XanaDUer2
XanaDUer2's Journaldoes anyone here ruminate?
my therapist and I are working on negative anticipatory stress and mindfulness.
Full disclosure: I'm assuming stress is causing this, but I tend to run potential conversations through my head that never happened or I think should happen. And I've been trying to stop. It makes me feel like I'm looney tunes.
I feel our brains get used to certain thoughts, negative or positive, and thinking them constantly almost makes a groove in our thought processes. Like a roller coaster track.
Thank God I have DU for distraction!
Menopausal brain fog? Meds? Both
I did well in school and never usually, had a problem learning new things.
Reading and vocabulary were my Forte. I was reading college level in grade school.
Tonight, I ruined pasta sauce mix by continually reading 2 cups, not 2 cans. I got so upset I started to cry. Wth is wrong?
The sauce looked watery, so I rechecked the box directions, and it said cans, not cups.
Applied online for SSDI today
remembering some dates was a bit difficult. Took about an hour and a half. I am permitting them to access my medical records, but I'm also supposed to mail records into the state's social security in the state capital.
I also filled out the paperwork for my short-term disability insurance. They denied me the last time, and I had to get a lawyer, who got me money.
Just stressed due to paying a very large CC bill.
I'm so sad my life turned out like this. Thanks for listening
Seeking opinions about job application
I saw a job right near my home in my field. I live in a small city where many people know each other, and it is a red, right-to-work state.
Sooo, I thought I would give it a whirl. However, and I have applied for many, many jobs over the years...the terms of employment are weird. The terms, paraphrasing, said that they could talk to my neighbors, relatives, co-workers, etc about my character and general characteristics, my way of being. I am out on FMLA leave due to stress currently.
It also says that, if employment is offered to me, then rescinded, they can tell any future employers about my "termination" and the hospital will not be held liable for doing so. I've never seen such language before in a terms-of-employment for a job application.
Having a mental illness, a do miss a lot of work. It may call my current supervisor, who is a nut, and who slapped my hand. I posted about that here weeks ago.
I stopped the application due to a hinky feeling. Do I really want to work at a place with such terms? I have nothing to hide and have been gainfully employed since 1987- 26 years' post- Master's degree. But, still.
This has upset me, since I was thinking this would be a way to get out of my current situation. Am I being too sensitive?
I am pretty sure they will call my employer. I don't want them to know I am out on FMLA.
Any thoughts?
Finally, rest and relaxation in the NC. Mountains
just arrived at the air bnb my cousin rented us in Blowing Rock. My doctor said my job is to rest and relax- I'm off work for a month due to stress.
It feels so good to get away. I hope I start feeling better. We're here 4 nights.
Finally, rest and relaxation in the NC mountains
just arrived at the air bnb my cousin rented us in Blowing Rock. My doctor said my job is to rest and relax- I'm off work for a month due to stress.
It feels so good to get away. I hope I start feeling better. We're here 4 nights.
I feel lower than dirt. Stupid and embarrassed
I go out for a month tomorrow. My boss, correctly, wants my voice message to reflect that. We have, to me, a complicated phone system. Even calling IT to reset my phone to a temporary PIN, I did not hear a prompt telling me to change my PIN. I was on my cell, talking to the tech, fiddling with the phone. I thought I changed it, but didn't when I called after work.
My boss seemed mad. I feel like a stupid idiot. There's something wrong with me. I cannot stand this type of stuff anymore. So, I screwed it up.
I was so rattled, I forgot what I needed at the store after work. I'm disassociating. I haven't felt this bad in a long time.
anybody like Altman's 3 Women?
one of my favorite films. James Cromwell's dad also stars
*UPDATE* I asked for the FMLA at work last Monday
Again, thank you DU fam for reading my posts and all your input, advice, thoughts, and kindness.
I was going to ask for it this past Tuesday, but I was so stressed out I decided to move it up to past Monday to get it over with. I was shaking so badly. It went well. My doctor wanted me out asap, but I didn't want to do that to the scheduler lady, who just lost a baby and is very nice. So, we chose June 8th. Which is great because I miss Staff Day, too.
My boss accepted it and was great. I was pleasantly surprised. We did the paperwork yesterday. I will bring my doctor his part to fill out Tuesday. It is supposed to be for a month, but I think it will be longer. My doctor said to say a month at this point, since he is very concerned about me. But he is going to do what is best for me in any case.
I have no idea what is being thought of me, vis a vis the director, etc. I kinda don't care. My co-workers don't know, minus the scheduler lady, and I told her about my disability so she knew, and I am fine with her knowing. The others don't , and it is none of their business. I will tell the guy I supervise. I asked my boss about the evaluations, etc, and she made it sound like it would be okay, so I am going with that. I feel like I can finally breathe a bit. There may be bumps in the road I don't know about, but I don't want to think of them. I just see a path out for a while. Taking a few days off and going to the mountains. It's been two years since I was on a vacation. I miss a lot of time at work due to stress.
Some asked me to keep them up to speed on what happened, so here I am. Feeling a bit hopeful!
Profile Information
Name: MaryGender: Do not display
Hometown: Miami
Home country: United States
Current location: Earth
Member since: Sat Jul 4, 2020, 12:14 PM
Number of posts: 10,638