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In reply to the discussion: I've lost my best friend, and it's because of Trump [View all]Nictuku
(3,606 posts)My first reaction when I learned of a long time (progressive) friend of mine supported Trump. This is back in 2015. She posted some very racist anti-immigration thing on facebook, so I took the conversation private, to email and tried to point out how Trump was a biggot and racist. She took great offense and we have not spoken since.
Since then, I have taken a different tack, because I still love her. I know there is good in her. But now I have no idea if she ever saw the error of her ways, or what.
For a couple other of my long time friends who are clearly now Cult 45 members, I have taken a different approach. However it was complicated with the fact that I used to work for the Federal Judiciary, (I was forced into retirement in March, but that is another story), but as an employee of the Federal Judiciary, I was prohibited from posting (or even liking, or having a sign in my yard) that was partisan in any way. So for years I had to sit on my hands when I saw something on faceCrack that I couldn't respond to.
I think in a way, that was a blessing in disguise, because I don't think I've been targeted for political ads. Instead, I get suggestions for animal rescue videos (and would you know, there are scams happening now even on animal rescue video click bait) I digress.... back to the Cult 45 supporters
For years, I would just scroll on, and not engage. I didn't want to unfriend because I honestly believe there is good in these people, that they just need to come to the realization that they have been duped.
They won't take my word for it, and I can post links supporting my position to articles until my fingers are worn to the bone, but they will just declare that as 'fake news' So I keep my comments to a minimum, but now that I'm retired I don't have that ability taken from me. But when I see something that is just totally awful, and so unlike this person that I've known for the majority of my life, I will say something.
Here is an example: My friend posted a photo of a T-Shirt that said in psychedelic writing: "Love, Peace, and Hollow Points." (my heart cries)...
I was going to post visual images and articles against Hollow Bullets, but I stopped myself. It wouldn't have mattered, and my research in that direction sickened me. Instead I just posted this: "One of these things is not like the other. My dearest , I fear you are heading down a very dark path."
I left it there. She didn't respond at all, and she knows how I feel about it. She still cares about me as a friend.
So, you can't argue with these people. You won't win. They close their minds if you try to give them facts. Instead of shutting them out of your friendship entirely, try to remain their North Star. If they want to talk politics, politely say something to remove yourself from that conversation. If they post something that you do support, be supportive. Show them you are there and listening.
I am hoping that eventually they will come around (for her, I think it is just a matter of her getting a new boyfriend, which I think happens fairly frequently, but now she is hanging out with biker dudes. In Hawaii, of all things). Eventually, I am hopeful that she will understand that I am here to support their new realizations (and hopefully new boyfriend).
Stand by your morals. Don't engage if there is no hope of them opening their minds, but be there when they do come around and show them that Love does conquer all.
It is the best that I can do.