HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Top 10 Idiots » Journal
Page: 1

Top 10 Idiots

Profile Information

Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 412

About Me

This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-19: Nobody Cared Who I Was Until I Put On The Mask Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-19: Nobody Cared Who I Was Until I Put On The Mask Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sigh we are finally at the end of the 8th season everybody and this unfortunately is not the sendoff it deserves but we finally got there! How’s everyone doing from home? Yeah we’re going stir crazy too. I really can’t wait to leave this void and get back out on the road and do some Top 10s the way we used to. Of course we’ll start out small – work the crowd from our new home at the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank. And then we hopefully will branch out and start touring some of the other venues in California when touring permits. Do we have time for the thing? You sad that all your calendar events got canceled because of the shithead virus that’s ravaging everything? Me too. I lost a lot of money on events that I had, including two this last weekend. But some good news - Yeah we finally have something to look forward to everybody!!! I mean finally! In the sea of just bad news and shit hitting the fan, we finally have a light at the end of the tunnel of cancelations! And it’s a movie that I am very much looking forward to – Christopher Nolan’s latest magnum opus Tenant. Which of course is a movie about racing against time to save the world, and boy does our world need saving right now! But when does it come out? Nobody knows, because people don’t know when theaters are going to reopen. But we finally have something on the horizon that’s not being cancelled! Boy that is a sight for sore eyes! Finally! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he discusses the possibility that there’s another virus out there destroying everything it touches:

So far nothing this year has turned out the way we wanted. At least we’re getting a season finale even if it’s not what we expected. I mean come on it’s an election year! Taking the top slot this week, the guy who should be leading by example is our president, Donald J. Trump (1) and well, he isn’t, in his refusal to wear a mask in public. In the second slot this week, we’re going to talk about ways to reopen the country safely (2). Of course this is American and we don’t like being told what to do, so it’s every one for themselves! Taking the third slot this week is the Lockdown Protests (3), or as we’re calling this piece, “Lockdown Palace”. Yeah the protestors are getting crazier and scarier and we’re in for some insane times ahead this year. In the fourth slot this week is Q Anon Supporters (4) – is there a very real possibility that a Q supporter could win a Senate Seat? Oh yes there is, and be afraid, be very afraid. Taking the fifth slot this week is a new edition of our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5). This week did NASA discover a parallel universe where time runs backwards and the laws of physics are upside down? We will investigate! Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6). This week – congregations all across America and the world are figuring out ways to reopen safely amid the pandemic, and our resident pastor is going to go over which is which! In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). And singer Lana Del Rey is no stranger to controversy, but is she advocating that there’s a double standard among women in music? Controversy alert!!! In the 8th slot this week we have a new edition of the segment that debunks conspiracy theories – Conspiracy Corner (8)! People, stop destroying 5G cell phone towers! They’re not giving you Coronavirus! Stop it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we have a new “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week we’re going to give you an update on the College Admissions Scandal known as “Operation: Varsity Blues”! I don’t want your life! Finally this week it’s The Stupidest State Championship! Michigan vs Florida. One of these states will win it all! The champagne is on ice! And I know we can’t give this season the proper sendoff it deserves with a band and live audience, but we will have a performance from one of my favorites, Australia’s King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump Vs The Mask
[br] [/font]

Hey kids! Gather around! It’s time for another edition of Goofus Vs. Gallant! Though in this case, the role of Gallant is being played by our future 46th president and the embodiment of what a real leader of the free world should look and act like, Joseph Biden. Meanwhile, the part of Goofus, will be played by our current 45th president and the guy who is a bumbling dumbass who always makes the wrong decision no matter what the scenario is, and that’s Donald J. Trump. In short, don’t be like Goofus. Look, nobody likes wearing these masks. And I do mean nobody. But as long as this god forsaken virus is still a thing, we have to. The latest on this insanity.

President Donald Trump on Thursday did not wear a mask for coronavirus protection during the public part of touring a Ford Motor Co. plant in Michigan, despite a state law and company policy requiring facial coverings there.

Trump, who has consistently refused to wear a mask in public, was visiting Ford’s Rawsonville Components Plant in Ypsilanti, which has a policy of requiring masks there. The plant is currently making ventilators in response to the Covid-19 pandemic in the United States.

Video showed Trump on the factory floor talking to Ford executives who were wearing masks.

“Not necessary,” Trump said, when a reporter asked why he was not wearing a facial covering.

“Everybody’s been tested and I’ve been tested.”

Yes, nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask! Of course nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask either! Hey o! of course that’s the kind of joke that would kill in front of a live audience, which I wish I had right now! So that’s how Goofus would handle the situation. Now let’s see how Gallant, aka Joe Biden, would handle the situation. See, he’s a guy who listens to experts and doesn’t let his ego get in the way. That’s what a real leader does!

The CDC recommends it, but the president mocks it. President Trump on Monday shared a tweet making fun of Joe Biden for wearing a mask in public — a step to help reduce the spread of the coronavirus that the president has not followed.

Mr. Trump shared a tweet from Fox News political analyst Brit Hume showing a picture of Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee, wearing sunglasses and a black mask that covered much of his face at a Memorial Day ceremony. "This might help explain why Trump doesn't like to wear a mask in public," Hume wrote.

Biden wore the mask as he and his wife Jill laid a wreath at the Delaware Memorial Bridge in Wilmington. He kept it on as he told reporters his message to the country on Memorial Day: "Never forget the sacrifices that these men and women made. Never, ever, forget."

It was Biden's first public appearance in two months, as he has been campaigning virtually from his home in Wilmington during the pandemic. Biden's wife and members of his staff were also seen wearing masks.

Yes, this does give you power. Because right now, I can guarantee nobody likes wearing masks or living in this nightmarish world where you can’t talk to anybody or touch anything. Nothing sucks more ass than this does. But the sooner we abide by the rules, the sooner society gets back to normal. And believe me I want normal to come back! But once again the conspiracy theorists make it weird, and boy do they make it weird.

There may have been only a few hundred MAGA faithful gathered Thursday afternoon for Donald Trump’s latest visit to a factory churning out essential gear for the fight against COVID-19, but the right-wing carnival energy essential to his bygone arena rallies was in full effect.

So was the bizarro circus over the president of the United States’ distaste for protective masks.

Loud country music blared from a pickup truck. A supporter waved a flag portraying Trump as a muscle-bound GI Joe with a machine gun. Another held a sign portraying Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer—who has emerged as a bête noire of the right for her aggressive efforts to rein in the coronavirus outbreak—with a Hitler mustache.

It was a small-but-mighty welcome for a president making a legally fraught visit to the nearby Ford Rawsonville Plant, a facility that has been retooled to produce the same ventilators the president has suggested panicked governors may not even need.

Oh and by the way people, don’t go dressing as fucking Bane or wearing any kind of costumes during this thing. That doesn’t help things. That’s the sort of thing Goofus would do. And by the way, let’s take a moment to extrapolate this - the guy who wears lifts in his shoes, adult diapers, a girdle, and copious amounts of bronzer and hair products, is complaining that wearing a mask makes him look totally ridiculous. Let that sink in for a moment.

President Donald Trump brought a navy blue mask stamped with the presidential seal to a Ford plant in Michigan on Thursday. But he refused to wear it in front of cameras.

"I didn't want to give the press the pleasure of seeing it," Trump said before showing off his fabric face covering, which he said he'd briefly strapped on backstage before removing for a tour of the factory. "It was very nice. It looked very nice. They said not necessary."

It was another example of Trump shrugging off the rules in place for others that are meant to guard against the coronavirus. As he walked through the facility -- where Ford rules say everyone must wear a mask -- he was surrounded by company executives whose faces were covered.

"It's up to him," said Bill Ford, the company's chairman, when asked why Trump wasn't following his company's guidelines. Later, a company spokesman said Ford -- the great-grandson of company founder Henry Ford -- "encouraged President Trump to wear a mask when he arrived."

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Reopening The Country
[br] [/font]

The economic fallout from the Coronavirus response has been, well, to put it bluntly, not good. In fact it’s been almost as big of a disaster as the virus itself. As it wreaks havoc around the world, we’re starting to see just how fragile our economy really is. And it’s going to take an FDR style effort to repair it once the dust has been settled once and for all. But we’re all just numbers, or to use the Trump administration’s terminology, “human stock capital”. Yeah I can hear the boos on that one, but save them until we show you what that really means. What does it really mean? Well, basically we’re all walking dollar signs to the upper 1%.

President Donald Trump’s senior economic adviser, Kevin Hassett, presented a cold view of the U.S. economic system Sunday, referring to American workers as “human capital stock.”

In a Sunday interview on CNN, Hassett predicted that business would pick up again soon.

“Our human capital stock is ready to get back to work,” he said, while admitting at the same time that the nation will continue to struggle with unemployment as high as 23% this month.

The smiling Hassett seemed blithely calm about an unemployment rate “north of 20%” in May, which may be higher in June and will likely be in the double digits by November, he said.

Critics on Twitter didn’t take to Hassett’s terminology — or the fact that workers will be bringing up the caboose again while potentially risking their lives if there’s a second COVID-19 spike, which Hassett didn’t even acknowledge.

Yes and that’s the question we need to keep asking ourselves – what could go wrong? Well I know that our president isn’t taking this seriously. How do I know that? Just take a look at his Twitter feed – this was an actual tweet by the president of the United States. Oh how I wish I could say I am making this up.


If there ever was an argument for why we need education, just remember that this guy is the president of the United States! Seriously he’s President Kevin Malone. And what else could go wrong you might ask? Well let’s look at barbers, people have been using the haircut as a symbol of coronavirus freedom, but guess what? Well..

Two hairstylists who tested positive for COVID-19 may have exposed 140 customers to the virus.

The stylists worked at the same Great Clips salon location in Springfield, Missouri.

One COVID-positive stylist continued going to work despite experiencing symptoms of the virus for eight days, exposing 84 clients and seven colleagues, the Springfield-Greene County Health Department announced Friday.

A second COVID-positive stylist at the salon “potentially directly exposed” 56 more clients after working for five days while “experiencing very mild symptoms," health department officials said.

The business was legally open in accordance with Missouri’s reopening guidelines amid the coronavirus pandemic.

The stylists and their clients were wearing face coverings, a policy that was enforced by the Great Clips staff.

Holy shit! From two hairstylists to nearly 140 customers! That is, um, to put it scientifically, a shit hitting the fan level of infection. You know what else could go wrong? Well the lack of humans has wreaked havoc on the city animal population – something we may have to explore for a future Top 10 Investigates. But America’s rats, feral cats, pigeons, and other bottom feeders are going to have a rough time while Americans continue to social distance.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has warned of “unusual or aggressive” behavior in American rats as a consequence of more than two months of human lockdown for city-dwelling rodents who now find themselves unable to dine out on restaurant waste, street garbage and other food sources.

Last month, according to the national health body, dumpster-diving rats were observed resorting to eating their young in the wake of urban shutdowns. “Community-wide closures have led to a decrease in food available to rodents, especially in dense commercial areas,” the CDC said in recently updated rodent-control guidelines.

“Some jurisdictions have reported an increase in rodent activity as rodents search for new sources of food. Environmental health and rodent control programs may see an increase in service requests related to rodents and reports of unusual or aggressive rodent behavior.”

Elevated levels of rat aggression has been observed in New York, where there are increased reports of cannibalism and infanticide, and New Orleans, where unusual rat behavior was caught on CCTV. I turn the corner, there’s about 30 rats at the corner, feasting on something in the middle of the street,” Bourbon street tour guide Charles Marsala told CBS News...

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/25/us-city-lockdowns-rat-aggression-lack-food-waste

I can imagine that’s where this is going. But the other thing is that reopening America can be done if done properly, and that’s the narrative that governors like Newsom and Inslay are trying to convey, but it seems more people are willing to jump in the deep end than wade in the shallow end, especially since cases of CV have not gone down. Oh it’s going to get worse, so much worse. But if you do go out, consider the consequences!

Images of a jampacked pool party at Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri over the Memorial Day weekend prompted St. Louis County to issue a travel advisory and the Kansas City health director to call for self-quarantine of the revelers.

The advisory by the St. Louis County Public Health Department cited news reports of large crowds at Lake of the Ozarks, where hundreds of people were recorded squeezed closely together amid the coronavirus epidemic.

"This reckless behavior endangers countless people and risks setting us back substantially from the progress we have made in slowing the spread of COVID

The health department expressed concern in its travel advisory that people from the St. Louis area were at Lake of the Ozarks over the weekend. "Any person who has travelled and engaged in this behavior should self-quarantine for 14 days or until they receive a negative test result for COVID-19," the advisory said.

Read more: https://www.today.com/health/missouri-health-officials-call-self-quarantine-partiers-lake-ozarks-t182413?cid=sm_npd_td_tw_ma

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]MAGA Protestors
[br] [/font]

There’s no question that the Coronavirus outbreak has the potential to be the biggest disaster of a generation and could have social and economic consequences that will last way until the next century, even after eradication. So naturally the masses from both sides are getting pissed and we want some answers. But there’s only one side that is taking it to the streets and protesting in mass numbers. And they’re not wearing masks. OK maybe they are wearing masks as V For Vendetta characters. Which, if you explain them the true meaning of the movie, well… they might not take it so well. So how are the MAGA protests going? Let’s take a look at my home state of California where they’re going after Gov. Newsom hard.

A major protest rally against California Governor Gavin Newsom's stay-at-home order began at the state Capitol Saturday morning, with more than 2,000 demonstrators gathered in Sacramento to demand lockdown measures be lifted.

The demonstration, called 'Liberty Fest,' has been touted by organizers as the country's largest Memorial Day weekend protest against lockdown measures put in place to limit the spread of coronavirus.

Hundreds of protesters gathered along the street across from the Capitol building before noon, some wearing t-shirts that read: "Resist. Rise. Revolt. Reopen."

Saturday's programming at the demonstration involved protesting, live music, barbecues and a tailgate party, according to The Sacramento Bee.

Reporters and officers at the scene wore masks, but most of the protesters did not, according to images shared to social media of the event. Many in attendance also failed to adhere to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) guidelines on social distancing as they marched around the Capitol building.

Judging by their looks, I don’t think any of these men and women will be performing hunger strikes any time soon. Hey o!!! See what I did there? Of course we’re at the stage of the pandemic where we’re getting extremely restless. If you look at 1918, it was at this point where the dreaded second wave first started appearing, even as cases went down. So do you trade responsibility for freedoms? This is America, nobody wants to be responsible for anything!

The COVID-19 pandemic has transformed many bustling routines into dull days. People have been advised to stay home, avoid non-essential travel to “flatten the curve,” and ensure COVID-19 doesn’t overwhelm the healthcare system. While a small minority, some in BC feel that these measurements are oppressive. In April and May, these protestors marched the streets of Vancouver, flailing their signs and screeching for BC to reopen. This is a dangerous and egocentric response to the COVID-19 outbreak and the public health measures meant to keep people safe.

While the anti-lockdown protests may be a result of mere ignorance or misunderstanding, they have tangible, negative effects on the containment of coronavirus. Not only do they fail to consider the capacity of our healthcare system and endanger the health of others by ignoring social distancing recommendations, these protests are also providing a platform that actively encourages others to do the same.

Studies have shown that coordination amongst individuals is necessary for quarantine restrictions to take effect. While the Vancouver protest in mid-April consisted of only a few people, a video of it received over 21,000 likes on Twitter. This gives a voice to those who are already skeptical of the COVID-19 pandemic and increases confirmation bias — a rejection of any information that disagrees with the preconceived notion that COVID-19 isn’t a threat. The resultant inability to gather information objectively normalizes doubt in health officials and creates further unrest about the perceived “oppressive” measures of the government.

Concerns about government overreach during these times aren’t necessarily unfounded. However, the belief that legitimate quarantine restrictions for public safety violates citizens’ rights to freedom is a fundamental misunderstanding of how our society functions.

Just wait until that chant gets heard outside Sacramento! But the US isn’t the only country experiencing protests from the ultra far right. Of course I’ve mentioned frequently on this program that the ultra far right are the same no matter what country you visit. Remember when we used to visit other countries before the pandemic? That was nice. But let’s take a look at Spain for instance.

Thousands of people in Spain are protesting against the government's handling of the coronavirus outbreak.

The far-right Vox party urged supporters to drive through major cities without leaving their vehicles in order to maintain social distancing.

Protesters in the capital, Madrid, drove in convoy and waved Spanish flags as they called for socialist Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez to resign.

Spain imposed some of the tightest restrictions in Europe on 14 March.

It has eased restrictions in recent weeks, but Madrid and Barcelona have remained under tight lockdown due to their more severe outbreaks of Covid-19.

Both cities will begin to relax their curbs from Monday by allowing outdoor dining and gatherings of up to 10 people.

Hey MAGAs, conservatives, and Trump supporters – let me liberal ‘splain something for you – we both want the same thing! No one wants social distancing. No one wants to live in this weird, isolated world that we’ve become since the pandemic. We all want things to go back to the normal we had before the nightmare started. I want to go back to seeing movies, live shows and sports again. I want to resume traveling and touring again! But if you don’t follow the rules during the pandemic, there might not be a normal to return to! Especially if this guy gets his way!

In North Carolina, an anti-lockdown movement that has gained momentum since April took a new turn: The founder's husband said he wouldn't rule out violence to avoid coronavirus-related safety measures.

"Are we willing to kill people? Are we willing to lay our lives down? We have to say yes," Adam Smith, the husband of ReOpen NC leader and founder Ashley Smith, said in a series of videos on Friday. He deleted the videos after news outlet Raw Story began reporting on them.

"Is that violence? Is that terrorism? No, it's not terrorism," he continued. "I'm not trying to strike fear in people by saying, 'I'm going to kill you.' I'm gonna say, 'If you bring guns, I'm gonna bring guns. If you're armed with this, we're going to be armed with this.'"

ReOpen NC, a protest group that held demonstrations in five cities across the state on Monday, was formed less than two months ago, according to its social media page.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]QAnon In The Senate
[br] [/font]

Every fringe group has run candidates for office. Does it mean that they are successful in doing so? Well we finally got a Tea Party president after putting up with 10 years of their bullshit, so there is that. The latest fringe group is the Trump-worshipping cult that originated in the dark corners of the internet known as Q Anon. A conspiracy group that alleges that Trump is going to mass arrest many of his most prominent political opponents including former president Obama and Hillary Clinton. Now not only have they run a lunatic fringe candidate, they were successful in running said lunatic fringe candidate! Meet Jo Rae Perkins, who just won a very hotly contested primary in the state of Oregon. And well, she is definitely what the Q nuts look for.

Oregon Republicans nominated Albany financial adviser Jo Rae Perkins Tuesday to challenge Democratic incumbent U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley in November. Her Election Day address to voters ignited a social-media firestorm.

In a video posted on Perkins’ Twitter account, she expresses support for the QAnon conspiracy theory, which posits that a shadowy cabal of elites — often liberals — operates a global human trafficking ring, and engages in the ritualistic abuse and sacrifice of children. Many supporters claim President Donald Trump is carrying out a covert mission to break up the “deep state,” a term used to refer to the governmental portion of the “cabal,” and end the supposed trafficking ring.

“Where we go one, we go all,” Perkins says in the video, referencing a main slogan that has dominated internet forums associated with the conspiracy theory. “I stand with President Trump. I stand with ‘Q’ and the team.”

After her statements brought a wave of national attention, she appears to have retreated from her support and deleted the video from her Twitter account.

Yeah probably! The fact that a lunatic fringe cult could have someone in the US Senate is a very real and very frightening prospect. Sure there are cults both good and bad, but let’s say for this piece, that they’re mostly bad. Come on, everything from the Branch Davidians to Heaven’s Gate and now Q Anon, yeah, they’ve given us nothing but bad things.

Oregon held its primary election on Tuesday, a mostly ho-hum affair, with Joe Biden cruising to a win over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic presidential race and no incumbents facing any real tests either.

You'll notice I said that it was a "mostly" boring election, not an entirely boring election. In fact, Oregon Republicans did something very, very odd -- and potentially disastrous -- in choosing their nominee to take on Democratic Sen. Jeff Merkley in November.

What they did is nominate Jo Rae Perkins, a financial adviser and self-professed QAnon conspiracy theorist. In a video posted to Twitter following her victory, Perkins said this:

"Where we go one, we go all. I stand with President Trump. I stand with Q and the team. Thank you Anons and thank you patriots -- and together we can save our republic."

What, you ask, is QAnon? It's a broad-scale Internet-based conspiracy theory begun in early 2017 that is based on a belief that there is a high-level government official -- "Q" -- who sprinkles clues on internet message boards like 4chan and 8chan about a massive "deep state" conspiracy (or series of conspiracies) at work in the country.

Yeah so when you see a MAGA follower on Twitter spouting slogans like WW1WGA and promoting pro-Trump conspiracies, you can almost guarantee that they are an unhinged lunatic! But even Trump himself is upping the war on the conspiracy front. You can see this on Twitter where he is attempting to peg Joe Scarborough for an alleged murder that happened 19 years ago. Now do the 100,000 who have died from COVID. No conspiracy there.

Who knows these days precisely what reaction President Donald Trump expects from the world when he opens his mouth?

Always a prolific tweeter, over the past three days he’s gone off like a pack of Mentos dropped in a Diet Coke, tweeting up a foam about “Obamagate,” Joe Scarborough, Meet the Press’ mistake, the opening of his golf courses, his picks in congressional races and more. He’s even retweeted QAnon-related accounts. On Monday afternoon, Trump brought his magnifying mania to his press conference in the Rose Garden. Staged against a backdrop of four U.S. flags and a pair of posters, the event looked more like a campaign rally than a presser. “America Leads the World in Testing,” the twin posters stated, and each featured a printed U.S. flag for heraldic emphasis. It would not have been out of place had an official entered from the wings and placed a gold medal around Trump’s neck and a laurel wreath on his blondish mop.

Trump’s opening comments did not match the celebratory theatrics of the set design. Except for a single calculated line, “We have met the moment and we have prevailed,” the remarks were the usual barge-full of sloshing Trumpspeak. Not even a fireworks display could have given the moment the elevation Trump appeared to seek. When the time finally came for reporters to grill him, Trump did not field—and could not possibly have expected to have fielded—the “congratulations, great job“ queries he has said in the past that he deserves. Instead, reporters asked, as they frequently do, and should do, direct questions about making testing available to all Americans on demand, not just White House staffers.

Yeah that is some serious crazy there! But here’s the thing, to understand Q, you must… well I am not exactly going to advocate going to 4chan and becoming a member so you can explore the depths of their insanity, because you will not be able to comprehend it. But considering we have a president who loves him some conspiracy theories and an internet willing to promote them, having someone in the Senate could be a disaster. Remember the good old days when conspiracy theories were just about Bigfoot and Area 51?

The origins of QAnon are recent, but even so, separating myth from reality can be hard. One place to begin is with Edgar Maddison Welch, a deeply religious father of two, who until Sunday, December 4, 2016, had lived an unremarkable life in the small town of Salisbury, North Carolina. That morning, Welch grabbed his cellphone, a box of shotgun shells, and three loaded guns—a 9-mm AR-15 rifle, a six-shot .38‑caliber Colt revolver, and a shotgun—and hopped into his Toyota Prius. He drove 360 miles to a well-to-do neighborhood in Northwest Washington, D.C.; parked his car; put the revolver in a holster at his hip; held the AR-15 rifle across his chest; and walked through the front door of a pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong.

Comet happens to be the place where, on a Sunday afternoon two years earlier, my then-baby daughter tried her first-ever sip of water. Kids gather there with their parents and teammates after soccer games on Saturdays, and local bands perform on the weekends. In the back, children challenge their grandparents to Ping-Pong matches as they wait for their pizzas to come out of the big clay oven in the middle of the restaurant. Comet Ping Pong is a beloved spot in Washington.

That day, people noticed Welch right away. An AR-15 rifle makes for a conspicuous sash in most social settings, but especially at a place like Comet. As parents, children, and employees rushed outside, many still chewing, Welch began to move through the restaurant, at one point attempting to use a butter knife to pry open a locked door, before giving up and firing several rounds from his rifle into the lock. Behind the door was a small computer-storage closet. This was not what he was expecting.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Parallel Universes
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

One question that man kind has asked since the beginning is “are we alone in the universe?”. While the military may have recently answered that question, there are still many other questions that need to be answered. Parallel universes are a concept as old as science fiction itself – imagine an entire universe completely identical to ours, only one tiny aspect of it might have been changed, such as time or hair color, or say people’s language. But what happens when science fiction and actual science collide? We dig deeper into this story and there may be more to it than people think. Last week NASA scientists working in the Antarctic might have actually discovered that one such parallel universe may actually exist. And it has one rather bizarre trait that makes it different from ours.

Science fiction and actual science may be aligning. That’s because NASA scientists have discovered something they can’t explain any way other than that they may have found evidence of a parallel universe.

This discovery was made by the NASA-sponsored research group Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna, or ANITA. The group was funded for $35 million in 2003 to look for and study “ghostly particles that fill the universe,” according to NASA. The project uses a specially made balloon that “detects radio waves emitted when high-energy neutrinos interact in the Antarctic ice shelf,” NASA reported. The mission is being led by Peter W. Gorham of the University of Hawaii at Manoa in Honolulu.

According to New Scientist, the balloon, which holds antennae, would go up for a month and scan thousands of miles of antarctic air looking for high-energy particles coming down from space. After two flights over more than two years, the results only yielded brief moments of background noise but nothing else.

During the balloon’s third flight, scientists decided to look over the data from the previous flights again — specifically at the random noises it recorded. What they discovered, according to New Scientist, was something impossible. The signal wasn’t coming down from space but up from the ground.

So there is a possibility that that universe could exist! But what caused the parallel universe and what could make NASA draw that conclusion? Well it was a very well timed experiment to measure the air pressure on the south pole. But however, this parallel universe has one unique trait in that time actually runs backwards. Does this mean that we can live in a world where COVID-19 doesn’t exist?

Abed may have been onto something in Community when he said he couldn't let go of the idea of parallel timelines, some darker than others. Sure, there's an explanation to be had with Schroedinger's equation within the logic of the show and the dice roll that created those universes, but researchers believe they've found evidence of the potential for a parallel universe in high-energy particles found in Antarctica, according to New Scientist.

The researchers were perplexed by "a fountain of high-energy particles erupting from the ice" in Antarctica at NASA's Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna (ANITA). The phenomenon detected is "in pretty strong tension with the standard model of physics," University of Hawaii Physics and Astronomy Professor Peter Gorham said in 2018. These high-energy particles arrive from space, but cannot pass through the solid mass of the Earth. Yet, instead of detecting these particles coming from space or reflecting off the ice, ANITA has found them coming up from the ice. Low-energy neutrinos, per New Scientist, can pass through solid matter like the Earth, but that's not the case with high-energy neutrinos.

ANITA is a stratospheric balloon designed to detect cosmic-ray showers through radio-wave signals as they bounce up or down off the ice. It turns "an entire continent... into a gigantic neutrino telescope." ANITA has twice detected a "fountain" of high-energy particles coming up from the Earth's surface in years past, with the first time occurring in 2016. The rays resemble an "upside-down cosmic-ray shower," says Gorham. "What we saw is something that looked just like a cosmic ray, as seen in reflection off the ice sheet, but it wasn't reflected," he says. "It was as if the cosmic ray had come out of the ice itself. A very strange thing."

So why Antarctica? Well time there apparently moves at glacier levels, and NASA was testing to see how ice travels through space. The indication of natural water (H2O) on another planet may be an indicator of the fact that another planet out there could possibly sustain life. It’s also a place where high energy particles from space could give glimpses of life on another planet. But could life exist on another planet or is it something tangible? There are more questions than answers.

IN THE Antarctic, things happen at a glacial pace. Just ask Peter Gorham. For a month at a time, he and his colleagues would watch a giant balloon carrying a collection of antennas float high above the ice, scanning over a million square kilometres of the frozen landscape for evidence of high-energy particles arriving from space.

When the experiment returned to the ground after its first flight, it had nothing to show for itself, bar the odd flash of background noise. It was the same story after the second flight more than a year later.

While the balloon was in the sky for the third time, the researchers decided to go over the past data again, particularly those signals dismissed as noise. It was lucky they did. Examined more carefully, one signal seemed to be the signature of a high-energy particle. But it wasn’t what they were looking for. Moreover, it seemed impossible. Rather than bearing down from above, this particle was exploding out of the ground.

That strange finding was made in 2016. Since then, all sorts of suggestions rooted in known physics have been put forward to account for the perplexing signal, and all have been ruled out. What’s left is shocking in its implications. Explaining this signal requires the existence of a topsy-turvy universe created in the same big bang as our own and existing in parallel with it. In this mirror world, positive is negative, left is right and time runs backwards.

Maybe that universe exists too. So this research has been going on for the last four years. But have scientists finally been able to make a breakthrough? Could we actually be living in the possibility that parallel universes exist? If so is there a universe out there in which COVID doesn’t exist? Or a universe in which there’s a cure for COVID? Well you may be disappointed for now because that didn’t happen, or did it? The truth is out there!

Bad news first: 2020. Literally all of it. Every second. Every waking moment of 2020. It's grim, I know. Bushfires, pandemic, murder hornets. When will it end?

But the good news: Apparently, scientists have discovered a parallel universe, just like our own. It's a little different to ours though. In this mirror world, time runs backward. It's like a Benjamin Button universe. That means they're heading back to 2019, the good ol' days, right?

Well, now more bad news: I'm here to spoil the parallel universe party. Scientists haven't actually discovered a parallel universe, but you might think they have, based on multiple reports from across the web.

In the last few days a number of publications have suggested scientists "found evidence" for a parallel universe where time runs backward. These mind-bending articles posit that an experiment in Antarctica detected particles that break the laws of physics. All the reports pull from the same source of information: A pay-walled report by New Scientist on April 8 titled "We may have spotted a parallel universe going backwards in time."

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Guess what? We are now considered an essential business! Well, in the eyes of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, thinks so! But guess what? He is the president of the United States, and if he says so then we should all partake no matter what the consequences are, right? Look, we all want to get back to our pre-virus lives. And I can’t think of one person sitting in our virtual pew who doesn’t think that. We all had plans before the Great Pandemic shut them down. And I can’t wait to see you all in the flesh again. But that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want right now is it? No, he would want us to be alive through this so he can see us all in eternity!!!

Gov. Gavin Newsom and California health officials on Monday released guidelines for places of worship to reopen amid the coronavirus pandemic, while “strongly” recommending that churches continue to hold services remotely.

The state in the morning shared a 13-page document that contains rules, regulations and recommendations that places of worship should abide by once they are cleared by their counties’ health departments to resume in-person services.

For at least the first 21 days after each county revises its public health order to allow church activity to resume, the state is requiring that places of worship “limit attendance to 25 percent of building capacity or a maximum of 100 attendees, whichever is lower.” After those three weeks, the state and county public health departments will consult and review the effect of this limit and reassess.

Aside from the occupancy limit and several sanitation rules, the document largely lacks strict requirements and instead includes dozens of strong recommendations for church staff and congregants.

Oh come on what’s the fun of church when you have things like regulations and social distancing to put up with? Yeah sure, the threat of the virus still lingers and as long as it does we are all sitting ducks for this thing. And what will a socially distant church look like? Or will it look like the way GAWD and JAYSUS intended? With a huge crowd and everyone singing and dancing like we’re in the Blues Brothers? I am guessing more the former than the latter.

The rush to reopen churches has become the latest front in the coronavirus culture wars.

President Donald Trump has declared places of worship "essential" during the pandemic and said he'd override governors if they didn't allow in-person services. Analysts have countered he doesn't have the constitutional authority to do that.

But long before Trump ordered churches reopened -- and long after how this battle plays out politically -- some ministers and congregations have and will likely continue to defy state mandates. Because for many of them, the reasons go beyond partisan politics.

For the most part, American mosques and temples have not wrestled with the question of whether to hold services or not.
But for many Christian churches, the issue goes straight to what they view as their constitutional right to free exercise of religion.

If restaurants and shopping malls are allowed to reopen under certain safety protocols, the argument goes, then churches should be too.

I do now see the light oh LAWRD!!! Because now that churches are essential business, that means that I can go take my show back on the road right? But there’s a smart way to open and there’s also a ridiculously dumb way to open. Just look at Minnesota where they can reopen but the question remains – should they reopen? Things will look very different if they do.

Many Minnesota religious leaders remain wary of reopening their doors to congregants amid the coronavirus outbreak, despite a new order from Gov. Tim Walz that allows services to resume under special pandemic precautions.

Walz responded to pressure from the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis and other religious groups Saturday in allowing places of worship to reopen at 25% of normal seating capacity, effective just before midnight Tuesday. Archbishop Bernard Hebda lauded the move as a "breakthrough" that will allow Catholic services to resume Wednesday.

Other religious leaders, and the mayors of both St. Paul and Minneapolis, say the risks in resuming religious services are still great, especially to vulnerable populations.

"It is irresponsible to be inviting people right now to worship within the walls of our congregation's building," the Rev. Timothy Hart-Andersen, senior pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in downtown Minneapolis, wrote in an e-mail.

The 42 rabbis of the Minnesota Rabbinical Association were unanimous in saying they will not yet gather or open their religious facilities for regular activity, because it's safer to keep worshiping at home since "the peak of COVID-19 has yet to come."

Yes, et cetera, et cetera! Look, we all can’t wait to get back to normal life because I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would have intended! I can’t wait to take my show on the road again for you all! But of course leave it to the unholy, ungodly DARK ONE, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, to screw things up. Because boy did he screw this one up badly!

This comes amid pressure to allow in-person religious services from protesters and President Trump, who are demanding that governors take action immediately.

But while some believe not allowing places of worship to reopen is a violation of First Amendment rights, others like Taylor disagree.

“I don’t want to rush back just to say we can rush back. I know a lot of people are saying I have the right to do what I want, I have the right to not wear a mask and you know I have rights to all of these things," he said. "I’m less concerned about my rights and more concerned about being a good neighbor. I don’t want to open up a church or anything just because I have the right. I want it to be healthy for all.”

Taylor attends Our Father's House of Worship in Spring Valley. His Pastor, Joshua Rios, is spreading messages of faith in new ways during the stay-at-home order. Using online platforms, like Facebook and YouTube, Rios is staying connected to his church family during COVID-19.

He wants churches, mosques, and synagogues to reopen so that those who wish to gather can do so.

However, it must be done with health and safety in mind.

I have seen the light too! Of course I am a pastor. But religious and godly people, your religious rights are not being tramped on in this bizarre time we are living. You just don’t need a building to gather in until they are done. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]What’s Up With China: Hong Kong Protests
[br] [/font]

It’s time to ask “What’s Up With China?”. And there’s a lot that’s up. The country that the entire world is pegging responsible for the coronavirus is up to its’ usual old bag of tricks. Folks I don’t need to remind you about the dire straits that the entire world is in right now with no foreseeable end to the pandemic anytime soon. But if you think things are bad here, it’s nothing compared to what is going on in China. Well last year as you know, Hong Kong separatists threatened to secede from mainland China over the rule of their supreme leader Xi Jianping. Well, the coronavirus forced most of China’s Hong Kong protestors back in their homes and underground. So how are the Chinese and in particular Hong Kong getting around these strict new security measures?

The world is now at war with the coronavirus. Nations all around the world have resorted to using digital surveillance to fight the pandemic, but this might require members of society to give up several rights. Is the world ready to embrace this new norm?

States have been trying to increase control over society through information technologies. This development, however, is limited by the legal systems of many nations that require human rights
to be respected. Nevertheless, states often shift balance between rights of people and security in favour of the latter.

This process is developing very slowly and has somewhat changed over the course of the past decade.
The pandemic has led to serious measures by governments to control a sufficiently large group of people or a whole country by using technology. In some places, personal gadgets such as smartphones are used to track movements. For instance, Taiwan is using a mobile phone-based technology that notifies authorities when a person under quarantine has left their residence or has turned off his or her telephone. Similar practices are being used in Hong Kong, South Korea, Singapore, Israel and other countries. Though this technology could be used to fight the virus, at the same time it could be used for political gain or even total surveillance.

Tracking technology may be used to reduce and finally break the chain of infection. It has worked well in two of the initially most-affected nations, China and South Korea.

While we’re watching the horror of the possibility of a police state unfolding in Hong Kong, don’t think for a minute that it can’t happen here. So how is China getting around such extreme measures? By the way of VPNs! The VPN is of course one of the most commonly used hacking tools known to man and it doesn’t take a super genius to be able to figure out how to use one. This could get very ugly very quickly.

VPN downloads in Hong Kong have soared following the news that China will propose a new national security law that will give it even greater control over the city.

NordVPN, Surfshark and ProtonVPN are just a few of the VPN providers whose apps are quickly moving up the charts in the top free apps section in the Google Play Store in Hong Kong.

Unlike in China where residents rely on VPN services to get around the country's Great Firewall, Hong Kong currently maintains an open internet with few restrictions on free speech online. Many foreign social networks and services including Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and more that are blocked in China are legal in Hong Kong, though residents fear they may not be for long.

China's new national security law is expected to pass when the country's parliament holds its annual meeting from May 22 to May 28. Privacy advocates are concerned that the law could lead to increased surveillance and censorship in Hong Kong, hence the rush by residents to download VPNs.

Yeah how do you get answers? And how do you even know what they want? In the quest for absolute power, the only country that is reigning supreme on this is of course our good friends in China. They’re Trump’s very fine people on both sides, don’t you know? Oh wait, wrong rally. But there is some good news is that the Hong Kong protestors vow to keep on protesting because they need all the help they can get right now.

After a months-long break due to the coronavirus pandemic, tear gas returned to the streets of central Hong Kong Sunday, as police clashed with protesters over a proposed national security law.

Sunday's march was the first opportunity many Hong Kongers had to respond to the revelation last week that China's National People's Congress (NPC) -- the country's rubber-stamp parliament -- will bypass Hong Kong's legislature to impose sweeping anti-sedition laws that could drastically undermine civil liberties in the semi-autonomous city.

From the get go, however, it was clear the authorities had no intention of tolerating the protest, which had not received police permission. As crowds gathered in the Causeway Bay shopping district, they were met by an exceptionally large police presence and warnings that any protest would be in violation of both the city's public order laws and coronavirus social distancing measures.

Hong Kong police were roundly criticized over their heavy-handed tactics last year, including most recently by a former member of a government-sponsored panel looking into the protests. On Sunday it was not just the force police used -- tear gas, baton charges, and water cannon against unarmed, mostly peaceful protesters -- but also the speed at which they deployed it. The first round of tear gas was fired within 25 minutes of the proposed start time for the march.

Oh come on people stop rabbling! Hey look the masses are getting restless! But here’s the thing, as I keep saying on this program, we are the human race and we don’t like being told what to do. And how do you police in an increasingly authoritarian state when people want their freedoms? And we also want to be free of this wretched virus. Well, strap in because things are going to get extremely ugly in the next couple of years. I wouldn’t want to be Hong Kong right now!

Taiwan will provide the people of Hong Kong with “necessary assistance”, President Tsai Ing-wen has said, after a resurgence in protests in the Chinese-ruled territory against newly proposed national security legislation from Beijing.

Taiwan has become a refuge for a small but growing number of pro-democracy protesters fleeing Hong Kong, which has been convulsed since last year by protests.

Hong Kong police fired tear gas and water cannon to disperse thousands of people who rallied on Sunday to protest against Beijing’s plan to impose national security laws on the city.

Writing on her Facebook page late on Sunday, Tsai said the proposed legislation was a serious threat to Hong Kong’s freedoms and judicial independence.

Bullets and repression are not the way to deal with the aspirations of Hong Kong’s people for freedom and democracy, she added.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: 5Gs To Freedom
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to the segment where we read people’s minds and attempt to debunk the latest in batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! Just allow me to adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference… OK good! Just got to check outside to make sure there’s no Illuminati owned black helicopters circling overhead. We’re good to go! Hey look people, I don’t know how much clearer I can say this. STOP DESTROYING 5G CELL PHONE TOWERS! They are here for your communication benefits, not to give you coronavirus! Where is this shit coming from? But the thing is if we attempt to trace the origins of the latest batshit crazy theory to emerge from the darkest corners of the internet, it might melt your brain! But that’s where we come in!

About 1 in 5 adults in England believe the coronavirus is to some extent a hoax, according to research on conspiracy theories by the University of Oxford.

In addition, researchers found nearly 3 out of 5 adults in England believe the government is misleading them to some extent about the cause of the virus, and nearly 1 in 10 strongly agree that China developed the coronavirus to destroy the West — which is utterly false.

"A disconcertingly high number of adults in England do not agree with the scientific and governmental consensus on the coronavirus pandemic," the researchers found.

The research was based on surveys of 2,500 adults earlier this month and published in the journal, Psychological Medicine.

Lead researcher and psychology professor Daniel Freeman said the pandemic has the necessary ingredients to fuel conspiracy theories, including sustained threat and enforced change. He added that those who believe conspiracy theories are less likely to follow government guidance designed to save lives.

Yeah so look I get it, we all want answers into why the Coronavirus has grounded society to a halt and turned our lives upside down and inside out. But destruction of property definitely isn’t what we need right now. Especially when it’s something that’s designed to, I don’t know, make our lives easer? But the relentless destruction of 5G cell phone towers isn’t the only side effect of stupid when it comes to coronavirus conspiracy theories. Yeah the virus is here to stay until we find a vaccine, but so is 5G.

In the 1970s, the bogeyman was power lines. Low-frequency electromagnetic fields were emanating from them all the time, and a shocking 1979 study suggested that children who developed cancer lived near power lines “unduly often.” Around the same time, because of Cold War panic about radiation in general, televisions and microwave ovens also became a possible human health catastrophe. Later, concern bubbled up around a slew of other household appliances, including hair dryers and electric blankets.

Now the advance of cellphones and, more recently, the new high-speed networks built to serve them have given rise to a paranoid coalition who believe to varying degrees in a massive cover-up of deleterious harm. The devices are different, but the fears are the same: The radiation from the things we use every single day is destroying us; our modern world is a colossal mistake. The stakes are about as high as they could possibly be: If it were true that our cellphones were causing brain tumors, that our wireless devices were damaging our DNA, and that radiation emanating from cell towers was sickening us in any untold number of ways, this would be the greatest human health disaster the world has ever known. As well as, perhaps, its greatest capitalist conspiracy.

It’s too big to be true. The science is confusing, but the World Health Organization, noting decades of research, has found no significant health risks from low-level electromagnetic fields. Yet amid a broader tech backlash—against screens, against social media, against power consolidating in a handful of companies, against a technology industry that rolls out new products and protocols faster than we can keep up or argue with, against the general fatigue and malaise associated with a life spent typing and scrolling—it’s just big enough to seem, to many, like the obvious explanation for so much being wrong.

A wildly disorienting pandemic coming at the same time as the global rollout of 5G—the newest technology standard for wireless networks—has only made matters worse. “5G launched in CHINA. Nov 1, 2019. People dropped dead,” the singer Keri Hilson wrote in a now-deleted tweet to her 4.2 million followers in March. As the coronavirus spread throughout Europe, fears about 5G appear to have animated a rash of vandalism and arson of mobile infrastructure, including more than 30 incidents in the U.K. in just the first 10 days of April. In the case of one arson attack in the Netherlands, the words “Fuck 5G” were reportedly found scrawled at the scene. Mobile- and broadband-infrastructure workers have also reported harassment and threats from deluded citizens: A recent Wired UK report detailed an instance in which a London network engineer was spit on; he later contracted an illness that was suspected to be the coronavirus.

Ah!!! Of course I should have known that it was Infowars behind this! However, the Coronavirus isn’t the only thing that’s crossed international waters in the last few months. You know what else has? Rampant, unwavering stupidity! You know one of the bigger threats to humanity right now that isn’t the coronavirus? It’s rampant online disinformation and extremist stupidity! Verizon and AT&T had better be having some maximum security around their towers in the next few months because it’s gonna get weird.

What started as a bizarre and bogus conspiracy theory involving the novel coronavirus in Britain has apparently crossed the Atlantic Ocean, U.S. law enforcement officials believe, and they are now increasingly worried about the possibility for real-world violence.

“We assess conspiracy theories linking the spread of COVID-19 to the expansion of the 5G cellular network are inciting attacks against the communications infrastructure globally and that these threats probably will increase as the disease continues to spread, including calls for violence against telecommunications workers,” the U.S. Department of Homeland Security reported Wednesday in an intelligence report obtained by ABC News.

“Violent extremists have drawn from misinformation campaigns online that claim wireless infrastructure is deleterious to human health and helps spread COVID-19, resulting in a global effort by like-minded individuals to share operational guidance and justification for conducting attacks against 5G infrastructure, some of which have already prompted arson and physical attacks against cell towers in several US states,” the report concluded.

The assessment was followed on Thursday by a joint intelligence bulletin issued by the FBI, DHS and the National Counterterrorism Center. Both documents were distributed to senior federal officials and law enforcement agencies around the country.

And by the way let’s examine for a minute that a major pandemic happens about once every 40 – 50 years in our society that changes the way we do things. Coronavirus is just the latest in a long string of 20th and 21st century pandemics including polio, the Spanish Flu, and HIV. And when a pandemic like this hits, you can bet that conspiracy theories are sure to follow! But if we unmask the situation, who’s responsible for this? Is it China? No, it could be Russia! And they would have got away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

As the Covid-19 pandemic swept the globe in early 2020, a conspiracy theory about the disease went viral on social media: The genesis of the illness, proponents claim, was not the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2. Instead, this pandemic was actually caused by the introduction of 5G broadband, and radiation from cell towers equipped with the technology is the real culprit.

It doesn’t take Dr. Fauci to know that conspiracy theories have always been a predictable symptom of pandemics. More than a century ago, the truthers of the day tried to blame a deadly influenza outbreak on a similar technological innovation.

On January 31, 1890, the European edition of the New York Herald ran an item suggesting that the electric light was somehow responsible for a global influenza outbreak. After all, “the disease has raged chiefly in towns where the electric light is in common use,” the article noted, and went on to note that the disease “has everywhere attacked telegraph employees.”

The illness in question was the first modern influenza pandemic, known as the Russian flu or “La Grippe.” The disease likely emerged somewhere in the Russian Empire in 1889 and quickly spread around the world in successive waves. It took only four months to hit every part of the globe, with the United States seeing its peak in January 1890. More than a million people (of the 1.5 billion on earth) were killed worldwide in that first wave.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Varisty Blues Update
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone it’s our last Top 10 of Season 8 and I could really use a drink!


So of course you know by now that the idea behind this segment is that we get drunk and while we get drunk we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And also as of lately, the coronavirus. But since the coronavirus has taken away my set, my bartender, my audience, and my wait staff, we’re forced to sit here and drink alone, which makes this segment way less funny. So tell me virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about college admissions scandals? Oh come on, a 40 ouncer of Mickeys? Ah whatever, I’ll just take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. But we got to talk about this College Admissions thing, otherwise known as Operation Varsity Blues. I don’t want your life!!!

Lori Loughlin and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, both pleaded guilty to conspiracy charges related to their involvement in the “Operation Varsity Blues” college-admissions scandal Friday, May 22. On May 21, the Full House actress agreed to two months in prison, a $150,000 fine, and will have two years of supervised release with 100 hours of community service. Her husband, a fashion designer, will serve five months in prison, pay a $250,000 fine, and face two years of supervised release with 250 hours of community service, ABC News reports via the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the District of Massachusetts. Loughlin and Giannulli entered their guilty pleas, for conspiracy to commit wire fraud and mail fraud and honest-services wire and mail fraud, respectively, over Zoom. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, all sentencing hearings have been delayed for 30 days, landing theirs on August 21, 2020, per Deadline.

The couple is accused of “donating” $500,000 to William Singer, the operation’s central target, in order to get their daughter, influencer Olivia Jade, into USC. Loughlin and Giannulli are the 23rd and 24th suspects to plead guilty in the case, after initially fighting it, and more recently, filing to dismiss the charges. Last year, actress Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest-services mail fraud in order to get her daughter a higher SAT score and served 11 days out of her 14-day sentence, regaining her freedom in October 2019. Now, it’s Aunt Becky’s turn. 2020 really has us asking: What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, beloved TV aunts not going to jail?

Yeah probably! So here’s the thing – only in America could you be uber rich and expect to get only a slap on the wrist when you commit something so heinous. Of course, October 2019 was a much simpler time before the coronavirus came along and destroyed our entire society as we know it. But some good news is that the people behind the insane scandal known as Operation Varsity Blues will get what is coming to them!

The day of reckoning that many speculated would eventually come has finally arrived: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli have agreed to plea guilty for their involvement in the 2019 college admissions scandal known as Operation Varsity Blues.

According to the U.S. Attorney's Office in Massachusetts, the couple that initially plead not guilty—and continued to dodge plea deals while not publicly expressing any remorse—has finally plead guilty to conspiracy charges, which totaled up to 20 years of prison. After pleading guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud, Loughlin received a two-month prison sentence, and after Giannulli plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud and honest services wire and mail fraud, he received a five-month prison sentence. The Full House actress is also receiving a $150,000 fine and 100 hours of community service, while her fashion designer husband will be fined $250,000 and 250 hours of community service. Both will face two years of supervised release after imprisonment.

Last year, they were accused of bribing a coach with $500,000 to get their daughters—beauty vlogger Olivia Jade and Isabella Rose Giannulli—into the University of Southern California. A fake athletic profile and a photo of their daughters posing as medal-winning crew team members was considered to be the smoking gun for their part in the nation-wide college entrance cheating scam.

The Giannullis weren't the only wealthy celebrity parents implemented in the scandal—Felicity Huffman allegedly spent $15,000 to pay someone to pretend to be her daughter so that they could take the SAT for her, and get her into college. After being charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud, Huffman plead guilty and was sentenced to 14 days in jail, a $30,000 fine, a year of supervised release, and 250 hours of community service. She only ended up serving 12 days in jail, and was released early in October 2019.

We’re gonna need a bigger wine glass! Of course I can’t wait to get out of this socially distant void and start drinking in public again. However, if you’re keeping score at home, you know 2020 threw us all into a loop with the coronavirus outbreak, and you might be wondering how can a rich woman like Lori Laughlin serve jail time? Well at least the judges have more common sense than the people behind this scandal do!

Two USC parents in the college admissions case who requested that their prison sentences be converted to home confinement due to concerns over the spread of the coronavirus were denied in court Thursday after the court found they did not meet requirements for the modification.

Douglas Hodge and Michelle Janavs submitted motions last week alleging that their sentences for their roles in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal would pose a threat to their health in light of the increased contagion reported in federal prisons during the coronavirus pandemic. Janavs cited preexisting health conditions that would further increase the severity of her symptoms should she contract the virus. She quoted figures from the Bureau of Prisons showing increasing numbers of coronavirus cases in federal prisons, while Hodge stated that his age, 62 years, elevated his vulnerability to the virus.

In the order filed Thursday, the court acknowledged the defendants’ concerns of endangerment but stated that they had not yet exhausted all other means of modifying their sentences. Hodge and Janavs would not meet conditions for consideration of a sentence reduction regardless, the government argued in an opposition entered Tuesday, citing Janavs’ presentence physicals indicating good physical health and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines about at-risk populations.

“Their motions should be denied for the separate reason that they cannot establish ‘extraordinary and compelling circumstances’ that would justify reduced sentences,” the opposition read. “BOP has instituted substantial policies and procedures to manage the pandemic and prevent the spread of infection.”

So let that be a lesson to all you would-be scammers out there! Coronavirus does not exempt you from having to serve real jail! And come on, actresses and heiresses to the Hot Pocket fortune don’t get special treatment! Hey you know what would be really good with this drinking right now? Some Hot Pockets!

Hot Pockets heiress Michelle Janavs, ensnared in the sweeping college-admissions scandal, had her prison sentence — set to begin next week — delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak.

Janavs, sentenced to five months behind bars for paying a fixer to get her daughters into the University of Southern California, had been ordered to surrender on Thursday but now may remain free until at least June 30, according to U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton.

But the judge ruled against Janavs' bid to have her entire sentence served under house arrest.

"The COVID-19 pandemic is an unprecedented and continually evolving cause of concern and the Court is cognizant of the particular transmission risk in penitentiary facilities," Gorton wrote in a ruling handed down Thursday.

However, "this judge will not forfeit his obligation to impose a sentence that is warranted by a defendant's criminal conduct.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 4: The Finals
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to the Stupidest State Championship! Yes, we managed to wade through the 2020 Stupidest State Season through the worst pandemic in an entire century! Next year we hope to bring you Stupidest State in our typical grand fashion. But it’s not about us. It’s about the States. Now let’s focus on the states that made it here. Last week, Michigan stopped underdog Idaho’s epic run to secure their first Flyover League title in franchise history. Over in the Layover League, Florida shocked the pundits and routed last year’s champion Alabama to advance to their second NFFSA title fight! We’re at the brand new Banc Of California Stadium for the action!

[font size="4"]Stupidest State: The Finals: Michigan Vs Florida[/font]

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So last week Michigan managed to stop Idaho’s epic run in their tracks. The only thing standing in their way is Florida. While the rest of the world stares in sheer horror at the lockdown protests going on in Michigan, what is it looking like as the state is slowly reopening? Here’s the thing. Michigan says that if people behave, the state will reopen. But the other thing is that people aren’t behaving, in any way, shape or form. What’s it going to look like when the state reopens? Well it is going to look much differently than it is right now.

TRAVERSE CITY, MI – A little boy with a mask around his neck scurried toward a storefront Friday afternoon in downtown Traverse City.

"Mask!" his mother yelled, from behind.

He paused. He raised the black mask over his face. And then ran into the store.

Up the street, a woman walked into the Cherry Republic store to an unfamiliar sight.

Instead of the smattering of cherry-themed free samples, ice cream cones and wine tasting, customers were greeted with a table of hand sanitizer, gloves and an employee making sure people wore masks.

The woman stepped back and took a photo. She wanted to chronicle this piece of "the year we'd like to all forget," she told the employee.

Of course that’s a perfect world but we are the human race, and we don’t like being told what to do even if a highly contagious virus is spreading across the entire planet and ravaging everything that it comes across! Let’s pull back the curtains and find out what life is really like in some of these parts that aren’t exactly playing to the rules.

At 12:01 a.m. Friday, bars and restaurants in parts of northern Michigan were allowed to welcome guests inside for the first time in more than two months.

By 12:15, some 20 customers were already drinking at the Kal-Ho Lounge, a longtime shot-and-beer bar in the village of Kalkaska.

"Normally for Memorial Day, it's a slow weekend for us," said Kal-Ho owner Rob Schwartz, who has run the century-old bar since 2004 with his girlfriend, Kathy Sanborn, and eight employees. Before COVID-19 hit, the Kal-Ho was open 365 days a year.

"We've gotten a lot of calls," Sanborn said. "Even people as far as Indiana asking if we're going to be open (this weekend)."

Yeah so people are naturally saying “fuck it” to the COVID stay at home orders and doing their own thing, but it’s obviously having an effect on the governor. Wanna make it another month guys? Keep showing up at the Capitol armed with machine guns and making threats outloud. That kind of thing is going to get you nowhere!

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer has extended Michigan’s stay-at-home order until June 12 and the state of emergency until June 19.

The stay-at-home order continues the closure of public places such as theaters, gyms and casinos to limit the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19). Both executive orders were previously set to expire after May 28.

The Michigan Court of Claims ruled Thursday that Whitmer has the authority to keep the state under a state of emergency without legislative approval. Republican legislators sued Whitmer after she extended the state of emergency and stay-at-home orders without their approval.

Friday’s announcement comes on the day when restaurants, bars and retail are allowed to reopen at 50% capacity in the Upper Peninsula and northern Lower Peninsula.

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Last year, Florida got trounced by Alabama in the second round early. This year they’re back and seeking revenge! How is Florida dealing with all the madness? Well of course they’re dealing with it in the most Florida way possible. Here’s the thing – as I said humans, especially Americans, don’t like being told what to do. And we’re certainly not going to let something like COVID get in the way of us having fun, even in America’s most penis shaped state.

Joe Cirulli has spent thousands of dollars in enhanced cleaning and sanitation practices for his chain of Florida gyms.

Cirulli, the founder of Gainesville Health and Fitness, said he’s spent the last two and a half months since his business closed due to the coronavirus outbreak researching and preparing to meet, and go beyond, rigorous health standards implemented by the state when it lifted its statewide gym closure on Monday, he said.

He ordered gallons of electrostatic cleaning supply to spray workout equipment daily, enough hand sanitizer and wipes to place throughout the entire gym and installed ultraviolet lighting in the air-conditioning systems to filter out additional bacteria, although health experts say UV lighting should not be used on people’s skin.

“We ordered everything, everything,” Cirulli said. “I don’t know how much more we can do, especially when the guy working on the air conditioning system told me if we do one more thing, we’ll be able to do surgery inside our clubs.”

Yeah and Florida Man has been showing his true colors lately! I could go on and on about his achievements – both good and bad. Restrictions and social distancing be damned, people need to get their beach fix on! Sure everyone wants to get outside and see people and this virus has put a temporary stop to that. So who cares? Beach, yo!!!

Hundreds of people gathered at a popular Florida beach boardwalk and were seen partying and dancing despite social distancing restrictions imposed by the state to combat the coronavirus pandemic, authorities said Sunday.

Police responded, attempting to disperse the crowds along a beachside road in Daytona Beach that were there for an annual gathering that was not authorized by the local government this year.

Some fights broke out during the afternoon and police said a shooting also was reported outside a nearby convenience store, with two people taken to the hospital with gunshot wounds and four injured by shrapnel. Officers were not involved in the shooting.

“We got slammed. Disney is closed, Universal is closed. Everything is closed so where did everybody come with the first warm day with 50% opening? Everybody came to the beach,” Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said at a Sunday news conference.

Overcrowded beaches and a shooting! Of course if you can’t go to Disneyworld then the beach is obviously your next option in Northern Florida. But in case you’re wondering if Florida can’t get any dumber than they already are, here’s how stunningly stupid Florida is. Northern Florida invaded Southern Florida as part of a ridiculously stupid plan. I mean… just…. Ah!!!!!! Guess we’re going right back to where we started!

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Massive crowds involving people from around the state converged on Daytona Beach on Saturday as part of what authorities think was a Memorial Day social media event that led to bridge closures and a lockdown.

The event, called "Orlando Invades Daytona," drew thousands to "the world's most famous beach," people spilled into the streets, making their way into the middle of State Road A1A and forcing the closure of the Ocean Walk area and some eastbound bridges.

"We were invaded by Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville, and Orlando,” Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said.

Helicopter video from the Volusia County Sheriff's Office showed a person waving money. Chitwood thinks the person was making a music video.

Officers described people climbing on cars, others throwing cash as massive crowds shut down some heavily-trafficked routes.

When asked to disperse, police said crowds were compliant.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! Florida is our 2020 Stupidest State! With a final score of 18, Florida sinks Michigan to advance to their second title! Final score – 108 – 90! Michigan, you put up a great run but you are no match for the almighty Florida! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Trophy Presentation & Statement From The Commissioner:[/font]

Congratulations to Florida! They are the winners of this year’s 2020 NFFSA Stupidest State finals! I know this year the virus turned our world completely upside down and we almost weren’t able to hold this contest this year. But we did it, and we will be back next year in hopefully the grand fashion that you’ve come to expect from the NFFSA! Florida you have earned this one and you are a shining example of conservative idiocy! Now let’s sing that song we all know and love!

[font size="4"]Locker Room Celebration:[/font]

[font size="4"]And now this: :[/font]
[font size="4"]King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard:[/font]

Folks, since we can’t have a live band to close out this season, we instead are going to have the next best thing! And now performing an excerpt from their brand new live album “Chunky Shranel”, give it up for King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard!

Season 8 is done everybody! We made it through the first part of the Coronavirus pandemic and I want to thank my staff, my crew, the fans for everything! We wouldn’t have made it 8 seasons and nearly 5 years without you! Season 9 starts June 17th with hopefully a limited run at our new home in Burbank and we will be documenting Joe Biden’s road to victory! See you in two weeks!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Greta Van Fleet Appear Courtesy Of: Republic Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 27, 2020, 05:00 PM (2 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Dont Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Editi

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Don’t Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So how you guys holding up at home? You doing good? Ah this fucking sucks, I can’t wait to go back out and do some live Top 10s again. But we’re here and not going crazy at the moment. This is our next to last edition of Season 8. We will be back for a Season 9 and a season 10. Not sure what is going to happen beyond that though. We’ve been covering nearly almost all of the Trump administration, which is insane. So last week, we lost the great Jerry Stiller who of course played George’s father Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. This week, we lost the late, great Fred Willard. Who has been in just a ton of great movies, like Best In Show, or This Is Spinal Tap, or Anchorman, or Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. OK maybe the last one wasn’t so great, it was funny sure, but in the back end of Fred Willard’s catalogue there’s definitely some much better movies of his that you can watch. And he was a dude who could not only make people laugh, but he was My personal favorite is him in Anchorman where he is on the phone to his son’s principal’s office and says “Why I don’t know where he could have got a hold of German pornography.”. Ah that was a classic. Also Spinal Tap, you can’t forget the greatness of that film. Do I know where I am going with this? You bet your ass I don’t. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and explains how the Coronavirus is affecting the sports industry.

Man the GOP are really proving to be completely full of shit aren’t they? Not to mention stupid, classless and arrogant. So in the number one slot this week goes to Donald Trump (1). He’s apparently grown bored with Coronavirus and is shifting focus to his next wacky adventure – Space Force and locking up Obama, because, reasons. In the third slot this week is Wisconsin Republicans (2) and they clearly don’t give a shit about 87,000 Americans dying from Coronavirus and voted to fully open the state anyways. In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump and we’re going to talk about the alarming testimony from whistleblower Dr. Bright that took over the House and well, we’re seriously fucked. Taking the fourth slot this week is yet another guy who clearly doesn’t give a shit, and that’s Elon Musk (4), and we will talk about his quest to reopen the Tesla manufacturing facility in Fremont and his war with California. He crazy. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates. And this week, how is Coronavirus affecting the animal population? Well animals trapped in zoos are having a hard time getting the food they need, and China’s got a huge bamboo problem affecting the worldwide panda population. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and is the Coronavirus the key to unleashing the next generation of the mark of the beast? Our resident pastor is going to go over one of the crazier conspiracy theories to come out of the Christian right. In slot #7, after giving what many are calling the worst high school graduation speech of all time, we add Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Taking the 8th slot this week is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and we’re going to check out a new video promoting some ridiculous theories about coronavirus vaccines that, well, for lack of a better word, went viral. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have an all new “I Need A Drink”. And do we really need a spinoff of Jeremy Piven’s hot-headed super agent character Ari Gold from Entourage? I need a few drinks for this one. And finally it’s time for the Stupidest State Final Four! Idaho. Michigan. Florida. Alabama. Two of these teams will advance, one wins it all! Plus we’ve got some new music from a favorite band of mine, AWOLNATION! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

You know that old saying about how the cure is worse than the disease right? Well, Donald Trump, the guy who we are currently calling “president of the United States” has officially lost it. And with the coronavirus still ravaging society and wreaking havoc on our day to day lives, would you really trust the guy who tells us to drink bleach and stares at the sun during an eclipse? I mean shit this reeks of Papa John’s infamous 40 pizzas in 30 days interview (see Top 10 #7-21 ). But when you’ve got a president who simply doesn’t give a flying fuck about things like health or science, would you trust him with a cure for this thing?

President Donald Trump said Monday that he has been taking anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine daily for over a week to prevent coronavirus infection even though it is not yet a proven treatment.

“I happen to be taking it,” Trump said during a roundtable event at the White House. “A lot of good things have come out. You’d be surprised at how many people are taking it, especially the front-line workers. Before you catch it. The front-line workers, many, many are taking it.”

He added: “I’m taking it, hydroxychloroquine. Right now, yeah. Couple of weeks ago, I started taking it. Cause I think it’s good, I’ve heard a lot of good stories.”

Trump also said that he is taking zinc, and that he has taken an initial dose of azithromycin, or Z-Pak.

White House physician Dr. Sean Conley released a memo Monday evening, which said that after discussing evidence for and against hydroxychloroquine with Trump, they concluded “the potential benefit from treatment outweighed the relative risks.”

That is a good question sir! What is wrong with him? Does this mean that he’s got the virus and requires treatment? It’s no secret that COVID is probably crawling all over the White House with two Pence staffers testing positive. But at least even Pence, for all his flaws, has more sense than our president does, and that’s saying something. And then Nancy Pelosi had to weigh in on the subject, and well, it was a thing of beauty!

In response to the shocking news that President Donald Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to ward off the coronavirus, CNN's Anderson Cooper asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi what she made of that decision.

Here's what she said:

"As far as the President is concerned, he's our President and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group -- morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it's not a good idea."

Which raises an interesting question: Is Trump actually morbidly obese? (Twitter was taken by that question Tuesday morning, with both #PresidentPlump and #TrumpMorbidlyObese" trending.)

Let's start here: The CDC doesn't actually use the term "morbidly obese" at all.
Generally speaking, it defines obesity as having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. (BMI is calculated by taking "a person's weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters," according to the CDC website.) Within "obese," the CDC has three distinctions: 1) Those with a BMI between 30 and 35 2) those with a BMI between 35 and 40 and 3)those with a BMI over 40, which the CDC categorizes as having "extreme" or "severe" obesity.

Yeah let it all hang out there! By the way if you want to see where your state’s governor ranks on how they’ve been handling this seemingly never-ending crisis, then one thing is for certain – 49 of the 50 governors all have better approval ratings than Trump did. Oh and in case you’re wondering where this is leading, Trump is already bored with Coronavirus and has moved onto his next wacky adventure – conquering space with his shiny new toy, er branch of the military – Space Force!

The U.S. Space Force — the newest branch of the armed services — now has its own flag.

Defense Department officials presented President Donald Trump with the Space Force flag during a short Oval Office event on Friday. The dark blue and white flag includes elements intended to evoke the vast recesses of outer space.

The Space Force, which was officially established in December, is the first new military service since the U.S. Air Force was established in 1947. The 16,000 airmen and civilians that make up the Space Force technically remain part of the Air Force, which previously oversaw offensive operations in space. But Trump has made clear he sees the newest service as critical to the future of American defense.

The president said during Friday's ceremony that the U.S. is building a “super-duper missile” that can travel “17 times faster than what we have right now.”

Yes, Trump wants to conquer space! And he might as well hire Elon Musk to help him get to Mars while we are at it. You know before we go conquering strange new worlds, why don’t we, I don’t know, solve the problems here on this world first? We’ve got a crippling virus that’s destroying the lives of everyone on the planet and an economy that’s been exposed for the fraud it is. Oh and I don’t need to tell you that he’s also got a super duper missile too! Why not I don’t know, fix that? Oh well, onto the next wacky adventure! It was spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack writer! Here we go again!

President Donald Trump on Friday boasted that the US military is developing a new "super duper" missile that he claimed can travel 17-times faster than anything in the current arsenal, a claim the Pentagon was unwilling to confirm.

"We are building, right now, incredible military equipment at a level that nobody has ever seen before. We have no choice. We have to do it -- with the adversaries we have out there. We have a -- I call it the 'super-duper missile.' And I heard the other night, 17 times faster than what they have right now," Trump said at a White House event to sign the 2020 Armed Forces Day Proclamation.

Trump was speaking alongside some of the country's top military leadership, including Defense Secretary Mark Esper and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.

"You take the fastest missile we have right now -- you've heard Russia has five times, and China is working on five or six times. We have one 17 times. And it's just gotten the go-ahead," Trump added.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]The State Of Wisconsin
[br] [/font]

Sometimes you don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Because you’ll leave with more than what you came. You don’t want to be where you can get a disease, because then you will be the one to blame. You don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Thank you virtual audience! Let’s do some fact checking here. Fact #1 – COVID will be with us for the next 18 months at a minimum and if we’re lucky. Fact #2 – social distancing will continue until at least 2022 assuming that there’s no vaccine found. Fact #3 – no way in hell will our economy last that long. Put all 3 facts together and this is a powder keg waiting to explode. Never mind that the parade of idiots and MAGAs keep spreading the virus to rural areas that had previously not contracted it. So how do you reopen the economy? Do you wade in the shallow end like California and Oregon are doing? Or do you dive in the deep end like Florida and Georgia are doing? Well, Wisconsin is going a slightly different path.

A feeling of so-called “normalcy” returned to the banks of the St. Croix River on Thursday, as people in Hudson packed the sidewalks and crowded restaurant patios for the first time in two months.

These activities finally became legal in the state of Wisconsin, after the conservative-led State Supreme Court deemed the Democratic governor’s “Safer at Home” order unconstitutional. In the absence of a statewide policy, the 72 local counties in Wisconsin – and the cities and towns within them – must now scramble to make their own rules as they see fit. In Hudson, the city and St. Croix County are still in discussions about those policies, according to county and city officials.

The elimination of statewide restrictions has led to a mix of celebration, confusion, and concern, depending on who you meet.

“It almost feels like we’re waking up from a dream,” teenagers Adrianna and Kenzie said after driving across the river from Minnesota to pick up food in downtown Hudson. “It’s cool to see everyone back. It’s… relieving.”

Oh we’re not doomed just yet. Ah fuck it, who am I kidding? Of course we’re doomed. We let our guard down in 1918 and what happened? The dreaded “second wave”. But let’s take a look at what happened in the bars in Wisconsin after things reopened as if the pandemic never happened or is happening. Holy shit are we doomed! Let’s cue my botched version of the Cheers theme again!

Bars in Wisconsin are open and busy.

The Palace in Superior has been open since Thursday night.

Anthony Erhardt is a bartender at The Palace and said it has been busy since Thursday.

While the bar offers masks and sanitation wipes, he noted very few customers have been going into the bar wearing protective equipment.

Erhardt said that people are traveling from all over to get a drink.

"75% of our business was people from Minnesota. A lot of people from the Twin Cities also and up the North Shore," Erhardt said.

Hey look I’m a drinker. I want to get my drink on again. I want to go to my favorite brew pub and sink a few pints. But as long as this virus is a threat I’ll get my beer to go and drink at home. Right now the society we’re in isn’t Cheers, and you’re not Norm Peterson. And we’re not done with this thing yet, we’re not done by a long shot. If you want to go out, be sure you are made aware of the risks, like diving in the shallow end. It’s not recommended, so don’t do it.

Businesses did attempt to keep customers and workers safe. Indoors, attendance capacities were limited. People were asked to keep their distance and limit trips to the bathroom.

But after two months of banned public gatherings and shuttered businesses, it was striking to see such normality days after the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down Gov. Tony Evers’ safer-at-home order.

And it wasn’t just Wisconsinites taking advantage of it. As is typical in Lake Geneva, the town on Saturday was filled with cars bearing license plates from Illinois, a state that is still subject to a stay-at-home order from its governor.

“Illinois is closed and we’ve been wanting to get out,” said Castano Penn, a Chicagoan who works at a senior living center and was not wearing a mask Saturday. “I know it’s probably bad. I’m just kind of done with it all.”

It was a sentiment shared by others as well. About a half-dozen other people interviewed by the Journal Sentinel said they grew tired of isolating in their homes and felt they deserved the freedom to choose what’s safe and what isn’t.

Well yes, good point, Norm. Because there’s still things you can and can’t do. Sure you could go to a bar and pound brews with your buddies, but would you risk a DUI? Or would you risk getting into an Uber afterward? There’s plenty of chances you can take and right now none of them are particularly good, so really until we know what this virus is doing, stay home and shut up.

Does the Supreme Court decision mean all businesses will reopen in Wisconsin?

No. Business owners may decide to remain closed, or reopen at their own pace and with their own restrictions. They may also be subject to local restrictions aimed at controlling the spread of the coronavirus that were unaffected by the Supreme Court decision about the statewide restrictions.

Some businesses may have lost their staff during the shutdown period and need to rehire before opening, or may have closed permanently.

Can a business owner make me keep a distance from others, or wash my hands, or wear a mask to get services or purchase products?

Yes. Private business owners can operate how they wish, short of illegal discrimination or safety violations. Remember "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs? A more current example is the ban many businesses impose on weapons, even though the state allows properly licensed people to carry concealed guns in public generally.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Dr. Bright Testimony
[br] [/font]

We’re fucked. No wait, yeah, we’re fucked. Nice knowing you, humanity. We had a good run, but it’s time to start packing it in. Do I know where I am going with this? Well last week, we saw the alarming and damning testimony from COVID whistleblower and former Trump admin employee, Dr. Bright and COVID whistleblower and soon to be ex Trump admin employee Dr. Fauci. The Trump administration is determined to reopen the economy if it means killing a whole lot of us, and this thing isn’t going away any time soon. But as far as the long haul fear mongering let’s keep in mind the average length of a pandemic is really about 12 months or so. But it’s going to be a hell of a long time before things get back to normal.

Dr. Rick Bright is the highest-ranking government scientist to charge the federal government's response to the coronavirus pandemic has been slow and chaotic. He says it has prioritized politics over science, and has cost people their lives.

It has cost Dr. Bright his job. In April, he was removed from a top position in the Department of Health and Human Services, and transferred to what he considers a position of less stature and responsibility. Dr. Bright has filed a whistleblower complaint running over 300 pages.

President Trump has called Rick bright a disgruntled employee. In congressional testimony on Thursday, Bright claimed the government retaliated against him for telling the truth about the depth of the crisis.

Bright at congressional hearing: Our window of opportunity is closing. If we fail to improve our response now based on science, I fear the pandemic will get worse and be prolonged.

Until a month ago, Dr. Rick Bright led BARDA, the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, a federal agency to which Congress has handed more than $5 billion to fund vaccine development, new antiviral drugs, and badly-needed medical supplies.

Yes, we’re doomed. Only in this administration do you get fired for speaking the truth. Because that’s just how Trump rolls. So we’re basically left with two choices – we reopen and we’re completely miserable because of all the restrictions that COVID has placed on our society and risk the possibility of certain death, or we stay at home and go crazy from boredom.

An ousted top Health and Human Services official testified Thursday before Congress that the Trump administration's timeline for a coronavirus vaccine is likely too optimistic — and that there's "no plan" to mass produce and distribute one.

Hopes for a vaccine to be ready in 12 to 18 months assume that "everything goes perfectly," the official, Dr. Rick Bright, told the House Energy and Commerce subcommittee on health, adding, "We've never seen everything go perfectly."

Bright also said he had warned the administration about shortages of personal protective equipment, and he faulted President Donald Trump and senior officials for having minimized the outbreak early on — with, he said, deadly consequences.

"I believe Americans need to be told the truth," Bright said. "We did not forewarn people. We did not train people. We did not educate them on social distancing and wearing a mask as we should have in January and February. All those forewarnings, all those educational opportunities, for the American public could have had an impact in further slowing this outbreak and saving more lives."

Well come on man this is the Trump administration. Anyone less than someone who isn’t 100% loyal to Trump is considered disgruntled. But the more Trump keeps tanking this thing and the more people start dying, this could be a bad sign. Even more so as the idiots keep showing up at those anti-lockdown protests. Yeah this pandemic couldn’t suck more. Everyone wants to get back to their lives free from the restrictions. But do something stupid and it could open up Pandora’s box.

The Trump administration official set to testify before Congress Thursday oversaw the production and purchase of vaccines before being abruptly dismissed last month amid a clash with the administration on coronavirus treatments.

Dr. Rick Bright is an international expert on vaccines with a lengthy work history in the field. His expected testimony comes after he filed a whistleblower complaint last week alleging he was removed from his post in retaliation for opposing the broad use of hydroxychloroquine, a drug frequently touted by President Donald Trump as a treatment for Covid-19.

Bright had led the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, part of a Department of Health and Human Services office that has been central to the response to the coronavirus outbreak, since 2016.

As BARDA's director, Bright oversaw "the advanced development and procurement of medical countermeasures against an array of threats to national security and the public's health, including chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear threats and pandemic influenza, and emerging infectious diseases," according to an archived webpage of his official biography.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Elon Musk
[br] [/font]

What is it with people losing their minds and going full MAGA? First Kanye went and became a full blown sleazy televangelist and now it appears that Elon Musk is following in his footsteps. I mean what is it? you reach a certain age and you don’t have to worry about money and then somehow you just lose your shit? Last week Elon shocked the world when he named his newborn son X AE A-12. But now Tesla is turning the tables on the state in which it was founded – California. Yes, my home state and the favorite punching bag of conservatives everywhere. But Elon is taking things to the next level against not only the state but the coronavirus lockdowns that have crippled the economy.

Musk continued tweeting, appealing to followers to protest to their local government officials over the issue and comparing the Alameda County lockdown to other nearby counties which he stated had been suffering ‘no ill effects’ from continued industrial operation.

Local government in Alameda does not consider Tesla manufacture to be an ‘essential business’ and has therefore been ordered to be closed until the end of May at the earliest, following an original lockdown beginning on 23 March.

While lots of carmakers globally are beginning to start production again, with the likes of VW, Ford and Porsche all reawakening productions lines, Tesla remains dormant. It’s the only carmaker based in California, with CEO Musk repeatedly voicing frustration in recent weeks at what he sees as over-zealous, unconstitutional measures against personal liberties in the US.

So far, more than 80,000 people are known to have died from COVID-19 in the United States, with more than 1.3 million known cases recorded. Both figures are the highest tolls for a single county in the world.

Earlier in May Tesla shares saw $14billion wiped off their value after Musk tweeted that he thought Tesla’s stock price was too high. In, erm, mildly better news, the Tesla Model 3 was the UK’s best-selling car in April, while the market as a whole contracted by 97 per cent.

Yeah pretty much. But then Elon not only did that, he decided to go rogue. You know – going rogue is the favorite plot of just about every spy movie in existence. And look, Elon, we get it, we all want to go back to our jobs and daily routines that we had before the pandemic, but considering the pandemic might not be over at least this year we are going to have to make some sacrifices. And this is coming from a guy who can lose $14 BILLION in a single tweet. Yes, billion.

Tesla Inc. told employees that a California county health official has now signed off on safety measures the company took last week at its car plant as it restarted production in defiance of the area’s shutdown order.

The Alameda County health officer’s approval means Tesla has local support to resume full production starting this week, Laurie Shelby, the company’s environmental, health, and safety vice president, wrote in an email to staff Saturday that was viewed by Bloomberg News. Representatives for Tesla and the county didn’t respond to queries outside regular business hours.

The county’s authorization could resolve a highly contentious episode in which Elon Musk threatened to move Tesla’s headquarters and future programs out of California and sued the county over its health officer’s resistance to reopening the factory in Fremont. It’s unclear whether the chief executive officer will now follow through on his warnings, which also included shifting the company’s manufacturing out of the state.

When Tesla was resisting calls to idle the factory in March, Fremont officials sought clarification from Alameda County as to whether the company was an essential business. Erica Pan, the county’s health officer, considered the plant to be a public health risk, according to documents obtained through a California public-records request.

Of course! Even in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century do we set aside the almighty dollar for life itself! Well I got news for you Elon, no matter how much money you may have, you can’t take it with you when you’re lying in a box in a ditch! But this is quite the wild ride here – it’s Mr. Elon’s Wild Ride (thank you to our graphics department for that one). But really on our list of priorities right now, new cars should be like last on the list. Let alone niche cars that most people can’t afford even if they could.

Electric carmaker Tesla (TSLA) - Get Report reportedly has asked dozens of workers at its car plant in Fremont, California, to return to work as soon as this Wednesday despite stay-at-home orders that remain in place for some 40 million Californians amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Internal messages viewed by Bloomberg indicate that Tesla is asking some of its workers - mostly those responsible for paint and stamping operations - to return to work as early as April 29, six days ahead of the tentative May 3 date currently being considered by state officials as a date to begin cautiously allowing businesses to reopen.

The potential battle come as states weigh the health and safety vs. economic benefits of reopening for business some seven weeks after the coronavirus pandemic brought the U.S. economy to an unprecedented standstill. Several states including Georgia, South Carolina, Arkansas and Wyoming began lifting restrictions on some businesses this past weekend.

Tesla last month gained headlines after defying stay-at-home orders and keeping its carmaking factory up and running, leading to a run-in with the local Alameda County sheriff’s office. Tesla argued it was an essential service and should remain open; the sheriff’s department argued otherwise. Tesla closed the site on March 29.

Oh and here’s where it gets weird, because you knew that it was coming. I mean come on, would you expect the guy who named his kid a series of nonsensical symbols to not have something weird associated with him? Well, he’s gone full Red Pill Truther, which of course means that his political beliefs are well off the deep end. And I love that one of the co-creators of the Matrix wasn’t having any of it.

A strange tweet by Tesla Inc. (NASDAQ: TSLA) CEO Elon Musk, has given rise to speculation that he may be veering to the right of the political spectrum.

What Happened

Musk, who is known to be a prolific user of Twitter, took to the platform on Sunday to declare, “Take the red pill.”

The red pill may be a reference to the 1999 movie “The Matrix,” in which the protagonist, Neo, is faced with the choice of taking either a red or a blue pill.
However, the red pill may also be Musk’s way of indicating his willingness to adopt right-wing political ideology, according to Business Insider. Musk is a self-described “moderate.”

Replying to Musk’s tweet, Ivanka Trump exclaimed, “Taken!”

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: China’s Bamboo Problem
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

How is the COVID-19 crisis hitting the worldwide animal population? While animals have a very rare possibility of contracting the deadly affliction themselves, it’s disrupted the global supply chain to the point where certain considerations have to be made for the greater good of the species. And this all happened in ways that could never happen in a million years, but have because of the COVID-19 crisis that is currently ravaging the planet. Because if you go through the supply chain food would have to make it from one side of the globe to the other, and if that chain is interrupted, then it would be impossible for that species to have a steady food supply. Let’s take the panda for instance and how this is being affected.

The Calgary Zoo will be returning two giant pandas on loan from China because a scarcity of flights due to COVID-19 has caused problems with getting enough bamboo to feed them.

Er Shun and Da Mao arrived in Calgary in 2018 after spending five years at the Toronto Zoo and were to remain in the Alberta city until 2023.

The zoo’s president, Clement Lanthier, said this week the facility spent months trying to overcome transportation barriers in acquiring fresh bamboo and decided it’s best for the animals to be in China, where their main food source is abundant.

“It’s about the animals. At the end of the day, we cannot pretend that we care for animals if we don’t take those tough decisions,″ Lanthier said. “We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access.″

And there will be a lot more sad pandas if this keeps up. Because this thing has the potential to be a huge problem, and not just in China’s panda community. But as the world’s meat supplies are being upended and people are turning to relative measures to eat food and stay alive. One such tree population that is being ravaged is the very plant those pandas need to survive – bamboo.

The sound is deafening as metal strikes metal, battering my eardrums. Wood chips whizz past my head and the temperature seems to be rising in this small and dusty workshop. Amid the haze of sawdust, which seems to be enveloping everyone in the room, a team of workers stands over a series of archaic machines.

"Business is getting better and better each year," explains Kuai Liangyou, taking a moment of temporary silence as an opportunity to talk. "We get through nearly 800 bamboo trees a day. That's about 20 tons. The demand is very big. In the peak season, we cannot meet the demand."

Kuai is the manager of a relatively small but highly productive bamboo factory in Changning County, in southern Sichuan. This basic but efficient production line churns out a constant stream of refined bamboo, either being made into furniture or being split into new sets of disposable chopsticks. The factory is one of hundreds in the region that are trying to satisfy the appetite of the Chinese market for this new in-demand resource.

"Sichuan is one of the most densely populated regions in the country," explains Li Yanxia, Sichuan program officer for the International Network for Bamboo and Rattan (INBAR). "The rapid growth in demand for bamboo resources over the last two decades has caused excessive exploitation of forest resources in the province. This has resulted in serious disturbance and destruction of the biodiversity of ecosystems in natural bamboo forests."

But if we want to figure out how to save our pandas during the duration of this pandemic, look to Scotland, where the panda is the star attraction at the Edinburgh Zoo. But is it enough? And how long will this pandemic last? Those are two unknown variables. If the pandemic lasts longer than 18 months than it is a possibility that stockpile could run low. But if it doesn’t then it’s possible that the pandas could be saved without relocating them to China.

Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang munch through up to 40lb of bamboo per day in their enclosures at Edinburgh Zoo.Concerns for the iconic animals were raised after it emerged that Canada's Calgary Zoo plans to return its own pair to China because of problems getting enough bamboo to feed them, caused by a scarcity of flights because of Covid-19.

Edinburgh Zoo bosses say that while they are still asking the public for donations to help meet their £55,000 per month animal food bill while they have no visitor income, they have no concerns about bamboo supply. They added that, as a result, they are not considering sending their star attractions back to China.Jo Elliot, animal collection manager at Edinburgh Zoo, said: "We have made sure that our stores are topped up and ready, which means that we have a bit of resilience there if we do have any supply chain issues.

"Many of the animals have specialist diets - obviously the pandas, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, need their bamboo. Most of it gets shipped in from the Netherlands, and at the moment that is fine, we are still getting deliveries."Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang arrived at Edinburgh Zoo in 2011 on a ten year loan from China, for which the Scottish Government pays around £600,000 per year.It was hoped Tian Tian, whose name translates as "Sweetie", would produce an historic cub in Scotland but efforts have so far failed.

But that said why is Calgary not getting the supply they need if they have pandas on loan? Well the Coronavirus has turned life upside down in ways that were completely unimaginable even going back as far as last December. And unknown variables and plenty of ways for this to go wrong could not only upend the worldwide panda population, but could have an adverse effect on zoology as we know it.

Two giant pandas in Canada will be heading back to China because their main meal, fresh bamboo, was getting too difficult to find during the pandemic, officials at Calgary Zoo in Canada said.

The bamboo for Er Shun and Da Mao was flown directly from China and then, when the pandemic reduced flights, on transfers from Toronto, the zoo said Tuesday. But even those flights have been reduced, making the adult bears' favored food supply shaky.

Shipments have gone to the wrong place, delivery times have been longer and the pair just won't eat some of the bamboo, zoo officials said.

"We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access," Calgary Zoo President and CEO Clément Lanthier said in a statement.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]
[br] B

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know while we sit and wait to see how these uncertain times play out, there’s people on the other side who think that this might be the end of the world. And right now, it might literally be the end of the world as long as the great pandemic is going on. Even the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with that. But is it bringing about some unwanted side effects? Because my brothers and sisters on the right think that there’s going to be an after mark of the dreaded virus that’s been ravaging the economy and ruining lives. So how would this play out exactly? Well it’s the Mark Of The Beast, and you might want to get your Iron Maiden soundtrack of choice ready!

Peggy Popham gets her flu shot every year, despite her daughter Laura’s opposition to vaccines.

“I’m 70 and I’ve gotten sick before,” said Popham. “I don’t have a great immune system.”

Popham, who spoke to Yahoo News by phone while quarantining at home in Asheville, N.C., acknowledges that the same factors put her at risk for the coronavirus. “Of course,” she said, she’s worried about contracting COVID-19.

But she’s more worried about a possible vaccine for it.

“Absolutely not,” she said. “I would not take the vaccine.”

That’s a view shared by nearly one in five Americans, according to a recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll, which found that an additional 26 percent weren’t sure if they’d take it. Some of them no doubt have been influenced by the anti-vaccine disinformation that has been spreading for more than a decade on social media — although that has been directed primarily at routine childhood immunizations and their hypothesized link to autism. Popham’s reasons aren’t medical: They are religious and political.

Oh my LAWRD, one in five?? One in fucking five??? Sorry, we are allowed to swear in my church, good sir. That ratio is way too high and it’s the reason why we can’t have nice things. And I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with me there, now wouldn’t he? Even the chief vaccinator himself, Bill Gates – many of whom see as the devil himself, weighs in on how ridiculous this all is.

If the worries of most quarantined Christians in the United States center on health and when they might resume their lives, there is a segment that wonders whether this moment has greater biblical significance. These apocalyptic-minded Christians seem to have become increasingly less concerned about the disease itself and more concerned about the government’s response to the disease.

To some, it appears Satan’s emissaries are poised to take advantage of the pandemic. Some Christian pastors believe the start of a Last Days battle for religious freedom began with the social distancing orders that have placed weekly in-person church services under fire. Tony Spell, pastor of Life Tabernacle, a Louisiana megachurch, defended his decision to hold a Palm Sunday service: “The church is the last force resisting the Antichrist, let us assemble regardless of what anyone says.” Another Louisiana pastor, Ronnie Hampton, decried the order “because Caesar is mandating how we conduct ourselves using the pretext of this virus to be able to conduct our lives and run our lives for us.”

American apocalypticists tend to be suspicious of government, of course. This is partly due to their conservative bent, but this suspicion is nearly mandated by a literalist reading of the Book of Revelation. John the Revelator’s arch-villains are political powers that institute totalitarian social controls while persecuting the righteous who refuse to profess their allegiance. The second beast of Revelation 13, commonly known as the Anti-Christ, will, according to many Christians, come to power in the chaos of the apocalypse. John described him as a miracle worker who will deceive the nations to worship the image of an earlier beast, a dragon with seven heads and ten horns that is sometimes identified as Satan himself.

Now here’s where it gets weird, and you knew that it was going to. Even in the great land of Jamaica, you see they are spreading the Mark Of The Beast visions as far as the dreaded virus has been spreading all across the land. The question is, where is this coming from and where is it going? Just like the virus itself, nobody really knows. And I don’t think anybody really cares either.

Jermaine Allen and Jacqueline Murray of the Linstead Seventh-day Adventist Church and North Street Seventh-day Adventist Church, respectively, claimed to have received visions on Tuesday this week.

They stated that the visions warned the “mark of the beast” would soon be imposed around the world. The new world order would force the Jamacian government to impose mandatory worship on Sunday.

“When the Lord gave us the message, we woke with much trembling and I know we had to take this message to the people of the world, and the prime minister of the country, that a great crisis is coming and the devil is going to send persons to enforce a one-day Sunday worship,” Allen said.

The Adventist claimed he had not been able to sleep after his vision.

“God loves (Prime Minister) Andrew (Holness) very much, and he does not want him to follow the rest of the world and institute these laws. He needs to be careful because any country that breaks the laws of God will come to national destruction,” said Murray, referring to the Jamaican PM who also happens to be Adventist.

Now you might be wondering where is this nonsense coming from? Well like all bad things right n ow, it originated from social media. And like all bad things, that propaganda, which I am sure the LAWRD they GAWD would disapprove of, spread as fast as it was made. And you can almost tell it’s bullshit just from looking at it. But does that persuade our brothers and sisters on the right? No it most certainly doesn’t!

As universities and pharmaceutical companies race to put out the first COVID-19 vaccine, some sectors of the religious right are gearing up to fight it, based on tenuous ties to what they call “the abortion industry” and a biblical teaching about “the mark of the beast.”

LifeSite News, a Catholic, anti-abortion website, has gathered more than 350,000 signatures on a petition protesting mandatory coronavirus vaccination orders—none of which have actually been issued. The petition starts with the kind of big-government concerns that have become a hallmark of anti-shutdown protests, claiming that “fear of a disease” could inadvertently lead to support for “the hidden agenda of governmental as well as non-governmental bodies” with plans to “restrict personal freedoms.”

“The so-called ‘public health experts’ have gotten it wrong many times during the current crisis,” the petition states. “We should not, therefore, allow their opinions to rush decision-makers into policies regarding vaccination.”

And there you have it, the people responsible for circulating the Mark Of The Beat propaganda are tools of the devil himself! Me personally? I prefer Iron Maiden. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Tony Evers: People Who Somehow Got Elected [br] [/font] [br]

Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week: Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse. While the rest of us are still reeling from the unfathomable havoc that COVID-19 is wrecking on the rest of the world, Senator Sasse has his own ideas about where it came from. The class of 2020 is suffering from not being able to take part in graduation ceremonies and end of the year activities that every senior from every other year gets to participate in. Instead they were subjected to virtual proms and senior nights on Zoom. Which really is not how you want to remember the last days of your high school or college career. Well, Ben Sasse gave a graduation speech that one will definitely remember. Much like the infamous curse toast from Seinfeld., Ben Sasse gave a speech that a bad comedian might deliver in a really bad improv sketch.

Regulars here at the shebeen are familiar with the exploits of Young Ben Sasse, Republican senator from Nebraska. Young Ben is often discussed as the future of his party, since he has loudly proclaimed himself as a leader of that dwindling faction of the GOP fairly described as Not Publicly Insane. (However, this principled stand has not kept him from enabling El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago whenever the rubber has met the road.) He also has declared himself the avatar of homespun heartland values and virtues. He even wrote a book about how the country has lost both its moral language and its mad cow-milking skillz. It was another one of those interminable conservative hell-in-a-handbasket tomes in which lofty philosophical language is used in place of the phrase, “Kids, today. Jeez.” How that “national moral language” jibed with voting in lockstep with the current moral landfill in the Oval Office is not for small minds to ponder.

Anyway, Young Ben Sasse got yet another week of self-quarantine off with a bang by providing the graduating seniors at Fremont High School in Fremont, Nebraska with a video commencement address, just like Barack Obama, an actual president, did all over television on Saturday night. Except that Young Ben Sasse, tie askew and quarantine stubble ablaze, parked his speech somewhere between a televised megachurch and Open Mic Night at the Chuckle Hut in North Platte.

It’s hard to get a handle on what Young Ben Sasse was going for here. Was his odd denunciation of people named “Jeremy” a signal to Pearl Jam fans in Fremont that he is not with them? Was he trying to be the Hip Senator Who Can Talk to the Young with all that business about climbing the rope in gym class? (Note: I spent four years in high school trying to climb the damn rope. Never made it off the ground.) The denunciation of psychology was probably a pitch for the know-nothing constituency he’ll need later on. As for the rest, I have no explanation for the point where he makes an “I’m old” joke and then replies to it himself, or the sudden time-warped appearance of his 2024 presidential stump speech about the evil Chinese. Also, too: grit.

So that happened. Ben Sasse gave his speech that would be pegged by a comedian that bombed open mic night at the local chuckle hut. But is China really to blame for COVID? Well there’s plenty of theories suggesting yes and plenty of theories suggesting no, but before you go into which is which, let’s keep in mind all the information coming out of China about how bad this thing was going to get, that it would totally upend our way of life as we knew it, but let’s not let facts get in the way of misinformation.

The Republican senator Ben Sasse’s attempt at humor during a speech for high school students has drawn strong criticism.

Sasse delivered the online speech to students at his former school, Fremont high in Nebraska, on Saturday. During the speech he suggested that the students would remember their senior years at their future reunions as “that time when China started a big global pandemic that created the worst public health crisis in over a century and brought the economy to its knees and we had to stay home and everybody was hoarding toilet paper”.

Near the end of the speech, Sasse mixed some serious encouragement for students with another shot at China.

“Nobody knows exactly how we’re going to beat this thing, but you know what, we’re Americans, we’re Nebraskans, we’ve got grit and we’re going to beat this thing,” he said. “We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus ... We’re going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it,” he said.

Sasse also joked about psychologists: “Ninety-five per cent of all gainfully employed psychologists – and I’m serious, there are dozens of them that are gainfully employed - their job is really just to help people forget high school ... If you’re headed to college, do not do not major in psychology. That part’s not a joke.”

Now why do you have to hate on psychologists, Ben? Who hurt you? Now if you’re one of the people who are asking for an apology for this, keep in mind that Senator Sasse is a member of the GOP, they apologize for nothing. But apparently Mr. Sasse has a thing for doctors too, because this is not the first time he’s spoken out about the health care system. And with friends like these, you know, who needs enemies?

"We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus.. We're going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it," he said.

He went on: "Your generation is going to have a big calling. You're going to have to deal with the consequences of all this."

Sasse joked at one point there were no longer differences between parents and teachers, and suggested graduates should avoid majoring in psychology during college.

The Nebraska senator set off a wave of criticism after the speech, which came as he campaigns for reelection in November. His Democratic opponent, Chris Janicek, told The Omaha News-Herald in a statement that "it's hard for me to believe that a US senator would make remarks like he did in that speech."

Yes, it is easily possible for us to believe that a US senator could make those comments. This is, after all, the Donald J. Trump administration, where civility, logic, and reason have all been thrown out the window. But in an era where it’s growing increasingly hard to joke about the news every day, how could a senator stoop to such lows? Well just take a look at who we are dealing with in the United States government, currently.

Sen. Ben Sasse, in an online commencement address Saturday for Fremont High School, delivered a talk that was part attempted stand-up comedy, including shots at psychologists and students’ fitness, and part a scalding indictment of China over the coronavirus pandemic.

It drew sharp criticism from a Fremont school board member, who called on Sasse to apologize, and from Sasse’s Democratic opponent in the November election. The school district issued a statement saying it wasn’t responsible for the comments. Sasse’s spokesman said Sunday that it was all a joke and that students are mature enough to hear the truth about China.

An unshaven Sasse, wearing a loosened red tie and white shirt, told students they would be rare among high school graduates in that they would remember their commencement ceremony because of this year’s odd circumstances.

A couple of the attempted jokes: He said that in life, the graduates would at times be asked to climb ropes. “If you don’t get that joke, talk to your mom and dad. Back in the day when we were a lot fitter than you people are, we used to have to climb ropes all the way up to the ceiling of the gym.”


This is Ben Sasse, yet another in the ever-growing list of:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Plandemic
[br] [/font]

Gather around, boys and girls, ladies and gents, and our LGBT brothers and sisters! I don’t want to leave anybody out. It’s the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! This week we are going to talk vaccines. Because as the talk of the COVID era is a vaccine that will hopefully kill this virus so we can all get back to the lives we had, the only way we are going to do that is with a vaccine. But with the vaccine already is coming a massive, worldwide disinformation campaign about what vaccines actually do. But thankfully social media websites like Facebook, Youtube, and Google are starting to crack down on misinformation regarding Coronavirus. But like a bad weed or a game of whack-a-mole, truly batshit crazy theories never die. They just spawn new legs and move somewhere else.

Social media is playing a huge role in the consumption of news as people seek out information about the coronavirus pandemic. But COVID-19 conspiracy-based claims are also spreading amid reliable news.

“The 2019-nCOV outbreak and response has been accompanied by a massive ‘infodemic’ — an overabundance of information — some accurate and some not — that makes it hard for people to find trustworthy sources and reliable guidance when they need it,” the World Health Organization stated in a February situation report.

The latest viral craze is the documentary “Plandemic.” This 26-minute documentary focuses on former research scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and documentary creator Mikki Willis as they dive into a realm of theories about the pandemic.

The video received over a million views while it was hosted on YouTube. It eventually was taken down late last week for violating YouTube’s community guidelines but has made its way to several other social media sites.

“The creators of the video directly encouraged people to share it,” said Alex Kaplan, senior researcher at the left-leaning Media Matters for America. “On the video’s website when the video was launched, they wrote: ‘In an effort to bypass the gatekeepers of free speech, we invite you to download this interview by simply clicking the button below, then uploading directly to all of your favorite platforms’.”

I don’t really think that’s how the virus spread but it does seem like that it could happen! The pandemic has spawned infodemic – and really just add anything with the word “demic” after it and it will be OK, kind of like when they added the word “quantum” to everything after Ant-Man. So now how does one go through the wormhole on anti-vaxxer thinking? Because like most things involving drugs, it’s a long, strange trip to nowhere.

The conspiracy theory video “Plandemic” recently went viral. Despite being taken down by YouTube and Facebook, it continues to get uploaded and viewed millions of times. The video is an interview with conspiracy theorist Judy Mikovits, a disgraced former virology researcher who believes the COVID-19 pandemic is based on vast deception, with the purpose of profiting from selling vaccinations.

The video is rife with misinformation and conspiracy theories. Many high-quality fact-checks and debunkings have been published by reputable outlets such as Science, Politifact and FactCheck.

As scholars who research how to counter science misinformation and conspiracy theories, we believe there is also value in exposing the rhetorical techniques used in “Plandemic.” As we outline in our Conspiracy Theory Handbook and How to Spot COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories, there are seven distinctive traits of conspiratorial thinking. “Plandemic” offers textbook examples of them all.

Learning these traits can help you spot the red flags of a baseless conspiracy theory and hopefully build up some resistance to being taken in by this kind of thinking. This is an important skill given the current surge of pandemic-fueled conspiracy theories.

And that’s probably the safest way to go out in public as long as Coronavirus and COVID-19 exist. Anti vaccination crusaders are a strange and certainly weird bunch indeed. Also, like most things involving social media in 2020, the scariest thing of all in the war on COVID-19? Disinformation! Yes, the bullshit is coming. And like coronavirus, the bullshit doesn’t care what political party you belong to, or what your social or economic status is.

Some “fake news” is more dangerous than others. Lies, distortions and misinformation about coronavirus can be deadly, which is why YouTube and Facebook keep having to remove posts for a video that has circulated widely on social media, garnering millions of views. Its title, “Plandemic,” gives away its premise: that the COVID-19 outbreak, and the attempts to control it, are part of a sinister conspiracy by the very people whom we trust to keep us safe.

The 26-minute video, which is supposedly part of a longer “documentary” to be released this summer, stars Dr. Judy Mikovits — a scientist who was fired from the Whittemore Peterson Institute for Neuro-Immune Disease in 2011 after her research into chronic fatigue syndrome was discredited and retracted.

The video was produced by Mikki Willis, who according to the New York Times was involved in making “Bernie or Bust” and “Never Hillary” videos during the 2016 presidential campaign.

“The coronavirus epidemic is really fertile soil for all kinds of coronavirus conspiracy theories. And I think this video is actually really a good indication for us of how much misinformation can get out there quickly on social media,” says Dr. Dara Kass, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Columbia University Medical Center and a Yahoo News medical contributor.

Well it certainly seems that way. So yeah the people responsible for splitting the democratic party and giving us Bernie Bros are coming for our vaccines! But even with its’ super strict virus misinformation rules regarding COVID, the execs at Twitter are having a hard time swatting the Plandemic video. Even Roundup won’t kill this thing completely. And like a bad weed it will keep popping up and will take a massive effort to kill it.

It’s been about a week since a lengthy preview from the conspiracy documentary “Plandemic” went viral across the internet. The 25-minute video sent tech companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook into a frenzy as they scrambled to scrape it off their platforms.

The hoax — which featured discredited anti-vaccination scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and has been debunked — sought to expose “the scientific and political elite who run the scam that is our global health system” and accused Dr. Anthony Fauci, a leading member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, of burying anti-vaccination research.

However, over the past week, the Plandemic video has continued to resurface through alternative video hosting websites.

While other social media giants such as Facebook and YouTube have managed to slow the hoax’s spread, unofficial video links to the “Plandemic” documentary continue to seep through Twitter’s policies and moderating algorithms.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: TV Spinoff Showcase
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone, yet another shitty week in quarantine and I could really use a drink!

Well here we are in… what the fuck week is this? I forget. Anyway we’re still in quarantine, it still sucks that we can’t go anywhere. And of course this is the segment where we have some drinks and while we’re drinking we talk about literally anything that doesn’t relate to politics. This week we’re going to discuss some possible TV spinoffs. And one in particular caught my eye. Tell me o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about spinoffs? Some Fight Milk? Well that is a bar staple at Paddy’s Pub in Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But I will stick to Jack Daniels since that’s what I have on hand I have been stocking plenty of it! So which TV spinoff am I the most interested in? Well remember the show Entourage? Yeah there’s talk that uber-creep Jeremy Piven, responsible for everyone’s hot-headed, anger-challenged super-agent Ari Gold should get his own series.

Entourage fans, get ready to hug it out. Jeremy Piven is apparently open to returning to his signature character—foul-mouthed Entourage agent Ari Gold—for a spinoff series.

"Yes, I've been asked about doing a spinoff for Ari Gold," Piven said in a video Barstool Sports shared on Twitter on Thursday. "And I want to put it out there to the people: Is that something you guys might be interested in?"

"I just want to know, we will figure out a hashtag," he added. (Might I suggest #GoForAriGold, Mr. Piven?) Piven also mentioned that if a spinoff happened, he'd bring along Lloyd, Ari's assistant/protege, played by Rex Lee.

Gold—the temperamental and often inappropriate agent who was equal parts unpredictable and brilliant at his job—was arguably the best character on Entourage. (Apologies to all the Johnny Drama stans out there.) He was certainly the breakout character, thanks to Piven's fiery performance and his way with insanely explicit lines, none of which will be quoted here. The actor was awarded several times over for his performance—he nabbed a Golden Globe and three Emmys for the role.

I wonder how Ari and Lloyd are going to work in this socially distant nightmare hell world we’re currently living in? But since we currently have nothing to do but stay at home and watch TV, how are we going to pass the time until social distancing ends? I mean do we really need a spin off of the “Married At First Sight” people living under quarantine? I would probably shoot the TV. Well how about an American Horror Story spin off?

Ryan Murphy is bringing the American Horror Story cast back together for a special new project.

The series creator announced via Instagram that an anthology spin-off series called American Horror Stories is in the works, sharing the news alongside a photo from a recent AHS virtual reunion. Participants included Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Denis O'Hare, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts, Adina Porter, Billie Lourd, and Dylan McDermott.

“American Horror Story cast zoom call...where we reminisced about the good times...the spin-off we're doing called American Horror Stories (one hour contained episodes)...when we will start filming the next season of the mothership...and other stuff I cannot print. It was so much fun and I'm glad we caught up. I miss everyone," he captioned a photo of the group chat.

A representative for FX, home of the American Horror Story franchise, had no further information about the spin-off.

Yeah seriously GTFO with this crap! How about a Star Trek spinoff? We currently have two Star Trek spinoffs on a network that we don’t watch or get – the CBS All Access. Really? Does anybody subscribe to that? Where’s my assistant at? LLOYD!!!! Oh wait, we don’t have any assistants right now. But this does sound promising assuming it can be shot in the post social distancing era.

Three of Star Trek: Discovery’s most popular characters are getting their own spinoff series for CBS All Access.

The new show will be called Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and will follow Anson Mount’s Captain Christopher Pike, Rebecca Romijn’s Number One and Ethan Peck’s Spock in the decade before Captain Kirk commanded the U.S.S. Enterprise through the stars. The show will follow the three shipmates as they travel the galaxy and explore new worlds.

The series premiere of Strange New Worlds is written by executive producer Akiva Goldsman, who will continue to serve as a key creative voice on Star Trek: Picard as well. Just like CBS’s other Star Trek shows, this one will be overseen by Alex Kurtzman. Kurtzman and fellow Discovery producer Jenny Lumet collaborated with Goldsman on the story for the series’ first episode.

Strange New Worlds is one of many shows set in the Star Trek universe that’s on the way in the near future. Rick and Morty writer Mike McMahan’s animated series Star Trek: Below Decks is headed to CBS All-Access. There’s also a show based on Section 31 — a secret and semi-unauthorized branch of Starfleet that handles delicate missions and covert operations — starring Michelle Yeoh that’s currently in development and a new CG-animated series for Nickelodeon. Along with all these upcoming shows Star Trek: Discovery’s third season is set to release sometime in 2020 along with Star Trek: Picard season 2, which doesn’t have a release date yet.

Ah chugging beers, I miss those times. Hopefully they will return again and we’ll be able to put this weird time behind us. But here’s one thing though – since enough content has been produced to last us for a millenia, we may actually run out of fresh material if new shows can’t be produced. Which begs the question – when do we get a vaccine for this shit? We need one!!! We can’t run out of new TV!!!! I mean it!!

We'd be lying if we said Netflix hasn't been somewhat of a saving grace during these unprecedented times. The past month has brought a wave of new original content on the streaming platform, from series like Outer Banks and Mindy Kaling's Never Have I Ever to films like Extraction. While many people are itching for stay-at-home orders to be lifted, Netflix has been able to make this time at home a lot more bearable. Of course, the new content can't last forever. When will it run out?

In an interview regarding the eventuality of a content shortage, Netflix Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos assured CNN that although all production around the world has been shut down, the company's 2020 slate of series and films have already been largely shot.

"We deliver all our shows with all episodes at once, so we're pretty far ahead. We don't see any disruption in our output over the next few months."

Though the next few months are safely secured in terms of new original content, what does that mean for the latter part of the year or early 2021? Some of Netflix's projects are starting to see the effects of physical production being stuck at a halt; but production teams, casts, and executives are finding ways to (safely) nurture the creative process until in-person production can continue, Sarandos shared. One of these ways is virtual table reads of new episodes among actors and writers, giving subscribers hope that new content won't get lost in the shuffle, and when the time does come for people to return to work, Netflix employees will be more than prepared — as if almost no time was lost.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 3 Week 1: The Final Four
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to Stupidest State Round 3! Yes, the third round is finally here! Last week, Michigan’s stunning comeback left Nebraska out of the contest and secured the Final Four for this year! That said, let’s introduce the Final Four and get underway! From the Batshit Conference, it’s the Gem State, Idaho! From the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, it’s the Wolverine State, Michigan! From the Gun Nut Conference, it’s the Sunshine State, Florida! And from the Family Values Conference, last year’s champion, it’s the Cotton State, Alabama!!! Let’s get ready to rumble! We go now live to the floor at the home of the Anaheim Ducks, the Honda Center in Anaheim, for the action! And of course since all the conferences are competing against each other all rules have been thrown out the window and we will just talk about whatever we feel like!

[font size="4"]Layover League Championship: Idaho Vs Michigan:[/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

Well last time Idaho stunned the Batshit Conference by upsetting favorite #1 Virginia and upsetting the Batshit Conference for the first time in many years. And why is that? Because Idaho gun nuts are a special breed of insane. And since they can’t beat Oregon gun nuts, they’ve itching to take away a sizable portion of Oregon’s rural jurisdictions. But would that work or would that backfire on them big time? Well, it has the potential to do both. But instead we’re going to talk about another industry of Idaho – meat packing! Of which COVID is decimating the meat packing industry.

At least 23 employees working at a beef processing plant near Boise, Idaho, have tested positive for the coronavirus, health officials confirmed Saturday.

One additional employee is presumed to have the virus, and two other contract employees have tested positive, Central District Health spokesperson Christine Myron told the Idaho Statesman.

The majority of the employees have recovered, Myron said. Some of the employees who tested positive do not live in the Central District Health area, which serves Ada, Boise, Elmore and Valley counties.

Steve Cherry, CS Beef Packers plant manager, said in a statement that plant employees working in close proximity may have been exposed to the virus. Employees who are ill will remain at home until officials confirm they are recovered, Cherry said. Employees will be compensated for time away from work, he said.


Yes holy shit indeed! And by the way speaking of the stay at home orders, do we really need this douchebag as their spokesperson? I don’t need to remind you of what they turned that Oregon bird shelter into, or the mess they left off that freeway intersection in Reno. Yes, it’s the Bundy clan, and do we really need them fucking things up? Just when you think you can’t make a bad situation worse.

In the video, a man in a black cowboy hat and jacket stands on the sidewalk, offering his commentary on the arrest of Sara Brady, a Meridian woman who was arrested April 21 for trespassing after staging a protest at Kleiner Park, where some facilities had been closed due to COVID-19 concerns.

"It was a woman at a park with her children, and she was arrested," the man said. "Completely inappropriate—that's just the way it is. What will happen is, they'll grind her in the system that's called 'justice,' I guess, until they spit her out, until she's given up or you guys get your say. That's the way I see it, and I've been there."

Indeed, he has. The man in the video is Ammon Bundy, whose previous encounters with law enforcement include the standoff at his father's ranch in 2014 and another standoff at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Eastern Oregon, where he played a central role. The aforementioned video was shot from the sidewalk in front of the home of one of the officers involved in Brady's arrest, where dozens of people staged a protest the evening of the incident.

In a statement released on Facebook, the Meridian Police Employee Association expressed its frustration with both Brady and Bundy's protests, and shock at the intrusion into the private life of a police officer.

Read more: https://www.idahopress.com/boiseweekly/news/citydesk/ammon-bundy-protests-arrest-of-stay-home-order-dissenter-at-officers-home/article_953dec02-aa9f-5a18-a392-19e37b6a8c89.html

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So we’ve seen Idaho and how crazy their right wing is. Now let’s see Michigan. They’ve previously been hot players in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, but this year they’ve managed to top themselves going into the 2020 election. Because as you may or may not be aware, Michigan’s MAGAs and gun nuts have stormed the capitol and we are left with the stuff of pure insanity. See, the Trumpsters and MAGAs aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the light fixture. So when you fill their heads with propaganda that this is bad, well, this is what we get.

Dozens of angry Michiganders, fueled by conspiracy theories and disinformation about the coronavirus, are promoting violence and mobilizing armed rallies against Gov. Gretchen Whitmer on Facebook, in violation of the social media company’s policies.

Metro Times gained access to four private Facebook groups that can only be seen by approved members. The pages, which have a combined 400,000 members, are filled with paranoid, sexist, and grammar-challenged rants, with members encouraging violence and flouting the governor’s social-distancing orders.

On Sunday, after being contacted by Metro Times, Facebook removed one of the groups, Michigan United for Liberty, and deleted posts on others for violating the company’s policy against inciting violence. Facebook announced last month that it will remove groups and events that encourage people to defy social-distancing measures. Facebook also is investigating the other groups...


And in case you’re wondering just how far the Wolverine State is devolving thanks to everything that is going on, look no further than one of their flagship universities, Michigan State University. Based in Lansing, it’s right next to the state capitol. And well, last year, some shit went down involving an extremely racist incident. Look, government still has to go on people. We’ve still got business to conduct, but people are losing their minds.

-- A fight broke out on the steps of the Michigan Capitol Thursday morning during a protest aimed at Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and the ongoing state of emergency and stay-at-home orders.

J. Scott Park, an MLive photographer, witnessed the fight break out after a man carrying a garbage can filled with a sign, an ax and an American flag removed the flag from the can. Attached to the bottom of the flag was an unclothed doll with brown hair that was hanging from a noose.

Organizers of the protest called the display “hate speech” and when one protester tried to take the doll off the flag a skirmish broke out. The man who brought the flag fled away from the fight and to the lawn of the Capitol where Michigan State Police surrounded him.

The man was taken into the Capitol building following the altercation. Michigan State Police reported there were no injuries and no arrests were made.

MSP public information officer Lt. Brian Oleksyk said the man who brought the flag was interviewed by police and he will be allowed to press charges if he elects to.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a winner!!!! Michigan sinks 8 unanswered in a row, they handily defeat Idaho by the score of 88 – 79. Idaho, you had a good run and we will see you next year. Michigan, come on down and cut that net!

[font size="4"]Flyover League Championship: Florida Vs Alabama:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

One of the biggest winners in the Stupidest State contest is undoubtedly Florida. Yes, America’s penis, the Sunshine State, always brings the stupid and crazy. I can always point out a million stories emphasizing the greatness of Florida Man. And well, Florida companies being run by Florida Men and Florida Women aren’t immune from this either. Because as we’ve said, business has to go on and it hasn’t stopped business from putting employees and property in reckless danger.

An Oveido construction company’s workers on faced cave-in hazards via safety violations OSHA classified as “Willful.”

Cathcart Construction faces fines of $303,611 from nine violations found at worksites in Orlando and Winter Garden, the Department of Labor announced.

Most of that proposed fine, $242,886, comes from the two “Willful” violations, one at each site. Of OSHA’s violation classifications, “Willful” is the worst, defined as “a violation in which the employer either knowingly failed to comply with a legal requirement (purposeful disregard) or acted with plain indifference to employee safety.”

The Citation and Notification of Penalty said on Jan. 10, at a sewer improvement project in Winter Garden, workers “were exposed to a cave-in/engulfment hazard” while toiling in a six-foot, one-inch deep, six-feet long, excavation next to traffic.

Yeah so Florida businesses got to be Florida businesses. But this might the most Florida thing to happen in 2020 and this is both for Florida and for 2020. Because in 2020 going to the beach in Florida is considered a death sentence, naturally, you got to have the Grim Reaper serve as a reminder of the problem that we’re facing. But yeah don’t be like Florida Man.

Uhlfelder is a staunch advocate for public beach access in the state, even butting heads with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, whose Florida Panhandle home is parked on a private beach. But allowing anyone on the beach during the pandemic is a mistake, he said -- one that could endanger the community.

"We aren't at the point now where we have enough testing, enough data, enough preparation for what's going to be coming to our state from all over the world from this pandemic," the lawyer told CNN.

Scythe in hand, he traveled to beaches around Walton County, Florida, that have reopened ahead of the state's planned May 4 reopening. "Phase One" of the reopening will allow restaurants and retailers to open at 25% capacity. Bars, salons and gyms will stay closed for now.
The beaches he visited Friday were "very crowded," he said.

"I know how beautiful and attractive our beaches are. But if we don't take measures to control things, this virus is going to get really, really out of control," he warned.

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Florida’s next door neighbor, Alabama, is always guaranteed to do something equally as ridiculous as Florida is. While most states are weighing how to lift their “stay at home” orders amid the COVID-19 pandemic that’s destroyed lives and wrecked the economy beyond repair, Alabama is figuring how to deal with the situation. And we may also feature their governor Kay Ivey on a future “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. However, Alabama wins the Family Values Conference time and time again because, simply put, they don’t care about families.

Coronavirus fallout: Pay raises for Alabama teachers, state employees unlikely to happen
A Senate committee Tuesday approved a General Fund budget that rolls back spending increases — including pay raises for state employees — but doesn't eliminate agency funding increases entirely.

The $2.3 billion budget, approved by the Senate Finance and Taxation General Fund committee, would represent a $167.3 million increase (7.5%) over this year's budget.

Sen. Greg Albritton, R-Atmore, the chairman of the budget committee, said after the vote on Tuesday that the economic downturn was chiefly affecting taxes that go into the Education Trust Fund (ETF), which pays for most public education in the state.

"Most of the revenue plummeting that's going on appears to be affecting the ETF," he said. "We've done changes with the whole way we do the budget ... so that now we have a healthy General Fund budget. We're not searching between the sofa cushion for dollars."

Read more: https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2020/04/28/pay-raises-teachers-state-employees-unlikely-happen-year/3036184001/

Yeah that’s about how Alabama treats its’ working families. And by the way, the constitution doesn’t really matter when making tough decisions. Or maybe it does depending on who’s making the tough decisions that will keep us safe as opposed to, I don’t know, dying of a deadly disease that is turning your lungs inside out and frying your brain. Maybe when making decisions, don’t listen to people like this, especially if you’re the governor of Alabama or the president.

State Attorney General Steve Marshall on Tuesday warned Alabama cities not to stray from the state constitution when passing stricter regulations than Gov. Kay Ivey’s new coronavirus order.

Ivey announced Tuesday that the state stay-at-home order will expire Thursday at 5 p.m. in favor of a so-called “Safer at Home” order, where general retailers will be allowed to reopen at 50 percent capacity. Some restrictions from the stay-at-home order will still apply, including restaurants relegated to only curbside or take-out orders and bars remaining closed.

Some cities, including Birmingham, adopted new ordinances to help contain the coronavirus amid the governor’s new order. The Birmingham City Council approved an ordinance mandating residents wear masks when out in public, with exceptions for exercising.

“As the state begins to phase out of the stay-at-home order, municipalities are wrestling with individual and, in some cases, unique decisions regarding the preservation of the health and safety of their residents. In light of today’s announcement, some municipalities have already expressed their intent to impose or maintain more restrictive orders than the state," Marshall said in a statement. "Though Alabama law grants municipalities broad ‘police powers’ when it comes to protecting the public health and safety, these powers must be exercised within constitutional parameters. Municipalities are thus strongly advised to carefully balance the constitutional implications of imposing and enforcing more restrictive safety measures against the need for such measures. As case law tells us, the broadness of these police powers is not a license to abuse them.”

Read more: https://www.al.com/news/2020/04/marshall-warns-cities-not-to-stray-from-constitution-when-making-stricter-orders-than-state.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have another winner!!! Florida routes Alabama by a score of 18! They take the Flyover League and they’ll face Michigan in a showdown for the ages! Final score: 99 – 81. Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Stupidest State championship! Michigan. Florida. One of these two states will be crowned the 2020 Stupidest State champion! We will be there with the contest and crown our 2020 reigning champion! The champagne is on ice!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="4"]AWOLNATION[/font]

Folks I know we can’t have live bands for the foreseeable future but I do have a new song from a band I love, LA’s AWOLNATION. This is called “Pacific Coast Highway” and features Rivers Cuomo from Weezer!

See you next week for our 8th season finale!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
AWOLNATION Appears Courtesy Of: Better Noise Music
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 20, 2020, 05:00 PM (3 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is our 200th show everybody! And unfortunately I won’t get to have the live audience spectacular that my staff and my crew so richly deserve. But we will get through this and when we get to #250 next year then we will go all out assuming that this wretched virus is gone. But also this is not the way that I wanted to start, but we’re going to the late, great Mr. Jerry Stiller! Of course you know him as the father of actor Ben Stiller who has starred in such movies as Tropic Thunder and Dodgeball. But to me, one of my favorite TV shows has always been Seinfeld. And Frank Costanza, the father of George Costanza, was arguably one of the funniest characters on the entire series of Seinfeld. Not to mention the way he interacted with George’s mom, the equally funny Estelle Harris, and that was magic. So this week we will be paying tribute to Mr. Stiller throughout this edition with some of Frank Costanza’s best moments. Whether it was him giving a tour of a restroom, or him fighting an unhinged Elaine at the police station, or him screaming at Morty Seinfeld about taking up residency at the new Florida condo Del Boca Vista, we’ll always remember Frank Costanza. Oh and there was also my favorite moment, the infamous “Feats Of Strength” which happened during the celebration of Festivus in “The Strike”. So throughout this edition, we will be paying tribute to the late, great Jerry Stiller. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the extremely dire situation that the USPS is in thanks to the shithead virus and our equally shithead president:

At least for our 200th show, we won’t bog you down or bum you out with all the news surrounding the shithead virus that’s been impacting our live and taking a toll on us mentally, physically, and emotionally. Well in the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1) and well, as the old saying goes, “he who denied it, supplied it”. Taking the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). He managed to escape the tepid boredom of being at the White House all day, went to Arizona, and it was quite the shit show. At slot #3, is our old buddy Jacob Wohl (3). Yes he is back and his latest attempt to pay someone to scream sexual harassment, backfired on him big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is an all new “We’re All Gonna Die” (4). And if you think that the coronavirus is bad, wait until you see the killer hornets that Asia has sent our way! Can we have a doover on 2020 please? In the fifth slot this week is a new Top 10 Investigates (5) and what exactly happened in Mississippi? It turns out that a state audit has uncovered some huge money being spent very foolishly. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and is COVID taking a huge dump on your religious rights? Our resident pastor is here to tell you the easy answer to that question – “no”. In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – it is really time to put to rest the rumors surrounding Joe Biden and Tara Reade, because well, the more you argue about it, the more foolish you look. At slot #8 this week is the return of the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, and that is “Conspiracy Corner” (8). Was Trump justified in his firing of disgraced FBI director James Comey? Quick! To the Q Mobile! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is an all new People Are Dumb (9) and the pandemic hasn’t stopped people from being stupid! Finally this week, Stupidest State Round 2 draws to a close as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against red hot #4 Nebraska! And to top it off, we’re going to celebrate our 200th edition with the new Rolling Stones song, appropriately titled “Living In A Ghost Town”! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey Trump! Remember that thing you said was a hoax and that it would just blow over by February and that we’d all get back to normal and live the lives we were supposed to be living? Well guess what? Not only is it very real, it’s killed 81,000 to date (in republican numbers, that’s 25,250 Benghazis). It is living and breathing inside that government owned building that you’ve claimed as your residence, and it’s infected your staff! And it’s probably infected you too, you just don’t know it yet. But how did we get here? Well they keep denying it, downplaying it and blaming it on somebody else, because that’s how the “take no responsibility” party rolls. As the saying goes from my grade school years, he who denied it, supplied it!

On the night of Saturday, May 9, President Donald Trump tweeted five Fox News clips: One from Sean Hannity’s Hannity, two from Jeanine Pirro’s Justice With Judge Jeanine, and two from Jesse Watters’ Watters’ World.

All of the clips were about a supposed “coup d’état,” as the Fox anchors called it, committed by the Obama administration during the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election. "Obamagate, that's the subject of tonight's 'Watters Words'" segment, Watters said. "The Obama people got caught this week and it looks like it goes straight to the top."

But just what is Obamagate?

Although the #Obamagate hashtag has been popular across all major platforms, it has also elicited confusion from people not tapped into the inscrutable narratives of Trump’s fervent online base.

And the president did little to clear up the confusion in a press conference on Monday afternoon: "Obamagate, it's been going on for a long time, it's been going on from before I even got elected,” the president said. Asked specifically what crime he was accusing Obama of, the president declined to answer. "You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to

Remember not even last week when Vice President Jared Kushner said that by July this country would be rocking? Well, this is more like “drop it like your blood clots”. So the Coronavirus has officially come to the White House. But who’s got it? And what could happen? And why was Trump allowed to go to Arizona last week? So many questions and not enough answers!

Over one dozen people in the White House have tested positive for the coronavirus within the last week — and many of them are thought to have come into contact with President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.

The slew of new cases has prompted the White House to crack down on their coronavirus policies. From the beginning, Trump and his administration have been criticized for failing to maintain social distancing guidelines and not wearing face masks in public.

But now, President Trump has ordered the use of face masks within the West Wing. Secret Service agents have been reportedly told to cover their faces when they come in contact with the president, even though Trump himself refuses to wear one.

Additionally, Trump and Pence are reportedly maintaining their distance from one another in order to lower the risk of exposure.

Hey you know what? Let’s expand this a bit. Yeah Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance because Trump’s probably got it! And I wouldn’t be surprised if Pence had it either. Shit, the entire staff is probably infected at this point. But let’s all point out how much of a fucking terrible idea this is, and that it could have serious consequences. Especially if Trump wants to open up the country and hold his stupid MAGA rallies again!

The White House is testing its staff for coronavirus using a device that has been criticized for giving false negatives.

The New York Times reported that the White House is using the ID Now rapid testing system, which can give results in less than 13 minutes.

However, one study in late April found that it was showing a false negative in around 15% of cases — a result affirmed by the director of the National Institutes of Health.

Abbott Laboratories, the test maker, said around the same time that its tests can indeed produce false negatives in certain conditions.

It said that false negatives can occur when used with samples which are dissolved in liquid. It said the tests work properly when a swab with the sample is put directly into the device.

OMFG. Trump really thinks he’s going to test the whole country? I am absolutely shocked (not) that the tests are providing false positives. Hell, if you think Trump’s the guy to trust in reopening the country, I have a can of magical silver solution to sell you! And you can wash it down with a boba shake made from Clorox and Tide Pods. Love that visual! But Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance for now, it seems.

President Trump and Vice President Pence will be "maintaining their distance in the immediate future" on the advice of the White House Medical Unit, a senior administration official told NPR. They were last seen together at the White House on Thursday.

At a Monday White House briefing, which the president attended but the vice president did not, Trump suggested that he might be keeping his distance from Pence for the time being.

"We can talk on the phone," Trump said.

Last week, the press secretary for Pence and a military valet for the president tested positive for the coronavirus.

Pence and others who were in contact with the coronavirus patients have since tested negative, but the virus can take days to incubate. The cases have heightened concerns about the nation's ability to safely reopen.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey look, we got to talk about Trump’s taste in music for a minute. Am I the only one who’s alarmed by the fact that he plays the Rolling Stones’ classic song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” at the end of his rallies? Let’s dissect the message he’s trying to tell us – you can’t always get what you want, but if you try some times, you get what you need. So when Trump got bored and stir crazy and decided to hop Air Force One to Arizona to tour a Honeywell plant that recently converted to manufacturing PPE to help deal with our current coronavirus crisis. How did that work out? Well, in the words of Trump’s favorite song, you can’t always get what you want.

As President Trump attempts to project an image of America rising out of quarantine and beginning to reopen, he traveled on Tuesday to an Arizona factory that's expanded into production of N95 face masks to respond to the coronavirus pandemic.

And while the trip was in part meant to tell a positive story about the Trump administration's response, it also highlights the challenges of the moment.

Arizona remains under a modified stay-at-home order until May 15, though Republican Gov. Doug Ducey allowed some retail establishments to begin to open voluntarily Monday. The state hasn't yet notched the two consecutive weeks of reduced COVID-19 cases called for as a first step in the White House guidelines for reopening. In fact, the number of confirmed cases in the state is on the rise.

And Trump's trip itself was anything but normal. Those traveling with the president or coming in close proximity to him in Arizona were tested for the coronavirus.

Attendees to the president's remarks, about 70 or so people, wore masks and were seated spaced apart from one another.

Yeah these are the kind of people who would literally press the button that says “do not press button” and they actually did that {see: Top 10 #3-5 ). Yes, the Trump administration are literally the people why we need “do not touch” signs because, owning the libs. Now here is where it gets weird. While touring the factory, the workers blasted the Guns N Roses version of the classic Paul McCartney James Bond theme “Live And Let Die” and well, you can’t make this up.

President Donald Trump did not wear a face mask — as is recommended by health officials to aid in preventing the spread of COVID-19 — during his tour of a Honeywell factory in Phoenix, Arizona on Tuesday.

As Trump toured the factory, which is producing N95 masks for the federal government, he and other officials wore safety glasses but did not wear masks. In a clip from Reuters, at one point on the tour, workers blasted Guns N’ Roses’ cover of the James Bond theme song from Wings, “Live and Let Die.” As Trump spoke to a worker that was wearing a mask, he could barely be heard over the din as he asked how many masks were made in a day and the worker’s response is hard to discern. Afterward, Trump gave a thumbs up to the camera. A sign in the factory stated that masks were required in the factory, per CNBC.

Trump, who early into the coronavirus pandemic advised against masks, has refused to wear them despite mounting recommendations from health experts advising everyone to do so. Though he told reporters prior to his factory visit that he would wear a mask if it was mandatory at the factory, a White House official said Honeywell told the White House that masks did not need to be worn, according to CNBC.

In April, Vice President Mike Pence, who is head of the White House’s coronavirus task force, ignored Mayo Clinic’s policy of requiring a face mask. Instead, Pence toured the medical facility and visited patients maskless.

So that happened. It’s one of those things that you literally cannot make up no matter how hard you try, and believe me, we’ve tried here. And by the way, Axl is no fan of Trump. But when one of the biggest rock stars in the world takes on one of the guys with the biggest ego in the world, well, let’s just say it’s on like Donkey Kong! Really this might be the most 2020 thing to happen to 2020 so far, and we’re only 5 months into this year.

Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose didn't hold back on his view of Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, setting off a Twitter spat during the middle of a global pandemic.
"It's official! Whatever anyone may have previously thought of Steve Mnuchin he's officially an [a**hole,]" Rose tweeted Wednesday night.
Less than two hours later, Mnuchin hit back at Rose, with a now-deleted tweet "What have you done for the country lately?" that some pointed out included an emoji of the flag of Liberia. Mnuchin tweeted the snarky response again and included an emoji of the American flag.
Rose took a jab at Mnuchin's flag mixup and responded, "unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths."

"My bad I didn't get we're hoping 2 emulate Liberia's economic model but on the real unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths n' unlike u I don't hold a fed gov position of responsibility 2 the American people n' go on TV tellin them 2 travel the US during a pandemic," he tweeted, apparently referencing Mnuchin's comments during an interview with Fox Business Network on Monday.

Let’s get it on!!! By the way after what’s happening in our first entry this week, future mask factory photo op tours and campaign rallies won’t be happening because well, Trump doesn’t care if he has the virus and who he could give it to. Plus, who would want to be associated with him after the disaster at Honeywell? Well, this is becoming quite insane and don’t expect Trump to follow the rules any time soon.

A Pennsylvania mask factory postponed a visit from President Donald Trump last week because it worried that the event could spread the coronavirus among workers.

The Washington Post reported on Monday that Trump was due to visit a Braskem factory on Friday to thank workers who are making personal protective equipment.

Citing documents and two people familiar with the decision, The Post said factory bosses asked to postpone the visit over concerns that Trump's visit could jeopardize workers' safety and harm the factory's ability to make the materials for masks and other medical supplies.

Trump and Vice President Mike Pence have been criticized for how they have handled similar events.

In early May, Trump was pictured touring a Honeywell mask-making factory without wearing a mask himself, though he later said he wore a mask "backstage."

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Jacob Wohl
[br] [/font]

Answer me this: Are right wing smear artists like Jacob Wohl and Project Veritas just really shitty at their jobs? Every time they are in the news for attempting to smear people for not telling the supposed truth about Trump, it seems to blow up and backfire in their faces. But like a deranged Wile E. Coyote, they keep coming back for more. So what’s the latest blow up from the right wing smear artist? Well, this time, their target was the one guy who’s trying to keep us from dying in large numbers, and that’s Dr. Fauci. But we caught their latest scheme before it even happened, and even the people who it happened to didn’t even really know that it happened!

Last month, right-wing provocateurs Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman called another in a series of hapless press conferences designed to impugn their political enemies. This time they claimed to bring forward a woman to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci, the 79-year-old head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, of sexually assaulting her at a Four Seasons hotel in 2014.

The woman later contacted a journalist at Reason to 'fess up: She said she was Wohl's ex-girlfriend and the duo had paid her thousands of dollars to make the false accusation under a fake name. What's more, she had the tapes to prove it.

"The reality is that I've known Jacob since 2018 and that he charmed me into taking money to do this," she wrote, pointing to a photo of her sitting on Wohl's lap, which he had posted to Instagram months prior.

The smears — which have also targeted Democratic presidential candidates Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, attorney Michael Avenatti and former special counsel Robert Mueller — have successfully raised Wohl's national profile. They have also raised significant questions about his possible liability for slander, libel, bribery, extortion and fraud.

Oh yeah, no question sir. He really is too stupid to insult. Now here’s where this story gets weird, because why wouldn’t it? It’s no mistake that the GOP has been on a massive disinformation campaign to discredit Dr. Fauci and the entire lockdown movement. But why the hell would he make advancements toward a woman who’s half his age? Well because Jacob Wohl is a deeply disturbed individual, like most hardcore Trumpsters.

A 26-year-old woman named Diana Andrade says that right-wing fraudsters Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman paid her to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci of sexual assault.

Dr. Fauci, of course, is director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and a notable member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus task force who actually contradicts the president’s numerous lies about COVID-19.

Around April 27, Andrade (using the name Diana Rodriguez) initially claimed that in 2014, when she was 20 years old, she met Fauci at the bar of the Four Seasons Hotel in Washington, D.C.

“He looked rich and powerful, and I love smart men with grey hair,” she wrote. “He told me all about his fantastic career in medicine, so I went upstairs [to his room].”

After some sort of alleged “ineffective hotel bed wrestling” occurred, she claimed she managed “to flee with her honor intact,” adding, “Now, when I see him on TV touted as some kind of hero, I want the nation to know the truth. This is my truth. This is my story.”

Hey, that’s my move, damn it! Hotel bed wrestling? Who does that? And I’m not talking about what Trump did in that Moscow hotel with those Russian hookers. Allegedly! Allegedly!!! Seriously, these are some creepy motherfuckers. And really why the hell are you trying to take down the one guy who’s trying to save your life? Because well, money talks and bullshit walks.

I'd just finished Saturday morning's second cup of coffee when an email popped through, subject line: "Exposing Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman."

"Hi Nancy, I hope you are having a nice weekend. I feel very bad about lying to you and others about Dr. Fauci. I took it upon myself to call Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman and record them (see attached)… Many thanks and again, I feel very bad about all this. I apologize to you, the other reporters and Dr. Fauci."

The writer of the email identified herself as Diana Andrade. I had never before emailed with Andrade, but had spoken with her 10 days earlier, when I knew her as "Diana Rodriguez." At that time, Rodriguez alleged that when she was 20 years old, in 2014, she'd been sexually assaulted by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and one of the most visible faces in the government's response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the exploits of Wohl and Burkman, they are pro-Trump provocateurs who've found a niche drumming up fake sexual harassment allegations that end comically badly, including against former FBI Director Robert Mueller (who turned out to have been serving jury duty the day he was supposed to have committed the assault) and Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren (the press conference for which took place on Burkman's stoop, and whose supposed victim was a 24-year-old Marine).*

Man even Dave Grohl thinks you done fucked up! But really these morons are the world’s shittiest intelligence agents. It’s no wonder that we’re in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century – you have a nation of morons, you get a moron president. And really, just like coronavirus, this is one thing that you really don’t want to spread. Or even at the very least be caught spreading.

The coronavirus outbreak has made Dr. Anthony Fauci, longtime director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, a household name.

As beloved as he is in some corners, Fauci is loathed in others. He has increasingly weathered attacks from conservatives and conspiracy theorists who disagree with his cautionary approach to the deadly virus and view him as a “deep state” enemy of President Donald Trump.

Last month, as the threats escalated, Fauci was assigned a security detail.

The latest attack on him comes in the form of an accusation of sexual assault.

Earlier this week, the Daily Dot received a press release from a woman claiming that Fauci sexually assaulted her in 2014. The release included the details of the allegation and said she and her representatives plan to hold a press conference on Tuesday in Washington, D.C.

All allegations of this nature are given equal consideration. But the more the Daily Dot looked into the details, the more things didn’t add up. The accuser didn’t respond to multiple requests to speak with her.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Wooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Wooooooooo!! Woooooo! Wooo. Woo. Well, if the coronavirus doesn’t get you, then a new breed of killer hornets might get you! And be prepared to say goodbye to honey because it might be going the way of the dodo if these hornets from Japan have anything to say about it! And in the words of GOB from Arrested Development, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey. Because these killer hornets, which have been dubbed the “murder hornets” are nothing to fuck with. Just to think we’ve dealt with every disaster imaginable in 2020, well, we haven’t seen anything yet!

Even as the US remains under attack from the coronavirus outbreak, a new terror has arrived: "murder hornets".

The 2-inch (5cm) long Asian giant hornets, Vespa mandarinia, have been found in Washington state.

Multiple stings are deadly to humans and in their "slaughter phase" the hornets destroy honeybees, whose bodies they feed to their young.

Scientists are now on a hunt for the hornets, hoping to eradicate the species before they wipe out US bees.

Although they typically avoid people, in Asia, "murder hornet" stings are thought to cause as many as 50 human fatalities a year, according to the New York Times.

The hornets made their first North American appearance in August 2019, in British Columbia, Canada. Months later, in December 2019, the flying insects were reported south of the border in Washington state.

Yeah GOB’s not on board. But are these killer “murder hornets” really something to be frightened about with everything else that’s going on? Or could they just be another harmless mutation of an even scarier super bug? How dangerous of a killer insect are we talking about here? Well we might want to actually read about these things before we start freaking out. I mean come on 2020, throw everything you’ve got at us, we can take it!

The Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia) has arrived in North America. In the past several days photographs and videos have surfaced showing how viciously this insect has attacked honeybees elsewhere in the world: it crawls into hives and rips off the heads of bees in large numbers—making its supervillain nickname, “murder hornet,” feel disturbingly apt. U.S. government agencies and local beekeepers have sprung into action, hoping to eradicate the hornet—thus far seen just in Washington State and nearby Vancouver Island—before it can consolidate a foothold in the continent. Success may lie in how predator and prey interact naturally.

V. mandarinia is the largest hornet in the world. A female worker may grow to a length of nearly four centimeters (an inch and a half), and the insect has large biting mouthparts that enable it to decapitate its victims. Hornets are usually solitary hunters. But between late summer and fall, V. mandarinia workers may band together to conduct mass attacks on nests of other social insects, notably honeybees. This behavior even has a name: the slaughter and occupation phase. U.S. beekeepers supply billions of honeybees each year to help pollinate at least 90 agricultural crops. And they are worried that this new raider could further worsen already deep losses in important pollinator populations.

The hornet is native to Asia, ranging from Japan and Russia down to Thailand and Myanmar (formerly Burma). The first confirmed U.S. sighting was a dead specimen found in Washington last December. But several of the insects had previously been seen on Vancouver Island in British Columbia in the late summer and fall of 2019.⁠ No one yet knows whether the hornet is establishing a North American beachhead in the Pacific Northwest or if it will spread from there. If it does advance, that could mean trouble.

Ha, that episode is a fucking classic. But how are we going to spread the murder hornets? Well maybe not as much as coronavirus, and there’s no chance in hell these are coming to your neighborhood any time soon. It’s not like the dinosaurs and other unspeakable creatures at the end of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Oh spoilers? Come on, fuck that movie. And really we don’t need another disaster movie right now, since the entire world is a disaster thanks to coronavirus. But yeah in the terms of how the murder hornets could be spread, well, there’s a few things that would have to happen first.

When news of the Asian giant hornet’s arrival in the United States first broke, the public was understandably worried: First the coronavirus, now “murder hornets”? What’s next, three days of darkness?

But bug experts from Washington, where the hornet was discovered in the U.S., to California agree that the 2-inch hornet is probably not worth all the buzz it has generated — at least not yet.

“It’s not an existential threat; it’s something that can be managed. You just have to know that they’re there and take the necessary steps,” said Doug Yanega, senior museum scientist at UC Riverside’s Entomology Research Museum. He helped Washington scientists identify the hornets when they were first found.

“It’s like letting a virus spread — you don’t want to let your guard down.”

I like how confident that guy is. But we’re not gonna die just yet. Really people it’s time to calm the fuck down about the murder hornets. We’ve got more important things to worry about, and even bug experts think that we shouldn’t worry too much about the murder hornets. They’re really a non-issue in the bigger picture of things. But when it comes to listening to the experts, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey.

A superhero apparently awaits in the wings, ready to put a halt to the demented hornets.

But let’s take a moment to first figure out what the real story is about these seemingly and unabashedly notorious hornets.

Properly known as the Vespa mandarinia, this inch-and-a-half mega-sized hornet is considered a non-native species of the United States (they normally reside in Eastern Asia), and some of them in the Fall of 2019 were able to somehow “invade” into Vancouver Island, Canada, and also ended-up across the border into Washington state.

Efforts have been undertaken by wildlife entomologists and related specialists to find the hornet intruders and attempt to eradicate them.

According to the National Wildlife Federation, there have been no verified reports of the species in this year of 2020 as being spotted in the United States, and “there is currently no cause to believe that any of these hornets are still present in Canada or the U.S.” (per a May 8, 2020 posting by the NWF).

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Mississippi Audit Scandal
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

When greed and corruption happen at all walks of life, who is to blame? Well there’s many different levels of greed that happen all around us. We go to Mississippi for this story. Where there’s a tale of corruption and greed that is dwarfing and even eclipsing the Enron scandal. It appears that an audit of Mississippi’s financial assets revealed some absolutely ridiculous spending on some very lavish and unnecessary items. And when we say unnecessary items, we mean luxury sports cars, expensive houses, and much much more. Think of this as the Enron scandal, circa 2020. And we can’t even get out much right now.

Money meant to help poor residents was used to buy luxury cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament and hire family members of a top state official, according to a report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofit groups, which allegedly spent the cash in inappropriate or questionable ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report – alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He said, "If there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."

So in a time when the entire economy is entering levels not seen since the Great Depression because of social distancing measures, what’s $94 million in wasted government spending? This is the kind of government spending that the GOP warned us about. Not only that, how did celebrities like Brett Farve get involved in this? Because this is the kind of fraud that is well, beyond fraud. At least Farve is off the hook.

A nonprofit group caught up in an embezzlement scheme in Mississippi used federal welfare money to pay former NFL quarterback Brett Favre $1.1 million for multiple speaking engagements, but Favre did not show up for the events, the state auditor said Monday.

Details about payments to Favre are included in an audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services. State auditor Shad White said his employees identified $94 million in questionable spending by the agency, including payments for sports activities with no clear connection to helping needy people in one of the poorest states of the U.S.

Favre, who lives in Mississippi, faces no criminal charges. The audit report lists the payments to him as "questioned" costs, which White said means "auditors either saw clear misspending or could not verify the money had been lawfully spent." The Associated Press on Monday sent questions to Favre by text message and left a message for him with his longtime agent Bus Cook, and Favre did not immediately respond.

Favre also did not immediately respond to ESPN's request for comment.

That’s Farva. Not Farve. We had a typo in our search engine there. But not only was Brett Farve name dropped in this bizarre scandal, there was also some big name wrestlers in this thing that were being hired for motivational speaking gigs, never performed, but still got paid very well. This must be nice in this day and age to get paid this kind of money for not really doing anything.

Ted DiBiase, the former professional wrestler, has placed his lakeside home in Madison, MS, on the market. The ostentatious grappler once known as the “Million Dollar Man” is seeking $1,575,000 for the French Colonial retreat.

He and his family were recently named in a report by the Mississippi auditor's office as recipients of anti-poverty funds that were misspent on items unrelated to assisting the poor.

On 1.42 acres overlooking Reunion Lake, the “thoughtfully designed” residence covers nearly 6,000 square feet. Built in 2010, the home features five bedrooms and 5.5 baths, with a floor plan designed to take in lake views.

The main level includes a large foyer, private study, formal dining room, and living room. The family room is adjacent to a large kitchen with high-end appliances and finishes.

Yeah sure so the government of Mississippi just name dropped all Mississippi celebrities in a bizarre audit and wasteful spending. So Mississippi might be SOL when it comes to a wasteful spending spree, and these days that kind of money might be hard to find. But certainly they are not the only ones out there. The government of Mississippi is just the ones who got caught. And expect many more where that came from.

Money meant to help poor Mississippians was instead used to buy expensive cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament, hire family members of a top state official and pay Brett Favre for speeches he never gave, according to a new report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofits, which then frequently spent the cash in inappropriate or suspicious ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report — alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He added that "if there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Should we be shocked at the behavior coming from our fellow zealots on the right lately? No, I didn’t think so. Well, the Great Pandemic is not only a testament to the greatness and the worst that man can achieve, did you know that it is also a spiritual battle for your very soul? Because there’s a holy war brewing against the EVIL known as social distancing. This is not something that the good LAWRD would have ever envisioned! It’s not “love thy neighbor” as the good LAWRD JAYSUS would have you believe! No! instead, it’s a war for your very SOULS! Because the good LAWRD is using this as a time of spiritual revival.

Jerry Boykin, a retired lieutenant general who once led U.S. special forces, discussed the coronavirus during last week’s online event promoting “The Return,” a prayer-and-politics rally being convened by End Times author Jonathan Cahn. Boykin claimed that “everybody” he knows understands that COVID-19 came out of a lab in China—many scientists have publicly rejected the lab theory—and he suggested that the release of the virus was a “deliberate attack,” while acknowledging that the evidence is inconclusive. But Boykin was “hopeful and enthusiastic” that “we are seeing right now the beginning of a revival or Great Awakening” as more people are turning to God during the pandemic.

As the executive vice president of the Family Research Council and a member of POTUS Shield’s leadership council, Boykin serves as a bridge between traditional religious-right political groups and dominionist Pentecostal leaders who are among Trump’s most ardent supporters.

“We look at this COVID thing and we ask, ‘How can anything good come out of it?’ Well, Bible sales are up and online sermons are seeing record numbers of people coming to Christ,” Boykin said. “Now, you know, there’s a flip side, too, and that is that a lot of people are getting into pornography now, and the church is going to have a big burden to try and help people get off of it when this is all over with.”

During the livestream, which was hosted by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia, Cahn said that God changed the course of the nation by putting Ronald Reagan in the White House in response to a prayer event held at the U.S. Capitol in 1980. He mentioned that 1980 was also the year of the failed attempt to rescue American hostages being held in Iran, which ended in a disastrous helicopter collision in the desert. Amedia said Cahn’s mention of the failed Iran mission “put chills down my back” because Boykin had taken part in that mission.

Now Reverend, need I remind you that before the outbreak you guys were the ones who were cheerleading for the apocalypse? Now that we’ve got a taste of what Armageddon might be like, you guys are suddenly walking back on your comments? Really now. But if we want to get back to the fun times we had before the pandemic, Brother Jim is back and he’s got some more snake oil to sell you!

End Times pastor Jim Bakker has been facing various financial and legal problems ever since he used a February episode of his television program to promote a silver solution sold by his network by suggesting it could possibly kill the coronavirus and heal those who have been infected.

Bakker is currently being sued by Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt “for misrepresentations about the effectiveness of ‘Silver Solution’ as a treatment for 2019 novel coronavirus.” Yesterday, Bakker’s legal team issued a press release announcing that it had filed a motion to dismiss the lawsuit against Bakker, who they claim “is being unfairly targeted by those who want to crush his ministry and force his Christian television program off the air … This case is about religious freedom.”

The motion to dismiss contains a sworn statement from Maricela Woodall, who is Bakker’s adopted daughter and the Chief Operating Officer of Bakker’s Morningside Church ministry. Woodall asserts that Morningside considers Bakker’s daily television program to be a religious service and everything Bakker says on it to be a sermon directed at his congregation.

Woodall and Morningside insist that Bakker’s silver solution was “made available to this generation by God” for the benefit of their viewers and therefore any attempt to hold Bakker accountable for falsely promoting it as a coronavirus cure is an unconstitutional attack on Bakker’s religious liberty.

Now I am going to use that excuse in everything I do from now on. See? My solution was made available by GAWD!!! But with your accusations and conspiracy theories and fake cures, is it any wonder why GAWD is getting pissed? Well with friends like these, who needs enemies? This whole thing is really getting out of hand, and as your pastor, I am here to say.. fuck it. Can I get an amen???

Anti-abortion activist Alveda King implied last week that New York has been hit so hard by the COVID-19 pandemic because it is “the home of abortion.” Religious-right leaders routinely portray the U.S. as deserving of God’s wrath for permitting legal abortion.

King made her comments on a Wednesday night online gathering called by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia to promote “The Return,” a religious-right pre-election rally being planned for Sept. 26 on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. King, who is a member of the POTUS Shield leadership council, said she would be attending “The Return.”

On the call, Amedia asked King to talk about the topic of abortion, saying that “too many children have died, and the blood is crying out to our Lord.” Amedia reminded listeners that he has prophesied that God would allow President Donald Trump to name three Supreme Court justices and enough lower court judges to change the law of the land. Trump has an “assignment of God” to do away with abortion, Amedia said, which is a reason that POTUS Shield supports Trump:

But the biggest thing that I see, the biggest function we have, is we have a man that God has put his hand upon, and he has assignments, and one of the biggest assignments of all—besides busting up the Babylonian system and dealing with China, and all the other mantles that have fallen upon this single man—is the life of the unborn children. And that’s an assignment of God. And we have to see that all the way through, and we need to see that through to its conclusion … God cannot close his eyes to the murder of children and putting children on the altar and the sacrifice of our own selfishness and humanism.

Really? You know it’s not just children, there’s a whole lot of us that are going to die before all this is settled and the Great Pandemic goes away. By the way, in the middle of the worst pandemic in a century, here’s what our brothers and sisters on the right really think of you. Rather than wanting you to vote by mail which is the safe thing to do, the right would rather send you to die at the ballot box because, drum roll, voter fraud!

President Donald Trump’s political operation is battling efforts to expand vote-by-mail and his religious-right backers are helping lead the charge. On Intercessors for America’s monthly prayer call on May 1, True the Vote leader Catherine Engelbrecht told a group of pro-Trump prayer warriors that the struggle over expanded vote-by-mail is a “spiritual battle” for “control of the free world.”

Voting rights advocates and public officials around the country are working to expand voters’ ability to vote by mail in response to the public health risks that voting in person pose this year. (Dozens of cases of COVID-19 have been linked to voters and election workers from Wisconsin’s April 7 elections.) But Trump’s political operation is spending tens of millions of dollars to expand “its legal effort to stop Democrats from overhauling voting laws in response to the coronavirus pandemic,” Politico reported Thursday.

Intercessors for America and True the Vote are on board. Engelbrecht claimed on IFA’s call that the expansion of vote-by-mail is an effort to “absolutely destroy free and fair elections.”

True the Vote describes itself as a nonpartisan “citizen-led movement” working for “free and fair elections.” It has a track record of challenging voter registrations, supporting voter ID laws and voter-roll purges, and fielding election observers who provoked allegations of voter intimidation. It is planning to field off-duty police officers and veterans to patrol polling places this year.

Well we will be having signups because that’s exactly what the right doesn’t want! It’s not a spiritual battle for your soul, it’s a spiritual battle for your vote! And they are voting for the Dark One! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Joe Biden Allegations
[br] [/font]

Look, people, look. Joe Biden, our presumptive democratic nominee for 2020, has his issues as being a bit of a creeper (see: Top 10 #6-14 ). But here’s the thing - there’s no credibility here among this latest series of allegations. And since the shit hit the fan with the Coronavirus, this should be like last on our list of priorities to investigate right now, don’t you think? And why are we investigating at this stage in the game? Well, conservatives love to investigate their political opponents because they’re emboldened by AM talk radio, Fox News, and the clergy. But really, get over the fact that he sniffed some people’s necks. This might be creepy behavior sure, but Biden has nothing on Trump!

A woman has filed a police report claiming that presidential candidate Joe Biden sexually assaulted her in 1993, according to reports.

Tara Reade filed a criminal complaint with the Washington Metropolitan Police Department of accusing the 2020 Democratic nomination of pushing her against the wall in a Senate corridor and penetrating her with his fingers, according to Business Insider.

The alleged incident occurred while Reade was working as a Senate staffer for Biden nearly 30 years ago.

Reade first made the claims against Biden last month. In a tweet, Reade thanked those who helped her come forward with the allegations, as well as "luminaries" who have supported her such as Susan Sarandon, John Cusack, and Rose McGowan.

Reade also confirmed that the statute of limitations around the claims against Biden have passed.

"I filed a police report for safety reasons only. All crim [sic] stats beyond limitations. Gratitude for all who have stood by me," Reade tweeted.

Eh… not really. As I said in the previous entry on this, on the creeper scale, Joe Biden is most definitely a 1 out of 10. Trump is easily a 9.5 out of 10. He might have to issue a few more quaaludes, Cosby style,sd to qualify for a full 10 out of 10. So why wait until the primaries are over for this, as the Dude says, new shit to come to light? And why wait 30 fucking years to report it?

The allegations of sexual misconduct by Tara Reade against the former vice-president Joe Biden have caused new fault lines within the Democratic party, especially between its left wing and the establishment.

Reade is a former Biden Senate staffer who has accused the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee of sexually assaulting her while she worked in his office in the 1990s. Biden and his campaign have flatly denied the allegations and major news outlets have continued to investigate.

Meanwhile, liberal grassroots activists have clashed with centrist Democrats and senior party figures over how to respond to the allegations. The arguments often point to how Democrats approached previous high-profile sexual assault allegations, such as the accusations by Christine Blasey Ford against Brett Kavanaugh during the now supreme court justice’s contentious confirmation hearings.

Peter Daou, a Democratic strategist who has argued that the “Democratic establishment” has moved to undercut Reade’s allegations, said three basic factions had emerged.

No people, now is not the time to get panicked about this sort of thing. Should these claims be investigated? Absolutely. Now we’re not going to say whether or not the claims hold any amount of water, because even we don’t know the answer to that. But even Trump himself thinks that these accusations should be false. Well yeah that speaks volumes about who he is, doesn’t it?

President Trump said Friday that he hopes the sexual assault allegation against his likely Democratic opponent, Joe Biden, is "false." The president also alluded to the 20-plus allegations of sexual misconduct and assault that have been leveled against him over the years.

Regarding the claim against Biden, "I don't know if it's false or not," Mr. Trump said on "Fox & Friends." "Joe is going to have to be able to prove whatever he has to prove, or she has to prove it, but that's a battle he has to fight."

"I've had many false accusations made, I can tell you that," he added. "Many. And maybe it is a false accusation. Frankly, I hope it is for his sake."

Mr. Trump's comments come a day after Tara Reade, a former Senate aide to Biden who says he sexually assaulted her in 1993, told Megyn Kelly in an interview that she thinks Biden should drop out of the presidential race. Biden is the presumptive Democratic nominee.

Also on Thursday, The Tribune newspaper in San Luis Obispo, California reported on a court document from the time of Reade's 1996 divorce proceedings that shows she told her ex-husband she had been sexually harassed when she worked in Biden's office. It did not accuse Biden personally or include an allegation of sexual assault.

Damn straight! They can’t even get the court filings right! So did future president Biden commit sexual harassment or not? Well the answer is even they don’t know. And come on, it was the 90s, everyone was engaged in that sort of thing. So I’m told. Although do we need to get the endorsement of the CAFSA? It seems they’ve made their decision clear, but really would there be any presidential candidate that they would endorse? Probably not.

The Coalition Against Fraternity Sexual Assault publicly removed Penn Democrats from their group on Tuesday. CAFSA said in a public statement that Penn Dems was removed because they endorsed former Vice President Joe Biden for president, a figure who has been accused of sexual harassment and assault.

CAFSA, an on-campus organization officially founded in September 2019 to combat rape culture and support historically underrepresented minorities, released their statement in a Google Document on Twitter. CAFSA's document highlighted allegations made against Biden and denounced Penn Dems’ response to the allegation that the former vice president had sexually assaulted Senate staffer Tara Reade in 1993.

"We are writing this statement not only to criticize Penn Dems for endorsing a sexual predator for President, but also to reinforce our commitment in supporting and believing survivors," CAFSA's statement read.

According the CAFSA's website, all clubs in the coalition "support the cause to expel fraternities from Locust Walk and replace them with cultural centers and wellness." By listing their club on the website, they are "committing to the cause and pledging solidarity."

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Comey Central
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to a new edition of the segment where we proudly dissect the latest in the world of absolutely batshit online conspiracy theories, Conspiracy Corner! Just let me get out my trusty tin foil hat, which kind of needs some patching up since I can’t get foil thanks to COVID. But this week marks the third anniversary of the firing of disgraced FBI head James Comey. Since then, Trump has been turning the conspiracies up way past 11. And that has sent Trump supporters into maximum overdrive mode. Really, Trump is turning into the Grandmaster from the Thor franchise – he could tell his followers to take to the streets and they’d do it. So what’s wrong with this picture?

Donald Trump continued to fume over the Russia investigation on Sunday, more than a year after special counsel Robert Mueller filed his report without recommending charges against the president but only three days after the justice department said it would drop its case against Michael Flynn, Trump’s first national security adviser.

“The biggest political crime in American history, by far!” the president wrote in a tweet accompanying a conservative talk show host’s claim that Barack Obama “used his last weeks in office to target incoming officials and sabotage the new administration”.

The tweet echoed previous messages retweeted by Trump, which earned rebukes for relaying conspiracy theories. On Sunday afternoon the president continued to send out a stream of tweets of memes and rightwing talking heads claiming an anti-Trump conspiracy. One tweet by Trump simply read: “OBAMAGATE!”

Trump fired Flynn, a retired general, in early 2017, for lying to Vice-President Mike Pence about conversations with the Russian ambassador regarding sanctions levied by the Obama administration in retaliation for interference in the 2016 election.

Yeah probably! So why wait until now to launch an investigation into the investigators? Well knowing Trump and the conservatives, who wasted years and billions investigating Benghazi, are probably going to waste more years and billions. So what’s this grand conspiracy that seems to be burying Trump? And why is he going all out now in a blaze of glory? And do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? You bet your ass I don’t!

Paging James Comey — it’s time to stop tweeting — and lawyer up instead.

Take this beauty he tweeted on Saturday: “Bill Barr on CBS offers no facts. An AG should not be echoing conspiracy theories. He should gather facts and show them. That is what Justice is about.”

This is the same former FBI director who — with his co-conspirators at the highest echelons of the Department of Justice,and Democratic lawmakers hell bent on derailing the Trump administration — peddled the fact-free Russian “Collusion” Conspiracy. A hoax that’s since been disproven by the 22-month special counsel investigation as well as several congressional investigations that all found no such collusion existed between Russia and the 2016 Trump campaign.

Even Trump-hating former FBI agent Peter Strzok said in an uncovered text message at the outset there was “no there, there,” but those facts didn’t stop Comey and the Deep State from launching a counterintelligence investigation against the president and his 2016 campaign associates — and spying on them — to help Hillary Clinton get elected.

Oh it’s all fun and games until someone commits some light treason. But since we’re on the subject of Arrested Development, does this mean that someone can be charged for the same crime twice? First off, ask Roger Stone or Chelsea Manning. Well one of our favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorists out there, Q Anon truther Ann Vandersteel, thinks she might have stumbled upon the secret – Comey may have already got arrested and it’s all a cover up! That’s what they want you to think!

Yesterday we noted that the prediction made on April 30 by right-wing QAnon conspiracy theorist Ann Vandersteel that former FBI Director James Comey, former CIA Director John Brennan, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, and various deep state “minions” would all be arrested by May 5 had obviously not come true.

Vandersteel initially made the prediction based on information she received from a source who she claimed “has never been wrong.” On last night’s “Steel Truth” program, Vandersteel addressed the fact that there is no evidence that any of these people have been arrested by saying that she got back in touch with her original source who told her that Comey may in fact have already been picked up.

Vandersteel’s source told her that he has had somebody “following James Comey for a while” who reports that Comey has not been seen since April 24.

“I have stressed over and over it was a rumor,” Vandersteel said. “I called my source last night about it, and I said, ‘You know, what do you think is going on?’ He said he’s had somebody, another person that he’s connected with, following James Comey for a while. He lives around the block, and he said James Comey was last seen in a supermarket on April 24, and that was the last time he was seen in public. His family and his house have been empty since April 24.”

“Maybe they’re on vacation. Who knows? I don’t know,” Vandersteel added. “Maybe the U.S. Marshals have them. I don’t know. Maybe he’s a cooperating witness. I have no idea.”

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]People Are Dumn
[br] [/font]

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Even the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century has stopped the flow of stupid. I want to start with this story out of Utah. Look, I get it – we’re sequestered in lockdown for god knows how long because of Coronavirus. And this has got to be especially boring for kids. I get it, I was a kid once. Video games and cartoon reruns can only get you so far. But this kid, who was dreaming of owning a ridiculously overpriced Italian sports car decided to take matters into his own hands. But was it really worth rewarding this recklessly insane behavior from this kid?

A driver who police suspected was under the influence on a Utah freeway Monday was really just underage — by a long shot.

The 5-year-old boy told a trooper he hit the road in his parents’ car so he could buy a Lamborghini in California. He took the wheel after his mother refused to purchase the luxury ride for him, said Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Nick Street.

One of Street’s colleagues was preparing to pull over a different driver for speeding about noon Monday when he spotted a car drifting in and out of its lane, braking erratically and switching lanes without a turn signal on southbound I-15, according to Street.

In dash cam footage released by UHP, the boy appeared to be driving a gray SUV. When the trooper turned on his siren, the boy quickly pulled over on the left side of the highway next to the median.

The trooper got out of his car, approached the vehicle and asked the boy a series of questions, including how old he was.

Man when I was five all I knew how to do was make Hot Wheels go down a track! Next up – dumb animals! Yes, even animals are not immune from being stupid! So stop me if you’ve heard this grade school nursery rhyme before. Once there was a pig who swallowed a tracking device. And the tracking device caught fire. Yes, that happened. And the damage might be more severe than you would think!

A fire on a farm in northern England was accidentally set ... by one of the pigs.

The firebug (firehog?) had swallowed a pedometer worn by one of its fellow pigs to demonstrate that the animals were free range, the BBC reported.

But after the pig excreted the pedometer, copper in its battery sparked a flame in the pig dung and dried hay bedding on March 7 at approximately 2 p.m. local time, according to the BBC. The fire spread to cover about 807 square feet (75 square meters) of the farmyard before it was contained, according to The Independent.

Four pigpens caught fire at the farm, located near Leeds in the county of Yorkshire, and fire crews from nearby Tadcaster and Knaresbororough rushed in with hoses to "save the bacon," the North Yorkshire Fire and Rescue Service tweeted on March 7.

Of course how could you not have a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning everyone’s most favorite penis-shaped state? I’m of course talking about Florida. And this is yet another one of those stories where life imitates art. And the art in this case is The Big Lebowski. Walter Sobchak is no role model by any stretch of the imagination. I also don’t think that Florida Man knows that’s one piece of art that shouldn’t be imitated.

Angered that a group of golfers was violating rules on the course adjacent to his home, a 74-year-old Florida Man allegedly threatened the players with a BB gun, prompting the septuagenarian’s arrest Friday evening on six felony charges, records show.

According to cops, John Robert Orr initially shouted at the golfers for driving their cart over a bridge and onto the putting green at the 8th hole of The Conservatory course in Palm Coast. The 199-yard, par three hole features an island green and is touted as the “signature hole” of the Tom Watson-designed course.

Seen above, Orr lives in a home that backs up to the hole, though the residence is separated from the course by a cement wall and the water that surrounds the green.

One of the golfers told police that Orr yelled at them to leave the course and that “use of the golf cart in that manner was against regulations of the golf course,” according to a charging affidavit.

Next up – I think Florida Man has been traveling but no one can really cross state or national lines right now due to the lockdowns. But in California, my home state, this is one thing you should not be doing when there’s a killer virus roaming the landscape capable of shredding your insides. Well, this is also another example of life imitating art, and another example of life imitating art when there’s no way you should be imitating it.

MODESTO, Calif. (KOVR/CNN) - A California man was arrested after he allegedly forced the driver of a tanker truck carring red wine to pull over, climbed onboard and began drinking from the tank, as the truck continued down the highway.

The dash cam video from a Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck hauling bulk red wine through Modesto, California, allegedly shows suspect 39-year-old Gabriel Moreno in a sedan, putting his hazard lights on and directing the truck to the side of the highway.

Believing he may have had a mechanical problem, the truck driver pulled over, only to see Moreno get out of his car wearing just underwear. He ran to the passenger side of the truck and out of view of the camera.

As the driver pulled back on the freeway, another onboard camera captured the suspect jump back into view then on the back of the wine truck. With no shirt and no shoes, Moreno rode on the side of the tanker then climbed underneath the truck as it hit freeway speeds.

Finally this week – one of my favorite movie series that has broken in the last 5 years has been undoubtedly the Keanu Reeves vehicle John Wick. I love these damn movies, and it’s a shame that Part 4 has been sidelined because of COVID. Chapter 3 was so good! But once again, you should never imitate art in this case, and especially not do something this ridiculously dumb. But what could possibly go wrong in this case?

A Florida man allegedly tried to blame a weapons bust on John Wick, the legendary assassin played by Keanu Reeves in the eponymous movie franchise, according to a new report.

Cops confronted Getro Gelin, 27, at his Port St. Lucie home Sunday after a woman told police he shoved her to the ground and threatened her with a firearm, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The woman told authorities Gelin may have stashed the weapon in his Porsche SUV, according to the report. Cops searched the vehicle and found a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest, according to the report.

When cops asked Gelin to explain, he explained that the SUV wasn’t even his anymore — he’d sold it “to his cousin John Wick,” according to the affidavit. ......(moe)


That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! We are in the home stretch everybody as just one conference championship remains before the Final Four showdown! Last week, Idaho stunned the favorite Virginia to take the Batshit Conference and advance to their first Final Four in franchise history! And we don’t need to tell you that the Layover League championship is set with Florida set to take on Alabama in a rematch of last year’s championship. This week it’s the last week of Round 2 as #1 Michigan is set to take on #4 Nebraska in a battle to go for broke in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We’re at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! Let’s go to the floor!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championship[/font]

[font size="4"]#1 Michigan:[/font]

So we are nearly 4 years into the Trump administration and the once-bustling city of Flint still does not have potent water. But Michigan is facing a crisis of unwavering magnitude as COVID ravages the entire landscape. Mostly aimed at Gov. Whitman because conservatives be crazy and they are crazier than you’ve ever seen them during this pandemic. But how is Michigan going broke? Well here’s one way to make things worse – the elected representatives are the crooks!

The embattled elected official issued a statement Wednesday evening on the misdemeanor shoplifting offense.

"I would like to apologize to my family, friends and especially my constituents for my substantial lapse in judgement today, Wednesday, May 6. A combination of many external factors led to my poor judgement. The economic impact of the COVID-19 statewide lockdown has taken a serious toll on me personally," she said.

"I obviously was not thinking clearly, and I take full responsibility for my actions. Recently, I had to choose between insulin and food, and I chose the insulin, which helps me stay alive.

"Recent threats and harassment along with censure in Royal Oak for my attendance at 'Operation Gridlock' and a lack of sleep have resulted in my mistake. Thanks to the support of family and friends, I am now seeking treatment from medical professionals to ensure I never make a mistake like this again."

Read more: https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2020/05/07/royal-oak-city-commissioner-kim-gibbs-shoplifting/3087242001/

Yeah somehow don’t use Nelson’s example. So how does Michigan plan to reopen the economy? Well there’s plenty of data out there that suggests that now is not the time to do that, despite what the gun nuts and the reopen protestors think. But the coronavirus has just ravaged everything and Michigan’s economy is no joke.

How severe a blow has the coronavirus pandemic and the resulting near-shutdown been to the Michigan economy?

Worse than you may suspect.

Charles Ballard, a professor of economics at Michigan State University who has spent his career specializing in the state, put it this way. “GDP, the nation’s Gross Domestic Product dropped about 26 percent from 1929 to 1933,” the worst of the Great Depression.

“Moody’s estimated that this year, it had fallen 29 percent in just the first three weeks of the pandemic,” he said. By Moody’s, he meant the highly respected analytics and investor services company.

What’s more, the professor thinks things have gotten even worse since then — and thinks Michigan may have been even harder hit. “You could say this is weird on steroids,” said Professor Ballard, author of the highly praised book Michigan’s Economic Future.

In some ways this is not as bad as the Depression. For one thing, there is a social safety net, things like unemployment insurance and food assistance that did not exist in 1929.

Yes! Holy shit indeed! But here’s the thing – why are white supremacists the ones who are the ones threatening to reopen the economy? What’s their motivation? And why are they threatening Gov. Whitmer like never before? Well there’s lots of reasons why they would and would not. But really, the Proud Boys can go lick subway poles. It’s insane to think this is where we’re headed.

A series of protests, primarily in state capitals, are demanding the end of COVID-19 lockdown restrictions. Among the protesters are people who express concern about their jobs or the economy as a whole.
But there are also far-right conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and citizens’ militia members at these protests. The exact number of each group that attends these protests is unknown, since police have not traditionally monitored these groups, but signs and symbols of far right groups have been seen at many of these protests across the country.

These protests risk spreading the virus and have disrupted traffic, potentially delaying ambulances. But as researchers of street gangs’ and far-right groups’ violence and recruitment, we believe these protests may become a way right-wingers expand the spread of anti-Semitic rhetoric and militant racism.

The Proud Boys, and many other far-right activists, don’t typically focus their concern on whether stores and businesses are open. They’re usually more concerned about pro-white, pro-male rhetoric. They’re attending these rallies as part of their longstanding search for any opportunity to make extremist groups look mainstream – and because they are always looking for potential recruits to further their cause.

While not all far-right groups agree on everything, many of them now subscribe to the idea that Western government is corrupt and its demise needs to be accelerated through a race war.

[font size="4"]#4: Nebraska[/font]

Man, Cartman seemed unusually happy there for a minute didn’t he? Well next we come to Nebraska who last time shocked Tennessee with a buzzer beater. But do they have what it takes to win the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference and send Michigan packing? Well as we discussed, Nebraska’s chief export is obviously corn. And also meat, as we have plainly seen is having a huge effect on the economy right now as COVID is ravaging meat farmers. In fact here’s what COVID has done to Nebraska’s economy.

An updated report shows the state's economy is taking a severe hit from the coronavirus pandemic.

New estimates from economists Ernie Goss and Scott Strain show that Nebraska has so far lost more than $834 million in economic activity as a result of COVID-19.

The figures, published in the new Platte Institute report, "The Economic Impact of COVID-19 on Nebraska's Economy: Second Cut, are based only on data through April 4. A version of the report released last week had estimated a $63 million loss in March.

The Platte Institute said total losses are expected to keep climbing and it will continue to release updated figures as new data become available.

The report estimates 96,147 job losses in Nebraska through early April, resulting in a loss of more than a quarter of a billion dollars in wages and salaries, and more than $30 million in self-employment income. These figures do not account for federal money that has come into the state through COVID-19 relief programs.

But here’s the thing – reopening things isn’t going to be that easy and it may take years to get back to pre-virus times. But let’s hope that governors don’t do anything stupid between now and then. Of course Trump certainly isn’t helping things progress. If anything he’s doing the opposite. And there’s no way that Gov. Ricketts would listen to Trump is there?

Gov. Pete Ricketts said he remains focused on keeping Nebraskans safe and preventing the state’s health care system from being overrun because of the coronavirus rather than the politics of when to reopen the economy.

At an afternoon news briefing Tuesday, Ricketts said Nebraska will continue to work collaboratively with federal and local governments to determine when and how the state will lift restrictions meant to slow the spread of COVID-19.

“There are people out there who are trying to drive a wedge between the president, governors, public health officials,” he said. “Let’s not get caught up in that Washington, D.C.-type ‘gotcha’ politics.”

Ricketts’ statements come a day after President Donald Trump announced, both on Twitter and during a daily White House news briefing, that it was his sole decision when pandemic restrictions would be relaxed and the economy would be allowed to reopen.

So while we’ve talked about Nebraska’s agriculture industry, how are they being impacted by current events? Well, the governor unconventionally called for April to be declared “Beef Month” in support of local farmers, but the concept of a “beef” could have a very different meaning depending on where you come from.

Last week, Gov. Pete Ricketts declared May as “Beef Month” in Nebraska.

“When we think of beef, we often think of ranches, pastures, and rolling hills,” Ricketts said. “But it’s more than that. It’s a main economic driver in our state. It generates jobs throughout the entire supply chain.”

But the COVID-19 pandemic has caused “significant challenges” to Nebraska’s agricultural economy, especially for cattle, pork, and poultry producers. They have been affected by both price decreases and significant logistical challenges connected to the slowdown or closure of meat-processing facilities.

Nebraska Farm Bureau (NEFB) has determined that Nebraska revenue losses alone will total $823 million, or 10% of the state’s cattle receipts in 2018.

To address those problems, NEFB is urging Congress to support additional funding for agriculture in any pandemic response package that moves through Congress.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a situation developing here… Michigan is staging a comeback after being down in the second half by 20 points. But Nebraska has had several free throw attempts and missed rebound opportunities, which means that Michigan is up by 5 with 30 seconds left. Nebraska has the ball… they shoot, ooh, a miss!!! Michigan wins!!! Epic comeback by the Wolverine State! Final score 81 – 76! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Final Four! All four conference winners have been set and are ready to tangle! Florida. Alabama. Michigan. Idaho. Two of these teams will advance to the championship, and then we will declare our winner on 5/27! We’re live in Phoenix at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, the Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona for all the action! Getting exciting!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]

Folks, I don’t need to tell you that this is not the celebration I had in mind for the 200th edition of the Top 10. Which means no live audience or featuring one of my favorite bands at the end. So instead I do have a send-off that I wanted to give for Top 10 #200 – the Rolling Stones have recorded one of their first brand new songs since 2005 called “Living In A Ghost Town”, so here it is in all its’ glory!

Thanks for sticking with us for 200 editions! Here’s to 200 more! Thanks to my staff and crew! We have just two more editions left this season. And we hope to return live on June 17th when the 9th season starts. See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded At: Top 10 Home Office, Anaheim, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Rolling Stones Appear Courtesy Of: BMG Rights Management
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 13, 2020, 05:00 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country's Rocking, Don't Come Knocking Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country’s Rocking, Don’t Come Knocking Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everyone doing out there? You going crazy stuck at home all the time? Wondering when this is going to end? Yeah me too, I am going fucking crazy being stuck at home all the time. And this is edition #199 too! Man, I hit #200 and I won’t get to celebrate it with the live audience and party that we deserve. Fuck. Stupid fucking coronavirus. But I do want to talk about something that I saw trending on social media the other day. So the kids who were babies in 2008 have now grown up and are discovering their parents’ taste in movies. And kids who are 17 now were 5 years old when the movie Tropic Thunder came out. And of course right now we’re stuck in this nightmare quarantine with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go. Naturally of course, those teenagers are watching movies like Tropic Thunder and Stepbrothers. Which means they’re now just discovering that Robert Downey Jr, had a role in which he used blackface. Of course if you do a Google search now, you will realize that even Downey himself argued that was a potential career killer even after he did the movie. And then you immediately discount the other brilliant performances from Jack Black and Ben Stiller. But I am loving this aspect of the pandemic. See kids? That’s how life used to operate before coronavirus came along! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the latest surrounding everyone’s favorite subject:

Sigh, another week stuck at home. Quarantine can bite me. And social distancing blows too. I can’t wait to get back out and do the full and proper Top 10 we used to do. Anyway that said we actually have other things than the virus that we can talk about this week! For starters in the number one slot this week, is Gun Nut Terrorists (1). After Trump’s suggestion to “Liberate Michigan”, they took that way too literally. And Trump is egging them on! Taking the second slot this week is the economy (2) and while there’s tremendous pressure to reopen and get back to normal, I got news for ya, normal isn’t coming back for a while so we are going to ask - what could go wrong? At slot #3 is Elon Musk (3). Yes, the Tesla and Space X CEO is proving that like a virtual Superman, you can sink whole companies with a single tweet, but he’s the one laughing all the way to the bank. In the fourth slot, the Pentagon confirms something we’ve all been thinking – aliens exist (4)! Quick, someone call Tom DeLonge before it’s too late! aking the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5). And this week we’re going to tackle the question – “where did coronavirus come from?”. There’s many different origin theories but only one is true! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), our resident pastor is fully embracing his Jewish side because we really got to know what’s going on with New York’s Hasidic Jewish community. They seem to be defying orders and Gov. Cuomo isn’t having any of it. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). And if you think the Land O’ Lakes decision to remove the native American from their 100 year old logo, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! In the 8th slot this week, after former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura announced plans to run on the Green Party ticket, we ask – “The Green Party: How Is This Still A Thing?”. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new edition of “I Need A Drink” (9) . This week, Universal proved that we might not need movie theaters in the future, and movie theater chains aren’t having any of it. So yeah pour a drink for the possible end of traditional cinema. Finally this week it’s time for more Stupidest State! This week, it’s Round 2 Week 3 and it’s a tale of possible secession as #1 Virginia takes on #3 Idaho! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]The MAGA Reopen protests
[br] [/font]

Look MAGAs, we get it, OK! We all want to get back to the plans that we had before this nightmare pandemic started too! Shit, I lost money on travel and concerts that I had planned. I lost money on sporting events. We all lost money, and everyone is pissed and wondering what our course of action is going to be until a vaccine is found. But in the meantime don’t go making it worse than it already is, because if you do, the virus wins, and we could be in this a long fucking time. And I’m not at all surprised that these protests that are popping up all over the country are lead by two groups: MAGAs and anti-vaxxers. And both groups can put up or shut up. But when you start brandishing your kill toys, don’t be surprised when the governor extends the stay-at-home order.

Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan issued a rebuke of the armed protesters who gathered inside the state capitol last week in defiance of statewide lockdown orders, saying the demonstrators embodied some of the “worst racism” of the nation’s history.

“Some of the outrageousness of what happened at our capitol depicted some of the worst racism and awful parts of our history in this country,” Whitmer said during a Sunday interview on CNN’s State of the Union.

Last week Donald Trump had said of the protesters: “These are very good people.”

Hundreds of protesters, many not wearing protective face masks and some armed legally with “long guns”, gathered inside the statehouse in Lansing on Thursday as lawmakers debated the Democratic governor’s request to extend her emergency powers to combat the coronavirus pandemic. The tightly packed crowd attempted to enter the floor of the legislative chamber and were held back by a line of state police and capitol staff, according to video footage posted by local journalists. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/03/michigan-gretchen-whitmer-lockdown-protest-racism

Yeah so here’s why we need real leadership. Brandishing giant guns, threatening the governor, and shouting racist slogans is UNACCPETABLE BEHAVIOR IN ANY SOCIETY!!! Do you get that MAGAs? You want to make it another 4 months of misery? Go right on ahead. Keep packing tightly into groups, like in Huntington Beach for instance. God damn motherfucking Huntington Beach.

Thousands of protesters have flocked to Huntington Beach to protest coronavirus lockdowns in the days following a mandatory closure of Orange County beaches. Angered by the forced closures, the protesters ignored social distancing guidelines and demanded the beaches be reopened.

Crowds took to the streets Friday — many without face masks — backing up traffic for at least a mile along Pacific Coast Highway, The Associated Press reports. "Freedom is essential," "Surfing is not a crime" and "Newsom is a kook" read some of their signs, which also called for the reopening of all businesses.

Last weekend, California made national news as an estimated 80,000 people gathered on Newport Beach and Huntington Beach during a heatwave. Orange County was the only county in the area where beaches remained open, as counties north and south had previously shut down public spaces.

"This virus doesn't take the weekends off," Governor Gavin Newsom said Monday. "This virus doesn't go home because it's a beautiful sunny day around our coasts."

On Thursday, Newsom announced the decision to close Orange County beaches. He again stressed that the "vast majority" of Californians have followed the stay-at-home order and social distancing guidelines, but said "specific issues" on some beaches "have raised alarm bells."

Yeah seriously stop being so fucking stupid! Do we need to remind you that there’s a killer virus out there that – as George Carlin put it – is capable of turning your vital organs into liquid shit? And that it kills at a 5% rate? Go ahead and get your surf on while the rest of us stay inside. Yeah it sucks that we can’t go enjoy a nice day on the beach right now, but it’s better than being buried in a box in a ditch on an abandoned island. I can guarantee that. So there’s Michigan and my state. What about Texas? Well…

A 25-year-old man in Texas was arrested and charged with attempted assault on a public servant after a video showed him pushing a park ranger into a lake while the ranger went over rules on social distancing.

Authorities say Ranger Cassidy Stillwell was talking to a group of people about not distancing themselves from each other at Commons Ford Ranch Metro Park in Austin when Brandon Hicks pushed him into the lake.

As Stillwell was falling into the lake, he pulled Hicks in with him.

Hicks fled the scene but was later arrested, officials say.

If convicted, Hicks would be sentenced up to two years in jail.

That’s a perfect example of one person making it worse for the rest of us. And if you want to see a whole bunch of stupid people in one tightly packed space, just look at what happened in Boston this week, this shit is getting real. People are rebelling against the SAH orders and well it’s going to be a fucking disaster when this thing comes back in the fall. Expect things to be that much worse. Beware.

Chants of "USA" rang out Monday at the steps of the Statehouse, where hundreds of people stood shoulder to shoulder protesting the state's stay-at-home advisory and closure of nonessential businesses, measures taken to slow the spread of the new coronavirus.

Many of the protesters weren't wearing masks, instead toting signs and garb supporting President Donald Trump. Large vehicles covered in Trump paraphernalia were at the scene. "Make America Free Again," read one woman's sign.

The Boston Globe reported the protest was organized in part by the people behind last fall's Straight Pride Parade.

"Beyond this COVID, it really is about power," said Mary Smith, who drove about 30 minutes to protest. "Our government really is holding on by a thread."

Some people shouted about tyranny, while others were upset about churches being closed while liquor stores remain open. One person held a "Fire Fauci" sign high above his head, a reference to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Reopening The Country – What Could Go Wrong?
[br] [/font]

There’s one thing I will say about the MAGA crowd – they certainly know how to talk some trash. They also know how to leave giant piles of it for someone else to clean up (see: Top 10 #8-5 ). That said, they’ve been talking massive amounts of shit about reopening the economy after the Coronavirus came in like a wrecking ball and completely ravaged the US economy thanks to social distancing measures. And this that giant pile of trash that they’ve left behind. Since the economy has been opening very slowly, let’s examine the number of ways that this could go wrong. For starters – let’s take a look at Missouri. Would you want to take this risk? Jared Kushner says this country will be rocking by July. Well if this country’s rocking, don’t come knocking.

Missouri Governor Mike Parson has given the okay for concerts to begin again in the state as early as Monday.

On April 27, Governor Parson released his Show Me Strong recovery plan that details plans for gradually reopening the state's economy starting May 4. The plan allows for retail stores to serve customers in-store at limited capacities and for restaurants to re-establish dine-in services while remaining socially distanced.

A first for the country since governments started instating lockdown orders, Missouri will allow residents to attend live events, including concerts. According to the Show Me Strong guidelines, large events and gatherings are no longer banned, but in order to go to a concert, movie theater or stadium "seating shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements."

A representative from Missouri's Department of Health and Senior Services clarified for Billboard that concerts do not have to adhere to the same occupancy limitations as retail businesses, but event organizers are expected to keep concertgoers six feet or more apart to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.

Dude, seriously, this is like being in a 12 step program and skipping steps 2 – 11 and then saying you’re cured of your alcoholism. Look I am an avid concert goer and I love live music as much the next guy and I’ve been devastated at the end of live music until there’s a vaccine. But I’m not taking that risk right now, and that’s just one of many many problems we face right now. Like look at Texas for instance.

The Domain mall in Austin, Texas, is open for business - unlike most of its 100 upscale shops - as the state entered its first work week of eased pandemic restrictions in the hopes of rekindling the economy.

A dozen or so people were strolling about the sprawling open-air shopping center Monday afternoon, with three seated on the patio of a Tex-Mex restaurant. Only one shopper wore a mask, and the loudest noises were from songbirds perched in the live oak trees along the deserted pedestrian thoroughfares.

“I’ve seen one customer today - they didn’t buy anything,” said Taylor Jund, who was keeping watch over an empty Chaser clothing store. “There’s absolutely no one coming around here.”

While protests across the United States demand state governments allow business to reopen and people to get back to work, the vast majority of Americans balk at relaxing stay-at-home orders too quickly, according to Reuters/Ipsos opinion polling.

Texas, Georgia and other southern states are leading the way in letting stay at home orders expire and gradually allowing people go about their business. But the early days of the opening in Texas show that many residents might want to stay home anyway.

Yeah so another thing – would you take that risk going to your favorite bar right now? I wouldn’t with Texas reporting 1,000 new cases a day. Shit, even my home state of California is not immune from stupid people in the process of reopening. Look, we’re all starved to get out and go do something after being dormant for 2 months, I get it! But this guy here is *NOT* doing us a solid.

A San Clemente restaurant reopened over the weekend, in defiance of California’s stay-at-home order.

Nomads Canteen, located at 102 Avenida Cabrillo, was crowded with at least two dozen people who could be seen socializing, eating and drinking in the outside patio area Sunday afternoon, two days after the restaurant reopened its doors to dine-in services.

Owner Jeff Gourley told KTLA he took social distancing measures into account by reducing indoor capacity by about 40%, after removing several tables and placing bar stools several feet apart.

But out on the patio deck, patrons did not appear to be adhering to the state’s social distancing guidelines and were not wearing masks, video showed.

Yeah that’s probably the best protection out there right now. Do I need to go get that Twitter thread from that doctor who said that this thing shreds your insides even after you’ve been taken off the ventilators? Don’t make me. Because that’s where we are heading. And there will be a second wave of this when our guard is let down. But don’t let these assholes get you down either. Just keep calm and don’t go outside for a while.

The availability of a vaccine for the novel coronavirus will likely play a key role in determining when Americans can return to life as usual. Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, on April 30 announced that a vaccine could even be available by January 2021.

Whether a vaccine can end this pandemic successfully, however, depends on more than its effectiveness at providing immunity against the virus, or how quickly it can be produced in mass quantities. Americans also must choose to receive the vaccine.

According to some estimates, 50% to 70% of Americans would need to develop immunity to COVID-19 – either naturally, or via a vaccine – in order to thwart the spread of the virus. If these estimates are correct, that could mean that nearly twice as many Americans would need to elect to receive a COVID-19 vaccine than those who currently opt to be vaccinated against seasonal influenza. Just 37% of American adults did so in 2017-2018, even in the midst of a historically severe flu season.

Making matters more complicated is the possibility that people who hold skeptical views about vaccine safety – sometimes referred to as "anti-vaxxers" – will not opt to receive the coronavirus vaccine. According to some estimates, about one-fifth to two-fifths of Americans express reservations about vaccine safety. If most of these individuals forego receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, they could potentially jeopardize the recovery process.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Elon Musk
[br] [/font]

Elon, Elon, Elon. What are we going to do with you? If you haven’t been following the news surrounding the latest look into the batshit crazy mind of the Tesla CEO and new dad Elon Musk, well, it’s the stuff of complete insanity. While corporations around the world are feeling the hits from COVID-19 – everything from giant financial gurus like Berkshire – Hathaway to your local mom and pop bar, even Tesla is feeling the pinch. Auto makers in general are feeling the heat right now. But Tesla’s current woes aren’t exactly COVID-related. In fact the stocks are tanking because – someone as powerful as Elon can sink a multi-billion dollar company with the stroke of a tweet.

Tesla boss Elon Musk wiped $14bn (£11bn) off the carmaker's value after tweeting its share price was too high.

It also knocked $3bn off Mr Musk's own stake in Tesla as investors promptly bailed out of the company.

"Tesla stock price too high imo," he said in one of several tweets that included a vow to sell his possessions.

In other tweets, he said his girlfriend was mad at him, while another simply read: "Rage, rage against the dying of the light of consciousness."

In 2018, a tweet about Tesla's future on the New York stock market led to regulators fining the company $20m and Mr Musk agreeing to have all further posts on the platform pre-screened by lawyers.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal reported it had asked the billionaire if he was joking about the share price tweet and whether it had been vetted, receiving the reply "No".

Holy shit! He can wipe out billions with a single tweet… he is Super Idiot!!! Dude here’s the thing, if your stock prices are that high, you should revel in it! Seriously, what are you smoking man? If that’s not enough, Elon not only stood by his recent claims, he doubled down on his insanity. There must be some bad covfefe circulating because now he’s going even crazier than usual.

Two of Elon Musk’s Los Angeles mansions appear to be up for sale on property website Zillow for $30 million and $9.5 million.

The listings, which say they’re “for sale by owner,” went live on Sunday just two days after the eccentric billionaire tweeted that he intended to sell almost all of his physical possessions and that he “will own no house.”

Moments before he made those remarks on Friday, Musk tweeted to his 33.6 million followers that Tesla stock was too high, leading to $14 billion being wiped off the company’s market cap. It’s unclear why he did this.

Musk’s two luxury properties are both in the the exclusive Los Angeles neighborhood of Bel Air. One is a five bedroom ranch and the other is a six bedroom estate.

A representative for Musk did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Sure, what’s $30 million in the worst pandemic not seen in a century and the worst economic crash since the Great Depression? I’ll take two of them! Really who is he kidding? And why is he selling his house you might ask? Maybe he knows that since the virus is ruling all of humanity right now that you can’t take it with you? Or does he have some other ulterior motive behind this insane move? Well, he might be joining Tom DeLonge in the quest for UFOs.

A city on Mars? SpaceX has been training this whole time, Elon Musk declared Sunday.

The SpaceX CEO took to Twitter to decry his company's slow rate of progress in sending humans to Mars to set up a city. The firm is currently working on the Starship, a fully-reusable rocket designed to transport humans to Mars and beyond, which Musk noted is step one of three toward reaching this goal.

Musk also explained how the company has been working on step two of three through its existing resupply missions. The second step is orbital refilling, which will enable the Starship to refuel in space and continue its mission to the red planet.

On Sunday, YouTuber Tim Dodd asked Musk about current progress on the firm's research in this area in collaboration with NASA. Musk responded:

SpaceX has a lot of experience berthing & now docking with [the International Space Station], which is very difficult. Orbital refilling should in theory be easier, since Starships dock with themselves & will be uncrewed at first.

Space X!!! Seriously Elon? We’re going to build a city on Mars? Why don’t we build a working city on earth first? And why don’t we cure coronavirus while we’re at it? Shit, it’s been 4 years and Flint still doesn’t have potable water! Let’s fix our problems on Earth first before we go ruin another planet, can we do that? Oh and it must be nice to be Elon, he can say literally anything and still make $700 million.

With Tesla’s stock closing at $761.19 yesterday, Tesla’s stock market value has now achieved a six-month average of $100.2 billion – making the first tranche of the compensation plan eligible to vest, according to an analysis of Refinitiv data via Reuters.

At a set price of $350.02 each per vested share, Musk would clear almost $700 million from the first tranche thanks to Tesla’s high share price.

Last Friday, Musk said that Tesla’s share price was “too high” in a series of tweets – wiping out billions of dollars worth of Tesla’s valuation.

At the time, we speculated that Musk was trying to prove his detractors wrong who have accused him of only pushing the “free America” narrative to get his stock options, which he ended up later confirming it was part of what drove him to call out Tesla’s share price.

The stock crashed almost 10% following his comment, Tesla investors didn’t care for long as the stock was back up to his pre-comment level the next day – triggering his stock option tranche anyway.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Aliens Exist
[br] [/font]

Finally! We get some non virus news to talk about today. Yay!!! Good because I am fucking sick to death of this thing. Not quite that sick, sir! But first can we get some music to accompany this piece?

Yeah someone better call Tom DeLonge because the Pentagon has confirmed what we’ve all long been suspecting – aliens exist! Or do they? Maybe it’s a weather balloon or a black helicopter. You don’t know, man! That’s what they want you to think! OK enough of channeling my inner conspiracy theorist and UFO chaser. But now with everything turning upside down because of what’s out there, that’s not aliens, the Pentagon decide to simply say “fuck it” and confirm what we’ve all been suspecting. Which is that aliens do in fact exist. At least partially. The truth is out there! Oh wait, I’m supposed to say that at the end aren’t I?

The Pentagon has declassified three previously leaked top secret U.S. Navy videos that show "unexplained aerial phenomena" and that some believe could show Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) in an effort "to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real or whether or not there is more to the videos," said a Pentagon spokesperson.

"The aerial phenomena observed in the videos remain characterized as 'unidentified,'" the spokesperson added.

The videos, previously acknowledged by the Navy as being real, captured what Navy fighter pilots saw on their video sensors during training flights in 2004 and 2015. They were published by the New York Times in 2017.

"The Department of Defense has authorized the release of three unclassified Navy videos, one taken in November 2004 and the other two in January 2015, which have been circulating in the public domain after unauthorized releases in 2007 and 2017," said Susan Gough, a Defense Department spokesperson in a statement released Monday.

"After a thorough review, the department has determined that the authorized release of these unclassified videos does not reveal any sensitive capabilities or systems, and does not impinge on any subsequent investigations of military air space incursions by unidentified aerial phenomena," said Gough.

Of course it’s “unidentified”. It’s in the name “unidentified flying objects”! Remember last year when a group of idiots got the idea to storm the Pentagon to “see them aliens” (see: Top 10 #7-6 ? Well there might have been something to this. But I’m sure the last thing that the government wants is a bunch of idiots storming an otherwise classified military base. But this brings the question – have aliens ever visited earth? Well there’s plenty of theories out there.

Between 2002 and 2005, files released by the Ministry of Defence documented three sightings in Gwent - two in Newport, one in Croesyceiliog.

A further 4,400-page document relating to sightings reported between 2007 and November 2009 in Gwent was also released by the MoD, which revealed sightings had been reported in Newport, another in Argoed.

Further later documented sightings refer to two objects seen over Blaenavon in March 2009, and in December 2018, strange lights were spotted in the sky over Tranch, Pontypool.

One of the most memorable encounters in recent years includes the spherical floating object filmed by a South Wales police helicopter whilst officers were flying 1,000ft over the Bristol Channel in 2016.


All manner of explanations have been offered for the strange sightings, from weather balloons and sky lanterns, to mistaking the bright planet Venus as a UFO.

However, while many sightings can be explained away, others cannot and remain a mystery. Bt linking them to extra-terrestrial activity is another question.

So aliens could have visited us, or they could not have but one thing is for absolute certain – it’s not a UFO that visited us. Or did it? Even if we assume that UFOs are real, it’s not going to be like Independence Day or Alien. Or Star Trek. Or any number of movies where humans interact with aliens like it’s no big deal. Is there a science to all of this? Probably. Do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? Hell no.

UFOs are very real, as we have recently seen — but that doesn't mean E.T. has been violating our airspace.

"UFO" refers to any flying object an observer cannot readily identify. And pilots with the U.S. Navy saw fast-moving UFOs repeatedly off the East Coast throughout 2014 and 2015, in one case apparently nearly colliding with one of the mysterious objects, The New York Times reported earlier this week.

Those incidents were reported to the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), whose existence the Times and Politico revealed in December 2017. (Interestingly, those 2017 stories cited Pentagon officials as saying that AATIP had been shut down in 2012.)

Former AATIP head Luis Elizondo, by the way, is involved with a new six-part series called "Unidentified: Inside America's UFO Investigation," which premieres tonight (May 31) on The History Channel.

The Navy pilots said some UFOs reached hypersonic speeds without any detectable exhaust plumes, suggesting the possible involvement of super-advanced propulsion technology. Still, Defense Department officials aren't invoking intelligent aliens as an explanation, according to this week's Times story — and they're right to be measured in this respect, scientists say.

You’d better believe it, man! The boredom is excruciating! But of course when one things of aliens, one can’t help but think of what everyone’s favorite alien hunter Tom DeLonge thinks. Of course you know him as the voice and mastermind of Blink 182, who famously left the band he founded to explore the possibility that life might be out beyond the stars. The truth… is out there!

Last year, the research group announced a new partnership with the U.S. Army to collaborate on future UFO research which led to the release of videos of “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

They released three videos in December 2017 and March 2018 which the U.S. Navy confirmed to The Black Vault in September 2019 that they considered the “phenomena contained/depicted in those videos as unidentified.”

DeLonge later said in a Rolling Stone interview that he was surprised the Navy took his videos seriously and identified the objects as “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

In a report released by CNN earlier in the week, the Pentagon officially re-released the videos previously unveiled by DeLonge’s research group. You can see them for yourself below.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Origins Of Coronavirus
[br] [/font]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Coronavirus has been dominating the headlines. But with the virus, come many questions and one of the biggest is – where did it come from? There’s many differing theories on the origins of the virus – some say it originated in a lab. Others say that it originated in bats. Then there’s some conspiracy theories who say that the virus was man made and that it was a hoax. And then there’s the origin theory that the President is parroting that says that the virus originated in a lab as a biological weapon. One thing is for absolute certain – we know it’s not that. But where did the virus come from? Let’s take a look at the differing theories out there.

You could be forgiven for wondering how a disease as fast-moving and deadly as COVID-19 could just appear naturally, out of nowhere, seemingly overnight. President Trump expressed doubt, saying that “a lot of people” were looking at the possibility that a Chinese lab was responsible for the COVID-19 pandemic. Earlier that week, Fox News ran a story in which unnamed sources suggested that the COVID-19 outbreak originated in a Wuhan laboratory — the Wuhan Institute of Virology, which studies coronaviruses with a number of international collaborators. The New York Times reported that spy agencies are being pressured to find evidence blaming the lab, and at the end of April, the National Institutes of Health withdrew funding from a research consortium that had collaborated with the lab. As recently as this weekend, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, despite saying there was no reason to disbelieve the intelligence community’s assessment that the virus was neither manmade nor genetically modified, claimed there was “enormous evidence” connecting the virus to the WIV.

But the truth is almost certainly not that salacious. Robert Garry, a professor of microbiology and immunology at the Tulane University School of Medicine, said this dynamic is familiar. “Every time there’s an outbreak, people say, oh, there’s a lab close by.” He should know: In 2014, during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa, conspiracy theorists alleged his team’s lab in Sierra Leone, not far from the origin of the outbreak, was a George Soros-funded bioweapons site.

According to a growing body of research, SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) is almost certainly a naturally occurring virus that initially circulated in bats then spilled into humans. But that hasn’t stopped some from trying to find a more sinister origin. “It seems like such an extreme event that people are looking for an extraordinary explanation for it,” said Stephen Goldstein, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Utah who studies coronaviruses. No single piece of evidence has yet confirmed the virus’ origin. But according to scientists, the evidence that does exist paints a consistent picture of a wild virus, not one that sprang from a lab.

That is most definitely how the virus did not originate. But while multiple theories out there have disputes about where coronavirus came from, it did not come from where we think it did, but it has all the possibilities of starting the next World War. So far all the blame is being placed on China where they did not lock down when they first found out about it, and just made it that much worse.

The European Union has called for a worldwide investigation into the origins and spread of Covid-19 in a move its foreign policy chief described as “standing aside from the battlefield between China and the US”.

The EU said the bloc and its 27 member states would co-sponsor a draft resolution calling for an “independent review” into the novel coronavirus that causes the disease when the World Health Assembly convenes for a virtual meeting on May 18.

The meeting of the World Health Organisation’s decision-making body is shaping up as a test of China’s diplomatic standing in the wake of the pandemic.

In addition to calls for an independent investigation, nations such as the US are also pushing to reinstate Taiwan – which Beijing views as a renegade province – as an observer to the assembly.

China has so far not committed to an international probe, saying it would be a “blame game” that targets Beijing, even though China has repeatedly pledged support for the WHO.

We can’t all be like Mr. Burns though. And of course China is to blame for not alerting the world to the severity of the disease that was coming our way, but who knew what would happen? But another thing is for certain – there’s nothing to trust about what Trump’s Secretary Of State, Mike Pompeo has to say about this. In fact there’s really no evidence of this fact, just a bunch of baseless theories that they pulled out of their ass.

U.S. Secretary of State Michael Pompeo said “enormous evidence” shows the novel coronavirus outbreak began in a laboratory in Wuhan, China, and that Beijing has refused to give international scientists access to learn what happened.

“I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan,” Pompeo said on ABC’s “This Week,” broadcast Sunday. “These are not the first times that we’ve had a world exposed to viruses as a result of failures in a Chinese lab.”

Pompeo stopped short of saying the virus was human-made, noting that he agreed with a report by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence that ruled out genetic modification or it having been human-made.

The virus’s origin has become a flash point in the pandemic and ratcheted up tensions between the U.S. and China. President Donald Trump has escalated efforts to attach blame to China as U.S. pandemic deaths pass 66,000.

That’s definitely not how the Coronavirus originated. However, it’s a good thing that there are other countries in the world that have their own intelligence agencies besides the US and China. Because while the US wants retaliation against China and Chinese hostility is at an all time high not seen since 1989, along comes Australia to shoot down Trump’s claims that the virus was made in a lab. And we all could have seen this one coming.

Despite Trump's comment Thursday that he has seen information that gives him high confidence that the outbreak was the result of an accidental release from a Wuhan laboratory, U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News that they have made no such assessment. There is no "smoking gun" evidence pointing them in that direction, they say, and there may never be.

Intelligence officials stand by the public statement put out Thursday by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which said that the intelligence community has concluded that the virus was not man-made but that it had reached no conclusion about whether it emerged accidentally from a lab or was transmitted to humans through animals.

NBC News reported last week that the White House has tasked the intelligence community with investigating that and other questions about the origin of the virus, the extent to which China covered it up and whether the World Health Organization was complicit in the cover-up. Some critics have raised the concern that the White House is pushing the intelligence agencies to validate a conclusion that helps it politically, by distracting attention from the question of whether it acted soon enough. China and the WHO deny that they were less than forthcoming, and China says the virus couldn't have come from one of its labs.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Sunday on ABC that "there is enormous evidence ... I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan." But he declined to detail the evidence, as did Trump when he was asked about it.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

Shabbat shalom, my fair congregation! You know on this program we talk a lot about the Christian right and make fun of their antics on this program and rightfully so! But this week, we have to talk about what went down in New York City. Now do we necessarily agree with Gov. Cuomo’s actions here? No. We believe in the right to free expression, even in the worst pandemic not seen in over a century. And the very sad thing is that it’s my fellow zealots, who see the virus as an attack on their personal freedoms, that are going to keep this thing going. See, guys, there’s nobody attacking your rights, and the virus has put us all on the same page until there’s a way to deal with it. So in the meantime definitely don’t do something like this. Because that’s not what the good LAWRD would want!

The Anti-Defamation League and a New York City councilman are calling out Mayor Bill de Blasio after he condemned a large funeral gathering, saying he targeted the entire Jewish community when only one group of people broke the rules.

De Blasio said the gathering for a rabbi's funeral Tuesday in Williamsburg, New York, was "absolutely unacceptable" and noted it won't be tolerated.

"Something absolutely unacceptable happened in Williamsburg tonite: a large funeral gathering in the middle of this pandemic," de Blasio tweeted. "When I heard, I went there myself to ensure the crowd was dispersed. And what I saw WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed," de Blasio said in another tweet. "I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period."

But let’s not drink to this just yet. Here’s the thing, Rabbis, and no matter what your religious beliefs happen to be – this virus doesn’t care what your religion is. It doesn’t care what your status is or your economic level. Instead it targets all of us. And until there’s a cure, we’re all in the same boat. You know last week, we talked about how Christians think it is their GAWD given right to gather in large groups against what the CDC says. Well, here’s where we are in disagreement.

A spokeswoman for Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) said the mayor himself was on the scene with Police Commissioner Dermot Shea breaking up the crowd of mourners.

De Blasio spokeswoman Freddi Goldstein retweeted photos of Mertz's funeral on Tuesday night, writing, “I empathisize [sic] with the desire to mourn those we’ve lost, but this is absolutely unacceptable.”

The mayor tweeted that such gatherings "WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed. I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period," he wrote.

"We have lost so many these last two months + I understand the instinct to gather to mourn. But large gatherings will only lead to more deaths + more families in mourning. We will not allow this. I have instructed the NYPD to have one standard for this whole city: zero tolerance," he added.

Yes, to life! Because we still want to be able to maintain ours! I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS, er, ABRAHAM would want! And look the long we continue to go out in groups, the worse this thing gets. I want to get back to my congregation and I’m sure you all would too! But no one is singling out anybody. We’re all on the same page here. New York is the worst city in America for this thing and it’s pretty understandable why DeBlasio would want to break up any large gathering!

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is being accused of unfairly singling out the Hasidic Jewish community, in enforcing COVID-19 restrictions.

He personally called on police to disperse hundreds of mourners, who gathered for a rabbi's funeral, defying social distancing rules.

He was furious the gathering took place at all, and mentioned the Jewish community by name in a tweet, saying the time for warnings has passed and arrests would be made of those who gather in large groups.

Some called on the mayor to apologize, resign, or called him anti-Jewish. Saying it was unfair for him to single out all Jews when it was just some from the Hasidic Orthodox community who gathered for the funeral. But the issue divided New York: Others expressed support for the mayor, and defended him calling out the funeral gathering.

On Wednesday, the mayor said he was not trying to single out the Jewish community, but did not back down from his criticism.

See? Even Walter agrees with me! You all should too. If Saturday is supposed to be the day of rest for my Hebrew brothers and sisters, then you should absolutely abide by it! Because what’s a religion without a day of rest? But no one is getting any rest in the day and age of the Great Pandemic, for this virus is the unholy DEVIL himself! But you just got to suck it up and roll with it. We all need you to!

It started with a funeral that got out of hand. It ended Wednesday with some of New York City’s Jews at odds with the mayor over his criticisms of the Orthodox community as it struggles to deal with the coronavirus.

The funeral was for Rabbi Chaim Mertz, a revered Hasidic Orthodox leader whose death was reportedly linked to the coronavirus. The congregation that was hosting the gathering said Wednesday a funeral appropriate to the times was planned, with mourners wearing masks and saying their farewells from a distance.

Instead, thousands gathered Tuesday night at the Kahal Tolath Yakov synagogue in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg area. De Blasio personally joined in the dispersal of the crowd, and then tweeted that “my message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed.”

He told reporters Wednesday that he was sorry “if in my passion and in my emotion” he had caused offense, but described “no regrets” about calling out the Hasidic funeral.

So next time guys, just remember that next time, we’re all in the same boat no matter what religion you belong to. We should have a common goal of eliminating the enemy, and that enemy is a virus! Temple has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Land O Lakes Label Controversy
[br] [/font]

Hey woke millennials, if you think that the Land O Lakes company removing the Native American woman from their label is racist, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! So in non virus news we are arguing over this in 2020. It’s really the latest incarnation of the Simpsons debate surrounding Apu. The question remains – is it racism? Or is it just a gross stereotype? Or is it a combination of both? And really in this day and age, is arguing over packaging what we should be contemplating right now? I personally think I’d be more concerned about something like a butter shortage.

America’s best-selling butter trended on Twitter Sunday -- but not because of a shortage.

Land O’Lakes, the brand that’s dominated shelves since 1921, announced in February it has started removing the iconic Native American woman “Mia” from its products and adding the phrase “Farmer-Owned.”

The Minnesota-based dairy company drew praise from the state’s lieutenant governor earlier this month, echoing the American Psychological Association’s finding that such mascots appear to have “a negative impact on the self-esteem of American Indian children.”

News of the removal gained traction on the social media Sunday after CNN anchor Jake Tapper tweeted an April 17 story from his network. It also drew criticism, with some responses defending the icon as a “beautiful image,” and suggesting that Quaker Oats Co.’s “Aunt Jemima” could be next to be targeted.

Robert DesJarlait, the son of the artist who remade Mia in the mid-1950s, said while the image had turned into a stereotype for some, others saw it as a source of pride.

But is it really? Or is it just Apu 2.0? Yeah sure Native Americans have been through some of the worst that humanity has to offer, and they currently do not have the representation they deserve. Most of it is done through old fashioned stereotypes. However, on the list of things to worry about, the label on the Land O Lakes box currently ranks about a 1 out of 100. Even the descendant of the people who drew the label are like “WTF”.

She was never a stereotype.

That was my thought earlier this month when I heard that “Mia,” as the Land O’Lakes Native American maiden was known, had been taken off the butter box. She was gone, vanished, missing. I knew Mia had devolved into a stereotype in many people’s minds. But it was the stereotype some saw that bothered me.

North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), for instance, told the Pioneer Press in St. Paul, Minn., that the Land O’Lakes image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.” Others similarly welcomed the company’s removal of the “butter maiden” as long overdue.

How did Mia go from being a demure Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?

Yeah probably. So what’s the meltdown really about? Is it being racist or is it showing pride for your heritage? There’s plenty of solid arguments for both the former and the latter. Here’s the thing – this logo has been around for 100 years. That’s an entire century. And why all of a sudden? Well people and things do change with the times.

Just ahead of its 100th anniversary, Land O’Lakes has retired Mia, the indigenous woman who once featured prominently in its iconic logo, from all packaging. Many of the dairy company’s popular butters, creams, cheeses and other products will now display a serene portrait of a tree-fringed lake under the Land O’Lakes name, which will appear adorned with the phrase “farmer-owned.” The company expects to complete the phaseout by the end of 2020.

In a company statement released earlier this year, Land O’Lakes president and CEO Beth Ford described the move as realigning company packaging to reflect “the foundation and heart of our company culture—and nothing does that better than our farmer-owners whose milk is used to produce Land O’Lakes’ dairy products.”

Company representatives have shared similar declarations since February, when the new logo was first unveiled, in an apparent effort to draw publicity to Land O’Lakes’ new farming-focused branding. But as Kayla Ruble reports for NBC News’ Today, Mia’s disappearance has continued to command most of the attention around the switch.

Arriving on the heels of universities, sports teams and other businesses making comparable moves to drop indigenous images, symbols and titles from their logos, the Land O’Lakes change has been noted by some as necessary and perhaps long overdue.

Again I say - yeah probably. But that raises yet another question – why? Land O’ Lakes isn’t the only company who’s dropped a logo with a Native American character or foreign characters. There’s the Washington Redskins, who have had endless debates about their name. There’s the Cleveland Indians, also the subject of endless debate. There’s also the famous debate surrounding Apu from the Simpsons, but where does this end? Only one way to find out.

DesJarlait cited comments from North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), who told the Pioneer Press that the image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.”

“Yes, it’s a good thing for the company to remove the image. … But we can’t stop there,” Buffalo — a registered member of the Mandan, Hidatsa and Arikara Nation — continued. “We as a whole need to keep pushing forward to address the underlying issues that directly impact an entire population that survived genocide.”

DesJarlait added that others had also welcomed removing Mia, the “butter maiden,” from the company’s packaging.

But, he wondered, “How did Mia go from being a demur Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?”

According to the Pioneer Press, Land O’Lakes President and CEO Beth Ford said the purpose of the label change was to acknowledge the Minnesota-based company’s farmer-owners “whose milk is used to produce Land O’ Lakes products as it prepared to turn 100 years old.”

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Third Party Candidates: How Is This Still A Thing
[br] [/font]

It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Third Party Candidates: How Are They Still A Thing? There’s no mistake that Donald J. Trump is the most polarizing president in United States history. The people who love him, really, really love him. And the people who hate him, really, really hate him. But then again, there’s people who are searching for a third alternative to the leader of the free world. And watch for numerous attempts to unseat Trump in the fight for America in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. Which brings us to the Green Party. How is this still a thing? Well, the Green Party has certainly seen its’ share of detractors in previous elections, such as Ralph Nader and Jill Stein. The latest candidate to throw his hat in the ring is a guy who is very familiar with throwing hats into rings. Jesse Ventura, the former Minnesota governor and current conspiracy theorist is running to unseat Trump.

Just days after publicly musing about a presidential run, a former Minnesota governor has taken another step toward tossing his hat in the ring.

On Saturday, the Green Party of Minnesota announced its newest member: none other than Jesse Ventura.

The informal ceremony appears to have taken place in a pubic park in White Bear Lake.

It comes nearly a week after Ventura posted a tweet saying that if he were to run for president, "the GREEN party would be my first choice."

This weekend, Ventura retweeted a post that hinted at a coming White House run with the hashtag #Ventura2020.

Third parties in America are the ultimate third wheel. People know they exist, but nobody wants them or cares about them to seek them out. And those that do seek them out almost always get into trouble as a result. If Jesse Ventura isn’t your thing, you might want to consider the libertarian alternative – Michigan lawyer Justin Amash. Yes, he is running too, possibly to do some damage to Trump but we all know it will come back to bite Biden.

When I got on the phone with Rep. Justin Amash (I-MI) the day after he announced the launch of an exploratory committee for a potential run for the White House, my first question was, “Why are you doing this?”

The question didn’t come as a surprise to Amash, who entered Congress in 2010 as a strident Tea Party fiscal conservative only to leave the GOP last year before becoming the lone House conservative lawmaker to vote to impeach President Donald Trump. Now, five months later — and staring down an increasingly impossible reelection bid — he’s considering a third-party presidential run as a libertarian.

Amash, 40, told me he’s running because he believes he’s the best person for the job. “I think it’s important that we have someone who’s honest, who’s practical, who will have humility about the entire legislative process and the entire process for government and will allow us to get back to a place where we have a government that actually represents the people.”

Amash’s decision didn’t come as a total surprise — after all, he tweeted on April 15 that he was considering a presidential run. But the reactions to his announcement came fast and furious, particularly from Never Trump conservatives concerned he could pull votes away from Joe Biden and help incumbent Donald Trump win reelection.

Yes, in addition to having a third wheel, we might possibly have a fourth. But while the Green Party has no credibility in America – they are often seen as a joke, there might actually be some clout to the Justin Amash candidacy. Unlike some candidates, Amash knows people in Washington and has seen the government in action. But ever since George Wallace way back when, 3rd party candidates have always been a bit of a mixed bag.

The 2020 presidential election just got its first notable third-party challenger. Last Tuesday, Michigan Rep. Justin Amash, who left the Republican Party nine months ago and became an independent, announced he would run for president as a Libertarian. And while we won’t know whether Amash wins his new party’s nomination until later this month, here’s what we do know about third-party candidacies more broadly and what that could mean for President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden in the general election.

First, it’s unlikely Amash wins much of the vote in November. Take what happened in 2016. Third-party candidates won 6 percent of the vote, which was the largest share of the vote since Ross Perot ran for a second time in 1996, but it was still just 6 percent. As you can see in the chart below, third-party candidates don’t tend to win that much support. Our system just isn’t set up for successful third-party presidential bids.

However, that doesn’t mean Amash (or other third-party contenders) won’t matter in November. In this era of close elections, small shifts in the margins can matter a great deal to the final result, and third-party contenders can play a part in that. Amash’s candidacy, in particular, could affect the margins in some key battleground states, including his home state of Michigan, which was pivotal to Trump’s victory four years ago. Consider what happened in 2016: In 11 states, Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson’s raw vote total exceeded the vote margin separating Trump and Hillary Clinton. Now, that doesn’t mean Johnson necessarily changed who won in each of those states, but he and other third-party contenders (like Jill Stein of the Green Party) may have helped shape the outcome, especially in the three states that proved decisive in the Electoral College: Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

That is a good point Homer. But if we want to make sure that Biden wins in November and defeats Trump, there’s one obstacle that’s blocking everyone’s way: the coronavirus. Ever since the virus came and turned life upside down as we know it, it has put a dent in everyone’s plans, and third party candidates are not immune from the effects of this.

The pandemic may have robbed Donald Trump of a growing economy. It may have trapped Joe Biden in his basement. But it may yet do something even worse to the Libertarian and Green party nominees: Keep them off the ballot in many of this year’s key states.

In 2016, the Libertarian Party was on the general election ballot in all 50 states; this year, it has secured ballot access in just 35. Similarly, the Green Party—which in 2016 had its best election ever by making the ballot in 44 states, with a further three states granting the party’s candidate official write-in status—has qualified for the November ballot in only 22 states.

Several of the elusive ballot lines are in states that in 2016 were either narrowly won or flipped from red-to-blue. At present, neither the Libertarian Party nor the Green Party has qualified for the ballot in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Iowa or Minnesota. Additionally, the Green Party has not secured a place on the ballot in Arizona, Georgia or Nevada, and the Libertarian Party is missing from Maine.

To get on the ballot in the remaining states, they need to collect and submit petition signatures. And in a normal year, they would be on track to do just that. But because of the deadly coronavirus—and the social distancing and stay-at-home orders to minimize its spread—after March 6, “petitioning was over in the United States,” as Libertarian Party executive director Daniel Fishman told me.

So even just making it to the ballot might be an impossibility for a lot of candidates considering taking a dent out of Biden or Trump, thanks to a certain virus. That is enough to make you ask – Third Party Candidates In The US:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: The End Of Cinema?
[br] [/font]

I don’t know about you guys but I could really use a drink!

Of course you guys know that when the news gets too dark, the only solution is to kick back with a glass of your favorite beverage and talk about anything that’s not politics. But this week, there’s a feud brewing and one of my favorite past times might be going away forever. So tell me virtual bartender, how might I celebrate the end of one of my favorite past times? With 2 buck chuck? No thanks, I will stick to my Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Folks, I don’t need to tell you that we are bored, tired, and pissed off because of our freedoms being restricted thanks to coronavirus. And now there’s feud brewing over one of my favorite past times – going to the movies. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Universal decided to bypass the middle man and release Trolls: World Tour straight to video, and well, it did some gangbusters business.

“Trolls World Tour” nabbed nearly $100 million in on-demand sales for NBCUniversal (CMCSA) during its first three weeks, and the surprise digital success story is now sparking a feud between U.S. movie theater chain AMC (AMC) and the prominent Hollywood studio.

Universal, which originally marketed the “Trolls” sequel as a box office film, made the decision to bypass its theatrical release due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Hollywood giant opted to offer the film as a premium video-on-demand (PVOD) rental at $20 a pop. For comparison, the original “Trolls” brought in $116 million in its first three weeks at the 2016 box office.

The move served as the first true test of whether or not a movie needed the theater in order to be successful. And NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell told "The Wall Street Journal" that the entertainment giant now plans to release future films directly on-demand, in addition to theaters.

“The results for ‘Trolls World Tour’ have exceeded our expectations and demonstrated the viability of PVOD,” Shell said. “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies on both formats.”

Remember movie theaters, boys and girls? Well they were these buildings where you would pay money and they would show you a movie on a really big screen with a really awesome sound system. And they often had things like bars and restaurants attached to them to enhance the experience. But now there’s possibility that they might go away. We hope not.

Godzilla vs. King Kong. Ali vs. Frazier. Bird vs. Magic. Belichick’s Patriots vs. everyone.

These legendary battles gained a new competitor as Universal Pictures and AMC Theaters went head-to-head over...Trolls World Tour?! Why in the world is the largest theater chain in the U.S. picking a fight with a global corporation over an animated musical film based on toys you had as a child? And what does it mean for the future of the theatrical movie-going experience? The answers to these questions are complicated, but essentially boil down to the tension around how we are used to seeing movies versus how we’ve grown accustomed to seeing them in the past decade. It’s a long-simmering cold war that finally exploded—quite publicly—this week.

The typical relationship between cinema chains and film distributors has worked as such: Film studios (like Universal) lease out a movie to a theater in exchange for a portion of its ticket sales. It’s a symbiotic relationship, as theaters need movies to show and studios need the massive distribution abilities of the screens to ensure its movies are seen by large portions of people. As part of this agreement, theater chains are typically granted an exclusive 90-day period—known as windowing—wherein they receive the exclusive rights to show a film. The two groups then split the money the movie makes during the course of its run. However, this model has been challenged in recent years by streaming services—most notably Netflix—as those platforms have proven a studio can release content to a hungry audience and have it seen by a large number of people immediately.

As the coronavirus has ravaged Hollywood, cinemas and studios alike are left in a compromising position. With theaters closed, there’s not a traditional option for studios to showcase their product. This tension is why we’ve seen a number of studios, looking to recoup however possible, embrace releasing movies on premium video-on-demand (PVOD) platforms like Apple, Amazon, and so forth. The initial wave of movies to hit PVOD—The Invisible Man, The Hunt, The Way Back, and Onward, among others — were all films already released to theaters prior to Rona shutting everything down. Crucially, these movies moving to PVOD after their release still provided an element of windowing, still adhering to the standard relationship between theaters and distributors.

So Trolls trolled movie theaters. Just like the name implies. But does that mean that movie theaters are going away permanently? Well they are at least for the duration of this nightmare pandemic that we are in. We want to go out, we want movies back the way they were. I quite frankly can’t wait for phase 4 of the MCU to start. But will we watch it on our flat screens or will we watch it in the traditional formats?

“Trolls World Tour” nabbed nearly $100 million in on-demand sales for NBCUniversal (CMCSA) during its first three weeks, and the surprise digital success story is now sparking a feud between U.S. movie theater chain AMC (AMC) and the prominent Hollywood studio.

Universal, which originally marketed the “Trolls” sequel as a box office film, made the decision to bypass its theatrical release due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Hollywood giant opted to offer the film as a premium video-on-demand (PVOD) rental at $20 a pop. For comparison, the original “Trolls” brought in $116 million in its first three weeks at the 2016 box office.

The move served as the first true test of whether or not a movie needed the theater in order to be successful. And NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell told "The Wall Street Journal" that the entertainment giant now plans to release future films directly on-demand, in addition to theaters.

“The results for ‘Trolls World Tour’ have exceeded our expectations and demonstrated the viability of PVOD,” Shell said. “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies on both formats.”

Well that’s reassuring. It’s good to know that there’s thin-skinned bullies in charge of every aspect of our lives. And when you employ a business of over 10,000 that is teetering on the edge of the cliff financially because you need physical people to show up at your complexes, you’re doing the best job you can to actually push it over the cliff. That’s what you need. That’s what is needed to save a business in these trying times.

Coronavirus cases are rising in about half of US states, and so naturally, some Republican governors are ready to declare victory. Georgia’s Brian Kemp is leading the charge, and this upcoming Monday the Peach State will reopen its gyms, bowling alleys, massage parlors, and movie theaters. But the fact that they can open doesn’t mean they will, and today AMC Theatres announced it won’t unshut any of its 6,300+ cinemas until Hollywood studios begin releasing new blockbuster movies.

Via The Hollywood Reporter, AMC released a statement detailing their plans for the next few months. After the usual caveats about “the health and safety of our guests,” the world’s largest movie theater chain suggested that simply lifting stay-at-home orders won’t be enough to put butts into seats. Instead, they need film titles “that get people truly excited.”

“To be able to open, we also need a line of sight into a regular schedule of new theatrical blockbusters that get people truly excited about returning to their favorite movie theaters. Those blockbusters are scheduled to return this summer, beginning with Warner Brothers’ Tenet and Disney’s Mulan, with many more major titles scheduled immediately thereafter.”

Christopher Nolan’s Tenet drops on July 17th, and Mulan rides into battle on July 24th.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3: Batshit Conference Championship
[br] [/font]

Welcome back to Stupidest State 2020! Yes we’re all still reeling and feeling the pinch from the virus, but we are getting some sweet action as the Layover League finals are set! #2 Florida is still red hot as it looks to upend #1 Alabama and head to the championship this year! As we know, Alabama last year stunned Florida and went on to win the title. This year, Florida is out for revenge. But who will they be playing? This time we’re heading to the Flyover League as the Batshit Conference championship pits #1 Virginia against #3 Idaho! And what do these two states have in common? Well, they look to take away counties from their neighboring states because – crazy gun nuts don’t like being ruled by a democratic governor! We’re live in San Jose at the SAP Center, the home of the Sharks for more action action action!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Championship: Virginia Vs Idaho[/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

Well last time Virginia hung on to defeat their neighboring rivals in Kentucky. And Virginia may be for lovers and they do have a democratic governor, but they are also home to some of the craziest gun nuts in the country and some good old fashioned white supremacy that dates back to the 1800s. But lately under the guise of Democratic governor Ralph Northram – a favorite punching bag of Trump and Fox News, gun nuts have been getting extremely restless. And thanks to help from a friend of Trump, Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr, they might get their wish!

Thousands of Virginia residents have shown up at meetings across the state to try to block Democrats from enacting new gun laws, with some gun rights supporters openly discussing violent resistance and civil war.

The backlash to gun control in Virginia is being fueled by conspiracy theories and misinformation, and some observers worry that the escalating rhetoric may spark violence.

When Democrats won control of Virginia’s state government for the first time in 26 years in November 2019, they pledged to pass a series of standard gun control laws, including universal background checks and bans on military-style “assault weapons” and high-capacity ammunition magazines. The agenda was no surprise: state Democrats had run for office on a platform of gun violence prevention, backed by funding from national gun control groups.

Whew, that may be a bit extreme, sir. But no matter what state these counties may choose to call home, one thing is for certain – these people are the same group of assholes no matter what state you choose to belong to! And no matter what state you join, it doesn’t increase your representation in Congress and it just makes you look stupid. So what would make this second amendment heaven?

A loosely connected band of Western Virginians is urging their home localities to consider undertaking an unusual measure to buffer themselves from potential laws and policies they argue will further marginalize the Commonwealth’s conservative regions.

They say the localities should revisit an idea that several of them passed on more than 150 years ago: Join West Virginia, a state that itself was formed after a collective of Virginia counties during the Civil War realized that they didn’t exactly share the same values as the rest of the Old Dominion.

The move, dubbed Vexit by its supporters, appears to have some early support from some West Virginia lawmakers, who last month introduced a resolution that would invite certain Virginia counties and cities to be admitted to the Mountain State.

Joseph McClung, a more than 50-year resident of Giles County, is a proponent of the idea. This past week, the 70-year-old Norfolk Southern retiree went before Giles and Tazewell counties’ boards of supervisors to make the plea.

Yeah remember the Civil War? It was that thing that your great grandparents fought and died for over 150 years ago? Yeah that thing. But at least there’s slightly cooler heads in Virginia as they are rejecting their offers to join West Virginia and they’re perfectly fine under democratic rule. So yeah suck it gun nuts, but you’re definitely on the losing end of this battle.

Like many of his neighbors in this small, rural community in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, Eston Foster believes in the right to bear arms. He grew up with guns, both for recreation and protection, and is a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment.

He wasn’t very happy, then, when Democrats won control of the Virginia House and Senate in November for the first time in more than 20 years. Especially since they promised to pass gun control measures that included a ban on assault weapons.

While he hesitates to call himself a Republican, the 23-year-old admits to being conservative. He supported his home county declaring itself a Second Amendment “sanctuary” with more than 100 other towns, cities and counties in Virginia. And he’s angry his state Senate recently passed a “red flag” law that would allow authorities to temporarily take away firearms from someone deemed dangerous to themselves or others.

Mr. Foster also took issue with Gov. Ralph Northam declaring a state of emergency ahead of a pro-gun rally in Richmond last month that proceeded without violence.

[font size="4"]Idaho [/font]

The Gem State is known for potatoes. It’s also known for that mesmerizing and certainly hypnotic blue field that is the center of every Idaho State game. But just like Virginia, Idaho is also at the center of a gun-fueled battle for control of the state. But unlike Virginia, there’s a much bigger slice of the pie that’s at stake if the gun nuts get their way. Of course the virus has put a slow down on this but don’t think that it couldn’t happen.

Frustrated by liberal policies, some Oregon residents petitioned to leave the state – by moving the border with Idaho westward.

The movement secured initial approval from two counties and aims to get enough signatures to put the proposal on ballots in November, according to the group called Greater Idaho.

If the group succeeds, voters in southeast Oregon may see a question on whether their county should become part of Idaho by redrawing the border.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners, said in a news release. “We tried voting those legislators out, but rural Oregon is outnumbered and our voices are now ignored. This is our last resort.”

That is a good point sir! Although unlike Virginia we actually have a chance that Idaho could join Oregon counties because – wait for it – Idaho has a conservative Trumpster governor! Yes, the governor of Idaho is actively supporting the gun nuts! This is a massive bombshell in this whole thing because it could really change up things if Oregon were to lose half the state.

On Tuesday, Umatilla County—located in northeastern Oregon—joined Southern Oregon counties Josephine and Douglas to become the third rural Oregon county to pass a petition asking voters if they would like to move their county to Idaho, according to the group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho, a political nonprofit organization.

The petition will need to gather at least 1,477 valid signatures in order for it to appear as a measure on the November ballot for Umatilla County. If voters pass the measure, it would compel county commissioners to participate in future negotiations regarding Umatilla County’s admittance to Idaho, according to the East Oregonian.

However, the final decision to redraw state borders would have to be approved by both the Oregon and

“They’re looking at Idaho fondly because of our regulatory atmosphere, our values,” Little told Fox News. “What they’re interested [in] is they would like to have a little more autonomy, a little more control, a little more freedom and I can understand that.”

Yeah remember those idiots from the George Bush era? I certainly do! These morons are the same no matter where you go. They refuse to listen to anyone else’s opinions and are in it for themselves. It’s the “I’ve got mine, fuck you” crowd. But in fact the Idaho movement to get Oregon to join them actually might have more clout than the Virginia movement. But don’t usurp my state as part of it!

Some residents in Oregon are fed up with living under Democratic control of their state government and have launched a ballot initiative campaign to join Republican-led Idaho.

The movement, known as “Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho,” is hoping to expand the borders of the Gem State through the inclusion of more than a dozen bordering rural counties now in Oregon.

Mike McCarter, chief petitioner of the secession effort, has noted though that the movement is in its infancy and would take years to accomplish, even if successful. The process for counties to leave Oregon include passing a ballot initiative, getting approval from the state legislature — currently controlled by Democrats — and then also getting Idaho to pass legislation approving new counties into the state. McCarter said the movement ultimately is about signaling the unhappiness rural conservatives in Oregon have with the state legislature.

McCarter has gotten the “green light” in at least three Oregon counties — Josephine, Douglas and Umatilla — that would start the first step in the secession process, which would be collecting signatures to eventually end up on the November 2 ballot.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners of the movement, wrote on the website for the Greater Idaho movement.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Oh my god ladies and gentlemen we have an upset brewing! Right now Idaho has the lead after 15 unanswered points… they have the ball, it’s over!! Idaho wins by 5! Final score – 79 – 74! Idaho sinks Virginia – once favored, now they will go home! They are celebrating and they move on to the Final Four! Cut the net guys you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the final round of Week 2! It’s the last but certainly not last as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against underdog #4 Nebraska! We are in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center! Getting exciting, folks!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Top 10 Home Office, Anaheim, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 6, 2020, 05:00 PM (3 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Think you’re going stir crazy from the coronavirus lockdown? Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones can probably top whatever disturbing thoughts you might be having.

He said on his far-right radio talk show Friday that he’s willing to go full cannibal.

If COVID-19 shutdowns continue, he said, he has “extrapolated this out” and may have to resort to drastic and disgusting methods of survival.

“I’ll admit it. I will eat my neighbors,” Jones said, predicting a dystopian future plagued by food shortages.

“I won’t have to for a few years ’cause I got food and stuff ― but I’m literally looking at my neighbors now and going, ’I’m ready to hang ’em up and gut ’em and skin ’em. My daughters aren’t starving to death. I will eat my neighbors. ... I will.”

And there you have it folks, Alex Jones officially admits that he would eat some ass. Perhaps maybe with some fava beans and a nice chilled Chianti. Well I mean come on, if you're going to to cannibal, you might as well go full Hannibal Lecter!

**Canned audience laughter and applause**

This week the Top 10 is yet another home show and jam packed! The MAGA protests get more insane, we find out what could go wrong if we reopen too soon, we play a game of what is Elon Musk smoking, aliens might possibly exist, we probe the Land O Lakes label controversy, and we ask how the Green Party is still a thing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, after there are many debates on the origins of coronavirus, there's only one true theory and we will explore that in detail! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to take a break from making fun of the Christian right and embrace his Jewish side, because what is going on with them in NYC? It is quite the stuff of insanity. Plus we also have a new I Need A Drink - could movie theaters be a thing of the past or are we just really, really bored? We will find out the answer! And it's also time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! This week it's a tale of secession, guns and greed as the Batshit Conference finals pit heavily favored #1 Virginia against red hot #3 Idaho!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Mon May 4, 2020, 12:31 AM (1 replies)
Go to Page: 1