Top 10 Idiots

Top 10 Idiots's Journal

May 20, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Dont Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Editi

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Don’t Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So how you guys holding up at home? You doing good? Ah this fucking sucks, I can’t wait to go back out and do some live Top 10s again. But we’re here and not going crazy at the moment. This is our next to last edition of Season 8. We will be back for a Season 9 and a season 10. Not sure what is going to happen beyond that though. We’ve been covering nearly almost all of the Trump administration, which is insane. So last week, we lost the great Jerry Stiller who of course played George’s father Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. This week, we lost the late, great Fred Willard. Who has been in just a ton of great movies, like Best In Show, or This Is Spinal Tap, or Anchorman, or Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. OK maybe the last one wasn’t so great, it was funny sure, but in the back end of Fred Willard’s catalogue there’s definitely some much better movies of his that you can watch. And he was a dude who could not only make people laugh, but he was My personal favorite is him in Anchorman where he is on the phone to his son’s principal’s office and says “Why I don’t know where he could have got a hold of German pornography.”. Ah that was a classic. Also Spinal Tap, you can’t forget the greatness of that film. Do I know where I am going with this? You bet your ass I don’t. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and explains how the Coronavirus is affecting the sports industry.

Man the GOP are really proving to be completely full of shit aren’t they? Not to mention stupid, classless and arrogant. So in the number one slot this week goes to Donald Trump (1). He’s apparently grown bored with Coronavirus and is shifting focus to his next wacky adventure – Space Force and locking up Obama, because, reasons. In the third slot this week is Wisconsin Republicans (2) and they clearly don’t give a shit about 87,000 Americans dying from Coronavirus and voted to fully open the state anyways. In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump and we’re going to talk about the alarming testimony from whistleblower Dr. Bright that took over the House and well, we’re seriously fucked. Taking the fourth slot this week is yet another guy who clearly doesn’t give a shit, and that’s Elon Musk (4), and we will talk about his quest to reopen the Tesla manufacturing facility in Fremont and his war with California. He crazy. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates. And this week, how is Coronavirus affecting the animal population? Well animals trapped in zoos are having a hard time getting the food they need, and China’s got a huge bamboo problem affecting the worldwide panda population. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and is the Coronavirus the key to unleashing the next generation of the mark of the beast? Our resident pastor is going to go over one of the crazier conspiracy theories to come out of the Christian right. In slot #7, after giving what many are calling the worst high school graduation speech of all time, we add Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Taking the 8th slot this week is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and we’re going to check out a new video promoting some ridiculous theories about coronavirus vaccines that, well, for lack of a better word, went viral. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have an all new “I Need A Drink”. And do we really need a spinoff of Jeremy Piven’s hot-headed super agent character Ari Gold from Entourage? I need a few drinks for this one. And finally it’s time for the Stupidest State Final Four! Idaho. Michigan. Florida. Alabama. Two of these teams will advance, one wins it all! Plus we’ve got some new music from a favorite band of mine, AWOLNATION! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know that old saying about how the cure is worse than the disease right? Well, Donald Trump, the guy who we are currently calling “president of the United States” has officially lost it. And with the coronavirus still ravaging society and wreaking havoc on our day to day lives, would you really trust the guy who tells us to drink bleach and stares at the sun during an eclipse? I mean shit this reeks of Papa John’s infamous 40 pizzas in 30 days interview (see Top 10 #7-21 ). But when you’ve got a president who simply doesn’t give a flying fuck about things like health or science, would you trust him with a cure for this thing?

President Donald Trump said Monday that he has been taking anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine daily for over a week to prevent coronavirus infection even though it is not yet a proven treatment.

“I happen to be taking it,” Trump said during a roundtable event at the White House. “A lot of good things have come out. You’d be surprised at how many people are taking it, especially the front-line workers. Before you catch it. The front-line workers, many, many are taking it.”

He added: “I’m taking it, hydroxychloroquine. Right now, yeah. Couple of weeks ago, I started taking it. Cause I think it’s good, I’ve heard a lot of good stories.”

Trump also said that he is taking zinc, and that he has taken an initial dose of azithromycin, or Z-Pak.

White House physician Dr. Sean Conley released a memo Monday evening, which said that after discussing evidence for and against hydroxychloroquine with Trump, they concluded “the potential benefit from treatment outweighed the relative risks.”
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/18/trump-says-he-takes-hydroxychloroquine-to-prevent-coronavirus-infection.html

That is a good question sir! What is wrong with him? Does this mean that he’s got the virus and requires treatment? It’s no secret that COVID is probably crawling all over the White House with two Pence staffers testing positive. But at least even Pence, for all his flaws, has more sense than our president does, and that’s saying something. And then Nancy Pelosi had to weigh in on the subject, and well, it was a thing of beauty!

In response to the shocking news that President Donald Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to ward off the coronavirus, CNN's Anderson Cooper asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi what she made of that decision.

Here's what she said:

"As far as the President is concerned, he's our President and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group -- morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it's not a good idea."

Which raises an interesting question: Is Trump actually morbidly obese? (Twitter was taken by that question Tuesday morning, with both #PresidentPlump and #TrumpMorbidlyObese" trending.)

Let's start here: The CDC doesn't actually use the term "morbidly obese" at all.
Generally speaking, it defines obesity as having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. (BMI is calculated by taking "a person's weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters," according to the CDC website.) Within "obese," the CDC has three distinctions: 1) Those with a BMI between 30 and 35 2) those with a BMI between 35 and 40 and 3)those with a BMI over 40, which the CDC categorizes as having "extreme" or "severe" obesity.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/19/politics/nancy-pelosi-donald-trump-fat-hydroxychloroquine/index.html

Yeah let it all hang out there! By the way if you want to see where your state’s governor ranks on how they’ve been handling this seemingly never-ending crisis, then one thing is for certain – 49 of the 50 governors all have better approval ratings than Trump did. Oh and in case you’re wondering where this is leading, Trump is already bored with Coronavirus and has moved onto his next wacky adventure – conquering space with his shiny new toy, er branch of the military – Space Force!

The U.S. Space Force — the newest branch of the armed services — now has its own flag.

Defense Department officials presented President Donald Trump with the Space Force flag during a short Oval Office event on Friday. The dark blue and white flag includes elements intended to evoke the vast recesses of outer space.

The Space Force, which was officially established in December, is the first new military service since the U.S. Air Force was established in 1947. The 16,000 airmen and civilians that make up the Space Force technically remain part of the Air Force, which previously oversaw offensive operations in space. But Trump has made clear he sees the newest service as critical to the future of American defense.

The president said during Friday's ceremony that the U.S. is building a “super-duper missile” that can travel “17 times faster than what we have right now.”
https://www.syracuse.com/us-news/2020/05/president-trump-unveils-space-force-flag-promises-super-duper-missile.html

Yes, Trump wants to conquer space! And he might as well hire Elon Musk to help him get to Mars while we are at it. You know before we go conquering strange new worlds, why don’t we, I don’t know, solve the problems here on this world first? We’ve got a crippling virus that’s destroying the lives of everyone on the planet and an economy that’s been exposed for the fraud it is. Oh and I don’t need to tell you that he’s also got a super duper missile too! Why not I don’t know, fix that? Oh well, onto the next wacky adventure! It was spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack writer! Here we go again!

President Donald Trump on Friday boasted that the US military is developing a new "super duper" missile that he claimed can travel 17-times faster than anything in the current arsenal, a claim the Pentagon was unwilling to confirm.

"We are building, right now, incredible military equipment at a level that nobody has ever seen before. We have no choice. We have to do it -- with the adversaries we have out there. We have a -- I call it the 'super-duper missile.' And I heard the other night, 17 times faster than what they have right now," Trump said at a White House event to sign the 2020 Armed Forces Day Proclamation.

Trump was speaking alongside some of the country's top military leadership, including Defense Secretary Mark Esper and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.

"You take the fastest missile we have right now -- you've heard Russia has five times, and China is working on five or six times. We have one 17 times. And it's just gotten the go-ahead," Trump added.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/16/politics/trump-super-duper-missile/index.html

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[font size="8"]The State Of Wisconsin
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Sometimes you don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Because you’ll leave with more than what you came. You don’t want to be where you can get a disease, because then you will be the one to blame. You don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Thank you virtual audience! Let’s do some fact checking here. Fact #1 – COVID will be with us for the next 18 months at a minimum and if we’re lucky. Fact #2 – social distancing will continue until at least 2022 assuming that there’s no vaccine found. Fact #3 – no way in hell will our economy last that long. Put all 3 facts together and this is a powder keg waiting to explode. Never mind that the parade of idiots and MAGAs keep spreading the virus to rural areas that had previously not contracted it. So how do you reopen the economy? Do you wade in the shallow end like California and Oregon are doing? Or do you dive in the deep end like Florida and Georgia are doing? Well, Wisconsin is going a slightly different path.

A feeling of so-called “normalcy” returned to the banks of the St. Croix River on Thursday, as people in Hudson packed the sidewalks and crowded restaurant patios for the first time in two months.

These activities finally became legal in the state of Wisconsin, after the conservative-led State Supreme Court deemed the Democratic governor’s “Safer at Home” order unconstitutional. In the absence of a statewide policy, the 72 local counties in Wisconsin – and the cities and towns within them – must now scramble to make their own rules as they see fit. In Hudson, the city and St. Croix County are still in discussions about those policies, according to county and city officials.

The elimination of statewide restrictions has led to a mix of celebration, confusion, and concern, depending on who you meet.

“It almost feels like we’re waking up from a dream,” teenagers Adrianna and Kenzie said after driving across the river from Minnesota to pick up food in downtown Hudson. “It’s cool to see everyone back. It’s… relieving.”
https://www.kare11.com/article/news/health/coronavirus/wisconsin-reopening-is-being-received-with-celebration-concern/89-9cad42ff-5ad2-4c50-83e8-2589c8f19df0

Oh we’re not doomed just yet. Ah fuck it, who am I kidding? Of course we’re doomed. We let our guard down in 1918 and what happened? The dreaded “second wave”. But let’s take a look at what happened in the bars in Wisconsin after things reopened as if the pandemic never happened or is happening. Holy shit are we doomed! Let’s cue my botched version of the Cheers theme again!

Bars in Wisconsin are open and busy.

The Palace in Superior has been open since Thursday night.

Anthony Erhardt is a bartender at The Palace and said it has been busy since Thursday.

While the bar offers masks and sanitation wipes, he noted very few customers have been going into the bar wearing protective equipment.

Erhardt said that people are traveling from all over to get a drink.

"75% of our business was people from Minnesota. A lot of people from the Twin Cities also and up the North Shore," Erhardt said.
https://kbjr6.com/2020/05/16/wisconsin-bars-busy-first-weekend-open/

Hey look I’m a drinker. I want to get my drink on again. I want to go to my favorite brew pub and sink a few pints. But as long as this virus is a threat I’ll get my beer to go and drink at home. Right now the society we’re in isn’t Cheers, and you’re not Norm Peterson. And we’re not done with this thing yet, we’re not done by a long shot. If you want to go out, be sure you are made aware of the risks, like diving in the shallow end. It’s not recommended, so don’t do it.

Businesses did attempt to keep customers and workers safe. Indoors, attendance capacities were limited. People were asked to keep their distance and limit trips to the bathroom.

But after two months of banned public gatherings and shuttered businesses, it was striking to see such normality days after the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down Gov. Tony Evers’ safer-at-home order.

And it wasn’t just Wisconsinites taking advantage of it. As is typical in Lake Geneva, the town on Saturday was filled with cars bearing license plates from Illinois, a state that is still subject to a stay-at-home order from its governor.

“Illinois is closed and we’ve been wanting to get out,” said Castano Penn, a Chicagoan who works at a senior living center and was not wearing a mask Saturday. “I know it’s probably bad. I’m just kind of done with it all.”

It was a sentiment shared by others as well. About a half-dozen other people interviewed by the Journal Sentinel said they grew tired of isolating in their homes and felt they deserved the freedom to choose what’s safe and what isn’t.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/2020/05/16/coronavirus-hundreds-flock-lake-geneva-downtown-most-without-masks/5207663002/

Well yes, good point, Norm. Because there’s still things you can and can’t do. Sure you could go to a bar and pound brews with your buddies, but would you risk a DUI? Or would you risk getting into an Uber afterward? There’s plenty of chances you can take and right now none of them are particularly good, so really until we know what this virus is doing, stay home and shut up.

Does the Supreme Court decision mean all businesses will reopen in Wisconsin?

No. Business owners may decide to remain closed, or reopen at their own pace and with their own restrictions. They may also be subject to local restrictions aimed at controlling the spread of the coronavirus that were unaffected by the Supreme Court decision about the statewide restrictions.

Some businesses may have lost their staff during the shutdown period and need to rehire before opening, or may have closed permanently.

Can a business owner make me keep a distance from others, or wash my hands, or wear a mask to get services or purchase products?

Yes. Private business owners can operate how they wish, short of illegal discrimination or safety violations. Remember "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs? A more current example is the ban many businesses impose on weapons, even though the state allows properly licensed people to carry concealed guns in public generally.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/local/wisconsin/2020/05/14/what-you-need-know-businesses-reopening-wisconsin/5190132002/

[font size="8"]Dr. Bright Testimony
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We’re fucked. No wait, yeah, we’re fucked. Nice knowing you, humanity. We had a good run, but it’s time to start packing it in. Do I know where I am going with this? Well last week, we saw the alarming and damning testimony from COVID whistleblower and former Trump admin employee, Dr. Bright and COVID whistleblower and soon to be ex Trump admin employee Dr. Fauci. The Trump administration is determined to reopen the economy if it means killing a whole lot of us, and this thing isn’t going away any time soon. But as far as the long haul fear mongering let’s keep in mind the average length of a pandemic is really about 12 months or so. But it’s going to be a hell of a long time before things get back to normal.

Dr. Rick Bright is the highest-ranking government scientist to charge the federal government's response to the coronavirus pandemic has been slow and chaotic. He says it has prioritized politics over science, and has cost people their lives.

It has cost Dr. Bright his job. In April, he was removed from a top position in the Department of Health and Human Services, and transferred to what he considers a position of less stature and responsibility. Dr. Bright has filed a whistleblower complaint running over 300 pages.

President Trump has called Rick bright a disgruntled employee. In congressional testimony on Thursday, Bright claimed the government retaliated against him for telling the truth about the depth of the crisis.

Bright at congressional hearing: Our window of opportunity is closing. If we fail to improve our response now based on science, I fear the pandemic will get worse and be prolonged.

Until a month ago, Dr. Rick Bright led BARDA, the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, a federal agency to which Congress has handed more than $5 billion to fund vaccine development, new antiviral drugs, and badly-needed medical supplies.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/rick-bright-whistleblower-trump-administration-coronavirus-pandemic-response/

Yes, we’re doomed. Only in this administration do you get fired for speaking the truth. Because that’s just how Trump rolls. So we’re basically left with two choices – we reopen and we’re completely miserable because of all the restrictions that COVID has placed on our society and risk the possibility of certain death, or we stay at home and go crazy from boredom.

An ousted top Health and Human Services official testified Thursday before Congress that the Trump administration's timeline for a coronavirus vaccine is likely too optimistic — and that there's "no plan" to mass produce and distribute one.

Hopes for a vaccine to be ready in 12 to 18 months assume that "everything goes perfectly," the official, Dr. Rick Bright, told the House Energy and Commerce subcommittee on health, adding, "We've never seen everything go perfectly."

Bright also said he had warned the administration about shortages of personal protective equipment, and he faulted President Donald Trump and senior officials for having minimized the outbreak early on — with, he said, deadly consequences.

"I believe Americans need to be told the truth," Bright said. "We did not forewarn people. We did not train people. We did not educate them on social distancing and wearing a mask as we should have in January and February. All those forewarnings, all those educational opportunities, for the American public could have had an impact in further slowing this outbreak and saving more lives."
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/coronavirus-whistleblower-bright-issues-stark-vaccine-warning-we-don-t-n1207056

Well come on man this is the Trump administration. Anyone less than someone who isn’t 100% loyal to Trump is considered disgruntled. But the more Trump keeps tanking this thing and the more people start dying, this could be a bad sign. Even more so as the idiots keep showing up at those anti-lockdown protests. Yeah this pandemic couldn’t suck more. Everyone wants to get back to their lives free from the restrictions. But do something stupid and it could open up Pandora’s box.

The Trump administration official set to testify before Congress Thursday oversaw the production and purchase of vaccines before being abruptly dismissed last month amid a clash with the administration on coronavirus treatments.

Dr. Rick Bright is an international expert on vaccines with a lengthy work history in the field. His expected testimony comes after he filed a whistleblower complaint last week alleging he was removed from his post in retaliation for opposing the broad use of hydroxychloroquine, a drug frequently touted by President Donald Trump as a treatment for Covid-19.

Bright had led the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, part of a Department of Health and Human Services office that has been central to the response to the coronavirus outbreak, since 2016.

As BARDA's director, Bright oversaw "the advanced development and procurement of medical countermeasures against an array of threats to national security and the public's health, including chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear threats and pandemic influenza, and emerging infectious diseases," according to an archived webpage of his official biography.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/22/politics/who-is-rick-bright/index.html

[font size="8"]Elon Musk
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What is it with people losing their minds and going full MAGA? First Kanye went and became a full blown sleazy televangelist and now it appears that Elon Musk is following in his footsteps. I mean what is it? you reach a certain age and you don’t have to worry about money and then somehow you just lose your shit? Last week Elon shocked the world when he named his newborn son X AE A-12. But now Tesla is turning the tables on the state in which it was founded – California. Yes, my home state and the favorite punching bag of conservatives everywhere. But Elon is taking things to the next level against not only the state but the coronavirus lockdowns that have crippled the economy.

Musk continued tweeting, appealing to followers to protest to their local government officials over the issue and comparing the Alameda County lockdown to other nearby counties which he stated had been suffering ‘no ill effects’ from continued industrial operation.

Local government in Alameda does not consider Tesla manufacture to be an ‘essential business’ and has therefore been ordered to be closed until the end of May at the earliest, following an original lockdown beginning on 23 March.

While lots of carmakers globally are beginning to start production again, with the likes of VW, Ford and Porsche all reawakening productions lines, Tesla remains dormant. It’s the only carmaker based in California, with CEO Musk repeatedly voicing frustration in recent weeks at what he sees as over-zealous, unconstitutional measures against personal liberties in the US.

So far, more than 80,000 people are known to have died from COVID-19 in the United States, with more than 1.3 million known cases recorded. Both figures are the highest tolls for a single county in the world.

Earlier in May Tesla shares saw $14billion wiped off their value after Musk tweeted that he thought Tesla’s stock price was too high. In, erm, mildly better news, the Tesla Model 3 was the UK’s best-selling car in April, while the market as a whole contracted by 97 per cent.
https://www.topgear.com/car-news/elon-musk-says-tesla-will-quit-california-over-coronavirus-lockdown

Yeah pretty much. But then Elon not only did that, he decided to go rogue. You know – going rogue is the favorite plot of just about every spy movie in existence. And look, Elon, we get it, we all want to go back to our jobs and daily routines that we had before the pandemic, but considering the pandemic might not be over at least this year we are going to have to make some sacrifices. And this is coming from a guy who can lose $14 BILLION in a single tweet. Yes, billion.

Tesla Inc. told employees that a California county health official has now signed off on safety measures the company took last week at its car plant as it restarted production in defiance of the area’s shutdown order.

The Alameda County health officer’s approval means Tesla has local support to resume full production starting this week, Laurie Shelby, the company’s environmental, health, and safety vice president, wrote in an email to staff Saturday that was viewed by Bloomberg News. Representatives for Tesla and the county didn’t respond to queries outside regular business hours.

The county’s authorization could resolve a highly contentious episode in which Elon Musk threatened to move Tesla’s headquarters and future programs out of California and sued the county over its health officer’s resistance to reopening the factory in Fremont. It’s unclear whether the chief executive officer will now follow through on his warnings, which also included shifting the company’s manufacturing out of the state.

When Tesla was resisting calls to idle the factory in March, Fremont officials sought clarification from Alameda County as to whether the company was an essential business. Erica Pan, the county’s health officer, considered the plant to be a public health risk, according to documents obtained through a California public-records request.
https://auto.hindustantimes.com/auto/news/tesla-says-california-plant-elon-musk-reopened-finally-has-county-s-approval-41589773108595.html

Of course! Even in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century do we set aside the almighty dollar for life itself! Well I got news for you Elon, no matter how much money you may have, you can’t take it with you when you’re lying in a box in a ditch! But this is quite the wild ride here – it’s Mr. Elon’s Wild Ride (thank you to our graphics department for that one). But really on our list of priorities right now, new cars should be like last on the list. Let alone niche cars that most people can’t afford even if they could.

Electric carmaker Tesla (TSLA) - Get Report reportedly has asked dozens of workers at its car plant in Fremont, California, to return to work as soon as this Wednesday despite stay-at-home orders that remain in place for some 40 million Californians amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Internal messages viewed by Bloomberg indicate that Tesla is asking some of its workers - mostly those responsible for paint and stamping operations - to return to work as early as April 29, six days ahead of the tentative May 3 date currently being considered by state officials as a date to begin cautiously allowing businesses to reopen.

The potential battle come as states weigh the health and safety vs. economic benefits of reopening for business some seven weeks after the coronavirus pandemic brought the U.S. economy to an unprecedented standstill. Several states including Georgia, South Carolina, Arkansas and Wyoming began lifting restrictions on some businesses this past weekend.

Tesla last month gained headlines after defying stay-at-home orders and keeping its carmaking factory up and running, leading to a run-in with the local Alameda County sheriff’s office. Tesla argued it was an essential service and should remain open; the sheriff’s department argued otherwise. Tesla closed the site on March 29.
https://www.thestreet.com/investing/tesla-california-reopen-factory-stay-at-home-orders-coronavirus

Oh and here’s where it gets weird, because you knew that it was coming. I mean come on, would you expect the guy who named his kid a series of nonsensical symbols to not have something weird associated with him? Well, he’s gone full Red Pill Truther, which of course means that his political beliefs are well off the deep end. And I love that one of the co-creators of the Matrix wasn’t having any of it.

A strange tweet by Tesla Inc. (NASDAQ: TSLA) CEO Elon Musk, has given rise to speculation that he may be veering to the right of the political spectrum.

What Happened

Musk, who is known to be a prolific user of Twitter, took to the platform on Sunday to declare, “Take the red pill.”

The red pill may be a reference to the 1999 movie “The Matrix,” in which the protagonist, Neo, is faced with the choice of taking either a red or a blue pill.
However, the red pill may also be Musk’s way of indicating his willingness to adopt right-wing political ideology, according to Business Insider. Musk is a self-described “moderate.”

Replying to Musk’s tweet, Ivanka Trump exclaimed, “Taken!”
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/elon-musks-red-pill-tweet-081927398.html

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: China’s Bamboo Problem
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

How is the COVID-19 crisis hitting the worldwide animal population? While animals have a very rare possibility of contracting the deadly affliction themselves, it’s disrupted the global supply chain to the point where certain considerations have to be made for the greater good of the species. And this all happened in ways that could never happen in a million years, but have because of the COVID-19 crisis that is currently ravaging the planet. Because if you go through the supply chain food would have to make it from one side of the globe to the other, and if that chain is interrupted, then it would be impossible for that species to have a steady food supply. Let’s take the panda for instance and how this is being affected.

The Calgary Zoo will be returning two giant pandas on loan from China because a scarcity of flights due to COVID-19 has caused problems with getting enough bamboo to feed them.

Er Shun and Da Mao arrived in Calgary in 2018 after spending five years at the Toronto Zoo and were to remain in the Alberta city until 2023.

The zoo’s president, Clement Lanthier, said this week the facility spent months trying to overcome transportation barriers in acquiring fresh bamboo and decided it’s best for the animals to be in China, where their main food source is abundant.

“It’s about the animals. At the end of the day, we cannot pretend that we care for animals if we don’t take those tough decisions,″ Lanthier said. “We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access.″
https://kstp.com/coronavirus/calgary-zoo-returning-pandas-to-china-due-to-bamboo-barriers/5729497/

And there will be a lot more sad pandas if this keeps up. Because this thing has the potential to be a huge problem, and not just in China’s panda community. But as the world’s meat supplies are being upended and people are turning to relative measures to eat food and stay alive. One such tree population that is being ravaged is the very plant those pandas need to survive – bamboo.

The sound is deafening as metal strikes metal, battering my eardrums. Wood chips whizz past my head and the temperature seems to be rising in this small and dusty workshop. Amid the haze of sawdust, which seems to be enveloping everyone in the room, a team of workers stands over a series of archaic machines.

"Business is getting better and better each year," explains Kuai Liangyou, taking a moment of temporary silence as an opportunity to talk. "We get through nearly 800 bamboo trees a day. That's about 20 tons. The demand is very big. In the peak season, we cannot meet the demand."

Kuai is the manager of a relatively small but highly productive bamboo factory in Changning County, in southern Sichuan. This basic but efficient production line churns out a constant stream of refined bamboo, either being made into furniture or being split into new sets of disposable chopsticks. The factory is one of hundreds in the region that are trying to satisfy the appetite of the Chinese market for this new in-demand resource.

"Sichuan is one of the most densely populated regions in the country," explains Li Yanxia, Sichuan program officer for the International Network for Bamboo and Rattan (INBAR). "The rapid growth in demand for bamboo resources over the last two decades has caused excessive exploitation of forest resources in the province. This has resulted in serious disturbance and destruction of the biodiversity of ecosystems in natural bamboo forests."
https://pulitzercenter.org/reporting/chinas-appetite-bamboo-damaging-forests

But if we want to figure out how to save our pandas during the duration of this pandemic, look to Scotland, where the panda is the star attraction at the Edinburgh Zoo. But is it enough? And how long will this pandemic last? Those are two unknown variables. If the pandemic lasts longer than 18 months than it is a possibility that stockpile could run low. But if it doesn’t then it’s possible that the pandas could be saved without relocating them to China.

Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang munch through up to 40lb of bamboo per day in their enclosures at Edinburgh Zoo.Concerns for the iconic animals were raised after it emerged that Canada's Calgary Zoo plans to return its own pair to China because of problems getting enough bamboo to feed them, caused by a scarcity of flights because of Covid-19.

Edinburgh Zoo bosses say that while they are still asking the public for donations to help meet their £55,000 per month animal food bill while they have no visitor income, they have no concerns about bamboo supply. They added that, as a result, they are not considering sending their star attractions back to China.Jo Elliot, animal collection manager at Edinburgh Zoo, said: "We have made sure that our stores are topped up and ready, which means that we have a bit of resilience there if we do have any supply chain issues.

"Many of the animals have specialist diets - obviously the pandas, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, need their bamboo. Most of it gets shipped in from the Netherlands, and at the moment that is fine, we are still getting deliveries."Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang arrived at Edinburgh Zoo in 2011 on a ten year loan from China, for which the Scottish Government pays around £600,000 per year.It was hoped Tian Tian, whose name translates as "Sweetie", would produce an historic cub in Scotland but efforts have so far failed.
https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/people/edinburgh-zoos-giant-pandas-have-enough-bamboo-get-through-pandemic-2857835

But that said why is Calgary not getting the supply they need if they have pandas on loan? Well the Coronavirus has turned life upside down in ways that were completely unimaginable even going back as far as last December. And unknown variables and plenty of ways for this to go wrong could not only upend the worldwide panda population, but could have an adverse effect on zoology as we know it.

Two giant pandas in Canada will be heading back to China because their main meal, fresh bamboo, was getting too difficult to find during the pandemic, officials at Calgary Zoo in Canada said.

The bamboo for Er Shun and Da Mao was flown directly from China and then, when the pandemic reduced flights, on transfers from Toronto, the zoo said Tuesday. But even those flights have been reduced, making the adult bears' favored food supply shaky.

Shipments have gone to the wrong place, delivery times have been longer and the pair just won't eat some of the bamboo, zoo officials said.

"We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access," Calgary Zoo President and CEO Clément Lanthier said in a statement.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/animal-news/canada-zoo-return-pandas-china-because-bamboo-too-hard-get-n1207496

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know while we sit and wait to see how these uncertain times play out, there’s people on the other side who think that this might be the end of the world. And right now, it might literally be the end of the world as long as the great pandemic is going on. Even the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with that. But is it bringing about some unwanted side effects? Because my brothers and sisters on the right think that there’s going to be an after mark of the dreaded virus that’s been ravaging the economy and ruining lives. So how would this play out exactly? Well it’s the Mark Of The Beast, and you might want to get your Iron Maiden soundtrack of choice ready!

Peggy Popham gets her flu shot every year, despite her daughter Laura’s opposition to vaccines.

“I’m 70 and I’ve gotten sick before,” said Popham. “I don’t have a great immune system.”

Popham, who spoke to Yahoo News by phone while quarantining at home in Asheville, N.C., acknowledges that the same factors put her at risk for the coronavirus. “Of course,” she said, she’s worried about contracting COVID-19.

But she’s more worried about a possible vaccine for it.

“Absolutely not,” she said. “I would not take the vaccine.”

That’s a view shared by nearly one in five Americans, according to a recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll, which found that an additional 26 percent weren’t sure if they’d take it. Some of them no doubt have been influenced by the anti-vaccine disinformation that has been spreading for more than a decade on social media — although that has been directed primarily at routine childhood immunizations and their hypothesized link to autism. Popham’s reasons aren’t medical: They are religious and political.
https://news.yahoo.com/evangelicals-fear-the-mark-of-the-beast-from-a-coronavirus-vaccine-183249943.html

Oh my LAWRD, one in five?? One in fucking five??? Sorry, we are allowed to swear in my church, good sir. That ratio is way too high and it’s the reason why we can’t have nice things. And I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with me there, now wouldn’t he? Even the chief vaccinator himself, Bill Gates – many of whom see as the devil himself, weighs in on how ridiculous this all is.

If the worries of most quarantined Christians in the United States center on health and when they might resume their lives, there is a segment that wonders whether this moment has greater biblical significance. These apocalyptic-minded Christians seem to have become increasingly less concerned about the disease itself and more concerned about the government’s response to the disease.

To some, it appears Satan’s emissaries are poised to take advantage of the pandemic. Some Christian pastors believe the start of a Last Days battle for religious freedom began with the social distancing orders that have placed weekly in-person church services under fire. Tony Spell, pastor of Life Tabernacle, a Louisiana megachurch, defended his decision to hold a Palm Sunday service: “The church is the last force resisting the Antichrist, let us assemble regardless of what anyone says.” Another Louisiana pastor, Ronnie Hampton, decried the order “because Caesar is mandating how we conduct ourselves using the pretext of this virus to be able to conduct our lives and run our lives for us.”

American apocalypticists tend to be suspicious of government, of course. This is partly due to their conservative bent, but this suspicion is nearly mandated by a literalist reading of the Book of Revelation. John the Revelator’s arch-villains are political powers that institute totalitarian social controls while persecuting the righteous who refuse to profess their allegiance. The second beast of Revelation 13, commonly known as the Anti-Christ, will, according to many Christians, come to power in the chaos of the apocalypse. John described him as a miracle worker who will deceive the nations to worship the image of an earlier beast, a dragon with seven heads and ten horns that is sometimes identified as Satan himself.
https://religiondispatches.org/bill-gates-comments-on-covid-19-vaccine-enflame-mark-of-the-beast-worries-in-some-christian-circles/

Now here’s where it gets weird, and you knew that it was going to. Even in the great land of Jamaica, you see they are spreading the Mark Of The Beast visions as far as the dreaded virus has been spreading all across the land. The question is, where is this coming from and where is it going? Just like the virus itself, nobody really knows. And I don’t think anybody really cares either.

Jermaine Allen and Jacqueline Murray of the Linstead Seventh-day Adventist Church and North Street Seventh-day Adventist Church, respectively, claimed to have received visions on Tuesday this week.

They stated that the visions warned the “mark of the beast” would soon be imposed around the world. The new world order would force the Jamacian government to impose mandatory worship on Sunday.

“When the Lord gave us the message, we woke with much trembling and I know we had to take this message to the people of the world, and the prime minister of the country, that a great crisis is coming and the devil is going to send persons to enforce a one-day Sunday worship,” Allen said.

The Adventist claimed he had not been able to sleep after his vision.

“God loves (Prime Minister) Andrew (Holness) very much, and he does not want him to follow the rest of the world and institute these laws. He needs to be careful because any country that breaks the laws of God will come to national destruction,” said Murray, referring to the Jamaican PM who also happens to be Adventist.
https://wtlmautodesk.wordpress.com/2020/05/14/jamaican-adventists-go-public-with-mark-of-the-beast-visions/

Now you might be wondering where is this nonsense coming from? Well like all bad things right n ow, it originated from social media. And like all bad things, that propaganda, which I am sure the LAWRD they GAWD would disapprove of, spread as fast as it was made. And you can almost tell it’s bullshit just from looking at it. But does that persuade our brothers and sisters on the right? No it most certainly doesn’t!

As universities and pharmaceutical companies race to put out the first COVID-19 vaccine, some sectors of the religious right are gearing up to fight it, based on tenuous ties to what they call “the abortion industry” and a biblical teaching about “the mark of the beast.”

LifeSite News, a Catholic, anti-abortion website, has gathered more than 350,000 signatures on a petition protesting mandatory coronavirus vaccination orders—none of which have actually been issued. The petition starts with the kind of big-government concerns that have become a hallmark of anti-shutdown protests, claiming that “fear of a disease” could inadvertently lead to support for “the hidden agenda of governmental as well as non-governmental bodies” with plans to “restrict personal freedoms.”

“The so-called ‘public health experts’ have gotten it wrong many times during the current crisis,” the petition states. “We should not, therefore, allow their opinions to rush decision-makers into policies regarding vaccination.”
https://www.thedailybeast.com/religious-far-right-mounts-anti-abortion-attack-on-covid-19-vaccine?ref=scroll

And there you have it, the people responsible for circulating the Mark Of The Beat propaganda are tools of the devil himself! Me personally? I prefer Iron Maiden. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Tony Evers: People Who Somehow Got Elected [br] [/font] [br]

Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week: Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse. While the rest of us are still reeling from the unfathomable havoc that COVID-19 is wrecking on the rest of the world, Senator Sasse has his own ideas about where it came from. The class of 2020 is suffering from not being able to take part in graduation ceremonies and end of the year activities that every senior from every other year gets to participate in. Instead they were subjected to virtual proms and senior nights on Zoom. Which really is not how you want to remember the last days of your high school or college career. Well, Ben Sasse gave a graduation speech that one will definitely remember. Much like the infamous curse toast from Seinfeld., Ben Sasse gave a speech that a bad comedian might deliver in a really bad improv sketch.

Regulars here at the shebeen are familiar with the exploits of Young Ben Sasse, Republican senator from Nebraska. Young Ben is often discussed as the future of his party, since he has loudly proclaimed himself as a leader of that dwindling faction of the GOP fairly described as Not Publicly Insane. (However, this principled stand has not kept him from enabling El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago whenever the rubber has met the road.) He also has declared himself the avatar of homespun heartland values and virtues. He even wrote a book about how the country has lost both its moral language and its mad cow-milking skillz. It was another one of those interminable conservative hell-in-a-handbasket tomes in which lofty philosophical language is used in place of the phrase, “Kids, today. Jeez.” How that “national moral language” jibed with voting in lockstep with the current moral landfill in the Oval Office is not for small minds to ponder.

Anyway, Young Ben Sasse got yet another week of self-quarantine off with a bang by providing the graduating seniors at Fremont High School in Fremont, Nebraska with a video commencement address, just like Barack Obama, an actual president, did all over television on Saturday night. Except that Young Ben Sasse, tie askew and quarantine stubble ablaze, parked his speech somewhere between a televised megachurch and Open Mic Night at the Chuckle Hut in North Platte.

It’s hard to get a handle on what Young Ben Sasse was going for here. Was his odd denunciation of people named “Jeremy” a signal to Pearl Jam fans in Fremont that he is not with them? Was he trying to be the Hip Senator Who Can Talk to the Young with all that business about climbing the rope in gym class? (Note: I spent four years in high school trying to climb the damn rope. Never made it off the ground.) The denunciation of psychology was probably a pitch for the know-nothing constituency he’ll need later on. As for the rest, I have no explanation for the point where he makes an “I’m old” joke and then replies to it himself, or the sudden time-warped appearance of his 2024 presidential stump speech about the evil Chinese. Also, too: grit.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a32578533/ben-sasse-commencement-speech/

So that happened. Ben Sasse gave his speech that would be pegged by a comedian that bombed open mic night at the local chuckle hut. But is China really to blame for COVID? Well there’s plenty of theories suggesting yes and plenty of theories suggesting no, but before you go into which is which, let’s keep in mind all the information coming out of China about how bad this thing was going to get, that it would totally upend our way of life as we knew it, but let’s not let facts get in the way of misinformation.

The Republican senator Ben Sasse’s attempt at humor during a speech for high school students has drawn strong criticism.

Sasse delivered the online speech to students at his former school, Fremont high in Nebraska, on Saturday. During the speech he suggested that the students would remember their senior years at their future reunions as “that time when China started a big global pandemic that created the worst public health crisis in over a century and brought the economy to its knees and we had to stay home and everybody was hoarding toilet paper”.

Near the end of the speech, Sasse mixed some serious encouragement for students with another shot at China.

“Nobody knows exactly how we’re going to beat this thing, but you know what, we’re Americans, we’re Nebraskans, we’ve got grit and we’re going to beat this thing,” he said. “We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus ... We’re going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it,” he said.

Sasse also joked about psychologists: “Ninety-five per cent of all gainfully employed psychologists – and I’m serious, there are dozens of them that are gainfully employed - their job is really just to help people forget high school ... If you’re headed to college, do not do not major in psychology. That part’s not a joke.”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/17/senator-ben-sasse-china-coronavirus-graduation-speech

Now why do you have to hate on psychologists, Ben? Who hurt you? Now if you’re one of the people who are asking for an apology for this, keep in mind that Senator Sasse is a member of the GOP, they apologize for nothing. But apparently Mr. Sasse has a thing for doctors too, because this is not the first time he’s spoken out about the health care system. And with friends like these, you know, who needs enemies?

"We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus.. We're going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it," he said.

He went on: "Your generation is going to have a big calling. You're going to have to deal with the consequences of all this."

Sasse joked at one point there were no longer differences between parents and teachers, and suggested graduates should avoid majoring in psychology during college.

The Nebraska senator set off a wave of criticism after the speech, which came as he campaigns for reelection in November. His Democratic opponent, Chris Janicek, told The Omaha News-Herald in a statement that "it's hard for me to believe that a US senator would make remarks like he did in that speech."
https://www.businessinsider.com/gop-ben-sasse-thugs-in-china-high-school-commencement-address-2020-5

Yes, it is easily possible for us to believe that a US senator could make those comments. This is, after all, the Donald J. Trump administration, where civility, logic, and reason have all been thrown out the window. But in an era where it’s growing increasingly hard to joke about the news every day, how could a senator stoop to such lows? Well just take a look at who we are dealing with in the United States government, currently.

Sen. Ben Sasse, in an online commencement address Saturday for Fremont High School, delivered a talk that was part attempted stand-up comedy, including shots at psychologists and students’ fitness, and part a scalding indictment of China over the coronavirus pandemic.

It drew sharp criticism from a Fremont school board member, who called on Sasse to apologize, and from Sasse’s Democratic opponent in the November election. The school district issued a statement saying it wasn’t responsible for the comments. Sasse’s spokesman said Sunday that it was all a joke and that students are mature enough to hear the truth about China.

An unshaven Sasse, wearing a loosened red tie and white shirt, told students they would be rare among high school graduates in that they would remember their commencement ceremony because of this year’s odd circumstances.

A couple of the attempted jokes: He said that in life, the graduates would at times be asked to climb ropes. “If you don’t get that joke, talk to your mom and dad. Back in the day when we were a lot fitter than you people are, we used to have to climb ropes all the way up to the ceiling of the gym.”
https://www.omaha.com/news/state_and_regional/watch-now-sasse-ridicules-people-named-jeremy-trying-to-joke-rips-thugs-in-china-in/article_115b3a24-e69d-5e47-8e4f-8730652bd785.html

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This is Ben Sasse, yet another in the ever-growing list of:

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Plandemic
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Gather around, boys and girls, ladies and gents, and our LGBT brothers and sisters! I don’t want to leave anybody out. It’s the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! This week we are going to talk vaccines. Because as the talk of the COVID era is a vaccine that will hopefully kill this virus so we can all get back to the lives we had, the only way we are going to do that is with a vaccine. But with the vaccine already is coming a massive, worldwide disinformation campaign about what vaccines actually do. But thankfully social media websites like Facebook, Youtube, and Google are starting to crack down on misinformation regarding Coronavirus. But like a bad weed or a game of whack-a-mole, truly batshit crazy theories never die. They just spawn new legs and move somewhere else.

Social media is playing a huge role in the consumption of news as people seek out information about the coronavirus pandemic. But COVID-19 conspiracy-based claims are also spreading amid reliable news.

“The 2019-nCOV outbreak and response has been accompanied by a massive ‘infodemic’ — an overabundance of information — some accurate and some not — that makes it hard for people to find trustworthy sources and reliable guidance when they need it,” the World Health Organization stated in a February situation report.

The latest viral craze is the documentary “Plandemic.” This 26-minute documentary focuses on former research scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and documentary creator Mikki Willis as they dive into a realm of theories about the pandemic.

The video received over a million views while it was hosted on YouTube. It eventually was taken down late last week for violating YouTube’s community guidelines but has made its way to several other social media sites.

“The creators of the video directly encouraged people to share it,” said Alex Kaplan, senior researcher at the left-leaning Media Matters for America. “On the video’s website when the video was launched, they wrote: ‘In an effort to bypass the gatekeepers of free speech, we invite you to download this interview by simply clicking the button below, then uploading directly to all of your favorite platforms’.”
https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2020/plandemic-recirculates-after-platforms-say-they-took-it-down/

I don’t really think that’s how the virus spread but it does seem like that it could happen! The pandemic has spawned infodemic – and really just add anything with the word “demic” after it and it will be OK, kind of like when they added the word “quantum” to everything after Ant-Man. So now how does one go through the wormhole on anti-vaxxer thinking? Because like most things involving drugs, it’s a long, strange trip to nowhere.

The conspiracy theory video “Plandemic” recently went viral. Despite being taken down by YouTube and Facebook, it continues to get uploaded and viewed millions of times. The video is an interview with conspiracy theorist Judy Mikovits, a disgraced former virology researcher who believes the COVID-19 pandemic is based on vast deception, with the purpose of profiting from selling vaccinations.

The video is rife with misinformation and conspiracy theories. Many high-quality fact-checks and debunkings have been published by reputable outlets such as Science, Politifact and FactCheck.

As scholars who research how to counter science misinformation and conspiracy theories, we believe there is also value in exposing the rhetorical techniques used in “Plandemic.” As we outline in our Conspiracy Theory Handbook and How to Spot COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories, there are seven distinctive traits of conspiratorial thinking. “Plandemic” offers textbook examples of them all.

Learning these traits can help you spot the red flags of a baseless conspiracy theory and hopefully build up some resistance to being taken in by this kind of thinking. This is an important skill given the current surge of pandemic-fueled conspiracy theories.
https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-plandemic-and-the-seven-traits-of-conspiratorial-thinking-138483

And that’s probably the safest way to go out in public as long as Coronavirus and COVID-19 exist. Anti vaccination crusaders are a strange and certainly weird bunch indeed. Also, like most things involving social media in 2020, the scariest thing of all in the war on COVID-19? Disinformation! Yes, the bullshit is coming. And like coronavirus, the bullshit doesn’t care what political party you belong to, or what your social or economic status is.

Some “fake news” is more dangerous than others. Lies, distortions and misinformation about coronavirus can be deadly, which is why YouTube and Facebook keep having to remove posts for a video that has circulated widely on social media, garnering millions of views. Its title, “Plandemic,” gives away its premise: that the COVID-19 outbreak, and the attempts to control it, are part of a sinister conspiracy by the very people whom we trust to keep us safe.

The 26-minute video, which is supposedly part of a longer “documentary” to be released this summer, stars Dr. Judy Mikovits — a scientist who was fired from the Whittemore Peterson Institute for Neuro-Immune Disease in 2011 after her research into chronic fatigue syndrome was discredited and retracted.

The video was produced by Mikki Willis, who according to the New York Times was involved in making “Bernie or Bust” and “Never Hillary” videos during the 2016 presidential campaign.

“The coronavirus epidemic is really fertile soil for all kinds of coronavirus conspiracy theories. And I think this video is actually really a good indication for us of how much misinformation can get out there quickly on social media,” says Dr. Dara Kass, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Columbia University Medical Center and a Yahoo News medical contributor.
https://news.yahoo.com/debunking-the-coronavirus-conspiracies-in-viral-plandemic-video-181417621.html

Well it certainly seems that way. So yeah the people responsible for splitting the democratic party and giving us Bernie Bros are coming for our vaccines! But even with its’ super strict virus misinformation rules regarding COVID, the execs at Twitter are having a hard time swatting the Plandemic video. Even Roundup won’t kill this thing completely. And like a bad weed it will keep popping up and will take a massive effort to kill it.

It’s been about a week since a lengthy preview from the conspiracy documentary “Plandemic” went viral across the internet. The 25-minute video sent tech companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook into a frenzy as they scrambled to scrape it off their platforms.

The hoax — which featured discredited anti-vaccination scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and has been debunked — sought to expose “the scientific and political elite who run the scam that is our global health system” and accused Dr. Anthony Fauci, a leading member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, of burying anti-vaccination research.

However, over the past week, the Plandemic video has continued to resurface through alternative video hosting websites.

While other social media giants such as Facebook and YouTube have managed to slow the hoax’s spread, unofficial video links to the “Plandemic” documentary continue to seep through Twitter’s policies and moderating algorithms.
https://www.digitaltrends.com/news/twitter-plandemic-conspiracy-video-resurfacing/

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: TV Spinoff Showcase
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Hey everyone, yet another shitty week in quarantine and I could really use a drink!

Well here we are in… what the fuck week is this? I forget. Anyway we’re still in quarantine, it still sucks that we can’t go anywhere. And of course this is the segment where we have some drinks and while we’re drinking we talk about literally anything that doesn’t relate to politics. This week we’re going to discuss some possible TV spinoffs. And one in particular caught my eye. Tell me o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about spinoffs? Some Fight Milk? Well that is a bar staple at Paddy’s Pub in Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But I will stick to Jack Daniels since that’s what I have on hand I have been stocking plenty of it! So which TV spinoff am I the most interested in? Well remember the show Entourage? Yeah there’s talk that uber-creep Jeremy Piven, responsible for everyone’s hot-headed, anger-challenged super-agent Ari Gold should get his own series.

Entourage fans, get ready to hug it out. Jeremy Piven is apparently open to returning to his signature character—foul-mouthed Entourage agent Ari Gold—for a spinoff series.

"Yes, I've been asked about doing a spinoff for Ari Gold," Piven said in a video Barstool Sports shared on Twitter on Thursday. "And I want to put it out there to the people: Is that something you guys might be interested in?"

"I just want to know, we will figure out a hashtag," he added. (Might I suggest #GoForAriGold, Mr. Piven?) Piven also mentioned that if a spinoff happened, he'd bring along Lloyd, Ari's assistant/protege, played by Rex Lee.

Gold—the temperamental and often inappropriate agent who was equal parts unpredictable and brilliant at his job—was arguably the best character on Entourage. (Apologies to all the Johnny Drama stans out there.) He was certainly the breakout character, thanks to Piven's fiery performance and his way with insanely explicit lines, none of which will be quoted here. The actor was awarded several times over for his performance—he nabbed a Golden Globe and three Emmys for the role.
https://www.newsweek.com/jeremy-piven-teases-entourage-spinoff-about-ari-gold-every-bros-problematic-fave-1504150

I wonder how Ari and Lloyd are going to work in this socially distant nightmare hell world we’re currently living in? But since we currently have nothing to do but stay at home and watch TV, how are we going to pass the time until social distancing ends? I mean do we really need a spin off of the “Married At First Sight” people living under quarantine? I would probably shoot the TV. Well how about an American Horror Story spin off?

Ryan Murphy is bringing the American Horror Story cast back together for a special new project.

The series creator announced via Instagram that an anthology spin-off series called American Horror Stories is in the works, sharing the news alongside a photo from a recent AHS virtual reunion. Participants included Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Denis O'Hare, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts, Adina Porter, Billie Lourd, and Dylan McDermott.

“American Horror Story cast zoom call...where we reminisced about the good times...the spin-off we're doing called American Horror Stories (one hour contained episodes)...when we will start filming the next season of the mothership...and other stuff I cannot print. It was so much fun and I'm glad we caught up. I miss everyone," he captioned a photo of the group chat.

A representative for FX, home of the American Horror Story franchise, had no further information about the spin-off.
https://ew.com/tv/ryan-murphy-american-horror-story-anthology-spinoff/

Yeah seriously GTFO with this crap! How about a Star Trek spinoff? We currently have two Star Trek spinoffs on a network that we don’t watch or get – the CBS All Access. Really? Does anybody subscribe to that? Where’s my assistant at? LLOYD!!!! Oh wait, we don’t have any assistants right now. But this does sound promising assuming it can be shot in the post social distancing era.

Three of Star Trek: Discovery’s most popular characters are getting their own spinoff series for CBS All Access.

The new show will be called Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and will follow Anson Mount’s Captain Christopher Pike, Rebecca Romijn’s Number One and Ethan Peck’s Spock in the decade before Captain Kirk commanded the U.S.S. Enterprise through the stars. The show will follow the three shipmates as they travel the galaxy and explore new worlds.

The series premiere of Strange New Worlds is written by executive producer Akiva Goldsman, who will continue to serve as a key creative voice on Star Trek: Picard as well. Just like CBS’s other Star Trek shows, this one will be overseen by Alex Kurtzman. Kurtzman and fellow Discovery producer Jenny Lumet collaborated with Goldsman on the story for the series’ first episode.

Strange New Worlds is one of many shows set in the Star Trek universe that’s on the way in the near future. Rick and Morty writer Mike McMahan’s animated series Star Trek: Below Decks is headed to CBS All-Access. There’s also a show based on Section 31 — a secret and semi-unauthorized branch of Starfleet that handles delicate missions and covert operations — starring Michelle Yeoh that’s currently in development and a new CG-animated series for Nickelodeon. Along with all these upcoming shows Star Trek: Discovery’s third season is set to release sometime in 2020 along with Star Trek: Picard season 2, which doesn’t have a release date yet.
https://www.polygon.com/2020/5/15/21260020/star-trek-strange-new-worlds-spinoff-show-pike-spock-number-one-cbs-all-access

Ah chugging beers, I miss those times. Hopefully they will return again and we’ll be able to put this weird time behind us. But here’s one thing though – since enough content has been produced to last us for a millenia, we may actually run out of fresh material if new shows can’t be produced. Which begs the question – when do we get a vaccine for this shit? We need one!!! We can’t run out of new TV!!!! I mean it!!

We'd be lying if we said Netflix hasn't been somewhat of a saving grace during these unprecedented times. The past month has brought a wave of new original content on the streaming platform, from series like Outer Banks and Mindy Kaling's Never Have I Ever to films like Extraction. While many people are itching for stay-at-home orders to be lifted, Netflix has been able to make this time at home a lot more bearable. Of course, the new content can't last forever. When will it run out?

In an interview regarding the eventuality of a content shortage, Netflix Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos assured CNN that although all production around the world has been shut down, the company's 2020 slate of series and films have already been largely shot.

"We deliver all our shows with all episodes at once, so we're pretty far ahead. We don't see any disruption in our output over the next few months."
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Though the next few months are safely secured in terms of new original content, what does that mean for the latter part of the year or early 2021? Some of Netflix's projects are starting to see the effects of physical production being stuck at a halt; but production teams, casts, and executives are finding ways to (safely) nurture the creative process until in-person production can continue, Sarandos shared. One of these ways is virtual table reads of new episodes among actors and writers, giving subscribers hope that new content won't get lost in the shuffle, and when the time does come for people to return to work, Netflix employees will be more than prepared — as if almost no time was lost.
https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/will-netflix-run-out-original-tv-movies-in-2020-47473125

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 3 Week 1: The Final Four
[br] [/font] [br]

Welcome back to Stupidest State Round 3! Yes, the third round is finally here! Last week, Michigan’s stunning comeback left Nebraska out of the contest and secured the Final Four for this year! That said, let’s introduce the Final Four and get underway! From the Batshit Conference, it’s the Gem State, Idaho! From the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, it’s the Wolverine State, Michigan! From the Gun Nut Conference, it’s the Sunshine State, Florida! And from the Family Values Conference, last year’s champion, it’s the Cotton State, Alabama!!! Let’s get ready to rumble! We go now live to the floor at the home of the Anaheim Ducks, the Honda Center in Anaheim, for the action! And of course since all the conferences are competing against each other all rules have been thrown out the window and we will just talk about whatever we feel like!

[font size="4"]Layover League Championship: Idaho Vs Michigan:[/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

Well last time Idaho stunned the Batshit Conference by upsetting favorite #1 Virginia and upsetting the Batshit Conference for the first time in many years. And why is that? Because Idaho gun nuts are a special breed of insane. And since they can’t beat Oregon gun nuts, they’ve itching to take away a sizable portion of Oregon’s rural jurisdictions. But would that work or would that backfire on them big time? Well, it has the potential to do both. But instead we’re going to talk about another industry of Idaho – meat packing! Of which COVID is decimating the meat packing industry.

At least 23 employees working at a beef processing plant near Boise, Idaho, have tested positive for the coronavirus, health officials confirmed Saturday.

One additional employee is presumed to have the virus, and two other contract employees have tested positive, Central District Health spokesperson Christine Myron told the Idaho Statesman.

The majority of the employees have recovered, Myron said. Some of the employees who tested positive do not live in the Central District Health area, which serves Ada, Boise, Elmore and Valley counties.

Steve Cherry, CS Beef Packers plant manager, said in a statement that plant employees working in close proximity may have been exposed to the virus. Employees who are ill will remain at home until officials confirm they are recovered, Cherry said. Employees will be compensated for time away from work, he said.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/over-20-idaho-beef-plant-workers-sickened-with-coronavirus/ar-BB13QGz9?ocid=hplocalnews

Yes holy shit indeed! And by the way speaking of the stay at home orders, do we really need this douchebag as their spokesperson? I don’t need to remind you of what they turned that Oregon bird shelter into, or the mess they left off that freeway intersection in Reno. Yes, it’s the Bundy clan, and do we really need them fucking things up? Just when you think you can’t make a bad situation worse.

In the video, a man in a black cowboy hat and jacket stands on the sidewalk, offering his commentary on the arrest of Sara Brady, a Meridian woman who was arrested April 21 for trespassing after staging a protest at Kleiner Park, where some facilities had been closed due to COVID-19 concerns.

"It was a woman at a park with her children, and she was arrested," the man said. "Completely inappropriate—that's just the way it is. What will happen is, they'll grind her in the system that's called 'justice,' I guess, until they spit her out, until she's given up or you guys get your say. That's the way I see it, and I've been there."

Indeed, he has. The man in the video is Ammon Bundy, whose previous encounters with law enforcement include the standoff at his father's ranch in 2014 and another standoff at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Eastern Oregon, where he played a central role. The aforementioned video was shot from the sidewalk in front of the home of one of the officers involved in Brady's arrest, where dozens of people staged a protest the evening of the incident.

In a statement released on Facebook, the Meridian Police Employee Association expressed its frustration with both Brady and Bundy's protests, and shock at the intrusion into the private life of a police officer.

Read more: https://www.idahopress.com/boiseweekly/news/citydesk/ammon-bundy-protests-arrest-of-stay-home-order-dissenter-at-officers-home/article_953dec02-aa9f-5a18-a392-19e37b6a8c89.html

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So we’ve seen Idaho and how crazy their right wing is. Now let’s see Michigan. They’ve previously been hot players in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, but this year they’ve managed to top themselves going into the 2020 election. Because as you may or may not be aware, Michigan’s MAGAs and gun nuts have stormed the capitol and we are left with the stuff of pure insanity. See, the Trumpsters and MAGAs aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the light fixture. So when you fill their heads with propaganda that this is bad, well, this is what we get.

Dozens of angry Michiganders, fueled by conspiracy theories and disinformation about the coronavirus, are promoting violence and mobilizing armed rallies against Gov. Gretchen Whitmer on Facebook, in violation of the social media company’s policies.

Metro Times gained access to four private Facebook groups that can only be seen by approved members. The pages, which have a combined 400,000 members, are filled with paranoid, sexist, and grammar-challenged rants, with members encouraging violence and flouting the governor’s social-distancing orders.

On Sunday, after being contacted by Metro Times, Facebook removed one of the groups, Michigan United for Liberty, and deleted posts on others for violating the company’s policy against inciting violence. Facebook announced last month that it will remove groups and events that encourage people to defy social-distancing measures. Facebook also is investigating the other groups...

https://www.metrotimes.com/news-hits/archives/2020/05/11/whitmer-becomes-target-of-dozens-of-threats-on-private-facebook-groups-ahead-of-armed-rally-in-lansing

And in case you’re wondering just how far the Wolverine State is devolving thanks to everything that is going on, look no further than one of their flagship universities, Michigan State University. Based in Lansing, it’s right next to the state capitol. And well, last year, some shit went down involving an extremely racist incident. Look, government still has to go on people. We’ve still got business to conduct, but people are losing their minds.

-- A fight broke out on the steps of the Michigan Capitol Thursday morning during a protest aimed at Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and the ongoing state of emergency and stay-at-home orders.

J. Scott Park, an MLive photographer, witnessed the fight break out after a man carrying a garbage can filled with a sign, an ax and an American flag removed the flag from the can. Attached to the bottom of the flag was an unclothed doll with brown hair that was hanging from a noose.

Organizers of the protest called the display “hate speech” and when one protester tried to take the doll off the flag a skirmish broke out. The man who brought the flag fled away from the fight and to the lawn of the Capitol where Michigan State Police surrounded him.

The man was taken into the Capitol building following the altercation. Michigan State Police reported there were no injuries and no arrests were made.

MSP public information officer Lt. Brian Oleksyk said the man who brought the flag was interviewed by police and he will be allowed to press charges if he elects to.
https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2020/05/fight-erupts-at-michigan-capitol-over-doll-with-a-noose-around-neck.html?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mlivedotcom_sf&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3vuN5h96XDLJvThoguT6t0DMJCpa7_Iez9woeVxXb2i907siEoOZuCXsM&fbclid=IwAR262kX470s-cxHqLSwWi_umHzf3RioFxld7hMYf7SrA-weZ7nWAEDlJ6r0

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a winner!!!! Michigan sinks 8 unanswered in a row, they handily defeat Idaho by the score of 88 – 79. Idaho, you had a good run and we will see you next year. Michigan, come on down and cut that net!

[font size="4"]Flyover League Championship: Florida Vs Alabama:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

One of the biggest winners in the Stupidest State contest is undoubtedly Florida. Yes, America’s penis, the Sunshine State, always brings the stupid and crazy. I can always point out a million stories emphasizing the greatness of Florida Man. And well, Florida companies being run by Florida Men and Florida Women aren’t immune from this either. Because as we’ve said, business has to go on and it hasn’t stopped business from putting employees and property in reckless danger.

An Oveido construction company’s workers on faced cave-in hazards via safety violations OSHA classified as “Willful.”

Cathcart Construction faces fines of $303,611 from nine violations found at worksites in Orlando and Winter Garden, the Department of Labor announced.

Most of that proposed fine, $242,886, comes from the two “Willful” violations, one at each site. Of OSHA’s violation classifications, “Willful” is the worst, defined as “a violation in which the employer either knowingly failed to comply with a legal requirement (purposeful disregard) or acted with plain indifference to employee safety.”

The Citation and Notification of Penalty said on Jan. 10, at a sewer improvement project in Winter Garden, workers “were exposed to a cave-in/engulfment hazard” while toiling in a six-foot, one-inch deep, six-feet long, excavation next to traffic.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/business/article242531146.html

Yeah so Florida businesses got to be Florida businesses. But this might the most Florida thing to happen in 2020 and this is both for Florida and for 2020. Because in 2020 going to the beach in Florida is considered a death sentence, naturally, you got to have the Grim Reaper serve as a reminder of the problem that we’re facing. But yeah don’t be like Florida Man.

Uhlfelder is a staunch advocate for public beach access in the state, even butting heads with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, whose Florida Panhandle home is parked on a private beach. But allowing anyone on the beach during the pandemic is a mistake, he said -- one that could endanger the community.

"We aren't at the point now where we have enough testing, enough data, enough preparation for what's going to be coming to our state from all over the world from this pandemic," the lawyer told CNN.

Scythe in hand, he traveled to beaches around Walton County, Florida, that have reopened ahead of the state's planned May 4 reopening. "Phase One" of the reopening will allow restaurants and retailers to open at 25% capacity. Bars, salons and gyms will stay closed for now.
The beaches he visited Friday were "very crowded," he said.

"I know how beautiful and attractive our beaches are. But if we don't take measures to control things, this virus is going to get really, really out of control," he warned.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/01/us/grim-reaper-florida-beaches-trnd/index.html

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Florida’s next door neighbor, Alabama, is always guaranteed to do something equally as ridiculous as Florida is. While most states are weighing how to lift their “stay at home” orders amid the COVID-19 pandemic that’s destroyed lives and wrecked the economy beyond repair, Alabama is figuring how to deal with the situation. And we may also feature their governor Kay Ivey on a future “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. However, Alabama wins the Family Values Conference time and time again because, simply put, they don’t care about families.

Coronavirus fallout: Pay raises for Alabama teachers, state employees unlikely to happen
A Senate committee Tuesday approved a General Fund budget that rolls back spending increases — including pay raises for state employees — but doesn't eliminate agency funding increases entirely.

The $2.3 billion budget, approved by the Senate Finance and Taxation General Fund committee, would represent a $167.3 million increase (7.5%) over this year's budget.

Sen. Greg Albritton, R-Atmore, the chairman of the budget committee, said after the vote on Tuesday that the economic downturn was chiefly affecting taxes that go into the Education Trust Fund (ETF), which pays for most public education in the state.

"Most of the revenue plummeting that's going on appears to be affecting the ETF," he said. "We've done changes with the whole way we do the budget ... so that now we have a healthy General Fund budget. We're not searching between the sofa cushion for dollars."

Read more: https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2020/04/28/pay-raises-teachers-state-employees-unlikely-happen-year/3036184001/

Yeah that’s about how Alabama treats its’ working families. And by the way, the constitution doesn’t really matter when making tough decisions. Or maybe it does depending on who’s making the tough decisions that will keep us safe as opposed to, I don’t know, dying of a deadly disease that is turning your lungs inside out and frying your brain. Maybe when making decisions, don’t listen to people like this, especially if you’re the governor of Alabama or the president.

State Attorney General Steve Marshall on Tuesday warned Alabama cities not to stray from the state constitution when passing stricter regulations than Gov. Kay Ivey’s new coronavirus order.

Ivey announced Tuesday that the state stay-at-home order will expire Thursday at 5 p.m. in favor of a so-called “Safer at Home” order, where general retailers will be allowed to reopen at 50 percent capacity. Some restrictions from the stay-at-home order will still apply, including restaurants relegated to only curbside or take-out orders and bars remaining closed.

Some cities, including Birmingham, adopted new ordinances to help contain the coronavirus amid the governor’s new order. The Birmingham City Council approved an ordinance mandating residents wear masks when out in public, with exceptions for exercising.

“As the state begins to phase out of the stay-at-home order, municipalities are wrestling with individual and, in some cases, unique decisions regarding the preservation of the health and safety of their residents. In light of today’s announcement, some municipalities have already expressed their intent to impose or maintain more restrictive orders than the state," Marshall said in a statement. "Though Alabama law grants municipalities broad ‘police powers’ when it comes to protecting the public health and safety, these powers must be exercised within constitutional parameters. Municipalities are thus strongly advised to carefully balance the constitutional implications of imposing and enforcing more restrictive safety measures against the need for such measures. As case law tells us, the broadness of these police powers is not a license to abuse them.”

Read more: https://www.al.com/news/2020/04/marshall-warns-cities-not-to-stray-from-constitution-when-making-stricter-orders-than-state.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have another winner!!! Florida routes Alabama by a score of 18! They take the Flyover League and they’ll face Michigan in a showdown for the ages! Final score: 99 – 81. Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Stupidest State championship! Michigan. Florida. One of these two states will be crowned the 2020 Stupidest State champion! We will be there with the contest and crown our 2020 reigning champion! The champagne is on ice!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="4"]AWOLNATION[/font]

Folks I know we can’t have live bands for the foreseeable future but I do have a new song from a band I love, LA’s AWOLNATION. This is called “Pacific Coast Highway” and features Rivers Cuomo from Weezer!

See you next week for our 8th season finale!

Credits

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
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May 13, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is our 200th show everybody! And unfortunately I won’t get to have the live audience spectacular that my staff and my crew so richly deserve. But we will get through this and when we get to #250 next year then we will go all out assuming that this wretched virus is gone. But also this is not the way that I wanted to start, but we’re going to the late, great Mr. Jerry Stiller! Of course you know him as the father of actor Ben Stiller who has starred in such movies as Tropic Thunder and Dodgeball. But to me, one of my favorite TV shows has always been Seinfeld. And Frank Costanza, the father of George Costanza, was arguably one of the funniest characters on the entire series of Seinfeld. Not to mention the way he interacted with George’s mom, the equally funny Estelle Harris, and that was magic. So this week we will be paying tribute to Mr. Stiller throughout this edition with some of Frank Costanza’s best moments. Whether it was him giving a tour of a restroom, or him fighting an unhinged Elaine at the police station, or him screaming at Morty Seinfeld about taking up residency at the new Florida condo Del Boca Vista, we’ll always remember Frank Costanza. Oh and there was also my favorite moment, the infamous “Feats Of Strength” which happened during the celebration of Festivus in “The Strike”. So throughout this edition, we will be paying tribute to the late, great Jerry Stiller. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the extremely dire situation that the USPS is in thanks to the shithead virus and our equally shithead president:

At least for our 200th show, we won’t bog you down or bum you out with all the news surrounding the shithead virus that’s been impacting our live and taking a toll on us mentally, physically, and emotionally. Well in the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1) and well, as the old saying goes, “he who denied it, supplied it”. Taking the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). He managed to escape the tepid boredom of being at the White House all day, went to Arizona, and it was quite the shit show. At slot #3, is our old buddy Jacob Wohl (3). Yes he is back and his latest attempt to pay someone to scream sexual harassment, backfired on him big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is an all new “We’re All Gonna Die” (4). And if you think that the coronavirus is bad, wait until you see the killer hornets that Asia has sent our way! Can we have a doover on 2020 please? In the fifth slot this week is a new Top 10 Investigates (5) and what exactly happened in Mississippi? It turns out that a state audit has uncovered some huge money being spent very foolishly. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and is COVID taking a huge dump on your religious rights? Our resident pastor is here to tell you the easy answer to that question – “no”. In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – it is really time to put to rest the rumors surrounding Joe Biden and Tara Reade, because well, the more you argue about it, the more foolish you look. At slot #8 this week is the return of the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, and that is “Conspiracy Corner” (8). Was Trump justified in his firing of disgraced FBI director James Comey? Quick! To the Q Mobile! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is an all new People Are Dumb (9) and the pandemic hasn’t stopped people from being stupid! Finally this week, Stupidest State Round 2 draws to a close as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against red hot #4 Nebraska! And to top it off, we’re going to celebrate our 200th edition with the new Rolling Stones song, appropriately titled “Living In A Ghost Town”! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey Trump! Remember that thing you said was a hoax and that it would just blow over by February and that we’d all get back to normal and live the lives we were supposed to be living? Well guess what? Not only is it very real, it’s killed 81,000 to date (in republican numbers, that’s 25,250 Benghazis). It is living and breathing inside that government owned building that you’ve claimed as your residence, and it’s infected your staff! And it’s probably infected you too, you just don’t know it yet. But how did we get here? Well they keep denying it, downplaying it and blaming it on somebody else, because that’s how the “take no responsibility” party rolls. As the saying goes from my grade school years, he who denied it, supplied it!

On the night of Saturday, May 9, President Donald Trump tweeted five Fox News clips: One from Sean Hannity’s Hannity, two from Jeanine Pirro’s Justice With Judge Jeanine, and two from Jesse Watters’ Watters’ World.

All of the clips were about a supposed “coup d’état,” as the Fox anchors called it, committed by the Obama administration during the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election. "Obamagate, that's the subject of tonight's 'Watters Words'" segment, Watters said. "The Obama people got caught this week and it looks like it goes straight to the top."

But just what is Obamagate?

Although the #Obamagate hashtag has been popular across all major platforms, it has also elicited confusion from people not tapped into the inscrutable narratives of Trump’s fervent online base.

And the president did little to clear up the confusion in a press conference on Monday afternoon: "Obamagate, it's been going on for a long time, it's been going on from before I even got elected,” the president said. Asked specifically what crime he was accusing Obama of, the president declined to answer. "You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanhatesthis/obamagate-hashtag-twitter-covid19-positive-white-house

Remember not even last week when Vice President Jared Kushner said that by July this country would be rocking? Well, this is more like “drop it like your blood clots”. So the Coronavirus has officially come to the White House. But who’s got it? And what could happen? And why was Trump allowed to go to Arizona last week? So many questions and not enough answers!

Over one dozen people in the White House have tested positive for the coronavirus within the last week — and many of them are thought to have come into contact with President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.

The slew of new cases has prompted the White House to crack down on their coronavirus policies. From the beginning, Trump and his administration have been criticized for failing to maintain social distancing guidelines and not wearing face masks in public.

But now, President Trump has ordered the use of face masks within the West Wing. Secret Service agents have been reportedly told to cover their faces when they come in contact with the president, even though Trump himself refuses to wear one.

Additionally, Trump and Pence are reportedly maintaining their distance from one another in order to lower the risk of exposure.
https://www.businessinsider.com/photos-show-inside-the-white-house-handling-the-coronavirus-crisis-2020-5

Hey you know what? Let’s expand this a bit. Yeah Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance because Trump’s probably got it! And I wouldn’t be surprised if Pence had it either. Shit, the entire staff is probably infected at this point. But let’s all point out how much of a fucking terrible idea this is, and that it could have serious consequences. Especially if Trump wants to open up the country and hold his stupid MAGA rallies again!

The White House is testing its staff for coronavirus using a device that has been criticized for giving false negatives.

The New York Times reported that the White House is using the ID Now rapid testing system, which can give results in less than 13 minutes.

However, one study in late April found that it was showing a false negative in around 15% of cases — a result affirmed by the director of the National Institutes of Health.

Abbott Laboratories, the test maker, said around the same time that its tests can indeed produce false negatives in certain conditions.

It said that false negatives can occur when used with samples which are dissolved in liquid. It said the tests work properly when a swab with the sample is put directly into the device.
https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-white-house-test-staff-kits-accused-false-negatives-2020-5

OMFG. Trump really thinks he’s going to test the whole country? I am absolutely shocked (not) that the tests are providing false positives. Hell, if you think Trump’s the guy to trust in reopening the country, I have a can of magical silver solution to sell you! And you can wash it down with a boba shake made from Clorox and Tide Pods. Love that visual! But Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance for now, it seems.

President Trump and Vice President Pence will be "maintaining their distance in the immediate future" on the advice of the White House Medical Unit, a senior administration official told NPR. They were last seen together at the White House on Thursday.

At a Monday White House briefing, which the president attended but the vice president did not, Trump suggested that he might be keeping his distance from Pence for the time being.

"We can talk on the phone," Trump said.

Last week, the press secretary for Pence and a military valet for the president tested positive for the coronavirus.

Pence and others who were in contact with the coronavirus patients have since tested negative, but the virus can take days to incubate. The cases have heightened concerns about the nation's ability to safely reopen.
https://www.npr.org/2020/05/11/853720236/watch-trump-holds-briefing-after-white-house-staffers-test-positive-for-coronavi

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

Hey look, we got to talk about Trump’s taste in music for a minute. Am I the only one who’s alarmed by the fact that he plays the Rolling Stones’ classic song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” at the end of his rallies? Let’s dissect the message he’s trying to tell us – you can’t always get what you want, but if you try some times, you get what you need. So when Trump got bored and stir crazy and decided to hop Air Force One to Arizona to tour a Honeywell plant that recently converted to manufacturing PPE to help deal with our current coronavirus crisis. How did that work out? Well, in the words of Trump’s favorite song, you can’t always get what you want.

As President Trump attempts to project an image of America rising out of quarantine and beginning to reopen, he traveled on Tuesday to an Arizona factory that's expanded into production of N95 face masks to respond to the coronavirus pandemic.

And while the trip was in part meant to tell a positive story about the Trump administration's response, it also highlights the challenges of the moment.

Arizona remains under a modified stay-at-home order until May 15, though Republican Gov. Doug Ducey allowed some retail establishments to begin to open voluntarily Monday. The state hasn't yet notched the two consecutive weeks of reduced COVID-19 cases called for as a first step in the White House guidelines for reopening. In fact, the number of confirmed cases in the state is on the rise.

And Trump's trip itself was anything but normal. Those traveling with the president or coming in close proximity to him in Arizona were tested for the coronavirus.

Attendees to the president's remarks, about 70 or so people, wore masks and were seated spaced apart from one another.
https://www.npr.org/2020/05/05/850102811/trump-returns-to-the-road-with-arizona-trip-to-mask-maker

Yeah these are the kind of people who would literally press the button that says “do not press button” and they actually did that {see: Top 10 #3-5 ). Yes, the Trump administration are literally the people why we need “do not touch” signs because, owning the libs. Now here is where it gets weird. While touring the factory, the workers blasted the Guns N Roses version of the classic Paul McCartney James Bond theme “Live And Let Die” and well, you can’t make this up.

President Donald Trump did not wear a face mask — as is recommended by health officials to aid in preventing the spread of COVID-19 — during his tour of a Honeywell factory in Phoenix, Arizona on Tuesday.

As Trump toured the factory, which is producing N95 masks for the federal government, he and other officials wore safety glasses but did not wear masks. In a clip from Reuters, at one point on the tour, workers blasted Guns N’ Roses’ cover of the James Bond theme song from Wings, “Live and Let Die.” As Trump spoke to a worker that was wearing a mask, he could barely be heard over the din as he asked how many masks were made in a day and the worker’s response is hard to discern. Afterward, Trump gave a thumbs up to the camera. A sign in the factory stated that masks were required in the factory, per CNBC.

Trump, who early into the coronavirus pandemic advised against masks, has refused to wear them despite mounting recommendations from health experts advising everyone to do so. Though he told reporters prior to his factory visit that he would wear a mask if it was mandatory at the factory, a White House official said Honeywell told the White House that masks did not need to be worn, according to CNBC.

In April, Vice President Mike Pence, who is head of the White House’s coronavirus task force, ignored Mayo Clinic’s policy of requiring a face mask. Instead, Pence toured the medical facility and visited patients maskless.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-tours-factory-maskless-live-and-let-die-song-994546/

So that happened. It’s one of those things that you literally cannot make up no matter how hard you try, and believe me, we’ve tried here. And by the way, Axl is no fan of Trump. But when one of the biggest rock stars in the world takes on one of the guys with the biggest ego in the world, well, let’s just say it’s on like Donkey Kong! Really this might be the most 2020 thing to happen to 2020 so far, and we’re only 5 months into this year.

Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose didn't hold back on his view of Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, setting off a Twitter spat during the middle of a global pandemic.
"It's official! Whatever anyone may have previously thought of Steve Mnuchin he's officially an [a**hole,]" Rose tweeted Wednesday night.
Less than two hours later, Mnuchin hit back at Rose, with a now-deleted tweet "What have you done for the country lately?" that some pointed out included an emoji of the flag of Liberia. Mnuchin tweeted the snarky response again and included an emoji of the American flag.
Rose took a jab at Mnuchin's flag mixup and responded, "unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths."

"My bad I didn't get we're hoping 2 emulate Liberia's economic model but on the real unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths n' unlike u I don't hold a fed gov position of responsibility 2 the American people n' go on TV tellin them 2 travel the US during a pandemic," he tweeted, apparently referencing Mnuchin's comments during an interview with Fox Business Network on Monday.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/07/politics/axl-rose-steve-mnuchin/index.html

Let’s get it on!!! By the way after what’s happening in our first entry this week, future mask factory photo op tours and campaign rallies won’t be happening because well, Trump doesn’t care if he has the virus and who he could give it to. Plus, who would want to be associated with him after the disaster at Honeywell? Well, this is becoming quite insane and don’t expect Trump to follow the rules any time soon.

A Pennsylvania mask factory postponed a visit from President Donald Trump last week because it worried that the event could spread the coronavirus among workers.

The Washington Post reported on Monday that Trump was due to visit a Braskem factory on Friday to thank workers who are making personal protective equipment.

Citing documents and two people familiar with the decision, The Post said factory bosses asked to postpone the visit over concerns that Trump's visit could jeopardize workers' safety and harm the factory's ability to make the materials for masks and other medical supplies.

Trump and Vice President Mike Pence have been criticized for how they have handled similar events.

In early May, Trump was pictured touring a Honeywell mask-making factory without wearing a mask himself, though he later said he wore a mask "backstage."
https://www.businessinsider.com/mask-factory-cancels-trump-visit-over-coronavirus-spread-concerns-2020-5

[font size="8"]Jacob Wohl
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Answer me this: Are right wing smear artists like Jacob Wohl and Project Veritas just really shitty at their jobs? Every time they are in the news for attempting to smear people for not telling the supposed truth about Trump, it seems to blow up and backfire in their faces. But like a deranged Wile E. Coyote, they keep coming back for more. So what’s the latest blow up from the right wing smear artist? Well, this time, their target was the one guy who’s trying to keep us from dying in large numbers, and that’s Dr. Fauci. But we caught their latest scheme before it even happened, and even the people who it happened to didn’t even really know that it happened!

Last month, right-wing provocateurs Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman called another in a series of hapless press conferences designed to impugn their political enemies. This time they claimed to bring forward a woman to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci, the 79-year-old head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, of sexually assaulting her at a Four Seasons hotel in 2014.

The woman later contacted a journalist at Reason to 'fess up: She said she was Wohl's ex-girlfriend and the duo had paid her thousands of dollars to make the false accusation under a fake name. What's more, she had the tapes to prove it.

"The reality is that I've known Jacob since 2018 and that he charmed me into taking money to do this," she wrote, pointing to a photo of her sitting on Wohl's lap, which he had posted to Instagram months prior.

The smears — which have also targeted Democratic presidential candidates Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, attorney Michael Avenatti and former special counsel Robert Mueller — have successfully raised Wohl's national profile. They have also raised significant questions about his possible liability for slander, libel, bribery, extortion and fraud.
https://www.salon.com/2020/05/11/right-wing-smear-artist-jacob-wohl-has-a-long-dubious-history-will-he-finally-go-to-prison/

Oh yeah, no question sir. He really is too stupid to insult. Now here’s where this story gets weird, because why wouldn’t it? It’s no mistake that the GOP has been on a massive disinformation campaign to discredit Dr. Fauci and the entire lockdown movement. But why the hell would he make advancements toward a woman who’s half his age? Well because Jacob Wohl is a deeply disturbed individual, like most hardcore Trumpsters.

A 26-year-old woman named Diana Andrade says that right-wing fraudsters Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman paid her to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci of sexual assault.

Dr. Fauci, of course, is director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and a notable member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus task force who actually contradicts the president’s numerous lies about COVID-19.

Around April 27, Andrade (using the name Diana Rodriguez) initially claimed that in 2014, when she was 20 years old, she met Fauci at the bar of the Four Seasons Hotel in Washington, D.C.

“He looked rich and powerful, and I love smart men with grey hair,” she wrote. “He told me all about his fantastic career in medicine, so I went upstairs [to his room].”

After some sort of alleged “ineffective hotel bed wrestling” occurred, she claimed she managed “to flee with her honor intact,” adding, “Now, when I see him on TV touted as some kind of hero, I want the nation to know the truth. This is my truth. This is my story.”
https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2020/05/republican-hacks-paid-26-year-old-woman-to-accuse-dr-fauci-of-sexual-assault/

Hey, that’s my move, damn it! Hotel bed wrestling? Who does that? And I’m not talking about what Trump did in that Moscow hotel with those Russian hookers. Allegedly! Allegedly!!! Seriously, these are some creepy motherfuckers. And really why the hell are you trying to take down the one guy who’s trying to save your life? Because well, money talks and bullshit walks.

I'd just finished Saturday morning's second cup of coffee when an email popped through, subject line: "Exposing Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman."

"Hi Nancy, I hope you are having a nice weekend. I feel very bad about lying to you and others about Dr. Fauci. I took it upon myself to call Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman and record them (see attached)… Many thanks and again, I feel very bad about all this. I apologize to you, the other reporters and Dr. Fauci."

The writer of the email identified herself as Diana Andrade. I had never before emailed with Andrade, but had spoken with her 10 days earlier, when I knew her as "Diana Rodriguez." At that time, Rodriguez alleged that when she was 20 years old, in 2014, she'd been sexually assaulted by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and one of the most visible faces in the government's response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the exploits of Wohl and Burkman, they are pro-Trump provocateurs who've found a niche drumming up fake sexual harassment allegations that end comically badly, including against former FBI Director Robert Mueller (who turned out to have been serving jury duty the day he was supposed to have committed the assault) and Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren (the press conference for which took place on Burkman's stoop, and whose supposed victim was a 24-year-old Marine).*
https://reason.com/2020/05/07/she-said-anthony-fauci-sexually-assaulted-her-now-she-says-jacob-wohl-and-jack-burkman-paid-her-to-lie/

Man even Dave Grohl thinks you done fucked up! But really these morons are the world’s shittiest intelligence agents. It’s no wonder that we’re in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century – you have a nation of morons, you get a moron president. And really, just like coronavirus, this is one thing that you really don’t want to spread. Or even at the very least be caught spreading.

The coronavirus outbreak has made Dr. Anthony Fauci, longtime director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, a household name.

As beloved as he is in some corners, Fauci is loathed in others. He has increasingly weathered attacks from conservatives and conspiracy theorists who disagree with his cautionary approach to the deadly virus and view him as a “deep state” enemy of President Donald Trump.

Last month, as the threats escalated, Fauci was assigned a security detail.

The latest attack on him comes in the form of an accusation of sexual assault.

Earlier this week, the Daily Dot received a press release from a woman claiming that Fauci sexually assaulted her in 2014. The release included the details of the allegation and said she and her representatives plan to hold a press conference on Tuesday in Washington, D.C.

All allegations of this nature are given equal consideration. But the more the Daily Dot looked into the details, the more things didn’t add up. The accuser didn’t respond to multiple requests to speak with her.
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/dr-fauci-smear-campaign-sexual-assualt/

[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Wooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Wooooooooo!! Woooooo! Wooo. Woo. Well, if the coronavirus doesn’t get you, then a new breed of killer hornets might get you! And be prepared to say goodbye to honey because it might be going the way of the dodo if these hornets from Japan have anything to say about it! And in the words of GOB from Arrested Development, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey. Because these killer hornets, which have been dubbed the “murder hornets” are nothing to fuck with. Just to think we’ve dealt with every disaster imaginable in 2020, well, we haven’t seen anything yet!

Even as the US remains under attack from the coronavirus outbreak, a new terror has arrived: "murder hornets".

The 2-inch (5cm) long Asian giant hornets, Vespa mandarinia, have been found in Washington state.

Multiple stings are deadly to humans and in their "slaughter phase" the hornets destroy honeybees, whose bodies they feed to their young.

Scientists are now on a hunt for the hornets, hoping to eradicate the species before they wipe out US bees.

Although they typically avoid people, in Asia, "murder hornet" stings are thought to cause as many as 50 human fatalities a year, according to the New York Times.

The hornets made their first North American appearance in August 2019, in British Columbia, Canada. Months later, in December 2019, the flying insects were reported south of the border in Washington state.
https://www.bbc.com/news/52533585

Yeah GOB’s not on board. But are these killer “murder hornets” really something to be frightened about with everything else that’s going on? Or could they just be another harmless mutation of an even scarier super bug? How dangerous of a killer insect are we talking about here? Well we might want to actually read about these things before we start freaking out. I mean come on 2020, throw everything you’ve got at us, we can take it!

The Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia) has arrived in North America. In the past several days photographs and videos have surfaced showing how viciously this insect has attacked honeybees elsewhere in the world: it crawls into hives and rips off the heads of bees in large numbers—making its supervillain nickname, “murder hornet,” feel disturbingly apt. U.S. government agencies and local beekeepers have sprung into action, hoping to eradicate the hornet—thus far seen just in Washington State and nearby Vancouver Island—before it can consolidate a foothold in the continent. Success may lie in how predator and prey interact naturally.

V. mandarinia is the largest hornet in the world. A female worker may grow to a length of nearly four centimeters (an inch and a half), and the insect has large biting mouthparts that enable it to decapitate its victims. Hornets are usually solitary hunters. But between late summer and fall, V. mandarinia workers may band together to conduct mass attacks on nests of other social insects, notably honeybees. This behavior even has a name: the slaughter and occupation phase. U.S. beekeepers supply billions of honeybees each year to help pollinate at least 90 agricultural crops. And they are worried that this new raider could further worsen already deep losses in important pollinator populations.

The hornet is native to Asia, ranging from Japan and Russia down to Thailand and Myanmar (formerly Burma). The first confirmed U.S. sighting was a dead specimen found in Washington last December. But several of the insects had previously been seen on Vancouver Island in British Columbia in the late summer and fall of 2019.⁠ No one yet knows whether the hornet is establishing a North American beachhead in the Pacific Northwest or if it will spread from there. If it does advance, that could mean trouble.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/just-how-dangerous-is-the-murder-hornet/

Ha, that episode is a fucking classic. But how are we going to spread the murder hornets? Well maybe not as much as coronavirus, and there’s no chance in hell these are coming to your neighborhood any time soon. It’s not like the dinosaurs and other unspeakable creatures at the end of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Oh spoilers? Come on, fuck that movie. And really we don’t need another disaster movie right now, since the entire world is a disaster thanks to coronavirus. But yeah in the terms of how the murder hornets could be spread, well, there’s a few things that would have to happen first.

When news of the Asian giant hornet’s arrival in the United States first broke, the public was understandably worried: First the coronavirus, now “murder hornets”? What’s next, three days of darkness?

But bug experts from Washington, where the hornet was discovered in the U.S., to California agree that the 2-inch hornet is probably not worth all the buzz it has generated — at least not yet.

“It’s not an existential threat; it’s something that can be managed. You just have to know that they’re there and take the necessary steps,” said Doug Yanega, senior museum scientist at UC Riverside’s Entomology Research Museum. He helped Washington scientists identify the hornets when they were first found.

“It’s like letting a virus spread — you don’t want to let your guard down.”
https://www.latimes.com/science/story/2020-05-06/murder-hornets-theyre-probably-not-as-bad-as-you-think

I like how confident that guy is. But we’re not gonna die just yet. Really people it’s time to calm the fuck down about the murder hornets. We’ve got more important things to worry about, and even bug experts think that we shouldn’t worry too much about the murder hornets. They’re really a non-issue in the bigger picture of things. But when it comes to listening to the experts, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey.

A superhero apparently awaits in the wings, ready to put a halt to the demented hornets.

But let’s take a moment to first figure out what the real story is about these seemingly and unabashedly notorious hornets.

Properly known as the Vespa mandarinia, this inch-and-a-half mega-sized hornet is considered a non-native species of the United States (they normally reside in Eastern Asia), and some of them in the Fall of 2019 were able to somehow “invade” into Vancouver Island, Canada, and also ended-up across the border into Washington state.

Efforts have been undertaken by wildlife entomologists and related specialists to find the hornet intruders and attempt to eradicate them.

According to the National Wildlife Federation, there have been no verified reports of the species in this year of 2020 as being spotted in the United States, and “there is currently no cause to believe that any of these hornets are still present in Canada or the U.S.” (per a May 8, 2020 posting by the NWF).
https://www.forbes.com/sites/lanceeliot/2020/05/11/the-vaunted-murder-hornet-could-ominously-be-spread-by-the-advent-of-ai-self-driving-cars/#1173408d5853

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Mississippi Audit Scandal
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

When greed and corruption happen at all walks of life, who is to blame? Well there’s many different levels of greed that happen all around us. We go to Mississippi for this story. Where there’s a tale of corruption and greed that is dwarfing and even eclipsing the Enron scandal. It appears that an audit of Mississippi’s financial assets revealed some absolutely ridiculous spending on some very lavish and unnecessary items. And when we say unnecessary items, we mean luxury sports cars, expensive houses, and much much more. Think of this as the Enron scandal, circa 2020. And we can’t even get out much right now.

Money meant to help poor residents was used to buy luxury cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament and hire family members of a top state official, according to a report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofit groups, which allegedly spent the cash in inappropriate or questionable ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report – alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He said, "If there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/05/04/mississippi-welfare-scandal-audit-shows-94-million-questionable-spending/3080541001/

So in a time when the entire economy is entering levels not seen since the Great Depression because of social distancing measures, what’s $94 million in wasted government spending? This is the kind of government spending that the GOP warned us about. Not only that, how did celebrities like Brett Farve get involved in this? Because this is the kind of fraud that is well, beyond fraud. At least Farve is off the hook.

A nonprofit group caught up in an embezzlement scheme in Mississippi used federal welfare money to pay former NFL quarterback Brett Favre $1.1 million for multiple speaking engagements, but Favre did not show up for the events, the state auditor said Monday.

Details about payments to Favre are included in an audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services. State auditor Shad White said his employees identified $94 million in questionable spending by the agency, including payments for sports activities with no clear connection to helping needy people in one of the poorest states of the U.S.

Favre, who lives in Mississippi, faces no criminal charges. The audit report lists the payments to him as "questioned" costs, which White said means "auditors either saw clear misspending or could not verify the money had been lawfully spent." The Associated Press on Monday sent questions to Favre by text message and left a message for him with his longtime agent Bus Cook, and Favre did not immediately respond.

Favre also did not immediately respond to ESPN's request for comment.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/29139299/brett-favre-name-arises-amid-mississippi-welfare-scandal

That’s Farva. Not Farve. We had a typo in our search engine there. But not only was Brett Farve name dropped in this bizarre scandal, there was also some big name wrestlers in this thing that were being hired for motivational speaking gigs, never performed, but still got paid very well. This must be nice in this day and age to get paid this kind of money for not really doing anything.

Ted DiBiase, the former professional wrestler, has placed his lakeside home in Madison, MS, on the market. The ostentatious grappler once known as the “Million Dollar Man” is seeking $1,575,000 for the French Colonial retreat.

He and his family were recently named in a report by the Mississippi auditor's office as recipients of anti-poverty funds that were misspent on items unrelated to assisting the poor.

On 1.42 acres overlooking Reunion Lake, the “thoughtfully designed” residence covers nearly 6,000 square feet. Built in 2010, the home features five bedrooms and 5.5 baths, with a floor plan designed to take in lake views.

The main level includes a large foyer, private study, formal dining room, and living room. The family room is adjacent to a large kitchen with high-end appliances and finishes.
https://www.sfgate.com/realestate/article/Amid-Audit-Scandal-WWE-Hall-of-Famer-Ted-DiBiase-15256541.php

Yeah sure so the government of Mississippi just name dropped all Mississippi celebrities in a bizarre audit and wasteful spending. So Mississippi might be SOL when it comes to a wasteful spending spree, and these days that kind of money might be hard to find. But certainly they are not the only ones out there. The government of Mississippi is just the ones who got caught. And expect many more where that came from.

Money meant to help poor Mississippians was instead used to buy expensive cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament, hire family members of a top state official and pay Brett Favre for speeches he never gave, according to a new report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofits, which then frequently spent the cash in inappropriate or suspicious ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report — alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He added that "if there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."
https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/politics/2020/05/04/ms-welfare-scandal-audit-94-m-questionable-spending/3076949001/

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Should we be shocked at the behavior coming from our fellow zealots on the right lately? No, I didn’t think so. Well, the Great Pandemic is not only a testament to the greatness and the worst that man can achieve, did you know that it is also a spiritual battle for your very soul? Because there’s a holy war brewing against the EVIL known as social distancing. This is not something that the good LAWRD would have ever envisioned! It’s not “love thy neighbor” as the good LAWRD JAYSUS would have you believe! No! instead, it’s a war for your very SOULS! Because the good LAWRD is using this as a time of spiritual revival.

Jerry Boykin, a retired lieutenant general who once led U.S. special forces, discussed the coronavirus during last week’s online event promoting “The Return,” a prayer-and-politics rally being convened by End Times author Jonathan Cahn. Boykin claimed that “everybody” he knows understands that COVID-19 came out of a lab in China—many scientists have publicly rejected the lab theory—and he suggested that the release of the virus was a “deliberate attack,” while acknowledging that the evidence is inconclusive. But Boykin was “hopeful and enthusiastic” that “we are seeing right now the beginning of a revival or Great Awakening” as more people are turning to God during the pandemic.

As the executive vice president of the Family Research Council and a member of POTUS Shield’s leadership council, Boykin serves as a bridge between traditional religious-right political groups and dominionist Pentecostal leaders who are among Trump’s most ardent supporters.

“We look at this COVID thing and we ask, ‘How can anything good come out of it?’ Well, Bible sales are up and online sermons are seeing record numbers of people coming to Christ,” Boykin said. “Now, you know, there’s a flip side, too, and that is that a lot of people are getting into pornography now, and the church is going to have a big burden to try and help people get off of it when this is all over with.”

During the livestream, which was hosted by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia, Cahn said that God changed the course of the nation by putting Ronald Reagan in the White House in response to a prayer event held at the U.S. Capitol in 1980. He mentioned that 1980 was also the year of the failed attempt to rescue American hostages being held in Iran, which ended in a disastrous helicopter collision in the desert. Amedia said Cahn’s mention of the failed Iran mission “put chills down my back” because Boykin had taken part in that mission.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerry-boykin-says-covid-19-may-have-been-deliberate-attack-by-china-but-god-is-using-it-to-bring-revival/

Now Reverend, need I remind you that before the outbreak you guys were the ones who were cheerleading for the apocalypse? Now that we’ve got a taste of what Armageddon might be like, you guys are suddenly walking back on your comments? Really now. But if we want to get back to the fun times we had before the pandemic, Brother Jim is back and he’s got some more snake oil to sell you!

End Times pastor Jim Bakker has been facing various financial and legal problems ever since he used a February episode of his television program to promote a silver solution sold by his network by suggesting it could possibly kill the coronavirus and heal those who have been infected.

Bakker is currently being sued by Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt “for misrepresentations about the effectiveness of ‘Silver Solution’ as a treatment for 2019 novel coronavirus.” Yesterday, Bakker’s legal team issued a press release announcing that it had filed a motion to dismiss the lawsuit against Bakker, who they claim “is being unfairly targeted by those who want to crush his ministry and force his Christian television program off the air … This case is about religious freedom.”

The motion to dismiss contains a sworn statement from Maricela Woodall, who is Bakker’s adopted daughter and the Chief Operating Officer of Bakker’s Morningside Church ministry. Woodall asserts that Morningside considers Bakker’s daily television program to be a religious service and everything Bakker says on it to be a sermon directed at his congregation.

Woodall and Morningside insist that Bakker’s silver solution was “made available to this generation by God” for the benefit of their viewers and therefore any attempt to hold Bakker accountable for falsely promoting it as a coronavirus cure is an unconstitutional attack on Bakker’s religious liberty.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/preventing-jim-bakker-from-selling-a-bogus-covid-19-cure-is-an-unconstitutional-restriction-on-his-religious-liberty-says-his-legal-team/

Now I am going to use that excuse in everything I do from now on. See? My solution was made available by GAWD!!! But with your accusations and conspiracy theories and fake cures, is it any wonder why GAWD is getting pissed? Well with friends like these, who needs enemies? This whole thing is really getting out of hand, and as your pastor, I am here to say.. fuck it. Can I get an amen???

Anti-abortion activist Alveda King implied last week that New York has been hit so hard by the COVID-19 pandemic because it is “the home of abortion.” Religious-right leaders routinely portray the U.S. as deserving of God’s wrath for permitting legal abortion.

King made her comments on a Wednesday night online gathering called by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia to promote “The Return,” a religious-right pre-election rally being planned for Sept. 26 on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. King, who is a member of the POTUS Shield leadership council, said she would be attending “The Return.”

On the call, Amedia asked King to talk about the topic of abortion, saying that “too many children have died, and the blood is crying out to our Lord.” Amedia reminded listeners that he has prophesied that God would allow President Donald Trump to name three Supreme Court justices and enough lower court judges to change the law of the land. Trump has an “assignment of God” to do away with abortion, Amedia said, which is a reason that POTUS Shield supports Trump:

But the biggest thing that I see, the biggest function we have, is we have a man that God has put his hand upon, and he has assignments, and one of the biggest assignments of all—besides busting up the Babylonian system and dealing with China, and all the other mantles that have fallen upon this single man—is the life of the unborn children. And that’s an assignment of God. And we have to see that all the way through, and we need to see that through to its conclusion … God cannot close his eyes to the murder of children and putting children on the altar and the sacrifice of our own selfishness and humanism.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alveda-king-implies-covid-19-hit-new-york-so-hard-because-it-is-the-home-of-abortion/

Really? You know it’s not just children, there’s a whole lot of us that are going to die before all this is settled and the Great Pandemic goes away. By the way, in the middle of the worst pandemic in a century, here’s what our brothers and sisters on the right really think of you. Rather than wanting you to vote by mail which is the safe thing to do, the right would rather send you to die at the ballot box because, drum roll, voter fraud!

President Donald Trump’s political operation is battling efforts to expand vote-by-mail and his religious-right backers are helping lead the charge. On Intercessors for America’s monthly prayer call on May 1, True the Vote leader Catherine Engelbrecht told a group of pro-Trump prayer warriors that the struggle over expanded vote-by-mail is a “spiritual battle” for “control of the free world.”

Voting rights advocates and public officials around the country are working to expand voters’ ability to vote by mail in response to the public health risks that voting in person pose this year. (Dozens of cases of COVID-19 have been linked to voters and election workers from Wisconsin’s April 7 elections.) But Trump’s political operation is spending tens of millions of dollars to expand “its legal effort to stop Democrats from overhauling voting laws in response to the coronavirus pandemic,” Politico reported Thursday.

Intercessors for America and True the Vote are on board. Engelbrecht claimed on IFA’s call that the expansion of vote-by-mail is an effort to “absolutely destroy free and fair elections.”

True the Vote describes itself as a nonpartisan “citizen-led movement” working for “free and fair elections.” It has a track record of challenging voter registrations, supporting voter ID laws and voter-roll purges, and fielding election observers who provoked allegations of voter intimidation. It is planning to field off-duty police officers and veterans to patrol polling places this year.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/fight-over-vote-by-mail-is-spiritual-battle-for-control-of-the-free-world-says-true-the-vote-leader/

Well we will be having signups because that’s exactly what the right doesn’t want! It’s not a spiritual battle for your soul, it’s a spiritual battle for your vote! And they are voting for the Dark One! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Joe Biden Allegations
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Look, people, look. Joe Biden, our presumptive democratic nominee for 2020, has his issues as being a bit of a creeper (see: Top 10 #6-14 ). But here’s the thing - there’s no credibility here among this latest series of allegations. And since the shit hit the fan with the Coronavirus, this should be like last on our list of priorities to investigate right now, don’t you think? And why are we investigating at this stage in the game? Well, conservatives love to investigate their political opponents because they’re emboldened by AM talk radio, Fox News, and the clergy. But really, get over the fact that he sniffed some people’s necks. This might be creepy behavior sure, but Biden has nothing on Trump!

A woman has filed a police report claiming that presidential candidate Joe Biden sexually assaulted her in 1993, according to reports.

Tara Reade filed a criminal complaint with the Washington Metropolitan Police Department of accusing the 2020 Democratic nomination of pushing her against the wall in a Senate corridor and penetrating her with his fingers, according to Business Insider.

The alleged incident occurred while Reade was working as a Senate staffer for Biden nearly 30 years ago.

Reade first made the claims against Biden last month. In a tweet, Reade thanked those who helped her come forward with the allegations, as well as "luminaries" who have supported her such as Susan Sarandon, John Cusack, and Rose McGowan.

Reade also confirmed that the statute of limitations around the claims against Biden have passed.

"I filed a police report for safety reasons only. All crim [sic] stats beyond limitations. Gratitude for all who have stood by me," Reade tweeted.
https://www.newsweek.com/joe-biden-sexual-assault-police-tara-reade-1497391

Eh… not really. As I said in the previous entry on this, on the creeper scale, Joe Biden is most definitely a 1 out of 10. Trump is easily a 9.5 out of 10. He might have to issue a few more quaaludes, Cosby style,sd to qualify for a full 10 out of 10. So why wait until the primaries are over for this, as the Dude says, new shit to come to light? And why wait 30 fucking years to report it?

The allegations of sexual misconduct by Tara Reade against the former vice-president Joe Biden have caused new fault lines within the Democratic party, especially between its left wing and the establishment.

Reade is a former Biden Senate staffer who has accused the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee of sexually assaulting her while she worked in his office in the 1990s. Biden and his campaign have flatly denied the allegations and major news outlets have continued to investigate.

Meanwhile, liberal grassroots activists have clashed with centrist Democrats and senior party figures over how to respond to the allegations. The arguments often point to how Democrats approached previous high-profile sexual assault allegations, such as the accusations by Christine Blasey Ford against Brett Kavanaugh during the now supreme court justice’s contentious confirmation hearings.

Peter Daou, a Democratic strategist who has argued that the “Democratic establishment” has moved to undercut Reade’s allegations, said three basic factions had emerged.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/10/biden-sexual-assault-claim-divides-democrats-as-republicans-pounce

No people, now is not the time to get panicked about this sort of thing. Should these claims be investigated? Absolutely. Now we’re not going to say whether or not the claims hold any amount of water, because even we don’t know the answer to that. But even Trump himself thinks that these accusations should be false. Well yeah that speaks volumes about who he is, doesn’t it?

President Trump said Friday that he hopes the sexual assault allegation against his likely Democratic opponent, Joe Biden, is "false." The president also alluded to the 20-plus allegations of sexual misconduct and assault that have been leveled against him over the years.

Regarding the claim against Biden, "I don't know if it's false or not," Mr. Trump said on "Fox & Friends." "Joe is going to have to be able to prove whatever he has to prove, or she has to prove it, but that's a battle he has to fight."

"I've had many false accusations made, I can tell you that," he added. "Many. And maybe it is a false accusation. Frankly, I hope it is for his sake."

Mr. Trump's comments come a day after Tara Reade, a former Senate aide to Biden who says he sexually assaulted her in 1993, told Megyn Kelly in an interview that she thinks Biden should drop out of the presidential race. Biden is the presumptive Democratic nominee.

Also on Thursday, The Tribune newspaper in San Luis Obispo, California reported on a court document from the time of Reade's 1996 divorce proceedings that shows she told her ex-husband she had been sexually harassed when she worked in Biden's office. It did not accuse Biden personally or include an allegation of sexual assault.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-joe-biden-tara-reade-sexual-assault-allegation/

Damn straight! They can’t even get the court filings right! So did future president Biden commit sexual harassment or not? Well the answer is even they don’t know. And come on, it was the 90s, everyone was engaged in that sort of thing. So I’m told. Although do we need to get the endorsement of the CAFSA? It seems they’ve made their decision clear, but really would there be any presidential candidate that they would endorse? Probably not.

The Coalition Against Fraternity Sexual Assault publicly removed Penn Democrats from their group on Tuesday. CAFSA said in a public statement that Penn Dems was removed because they endorsed former Vice President Joe Biden for president, a figure who has been accused of sexual harassment and assault.

CAFSA, an on-campus organization officially founded in September 2019 to combat rape culture and support historically underrepresented minorities, released their statement in a Google Document on Twitter. CAFSA's document highlighted allegations made against Biden and denounced Penn Dems’ response to the allegation that the former vice president had sexually assaulted Senate staffer Tara Reade in 1993.

"We are writing this statement not only to criticize Penn Dems for endorsing a sexual predator for President, but also to reinforce our commitment in supporting and believing survivors," CAFSA's statement read.

According the CAFSA's website, all clubs in the coalition "support the cause to expel fraternities from Locust Walk and replace them with cultural centers and wellness." By listing their club on the website, they are "committing to the cause and pledging solidarity."
https://www.thedp.com/article/2020/04/biden-assault-penn-cafsa

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Comey Central
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Welcome back to a new edition of the segment where we proudly dissect the latest in the world of absolutely batshit online conspiracy theories, Conspiracy Corner! Just let me get out my trusty tin foil hat, which kind of needs some patching up since I can’t get foil thanks to COVID. But this week marks the third anniversary of the firing of disgraced FBI head James Comey. Since then, Trump has been turning the conspiracies up way past 11. And that has sent Trump supporters into maximum overdrive mode. Really, Trump is turning into the Grandmaster from the Thor franchise – he could tell his followers to take to the streets and they’d do it. So what’s wrong with this picture?

Donald Trump continued to fume over the Russia investigation on Sunday, more than a year after special counsel Robert Mueller filed his report without recommending charges against the president but only three days after the justice department said it would drop its case against Michael Flynn, Trump’s first national security adviser.

“The biggest political crime in American history, by far!” the president wrote in a tweet accompanying a conservative talk show host’s claim that Barack Obama “used his last weeks in office to target incoming officials and sabotage the new administration”.

The tweet echoed previous messages retweeted by Trump, which earned rebukes for relaying conspiracy theories. On Sunday afternoon the president continued to send out a stream of tweets of memes and rightwing talking heads claiming an anti-Trump conspiracy. One tweet by Trump simply read: “OBAMAGATE!”

Trump fired Flynn, a retired general, in early 2017, for lying to Vice-President Mike Pence about conversations with the Russian ambassador regarding sanctions levied by the Obama administration in retaliation for interference in the 2016 election.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/10/trump-obama-biggest-political-american-history-russia-michael-flynn

Yeah probably! So why wait until now to launch an investigation into the investigators? Well knowing Trump and the conservatives, who wasted years and billions investigating Benghazi, are probably going to waste more years and billions. So what’s this grand conspiracy that seems to be burying Trump? And why is he going all out now in a blaze of glory? And do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? You bet your ass I don’t!

Paging James Comey — it’s time to stop tweeting — and lawyer up instead.

Take this beauty he tweeted on Saturday: “Bill Barr on CBS offers no facts. An AG should not be echoing conspiracy theories. He should gather facts and show them. That is what Justice is about.”

This is the same former FBI director who — with his co-conspirators at the highest echelons of the Department of Justice,and Democratic lawmakers hell bent on derailing the Trump administration — peddled the fact-free Russian “Collusion” Conspiracy. A hoax that’s since been disproven by the 22-month special counsel investigation as well as several congressional investigations that all found no such collusion existed between Russia and the 2016 Trump campaign.

Even Trump-hating former FBI agent Peter Strzok said in an uncovered text message at the outset there was “no there, there,” but those facts didn’t stop Comey and the Deep State from launching a counterintelligence investigation against the president and his 2016 campaign associates — and spying on them — to help Hillary Clinton get elected.
https://www.bostonherald.com/2019/06/02/james-comey-should-be-worried-about-his-own-conspiracy-theory-track-record/

Oh it’s all fun and games until someone commits some light treason. But since we’re on the subject of Arrested Development, does this mean that someone can be charged for the same crime twice? First off, ask Roger Stone or Chelsea Manning. Well one of our favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorists out there, Q Anon truther Ann Vandersteel, thinks she might have stumbled upon the secret – Comey may have already got arrested and it’s all a cover up! That’s what they want you to think!

Yesterday we noted that the prediction made on April 30 by right-wing QAnon conspiracy theorist Ann Vandersteel that former FBI Director James Comey, former CIA Director John Brennan, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, and various deep state “minions” would all be arrested by May 5 had obviously not come true.

Vandersteel initially made the prediction based on information she received from a source who she claimed “has never been wrong.” On last night’s “Steel Truth” program, Vandersteel addressed the fact that there is no evidence that any of these people have been arrested by saying that she got back in touch with her original source who told her that Comey may in fact have already been picked up.

Vandersteel’s source told her that he has had somebody “following James Comey for a while” who reports that Comey has not been seen since April 24.

“I have stressed over and over it was a rumor,” Vandersteel said. “I called my source last night about it, and I said, ‘You know, what do you think is going on?’ He said he’s had somebody, another person that he’s connected with, following James Comey for a while. He lives around the block, and he said James Comey was last seen in a supermarket on April 24, and that was the last time he was seen in public. His family and his house have been empty since April 24.”

“Maybe they’re on vacation. Who knows? I don’t know,” Vandersteel added. “Maybe the U.S. Marshals have them. I don’t know. Maybe he’s a cooperating witness. I have no idea.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/ann-vandersteels-source-says-james-comey-may-have-already-been-arrested/

[font size="8"]People Are Dumn
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Even the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century has stopped the flow of stupid. I want to start with this story out of Utah. Look, I get it – we’re sequestered in lockdown for god knows how long because of Coronavirus. And this has got to be especially boring for kids. I get it, I was a kid once. Video games and cartoon reruns can only get you so far. But this kid, who was dreaming of owning a ridiculously overpriced Italian sports car decided to take matters into his own hands. But was it really worth rewarding this recklessly insane behavior from this kid?

A driver who police suspected was under the influence on a Utah freeway Monday was really just underage — by a long shot.

The 5-year-old boy told a trooper he hit the road in his parents’ car so he could buy a Lamborghini in California. He took the wheel after his mother refused to purchase the luxury ride for him, said Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Nick Street.

One of Street’s colleagues was preparing to pull over a different driver for speeding about noon Monday when he spotted a car drifting in and out of its lane, braking erratically and switching lanes without a turn signal on southbound I-15, according to Street.

In dash cam footage released by UHP, the boy appeared to be driving a gray SUV. When the trooper turned on his siren, the boy quickly pulled over on the left side of the highway next to the median.

The trooper got out of his car, approached the vehicle and asked the boy a series of questions, including how old he was.
https://www.deseret.com/utah/2020/5/4/21247196/5-year-old-boy-driver-lamborghini-pulled-over-in-utah

Man when I was five all I knew how to do was make Hot Wheels go down a track! Next up – dumb animals! Yes, even animals are not immune from being stupid! So stop me if you’ve heard this grade school nursery rhyme before. Once there was a pig who swallowed a tracking device. And the tracking device caught fire. Yes, that happened. And the damage might be more severe than you would think!

A fire on a farm in northern England was accidentally set ... by one of the pigs.

The firebug (firehog?) had swallowed a pedometer worn by one of its fellow pigs to demonstrate that the animals were free range, the BBC reported.

But after the pig excreted the pedometer, copper in its battery sparked a flame in the pig dung and dried hay bedding on March 7 at approximately 2 p.m. local time, according to the BBC. The fire spread to cover about 807 square feet (75 square meters) of the farmyard before it was contained, according to The Independent.

Four pigpens caught fire at the farm, located near Leeds in the county of Yorkshire, and fire crews from nearby Tadcaster and Knaresbororough rushed in with hoses to "save the bacon," the North Yorkshire Fire and Rescue Service tweeted on March 7.
https://www.livescience.com/pig-stars-battery-fire.html

Of course how could you not have a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning everyone’s most favorite penis-shaped state? I’m of course talking about Florida. And this is yet another one of those stories where life imitates art. And the art in this case is The Big Lebowski. Walter Sobchak is no role model by any stretch of the imagination. I also don’t think that Florida Man knows that’s one piece of art that shouldn’t be imitated.

Angered that a group of golfers was violating rules on the course adjacent to his home, a 74-year-old Florida Man allegedly threatened the players with a BB gun, prompting the septuagenarian’s arrest Friday evening on six felony charges, records show.

According to cops, John Robert Orr initially shouted at the golfers for driving their cart over a bridge and onto the putting green at the 8th hole of The Conservatory course in Palm Coast. The 199-yard, par three hole features an island green and is touted as the “signature hole” of the Tom Watson-designed course.

Seen above, Orr lives in a home that backs up to the hole, though the residence is separated from the course by a cement wall and the water that surrounds the green.

One of the golfers told police that Orr yelled at them to leave the course and that “use of the golf cart in that manner was against regulations of the golf course,” according to a charging affidavit.
https://upload.democraticunderground.com/110317832

Next up – I think Florida Man has been traveling but no one can really cross state or national lines right now due to the lockdowns. But in California, my home state, this is one thing you should not be doing when there’s a killer virus roaming the landscape capable of shredding your insides. Well, this is also another example of life imitating art, and another example of life imitating art when there’s no way you should be imitating it.

MODESTO, Calif. (KOVR/CNN) - A California man was arrested after he allegedly forced the driver of a tanker truck carring red wine to pull over, climbed onboard and began drinking from the tank, as the truck continued down the highway.

The dash cam video from a Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck hauling bulk red wine through Modesto, California, allegedly shows suspect 39-year-old Gabriel Moreno in a sedan, putting his hazard lights on and directing the truck to the side of the highway.

Believing he may have had a mechanical problem, the truck driver pulled over, only to see Moreno get out of his car wearing just underwear. He ran to the passenger side of the truck and out of view of the camera.

As the driver pulled back on the freeway, another onboard camera captured the suspect jump back into view then on the back of the wine truck. With no shirt and no shoes, Moreno rode on the side of the tanker then climbed underneath the truck as it hit freeway speeds.
https://www.kcrg.com/content/news/Man-allegedly-climbs-under-speeding-truck-filled-with-wine-drinks-from-tank-570348961.html

Finally this week – one of my favorite movie series that has broken in the last 5 years has been undoubtedly the Keanu Reeves vehicle John Wick. I love these damn movies, and it’s a shame that Part 4 has been sidelined because of COVID. Chapter 3 was so good! But once again, you should never imitate art in this case, and especially not do something this ridiculously dumb. But what could possibly go wrong in this case?

A Florida man allegedly tried to blame a weapons bust on John Wick, the legendary assassin played by Keanu Reeves in the eponymous movie franchise, according to a new report.

Cops confronted Getro Gelin, 27, at his Port St. Lucie home Sunday after a woman told police he shoved her to the ground and threatened her with a firearm, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The woman told authorities Gelin may have stashed the weapon in his Porsche SUV, according to the report. Cops searched the vehicle and found a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest, according to the report.

When cops asked Gelin to explain, he explained that the SUV wasn’t even his anymore — he’d sold it “to his cousin John Wick,” according to the affidavit. ......(moe)

https://nypost.com/2020/04/28/florida-man-claims-guns-found-in-car-belonged-to-his-cousin-john-wick/

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
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Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! We are in the home stretch everybody as just one conference championship remains before the Final Four showdown! Last week, Idaho stunned the favorite Virginia to take the Batshit Conference and advance to their first Final Four in franchise history! And we don’t need to tell you that the Layover League championship is set with Florida set to take on Alabama in a rematch of last year’s championship. This week it’s the last week of Round 2 as #1 Michigan is set to take on #4 Nebraska in a battle to go for broke in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We’re at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! Let’s go to the floor!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championship[/font]

[font size="4"]#1 Michigan:[/font]

So we are nearly 4 years into the Trump administration and the once-bustling city of Flint still does not have potent water. But Michigan is facing a crisis of unwavering magnitude as COVID ravages the entire landscape. Mostly aimed at Gov. Whitman because conservatives be crazy and they are crazier than you’ve ever seen them during this pandemic. But how is Michigan going broke? Well here’s one way to make things worse – the elected representatives are the crooks!

The embattled elected official issued a statement Wednesday evening on the misdemeanor shoplifting offense.

"I would like to apologize to my family, friends and especially my constituents for my substantial lapse in judgement today, Wednesday, May 6. A combination of many external factors led to my poor judgement. The economic impact of the COVID-19 statewide lockdown has taken a serious toll on me personally," she said.

"I obviously was not thinking clearly, and I take full responsibility for my actions. Recently, I had to choose between insulin and food, and I chose the insulin, which helps me stay alive.

"Recent threats and harassment along with censure in Royal Oak for my attendance at 'Operation Gridlock' and a lack of sleep have resulted in my mistake. Thanks to the support of family and friends, I am now seeking treatment from medical professionals to ensure I never make a mistake like this again."

Read more: https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2020/05/07/royal-oak-city-commissioner-kim-gibbs-shoplifting/3087242001/

Yeah somehow don’t use Nelson’s example. So how does Michigan plan to reopen the economy? Well there’s plenty of data out there that suggests that now is not the time to do that, despite what the gun nuts and the reopen protestors think. But the coronavirus has just ravaged everything and Michigan’s economy is no joke.

How severe a blow has the coronavirus pandemic and the resulting near-shutdown been to the Michigan economy?

Worse than you may suspect.

Charles Ballard, a professor of economics at Michigan State University who has spent his career specializing in the state, put it this way. “GDP, the nation’s Gross Domestic Product dropped about 26 percent from 1929 to 1933,” the worst of the Great Depression.

“Moody’s estimated that this year, it had fallen 29 percent in just the first three weeks of the pandemic,” he said. By Moody’s, he meant the highly respected analytics and investor services company.

What’s more, the professor thinks things have gotten even worse since then — and thinks Michigan may have been even harder hit. “You could say this is weird on steroids,” said Professor Ballard, author of the highly praised book Michigan’s Economic Future.

In some ways this is not as bad as the Depression. For one thing, there is a social safety net, things like unemployment insurance and food assistance that did not exist in 1929.
https://www.toledoblade.com/opinion/columnists/2020/04/25/michigan-economy-another-victim-of-coronavirus/stories/20200423112

Yes! Holy shit indeed! But here’s the thing – why are white supremacists the ones who are the ones threatening to reopen the economy? What’s their motivation? And why are they threatening Gov. Whitmer like never before? Well there’s lots of reasons why they would and would not. But really, the Proud Boys can go lick subway poles. It’s insane to think this is where we’re headed.

A series of protests, primarily in state capitals, are demanding the end of COVID-19 lockdown restrictions. Among the protesters are people who express concern about their jobs or the economy as a whole.
But there are also far-right conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and citizens’ militia members at these protests. The exact number of each group that attends these protests is unknown, since police have not traditionally monitored these groups, but signs and symbols of far right groups have been seen at many of these protests across the country.

These protests risk spreading the virus and have disrupted traffic, potentially delaying ambulances. But as researchers of street gangs’ and far-right groups’ violence and recruitment, we believe these protests may become a way right-wingers expand the spread of anti-Semitic rhetoric and militant racism.

The Proud Boys, and many other far-right activists, don’t typically focus their concern on whether stores and businesses are open. They’re usually more concerned about pro-white, pro-male rhetoric. They’re attending these rallies as part of their longstanding search for any opportunity to make extremist groups look mainstream – and because they are always looking for potential recruits to further their cause.

While not all far-right groups agree on everything, many of them now subscribe to the idea that Western government is corrupt and its demise needs to be accelerated through a race war.
https://www.michiganadvance.com/2020/05/11/column-why-are-white-supremacists-protesting-to-reopen-the-economy/

[font size="4"]#4: Nebraska[/font]

Man, Cartman seemed unusually happy there for a minute didn’t he? Well next we come to Nebraska who last time shocked Tennessee with a buzzer beater. But do they have what it takes to win the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference and send Michigan packing? Well as we discussed, Nebraska’s chief export is obviously corn. And also meat, as we have plainly seen is having a huge effect on the economy right now as COVID is ravaging meat farmers. In fact here’s what COVID has done to Nebraska’s economy.

An updated report shows the state's economy is taking a severe hit from the coronavirus pandemic.

New estimates from economists Ernie Goss and Scott Strain show that Nebraska has so far lost more than $834 million in economic activity as a result of COVID-19.

The figures, published in the new Platte Institute report, "The Economic Impact of COVID-19 on Nebraska's Economy: Second Cut, are based only on data through April 4. A version of the report released last week had estimated a $63 million loss in March.

The Platte Institute said total losses are expected to keep climbing and it will continue to release updated figures as new data become available.

The report estimates 96,147 job losses in Nebraska through early April, resulting in a loss of more than a quarter of a billion dollars in wages and salaries, and more than $30 million in self-employment income. These figures do not account for federal money that has come into the state through COVID-19 relief programs.
https://journalstar.com/business/local/report-nebraska-economy-has-taken-834m-hit-from-covid-19/article_1dec94a8-f142-5150-80e7-ad98396cda25.html

But here’s the thing – reopening things isn’t going to be that easy and it may take years to get back to pre-virus times. But let’s hope that governors don’t do anything stupid between now and then. Of course Trump certainly isn’t helping things progress. If anything he’s doing the opposite. And there’s no way that Gov. Ricketts would listen to Trump is there?

Gov. Pete Ricketts said he remains focused on keeping Nebraskans safe and preventing the state’s health care system from being overrun because of the coronavirus rather than the politics of when to reopen the economy.

At an afternoon news briefing Tuesday, Ricketts said Nebraska will continue to work collaboratively with federal and local governments to determine when and how the state will lift restrictions meant to slow the spread of COVID-19.

“There are people out there who are trying to drive a wedge between the president, governors, public health officials,” he said. “Let’s not get caught up in that Washington, D.C.-type ‘gotcha’ politics.”

Ricketts’ statements come a day after President Donald Trump announced, both on Twitter and during a daily White House news briefing, that it was his sole decision when pandemic restrictions would be relaxed and the economy would be allowed to reopen.
https://journalstar.com/lifestyles/health-med-fit/health/ricketts-says-hell-do-whats-best-for-nebraska-even-if-trump-reopens-economy-early/article_4d8474f1-e1cc-5dac-aa6d-89df62e9cfdd.html

So while we’ve talked about Nebraska’s agriculture industry, how are they being impacted by current events? Well, the governor unconventionally called for April to be declared “Beef Month” in support of local farmers, but the concept of a “beef” could have a very different meaning depending on where you come from.

Last week, Gov. Pete Ricketts declared May as “Beef Month” in Nebraska.

“When we think of beef, we often think of ranches, pastures, and rolling hills,” Ricketts said. “But it’s more than that. It’s a main economic driver in our state. It generates jobs throughout the entire supply chain.”

But the COVID-19 pandemic has caused “significant challenges” to Nebraska’s agricultural economy, especially for cattle, pork, and poultry producers. They have been affected by both price decreases and significant logistical challenges connected to the slowdown or closure of meat-processing facilities.

Nebraska Farm Bureau (NEFB) has determined that Nebraska revenue losses alone will total $823 million, or 10% of the state’s cattle receipts in 2018.

To address those problems, NEFB is urging Congress to support additional funding for agriculture in any pandemic response package that moves through Congress.
https://www.theindependent.com/news/local/nebraska-farm-bureau-seeks-additional-help-for-agriculture-industry/article_bda9b3e6-8f46-11ea-a2a9-af799e5c2fe0.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a situation developing here… Michigan is staging a comeback after being down in the second half by 20 points. But Nebraska has had several free throw attempts and missed rebound opportunities, which means that Michigan is up by 5 with 30 seconds left. Nebraska has the ball… they shoot, ooh, a miss!!! Michigan wins!!! Epic comeback by the Wolverine State! Final score 81 – 76! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Final Four! All four conference winners have been set and are ready to tangle! Florida. Alabama. Michigan. Idaho. Two of these teams will advance to the championship, and then we will declare our winner on 5/27! We’re live in Phoenix at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, the Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona for all the action! Getting exciting!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]

Folks, I don’t need to tell you that this is not the celebration I had in mind for the 200th edition of the Top 10. Which means no live audience or featuring one of my favorite bands at the end. So instead I do have a send-off that I wanted to give for Top 10 #200 – the Rolling Stones have recorded one of their first brand new songs since 2005 called “Living In A Ghost Town”, so here it is in all its’ glory!

Thanks for sticking with us for 200 editions! Here’s to 200 more! Thanks to my staff and crew! We have just two more editions left this season. And we hope to return live on June 17th when the 9th season starts. See you next week!

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May 6, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country's Rocking, Don't Come Knocking Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country’s Rocking, Don’t Come Knocking Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everyone doing out there? You going crazy stuck at home all the time? Wondering when this is going to end? Yeah me too, I am going fucking crazy being stuck at home all the time. And this is edition #199 too! Man, I hit #200 and I won’t get to celebrate it with the live audience and party that we deserve. Fuck. Stupid fucking coronavirus. But I do want to talk about something that I saw trending on social media the other day. So the kids who were babies in 2008 have now grown up and are discovering their parents’ taste in movies. And kids who are 17 now were 5 years old when the movie Tropic Thunder came out. And of course right now we’re stuck in this nightmare quarantine with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go. Naturally of course, those teenagers are watching movies like Tropic Thunder and Stepbrothers. Which means they’re now just discovering that Robert Downey Jr, had a role in which he used blackface. Of course if you do a Google search now, you will realize that even Downey himself argued that was a potential career killer even after he did the movie. And then you immediately discount the other brilliant performances from Jack Black and Ben Stiller. But I am loving this aspect of the pandemic. See kids? That’s how life used to operate before coronavirus came along! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the latest surrounding everyone’s favorite subject:

Sigh, another week stuck at home. Quarantine can bite me. And social distancing blows too. I can’t wait to get back out and do the full and proper Top 10 we used to do. Anyway that said we actually have other things than the virus that we can talk about this week! For starters in the number one slot this week, is Gun Nut Terrorists (1). After Trump’s suggestion to “Liberate Michigan”, they took that way too literally. And Trump is egging them on! Taking the second slot this week is the economy (2) and while there’s tremendous pressure to reopen and get back to normal, I got news for ya, normal isn’t coming back for a while so we are going to ask - what could go wrong? At slot #3 is Elon Musk (3). Yes, the Tesla and Space X CEO is proving that like a virtual Superman, you can sink whole companies with a single tweet, but he’s the one laughing all the way to the bank. In the fourth slot, the Pentagon confirms something we’ve all been thinking – aliens exist (4)! Quick, someone call Tom DeLonge before it’s too late! aking the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5). And this week we’re going to tackle the question – “where did coronavirus come from?”. There’s many different origin theories but only one is true! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), our resident pastor is fully embracing his Jewish side because we really got to know what’s going on with New York’s Hasidic Jewish community. They seem to be defying orders and Gov. Cuomo isn’t having any of it. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). And if you think the Land O’ Lakes decision to remove the native American from their 100 year old logo, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! In the 8th slot this week, after former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura announced plans to run on the Green Party ticket, we ask – “The Green Party: How Is This Still A Thing?”. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new edition of “I Need A Drink” (9) . This week, Universal proved that we might not need movie theaters in the future, and movie theater chains aren’t having any of it. So yeah pour a drink for the possible end of traditional cinema. Finally this week it’s time for more Stupidest State! This week, it’s Round 2 Week 3 and it’s a tale of possible secession as #1 Virginia takes on #3 Idaho! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The MAGA Reopen protests
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Look MAGAs, we get it, OK! We all want to get back to the plans that we had before this nightmare pandemic started too! Shit, I lost money on travel and concerts that I had planned. I lost money on sporting events. We all lost money, and everyone is pissed and wondering what our course of action is going to be until a vaccine is found. But in the meantime don’t go making it worse than it already is, because if you do, the virus wins, and we could be in this a long fucking time. And I’m not at all surprised that these protests that are popping up all over the country are lead by two groups: MAGAs and anti-vaxxers. And both groups can put up or shut up. But when you start brandishing your kill toys, don’t be surprised when the governor extends the stay-at-home order.

Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan issued a rebuke of the armed protesters who gathered inside the state capitol last week in defiance of statewide lockdown orders, saying the demonstrators embodied some of the “worst racism” of the nation’s history.

“Some of the outrageousness of what happened at our capitol depicted some of the worst racism and awful parts of our history in this country,” Whitmer said during a Sunday interview on CNN’s State of the Union.

Last week Donald Trump had said of the protesters: “These are very good people.”

Hundreds of protesters, many not wearing protective face masks and some armed legally with “long guns”, gathered inside the statehouse in Lansing on Thursday as lawmakers debated the Democratic governor’s request to extend her emergency powers to combat the coronavirus pandemic. The tightly packed crowd attempted to enter the floor of the legislative chamber and were held back by a line of state police and capitol staff, according to video footage posted by local journalists. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/03/michigan-gretchen-whitmer-lockdown-protest-racism

Yeah so here’s why we need real leadership. Brandishing giant guns, threatening the governor, and shouting racist slogans is UNACCPETABLE BEHAVIOR IN ANY SOCIETY!!! Do you get that MAGAs? You want to make it another 4 months of misery? Go right on ahead. Keep packing tightly into groups, like in Huntington Beach for instance. God damn motherfucking Huntington Beach.

Thousands of protesters have flocked to Huntington Beach to protest coronavirus lockdowns in the days following a mandatory closure of Orange County beaches. Angered by the forced closures, the protesters ignored social distancing guidelines and demanded the beaches be reopened.

Crowds took to the streets Friday — many without face masks — backing up traffic for at least a mile along Pacific Coast Highway, The Associated Press reports. "Freedom is essential," "Surfing is not a crime" and "Newsom is a kook" read some of their signs, which also called for the reopening of all businesses.

Last weekend, California made national news as an estimated 80,000 people gathered on Newport Beach and Huntington Beach during a heatwave. Orange County was the only county in the area where beaches remained open, as counties north and south had previously shut down public spaces.

"This virus doesn't take the weekends off," Governor Gavin Newsom said Monday. "This virus doesn't go home because it's a beautiful sunny day around our coasts."

On Thursday, Newsom announced the decision to close Orange County beaches. He again stressed that the "vast majority" of Californians have followed the stay-at-home order and social distancing guidelines, but said "specific issues" on some beaches "have raised alarm bells."
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronavirus-thousands-storm-california-beaches-protest-closures/

Yeah seriously stop being so fucking stupid! Do we need to remind you that there’s a killer virus out there that – as George Carlin put it – is capable of turning your vital organs into liquid shit? And that it kills at a 5% rate? Go ahead and get your surf on while the rest of us stay inside. Yeah it sucks that we can’t go enjoy a nice day on the beach right now, but it’s better than being buried in a box in a ditch on an abandoned island. I can guarantee that. So there’s Michigan and my state. What about Texas? Well…

A 25-year-old man in Texas was arrested and charged with attempted assault on a public servant after a video showed him pushing a park ranger into a lake while the ranger went over rules on social distancing.

Authorities say Ranger Cassidy Stillwell was talking to a group of people about not distancing themselves from each other at Commons Ford Ranch Metro Park in Austin when Brandon Hicks pushed him into the lake.

As Stillwell was falling into the lake, he pulled Hicks in with him.

Hicks fled the scene but was later arrested, officials say.

If convicted, Hicks would be sentenced up to two years in jail.
https://www.abc15.com/news/national/coronavirus/texas-park-ranger-enforcing-social-distancing-pushed-in-lake-suspect-charged

That’s a perfect example of one person making it worse for the rest of us. And if you want to see a whole bunch of stupid people in one tightly packed space, just look at what happened in Boston this week, this shit is getting real. People are rebelling against the SAH orders and well it’s going to be a fucking disaster when this thing comes back in the fall. Expect things to be that much worse. Beware.

Chants of "USA" rang out Monday at the steps of the Statehouse, where hundreds of people stood shoulder to shoulder protesting the state's stay-at-home advisory and closure of nonessential businesses, measures taken to slow the spread of the new coronavirus.

Many of the protesters weren't wearing masks, instead toting signs and garb supporting President Donald Trump. Large vehicles covered in Trump paraphernalia were at the scene. "Make America Free Again," read one woman's sign.

The Boston Globe reported the protest was organized in part by the people behind last fall's Straight Pride Parade.

"Beyond this COVID, it really is about power," said Mary Smith, who drove about 30 minutes to protest. "Our government really is holding on by a thread."

Some people shouted about tyranny, while others were upset about churches being closed while liquor stores remain open. One person held a "Fire Fauci" sign high above his head, a reference to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert.
https://patch.com/massachusetts/boston/hundreds-tightly-packed-protesters-gather-state-house

[font size="8"]Reopening The Country – What Could Go Wrong?
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There’s one thing I will say about the MAGA crowd – they certainly know how to talk some trash. They also know how to leave giant piles of it for someone else to clean up (see: Top 10 #8-5 ). That said, they’ve been talking massive amounts of shit about reopening the economy after the Coronavirus came in like a wrecking ball and completely ravaged the US economy thanks to social distancing measures. And this that giant pile of trash that they’ve left behind. Since the economy has been opening very slowly, let’s examine the number of ways that this could go wrong. For starters – let’s take a look at Missouri. Would you want to take this risk? Jared Kushner says this country will be rocking by July. Well if this country’s rocking, don’t come knocking.

Missouri Governor Mike Parson has given the okay for concerts to begin again in the state as early as Monday.

On April 27, Governor Parson released his Show Me Strong recovery plan that details plans for gradually reopening the state's economy starting May 4. The plan allows for retail stores to serve customers in-store at limited capacities and for restaurants to re-establish dine-in services while remaining socially distanced.

A first for the country since governments started instating lockdown orders, Missouri will allow residents to attend live events, including concerts. According to the Show Me Strong guidelines, large events and gatherings are no longer banned, but in order to go to a concert, movie theater or stadium "seating shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements."

A representative from Missouri's Department of Health and Senior Services clarified for Billboard that concerts do not have to adhere to the same occupancy limitations as retail businesses, but event organizers are expected to keep concertgoers six feet or more apart to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.
https://www.billboard.com/articles/business/9368428/missouri-concerts-resume-may-4-coronavirus

Dude, seriously, this is like being in a 12 step program and skipping steps 2 – 11 and then saying you’re cured of your alcoholism. Look I am an avid concert goer and I love live music as much the next guy and I’ve been devastated at the end of live music until there’s a vaccine. But I’m not taking that risk right now, and that’s just one of many many problems we face right now. Like look at Texas for instance.

The Domain mall in Austin, Texas, is open for business - unlike most of its 100 upscale shops - as the state entered its first work week of eased pandemic restrictions in the hopes of rekindling the economy.

A dozen or so people were strolling about the sprawling open-air shopping center Monday afternoon, with three seated on the patio of a Tex-Mex restaurant. Only one shopper wore a mask, and the loudest noises were from songbirds perched in the live oak trees along the deserted pedestrian thoroughfares.

“I’ve seen one customer today - they didn’t buy anything,” said Taylor Jund, who was keeping watch over an empty Chaser clothing store. “There’s absolutely no one coming around here.”

While protests across the United States demand state governments allow business to reopen and people to get back to work, the vast majority of Americans balk at relaxing stay-at-home orders too quickly, according to Reuters/Ipsos opinion polling.

Texas, Georgia and other southern states are leading the way in letting stay at home orders expire and gradually allowing people go about their business. But the early days of the opening in Texas show that many residents might want to stay home anyway.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-usa-texas/texas-back-in-business-barely-yall-as-malls-restaurants-empty-idUSKBN22H19K

Yeah so another thing – would you take that risk going to your favorite bar right now? I wouldn’t with Texas reporting 1,000 new cases a day. Shit, even my home state of California is not immune from stupid people in the process of reopening. Look, we’re all starved to get out and go do something after being dormant for 2 months, I get it! But this guy here is *NOT* doing us a solid.

A San Clemente restaurant reopened over the weekend, in defiance of California’s stay-at-home order.

Nomads Canteen, located at 102 Avenida Cabrillo, was crowded with at least two dozen people who could be seen socializing, eating and drinking in the outside patio area Sunday afternoon, two days after the restaurant reopened its doors to dine-in services.

Owner Jeff Gourley told KTLA he took social distancing measures into account by reducing indoor capacity by about 40%, after removing several tables and placing bar stools several feet apart.

But out on the patio deck, patrons did not appear to be adhering to the state’s social distancing guidelines and were not wearing masks, video showed.
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/san-clemente-restaurant-reopens-drawing-crowds-as-o-c-becomes-hotspot-in-challenging-state-orders/

Yeah that’s probably the best protection out there right now. Do I need to go get that Twitter thread from that doctor who said that this thing shreds your insides even after you’ve been taken off the ventilators? Don’t make me. Because that’s where we are heading. And there will be a second wave of this when our guard is let down. But don’t let these assholes get you down either. Just keep calm and don’t go outside for a while.

The availability of a vaccine for the novel coronavirus will likely play a key role in determining when Americans can return to life as usual. Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, on April 30 announced that a vaccine could even be available by January 2021.

Whether a vaccine can end this pandemic successfully, however, depends on more than its effectiveness at providing immunity against the virus, or how quickly it can be produced in mass quantities. Americans also must choose to receive the vaccine.

According to some estimates, 50% to 70% of Americans would need to develop immunity to COVID-19 – either naturally, or via a vaccine – in order to thwart the spread of the virus. If these estimates are correct, that could mean that nearly twice as many Americans would need to elect to receive a COVID-19 vaccine than those who currently opt to be vaccinated against seasonal influenza. Just 37% of American adults did so in 2017-2018, even in the midst of a historically severe flu season.

Making matters more complicated is the possibility that people who hold skeptical views about vaccine safety – sometimes referred to as "anti-vaxxers" – will not opt to receive the coronavirus vaccine. According to some estimates, about one-fifth to two-fifths of Americans express reservations about vaccine safety. If most of these individuals forego receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, they could potentially jeopardize the recovery process.
https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-05-04/many-vaccine-skeptics-plan-to-refuse-a-covid-19-vaccine-study-suggests

[font size="8"]Elon Musk
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Elon, Elon, Elon. What are we going to do with you? If you haven’t been following the news surrounding the latest look into the batshit crazy mind of the Tesla CEO and new dad Elon Musk, well, it’s the stuff of complete insanity. While corporations around the world are feeling the hits from COVID-19 – everything from giant financial gurus like Berkshire – Hathaway to your local mom and pop bar, even Tesla is feeling the pinch. Auto makers in general are feeling the heat right now. But Tesla’s current woes aren’t exactly COVID-related. In fact the stocks are tanking because – someone as powerful as Elon can sink a multi-billion dollar company with the stroke of a tweet.

Tesla boss Elon Musk wiped $14bn (£11bn) off the carmaker's value after tweeting its share price was too high.

It also knocked $3bn off Mr Musk's own stake in Tesla as investors promptly bailed out of the company.

"Tesla stock price too high imo," he said in one of several tweets that included a vow to sell his possessions.

In other tweets, he said his girlfriend was mad at him, while another simply read: "Rage, rage against the dying of the light of consciousness."

In 2018, a tweet about Tesla's future on the New York stock market led to regulators fining the company $20m and Mr Musk agreeing to have all further posts on the platform pre-screened by lawyers.
'Headache'

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal reported it had asked the billionaire if he was joking about the share price tweet and whether it had been vetted, receiving the reply "No".
https://www.bbc.com/news/business-52504187

Holy shit! He can wipe out billions with a single tweet… he is Super Idiot!!! Dude here’s the thing, if your stock prices are that high, you should revel in it! Seriously, what are you smoking man? If that’s not enough, Elon not only stood by his recent claims, he doubled down on his insanity. There must be some bad covfefe circulating because now he’s going even crazier than usual.

Two of Elon Musk’s Los Angeles mansions appear to be up for sale on property website Zillow for $30 million and $9.5 million.

The listings, which say they’re “for sale by owner,” went live on Sunday just two days after the eccentric billionaire tweeted that he intended to sell almost all of his physical possessions and that he “will own no house.”

Moments before he made those remarks on Friday, Musk tweeted to his 33.6 million followers that Tesla stock was too high, leading to $14 billion being wiped off the company’s market cap. It’s unclear why he did this.

Musk’s two luxury properties are both in the the exclusive Los Angeles neighborhood of Bel Air. One is a five bedroom ranch and the other is a six bedroom estate.

A representative for Musk did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/04/elon-musks-lavish-la-mansions-sale.html

Sure, what’s $30 million in the worst pandemic not seen in a century and the worst economic crash since the Great Depression? I’ll take two of them! Really who is he kidding? And why is he selling his house you might ask? Maybe he knows that since the virus is ruling all of humanity right now that you can’t take it with you? Or does he have some other ulterior motive behind this insane move? Well, he might be joining Tom DeLonge in the quest for UFOs.

A city on Mars? SpaceX has been training this whole time, Elon Musk declared Sunday.

The SpaceX CEO took to Twitter to decry his company's slow rate of progress in sending humans to Mars to set up a city. The firm is currently working on the Starship, a fully-reusable rocket designed to transport humans to Mars and beyond, which Musk noted is step one of three toward reaching this goal.

Musk also explained how the company has been working on step two of three through its existing resupply missions. The second step is orbital refilling, which will enable the Starship to refuel in space and continue its mission to the red planet.

On Sunday, YouTuber Tim Dodd asked Musk about current progress on the firm's research in this area in collaboration with NASA. Musk responded:

SpaceX has a lot of experience berthing & now docking with [the International Space Station], which is very difficult. Orbital refilling should in theory be easier, since Starships dock with themselves & will be uncrewed at first.
https://www.inverse.com/innovation/spacex-elon-musk-explains-how-dragon-capsules-pave-the-way-to-a-mars-city

Space X!!! Seriously Elon? We’re going to build a city on Mars? Why don’t we build a working city on earth first? And why don’t we cure coronavirus while we’re at it? Shit, it’s been 4 years and Flint still doesn’t have potable water! Let’s fix our problems on Earth first before we go ruin another planet, can we do that? Oh and it must be nice to be Elon, he can say literally anything and still make $700 million.

With Tesla’s stock closing at $761.19 yesterday, Tesla’s stock market value has now achieved a six-month average of $100.2 billion – making the first tranche of the compensation plan eligible to vest, according to an analysis of Refinitiv data via Reuters.

At a set price of $350.02 each per vested share, Musk would clear almost $700 million from the first tranche thanks to Tesla’s high share price.

Last Friday, Musk said that Tesla’s share price was “too high” in a series of tweets – wiping out billions of dollars worth of Tesla’s valuation.

At the time, we speculated that Musk was trying to prove his detractors wrong who have accused him of only pushing the “free America” narrative to get his stock options, which he ended up later confirming it was part of what drove him to call out Tesla’s share price.

The stock crashed almost 10% following his comment, Tesla investors didn’t care for long as the stock was back up to his pre-comment level the next day – triggering his stock option tranche anyway.
https://electrek.co/2020/05/05/elon-musk-tesla-700-million-payday/

[font size="8"]Aliens Exist
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Finally! We get some non virus news to talk about today. Yay!!! Good because I am fucking sick to death of this thing. Not quite that sick, sir! But first can we get some music to accompany this piece?

Yeah someone better call Tom DeLonge because the Pentagon has confirmed what we’ve all long been suspecting – aliens exist! Or do they? Maybe it’s a weather balloon or a black helicopter. You don’t know, man! That’s what they want you to think! OK enough of channeling my inner conspiracy theorist and UFO chaser. But now with everything turning upside down because of what’s out there, that’s not aliens, the Pentagon decide to simply say “fuck it” and confirm what we’ve all been suspecting. Which is that aliens do in fact exist. At least partially. The truth is out there! Oh wait, I’m supposed to say that at the end aren’t I?

The Pentagon has declassified three previously leaked top secret U.S. Navy videos that show "unexplained aerial phenomena" and that some believe could show Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) in an effort "to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real or whether or not there is more to the videos," said a Pentagon spokesperson.

"The aerial phenomena observed in the videos remain characterized as 'unidentified,'" the spokesperson added.

The videos, previously acknowledged by the Navy as being real, captured what Navy fighter pilots saw on their video sensors during training flights in 2004 and 2015. They were published by the New York Times in 2017.

"The Department of Defense has authorized the release of three unclassified Navy videos, one taken in November 2004 and the other two in January 2015, which have been circulating in the public domain after unauthorized releases in 2007 and 2017," said Susan Gough, a Defense Department spokesperson in a statement released Monday.

"After a thorough review, the department has determined that the authorized release of these unclassified videos does not reveal any sensitive capabilities or systems, and does not impinge on any subsequent investigations of military air space incursions by unidentified aerial phenomena," said Gough.
https://6abc.com/navy-ufo-videos-aliens-alien-caught-on-video-sightings/6134626/

Of course it’s “unidentified”. It’s in the name “unidentified flying objects”! Remember last year when a group of idiots got the idea to storm the Pentagon to “see them aliens” (see: Top 10 #7-6 ? Well there might have been something to this. But I’m sure the last thing that the government wants is a bunch of idiots storming an otherwise classified military base. But this brings the question – have aliens ever visited earth? Well there’s plenty of theories out there.

Between 2002 and 2005, files released by the Ministry of Defence documented three sightings in Gwent - two in Newport, one in Croesyceiliog.

A further 4,400-page document relating to sightings reported between 2007 and November 2009 in Gwent was also released by the MoD, which revealed sightings had been reported in Newport, another in Argoed.

Further later documented sightings refer to two objects seen over Blaenavon in March 2009, and in December 2018, strange lights were spotted in the sky over Tranch, Pontypool.

One of the most memorable encounters in recent years includes the spherical floating object filmed by a South Wales police helicopter whilst officers were flying 1,000ft over the Bristol Channel in 2016.

Explanations

All manner of explanations have been offered for the strange sightings, from weather balloons and sky lanterns, to mistaking the bright planet Venus as a UFO.

However, while many sightings can be explained away, others cannot and remain a mystery. Bt linking them to extra-terrestrial activity is another question.
https://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/18423301.aliens-ever-visited-us-take-look-gwents-x-files/

So aliens could have visited us, or they could not have but one thing is for absolute certain – it’s not a UFO that visited us. Or did it? Even if we assume that UFOs are real, it’s not going to be like Independence Day or Alien. Or Star Trek. Or any number of movies where humans interact with aliens like it’s no big deal. Is there a science to all of this? Probably. Do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? Hell no.

UFOs are very real, as we have recently seen — but that doesn't mean E.T. has been violating our airspace.

"UFO" refers to any flying object an observer cannot readily identify. And pilots with the U.S. Navy saw fast-moving UFOs repeatedly off the East Coast throughout 2014 and 2015, in one case apparently nearly colliding with one of the mysterious objects, The New York Times reported earlier this week.

Those incidents were reported to the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), whose existence the Times and Politico revealed in December 2017. (Interestingly, those 2017 stories cited Pentagon officials as saying that AATIP had been shut down in 2012.)

Former AATIP head Luis Elizondo, by the way, is involved with a new six-part series called "Unidentified: Inside America's UFO Investigation," which premieres tonight (May 31) on The History Channel.

The Navy pilots said some UFOs reached hypersonic speeds without any detectable exhaust plumes, suggesting the possible involvement of super-advanced propulsion technology. Still, Defense Department officials aren't invoking intelligent aliens as an explanation, according to this week's Times story — and they're right to be measured in this respect, scientists say.
https://www.space.com/ufos-real-but-not-alien-spaceships.html

You’d better believe it, man! The boredom is excruciating! But of course when one things of aliens, one can’t help but think of what everyone’s favorite alien hunter Tom DeLonge thinks. Of course you know him as the voice and mastermind of Blink 182, who famously left the band he founded to explore the possibility that life might be out beyond the stars. The truth… is out there!

Last year, the research group announced a new partnership with the U.S. Army to collaborate on future UFO research which led to the release of videos of “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

They released three videos in December 2017 and March 2018 which the U.S. Navy confirmed to The Black Vault in September 2019 that they considered the “phenomena contained/depicted in those videos as unidentified.”

DeLonge later said in a Rolling Stone interview that he was surprised the Navy took his videos seriously and identified the objects as “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

In a report released by CNN earlier in the week, the Pentagon officially re-released the videos previously unveiled by DeLonge’s research group. You can see them for yourself below.
https://www.altpress.com/news/donald-trump-tom-delonge-ufo-videos/

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Origins Of Coronavirus
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Coronavirus has been dominating the headlines. But with the virus, come many questions and one of the biggest is – where did it come from? There’s many differing theories on the origins of the virus – some say it originated in a lab. Others say that it originated in bats. Then there’s some conspiracy theories who say that the virus was man made and that it was a hoax. And then there’s the origin theory that the President is parroting that says that the virus originated in a lab as a biological weapon. One thing is for absolute certain – we know it’s not that. But where did the virus come from? Let’s take a look at the differing theories out there.

You could be forgiven for wondering how a disease as fast-moving and deadly as COVID-19 could just appear naturally, out of nowhere, seemingly overnight. President Trump expressed doubt, saying that “a lot of people” were looking at the possibility that a Chinese lab was responsible for the COVID-19 pandemic. Earlier that week, Fox News ran a story in which unnamed sources suggested that the COVID-19 outbreak originated in a Wuhan laboratory — the Wuhan Institute of Virology, which studies coronaviruses with a number of international collaborators. The New York Times reported that spy agencies are being pressured to find evidence blaming the lab, and at the end of April, the National Institutes of Health withdrew funding from a research consortium that had collaborated with the lab. As recently as this weekend, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, despite saying there was no reason to disbelieve the intelligence community’s assessment that the virus was neither manmade nor genetically modified, claimed there was “enormous evidence” connecting the virus to the WIV.

But the truth is almost certainly not that salacious. Robert Garry, a professor of microbiology and immunology at the Tulane University School of Medicine, said this dynamic is familiar. “Every time there’s an outbreak, people say, oh, there’s a lab close by.” He should know: In 2014, during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa, conspiracy theorists alleged his team’s lab in Sierra Leone, not far from the origin of the outbreak, was a George Soros-funded bioweapons site.

According to a growing body of research, SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) is almost certainly a naturally occurring virus that initially circulated in bats then spilled into humans. But that hasn’t stopped some from trying to find a more sinister origin. “It seems like such an extreme event that people are looking for an extraordinary explanation for it,” said Stephen Goldstein, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Utah who studies coronaviruses. No single piece of evidence has yet confirmed the virus’ origin. But according to scientists, the evidence that does exist paints a consistent picture of a wild virus, not one that sprang from a lab.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-scientists-think-the-novel-coronavirus-developed-naturally-not-in-a-chinese-lab/

That is most definitely how the virus did not originate. But while multiple theories out there have disputes about where coronavirus came from, it did not come from where we think it did, but it has all the possibilities of starting the next World War. So far all the blame is being placed on China where they did not lock down when they first found out about it, and just made it that much worse.

The European Union has called for a worldwide investigation into the origins and spread of Covid-19 in a move its foreign policy chief described as “standing aside from the battlefield between China and the US”.

The EU said the bloc and its 27 member states would co-sponsor a draft resolution calling for an “independent review” into the novel coronavirus that causes the disease when the World Health Assembly convenes for a virtual meeting on May 18.

The meeting of the World Health Organisation’s decision-making body is shaping up as a test of China’s diplomatic standing in the wake of the pandemic.

In addition to calls for an independent investigation, nations such as the US are also pushing to reinstate Taiwan – which Beijing views as a renegade province – as an observer to the assembly.

China has so far not committed to an international probe, saying it would be a “blame game” that targets Beijing, even though China has repeatedly pledged support for the WHO.
https://www.scmp.com/news/china/diplomacy/article/3082989/european-union-backs-international-inquiry-origins-coronavirus

We can’t all be like Mr. Burns though. And of course China is to blame for not alerting the world to the severity of the disease that was coming our way, but who knew what would happen? But another thing is for certain – there’s nothing to trust about what Trump’s Secretary Of State, Mike Pompeo has to say about this. In fact there’s really no evidence of this fact, just a bunch of baseless theories that they pulled out of their ass.

U.S. Secretary of State Michael Pompeo said “enormous evidence” shows the novel coronavirus outbreak began in a laboratory in Wuhan, China, and that Beijing has refused to give international scientists access to learn what happened.

“I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan,” Pompeo said on ABC’s “This Week,” broadcast Sunday. “These are not the first times that we’ve had a world exposed to viruses as a result of failures in a Chinese lab.”

Pompeo stopped short of saying the virus was human-made, noting that he agreed with a report by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence that ruled out genetic modification or it having been human-made.

The virus’s origin has become a flash point in the pandemic and ratcheted up tensions between the U.S. and China. President Donald Trump has escalated efforts to attach blame to China as U.S. pandemic deaths pass 66,000.
https://www.oregonlive.com/business/2020/05/secretary-of-state-mike-pompeo-says-enormous-evidence-for-wuhan-lab-coronavirus-origin.html

That’s definitely not how the Coronavirus originated. However, it’s a good thing that there are other countries in the world that have their own intelligence agencies besides the US and China. Because while the US wants retaliation against China and Chinese hostility is at an all time high not seen since 1989, along comes Australia to shoot down Trump’s claims that the virus was made in a lab. And we all could have seen this one coming.

Despite Trump's comment Thursday that he has seen information that gives him high confidence that the outbreak was the result of an accidental release from a Wuhan laboratory, U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News that they have made no such assessment. There is no "smoking gun" evidence pointing them in that direction, they say, and there may never be.

Intelligence officials stand by the public statement put out Thursday by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which said that the intelligence community has concluded that the virus was not man-made but that it had reached no conclusion about whether it emerged accidentally from a lab or was transmitted to humans through animals.

NBC News reported last week that the White House has tasked the intelligence community with investigating that and other questions about the origin of the virus, the extent to which China covered it up and whether the World Health Organization was complicit in the cover-up. Some critics have raised the concern that the White House is pushing the intelligence agencies to validate a conclusion that helps it politically, by distracting attention from the question of whether it acted soon enough. China and the WHO deny that they were less than forthcoming, and China says the virus couldn't have come from one of its labs.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Sunday on ABC that "there is enormous evidence ... I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan." But he declined to detail the evidence, as did Trump when he was asked about it.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/did-coronavirus-really-escape-chinese-lab-here-s-what-we-n1199531

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day!

Shabbat shalom, my fair congregation! You know on this program we talk a lot about the Christian right and make fun of their antics on this program and rightfully so! But this week, we have to talk about what went down in New York City. Now do we necessarily agree with Gov. Cuomo’s actions here? No. We believe in the right to free expression, even in the worst pandemic not seen in over a century. And the very sad thing is that it’s my fellow zealots, who see the virus as an attack on their personal freedoms, that are going to keep this thing going. See, guys, there’s nobody attacking your rights, and the virus has put us all on the same page until there’s a way to deal with it. So in the meantime definitely don’t do something like this. Because that’s not what the good LAWRD would want!

The Anti-Defamation League and a New York City councilman are calling out Mayor Bill de Blasio after he condemned a large funeral gathering, saying he targeted the entire Jewish community when only one group of people broke the rules.

De Blasio said the gathering for a rabbi's funeral Tuesday in Williamsburg, New York, was "absolutely unacceptable" and noted it won't be tolerated.

"Something absolutely unacceptable happened in Williamsburg tonite: a large funeral gathering in the middle of this pandemic," de Blasio tweeted. "When I heard, I went there myself to ensure the crowd was dispersed. And what I saw WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed," de Blasio said in another tweet. "I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/29/us/new-york-city-mayor-large-funeral/index.html

But let’s not drink to this just yet. Here’s the thing, Rabbis, and no matter what your religious beliefs happen to be – this virus doesn’t care what your religion is. It doesn’t care what your status is or your economic level. Instead it targets all of us. And until there’s a cure, we’re all in the same boat. You know last week, we talked about how Christians think it is their GAWD given right to gather in large groups against what the CDC says. Well, here’s where we are in disagreement.

A spokeswoman for Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) said the mayor himself was on the scene with Police Commissioner Dermot Shea breaking up the crowd of mourners.

De Blasio spokeswoman Freddi Goldstein retweeted photos of Mertz's funeral on Tuesday night, writing, “I empathisize [sic] with the desire to mourn those we’ve lost, but this is absolutely unacceptable.”

The mayor tweeted that such gatherings "WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed. I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period," he wrote.

"We have lost so many these last two months + I understand the instinct to gather to mourn. But large gatherings will only lead to more deaths + more families in mourning. We will not allow this. I have instructed the NYPD to have one standard for this whole city: zero tolerance," he added.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/495178-scores-turn-out-for-funeral-of-rabbi-in-new-york

Yes, to life! Because we still want to be able to maintain ours! I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS, er, ABRAHAM would want! And look the long we continue to go out in groups, the worse this thing gets. I want to get back to my congregation and I’m sure you all would too! But no one is singling out anybody. We’re all on the same page here. New York is the worst city in America for this thing and it’s pretty understandable why DeBlasio would want to break up any large gathering!

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is being accused of unfairly singling out the Hasidic Jewish community, in enforcing COVID-19 restrictions.

He personally called on police to disperse hundreds of mourners, who gathered for a rabbi's funeral, defying social distancing rules.

He was furious the gathering took place at all, and mentioned the Jewish community by name in a tweet, saying the time for warnings has passed and arrests would be made of those who gather in large groups.

Some called on the mayor to apologize, resign, or called him anti-Jewish. Saying it was unfair for him to single out all Jews when it was just some from the Hasidic Orthodox community who gathered for the funeral. But the issue divided New York: Others expressed support for the mayor, and defended him calling out the funeral gathering.

On Wednesday, the mayor said he was not trying to single out the Jewish community, but did not back down from his criticism.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/04/york-city-mayor-accused-singling-jewish-community-200430092936501.html

See? Even Walter agrees with me! You all should too. If Saturday is supposed to be the day of rest for my Hebrew brothers and sisters, then you should absolutely abide by it! Because what’s a religion without a day of rest? But no one is getting any rest in the day and age of the Great Pandemic, for this virus is the unholy DEVIL himself! But you just got to suck it up and roll with it. We all need you to!

It started with a funeral that got out of hand. It ended Wednesday with some of New York City’s Jews at odds with the mayor over his criticisms of the Orthodox community as it struggles to deal with the coronavirus.

The funeral was for Rabbi Chaim Mertz, a revered Hasidic Orthodox leader whose death was reportedly linked to the coronavirus. The congregation that was hosting the gathering said Wednesday a funeral appropriate to the times was planned, with mourners wearing masks and saying their farewells from a distance.

Instead, thousands gathered Tuesday night at the Kahal Tolath Yakov synagogue in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg area. De Blasio personally joined in the dispersal of the crowd, and then tweeted that “my message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed.”

He told reporters Wednesday that he was sorry “if in my passion and in my emotion” he had caused offense, but described “no regrets” about calling out the Hasidic funeral.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/orthodox-jews-beset-virus-grapple-nyc-mayors-rebuke-70416441

So next time guys, just remember that next time, we’re all in the same boat no matter what religion you belong to. We should have a common goal of eliminating the enemy, and that enemy is a virus! Temple has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Land O Lakes Label Controversy
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Hey woke millennials, if you think that the Land O Lakes company removing the Native American woman from their label is racist, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! So in non virus news we are arguing over this in 2020. It’s really the latest incarnation of the Simpsons debate surrounding Apu. The question remains – is it racism? Or is it just a gross stereotype? Or is it a combination of both? And really in this day and age, is arguing over packaging what we should be contemplating right now? I personally think I’d be more concerned about something like a butter shortage.

America’s best-selling butter trended on Twitter Sunday -- but not because of a shortage.

Land O’Lakes, the brand that’s dominated shelves since 1921, announced in February it has started removing the iconic Native American woman “Mia” from its products and adding the phrase “Farmer-Owned.”

The Minnesota-based dairy company drew praise from the state’s lieutenant governor earlier this month, echoing the American Psychological Association’s finding that such mascots appear to have “a negative impact on the self-esteem of American Indian children.”

News of the removal gained traction on the social media Sunday after CNN anchor Jake Tapper tweeted an April 17 story from his network. It also drew criticism, with some responses defending the icon as a “beautiful image,” and suggesting that Quaker Oats Co.’s “Aunt Jemima” could be next to be targeted.

Robert DesJarlait, the son of the artist who remade Mia in the mid-1950s, said while the image had turned into a stereotype for some, others saw it as a source of pride.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-26/land-o-lakes-trends-on-twitter-even-without-a-butter-shortage

But is it really? Or is it just Apu 2.0? Yeah sure Native Americans have been through some of the worst that humanity has to offer, and they currently do not have the representation they deserve. Most of it is done through old fashioned stereotypes. However, on the list of things to worry about, the label on the Land O Lakes box currently ranks about a 1 out of 100. Even the descendant of the people who drew the label are like “WTF”.

She was never a stereotype.

That was my thought earlier this month when I heard that “Mia,” as the Land O’Lakes Native American maiden was known, had been taken off the butter box. She was gone, vanished, missing. I knew Mia had devolved into a stereotype in many people’s minds. But it was the stereotype some saw that bothered me.

North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), for instance, told the Pioneer Press in St. Paul, Minn., that the Land O’Lakes image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.” Others similarly welcomed the company’s removal of the “butter maiden” as long overdue.

How did Mia go from being a demure Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/04/29/my-ojibwe-father-drew-land-olakes-maiden-she-was-never-stereotype/

Yeah probably. So what’s the meltdown really about? Is it being racist or is it showing pride for your heritage? There’s plenty of solid arguments for both the former and the latter. Here’s the thing – this logo has been around for 100 years. That’s an entire century. And why all of a sudden? Well people and things do change with the times.

Just ahead of its 100th anniversary, Land O’Lakes has retired Mia, the indigenous woman who once featured prominently in its iconic logo, from all packaging. Many of the dairy company’s popular butters, creams, cheeses and other products will now display a serene portrait of a tree-fringed lake under the Land O’Lakes name, which will appear adorned with the phrase “farmer-owned.” The company expects to complete the phaseout by the end of 2020.

In a company statement released earlier this year, Land O’Lakes president and CEO Beth Ford described the move as realigning company packaging to reflect “the foundation and heart of our company culture—and nothing does that better than our farmer-owners whose milk is used to produce Land O’Lakes’ dairy products.”

Company representatives have shared similar declarations since February, when the new logo was first unveiled, in an apparent effort to draw publicity to Land O’Lakes’ new farming-focused branding. But as Kayla Ruble reports for NBC News’ Today, Mia’s disappearance has continued to command most of the attention around the switch.

Arriving on the heels of universities, sports teams and other businesses making comparable moves to drop indigenous images, symbols and titles from their logos, the Land O’Lakes change has been noted by some as necessary and perhaps long overdue.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mia-land-olakes-iconic-indigenous-woman-departs-packaging-mixed-reactions-180974760/

Again I say - yeah probably. But that raises yet another question – why? Land O’ Lakes isn’t the only company who’s dropped a logo with a Native American character or foreign characters. There’s the Washington Redskins, who have had endless debates about their name. There’s the Cleveland Indians, also the subject of endless debate. There’s also the famous debate surrounding Apu from the Simpsons, but where does this end? Only one way to find out.

DesJarlait cited comments from North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), who told the Pioneer Press that the image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.”

“Yes, it’s a good thing for the company to remove the image. … But we can’t stop there,” Buffalo — a registered member of the Mandan, Hidatsa and Arikara Nation — continued. “We as a whole need to keep pushing forward to address the underlying issues that directly impact an entire population that survived genocide.”

DesJarlait added that others had also welcomed removing Mia, the “butter maiden,” from the company’s packaging.

But, he wondered, “How did Mia go from being a demur Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?”

According to the Pioneer Press, Land O’Lakes President and CEO Beth Ford said the purpose of the label change was to acknowledge the Minnesota-based company’s farmer-owners “whose milk is used to produce Land O’ Lakes products as it prepared to turn 100 years old.”
https://www.bizpacreview.com/2020/04/30/got-rid-of-the-indian-kept-the-land-son-of-native-american-land-o-lakes-artist-rips-move-to-banish-mia-915115

[font size="8"]Third Party Candidates: How Is This Still A Thing
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Third Party Candidates: How Are They Still A Thing? There’s no mistake that Donald J. Trump is the most polarizing president in United States history. The people who love him, really, really love him. And the people who hate him, really, really hate him. But then again, there’s people who are searching for a third alternative to the leader of the free world. And watch for numerous attempts to unseat Trump in the fight for America in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. Which brings us to the Green Party. How is this still a thing? Well, the Green Party has certainly seen its’ share of detractors in previous elections, such as Ralph Nader and Jill Stein. The latest candidate to throw his hat in the ring is a guy who is very familiar with throwing hats into rings. Jesse Ventura, the former Minnesota governor and current conspiracy theorist is running to unseat Trump.

Just days after publicly musing about a presidential run, a former Minnesota governor has taken another step toward tossing his hat in the ring.

On Saturday, the Green Party of Minnesota announced its newest member: none other than Jesse Ventura.

The informal ceremony appears to have taken place in a pubic park in White Bear Lake.

It comes nearly a week after Ventura posted a tweet saying that if he were to run for president, "the GREEN party would be my first choice."

This weekend, Ventura retweeted a post that hinted at a coming White House run with the hashtag #Ventura2020.
https://bringmethenews.com/minnesota-news/jesse-ventura-joins-green-party-of-mn-amid-talk-of-white-house-run

Third parties in America are the ultimate third wheel. People know they exist, but nobody wants them or cares about them to seek them out. And those that do seek them out almost always get into trouble as a result. If Jesse Ventura isn’t your thing, you might want to consider the libertarian alternative – Michigan lawyer Justin Amash. Yes, he is running too, possibly to do some damage to Trump but we all know it will come back to bite Biden.

When I got on the phone with Rep. Justin Amash (I-MI) the day after he announced the launch of an exploratory committee for a potential run for the White House, my first question was, “Why are you doing this?”

The question didn’t come as a surprise to Amash, who entered Congress in 2010 as a strident Tea Party fiscal conservative only to leave the GOP last year before becoming the lone House conservative lawmaker to vote to impeach President Donald Trump. Now, five months later — and staring down an increasingly impossible reelection bid — he’s considering a third-party presidential run as a libertarian.

Amash, 40, told me he’s running because he believes he’s the best person for the job. “I think it’s important that we have someone who’s honest, who’s practical, who will have humility about the entire legislative process and the entire process for government and will allow us to get back to a place where we have a government that actually represents the people.”

Amash’s decision didn’t come as a total surprise — after all, he tweeted on April 15 that he was considering a presidential run. But the reactions to his announcement came fast and furious, particularly from Never Trump conservatives concerned he could pull votes away from Joe Biden and help incumbent Donald Trump win reelection.
https://www.vox.com/2020/5/4/21241068/justin-amash-libertarian-party-presidential-run-2020

Yes, in addition to having a third wheel, we might possibly have a fourth. But while the Green Party has no credibility in America – they are often seen as a joke, there might actually be some clout to the Justin Amash candidacy. Unlike some candidates, Amash knows people in Washington and has seen the government in action. But ever since George Wallace way back when, 3rd party candidates have always been a bit of a mixed bag.

The 2020 presidential election just got its first notable third-party challenger. Last Tuesday, Michigan Rep. Justin Amash, who left the Republican Party nine months ago and became an independent, announced he would run for president as a Libertarian. And while we won’t know whether Amash wins his new party’s nomination until later this month, here’s what we do know about third-party candidacies more broadly and what that could mean for President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden in the general election.

First, it’s unlikely Amash wins much of the vote in November. Take what happened in 2016. Third-party candidates won 6 percent of the vote, which was the largest share of the vote since Ross Perot ran for a second time in 1996, but it was still just 6 percent. As you can see in the chart below, third-party candidates don’t tend to win that much support. Our system just isn’t set up for successful third-party presidential bids.

However, that doesn’t mean Amash (or other third-party contenders) won’t matter in November. In this era of close elections, small shifts in the margins can matter a great deal to the final result, and third-party contenders can play a part in that. Amash’s candidacy, in particular, could affect the margins in some key battleground states, including his home state of Michigan, which was pivotal to Trump’s victory four years ago. Consider what happened in 2016: In 11 states, Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson’s raw vote total exceeded the vote margin separating Trump and Hillary Clinton. Now, that doesn’t mean Johnson necessarily changed who won in each of those states, but he and other third-party contenders (like Jill Stein of the Green Party) may have helped shape the outcome, especially in the three states that proved decisive in the Electoral College: Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/justin-amash-could-cause-some-trouble-in-november/

That is a good point Homer. But if we want to make sure that Biden wins in November and defeats Trump, there’s one obstacle that’s blocking everyone’s way: the coronavirus. Ever since the virus came and turned life upside down as we know it, it has put a dent in everyone’s plans, and third party candidates are not immune from the effects of this.

The pandemic may have robbed Donald Trump of a growing economy. It may have trapped Joe Biden in his basement. But it may yet do something even worse to the Libertarian and Green party nominees: Keep them off the ballot in many of this year’s key states.

In 2016, the Libertarian Party was on the general election ballot in all 50 states; this year, it has secured ballot access in just 35. Similarly, the Green Party—which in 2016 had its best election ever by making the ballot in 44 states, with a further three states granting the party’s candidate official write-in status—has qualified for the November ballot in only 22 states.

Several of the elusive ballot lines are in states that in 2016 were either narrowly won or flipped from red-to-blue. At present, neither the Libertarian Party nor the Green Party has qualified for the ballot in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Iowa or Minnesota. Additionally, the Green Party has not secured a place on the ballot in Arizona, Georgia or Nevada, and the Libertarian Party is missing from Maine.

To get on the ballot in the remaining states, they need to collect and submit petition signatures. And in a normal year, they would be on track to do just that. But because of the deadly coronavirus—and the social distancing and stay-at-home orders to minimize its spread—after March 6, “petitioning was over in the United States,” as Libertarian Party executive director Daniel Fishman told me.
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/04/19/coronavirus-election-2020-third-party-libertarian-green-trump-biden-193013

So even just making it to the ballot might be an impossibility for a lot of candidates considering taking a dent out of Biden or Trump, thanks to a certain virus. That is enough to make you ask – Third Party Candidates In The US:

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: The End Of Cinema?
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I don’t know about you guys but I could really use a drink!

Of course you guys know that when the news gets too dark, the only solution is to kick back with a glass of your favorite beverage and talk about anything that’s not politics. But this week, there’s a feud brewing and one of my favorite past times might be going away forever. So tell me virtual bartender, how might I celebrate the end of one of my favorite past times? With 2 buck chuck? No thanks, I will stick to my Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Folks, I don’t need to tell you that we are bored, tired, and pissed off because of our freedoms being restricted thanks to coronavirus. And now there’s feud brewing over one of my favorite past times – going to the movies. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Universal decided to bypass the middle man and release Trolls: World Tour straight to video, and well, it did some gangbusters business.

“Trolls World Tour” nabbed nearly $100 million in on-demand sales for NBCUniversal (CMCSA) during its first three weeks, and the surprise digital success story is now sparking a feud between U.S. movie theater chain AMC (AMC) and the prominent Hollywood studio.

Universal, which originally marketed the “Trolls” sequel as a box office film, made the decision to bypass its theatrical release due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Hollywood giant opted to offer the film as a premium video-on-demand (PVOD) rental at $20 a pop. For comparison, the original “Trolls” brought in $116 million in its first three weeks at the 2016 box office.

The move served as the first true test of whether or not a movie needed the theater in order to be successful. And NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell told "The Wall Street Journal" that the entertainment giant now plans to release future films directly on-demand, in addition to theaters.

“The results for ‘Trolls World Tour’ have exceeded our expectations and demonstrated the viability of PVOD,” Shell said. “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies on both formats.”
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/why-amc-might-not-have-the-right-cards-in-its-trolls-world-tour-battle-with-universal-120011795.html

Remember movie theaters, boys and girls? Well they were these buildings where you would pay money and they would show you a movie on a really big screen with a really awesome sound system. And they often had things like bars and restaurants attached to them to enhance the experience. But now there’s possibility that they might go away. We hope not.

Godzilla vs. King Kong. Ali vs. Frazier. Bird vs. Magic. Belichick’s Patriots vs. everyone.

These legendary battles gained a new competitor as Universal Pictures and AMC Theaters went head-to-head over...Trolls World Tour?! Why in the world is the largest theater chain in the U.S. picking a fight with a global corporation over an animated musical film based on toys you had as a child? And what does it mean for the future of the theatrical movie-going experience? The answers to these questions are complicated, but essentially boil down to the tension around how we are used to seeing movies versus how we’ve grown accustomed to seeing them in the past decade. It’s a long-simmering cold war that finally exploded—quite publicly—this week.

The typical relationship between cinema chains and film distributors has worked as such: Film studios (like Universal) lease out a movie to a theater in exchange for a portion of its ticket sales. It’s a symbiotic relationship, as theaters need movies to show and studios need the massive distribution abilities of the screens to ensure its movies are seen by large portions of people. As part of this agreement, theater chains are typically granted an exclusive 90-day period—known as windowing—wherein they receive the exclusive rights to show a film. The two groups then split the money the movie makes during the course of its run. However, this model has been challenged in recent years by streaming services—most notably Netflix—as those platforms have proven a studio can release content to a hungry audience and have it seen by a large number of people immediately.

As the coronavirus has ravaged Hollywood, cinemas and studios alike are left in a compromising position. With theaters closed, there’s not a traditional option for studios to showcase their product. This tension is why we’ve seen a number of studios, looking to recoup however possible, embrace releasing movies on premium video-on-demand (PVOD) platforms like Apple, Amazon, and so forth. The initial wave of movies to hit PVOD—The Invisible Man, The Hunt, The Way Back, and Onward, among others — were all films already released to theaters prior to Rona shutting everything down. Crucially, these movies moving to PVOD after their release still provided an element of windowing, still adhering to the standard relationship between theaters and distributors.
https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/amc-theaters-universal-pictures-feud/

So Trolls trolled movie theaters. Just like the name implies. But does that mean that movie theaters are going away permanently? Well they are at least for the duration of this nightmare pandemic that we are in. We want to go out, we want movies back the way they were. I quite frankly can’t wait for phase 4 of the MCU to start. But will we watch it on our flat screens or will we watch it in the traditional formats?

Well that’s reassuring. It’s good to know that there’s thin-skinned bullies in charge of every aspect of our lives. And when you employ a business of over 10,000 that is teetering on the edge of the cliff financially because you need physical people to show up at your complexes, you’re doing the best job you can to actually push it over the cliff. That’s what you need. That’s what is needed to save a business in these trying times.

Coronavirus cases are rising in about half of US states, and so naturally, some Republican governors are ready to declare victory. Georgia’s Brian Kemp is leading the charge, and this upcoming Monday the Peach State will reopen its gyms, bowling alleys, massage parlors, and movie theaters. But the fact that they can open doesn’t mean they will, and today AMC Theatres announced it won’t unshut any of its 6,300+ cinemas until Hollywood studios begin releasing new blockbuster movies.

Via The Hollywood Reporter, AMC released a statement detailing their plans for the next few months. After the usual caveats about “the health and safety of our guests,” the world’s largest movie theater chain suggested that simply lifting stay-at-home orders won’t be enough to put butts into seats. Instead, they need film titles “that get people truly excited.”

“To be able to open, we also need a line of sight into a regular schedule of new theatrical blockbusters that get people truly excited about returning to their favorite movie theaters. Those blockbusters are scheduled to return this summer, beginning with Warner Brothers’ Tenet and Disney’s Mulan, with many more major titles scheduled immediately thereafter.”

Christopher Nolan’s Tenet drops on July 17th, and Mulan rides into battle on July 24th.
https://consequenceofsound.net/2020/04/amc-theatres-wont-reopen-until-new-movies/

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3: Batshit Conference Championship
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Welcome back to Stupidest State 2020! Yes we’re all still reeling and feeling the pinch from the virus, but we are getting some sweet action as the Layover League finals are set! #2 Florida is still red hot as it looks to upend #1 Alabama and head to the championship this year! As we know, Alabama last year stunned Florida and went on to win the title. This year, Florida is out for revenge. But who will they be playing? This time we’re heading to the Flyover League as the Batshit Conference championship pits #1 Virginia against #3 Idaho! And what do these two states have in common? Well, they look to take away counties from their neighboring states because – crazy gun nuts don’t like being ruled by a democratic governor! We’re live in San Jose at the SAP Center, the home of the Sharks for more action action action!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Championship: Virginia Vs Idaho[/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

Well last time Virginia hung on to defeat their neighboring rivals in Kentucky. And Virginia may be for lovers and they do have a democratic governor, but they are also home to some of the craziest gun nuts in the country and some good old fashioned white supremacy that dates back to the 1800s. But lately under the guise of Democratic governor Ralph Northram – a favorite punching bag of Trump and Fox News, gun nuts have been getting extremely restless. And thanks to help from a friend of Trump, Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr, they might get their wish!

Thousands of Virginia residents have shown up at meetings across the state to try to block Democrats from enacting new gun laws, with some gun rights supporters openly discussing violent resistance and civil war.

The backlash to gun control in Virginia is being fueled by conspiracy theories and misinformation, and some observers worry that the escalating rhetoric may spark violence.

When Democrats won control of Virginia’s state government for the first time in 26 years in November 2019, they pledged to pass a series of standard gun control laws, including universal background checks and bans on military-style “assault weapons” and high-capacity ammunition magazines. The agenda was no surprise: state Democrats had run for office on a platform of gun violence prevention, backed by funding from national gun control groups.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/09/virginia-gun-control-second-amendment-civil-war

Whew, that may be a bit extreme, sir. But no matter what state these counties may choose to call home, one thing is for certain – these people are the same group of assholes no matter what state you choose to belong to! And no matter what state you join, it doesn’t increase your representation in Congress and it just makes you look stupid. So what would make this second amendment heaven?

A loosely connected band of Western Virginians is urging their home localities to consider undertaking an unusual measure to buffer themselves from potential laws and policies they argue will further marginalize the Commonwealth’s conservative regions.

They say the localities should revisit an idea that several of them passed on more than 150 years ago: Join West Virginia, a state that itself was formed after a collective of Virginia counties during the Civil War realized that they didn’t exactly share the same values as the rest of the Old Dominion.

The move, dubbed Vexit by its supporters, appears to have some early support from some West Virginia lawmakers, who last month introduced a resolution that would invite certain Virginia counties and cities to be admitted to the Mountain State.

Joseph McClung, a more than 50-year resident of Giles County, is a proponent of the idea. This past week, the 70-year-old Norfolk Southern retiree went before Giles and Tazewell counties’ boards of supervisors to make the plea.
https://www.roanoke.com/news/local/vexit-almost-second-amendment-heaven-west-virginia/article_b784b2e9-2807-5651-83ec-cdc762a99acf.html

Yeah remember the Civil War? It was that thing that your great grandparents fought and died for over 150 years ago? Yeah that thing. But at least there’s slightly cooler heads in Virginia as they are rejecting their offers to join West Virginia and they’re perfectly fine under democratic rule. So yeah suck it gun nuts, but you’re definitely on the losing end of this battle.

Like many of his neighbors in this small, rural community in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, Eston Foster believes in the right to bear arms. He grew up with guns, both for recreation and protection, and is a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment.

He wasn’t very happy, then, when Democrats won control of the Virginia House and Senate in November for the first time in more than 20 years. Especially since they promised to pass gun control measures that included a ban on assault weapons.

While he hesitates to call himself a Republican, the 23-year-old admits to being conservative. He supported his home county declaring itself a Second Amendment “sanctuary” with more than 100 other towns, cities and counties in Virginia. And he’s angry his state Senate recently passed a “red flag” law that would allow authorities to temporarily take away firearms from someone deemed dangerous to themselves or others.

Mr. Foster also took issue with Gov. Ralph Northam declaring a state of emergency ahead of a pro-gun rally in Richmond last month that proceeded without violence.
https://www.post-gazette.com/news/politics-nation/2020/02/24/west-virginia-annexation-gun-rights-secede/stories/202002170103

[font size="4"]Idaho [/font]

The Gem State is known for potatoes. It’s also known for that mesmerizing and certainly hypnotic blue field that is the center of every Idaho State game. But just like Virginia, Idaho is also at the center of a gun-fueled battle for control of the state. But unlike Virginia, there’s a much bigger slice of the pie that’s at stake if the gun nuts get their way. Of course the virus has put a slow down on this but don’t think that it couldn’t happen.

Frustrated by liberal policies, some Oregon residents petitioned to leave the state – by moving the border with Idaho westward.

The movement secured initial approval from two counties and aims to get enough signatures to put the proposal on ballots in November, according to the group called Greater Idaho.

If the group succeeds, voters in southeast Oregon may see a question on whether their county should become part of Idaho by redrawing the border.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners, said in a news release. “We tried voting those legislators out, but rural Oregon is outnumbered and our voices are now ignored. This is our last resort.”
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/02/17/oregon-idaho-border-petition-secede/4789936002/

That is a good point sir! Although unlike Virginia we actually have a chance that Idaho could join Oregon counties because – wait for it – Idaho has a conservative Trumpster governor! Yes, the governor of Idaho is actively supporting the gun nuts! This is a massive bombshell in this whole thing because it could really change up things if Oregon were to lose half the state.

On Tuesday, Umatilla County—located in northeastern Oregon—joined Southern Oregon counties Josephine and Douglas to become the third rural Oregon county to pass a petition asking voters if they would like to move their county to Idaho, according to the group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho, a political nonprofit organization.

The petition will need to gather at least 1,477 valid signatures in order for it to appear as a measure on the November ballot for Umatilla County. If voters pass the measure, it would compel county commissioners to participate in future negotiations regarding Umatilla County’s admittance to Idaho, according to the East Oregonian.

However, the final decision to redraw state borders would have to be approved by both the Oregon and

“They’re looking at Idaho fondly because of our regulatory atmosphere, our values,” Little told Fox News. “What they’re interested [in] is they would like to have a little more autonomy, a little more control, a little more freedom and I can understand that.”
https://www.corvallisadvocate.com/2020/idaho-governor-digs-rural-oregon-secession-movement-another-county-joins/

Yeah remember those idiots from the George Bush era? I certainly do! These morons are the same no matter where you go. They refuse to listen to anyone else’s opinions and are in it for themselves. It’s the “I’ve got mine, fuck you” crowd. But in fact the Idaho movement to get Oregon to join them actually might have more clout than the Virginia movement. But don’t usurp my state as part of it!

Some residents in Oregon are fed up with living under Democratic control of their state government and have launched a ballot initiative campaign to join Republican-led Idaho.

The movement, known as “Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho,” is hoping to expand the borders of the Gem State through the inclusion of more than a dozen bordering rural counties now in Oregon.

Mike McCarter, chief petitioner of the secession effort, has noted though that the movement is in its infancy and would take years to accomplish, even if successful. The process for counties to leave Oregon include passing a ballot initiative, getting approval from the state legislature — currently controlled by Democrats — and then also getting Idaho to pass legislation approving new counties into the state. McCarter said the movement ultimately is about signaling the unhappiness rural conservatives in Oregon have with the state legislature.

McCarter has gotten the “green light” in at least three Oregon counties — Josephine, Douglas and Umatilla — that would start the first step in the secession process, which would be collecting signatures to eventually end up on the November 2 ballot.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners of the movement, wrote on the website for the Greater Idaho movement.
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/rural-conservatives-in-oregon-look-to-join-idaho-with-eye-on-taking-over-part-of-california/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Oh my god ladies and gentlemen we have an upset brewing! Right now Idaho has the lead after 15 unanswered points… they have the ball, it’s over!! Idaho wins by 5! Final score – 79 – 74! Idaho sinks Virginia – once favored, now they will go home! They are celebrating and they move on to the Final Four! Cut the net guys you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the final round of Week 2! It’s the last but certainly not last as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against underdog #4 Nebraska! We are in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center! Getting exciting, folks!

See you next week!

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May 4, 2020

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Think you’re going stir crazy from the coronavirus lockdown? Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones can probably top whatever disturbing thoughts you might be having.

He said on his far-right radio talk show Friday that he’s willing to go full cannibal.

If COVID-19 shutdowns continue, he said, he has “extrapolated this out” and may have to resort to drastic and disgusting methods of survival.

“I’ll admit it. I will eat my neighbors,” Jones said, predicting a dystopian future plagued by food shortages.

“I won’t have to for a few years ’cause I got food and stuff ― but I’m literally looking at my neighbors now and going, ’I’m ready to hang ’em up and gut ’em and skin ’em. My daughters aren’t starving to death. I will eat my neighbors. ... I will.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/alex-jones-cannibalism-covid-19_n_5eac56e7c5b624b39692b1f2

And there you have it folks, Alex Jones officially admits that he would eat some ass. Perhaps maybe with some fava beans and a nice chilled Chianti. Well I mean come on, if you're going to to cannibal, you might as well go full Hannibal Lecter!

**Canned audience laughter and applause**

This week the Top 10 is yet another home show and jam packed! The MAGA protests get more insane, we find out what could go wrong if we reopen too soon, we play a game of what is Elon Musk smoking, aliens might possibly exist, we probe the Land O Lakes label controversy, and we ask how the Green Party is still a thing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, after there are many debates on the origins of coronavirus, there's only one true theory and we will explore that in detail! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to take a break from making fun of the Christian right and embrace his Jewish side, because what is going on with them in NYC? It is quite the stuff of insanity. Plus we also have a new I Need A Drink - could movie theaters be a thing of the past or are we just really, really bored? We will find out the answer! And it's also time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! This week it's a tale of secession, guns and greed as the Batshit Conference finals pit heavily favored #1 Virginia against red hot #3 Idaho!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion

April 29, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up everyone? We’re stuck inside another week while this virus lingers throughout the atmosphere. But we’re making the most of it. And we also thank you for sticking with us in this trying time. We do have plans to come back better than ever during the 9th season when we will be taking a look at Joe Biden’s road to the White House. Yeah how exciting is that? This could be our first real shot at taking down Trump. I cannot wait until that happens. Do we have time for the thing? First off today is national superhero day – who is your favorite superhero? I know my answer would easily be Iron Man, though I would take a page for the Incredible Hulk and Bruce Banner. Then you got to add Dr. Strange, Captain America, Thor, the whole Avengers lineup really. Of course with the new Black Widow movie being delayed for obvious reasons, we will have to wait to get some female superheroes. But I also can’t wait for Wonder Woman 1984 in August, that should hopefully breathe some life into the dismal and non-existent box office ratings. I do remember that we used to have these things called movie theaters where you would pay money to go watch a movie on a really large screen with a really awesome sound system and you would . I can’t wait to get those back. Argh, life under quarantine sucks balls. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Bill Maher is back and he outlines the grim conditions we treat our food supply with that gave us COVID:

Well another week, another home show for the time being. So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is of course Donald J. Trump (1) and just when you thought he couldn’t possibly get any dumber, he recommends that people go out and inject bleach and inhale Lysol to cure the virus because, reasons. In the number 2 slot this week is Mitch McConnell (2) and he is essentially taking the culture war up a notch and telling blue states to go fuck themselves and declare bankruptcy, despite that blue states are working with red states. In the number 3 slot this week we’re going to do our due diligence on when the economy should reopen. There’s many sides to this debate and well, we have no clear answer because right now the virus is in charge. And unless it goes anywhere, we’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future. Taking the fourth slot this week, is Donald Trump Supporters (4) and in a time when it’s absolutely critical to listen to science and experts, they want to do the opposite and flat out fire Dr. Fauci. Yeah they’re insane. Taking the fifth slot this week, is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at vaccines for the coronavirus and what you can expect as they get deployed. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is going to look at the brewing Holy War on Social Distancing. Really, religion is going to make this thing that much worse. At slot #7 – is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” and why are we over celebrities? This is a weird phenomenon trending on social media, but nobody knows where it originated from, and we will get to the bottom of it! Taking the 8th slot this week – we add Georgia’s governor Brian Kemp (8) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and we have a lot of those lately! For the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new I Need A Drink, and this week we’re having some drinks and discussing how the hell someone swiped a rare Van Gogh painting while the whole country of France is in lockdown! Yes, that happened! Finally this week, we have Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2! This week it’s a Family Values faceoff as #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for a spot to play Florida in the Final Four! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Mark it down: 4/23/20. That is the day that the President Of The United States, in his trying and infinite wisdom, simply stopped giving a flying fuck. See, we at the Top 10 have been tracking Trump’s exploits since he first wormed his way down that golden escalator way back in 2015, which by today’s standards, literally seems like an eternity ago. Remember civilization? I miss those times. But last week, he crossed the line and just stopped caring about us. Remember that in November, kids. Want a president who will be at your side? Vote Biden. Want a president who will bring about the apocalypse and then not give a shit about you? Then vote Trump. Because here’s what you get with a Donald J. Trump presidency as opposed to a president who actually listens to experts.

Presented with incontrovertible evidence that Donald Trump is stupid and clueless and that the American people should not follow his advice, reporters and editors in America's top newsrooms averted their eyes.

Home delivery subscribers to the Washington Post, for instance, wouldn't have a clue that Trump on Thursday evening proposed injecting patients with disinfectants to see if they would kill the coronavirus in lungs, as they do on the kitchen counter. There was no mention of it in the print edition.

Yes, Trump actually asked, after hearing a presentation on how bleach and rubbing alcohol can kill the virus on surfaces: "Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because, you see, it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that."

Is there a stupider, more dangerous thing he could possibly say? Could he possibly give a clearer indication that he is manifestly unfit to lead the nation during a public health crisis? Small children know better than this.
https://www.salon.com/2020/04/24/dont-drink-the-bleach-why-is-the-elite-press-still-covering-for-trumps-profound-stupidity/

Yes, poison control is higher than number one! But really we have a president who’s a fucking sitcom character. He is the kind of character who’s the annoying neighbor who is constantly looking for his next get rich quick scheme, and then when said scheme backfires on him, he desperately wants to get a “get out of jail free” card. And that’s what this is. But like all things that happen, actions have consequences.

Illinois Poison Control has seen an uptick in calls since President Donald Trump questioned if injecting disinfectant could cure coronavirus.

Dr. Nogzi Ezike, head of the Illinois Department of Public Health, warned people not to try to use cleaning products on or in their bodies to fight coronavirus. She also said Illinois Poison Control has gotten more callers after Trump’s Thursday comments.

“Injecting, ingesting, snorting household cleaners is dangerous. It is not advised and can be deadly,” Ezike said during a Saturday press conference. “In the past two days, there’s been a significant increase in calls to the Illinois Poison Center compared to the same time last year.”

The governor’s office did not immediately provide numbers showing how large an uptick there has been.
https://blockclubchicago.org/2020/04/25/illinois-poison-control-gets-more-calls-after-trump-incorrectly-wondered-if-disinfectants-can-fight-coronavirus/

Yeah exactly Trump is Newman in this case! His scheme to peddle hydroxychloroquine is backfiring on him, now he’s suggesting that people simply drink bleach. And never mind that bleach packages have giant warning labels on them, and Rob Gronkowski did a commercial to remind people not to eat Tide Pods (see: Top 10 #4-2). But no, we have a president who is telling people to drink bleach.

A talk radio caller suggested vaping bleach as a possible treatment for coronavirus, and conservative host Jeff Kuhner assured him the recommendation wasn’t crazy.

The caller, who identified himself as Zack from Stoughton, called into Boston’s WRKO-AM on Friday morning to talk about President Donald Trump’s dangerous suggestion to use disinfectants or powerful light internally to treat COVID-19.

“I’ve been thinking about this thing,” Zack began. “I was a smoker for years, I smoked about three packs a day, and I never liked this new vape thing coming out with the nicotine in it, but I also have a bunch of friends with big cleaning companies.”

After hearing an ad on Kuhner’s program offering a disinfecting service during the pandemic, Zack said he started connecting the dots and wondered whether vape pens could deliver bleach and other disinfecting chemicals into infected lungs.

https://www.rawstory.com/2020/04/conservative-radio-host-agrees-with-caller-that-vaping-bleach-might-cure-covid-19-youre-not-crazy/

Seriously, we went from curing polio and exploring the moon to telling people that they shouldn't drink bleach. And after realizing tha Trump is our president and he's spouting this nonsense, it occurred to me, this is why we don't get nice things. That is a huge drop off in the ever ongoing sad state of humanity in 2020. At least this has been good for some cheap laughs, and god knows we need more of that in society to get us through this thing. Even Snoop Dogg is having some laughs at Trump’s expense, and at this point, I’d much rather have Snoop in charge!

Rapper Snoop Dogg shared a depiction of President Donald Trump drinking bleach on Instagram, following the president's suggestion that maybe disinfectant may be used to treat the virus, via injection.

During a press briefing on Thursday, Trump suggested that ultraviolet light or disinfectant maybe used to treat COVID-19. "And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning?" he said, according to BBC. "So it'd be interesting to check that."

Snoop was one of many people to show his skepticism for the disinfectant treatment. The image Snoop shared showed Trump pouring a giant bottle of Clorox right into his mouth. He said that he thought if Trump or his supporters tried it first, maybe then he'd give it a shot. "Aight u go first then ya voters and I'll be here waiting to c [sic] how y'all feel before I go under my kitchen sink for some bleach," he wrote in the caption.

Granted, Trump did qualify his statement by saying that he wasn't a doctor. "I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what," he said.
https://www.newsweek.com/snoop-dogg-trump-drinking-bleach-1500073

[font size="8"]Restarting The Economy
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It’s no secret that the coronavirus has just annihilated our way of life. Business has grinded to a halt, as has all domestic and international travel. There’s no events of any kind being held. There’s no school, people can’t return to their jobs safely. Retail, construction, and restaurants are feeling the pain of the virus. People are getting restless and stir crazy not being able to leave their houses. So what do you do? How do you reopen the economy? Let’s use the model from the magazine of choice from my youth – Highlights For Children. Most particularly the comic strip Goofus and Gallant. There’s the Gallant way of reopening the economy – doing things the smart and safe way. And then there’s the Goofus way – doing things reactionary and stupidly. Considering the way things are going, we have way more Goofuses than Gallants in this country.

Today California governor Gavin Newsom and Department of Public Health leader Dr. Sonia Angell outlined a broad plan to reopen the state’s economy, including the limited reintroduction of in-room dining for restaurants and other openings for non-essential businesses like manufacturing, childcare facilities, retail, and even gyms and hair salons. Newsom continued to decline to give an official reopening date, but noted that “we believe we are weeks, not months away, from making meaningful modifications” to the state’s stay-at-home directive.

Newsom outlined four broad phases that California is working through during the current coronavirus pandemic, saying that the current lockdown represents phase one. “As we move into phase two, where businesses can begin to reopen,” Newsom said, “we need to make sure that guidance is abided by, and is organized in a very deliberate way.”

Phase two includes lower-risk spaces like restaurants and retail, which could be modified for more consistent curbside pickups and limited physical interactions. As for schools, Newsom said that the state is considering moving up the fall 2020 school year to “July or early August,” with restaurants and retail expected to reopen before that.

It remains crucial to “make the essential workforce environment as safe as possible” for both customers and employees before an official reopening rollout, said Dr. Angell, though she did note some “cautious optimism” with the current flattening of the curve statewide. Part of that safety included the continued practice of physical distancing, wearing face masks, and wage security for those employees who fall ill while still employed.
https://la.eater.com/2020/4/28/21240193/california-governor-gavin-newsom-economy-business-reopening-news-los-angeles-coronavirus

So that’s how Gallant does things – and we’ve even had two more states join our coalition. In fact multiple states are making pacts out there since nobody can rely on the guy who we call president to get any jobs done. While we’re waiting for the worst of this virus to subside, it will be interesting to see how things slowly get back to normal. But we won’t be jumping in the deep end just yet. It will be a gradual progression.

Colorado and Nevada on Monday became the latest states to join California, Oregon and Washington in the Western States Pact, a working group of Western state governors that will coordinate how to reopen from the stay-at-home orders each has issued to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.

"There's no silver bullet that will solve this pandemic until there is a cure, so we must have a multifaceted and bold approach in order to slow the spread of the virus, to keep our people safe and help our economy rebound," Colorado Gov. Jared Polis, a Democrat, said in a statement on Monday.

Nevada Democratic Gov. Steve Sisolak echoed that message, saying he "believe(s) the sharing of critical information and best practices on how to mitigate the spread, protect the health and safety of our residents and reopen responsibly will be invaluable as we chart our paths forward."

The inclusion of Colorado and Nevada in the Western States Pact bolsters the collaborative approach to reopening embraced by Democratic governors across the country.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/27/politics/colorado-nevada-western-states/index.html

This is how Gallant does things. We all want things to get back to normal. We all want to get back to the plans we had before this nightmare pandemic happened. I get it, we all get it! Now let’s see how Goofus does things. If anything this is going to have more of a long term effect than if we just stayed put. Hey, the sooner we get rid of this awful POS virus the better. But don’t do what Goofus does.

Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said during an interview Tuesday that Governor Brian Kemp's decision to reopen businesses was "dangerously incompetent and deeply callous."

Citing the right-to-work nature of employment throughout the state, Abrams said during the interview, conducted by former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, that low-wage workers in particular would risk forfeiting their jobs if they passed up opportunities to resume work during the coronavirus outbreak.

"We're telling the most vulnerable people in our society, 'You can either work or you can lose your life,'" said Abrams, a Democrat. "We are putting them at risk, and we're putting their families at risk."

Last week, Georgia became the first state to begin lifting widespread restrictions imposed during the pandemic. Tattoo parlors, gyms, bowling alleys and salons were permitted to reopen last Friday, and movie theaters were allowed to reopen Monday. Although restaurants could also begin serving dine-in patrons this week, more than 120 around the state have said they don't plan to resume dine-in operations just yet.
https://www.newsweek.com/stacey-abrams-says-decision-reopen-georgia-was-dangerously-incompetent-deeply-callous-1500787

See Georgia??? You could have had Stacy Abrams as your governor and she would keep your safety in mind, but no, you had to go and elect the jackass. Because by not listening to experts, here’s what you are going to get. Rather than completely flattening this curve, you’re going to keep it going for the next several months, possibly years. So yeah don’t be like Goofus.

As some Southeastern US states start to reopen, Georgia is projected to see its number of daily Covid-19 deaths nearly double by early August, according to a model shared by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and created by independent researcher Youyang Gu.

The epidemiological model, which provides projections for 40 countries and every US state, has been included among the seven models CDC highlights on its website for Covid-19 forecasting.

Gu said Tuesday that his model is based on an epidemiological methodology called SEIS, which stands for susceptible, exposed, infectious, susceptible modeling.

"We use a very classic epidemiologic model," Gu said, adding that his model is updated daily and he is concerned other models are under-projecting deaths.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/health/georgia-coronavirus-death-projections/index.html

[font size="8"]The War On Experts
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Welcome to an America that’s under far right religious conservative control. Experts in their respective fields do not need application. We don’t need no stinking public health experts or doctors to guide us out of a pandemic. We need prayer warriors and the MyPillow guy. Never mind that places like New Zealand or Germany or South Korea – which are led by people who know things like science, are close to having this beast fully contained. But oh no, not here in the States. Here in the US, you can be a breeder of Labradoodles one day and then be the US pandemic expert the next. I believe this is the concept known as “failing upward”.

(CNN)A former Labradoodle breeder, an internet thug and a college senior walk into the White House.

This may sound like the set-up of a joke. During the pandemic, however, with the US death toll passing 50,000, these actual administration officials are a grim reminder that we shouldn't expect much from the Trump administration.

Any remaining hope of competency within the Trump administration may have been dashed on Thursday when President Donald Trump mused about using sunlight or injections of disinfectant as Covid-19 treatments (DO NOT DO THIS).

While Dr. Deborah Birx, the coronavirus response coordinator, did shoot down Trump's bizarre ideas during the news conference, other members of the Trump team have not inspired much confidence.
Brian Harrison, who serves as the chief of staff to Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, was tasked with handling the department's virus response in January.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/25/opinions/white-house-pandemic-team-labradoodle-breeder-dantonio/index.html

Hey maybe the repo men will get jobs as Trump’s new commerce secretary! Gee is it any wonder why we’re fucked for the foreseeable future? If we had competent leadership, imagine what we could accomplish in our war on this horrible virus! So let’s explore this clusterfuck for a minute. In America – unqualified professionals can get qualified for extremely dangerous jobs, like sheriffs could be used car salesman, or drive thru laborers can be coroners. That’s how this happened.

The unfortunate thing about the Trump administration, beyond the nepotism, incompetence, mass corruption, idiot kids, white nationalism, wholesale assault on the concept of truth, and pure evil, is that oftentimes it’s beyond parody. For instance, we already knew the federal government’s response to the coronavirus crisis has been catastrophically bad, from the months of insisting the virus was fake news, to a criminal lack of early—and current!—testing, to listening to Dr. Jared Kushner’s advice on the matter, to pushing for a dangerously premature reopening of the country. But despite everything we know, it would just be too much to learn that, at one point, a dog breeder was running the administration’s coronavirus task force. And yet!

Reuters reports the nearly impossible-to-believe news that back in January, Health and Human Services secretary Alex Azar “tapped a trusted aide with minimal public health experience to lead the agency’s day-to-day response to COVID-19.” The aide was Brian Harrison, 37, and the move was somewhat surprising, given that prior to joining the administration in 2018 as Azar’s deputy chief of staff, he spent six years running a company called Dallas Labradoodles, which is not, in fact, some kind of code name for a firm doing cutting-edge medical research or developing vaccines or doing anything remotely related to humans. Instead, Dallas Labradoodles, which Harrison sold for $225,000 in April 2018, pretty much does exactly what you’d expect: sells Australian Labradoodles, which are a cross between poodles and Labrador retrievers. Which are actually quite cute dogs! They are supposedly “friendly, social, loyal, loving, smart, curious, and happy”! Which is nice for the people adopting them, though less helpful vis-à-vis the pandemic that has killed more than 47,000 Americans to date and infected over 850,000! Funny how that works!
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/04/brian-harrison-dog-breeder-coronavirus

Except that it’s really not that impossible. This is America, we are a land of fuck ups! And we’ve been that land of fuck ups since 1980, even more so going into 2020! Yeah sure, we had some bright spots here and there, but the fact remains that we really fucked up on this one. And by we, I mean the Trump administration, he has a history of hiring shitty experts. Shit, even Mitch McConnell thinks this is a bad idea!

Even Mitch McConnell seems to think it'd be wise for President Trump to scale back his time behind the White House podium. The Senate majority leader said Monday that it would "probably be a good idea" to focus coronavirus briefings on public health experts, rather than the president, whose fact-challenged scientific claims often steal the spotlight.

Fox News Radio's Guy Benson asked McConnell if it would be "wise" for the White House's coronavirus briefings to be shortened, or to not have the president show up every day.

"Well, certainly what the American people are most interested in is the advice from health professionals about how to conduct their daily lives safely," McConnell, a Kentucky Republican, told Fox News Radio. "To the extent that the White House decides to re-craft those briefings to reflect that goal — would probably be a good idea."
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-coronavirus-briefings-health-experts-mcconnell/

Trump, you’re a leader! It is your job to lead! You’re here for us, we are not here for you! And leaders are supposed to lead by listening to people that know shit! They don’t listen to a guy who hawks ridiculously cheap pillows on late night infomercials! So why is any medical or public health professional putting up with his bullshit?

Does President Donald Trump not know that people will believe him when he speaks from the White House podium? Does he not care?

He has made clear, again, that he either doesn't understand the concept of science or doesn't care about it. Both options are bad.

He's the President. That's not changing for at least nine months, and maybe not for another four years. But now he's making up medicine (see below).

Even if you can believe his attempt to say his bad medicine was actually sarcasm (but, really, you shouldn't), let's all agree the time for sarcasm ended sometime around the time the pandemic happened.

Should all the capable doctors around him resign? He has, at times, listened to them. He criticized the reopening of Georgia earlier this week after a talking-to by Dr. Deborah Birx.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/25/politics/what-matters-april-24/index.html

[font size="8"]Firing Fauci
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We’re battling two pandemics right now. The first pandemic of course is the dreaded COVID-19 disease that is currently plaguing the landscape. The second pandemic is rampant insanity with an added dose of stupidity! We really are living in Idiocracy right now, and that movie isn’t supposed to be a documentary, either. Do you really try to fire and point fingers at the one guy who’s trying to help save your life? Well, in this upside down Trump world that we are living in, the answer to that question is most easily yes. Because in the minds of the Trumpers, everything is upside down and inside out. Bad is good, night is day, and so on. In fact here’s how this is shaping up right now.

Dr. Francis Collins, director of the National Institutes of Health, said in an interview published Tuesday he was not pressured to fire Dr. Anthony Fauci after President Donald Trump retweeted a message earlier this month calling for the ouster of America’s top infectious disease expert.

Asked by the health news website Stat whether he was concerned he would have to make an “impossible decision” in the aftermath of the president’s social media post, Collins maintained he was never worried he would be forced to remove Fauci as director of NIH’s National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases — a position Fauci has held for more than three decades.

“I didn’t actually think that was likely to happen, so no, I don’t think I was worried. And certainly nobody reached out to me at that point,” Collins said, adding that he and Fauci speak by phone every evening. “I don’t think we ever talked about that tweet.”

In recent months, Fauci has become one of the most widely recognized and respected faces of the federal government’s management of the novel coronavirus. His even-keeled, data-focused response to the pandemic has even fostered an ardent fan base, with calls for the 79-year-old immunologist to be named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” or awarded a Nobel Prize.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/21/faucis-boss-says-wasnt-pressured-to-oust-after-trump-retweet-198036

No, no one is getting fired just yet. But really this is getting to be quite ridiculous. And as we’ve repeatedly said on this program is that Trump is a guy whose bad side you do not want to get on, by any stretch of the imagination. His ass likes getting kissed, like any good mobster, and he will let you know it or not know it.

Asked Monday while appearing on ABC's Good Morning America about protests popping up around the country against local stay-at-home measures, Dr. Anthony Fauci warned such demonstrations may "backfire."

“I think the message is that, clearly, this is something that is hurting from the standpoint of economics, from the standpoint of things that have nothing to do with the virus,” Fauci replied. “But, unless we get the virus under control, the real recovery, economically, is not gonna happen.”

He continued, “If you jump the gun and go into a situation where you have a big spike, you’re gonna set yourself back. So as painful as it is to go by the careful guidelines of gradually phasing into a reopening, it’s going to backfire. That’s the problem.”

Multiple rallies organized through social media have been cropping up last week, and more are planned for this week, deploying thousands of protesters. They all had a common message to governors: relax the strict stay-at-home orders deployed to combat COVID-19.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/04/20/fauci-warns-coronavirus-orders-protests-may-backfire/5167386002/

Don’t you know that it’s a bad idea to listen to social media protestors? They’ve given us nothing but bad things like the anti-vaccination movement and the Flat Earth Society. These are people who you should not listen to! And don’t listen to their attempts to fire Dr. Fauci – there’s no reason for that under any circumstances. Don’t fire the one guy who’s trying to help! But does Trump even really have the power to do this?

Congress can prevent this: It ought to pass a law stipulating that directors of the centers and research institutes that are part of the National Institutes of Health—officials like Fauci—should be removable only for malfeasance, neglect of office, or incapacity, but not for mere policy differences or politically inconvenient messaging. Similar protections exist for the heads of numerous independent agencies, such as the Federal Trade Commission and Social Security Administration. These protections prevent presidential politics from excessively influencing an administrator’s performance.

As it happens, the Supreme Court is supposed to decide a case this term that could make it more difficult for Congress to limit when the president may discharge executive-branch officials to cases of “good cause.” At least since the Reagan administration, opponents of independent agencies have insisted that such restrictions impinge on the executive power vested in the president by Article II of the Constitution. The current dispute focuses on the director of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau.

Advocates of what’s known as “unitary-executive theory” insist that presidents have constitutionally guaranteed authority to fire all executive officers at will and to command them in how they make policy. Heretofore, the Supreme Court has consistently rejected that argument. The majority of our executive-indulgent Court, however, now likely subscribes to that theory, no matter how grounded in myth it may be. The question is to what degree that majority will consider itself bound by precedent not to destabilize the long list of agencies, including the Federal Reserve System, whose directors are insulated from at-will dismissal.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/04/protect-dr-fauci/609220/

Yeah but do you really have the hiring and firing power? No? Well Trump doesn’t either. And if you were to do a ven diagram of people who are anti-vaxxers and people who are Trump supporters, well, you’d get a pretty good cross section. As I said, don’t listen to the people who are claiming to Fire Fauci. And quite frankly, don’t listen to Dr. Trump either. This is just what Dr. Trump ordered.

Several dozen people, including anti-vaccine advocates, gathered outside the Capitol building on Saturday in Austin, Texas to protest their state's lockdown policy as the coronavirus continues its spread across the country.

Austin's "You Can't Close America" protest, which featured many signs supportive of President Donald Trump, attracted so-called anti-vaxxers, who propagate disproven conspiracy theories about the alleged dangers of vaccines.

One such protester, who attended the rally with her 7-year-old daughter, told The New York Times she's "not worried about catching the virus" and added that if she or her family did, "I feel that we're healthy enough to fight it."

She held a sign reading, "Make Texas great again! Please open everything!" and her daughter held one reading, "Bill Gates can keep his poison — I'm homeschooled! No mandatory vaccines!!"
https://www.businessinsider.com/photos-texas-lockdown-protesters-anti-vaxxers-chant-fire-fauci-2020-4

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Vaccine
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

It’s been 2 months since the coronavirus exploded into a global pandemic. Now the question that’s on everyone’s minds is what is it going to take to cure this thing so we can all get back to our lives the way they were before the pandemic? It’s going to take a global effort to end a global pandemic and that is for absolute certain. But what can happen between now and the time the vaccine is developed? There are currently 78 vaccine projects around the world beginning trials in various phases, with another 37 in development. Not to mention over 100 drugs designed to treat the dreaded coronavirus. But how would such a vaccine work? And what are the ramifications of getting one out in such a short length of time before we have enough time to find out how the world would react to it? Well here’s how it works.

When a new H1N1 influenza virus, known as swine flu, caused a pandemic in 2009, “there was an alarm bell because this was a brand-new H1N1,” Cowling says, and it was very similar to the 1918 killer. Swine flu proved less severe than feared. In part, Krammer says, “we were lucky because the pathogenicity of the virus wasn’t very high.” But another important reason was that six months after the virus appeared, scientists developed a vaccine for it.

Unlike measles or smallpox vaccines, which can confer long-term immunity, flu vaccines offer only a few years of protection. Influenza viruses are slippery, mutating rapidly to escape immunity. As a result, the vaccines must be updated every year and given regularly. But during a pandemic, even a short-term vaccine is a boon. The 2009 vaccine helped to temper a second wave of cases in the winter. As a result, the virus much more rapidly went the way of the 1918 virus, becoming a widely circulating seasonal flu, from which many people are now protected either by flu shots or by antibodies from a previous infection.

Projections about how COVID-19 will play out are speculative, but the end game will most likely involve a mix of everything that checked past pandemics: Continued social-control measures to buy time, new antiviral medications to ease symptoms, and a vaccine. The exact formula—how long control measures such as social distancing must stay in place, for instance—depends in large part on how strictly people obey restrictions and how effectively governments respond. For example, containment measures that worked for COVID-19 in places such as Hong Kong and South Korea came far too late in Europe and the U.S. “The question of how the pandemic plays out is at least 50 percent social and political,” Cobey says.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-covid-19-pandemic-could-end1/

Unfortunately we wont be in the endgame for quite some time. As some have stated we are in the end of the beginning of this trial, there’s still the middle and end of this thing that we have to fight. However, one vaccine in particular is gaining a lot of traction and global attention. That vaccine is being developed at the University Of Oxford in England.

Six monkeys given a vaccine developed by the University of Oxford are said to be coronavirus-free 28 days after sustained exposure to the virus.

The result is a promising early sign for the vaccine, which is also undergoing human trials. A working human version, however, remains months away even in the best-case scenario.

The monkey experiment was carried out in late March by government scientists at the Rocky Mountain Laboratory in Hamilton, Montana, The New York Times reported Monday.

Six rhesus macaques received a vaccine produced by the Jenner Institute and the Oxford Vaccine Group. They were then exposed to heavy levels of the coronavirus that were known to have previously sickened other monkeys. These monkeys suffered no ill effects, however, and remained healthy at least 28 days later, The Times said.
https://www.businessinsider.com/monkeys-given-new-oxford-vaccine-coronavirus-free-strong-exposure-encouraging-2020-4

Ah if only we could be as lucky as Mr. Burns! But sadly we are not until we find the vaccine for Coronavirus. So while we had the space race in the 60s and the Cold War in the 80s, the 20s have become a war to find a vaccine for a killer virus that is having some severe consequences on how humanity operates. So how does the vaccine work? There’s a whole variety of different vaccines in production but it will take just one that works.

Moderna Inc. MRNA, +1.43% said late Monday its candidate for a coronavirus vaccine will get to be evaluated further. The biotech company said it has submitted a new-drug application with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to evaluate the vaccine candidate, mRNA-1273, in a more extensive study if supported by safety data from an initial study. The phase 2 study is expected to begin in the second quarter, Moderna said. That will evaluate the safety and any adverse reactions and immune responses of two mRNA-1273 vaccinations given 28 days apart, the company said. Each person participating in the study will be assigned to receive a placebo or different doses of the vaccine candidate, Moderna said. The plan is to enroll 600 healthy adults and older adults in two cohorts, Participants will be followed through 12 months after the second vaccination, Moderna said. "Submitting this (investigative new-drug application) is an important next step in the clinical development of our mRNA vaccine against SARS-CoV-2, and we are moving rapidly to potentially address this global health emergency," Moderna's Chief Medical Officer Tal Zaks said in a statement. A third phase could begin in the fall of 2020, the company said. Moderna is one ofnearly two dozen U.S. companies working on a vaccine against COVID-19 as the disease has killed more than 200,000 worldwide.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/modernas-coronavirus-vaccine-candidate-advances-to-next-stage-of-testing-2020-04-27

So while Oxford is leading the charge overseas, companies like Moderna and Johnson and Johnson are leading the charge at home in the USA. But while the news is currently grim, there is a lot of hope for those stemming for a vaccine before the end of the year. The Oxford vaccine continues to be the most promising as it has been developed by people who have experience in this sort of thing. But what does the future hold for this? Only time will tell.

A group of scientists at Oxford University have already begun clinical trials for a coronavirus vaccine, which could be ready by the fall.

Around 1,1000 people so far, who are between the ages of 18 and 55 and have not tested positive for COVID-19, have been enrolled in the trial, which began on April 23.

The study “aims to assess whether healthy people can be protected from COVID-19 with this new vaccine called ChAdOx1 nCoV-19,” according to a press release. The vaccination is made from a “weakened version of a common cold virus,” which affects chimpanzees but “has been genetically changed so that it is impossible for it to grow in humans.”

Researchers hope that after being given the vaccine, the body will be able to “recognize and develop an immune response” to the virus, which will help prevent infection.

So far, vaccines made from the weakened virus “have been given to more than 320 people…and have been shown to be safe” with minimal side effects.
https://people.com/health/oxford-scientists-started-human-trials-coronavirus-vaccine/

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s no secret that our brothers and sisters on the right are preferring the politics and policies of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, even if it is online only for the time being! But they seem to be turning this war against the PLAGUE into a holy war! Because why not? What’s a war without some good old fashioned fire and brimstone religion injected into it? Even if the war we are fighting is against an invisible enemy? Well certain groups are going all out in their propaganda machines! Because then you hear crazy shit like this:

Religious-right supporters of President Donald Trump have been adding their voices to the right-wing protests calling on governors to “reopen” states by easing restrictions on businesses and public gatherings, while deflecting responsibility for the spread of the virus and the economic consequences away from Trump. Christian nationalist political operative David Lane joined the fray in over the weekend in a column for Charisma decrying “unelected government bureaucrats, selected ‘experts,’ doomsday soothsayers, computer models and a frenzied media” for what he characterized as “overreach” in response to the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Lane devoted much of his column to reprinting something written April 18 by Steve Riggle, a Houston, Texas-based pastor. Unlike many of the right-wing protests, which initially targeted Democratic governors, Riggle had harsh words for the very conservative governor of Texas, Greg Abbott:

Liberate Texas now. Time to reopen Texas. We have been patient, even though every projection of the impact of the coronavirus has been grossly wrong. We were told to flatten the curve because there was no cure, even though a very small number actually die from the virus in comparison with the population and other diseases and causes of death we live with on a daily basis. Now, over 22,000,000 people have lost their jobs in one month … and there is more economic fallout to follow [for example, 43% can’t afford to go more than one month without a paycheck, and 24% have less than $250 in their bank accounts preceding payday.] In our county, in the same time period, we had five coronavirus-related deaths and 15 suicides.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/christian-nationalist-david-lane-portrays-reopen-calls-as-righteous-resistance/

That is correct, these people need JAYSUS! And leave it to the religious right to ruin this for everyone, much like they’ve ruined pretty much everything since the dawn of time. But do we really need the uber right wing religious groups to be in charge of this pandemic? Of course the Dark One would listen to these people, never mind things like facts and science. But if we let these people get the best of us, these are the kinds of policies we will get to fight this thing.

The American Family Association, like Liberty Counsel and other religious-right groups, is portraying the enforcement of social distancing requirements as a threat to religious liberty. “Don’t let the coronavirus turn America into China,” blared an AFA press release distributed Friday. AFA called it “extremely troubling” that some state and local officials have imposed restrictions on public gatherings “that trample religious liberty underfoot.”

AFA sent an action alert to its members last week with a similar message. AFA recognizes that temporary, “evenly applied” public health restrictions “may be permissible,” but said it is “blatantly unconstitutional” for officials to prohibit churches from holding drive-in services “while allowing liquor stores, restaurants, and others to offer drive-in or curbside services.” State and local officials have taken differing approaches to drive-in worship gatherings.

AFA is encouraging activists to tell their governors, “Extraordinary state actions prohibiting the peaceful gathering of American citizens to exercise their religion violate the U.S. Constitution and are not permissible … I want to encourage you stand ready to defend the peaceful gathering of our state’s citizens should their right to do so be infringed upon by any government official or police.”

Some prominent religious-right figures initially resisted and defied social distancing requirements and restrictions on public gatherings, with pastors mocking congregants who stayed home out of fear of the virus, calling other pastors who complied with guidelines “losers,” and suggesting that people who didn’t show up at church and shake hands were “pansies.” But most churches seem to have decided to abide by state and local requirements, with many moving services online.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dont-let-the-coronavirus-turn-america-into-china-warns-american-family-association/

Of course it’s the secular progressive’s fault because we’re not embracing the LAWRD almighty! But that’s where my church comes in! And that brings in the question – who do you place the blame on this horrible atrocity for? Well now if you listened to E.W. Jackson, he places the blame for this squarely at China and there can be no debate on this one! Yeah really, this is why people are getting harassed right now, and well, Brother Jackson be shamed!!

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” radio program yesterday that anyone who doesn’t blame China for the COVID-19 pandemic should be investigated for treason.

Jackson was urging the lifting of social distancing guidelines and the “reopening” of America so those who are not in at-risk groups have “an opportunity to develop the antibodies [and] just let their bodies do what our bodies are designed by Almighty God to do, which is to resist illness, to resist disease.”

“You know what? God built in a vaccine for us,” Jackson said. “And we ought to be letting that take its work.”

Jackson then lashed out at Bill Gates, who recently said that efforts to blame the pandemic on China are “a distraction.”

“Let me be succinct and to the point,” Jackson said. “Anybody, after seeing the carnage this thing has wrought on our country and on the world, anybody who leaps to the defense of communist China should be investigated and perhaps charged and tried for treason. I know that may sound harsh, folks, but I’m serious.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/e-w-jackson-says-anyone-who-wont-blame-china-for-covid-19-should-be-investigated-for-treason/

So Brother Jackson is leading a holy crusade against China and you never want to see anyone use that phrase for anything, because it’s worked out so well in past history hasn’t it? But the venerable holy war against COVID and social distancing has been proving to be, well, as toxic as the virus itself. In fact, we do not need their endorsement of the unholy Dark One as proof of this! I cannot allow it, good sirs and madams!!

James Goll, a self-proclaimed prophet and intercessor, did a livestream Saturday with Christian broadcaster Sid Roth, during which he claimed that he had been told by the Holy Spirit that President Donald Trump will win reelection and become “a great praying president” during his second term in office, usherin in the next Great Awakening.

“I believe it is the will of the Lord for President Trump to be reelected for a long-term reason if Jesus tarries any at all,” Goll proclaimed. “It is to turn this nation for lineage and legacy unto—this was the exact phrase the Holy Spirit gave me—to true constitutional conservatism. So I believe it’s God’s will for him to be reelected.”

Goll said that when he was visiting the Roland Reagan Presidential Library in 2019, the Holy Spirit spoke to him about Trump and what his reelection will mean for America’s future.

“He spoke something to me about later, in the middle of a second term,” Goll said. “He will become, Lord willing, in the middle of the second term, he will—there will be such an apprehension of God in his life that he won’t only have gone in by praying, he will be a great praying president who God will move on his heart, and he will be a part of welcoming in the Great Awakening.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/james-goll-prophesies-trump-will-become-a-great-praying-president-in-his-second-term/

You know there will be a Great Awakening when this is all over, but it will hopefully be without your people ruining it! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Your Favorite Celebrity Is Over
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Can you really be over your favorite celebrity? Well there’s plenty of reasons why you should, and also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. What makes this even weirder is that these celebrities who are “over” are being cherry picked and for ridiculously crazy reasons. But what you might not know is that the forces that are driving these social media trends aren’t. Like all bad things, this trend got hijacked by bots pushing Korean pop videos and trying to downplay American culture. But what you might not know is where this originated from. This entire thing started when Nicki Minaj decided to ditch her record label and hold an “Atlantic Records Is Over” party.

They really didn't have to snap this hard - or did they?

Fans of Nicki Minaj put Atlantic Records on blast over the weekend when they accused the music giant of misconduct against their artists - again. While the origins of Saturday's resurfaced shambles are still questionable, it was definitely the Barbz that made #AtlanticRecordsOverParty the number-one trending topic in the entertainment category.

Atlantic, a subsidiary of Warner, planted its deep roots in jazz almost over 70 years ago with the likes of Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and Otis Redding - so, this might be THE longest trail we've ever been down, it's absolutely littered with similar allegations.

We can't find any other outlets covering Minaj's indirectly-direct relationship to this newest edition of #AtlanticRecordsIsOverParty (or even the topic in general). What we did find was a bit of the backstory.

It's still a little funny to see Minaj's name credited with that of Cardi B's in the same song title. After their 2017 collab with MotorSport, Cardi told a UK press outlet that Minaj's original verse was "not the verse that is out there right now." Hearing this, Minaj called Cardi out for not telling the whole story.
https://theblast.com/126308/nicki-minaj-fans-host-atlantic-records-is-over-party-as-allegati

God can you imagine what would happen if Nicki Minaj and Cardi B got together in the same room? I can imagine there will be lots of yelling and bling comparisons, followed by which tiny purse dog is better than the other one. Now you would think this hashtag would end there. But oh no, just like a certain virus, it spread. And it spread to a whole bunch of different celebrities. Like Demi Lovato for instance!

It seems like there have been multiple attempts to "cancel" Demi Lovato, and the latest "Demi Lovato is Over Party" broke out over recent comments the singer made regarding Selena Gomez on a private Instagram account.

Previously, Demi was "canceled" by everyone on the internet for orchestrating the sexual assault of one of her private bodyguards as a "joke" by sending an escort to his room to engage in some funny business.

People didn't find the humor in Demi's "gag" and began calling her out for not only mistreating an employee but "trivializing rape" by merely calling it the "meanest prank" she ever pulled.

There's tons of other instances where people were ready to "pull the plug" on supporting Demi forever. But you know how the world of Twitter outrage works, at the end of the day.

For the most part, people latch on to something they're pretending to be furious about for a few hours, get said topic trending, then once that fizzles out, they jump onto the next issue to be upset about. The satisfaction seems to come from tweeting about how upset you are, rather than, you know, actually doing anything about it in real life, for the most part.
https://www.distractify.com/p/demi-lovato-is-over-party

Yeah so chalk this up to a dose of fake outrage and people who clearly don’t get the idea of what they are talking about. Now that’s the female side of this equation. What about the male side of this equation – let’s look at Adam Driver, the star of the recent string of Star Wars films. Is he over? Oh you had better believe that he’s over!

While social media has mostly been smitten with Kylo Ren actor Adam Driver for his appearances in Star Wars, Marriage Story, and his stints on Saturday Night Live, some people turned against the Hollywood star because of his military service with the United States Marine Corps. A Twitter hashtag claimed #AdamDriverIsOver because some users disagreed with his reasons for serving in the military, but it didn't take long for fans to come to the actor's defense.

All of it stems from Driver's decision to join the Marines and people taking seemingly out of context quotes and reading way too deep into offhand information to distill a person's entire life story down to one decision, and of course fans getting entirely too worked up over what other people are saying about their favorite celebrity.

It all comes out because Drive ended up joining the United States Marine Corps shortly after the September 11th attacks in 2001, serving nearly three years in the Marines before being medically discharged due to a dislocated sternum. After his time in the Marines, Driver got into the Julliard School and...well, the rest is history. An iconic run on Star Wars later and now he's one of the most sought-after actors in all of Hollywood.
https://comicbook.com/starwars/news/star-wars-adam-driver-is-over-party-twitter-trending/#4

Really? You’re mad that Adam Driver joined the Marines in his early life? No wonder that guy looks like he could kill you more ways than John Wick. Or how about another unlikely celebrity to get tangled up in all of this mess – Brendan Urie? You know him as the lead singer and performer of Panic! At The Disco, but did you know that he made some transphobic remarks in the early days of PATD? Well, neither did we! And he’s famous for playing a drag performer in “Kinky Boots”!

In the thread, @dinasapphic posted a video from a past concert in which Brendon states: "I wish I was born black so I could wear the clothes I wear without getting made fun of." He then states that black people are able to wear whatever they want but white people aren't.

There is also a video in the thread in which Brendon says to a crowd that he wants to "fuck them whether they want him to or not", comments in which he compares Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans to Rachel Dolezal claiming she's black and a snippet from an old interview in which he uses a transphobic slur.

Given that many of these comments were made years ago, Panic! fans have rushed to defend Brendon and argue that he's changed and these remarks no longer represent him. In the case of the transphobic slur, Brendon apologised for it in his Twitch livestream. He said: "I am so deeply sorry. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised how hurtful that word is."

A Panic! fan tweeted: "brendon urie is trending for shit he’s done years ago again. i’m not gonna get in on it much but it’s obvious he has changed and he has apologized for all the stuff he’s said in the past. ffs just fucking drop it and move on. focus on the present, not the past. #weloveyoubrendon" [sic].
https://www.popbuzz.com/music/artists/panic-at-the-disco/news/brendon-urie-is-over-party-transphobic-racist/

[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Brian Kemp
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Georgia governor Brian Kemp. You might remember that we previously covered his battle between him and Stacy Abrams following the 2018 governor elections. But now he’s being added to the list as being the governor of the state who’s reopening the earliest amid the crisis and it’s shaping up to be quite the disaster. But now apparently he’s going against the president and let’s face it, Trump is not the kind of guy who you want to screw with, because it will end very badly for you. So in an era where Trump has simply given up leading the country, he’s literally left it to states to fend for themselves in this pandemic. Well let’s see how that is going.

President Donald Trump's surprisingly public rebuke of Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp's reopening plans is still reverberating through state capitals across the country and is contributing to decisions by some governors to take a slower approach in opening businesses in their state, Republican officials in a half-dozen states told CNN.

"No governor wants to endure the same wrath as Brian Kemp," a top adviser to a Republican governor said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to avoid drawing similar ire from the White House.
"We all watched that very carefully and no one wants to be called out like that by the President," another aide to a Republican governor said.

The President's conflicting guidance -- initially calling to "liberate" states, but then sharply criticizing Kemp for opening some businesses on Friday -- has led to an often confusing, messy patchwork of state-by-state rules.

The reopening of some Georgia businesses, which started including restaurants on Monday, was at odds with White House Task Force guidance for states to first have a 14-day decline in coronavirus cases. After initially signaling his support for Kemp, Trump criticized the move after his medical advisers voiced strong concern.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/27/politics/trump-kemp-georgia-governors-reopen/index.html

That’s how they say it down there – y’all suck! And yes, this is one of the biggest circular firing squads out there, and Trump is a guy who you do not want to engage in that kind of behavior with. But when you live in a country run by a president who simply doesn’t care, where are you left to turn? Either you go on your own, or you shut up. And well, neither option is particularly good right now.

President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence repeatedly told Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp that they approved of his aggressive plan to allow businesses to reopen, just a day before Trump pulled an about-face and publicly bashed the plan, according to two administration officials.

The green light from Pence and Trump came in separate private conversations with the Republican governor both before Kemp announced his plan to ease coronavirus restrictions and after it was unveiled on Monday, the officials said. Trump’s sudden shift came only after top health advisers reviewed the plan more closely and persuaded the president that Kemp was risking further spread of the virus by moving too quickly.

“I told the governor of Georgia Brian Kemp that I disagree strongly with his decision to open certain facilities,” Trump said Wednesday, just a day after telling reporters that he trusted Kemp’s judgment. “He knows what’s he’s doing.”

On Thursday, he was even harder on the governor: “I wasn’t happy with Brian Kemp, I wasn’t at all happy.”
https://time.com/5827411/trump-georgia-brian-kemp-coronavirus-lockdown/

Now how does this whole thing affect business owners? Well there’s plenty of ways that this could have an affect on the places you go. Do you really want to get a haircut or eat out at a restaurant or go to a bowling alley in this time when this virus lingers? And really the other question is – are there enough bowling alleys in Georgia for them to warrant essential business status?

Hair stylists at Salon Gloss in Woodstock, Georgia, wore masks and gloves on Friday, maintaining distance by using every other work station and keeping a supply of hand sanitizer nearby. Their customers also donned masks and gloves, while another employee disinfected a countertop.

Similar scenes played out across the state Friday, the first day Republican Gov. Brian Kemp allowed gyms, barber shops, hair salons, tattoo parlors and bowling alleys to reopen their doors, just a few weeks after he issued a stay-at-home order to slow the spread of the coronavirus.
But other businesses remained closed, like Sabrina Watkins' salon in College Park, an Atlanta suburb. She won't return to work until she feels safe, she said, even though customers called asking if they could get their hair done Friday.

"I said, 'No, absolutely not. Get your hair done for what?'" Watkins said. "There's a pandemic, people are dying. As much as I love the business, now is not the time, regardless of who says it is."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/24/us/georgia-coronavirus-reopening-businesses-friday/index.html

Yes, you do suck. So in this unprecedented crisis that is affecting every person on the planet, we don’t have a leader at the national level. We might not even have leaders at the state level. But with a population eager to get back to work and return things to the level that they were before the virus, maybe we turn to the business leaders? They seem to be leading where our governors fail.

Unfazed by mounting criticism from mayors in his state and President Trump, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp forged ahead with his decision to allow businesses across the state to reopen Friday, as the confirmed coronavirus death toll in the United States passes 50,000 people.

Kemp, a Republican serving in his first term, was one of the last governors to impose a stay-at-home order for his state, which took effect on April 3.

Citing "favorable data, enhanced testing and approval of our health care professionals," Kemp said Monday that some businesses once deemed nonessential, like fitness centers, tattoo parlors and nail salons, can welcome back customers starting Friday.

In a tweet on Friday, the president reiterated his most recent stance that it was too soon for Georgia to reopen.

"I (or @VP) never gave Governor Brian Kemp an OK on those few businesses outside of the Guidelines. FAKE NEWS!," he said, despite praising the governor earlier this week. "Spas, beauty salons, tattoo parlors, & barber shops should take a little slower path, but I told the Governor to do what is right for the great people of Georgia (& USA)!"
https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/24/844217371/georgia-businesses-start-to-reopen-as-trump-distances-himself-from-states-govern

So reopening against reopening provisions, and getting on Trump’s bad side. That’s Georgia governor Brian Kemp – yet another in the ever-growing list of:

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

Of course you know by now the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and while we’re drinking, we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And well, in the days of the Great Pandemic, that kind of news is in short supply right now. Look, I get it, we’re bored, there’s absolutely nothing to do because of COVID-19. And I’m stuck here at home with no bar, no bartender, and no wait staff. But I did swipe the copious amounts of booze we have on hand before we went into the Great Lockdown. Let me consult my virtual bartender for advice on what to drink. Tell me, o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about a stolen painting? A unicorn cocktail? Eh, no thanks, I will stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Anyway in the early days of the lockdown in Belgium, this happened.

THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — A Dutch museum says that a painting by Vincent van Gogh was stolen in a raid overnight.

The Singer Laren museum east of Amsterdam says “Spring Garden” by the Dutch master was stolen in the early hours of Monday.

Police are investigating a break-in at a Dutch art museum that is currently closed because of restrictions aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus, the museum and police said Monday.

It wasn’t immediately clear whether any other paintings or other artworks were stolen in the heist. The museum did not release any details. It scheduled a news conference for Monday afternoon.

Before the closure, the museum was hosting an exhibition titled “Mirror of the Soul” with works by artists ranging from Toorop to Mondrian, in cooperation with Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2020/03/30/vincent-van-gogh-painting-stolen-dutch-museum-closed-covid-19/5086315002/

Now this raises many questions, and the biggest one I have is – where the hell does one acquire a sledgehammer in Belgium? I’ve been to Belgium, they don’t exactly have giant home improvement stores like Le Home Depot here. So how does one not only acquire a sledgehammer but use it on an art museum that was supposed to be closed because of the pandemic?

CCTV footage has captured the moment an art thief smashed his way inside a museum to steal a Vincent van Gogh painting while it was shut due to coronavirus lockdown measures.

A Dutch crime programme first aired the security camera footage showing how the man shattered the reinforced glass doors at a small museum just outside of Amsterdam.

The robber could be seen hurrying out through the museum gift shop with Van Gogh’s The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring (1884) – said to have an estimated value of around £5m – tucked under his right arm.

Police hope that publicising the footage will help them track down whoever stole from the work from the Singer Laren museum on 30 March.

“I am shocked and unbelievably p***** off,” said museum director Jan Rudolph de Lorm. “It is horrible for all of us, because art is there to be seen and shared by all of us, for society as a whole, to bring enjoyment, to bring inspiration, and also to bring comfort.”
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/van-gogh-painting-stolen-coronavirus-lockdown-sledgehammer-cctv-dutch-museum-a9480391.html

Well yeah obviously. We’ll get the painting back, dude. Just chill out and have a drink with us. Now, the nice thing is that borders are closed and air travel is currently prohibited in most countries, so he can’t go very far! So how do we go about catching one of the ballsiest thieves in recent memory? Well we got video surveillance and there aren’t a whole lot of places we can go. Just need to pinpoint maniacs with a sledgehammer, and that’s some fine sleuthing!

All it took was a few sturdy swings with a sledgehammer and a prized painting by Vincent van Gogh was gone.

A Dutch crime-busting television show has aired security camera footage showing how an art thief smashed his way through reinforced glass doors at a museum in the early hours of March 30. He later hurried out through the museum gift shop with a Vincent van Gogh painting tucked under his right arm and the sledgehammer in his left hand.

Police hope that publicizing the images will help them track down the thief who stole Van Gogh’s “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884” from the Singer Laren Museum while it was shut down due to coronavirus containment measures.

Nobody has been arrested in the theft and the painting, which was on loan from another Dutch museum, the Groninger Museum, when it was stolen, is still missing.

Police withheld other footage from inside the museum in Laren, a town east of Amsterdam, to protect their investigation. They also did not air video from outside the museum of the thief leaving.
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/world/2020/04/22/netherlands-stolen-van-gogh-sledgehammer/111583502/

Yeah so let that be a lesson to would-be art thieves out there. If you’re thinking of planning a heist during the Great Quarantine, then well, you’ve got another thing coming! But that should also double as a lesson for art museums out there – during the time of the Great Quarantine, you’ve got to figure out a way to keep your paintings and sculptures locked the fuck up, because if a guy can get into a museum that easily, what message does that send thieves everywhere?

Sixty hours ago, Van Gogh’s oil The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring was stolen from the Singer Laren museum in the Netherlands. I am certain that it was not what Van Gogh would have wished for his birthday; Monday was the 167th anniversary of his birth.

It also happened to be the birthday of Chris Marinello of Art Recovery International, perhaps the world’s foremost art theft expert. I called him and asked if he thought that the date of the theft was intentional. His response? “I don’t think that they were intelligent enough to know it. I’m not going to give them that much credit.” According to Marinello, others have conjectured that gangs or the underworld were involved, but he is unconvinced. “It was not done by professionals at all; it was not that sophisticated a theft.”

You will note that he uses the plural to describe whoever committed it. On the basis of the evidence thus far, Marinello feels that it may well have been two thieves. One performed the smash and grab, and the other waited outside on a motorcycle, or perhaps a bicycle, since it is The Netherlands, after all. (I cannot wait to see that CCTV footage.) There is, though, the chance that more criminals were involved.

Marinello explains that it was just a matter of timing. The one who smashed the front glass door rushed to the painting, removed it from the wall, and simply left before the police arrived. (More precisely, to quote a poor machine translation of an original Dutch report, the police arrived, “but the birds had already started flying.”) According to Marinello, “They simply took advantage of the pandemic lock down and the fact that officers are not responding as quickly as they normally do. The alarms are ringing and color cameras rolling, but they still can’t get to the museums immediately.” In fact, he confides that he is working on eight cases right now, all of which involve the slow response of law enforcement/government officials. “I’m concerned for all museums right now”, he ominously intones.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/bardenprisant/2020/04/01/in-wake-of-van-gogh-theft-expert-says-im-concerned-for-all-museums-right-now/#6d776e8c4886

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
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Well folks our experiment for Round 2 Week 1 was a rousing success and we will keep doing this all the way through the Final Four and the championship! We will at least have one champion to crown this year, am I right? If you missed it last week, Florida routed New Mexico to reach their second Final Four and they have become one of the favorites to win the whole thing. This week, it’s the Family Values Championship! We’re in Chicago at the United Center where last year’s champion and current conference favorite #1 Alabama take on red hot rivals in #4 Indiana. Let’s go to the floor where the two are waiting and willing to tangle!

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Alabama is no stranger to being at the top of the Family Values conference. Their stats are legendary and they have some serious street cred behind their brand. So what have they been up to lately? Well the multiple failed attempts to put former judge and alleged child molester Roy Moore back in the spotlight have failed spectacularly. Well for starters since the entire world has been turned upside down by coronavirus, there’s plenty of things happening that have been well, concerning. And for starters PRIDE events in June have been either postponed or canceled because of this thing and that includes events in Alabama.

Alabama’s oldest LGBTQ pride festival has been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Central Alabama Pride announced its decision to push back Birmingham’s Pride Fest and parade on its Facebook page Friday night. The events, which were originally planned for June 13 and 14, could be rescheduled for September or October. CAP officials will be getting feedback from other LGBTQ organizations as they discuss permanent dates during the next public meeting on Wednesday.

“We feel this was the best decision for the health and welfare of our community,” CAP officials stated on social media.

The 42-year-old organization held its first public pride festival in 1980. About 250 people attended the organization’s first parade in 1989. Now, thousands of people across the southeast come to Birmingham in rainbow-themed attire during the annual events in June.

Gov. Kay Ivey’s statewide stay-at-home order from April 3 only shut down non-essential businesses and activities. The order is expected to be lifted on April 30, but CAP Vice President Justin McGuire said it’s hard to measure how long social-distancing rules, as well as the economic impacts of outbreak, will last.
https://www.al.com/news/2020/04/covid-19-outbreak-postpones-alabamas-oldest-lgbtq-pride-festival-parade.html

Unfortunately that wont be happening in Alabama this year. But Alabama’s family values have taken quite a sharp turn since the pandemic began. But what will be happening is that Alabama’s churches will still be operating as usual – thanks to Kay Ivey’s executive order. And guess what? If you think churches are immune from the virus, well, that whole congregation might be infected!

The Church of the Highlands continued its third day of hosting drive-through testing for COVID-19 and reached more than 1,000 total tests early Thursday morning.
***
The tests are being administered by the staff of Christ Health Center, a clinic founded by the Church of the Highlands in Woodlawn in 2009, and will be processed by Assurance Scientific Laboratory in Birmingham, which provides the test kits.

The testing is being done in tents on the parking lot at the main campus of the church on Grants Mill Road, just off Interstate 459. More than 100 volunteers and medical staff workers are coordinating the effort.
***
People are discouraged from coming if they don’t have clear symptoms or known exposure. Pre-screening will be done on site.

Drive-through testing patients are being billed through their health insurance. “Uninsured paid nothing," Schranz said. "If they had insurance they will be billed.”
***
more: https://www.al.com/coronavirus/2020/03/covid-19-testing-at-church-of-the-highlands-reaches-1000-mark-8-new-cases-detected-so-far.html

No, no, no demon birds here. Demon viruses, sure, and those must be gone if we are to get our society back to the way it was pre-pandemic. But there is one thing that can always be counted on – Roy Moore is always good for a laugh! So when you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em! And that’s exactly what Roy Moore has done. Never mind that he’s a garbage candidate who could never win a real GE, he’s… wait for it… suing against fake news!

Roy Moore is seeking more than $40 million in a lawsuit he filed Monday against a Washington magazine, three of its writers, its editors and owners over a series of what he describes as “fake news” attacks stemming from accusations he faced while a U.S. Senate candidate in 2017.

Moore, who is again running for the Senate, filed the lawsuit in federal court against the Washington Examiner publishing company and ownership and five employees.

It's the sixth lawsuit Moore has filed relating to the allegations that he made unwanted sexual and romantic advances to teen girls when he was in his 30s.

Moore has repeatedly denied all allegations.

In the latest lawsuit, Moore said writers for the Examiner acted with malice in writing stories about him and disregarded a demand for a retraction following the first story. The lawsuit includes two counts of defamation and one count of intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The lawsuit seeks $10 million for damages to Moore's reputation and emotional distress and more than $30 million in punitive damages. Melissa Isaak, who is representing Moore in other lawsuits, filed the suit.
https://www.al.com/news/2020/01/roy-moore-files-40-million-fake-news-lawsuit.html

[font size="4"]Indiana:[/font]

Indiana is always a Family Values favorite. They of course gave us their former governor and current Vice President, Mike Pence. A guy who cannot even have lunch in the same room with another woman who isn’t his wife, in such an absurdly creepy branch of religion. Well, while Indiana may be the home of fizzled-out presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, they are also the home of some old fashioned fire and brimstone religion. But churches are fighting back against stay-at-home orders!

This year Holy Week for many Christians comes at a time when they are legally barred from gathering inside their places of worship, and Indiana's governor is asking religious leaders not to go against the social distancing order because churches are not considered "essential."

A few conservative Christian leaders have criticized Governor Eric Holcomb for not labeling church services as essential, like some other states across the country have done. But Holcomb said during his press conference Monday that he isn't backing down from his decision.

"This disease does not care," Holcomb said. "This disease will prey on the vulnerable, this disease will prey on large gatherings. We have it within us to prevent that."

Gov. Holcomb's strong words come after a Church of Christ in Hammond received a citation over the weekend for holding a Palm Sunday service in violation of the state's stay-at-home order.
https://www.theindychannel.com/news/coronavirus/covid-19-local-government/gov-holcomb-says-church-gatherings-arent-essential-urges-pastors-to-find-easter-alternatives

Yeah probably. Let’s not forget that this is about Family Values. Which there are a lot of in the Hoosier State. As much as they love college basketball – which we can’t have right now – they also love them some churches. Which, unlike a lot of their worshippers, have really evolved with the times. Well, some of them have anyways!

A suburban Indianapolis church held services on Sunday for the first time in more than a month, taking care to ensure that worshippers adhered to social-distancing best practices and limiting attendance to conform to the governor's coronavirus guidance.

The iTOWN Church in Fishers held 40-minute services in which only 10 people were allowed to attend, including the pastor. They started on the hour, leaving 20 minutes in between for cleaning crews to sterilize the inside of the church before the next group of worshippers arrived, the Indianapolis Star reported.

Pastor David Sumrall said in a Facebook post Thursday that the church would resume services while adhering to Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb's executive order prohibiting gatherings of more than 10 people, adding that the church made its decision after consulting with “local government leaders and our lawyers.”

The services resumed on a day that the state passed two grim coronavirus milestones. In a news release, the state Department of Health said Sunday that 28 more people in Indiana had died of COVID-19, bringing the state's death toll to 813. It also said the number of confirmed cases in Indiana had climbed by 634, bringing the statewide total to 15,012.
https://local12.com/news/local/indiana-church-begins-offering-small-in-person-services-state-death-toll-to-813-cincinnati

Damn straight Rev! That’s how we are all feeling right now. But remember when Trump said that our quarantine nightmare would be over and that we’d have packed churches by Easter? Well pastors across Indiana held that same opinion as Trump and when they didn’t get their way, well, they of course went the predictable apeshit route you’d expect. At lest they have a governor who is more understandable than Kay Ivey.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Well we got a tie score here going into the last minute…. Indiana has the ball, they shoot, ooh they got denied! Now a rebound, also denied! 15 seconds left… Alabama has the ball, they shoot… and… IT’S GOOD!!! Alabama has stunned Indiana, they move on to face Florida in a rematch of last year! Sorry Hoosiers, better luck next year! Alabama – cut the net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 2 Week 3 and we’re live in San Jose at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! It’s the Batshit Conference championship - #1 Virginia takes on red hot #3 Idaho in a winner take all contest to advance to the Final Four!

See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

April 22, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Another week, another home show. We’re in it for the duration of this awful pandemic. When things get back up and running we will try to do some live shows from our new home at Flappers but without the new music for the time being. We hope to do some full shows in the near future, we will see how this awful virus pans out. And of course our plans for touring the world – which we hoped to do for season 9 – got squashed. So instead we will be starting out with some very small scale shows at our new home in Burbank. If travel restrictions get lifted in the near future, we will be going back out on the road and bringing you our full show complete with some new musical guests. OK that said do we have time for the thing? Well I want to say that we have a thing before we get into the meat of conservative idiocy. But now that even Oktoberfest, the mother of all beer festivals, is canceled for this year, we got nothing! One thing we do have a lot of though is misinformation about the virus, and I think that my favorite so far is coming from America’s televangelists who are insisting that they can cure the virus just by placing a hex on it. Sorry guys but it doesn’t work that way. Anyways, I cannot wait until things start returning to some sort of normalcy so we have things to talk about other than this god forsaken virus!!! Shit, even our logo for the rest of the season is going to be reflecting the virus apocalypse! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But even John Oliver’s segment is all about the virus:

The news is all bad, but we will try to keep it funny for you guys because we all could use a sense of humor right now. Because, the Wheel Of Corruption is back! Not the live wheel you know and love, because there’s no way that I could fit that thing in my house, but instead we have a virtual model that’s been setup until we can get back in the clubs! In the number one slot this week is Trump Vs The Governors (1). Gavin Newsom and Andrew Cuomo, among others, are proving to be the adults in the room, while Trump is proving to be the insufferable child who begs for toys. In the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). When do we reopen the economy after the COVID-19 shit show? Well Trump is throwing a daily temper tantrum on national TV and moving the goalposts back further and further. Taking the third slot is something called “Operation Grandslam” (3) and you may have noticed these protests against social distancing popping up in your state, but it gets crazier. And it’s a GOP sting operation at that! At slot #4 this week is Vince McMahon (4). Yes, even the head honcho and one of Trump’s BFFs is going through some rough times, as the XFL finally kicked the bucket, but he’s an economic advisor! In slot #5 this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, Trump is pushing the cure for COVID as hydroxychloroquine, but we will show you using examples from around the world, why this could be a really bad idea. At slot #6 this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and this week our pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed by the Christian right’s response to the unfolding tragedy, but it’s about what you would expect. In the seventh slot this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and this week Fox News is turning up their COVID death toll rhetoric, and if they get their way, a whole lot of us are gonna die! In the 8th slot this week, after he made a casual reference about the potentially low death toll of COVID, we profile Dr. Oz (8) on a new edition of “This Fucking Guy”. Taking the #9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb, because the virus hasn’t slowed down people being incredibly and predictably stupid! Finally this week we have the 2nd round of Stupidest State 2020! It’s a Gun Nut duel to the death as #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico in a battle to take the crown and head to the Final Four! Unfortunately no live music until we’re able to leave the house and get back to normal life. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Trump Vs The Governors
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Unfortunately there’s no tableside guacamole option because the CDC has temporarily suspended tableside preparation. Also, no t-shirt cannon either. And a much smaller wheel for the time being. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Coronavirus
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Chance
- Community Chest
- Greed
- Walls
- Intermission
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Bankrupt
- 10,000
- 5,000
- Drink
- Morally Bankrupt
- Holy Shit
- Top 10 Investigates
- Whammy
- Double Whammy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Stupidest State
- 15,000
- A Random Tweet
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy…stop! Oh hey it’s one of our patented clips without context!

Well I hear that a plague is one of the punishments. But that’s probably because we elected the most sinful guy in history! Spin it again! Donald Trump. And for this segment – we are going to talk about the one question that’s on everybody’s minds. When will this crisis end and we can resume normal life? It’s the question of the year, the decade, and maybe even the century. Because this crisis is unparalleled and unprecedented. We were totally unprepared for this economically and socially. But with signs of the virus retreating and some things getting back to normal, others may not. And what is going to happen ultimately with this whole thing? Well first let’s look to Las Vegas.

Standing in front of an empty storefront along Main Street, Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman was beaming with optimism, believing that businesses would make it through the coronavirus pandemic.

“We’re all together in this and we are going to come out with a bang,” she said earlier this month.

On Tuesday, it became apparent what the independent mayor may have had in mind. She said she wants to reopen casinos, assuming that 100 percent of the population are carriers of the novel coronavirus.

Let them, and visitors, gather and gamble, smoke in confined spaces, touch slot machines all day — and let the chips, and apparently the infections, fall where they may.

“Assume everybody is a carrier," the mayor said Tuesday on MSNBC. "And then you start from an even slate. And tell the people what to do. And let the businesses open and competition will destroy that business if, in fact, they become evident that they have disease, they’re closed down. It’s that simple.”

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/04/22/las-vegas-coronavirus-reopen/

Yeah it’s not quite time to let the dogs out yet though, and I don’t think they thought this plan through very well. That’s just one example of this. Let’s go to Georgia where Brian Kemp is proving to be one of the dumber heads in the room. As they said in Animal House, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to live a life, son.”. And really in this time of death and a killer virus roaming the landscape, are these the kinds of places you would want to patronize? Places like tattoo parlors and bowling alleys should probably be last on the list, IMO.

Georgia Republican Gov. Brian Kemp announced Monday that certain businesses can reopen this week in a move that breaks from the majority of state leaders and defies the warnings of many public health officials.

Kemp said specifically that fitness centers, bowling alleys, body art studios, barbers, hair and nail salons, and massage therapy businesses can reopen as early Friday, April 24. Theaters and restaurants will be allowed to open on Monday, April 27, while bars and night clubs will remain closed for now.

The decision follows new guidance unveiled by President Donald Trump last week meant to help states loosen their social distancing restrictions.

According to an influential model often cited by the White House, from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, Georgia hit its projected "peak" for daily deaths 13 days ago, on April 7.

But that same model predicts that dozens of people will die each day in the coming week. And to limit a resurgence of the virus, the model says that Georgia shouldn't start relaxing social distancing until after June 15 -- when the state can begin considering other measures to contain the virus, such as contact tracing and isolation.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/20/politics/georgia-brian-kemp-reopen-businesses-coronavirus/index.html

Man, the Dude and Walter must be having it rough right now. But they’re not the only ones. Let’s look at my home state of California where Gavin Newsom really is proving to be one of the cooler heads in the room and one of the adults taking this thing seriously. The thing is, Trump is betting that we’re going to just dive into this thing head first and expect that things will return to normal right now. But it’s not, we’re going to be in the shallow end of the pool for quite a while.

It's the question we're all asking: When will California reopen?

California Governor Gavin Newsom promised to outline some of the possible timeline for reopening on Wednesday, however the state continues to take a slow and gradual approach.

It's a contrast to some other states, which under public pressure, are already beginning to ease their shelter-in place-orders -- even if experts and some political leaders caution against it.

In South Carolina, some department stores and retail stores reopened Tuesday with 20% capacity. Public beaches opened as well.

In Georgia, businesses such as gyms, barbershops and bowling alleys will be allowed to reopen on Friday. Some restaurants and theaters will be able to reopen next week.

In Colorado, also starting next week, residents will be recommended to stay home but not required to do so. And in Tennessee and Ohio, a majority of businesses will be allowed to reopen May 1st, if not sooner.
https://abc7news.com/coronavirus-california-when-will-reopen-schools-disneyland/6120470/

Yeah so we’re treading waters very carefully but Trump wants to dive in the deep end and get things back to normal. Because we all know where this is leading. You know the reason why Trump is so eager to reopen the economy despite warnings is that he wants to get back out on the road and hold his ridiculous MAGA rallies. There’s an election in November and he is lost without them. So sleep tight, because Trump is about to make things that much worse.

President Donald Trump is eager to hit the road.

As his own health officials continue to warn against nonessential travel, Trump has privately urged aides over the past week to start adding official events back to his schedule, including photo ops and site visits that would allow him to ditch Washington for a few hours. The day trips would be similar to those Vice President Mike Pence has made visiting businesses during the viral pandemic, according to three people familiar with the planning.

Speaking at a coronavirus task force briefing this week, Trump noted he hasn’t “left the White House in months,” except to send off the USNS Comfort from a Virginia naval base and visit the Federal Emergency Management Agency‘s headquarters in March. The president has otherwise stayed within the executive complex for six weeks, an extraordinary stretch of confinement for a president who — even while stuck in Washington — loves to golf and visit his businesses. Trump's last big trip outside the Beltway to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta ended with a three-day fundraising swing in Florida, during which he stayed at his Mar-a-Lago beach club and golfed at a nearby course he owns.

His itch to get away from Washington comes as his administration pressures governors to begin loosening restrictions on interstate travel, business operations and public gatherings — part of a three-phase plan the federal government released last week to reopen the U.S. economy after a near-total shutdown due to Covid-19. The road map has been criticized by some state officials who say they lack the testing capacity needed to safely reopen communities in accordance with the president’s timeline. Trump officials insist enough testing is already available to handle the first phase of reopening.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/22/trump-rally-coronavirus-200107

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Now entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet, I win 5,000 of something. Still don’t know what it is though. Use your imagination. Spin it again! Donald Trump. It’s no secret that we’re all going stir fucking crazy not being able to explore the world, see our friends and family, or even do everyday tasks like being able to go to the store or go to restaurants. And there’s no one going more stir crazy than our own president, Donald J. Trump. Which is why we’re subjected to him on pre-evening TV every day since the lockdowns began. But what is causing his bizarre behavior as of lately? Well a whole lot of things.

President Donald Trump accused Democrats on Monday of playing “a very dangerous political game” by insisting there is a shortage of tests for the coronavirus. But Democratic Kansas Gov. Laura Kelly, expressing the frustration of many state leaders, said the federal response has simply not been “good enough.”

Trump’s latest blast came even as Vice President Mike Pence assured governors the federal government is working around-the-clock to help them ramp up testing.

Pence sought to soften the Trump administration’s message amid growing clamor from governors of both parties for a national testing strategy to help secure in-demand supplies like testing swabs and chemical reagents. Trump said Sunday that he could use the Defense Production Act to compel one company to manufacture swabs.

“When it comes to testing, we’re here to help,” Pence told governors during a videoconference from the headquarters of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. The Associated Press obtained audio of the call.
https://www.local10.com/news/local/2020/04/20/watch-live-at-5-pm-trump-holds-daily-briefing-on-federal-response-to-coronavirus-pandemic/

Yeah no, you fucking moron, *YOU* are the one who is playing political games with the protection equipment that doctors and nurses so desperately need to get us through this thing. There’s already predictions of a second wave and it’s going to get worse. And why are we putting up with this? This isn’t presidential behavior, these are the ramblings of a psychotic mad man intent on killing a whole lot of us.

President Donald Trump said Wednesday he’s prepared to announce new guidelines allowing some states to quickly ease up on social distancing even as business leaders told him they need more coronavirus testing and personal protective equipment before people can safely go back to work.

The industry executives cautioned Trump that the return to normalcy will be anything but swift.

The new guidelines, expected to be announced Thursday, are aimed at clearing the way for an easing of restrictions in areas with low transmission of the coronavirus, while keeping them in place in harder-hit places. The ultimate decisions will remain with governors.

“We’ll be opening some states much sooner than others,” Trump said.

But in a round of calls with business leaders Wednesday, Trump was warned that a dramatic increasing in testing and wider availability of protective equipment will be necessary for the safe restoration of their operations.
https://www.wspa.com/news/watch-live-white-house-coronavirus-task-force-to-hold-daily-briefing/

These are crazy times but they do not call for a crazy leader. Unfortunately we’re stuck with him until November or they enact the 25th amendment. Whichever comes first. But here’s what is crazy is that he won’t shut the fuck up. And you ever notice how the people who say we shouldn’t politicize tragedies are the ones who are actively politicizing tragedies? Well, you might be right on that one.

The WHO responded Wednesday to President Donald Trump’s threat to cut its funding, saying the move would not be appropriate during the global coronavirus pandemic.

“We are still in the acute phase of a pandemic so now is not the time to cut back on funding,” Dr Hans Kluge, WHO regional director for Europe, told a virtual briefing, according to Reuters.

A day earlier, Trump threatened to withhold funding from the United Nations’ health agency, claiming it got “every aspect” of the coronavirus pandemic wrong.

“With regard to us, they’re taking a lot of heat because they didn’t want the borders closed, they called it wrong,” Trump said at his daily briefing. “They really called, I would say, every aspect of it wrong.”
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/08/who-responds-to-trumps-threat-to-cut-funding.html

And if you’re wondering, not only is Trump politicizing tragedies, he’s also shunning the experts in this bizarre attempt to stroke his ego and prove that he’s right on everything. Look, you can’t make the claim that you’re right on everything, no one can. And I predict that we’ll see the firing of our surgeon general before the end of next week, count on it.

The Trump administration took Surgeon General Jerome Adams off television last week after his controversial remarks on Covid-19's threat to minorities, silencing the White House's loudest voice on racial disparities even as concerns mount about risks to communities of color.

Adams made just one TV appearance last week, a steep decline from the 10-plus TV appearances he made the prior week on programs like ABC's "Good Morning America,” CBS’ “This Morning” and NBC’s “Today Show." The surgeon general received multiple requests for high-profile media appearances last week that the White House didn't accept, said two people with knowledge of some of those requests. Adams also hasn't made an appearance at a White House press briefing since April 10.

Adams' disappearance on the airwaves and at the White House podium followed comments at a press briefing on April 10 that progressives attacked as racially insensitive for shifting responsibility to minorities. But health officials also fear that minimizing Adams means the White House is retreating from questions about its work on behalf of minority communities, a perennially sensitive issue for President Donald Trump and his administration. Early data from Chicago showed that black communities represented about two-thirds of the city's Covid-19 deaths, despite representing about one-third of the population.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/20/surgeon-general-coronavirus-197508

[font size="8"]Infowars
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy… What? Bankrupt? NO!!!

Spin it again. Ah man, do I really have to talk about Infowars? Make me. But I don’t want to. OK my producer is telling me that I really need to talk about them. Fine. So folks you know that there’s protests propping up all over the country. But the question now is who’s behind them? Well, just check out the protests happening in Austin, Texas. Austin – one of our favorite places to visit. And it’s also the home of Alex Jones and Infowars. So on Saturday when the white male gun nut wannabe war lords were protesting the Texas state capital, guess who crashed the party?

The conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was pictured shaking hands with protesters at a Texas rally against social distancing measures on Saturday.

A video posted on Twitter yesterday showed the Infowars founder shaking hands with at least four people at the demonstration against measures designed to keep people safe amid the novel coronavirus pandemic.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an advisory in March that encouraged Americans to "stop handshaking" to prevent the spread of infectious disease amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, also said Americans should avoid shaking hands ever again to bring down both coronavirus and influenza cases.

In a YouTube video of Jones' appearance at the "You Can't Close America" rally in Austin, the conspiracy theorist said: "Texas, I salute you all. Texas is leading the way."
https://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-shakes-hands-protesters-texas-rally-stay-home-order-1498862

Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put a warning on that thing!!! Dear god. Look, guys, we get it. Nobody likes this, and show me one person on earth who does, and I will tell you that is a crazy person. Nobody likes to be isolated and quarantined. But this disease is a beast like nothing we’ve ever seen before. And until we know how this ends, we’re all in the same boat. But these protests are springing up all over the country.

In tandem with Donald Trump, Fox News hosts and other influential conservatives spent the weekend egging on a small number of mask-less protesters flouting social distancing guidelines by crowding state capitols and demanding that closure orders be lifted. These “Give me liberty and give me death!” rallies, as a Washington Post satire piece put it, represent the opinions of a decided minority: A Politico–Morning Consult poll released last week found that 81% of Americans support maintaining social distancing measures “for as long as is needed to curb the spread of coronavirus, even if it means continued damage to the economy,” while nearly 60% of respondents in a similar NBC–Wall Street Journal survey voiced concerns over the U.S. lifting mitigation efforts too soon. But perhaps out of wishful thinking, members of the right-wing media are nonetheless framing protests as the Tea Party movement reincarnated.

“A lot of people are very proud of you,” said Fox News host Jeanine Pirro during a Saturday night interview with Meshawn Maddock, an organizer behind the so-called “Operation Gridlock” protest in Lansing, Michigan. “Peaceful protests, civil liberties, it’s what we’re all about. Keep going.” The segment aired after Pirro’s colleagues had spent days praising the protests. Last week Tucker Carlson hosted Maddock and thanked the Michigan Conservative Coalition activist for her service. On Saturday morning Fox & Friends prominently displayed the locations of future rallies on a map of the country—exactly what the network did years prior to promote the anti-Obama Tea Party protests. An article published on Fox’s website took the effort a step further, embedding a tweet with contact information for those who wished to join the Wisconsin Freedom Rally. On Friday conservative talk radio giant Rush Limbaugh cheered on the protesters by citing historic examples of American bravery and sacrifice, including U.S. involvement “in World War II,” adding, “This shutdown, and hunkering down in total fear, is not a hallmark of American history.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/04/fox-news-turning-coronavirus-protests-into-tea-party

Can we stop paying attention to these morons please? For the last 15 years they have given us nothing but bad ideas. This is just another extension of the Fox News culture war, and it’s a war that nobody asked for, or wanted. Can we declare a cease fire now please? Otherwise this virus is going to kill a whole lot more of us if we don’t stop it. But yeah let’s tell these people to shut the fuck up.

The scene in front of the Pennsylvania statehouse Monday was anything but social distanced. Hundreds of protesters gathered on the steps of the Capitol building in Harrisburg as police barricades blocked people from advancing closer to the doors.

Cars circling the building added to the demonstration. One green rig with the words "Jesus is my vaccine" spray-painted above its front fender drove down 3rd Street, its horn blaring in support.
The protests went on in spite of -- or, more accurately, because of -- Pennsylvania's statewide stay-at-home orders designed to limit the spread of the coronavirus. The demonstrators called for a swift end to the government-imposed closures of regular business and for America to "open up." Similar events have taken place in state capitals across the country, including in Michigan, Texas, Maryland, and Washington state, with upcoming protests in additional states.

The organizers have an ally in President Donald Trump, who over the weekend defended the protesters as "good people" and called on citizens in multiple states with Democratic governors to "LIBERATE" their states. More broadly, the President has been talking publicly and privately about reopening the American economy for weeks. He released his administration's plan for doing so last Thursday and has since been frustrated by what he perceived as a negative response to the proposal from the media.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/20/politics/stay-at-home-protests-conservative-groups-support/index.html

Yeah they’re full blown crazy all right. But now that we know the extent of these protests, where are they coming from? And what is fueling this fire? I can guarantee that nobody is liking these lockdowns, we all had plans before the pandemic, and we will get back to those plans afterward. But for now let’s all act like we’re on the same page right? But first let’s pull take off the mask and find out who you really are. Mr. Weatherby??? And he would have got away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

Thousands of people in the United States took to the streets over the past week to demand the country's swift reopening.

While some protested from their vehicles, many others defied coronavirus social distancing guidelines as they rallied on state capitol grounds and in front of governors' homes in several states including Michigan, Kentucky, Washington, Minnesota, Virginia and Colorado.

The number of people protesting was relatively small compared with those who have abided by stay-at-home orders.

Those who protested said they were concerned that their constitutional rights and freedom were being curtailed in the fight to contain the pandemic. Many were also frustrated that they could not work or lost their jobs due to state lockdowns.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/04/anti-lockdown-protests-200420180415064.html

[font size="8"]The XFL
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… and it lands on… Coronavirus!

Uh… ma’am? This is a Baskin Robbins. Either order some Mint Chocolate Chip or get the hell out. Spin it again! Greed! Folks, it’s no mistake that the coronavirus has turned life upside down and inside out, and everything that we once took for granted is currently gone until we figure out how to deal with. Most notably the economy has just taken a tremendous beatdown. It’s a really tremendous beatdown, really tremendous. The best. Well, not really, bad Trump impersonation. Because one of the biggest blows was the demise of Vince McMahon’s XFL. We’ve made fun of the return of the XFL a lot on this program, but come on, we didn’t even get one season thanks to the Shithead Virus.

Former XFL commissioner Oliver Luck has sued owner Vince McMahon in federal court, citing wrongful termination after McMahon's decision to shutter the league.

According to the complaint, filed last week in U.S. District Court in Connecticut, Luck received a termination letter on April 9 -- a day before McMahon laid off most of the XFL staff and three days before the league filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Luck "wholly disputes and rejects the allegations set forth in the Termination Letter and contends they are pretextual and devoid of merit," per the complaint.

McMahon is chairman and CEO of the WWE and is the owner of Alpha Entertainment, which was the parent company of the XFL.

Much of the lawsuit is redacted, citing confidentiality clauses in Luck's contract. He was hired in May 2018 for a deal reportedly worth approximately $20 million over its lifespan. Luck was not listed among creditors in the XFL's bankruptcy filings, but the lawsuit alleges breach of contract.
https://www.espn.com/xfl/story/_/id/29077565/ex-xfl-commissioner-oliver-luck-sues-owner-vince-mcmahon-wrongful-termination

Now here’s where it gets weird. The WWE is still big business, and while the XFL was a great idea in theory, the low attendance and ratings were a factor, and it had yet to be determined whether or not it was a success. But then add in Coronavirus – which is killing whole economies as fast as it is killing people, and you have an utter disaster. But is it worth making Vince McMahon an economic advisor? Is it really?

President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he is putting together an advisory group that will work to reopen the country economically. Included in the large collection of advisors is an entire section dedicated to sports, which features commissioners of the country's four major sports leagues and some other notable sports executives. The group is reportedly scheduled to take part in a call on Wednesday to discuss the effort, according to Shams Charania of The Athletic.

The Great American Economic Revival Industry Group, as the White House is calling it, features 16 sports figures:

Three of the four major professional sports leagues in the United States -- MLB, the NHL and the NBA -- have suspended their seasons as a result of the rapid spread of the coronavirus. The NBA was the first to announce its suspension after center Rudy Gobert tested positive for the respiratory disease that has become a global pandemic. Each league has expressed different expectations for when they'll return.

The NFL, the country's fourth major professional sports league and the most popular among Americans, has only needed to adjust its plan for this year's draft, to this point, with it being done virtually. Golf majors have been postponed or canceled, and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics has been postponed until next year.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/donald-trump-tired-of-watching-old-games-adds-team-owners-dana-white-vince-mcmahon-to-advisory-group/

Yeah sadly we may never know what a rejuvenated XFL would look like. And is that really the guy who we want as an economic advisor? Look we’re all going stir crazy right now. Even TV sucks. There’s nothing worth watching right now. But it’s also not worth doing something stupid either. Until we know what this virus is going to do long term, we may have to live with it. We could be like Dana White and have fights on a private island to escape regulations.

UFC president Dana White insists UFC 249 won’t be a one-off return to action: The fight schedule will be in full swing again beginning April 18.

But where will these fights take place? According to White, the short-term will see events go down at the same still-undisclosed location as UFC 249 on April 18. After that, though, he claims the promotion will be setting up shop on a private island.

“I locked this venue (that will host UFC 249) for two months,” White told TMZ on Monday. “I have this venue for two months, and we’re setting up shop here. We’re going to be pumping out fights every week. I’m also a day or two away from securing a private island. I have a private island that I’ve secured. We’re getting the infrastructure put in now, so I’m going to start doing the international fights, too, with the international fighters.

“I’m not going to be able to get the international fighters, all of them into the U.S., so I have a private island. I’m going to start flying them all into the private island and start doing international fights from there. So as of April 18, the UFC is back up and running. … We have all our own planes and everything we’re going to fly into the island with the fighters.”
https://mmajunkie.usatoday.com/2020/04/dana-white-ufc-fights-coronavirus-private-island-ufc-249

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY Hydroxychloroquine
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Now entering the spin zone! And it lands on… wait for it… ah hey it’s time for a clip without context!

In that case then call me Satan! Because I want the damn vaccine, damn it! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

With the coronavirus upending our society and way of life as we currently know it, the idea of self-medication becomes ever more prevalent as doctors and hospitals are being repurposed to deal with this evolving and unprecedented crisis. One such medication being touted by President Trump is an old malaria drug called hydroxychloroquine and also the regular chloroquine. But the hype of this drug from the right wing media is illustrating why we need doctors to guide us through this pandemic and why we shouldn’t listen to hype men and product pitchmen. Because this is serious and taken in the wrong capacity, the cure really is worse than the disease.

A malaria drug widely touted by President Donald Trump for treating the new coronavirus showed no benefit in a large analysis of its use in U.S. veterans hospitals. There were more deaths among those given hydroxychloroquine versus standard care, researchers reported.

The nationwide study was not a rigorous experiment. But with 368 patients, it’s the largest look so far of hydroxychloroquine with or without the antibiotic azithromycin for COVID-19, which has killed more than 171,000 people as of Tuesday.

The study was posted on an online site for researchers and has not been reviewed by other scientists. Grants from the National Institutes of Health and the University of Virginia paid for the work.

Researchers analyzed medical records of 368 male veterans hospitalized with confirmed coronavirus infection at Veterans Health Administration medical centers who died or were discharged by April 11.

About 28% who were given hydroxychloroquine plus usual care died, versus 11% of those getting routine care alone. About 22% of those getting the drug plus azithromycin died too, but the difference between that group and usual care was not considered large enough to rule out other factors that could have affected survival.
https://apnews.com/a5077c7227b8eb8b0dc23423c0bbe2b2

So when people are getting desperate to find a cure and get back to the way things were before the virus you’re going to get desperate. And that’s what is happening right now. Yes, there might have been a few successes with hydroxychloroquine, but there’s been more failures and the drug has yet to be proven to work long term. Which is why even Trump himself has turned down the rhetoric.

President Donald Trump and his allies in conservative media have subtly scaled down their hyping of hydroxychloroquine as a potential cure for the coronavirus, according to a POLITICO review of White House briefings and cable news coverage.

Although Trump had repeatedly promoted the decades-old malaria drug since the early days of the disease’s outbreak in the United States, his public statements regarding hydroxychloroquine have diminished significantly over the past week for reasons that remain unclear.

His most recent mention of the drug at the White House’s daily coronavirus news conferences came last Tuesday, when the president announced his administration had deployed roughly 28 million doses of hydroxychloroquine from the federal government’s Strategic National Stockpile.

Earlier at that same briefing, though, the president also trumpeted remdesivir, another experimental treatment developed by the biopharmaceutical company Gilead, and spoke positively of its “promising results.”
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/20/trump-hydroxychloroquine-coronavirus-196191

Yeah you probably should there, doctor. In fact the idea of hyrdroxychloroquine has become big business, even if it is a lot of false hope. And false hope is not something we need right now. But what will make this worse is that repurposing this drug takes away from people who actually need it, like lupus patients for instance. Yes, they need this drug, and thanks to Trump, they cant find it.

When Aimee Blou heard the lupus drug she has relied on for more than a decade promoted as a coronavirus antidote, she visited her pharmacist.

The 40-year-old woman from Stockton, California, was told the decades-old antimalarial drug commonly prescribed for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis was in short supply. She would get only a 30-day refill, not her typical 90-day supply.

“It’s all backordered,” the pharmacist explained to Blou on March 23. “We are not going to be able to give you these (90-day) refills."

Hydroxychloroquine, also sold under the brand name Plaquenil, has been touted by President Donald Trump, media personality Mehmet Oz and others as a COVID-19 treatment, though scientific evidence the drug is effective against the virus is lacking.

The renewed interest in chloroquine, an antimalarial drug available since 1944, and the similar drug hydroxychloroquine has made it difficult for pharmacies and hospital chains to manage a limited supplies, leaving patients like Blou fearful the shortage will harm their health.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/04/18/hydroxychloroquine-coronavirus-creates-shortage-lupus-drug/5129896002/

In this case you probably should. Because this fight is going to get very ugly very quickly and this is a can of worms being opened up that you definitely shouldn’t open up. Let’s take it from someone who’s actually had the virus and actually used the drug to combat the virus. And their experiences were shall we say, less than ideal.

Tom Hanks is getting personal about the coronavirus battle that he and his wife Rita Wilson experienced.

The actor says although he didn't have symptoms as bad as Wilson, he felt "wiped" while in isolation at a hospital in Queensland, Australia, last month.

"I was wiped after 12 minutes [of exercising]. I laid down in my hospital bed and just slept," Hanks told National Defense Radio Show.

He recalled telling a medical professional who was treating him at the time, "'I just had the weirdest thing. I just tried to do basic stretches and exercises on the floor and I couldn't even get halfway through.' And she looked at me through her glasses like she was talking to the dumbest human being. And she said, 'You have Covid-19.'"

Hanks said that his wife had such bad nausea from the anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine, that at times she couldn't even walk.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/20/entertainment/tom-hanks-coronavirus-interview-trnd/index.html

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s give the wheel a spin, shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… CHANCE!

Damn. I did not pass go, guess I will have to collect my $200 later. Damn you Trump! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Guess what? We’re back! Yes, we are doing this service from an undisclosed location in an undisclosed state – you know which one I’m talking about – because apparently it’s OK for some things to be open! But remember the last time we congregated online, I told you that there was a pastor who was planning a Christian version of Woodstock? Well, there’s another event coming down the pike that aims to make this look like child’s play. And this one is going to take place in Washington, DC, the place of the unholy Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, and well, it’s a very bad idea. I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would not approve!

End Times author Jonathan Cahn is promoting “The Return,” a day of national repentance with events around the country and on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 26.

Cahn explicitly connects “The Return” to the 2020 presidential election, describing the date as 40 days before the presidential election and the 400th anniversary of the sailing of the Mayflower. (Cahn’s End Times books are filled with similar historical and biblical numerology.)

“This year—2020—is crucial, as it leads to a presidential election in which the stakes are higher and the necessity of prayer more critical than before,” Cahn says in a video promoting the event as a photograph of Trump appears on-screen. “And even if the election goes in the direction of biblical values and righteousness, if we don’t see a spiritual turning, an awakening, a repentance, revival, then all the political, legal, judicial, and cultural efforts will ultimately fail or be undone,” he warns.

“We have driven God out of our public life and have called what is good evil and what is sin good,” Cahn said in an Apr. 14 press release. “America’s fall from God is not only progressing—it’s accelerating—to the point that it is no longer just a falling away, but a war against the purposes of God.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/end-times-prophets-and-religious-right-leaders-promote-pre-election-rally-on-national-mall/

Ooh “The Return”! Such a Biblically prophetic name isn’t it? But that brings up a point – are the lockdowns defiance against the almighty GAWD? Well, yes and no. And when your friends are John Hagee and Paula White, who really needs enemies? I mean if you’ve got a couple of televangelist hucksters and a hard-on for Revelations end times prophecies, this is what you are going to get!

A group of prominent religious-right leaders were featured on a Daystar television special on the COVID-19 virus Wednesday night. The program, which was also streamed on Pastor Robert Jeffress’s Facebook page, mixed encouragement and prayer with lavish praise for President Donald Trump. In addition to Jeffress, speakers included White House adviser Paula White, conservative Hispanic leader Samuel Rodriguez, prominent Christian Zionist John Hagee, and evangelist Jentezen Franklin. The special was hosted by Marcus and Joni Lamb, founders of Daystar, a Dallas-based global Christian network.

“Today, we’re not here to promote the president or promote Republicans,” Marcus Lamb said near the beginning of the 90-minute broadcast, but praising Trump and promoting White House talking points on the administration’s handling of the pandemic was certainly part of the agenda. Lamb and other speakers frequently pointed to scriptural admonitions to pray for those in authority.

“Whether you like the president or voted for him or not, he needs prayer,” Marcus Lamb said, prompting Joni Lamb to jump in, saying, “We have to acknowledge as Christians that this president has done so much for the church and the body of Christ.”

“People are beginning to see the president, the man that I’ve known for all this time, and how deeply embedded faith is in him,” said White, who claims in her recent book that God gave her Trump as a spiritual assignment years ago.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/paula-white-john-hagee-praise-trump-slam-media-in-daystar-tv-covid-19-special/

Except it really isn’t, Reverend. Just bullshit. Yes, we are allowed to swear in my church, I make up the rules, damn it! But in our weird, socially distant world brought on by this god forsaken virus, we need to at least have some kind of structure, right? Well, leave it to the Liberty Counsel to open the churches, and we have a date! Yes, Sunday May 3rd is the date of the great reopening! And yes, we’re all fucked in case you can’t tell.

Religious-right legal group Liberty Counsel launched a campaign Monday “calling on the churches to open and believers to start meeting again on Sunday, May 3,” which Liberty Counsel is calling ReOpen Church Sunday. The announcement came as “reopen” protests organized by right-wing activists have targeted Democratic governors with calls to ease shutdown orders.

Liberty Counsel, known for anti-LGBTQ-equality activism, has recently defended Rodney Howard-Browne, a Tampa, Florida-based pastor who was arrested at the end of March for holding services that violated COVID-19-related restrictions on public gatherings. After his arrest, Howard-Browne took his services online and has continued to use them to spread conspiracy theories. Deaths of parishioners and pastors have been linked to church gatherings that defied social distancing guidelines.

In a press release distributed Monday, Liberty Counsel connected its “ReOpen” churches campaign to the Trump administration’s recently announced phases for states to begin lifting social distancing restrictions. Liberty Counsel says churches “should include appropriate measures of sanitization and appropriate social distancing between families” and should consider a range of options, including seating outside the building and online access for higher risk individuals.

“The lockdowns have closed churches at a time of greatest need, and they must reopen to meet the burgeoning needs of the community,” Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver said in the press release. But he seemingly undermined the thrust of his campaign with the caveat, “Each church is different and each one must assess when and how best to open.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/liberty-counsel-urges-churches-to-reopen-sunday-may-3/

Yes but in the time of the Great Pandemic, you don’t need to be at church that badly! And I say this a man of GAWD! You can still be at church, it’s just not the church you’re used to. And this is not permanent. And you are not being targeted. Until things get better, we’re all on the same page, and I’m pretty sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want! But there might be some good news in all this madness, Jim Bakker needs money! And LAWRD does he need it ever!

On his television program today, End Times pastor Jim Bakker begged viewers to send in donations by check so he can keep his ministry afloat and not have to declare bankruptcy.

As Right Wing Watch reported last week, Bakker is facing a dire financial crisis as a result of his network being unable to process credit card transactions ever since it found itself facing various legal problems for promoting the silver solution it sold as a possible cure for the COVID-19 coronavirus.

“I’m just sad to see what’s happening to America,” Bakker said. “We are living in the final days, and if we go the wrong direction, America is through. You have to use a check [to donate or purchase products]. Your products are going to come to you. Every one of them will come right to your house, and if we can’t, we are going to refund. I will sell parts of the buildings at Morningside in the long run if you give me a chance. Don’t let me have to file for bankruptcy.”

“They’re already bleeding us to death, and now we’re going to have to pay lawyers that will bleed you to death,” Bakker continued. “I know [my critics] are watching me right now, and they’re having a ball. They’re having a ball, and they’re saying, ‘Wow, we’ve whipped Jim Bakker finally’ … I’ll tell you what, you all may want my head on a platter, and you may get it, but I’ll be gone to Heaven, and you’re not going to win. You’re not going to win because I’m 80 years old, and I don’t need to win. I need to please God, and that’s what I’m going to do the rest of my life.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakker-begs-viewers-dont-let-me-have-to-file-for-bankruptcy/

Now I would go to a real life church if it were like that! Well, until next week we will be meeting again online until it’s safe to do so! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: We Report, You Die!
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh it’s a clip without context!

Yeah I think Jim doth protest too much here. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

Fox News, you got some ‘splainin to do! So there’s no question that the economy is tanking because of the awful coronavirus that is spreading. But those on the right, apparently want to kill us! Did I say “kill us”? I meant that they want to sacrifice us for the greater good of the economy! Now here’s the thing- this talking point that has emerged is absolutely fucking horrifying. As you may have guessed. Until there’s a vaccine, there’s no way out of this without seeing numbers for the virus absolutely skyrocket, and Fox News is leading the charge. They’re already staging protests across the country with the hope of overturning the lockdowns. But they’re turning the crazy extra hard in the last week especially. Let’s run down some of their greatest hits.

Another celebrity “doctor” is suffering from foot-in-mouth disease.

Now that many parts of the country have spent more than a month sheltering in place amid the COVID-19 pandemic, a growing chorus is calling for reopening the American economy, which is stirring up arguments of how soon is too soon. And the latest voice entering the fray is TV personality and psychologist Phil “Dr. Phil” McGraw, who compared the death toll of a global pandemic that is still peaking to the annual number of deaths from … swimming.

Contrary to McGraw’s comments, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that 36,560 people were killed in traffic crashes last year. What’s more, the CDC has reported 3,536 fatal unintentional drowning incidents (non-boating related) each year between 2005 and 2014 — a sobering number, for sure, but far short of the 360,000 a year figure cited by McGraw.

But the CDC does indeed estimate that cigarette smoking causes 480,000 deaths a year, including deaths from secondhand smoke.

McGraw also went on to hazard a guess that the lockdown will “actually create more death across time than the actual virus will itself” due to poverty and loneliness.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/dr-phils-argument-for-reopening-the-economy-we-dont-shut-down-the-country-for-car-accidents-and-swimming-pool-deaths-2020-04-17

Why the hell do these guys get asked for advice anyways? Yeah Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and even Dr. Drew. So these guys may be MDs (except for Dr. Phil), but there’s no way they should be asked for their opinion on anything! Here’s the thing in this day and age, if you say something stupid, you’re gonna wind up apologizing for saying that stupid thing. Which is exactly what Dr. Phil did.

If you’re seeking an unbiased opinion on an urgent national matter, probably the last place you want to go is Fox News — and if you’re looking for a qualified medical professional to speak on said matter, the last person you should turn to is Dr. Phil. Luckily for the public, a Thursday night episode of Laura Ingraham’s show offered the best of both worlds.

Professional charlatan Dr. Phil is garnering intense criticism for arguing in favor of ending state lockdowns in order to stimulate the economy, comparing COVID-19 deaths to car crash fatalities and swimming pool drownings in the process.

“People are dying from the coronavirus. I get that,” the good doctor generously conceded on Ingraham’s show. “But the fact of the matter is, 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, 360,000 a year from swimming pools, but we don’t shut the country down for that.” At least two of these statistics are actually wrong; per the National Safety Council, 38,800 people in the U.S. died from car crashes last year, and per the CDC, there are a little more than 3,500 nonboating-related drowning deaths a year in the United States, not all of which are specifically in swimming pools.
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/dr-phil-fox-news-laura-ingraham-coronavirus-covid19-985953/

Yeah that’s pretty much the manta at Fox News right now – they’re very actively trying to kill us in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. So how did Fox News get away with escalating the propaganda? Well we saw who their experts are. Now we are going to start seeing COVID deniers and even worse – COVID truthers.

PragerU’s Candace Owens has been a prolific conspiracy theorist and spreader of misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Owens has continuously spread misinformation about the virus, claiming hospitals are inflating death numbers for financial gain, downplaying the threat, and lashing out at social distancing and mitigation efforts.

On April 14th, Owens was a guest on Laura Ingraham's Fox News show to discuss “racializing coronavirus.”

As the national death toll of the coronavirus escalates, Owens has continued to downplay the crisis and insist that there are nefarious motivations behind the national attempt to mobilize Americans to flatten the curve.

On April 6th Owens claimed that it was “ironic” certain states, including New York, Connecticut, and California were claiming to be the hardest hit, and that there is “a financial incentive” for states to inflate the number of coronavirus deaths.

As the national and global death tolls rose, Owens used comparisons to different historical events to downplay the threat of COVID-19.
https://www.mediamatters.org/coronavirus-covid-19/laura-ingraham-hosts-covid-19-conspiracy-theorist-candace-owens

Here’s the thing I want to know – why is anyone turning to the advice of anti-vaxxers like Candice Owens during the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century? That would be like asking someone who’s lactose intolerant what their favorite ice cream flavor is. And by the way remember when Fox News kept bringing up death panels and pre-exisitng conditions during the Obamacare debate way back when? It’s kind of like that now in the opposite direction. There are death panels, and they’re coming to kill you!

Many right-wing media outlets — from Fox News to white AM talk radio — have promoted a great deal of misinformation about the coronavirus pandemic, which radio host Rush Limbaugh infamously compared to “the common cold.” But not only all right-wing media outlets have downplayed the severity of coronavirus: The Bulwark has offered an abundance of quality reporting on the pandemic. And Bulwark journalist Jonathan V. Last, this week, slams some of the bizarre contradictions that have been coming from coronavirus truthers.

“I’ve been consistently boggled by the loose affiliation of coronavirus-truthers, America Firsters, Catholic rad-trads, and economic boosters who have come together over the last month to insist that: (1) COVID-19 isn’t so bad. (2) The real problem is the economy and the lunacy of shutting America down,” Last asserts in an article published on Thursday

Coronavirus truthers, the conservative journalist adds, are demanding that the U.S. economy reopen and insist that social distancing is going too far.

“These people all seem to have different reasons for wanting America to ‘reopen,’” Last explains. “The only thing they have in common is that they all — from the Taliban Catholics to the alt-right trolls, from the conspiracy cranks to Peter Navarro — love them some Trump.”

Last adds, however, that coronavirus truthers overlook the fact that Trump himself supports social distancing for the rest of April — and that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who many of them hate, is part of Trump’s coronavirus task force.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/04/its-a-mystery-conservative-wonders-why-coronavirus-truthers-never-blame-trump-for-anything/

[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Dr. Oz
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!! Intermission! We’re going to take a quick break so I can feed my dog. I’ll give you some music while you wait.

Spin it again. Hey it’s time for This Fucking Guy!

This week’s This Fucking Guy is Dr. Oz. Yes, you know Dr. Oz, he’s the TV quack who hawks unproven and potentially dangerous protein supplements as if they’re actual medicine! And this is precisely the kind of reason why you shouldn’t ask for anyone’s advice for someone that became famous because they appeared on Oprah. Oprah has been known to hawk some bad medicine on her show. Just ask Dr. Phil! So here’s what is happening with this. But here’s the thing – when a brand new disease strikes, we have no idea what is going to happen or how this thing is going to play out. It could go away in August. Or it could come back with a raging force in September and last the rest of the year. But one thing we know for absolute certain- never listen to a guy like Dr. Oz! Or Dr. Phil. Or Dr. Drew.

Over the past decade, celebrity wellness brands have helped to frame how we talk and think about health. But now that we are in the grip of a deadly pandemic, their shameless marketing of healing crystals, supplements and cleanses (aka unhealthy crash diets) comes across as especially ludicrous and exploitative. Now more than ever, the public wants and needs good science from trusted sources.

In some ways it feels like the volume has been turned down on the celebrity wellness pontificators. (Indeed, Gwyneth Paltrow's pseudoscience spewing Netflix show, "The Goop Lab," debuted just three months ago but already feels like it is from a different, more New Age-friendly, epoch.) But in reality, they are still playing a large and less-than-constructive role in the public discourse surrounding COVID-19. Arguably, they are actually making things worse than they were before the public health crisis.

Take Dr. (Mehmet) Oz. The celebrity surgeon is suddenly everywhere, especially on Fox News, where he has been (mis)advising America and President Donald Trump on hydroxychloroquine, an anti-malaria drug that the president has been pushing as a treatment for the coronavirus, despite the many concerns of health professionals. Touting the unproven benefits of the drug without talking about the mixed science and its potentially deadly side effects is "inexcusable," a Mayo Clinic heart expert told NBC News recently.

This hasn't stopped Oz, however. On Thursday, he promoted a "self-reported" hydroxychloroquine clinical trial on Fox News without the vital caveat that it was designed only for patients so sick that they were already near death. And that this type of research is far from definitive (we need well-done clinical trials). It is exactly this kind of irresponsible commentary that led to a man to mistakenly ingest chloroquine phosphate (thinking it would prevent the coronavirus) and die. (Oz also implied reopening schools could lead to people dying but might be an acceptable "trade-off" — he later said he "misspoke.&quot

https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/dr-oz-s-hydroxychloroquine-advocacy-seduces-trump-coronavirus-wellness-woo-ncna1185596

But wait, there’s more! Yes, leave it to a pair of TV hacks to turn potential cures for this shitty virus into a late night TV infomercial. And who guessed that two guys who live and die by their TV appearances would hawk the same cures? I’m shocked, shocked!! And by the way when you’re looking for cures in the middle of the worst pandemic in an entire century, you don’t want to hear words like “maybe” or “almost” or “miracle”. Because as the survey might suggest, that’s complete 100% bullshit.

Business is booming for only a few industries—video conferencing, hand sanitizer, and…elderberry syrup manufacturers. In Washington, hit early and hard, a pair of siblings now work 70 hour weeks filling orders for their immune-boosting formulation, up four times from February. In Texas, a kombucha shop is selling out of elderberry concentrate and elderberry gummies. Across the United States, panicked consumers have cleaned out major retailers, who also report shortages of other “immune-boosting supplements,” among them Vitamin C, zinc, and Vitamin D.

It makes sense to see these purchases as irrational and possibly dangerous: a waste of money when money is scarce, and unscientific when respect for scientific authorities is at a premium. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the division of the National Institutes of Health tasked with evaluating “alternative” medicine, put out a warning with a key takeaway in bold print:

When Dr. Oz tells a national TV audience that supplements “may be beneficial in shortening the duration” of infection—elderberry among those he recommends—he’s in the same camp as televangelist Jim Bakker hawking “Silver Sol Liquid.”

Shut it all down, just like the FTC shut down Bakker. As health policy expert Timothy Caulfield argues in a blistering opinion piece, there should be no tolerance for pseudoscientific cures that drain resources and might kill you. We should condemn those engaged in “leveraging the fear and uncertainty surrounding the outbreak to sell products and ill-conceived health theories,” whether they’re faith healers, Dr. Oz, or supplement sellers—and we should strive to educate those who fall for their sales pitches so they are no longer vulnerable.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/the-overlooked-reason-people-are-scrambling-for-pseudoscientific-healing-amid-the-coronavirus-pandemic/

Seriously, at this point I’d trust Dr. Nick over Dr. Oz. But really you think that the idea of selling unproven supplements might be a bad idea? Especially in the age where actual health care is ridiculously expensive and more people are choosing to self-medicate, you really don’t want to hear the words “unproven” next to a medication you might plan to buy. Nor do you want to hear the words “unholy alliance”. Actually, you never want to hear the words “unholy alliance” on anything.

Of course President Trump is getting advice about the pandemic from Mehmet Oz, and of course Dr. Oz is eager to provide it. They’re a match made in ratings-obsessed heaven.

Oz, mind you, is not a virologist. Not an epidemiologist. His actual specialty — cardiothoracic surgery — isn’t the most immediately relevant to the coronavirus. But his real specialty is using medicine as a means to maximum public exposure. He wasn’t about to let this dark chapter go to waste.

Over recent weeks he has made a blizzard of appearances on Fox News, giving interviews to hosts not exactly known for the dissemination of responsible information. I mean Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, the Trump-besotted pep squad on “Fox & Friends.”

And part of what the good doctor has done on these showcases is promote the anti-malarial treatment hydroxychloroquine as a potential wonder drug for Covid-19. An article by CNN Business’s Oliver Darcy and Kevin Liptak on Tuesday said that these plugs had piqued the president’s interest in the treatment, which he frequently mentions — rather, moons over — at his daily coronavirus news conferences. And The Times has reported that Oz also pitched hydroxychloroquine in conversations with members of the Trump administration.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/08/opinion/coronavirus-trump-dr-oz.html

So between hawking hydroxychloroquine and useless protein supplements, Dr. Oz is treading some very dangerous waters here. But in case you’re wondering about the kind of effect that Dr. Oz has on hawking some serious bullshit, there’s actually a thing in the food and dietary supplement industry about the “Dr. Oz” effect. He’s not really a doctor, he’s more like a marketer who hawks medically adjacent products.

“Ten years ago, we used to talk about the Dr. Oz effect. That would usually be covered by two or three products,” Emme says. “Now we have hundreds of products that have massive demand.”

At Maypro Ventures, President Dan Lifton can point to February numbers as almost quaint. Through its Quality of Life finished product brand, sales of immunity products, led by the Kinoko AHCC mushroom blend, were up 28%. He knows sales will be higher, far higher, for March. “We are stocking up in an unprecedented way,” Lifton says.

On the ingredient supplier side, Lifton says Maypro is seeing a dramatic “uptick” for herbs such as echinacea and astralagus and that interest in the company’s Morinaga BB536 probiotic is suddenly trending. Lifton predicts a “permanent expansion” for the immunity category, but he expects every category will grow in the short and long term. “I think the gateway drug phenomenon will hold,” he says, explaining that customers will be drawn in by immunity and follow that interest into other categories. “Use of multivitamins will go up. Ultimately, the biggest driver for supplement use is prevention.”

Len Monheit, CEO at Trust Transparency Center, agrees that immunity and prevention are just the beginning of the success story. “Immunity is going to lead the charge, and it’s already exploding. But you’re going to see your multis do well,” Monheit says. Other ingredients like ashwagandha could be less obvious hits. “You’re going to have stress, and you’re going to have energy [do well] because these are challenging times.”
https://www.newhope.com/news/demand-dietary-supplements-spikes-coronavirus-spreads

Yeah that just seems like the kind of thing that would burn down the emergency room. So more product hawking and less doctoring, that’s Dr. Oz, this week’s:

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!! Oh a clip without context!

Uh… have you seen the news lately John? Nobody is making money! So that makes your little theory there officially moot. Spin it again!! Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Yes, sadly, even the pandemic has not stopped people from being the ridiculously dumb animals that they are. So with that in mind, let’s start with this story out of Iowa. OK look… look. People we really need to calm when it comes to where the virus actually is. Because there’s a huge steaming load of misinformation out there when it the coronavirus. So naturally people are going to be confused as to where the virus actually is and how it gets tramsitted. But if you think it’s on your drugs, well, you might be on them.

Worried that her methamphetamine was contaminated, an Iowa woman drove to police headquarters and asked cops to check her stash for the coronavirus, according to court records.

Shawn Salmen, 53, arrived at the Sioux City Police Department Sunday afternoon and reportedly admitted to officers that she recently used meth. Which appeared obvious since the paranoid Salmen was sweating profusely and acting erratically, cops say.

While speaking with police, Salmen “was requesting officers to check her narcotics for the COVID-19 Virus,” a criminal complaint states.

During a subsequent pat down of Salmen and a search of her truck, cops recovered 14.4 grams of meth, marijuana, and “a large amount of drug paraphernalia.”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/iowa-meth-test-712038

Well that’s one way to do it! Next up – church. You know even religion is hurting in this trying time when there’s a killer virus that has just ravaged everything we care about. But that doesn’t exempt them from being dumb. Even a state-sanctioned religion like the Church Of England isn’t exempt from bringing on the stupid. Or a misfortune. We’ll let you be the judge.

A church was presented with signs reading "Chris is risen" after a mix up at the printers.

Acomb Parish Church, in York, had ordered four banners saying 'Christ is Risen' but the 'T' was missed off the finished article.

However, assistant Curate Ned Lunn said the error was discovered before the signs were delivered.

A BBC Radio York Facebook post has been shared more than 3,000 times, prompting one person to reply 'More T vicar?'

Mr Lunn said: "I'm so glad the customer spotted the mistake. It'll save a bit of embarrassment and a lot of confusion.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-35899023

Praise Chris!!!! Next up – of course our good friends in the Sunshine State, scheduled to go up next in our 2020 Stupidest State tournament – is never exempt from bringing on the crazy. I mean when you live in warm climates on beaches surrounded by oil, with excessive booze and crystal meth easily available, you’re bound to get some stupid idiots. Such is the case here.

A Florida Woman placed plastic Easter eggs stuffed with pornographic images and other items in the mailboxes of scores of homeowners, according to cops who say they collared the “deranged offender” last night.

Investigators allege that Abril Cestoni, 42, delivered the X-rated material over the past several days, resulting in her arrest on 11 counts of distributing obscene items.

A charging affidavit alleges that Cestoni, seen above, stuffed mailboxes with Easter eggs and a pamphlet containing “incoherent rants about local religious clergy” and “multiple pornographic images.”

After a homeowner last night called 911 to report a suspicious person placing something in her mailbox, cops pulled over Cestoni’s car. Upon being read her rights, Cestoni reportedly admitted to distributing the plastic eggs and the pamphlets. Acknowledging she had distributed obscene material, Cestoni claimed she included the images “because homosexuals are allowed to teach in the church.”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/easter/dirty-easter-eggs-734908

Ah, that most elusive of dishes – the fabrege egg salad! Next up – we go to that most socially distant of US states, Michigan’s famous Upper Peninsula! Yes, while the Uppers (as they call themselves) rarely make the news, when they do so, they do so in spectacular fashion! You call that a knife? Well I got a chainsaw!!

A man and a woman, chased off by a Houghton County homeowner defending his property with a chainsaw, face first-degree home invasion charges.

Forty-year-old Sasha Joy Anderson of South Range and 32-year-old Christopher William Darmofal of Warren were arraigned Monday morning in Houghton County District Court.

First-degree home invasion is a felony with a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison.

Darmofal is also charged with carrying a concealed weapon, felonious assault and malicious destruction of personal property.

The Houghton County Sheriff's Office says around 4:00 a.m. Saturday in South Range, Darmofal pulled a knife on a man inside his home. The man defended himself with a chainsaw, and Darmofal and Anderson ran away. Deputies found them at another home in South Range.

Investigators say no one was hurt. Anderson's bond was set at $300 cash. Darmofal's was set at $5,000 cash. Their preliminary hearings will be set within three weeks.
https://www.uppermichiganssource.com/content/news/Sheriffs-office--569576961.html

Yeah it stinks like fish in here all right! Finally this week – Florida governor Ron DeSantis might possibly be one of the dumbest people in the country and he’s certainly in the running for one of the worst governors of all time. So of course we’re all going stir crazy in this time of isolation and quarantine during the great pandemic. But Ron DeSantis has his priorities totally out of whack. Beaches? OK to open! Schools? Must remain closed!

Hundreds of people swarmed Florida's beaches Saturday, just one day after Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) announced they would be allowed to open at local leaders' discretion.

Images of people flocking to beaches in the Jacksonville, Fla., area went viral on Twitter on Saturday, prompting backlash from users on the platform and the hashtag "#FloridaMorons."

DeSantis on Friday allowed cities with beachfronts to begin opening their beaches at their own discretion. The same day, Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry (R) announced that Duval County’s beaches would reopen.

However, the easing of restrictions still banned people from bringing towels and chairs — to prevent large congregations — and limited the hours. People are encouraged to go on walks or swim and remain six feet or farther apart from one another to maintain social distancing.

“This can be the beginning of the pathway back to normal life,” Curry said. “Please respect and follow these limitations. Stay within the guidelines for your safety as well as for the safety of your neighbors.”
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/493510-florida-beaches-swarm-with-people-following-reopening-amid-pandemic?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 1: Gun Nut Championships
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Let’s give the wheel one final spin this week! And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Ah, it’s another one of our famous clips without context!

Funny I don’t remember the Constitution being written by god. I must have fallen asleep during that lecture in 8th grade history. Spin it again! It’s time for Stupidest State 2020!

Welcome back to the 2020 Stupidest State! Just to recap last week was the last week of Round 1 and Week 4 was quite the stunner! We were in New Orleans where it was a battle of the 3s and 4s when over in the Family Values Conference, Mike Pence’s Indiana upset Jim Jones and his heavily favored Ohio squad with a thrilling last second buzzer beater! Meanwhile, over in the Batshit Conference, Idaho hangs on against surging South Carolina to play Virginia for the Batshit Crown! Now, since nearly all of America’s sports venues are closed for the foreseeable future, we are doing things simulated from here through the championship. Yes, simulated! This week, we’re in Chicago at the home of the Blackhawks and Bulls, the United Center, for the 2nd round action! #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico! Let’s go to the floor for more!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Championship: Florida Vs New Mexico:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Florida is notoriously famous for having one of the single highest concentrations of guns, gun shops, and gun conventions in all of America. But since the Great Pandemic, gun conventions are completely closed to the public for the time being. Shame. Where are Florida’s Gun Nuts going to get their illegal backdoor weapons purchase fix? Well there’s plenty of alternate opportunities for gun purchases in the Sunshine State. And in fact, since the pandemic happened, gun manufacturers should actually revel in the fact that they are doing gangbusters business.

Guns purchases in Florida peaked in the middle of the month as the coronavirus fears gained momentum, and more guns were sold in March than any March in the last decade.

Dallas, who didn’t want to give us her last name, is a first time gun buyer.

“I believe in the second amendment, and the right to protect yourself,” said Dallas.

And while she says it isn’t all about the virus, sales at Kevin’s in the state's capital peaked in mid-March and have been steady since.

“It is another factor that makes me think, 'Should I be prepared if someone were to come and infringe on my rights,'” said Dallas.

"It’s a lot of first time buyers. People just wanting to protect themselves I think. They don’t know the outcome that lives in the future and just trying to get ahead of things. Supplies are drying up a little bit,” said Brandon Long, the gun manager at Kevin’s.

Bill and Jeanette Busby aren’t first time buyers, nor are they preppers.

“We’re going to go to the range and practice, and give her a little safety with it. But we’re not real big in guns,” said Bill.
https://www.wctv.tv/content/news/Florida-gun-sales-surge-in-March-569326161.html

Yeah that might be the sensible thing to do right now – just cut Florida off and let them sail into the Gulf Of Mexico. Maybe take Georgia with you. Sorry, Cuba! And let me get this straight – you’re buying a gun during one of the worst disasters in US history and you’re not a doomsday prepper? No, you’re a doomsday prepper, let’s not kid ourselves. At least with no gun show loophole, they’re choosing to get their guns legally. You know, tyranny and all.

As news of a worldwide coronavirus pandemic broke, many rushed to buy toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and guns.

"We had two to three weeks of an Armageddon-type of set up," said Alex Shkop, owner of Guns & Range Training Center in West Palm Beach.

For weeks, long lines could be seen outside gun stores in West Palm Beach with armed guards or law enforcement standing by to help with crowd control.

Numerous gun shop owners told WPTV Contact 5 on background that many purchasers were first-time gun owners.

"We had people that were basically openly admitting that they have never owned a gun, they have never used a gun," said Shkop. "They were purchasing firearms and they were asking questions like how to use them and how to take care of them. A lot of first-time buyer questions."
https://www.wflx.com/2020/04/10/background-checks-gun-sales-reach-all-time-high-florida/

And yeah everyone, their mums, their dads, their pets, and their kids are packing heat in the Sunshine State. We kid all the time, but when you see stories like this, you know that things are really fucked up in Florida. And our extremely lax and loose gun laws in the world can even allow animals to get guns. Yup, you read that right!

Fla. - Florida authorities tracking a stolen car also discovered a little something unexpected — a baby alligator being kept as a pet.

Seminole County Sheriff Dennis Lemma held a press conference Friday to announce details of the arrest made the day before. A deputy ran a license plate number and discovered a car was stolen.

The deputy trailed the car to a Lake Mary home and stopped a separate car that was attempting to leave the driveway. Deputies found guns, heroin and cocaine in the car, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Inside the house, investigators found the baby alligator along with more drugs and guns. The sheriff’s office posted photos on its Facebook page.
https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/baby-alligator-found-with-drugs-guns-in-central-florida-arrest

[font size="4"]New Mexico[/font]

We saw in Florida how they have one of the highest concentrations of guns in this country. Now how are they matched with a state that has one of the highest concentrations of drugs in this country? Well, it’s a pretty solid match. And it’s no secret that the Great Pandemic has turned things upside down and inside out. Now let’s look at the exact opposite of Florida – New Mexico. While New Mexico may be underdogs in this tournament, their gun nuts mean business. So much that they are planning to sue the governor over gun shop closures.

The National Rifle Association and other pro-gun organizations on Friday filed a lawsuit against Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham for closing gun stores in New Mexico during the COVID-19 crisis.

The NRA and the other plaintiffs filed the case in U.S. District Court in Albuquerque, claiming the governor, as well as the state Department of Health and Secretary Kathyleen Kunkel, violated citizens’ Second and 14th amendment rights for not considering firearm stores “essential.”

As a result of Lujan Grisham’s order, all firearm-specific retailers and gun ranges in New Mexico are closed.

“It’s very important that, even in a situation such as this, people are able to exercise their basic and most fundamental rights,” said Cody Wisniewski of Mountain States Legal Foundation, one of the firms representing the plaintiffs.

Lujan Grisham extended the closure of many in-person businesses on Monday, including firearm stores, until April 30 in order “to minimize the spread of COVID-19.”
https://www.abqjournal.com/1442626/gun-groups-file-suit-over-closure-of-gun-shops-ranges-ex-lawsuit-claims-gun-shops-are-essential-businesses-and-order-violates-2nd-14th-amendments-2.html

You tell ‘em Homer! What these gun nuts and religious zealots don’t understand is that these closures are just temporary! Temporary! They’re not permanent. And just like Florida, New Mexico’s gun owners are also having their fair share of problems, like inflated background checks. Well, you can’t say that the system isn’t getting used or anything!

Similar to many other states, New Mexico had a record-setting month in March for firearm background checks amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

The FBI performed 24,571 background checks in the state last month through its National Instant Criminal Background Check System, which does not account for how many guns each person buys.

The number exceeds that of any month in New Mexico since the FBI began tracking firearm background checks in 1998.

When compared with the number of background checks during the same time last year, the number had risen by 45%.

Gun stores around the state reported that sales skyrocketed after Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham declared a public health emergency on March 11, with many running low on different types of firearms and ammunition.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1441010/background-checks-for-gun-sales-hit-record.html

New Mexico also shares a border with actual Mexico. And remember two years ago when the migrant issue on the Border was a huge thing and there was that guy who formed his own militia to round up immigrants? Well it backfired and he got arrested, and last week he was finally sentenced. Yes, he got his just desserts.

A New Mexico man who had been described as a "commander" of a group accused of detaining migrants was sentenced to nearly two years in prison Wednesday for illegally possessing guns, prosecutors said.

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, 70, was sentenced to 21 months for being a felon in possession of a firearm, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of New Mexico said in a statement.

Hopkins pleaded guilty in January under a plea agreement and admitted to having possessed nine pistols, rifles and shotguns on Nov. 28, 2017, in San Juan County, the U.S. attorney's office said.

Hopkins is barred from owning guns because of previous convictions in Michigan, Oregon and South Dakota.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/commander-new-mexico-group-detained-migrants-near-border-sentenced-n1184911

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQZTfuFSzghz4QMNNPkroDJnyOlHZ9wubzCYmogJ-eid0kKrZ2a&usqp=CAU

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

No doubt about it, Florida utterly routed New Mexico and they have secured the first spot in the Final Four to play for the crown! Final score: 94 – 66. Florida - cut that net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re live at the home of the Chicago Blackhawks, the United Center in Chicago, IL for the Family Values Conference championships! #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for the Family Values crown!

See you next week!

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April 8, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well hello everyone. First off congratulations to Modern Family for 11 seasons and Schitts Creek for 6 seasons. Those are monumental achievements. I normally would congratulate the winner of the NCAA tournament this year, but there was no NCAA tournament this year. Fuck you coronavirus. his is our third consecutive home show. Yeah we will be doing these for a while until the pandemic and social distancing and isolation is over. So what’s there to do? Where do we go? The fact of the matter is that nobody likes to be isolated and this is getting ridiculous finding things to do while you’re holed up. And we, for one, can’t wait to get back to doing our full and proper live show. And I’m sure there’s a lot of live shows who want to do the same. But that said let’s talk about happier news before it’s all virus, all the time. So yesterday was both National Beer Day *AND* World Health Day. Is it any coincidence that these two days happen to fall on the same day? If it’s quarantine season then we got to do something to keep us occupied until this whole thing is over, so we might as well be drinking. And how – at least one industry we don’t have to worry about in the age of pandemic is the alcohol industry – they are thriving. Because what else is there to do when you can’t go outside? Let’s drink! And hey, I will gladly raise a toast to that! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into Trump’s favorite news network called OAN, and if you haven’t heard of them, they are pretty much a preview of what state run TV is going to look like:

Taking the first slot this week is SCOTUS. Yes, we have to talk about the Wisconsin decision that’s putting a lot of lives at stake because our voting system is so broken and well, it’s pure fucking evil.In the number two slot his week is Donald Trump (2). Fitting that Trump is taking the number two slot this week since everything he touches turns to shit. So there’s rumors that he might go golfing, while he sticks Jared Kushner in charge of the pandemic response. WHY?????? At slot #3 this week is The People Who Fire The Whistleblowers (3) which includes Trump firing Navy captain Brett Crozier who just informed his superiors about COVID taking over his ship, and Amazon firing a warehouse employee on Long Island who threatened a walk out. Why? Taking the 4th slot this week, there’s people making money from the pandemic, and there’s Senators who knew ahead of time that things would get this bad. So who did and how did they do it? At slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and why is heartburn drug Zantac being recalled? This seems like a bad time to be doing this. Taking the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, Christians are defying stay-at-home orders and congregating in large groups, but one pastor in Pennsylvania is set to take things to the next level. And our resident pastor is going to tell you why this is a really bad idea. At slot #7 this week, we have a new edition of our favorite segment Beating A Dead Horse (7) – after alt metal band Trapt went off the rails and full MAGA, they are suing their parody accounts that have sprung up on Twitter. Is this OK? Maybe not. Taking the #8 slot, our new segment Conspiracy Corner (8) returns for yet another go round, and this week, why are right wingers trying to film their local hospitals in an effort to discredit the media? I got news for you, they don’t have time for your bullshit! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new “I Need A Drink”. And this week, after a string of some incredibly bizarre and stupid crimes in the wake of the virus, is it safe to say that Jersey is the new Florida? Probably. Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 4! This week it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina to play Virginia in the finals! Meanwhile, over in the Family Values conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana to play reigning champion Alabama! The Elite 8 is beginning to shape up! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]SCOTUS
[br] [/font] [br]

In case you haven’t heard, we are in the middle of the worst public health crisis that hasn’t been seen in a century. And the last thing you want to do is put people’s lives in danger. That’s what the people of Wisconsin have been suing over. See, they had an election this week where a vital state supreme court seat was at stake. Now, Trump has been actively pimping out for the incumbent saying that he will protect your 2nd amendment rights. Now in the age of pandemic, guns really should be like last on the list of things to protect right? Well, we live in backwards fuck town, and we have this to deal with. So why is this election so important?

In Milwaukee, citizens were forced to choose between following public health orders to stay home and stand in line for hours at one of just five polling places the city kept open amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Across the state along the St. Croix River, a state senator who is her county’s chief medical examiner brought a homemade face mask to the polls because she didn’t want to take a surgical mask from her co-workers who will have to inspect the bodies of people who die from the coronavirus.

And everywhere in between, Wisconsinites reported an array of problems with absentee ballots. Some didn’t arrive, some couldn’t be legally witnessed and others were afraid to venture outside their homes to return their ballots by Tuesday night’s deadline.

It added up to an election almost certain to be tarred as illegitimate and contested by whichever side loses — especially if the conservative State Supreme Court Justice Daniel Kelly wins a full 10-year term.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/07/us/politics/wisconsin-primary-election.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So this is one of the worst choices that you could possibly make, like which half of the shit sandwich tastes the best. I would personally pick the left half because it has mustard on it. Because a shit sandwich with mustard on it, is still a shit sandwich. And you know how bad this is going to get? Well I will happily put on a hazmat suit to vote for Joe Biden. Especially after this.

Amid the global coronavirus outbreak and over the objections of a governor who tried to stop it at the last minute, Wisconsin held its election yesterday for the Democratic presidential nomination, state Supreme Court and several local offices. We won’t have actual results until Monday at the earliest, but at this point, we do know that the election experienced a number of setbacks.

Across the state, a shortage of poll workers led to the closure and consolidation of many polling places, which resulted in extremely long lines on Election Day. For example, Milwaukee — a city of almost 600,000 people — had just five polling places open (in normal circumstances, it would have 180 polling places). As a result, wait times in Milwaukee averaged one and a half to two hours, with some voters waiting as long as two and a half hours to cast their ballots. In Green Bay, a city of 105,000 that downsized from 31 polling places to just two, some voters waited nearly three hours. Long lines were also reported in the Milwaukee suburb of Waukesha, which was forced to consolidate to one polling place for its population of 70,000. But in cities where fewer polling places closed, there seemed to be fewer hiccups. For example, Madison (a city less than half Milwaukee’s size) kept 66 polling places open (compared with 92 normally), and there were no major reports of lines at them.

Everywhere, though, election officials took extraordinary measures to keep voters safe. Plexiglass barriers were erected at many polling places to separate poll workers from voters. And in Fitchburg, a suburb of Madison, poll workers were instructed to wipe down voting equipment every 15 minutes. In the small city of Lake Mills, voter Jonathan McLaughlin told FiveThirtyEight he was given hand sanitizer on his way into the polling place, and each voter was given a fresh Bic pen with which to vote (they were told to either keep it or throw it away when they were done). And according to Kelly Westlund, who was working the polls in Ashland, a city of 8,000 in northern Wisconsin, she and her team sanitized their hands and the voting equipment regularly and made sure voters kept at least six feet apart. All the poll workers in Ashland were also provided with masks from local hat manufacturer Stormy Kromer.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/voters-experiences-in-wisconsin-amid-the-coronavirus/

Yes, this is literally playing with fire here. And you know how much fire this is? Well picture a burning building. Now picture fucking Godzilla attacking that burning building while pouring kerosene on it and sulfur reigns down on it. That’s about the extent of the severity of this. And assuming this coronavirus drags on all year guess what? they’re setting things up so they can steal the election in November from Biden! That’s where this is headed. The dominoes are in place.

Three weeks ago, I wrote that the real threat to the 2020 election is not that Donald Trump will use the coronavirus to try to cancel it but that Republicans will try to steal it, state by state, county by county. In an election in which a record number of people may attempt to vote by absentee ballot, Republican state officials can choose simply to mail ballots to people in counties that traditionally vote for Republicans—and not mail enough ballots to the far more populous counties that traditionally vote for Democrats. In so doing, they can slant the general election toward Donald Trump and other Republicans running for election without Trump having to go through all the bother of declaring himself “dictator for life,” which might spook Mitt Romney.

Last night, the Supreme Court gave Republicans the go-ahead to proceed with that scheme. You don’t need an army to cross the Rubicon when you have henchmen on the Supreme Court willing to do all the dirty work.

The case before the Supreme Court involved today’s federal primary election in Wisconsin. The Democratic governor of the state, Tony Evers, asked the Republican-controlled state Legislature to move back the date of the election, like so many other states have done, amid concerns over Covid-19. The Legislature said no, deliberating for all of 17 seconds on the matter. Evers then asked the Legislature to mail absentee ballots to every voter in Wisconsin. The Republicans said no. Yesterday afternoon, Evers issued an executive order moving the election to June 9. But the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Supreme Court overruled him by nightfall.
https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/scotus-wisconsin-election/

Yes, holy shit indeed! If the fact that they didn’t even spend a full minute debating this reckless disregard for life should fucking terrify you, then nothing will! Just how evil is this decision? Well it’s pretty damn evil and everyone from Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Bernie Sanders to Biden himself has been decrying this decision because it will put people’s lives at stake. The coronavirus is nothing to fuck around with, and SCOTUS put party over country with this one. Well guess what? COVID-19 doesn’t care which side you vote for. We’re all sitting ducks, and this made it worse.

On Monday, by a 5–4 vote, the U.S. Supreme Court approved one of the most brazen acts of voter suppression in modern history. The court will nullify the votes of citizens who mailed in their ballots late—not because they forgot, but because they did not receive ballots until after Election Day due to the coronavirus pandemic. As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote in dissent, the court’s order “will result in massive disenfranchisement.” The conservative majority claimed that its decision would help protect “the integrity of the election process.” In reality, it calls into question the legitimacy of the election itself.

Wisconsin has long been scheduled to hold an election on April 7. There are more than 3,800 seats on the ballot, and a crucial state Supreme Court race. But the state’s ability to conduct in-person voting is imperiled by COVID-19. Thousands of poll workers have dropped out for fear of contracting the virus, forcing cities to shutter dozens of polling places. Milwaukee, for example, consolidated its polling locations from 182 to five, while Green Bay consolidated its polling locations from 31 to two. Gov. Tony Evers asked the Republican-controlled Legislature to postpone the election, but it refused. So he tried to delay it himself with an executive order on Monday. But the Republican-dominated state Supreme Court reinstated the election, thereby forcing voters to choose between protecting their health and exercising their right to vote.

Because voters are rightfully afraid of COVID-19, Wisconsin has been caught off guard by a surge in requests for absentee ballots. Election officials simply do not have time, resources, or staff to process all those requests. As a result, a large number of voters—at least tens of thousands—won’t get their ballots until after Election Day. And Wisconsin law disqualifies ballots received after that date. In response, last Thursday, a federal district court ordered the state to extend the absentee ballot deadline. It directed officials to count votes mailed after Election Day so long as they were returned by April 13. A conservative appeals court upheld his decision.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/04/supreme-court-wisconsin-absentee-ballots.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

OK you know how you get that feeling when someone says one thing and then turns around and does that thing that they accuse the other person of? Well, Trump and the republicans do that often, and very frequently. Well, after spending the better part of last year accusing Hunter Biden of nepotism, Trump goes around and appoints Jared Kusher to head the pandemic response team. Yes, that’s right – he went to Jared. Damn it, I’ve been saving that one for 3 years and I can’t tell it in front of a live audience. This bites. Fuck this virus. But yeah this is the exact kind of person who you don’t put in charge of a pandemic – a millionaire slum lord. And I say that because Jared Kusher ran his apartment complexes into the ground. So yeah you don’t want him in charge of something like this.

As the coronavirus task force gathered for their now-daily press briefing, a familiar figure joined them on stage: President Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner.

"Today you're going hear from Jared Kushner, senior adviser to the President of the United States, but someone that the White House Coronavirus Task Force directed to work with FEMA on supply chain issues," explained Vice President Mike Pence. "And in recent weeks, he has been leading a working group, in conjunction with FEMA, that literally has identified millions of medical supplies around the nation and around the world. And we're grateful for his efforts and his leadership."
Er, OK?

Kushner, it would appear, has insinuated himself into a prominent role in coordinating the administration's coronavirus response despite no obvious qualifications -- he isn't a doctor, an infectious disease expert or someone who has run large organizations -- for such a prominent role.

"Because of his unique status, he has made himself the point of contact for many agency officials who know that he can force action and issue decisions without going to the president. But while Mr. Kushner and his allies say that he has brought more order to the process, the government's response remains fragmented and behind the curve."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/03/politics/jared-kushner-coronavirus/index.html

What unique status? The only reason he has a unique status is that he happens to be married to your girlfriend, er, daughter Ivanka. Yeah that got weird didn’t it? I would expect groaning and moaning from a live audience over that joke. But no, you’re sticking with me. Yeah I keep dwelling on the fact that I have no audience but I am dealing with it. Back on topic, oh yeah letting Jared do this is an extremely bad idea. And conspiracy theorists know that having the word “shadow” when describing their unit means that it is fucking shady to begin with. So why are they OK with this?

The twist of fate that has cast Jared Kushner as a would-be savior in the greatest public health crisis to confront the United States in a century is a dramatic one.

The moment of national peril has been compared to September 11. Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, said coronavirus was her country’s greatest challenge since the second world war.

As the leader of the federal government effort to distribute emergency equipment to the states, Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, has mostly shied from the public stage, but he now is working in history’s spotlight.

His vast responsibilities include weighing requests from governors for aid and coordinating with private companies to obtain medical equipment, work he carries out from a special post created for him inside the Federal Emergency Management Agency, where his team is called “the Slim Suit crowd” for their distinctive tailoring, the New York Times has reported.

Kushner’s team was credited with coordinating a planeload of medical supplies that arrived in the US from China last week.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/05/jared-kushner-coronavirus-aid-trump-governors

Yeah except when most people go to Jared, they get excited because it means they’re getting married, or they’re getting a ridiculous piece of jewelry they can’t possibly afford! This Jared, on the other hand is a literal fuck up. In fact he fucks things up so much that he should get a cover story on “Fuck Up Of The Year” magazine! If such a magazine existed. But we don’t have to tell you that this is a really terrible idea.

Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law and senior adviser, criticized governors Thursday, saying they don't have a handle on their own supplies of masks and ventilators needed to combat the coronavirus outbreak.

In a rare appearance in the White House briefing room, Kushner urged governors and some senators to be more resourceful in their own states instead of looking first to the federal government for help.

"What a lot of the voters are seeing now is that when you elect somebody to be a mayor or governor or president, you're trying to think about who will be a competent manager during the time of crisis," he said. "This is a time of crisis, and you're seeing certain people are better managers than others."

Kushner, a real estate executive with no public health expertise, generally works behind scenes at the White House. So, critics have been curious about his role in the administration's efforts to confront the coronavirus pandemic.
https://www.npr.org/2020/04/04/826922646/jared-kushners-role-in-coronavirus-response-draws-scrutiny-criticism

And honestly that’s kind of what Trump did. He put a fucking real estate executive in charge of the worst health crisis not seen in an entire century. Maybe he should put, I don’t know, people who know shit about public health in charge! Is it any fucking wonder why people don’t trust the government? Yeah let’s put a guy in charge of housing in a health crisis. That’s an epic fail no matter how you look at it. And yes, this will end badly. Just look at how it went this week!

Members of a White House coronavirus task force were ordered to work from home after one person’s partner tested positive for the virus, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) said in an email to staff.

The email said all staff on the supply chain sub task force who worked on a certain floor of a FEMA building in Washington, D.C., are required to telework starting Tuesday. The person, described by FEMA as a “partner” who is a federal employee, visited FEMA headquarters in Washington.

A FEMA spokesperson told The Hill that "at no time" did the person who tested positive "or any other known to have contact with them, come within six feet of any other Task Force principal for a prolonged period of time."

Admiral John Polowczyk, who is leading the sub task force, was listed as a recipient of the email, according to NBC. The unit he leads is tasked with acquiring, shipping and distributing equipment to combat the coronavirus. On Thursday, Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) urged Trump to tap a supply director. The president told him to stop “complaining”.

Read more: https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/491569-white-house-coronavirus-unit-ordered-to-work-from-home-after-positive

[font size="8"]The Fate Of Captain Crozier
[br] [/font] [br]

WHO FIRED THE WHISTLEBLOWERS??? OK why am I shouting? I am doing this out of my house, there’s no audience right now. But yeah if you’ve been following the absolutely shocking and horrifying developments out of the US Navy, and you’re not looking with absolute horror, then you sir or madam, have no soul. Because when you see what happened with Captain Brett Crozier, the longtime captain of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, it is truly stunning what happened. He sounded the alarm about COVID being on his ship, and guess what? He got fired! Because that’s how Trump rolls. Yeah so last week reports of the horrid disease aboard USS Roosevelt started spreading. And here’s what Trump did.

The episode I’m about to mention has been receiving saturation social-media attention for the past few hours, as I write. But because the accelerating torrent of news tends to blast away each day’s events and make them hard to register—even a moment like this, which I expect will be included in histories of our times—I think it is worth noting this episode while it is fresh.

Until a few days ago, Brett Crozier would have been considered among the U.S. Navy’s most distinguished commanders.

He graduated from the Naval Academy in 1992 and then entered training as a naval aviator. He was qualified first as a helicopter pilot, and then in the Navy’s F/A-18 fighter planes. He was deployed aboard the aircraft carrier Nimitz during the Iraq war, and he held an ascending series of staff and command jobs—as you can read in his Pentagon biography, here. He received a master’s degree from the Naval War College; he became executive officer (second in command) of the nuclear-powered carrier Ronald Reagan; and he became commander of the amphibious ship Blue Ridge. Then late last year, as a Navy captain, he took command of the Nimitz-class nuclear carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt and the 4,000-plus people in its crew.

Last week, coronavirus sickness spread rapidly among the Roosevelt’s crew members. Five days ago, on Sunday, Matthias Gafni and Joe Garofoli of the San Francisco Chronicle published an email by Crozier, addressed to his naval superiors, asking that the ship be diverted from its normal duties so that sick crew members could be treated and the spread of disease could be slowed. Gafni and Garofoli did not say how they had received the email, but it had been copied to a large number of recipients and not marked as sensitive; Crozier must have known it was likely to become public when he sent it.
https://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2020/04/time-capsule-11-captain-crozier/609409/

Well yes, ladies I would absolutely agree with you! And it gets worse. Oh it gets so much worse my friends who are braving with me on this home edition. I’m not even going to acknowledge that he has COVID, because you probably already knew that. And you probably also knew that Trump most likely didn’t read Capt. Crozier’s letter, and if you think he did, well, I’ve got a bottle of silver solution to sell you for $59.99.

It was a send-off for the ages, with hundreds of sailors aboard the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt cheering Capt. Brett E. Crozier, the commander who sacrificed his naval career by writing a letter to his superiors demanding more help as the novel coronavirus spread through the ship.

The rousing show of support provided the latest gripping scene to emerge from the coronavirus pandemic: the rank and file shouting their admiration for a boss they viewed as putting their safety ahead of his career.

The memes were quick to sprout on social media. On Reddit, one depicted Captain Crozier forced to choose between rescuing his career or his sailors from a burning building; he chooses his sailors. On Twitter, a slew of videos showed Captain Crozier’s walk down the gangway in Guam, most of them depicting him as a hero struck down by his superiors for trying to save the lives of his crew. “Wrongfully relieved of command but did right by sailors,” wrote Twitter user Dylan Castillo, alongside a video of Captain Crozier leaving his ship.

But in removing Captain Crozier from command, senior Navy officials said they were protecting the historic practice that complaints and requests have to go up a formal chain of command. They argued that by sending his concerns to 20 or 30 people in a message that eventually leaked to news organizations, Captain Crozier showed he was no longer fit to lead the fast-moving effort to treat the crew and clean the ship.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/03/us/politics/coronavirus-brett-crozier-theodore-roosevelt.html

Oh come on, we kid! We kid! Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to go out on? We love our Navy brothers and sisters here! But this is one of those things that fall under the “everything Trump touches dies” category. Yes, he probably didn’t read the letter. Yes, he probably fired the captain, and the captain’s replacement. Because he’s Trump. He’s now turned things into a literal revolving door.

The Navy secretary resigned Tuesday in a mushrooming controversy over the firing of a popular aircraft carrier captain who warned about coronavirus endangering his sailors.

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly quit a day after he was recorded telling sailors on the virus-stricken USS Theodore Roosevelt that fired Capt. Brett Crozier was “either too stupid or too naive” to lead them.

Modly was left swinging in the wind after President Trump apparently reversed his previous support for the tone-deaf dismissal of Crozier.

The president slammed Modly’s blunt remarks as “rough” on Monday. Hours before Modly’s resignation, the president retweeted a prediction that he would soon “get involved” in Crozier’s ouster.

Modly issued a written apology late Monday but that failed to quell demands for his head.
https://www.nydailynews.com/coronavirus/ny-coronavirus-navy-captain-crozier-20200407-l3w4gf3dxzdnxhazyzke4y6lka-story.html

Yeah it’s just like that. So Trump fired Capt. Crozier, then he fired the Navy secretary, and he will most likely fire the acting Navy secretary. Because like I said, everything he touches dies. He’s the literal opposite of King Midas. But in case you’re wondering, if you think our hospitals are bad now, well, Navy hospitals really aren’t much better. In fact this might be a good topic for a future Top 10 Investigates.

The U.S. Navy generated glowing headlines and cheering crowds when deploying its hospital ships Mercy and Comfort to Los Angeles and New York City respectively. But the ships are both pushing 50 years old and need replacing, and what those replacements will look like is anything but certain.

Both ships were converted super-tankers designed for providing care for combat casualties. And while both ships have combat deployments under their belts during Operation Desert Storm and Operation Iraqi Freedom, they are far more frequently used for disaster relief and medical outreach missions across the globe.

During nearly 35 years of service, the distinctive white hulls and red crosses have become symbols of American soft power abroad and, occasionally, the symbol of the Defense Department pitching in at home. The Comfort was deployed during Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans and in 2017 to Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Both Mercy and Comfort today are providing emergency care in Los Angeles and New York to free up civilian hospitals to focus on COVID-19 patients.

But much like the bulk of the surge sealift fleet, the ships run on outdated steam plants that fewer and fewer mariners know how to operate and maintain. And, like classic cars, they need constant care and attention to keep in working order. In 2018, the Navy proposed decommissioning one of the ships in 2021, but was blocked by Congress.
https://www.defensenews.com/naval/2020/04/01/the-us-navys-hospital-ships-in-the-covid-19-fight-badly-need-replacing/

[font size="8"]Who’s Profiting From The Pandemic???
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By now everyone knows that the first case of the highly contagious and very deadly coronavirus was confirmed by the WHO on 12/31/19. And we know that in that length of time, Trump went golfing 6 times, held 3 fundraisers and also held 5 MAGA rallies. During that whole time he downplayed the true dangers of this deadly disease. And while we were being distracted, the Senate knew that it was coming, and what they did next will make your blood fucking boil. Guess what they did? They profited off the pandemic. Yes, they sold stocks that they knew were going to tank because of this thing, before the stock market went into a free fall. Hold your boos.

Four senators sold stocks shortly after a January briefing in the Senate on the novel coronavirus outbreak, unloading shares that plummeted in value a month later as the stock market crashed in the face of a global pandemic.

According to financial disclosure forms, Sens. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.), James Inhofe (R-Okla.), Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Richard Burr (R-N.C.) each sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in stocks within days of the Senate holding a classified briefing on Jan. 24 with Trump administration officials on the threat of the coronavirus outbreak.

The sales raise questions about whether the senators violated the STOCK Act, a law that bans members of Congress from making financial trades based on nonpublic information.

Loeffler and her husband, who is the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, sold at least $355,000 in stocks from Jan. 24-31, according to Senate records, after the coronavirus briefing hosted by the Senate Health and Foreign Relations committees.
https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/488593-four-senators-sold-stocks-before-coronavirus-threat-crashed-market

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Normally this would be a number one entry in the Top 10 any other week but in this world that’s been upended by the virus, this gets bumped to number 4! I mean there’s no way that anyone involved in this should get a “get out of jail free” card. While we’re scrambling to find supplies, these monsters profited. And they should not be allowed to get away with it!

Senator Richard Burr has called for an ethics investigation into himself and three other senators who sold off stock after receiving classified briefings on the coronavirus threat.

Burr—a North Carolina Republican who is chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee—sold up to $1.72 million in stock through Feb. 13, shortly before reassuring the public that the government had a handle on the coronavirus response. A week later, the S&P 500 Index started what would become a 30% drop, wiping out most gains made since President Donald Trump's inauguration.

In a tweet on Friday, Burr denied any wrongdoing, saying that he “relied solely on public news reports” to inform his decisions.

Here’s how well those stocks performed after he sold them.

Another senator under scrutiny, Georgia Republican Kelly Loeffler, sold off millions of dollars worth of stock beginning on Jan. 24, the day the health committee she sits on was briefed by U.S. public-health officials.
https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2020-senators-dump-stocks-coronavirus-crash/

You got that right sir! This is unquestionably what one might call a “dick move”. And it’s such a dick move that they knew this was coming and rather than sound they alarm, they opened up their wallets because, why not? This is America!! This is huge, and this is certainly one of the most evil, egregious acts that has ever happened. Crap, they put Martha Stewart away for less than this! Just how bad is this whole thing? Well it gets worse!

Sen. Kelly Loeffler of Georgia and her husband, Intercontinental Exchange Chairman Jeff Sprecher, disclosed additional stock trades as they faced criticism for dumping shares before the market plummeted over the coronavirus crisis, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported on Tuesday.

Last month, both Loeffler and Sprecher, who is also the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, came under scrutiny for selling hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock before the market's drop.

The Daily Beast reported last month that after she attended a January 24 closed-door US Senate briefing on the COVID-19 outbreak, Loeffler sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in shares of Resideo Technologies, Comcast, AutoZone, and more before the decline and also bought up shares in Citrix, a company that makes telecommuting software.

On Tuesday, The Journal-Constitution reported that newly disclosed stock transactions from early March involved the sale of retail stocks, which have seen a sharp decline as the industry suffers from the outbreak. Loeffler sold over $70,000 in shares of the retailer Ross on March 4 and 5; $27,000 in shares of TJX Cos., the parent company of TJ Maxx; and over $56,000 in shares of Lululemon, a popular athleisure clothing brand.
https://www.businessinsider.com/sen-loeffler-dumped-more-retail-stock-in-new-disclosures-coronavirus-2020-4

I wouldn’t go that far, but considering over twice as many people have died from this wretched virus as have died in 9/11, it’s not that far of a stretch. So we know that four senators have made untold money on this deadly pandemic. Not only did they dump retail stocks, it gets worse! They also dumped travel stocks because they knew a travel ban is coming. These are people who are going to have to answer for their crimes.

Senator Kelly Loeffler sold a total of $46,027 worth of stock in an online travel company in the day leading up to President Donald Trump’s announcement of a ban on most European travel to the U.S.

Though the transactions were relatively small for Loeffler and her husband -- whose net worth is estimated at more than $500 million -- the sales represented an about-face.

Loeffler, a Georgia Republican, had just days earlier purchased the shares, in Booking Holdings, jointly with her husband, Jeffrey Sprecher, the chief executive officer of Intercontinental Exchange, parent firm of the New York Stock Exchange

Booking Holdings provides online bookings for flights, hotels and other travel-related services, all of which have collapsed because of the Covid-19 pandemic.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-03/georgia-senator-loeffler-did-quick-dump-of-travel-company-stock

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Zantac Recall
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Drugs. We need them now more than ever in the day and age of a killer virus roaming the landscape. In this time though, a recall of a major drug used to fight heartburn isn’t exactly the headlines that we need to hear right now. But your heartburn medication along with a whole bunch of other ones might be contaminated. How did this happen and who allowed it to happen? Well in the case where the cure might be worse than the disease, you can always count on the American FDA to produce a recall of the drug when we most need it. And for how long has this been going on? Well, you might very well be at risk if you require this medication.

(CNN)The US Food and Drug Administration is requesting that manufacturers pull all prescription and over-the-counter ranitidine drugs, known by the brand name Zantac, from the market immediately, the agency announced on Wednesday.

The FDA noted that an ongoing investigation has determined that levels of a contaminant in the heartburn medications increase over time and when stored at higher-than-normal temperatures, pose a risk to public health.

The contaminant, N-nitrosodimethylamine or NDMA, is a probable human carcinogen and the FDA has been investigating levels of it in ranitidine since the summer of 2019.

"We didn't observe unacceptable levels of NDMA in many of the samples that we tested," Dr. Janet Woodcock, director of the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, said in Wednesday's announcement.

"However, since we don't know how or for how long the product might have been stored, we decided that it should not be available to consumers and patients unless its quality can be assured," Woodcock said in part. "The FDA will continue our efforts to ensure impurities in other drugs do not exceed acceptable limits so that patients can continue taking medicines without concern."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/01/health/zantac-fda-remove-from-market-bn/index.html

No this drug doesn’t do that unfortunately. It treats heartburn and that’s about it. And that’s part of what fears about a coronavirus cure could bring – the risk of contamination. So why is the NDMA so important in these drugs? Well in the day and age of a deadly disease, you don’t want to risk getting further contaminated with anything because that could end really badly for you. But it is good that they caught it before it got really bad.

New Haven, Connecticut-based Valisure said the FDA should recall Sanofi’s Zantac and all other ranitidine products “to protect the American public from further exposure to the potentially carcinogenic properties of Ranitidine,” according to the petition, which was posted to a federal website Wednesday.

Then, in early January, another lab, Emery Pharma, filed its own citizen petition informing the FDA that its testing determined the level of the suspected carcinogen NDMA can increase if the drug is exposed to high heat, even after it has been packaged.

"Our preliminary data indicate that NDMA accumulates in ranitidine-containing drug products on exposure to elevated temperatures, which would be routinely reached during shipment and during storage. More importantly, these conditions occur post-lot release by the manufacturer. Hence, while NDMA levels in ranitidine may be acceptable at the source, they may not be so when the drug is purchased and subsequently at the time of consumption by the consumer," the petition says.

In a statement today, Valisure CEO David Light said, "Very glad that Valisure's laboratory testing has had such an impact and we strongly support and applaud FDA's decision to remove all ranitidine products from the market,"
https://www.fiercepharma.com/manufacturing/zantac-and-generics-ordered-off-market-by-fda-as-find-it-a-ticking-time-bomb

That might be one of the side effects of that drug, actually! So as far as drugs go, this highlights the need to test them regularly for impurities and imperfections. But we also need a world where you can take a drug without worrying about the horrifying side effects. Much like the pharmaceutical ads where they spend most of the time talking about said side effects. But really this highlights a potentially broken part of our healthcare system that needs to be fixed.

Thanks to decades of regulatory oversight and pharmacovigilance, we tend to take for granted the quality and safety of our most used medicines. Sometimes, though, the challenges and complexities of ensuring this peace of mind are thrown into the spotlight. Recently, potentially carcinogenic nitrosamine impurities were found to be present in commercially available drug products. This discovery, and the measures taken to quickly mitigate any risks, highlight the role of advancing analytical technology in safeguarding consumer health.

In September 2019, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) reported unacceptable levels of N-nitrosodimethylamine (NDMA), a probable human carcinogen, in several batches of the heartburn medication ranitidine (Zantac) [1], which prompted a large-scale product recall. Coming little over a year after similar findings triggered a recall of batches of the angiotensin II receptor blocker (ARB) valsartan [2], the ranitidine results meant an increased focus on this impurity, its risks and, in particular, its detection. One outcome has been the adoption of novel analytical methods developed using the latest high-resolution accurate mass (HRAM) mass spectrometry techniques, which are helping overcome some of the limitations of previous approaches to nitrosamine detection.

Certain pharmaceutical manufacturing processes can result in the production of genotoxic impurities (GTIs), such as NDMA and other nitrosamines, many of which are potentially carcinogenic, even at low levels. Consequently, regulatory authorities closely monitor drug products for these compounds.

Documentation from the European Medicines Agency (EMA) highlights potential sources of nitrosamine formation and contamination in ARB drugs [3]. These include specific active pharmaceutical ingredient (API) processing conditions and materials, the use of sodium and other nitrites in the presence of secondary or tertiary amines, and the inclusion of contaminated raw materials in API production. Of note is the significant challenge posed by vendor-sourced raw and starting materials, particularly because an API manufacturer whose own process is incapable of producing nitrosamines may be unaware of the risk of such impurities being present.
https://www.technologynetworks.com/analysis/articles/zantac-recalls-highlight-the-need-to-screen-and-quantify-impurities-with-confidence-331998

Well it’s not weed but if you take Zantac and you need it, what are the alternatives? For one thing, remain calm. There’s plenty of heartburn medication alternatives out there, and you don’t need a commercial from Larry The Cable Guy to tell you which one to take. If you’ve been taking Zantac, then there’s plenty of other ways you can get what you need when you need it.

“As a result of this immediate market withdrawal request, ranitidine products will not be available for new or existing prescriptions or OTC use in the U.S.,” the FDA concluded.
So, what should you do if you’ve been taking Zantac?

First, don’t freak out. Experts don’t know what this means at this point. “I have been giving this medication for the last 30 years and I have not seen anything concerning—but you cannot be sure,” says Ashkan Farhadi, M.D., a gastroenterologist at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, Calif. He points out that, as of now, there are no reports of any cancer cases related to Zantac use.

Still, that’s not a risk you want to take. If you have a box of the medication at home, the FDA recommends that you safely dispose of it. (They have steps on how to do this online.)

If you’ve taken Zantac here and there, it’s probably not something you should be concerned about, says Robert Weber, Pharm.D., pharmacy administrator at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Even if you’ve been a heavy user of the medication, it’s still unclear what, exactly, that could mean for your overall health, Dr. Farhadi says. “This is just hypothetical at this point,” he says.
https://www.prevention.com/health/a32033640/best-zantac-alternatives/

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

My fair congregation! We are conducting yet another online meeting since we cannot convene in the holy temple! The Holy Church is currently closed so we’re going virtual until it is safe to convene in the Holy Church again. That said, a lot of our brothers and sisters on the right still refuse to take this thing seriously. So much in fact that there’s one guy in Pennsylvania who is planning to take the anti-quarantine to the next level. In fact he is going to do the opposite of a quarantine and hold a giant gathering with all the things that the modern Christian loves! But did anyone ever stop to tell him that this is a really bad idea?

A Pittsburgh area pastor says he plans to organize a large, Woodstock-like outdoor Easter service to protest the stay-at-home orders amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

Conservative Christian Pastor Jonathan Shuttlesworth made the announcement on social media after the arrests of pastors in the U.S. for failing to comply with state-at-home orders.

“How do you lay hands on people online? How do you baptize people online? How do you anoint with oil and lay hands on the sick?” he asked.

He said the government is infringing on the rights of people to assemble for religion.

He said the large outdoor gathering will be “like Woodstock.”
https://fox8.com/news/pennsylvania-pastor-blasts-coronavirus-orders-plans-outdoor-service-like-woodstock/

Now I hope Mr. Shuttlesworth will be visited by the 3 spirits during the night to tell him why this is a bad idea, but then again I am reminded that is a work of fiction and not in any way grounded in reality! So instead I will do that. Because in the time of the great pandemic, we need to be reminded of why this is a terrible idea! And that is if a group of us gets this terrible virus, then it will set off a chain in which a lot of us will get sick and die as a result! And that’s not something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it?

On Sunday, the pastor of Cross Culture Christian Center in Lodi, Calif., was greeted by several police officers in the parking lot about an hour before he intended to hold an in-person service despite coronavirus restrictions.

Pastor Jon Duncan, whose small evangelical church leases space in Bethel Open Bible Church, arrived Sunday morning, Palm Sunday, to find that Bethel, which stopped having in-person services on March 15, had changed the locks on the building to prevent his congregants from entering, Lodi Police Lt. Michael Manetti told The Times.

Duncan had continued to hold in-person services for Cross Culture Christian Center amid the coronavirus outbreak.

“We’re going to meet as often as we can meet, and we do believe that this right is protected by the 1st Amendment and should be considered essential,” Duncan said in an interview with KTXL-TV last week.
https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-04-05/pastor-who-refuses-to-cancel-sunday-services-greeted-by-police

Yeah but not that badly, miss! In fact that’s just one congregation, and I am not in the least surprised that it’s Bethel! But they are not the only ones that are defying what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? So death or church? That is the decision that we must make in this trying time. But when JAYSUS would make a sacrifice for the greater good, it appears his fellow evangelicals… are not willing to do the same!

HAMMOND — Police ticketed a church and its elders Sunday for refusing to disperse their congregation to comply with Gov. Eric Holcomb's "shelter in place" order, Mayor Thomas McDermott said.

More than 30 parishioners were inside The Church of Christ, which occupies a small building at 169th and Leland streets in Hammond, and more were pulling up in the parking lot when officers arrived about 9:50 a.m., he said.

Some of the worshipers wore masks, but others did not, McDermott said.

Holcomb issued a "stay at home" order that took effect March 24 in response to the global coronavirus pandemic. The directive prohibits public gatherings of more than 10 people and orders all Hoosiers to stay home unless traveling for activities deemed essential.

According to data released Sunday by the state, the virus has killed more than 125 people in Indiana and sickened more than 4,400. More than 335,000 confirmed cases have been reported across the U.S., according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University.
https://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/update-police-ticket-church-leaders-after-they-refuse-to-disperse-sunday-service-of-more-than/article_9d26619f-955b-5a69-b87b-f47d01effb38.html

Yes but do we need JAYSUS that badly sir? Everything can wait right now, the only thing should be getting rid of this most wicked of viruses! But if you want to see the dire consequences of your actions, I know everyone is tense and not getting social interaction right now. Before you go attending Pastor Shuttlesworth’s convention there’s something that you should know before hand – if you go to church right now, you’ll probably get it. I’m just saying it happens!

Nearly a third of Sacramento County’s coronavirus cases are connected to churches, officials said Wednesday, a discovery this week that has prompted alarmed county officials to issue a special plea for congregations to stop holding services and prayer groups.

County health chief Dr. Peter Beilenson said his office is asking congregations to hold services and fellowship meetings via Zoom, Skype or some other virtual platform - but not in person.

Speaking Wednesday morning, Beilenson said more than 100 of the county’s 314 cases of coronavirus infections are connected to church groups.

That includes 24 infections spread among one church whose congregants have continued to hold in-person fellowship meetings during the growing pandemic. Beilenson declined to name the church.

Another church, Faith Presbyterian Church in Sacramento, has had two parishioners die from the virus and a total of five people test positive for the virus. But church officials note that they halted in-person church services after March 8 and fully shut down their buildings on March 12, one full week before Sacramento County officials issued a shelter-in-place order.
https://www.sacbee.com/news/coronavirus/article241683631.html

Yes, the devil walks among us, and until we rid ourselves of the devil virus, expect this to keep happening over and over! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots: Suing Your Parody Account
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OK, MAGAs and Trump fans, let me teach you a little something about comedy. Because we’re here to educate as well as entertain. And look, we’re all stuck at home during this Great Quarantine. And nobody likes it. We’re all bored as shit. Netflix can only get you so far. But here’s the thing I want to tell you – if you can dish it out, you’d better damn well be prepared to take it. Because if you can’t take it, then who’s the real snowflake in that picture? Hint: It’s you!!! Now there’s a couple of incidents of this. The first is the Twitter parody account made famous by John Oliver – Devin Nunes’ Cow (@devincow). And we will get to that in a minute. The other right now is the 90s alternative metal band Trapt, who recently went full MAGA on a group of trolls. And you don’t go full MAGA or it will end badly for you.

Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown has now been taking on haters via Twitter for over two weeks. The latest installment of the social media epic features a Trapt parody account, which Brown has now threatened to sue.

Initially, Brown responded to actor Chris Evans on Twitter after he criticized one of President Trump’s press conferences on coronavirus. Along with defending Trump’s handling of the coronavirus epidemic and the president’s use of the term “Chinese virus,” Brown has been stating that white privilege doesn’t exist while defending himself against Twitter users labeling him as racist and xenophobic.

After online fights with over a dozen rock and metal bands, a Trapt parody account appeared, which at first, was almost indistinguishable from the official @TRAPTOFFICIAL account. Instead, the second ‘I’ in “OFFICIAL” was replaced with a lowercase L, leaving the lack of a verified check mark as the only noticeable different between the official and parody Trapt pages.

Brown eventually noticed the account and threatened to sue the mystery tweeter:

It’s not going to be hard to find out who you are and sue you... You know that right? Screenshots of the whole thing. In order to violate our impersonation policy, the account must portray another entity in a misleading or deceptive manner. Many tweets u sent have done this. Bye
https://loudwire.com/trapt-frontman-threatens-sue-parody-twitter-account/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral

Yeah you can dish it out but you sure can’t take it! Now here’s where this whole thing gets weird, and you knew it was going to. Because in the day and age of coronavirus, where there’s uncertaintly, angst and anxiety in everyone, everywhere, you got to latch on to whatever entertainment you can get your hands on. But I do love that the people who take things to the next level.

A parody Twitter account surfaced recently amid a string of Twitter-beefs that Trapt’s official account engaged in. In the span of just a few days, Trapt had spats with Captain America’s Chris Evans, Chris Fronzak of Attila, Tilian Pearson of Dance Gavin Dance, Telle Smith of the Word Alive, I Prevail, and Silent Planet.

The beef first started after Evans called out President Trump for his handling of the coronavirus. Trapt’s official account tweeted that Trump’s actions are the only reason the pandemic isn’t worse.

The argument-by-tweet then turned into a spat of who was more relevant and who made more money. In the end, Fronzak tweeted how “amazing” it was to see Trapt get “bodied by Warped Tour Twitter.”

Then, fans and bands saw a tweet from the Trapt parody account saying that the posers would not be able to play their iconic hit, “Headstrong.” The tweet also said the band itself couldn’t play the song since they have not “played a real guitar on stage since George W Bush was [president].”

This new parody poster features Trapt and three of the bands who were involved in the Twitter beef—I Prevail, Silent Planet and the Word Alive—as supporting acts. At present, it is unclear who originally made the poster as it makes the rounds on Twitter.
https://www.altpress.com/news/trapt-tour-parody-twitter/

Yup, see you in court! Now you would think that Mr. Brown would be alone in suing his parody account, but nope, he is definitely not the only one! Let’s now switch subjects and talk about our old buddy Devin Nunes. Remember when he sued the Twitter handle called “Devin Nunes Cow “ (@devincow)? Well, let’s check in and see how that is going! Really, Devin’s ego should be last on our list of things to worry about right now.

Twitter in a new court filing argues that California Republican Rep. Devin Nunes cannot sue the social media company over disparaging remarks made by anonymous writers because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users.

The document represents Twitter’s second attempt to ask a Virginia judge to dismiss the defamation case Nunes, R-Tulare, filed last year against the San Francisco company along with Republican political strategist Liz Mair and two anonymous writers who heckle the congressman online under the personas of his mother and his cow.

Previously, Twitter argued it could not be sued in Virginia because Nunes accepted a user agreement that directs lawsuits against the company to California courts, and because any political harm Nunes might have suffered because of online criticism would have occurred in his San Joaquin Valley district.

A judge in the Richmond-based court ruled against that motion in October, finding that Mair lived in Virginia when she posted tweets about Nunes.

In the new motion filed Wednesday, Twitter said Nunes’ claims that Twitter had neglected to take action against users who he says defamed him contradicted a law that protects companies like Twitter from liability in cases just like this.
https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article239581033.html

Yeah so if you’re caught in a lawsuit like this, you can use this as your defense, and it is directly mocking you. Because hey, a cow doesn’t have opposable thumbs and can’t use Twitter. Devin Nunes doesn’t have a soul and therefore can’t be a real person. Can he? I don’t know, I am just speculating. But here’s the thing – if you sue your own parody account, the real joke is you. Because you clearly can’t take one as much as you can dish it out. Just ask Devin Nunes or that Trapt guy.

Twitter has filed a new motion to dismiss a $250 million lawsuit by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) against the company and two parody Twitter accounts that mocked him.

Nunes sued Twitter and @DevinCow and @DevinNunesMom (now suspended) last year, claiming Twitter failed to take action against comments he claimed defamed him. His lawsuit triggered an explosion in the number of followers of the parody accounts.

Twitter argued in a new court filing Wednesday that Nunes can’t sue the social media company for remarks in the parody accounts because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users, The Fresno Bee reported.

“Congress granted providers of online platforms like Twitter broad immunity from claims that seek to hold them liable for harms caused by defamatory or otherwise harmful content that appeared on the provider’s platform but were created by third parties,” the motion to dismiss says.

Nunes argued in his suit last year that Twitter limits conservative viewpoints on its platform due to bias.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/devin-nunes-twitter-cow-parody-lawsuit_n_5e2ba64ac5b6779e9c32dc9a

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to Conspiracy Corner – the segment where you can nurture your tin foil hat and go full truther if your heart so desires! Well in the time of the Great Pandemic, naturally, there’s going to be conspiracies. Last week we talked about the bizarre theory that celebrities are purposefully using a tainted batch of adrenochrome, a drug used to treat mental illness, as a way of purposefully getting COVID-19. And if that sentence makes absolutely no sense, you’re not alone. This week, conservative conspiracy theorists have gone so far as to film their local hospitals. In yet another move that makes absolutely no sense.

Even in the midst of a global pandemic, conspiracy theorists will find a way to spread disinformation.

Their latest antic involves taking pictures and videos of hospitals in an effort to “prove” that coronavirus is a hoax.

The theory appears to stem from the mistaken belief that hospital waiting rooms and parking lots appear empty because the virus isn’t either real or as serious as people are being told.

In reality, there are fewer cars and people because visitation and elective procedures have been canceled to slow the spread of coronavirus. Further, medical facilities are taking great care to separate coronavirus patients from those without the disease.

Taking photos at medical facilities can also violate federal patient privacy rights. And it’s extremely ill-advised to go to a coronavirus hot zone like a hospital.
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/coronavirus-conspiracy-theory-film-your-hospital/

See here’s the thing morons, there’s a book I would suggest reading called “The Hot Zone” which was about a pandemic exactly like what we’re experiencing. The real chaos is happening inside the hospital and they’ve restricted visitors and access. And when there’s a highly contagious disease roaming the landscape, they are currently places you do not want to go! And you most definitely don’t want to listen to people like this for advice!

DeAnna Lorraine, a right-wing activist who unsuccessfully ran in the Mar. 3 California primary to challenge House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, is now pushing new conspiracy theories about COVID-19, promoting the hashtags #coronavirustruth and #filmyourhospital.

On Sunday, Lorraine filmed outside two hospitals in Los Angeles and found them quiet—which she took as a sign that the hospitals and mainstream media are engaged in a hoax, rather than a simpler alternative explanation, which is that hospitals aren’t allowing any visitors to try to protect their patients and prevent further spread of the virus.

“Let’s get #FilmYourHospital trending,” Lorraine tweeted Sunday afternoon. As of early Monday morning, that message had been retweeted more than 15,000 times and people were taking her up on the challenge, filming quiet hospital parking lots as if they were revealing yet another mainstream media plot. The hashtag has also attracted outrage from medical professionals and others who are warning that this kind of disinformation is threatening people’s lives.

Lorraine was back at it on Monday morning, tweeting messages like “I’m sure we would all like the actual #Coronavirustruth” and “How many people do you personally know with #COVID19.” She asserted that, “The FDA has never been interested in cures or safety.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/failed-congressional-candidate-deanna-lorraines-new-crusade-coronavirus-conspiracy-theories/

You got that right! But this is why you should never listen to truthers – they are actually full of some pure grade A bullshit! There’s nothing to joke about the current situation that we are all in, and harassing doctors is counter productive. I know, my brother is one. And guess what? They don’t have time for your bullshit! So don’t do this people. Really, just stay the fuck out of it.

As of early Tuesday morning, March 31, the coronavirus pandemic had killed more than 39,000 people worldwide (according to the Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore). But that figure might pale in comparison to what lies ahead: Dr. Anthony Fauci, a key member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus take force, told CNN’s John Berman this week that he “would not be surprised if we saw 100,000 deaths” from COVID-19 in the United States alone in the months ahead — and that’s with aggressive social distancing measures in place. Yet despite all the deaths that coronavirus has inflicted and will continue to inflict, some far-right media figures continue to insist people are exaggerating the impact of the pandemic. And Will Sommer, in an article for the Daily Beast, takes a look at some of the idiotic tactics of coronavirus truthers.

“Right-wing figures eager to downplay the coronavirus pandemic’s death toll have hit on a new idea: filming quiet hospital parking lots,” Sommer explains. “Over the weekend, a growing number of pro-Trump personalities decided that the way to prove that the media was overhyping the pandemic was to film places where cars and ambulances show up to drop patients off. If the entrances were quiet and the parking lots mostly empty, they claimed, that was proof that the coronavirus’ effects had been overstated.”

Coronavirus truthers have become a cottage industry on the far right — not unlike birthers (conspiracy nuts who claimed that President Barack Obama wasn’t really born in the U.S.) and 9/11 truthers (those who claimed that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were a hoax).
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/coronavirus-truthers-have-been-filming-quiet-hospital-parking-lots-in-an-attempt-to-downplay-the-covid-19-death-toll/

So whether it’s Coronavirus truthers or 9/11 truthers or flat earthers, or anti-gravity fliers, they’re all the same brand of crazy with a different pattern on the cloth. But here’s the thing – you do not want to listen to the conspiracy theorists on literally any subject, because they will almost certainly be wrong. In this case, you have to respect and trust the experts. Like Dr. Fauci, you cannot ignore t this man, and Trump is literally going out of his way to do so.

During a YouTube livestream last Friday, right-wing pastor Curt Landry told his viewers that they should listen to President Donald Trump and not medical experts when it comes to the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak because Trump was chosen by God and therefore has greater spiritual authority.

“We are in a small window of time where we need to be decreeing, praying, believing, and speaking it out of our mouths—critical at this time—speaking out of our mouths and agreeing with what Donald Trump is saying and not some of his advisers,” Landry said.

Landry, who last week declared that any eventual coronavirus vaccine would be “from the pit of Hell” and should not be taken, said that while he respects the nation’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, Trump outranks him spiritually and so Christians should be listening to the president rather than doctors and other health experts.

“I’m talking to you spiritually,” Landry said. “I am not a scientist, I am not a doctor, and I do respect [Fauci’s] knowledge, I respect where he comes from, and I respect him in his position that God has put him in. But in the order of spiritual alignment, Donald J. Trump is the Cyrus above him … As believers, we need to agree—I believe that God puts kings and leaders in their place, I believe God has put Donald Trump in his place as a Cyrus—and we need to agree with what he’s saying.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/curt-landry-says-christians-must-listen-to-trump-not-experts-about-the-coronavirus/

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Crimes Of The Virus
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Hey everyone, we’re cooped at home during the Great Quarantine, and I have never needed a drink more!

You know this segment is usually reserved for when the news gets too dark. And boy has it got dark lately. There’s nothing we can say or do on this segment that will make people feel better. And on this show, it’s usually funnier when I’m plastered in front of a live audience. We can’t replicate that here but we can at least try to cheer you up. So that said, New Jersey might be the new Florida. And in this time of the Great Quarantine, when you can’t leave me house, we need more of this in our lives don’t we? I am also proud to announce that my bartender has been declared an essential business, so we can have some booze! Tell me bartender, what goes well with quarantine? A quarantine cocktail? No thanks, I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Here’s the thing, it’s getting weird with the virus. And we are going to chronicle some of the stranger things going on in this one. Starting with:

Piscataway police have charged four people with violating Gov. Phil Murphy's emergency orders, according to the Office of the Attorney General.

Police charged Yu Han, 20, Xiaonuo Shi, 18, Chenyu Yang, 19, and Roukai Wang, 19, Friday with disorderly persons offenses for violating the emergency orders and criminal mischief for allegedly drag racing and doing donuts in a school parking lot.

Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal urged the public and business owners to comply with the governor’s emergency orders — not only to keep themselves and others healthy, but to avoid creating more work and risks for hard-pressed law enforcement officers.

He warned that those who fail to comply will be held accountable, citing numerous cases where charges have been filed for violations of the orders or other offenses related to the coronavirus.

“Our police officers are going above and beyond the call of duty during this health crisis. Unfortunately, they are being called upon far too often to deal with people violating the orders put in place to protect us all— or what is more egregious, people falsely using the coronavirus to spread fear or impede officers in their vital work,” Grewal said.
https://www.mycentraljersey.com/story/news/crime/2020/03/28/coronavirus-piscataway-police-charge-four-violating-emergency-order-drag-racing/2934483001/

Thanks I needed that! That goes without saying though, we are indoors all day and we are bored out of our minds. But don’t go doing something fucking stupid like doing donuts in a parking lot. Or launch a Molotov cocktail. Well the Molotov Cocktail is generally a bad idea to begin with. But you definitely know that things are going south when someone starts stuffing rags into a bottle of booze and lighting it on fire!

A man hosting a house party where more than 30 guests were in attendance and filming videos to post on YouTube.

A rabbi hosting a party for 25 young students at the all-boys school where he is headmaster.

Four people holding weddings.

A woman who allegedly threw a Molotov cocktail at her boyfriend's house.

They're among the latest people in New Jersey to be charged, in some cases among other offenses, with violating the state's emergency orders designed to stop the spread of the coronavirus.

“Staying home and maintaining social distance is not just good advice to stay healthy — it’s the law," state Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal said in a statement Friday. "Make no mistake, we will do what it takes to keep our residents and police officers safe, and that means we won’t hesitate to file criminal charges against those who violate the emergency orders.”
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/davidmack/new-jersey-coronavirus-arrests-charges

Yeah people, in the time of the virus, when we’re all considered biological weapons, don’t do anything fucking stupid. And things like this are why this thing is going to get dragged out months instead of weeks, and we all want this gone sooner than later! And the thing is now in this day and age, you can get arrested for the mere act of coughing. Yes, coughing is now a crime.

An individual who spits or coughs on a member of law enforcement will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Erie County District Attorney John J. Flynn announced Monday.

The announcement follows multiple incidents reported by law enforcement throughout Erie County in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Flynn said potential charges may include attempted assault in the second degree, a class “E” felony, menacing in the third degree, a class “B” misdemeanor, and harassment in the second degree, a violation.

Additionally, if the alleged incident occurred within a correctional facility, the individual could be charged with aggravated harassment in the second degree, a class “E” felony.

A person could face a maximum 4 years in prison, if convicted of the felony charges.
https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nys/buffalo/coronavirus/2020/04/06/erie-county-to-prosecute-alleged-incidents-of-spitting--coughing-at-law-enforcement-during-pandemic-

So here’s the scary truth people – as long as coronavirus is a thing, we’re all biological weapons, and we’re all sitting ducks as a result. So don’t be like these douchebags. Really, just don’t. And if you do you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. Because they could very well be fatal, and you are not the only one who is going to suffer. If this is the hill you choose to die on, you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. And I’ll drink to that!

Rotterdam police have arrested a man after he claimed he had coronavirus, and proceeded to cough on multiple customers at a Capital Region Walmart!

Police say that 23-year-old Marvin Herring was inside the Walmart located on Altamont Avenue, where he stated he has COVID-19 and was intentionally coughing on multiple customers.

The Brooklyn native was arrested around 7:40 PM on Tuesday evening. Herring is charged with one count of felony marking a terroristic threat, and one county of third degree misdemeanor menacing.

Herring was turned over to the Schenectady County Sheriff's Department, where it was discovered he was the subject of an active warrant from NYPD for felony first degree robbery.

The Rotterdam Police Department says they are following all CDC protocols for potential exposures.
https://cbs6albany.com/news/coronavirus/man-arrested-accused-of-claiming-to-have-coronavirus-intentionally-coughing-on-customers

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 4
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! We are just one short round away from the Elite 8! We are here at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans where an electrified crowd is on their feet as the Elite 8 is shaping up. This week, it’s the final round of week 1 as the remaining two matches will duke it out for the chance to advance while the loser goes home! This week, it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina, while over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana! It’s god and crazy in the final round of week 1!

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

The Gem State is back for another go round. Boise State may be the home of the famous blue football field that’s somehow ironically visible from space. It’s one of the things that make Idaho uniquely Idaho, and is so batshit crazy that birds often mistake it for a body of water and will fly into it. But what other batshit crazy things has the Gem State got themselves into? Of course before COVID-19 upended life as we know it, Idaho has of course Boise State. And then of course with Boise State comes the toxic frat environments that universities are known for these days.

Boise State University is suspending official recognition of a campus fraternity after “more than two years” of repeated violations of university policies and the Student Code of Conduct.

The Office of the Dean of Students issued the five-year suspension for Pi Kappa Phi based on a recommendation by the university’s Conduct Hearing Board, according to a Monday afternoon press release.

“Consequences this severe do not come lightly or easily, but all members of our university community have a responsibility to each other to be respectful and safe,” said Christian Wuthrich, Boise State’s State dean of students.

Boise State hasn’t suspended a fraternity for this “significant length” of time since the 1960s, spokesman Greg Hahn told the Statesman. The university can issue a suspension for one egregious violation or a pattern of repeated violations, Hahn said, but there is no prescribed number of violations that triggers such punishment.

Read more: https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/education/boise-state-university/article241042431.html

Yeah! He’ll do one! Then of course you lie on the couch face down in a pool of your own vomit. Going on 3 days, and your employer will never call you back. I’m just saying it happens! But Idaho is so batshit crazy that even in the age of the Great Pandemic, their efforts to take 2/3 of rural Oregon have been upended by the beast known as the coronavirus. Yes, the virus has even hindered insane gun nuts.

The group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho is hoping Gov. Kate Brown’s statewide stay-at-home order won’t derail for long its newly launched signature-gathering effort in Josephine County. On March 12, the county gave its approval to circulate a petition backed by the group.

Chief petitioner Mike McCarter, a retired La Pine resident, says every day counts in the effort to get on the November ballot. “The people of eastern, central and southern Oregon can’t afford to be governed by a state that shows no regard for our livelihoods,” he said in a statement this week.

The small volunteer movement wants large swaths of Oregon to switch allegiance to Idaho. (It’s also targeting a few counties in northern California.) Along with Josephine County, Douglas and Umatilla counties have also approved petitions.

McCarter, the group’s president, says Oregon’s response to the coronavirus pandemic is a stark example of how Oregonians like him are being short-changed by the state.
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2020/03/effort-to-move-eastern-oregon-to-idaho-muffled-by-stay-at-home-order-coronavirus-response-further-divides-rural-urban-oregonians-petitioner-says.html

[font size="4"]South Carolina:[/font]

The Palmetto State is home to a guy who is widely regarded as one of the worst Senators in America, and that’s Lindsay Graham. Apart from being one of the first states in the union to secede during the Civil War, a combination of batshit insanity, Koch fueled economics, and megachurch religious mentality fuels South Carolina as a beacon of the south. So what else are they known for? Well, the Family Values crowd might be declaring South Carolina an LGBT-free zone! Yes, this is widely being considered a thing in 2020.

Last month, numerous outlets reported that one-third of Poland is now an “LGBT-free zone,” which means local municipalities have passed resolutions “against LGBT propaganda” and “pro-family.”

Now, believe it or not, voters in one U.S. county may decide whether to do effectively the same thing.

Joe Dill, a councilman in Greenville County, South Carolina, has introduced a proposed ballot measure that would allow voters to weigh in on an anti-gay resolution originally passed in 1996. The resolution states “that lifestyles advocated by the gay community should not be endorsed by government policy makers, because they are incompatible with the standards to which this community subscribes.”

The resolution also states that “the traditional family structure … has been proven to be the primary and best method for fostering a positive development in children” and “pledges not to fund those activities which seek to contravene these existing community standards.”

Read more: https://www.towleroad.com/2020/03/voters-may-decide-whether-to-declare-this-south-carolina-county-an-lgbt-free-zone-video/

You know really, we got more important things to worry about guys. Like I don’t know the fact that there’s a supervirus roaming the landscape turning us all into sitting ducks and frying our internal organs, that ring a bell? Oh yeah and you might want to look out because if this guy is an indicator of the caliber of person they’re looking for judicial positions, then we are fucked.

When South Carolina lawmakers confirmed a batch of new magistrates this year, one nominee stood out from the pack: Mike Pitts.

The former state House member had made a name for himself in Columbia as a staunch defender of the Confederate flag, and on Facebook he has penned anti-immigration screeds and used racially charged language. In May, for example, he posted a photo of New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker, an African American Democrat running for president. His caption: “Cory Booker alway [sic] looks like he just hit crack real hard.”

None of this, however, prompted any discussion in June, when the state Senate confirmed Pitts along with 33 other nominees for the lower courts.

Unlike South Carolina’s felony and appellate court judges, magistrates are not subjected to legislative hearings before lawmakers sign off on their appointments. In fact, there’s rarely any public debate at all. Nominations typically sail through the upper chamber with a single voice vote.

Read more: https://www.propublica.org/article/he-defended-the-confederate-flag-and-insulted-immigrants-now-hes-a-judge

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very close one here. Current score is 81 – 81 going into the final quarter with 8.5 seconds left… Idaho has the ball, they sink it… It’s good!!! 3 pointer at the buzzer! Oh my god, Idaho stuns South Carolina and they will move on to face Virginia. Final score 84 – 81.

[font size="4"]Ohio:[/font]

The Buckeye State. They are a long time purveyor of the Family Values Conference. They are home to such bustling, vibrant metropolises as Cincinatti, Cleveland, Dayton, and Colombus. But they’re also home to some of the biggest farm towns in the country. And with those farm towns comes rural insanity and some old school fire and brimstone religious values. So much that they overlook the biggest sex scandals in the state. Like the scandal at Ohio State University for instance.

Ohio State University was hit Wednesday with another lawsuit alleging that school officials and coaches failed to protect students and athletes from Richard Strauss, the deceased team doctor now accused of sexually assaulting hundreds of athletes and students.

“Dr. Richard Strauss is dead. He can’t pay for his crimes,” the lawsuit states. “Only his enabler is left.”

With this latest lawsuit, filed in Columbus, Ohio, by Pennsylvania-based attorney Joseph Sauder and five other law firms from around the country, the number of men who are suing Ohio State has climbed to around 350.

“The numbers don’t lie,” the suit states. “These men were repeatedly sexually abused by Strauss at different times, in different manners.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/new-lawsuit-ohio-state-sex-abuse-scandal-brings-number-victims-n1092891

Just remember kids, back in the day before there was a killer virus roaming the landscape, we had the sex scandal at Ohio State – in a town known for family values. And so much that they elected Jim Jordan to represent them.

[font size="4"]Indiana:[/font]

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

When we come back on the 22nd it’s Stupidest State Round 2 Week 1 and the road to the Final Four! This time it’s the Gun Nut Conference championships, from the home of the Minnesota Wild, Target Center in Minneapolis! The Elite 8 is set!

We are taking a short break next week, we will be back on April 22nd with a brand new edition and Stupidest State Round 2! See you in two weeks!

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

April 1, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-12: Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-12: Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well, another week down where we can’t go outside, how is everybody doing? You doing fucking good? Yeah us either. Sure, the Coronavirus is going to pass, but we don’t want anything stupid to happen in the meantime, which is why we’re staying home until it is safe to do so. But we can’t wait to reveal all the exciting things we have in store for season 9 as we approach what will hopefully be the end of the Donald J. Trump administration. And that includes our new home in Burbank. Yes, we left our good friends at the UCB Theater and are moving for greener pastures in Burbank, and we can’t wait to do a live show from there soon. We’ll reveal our tentative tour dates for the 9th season during our off day on April 15th, but I hope we can tour by then. You know I really want to find a silver lining in the news right now but it’s just so hard to do that. Usually here’s where we talk about some random, non-political nonsense before we delve into 10 solid entries of political nonsense. But there’s nothing going on during the Great Quarantine. Nothing. Come on, I’d kill for a good Florida Man story right now, but even he’s being isolated. But I’m sure that we will see some stories of some idiocy coming later down the pike. Just, god, we cannot wait until the great lockdown is over. Which we certainly hope is coming soon. OK enough of the intro, I’m rambling again. We have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the latest on everyone’s favorite subject:

So we’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future and that means that there’s no live music and no Wheel Of Corruption that we planned to do for this edition. And our live audience laughter and applause is going to be replaced with pre-recorded audience laughter and applause. So in the #1 slot this week is Donald Trump (1). Because he’s gloating about getting the stimulus package passed but what’s in it? We will expose the reality of who’s getting $2 TRILLION. In the number 2 slot this week is also Donald Trump (2). So he wants this all to be over by Easter so we can pack the churches. We will explain in (not shocking) detail why this plan is clinically insane. Taking the third slot this week is Mike Lindell (3), who you might know better as the MyPillow guy, and if you expect that he’s trying to help, well, let’s just hope that his masks aren’t the same quality as his pillows. In the number 4 slot this week, we’re adding Mississippi governor Tate Reeves (4) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected because he’s putting his whole state in jeopardy. At slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at some Coronavirus scamming, and yes, just like the virus itself, the scammers are spreading like wildfire, and you may need watch your inbox and phone calls very closely. At slot #6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week, why is Liberty University set on welcoming students back to campus? Is Jerry Falwell Jr insane? Probably. In the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). OK, Twitter, you know that inviting James Woods back on your service was a bad idea, so why did you do it? Take a time out and go sit in the corner. At slot #8 this week, we get to debut a new segment! This is called “Conspiracy Corner” and we’re going to tell you about the bizarre new drug of choice for Q Anon fans, and they might be on too much of it! At the number 9 (NEIN!!) we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week it's time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3! This week, it's a battle of #1s and #2s, as over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #1 Michigan takes on #2 Pennsylvania, while over in the Gun Nut Conference, #1 Oregon takes on perennial favorites #2 Florida! The Elite 8 is shaping up! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Stimulus Bill
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Remember back during the Bush years when they gave everybody a check for $300 as a way to stimulate the economy? Well if you don’t remember that, I would suggest watching a Futurama episode from 2003 called “Three Hundred Big Boys” in which the Planet Express crew spent their $300 refunds on some absolutely ridiculous items. Well, this Coronavirus stimulus bill is kind of like that. Except we’re all getting $1200. And your bosses are getting some unchecked, very loosely defined rules as to how they get their end of the pie. And this thing is shockingly evil if you read the fine print. Which is what we are here to do.

With the goal of blunting the financial effects of the coronavirus outbreak, the US government committed to a $2 trillion economic stimulus package that includes payments of up to $1,200 to US taxpayers. Checks may start to arrive in three weeks -- assuming you're eligible to receive a stimulus payment.

It's expected that roughly 9 of 10 households could receive a recovery rebate of some amount under the economic stimulus law, which also provides financial aid for businesses staggered by the virus, and expanded unemployment and student-loan assistance. But not everyone will receive the complete payment, and some won't receive a stimulus check at all.

Here's what we know about the individual and household coronavirus relief checks that are part of the federal package -- including finding out if you'll be eligible, how much you can expect to receive and how to receive your payments. We'll update this story as developments occur. (Here's how you should spend the money when you get it and how else you can get financial relief.)

The total amount of your stimulus check will be based on your adjusted gross income, or AGI, from your 2019 federal tax filing or -- if you've not filed this year yet -- your 2018 filing.
https://www.cnet.com/how-to/coronavirus-1200-stimulus-check-see-if-youre-eligible-and-how-much-youll-receive/

Yeah so some of you will be getting the check, some of you won’t. And for those of you who won’t, that will be because it will be at the expense of large corporations also wanting their fair share of the pie, which will mean that they will get it all and we will get peanuts. Shit, $1200 will barely cover the rent in some areas. But here’s why this isn’t the quick fix that many will think it is. And we all know how much Americans love their quick fixes.

A little less than three weeks ago, when the number of people infected with the COVID-19 virus began to spike, Mikael Laboy found himself in a tough spot. The 21-year-old’s job at a biotechnology company in Puerto Rico required him to work in close proximity to his coworkers, and he says his employer wasn’t taking enough precautions to keep them safe. Since he lives with his brother and sister-in-law, who is pregnant, he felt he couldn’t risk accidentally bringing the infection home. So he quit. “There’s people living in my household that I can’t put at risk,” he says.

It was a difficult decision and bills have been stacking up, but recently, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope. On March 27, President Trump signed a $2.2 trillion coronavirus stimulus package that includes the direct infusion of cash to the majority of Americans—including Laboy. The provision stipulates that any American with a Social Security number who isn’t considered someone else’s dependent and makes up to $75,000 will receive a payment of $1,200.

That means that Laboy, who says he has been struggling economically for three years, would catch a much-needed break. “I’ve been sleeping on the floor for years, being in houses with no furniture, beds, et cetera,” he says. “I’ve had weeks where I spend two or three days without eating just to stretch out the food as much as I can.” For him, the stimulus funds would be a game-changer.
https://time.com/5812750/stimulus-unbanked-checks-coronavirus/

Yeah that’s about what I would expect from the guy who uses the words “beautiful” and “tremendous” the way a Zappa-esque valley girl would use the phrase “like you know whatever”. Yeah OK that was a bit sexist and I do apologize for that. So that covers your average Joe Sixpack, but what does it mean for small business owners? Well they will see money but don’t expect it to last as long as you may need it.

It will take “a week or two" to get the PPP loans flowing, said Chris Maher president of New Jersey-based OceanFirst Bank.

He noted that the government has also injected $10 billion more into the federal Small Business Administration’ emergency loan program, making the loans easier to get. Those loans are ready at participating banks now. But they aren’t intended to be forgiven. “Don’t just grab a program,” he said. Borrowing from SBA too soon might make a customer ineligible for state programs and other alternatives.

“We’ve been on the phone with SBA — they’ve been great — but it’s still not 100 percent clear,” how soon the money will arrive, said Rodger Levenson chief executive of WSFS, the largest bank based in the Philadelphia area. “It will take a little time to come up with a process to handle this unprecedented volume of loans.”

Since banks are ready to lend and businesses have been banking more cash that they can use to reopen, Maher says, he expects coronavirus will be more like a terrible Shore hurricane, sharp and deadly, but leading to a faster recovery than a 2008-style Great Recession.
https://www.inquirer.com/business/small-business/sba-loans-business-coronavirus-20200331.html

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So that covers phase 3. What does phase 4 hold up? Well phase 4 is going to include things like infrastructure and more stimulus money. Because who knows how long this whole thing is supposed to go on for? We could be looking at months before this virus dies the horrible death it deserves. This is going to be a long and rocky road before we can put the Coronavirus behind us. And we personally cannot wait until that day.

Congressional lawmakers put the finishing touches on a $2 trillion stimulus bill to respond to the coronavirus pandemic, with cash and assistance for regular Americans, Main Street businesses and hard-hit airlines and manufacturers, among others.
The Senate passed the bill, 96-0, and the House is set to follow suit Friday.
CNN reporters read through the entire legislation. Here's a list of highlights:
Direct payments to individuals

Under the plan as it was being negotiated, single Americans would receive $1,200, married couples would get $2,400 and parents would see $500 for each child under age 17.
However, the payments would start to phase out for individuals with adjusted gross incomes of more than $75,000, and those making more than $99,000 would not qualify at all. The thresholds are doubled for couples.

Student loan payments suspended
The Department of Education would suspend payments on student loan borrowers without penalty through September 30, according to the bill.
CNN reported last week that the Department of Education was planning to allow student loan borrowers to suspend payments without penalty and accruing interest for at least 60 days.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/25/politics/stimulus-package-details-coronavirus/index.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So is the country really going to be reopen by Easter? Is it really? If you guessed “no”, you are… absolutely 100% correct! It won’t be Sunday Bloody Sunday. Instead it will be Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday, because if Trump’s plan went through, a lot of people could die. This thing seems to get worse by the day and our president currently has his head stuck up his big, fat ass. Well here’s the thing – the Coronavirus is not going away anytime soon, whether we want it to or not. But Trump is having some completely unrealistic expectations about what he expects the virus is going to do. And here’s the thing – there’s a million projection models out there, and none of them are good. And there’s not a whole lot we can do to make fun of the situation at hand, so we won’t try.

President Donald Trump's predictions that victory is close in the coronavirus crisis are becoming increasingly impossible to square with the harrowing escalation of America's battle against the pandemic.

Trump on Tuesday spied "light at the end of the tunnel" and envisioned packed church pews at Easter as America breaks free of stay-at-home orders and marks the return of its "raring to go" economy.
"I thought it was a beautiful time. A beautiful timeline," the President said Tuesday, making clear that his target date to open the nation by April 12 -- less than three weeks away -- was driven by sentiment and symbolism, not medical data on the virus's fast-tightening grip on the nation.

Anyone can empathize with the President's desire to crank back an economy that has probably already shed millions of jobs and left many Americans wondering how long they can survive without wages. But Trump has political motives too: he needs a swift rebound since the economy's long winning streak represented his best argument for reelection.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/25/politics/donald-trump-coronavirus/index.html

That is not a joke, by the way. that is an actual, unaltered, unedited picture from last year’s White House Easter Egg roll. And you actually have to feel sorry for the Easter Bunny in that picture. He’s probably saying “FML”. Is there anything that he doesn’t make weird or creepy? No. At the very least there is a silver lining here, because this year, we won’t be subjected to creepy Easter Bunny photos.

First lady Melania Trump regretfully announced Monday that the venerable White House Easter Egg Roll next month is canceled "out of an abundance of caution" due to the coronavirus pandemic.

She cited the National Emergency Declaration made by President Donald Trump last week.

“The health and safety of all Americans must be the first priority, especially right now,” the first lady said in a statement issued by the White House.

“I deeply regret this cancellation,but we need to make difficult decisions in the short-term to ensure a healthy country for the long-term.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2020/03/16/coronavirus-melania-trump-cancels-white-house-easter-egg-roll/5058221002/

Dude, Jay and Silent Bob, take it out on Trump. Don’t take it out on the Easter Bunny. And by the way, Melania, your husband put us in this position because he called the virus a hoax! And come on, are empty pews really a bad thing? So the Christian right doesn’t get their annual traditions in. Big fucking deal. We’re all making sacrifices right now, they should have to make some too.

President Donald Trump is determined to ease coronavirus restrictions on most Americans by the Easter holiday -- auspicious timing for his evangelical base and business allies but a worrisome deadline for public-health experts shaping the U.S. response to a still mushrooming outbreak.

Trump’s impatience to get everyone back to work set in almost immediately after he urged everyone to stay home -- touched off as he watched a sermon delivered by a prominent evangelical preacher to an empty megachurch. It gained momentum as Trump listened to advice from conservative economists who warned of near-apocalyptic financial damage, a view reinforced by a free-fall in markets.

And it coalesced around a single day, among the most sacred in the Christian calendar -- Easter Sunday, April 12 -- for reasons more symbolic than scientific after a key meeting headed by Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner just four days after the stay-at-home advice.

Trump’s public-health advisers appear to have made some headway in softening his insistence on that single day -- “a beautiful time, a beautiful timeline,” as the president has called it -- but he largely remains undeterred.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-27/how-trump-picked-easter-as-back-to-normal-date-despite-outbreak

A Beautiful Timeline? OK the title of the next musical bio picture aside, there’s nothing about this that is beautiful. In fact I could spend this entire edition posting stat after stat saying there’s no such thing as what Trump is talking about. In fact, you could say that he is pulling these figures directly out of his ass, and that’s not a pretty sight, I can guarantee you that! Instead, I’ll show you what changed his mind and leave it at that.

US Christian leaders have criticised Donald Trump’s Easter coronavirus deadline – by which he wants to see much of the country reopened and churches full. One described it as the “height of hypocrisy”.

As US coronavirus cases and deaths continued to soar, the president said on Tuesday he wanted to reopen “large sections of the country” by Easter Sunday – 12 April – when there would be “packed churches all over our country”.

His comments came despite warnings from White House taskforce members Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx, the latter saying she was “deeply concerned” about New York and its surrounding area.

On Wednesday the number of confirmed US cases rose to 54,453 and 737 deaths, according to figures from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/25/trump-coronavirus-easter-christian-leaders-respond

[font size="8"]My Pillow Guy
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We currently live in a fucking cartoon. Actually no, we live in an infomercial that runs during the really late night shift once Stephen Colbert is over. Trump’s press conferences are so insane that I keep expecting him to say “BUT WAIT!! THERE’S MORE!!!”. Hell, I also keep expecting to hear the 1-800-EMPIRE commercial jingle in the background. Oh yeah that happened. And dude, when we’re all hurting for answers as to what the fuck is really going on, maybe don’t invite the fucking My Pillow Guy to a White House press conference!!! Really what the hell did you expect that would happen Trump? He turned official government business into one of his MAGA rallies.

President Donald Trump kicked off Monday’s press briefing on the coronavirus much like every other, by running through daily updates about the deadly virus and the White House efforts to eradicate it.

But unlike in typical briefings throughout the pandemic, in which various members of the administration discuss what their agencies are doing to combat the virus or help blunt its economic toll, Trump yielded the stage first to a handful of business leaders — one of them a staunch supporter who went off script in a moment of effusive praise for the president.

The Trump administration has involved business leaders in nearly every aspect of its response to the pandemic, leaning heavily on private-public partnerships to respond to the virus, which has rapidly spread and touched nearly every industry in the country, so it wasn‘t their presence alone that was unusual.

Among those he introduced Monday were the “great leader” of Honeywell, as well as the CEOs of Jockey, Procter & Gamble and United Technologies, all of whom laid out how their companies were fulfilling what Trump described as “their patriotic duty” to fight the virus.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/30/my-pillow-lindell-trump-coronavirus-156335

There’s honestly nothing you can say because this is too fucking stupid to be able to believed, but then again this is the year 2020 here. And for the people who say “Oh he’s only trying to help, what have you done?”. Well, to that I say “fuck you!!!”. Seriously you can’t pray this thing away, and just like gun violence, your thoughts and prayers aren’t going to work. And for Trump to use his platform for this guy, well, that’s sad.

After MyPillow founder Mike Lindell appeared Monday during a White House coronavirus task force briefing to announce his company's intention to produce face masks to help mitigate the spread of coronavirus, the term "My Pillow" became the number one trending topic on Twitter.

Lindell told reporters he had diverted 75 percent of his company's manufacturing capabilities to producing cotton face masks with a goal of creating 50,000 masks per day by Friday.

After speaking about what his company was doing to help in the fight against coronavirus, Lindell made some comments which he called "off the cuff."

"God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on," Lindell said, referencing the date President Donald Trump was elected. "God had been taken out of schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families."
https://www.newsweek.com/my-pillow-trends-after-mypillow-founder-urges-americans-focus-religion-during-white-house-1495165

Yeah no, your prayers aren’t going to work, Mike. You need way more than that to stop this virus from killing a whole lot of us. But to claim that Trump’s presidency is an act of God, well, that is so fucking stupid I can’t even come up with a response to it. Does that mean that God is a raging asshole? Oh yeah and if you think Mike’s masks will be the same quality as his pillows, there’s this from last year that you might have missed.

May 9 was the last day of work for 150 employees in the MyPillow production department in Shakopee.

The company is launching a new online store for inventors and “due to this new direction,” changing production at MyPillow. The employees have been informed of other job opportunities outside of the company, if they choose, according to the company.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell said in a prepared statement the layoffs will allow the company to launch his next venture: an online store for entrepreneurs and inventors to sell their products. The new venture, called MyStore.com, will be run out of MyPillow’s Shakopee factories.

“As we prepare for the launch of MyStore.com, we are changing the layout of our Shakopee factories so the fulfillment and shipping of all MyStore products can happen here,” Lindell said.
https://www.swnewsmedia.com/shakopee_valley_news/news/local/mypillow-lays-off-from-shakopee-factory/article_205f5657-b9a4-59bf-92a4-4ab05638838f.html

Oh and by the way, do we really need this guy in any position of power? There’s no way this guy is equipped to be governor of anywhere. And if you think running the country like a business is the way to go, well, it got us here. In the middle of a global pandemic that is affecting literally everyone. So yeah, no, fuck you Mike. I hope the good people of Minnesota are better than you.

President Donald Trump introduced those tuning into his nightly coronavirus task force briefing on Monday to a special guest: Mike Lindell, the multimillionaire inventor and CEO of the MyPillow empire.

"Boy, do you sell those pillows," Trump said, asking him to step up to the mic and tell Americans how his company was helping them deal with the outbreak. Lindell then launched into a short infomercial for his company, going on to describe how the firm was manufacturing cotton face masks and effusively praising the president for his pandemic stewardship.

“I did not know he was going to do that, but he is a friend of mine, and I do appreciate it,” Trump said.

It’s hardly their first encounter. Lindell has told associates that the president is encouraging him to run for governor of Minnesota in 2022, to “keep Minnesota red beyond” the 2020 race, according to a person with direct knowledge of his comments.

Trump told him that “he really wants me to run,” according to the source, who spoke with Lindell in late February soon after the MyPillow CEO’s conversation with Trump in the White House.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/30/trump-nudging-mypillow-lindell-run-office-156195

[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Tate Reeves
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Mississippi governor Tate Reeves. Just like the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, Tate Reeves seems to just not care that a lot of his people are going to die from COVID-19. Just as in Florida, which seems to have a few very loosely defined restrictions on COVID-19 gatherings, Mississippi also does the same. In fact, you might say that they have even looser restrictions on public gatherings. And it’s because, economy, stupid. Yes, Tate Reeves is willing to put your lives at risk because he doesn’t feel that your life is worth more than your contributions to the economy are. And because of that, you will most likely die.

Gov. Tate Reeves said as the number of COVID-19 cases continue to rise in some areas of Mississippi, he is ready and able to issue a shelter-in-place order if needed.

“As we look at the days and weeks ahead, and as the data suggested and the experts recommended, please understand that there is a very real possibility that for certain communities in our state, a shelter-in-place order is imminent,” Reeves said. “I am committed to do everything I can do in a responsible way to protect my fellow Mississippians, and that’s going to be difficult on a lot of people. Nobody necessarily wants to be shut in their own home by the government. It’s not something that I will do lightly, but if the data suggests it and the experts recommend it, I will do it.”

Reeves and state health officer Dr. Thomas Dobbs were live Sunday afternoon on Facebook, where they stressed the need for social distancing and isolation to slow the spread of COVID-19.

Dobbs said the Mississippi State Health Department wants to do more expansive testing to identify those who are positive for COVID-19 and then track their "little cluster" contacts so they may be quarantined for a couple weeks. Doing so will help prevent the need for a broader quarantine order, Dobbs said. He compared it to pruning a bush rather than burning the bush.
https://www.wapt.com/article/reeves-signs-order-to-help-mississippians-out-of-work-because-of-covid-19-crisis/31970338#

Yes, you suck for sure. Sure, he could be ready, or he could not. In fact this should have been issued weeks ago. but leave it to the Gulf Coast states to screw it up for the rest of us who really could have seen this coming. But what is Mississippi doing? While other states have much stricter rules against this sort of thing, it seems that anything goes in Mississippi. Even the mayors of the cities are divided on this.

Mayors across the state are taking it upon themselves to clarify to their residents that curfews, restaurant bans, and stay-at-home orders remain in place after an executive order from the governor's office earlier this week muddled the waters.

Cities and counties and the state are operating under different guidelines on ways to protect their residents, resulting in confusion across the state, several mayors said.

In some cities, officials are dispatching their police and fire departments to enforce the public safety orders as they fear residents will not take them as serious as they should.

Meanwhile, reports of restaurants re-opening their dining rooms or churches preparing to worship in person are also circulating, raising concerns from city officials who are trying to stem the transmission of the coronavirus.

Still other mayors stand behind the governor's order which they say gives local officials the proper authority without forcing their hand. The best people to understand what measures to take are those on the ground and in the region, they say. https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/2020/03/28/mississippi-mayors-divided-gov-reeves-coronavirus-directives/2925959001/

There aren’t enough facepalms for things that are going on in the world right now. Even the former governor of Mississippi is yelling at Gov. Reeves and telling him to shelter in place. And the rest of the country is going “THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE TWO WEEKS AGO YOU MORON!!!”. Well, things are going to get very ugly for the state of Mississippi.

Mayor: step up COVID-19 restrictions. Governor: prays

The mayor of a coastal Mississippi city called on the governor Sunday to step up restrictions imposed because of COVID-19.

Gov. Tate Reeves “needs to shut down the state,” Moss Point Mayor Mario King told WLOX-TV on Sunday.

Moss Point is a city in Jackson County, which had 35 of the nearly 760 cases in Mississippi as of Sunday. Moss Point’s 13,700 residents include 19 who have the disease, King said.

He said he planned an emergency meeting Sunday of the city’s Board of Aldermen.

“This is serious,” King said. “People are not social distancing, they are continuing to have large gatherings. We are going to have to step it up a notch.”
https://www.magnoliastatelive.com/2020/03/29/mississippi-mayor-urges-governor-to-shut-down-the-state-over-coronavirus/

There aren’t enough facepalms for this. But apparently if you live in Mississippi, your governor values his state’s economy over your life. So much in fact that he’s not willing to listen to rhyme or reason to protect the citizens of his state. Oh yeah and it’s his fucking job to do that! In the end is it going to be incompetence that will cause our demise? You betcha!

“I’m so frustrated by the whole thing,” said Smithson, the former director of the Mississippi Emergency Management Agency and, before that, director of military support for the Mississippi National Guard. “The only thing I can do is minimize my outings and take care of my family. I think it’s going to get a whole lot worse.”

“We’re looking at economics over public health.”

Smithson is one of thousands of Mississippians who have implored Reeves to issue stay-at-home orders for all but essential operations, including health care and emergency response.

Instead, Reeves has signed an executive order that allows all manner of businesses to continue operating, including restaurants with limited seating, retail stores and auto dealerships.

In a Facebook post, Reeves referenced the state’s pandemic response plan, adopted in 2013.

The plan’s objective is public health. The introduction says, “The response phase will include steps to activate response systems, prevent the spread of disease, prevent severe clinical outcomes in the ill, ensure that adequate support exists for response activities and ensure the continuity of operations across the state.”
https://www.sunherald.com/news/coronavirus/article241559831.html

Yup, America, with people like this at the helm, we’re screwed. That’s Mississippi governor Tate Reeves, yet another in the growing list of:

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Coronavirus Scams & Fake Cures
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The spread of the novel coronavirus has launched a spread of misinformation out there. It’s also launched a share of scams, cons, and fake cures. While COVID-19 has brought life to a near halt around the globe, that hasn’t stopped the worst of us from making a profit off this deadly disease and subsequent disaster that has followed. Which has turned America and the rest of the world into a hotbed rife for scamming. In fact there’s so much scamming and phishing going on right now that the Federal Trade Commission has issued guidelines that will help you deal with the forthcoming barrage of scamming from this disaster.

Through emails, text messages and phone calls, scammers are targeting their victims and they're using the COVID-19 pandemic to get the job done. It's unknown how many people have been swindled, but 3 On Your Side doesn't want you to be the next victim.

So, first up, be aware of the Coronavirus Test Kit Scam. It works when a scammer calls you. A recent audio clip released by the Federal Communications Commission shows how the scam works.

“The Coronavirus Response Act has made coronavirus testing more accessible immediately,” the scammer says. “If you want to receive a free testing kit delivered overnight to your home, press 1. If you do not want your free testing, press 2."

Due to the shortage of test kits, the scammer hopes you'll call back and pay for something that really doesn't exist.

Then, there's Social Security Scam that targets senior citizens.
https://www.azfamily.com/news/investigations/3_on_your_side/originals/fcc-sees-increase-in-covid-19-scams/article_757ed7f4-72b8-11ea-b479-d35615c39e1a.html

If you’re a senior especially, be extremely careful about answering that phone or replying to that text message if it’s not from a number that you don’t know. Medication seems to be one of the scams that is emerging from this virus pandemic. But it is a good thing that governments are cracking down on this sort of thing because the virus has everyone terrified to leave or even answer the phone.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel reissued an alert regarding scammers who tried to trick people into handing over private medical information by impersonating representatives from local public health departments.

Nessel said the suspects called residents to offer medication and at-home COVID-19 tests before asking for their Medicaid and Medicare numbers, purportedly for billing purposes. Incoming calls from scammers are also jamming local health departments’ phone lines, Nessel said, delaying important responses to COVID-19.

“Scammers are still on a quest to take advantage of this public health crisis to gain access to your private information," Nessel said in a statement. "As we continue to work together to mitigate the spread of COVID-19, I want to remind all Michiganders to stay on high alert for scam calls, emails and text or direct messages on social media.

Reports so far have been focused on the Ionia County Health Department and the Benzie Leelanau Public Health Department, Nessel said. The Attorney General’s office previously issued a consumer alert last week and reissued the alert Monday to increase awareness.
https://www.mlive.com/public-interest/2020/03/michigan-attorney-general-warns-of-scammers-imitating-health-officials-during-coronavirus-pandemic.html

That’s easier said than done. In fact you are going to need to be very vigilant in the forthcoming weeks to protect yourself. So how do you protect yourself from Coronavirus scammers? Well for one thing just like any scam the key is to not give out any personal information to anyone, just like you would in normal, everyday life. Because you can never be too careful.

Do not give out your PayPal account information, Social Security number, bank account number or anything else if someone claims such information is essential to sign you up for a stimulus check relating to the coronavirus pandemic.

It's not. It's a scam.

It's time to warn consumers once again that we need to practice some social distancing from the scammers.

The FBI, state attorneys general and other agencies are alerting Americans that phone calls, texts or emails asking for personal or financial information to get the $1,200 federal payment are not legit.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel on Thursday issued what she called "an urgent consumer alert" relating to scammers who play up federal stimulus checks. In other states, the Better Business Bureau has reported that the level of "stimulus scams" has gone through the roof. The real stimulus cash is likely to hit bank accounts within the next three weeks or later, but taxpayers don't have to sign up to get the money. Checks are expected to take longer. And yes, some people could experience delays.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2020/03/28/coronavirus-covid-19-stimulus-checks-scams/2934056001/

See? Even the kids can see that this is a scam. You’ve got $1200 and they want it, and they are coming for it. Even worse – there’s people who will perform back alley operations for you. Yes, much like the meat market in Futurama, there’s the possibility of people offering cures for the virus in a back alley if your hospital has too many long lines. Gotta love deregulated America, right? So yeah if you come across this guy, don’t do it.

FBI agents arrested a Georgia man Monday on charges that he accepted kickbacks from medical testing companies by referring people for COVID-19 testing who didn't need it to fraudulently get Medicare reimbursement.

Court documents said Erik Santos, 49, of Braselton, Georgia, engaged in a large-scale scheme to defraud the government by soliciting and receiving payments from companies involved in medical testing in exchange for steering people to those companies for expensive tests that Medicare would pay for.

Prosecutors said he was already getting kickbacks for unnecessary cancer screenings when the pandemic hit.

Prosecutors said Santos told a government informant during a March 19 phone call that "while there are people going through what they are going through, you can either go bankrupt or you can prosper," and added, "Everybody has been chasing the COVID dollar bird."
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/coronavirus-kickbacks-fbi-arrests-georgia-man-large-scale-unnecessary-testing-n1172101

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

My fair congregation! We are only conducting this second online meeting for the duration of this unholy virus infecting the landscape. But that said, my fellow zealots are not taking this thing seriously. So with that in mind we’re going to take a look at some incidents around the country that will show that this is the work of GAWD. Now GAWD wants people to come together. He truly wants that. But in this time of pandemic and isolation, that’s incredibly hard to do. However, the people who pray to JAYSUS are , well, lost to the message right now. See, if we stay at home, the virus goes away sooner. But if we keep congregating, this is going to go on months. Which would you rather have? I know which my choice and the choice of our LAWRD would be!

As Liberty University’s spring break was drawing to a close this month, Jerry Falwell Jr., its president, spoke with the physician who runs Liberty’s student health service about the rampaging coronavirus.

“We’ve lost the ability to corral this thing,” Dr. Thomas W. Eppes Jr. said he told Mr. Falwell. But he did not urge him to close the school. “I just am not going to be so presumptuous as to say, ‘This is what you should do and this is what you shouldn’t do,’” Dr. Eppes said in an interview.

So Mr. Falwell — a staunch ally of President Trump and an influential voice in the evangelical world — reopened the university last week, igniting a firestorm. As of Friday, Dr. Eppes said, nearly a dozen Liberty students were sick with symptoms that suggested Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. Three were referred to local hospital centers for testing. An additional eight were told to self-isolate.

As of 8 p.m. on March 29, of those three students tested, one was positive, one was negative and one student’s results are still pending, according to Dr. Eppes, who added that the student who tested positive for Covid-19 lives off campus.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/29/us/politics/coronavirus-liberty-university-falwell.html

Yes, you need JAYSUS! And just because that one student lives off campus, that does not make it OK to do that, Falwell! Now here’s where actions have consequences! Jerry, you should have been punished by your almighty GAWD. But you didn’t listen. And now you will instead be punished by the state. And you do not want to be punished by the state. Because, as I said, actions have consequences!

Virginia’s governor on Monday ordered all higher education institutions to stop any in-person instruction amid the coronavirus pandemic, a move likely directed at Liberty University.

The evangelical college in Lynchburg led by President Jerry Falwell Jr. has faced intense criticism over its decision to welcome students back to campus last week after the end of their spring break. The vast majority of classes have been moved online, but the university has said publicly that in-person instruction was necessary for a few select courses.

“We are currently reviewing what the governor said but aren’t able to make a comment at this moment,” said Liberty spokesman Scott Lamb.

Lamb said he couldn’t immediately say whether any in-person instruction was continuing Monday, but the university’s website specifically mentioned that flight training for aeronautics courses would “remain in the traditional face to face format.”
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/virginia-orders-end-to-in-person-classes-after-liberty-university-reopens-2020-03-30

Now see here’s where actions have consequences. Because Falwell did what he did, the governor of Virginia locked out all schools until this quarantine is over! Yeah, you got this in trouble for the rest of us, Jerry. Switching gears, let’s go over to our favorite state of Florida where a pastor has landed himself in some extremely hot water for violating the state and CDC rules on this sort of thing. See, this is why this thing is going to drag on months instead of weeks.

Megachurch Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne and the River at Tampa Bay Church had been warned.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office received an anonymous tip that the pastor planned to hold services Sunday in violation of county orders asking residents to stay home and limit gatherings to slow the coronavirus. Sheriff’s officials said they warned church lawyers on Friday and Sunday about the “dangerous environment they were creating for their members and the community.”

But Howard-Browne, the self-proclaimed “Holy Ghost bartender” and COVID-19 conspiracy theorist, ignored those warnings. He held two large services on Sunday, deputies said, and even bused people in to the church at 3738 River International Drive.

The church live-streamed the morning “Main Event” service on its Facebook page, showing congregants shoulder-to-shoulder while the church band played.
https://www.tampabay.com/news/health/2020/03/30/tampa-church-holds-packed-service-draws-warning-from-sheriffs-office/

Yeah probably! But the good LAWRD JAYSUS wouldn’t put people in jeopardy like that. though, but look at that almighty palace of a church though! Wouldn’t you want to worship there, now? Well considering the toxic politics of the main pastor we wouldn’t. Though here’s why this is a bad idea no matter which way you look at it. Let’s go back to Virginia where another pastor threatens to break curfew.

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson posted a video on Facebook last night in which he vowed to hold services this Sunday at his The Called Church in Chesapeake, Virginia, in defiance of the stay-at-home order issued Monday by Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam in an effort to slow the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Jackson, who has been promising members of his congregation that they will not become infected by the virus because they are protected by God, declared that Northam’s executive order is nothing more than a blatant attempt to permanently close down churches and vowed to defy it, even as fellow right-wing pastor Rodney Howard-Browne was arrested yesterday for holding services in defiance of a similar order in Florida.

“[They] couldn’t figure out how to shut these churches down and shut them up, but [they] finally got an excuse to do so,” Jackson fumed. “We’re going to have our worship services. We are. We’ve got enough room in our sanctuary for the numbers showing up to do social distancing, but I am not going to stop worshiping God, we are not going to stop gathering together because I don’t believe that any governor has the constitutional authority to tell me we can’t.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/e-w-jackson-vows-to-hold-church-services-in-defiance-of-virginias-stay-at-home-order/

Oh yeah, let them be mad. The sooner we get this over with the better! That’s it this week, mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Twitter Vs James Woods
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Now Twitter, what did you learn? You knew that James Woods is a toxic asshole but you let him out of the bag anyways. And guess what? You learned nothing. In fact not only did you not learn nothing, this is what one might call a “circular firing squad”. Because what he did to Florida’s Andrew Gillum, who is currently suffering from his own mess, might be what one would call “rubbing salt in the wound”. And not only did Mr. Woods rub some salt in the wound. We’ve talked a lot about celebrities being banned from Twitter and their love-hate affair with social media. But this might take things to a whole new extreme. Hold your boos.

Citing violations against the social media site's internal rules, Twitter locked the account @RealJamesWoods, limiting the actor's ability to use the platform. While locked, account holders cannot tweet or retweet, but can still browse the social media platform.

"We may ask you to complete certain actions before we start the countdown on your limited state," Twitter explains in its Help Center. "These actions may include verifying your email address, adding a phone number to your account, or removing Tweets that are in violation of our rules."

While the exact conditions of Woods' lock are unknown, a screenshot circulating on social media suggest that his account was temporarily locked for a tweet about the former Tallahassee mayor and 2018 Florida gubernatorial candidate.

"Just remember, this could have been Florida's governor in the midst of the #WuhanCoronaVirus pandemic," Woods wrote in the tweet. "Make sure you vote #Republican in November like your life depends on it. Because it does."

But it wasn't Woods' words that prompted the ban. Along with the tweet, Woods also shared a photograph allegedly related to a Miami Beach Police Department report. Early in March, police were called to a hotel after midnight and found Gillum inebriated alongside a man suffering from a possible drug overdose. Police found suspected crystal meth in the hotel room, which Gillum denied using in a prepared statement released to the press.
https://www.newsweek.com/james-woods-twitter-feed-locked-freejameswoods-return-andrew-gillum-1494188

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Of course you already knew that James Woods was a pompous, self-serving asshole. The perfect mind for Trump to attract. But James Woods wasn’t the only prominent conservative being banned from posting on Twitter. Look at what happened when Rudy Giuliani broke Twitter’s now heavily reinforced rule about hawking misinformation about COVID-19.

Twitter removed a message by Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump's personal attorney, for spreading misinformation about the coronavirus and making groundless attacks on Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

In the tweet on Friday, Giuliani quoted conservative youth activist Charlie Kirk, who claimed that an unproven anti-malaria drug, hydroxychloroquine "in at least three international tests was found 100% effective in treating the coronavirus," according to screen shots of the message published by Mediate.

He went on to quote Kirk claiming that Whitmer, who in recent days has been targeted in attacks by Trump, is "threatening" doctors who prescribe the drug.

The drug has also been touted by Trump as a potential coronavirus cure — but doctors have warned that it can cause cardiac arrhythmia, a condition that can be fatal for patients with heart conditions.

Twitter confirmed to multiple news outlets that it had temporarily locked the account and removed the tweet.
https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-twitter-deletes-giuliani-tweet-for-spreading-misinformation-2020-3

Yeah so here’s the thing, conservatives. You can whine and cry all you want about “shadow banning” (not a thing). You can claim that there’s a social media war against conservatives (again, also not a thing). But in the end, just like a bad breakup, you have to tell yourself “It’s not them, it’s me.”. If you don’t believe me, just take a look at what happened when The Federalist also tried to be complete dicks during this pandemic. Yeah, they actually went there!

On March 25, The Federalist published an article suggesting “controlled voluntary infection” -- similar to “chickenpox parties" -- as a potential solution to the coronavirus outbreak in the United States. The astoundingly irresponsible suggestion, hinging on the advice of an unlicensed dermatologist and businessman, is only the latest in The Federalist’s recklessly dangerous coronavirus coverage.

The article, written by Douglas A. Perednia, argues that the mitigation and suppression of the disease through tactics like social distancing will only cripple the economy for future generations and won’t resolve the problem in the long term. In order to avoid economic devastation and other issues, Perednia suggests that people voluntarily contract coronavirus to build herd immunity. Though the article identified Perednia as a physician in Oregon, his medical license has expired and he appears to have “spent the last 25 years as a businessman of various sorts.”

The article contradicts the harsh steps experts have warned need to be taken in order to avoid a nightmare scenario with coronavirus, and Twitter ultimately took down a tweet from The Federalist promoting the article (and locked its account) for violating rules on the spread of disinformation about COVID-19. (In a twisted coincidence, on the day the article was published, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear lambasted individuals for taking part in a “coronavirus party,” where one person ended up testing positive for the virus.)
https://www.mediamatters.org/coronavirus-covid-19/federalist-suggests-controlled-voluntary-infection-latest-example-its-reckless

And let’s hope this doesn’t become a thing. Look, conservatives, it’s not social media sites, its’ you. It doesn’t matter if you’re James Woods or the Federalist. We’re all in this together. You can keep your social media accounts. Just don’t be a dick. Also, don’t hawk dangerously misleading information from a guy whose organization became famous for wearing diapers to promote safe spaces! So yeah every time you’re a dick on social media, you’re playing with fire. Just look at the last time James Woods got banned from Twitter.

President Donald Trump attacked social media websites after a number of conservatives and extremist figures were banned from platforms, saying that he was monitoring the situation.

Trump spent parts of Friday and Saturday criticizing Twitter and Facebook, declaring, "I am continuing to monitor the censorship of AMERICAN CITIZENS on social media platforms," he wrote on Twitter. Trump has repeatedly asserted that social media companies exhibit bias against conservatives, something the companies have rejected as untrue.

"It’s getting worse and worse for Conservatives on social media!" Trump wrote, following in another tweet, "This is the United States of America — and we have what’s known as FREEDOM OF SPEECH! We are monitoring and watching, closely!!

The president’s comments came after Facebook this week banned Louis Farrakhan, Alex Jones and other extremists, saying they violated its ban on “dangerous individuals.” The company also removed right-wing personalities Paul Nehlen, Milo Yiannopoulos, Paul Joseph Watson and Laura Loomer, along with Jones’ site, Infowars, which often posts false conspiracy theories. The latest bans apply both to Facebook’s main service and to Instagram and extend to fan pages and other related accounts.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/05/04/donald-trump-attacks-twitter-facebook-james-woods-banned/1102418001/

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Hey everyone welcome to our first ever edition of a segment that we’re sure will take off – Conspiracy Corner! Yes, it’s the segment where we dissect the latest batshit nuttery from conservative conspiracy theorists. And you can rest assured that in this day and age where there’s a killer virus on the loose, the tin foil hat batshit will be flying hard and fast! And specifically I want to start by talking about a conspiracy that I knew nothing about until COVID hit Kathy Griffin last week, and the usual amount of hate coming from Trump trolls was exactly what I expected was there. But then there was this absolutely baffling conspiracy theory that I had no idea even existed until now. And this might be the single nuttiest thing they’ve come up with yet.

Right-wing “journalist” and Trump–worshiping conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin posted a video on YouTube last week in which she declared that the current COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak is really just a cover for the Trump administration to carry out the mass arrests long promised by QAnon, the right-wing conspiracy theory that posits that President Donald Trump has been working diligently to arrest countless prominent political, media, and business leaders for allegedly being part of a global satanic pedophile ring.

Crokin doubled down on this predication in a new video that she posted last night in which she and also speculated that celebrities like Tom Hanks and Idris Elba have contracted the virus by drinking adrenochrome that had been intentionally laced with the virus by “the white hats”—a computer security term used to refer to hackers who use their skills for good.

“I also believe that this virus was created by the cabal, specifically Bill Gates,” Crokin said. “I also believe that the good guys, the white hats, knew that they were going to release this virus, and they intercepted their plans to use this virus as a false flag. They are now using their plans with the virus against them by using the virus as an excuse to lock down the country and many other countries, so the military can go in and safely conduct these raids and military operations to sweep up these criminals.”

“There’s a lot of anons (i.e., believers in the QAnon conspiracy theory) that believe the white hats tainted the elite’s adrenochrome supply with the coronavirus, and that’s why so many members of the elite are getting the coronavirus,” she added. “Adrenochrome is a drug that the elites love. It comes from children. The drug is extracted from the pituitary gland of tortured children. It’s sold on the black market. It’s the drug of the elites. It is their favorite drug. It is beyond evil. It is demonic. It is so sick. So there is a theory that the white hats tainted the adrenochrome supply with the coronavirus.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/liz-crokin-claims-celebrities-are-getting-coronavirus-from-tainted-adrenochrome-supply/

Absolutely! This might be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard coming from the Trump / Q crowd, and I’ve heard them say a lot of crazy shit. So their quest to find a global satanic pedophile ring has dwindled into believing that a tainted batch of a drug is made from the brainstems of children and aborted babies. See, this is what happens when we lack access to mental health facilities. They tend to become conspiracy theorists. So just how crazy are they lately? Well let’s ask Tom Hanks’ son, Chet.

Following a bizarre video posted to Instagram, Tom Hanks' son, Chet, now loses it completely over claims his family is involved with the Illuminati and the coronavirus.

After his mother and father were diagnosed with the coronavirus, Chet Hanks took to Instagram to post a shirtless video of himself where he offered an update about his parents' condition.

Conspiracy theorists immediately recognized the All-Seeing Eye of the Illuminati, aka the All-Seeing Eye of Horus, aka the All-Seeing Eye of Lucifer (in some circles), tattooed on the 29-year-old's chest.

The bizarre video saw Chet Hanks say that it came to his attention that a lot of Trump supporters realized the truth about him and his family, that they are Illuminati.

It also didn't help that his father, Tom Hanks, dropped the number "201" in a tweet about the coronavirus, as right around the release of the Coronavirus in China, the World Economic Forum and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation hosted Event 201, a high-level pandemic exercise on October 18, 2019, in New York, NY.
https://cosmicbook.news/tom-hanks-son-chet-illuminati

Yes, you absolutely sound insane, oh followers of the Q! I think I get it now – Tom Hanks is using 5G technology to send tainted batches of adrenochrome to his fellow celebrities so they purposefully get Coronavirus as part of an illuminati plot to destroy Trump! It’s so obvious now! Except of course for that part about nothing in that sentence being true. But this whole thing is all part of a massive disinformation campaign.

Scientific warnings are being ignored, misinformation is spreading, and prominent Republicans have said that addressing the problem is either too expensive or too difficult. No, this isn’t climate change: This is the new reality of the novel coronavirus, the deadly pandemic sweeping the planet.

Over the past several weeks, as global cases of COVID-19 have climbed to over 500,000, conspiracy theories and fake news have also been on the rise. On Monday a man died after ingesting chloroquine phosphate, an ingredient in an anti-malarial drug that President Trump had heralded as a coronavirus cure.

Meanwhile, the website Snopes has been forced to scale back its fact-checking work in response to the overwhelming number of fake stories around the pandemic. (Some disturbing highlights: claims that the coronavirus was released by world governments to distract from a planet-ending doomsday asteroid, or that breathing hot air from a hair dryer can kill the virus.)

But these wild conspiracy theories hide a larger problem: widespread skepticism about the severity of the crisis. President Trump downplayed the risk of the virus for months, saying the situation was “very much under control” and that the pandemic would go away by April. Anchors on Fox News initially denied that the coronavirus was a significant threat, calling concerned scientists and policymakers “panic pushers” conspiring to take down the president. Sean Hannity referred to it as “a new hoax.”
https://grist.org/climate/misinformation-kills-the-link-between-coronavirus-conspiracies-and-climate-denial/

Dude, come on, you know things are bullshit when you overload Snopes. I mean that’s a site dedicated to tracking bullshit! You broke the fact checker, conspiracy theorists! I hope you are happy with yourselves! But this has opened up a can of worms that should not have been opened! Here’s the thing people, keep your god damn fake news and conspiracy theories to yourself. You want to see where this is leading? Let’s head to Iran to find out!

Two peculiarities to Iran are undercutting its response. One, Iranian scientists say, is U.S.-led sanctions that cripple the country’s ability to import drugs and protective gear or produce them at home. “It’s medical terrorism imposed on Iranian civilians,” fumes Mohammad Kazem Jafari, president of the International Institute of Earthquake Engineering and Seismology in Tehran. The other is self-inflicted: Iranian media has been awash with dubious “cures” for COVID-19—hundreds of Iranians reportedly have died or become blind after consuming bootleg methanol—and rhetoric dismissing the outbreak as a Western plot. “It’s a high-stakes battle between science and conspiracy theories,” says Kaveh Madani, an Iran specialist at Yale University and formerly a senior environmental official in Iran.

Iran reported its first confirmed COVID-19 cases on 19 February: two fatalities in the holy city of Qom. Many observers suspect the virus had gained a foothold earlier, and its spread may have been accelerated by rallies across Iran on 11 February to mark the anniversary of the 1979 revolution that drew hundreds of thousands of people, then by parliamentary elections 10 days later. Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei implored Iranians to come to the polls—the virus, he said, was being used as a pretext “to discourage people from voting.”

As the disease spread, Iran’s health ministry teamed up with the military and volunteers to equip and staff more than 1200 centers nationwide to screen for infected individuals, says Reza Malekzadeh, vice minister for research. But the government resisted imposing social distancing. President Hassan Rouhani on 25 February called the novel coronavirus “one of the enemy’s plots to bring our country into closure by spreading panic.”
https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2020/03/iran-confronts-coronavirus-amid-battle-between-science-and-conspiracy-theories

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And while we’re all sidelined by the Coronavirus, you can rest assured that there’s no shortage of stupid people even while we’re all quarantined. And not only are we learning that people are dumb, we’re also learning that people are gross. Now I don’t want to report this as being stupid but in this day and age where there’s a supervirus living among us, this kind of thing just flat out should not happen. So here’s the thing, while people are inexplicably buying toilet paper, others are coming up with some various ways to cope. So much that the EPA is issuing a statement saying “don’t do this!!!!”.

The all-caps message on the new sign that went up in Redding, California, after the coronavirus came to town could not be any clearer: ONLY FLUSH TOILET PAPER.

It made its debut last week on the corner of Smile Place and Russell Street after a desperate soul clogged one of the city’s sewer lines by wiping with pieces of shredded T-shirt — and flushing them down the toilet, the city confirmed.

Quick work by members of the city’s Department of Public Works averted what could have been a smelly disaster, officials there said.

“The sewer line that had plugged up last week was not substantially different than any other sewer blockage from people flushing products that they aren’t supposed to, just that it was during the toilet paper shortage and was intentionally flushed in lieu of traditional toilet paper,” Ryan Bailey, assistant director of public works, said in an email to NBC News. “The item was specifically cut T-shirts.”

What happened in Redding is not an anomaly.

There have been reports of sewage systems and toilets clogging across the country as Americans faced with a shortage of toilet paper have resorted to using baby wipes, paper towels, napkins and tissues — and flushing them away.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/americans-coping-coronavirus-are-clogging-toilets-wipes-t-shirts-n1168706

Yes, listen to the great Cornholio. By using anything other than TP, and flushing that thing down the toilet, you are putting your life in danger. Speaking of people putting other people’s lives in danger, don’t be like this next moron. It’s one thing to accidentally cough in a public place, it’s another thing to intentionally cough. And in the days of Coronavirus and social distancing, that’s actually putting someone’s life in danger.

At a time when grocery store workers and truck drivers are putting in long hours and selflessly risking COVID-19 exposure to keep the shelves in our communities stocked, a "very twisted prank" just forced a supermarket in Pennsylvania to throw away practically their entire inventory of fresh produce.

"Today was a very challenging day," Joe Fasula, the co-owner of Gerrity's Supermarkets, posted on the store's Facebook page Wednesday. "At 2:20 PM today, I got a call from our Hanover Township store. The manager informed me that a woman, who the police know to be a chronic problem in the community, came in to the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and a small section of our bakery, meat case and grocery. While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all product she came in contact with."

The supermarket is now working with their local health inspector to ensure that they have identified and properly disinfected each of the areas that the woman potentially contaminated. They say, as a result, they have had to throw out more than $35,000 worth of food — a devastating thought at a time when many Americans are lining up to shop for necessities.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/supermarket-throws-out-35k-fresh-produce-after-woman-purposefully-coughs-on-it-coronavirus-scare/

Yeah let’s save the boos for a new segment: “People Are Awful”. Speaking of people who are fucking awful, there’s the Coronavirus challenge going around. Yes, people think getting a deadly disease that fries your lungs is fucking hilarious. Just ask Tate Reeves and Key Ivey. It’s hilarious don’t you think? I mean well just ask these people who gathered at an Arkansas church. Gee, shocking, don’t you think?

Nearly three dozen people who attended a recent children's event at a church in Arkansas have tested positive for the coronavirus, according to church officials.

Donald Shipp, a deacon at First Assembly of God church in Greers Ferry, about 75 miles north of Little Rock, told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that 34 people who attended the event in early March at the Cleburne County church had tested positive for the coronavirus, and that an unknown number of others were awaiting test results.

... snip ...

"Even though we were the original positives, there are people who have been sick longer than we have," he said. "It clearly made its way through a special weekend of children’s ministry at our church."

He requested that people pray for health care workers, and he advised that people "take this medical threat more seriously."

"Maybe you assumed that it couldn’t happen to you, just like I did," he wrote. "Please adhere to the social instructions that you are receiving locally and nationally."

Read more: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1169471

Finally this week for the People Are Dumb category – I’m not even going to mention the fucking idiot who licked a toilet seat or the guy who used a fake tongue to lick a subway pole – you already know those guys are stupid. This time, our entrant into the People Are Dumb category – is Boris Johnson, yes, the PM of England. I always wondered which of our ragtag group of leaders would end up in this file, and I always assumed that it would be Trump. But then Boris Johnson comes along and says “Hold my pint of Boddingtons!”.

Whitty, who has appeared alongside Johnson at many of the daily press conferences held at Downing Street in the past two weeks, said he would spend the next week at home. "After experiencing symptoms compatible with COVID-19 last night, in line with the guidance, I will be self-isolating at home for the next seven days. I will be continuing to advise the Government on the medical response to Coronavirus, supported by my deputies," Whitty wrote on his Twitter page.

The announcements come just over a week after a top government adviser on the virus, Neil Ferguson, said he believed he had been infected and warned: "There is a lot of Covid-19 in Westminster," referring to the area of London that is home to the UK Parliament and other government premises.

Ferguson had met with the Prime Minister, as well as Whitty, and Chief Scientific Adviser Patrick Vallance. It was unclear, however, where Johnson may have contracted the virus.
Days earlier, the heir to the UK throne, Prince Charles, revealed that he had contracted the virus and was isolating himself at his estate in Scotland.

Johnson had been criticized for continuing to shake people's hands in public while government advice was to keep around two meters away from other people. The Prime Minister, Whitty and Vallance have been giving regular in-person press conferences to journalists on the virus after meetings.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/27/uk/uk-boris-johnson-coronavirus-gbr-intl/index.html

Seriously, if this guy who was with BoJo was the health inspector? Is it any wonder why we’re fucked for the foreseeable future? I wish I had my staff here because someone really needs to pry my hand from my face. I know. That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! Well, well, well. It has been quite the eventful Round 1 hasn’t it? If you’re wondering where you’re at so far, you can find the updated bracket posted weekly at the @10Idiots Twitter feed through the rest of the tournament. Last week, Nebraska stunned Tennessee to advance to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship. Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference, New Mexico hung on to defeat Missouri to advance to the Gun Nut Conference Championship! This week, Florida and Oregon duel it out for Gun Nut supremacy and the right to play New Mexico, while over in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #1 Michigan goes for broke against red hot #2 Pennsylvania! Let’s go live to the floor of the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans for all the action!

[font size="4"]Oregon:[/font]

Folks, you might be thinking “Hey! Oregon is a blue state! Why are they here?”. Well, Oregon is home to that most liberal bastion of cities, the almighty Portland. But they’re also home to some of the country’s most extreme militia groups like the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers. But once you get outside the major cities, there is a venerable melting pot of some of our favorite people like anti-government extremists and doomsday preppers. But in the day and age of Coronavirus how are things holding up in that part of the world?

He had never owned a gun before, but last week, a Pendleton man decided it was time.

John Battenfield went to the local farm and ranch supply store to make the purchase. After waiting a couple of days for his background check to clear, he returned and picked up the gun.

He was one of thousands around the state that day to do so.

In the one month since the coronavirus reached Oregon, waves of layoffs and social restrictions have given rise to panicked buying. Oregonians are stocking up in bulk on household and health care items like toilet paper, hand sanitizer and bottled water. But they’re also buying guns and ammunition in staggering numbers.

The state police department has seen a sudden surge of requests to perform background checks required to purchase firearms. Gun store owners attribute the increase in sales to visits from regular customers, but say many people are also coming in to buy their first gun. One county law enforcement agency said similar spikes happen when people fear lawmakers might pass new gun restrictions.
https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/gun-sales-spike-in-oregon-as-coronavirus-spreads.html

Well in this case they might not be compensating. But there was that insane plan to split Oregon because conservatives can dish it out, but they sure as hell can’t take it. When you come at them, they scream and cry and run the other way. Because when you get a bunch of gun nuts in the room, this happens. Much like that insane plan to split Virginia in two.

La PINE, Ore. (KTVZ) -- A retired La Pine nurseryman is a chief petitioner for the latest secession movement to draw attention in the West, a bid to add much of Oregon's southern, central and eastern counties into Idaho -- not including Bend or Sisters, but including Redmond, Madras and Prineville.

The Oregonian noted in its story Monday about the "Move Oregon's Border for a Greater Idaho" movement that there's always "talk of secession in the air," such as the long-standing Cascadia effort and the call for a conservative, rural state of Jefferson.

Mike McCarter, the La Pine resident who's helping lead the latest effort, told the paper he's backed the state of Jefferson movement, but doesn't see secession happening.

Instead, he's shooting for something far less constitutionally sticky -- moving a state's borders. He noted that's happened on a smaller scale in past decades elsewhere in the country.
https://ktvz.com/top-stories/2020/02/18/bid-to-shrink-oregon-enlarge-idaho-would-split-high-desert/

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Ah, the Sunshine State. America’s most penis shaped state of Florida is always good for bringing the insanity. And guns. Boy, do they have a lot of guns in Florida. Our 2018 Stupidest State champion has rebuilt their team and heavily armed them. Once again, as we have reported all around the country, Florida has seen a rise in the sale of guns. That is probably true anywhere, but Miami is going to be in for a very long and rocky ride through this whole pandemic.

The coronavirus pandemic is defining for the globe what's “essential” and what things we really can't do without, even though we might not need them for survival.

Attempting to slow the spread of the virus, authorities in many places are determining what shops and services can remain open. They're also restricting citizens from leaving their homes. Stay-at-home orders or guidance are affecting more than one-fifth of the world's population.

This has left many contemplating an existential question: What, really, is essential?

Whether it is in Asia, Europe, Africa or the United States, there's general agreement: Health care workers, law enforcement, utility workers, food production and communications are generally exempt from lockdowns.

But some lists of exempted activities reflect a national identity, or the efforts of lobbyists.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/29/whats-essential-in-us-golf-guns/

It’s good to know that in the age of pandemic that America has its’ priorities. Well, at least France’s are less violent. So what’s selling during this time of pandemic? Oh, just the essentials. Not so much food and anything necessary to survive. But instead, it loves guns, booze, and toilet paper. Yes, guns, booze, and toilet paper are what is selling. I’m going to need a lot more booze to get through this thing.

In tough times, we love toilet paper, guns and booze. Those are the obvious takeaways from the past few weeks.

TP remains elusive enough that an over-anxious Publix shopper elbowed me and the man in front of me to grab a 12-pack of the soft stuff on the weekend. Just the thought that he might not get one of the hundreds of packs lining the shelf sent him into survival mode. He nearly trampled a white-haired woman when he moved on to paper towels, also in abundant supply that day.

Gun shops report a brisk business, so brisk that popular calibers of ammunition are being rationed.

And then there’s alcohol. Apparently, shelter-in-place is a lot more palatable with a bottle of Jack Daniels — or three. Sales at stores nationwide were up nearly 28 percent for wine, 27 percent for liquor and 14 percent for beer in the week that ended March 14, according to Nielsen, which compiles data on what consumers watch and buy.

Virtual happy hours, where people visit with friends and family using video calling services like Zoom, appear to be helping prop up sales. Online scheduling platform Doodle recorded a 296 percent increase in the boozy meetings in March compared to February, CNBC reported.
https://www.tampabay.com/news/business/2020/03/30/florida-loves-its-toilet-paper-and-booze-during-hard-times/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: :[/font]

Oh my god, ladies and gentlemen, we have an upset brewing! Florida has trounced Oregon by a score of 25! And this might be the highest score of the tournament so far. Final score – 119 – 94! Both teams gave it their all, but the almighty Florida will advance.

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So Michigan is a longtime staple of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. If you want to see where the Koch and Heritage Foundation talking points are leading, look no further than the city of Flint, where the city still has no functioning water supply. And in this day and age, having viable drinking water is very important. They’re also hurting for money, and when Trump comes to town, he leaves behind a trail of destruction and debt.

Battle Creek released to the public how much it spent hosting President Trump for a rally in December.

The City spent approximately $93,000 on the presidential campaign rally.

According to the city, over 95 percent of that money was spent on staffing.

The rally was staffed by members of the fire department, police department, city building maintenance, The Department of Public Works, Battle Creek Executive Airport at Kellogg Field, and Battle Creek Transit.

The amount spent on staffing does not include the amount of time and resources used by salaried staff to plan for the event.

The city said the other 5 percent of costs were spent on supplies to make the event possible and safe, like barricades and cinder blocks, city vehicles, and translation into Spanish and Burmese.

The total cost estimated by the city does not include the cost of using the venue.

The city does not have to pay to use the venue, since they own it, but does have to pay for operation.
https://www.wilx.com/content/news/Battle-Creek-spent-93000-hosting-Trump-campaign-rally--567008211.html

So those MAGA rallies aren’t exactly all that they’re made out to be. But this is why elections matter – any other governor in the country would have succumbed to this, but Michigan has Gretchen Whitmer, who is proving to be one of the cooler heads through this tragedy. But yes, elections matter at every single level. Or else!

The Michigan Chamber of Commerce and other business groups are warning Gov. Gretchen Whitmer about potential repercussions of a blanket stay-at-home order that would force employers to temporarily halt operations.

Governors in California, Illinois and New York have already issued orders to keep people at home unless they have essential reasons for leaving in order to stem the spread of COVID-19. Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine on Sunday announced that he will enact an order to stay at home starting Tuesday. Supporters of the orders say they are key necessary to combat a virus that could overwhelm hospitals. On Friday, Whitmer said Michigan was not at the point "where a shutdown is needed."

Rich Studley, president and CEO of the Michigan Chamber, wrote a letter to Whitmer on Friday recommending, "at this time," against an order "that most if not all 877,000 businesses in Michigan should be closed while a select few are allowed to stay open."

"We cannot risk a disruption in the supply chain or a break in the distribution cycle," Studley wrote. "In addition, many businesses have non-interruptible operations and those operations need to be protected as we move forward.
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/2020/03/21/michigan-chamber-urges-no-blanket-stay-home-order/2892213001/

[font size="4"]Pennsylvania:[/font]

The Keystone State are long time conservative idiocy champions. They are home to two of the biggest cities in the country – Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. It’s also home to mountain towns and coal mining towns, all of which have been ransacked by reckless Koch policies. So here’s how much that line of thinking is hurting the Keystone State. Did you think that a diet tax on soda would stop people from drinking soda? No? Neither did we!

Philadelphia’s tax on soda and other sweetened beverages has not reduced residents’ consumption of such drinks, according to a new study.

Philadelphians reported a slight but not statistically significant decrease in sugary beverage consumption compared with residents of nearby cities without a tax, Drexel University researchers found in surveys taken before and after the tax took effect.

“We have ample evidence that sugary beverages are connected to type 2 diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, and other health issues, but we’re seeing that raising the price of sugary beverages may not impact consumers who don’t drink a lot of soda,” Amy Auchincloss, an associate professor at Drexel’s Dornsife School of Public Health, said in a statement about the research.

Philadelphia became the first large U.S. city to pass a tax on soda in 2016. Mayor Jim Kenney championed the tax as a means of funding pre-K, community schools, and improvements to parks, recreation centers, and libraries. Public health advocates praised Philadelphia’s levy and have pointed to taxes on soda as a means of reducing consumption and improving residents’ health.

Read more: https://www.inquirer.com/politics/philadelphia/philadelphia-soda-tax-drexel-study-20200227.html

Yeah so that happened. Even worse is when your travel budget is so overblown that you have to spend money to figure out how to spend money! Ever wonder why we’re in a bureaucracy? Well, let’s look at a level of money spending that is to figure out how a department spends money. It’s Inception, but for accountants and auditors!

Pennsylvania’s largest pension fund is auditing its travel expenses after reporting by the Capital-Star revealed opaque expense records for cross-country travel.

The Pennsylvania Public School Employees’ Retirement System board’s audit committee approved the deep dive Friday during a meeting in Harrisburg.

“We’re trying to make sure there is no independence question,” Rep. Frank Ryan, R-Lebanon, and chair of PSERS’ audit committee, said. Ryan said the report should focus on “operational red flags” in the travel, paid for by taxpayers and booked by an investment partner.

The committee’s request follows reporting by the Capital-Star that revealed limited expense records of travel to Los Angeles.

Read more: https://www.penncapital-star.com/government-politics/teacher-pension-fund-to-audit-travel-expenses-over-la-trips/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is: :[/font]

Ooh this is a close one, but Michigan is going to hang on to advance to Round 2. Final score – 83 – 77.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

It’s the final week of Round 1 and this time we’re live in Lexington, Kentucky at the home of the UK Wildcats, where Idaho goes stir crazy against South Carolina in a battle for Batshit supremacy, while over in the Family Values Conference, Indiana is praying for a win against Ohio and the right play Alabama in the conference championship! It’s getting exciting folks!

Thank you very much for being with us through this home edition! It’s unfortunately going to be like this for the next few weeks. But we will get through it! Yes, we will. See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
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Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

March 25, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-11: Do The Fauci Facepalm Edition (Mini edition!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-11: Do The Fauci Facepalm Edition (Mini edition!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well hello everyone. So of course as you know during the Great Quarantine that the Coronavirus has brought life as we know it to a literal stand still until we figure out, what the fuck is going on. There’s nothing. No concerts, no sporting events, no conferences, no conventions, no weddings, no funerals, no beach parties, and really no fun at all. There’s limited air travel. There’s no going out. I could go on and on. But you already know that. and this week we can’t bring you the full and proper Idiots that you know and love. But we will hopefully be back on April 1st. Which, in my opinion, can’t fucking get here soon enough. But as of right now all of our tour dates are being called off which sucks. And I will say that we will still bring you the comedy but from a much smaller scale than what you’re used to. At least for the remainder of this season. Hopefully as the news gets better and we will start to see the horrifying curve flatten we will get back to doing our program live as you know it. That said this week we’re going to bring back the mini edition of the Top 10 – we’re doing a Top 4. Because let’s face it, the Great Quarantine has just sucked, but there’s plenty of stupid people who still exist. And that’s what we’re here for ultimately isn’t it? We can at least laugh at the stupid. And there’s plenty of other conservative idiocy which we will get to. And I’m like you – the sooner things get back to some sort of normalcy, the better. But first normally this is where I would show a clip from a talk show but instead I will show one of my current favorite podcasts – The Christopher Titus Podcast and his take on what’s going on this week:

So this week our Top10 is being reduced to a Top 4. And there’s no live music to act as the palate cleanser this week or for the next couple. In the number one slot this week, we are going to have a new edition of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and this week, we’re profiling Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (1), who is doing an extremely poor job of shutting down Florida’s beaches during Spring Break and the pandemic. In the second slot this week, we’re going to show you some of the insane things going on during the Quarantine and how you can escape boredom or not in a piece that we’re calling “Quarantine Life” (2). In the third slot this week is an all new, stripped down Holy Shit (no gospel choir) and our resident pastor is going to tell you how the Christian right is dealing with the quarantine, and yeah, the response is exactly what we would expect. Finally this week it’s the next round of Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2! This week, it’s corporate greed vs the almighty gun. In the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #3 Tennessee takes on #4 Nebraska, while in the Gun Nut Conference, #3 New Mexico takes on #4 Missouri! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis: People Who Somehow Got Elected
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Florida governor Ron DeSantis. We’ve previously profiled Gov. DeSantis in previous installments. But this week, he took the insanity to an entire new world. While the rest of the country is on lockdown, Floridians and people visiting Florida have been partying at Spring Break. But in the last week, pictures have been emerging and have been well, unsettling in the day and age of COVID-19. And he’s not backing down. While the rest of the country is in a state of emergency, Florida is, well, confused as to what it wants to do. Because it is, after all, Florida. And what does that entitle exactly? Well, you’re on your own and SOL apparently.

When he took office on Jan. 8, 2019, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a Republican, declared: “I will only appoint judges who understand the proper role of the courts is to apply the law and Constitution as written, not to legislate from the bench.” Does DeSantis believe he’s also bound by the law? The answer appears to be no. On Monday, the governor will violate the state constitution. And it’s not a close question.

In November, Justices Barbara Lagoa and Robert Luck, whom DeSantis appointed to the Florida Supreme Court, resigned to take seats on a federal appellate court. The governor’s office issued a letter to convene the court’s judicial nominating commission, which vets applicants and sends a list of nominees to the governor, on Nov. 25. The JNC had 60 days from that date to send the governor a certified list of nominees. It did so on Jan. 23.

The Florida Constitution tells us in Article V, Subsection 11(c), what comes next: “The governor shall make the appointment within sixty days after the nominations have been certified to the governor.” (Emphasis added.) We all know what shall means: The governor must appoint new justices by or on March 23.

Yet DeSantis does not share that understanding of the simple word. As a result of the coronavirus pandemic, DeSantis declared a state of emergency on March 9. Last Thursday, the governor announced at a press conference that he was extending the deadline: “I will most likely delay, under the state of emergency, that deadline, probably push it back to May 1.” DeSantis claims that his time is better spent on the emergency, and that he hasn’t had time to read the nominees’ writings—but he has interviewed all of them.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/03/florida-coronavirus-ron-desantis-supreme-court.html

Yeah we might as well just cut Florida off and get on with it. No, we’re kidding. We love Florida. But we do not love Gov. Ron DeSantis, or his nearby fellow governor Tate Reeves. Who we will profile in a future edition. But Florida Gov. DeSantis is a crazy person. So as you can imagine Florida is handling this situation very poorly. And as you can imagine it’s taking him long enough.

The golden sands along Florida's coasts have long been one of the state's greatest resources, helping Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis oversee a tourism mecca that brings in more than $40 billion a year.

But as the coronavirus pandemic halts American life, those same sun-scorched beaches, and the crowds they draw, are currently at the heart of some of the harshest criticism aimed at him.

DeSantis has avoided issuing a statewide mandate to close the beaches in Florida, instead showing deference to local municipalities to make that decision. On Thursday, during a visit to a mobile coronavirus testing facility in South Florida, DeSantis issued his strongest condemnation of spring breakers partying on the beach.

"Spring break's done," he said of his order to limit gatherings on beaches to no more than 10 people. "Any place to go for bars and all this, done. They don't have a place to go."

DeSantis did not, however, close the beaches, arguing the choice on what to do about beaches "probably needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis."
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/19/politics/florida-coronavirus-beaches/index.html

The party should be the least of your worries right now. In fact if you think things can’t get any crazier in Florida right now, just take a look at what is happening at Florida airports. Rather than issue an out of state travel ban which is what should have been done, Florida instead is requiring a mandatory quarantine for travelers from one specific area. And that area happens to be New York City. Never mind if you’re from anywhere else. And it’s screwing up airports, which you can imagine, are already screwed up.

The Orlando International Airport on Tuesday said it supports Gov. Ron DeSantis’ executive order that mandates a 14-day quarantine for any travelers coming to Florida from New York, Connecticut and New Jersey, in an effort to slow the spread of coronavirus, although several questions remain about enforcing the measure.

“We support Gov. DeSantis’ order as a means to implement measures that promote the safety, security and health of our passengers and employees,” said Phil Brown, chief executive officer of the Greater Orlando Aviation Authority. “For our part, we mobilized quickly overnight (Monday) to accommodate the executive order and are prepared to work with the Department of Health in screening passengers as they arrive in Orlando.”

Orlando airport officials said there are about 45 daily direct flights from New York, Connecticut and New Jersey, receiving the majority of the airport’s domestic passengers from the northeast region, particularly the Greater New York area.

Airport leaders are currently coordinating with state health officials and the National Guard to finalize actions necessary to enforce the order, according to a news release.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/03/24/heres-what-orlando-airport-is-doing-after-florida-governor-issues-new-york-travel-order/

Yes, the party is over for Florida for the foreseeable future. But have no fear! It’s all good, according to Governor DeSantis! Just keep calm and go about your business. Because it’s no matter that the fears surrounding the coronavirus aren’t justified! No, it’s the economy, stupid! And that’s all that matters to fiscal conservatives. Which is exactly what Ron DeSantis is, and why things aren’t going to change in Florida in the future.

In a news conference Saturday, Gov. Ron DeSantis laid out some of his plans to fight the spread of the coronavirus in Florida, hoping to ease the worries of residents in the Sunshine State.

As of Saturday, the Florida Department of Health has reported 763 Florida-related cases of COVID-19, with the most confirmed cases in South Florida. According to the FDOH, 164 cases have been reported in Broward County. The governor said 156 cases have been confirmed in Miami-Dade County. Twelve Florida COVID-19 patients have died from the virus, according to the governor.

The surge to more than 750 Florida cases, reported by state officials at 6 p.m. Saturday, shows a spike of more than 50 cases since the Florida Department of Health’s 11 a.m. update on Saturday.

The department updates its numbers online at 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. daily.

As the number of cases in Florida continues to swell, the governor is revealing some of his plans to fight the further spread of the virus and give worried Floridians some peace of mind.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/2020/03/22/keep-cool-and-calm-down-florida-governor-aims-to-ease-coronavirus-worries/

With such pristine leadership as this, is it any wonder why we’re fucked? And it could all be because of Florida Gov. DeSantis, who is yet another in the ever long and growing list of:

[font size="8"]Quarantine Life
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OK, I lied, there really aren’t any upsides to quarantining. However, we here at the Top 10 urge you to help fight the spread and do your part. But you do get to see the sheer stupidity of people in a time of crisis like this. Like take for instance the daily press conferences that Trump has. So before we get into it, can we see that press conference from the other day?

https://twitter.com/Walldo/status/1241044023445524481

Wow, this is insane. That was the exact moment where Dr. Fauci litereally became the Kif Kroker to Trump's Zapp Branagin. I mean that's the face that says "Dude, you're a fucking idiot". Let’s all do the Fauci facepalm. And you want to know who else is a fucking idiot? Let’s take for instance, Gamestop. Are they really an “essential business” as some are saying? I mean really how badly do you need to play the latest edition of Borderlands? Most of us real gamers buy it from Steam anyways. But yeah let’s put our employees and stores at risk, because profit!

The video game retailer will only take orders digitally through its website or mobile apps. The customers will have the option of e-commerce deliveries or curbside pickups.

"This is an unprecedented time and each day brings new information about the COVID-19 pandemic," GameStop chief executive officer George Sherman said in a statement. "Our priority has been and continues to be on the well-being of our employees, customers and business partners."

GameStop further said that all its hourly employees affected by this decision would be paid two weeks' worth of their pay irrespective of the hours they are required to work.

The Dallas-based company added that it would also reimburse benefit-eligible employees with one month of expenses.
Why It Matters

The change in GameStop's response comes days after it courted controversy by claiming to be "essential retail" that needed to remain open during the COVID-19 pandemic, even as authorities across the country imposed shelter-in-place requirements.
https://www.benzinga.com/news/20/03/15627950/gamestop-changes-mind-and-decides-to-shut-down-all-us-stores-due-to-covid-19-pandemic-after-employee

Yeah you might as well take your money and light it on fire at this point. But if you’re wondering if Gamestop is the last of businesses like these in the time of pandemic, then you’re not wrong. But as the economy continues to tank in the age of coronavirus, Trump and his lackeys might be gearing up to do something ridiculously dumb that could result in a lot of people ending up dead. Yeah Trump supporters, the “Obamacare is going to kill your grandma” crowd is going to get a lot of this. Bet you wish you had Obamacare now didn’t you?

As the international response to the coronavirus ramps up, the inevitable damage to the world economy is unavoidable. While common sense and simple human decency would suggest that stemming the spread of infections at the price of the economy is worth it, there are some, namely conservative voices in America, who don’t exactly agree.

Writing in The Week this Tuesday, Noah Millman cites the example of CNBC host Rick Santelli, who said earlier this month that “maybe we’d be just better off if we gave [coronavirus] to everybody, and then in a month it would be over because the mortality rate of this probably isn’t going to be any different if we did it that way than the long-term picture.” According to Santelli, otherwise we’d be “wreaking havoc on global and domestic economies.”

Millman writes that this same philosophy is what caused the UK to come under an avalanche of criticism for its response to the outbreak. The logic for this line of thinking says that the elderly are not the economy’s most productive citizens, and the economic impact of them dying earlier might even be positive. Also, reserving more urgent medical treatment for the young and economically viable would prevent the health system from being overwhelmed.

“I hope nobody would be comfortable making an argument like that explicitly,” Millman writes. “But it lurks in the background of the all-purpose dismissiveness voiced by the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity about the seriousness of the virus (who are following the President’s lead in doing so), or in pieces like this one by Heather Macdonald at the conservative cultural journal The New Criterion.”

https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/some-conservatives-willing-to-sacrifice-the-elderly-to-save-the-economy-from-coronavirus-op-ed/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! As if that’s not bad enough, oh it gets much worse than that! You know what? Let’s stop talking about the bad news. I’m tired of it. I want to talk about some good news. Yeah Trump may kill 20% of the population if we’re not careful. But let’s put some good news in this entry. Although if you’re a guy or a hot woman looking to make some money and you live in the Portland area, strip clubs are turning to alternative ways to deliver the boobs and entertainment to otherwise deprived gentlemen during this time of pandemic.

Social distancing be damned—Portland will not go without its strippers, even during a global pandemic.

Lucky Devil Lounge is bringing its dancers to your door with a new food delivery service it's calling—wait for it—"Boober Eats."

"I originally did it at first as a joke," says club owner Shon Boulden, "and it got 150 shares on Facebook—like nothing we've ever had before. So I was like, 'Well shit, why don't we just try to do this?'"

Lucky Devil has a full food menu and non-alcoholic drinks, like ginger beer and Red Bull, available for delivery. The process is similar to many the home drop-off systems that have sprung up overnight as a way for restaurants and breweries to continue operating during the health crisis: Simply peruse the menu online, give the business a call and place your order.

The twist comes when your food shows up. Instead of being greeted a harried driver in jeans and a hoodie, your meal is hand-delivered by two dancers.

"They'll wear pasties and booty shorts, drop off the food, dance for a second and then we'll move along," Boulden says. "We'll still stay a reasonable distance back. They have Lysol as well."
https://www.wweek.com/bars/2020/03/17/a-portland-strip-club-has-started-a-meal-delivery-service-where-dancers-bring-food-directly-to-your-door-to-your-home/

Yeah we can imagine that it probably lasts at least that long! But there is some good news – if you’re bored out of your mind, and looking for something to do, there is a place you can go that you probably haven’t thought about in years. That’s right – your local drive thru! Yes, when the regular movie theater is closed, your drive through can provide a safe space that is very accurately socially distanced!

Jen Philhower, 48, a part-time office manager in Austin, Texas, is one of the many Americans adjusting to almost every group activity being canceled, as people move indoors and into isolation to avoid spreading the novel coronavirus.

“My youngest goes to wilderness school, and even that is closed,” she said. “When even playing in the woods is closed, things start to feel a little strange.”

So Ms. Philhower was surprised — ecstatic, even — to see one group entertainment venue still open for business: the Blue Starlite, a local drive-in movie theater currently allowing 35 to park at one time.

Located on a hill with the Austin skyline in the background, the theater resembles a “cool junkyard,” according to Josh Frank, the owner, who opened it a decade ago. Since the virus hit the United States, the theater has screened movies including “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Breakfast Club.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/24/style/drive-in-theaters-coronavirus.html

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Wichita! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

Well, my fair congregation, this is something new. As you can plainly tell, we are not at our current venue or comfort zone. Our regular church is not being held this week. So that means, no congregation, no choir, no band, and most importantly, no collection plate. I mean come on, this is a church. We are not above our GAWD, the almighty dollar. But we are most certainly not below it either. Running a church gets costly after all. But you got to remember that in this day and age where there’s a deadly plague ravaging the earth, that you got to pray it away. Because after all, that’s what GAWD would have wanted, wouldn’t he?

Amid the global COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, right-wing megachurch pastor Rodney Howard-Browne held Sunday services at his The River church in Tampa Bay, Florida, where he spent a good portion of his sermon spreading baseless conspiracy theories about the virus.

Howard-Browne, who was among evangelical leaders who laid hands upon and prayed over President Donald Trump in the Oval Office in 2017, insisted that holding services during the outbreak was a matter of constitutional principle and vowed to take the issue “all the way to the Supreme Court” should the government instruct churches to cease holding in-person services in an attempt to limit the spread of the coronavirus.

Repeatedly referring to the outbreak as a “phantom plague,” Howard-Browne insisted that the virus was created by the Chinese government while panic about it was fomented by the media because “they are run by the communists,” all in order to benefit “the money cartel” that supposedly made billions off the collapse of the U.S economy.

“So you produce this plague, you bring it into this country, and then it doesn’t have to be everywhere because the more they test, the more they’ll find people positive,” he said. “There’s a 75 percent chance that the positive [test] is actually a negative, and that’s the problem. The testing is not verifiable.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rodney-howard-browne-used-his-sunday-service-to-spread-coronavirus-conspiracy-theories/

And that devil, my friends, is Pastor Browne spreading some unbelievably stupid nonsense. You know in our last full and proper sermon, we pointed out how much fear and misinformation is out there in the open, and things can get really scary. But my fellow GAWD warriors are rallying around each other in these trying times. But this is the time when you shouldn’t be rallying around each other.

Dominionist Lou Engle called a three-day global fast to stop the coronavirus and prevent it from derailing prayer warriors’ plans for a series of rallies in tents and stadiums across the country between now and the U.S. presidential election.

In a message shared with Engle’s followers last Friday and promoted by CBN and the Elijah List newsletter Wednesday, Engle wrote, “It seems like a demonic force is fueling the rapid spread of the virus and the hysteria surrounding it.” He called for believers to fast from Wednesday to Friday.

Engle explained that he believes that 2020 “has been marked by the Holy Spirit as a year of Stadium Christianity and explosive advance of the Kingdom.” As Right Wing Watch has reported, a coalition of ministries is planning a series of events across the country, culminating in a march from land owned by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri, to Arrowhead Stadium for a rally organized by The Send just weeks before the election.

The Send is the successor organization to The Call, the banner under which Engle organized political prayer rallies for years. The Send held its first rally in Orlando in February 2019, followed by a multi-stadium event in Brazil this February that was attended by the country’s far-right president, Jair Bolsonaro. The Send had another rally scheduled in Argentina on April 25, but that country’s government has banned large gatherings to slow the spread of the coronavirus.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lou-engle-calls-for-three-day-fast-to-stop-coronavirus-and-save-stadium-prayer-rallies/

Yeah really people are dying and all you care about is people who pray in a stadium? Look at us, we’re just a janky operation in an auditorium. But is that really what GAWD would want? You’re not Billy Graham, sir. And in fact while most of the economy is going crazy amid the virus panic, when only essential businesses are open, you know what is considered an essential business? Hobby Lobby! Yes, the store where you can buy personalized knick knacks and Joanna Gaines’ latest biography, that’s essential!

As major U.S. retailers temporarily shut their doors to help contain the coronavirus, Hobby Lobby is assuring consumers that it's safe to keep shopping. The arts-and-crafts chain is keeping stores open in states that have yet to order non-essential businesses to close.

On its website, Hobby Lobby stated that it's taking measures to keep shoppers and workers from becoming infected, including "enhanced cleaning" and a ban on international travel.

"If an employee is suspected of having COVID-19 based on symptoms and/or known direct or indirect exposure, we will send that employee for medical care and to self-isolate at home, and will promptly coordinate with public health officials," the company, which has a total of 900 stores around the U.S., said.

<snip>

"We serve a God who will Guide us through this storm, who will Guard us as we travel to places never seen before, and who, as a result of this experience, will Groom us to be better than we could have ever thought possible before now," according to the publication, which included an image of the missive.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hobby-lobby-coronavirus-pandemic-retailers-close/

So they care more about stadium prayer rallies and keeping Hobby Lobby open than they do about the greater good of the human species! Now I’m certain that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would say otherwise about their stupidity. Now does it not say that in our Good Book? Why of course it does, I have it right here in my hand! But according to Christian “doctor” Steve Hotze, the easiest way to avoid the virus is to just not get it. See? It’s that simple!

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson interviewed religious-right activist Dr. Steve Hotze on his “The Awakening” radio program yesterday so his audience could hear from a “medical professional who also has a Christian worldview” about how best to respond to the current COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak.

Hotze, a long-time radical anti-LGBTQ activist in Texas, told Jackson’s listeners that they simply need to follow God’s instruction to keep their bodies healthy, which will give them a strong immune system that will prevent them from even contracting the disease.

Hotze said that despite recommendations to avoid personal contact to prevent the spread of the disease, “I shake every hand that I can because I want my immune system to be challenged every day so it builds strong health.”

“Am I crazy, or are they crazy?” Hotze asked, rhetorically. “Could I be right, and Harvard and all these CDC guys be wrong? Yeah, because they’re all conventional. They don’t talk about how you can keep yourself from getting sick … Why don’t you just not get it [the coronavirus]? Why don’t you just stay healthy?”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/steve-hotze-on-how-to-avoid-the-coronavirus-why-dont-you-just-not-get-it/

Yes, that’s right, sir! You are wrong, and not only that, you sound insane. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! We hope to be back live again real soon everybody! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back to Stupidest State 2020! Last week, it was Batshit and religion as both #1 seeds hung on to advance, with Virginia hanging on to defeat #2 Kentucky in a very close Batshit conference matchup. Meanwhile, our favorite Family Values champion and last year’s tournament champion Alabama routed Oklahoma to advance to the Elite 8! This week we’re live in Austin where it’s guns and greed! Over in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as #3 New Mexico takes on #4 Missouri, while in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, #3 Tennessee takes on #Nebraska! Let’s go live to the floor at the home of the Texas Longhorns, the Frank C. Irwin Events Center in fabulous Austin, Texas for all the action!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Semifinals: #3 Tennessee Vs #4 Nebraska[/font]

[font size="4"]Tennessee:[/font]

The Volunteer State has grown by leaps and bounds to become a favorite of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. It’s home to such metropolises as Nashville, Memphis, and Knoxville. Tennessee is home to the good ol’ Smoky Mountains which means that they are home to the coal mines. And with coal mines comes – can you guess what? Coal mine CEOS! Which have just ravaged the TN economy while making things safer for their pocketbooks. But that said, COVID-19 has just drastically altered the way thing are going for just about everybody. But the good news – if you lost your job working in the coal mines, you can get a new job as – wait for it – a pizza deliveryman! Yes, pizza is doing gangbuster business right now with everyone staying at home!

Domino's locations in the greater Nashville area are looking to fill 300 positions as in-store dining options are suspended due to the COVID-19 outbreak.

There are 60 locations in the area, including Columbia and Clarksville, that have part time and full time openings. The positions include delivery drivers, customer service representatives, assistant managers and managers.

In the effort of social distancing, Domino's is providing an option for contactless delivery. Carryout is also still an option to those who are interested.
https://www.newschannel5.com/news/nashville-area-dominos-adding-300-positions

Hey! How did that baby get a pizza? So unless your dream career involves owning a Dominoes franchise, you may be screwed for the foreseeable future. That said, if you’re a sanitation worker, your situation may also be fucked. Because as the entire world is emphasizing cleanliness in the wake of COVID-19, the mayor of Memphis is announcing a shockingly evil move:

Memphis Mayor Jim Strickland applied pressure to the Memphis City Council on Friday when he said the council's vote against raising trash rates could cost hundreds of sanitation workers their jobs and bring a significant cutback in services.

Without more revenue by Jan. 6, Strickland said 199 sanitation workers would lose their jobs along with 75 temporary employees — about half of the department's 500 workers. He also said no trash on the curb would be picked up and recycling would be reduced to once a month.

The mayor's announcement via his weekly email comes after his administration increased how often city contractors and sanitation workers pick-up trash left on the curb in May. To pay for this service expansion, which cleaned up Memphis in the months before an election, Strickland's administration used $15 million from the city's general fund.

In short, Memphis city government provided services without having secured a means of paying for them. And the bill is coming due Jan. 6.

Read more: https://www.commercialappeal.com/story/news/2019/12/06/mayor-jim-strickland-sanitation-worker-layoffs-possible-memphis-after-trash-rate-hike-fails-council/4352537002/

[font size="4"]Nebraska:[/font]

The Cornhusker State is home to farms as far as the eye can see. It’s also home to the major cities of Omaha and Lincoln. It’s also home to the University Of Nebraska. It’s home to one of my all time favorite bands, and friend of the show, 311. But how is Nebraska taking it lately? Well like most states in the Midwest, Nebraska has been ransacked by Koch policies and Heritage Foundation talking points. So much in fact that the University Of Nebraska recruited some outside help in getting their new hospital wing off the ground, and we’re going to need a lot more of those where that came from!

With demand for outpatient services growing faster than anticipated, Madonna Rehabilitation Hospitals will build a new, $3.8 million physicians clinic at its Omaha campus.

A clinic has been in the plans since before the Omaha hospital opened in the Village Pointe area in October 2016. But demand for outpatient services has outpaced needs assessments conducted before construction began. Last year alone, staff treated more than 900 patients on an outpatient basis, more than had been anticipated.

“The numbers dictated that we move now as opposed to waiting,” said John Glenn, the hospital system’s vice president of development.

The clinic also will benefit the training program for medical doctors specializing in physical rehabilitation that Madonna created in partnership with the University of Nebraska Medical Center by providing a dedicated space for those physicians to see patients. The physical medicine and rehabilitation residency, launched in 2018, is the first of its kind in a five-state, upper Midwest region. Establishing a local residency program was seen as key in reducing the state’s shortage of such specialists.

Read more: https://www.omaha.com/livewellnebraska/health/madonna-plans-to-build-million-physicians-clinic-at-its-omaha/article_9d42f30c-0e4d-5b34-9728-8e68467ebf3d.html

And by the way if you are wondering just how much Koch policies have ransacked Nebraska, well, let’s keep in mind that their chief export is corn. And their chief import is well, also corn. In fact there’s so much corn in Nebraska that people are actually seeing it as a sign of some extreme climate change in the state. Just think when religious zealots think that they can actually change the weather, there might be some truth to that!

Corn farmers in Eastern Nebraska have long claimed weather patterns are changing, but in an unexpected way.

“It’s something I’ve talked about with my dad and grandad many times,” says fifth-generation corn farmer Brandon Hunnicutt. Along with his father and brother, the 45-year-old lives in the 400-person village of Giltner and grows about 2,000 acres of corn each year. From above, the area looks like a blip of homes surrounded by an expansive grid of circular fields. Though Brandon’s grandfather is retired, he takes an active interest in the business. “Contrary to what you’d think should be happening, both him and my dad swear up and down [that] droughts used to come more often and be a lot worse,” says Hunnicutt. “Considering it’s been 30 years since we had a really bad one, I’ve started kind of taking them at their word.”

This is not the only noticeable development—University of Nebraska climatologists say the growing season has gotten 10-14 days longer since 1980. Hunnicutt now waits until the first weeks of November to pilot his 40-foot-wide, dump-truck-sized combine through the farm’s widely arching, seemingly endless rows of corn—enough to cover 800 city blocks.

Though subtle, the Hunnicutts have noticed these changes and more.
https://www.wired.com/story/corn-fields-are-making-it-rain-more/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first upset of the tournament brewing! Nebraska easily hands Tennessee the loss by returning 10 unanswered points! Final score – 87 – 77!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Semifinals: #3 New Mexico vs #4 Missouri[/font]

[font size="4"]New Mexico:[/font]

If you’re a fan of recent TV like I am, you know that the Land Of Enchantment is the home of Walter White, Gustavo Fring, and Saul Goodman. Oh wait, that was Breaking Bad, and Better Call Saul. And there’s a reason why Vince Gilligan chose New Mexico as the home of one of the best shows on TV in the last decade. It’s home to guns and crime, and lots of them. So much in fact that there’s panic buying of guns setting up in wake of COVID-19. It is going to get very ugly very quickly.

In Santa Fe, bullets may be as hard to come by as toilet paper and hand sanitizer.

Gun stores in the area have reported a surge in sales after the outbreak of COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus, leading to a shortage of some items that rarely go out of stock.

The three firearm retailers in Santa Fe – Big R Stores, Big 5 Sporting Goods and The Outdoorsman of Santa Fe – all had long lines of people waiting to buy new guns or ammunition. Nearly everyone was talking about the virus.

“It’s been like this for the past 2½ weeks,” said Bill Roney, owner of The Outdoorsman. “It’s absolutely insane.”

Roney said the rush to buy firearms is happening across the nation, as evidenced by the long wait times for the FBI to perform background checks.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1433240/gun-ammo-sales-surge-in-santa-fe.html

Who still has an overhead toilet in this day and age? But sigh… this is exactly why we cant have nice things. We’re in the middle of the worst pandemic in an entire century that has upended lives as much as it’s destroyed them, and your first thought is to go get a gun? I mean really you must have some fucked up priorities. At least New Mexico is telling the gun nuts where to stick it.

New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham signed into law Tuesday legislation that will allow courts to order the temporary seizure of firearms from individuals deemed a danger to themselves or others.
"The Legislature had the strength to pass this measure because we all recognize: Enough is enough," Lujan Grisham said in a statement. "This law is sensible and balanced. It is a good public safety measure. If it saves even one life, and it will, we will have done good work here."
Dubbed the Extreme Risk Firearm Protection Order Act, the law adds New Mexico to a list of 17 other states that have passed similar "red flag" laws, allowing law enforcement to take away weapons from at-risk individuals.
The laws have faced heavy backlash -- from both gun rights activists and law enforcement officials who say the measures violate residents' Second Amendment rights and don't follow due process.

In a public letter over the weekend, the head of the New Mexico Sheriffs' Association, Tony Mace, wrote that red flag laws don't allow gun owners to defend themselves against an initial confiscation order.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/26/politics/new-mexico-governor-red-flag-gun-law/index.html

[font size="4"]Missouri:[/font]

The Show Me State is the home you know of course to such major cities as Branson, St. Louis and Kansas City. Which are the home to the World Champion Kansas City Chiefs. Of course if you are a Trump fan, you know that Kansas City is in Kansas. But that’s neither here nor there. Missouri is also the original home of Black Lives Matter. And the reason why Missouri is such a repeat offender in the Gun Nut Conference is that it has some of the loosest gun laws in the entire country. Everybody and their mother, and probably grandmother, is packing some heat. And I do mean everyone!

More than 170 firearms seized or recovered by police during an eight-month period last year were purchased from a single St. Louis-area pawn shop, federal authorities said in announcing charges against three men connected to the shop.

Carlos Jones, 31; Robert Thornton, 36; and Steven Johnson, 44, were charged Thursday with unlawful transfer of firearm to a convicted felon and making false statements on firearm records. All three men worked at Piazza Jewelry and Pawn in Overland, Missouri, a St. Louis suburb.

The federal complaint said the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives traced 170 seized and recovered guns to sales at the pawn shop, with 102 of those guns recovered in the city of St. Louis. ATF Special Agent Chad Foreman wrote in an affidavit released Thursday that six of the confiscated guns were used in homicides, four in robberies, 20 in weapons offenses, and were found in 36 cases in which a prohibited person was in possession of a firearm.

ATF agents conducted an undercover investigation in October through December that revealed guns were often sold to "straw" purchasers who then provided the firearms to others, the criminal complaint alleged.
https://www.ky3.com/content/news/170-seized-and-recovered-guns-traced-to-Missouri-pawn-shop-568565161.html

Damn you know things are bad when even Marge is packing some heat! But we don’t have to tell you that in these troubled times, gun sales are surging. But here’s why people need to get their guns in check is because in Missouri, pretty much anything goes. And there’s some groups of people who probably should have their guns taken away. Domestic offenders are one of those groups.

People with domestic violence convictions and orders of protection against them will soon be banned from carrying concealed guns in St. Louis County, Missouri, according to a vote this week from the county council that was sharply split along party and gender lines.

The four women on the council who are all Democrats, voted yes at Tuesday's meeting, while the three men on the council, who are all Republicans, voted no.

Councilman Tim Fitch said at the meeting that the bill would "take a federal felony charge and make it an ordinance violation," or essentially a "ticket."

"While it may look good on a campaign brochure," Fitch said, "it's going the opposite direction."
https://abcnews.go.com/US/st-louis-county-ban-domestic-violence-offenders-carrying/story?id=69255128

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Ooh this is a close one here. Coming right down to the wire, New Mexico has it, shoots… they score!!! Oh man, Missouri got robbed. New Mexico moves on. Final score 75 – 72.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3! And we are live at the home of the New Orleans Pelicans, the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, LA, for all the action! The battle to go for broke continues as the Wolverines in #1 Michigan take on red hot #2 Pennsylvania! Meanwhile, over in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as #1 Oregon takes on perennial favorites in #2 Florida! The Elite 8 is shaping up folks!

Thank you for indulging us with this mini edition! We should be back with a return to the full and proper Idiots you know and love on April 1st! See you next week!

Credits

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March 18, 2020

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-10: Sorry Folks, Humanity Is Closed Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-10: Sorry Folks, Humanity Is Closed Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Holy fucking shit. I mean seriously, we take one week off and it is literally the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine. Yeah that’s the kind of joke that gets lost when you have no live audience. So is this one – Sorry folks, humanity is closed! Moose out front should have told you! But we’re not here to make fun of the situation at hand, because how can you? There’s nothing good in the news right now and it’s all bad, and will probably get worse before it gets better. So what we’re here to do is to lighten the load. We’re all in this together and we’re all holed up together so we might as well make the best of it. Now how this is going to work, is that we already had a couple of rounds of Stupidest State in the can when we were putting together this week’s edition and that was of course before the world went to shit. Now will things resume and we will get back to some sort of normalcy? Who knows? Or will we fall into some sort of weird dystopian Mad Max Fury Road / Avengers Endgame / Terminator 3 scenario? There’s no telling because the people in charge are completely full of shit. Don’t worry, we will get back to making fun of them as soon as we possibly can. And our original plan this week was to have it be all about the virus, but the news is just too god damn depressing to make fun of. And it changes literally every minute, we don’t know what’s going to happen and we don’t have the kind of time and resources to figure it out. So instead we’re going to do the opposite and make this completely virus free. And we’re going to make this a hybrid Best Of / New Content edition. Because like us, you’re probably sick of talking about the virus. So this week, instead, it’s our civic duty to give you a break from all the madness. And how this is going to work is that we’re going to open up the Top 10 Mail Bag and take your suggestions for some of the best things we’ve done from all of the Top 10s. And as I said in my announcement last week, what’s the point of doing live comedy without a live audience? There isn’t any. That said, that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses your local sheriff and he’s probably the most corrupt POS out there:

Well so as I said we’re taking your requests this week. Since we can’t do this in front of a live audience like we normally do, we are going to be combing the archives dating all the way back to Idiots #1 and taking your requests! And can I reveal a secret for season 9 when we start back? We have a new home spot! We left our home at the UCB Theater in Hollywood and we’re packing up and moving to the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, that will be our new home spot! Well in the first slot, from Idiots #6-1, what is Trump’s (1) obsession with the show Game Of Thrones? We will do a deep dive into this subject and he most likely doesn’t get the reference. In the second slot, from Idiots #5-2, remember when last year the worst thing we had to worry about was that crazy plan to split California into 3 states (2)? Tetridge Farm remembers! Taking the third slot this week, from Idiots #3-13, remember when Rush Limbaugh (3) mocked the victims of a hurricane? Yeah so do we! Real Medal Of Freedom recipient right there! At slot #4, from Idiots #4-5, we’re going to introduce you to Arthur Jones (4) who is an actual, certified, real life Illinois Nazi. Where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? Taking the 5th slot, from Idiots # is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and remember when the worst thing that could kill you was your breakfast? Yeah Tetridge Farm remembers! At slot #6 this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) from Idiots #5-21, our resident pastor asks the question “Is CNN Satanic?” (spoiler alert! Probably). Taking the seventh slot this week, from Idiots #7-22, music fans will probably remember the beef last year when Billie Eilish was questioned by Jimmy Kimmel and people were surprised to learn that she didn’t know who Van Halen was. But really, Eddie Van Halen probably doesn’t know who Van Halen was. In the number 8 slot this week, from Idiots #8-7, with the start of the XFL we wonder how the XFL is still a thing and right now no it isn’t but we wish it was. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have an all new People Are Dumb! Because we can at least laugh at stupid people right? Finally this week, it’s time to commence Stupidest State 2020! And this week it’s Round 1 Week 1! We are live at the home of the Colorado Avalanche, Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado, for all the action action action! In the Batshit Conference, it’s a battle for the league’s best as #1 ranked Virginia takes on old school rivals #2 Kentucky! Meanwhile it’s a Family Values faceoff as last year’s champions and conference favorite #1 Alabama take on the extremely hot #2 Oklahoma Sooners! And the palate cleanser after all of this, from that time our good friends the Dropkick Murphys stopped by! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]

[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
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From: Idiots #6-1

Sandra Y. from Yuma City, AZ asks:

“Hey Top 10, do you have any suggestions of things we can watch while we’re in isolation?”

Well, Sandra, our president has a suggestion, but something tells me he hasn’t seen a single episode!

Man does it feel good to be back everyone! And we picked the right city to debut the 6th season of the Top 10! As usual, whenever the Top 10 is out on an extended break like we were over the Christmas and New Year’s holiday, we like to play catch up on stuff we missed. Because we live in an era where there’s literally batshit crazy stuff happening every minute of every day. And whew, did we miss a lot! See, we may take a holiday but conservative idiocy definitely does not! I mean Trump pretty much spent Christmas and his favorite holiday – New Year’s Eve – pretty much all alone in the White House by himself. I know usually we need the Sad Hulk music for this one but we really need something much sadder.

Yeah there we go! So how did Trump spend the most merry and jolliest of holidays?

At what age do children wonder whether Santa really exists?
President Donald Trump would like to know.

In a Christmas Eve call, Trump asked a 7-year-old named Collman Lloyd whether the child still believes in Santa Claus.
"Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it's marginal, right?" Trump asked Collman.

Collman's response, though inaudible to the press, left Trump with a chuckle and a smile.
The call came around 6:30 p.m. Monday as the President and first lady Melania Trump spoke on separate phones to children whose calls to NORAD had been patched through to the White House lines.

In front of a crackling fire and between two Christmas trees, Trump wished Collman a Merry Christmas and asked the child's age and Christmas plans and wondered how school was going.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/25/politics/trump-santa-phone-call/index.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That’s right – Trump literally asked a 7 year old kid what age it’s acceptable to stop believing in Santa! And by the way – no he didn’t show up in Florida for his annual Mar-A-Shithole NYE bash. But guess what? Even club patrons think that place is much more pleasant when he’s not around!

Palm Beach is a little town that parties big, and the biggest party of the year is Donald Trump’s New Year’s revel at Mar-a-Lago. The president may have been born in June, but he is a true Scorpio who lives to get even, and Mar-a-Lago’s mammoth annual event is in some measure an expression of pure revenge.

To understand that one must go back to the mid-eighties, when Trump and his then wife Ivana arrived in Palm Beach. It would only have been natural that the couple join the exclusive Bath and Tennis Club, which lies on the ocean just across South Ocean Boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. But when Ivana talked to the club’s president, James Oelsner, about applying for membership, Oelsner says he told her they best not bother. Her husband, he said, was so controversial that they would surely be blackballed. Trump says he didn’t join the B&T because the club restricted Jews and blacks, but the fact is he wasn’t wanted, and he knew it.

Trump obtained his vehicle for revenge against the Palm Beach establishment when, a decade later, he turned Mar-a-Lago into a club with a majority Jewish membership. He brought in world class entertainment and, for New Year’s Eve, put on a gloriously over-the-top event. Across the road, the ladies and gentlemen of the B&T had their parties too, but theirs had all the panache of a ladies tea. Many of the WASPS were rhythmically challenged, and as they shuffled across the dance floor, the exuberant sounds of rock ‘n roll wafted across the boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. It just wasn’t fair that many of these B&T evenings were sedately boring while not three hundred yards away, the island’s unwanted newcomers were having more fun.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/12/mar-a-lago-new-years-eve

We can only imagine that was his reaction as the countdown clock reached midnight on 12/31. I mean come on, one NYE you’re partying with mobsters, the next NYE, you’re eating cheeseburgers in bed yelling at the fake news media and tweeting about your haters and losers. Yes that did happen!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080088373451206656

Whoa, hey, take your caps lock off, man! This is the new year we’re talking about here, no need to get angry! Well maybe he was mad when this story broke:

Three weeks after the 9/11 attacks, Vice President Dick Cheney was already trying to tie the horror to Iraq. He floated a bogus story that earlier in 2001, Mohammad Atta, ringleader of the terrorist attacks, had met in a Prague cafe with an Iraqi intelligence official.

Now another shadowy meeting in Prague that may or may not have taken place is in the news.

On Dec. 27, McClatchy DC—a reputable news outlet that broke the most important stories about the Iraq War—reported that cell phone tower records obtained by foreign intelligence sources place Michael Cohen (or at least his phone) in Prague in the late summer of 2016. The story says this information, as well as the fruits of electronic eavesdropping by an Eastern European intelligence agency that picked up discussion among Russians of Cohen’s presence in Prague, are now in the possession of the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

If the McClatchy story is true, it has huge implications for Donald Trump's survival in the presidency. But that’s a major if; unlike many other scoops about the Mueller probe, no other outlet has been able to confirm McClatchy’s reporting. And the McClatchy reporters have made it clear that they have no corroborating evidence of their claims and that some of their sources are indirect at best.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/is-the-michael-cohen-prague-story-true

I think it’s a little too late for that, Donny! And we’ll get to the 119th Congress in a minute. But really there is an actual conspiracy being involved here, and no, it doesn’t involve a super secret ring of underground elite pedophiles who are engaged in satanic human trafficking! Nope. I mean Trump really thinks he’s playing a Game of Thrones here. This is more like a Game Of Groans!

What's Trump doing with that Game Of Thrones poster? Does he even know what Game Of Thrones is? I can't imagine he has an HBO subscription. For a guy who doesn't read and wouldn't know pop culture references if they jumped up and bit him, Game Of Thrones is way too advanced for him! Maybe he should start with the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series and work his way up! We’re going to build a wall along the North and make the Stormlands pay for it. It’s gonna be huge, believe me!

When President Trump tweeted out a meme of his envisioned steel-slat wall with the words, “THE WALL IS COMING” over the weekend, many fans of “Game of Thrones” accused the president of never actually watching the hit HBO series.

In the series, the enormous wall of ice protecting the Seven Kingdoms from encroaching wildlings is — spoiler alert — eventually destroyed, which is presumably not the end result Trump envisions along the southern border. But Trump’s allusion to the “Game of Thrones” wall is all the more curious for another reason.

The fictional “Game of Thrones” barrier is actually based on a real wall. In fact, it’s one of the most famous walls in ancient Western civilization — one that may hold a lesson for Trump. A massive wall, said historian David Frye, is nothing without an equally massive investment in upkeep and patrol. That fact is evident in the true story of Hadrian’s Wall, the inspiration behind the fictional frozen wall in “Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin, the author of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” that inspired “Game of Thrones,” has previously revealed that he was standing atop Hadrian’s Wall in 1981, imagining himself as a second-century Roman soldier, when he had the idea for his wall.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/01/08/an-ancient-border-wall-inspired-game-thrones-barrier-trumps-meme-does-it-hold-any-lessons/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.761f68e7bad7

[font size="8"]CalExit
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From: [link:https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210763459 } Idiots #5-2]

Jim P. from Colombus, OH says:

“Hey Top 10, why do conservatives hate California so much? I know you live there, but we cannot figure it out.”

Well, Jim, neither can we. And we especially can’t forget the time that they attempted to divide us into 3 states, which still would have backfired on them.

OK moving on. This is a comedy show, not a horror show. So where do we go next? If you haven’t noticed there is a war going on for the future of my home state of California, and no, it’s not a good thing, sir. So for those of you who don’t live in my great state, there’s a war on the liberalism of this state and a plan to split California into 3 states and while we have mainly just talked about it, this could become a reality in November.

Troublemaker Tim Draper’s latest proposal to split California into three states has some appeal for Northerners. At least it does for me.

That doesn’t mean it’s a smart idea. It’s impractical, a fantasy and doomed. But it does have an allure.

In November, Californians will have an opportunity to vote on whether to split the state in thirds because the venture capitalist’s initiative qualified for the ballot last week. So this is no longer just an idea for idle chit-chat. It’s potentially achievable, if highly remote.

Look, here’s one attraction for a Sacramentan: The new “Northern California” would be the second-wealthiest state in the nation, ranking only below Connecticut in terms of per capita personal income. The Legislative Analyst’s Office pegged it at $63,000, based on 2015 data, the latest available. For the entire state it was $54,000.

That wealth is because of the San Francisco Bay Area, especially Silicon Valley.

What it means is there’d be fewer people unemployed and on public assistance than in the other two new states: Los Angeles-dominated “California” and weirdly drawn “Southern California.” There’d be less northern tax money spent on the safety net and more for universities, transportation, parks and other lifestyle goodies.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-ca-skelton-california-three-states-proposal-20180618-story.html

We already did that one. But I guess it’s that new theater smell. Yeah we’re still working out the kinks of our new set. But anyway this whole plan to split California into 3 states is certifiably insane and its’s nothing more than a partisan power grab. I mean we’re dealing with people who would literally take candy from a baby, and they don’t need an excuse.

This November, Californians will head to the polls to vote on a peculiar ballot measure that asks, "Hey, how do you feel about splitting into three states?"

This is really happening.

A proposal to divide California into three states — Northern California, California, and Southern California — qualified this week to appear on the ballot in November's general election. It received over 458,000 valid signatures, more than the number required by state law to get on the ballot, thanks to an ambitious campaign called Cal 3 and financial backing from Silicon Valley tycoon Tim Draper, an early investor in Tesla and Skype.

If a majority of California voters who cast ballots agree to divvy up the state into three, the plan would then go onto the US Congress for approval.

There's bad news for anyone in support of this initiative: Even if the measure gathers enough support at the polls, it would still be incredibly difficult for California to pull off.

All states have a special process for amending their state constitution. In some states, two houses of congress need need to approve a ballot measure before residents get a chance to weigh in at the polls. California is an oddball. The state's initiative process lets a vote by the people pass a measure into law, without the blessing of the state legislatures.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/incredibly-difficult-california-split-three-150000134.html

If *ONLY* we could call it High Cal and Lo Cal, that would be hilarious. Of course most people don’t vote for comedy. But this guy is doing it because one, he’s a billionaire with a lot of money to blow. I mean why can’t these guys ever spend their money for good? Instead they have to spend it on some evil shit, and this is about as evil and stupid as it gets. It’s basically a giant “fuck you” to liberals.

A Silicon Valley billionaire has amassed enough signatures to have his proposal splitting California into three parts on the state’s ballot in November.

Venture Capitalist Timothy Draper filed more than 402,468 valid signatures in all of the state’s counties for his proposal, qualifying it for the general election ballot in November, California’s Secretary of State said on Tuesday. Draper had actually garnered 605,026 signatures; a random sampling found 76 percent were projected to be valid.

Under the proposal, which Draper submitted to the state Attorney General’s office last September, California would be split into: Northern California, which would consist of 40 counties; California, which would be composed of six counties, including Los Angeles; and Southern California, which would house the remaining 12 counties. If the state’s residents vote for the proposal, California’s legislature would have a year, beginning in January of 2019, to implement it.

“The citizens of the whole state would be better served by three smaller state governments while preserving the historical boundaries of the various counties, cities, and towns,” Draper wrote to the Attorney General’s office when explaining his proposal.
http://time.com/5311037/california-ballot-initiative-split-state/

Excuse me a minute… yeah this guy will probably be the poster boy for why we have videos about why this is a bad idea in the future. But what does this mean? Why even have an initiative this batshit crazy on the ballot? Like we said some men just like to watch the world burn. And most of those men are republicans. But this is crazy, evil and stupid at the same time.

This November, Californians will head to the polls to vote on a peculiar ballot measure that asks, "Hey, how do you feel about splitting into three states?"

This is really happening.

A proposal to divide California into three states— Northern California, California, and Southern California — qualified last week to appear on the ballot in November's general election. It received over 458,000 valid signatures, more than the number required by state law to get on the ballot, thanks to an ambitious campaign called Cal 3 and financial backing from Silicon Valley tycoon Tim Draper, an early investor in Tesla and Skype.

If a majority of California voters who cast ballots agree to divvy up the state into three, the plan would then go onto the US Congress for approval.

There's bad news for anyone in support of this initiative: Even if the measure gathers enough support at the polls, it would still be incredibly difficult for California to pull off.
http://www.businessinsider.com/how-california-could-become-three-states-cal3-ballot-measure-2018-6

[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
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From: Idiots #3-13

Rashan V.. from San Jose, California asks:

“What did Rush Limbaugh do to deserve the Presidential Medal Of Freedom?”

Well, Rashan, there’s no real reason why Trump does anything he does. But he does love awarding those who kiss his ass, even if they say terrible things like this.

You know in all the editions of the Top 10 so far I don’t think we’ve ever had Rush Limbaugh as a featured entry at all. But that’s about to change. Because this week, Rush Limbaugh proved he’s one of the biggest cowards on the planet. And also one of the stupidest idiots on the planet. I wonder if when Al Franken was writing his book “Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot” if he ever pictured the GOP’s Jabba The Hutt doing something like this?

Conservative icon, radio giant, and Palm Beach resident Rush Limbaugh suggested to his listeners today that the media and meteorologists are exaggerating the threat from Hurricane Irma. In a breathtakingly irresponsible monologue that literally could put lives at risk and directly contradicts virtually every government official and expert of all ideologies, Limbaugh said the attention on Irma is largely driven by political and business agendas:

...So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere. All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.

Now, how do you do this? Well, any number of ways. Let’s take south Florida television, for example. There is symbiotic relationship between retailers and local media, and it’s related to money. It revolves around money. You have major, major industries and businesses which prosper during times of crisis and panic, such as a hurricane, which could destroy or greatly damage people’s homes, and it could interrupt the flow of water and electricity. So what happens?

Well, the TV stations begin reporting this and the panic begins to increase. And then people end up going to various stores to stock up on water and whatever they might need for home repairs and batteries and all this that they’re advised to get, and a vicious circle is created. You have these various retail outlets who spend a lot of advertising dollars with the local media.
http://www.tampabay.com/florida-politics/buzz/2017/09/06/rush-limbaugh-warnings-about-irma-inflated-to-advance-climate-change-agenda/

Excuse me a minute…

OK back to the subject at hand. OK so he claims that the hurricane Irma, one of the largest hurricanes in recorded history, is a liberal hoax. Uh… did you see some of the destruction coming out of St. Maarten?

SAN JUAN, P.R. — One of the most powerful Atlantic hurricanes ever recorded crescendoed over the Caribbean on Thursday, crumpling islands better known as beach paradises into half-habitable emergency zones and sideswiping Puerto Rico before churning north. It is expected to hit the Florida Keys and South Florida by Saturday night.

More than 60 percent of households in Puerto Rico were without power. On St. Martin, an official said 95 percent of the island was destroyed. The Haitian government called for all agencies, stores and banks to shut down as the storm hit. Prime Minister Gaston Browne of Antigua and Barbuda said that half of Barbuda had been left homeless.

Watching Hurricane Irma maraud across Barbuda and Anguilla, residents of Florida and others who found themselves on the wrong side of the forecast were hastening to get out of the way. Government officials in Florida, Georgia and South Carolina pleaded for people to evacuate vulnerable areas, triggering a scramble for the essentials — gasoline, water, sandbags — that, even for hurricane-hardened Floridians, was laced with dread and punctuated with dire warnings from every direction.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/07/us/destruction-caribbean-irma-florida.html

Yeah there’s nothing funny about that so we wont try to make anything funny out of it. But what we can make fun of is Limbaugh’s decision to skip town.

Rush Limbaugh will be evacuating South Florida, just days after the popular conservative radio host claimed that Hurricane Irma would not hit the United States and that scientists and the liberal media were hyping up the hurricane as proof of their global warming “lie.”

“So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere,” Limbaugh said on his show Tuesday. “All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.”
https://thinkprogress.org/limbaugh-to-evacuate-south-florida-after-claiming-irma-was-a-hoax-cb3fb5fb35b8/

Oh and did we mention how dangerous and reckless this was? No?

NBC meteorologist Al Roker clashed with Rush Limbaugh on Wednesday after the conservative radio host suggested warnings about Hurricane Irma were driven by political agendas around climate change.

The longtime "Today" personality took to Twitter to slam Limbaugh in two tweets while using a #ShameOnRush hashtag in a message to his 1.7 million followers.

"Do not listen to @rushlimbaugh when he says #Irma is not a dangerous #storm and is hype. He is putting people's lives at risk," wrote the 63-year-old Roker.

"To have @rushlimbaugh suggest the warnings about #Irma are #fake or about profit and to ignore them borders on criminal. #ShameOnRush," he wrote in subsequent tweet.

Read more: http://thehill.com/media/349502-al-roker-shames-limbaugh-for-dismissal-of-hurricane-irma-panic

To which of course crybaby Rush blabbed to the “mainstream media” (natch) that – gasp – the media lies!!! The horror!!!

Nationally syndicated radio host Rush Limbaugh slammed the media for what he called its "lies and misstatements" over his comments about there being "no reason to panic" in Florida over Hurricane Irma last week.

"I'm going through one of the greatest smears of my career," said Limbaugh to kick off his program on Monday. "This is all over the place that I told people there's no storm. That I told people you don't have to run away from Florida. You don't have to evacuate because I said the storm wasn't coming. I did not say that. I didn't say the storm is not big. I didn't say the storm was going somewhere else. (The media) did.

"There isn't a thing I said about this that anybody can prove that I was wrong about," the best-selling author added.

Limbaugh showed long-range forecasts from 7-10 days ago that showed some possible storm tracks putting Irma further out in the Atlantic before hitting South Carolina or North Carolina and not Florida.

http://thehill.com/homenews/media/350089-limbaugh-slams-media-lies-and-misstatements-over-irma

[font size="8"]Arthur Jones
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From: Idiots #4-5

Sarah H. from Peoria, IL asks:

“Hey Top 10 I love your show. I’m about to put on one of my favorite movies, the Blues Brothers, and I remember – wasn’t there an actual Illinois Nazi running for office?”

Well thank you Sarah! We depend on viewers like you. And yes, you are right, there was an Illinois Nazi running for office!

“Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.” – Jake Blues

Well, where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? Because we’re going to introduce you to an actual Illinois Nazi. And when you guess what party he’s affiliated with, the answer will shock you. Or maybe not if you have been following this program for any length of time. This guy is a real gem too, and not only does he look like a bad rendering of Mr. Magoo, his ugliness will leave a bad taste in your mouth, because… whew.

Arthur Jones — an outspoken Holocaust denier, activist anti-Semite and white supremacist — is poised to become the Republican nominee for an Illinois congressional seat representing parts of Chicago and nearby suburbs.

“Well first of all, I’m running for Congress not the chancellor of Germany. All right. To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,” Jones told the Chicago Sun-Times.

Indeed, Jones’ website for his latest congressional run includes a section titled “The ‘Holocaust Racket’” where he calls the genocide carried out by the German Nazi regime and collaborators in other nations “the biggest blackest lie in history.”

Jones, 70, a retired insurance agent who lives in suburban Lyons, has unsuccessfully run for elected offices in the Chicago area and Milwaukee since the 1970s.
https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/holocaust-denier-arthur-jones-republican-3rd-congressional-district-lipinski-newman/

Yeah sorry Jake, but this guy is definitely *NOT* on a mission from god. I’d say he’s more on a mission from Satan. He’s already got the Nazi trifecta – holocaust denier, white supremacist, and an activist anti-Semite. Can he go for the superfecta?

“Well, first of all, I’m running fo Congress not the chancellor of Germany,” Mr Jones said in an interview with the Chicago Sun-Times. “To me the Holocaust is what I said it is: It’s an international extortion racket,”

He went on to describe how he led the American Nazi Party and is currently head of the America First Committee. “Membership in this organisation is open to any white American citizen of European, non-Jewish descent,” he added.

Mr Jones had seven failed runs for the Republican 3rd Congressional District primary, but this time is running unopposed.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” the Illinois Republican Party chair, Tim Schneider, said in a statement. ”We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/arthur-jones-holocaust-denier-republican-nominee-congress-illinois-american-nazi-party-racist-anti-a8195421.html

Ding ding ding!!! We have the Superfecta! He said “America First”! Bravo, take a bow! And Mr. Schneider, before you go and condemn this guy, you should be aware that he’s currently running unopposed. Which makes him the perfect GOP target.

A former leader in the American Nazi Party is about to be the only Republican on the ticket for a congressional race in Illinois.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Arthur Jones, a Holocaust denier who has repeatedly tried ― and failed ― to attain office, is the only candidate seeking the GOP nod for the seat in the heavily Democratic 3rd Congressional District.

Images on Jones’ campaign website showed him speaking at KKK and neo-Nazi events, giving the Nazi salute and shredding the flag of Israel. He called the Confederate flag the symbol of “white pride,” “white resistance” and “white counterrevolution.” Jones also told the Sun-Times that the Holocaust was “an international extortion racket.”

Party leaders have disowned Jones.

“The Illinois Republican Party and our country have no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” Tim Schneider, chairman of the Illinois Republican Party, told the Sun-Times. “We strongly oppose his racist views and his candidacy for any public office, including the 3rd Congressional District.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arthur-jones-republican-nomination_us_5a77d3f6e4b0905433b5bd84

Oh and in case you’re wondering what a gem this guy is, there’s more! So much more! In fact in the above article, he’s apparently amused that he has detractors. I mean this guy really is a fucking Nazi!

Jones mocked the party’s attempts to stop him.

“Well, it’s absolutely the best opportunity in my entire political career,” he told the Chicago Tribune. “Every time I’ve run it’s been against a Republican who follows this politically correct nonsense. This time they screwed up.”

Yeah because that’s how good Nazis operate! They blame those for causing their own failures! And of course he’d attack the “politically correct” crowd! Those damn snowflakes! If this is too much for you, go back to your safe spaces! And that’s not all! Wait until you see who else he’s attacked!

And in his most recent blog post — dated Aug. 24 — Jones rails against “Radical Leftists” and blames them for starting racial violence that had roiled Charlottesville about two weeks earlier. Heather Heyer, 32, a protester at a white supremacist rally, died after a driver rammed a car into a crowd of demonstrators. A self-professed neo-Nazi has been charged with first-degree murder in the incident. Jones painted the death as an accident.

Despite his views, Jones is all but certain to become the GOP nominee in one of Illinois’s most prominent congressional districts — one that includes parts of Chicago and several suburbs to the west and southwest. Jones is running unopposed in the Republican primary; the deadline for candidates to file was in early December.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2018/02/04/holocaust-denier-running-for-congress-has-no-opponents-in-republican-primary/?utm_term=.83e0fc007773

[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Death By Cereal
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From: Idiots #5-6

Brittany C. from Henderson, Nevada asks:

“Hey Top 10 remember when the worst thing that could kill you was our breakfast cereal?”

Yes we do, Brittany! Yes we do!

Kansas City, It is time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Breakfast cereals. They come in all shapes, colors and flavors. You love them as a kid and you probably also love them just as much as an adult. However, one brand in particular has been getting hit hard in the news lately because of a massive recall. In fact the recall is so massive that it’s hit a sizeable majority of the United States. And before anyone asks if your breakfast cereal could possibly kill you, we answer with “yeah, probably”.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is urging consumers to stay away from a popular Kellogg’s cereal that has been linked to a massive salmonella outbreak affecting 100 people in 33 states.

“Do not eat this cereal,” the CDC tweeted Thursday along with a photo of Honey Smacks cereal. The agency revealed that 27 more people from 19 states had been infected from the outbreak since the last update on June 14.

In a statement released Thursday, the agency said, “Do not eat any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, regardless of package size or best-by date. Check your home for it and throw it away, or return it to the place of purchase for a refund.”

According to CBS News, the Kellogg Co. announced in June that it was investigating the third-party manufacturer that produces the cereal after being contacted by the FDA and CDC about the salmonella outbreak. Kellogg's recalled the cereal on June 14.

At least 30 people were hospitalized due to the outbreak, the CDC said. No deaths have been reported. The agency said that illnesses that occurred after June 19 might not yet have been reported. On average, it takes two to four weeks between when a person becomes sick and when his or her illness is reported.
https://www.newsweek.com/cdc-warns-dont-eat-cereal-after-honey-smacks-linked-salmonella-outbreak-33-1022914

So that explains why you might get salmonella while eating Honey Smacks – they’re endorsed by what appears to be a frog on smack. And yes, we’re aware that Death By Cereal and Frogs On Smack recently played a double headlining show at the Troubadour. But of course like all things happening in 2018, this story gets weird.

A Utah couple says their 5-month-old son is the state’s only known person infected with salmonella in a nationwide outbreak tied to Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal and they’re struggling to comprehend how it happened.

When 5-month-old Andy Lyons contracted salmonella, his parents were left baffled.

“But then his salmonella matched the outbreak for the Kellogg’s recall,” mother Ashley Lyons said.

The link doctors found to the Honey Smacks outbreak may have answered one question, but raised several more in its place.

“Yeah, we still aren’t 100 percent sure how,” Ashley Lyons said.
https://www.wral.com/parents-say-5-month-old-got-salmonella-from-honey-smacks-cereal/17704959/

Here’s the thing – maybe don’t feed your five year old Honey Smacks! Although that might be safer than a lot of children’s food on the market currently.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says a popular Kellogg’s cereal has been linked to a salmonella outbreak that has infected 100 people in 33 states.

The CDC announced Thursday that customers should avoid Honey Smacks, tweeting, “Do not eat this cereal.” The agency says it found salmonella in samples of Honey Smacks, which has been subject to a voluntary recall by Kellogg since mid-June.

It says that regardless of expiration date, the cereal should be thrown away or returned to a retailer for a refund.

The CDC says at least 30 of the people infected in the outbreak have been hospitalized. It says most people infected with salmonella develop a fever, cramps or diarrhea within 12 to 72 hours of being exposed to the bacteria.
https://apnews.com/8f023952727c42e4abeb8cf77aa1c4ff/'Do-not-eat-this-cereal':-CDC-links-Honey-Smacks,-salmonella?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=AP&utm_source=Twitter&__twitter_impression=true

Yes – do not eat that. Do not feed your kids that. Do not feed your pets that. Just stay away from the bad cereal. Apparently there is an entire website dedicated to food poisoning that you need to be made aware of as they keep track of this sort of thing.

The cereal was first recalled on June 14, 2018. Two UPC numbers of the product were recalled. The recalled product had “best if used by” dates of June 14, 2018 through June 14, 2018.

But several days later, the CDC told consumers to not eat any Honey Smacks cereal of any size package or any “best if used by” date. No explanation for this huge recall expansion was given.

Consumers have been advised to throw away any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, and to clean out containers if the cereal was decanted out of the original box. Even if some of the cereal was eaten and no one got sick, public health officials said discard it.

The cereal was first recalled on June 14, 2018. Two UPC numbers of the product were recalled. The recalled product had “best if used by” dates of June 14, 2018 through June 14, 2018.

But several days later, the CDC told consumers to not eat any Honey Smacks cereal of any size package or any “best if used by” date. No explanation for this huge recall expansion was given.

Consumers have been advised to throw away any Kellogg’s Honey Smacks cereal, and to clean out containers if the cereal was decanted out of the original box. Even if some of the cereal was eaten and no one got sick, public health officials said discard it.
https://foodpoisoningbulletin.com/2018/kelloggs-honey-smacks-salmonella-lawsuit-filed/

Yes, that apparently might be healthier for you than a bowl of Honey Smacks currently is. That is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #5-21

Brad J. from Austin, TX writes:

“Hey Top 10, since everyone is holed up right now and taking suggestions of things to watch, is there anything we shouldn’t watch?”

Well, Brad, there’s one network you shouldn’t watch, and the Christian right has your answer!

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… oh hey it’s a clip without context!

Oh yeah because an extinction level event is just so damn funny isn’t it? Well… spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Phoenix, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know in my quest to understand supporters of the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, I came upon a stark realization. And that is that they have a warped view of what is satanic or not. Because the man who they put on a pedestal as a shining example of GAWD himself is actually a DAYMON!!! And apparently there are organizations with views that one might call “satanic”.

End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles weighed in on the news that CNN’s Jim Acosta had his press credentials temporarily restored on Friday by declaring that CNN is part of a demonic effort to destroy freedom in America.

“CNN is consumed with the spirit of rebellion and sedition, which is witchcraft,” Wiles said on his “TruNews” program on Friday. “Let’s not make any mistake about identifying what this is.”

“And the source of witchcraft is the mouth of hell itself,” agreed co-host Doc Burkhart.

“This is a fight for survival and he has got to resist them,” Wiles added. “Mr. Trump needs to publicly state that he is calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to defend him. That is my prayer, that is my hope, that I hear Donald J. Trump publicly say, ‘I am calling on the name of Jesus Christ to fight my battles. My enemies are too great and too big and only God can help me.'”

Trump is “not fighting flesh and blood,” Wiles warned, but rather “demonic powers.”

“If they win,” he continued, “there will be no freedom in this country, perhaps for centuries. That is what this fight is all about, the elimination of freedom. Because it is a thoroughly corrupt, evil, wicked regime. They kill babies. They promote homosexuality. They promote sorcery and witchcraft. They’re evil. They’re wicked. Their wickedness is beyond our comprehension. That’s what we’re up against and that’s what’s trying to destroy President Trump. And if they succeed, the rest of us are going to be devoured by them. That is a fact.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-cnn-is-demonic-and-seeks-to-destroy-freedom-consumed-with-witchcraft/

No, Rick, that is not a fact, that is well, it’s whatever the opposite of a fact is! So apparently CNN is something that someone might call “Satanic”. But no! Let me show you what real SATANISM is, ladies and gentlemen! But yes these people really do think that CNN is the spawn of the devil himself!!!

Religious Right radio host E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” program yesterday that he will not believe anything reported by CNN because founder Ted Turner has said negative things about Christianity.

Turner, who once called Christianity “a religion for losers,” has reportedly softened his view in recent years, but Jackson still refuses to trust anything that CNN reports because he believes that the network is in league with Satan.

“CNN was founded by a renowned, convinced, convicted atheist,” Jackson said. “That spirit, that anti-Christ anointing is still on that thing, which is why their lead anchor is how he is. I don’t need to go any further than that, but he’s a confused young man and it’s because that spirit of atheism and anti-God and anti-Christian mindset just permeates that thing. So they’re not going to get anything right because when you’re that off—see, I really believe this—when you’re off spiritually like that, it’s very hard to get anything else right.”

Likewise, Jackson went on to say that he would refuse to be operated on by a surgeon who is an atheist.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I don’t care how good he is supposed to be because I believe when you’re that off about the fundamental nature of life, I can’t trust you with anything else. That’s it. Sorry. I can’t trust you with anything else because, to me, you are in league with the spirit of Satan. Why would I want to entrust my life to you and give the devil a shot at me? No, thank you.”

The same principle applies to CNN, Jackson said. “When the root is poison, guess what? The fruit is poison.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/e-w-jackson-doesnt-believe-cnn-because-the-network-is-in-league-with-satan/

Yes, the DAYMON hellfire is everywhere and the scourge of the wrath of GAWD shall not go unnoticed, can I get an amen!!! For it says in our good book “judge not lest ye be judged”, does it not? And I can prove it, I have it right here. But that’s not real SATANISM. Nothing is, at least how they are describing it! Here’s some real Satanism at work!

A group of Satanists that sued Netflix for $50 million for allegedly copying the image of its goat-headed deity has "amicably settled" its lawsuit with the video streaming giant.

The Satanic Temple organization claimed Netflix and Warner Bros. had copied the image of Baphomet -- a winged, half-man, half-goat figure that has been worshiped by various occult groups -- in its program "The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina."

A reproduction of the figure appeared in four episodes of the show without the group's permission, the group claimed.

But the group's leader said the suit has now been settled, and that "the unique elements of the Satanic Temple's Baphomet statue" will be acknowledged in the credits of the show's episodes.

"The Satanic Temple is pleased to announce that the lawsuit it recently filed against Warner Bros. and Netflix has been amicably settled," Lucien Greaves wrote in a statement.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/22/entertainment/satanic-temple-netflix-lawsuit-scli-intl/index.html

So the DEVIL is all around us, as you can clearly see! If not in our news networks then it’s in our network shows! I mean it’s all well and good but what does the Church Of Satan really think?

There are two prominent Satanic organizations, and only one of them has a problem with Netflix's Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The Satanic Temple filed a lawsuit against Netflix and Warner Bros. last week, alleging the statue of the Dark Lord in Sabrina's Academy of Unseen Arts infringes on the copyright of the organization's own statue of Baphomet. However, the Satanic Temple shouldn't be confused with the Church of Satan, which doesn't have a beef with the new Netflix series.

In a statement, the Church of Satan distanced itself from the Satanic Temple, which it says is known for "childish PR stunts" that "are not in anyway representative of the apolitical, individualistic and atheistic religion of Satanism."

The Church previously assessed FX's American Horror Story: Apocalypse and Sabrina, and noted, "Our members are watching these as many are horror fans and, as might be expected, some enjoy them and others find them not to their tastes—mileage varies amongst our folks who care enough to view it. We aren’t a collective, but a varied cabal of individuals, so to each his own!"
https://www.cbr.com/church-satan-netflix-sabrina-statement/

Yes, because apparently the devil works more among us than GAWD and JAYSUS do! Now in the Good Book does it not say that the dark one shall appear as creature of light? Yes, yes, it does I have it right here in front of me, sir! I mean even the church of SATAN says that DEMONIC forces are far more at work than an organization reporting on the news!

Satanic graffiti found in old bunkers is the work of "pranksters" rather than devil-worshippers, says an expert.

The symbols found in the warren of tunnels under Fort Austin in Plymouth are linked to Satanism, Church of Satan high priest Peter Gilmore said.

But he dismissed them as the work of teenagers "to upset the people who discover them" and said Satanists would have their "own home ritual spaces".

Police said the site was dangerous and the council pledged to block it up.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-46017331

There you have it folks, the DEVIL may not be working in CNN but he is definitely working in our media and our graffiti! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Unpopular Opinions: Billie Eilish & Van Halen
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From: Idiots #7-22

Leigh N. from Spokane, WA writes:

“Hey Top 10, I am from the younger generation. Why does the older generation hate it when we don’t know their taste in entertainment?”

Well, Leigh, let’s just ask Billie Eilish what she thinks about the subject.

Look people, stop freaking out about the fact that Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is. Hell at this point I’m not even sure that Eddie Van Halen knows who Van Halen is. Hey I watched The Dirt! Yeah that’s what a lifetime of hookers and blow will get you. Watch any movie from the 80s, doesn’t matter if the references are from Ferris Bueller or Beetlejuice, you will find plenty of dead references that don’t apply to a society in 2019. Dead references are as old as time itself. Popular culture comes and goes. There's people being born today who will have no idea what the hell a Sears or a K-Mart are! The people who are freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, are probably coming from the same parents who started freaking out when their kids didn’t know who Led Zeppelin was. But here’s the thing – Billie Eilish is 17! It’s OK for 17 year olds not to know 40 year old bands! Can we calm down and pull each other’s heads out of our collective asses please?

Is there anything more tedious than a music snob? Apparently not, given the rush to pile on 17-year-old Billie Eilish earlier this week, and all because she hadn’t heard of the rock band Van Halen.

The revelation took place on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the late-night host decided to quiz Eilish on whether she’d heard of artists such as Madonna (she had) and Van Halen (she hadn’t). Upon learning she was blithely unaware of the Seventies rockers, Kimmel’s reaction was one of horror, despair, and glee. “I’m gonna start crying,” he exclaimed, perhaps acknowledging that Eilish’s knowledge gap was actually highlighting his own age. “You’re making me look so dumb,” Eilish fretted in return.

While this was an innocent enough exchange that riffed on the age-old tradition of intergenerational repartee (“young people don’t know how easy they have it”, “old people don’t understand technology”, etc), the comments about Eilish online were harsher. There’s a particular type of person who relishes any opportunity to highlight the perceived ignorance of younger generations. Yet there’s absolutely no reason why Eilish, or anyone her age, should give a fleeting moment’s thought to a rock band who carry little to no weight in the 21st century. Why does she need to prove herself, when she’s become the biggest success story the music industry has seen in years? Clearly, she knows something these older critics don’t.

Besides, had Eilish told Kimmel she was a massive Van Halen fan, hardcore fans would likely have revolted, insisting there was no way she could be serious – she’s too young. There was a similar reaction when Justin Bieber was spotted wearing a Metallica T-shirt in 2015. He had no right to like them, hardcore fans decreed.
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/billie-eilish-van-halen-jimmy-kimmel-rock-music-spotify-a9234371.html

Shut up!!!! Take that article’s advice – there’s nothing worse than a snob! These are the same kinds of people who blame bands for being too political in 2019 when they’ve been political since the early 1990s! Like Anti-Flag or Pearl Jam, hey there was a time before Trump and social media existed. But you know what enough of my rambling let’s play the clip.

And here’s where there’s nothing worse than being a snob. I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m totally OK with all of this. But here’s where music snobs need to shut the hell up. People get old it happens. When the young generation doesn’t know the old generation’s music, it’s OK! Be lame and be proud of it! Until then shut up!

Today in “can we all please leave Billie Eilish TF alone,” the 17-year-old singer is being dragged by boomers for not knowing who the band Van Halen is. Which, no offense to Van Halen, but WHY DOES ANYONE EVEN CAAAAARE.

The moment in question went down on Jimmy Kimmel Live when Jimmy asked Billie to “name a Van Halen” and she responded, “Who?”

The audience was shook that Billie doesn’t know who the famous band is (again, she is only 17!), and Twitter wasted no time dragging her. But those tweets are lame, so here’s a couple from everyone mocking them instead:

Meanwhile, Wolf Van Halen chimed in, writing, “If you haven’t heard of @BillieEilish, go check her out. She’s cool. If you haven’t heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They’re cool too. Music is supposed to bring us together, not divide us. Listen to what you want and don’t shame others for not knowing what you like.”

And Nine Inch Nails art director Rob Sheridan also chimed in, saying, “RE: This Billie Eilish/Van Halen thing, honestly, it’s extremely good that hair metal finally doesn’t matter anymore. We worked extremely hard to kill hair metal in the ’90s, thank you teens for giving it an unceremonious ‘okay, boomer.’ Imagine being a teen in the ’90s and people being shocked that you didn’t know or care about Perry Como. Because THAT’S HOW OLD VAN HALEN IS NOW.”
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a30101300/billie-eilish-van-halen-clip-response/

OK boomer. And yes thank you Rob Sheridan for saying what needed to be said on this subject! Hair metal is a dead genre! The days of doing gratuitous amounts of coke and blow off hookers’ stomachs is no longer a thing. Yeah if you want to relive your glory days then go listen to SiruisXM’s Hair Metal station and leave the rest of us alone! Shit, even Eddie Van Halen’s own son supports Ms. Eilish’s claims!

Don't shame people who don't know Van Halen.

That's the message straight from Eddie Van Halen's son.

Wolfgang Van Halen, who also plays bass in his dad's band, is taking up for current music phenom Billie Eilish.

Eilish, 17, caused a stir recently during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Kimmel asked her to name some members of the famed band.

"Who?," she said. "No, who is that?"

"I'm gonna start crying," Kimmel joked.

The internet also had feelings.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/03/entertainment/van-halen-billie-eilish-trnd/index.html

Yeah seriously stop talking. Even Eddie Van Halen himself has defended Billie Eilish in saying that it’s totally OK – and as I’ve said dead references are dead references. Doesn’t matter the time or the place, and I’m sure your grandparents freaked out when you didn’t know who Dean Martin was. What? He’s the guy who sings “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie”. Nobody? Well, you’re not alone! I must say though I do love Smash Mouth’s response:

Billie Eilish has been defended by Van Halen after the singer acknowledged she hadn't heard of the popular 1980s rock band.

Jimmy Kimmel asked the "Bad Guy" singer on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on November 22 whether she could name a member of Van Halen, to which a puzzled Eilish responded, "Who?"

On Twitter on Monday, the band's 28-year-old bassist, Wolfgang Van Halen, the son of the founding member Eddie, told fans to check out the 17-year-old singer.

"If you haven't heard of @billieeilish, go check her out. She's cool. If you haven't heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They're cool too," he tweeted.

Wolfgang Van Halen also told people who had criticized Eilish after the Kimmel interview not to "shame others for not knowing what you like."

The '90s rock band Smash Mouth, popular for its songs "All Star" and "I'm a Believer," also defended Eilish, tweeting: "We grew up listening to #VanHalen and we're old as fck so why would @billieeilish know who they are? #NoDiss."
https://www.insider.com/wolfgang-van-halen-defends-billie-eilish-not-knowing-the-band-2019-12

[font size="8"]The XFL: How Is This Still A Thing?
[br] [/font] [br]

From: Idiots #8-7

Greg H. from Syracuse, NY asks:

“Hey Top 10, you love to talk smack about the XFL, but what is going to happen to that, given everything that is going on?”

Well, Greg, the XFL may sadly, no longer still be a thing.

It’s time once again to ask:

This week – the XFL: How is this still a thing? Way back in 2018, Vince McMahon, the chairman and CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, announced that he was bringing back his once-failed NFL rival, the XFL. And this time around it was going to have a more conservative, MAGA friendly approach after the Colin Kaepernick circular firing squad ensued. But let’s focus on one team first: The Los Angeles Wildcats who in their first week, got stomped. Which meant that for their home opener, nobody showed up. Yes, they have abysmal attendance ratings and a poor quarterback to blame for why the team is currently in last place.

It looks like the Los Angeles Chargers aren’t the only pro football team struggling to put butts in seats. Check out the scene before the XFL's Los Angeles Wildcats hosted the Dallas Renegades Sunday at Dignity Health Sports Park.

While those were images and video from before the game began, the scene wasn’t too much better at kickoff, with well over half of the seats at the small stadium still empty.

It’s not the first XFL game to feature a less-than-packed house, either. Early television ratings were strong, however, and one wonders if the rising ticket prices in Week 2 had something to do with the scene in Los Angeles.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/xfl/hardly-anyone-showed-up-to-watch-xfl-game-in-los-angeles/ar-BB103JZx

Yes, the X is for Xtreme! So the Los Angeles Chargers and the LA Rams are struggling to get fans to attend games, but then come the Wildcats of the XFL and say “hold my beer”! Well, despite the extremely poor attendance, makes things even worse when the Wildcats fired their defensive coordinator literally after the first game. Guess you could say that things are going well for that particular team?

The XFL's Los Angeles Wildcats made a series of unusual moves Monday, two days after losing their first game in the league's inaugural season.

The Wildcats fired defensive coordinator Pepper Johnson in a decision that head coach Winston Moss called "difficult."

Meanwhile, linebacker and team captain Anthony Johnson tweeted that he is now a "free agent."

The Wildcats confirmed Pepper Johnson's firing in a statement from Moss.

"We recognize that there are issues we need to address for the 2020 season," Moss said. "While these decisions are difficult, we have given this significant thought. We are here to put the best possible product on the field for our fans. We thank Pepper for his contributions to the Wildcats and we are looking forward to our home opener this weekend."
https://www.espn.com/xfl/story/_/id/28673130/xfl-wildcats-fire-defensive-coordinator-pepper-johnson-losing-opener

You could say that the LA Wildcats are a dumpster fire of an organization, but that’s the least of this league’s problems. So what is the XFL and why do we need it? There’s plenty of professional and semi-professional leagues around the globe. But this one is gaining the most attention and it has very few teams and even fewer people willing to go see games, especially with its’ pro conservative, MAGA friendly bias. Seriously, even the patron saint of quarterbacks, Tim Tebow, turned down an invitation to the league.

Tim Tebow confirmed Sunday that he declined an invitation to play in the XFL to continue his pursuit of a Major League Baseball career.

“Yeah, there was some communication,” the former Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback at Florida and Mets farmhand told reporters with a chuckle as he reported to the team’s spring training camp in Port St. Lucie.

“For me, this is what I wanted to do, and pursue this and be all in,” said Tebow, 32, who will be entering his fourth season in professional baseball and has yet to reach the majors.

Tebow’s baseball career hasn’t offered much promise, He owns a career .223/.299/.338 slash line in three full minor-league seasons and hit just .163/.240/.255 in 77 games at the Triple-A level last season.

Had he joined the XFL, Tebow would have unquestionably been the league’s biggest star on notoriety alone. The league, which just completed its second week of play, is lacking in recognizable names.
https://www.tampabay.com/sports/vipers/2020/02/17/tim-tebow-said-no-thanks-to-xfl-invitation/

Well so the league has very poor attendance and teams aren’t exactly getting off to what one would call a great start. In fact, things are going so poorly for the XFL in the first two weeks of games that the stand out star of the first week, Matt McGloin of the New York Guardians, slammed his coaches because well, they didn’t exactly know what they were doing.

The New York Guardians pulled off an upset win in Week 1, but facing what might be the best team in the XFL on the road in Week 2, Matt McGloin and the Guardians offense endured a nightmarish day at Audi Field in DC. The Defenders improved to 2-0 with a 27-0 shutout of the Guardians, and McGloin struggled mightily, with just 44 passing yards and 2 interceptions, good for a rating of 10.1.

McGloin had to do a live sideline interview after throwing his first pick of the day, and things got even more awkward during his halftime interview with ESPN’s Dianna Russini.

McGloin’s performance never improved, though, and he was eventually pulled for backup Marquise Williams after throwing a second interception. In a wild scene you’ll only see in the XFL, McGloin did a third live interview after being benched, and the QB didn’t hold back.

The XFL’s signature sideline interviews add a whole different dimension to the presentation of games – but they also give players an opportunity to potentially alienate coaches or teammates. The Guardians’ trip home to New York on Saturday is going to be a long one.
https://ftw.usatoday.com/2020/02/matt-mcgloin-slams-his-own-coaches-in-awkward-interviews-during-awful-loss

So calling the XFL a dumpster fire is definitely selling it short. Could it be improved? Yes. Are the between play interviews a good idea? Absolutely not. And are the games expected to improve and draw an audience anytime soon? Well that could happen because the XFL needs fans. Or it could not. But there is one thing you can expect for future games.

In the days since the Houston Roughnecks' XFL opener Saturday, wide receiver Kahlil Lewis has heard from a lot of people about what he did in the game.

No, it wasn't about any of his five catches for 45 yards, including a touchdown, or the 37-17 Roughnecks victory over the Los Angeles Wildcats. Instead, they were contacting him about something that happened in the first quarter.

Three plays into the game, Roughnecks quarterback P.J. Walker threw a 50-yard touchdown pass to wide receiver Cam Phillips. Lewis ran down the field to celebrate after chugging a whole bottle of Gatorade, and he was the first player to reach Phillips after he scored.

When Lewis was lining up for the 1-point conversion, he threw up.
https://www.espn.com/xfl/story/_/id/28681743/xfl-roughnecks-kahlil-lewis-works-set-record-straight-viral-vomit-video

So bad quarterbacks, poor attendance, in between play interviews, and on field vomit. That’s enough to make you ask – The XFL:

[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. Because even in the end times we still have our fair share of stupid people. What? My producer is telling us that it’s not the end times. Fuck! But I wanted to bring about this story. One of my favorite things is when people can’t do math. And last week, before the end of days, one of my favorite stories was of the fallout of Michael Bloomberg, who blew a whopping $500 million on his campaign. But here’s the thing – if you can’t do math, you should probably keep your mouth shut on the subject. Because it makes you look… well, it makes you look like a dumbass.

Mike Bloomberg spent over $500 million during his short-lived campaign to become the Democratic nominee for president. And while that's a lot of money, it's nowhere near enough to make every American a millionaire.

Two reporters claimed otherwise on MSNBC in a clip that has gone viral on Twitter. "It's an incredible way of putting it," New York Times Editorial Board Member Mara Gay tells MSNBC's Brian Williams in the clip. "It's true, it's disturbing, it does suggest, you know, what we're talking about here, that's there's too much money in politics."

The reporters were repeating a March 3 tweet from freelance journalist Mekita Rivas. "Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads," Rivas tweeted. "The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 million and still have money left over. I feel like a $1 million check would be life-changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on ads and STILL LOST." Rivas has since set her Twitter account to private; her still viewable Twitter bio currently reads "I know, I'm bad at math."

<snip>

At the time of publication, the Census Bureau estimates that there are 329,363,945 people living in the United States. If Bloomberg did divide his $500 million campaign budget between every American, each person would get less than $2.
https://www.businessinsider.com/mike-bloomberg-couldnt-give-every-american-1-million-2020-3

Ooh man that felt good. But yeah nice try people. Next up, we got to talk about minor league baseball for a minute. Yeah it sucks that there’s no sports of any kind being played right now. But the thing with minor league teams is that they get into some absolutely ridiculous promotions. But maybe don’t promote your team with one of the most infamous double murders in American history. Yeah really don’t go there.

The Charleston RiverDogs, a minor-league baseball team in South Carolina and Class A affiliate of the New York Yankees, have removed an "OJ Trial Night" promotion that was slated for late May. The decision came in response to backlash the team received for announcing the promo, which was going to highlight both O.J. Simpson's 1995 murder trial and orange juice.

"After taking a step back and having further reflection on the overall message that was being conveyed, it was the responsible thing to do," team president Dave Echols told the Post and Courier.

The night, which was originally scheduled for May 26, was promoted as a "juicy spin" on the most famous trial of the 20th century. Based on the event description, that phrase was meant to be a pun with the joke being that fans would get asked questions about orange juice. This is how the evening was described:

The trial of the century gets a juicy new spin. We will finally receive the verdict that everyone has been waiting for … pulp or no pulp?.

Fans will act as our jury, voting with custom paddles to reach verdicts on various topics throughout the night. The eyes of the nation will be upon us. Fans will receive an "OJ Trial" shirt upon entering the stadium. If the shirt don't fit, you must … see if we have a different size.
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/minor-league-baseball-team-cancels-oj-trial-night-following-backlash/

Yeah no stop it! That’s the kind of thing we’re trying to avoid here. Next up – in a scene eerily reminiscent of Deadpool – a paraglider attempted to land and got sucked into power lines! I know that seems like a horror show doesn’t it? But we can happily file this one into the “People Are Dumb” file because the pilot was thankfully safe and nothing bad happened but still. I mean this is a scene straight from Deadpool 2.

A paraglider had to be rescued after he flew into power lines and became trapped in the wires for more than three hours.

The man become entangled in the power lines Wednesday afternoon while trying to land near the Yuba County Airport in Olivehurst, California, the Yuba County Sheriff's Department said in a news release.
Jimmy Comstock, who lives nearby, told CNN affiliate KTXL that he saw two paragliders in the sky before one separated and flew straight into the wires. "I seen two of them coming," Comstock said. "One went that way and the other come over the trees, dipped down in the road then tried to get out of the road and then hit the wires."

The Pacific Gas and Electric Company quickly turned off all the power in the area to prevent the glider from being electrocuted, while rescuers responded and began work to get him down.

"Our main focus was letting him know to stay in contact with the aircraft, not to try to reach out, touch us or move around as much so that the aircraft stayed still and wouldn't potentially fall," Olivehurst Fire Battalion Chief Randy York told CNN affiliate KTXL.
Officials said the pilot was conscious and communicating with first responders when paramedics transported him to the hospital to be evaluated.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/20/us/paraglider-rescued-power-lines-california-trnd/index.html

Yeah so that is art come to life! Seriously! Next up – with all the health things in the news right now, it’s hard to sort fact from fiction. But one thing is for certain – maybe don’t use your ass as an orifice for inserting potatoes. Yeah that’s not exactly something that I would recommend, and I’m not a doctor. So even actual doctors are advising against this.

Doctors have issued a warning against putting frozen potatoes in your anus.

This comes as an increasing number of hemorrhoid sufferers have reportedly taken to the internet to seek alternative solutions to their problem instead of consulting doctors.

Now, it has emerged that an altogether unusual solution is being touted online: that inserting frozen potatoes into your anus for 30 minutes is the answer.

Per Wales Online, one article claims: "Here's what you need to do: Peel a raw potato and cut into thin slices, like you do it for French fries.

"Put the slices into the freezer and wait until they are frozen.
https://vt.co/lifestyle/doctors-are-warning-people-not-to-put-frozen-potatoes-in-their-anus/

Finally this week – being sober is a very serious deal. And there’s plenty of ways to celebrate being sober if you are into that sort of thing. But one way *NOT* to celebrate your sober anniversary is to do something ridiculously stupid. Like I don’t know, buy a motorcycle if you don’t have a license for it. And that’s exactly what this guy did.

An Arizona man arrested for allegedly stealing a motorcycle from a Kawasaki dealership told police he was “celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted” a chopper, according to court records.

Investigators say that Jackson Hanley, 29, was actually intoxicated when he walked into a Mesa dealership earlier this month and “grabbed a Kawasaki motorcycle and began pushing it down the street.”

Hanley, who rode his bicycle to Kelly’s Kawasaki, had his theft bid thwarted when a customer alerted an employee that a crime was in progress. Police were then summoned and Hanley was located about a mile away. “The defendant,” a cop noted, was found “resting on a fence with the bike slightly tipped over but still upright.”

Hanley, cops say, “admitted to stealing the motorcycle. He said he was celebrating 4 months of sobriety and decided he wanted a motorcycle.” Hanley reportedly said he was “going to walk it back home and try and start it there.”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/kawasaki-copped-791354

That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 1
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome to the kick off of the 2020 Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State contest! It’s Round 1 Week 1 so that means that anything goes. And due to the Coronavirus outbreak, our teams tonight may or may not be playing in front of a live audience depending on whether or not the city of Denver approves it or not. Now that said, we have not one but two exciting matchups tonight! In the first corner, representing the Batshit Conference, we have the #1 seed Virginia playing the #2 seed Kentucky in a battle of heavyweight contenders! Not to be outdone, in the Family Values Conference, last years' champion Alabama is praying to god against #2 Oklahoma! The winner moves on to the next round and the loser goes home! We go live to the floor of the home of the hottest team in hockey, the Colorado Avalanche, for the first round action!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Semifinals: #1 Virginia Vs #2 Kentucky[/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

Virginia may be for lovers, but that doesn’t help that the state is completely, totally batshit fucking crazy. It has voted overwhelmingly conservative in the last 4 years. It’s also the home of everyone’s favorite Christian diploma mill, Liberty University. And Liberty, as we previously reported in
Idiots #8-5, has a completely batshit insane plan orchestrated by Falwell to turn a percentage of Virginia’s precincts over to West Virginia that could completely remake the borders between the two states! And come on guys, at least have a better name for your plan than “Vexit”.

The leaders of the grassroots movement known as VEXIT today announced the next steps for Virginia counties to abandon the radical policies of Democrat Party leaders in Richmond by joining the free state of West Virginia.

The steps, announced by Rick Boyer, a Rustburg, Virginia attorney and the President of VEXIT, include a new effort to gather signatures on petitions to local governments, the distribution of key new information about the inability of the Virginia government to intercede in the process, and the appointment of Jerry Falwell, Jr., the President of Liberty University, as the Honorary Chairman of VEXIT.

VEXIT plans to increase its outreach to citizens to encourage them to demand a vote in their local county (or independent city) this fall to become a county in West Virginia. More information is found on VEXIT's website, https://vexit2020.com/.

"This movement can't be stopped by Richmond because Virginia's Constitution already gives local communities the right to do this," said Falwell.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/vexit-leaders-announce-next-steps-144200119.html

Yeah no that’s a terrible idea. But what’s even more shocking is that this is having a reverse effect on the two states as West Virginia is now saying that they don’t want the Virginia counties! Man I have a feeling that Falwell fucked up (shocker) and that this could turn into a real life turf war. Yeah during this time that’s the absolute last thing we need!

A Virginia congressman said he thinks its better for counties from West Virginia to join the Commonwealth than the reverse as proposed in VEXIT.

VEXIT, a proposal made in January by Jerry Falwell, Jr. the son of televangelist Jerry Falwell, Sr. and president of Liberty University and West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice, calls for Virginia counties to secede the state in favor of joining West Virginia.

“I love West Virginia, I have family there. Our goal is to have West Virginia counties to secede to us. So, how about we work that way, right, first?” said U.S. Rep. Denver Riggleman (R-VA).

“I think as we get more people involved I think in politics, and people see that they want their freedom of liberty over government oppression, I think you’re going to see people say ‘Hey, you know what? We can bring Virginia back to where we need it to be. We don’t need to go somewhere else.”
U.S. Rep. Denver Riggleman (R-VA)

Falwell, during the media conference announcing VEXIT said, “We need a state government that is not elected by federal workers in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., that will protect our God-given rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and I believe West Virginia will do just that.”
https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/rep-riggleman-prefers-w-va-counties-to-join-virginia-rather-than-a-vexit/

[font size="4"]Kentucky[/font]

The Bluegrass State is no stranger to being at the top of the Batshit Conference. After all, they are home to the two worst senators in the entire country – Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. And thankfully things are starting to change for the better in the Bluegrass State, but we have a long way to go before it’s considered flipped. For one thing, while Andy Beshar is doing a good job of running things, there’s still the fallout from the Matt Bevin era, where we had one of the worst governors in the entire state.

When the Louisville Courier-Journal revealed earlier this month that former Kentucky governor Matt Bevin (R) had pardoned a slew of violent criminals during his final weeks in office, he cited his belief in second chances.

But on Thursday, Bevin offered a different explanation for one particularly controversial pardon: He said he didn’t believe that a 9-year-old girl was raped, because her hymen was intact.

“There was zero evidence,” Bevin told talk-radio host Terry Meiners of WHAS.

Already under fire for handing out pardons to relatives of his supporters, Bevin is now facing an onslaught of criticism from medical and forensic experts. Scientists have debunked the notion that inspecting an alleged victim’s hymen can prove whether they were sexually assaulted, and found that most survivors of child sexual abuse do not have any physical damage. George Nichols, an expert in evaluating child abuse who also served as Kentucky’s chief medical examiner for 20 years, told the Courier-Journal on Thursday that Bevin “clearly doesn’t know medicine and anatomy.”

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/12/20/matt-bevin-micah-schoettle-child-rapist-hymen-intact-pardon/

Whew, that is a stunning level of creepy there isn’t it? And what is it with these anti-abortion creeps and hymans? I know that part of the female anatomy but still… creepy! OK moving on, you know the other thing that makes Kentucky weird? Guns. They have guns. And they have lots of guns. And they are not afraid to use them either. Or parade them around while attending rallies at the capital, because, guns.

Gun owners from around Kentucky showed up armed at the state’s Capitol building in Frankfort on Friday, rallying for gun rights and protesting a proposed “red flag” law and other potential gun limits in the state.

The group “We Are KY Gun Owners” organized the rally, the Louisville Courier-Journal reported, and the event featured speeches from Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) as well as Dick Heller, the plaintiff in the case over the Washington, D.C. gun ban, District of Columbia v. Heller, that the Supreme Court eventually decided in Heller’s favor.

Previous gun rallies at the state’s Capitol building exposed a gun-friendly loophole in the Capitol’s rules, the Courier-Journal observed: Umbrellas and sticks are banned, but not rifles.

The photographer Bryan Woolston was on-hand for the event. See his photos for Getty, below:
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/gunmen-some-in-masks-swarm-ky-capitol-for-2nd-amendment-rally?fbclid=IwAR2KR-bsh76u5zDrcY9ooWWfGd1O15ww-XvtLQ8p1MlmEbW0Ci4UufEhLbM

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Wow, this was a close one. And tied at 94 with less than 5 seconds to go, Kentucky… misses the rebound!!! Virginia picks it up, and they score! It’s good! Final second – Virginia 96, Kentucky 94. Ouch, Kentucky put up a good fight but we will see you next year!

[font size="4"]Family Values Conference Semifinals: #1 Alabama Vs #2 Oklahoma [/font]

[font size="4"]Alabama[/font]

Alabama, you know them as the Yellowhammer State. You may Roll Tide when it comes to the Family Values of Alabama. They are of course the home of Jeff Sessions and failed Senate candidate and super creepy pedophile weirdo Roy Moore. But if you want to know how Alabama treats its’ family values, just consider that they’re the state full of compassionate conservatives and good ol’ boys. In fact they don’t take too kindly to strangers.

The Alabama Senate has passed a bill that would ban gender therapies such as prescription hormones or gender confirmation surgery for minors.

The legislation would make it a felony for medical providers to prescribe puberty-blockers or hormones to anyone under age 19, or perform gender confirmation surgery on them. It passed 22-3 and now heads to the House of Representatives.

The bill's sponsor is Trussville Republican Sen. Shay Shelnutt. Shelnutt said Thursday that children shouldn't be given “experimental” medications or procedures that could have permanent effects.

Mobile Democratic Sen. Vivian Davis Figures questioned whether lawmakers should restrict healthcare decisions made between parents and children.

Read more: https://www.apr.org/post/alabama-senate-oks-bill-banning-gender-treatment-minors

Apparently they don’t think of the children much in the Yellowhammer State. But where else does Alabama lay king to the crown of Family Values? Well just take a look at their police department. You know John Oliver did that piece on local sheriffs. But this is why you shouldn’t trust any state where the flag is a giant red X. Because you get shit like this.

The assistant police chief of a tiny Alabama town has apologized for a Facebook post in which he suggested U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could be targeted with a roadside bomb.

Jeff Buckles, the assistant chief of the Geraldine police department, took to Facebook after Pelosi, the Democratic House leader, ripped apart a copy of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday night.

“Pelosi just ripped up his speach (sic),” Buckles wrote in the public post, which since appears to have been deleted or removed from public view. “Road Side bomb on her way home and any other Dumbocrats.”

He later apologized in a follow-up post for “venting on FB,” saying his remarks “definitely offended” some people.

Read more: https://www.al.com/news/2020/02/alabama-cop-posts-online-about-roadside-bomb-for-nancy-pelosi-other-dumbocrats.html

[font size="4"]Oklahoma[/font]

The Sooner State is no stranger to Family Values. They’re the home of another senator who is with the swamp, James Inhofe. And it’s also good to know that in this times of crisis and peril, Oklahoma knows what’s really at stake. No it’s not that millions could be infected by COVID-19. It’s that your abortion rights are at stake and the Christian right is moving to call “check mate” while the rest of the world is distracted, for you know, obvious reasons.

The Oklahoma Senate approved legislation Thursday to essentially prohibit abortions in Oklahoma after six weeks of pregnancy.

The Senate voted 36-8 for the bill, which now heads to the House for consideration.

The bill by Republican Sen. Paul Scott of Duncan would prohibit doctors from performing an abortion, beginning at six weeks of pregnancy, if a fetal heartbeat or brain waves are detected.

“Doctors take an oath to protect life, so this will also hold them accountable for that oath by taking away the licenses of any who violate this law,” Scott said in a statement.
https://www.publicradiotulsa.org/post/oklahoma-senate-votes-ban-abortions-after-six-weeks

And by the way, with hardcore family values comes some hardcore racism! So back in the early 1920s, Oklahoma was met with some race riots, which did not end well. And the incident had been not thought about in years, but with the recent HBO mini series Watchmen, there has been some interest resurging in finding out what actually happened. Well, it’s way more horrifying than you might think!

Results of subsurface scanning in search of unmarked burials from the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre will be reported to the public at 5:30 p.m. Monday at Carver Middle School’s Tyrone Wilkerson Auditorium, 624 E. Oklahoma Place.

Scientists will present their findings to a public oversight committee, who will then contemplate further steps in the search. The meeting is open to the public.

Initiated by Mayor G.T. Bynum, the investigation centers on nearly century-old rumors that bodies from the 1921 event were disposed of secretly. The official death count, based on death certificates and National Guard reports, is 37, but authorities said at the time they could not confirm that all deaths were accounted for.

In October, scientists with Oklahoma Archeological Survey and the Medical Examiner’s Office conducted tests at Newblock Park and Oaklawn Cemetery. It is the results of these tests that will be discussed Monday.
https://www.tulsaworld.com/news/tulsa-race-massacre-burial-committee-to-get-report-on-mass/article_b4ba6c67-979e-5446-8d59-68f860ca6159.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Oh this is no contest, Alabama handily knocks off Oklahoma to advance to the next round. Final score - 84 - 69.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 2 and we are live in Austin, Texas at the home of the Texas Longhorns, the Frank C Irwin Center, for all the action! It’s a battle of Fiscal Irresponsibility heavyweights as the Volunteers in #3 Tennessee go for broke against the Cornhuskers in #4 Nebraska! Meanwhile, in the Gun Nut Conference, it’s a duel to the death as the Desert Warriors of #3 New Mexico take on the Show Me State in #4 Missouri! It’s getting exciting, folks!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Iggy Pop[/font]

My next guest is an absolutely legendary punk rock performer. In fact you can see him perform at Carnegie Hall in New York City on March 6th. Playing his song “James Bond” from his new album “Free”, give it up for the one, the only Iggy Pop!!!
https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/5d717ce547318e000977d846/1:1/w_320/IggyPop_Free.jpg

Thank you for getting us through this incredibly difficult week! The full and proper Idiots you know and love will be back as soon as we can. See you next week!

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