businesses in Michigan should be closed while a select few are allowed to stay open."

"We cannot risk a disruption in the supply chain or a break in the distribution cycle," Studley wrote. "In addition, many businesses have non-interruptible operations and those operations need to be protected as we move forward.

[font size="4"]Pennsylvania:[/font]

The Keystone State are long time conservative idiocy champions. They are home to two of the biggest cities in the country – Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. It’s also home to mountain towns and coal mining towns, all of which have been ransacked by reckless Koch policies. So here’s how much that line of thinking is hurting the Keystone State. Did you think that a diet tax on soda would stop people from drinking soda? No? Neither did we!

Philadelphia’s tax on soda and other sweetened beverages has not reduced residents’ consumption of such drinks, according to a new study.

Philadelphians reported a slight but not statistically significant decrease in sugary beverage consumption compared with residents of nearby cities without a tax, Drexel University researchers found in surveys taken before and after the tax took effect.

“We have ample evidence that sugary beverages are connected to type 2 diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and other health issues, but we’re seeing that raising the price of sugary beverages may not impact consumers who don’t drink a lot of soda,” Amy Auchincloss, an associate professor at Drexel’s Dornsife School of Public Health, said in a statement about the research.

Philadelphia became the first large U.S. city to pass a tax on soda in 2016. Mayor Jim Kenney championed the tax as a means of funding pre-K, community schools, and improvements to parks, recreation centers, and libraries. Public health advocates praised Philadelphia’s levy and have pointed to taxes on soda as a means of reducing consumption and improving residents’ health.

Read more: https://www.inquirer.com/politics/philadelphia/philadelphia-soda-tax-drexel-study-20200227.html

Yeah so that happened. Even worse is when your travel budget is so overblown that you have to spend money to figure out how to spend money! Ever wonder why we’re in a bureaucracy? Well, let’s look at a level of money spending that is to figure out how a department spends money. It’s Inception, but for accountants and auditors!

Pennsylvania’s largest pension fund is auditing its travel expenses after reporting by the Capital-Star revealed opaque expense records for cross-country travel.

The Pennsylvania Public School Employees’ Retirement System board’s audit committee approved the deep dive Friday during a meeting in Harrisburg.

“We’re trying to make sure there is no independence question,” Rep. Frank Ryan, R-Lebanon, and chair of PSERS’ audit committee, said. Ryan said the report should focus on “operational red flags” in the travel, paid for by taxpayers and booked by an investment partner.

The committee’s request follows reporting by the Capital-Star that revealed limited expense records of travel to Los Angeles.

Read more: https://www.penncapital-star.com/government-politics/teacher-pension-fund-to-audit-travel-expenses-over-la-trips/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: :[/font]

Ooh this is a close one, but Michigan is going to hang on to advance to Round 2. Final score – 83 – 77.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

It’s the final week of Round 1 and this time we’re live in Lexington, Kentucky at the home of the UK Wildcats, where Idaho goes stir crazy against South Carolina in a battle for Batshit supremacy, while over in the Family Values Conference, Indiana is praying for a win against Ohio and the right play Alabama in the conference championship! It’s getting exciting folks!

Thank you very much for being with us through this home edition! It’s unfortunately going to be like this for the next few weeks. But we will get through it! Yes, we will. See you next week!


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