The Anatomy of Friendship

[xmas74]

7. I've noticed that, as I am closer to 40,

I am not as willing to put up with crap from others. I used to have a very large circle of friends but have since realized that most were not friends at all.

I've always been a fighter and I fought to maintain friendships, the way that I fought to maintain relationships. But just like a relationship, once I've given it my all I leave and I do burn bridges. I became tired of being the only one who ever called, who sent birthday and holiday cards, who made plans only to have the other party cancel them at the last minute. The only time I ever received a phone call was when they were fighting with husband/boyfriend and needed to complain, wanted a place to stay or needed to borrow money. If I had a problem at work or with my child and just needed to blow off steam it "wasn't the time to talk" or the topic would turn towards them.

What I have learned over the past couple of years is that my two closest friends are the people I least expected. Both are the opposite sex; one is a guy who chose to come out to me before anyone else (and at the time I didn't realize how close our friendship bond really was-but he did) and the other is an exboyfriend who still seems to be around after nearly 20 years. Both have had times where we come and go but we always seem to find our way back to each other.

It's so strange how I always thought my closest friends were other women.