About girls and women not telling after they're attacked

[Ohiogal]

10. Dear sinkingfeeling,

I am so sorry that happened to you. It's so totally frightening and shameful to experience something like that at such a young age. Please know that you're not alone. It's absolutely shameful that men (and boys) think they can do these things to us.

When I was 12, I used to cut through the dark school auditorium after the dismissal bell rang because it was much faster to get to my locker that way. You weren't supposed to do that but I knew some kids did. One day as I got to the door across the big auditorium, four big boys came in and saw me there. One of them pinned me up against the wall and kept asking me my name. I could feel and smell his breath on my face. It was dark and I couldn't see any of their faces. Another boy bent down and reached up under my skirt and was touching me there through my underpants. The first one kept trying to kiss me (UGH) but I kept wiggling out of his grasp. They finally let me go, and I tore through the door as they all laughed loudly at me.

I told no one out of shame and fear. Especially my mother, because I was afraid she'd march right down to the school the next day and make a big deal out of it and then I'd really be afraid to go to school for fear those boys would retaliate. (I guess I didn't put 2 and 2 together that if I couldn't identify them how could I tell anyone who did it?) But I felt awful and shamed and embarrassed and dirty for a long long time, and I STILL remember how that felt. I can't imagine going through what you and others went through like Dr. Ford, which was ten times worse. These old turds like Orrin Hatch have NO idea how it feels - no, we aren't "hysterical mixed up ninnies" or anything like that. It is REAL and it HAPPENED to us and there are a thousand reasons why we don't speak up about it that they will never understand.