3825-87867
3825-87867's JournalIt is to laugh - Part 3
On Judgement Day, two forever Trumpers meet God at the pearly gates and God asks them if they have any questions. One says “yes, please tell us the true results of the 2020 presidential election.” God tells them that the election was not rigged and that Biden won the presidency fair and square. The guy turns towards his friend and whispers, “looks like this fraud goes higher up than we ever imagined”
Trump went to the Post Office to buy stamps for Melania's Christmas cards.
"What Denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said Trump. "Well, give me 50
Baptist and 50 Catholic."
Three maga women died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?
The first maga replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..."
"Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.
He turns to the second maga, and asks the same question: "What is Easter?"
The second maga replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second maga, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and says, "wrong, and you will have to join your friend in the other place. You two are not welcome in Heaven."
He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"?
The third maga smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously.
"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight.
The third maga continued. "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
Presidential Tragedy
President Trump is visiting an elementary school today and he
visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in the
discussion of the word, "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next
door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over,
that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Trump, "that would be an ACCIDENT."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a
GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Trump
searches the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a
quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Trump, were
struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic," exclaims Trump, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that
would be a TRAGEDY?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it
certainly wouldn't be a great loss."
It is to laugh - a few more
10,000 Maga Trump Faithful meet at a stadium near Mar-a-Lago for a "Magas Are Not Stupid Convention." The MC says "We are all here today to prove to the world that Maga Trumpers are not stupid. Mr. Trump is going to take a test to show his intelligence.
Trump steps up. The MC says to him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds he says "Eighteen." The MC says, "I'm sorry, that's wrong." Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 10,000 Trumpers start cheering "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
The MC says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 10,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance." So he says "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds, Trump eventually says "Ninety?"
The MC sighs - everyone is crestfallen and Trump looks confused and the 10,000 Trumpers start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance." The MC, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "OK! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" Trump closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four." Around the stadium The 10,000 Maga Trumpers start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
On Judgement Day, two Maga Trumpers meet God at the pearly gates and God asks them if they have any questions. One says “yes, please tell us the true results of the 2020 presidential election.” God tells them that the election was not rigged and that Biden won the presidency fair and square. The guy turns towards his friend and whispers, “looks like this fraud goes higher up than we ever imagined”
Three maga trumpers died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can seperately answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?
The first trumper replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..."
"Wrong!, You are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.
He turns to the second trumper, and asks the same question: "What is Easter?"
The second trumper replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second trumper, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and says, "wrong, and you will have to join your friend in the other place. You two are not welcome in Heaven."
He then peers over his glasses at the third maga trumper and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"?
The third maga trumper smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously.
"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third maga trumper continued. "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
It is to laugh!
A couple older jokes adjusted to "Maga' mentality.
A guy is driving along the highway to Mar-a-Lago and he finds himself in the middle of a massive traffic jam that is blocking up five different freeways and sending lines of cars back for miles in all directions. After a while, he notices a guy walking from car to car down the freeway, stopping and talking to people through their car windows. When the guy reaches him he rolls down his window and says,
"Hey! What's causing all this delay?" The guy on the freeways says, Well, you're not going to believe this, but Donald Trump has sat down in the middle of the freeway intersection up there, and he's totally distraught, and he says there's no way he can ever pay the $455 million he owes, and so he's threatened to douse himself in gasoline and set himself afire if people don't give enough money sufficient to cover the cost of the judgement. So I've taken up a collection to try to end the traffic jam." "How much have you got so far."
"About ten gallons."
************
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as Trump appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him.
A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Melania appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Trump country!"
"Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"
I Fought the Law - Trump Parody
Trump
I Fought the Law...
[link:
The guy has some more good ones.
Great OogaBooga!
Has anyone (concerning the ballot issue) actually read the 14th amendment and taken time to understand it's meaning and what the Supreme Court is deciding?
The Court WILL allow trump on the ballot...period, so long as he meets the requirements of the states to run for office and to have a name placed on a ballot, his will be there!
ANYONE can run for president! Anyone can be on a ballot so long as they meet the state's requirement! Even currently, Taylor Swift (she's 34!).
The 14th:
Amendment XIV
No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
It doesn't say anywhere you need to be on a ballot. It may be implied but that's for another court decision.
SIMPLY STATED...no one can HOLD OFFICE... if involved in an insurrection. Trump will be on the ballot. It specifies "no person shall...HOLD any office." He could even win. But according to the 14th, he can not hold office! Therefore, he can't become president. No one can hold any office...who having taken an oath...etc!
IF..he wins, then the Supreme Court will have to decide whether he can stay but according to the amendment, simply participating in an insurrection means he CAN NOT HOLD OFFICE! It's black and white. Even for Alito.
That's why the election is more important than trying to keep him off the ballot. HE...can't be president even if he wins. But, the question of his vice-presidential selection ticket would be the topic for the court.
Strange song coming from a Republican
even though it was 50 plus years ago, it seems point on today.
[link:
And comments about another of his "hits,"
[link:https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/ray-stevens-dumb-anti-immigrant-song-come-to-the-usa-6499371|
The Anti-Immigrant Song "Come To the U.S.A."
I won't post a link to the song. You can check out his BS yourself.
And no, he didn't mean it as satire.
There should NOT even be a question as to the legality of the 14th Amendment
as it applies to Trump and those who planned insurrection and stormed Congress.
I’ve heard arguments that the SCOTUS will decide. Bullshit. It’s black and white.
The verbiage is “SHALL” which means it’s sacrosanct. If Alito and Thomas and Rogers decide to reinterpret the 14th as to the meaning, then the 2nd must also be judged by the same criteria, right?
They’ve already re-figured the 1st with “You can’t yell fire in a crowed theater” to the “Free Speech Zones” of the 2004 Republican Convention and more.
Since the 2nd is supposedly not up for debate or reinterpretation so then neither can be the 14th.
And here’s where the misinterpretation comes in.
Insurrection
noun
1. an act or instance of rising in revolt, rebellion, or resistance against civil authority or an established government.
The 14th leaves no wiggle room. There’s no command for accusation, nothing about being convicted, nothing about being found guilty and nothing allowing appeal to any judicial party. And there is no current “augment” to this Amendment that guarantees any current Government or State official who took an oath to the U.S. to be in office once involved (not just accused or convicted, but engaged!) in an insurrection or rebellion against the U.S. or to have any recourse to legal protection. They are simply no longer employed by any Government! That statement is clear:
Amendment XIV
No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
Removing the extraneous, possibly confusing parts for explanation gives this:
Amendment XIV
No person shall… hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath… as an officer of the United States… to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.
There’s no get out of jail free card. The 14th is quite specific. Once you’ve been merely involved in an insurrection or rebellion, you no longer are part of the government nor will you ever be. Therefore, you must leave office immediately and cannot hold any government or state office even if running for election and wining!
Those already in office should have salaries, perks and any privileges stripped immediately. They should lose ANY government remuneration of any kind including medical, retirement and death benefits for themselves and their families.
This shouldn’t be a subject for even discussion or reinterpreting the 14ht if this court won’t discuss reinterpretation of the 2nd amendment.
Most amendments have been “augmented” since their inceptions. There’s no doubt this one will be again. And it’s interesting to note the 14th has been “updated or amended” more than any other for reasons ranging from sincerity to corporate and/or government greed and/or manipulation.
Obviously, this will be looked at by those Right Wing Partisans on today’s Court. But in the mean time, the full effect of the 14th should be enforced and anyone engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the U.S. should no longer be in office and must be immediately removed.
There are those here who may argue this point for whatever reasons, however, as of right now, there is no “amendment” or adjustment to the 14th that allows any U.S. Constitution oath-taken officer (and ALL elected and appointed officials are officers of the U.S.) to stay in office once having been or are engaged in an insurrection or rebellion against the U.S. They should have no say in ANY legislation pending or proposed. They should have no voice in any vote or procedure in Federal or State Government and any such must be ignored when bills or laws are proposed or voted on. And any laws or bills voted on and passed or not by these individuals after their involvement must be readdressed. The 14th does not guarantee the right to due process for insurrection or rebellion!
Remove them immediately. By force if necessary. Just as was attempted by authorities January 6, 2021.
You know it would be done if the other faction were in power.
Before the PTB decide to ban this...
WARNING to Readers. Be advised...
Concerning the irrational, idiotic performance by MTG in Congress, this is being posted as a view solely mine. If you are offended by harsh language yet has no obscenity, you may want to skip the read.
This is a popular "Flame" from the late 80s BBS's. The author is anonymous. It was a way to let others know how one felt about stupidity. While it is long and descriptive, again, there are no obscenities in this. However it is evocative, provocative and demonstrably expressive.
Again, be advised.
MTG:
As a Person, you are:
A Moron of the highest order. You're so stupid it's a wonder you can remember to breathe. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if they were coated with Teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out.
On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest attainable IQ) your rating is so far into negative numbers that one would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a distant glimpse of it. Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are like that of the bird who keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don't have to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying times, tedious, boring, earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy; childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful.
You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious to the thousands of honest parasitic species.
You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, and a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you stink? Monkeys look down on you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease. You are a puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are.
The only thing worse than your logic is your egotistic, holier-than-thou attitude. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
The saddest part is that you really don’t care; that you even relish in this degradation; smiling to yourself how proud you are to be so pathetic, so self-satisfyingly hated yet so full of hatred toward others; to have no value for life or happiness or even existence for anyone but yourself and those vermin who commiserate with you.
Have a Great Day, Loser
P.S.,
You are also hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, stifling, uncaring, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded.
Ladies and Gentlemen - your 21st Century SCOTUS
complements of the New American Illuminati.
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Member since: Fri Sep 11, 2020, 12:02 PMNumber of posts: 842